#anyway im almost an adult now
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"you never thought what youre destinied to do?" sweetheart i thought i was destinied to kiss a truck at 130m/h at 13, but guess fates a bitch.
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I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.
#like im sorry dude did you think all autism is “anime obsessed dude”?#how did you think neurodivergent people behaved on old times?#also like#being unintentionally insensitive is almost a telltale sign of autism cause you struggle with social cues#if anything i think a lot of you are finally habing to face your own internalized predjudices#“he is annoying” yes that's how ableist neurotypical people talk about us all the time tell me something i haven't heard already#like how do i explain to you that a lot of neurotypical people tal the exact same eay youre talkbing about laios#and is annoying when they go “but im neurodivergent! i can be biased agaisnt neurodivergent people”#yes you can because being neurodivergent is not a monolith and you are mistifying being neurodivergent#by implying theres some sort of virtue in being under the spectrum when youre as capable of being a dick just as everyone else#like you think you have autism but suddenly wanting to taste things youre not supposed to eat and not remembering peoples names is too much?#some of yall never experienced beinf a “weird kid” at a young age and it shows#and im not talking the “geek bullied” weird kid kinda way#im talking “the adults think I'm weird amd don't know how to deal with me”#WHICH FITS LAIOS PERFECTLY BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SCENE OF HIS DAD SHOWING HIM FALLIN AS A BABY#AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IS THERE NO EXPECTED REACTION FROM LAIOS#anyways im making this rant because is unreal how many posts of this exist#you think Laios is annoying cause he wont shut up?#congratulations thats how most people see us#now get over it or watch other series if you hate it that much#dunmeshi hell thoughts#weird rant i suppose#dungeon meshi#laios touden
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gentle reminder that if you're a minor to please be mindful of my 18+only warnings in my blog <;'3 i got a lot of minors following me since the cotl potluck and this is mainly bc i while i dont draw nsfw my art style still isnt for 16+
#i want to post my ocs and what I draw and now that my commissions on vgen are opening up very soon#i don't want to get in trouble because someone accidentally steps into my blog#agh#rambles#sunny rambles#when i first began i only really just drew shitposts but now that im getting more comfortable i want to make my platform my own#im not comfortable with sharing even suggestive stuff and just advertise my blog as “16+” it feels weird. im a whole grown adult and I dont#to share something like that to a younger audience's safety i care abt and to my OWN safety#i feel bad but ragh#i want to post my art and my ocs but they wear form fitting stuff or something of the sort and almost all of them are feminine so im agh#ouff#sorry im rambling LOL#anyways!
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one of my favorite senarios to imagine to put yukio in is sending him 10 years into the future (with the exwires usually) and everyone from their class are like chill adults including himself working their boring ass exorcist job and hes trying to assert dominance over them as the teacher™ but they're all like bro why so serious?
#somehow in my future au i accidently made only the boys active exorcists im so sorry to all the women in aoex#they all passed but i think shiemi and izumo would leave to persue other passions but still be in ajacent fields#like shiemi still runs her exorcist shop#idk what izumo does maybe she still is an exorcist but shes on leave trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life#cuz so much of her adolescence was focused vengence for her family i think she would be kinda lost as an adult#ive said this a bunch of times but rin isnt actually an exorcist for the same reason izumo isnt#ive been kinda muddy on my own timeline but either he passed and left or he dropped out of school and ran away#i think hes like an independent demon slayer like a contract worker#so he still is basically an exorcist but not sanctioned by the vatican like as part of a mercenary guild or something#but he can still take exorcist missions if he wants to but usually its not worth it so he just helps out yukio or bon on their missions#i think after being a literal terrorist yukio got demoted and lost his license for a bit so hes still the same rank as he is now#but now hes medicated and he went to therapy#he has like no memory of highschool to almost a concerning degree and hes generally pretty muted but is still well liked#bon had a completely normal exorcist experience against all odds actually so did koneko except koneko went back to the myoda#and then shima got scouted for his amazing spy skills and works overseas#sorry shima ur not allowed to be an idol that might be the trigger for the bad end#anyway i think teen yukio would hate adult yukio because he thinks hes not allowed to be normal and happy#this is like the 4th time ive made this post like i said its one of my favorites#the reverse is rin going to the past and like tutoring the exorcist class#nobody wants to do yukio psychoanalysis but me so i gotta step up to the plate#jk theres a lot of good yukio fanfics#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#yukio okumura#rin okumura
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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sooo glad we live in the universe where twdgs4 was rewritten to be about saving the school instead of the original lis2-esque on the road each-episode-is-a-new-location plot. really dodged a bullet there
dont know if it was due to the cuts and collapsing work environment (no budget for all the assets needed) or what but the school plot is just like the perfect setting for her to end her story. and we really almost got a plot about her.... just trying to make it back to her original house? oof
#my biggest problem with lis2 is that being on the road made a lot of your choices essentially meaningless#like wheres the threat of consequence when you know youll be gone by the next episode anyway?#the kids were originally gonna kick them out permanently.......Nightmare Scenario#the plot of her trying to get back 'home' is so silly honestly like its Just nostalgia/fan bait. convince me otherwise you cant#it makes no sense....she lived right outside a major city... that place is Not safe anymore#it wasnt even safe when she left it 8 years ago girl why would you go back#her finding a place to MAKE a new home and having to fight for it? with a community of her peers who love and respect her? so much better#shes a community leader now :) of a bunch of kids living secretly in the woods just trying to make a safe home for themselves#in a hostile world that wants them dead#love that for her#shes been managing adults since she was 11 and even before that tried to be a voice of reason. at 8 years old. community leader makes sense#s4 is just so narratively sound to me for clems character that i cant believe there was ever any other direction they wanted to go in#every time im thinking about how good s4 is i remember what it almost was......... and i am so grateful we got what we did#not only do we live in the universe where s4 is about the school but we Also live in the universe where s4 was un-cancelled :) yay#shit makes me so happy man. i remember clem is living happily at ericsons and my day is Immediately improved#these little fictional bitches in my head giving me free serotonin on command#it speaks#twdg
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im gonna be honest nobody in the ostc fucking likes me asides from my friends since a little something happened and it somewhat crapped down my "reputation" i guess. i need to come over that aand accept that if it wasnt over my designs and art id be given a weird look 24/7. lol. someone tried ruining my chances of being a guest artist of something just because we dont like eachother and someone else ripped off my oc because we dont like eachother people want me gone ahhhhhhhh i wish i could completely migrate to the lisa fandom but im a bit too young for that rn, atleast in my own opinion. i dont want to risk it taking a toll on my mental health considering lisa is one hell of a game LOL. i love this game but id prefer waiting that im a bit older to make it the "only" thing idk how to put it in words??? im bad at explainig aghhhhhh; i genuinely cant believe the community of a game so life ruining has been way nicer to me than a community of trading fucking objects with limbs like pokemon cards. idont really care anymore but its sad ppl dont really like me alot, however im glad ppl like my lisa stuff though i feel happier focusig on that and my friends an drawing . ah
funny cat video
#IM OPPS WITH AN ALMOST 20 YEAR OLD PLEASEE GET ME OUT OF HERE#we r mutually blocked and im not going after them since but uhhhh they found my twitter somehow when it was inactive#i didnt even use my normal user it was just a default google user and i never linked it what the hell it scared me so bad lol#if i told you the reason we r blocking eachother youd be baffled. anyways#im grateful for everyone whos nice to me in the lisa community#im also grateful to thoses in the ostc community who accepted me somewhat#even if its just for my designs#i just wish people would get off my dick especially when now i know i have a grown ass adult against me#i try to be as normal as i can. however depression. but i like to play and draw#but i got a bunch of awesome ocs on toyhouse so maybe its worth it#and art of my ocs i love my ocs and my friends#ill see what ill make of my online presence eventually#i still have a little bit of time and my life ahead#everythig will b okay#:( i hope
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sic transit gloria mundi / burial
#i have SERIOUS thoughts on this but also. a little funny ok tai just finally manages to adjust her view of van#and sort of sway in her own beliefs#and van is like so anyway. atheism 2! gif#anyways.#SOMETHING was out there with us vs i just figured it meant SOMETHING#the juxtaposition of her talking about something supernatural vs her own purpose as a person#and how thats THE SAME FUCKING THING#grasping at something to believe in. a higher power that can save them. save her#losing it because its all just too much. losing it as an adult with a scary diagnosis#her reaction to lottie in modern timeline to me RIGHT NOW feels like. being terrified of hope#i almost died so many times i almost stopped believing i even can die and i put all my faith in you#and now my own body turned malignant and i need to be cynical i need to be REALISTIC#because to hope and to have faith can bring such a crashing disappointment#idk what im saying anymore its 3am anyways . van . vantai also. if you even care#yellowjackets blogging#van#van x taissa
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within me are two wolves.
to inject every ounce of homoerotic and severely mentally ill tension into one character (violet).
to also do that but like a concerning amount.
#aydf fic#twdg#twdg 4#twdg violet#twdg brody#brolet#twdg fanfiction#kiss scene#like they kiss a LOT a lot#HERE'S THE CONTEXT which will not be read for months but whATEVER:#in this fic the boarding school had a little civil war where half the kids formed their own cult cuz no adults and it was not a good one#so um#like almost 20 kids died in one day lol#that's not funny#lol#anywAY the brolet is violet and brody being very very emotional and very confused and touch starved and very traumatized#in like the weeks/month after the “incident” where a lot of the relationships were strained#including minnie and violet's#so there you go#to anyone who has found this little crumb the whole riot thing is huge so you're welcome for mild spoiler i guess#also as with anything im posting right now these scenes will be edited and polished in time
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I feel like there is a clear way for a transformers show to make good views and sales. And blablah blah but none of it will ever happen ;-;
#i want certain comics animated too it kills me i think itd be so cool#anyway i just think that transformers fans that are adults who dont like misogyny and shitty characteristizations deserve a series that#is fullfilling to watch#prime sits as one of my more favorite ones to watch. but i know thats controversial lol and i see why but i reallllly liked it#the spin off bs rhey did tho w the show after it sucked it made me so upset#im rly just rambling and saying whatever comes to mind tbh#i miss transformers but i have no energy to read the new continuity or read more in general 😪#earthspark is pretty cute and engaging#im going to compare it to the RiD show it's got the same vibe but more enjoyable and engaging#i hateddd the set up and flow of rid#im done rambling now#my badddd#i also think im naming the wrong show I dont remember if it was rid that im thinking of#it was the one where they connected the show to prime but only from the first ep and the whole show was ep after ep of them fighting animal#animal type tfs just saying .#i dont remember what it qas called#adding to this several days later earthspark is almost threre its really good especially for what it is i rly enjoy it
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I finally got my roku to work... through my phone 😅 apparently my backup remote wont work with the one I have so I'll still need to find my stupid real remote... but for now I can watch tv again! Yay
#i wanted to watch cold case but they gave me the equalizer and i dont know that one so im watching mockingjay part 1#i was gonna say idr if i saw it in theaters but i tememebr the dam breaking so i must have bc i remember being like YEAAAAAH and it#as in theaters so i guess i saw catching fire and part 1 with my former best friend and then part 2 with my then boyfriend (which was like#a DREAM for me agsgdgdgd i was like my favorite series and a boyfriend?? AND WE'RE AT THE MOVIES?!?' whdgdggdgdgdgd#but i dont remember like most of this movie im gonna be honest and it hits different watching it/thinking ah the series as an adult#also i finally realized why i didnt like prim til like i reread the books later in life it's that the actress looks so much more mature than#prim in the books like she looks more like she couldve taken care of herself in the games where in the books shes like rue in that she's so#small and still just a baby and that makes Katniss's actions much more touching in the book but watching the movies its like they look like#the same age almost not like 'thats my baby sister i have to save her shes MY baby too' like that visible relationship if that makes sense?#and in the movies they look like theyre both older so it's less believable to me? i mean the actress is talented dont get me wrong im just#saying i still have beef with the casting choices for some characters#anyway anyways finiiiiiick my booooooy! my maaaan! thats my maaan! i still love him sgdhdgdgdgdgd i got in FIGHTS over him lmaooo#not over who gets him but bc my friends didnt like him as much and i would get so mad lmaooo i miss those days that was funny#my poor dad listening to the same 'fight' over and over every time he drove us to hangouts agsgdgdgdggd he was like oh god not again please#ANYWAYS i wanna reread the books now for the gazillionth time sdggdgdgd#marquilla
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Oh yeah also before the year ends, happy late birthday to this blog
It was on December 26 but I forgot to post anything that day
So yeah, happy birthday jsasm, you are officially not a toddler age anymore (4 years old)
#ooc#mun post#inky speaks#it’s so weird to think I’ve been doing this for 4 years now#and it’s still not over yet lol#im almost an adult and yet we’re still not at the last chapter yet#it’s getting close i promise#anyway time to procrastinate on the next ask for another month lol
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list of things i have to do:
chemistry homework for tomorrow (very long)
literature homework (read a shitty book i hate)
art homework
history homework
list of things im doing:
watching miencraftt five nights at freeddys roleplay frommm 7 years ago made for childrenn
making a spreadsheet forr the minecraft five nights at freddys roleplay
writing fanfics about the minecraft five nights at freddys roleplay
making a playlist for the minecraft five nights at freddys roleplay because i saw someone say the other playlists were incomplete (not very well made, missing a handful of episodes i realized a couple hundred episodes later i probs should have added)
#its me talking for once#idk why im doing this tbh#its.. not the best use of my time#my parents were upset that i was watching childrens shows like tmnt and shit#because im almost an adult or whatever#and i need to watch “real shows”#so instead of doing that ive started watching the oddities roleplay#anyways uhhhhhh foxbon canon.. foxpet canon too#ummmmm foxy and roast beef are dating too idk if they have a shipname but uh yeah#cant wait for lolbit to show up i already miss her :(#foxys dating like.. every single character#good for him#ive watched about 70 episodes of tor and now im trying to watch mcfnaf#im at episode 23 or so#anyways i do kinda agree w my parents a bit? idk i probably should be watching shit that wasnt mae for 8 year olds..#i cant even claim nostalgia bc i never watched this as a kid#but who cares anyways im having fun w my dumb kids show? its not really a show#eh whatever
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looked at old pics of myself at the wrong time and now im crying.,
#i always thot i was just kinda ugly and weird and lame and like. i wasnt. not that it would matter if i was but like. i wasnt i was just. me#in my memories im so mean to myself and then to like look back at who i was at that time is like. so hard like why was i so mean to myself#and why am i still so mean to myself. like who does it benefit to remember myself as awful and annoying and ugly and unlovable#like the only person in my life who thought i was all those things was me. like the only person that hated me that much was ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i hate it here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im fine :)#this was a nice wakeup call i suppose.#also all those old pics i looked so hot im crying actual tears im so mad i could have been getting so much pussy if i wasnt so depressed#idk im just like. trying to be nice to my inner child and my inner teenager is one thing but like. being nice to me early 20s is even harde#i always thought ppl hated me and its like no bitch..... You hated YOURSELF................... anyways im dehydrated#this blog turning 13 sent me into a real spiral ill tell u WHAT.#having spent all my formative years online to then become almost completely offline after getting a job. its drama to say grieving but like#idk it felt like looking at pics of a dead relative. like it looked like me and i could remember taking those pics. but like. thats not me.#GOD. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#AND ITS ESPECIALLY CRAZY TO LOOK BACK NOW HAVING GAINED ADULT BODY WEIGHT AT PICS OF ME AS A KID WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS FAT. AND I WASNT.#AGAINNNNNNNNNNN NOT THAT IT WOULD MATTER IF I WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS#but i spent my whole life being treated as FAT without actually being fat. WHICH I AM NOW. and now im the happiest and fattest ive been.#like i actually wasnt a horrible ugly fat freak of nature. i just needed to get away from my mom#i really am rambling at this point. i know i need to Look Within and Figure Out Who I Want To Be and What Kind Of Person I Want To Become#but also i have work#and the answer is some kind of transgender. one of em. thats for sure. but like. im a waitress so like. rain check that convo....#anyways. i am not a bad person. and i wish i didnt spend so much of my life convincing myself i was. but u live and u learn i fucking GUESS
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um. i bought an adult toy.
#.din#.txt#im not a prude. i barely flinched twice before i changed my original post to 'adult toy'.#NOT SFW TEXT#almost forgor. anyways. im like a real boy [adult] now.
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i’m not too fond of tkd anymore however, the queer kids confiding in me at the training center makes it so damn difficult to leave can i just adopt them T — T
#their religions are stricter than mine one of them almost got into conversion therapy and has been...berated to say the least#can i just take that suffering from them im used to religious bullshit anyway w my dad being a pastor and my mom an ex nun#why why would you say mean things to your child when theyre just figuring themselves out why why why fucking die#i absented for two ish weeks but now im back bc the same queer kids want me to join them in the upcoming tournament#so i listed myself up 😭😭😭👍#im just comforting them with the fact that as an adult it gets easier. the autonomy. not how their oarents or teachers view them.#i just want good things for them. i hope when i move out of this place we can maintain communication. i want to support them#just one. if one person isn't disgusted by u it makes so much of a difference and i want to be that for them bc no one was to me till 18#as long as im not moving out i will stick to that training center. i hope things work out for them. i hope they dont feel alienated#in their own body#or feel like a disgrace#tw rant#fucking colonizers and their christianity we were doing FINE without it and now look at the stupid things religion makes parents do. god.
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