#anyway i'm not tagging all of them but i love them all dearly

[necrotic-nephilim]

I’m here to bother you again!!!

You don’t have to if you don’t want to but maybe dark ship bingo with timjay or brudick????

hELLO i love being bothered by you this is delightful omg thank you, i would love to

Here is JayTim, I can't believe I only got one bingo for them. Ironically I genuinely don't view Jason and Tim as family, even when I'm not shipping them, I think they're tentative allies at best and you can only brother-ify them if you're doing very generously OOC fluff, a la WFA-style. They're absolutely toxic and codependent on each other's existence, Tim wouldn't exist without Jason and Jason is Undeniably Weird about Tim, but not brothers so I can't check off the familial squares. Also, I have no idea if I've been blocked by 10+ people, but it'd be funny if I am. And funnily enough, I don't think Tim or Jason are vanilla in any capacity even when they're not fucking. Especially not Tim, that boy is Certified Weird.

and ofc BruDick I nearly blacked out the whole board because they absolutely are weird and unwell. Some of these only apply to certain AUs of BruDick (like an idea I have rattling in my skull rn with Talon!Dick) but most of it applies to them all the time. I really need to write some fucked up BruDick, it's tragic I haven't yet. Right now the two fics I'm working on are a weird JayDick and a more fluffy DamiDick, but I have Plans™ for BruDick too. They are the OG and deserve their flowers for being the most toxic mess you've ever seen.

[singsweetmelodies]

the wonderful @hrhgeorgerussell tagged me to share a WIP snippet several days ago, and because I'm unfortunately both busy and forgetful, I'm only getting to it now 🥲🙈 but here we go now! the latest developments in the 2023 kissing fic (which should be posted before Friday as a much-needed good luck charm/sacrifice to the racing gods before yet another bloody sprint weekend)

We are not getting drunk on a race weekend again, Pear, Charles replies, very sternly. Andrea nearly murdered me after Montreal. 

Spoilsport, Pierre texts, followed by a veritable flurry of disappointed face emojis. There are so many of them that Charles knows Pierre doesn't truly care whether they get drunk or not – he's just trying to get a reaction out of Charles. 

Well, Charles can certainly give him a reaction.

I'll make it up to you, he promises, and doesn't even think twice about adding a little kiss emoji at the end. 

I'm listening, Pierre replies, and Charles doesn't need to be able to see him to know he'll have settled back more comfortably wherever he's sitting, one arm stretched up behind his head and a too-attractive smirk on his lips.

🤭

tagging @hourcat, @duquesademiel, @wolfiemcwolferson, @river-ocean, @pinkierre, @yukierres, @moonlight0starlighte, @francophones, and @leclercenjoyer, if any of you feel like sharing a little something for, um, *checks calendar* Snippet Tuesday? *smiles winningly* 😬😁🥰

[deadrlngers]

— OCS RED FLAGS.

i was tagged by @denerims and @risingsh0t to take this quiz for my ocs, thank you both sooo much!!

i'm tagging @arklay @nuclearstorms @morvaris @uldwynsovs @devilbrakers @faarkas @girlbosselrond @indorilnerevarine @shadowglens @jacobseed @lightwardens and whoever wants to do this <3

VIOLENT

when something makes you upset, it could even be the tiniest most petty reason ever, you yell, rage, and possibly throw stuff in anger. your actions think quicker than your mind, and it could probably not even be intentional but the next thing you'll realize is that you've hurt someone

MANIPULATIVE

you're probably a passive aggressive person. you frequently lie, and gaslight to get your way. you never want to be held responsible for your actions so you avoid situations by either victimizing yourself, belittling others concerns, hiding the truth, and using threats to harm yourself or others

FAKE

you are a toxic human being. you belittle others, and are overly competitive. you probably envy those who have it better than you so you try to manipulate the person into feeling worthless so that you can feel superior. you are never there for your friends in time of need but you expect them to always be at your service

[krikeymate]

Chad: Mindy almost died... again! I can’t take this any more Tara, I... I can’t lose her. I have to protect my sister. We’re going home... I want you to come with me.

Tara, smiling sadly: It’s like you said Chad, I have to protect my sister.

Chad: How are you going to protect her Tara? You can’t even protect yourself!

Tara: Chad

Chad, reaching for her hand: Sam would want you to come with me, you know that’s true. And I... I want you to come with me, I need you with me.

Tara, pulling back: I’m part of the problem. It doesn’t matter where you run to. If I’m with you, you’ll never be safe.

Chad: That’s not true! They’re onl-

Tara: After Sam? C’mon Chad, I know you’re smarter than that. Besides... even if that were true... I’d still choose to stay.

Chad, tears welling in his eyes: I have to leave.

Tara, a single tear escaping her eye: I have to stay.

Chad pulls Tara in for a final kiss. He pulls back regretfully and walks towards the door.

Chad: Promise me this isn’t the last time we’ll see each other.

Tara: ...Goodbye Chad.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Oh Oh what about 'H-how long have you been standing there?' Canon(-adjacent) Hurt/Comfort and Book? this list is actually so interesting there's so many good combinations

Thank you so much, it's been lots of fun seeing which combinations ppl picked and coming up with different story ideas. Hope you enjoy this one. 💖

True love's kiss

Rated: G

Words: 995

Tags: Post-Vecna; Everybody lives; Eddie Munson has a crush on Steve Harrington; Steve Harrington has a crush on Eddie Munson; Steve has migraines; Hurt/comfort; Love confessions

Eddie finds out by accident. It's one of the last days of summer, and the air has a sticky heaviness to it. He just wants to pick up some stuff he forgot after last night's campaign. Steve isn’t home, he knows for a fact. So what if he memorized his shift plan? It's perfectly normal, most definitely not a sign of obsession or codependency. 

Anyway, the point is, Steve isn't home, so Eddie doesn't ring, just lets himself in and marches into the living room. And that's where his plans for the afternoon derail. 

Steve is on the sofa in front of the television. Eddie's swoop of surprise is short-lived, however, because he isn't watching a movie or game. 

The tv isn't on at all. The entire house is deadly quiet. The blinds on the windows are drawn and the air conditioning is on, the room dark and cold.

Steve is buried in the pillows. His shoulders are shaking. 

“Stevie?” Eddie blurts. “What happened?” 

“Eddie?” Steve croaks. One eye pokes out from the pillows, bleary and horrified. “I- … H-how long have you been standing there?” 

Eddie doesn’t answer. He has already bridged the distance and is sinking down on the armrest by Steve’s head.

Steve sees the concern on his face and groans. “I'm fine. It's just … fucking headaches, don't worry.” 

But Eddie does worry. Eddie is freaking out, which is only natural given their shared history. He makes a horrified sound, shooting up to grab the walkie from Steve’s room and call a code red. 

“No, wait,” Steve says, holding him back with one shaky hand to his wrist. “‘s not anything supernatural. I mean they’ve gotten worse, after everything, but that's probably ‘cause I took a few hits too many. I've always had ‘em. Ever since I was a kid.” 

Eddie lets that statement trickle in. 

“Oh,” he then breathes, sitting back down and gesturing at the dark room. “You mean migraines?” 

Steve, who has thrown one arm over his face, peers out at him. 

“How d’you …?” 

Eddie shrugs sheepishly. “My mom used to get them, before …” 

He trails off, lost in the memory, fingers grasping to fiddle with something. He only realizes where they've landed when they start scratching at Steve's scalp, and a noise spills from his chest. Eddie flinches, stomach alive with an entire whirlwind of butterfly wings, and makes to pull back his hand. 

“No,” Steve mumbles. He's pale, but some of the tension has bled from his features. His voice is slurred. “Don't stop. Feels good.” 

And who is Eddie to deny him? 

Nodding, he slides off the armrest to sit more comfortably, pulling Steve’s head into his lap to rub soothing circles into his temples. He only notices the book lying on Steve’s stomach when it gets jostled by the motion and almost tumbles to the floor. 

“Hey, what’s this?” Eddie mutters, flipping it over to inspect the cover. “Fairytales?” 

Steve takes a few moments to reply, and in the low light, Eddie imagines he sees two pink splotches bloom high in his cheekbones. 

“My nanny used to read ‘em to me when I was sick. I was tryna, but … the fuckin’ letters keep moving.” 

“I'll read you one.” 

Another blink of those pretty eyes, pupils fuzzy and unfocused. “Really?” 

“Sure,” Eddie nods, reveling in the smile he gets when he flips the book open. “Let’s see … Once upon a time, there was a king. He was beautiful and kind and brave, and everybody in the realm loved him dearly. But the king was cursed. He-”

“Wait,” Steve mutters. His lids flutter as he struggles to stay awake. “I don’t- … Which one is this?” 

“My favorite,” Eddie replies. “Now hush, you’re supposed to be resting. Where was I? … The king had been befallen by an evil curse. He couldn’t love himself. He slaughtered many a beast, fought countless battles, hoping to prove his own worth to himself, but nothing lifted the shadow looming over him.” 

Eddie turns a page, crinkling his brow in thought. 

Steve stifles a yawn. His head is getting heavier in Eddie’s lap. “Then what happened?” 

“Patience, I was getting to it,” Eddie scolds. “One day, a new jester arrived at the court. He was skeptical, having heard grand tales of the young king’s beauty and good heart, never quite believing them. Yet, the second he beheld the king with his own eyes, he was enraptured, and he vowed to-”  

“En-whatchered?” 

“Enraptured, Stevie,” Eddie sighs, setting the book aside in favor of combing his fingers through Steve’s hair again. “Smitten, enchanted, lovestruck.” 

“Pffff,” Steve makes. “Love at first sight ain't real.” 

Eddie scoffs half-heartedly. “It's a fairytale. It's not supposed to be realistic. And besides, I'm only telling it, not making it up.” 

“Oh yeah,” Steve says. If his eyes were open, he'd be rolling them right now. “Obviously.” 

“Obviously,” Eddie agrees, and losing himself for a moment in the lines and angles of Steve’s face, the feel of his hair between his fingers. 

“How does it end?” 

Eddie blinks. “Huh?” 

“The story, silly,” Steve mutters. “How does the jester save the king?”  

“Who said he does?” 

Steve sighs, satisfied and exhausted. “‘s a fairytale. Gotta have a happy ending.” 

Eddie shrugs. “Fair enough. What d’you think he should do?” 

Steve stays silent for a long moment. Eddie is starting to think he fell asleep when he speaks again, so softly it's nearly lost under the rush of the air conditioning. 

“How ‘bout a kiss?” 

“Ah,” Eddie says around the lump forming in his throat. “Good one. Can't go wrong with true love's kiss.” 

Steve hums in agreement. 

“After the king sleeps, though.” His hand finds Eddie’s, interlacing their fingers. “Waited so long for this. Wanna do it without a headache.” 

Eddie is left in the dark, listening as Steve’s breathing evens out, wondering how much of their conversation he'll recall when he wakes up. 

More celebration ficlets

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part two

summary: all the stars aligned, and it was you.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.1k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, r is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: ahhh welcome sejanus i love him dearly

series masterlist // playlist

It was only a few hours of making small talk with Capitol strangers before you caught a glimpse of the red uniform your new friend was wearing just this morning. For a moment, you did think it was him, that he was back, but the dark curly hair and eyes of another boy was what greeted you instead. He must be another mentor.

You watch as he walks up to the edge of the cage with a few bags, placing them down and opening one as he scans the group of you trapped in the cage. "Marcus!" He calls out, and your gaze falls on the District Two tribute. "I brought you something to eat, it's me, Sejanus. Do you remember?"

You furrow your brow at his desperate attempts to speak to Marcus. How could they have known each other? As far as you know, they had never met. You approach the boy slowly. He seems to have a good heart, to bring food for someone who you know he is meant to believe is less than.

"I can bring it to him, if you'd like." You offer quietly, holding out a hand from a little ways away. "We're all very tired. I'm sure he's still just recovering from the ride."

"That would be great." The boy, Sejanus, agrees, handing you the sandwich. "Thank you, Y/N."

"My pleasure." You smile, taking it and heading over to where Marcus is sitting on a rock, facing the opposite direction.

"Marcus?" You hum, crouching down in front of him.

"I'm not taking anything from him." He grumbles, hardly meeting your eye.

"Oh." You look back at Sejanus, who's watching you hopefully. "Do you know each other?"

"Not anymore."

"I see." You nod, thinking over how you could get him to eat. "Well, take it from me, then. I'll just take his kind gesture for myself, but I'll share it with you. Now," You rip the already cut sandwich in half. "It's from me. And I know you're hungry, so please. Have some of mine."

He looks down at the sandwich in your hand and sighs, taking it begrudgingly. "Thanks, Y/N."

"Anytime." You smile, gently patting him on the knee as you stand back up, giving Sejanus a grin and a small thumbs up.

He gestures for you to come back over to him, so you do, half the sandwich still in hand. "Thank you for doing that." He says once you're close enough to hear at a normal volume.

"Yes, of course. I'll give him the rest in a bit, I feel like he won't take it while you're still here." You smile sadly at him.

"No, I insist. You have it. I brought plenty of food for all of you."

"Oh, really?" You smile, looking down at the bags at his feet now. "That's so kind of you."

"I couldn't let you starve in here." He replies. "It's barbaric, and sick, and I am so, so sorry."

His emotional response catches you off guard. "Oh... Well, thank you. But know it was not your doing."

"I know it's not... but I wish there was more I could do."

"You're doing all you can, more than anyone expected of you." You reassure him. "Don't feel guilty."

Sejanus just nods, reaching for a bag and holding it open between the bars. "Would you mind..? I don't think they will trust me." He asks and you nod, turning to see who you could call to come eat. If one person comes, more will follow.

"Jessup." You smile hopefully at the boy from your District, waving him over. "Sejanus here has brought food to share, come eat."

"I'm not hungry." He mumbles as he gets closer to you, looking down into the bag anyway as you reach your hand in to grab him a sandwich.

"Please eat." You sigh. "If we eat the others will too. I don't want anyone hungry."

"We'll all be hungry." Jessup replies, taking the sandwich from your hand anyway. "It won't matter next week."

"Okay, well, for now, we're just living in the moment and enjoying this lovely food our new friend brought for us."

"My Ma made it all." He explains, and you tilt your head at him. There was something so distinctly District about how he referred to his mother, but was he not Capitol? After all, he was a mentor. He was wearing a matching red uniform.

"Will you tell her thank you for us?" You ask, taking the first bite out of the sandwich in your hand. "This is really good. We haven't eaten in days."

"She'll be happy to hear that. Yes, of course, I'll pass that on."

By the time any other tributes who wanted to eat had been fed, you were sitting down across the bars from Sejanus, chewing on your second helping shamelessly leaning over criss-crossed legs. "Do you know Coriolanus Snow?" You asked, covering your mouth as you spoke.

"Coryo?" Sejanus smiles. " I do. He's my best friend."

"Is he?" You smile, leaning forward. "He's my mentor. He seems kind."

Sejanus shrugs. "I would say he is, most of the time."

"And you call him Coryo?" You ask, head tilted at him. "Is that what his friends call him?"

"I guess so. Not everyone... Just his friends, yeah." Sejanus explains, neglecting to mention that by this definition, he and Coriolanus's cousin Tigris are his only real friends.

"I see. That's nice." You hum, looking down at the food in your hands. "How long have you been friends?"

"Since I moved here from Two." Oh, that makes sense. He and Marcus did know each other. "He was the only one who was nice to me, still is, honestly, but yeah, about ten years now."

"I have a similar story about him." You joke. "Of course, I've only known him for a few hours. And I guess now I have two friends here, if I can count you."

"Sure." Sejanus smiles, trying to hide the sadness behind it.

"I mean, don't feel like you have to agree. I know your loyalties lie elsewhere." You catch on to his hesitation, following his gaze over to Marcus. "Besides, I don't hold grudges. Even if I did, I won't be holding it for long now, would I?"

"It's not that." Sejanus quickly shakes his head. "I just... I am one of you. District, I mean. That will never change." He sighs, and you watch as he twists his fingers together nervously. "I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I can't imagine how scared you must be and-"

"That it will never come again. That is what makes life so sweet." You cite, giving him a small smile. "There is nothing that you or I can change now, or then. I am just blessed it was me and not yet my brother. Change will come at the right time. If it's after me, it's after me; I will live forever."

Sejanus opens his mouth to speak, looking slightly dumbfounded before closing his jaw again tightly, giving you a curt nod.

"Don't pity him." You whisper, tucking your knees up to your chest on the cold ground and watching as his eyes fall back onto Marcus. "It will make it only worse."

You rest your chin on the skin of your knees. "I don't- it's not my fault and I know that." He replies.

"I know, Sejanus." You say, smiling in the face of his defensiveness. "Just... Don't let him think that. Which is easier said than done, I know."

"We're supposed to be mentoring you." He says after a moment, back to his normal self, from what you could tell. "Not the other way around."

"You're right. My apologies." You giggle. "Tell me then, how do I win?" You don't truly expect an answer; you don't expect you have any chance of winning. Not without the need enough to kill. It wouldn't be worth it, despite.

"My honest, best advice?" He asks rhetorically, looking around as he leans in to whisper to you. "Figure out a way to escape."

"Sejanus." You don't have the time to process the shock of his suggestion before your conversation is being interrupted by Coriolanus standing behind him, casting a shadow over the two of you. "What are you doing with my tribute?"

"Oh, uh..." Immediately Sejanus becomes shifty at Coriolanus's question. "I brought some food for everyone, and Y/N helped me distribute it. We were just talking."

"Welcome back, Coriolanus. You missed the sandwiches Sejanus brought." You grin, standing up and brushing off the bare backs of your legs.

"That's a shame. Would you come with me?" He asks, motioning for you to follow him along the bars and you nod.

"Thank you, Sejanus." You take a moment to honestly thank him, and he just nods before you follow Coriolanus who has already walked away.

"How was your day? I assume you went to school?" You ask, stopping just in front of him.

"It was... fine, thank you." He clears his throat. "Hard to focus."

"Oh?" You tilt your head as he digs through his bag. "What's bothering you?"

"Well, uh," He pauses, looking up from his bag to meet your eyes. "This mentorship thing is new, and very important, so there's just a lot on my mind."

"There's a prize." You state at the realization, smile fading slightly. You had been so excited that he was so kind to you that you failed to consider the likelihood of an incentive.

"There is." He confirms. "But, whether or not you win doesn't matter. I am here to help you do the best you can, and I do want you to win."

"Oh, I see." You reply hesitantly. Sejanus told you he is kind, so he must be. You have to force yourself to believe he's not just using you. But even if he is, what does it matter? If he's kind to you in your final days, out of honesty or personal gain, will the intentions even matter? You suppose not. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me." He quickly shakes his head. You had thanked the peacekeepers who had walked you to the stage, you had thanked the village of people who stood there while you said your final goodbyes and did nothing but listen in silence. No one responded. Coriolanus wouldn't be added to a list of people you thank for nothing.

"Sorry." You mumble, looking around behind you now.

"No, I-" He sighs, taking a breath as he rubs his forehead, pushing away his curls and making it easier for you to see his eyes. "I didn't mean that. I just mean... I haven't done anything for you. I want to help, but don't thank me until I have."

"You have." You answer honestly. "I didn't expect to meet anyone so kind... It helps a lot to just know I have one person who's not rooting against me."

"I would never." Coriolanus insists quickly, shaking his head. "I talked to the head gamemaker, she likes my ideas. That's why Sejanus and the others are here. People want to get to know you. It will help."

You're unsure of how that could help you in the arena, you had never seen it before; you tried to avoid watching or viewing anything to do with the games. It scared you. Petrified you, even, you weren't sure what you expected; but it wasn't that you would be able to get any help. You smile anyway, giving him a slight nod as you wrap your arms tightly around yourself. It's not too cold, but you feel exposed. Even the warm July air, when brushing over your uncovered skin could give you chills in these circumstances.

"You just have to talk to people who come to see you, be nice, like you're trying to make friends. We want to humanize you. I may be able to get people to send you gifts in the arena, food and water to keep you going if they like you."

"Okay." You answer quietly. "I've been talking to folks who come, not much else to do in here." You shrug, smiling at him hopefully. You don't want to sound like you're complaining, you're sure complaining about circumstances you can't change will get you nowhere. "The people seem lovely."

"Lovely." He scoffs, shaking his head with a grin of disbelief. "You don't have to lie to me, you know."

"I'm not!" You insist with a slight laugh, looking around. "They just... seem a little scared, for some reason. It seems like they came to stare, not to talk."

"Well, people here don't like people who are different. To them, you're all different."

"And to you?" You ask, tilting your head at him.

The look you give him could make his heart melt. Wide-eyed and kind down to your bones. If he had the power to call off the games, right now as he looked down into your soul, he would do it in a heartbeat. I'm not here to be friends with her. I'm here to win, Coriolanus has to remind himself. "You're different." He replies. "But I think that's a very good thing."

taglist: @soulessjourney, @keziahcore, @that-veela-girl, @motorsport, @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs, @Lanadelrey3, @rawrmameh, @3zae-zae3, @babyspice6, @pastel0rchid, @maysileeewrites, @articxari, @Urfavpouge, @Multivitaminfy, @baybieruth, @kitscutie, @annaelise, @serrendiipty, @fratboyharrysgf0201, @totallynotkaibiased, @stelleduarte, @klplynn, @secretsicanthideanymore, @bejeweledreverie, @fals3-g0d, @drewsandsebastianswife, @niicole-87, @queenofshinigamis, @innercreationflower, @nallasstuff, @spring-goddess1, @baybieruth, @lovelyxtom, @throughgoeshxmilton, @enwonie, @scorpiolystoned

if your user has a strikethrough i wasn't able to tag you! i'm so sorry!

[jinhyun]

↬part two

"then I think about summer, all the beautiful times

i watched you laughin' from the passenger's side"

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: written series, angst, fluff, friends to lovers to exes to lovers, she fell first but he fell harder, yearning, mutual pining, non-idol au, baker!y/n, movie producer!hyunjin.

word count: 11.3k

warnings: y/n has self-sabotaging tendencies, cursing, mentions of alcohol, eventual smut, mature content, MINORS DNI!!!

tag list: open. send me an ASK to be a part of it, otherwise i might miss it. i will only be adding people who are willing to reblog the chapters and/or comment on them, because it does take time out of my day to tag everyone and likes or straight up cricket noises do nothing for me in return if i'm honest.

a/n: helloo, it's been a long time but here we are again with a new part. this turned out longer than i expected and i apologise, but i wanted to mainly show how these two got together and how it was that things started off for them, as well as how the dynamic of their friend group used to be before everything went down. in other words, and as you can see in the verse of the song i quoted, this part's gonna be more on the fluffy side (but not completely lol), so i hope you enjoy this small part of their story!

feedback is very dearly appreciated<3

You had never been a big fan of packing, but you were quite excited about the trip with your friends the next day. To be honest, you did not used to be a big fan of camping either, until that first year in college when summer came and Jeongin mentioned this one place he and his family used to go camping when he was little.

Everyone was so excited about it that you couldn't say no. Seungmin wouldn't have let you miss out on it and abandon him anyway.

And, in the end, you were glad you hadn't stayed home instead. It turned out to be a really precious bonding time for all of you, to the point that you all agreed to make it a summer vacation tradition — every single year of college, without missing a beat, all eleven of you would drive outside the city and ventour into the forest to have what you liked to call your much needed healing time.

Although the entirety of your friend group had graduated college last year, you had promised to keep making time for your yearly camping trip.

Minji hadn't been able to keep that promise that particular year, given she got an internship in the States and had left a little over a month and a half before summer started. She had promised over and over before leaving that she would most definitely make it next year, and you were all counting on that.

You were sad that she wouldn't make it, for now you would only have Hyejin to fight the potentially annoying male species you'd be hanging out with.

And there was also the fact that you thought Hyunjin wouldn't feel like going anymore. Sure, he would go, for he had promised and he loved spending time with all of you, but a part of you believed he wouldn't be the same since Minji wouldn't be there — that he wouldn't be as eager about the trip as he always was.

It was the way he hugged her and visibly didn't want to let go when you had all gone to send her off and she was about to walk through security. After witnessing that, you had convinced yourself that Hyunjin wouldn't be himself until she came back.

You had decided to give him space. You knew you'd be the same if you ever lost Seungmin, and that without being in love with him. 

It would be good for you, too. Giving Hyunjin space and letting him find himself without his beloved best friend meant not seeing him for a while, and therefore, finally being able to focus on moving on from your stupid crush on him.

Only that you wanting to give him space didn't exactly mean he wanted to take that space away from you. So you knew when not even a week after Minji's departure he was calling you up to hang out.

Most of your friends would be there, minus Felix and Hyejin, who had already made plans alone, so you accepted. It had started out just like that, at least — hanging out with your group of friends, the way you always had. But now his attention was only on you, and his eyes would oh-so-naturally fix on you like it was their default target.

It didn't stop there. Hanging out with everyone else yet only focusing on you turned into making plans for just the two of you. You had been ecstatic the first time he asked you out — as friends, of course. He had a shitty day at work and wanted to go out for some coffee, but he didn't feel like being around a large group of people. You accepted in a heartbeat, so happy about getting to spend some time alone with him that you completely forgot about the whole 'getting over him' goal you had going on.

So happy to finally get the attention you wanted from him, that you didn't stop for one second to think whether he would be asking you to get some coffee with him if Minji were still here.

But it didn't matter, because one coffee date turned into two, and then two turned into three. Friendly dates turned into 'oh, maybe this is not so friendly' ones. Sunset walks turned into watching movies at either one of your places. Late night calls on the days you didn't get to see each other turned into texting all throughout the day, every day; which led to getting goodnight and good morning text messages with definitely-not-so-friendly hearts attached to them.

Just like that, Hyunjin was just as eager as every other year to go on this trip. And you? God, you couldn't wait for the day to arrive so you could spend even more time with him. You were mainly expectant of the bonfire at night — you had always loved the way the fire illuminated his factions from afar. He always managed to look extra cozy and your heart would flutter with every single glimpse. This year, though, you hoped you'd get to sit next to him, and maybe, if you were lucky enough, you'd get to share a blanket with him; as childish as it sounded.

Your daydreaming got interrupted by your phone buzzing on your night table, making you jump from your bed to pick it up and then feel your heart do a backflip when you read Hyunjin's name on the screen.

Fixing your hair as fast as you could and making sure your face looked presentable enough for him to see, you answered his video call. 

"Hey, cutie" he greeted as soon as your face was visible on the screen.

You smiled timidly, feeling the heat reach your cheeks at the sound of that simple pet name. "You do realise it's midnight, don't you?"

"You answered anyway" he smirked triumphantly, earning a roll of eyes from you. "Why? Did I wake you?"

"No," you shook your head, looking down to your packed bag on your bed. "I was kinda going through everything I needed to pack, to make sure I won't forget anything".

"Well, in case you forgot to pack mosquito repellent like last year, I'm glad to inform you I've kindly packed some for you".

A small, breathy laugh escaped your mouth. "Why, thank you" you brought a dramatic hand to your chest. "Did I really traumatize you last year for that to be the first thing to come to mind when packing for me?"

"I wouldn't say traumatized…" he mumbled, looking down to what you guessed was his bag, as he unzipped it. "But you did make me so fucking worried when you came out of your tent that morning all covered in mosquito bites, so…"

Watching him show the repellent bottle to the camera, you couldn't help the throaty laugh that ran past your mouth this time, hearing him follow along the moment the sound you made reached his ears.

"You really didn't have to…"

"Did you remember to pack it this time?" he tested you.

"No, but—but," you quickly emphasized at the sight of his daring eyes. "Minnie always brings some. I was just too lazy to go up to his tent at night when I realised I hadn't asked him for it last year. I didn't think it would be that bad".

"Well, now you've got your own personal bottle of it" he pointed out, stuffing it back into his bag. "So no need to go to his tent if you forget to ask him for it again".

Too enchanted by that thoughtful act of service of his, you didn't realise you were staring until he blushed and cleared his throat.

"What?" he shyly asked.

"Huh?" you snapped out of it.

"I don't know, I… you weren't like, saying anything and—"

"Oh, no, I just…" you felt your cheeks burn once again. "Thank you. You're cute".

He laughed breathily, almost inaudibly. "I'm cute?"

"You know what I mean" you glared.

"I'd like to think you mean something else, though…"

You needed to take a deep, rather shaky, breath at that. Keeping yourself composed was not an easy thing to do when he said things like that.

"So, um… What were you calling for?"

He shrugged, letting you get away with your change of subject and lying back on his mattress. "Just wanted to talk to you".

"At midnight?" you raised an eyebrow.

"Got a problem with it?"

"Not really," you chuckled. "But we're seeing each other in a couple of hours, in case you forgot".

"Oh, I'm well aware of it," he nodded, tiredly placing an arm over his eyes. "Still wanted to talk to you before going to bed".

"Clingy" you teased.

The smile that curved up the corners of his plump lips made you wish you were there with him, lying your head on his chest and playing with his hair, instead of having to settle down for seeing him through a screen.

"It's gonna be a different trip this time around, huh?" you mumbled after a few seconds in which silence had taken over.

"Yeah…" he agreed quietly, removing his arm from his face and lying on his side. "It's gonna be weird without Minji".

You hummed in response. "I'll only have Hyejin to fight you guys now, and that's when she and Lix aren't all over each other".

"You'll have me, though" he smiled innocently.

You snorted. "Please, you'd drop me in a heartbeat to join the guys when they pick on me".

"That is so not true" he argued, squinting his eyes at you.

"I guess we'll see what happens when the time comes," you taunted him. "You think you'll still be able to have as much fun?"

"You mean without Minji?"

You nodded silently, bracing yourself for the answer you didn't want to know yet had not been able to stop yourself from asking about.

"Sure," he nodded confidently, making your heart feel at ease. "I've got you, it's gonna be just as fun".

"You think so?" you whispered.

"Of course!" he reassured you. "Let's go in the same car tomorrow, we can sit together and share earphones".

"I'm taking Changbin's car" you pointed out.

"Cool," he nodded. "I'll let him know I'm taking his too, then".

"No but, you know what that means, right?"

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Not really…"

You chuckled. "It means he'll make me go on the passenger seat so I can lead the way for him, since he always seems to miss the entrance to the camping site".

"Can't he have someone else to do it?"

"He doesn't really trust any of the guys when it comes to giving directions," you shook your head. "And I respect him for it, honestly. Last time we had Felix give out directions we nearly ended up in Busan".

He puffed his cheeks cutely, in a way that had your heart melting in a second. "Good thing Airpods are a thing then. We can still share".

"And miss Binnie's carpool?"

"You know what, if you hate me just say so".

A throaty laugh escaped your mouth at his salty remark, staring at him through the screen in such a loving way that for a second there you feared he would realise your feelings for him.

"I guess we can share Airpods" you rolled your eyes in amusement, having him happily laugh under his breath. "Don't be too surprised when I start singing along to whatever Binnie's playing on the radio, though".

"I will feel slightly neglected but I get it" he sighed overdramatically.

Covering the yawn coming out of your mouth with your hand, you sleepily stared at him on the screen. "We should go to sleep now…"

"Are you trying to get rid of me now?"

"I'm sleepy..."

"But you look so cute like that" he cooed.

"It's nearly one in the morning, Hwang Hyunjin" you tried your best to sound stern and hide your smile. "We leave at seven".

"Alright," he sighed once more, closing his eyes. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

You nodded, a small smile making its way on your face. "See you tomorrow, Hyunie".

He smiled blissfully. "See you tomorrow, cutie".

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

"Can we stop to get some food?" Seungmin asked from the backseat.

You laughed over Changbin's heavy sigh next to you. It had only been half an hour since you left Seoul, and there was still another hour to go, yet you couldn’t say you were entirely surprised over your best friend’s request.

The trip had been smooth so far, way too smooth — Changbin and Jeongin loudly singing to any song that came on the playlist being the only sense of disruption in the car. You remained silently staring out the window, lightly bopping your head to the beat of the music coming from the Airpod you were sharing with Hyunjin. It was a funny contrast, having Binnie and Innie singing at the top of their lungs to nothing but upbeat songs, while Hyunjin and you listened to slower, calmer ones and quietly stared at the passing scenery outside.

The somewhat balanced atmosphere you all had managed to create was just bound to be disrupted by your best friend at some point.

"I asked you all if you wanted to stop for food before hitting the highway and you said you wanted to have breakfast at the camping site".

Seungmin pouted, childishly sinking against his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. "I wanted to live the full camping experience, but I take it back now, I'm hungry".

"Well, too bad because I'm not stopping until we get there".

Hearing Seungmin whine behind you in what sounded more like a tantrum, you couldn't help but laugh, staring at him through the rearview mirror before your eyes unconsciously fixed on Hyunjin by the window. He was laughing over your best friend's scene too, and his eyes were already on you. You held his stare through the reflection for a moment, enjoying the sight of his smile and the sound of his giggle before you looked down in a poor attempt to calm your racing heart.

Clearing your throat, you reached down to the backpack by your feet and rummaged through it until you found the snacks you had packed that morning before heading out, precisely in case something like this happened.

Without a word, you reached your hand behind your seat, giggling to yourself when you felt the pack of cookies being snatched from your hold not even a second later.

"You're the best, I swear to God" Seungmin managed to say with his mouth already full. "You better be selling these at our coffee shop once we open it".

You chuckled. "I will".

"Wait, those are homemade?" Jeongin asked from the middle seat.

"Mhm…" you nodded, leaning slightly back when he peeked his head through your seat.

"You have more?"

"Take some from Seungm—"

"No way, they're mine" Seungmin growled.

Rolling your eyes, you leaned down to your backpack once more, defeatedly looking for another bag of cookies you had thankfully packed as well.

"These are double chocolate chips," you let Jeongin know as you handed them to him. "Please share them with Hyunjin in case he wants some".

"I do want some!" he stated from behind, having your amused eyes instinctively fix on him through the rearview mirror, right as he eagerly dug his hand into the bag.

"And what about me?" Changbin whined. "You all are lucky I care about your lives and can't just turn around and snatch them from you right now".

You chuckled, reaching your hand behind your seat, and opening your palm. "Minnie".

The sound of his name coming out of your mouth was all it took for a single cookie to be reluctantly placed on it.

"Here," you called Changbin's attention, motioning for him to open his mouth.

"Is it red velvet?" he asked, opening his mouth and taking a bite regardless, as he was ready to eat whatever it was you decided to feed him. 

As soon as he tasted them, he dramatically threw his head back and hit the border of the steering wheel.

"Fuck! They're so good".

You laughed, lightheartedly shaking your head at his reaction. Not even ten seconds later, he was opening his mouth again and leaning slightly over your side for you to feed him the remaining of the cookie you had managed to get from Seungmin.

Having fed him and watching him happily munch on it, you leaned back against your seat, closing your eyes to go back to listening to Hyunjin's playlist like you had been doing before this whole cookies situation took place — only for Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo to start playing.

Almost jumping from your seat, you turned around, staring at Hyunjin in utter disbelief while your jaw comically dropped.

"You did not just do that" you accused him.

He chuckled, staring down with a proud smirk at the unlocked phone in his hands as he seemed to look for another song. His point had already been made.

"What happened?" Jeongin wondered.

"Nothing, Hyunjin's just an idiot" you replied, tauntingly squinting your eyes at Hyunjin, only for his smile to grow.

"At least I'm not a traitor" his smile turned into a cynical smirk.

"A traitor why?" Seungmin's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Who's a traitor?" Changbin joined in.

"It's nothing" Hyunjin brushed it off, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Oh, so you guys have reached the internal jokes stage now?" 

"Shut up…" you felt the heat reach your face, turning around to sit properly and look ahead to the road.

Olivia’s voice stopped being heard, and it was replaced by Lauv’s, as I Like Me Better began to play. You looked down to your lap and tried to contain your smile. It had been ages since you last listened to that song, and a part of you, the delusional one that was head over heels for Hyunjin, wanted to believe he was dedicating it to you right then.

Looking out the window when you managed to conceal your blissfulness and everyone seemed to already be back in their own world, you decided to just focus on the road and stop giving too much thought to the song choice of his throughout the ride. He was using a playlist after all.

Nevertheless, you couldn’t help your mind from wandering and daydreaming all the way to the camping site, making it hard for you to focus on your duty as the designated human GPS.

You weren't sure if Changbin was right about you and Hyunjin having reached the 'internal jokes stage' yet, but you realised later that day that you had definitely reached some kind of complicity. You couldn't put your finger on when along the journey of the two of you growing closer it happened, but now your eyes would naturally lock whenever someone said anything slightly funny or even questionable. It was as if you wanted, needed, to share even the most minimal and mundane of things with each other.

And you hadn't noticed it was that obvious to everyone else until Hyejin pointed it out when you were setting up your tent later that afternoon. To say you were struggling a little bit was an understatement; it was a tent for three, and usually Minji was there to help set it up as well. You would definitely have some extra room that night.

Still, as focused on finding the correct corner of the fabric to stake it to the ground as she was, Hyejin managed to bring the topic up.

"So, what's going on with you and Hyunjin?"

"What do you mean?" you frowned, letting go of the fabric you were holding onto.

"Oh, come on, I'm not blind" she squinted her eyes. "Something definitely changed between you two".

"I mean, yeah, but…" you shrugged. “We’re just closer now, I guess”.

“I’ve seen the heart eyes, Y/N”.

“As if my heart eyes for him are anything new”.

“I meant his”.

You went silent, feeling your cheeks heat up and your hands shake. To have someone else notice it, too, only made it feel more real.

“You guys need help?” Felix interrupted before you could try and say anything back.

His arm was naturally resting over Hye’s shoulders, and although she visibly appreciated the offer, she settled for an obnoxious roll of eyes.

“We’re not damsels in danger” she playfully shoved his arm off.

Felix snorted. “Maybe not but you guys are clearly struggling here”.

“I could use some help” you admitted, getting a triumphant smile from Lix before he grabbed the fabric you had let go of a minute ago and began to stake it to the ground.

“But what about our girl talk” Hyejin pouted.

“Girl talk?” Felix looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

She nodded, and just like that his eyes went to you — realisation hitting him in a second.

“Let me guess, you guys are talking about Hyunjin”.

You nearly choked on air. “We're not”.

"We're not?" Hyejin teased you, receiving a glare from you in a heartbeat.

“Ah, you guys can go on then" Felix nodded understandingly, with a glimpse of a smirk curving up his lips. "I already know all about it anyway".

Hyejin raised both hands up in defense when your glare was once again on her. "Don't look at me, remember he's Hyunjin's best friend after all".

Lix's smirk was now on full display. "I know things neither of you two know".

"There's not much to know, though? Right?" you awkwardly fidgeted in your place. "Hyunjin doesn't talk about me, does he?"

Felix and Hyejin exchanged an incredulous look, deciding right then to just leave it there and let you figure it out on your own. They knew you well enough to know you wouldn’t believe any of it unless you heard it directly from Hyunjin; and maybe even then you would still doubt it all.

“Anyway,” Felix shrugged, going back to his previous task. “Let’s set this shit up”.

“Language!” Hyejin reprimanded him.

You laughed at the exchange, going over to Hyejin so you could work together while Felix focused on the other corner of your tent. Even though you could feel their stares on you, you were just glad the topic seemed to be over with.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Turned out that setting up a tent with Felix and Hyejin was just a call to be kicked out of it as soon as it was done, so they could take a nap inside and just like that make you their third wheel. Not like you really cared, for you took a blanket and placed it under one of the trees that were farther away from everyone. 

Lying down on it, you used your arms as a pillow while you looked up to the bright green leaves and the rays of sunshine peeking through them. You truly loved this camping site. It was quiet, with enough space for your entire group and the right amount of distance from other campers in the area.

The grass was green and abundant, the trees provided enough shadow for you not to go mad over how hot the summer weather was, and there was a lake only a five-minute walk from there. You would probably go there a little before the sun set; everyone seemed to be too immersed in their own activities to propose a walk to the lake anytime soon.

Seungmin and Jeongin were still setting up their tent, as they had been too busy whining about having to set it up before to actually do it. Chan, Han and Changbin were drinking and chatting the afternoon away, after having managed to clean up and put everything from your lunch away, since they had been chosen to be on cleaning up duty by a very fair game of rock, paper, scissors. Minho was lying on a blanket a few meters from you, scrolling through his phone. Felix and Hyejin were napping; and Hyunjin… you actually had no idea where Hyunjin was.

“Wanna go to the lake?”

As if reading your thoughts, there he was, kneeling on the edge of your blanket as he patiently waited for your answer.

You tilted your head up to look at him, still a bit stunned over both his timing and his suggestion. Nevertheless, you nodded, not having to think twice before you sat up.

“Are the others coming?”

“Nah,” he shrugged, standing up and giving you a hand to help you up as well. “They said they’re going later”.

“Shouldn’t we wait for them then?” you quietly asked.

Hyunjin brought a dramatic hand up to his chest. “If you don’t wanna be alone with me just say so”.

You scoffed, acting just as offended as he was. “That’s not what I said at all?!”

“Then?” he smiled, tilting his head in the lake’s direction.

Rolling your eyes while the biggest of smiles took over your face, you followed him. He knew the way to the lake by heart, you realised, as he seemed to avoid branches you wouldn’t have noticed were there if it weren’t for him dodging them before you. Although maybe it just had to do with the fact that you were too focused on him to pay attention to your surroundings.

After five minutes in which thankfully you made it out intact, you finally reached your destination. You smiled at the view of the crystalline water and the strong reflection of the sun on it, which you had to look away from in order not to be blinded. It looked the same as every other year, and a part of you was happy it remained the same throughout the time.

“Where are you going?” Hyunjin asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion when you started walking towards the water.

“To lie down?” you answered, in what had seemed like more of a question.

“Not here” he shook his head.

“Why not?”

“Minho and Changbin are fishing here later”.

“So?”

“So, you know how loud those two are when they get frustrated” he reminded you, walking over to you and taking your hand so he could drag you with him. “I came here to recharge”.

Too stunned over the unexpected feel of his strong yet soft hand holding yours, you didn’t even object. You simply let him take you whenever it was he wanted to take you to — heart eyes stuck to the back of his head as he led the way.

“Recharge?” you mocked him regardless.

"Yeah?" he said, as if it was obvious. "Don't you need time to be alone and recharge after being with too many people for too long?"

"It's not even dinner time yet".

"And I'm already drained".

You chuckled at his tiresome remark, but decided to just leave it at that when you reached a bunch of rocks that blocked the way.

“Where exactly are we going?” you wondered, confusedly letting go of his hand when he began to climb them.

"Come here" he called, reaching his hand out for you.

“You want to lay down on top of these rocks?” you questioned, taking his hand nonetheless and allowing him to help you up. “Like, the view might be better, but I’m pretty sure lying down on sand is way better than lying down on a bunch of hard as hell rocks”.

“Oh, hush,” he amusedly shut you up, placing a gentle hand to your back after having let you go first so he could make sure you wouldn’t slip —and that he would catch you in case you did—. “You just keep climbing up and shut that pretty mouth of yours”.

You shut your mouth; not because he told you to, but because his words sounded lovely —although taunting— enough to bring heat to your cheeks and make you forget how to speak altogether.

He could tell the way you were feeling, you realised when you heard a breathy laugh escape his mouth. He was enjoying it too much, but it was fair, considering he wanted to have that kind of effect on you.

Thankfully, the climb up the rocks wasn’t that high, otherwise the tension taking over while his hand remained on your back and his heavy breathing would faintly hit your shoulder every other second, might’ve become too overwhelming for you to survive.

As soon as you reached the top and took a seat to look around, you were confused. You weren’t sure exactly where it was that he wanted you to go to next or even where to look at once up there, so you just turned around to him with knitted eyebrows as he finished climbing up and took a seat next to you. However, after taking what felt like five seconds to catch his breath, he stood up.

“Okay, now let’s go down” he offered his hand once more to help you up.

“What? Like, to the same place we just came up from?”

He chuckled, amusedly shaking his head before he leaned down to grab your upper arm and help you up. “Will you just trust me on this?”

“I mean, you could be taking me to my deathbed right now and I wouldn’t even know”.

He rolled his eyes, carefully guiding you over to the other end of the rocks, so you could begin your two minutes journey down. “Everyone knows you’re with me right now, wouldn’t be really smart for me to murder you”.

“Reassuring” you smiled cynically, earning a throaty laugh from him and a light —actually reassuring— squeeze from his hand.

Without another word, you let him help you on your way down. It was cute how focused he was on making sure you wouldn’t have trouble with it and wouldn’t get hurt, to the point he tripped at one point; thankfully only right before you reached the safety of the ground, so it didn’t really matter.

"What even is this place?" you breathily let out, turning around to finally take a look at your surroundings.

It was only then that you realised what he had meant by ‘alone’ and ‘recharging’. The place he had taken you to seemed to be another shore within the same lake; a much smaller one, which could comfortably fit around five or six people at most.

The rocks formed some kind of fence around a few meters of the lake, which was tall enough to keep people from seeing what was on the other side, and which made most of them —you included— believe that was all there was to it: Just a bunch of rocks.

Only the curious ones who were willing to climb said bunch of rocks for no apparent reason, like Hyunjin, were privileged enough to discover such a gemstone.

"I don't even know, to be honest" Hyunjin laughed, walking up to the spot close to the water where one of the rocks blocked the sun and provided some shadow. "Found it the first time we came here. Minji and I were taking a walk and I felt like climbing all the way up the rocks and came across this place. I don't think anyone knows about it".

"Well, I surely didn't" you confirmed, looking around in awe. It almost felt cozy, like a small fort you would build as a child. "You and Minji did a pretty good job at keeping it from us".

"Oh, Minji doesn't know about it".

You stopped in your tracks, almost not believing your ears. "She… she doesn't?"

"Nope," he shrugged, sitting down on the sand and patting the spot next to him for you to do the same. 

When you hesitated, visibly having a hard time believing him, he sighed.

"Why'd you even believe I told her?"

"I mean… Wasn’t she with you?” you questioned, finally sitting down next to him.

He shook his head no. “She didn’t want to climb up with me. I mean, she was wearing a dress, so I guess it’s understandable” a chuckle abandoned his lips, and a bittersweet smile crept up in yours over the fact that he even remembered what she was wearing on the first day you ever came here years ago. “But yeah, I saw this place from all the way up and just kept it to myself. I could use some peace of mind during these trips”.

“You say it like we’re chaotic as hell” you laughed.

“Aren’t you?” he taunted.

You playfully shoved him away. “You should really include yourself in that sentence, Hwang Hyunjin”.

“Nah, I don’t think I belong there” he denied, having a hard time holding his smile. “Which is why I kept this place all to myself this far”.

You bit your lip, concealing a smile not to show how flattered you were to be the first and only person he had ever shared this place with — for not only had he told you about it, but he had taken it upon himself to pull you away from your group of friends and take you all the way here with him.

“Minji would be so mad if she ever found out you kept this from her…”

Hyunjin shrugged, resting his head on yours and making goosebumps form on your skin. “I don’t have to share everything with her”.

“She’s your best friend, though” you pointed out.

“So?” he asked, sitting up. “Do you share everything with Seungmin?”

You stayed quiet. He had a point. You did mainly share everything with him, from your achievements to your failures, and from your happiness to your sadness. But there were still a few things you kept to yourself, like the way you had felt about Hyunjin all along. Yes, he knew you had a bit of a crush on him, and he also knew you had grown closer since Minji left, but your actual feelings for the guy next to you, he had no idea about.

Your feelings for Hyunjin were something you had decided to keep to yourself and deal with on your own. There was too much at stake, and you wanted to believe you’d have enough control over the situation in case things went south. As long as you didn’t tell anyone, even if it was obvious in their eyes, you liked to believe you would be able to just forget about it all at the snap of your fingers.

Hyunjin nodded to himself at your silence — unaware of what was going through your mind yet knowing that just like that he had proven his point.

“Besides, she’s a blabbermouth. She would’ve told everyone else by now”.

You snorted, looking down for a moment to hold your laughter and missing the way his eyes lit up at the sight of you. "I'm telling her you called her that".

"Ugh, don't tell me I brought a snitch to my precious secret spot" he whined, dramatically resting his head on your shoulder. "Is that all, though?"

"Hm?" 

"I was supposed to tell her because she's my best friend?"

“No, but…” you stayed quiet for a moment, pondering whether you should say what was at the tip of your tongue or not. "It's just…"

"What is it?" he straightened up, furrowing his eyebrows as he waited for your answer.

"This is such a stereotypical making out spot".

He snorted, disbelief written all over his face. "What?"

"Yeah, like, think of all the couples that have found this place at some point and used it to do their thing".

"Ew," he cringed, glaring at you right after. "You did not just ruin my favourite spot for me".

"I'm just saying," you laughed, playfully shoving away the accusatory finger of his that was pointing at you. "This is like, the perfect making out spot to bring the person you have feelings for".

"I brought you, didn't I?"

Your cheeks were hit by a rush of heat instantly, and not even lowering your head helped you hide from him what his words had done to you.

"Stop…" you lightly shoved him away with your shoulder. "I guess it caught me off guard that you didn't bring her here at some point since you've always been in love with her".

"In love with her?" He looked incredulous; you just nodded. "I'm not, though?"

"Hyunjin…" you murmured, almost begging for him not try and fool you.

"I haven't always been in love with her…" he mumbled, looking down for a second before his eyes locked with yours. "Definitely am not in love with her anymore".

You smiled bittersweetly. "Right".

"I'm not, Y/N" he reassured you.

"Since when?" you wondered.

He said nothing — simply staring into your eyes was enough for you to have your answer.

Whatever was going on between the two of you was unspoken, recent, and therefore he couldn't give you a proper answer without having it turn out as a confession and risking scaring you away.

He wasn't confident enough to verbally confess the feelings he had caught for you this past month yet, but the sincerity in his eyes had managed to give you the answer you were looking for.

Since she left.

Since you and him grew closer together and something changed in the way he saw you.

"Is a month or so really enough to get over your best friend?" you mumbled.

"It's not like I was head over heels in love with her" he mindlessly played with the sand under his hands. "It was just… a little crush".

You laughed under your breath, shaking your head rather weakly as you laid your back on the sand — mentally scolding yourself for not having brought your blanket with you to lie down on.

A little crush. You should know about it. 

You were sure just a little crush wouldn't make him look at her the way he did, and it most definitely wouldn't have him unconsciously call her the most beautiful woman his eyes had ever seen.

But you were done arguing with him. In the end, it changed nothing — he did feel some type of way for her before she left; and even after she left, up until you had come up to change that now, apparently.

Besides, no matter how hard you tried to fight it, a part of you believed him. He looked at you different now. He acted different around you. And although you tried not to fall for it, deep down you knew it was already a lost battle.

Not knowing what to say nor what to feel about his advances, you closed your eyes. You could feel him staring at you for a while, yet you were too shy to acknowledge it, until he finally laid down next to you.

"Are we napping now?" Hyunjin asked, changing the topic after getting the hint about you no longer wanting to talk about the whole feelings thing.

"You said you wanted to come here to recharge, didn't you?" you smiled.

Although your eyes remained closed, you felt him smile brightly next to you. "And napping is your way of recharging?"

"Isn't it yours?"

"I just wanted to come here and spend some time with you, if I'm honest".

At that, you opened your eyes. Much to your surprise, his dark brown ones were already focused on you.

"Thank you…" you smiled sweetly.

He looked confused. "What for?"

"For trusting me with your precious secret spot" your choice of words had him rolling his eyes. "I won't tell anyone about it, I promise".

Hyunjin smiled, no longer being able to hold himself back and throwing an arm around your shoulders. You didn't fight back when he pulled you to his chest, if anything, you made yourself comfortable on it.

"In case it wasn't clear, even if you did tell someone, because I can’t really trust you with Seungmin,” his statement earned an incredulous scoff from you. “You're not allowed to come here with anyone else but me".

You chuckled, shaking your head and closing your eyes once more as you relaxed under his touch. "Would never even dream to betray you like that".

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

"What took you guys so long?" Chan asked as soon as you and Hyunjin arrived back.

The sun had already set a couple of minutes ago, and you were met with an already lit up bonfire while all your friends sat down around it.

You didn't even have the chance to play your late arrival off by silently sitting down until someone noticed you had finally made it back, for all their eyes were fixed on you since the second you reached your camping spot. Not even the few branches you had collected on your way back, to make it seem like you had wandered off together with the intention to collect some for the bonfire, would help you out of this situation.

Having everyone silently questioning you right then, you came to the conclusion that maybe taking a nap wasn't the brightest of your ideas — not when you were a proper five minute walk from your camping spot and hadn't set up an alarm to wake you up from the dream you were having in the arms of the person your heart felt most at peace with.

Hyunjin shrugged, refraining from giving them an actual answer as he nudged you to walk over to them and throw the thin pieces of wood you had collected into the fire, later taking a seat next to each other by it.

"You know what's funny?" Changbin spoke up next to you, with a hint of a smirk already showing on his face. "I'm pretty sure I saw them walking towards the lake, but when Minho and I got there later they were nowhere to be seen".

Once again, all eyes were on you. This time, though, you managed to see some dropped jaws.

"Did you guys get lost in the woods or something?" Han teased, rapidly moving his eyebrows up and down.

"I'm watching you, Hwang" Seungmin glared at him from the other side of the bonfire, earning a laugh from all of you.

Hyunjin raised both hands up, pleading innocence. "I did nothing".

"Did Y/N do something then?" Changbin teased.

You rolled your eyes, pressing a finger to your mouth "Quiet".

"Is that a yes?"

"Oh, my God" you whined, covering your face with both hands in embarrassment.

“Okay, okay. Leave the lovebirds alone” Hyejin came to your rescue — kind of.

“Have you guys had dinner yet?” you tried to change the subject.

“Nice save” Minho saluted you. “But no, we wanted to hang out here for a bit before. It got pretty cold”.

You nodded, silently. As if on cue, a light, cold breeze hit your body, making you hug yourself instinctively before you leaned closer to the fire and reached your hands out in hopes to get warmer.

Your eyes snapped back towards Hyunjin when you felt him leave your side, watching him go to the tent he was sharing with Lix and get something you could not quite tell apart from the distance, given how dark it was over there. When he got close enough to the bonfire again for you to see what he was holding, however, you smiled.

Before the words ‘thank you’ could even leave your mouth, he was placing a blanket over your shoulders and sitting down next to you. 

“Anyone else?” Hyunjin asked, holding out a spare blanket he had brought just in case.

“Me!” Hyejin raised her hand from three seats away, reaching for the blanket Hyunjin was now offering her and then throwing it around her body — in the matter of just one second managing to look like a burrito.

“Gotta step up your game, Felix” Han called him out, shaking his head in feigned disappointment.

“Fuck off” he glared at him, only for his girlfriend to laugh next to him and pull him into her embrace.

Felix smiled in adoration, resting his head on Hyejin’s while he made himself cozy under the blanket she had just shared with him.

“I just got called single in like five different languages” Han sulked.

You laughed at the scene playing in front of you. Well, mainly at Han and his antics, for you could only smile and stare in awe at the lovely couple cuddling right there. They were so happy. They had always been happy together, always so unproblematic, and you could only wish to ever be part of a relationship like that.

You didn’t want that with just anyone, though, and the fact that the person you wanted it with was sitting right next to you did not help your case at all. 

It was tough to be craving that much intimacy with someone who was right there, yet things weren’t clear enough between the two of you for you to just go for it.

You wanted to be able to do with Hyunijn what Hyejin had just done with Felix. You wanted to just rest your head on his shoulder and pull him into your embrace. You wanted to be close to him in every way possible, feeling his calm breathing next to you as you enjoyed the sight and warmth of the fire.

And maybe you were overthinking way too much, for sharing a blanket while camping was not that deep and it didn’t precisely have to mean anything, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to offer it to him, because, to you, it was that deep and it did mean something.

Silently staring at him as he had by now joined the new conversation you were not paying attention to, you felt your heart melt at the side view of his bright smile.

You didn't know how many minutes had gone by, but at one point you felt him shiver, and then lean towards the fire just like you had done before, as he looked for the warmth of it.

Looking down to the fluffy fabric hugging your body, you felt guilty to have taken his blanket when he clearly needed it too. You knew it was the chance you had been looking for to offer him to share it and that way cuddle him as platonically as you could, but after giving it a second thought you came to terms with the fact that you didn’t have enough courage to do so. Instead, you offered him the whole blanket.

“Huh?” Hyunjin questioned, taken aback when you took it off and handed it to him.

“You’re cold” you stated the obvious, motioning for him to take it.

“So are you” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but it’s your blanket”.

Hyunjin stayed silent for a couple of seconds, eyes going from you to the blanket in your hands and so on. Then, as if a lightbulb had just been lit up above his head, he smiled.

Taking the blanket from your hands, he threw it over your backs, making sure you’d hold onto the other end before he made himself cozier next to you.

“We can share”.

You bit your lip, lowering your head not to show the effect his actions had once more had on you. How could he make it look so simple? Just throw a blanket over your bodies, pull you closer and then say that you could share, like it was nothing?

A part of you was worried he would feel your heartbeat racing, even though your arm was the one leaning against him and not your chest. It was just beating that hard, and you grew even shyer when your eyes locked with Seungmin’s. Somehow, you felt like one look at you and Hyunjin snuggling up —if you could call it that— was all it took for him to figure everything out.

The crush you had told him about months ago, only then was confirmed right in front of his eyes not to only be one simple crush. And most definitely not a one sided one, like you had claimed it was back then.

“Something wrong?” Hyunjin asked quietly, leaning in towards your ear for only you to hear.

You shook your head no, smiling softly before turning your head to him. “Everything’s fine”.

Perfect, actually.

Hyunjin nodded, moving closer to you and hesitatingly bringing his hand up to hover your back. “Is it okay if I…”

Catching on with his intentions when he lightly tapped your back, you hummed in affirmation; tensing up for a second over the unknown feel of his hand on your waist, before you relaxed under his gentle, loving touch. You were nervous, of course, but it would've been odd for you not to ultimately feel at ease when his thumb began to draw small circles on the curve of your waist.

Maybe you got too carried away, or maybe you simply stopped worrying too much, but you found yourself resting your head on his shoulder — not even having time to doubt your own actions before his head was resting on yours.

As cliché as it was, you wished that moment would last forever. It felt so natural, like your head belonged on his shoulder and his hand belonged on your waist. Like you belonged together.

Your friends had silently agreed on not teasing you anymore; just carrying on with the conversation as if seeing you together like that was by now a daily occurrence.

Hyunjin pulled you closer, and with his lips faintly brushing the crown of your head, you began to doze off.

His phone buzzing in his pocket managed to stop you from falling asleep completely. However, he, too, was so immersed in the comfort your touch and warmth brought him, that he didn't even feel it moving directly against his body.

"Your phone" you quietly brought it to his attention.

"What?"

"Your phone's buzzing" you clarified, lightly pressing your legs to his so he could take a hint.

"Oh, right" he finally got it, earning a small laugh from you as he reached into his pocket and took his phone out. "It's Minji".

You couldn't help it, but your body tensed up.

"Minji?" Han asked quite eagerly.

"Isn't it like six A.M. over there?" Hyejin's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Hyunjin shrugged. "She's Facetiming, hold on".

Watching him sit up straight and fix his hair right before taking the call, you moved slightly away from him, putting some distance in between the two of you. That small action of yours didn't go unnoticed by Hyunjin, but he decided to say nothing. It must've been nothing after all, right?

"Hey!" He greeted her cheerfully as soon as her face was on the screen.

"Hello~" Minji answered rather cutely. Your stomach twisted. "How's everyone?"

"Everyone's okay, they're all here, actually" Hyunjin let her know.

That simple statement was all it took for your seats to be taken over by all your friends — all ten of you trying your best to fit on the small screen that Hyunjin was struggling to keep as far as possible from his face, so that everyone could have a look.

Staring at your friend through the screen, you could tell she was just waking up. She was at the other side of the world, after all. But even then, when her hair was still messy and her face was completely bare, she managed to look as endearing as ever. 

She looked happy. Tired, of course, given what time it was over there, but happy nonetheless. That same welcoming smile you knew so well was still intact, even while she was being attacked with questions from the entire friend group.

You tried your best not to look at Hyunjin all throughout the conversation. You knew it wouldn't do you any good to see him looking at her — not when you already knew the oh-so-special way he did. That one look in his eyes he only had when it came to her.

You also tried your best not to think of how usual these video calls were. They were best friends, for fucks sake, and they were half a world apart from each other on top of that. If it were you and Seungmin, you knew you'd be calling on a daily basis.

But Hyunjin and Minji were different. And the selfish part of you didn't want to think he was Facetiming her every single day when that seemed to be your thing now.

As stupid as you knew it was, you couldn't stop your head from hurting right then; all because of your own intrusive thoughts.

"We miss you!" Han shouted.

"Yeah, you should call the whole group more often" Chan accused her.

"Oh my God, you should show us around the filming set sometime" Felix excitedly requested. 

"Have you met any celebrities?" Jeongin asked.

And the fact that everyone was talking so loudly and eagerly to the phone, as if its microphone wasn't working or something, was definitely not helping your abrupt headache.

"One by one, people. Please" she joked. "I miss you all so much and I will get to you in a minute, but I called Jinnie, so…"

"She said priorities," Minho joked with a roll of eyes. "Let's leave before our dignity hits rock bottom, guys".

Chuckling at his salty remark and watching everyone stand up so they could either go back to their seats or straight up go somewhere else after the bonfire bonding had been interrupted, you hesitated for a moment. Ultimately, however, you stood up too — not being able to decipher the look Hyunjin gave you when you were no longer sitting next to him, and your end of the blanket remained unattended.

Without much thought, you went to the place that felt the most familiar and, therefore, the most comfortable — Seungmin. He was back on his previous seat, mindlessly scrolling through his Twitter feed when you took a seat beside him.

He didn't even budge when you placed your head on his shoulder, silently reading whatever Tweet he decided to stop at. 

"You should've brought the blanket" he said plainly when a breeze of cold air hit your bodies, eyes not leaving his phone. "It's cold".

You snorted. "It's Hyunie's blanket. You can go get another one to your tent if you're that cold".

"Just go ask your boyfriend for it, he's giving it to you in a heartbeat".

Your jaw dropped at his nonchalant statement, not minding holding back when you pushed him with both palms and almost made him fall off his chair.

"You're a menace" he accused you, holding onto your upper arm for dear life.

"You started it" you defended yourself.

"Just go get a blanket!" He motioned towards his tent.

"It's your tent, you go".

"Fine! But I swear to God I won't be shar—"

"Um…" Hyunjin's low voice brought your attention to him.

He was awkwardly standing in front of you, folded blanket in his hands while his eyes travelled from you to Seungmin, almost as if pondering his next move.

In the end, they focused on Seungmin.

"You think you can, um…" he nervously cleared his throat. "Leave us to it for a bit?"

Your heart skipped a beat, and your eyes fixed on Seungmin, who was already squinting his eyes in your direction.

The things he had to do for you and the sake of your romantic life.

Standing up without another word and with a quick glance to Hyunjin, he went over to Jeongin and Chan, who were busy chugging two of the beer cans you had no idea were there to begin with. Next to them was Hyejin, who was now holding Hyunjin’s phone as you supposed she was the next to talk to Minji one-on-one.

You frowned. You would’ve thought Minji’s conversation with Hyunjin would go on for ten minutes at least. Had it only been two minutes? Three at most?

Hyunjin took a seat next to you, placing the blanket around your body. His hands remained on your shoulders, tenderly massaging them before he rested his head on yours. You pouted, leaning into his body and burying your face on the crook of this neck.

"Why'd you leave?" he asked.

You shrugged, unintentionally tickling his neck and making goosebumps show up on his skin.

"Hm?" he pushed it, gently nudging you.

"Didn't wanna interrupt" you replied quietly.

"Interrupt?"

"Yeah, like… Minji called you, so…"

"She just wanted to tell me about what happened at the studio today and the instructions the director was giving, you know, to give me some tips since I aim to get there at some point".

You smiled weakly, being reminded of how even when it came to their careers they were a better fit than you and him. An actress and a film producer. It was a match made in Heaven.

"It's not like we were talking about anything top secret" he tried to reassure you when you wouldn't reply.

"No, but…" you sighed. "I don't know".

“Tell me”.

“It would’ve just… We were being way too cozy, and she was watching, I didn’t want to have her think that we’re—you know…”

Hyunjin frowned, looking down to his fidgeting hands on his lap. “But we are, though… Aren’t we?”

You looked up at him in surprise, and he could feel his heart flutter at the sight of your shining, incredulous eyes.

“We are?” you asked in a whisper.

“Do you…” he bit his lip, silently looking for the right words. “Do you really think I’m in love with her?”

You shrugged, sitting up and leaning away from him.

“Y/N…”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, it’s always been so obvious”.

“It was nothing, though”.

You snorted at that, shaking your head in disbelief while you focused on one of the trees in front.

“I mean it,” he reassured you, cupping your chin and guiding your face in his direction, giving you no choice but to look at him and feel your breath get caught in your throat over how little distance separated your face from his. “Whatever silly crush I had on her is gone by now”.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me”.

“But I do,” he disagreed. “I do need to explain myself if it’s gonna jeopardize my relationship with you”.

“R-Relationship?” you whispered again, this time almost inaudibly.

"I mean, not like—I know we don't," he panicked, and you couldn't help but smile ever so faintly at the way his eyes opened wider than usual and his cheeks became a bright pink. "I'm just—in the future maybe, like…"

"Like…" you trailed off, giving him the little push he needed to go on.

Hyunjin took a deep breath. His hands were no longer cupping your face, but nervously shoved into his pockets instead. Suddenly, he had lost all the sudden confidence he previously had when it came to making it clear to you that he no longer wanted anything to do with Minji.

But he wanted things to be clear between the two of you. He wanted you to know that whatever it was he once felt for her, was now gone.

He wanted you to know he wanted you.

So, earning back every ounce of confidence he once had, he took his hands out of his pockets and held yours in them — his thumbs ever so tenderly caressing your soft skin, staring at them with the softest of smiles before his eyes went back up to your already elated ones.

“I like you, Y/N” he confessed. “I really, really like you".

"You do?" you murmured, not believing your ears.

"Mhm…" he nodded, feeling shyness hit him like a truck all over again yet refusing to let it take control over him. "I want to give us a try, I want to be with you, and… I just, I don’t want you to believe I'm stuck on Minji when I'm not".

You looked down to your lap and simply nodded, silently — visibly enough for him to know you heard him, yet not confidently enough for him to think you trusted him.

Everything he had just said was exactly what you wanted to hear. He wanted to be with you. Not her, you. He liked you, and wanted to give your relationship a try. Then why was your gut not allowing you to feel as happy as you should be?

"Can you please say something?" he whispered, nervously biting on his bottom lip.

"I, I don't…"

"You don't like me back?" he assumed; defeat clear in his eyes.

"No, I do!" you clarified embarrassingly fast, not even getting to feel ashamed about it after seeing the way his whole face lit up. "I do. I do like you".

He laughed under his breath, blissfully — thumbs still drawing circles in the palms of your hands, only this time it felt playful.

"What's stopping us then?" Hyunjin asked.

You shrugged, letting out a sigh as you looked up to the sky. "It's not even been two months since she left…"

He sighed heavily, cupping your face with one of his hands and making you look at him once more. "I know it seems like too little time, but I fell so hard so fast for you, Y/N. I can't even understand it either, but I did".

"What about when she comes back…"

"Does it matter?" He tilted his head in confusion. "I'll be with you, nothing's gonna change".

"She's coming back in five months," you pointed out, a small smirk curving up your lips. "You really think we'll last that long?"

Hyunjin giggled, resting his forehead on yours and smoothly pulling you closer to him by firmly placing a hand on your back.

"I think we'll last longer than that, actually".

That did it for you. Those confident words coming out of his mouth, his lips only inches from yours and his strong hand on your back, were all it took for you to shut down every rational part of your mind and to let your heart take over instead.

You wanted to be with him, and he wanted to be with you. So what if he used to have feelings for your mutual friend; it didn’t have to be so complicated.

And maybe, in the long run, that had been your biggest mistake. Pushing all your worries aside and just diving into your feelings for him. Rushing into things. Letting go of your inhibitions that night and never looking back from a decision you made in the heat of the moment.

Your biggest mistake was forgetting about the reason you were sitting all the way across from your previous seats around the bonfire to begin with, and why Hyunjin had come up to you in order to comfort you and reassure you of the way he felt for you.

The reason of all your insecurities was currently at the other side of the world, and Hyunjin was all the way over here with you. It was just that easy to forget about your concerns when the cause of them was nowhere near. Especially when the person your heart was crazy about was holding you so close.

Chuckling at those words that had made you risk it all, you placed your hands on his chest and softly nuzzled his nose. "You think so?"

"What, you wanna bet?" He challenged with a raised eyebrow.

You shook your head no immediately, as a laugh escaped your throat. And with each shake of your head, you moved closer to him — until there was no more space between your mouths, and your puckered lips were softly pressing on his receptive ones.

They felt just like everything you had ever dreamed of, but better. They tasted sweet, just like him; and they somehow felt even softer and plumper than they looked.

With your heart speeding up in such a way you had not felt in so long, you pulled away, feeling your cheeks burn up while your face remained buried in his neck in a poor attempt to hide from what you had just done.

"Oh, no. No," he warned you, tilting his head towards your hidden face and placing his hand on your neck — gently, yet strong enough to manage to make you look up at him. "You don't get to kiss me and then pull away before I get a proper taste of you".

His lips were trapping your bottom one before you could even register his words. He pulled you in closer, hand travelling from the back of your neck to the side of it, so that he could hold you still while his thumb was faintly pressing on your throat. 

He deepened the kiss in no time, tilting his head to the side right as his tongue traced your bottom lip for you to open up. Once you did, he was greatly met by yours in the middle — tenderly massaging each other for a brief moment, before you focused back on sucking and teasing your needy lips.

"Did this answer your question?" he whispered against your mouth.

Too far gone in the sensation of his addictive lips on yours and the way his hot breath hit your mouth as it mixed with your own, you struggled to find your voice. "W-What even was the question?"

Hyunjin giggled, louder this time. Both hands cupped your cheeks, and his thumbs tickled your bottom lip as they faintly traced it. "You're so cute".

You looked down, not being able to hold his stare after hearing such a statement come out of his swollen, pink lips. Hyunjin laughed under his breath at the sight of it, planting a soft kiss on your forehead before he pulled you into his arms and fixed the blanket that was sliding down your shoulders.

"Are you two lovebirds done exchanging saliva?" Minho asked from the table a few meters away, mindlessly opening a red cooler.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, and you shyly buried your face in the crook of his neck like it was oh-so-natural by now.

"Is that a yes?"

"What do you need?" you reluctantly gave in.

"You're literally the only person apart from me who knows how to properly fillet a fish, so…"

You sighed, sitting up and giving Hyunjin a lingering, apologetic look before you stood up.

"I can help, too" he stood up immediately after you, leaving the blanket by your chairs and following behind you.

"I actually need your help chopping the veggies" Hyejin caught him by his t-shirt before he could even reach your side.

"But I can help Y/N cut th—"

"You don't even know how to cut a fish" Hye mocked him.

"No, but—"

"Just give it up, lover boy" Seungmin shut every hope of his down, placing a firm hand on his shoulder and dragging him with them to the other end of the table. "Come join those of us on veggies duty, Y/N's not going anywhere".

Throwing one last glance your way and watching you fold up your sleeves right before you got to helping Minho, Hyunjin smiled. He wished you weren't interrupted because of veggies and fish duty, and therefore you could still be sitting down by the bonfire, all alone, making out like he then realised he was desperate to.

But Seungmin was right. You were not going anywhere. For as long as he stayed by your side, and for as long as he made you feel safe enough in your relationship, you would stay.

For as long as you knew he was yours and you were his, you were not going anywhere. And he planned to keep it that way, so there was truly nothing for him to worry about, right?

tag list: @brinnalaine @slut4colinbridgerton @sherryblossom @svintsandghosts @phenomenalgirl9 @meloncremesoda @jxcesstuff @nhyunn @armystay89 @mal-lunar-28 @143hyunes @seungminstaehyun @cutiespaghetti @chaotic-world-of-the-j @its-me-hyunjin @kwanisms @hyunfruits

[mioyeo]

Watch your back: Chapter 8

Once you don’t value what you have someone else learns how to take care of what used to be yours

Synopsis : 8 men supposed to give her all the love they promised end up leaving her behind without a valid reason

Pairing : girlfriend Reader x PolyAteez !

Warning : this chapter contains mentions of, arguing with Rin , missing deceased parent , lots of crying , confessions ( at the end ) , miscarriage , uncontrolled drinking of alcohol, Hongjoong being a big liar , Y/n looking a mess , jumping off a cliff etc Please reminding me if I forgot something

Tag list : @legbouk , @scarfac3 , @m4rsluv , @hcyaa , @jackinmyarea, @layzfeelit, @loverlele , @mulletjoonsupremacy , @veneziamadness , @belle643 , @gugggu6gvai , @atinytinaa , @voidcupidz , @atinyreads , @baguette-atiny , @parkthothwa8 , @hwadump , @owjohny , @miaatiny , @honeyymon

Word count: 2,2k

Y/n was currently at a Donation center where she'd be donating all the clothes she once had bought for her now lost child to the first time mommy's

It was nerve wrecking for her to see all the Young mothers and their babies while she wouldn't be able to hold hers anymore

" It's alright , you're doing the right thing "

The elder woman smiled rubbing her back encouraging her to deliver the box to the other ladies that where checking out the clothes conditions

" It's just that I felt overwhelmed kinda "

She smiled softly and finally got the courage to hand over her box and leave after saying goodbye

As the girl walked along side the road , tears suddenly fell from her eyes automatically making the ones passing her pity and ask themselves why she was crying on such a beautiful bright sunny day

They wouldn't understand if she tried to explain how hard it was to let go of the things she bought while being exited

Not the typical excitement because she was gonna be a mommy

But the excitement because she'd have someone to love dearly and nurse them until they left her to love someone else just like they where loved by her

Y/n wiped her tears chuckling at the thought that she probably looked insane crying and laughing at the same time

" Y/n ! i haven't seen you in a while my dear "

The market lady She frequently visited for her amazing fried chicken shouted waving her over as she smiled

" Oh my , I'm so sorry I haven't passed by lately I've been going through some thing's but I'm getting better now "

She smiled hugging the lady that immediately kissed jher cheek and stuffed her mouth with some chicken making her smile

" I've missed you too Mrs.Kim "

She chewed on the food before waving and left after they had a small talk

Going up the stairs she put in the code and walked inside her home taking off the shoes

" Where were you ? "

Hongjoong asked as he was sitting on the couch with San that didn't even look at her

“ I went to Donate the clothes I had bought for little Sanie to first time mommy's that couldn't afford to buy clothes or other stuff for their newborns "

She smiled softly and sat down beside him

" I'm proud of you for letting go "

Hongjoong said smiling sympathetically

"I had to do it sooner because I didn't want to create an unhealthy attachment with the things so I donated them "

She laid her head on his shoulder as he kissed her forehead

" Where are the others anyway? "

" They left to do groceries and Jongho went to get his teeth checked  with Mingi "

She grimaced just thinking about the pain

" Also we are having dinner with our parents to finally introduce Rin to them "

Y/n looked up at him with brows furrowed

" So get dressed up because Yeosang's Mom insists for you to come since she hasn't seen you in a long while "

The teen couldn't help but smile

" But don't overdress so that you don't steal Rin's spotlight tonight , it wouldn't be fair if the eyes were only on you tonight "

Hongjoong stood up and left towards his studio leaving both San and Y/n with an awkward silence

Not being able to handle sitting there she stood up and went to her room and look for an outfit

————

" Hwa ! do I look pretty ? "

Rin twirled as she came down showing off her dark blue dress with a cut on the back

" It's pretty "

He didn't even really look at her since he was on his phone texting his dad

" You didn't even look at me baby "

She pouted and grabbed him by his suit

" Where's Mingi ? "

" He's with Y/n helping her zip up her dress "

Wooyoung said as he sat on the couch fixing his hair

" I don't just think that they're simply fixing her dress it's been more than ten minutes "

Just as Yunho spoke both of them walked down the hall

" No need to rush , her other dress wouldn't zip up so she changed into this "

Mingi who was practically matching her in his black suit said as he held her by the waist and guided her towards the door as everyone got out

" You sure it was just a change of clothes? "

Hongjoong eyed him annoyed since he saw some her lip gloss on his lips shimmering

"Don't you see his lips? They've been making out while we waited she's trying to ruin my night with your parents "

The younger scoffed making Y/n look at her unbothered

" You're not that special for me to steal whatever night you think you own "

" Y/n enough "

" You're just Jealous  that they care more about me than they care about you "

Rin turned around her seat and glared at Y/n

" Oh please, these eight men were mine first , I have already claimed every single one of them and the little attention you're getting doesn't face me at all it's the bare minimum  compared to what they give me "

" Please if they oh so loved you why would they get a second girlfriend then ? "

She chuckled cocking her brows looking at the now burgundy haired Y/n who laughed

" My love I don't know what to tell you other than it's none of my concern "

" Girls enough this is supposed to be a happy night for all of us "

Seonghwa sighed as he glared through the front mirror

" a happy night for me ? What will I gain from this Park ? seeing you guys enjoy showing her off while I just sit there and smile pretty like daddy's girl ? Is that what you want me to be doing all night long ?  "

" Calm down you're killing the mood and we haven't even started yet "

Jongho squeezed her thighs glaring at her so she could stop

" I don't know about you guys but I'm just here because Yeosang's mom wants to see me "

Y/n sighed making Yeosang look at her funny

" When has my mom said that ? "

" I was told that your mom wanted to see me since we haven't met in a while "

" If she had said that I would've known but that's not the case , I don't know who told you that but don't lie on my moms name "

He looked at her kinda irritated

After Yeosang's words hit her she looked outside biting her lips to calm down

" You could've stayed at home I don't even know why you're here "

Jongho mumbled but forgot he was a bit loud

" Alright just get out and stop talking we're here and behave "

Everyone pilled out the car leaving Y/n sitting there as she continued to bite her inner lips with closed eyes

"When you get over your tantrum lock the car "

Seonghwa threw the car keys onto her lap and left going inside the restaurant

Tears of anger suddenly left her eyes as she bawled her fists and screamed loudly

Why would Hongjoong lie to her ?

What was the point of him telling her that Yeosang's mom wanted her to come when she clearly never said that  ?

The only things that angered her was that he made her look like a fool in front of everyone else but was glad that it didn't actually happen in front of Yeosang's family and everyone else's parents, because if that did happen she would die from embarrassed right there

The girl wiped her tears and sat there for another twenty minutes debating on if she wanted to go or not

On the end she decided to get off the car and walk in after fixing her make up

" Wait , miss do you have any reservations? "

" Yes I'm actually here to meet up with the family of my boyfriend's "

" Name please ?"

" Y/n , you'll find me under my boyfriend's name Choi Jongho or Jeong Yunho  "

The guard checked the list while looking up at he kinda suspicious

" These names are indeed on the list but im sorry I can't seem to find you on here "

He cleared his throat and waved for guards to come over

" No but , there must be a mistake can you please look again? "

" I'm not blind and neither do I have the time to handle  this madness I don't get payed enough for this crap "

He scoffed and signaled for them to wait as Y/n looked at him in disbelief

" I don't get enough love to be here either , you know what ? give The guy named Park Seonghwa his car keys and tell him that im off the map for tonight "

She threw the keys on the table and left

" Thank you this is just what I needed "

The girl groaned as the heavy rain started pouring on her making the dress stick to her body

She couldn't understand what their problem against her was

All she ever did was love them with all she had

But apparently that was all just a waste of her time

Y/n started to doubt that all the I love you's where real

Or anything that included them loving her

She felt limp and cold as the rain kept pouring down on her

Nothing hurt more than being lied to and made a fool of

Turning around the corner she walked into a a small store all messed up, her once beautiful makeup was ruined and so was her hair making the cashier look at her surprised

Y/n looked around and ended up at the liquor section sighing as she grabbed a big bottle off Vodka even though she hesitated for a good minute

Starring at the bottle she finally went to the cashier to pay

" Is everything ok miss ? "

The young girl who registered the things looked at her once again tilting her head

" Not really but that's how life is "

" Can I see your ID please "

She showed  her ID and payed for the stuff

" I don't know what you're going through but please cheer up everything is going to get better it will take time so please don't worry "

" Sweetheart, don't you ever enter a poly relationship it will slowly destroy you "

She grinned and left after making the young cashier confused

Wandering the streets of Seoul , Y/n didn't really know were she was going but one thing she knew was that she was going to keep walking until she couldn't anymore

Opening the strawberry flavored alcoholic drink she chugged on it carelessly as if it was juice even thought it was burning her throat

" What did I do wrong Mom ? "

She cried out as she sat down on a bench looking up at the sky

" Can't I just be with you again? "

Tears streamed down as she felt herself getting drunk because of the amount of alcohol she already consumed

" I wish I never left you , I wish I had spend more time with you on those sleepless nights "

Looking onto the water that glistened because of the moonlight made her feel like being hugged my someone but yet so empty at the same time

The Han river looked so pretty on night time which did comfort her for a little

" What did I do wrong ? Am I not pretty enough ? Am I getting fat ? "

She pulled out her phone and opened the camera seeing her face

A complete disaster  , Make up all smeared ,  her hair a mess , lips all smudged

It all make her bawl out more tears as she told herself how pathetic she looked and eventually stood up and laughed at her own misery

Walking up to the railing she stared down onto the cold looking water

A huge feeling of comfort but at the same time the loneliness always seemed to come back

Y/n climbed up the railing and sat on it taking a deep breath shaking

She wanted to give up , every single memory came flashing through her mind

Maybe the only way out for her was to leave completely

" Hey …. ,  I know you were probably mad at me earlier and I'm sorry , I just wanted to wish you all the best with Rin treat her better than you've ever treated me and give her lots of love , I've always wanted to be loved but it didn't seem like I could really get that from you guys lately and it's ok because I did get my fair share of happy moments these past four to five years , I myself admit that I am indeed a pathetic little baby like Yunho said that cries over everything and  I wish I could help it but just seeing how you love someone else more just hurts me , I felt so bad that night you guys had Rin move in with us I cried so hard for the first time while looking in the mirror , I just felt left out by you guys , I thought I've always held a special place in that house but it seems like I'm not the spark you need to function anymore , I didn't mean to talk for three minutes but I just wanted to give my last goodbyes before I leave, Thank you for the beautiful experience of being loved "

She pressed send and waited for the two check marks to appear  taking a deep breath

And finally jumped

[merlinfic]

group ask for lost fics #45

Hi y’all! Below are a few lost fics that us mods just can’t seem to find. That being said, we’re hoping that you lovely followers are able to help! If anyone knows any of the fics below please reply below if you know of a fic!

Note: previous group asks and all lost fics!

Anon 1 asked:

I’ve looked for this particular fic for a long time now, but it was a modern day Christmas fic in which Merlin and Arthur are together and Uther disapproves <<>> I can’t quite remember specifics other then Arthur being jelly of Merlin dating someone else? Or something to that effect anyway long story short they wind up together in the end and Uther gets past his bias X’D I’m sad to see you guys go, but I’m so grateful for all the fic recs that have been left <33333

Anon 2 asked:

hi! thank you so much for all your hard work over the years and helping to keep this fandom alive, ive got a lost fic. i dont remember much but there was a noble of some kind who was mistreating servants and he tried to mistreat gwen and merlin stepped in for her and then arthur came to save the day. thank you !! <3

miraniel asked:

Combed all the tags I could think of & still can't find this fic, worried it's deleted: Merlin, Gwen & Gwaine r captured by bandits/minions looking for Emrys. Merlin casts a protection spell on Gwen before they're caught. Evil sorcerer tries to take Emrys's power by absorbing it into a (staff? crystal?) but absorbs Merlin's soul too. Rest of fic is about getting M's soul back in his body. At one point, he & Arthur share a body. I think Kilgarrah fixes them in the end. Ty SO much! Love this blog!

Anon 3 asked:

hello! do you perhaps know what fic those quotes are from? do you know how much i love you? do you know that i would do anything for you, anything at all? crown and kingdom and anything ever promised to me, i’d give it up, i’d give it all up—tell me, do you know? / and arthur loves him, he loves him so much that he fears his chest will splinter open and spill all of it into the space between them.

Anon 4 asked:

there was this fic i read some while back where merlin was a royal, and arthur and merlin were like bffs. i think arthur was the head knight?? there was a particular scene were merlin got a dragon tattoo on his back. i wonder if you might know which fic this is? thank u so much

the-tortoise-lady asked:

Hi :D I adore you people!! I'm looking for a fic set in Camelot, where Merlin is hurt (I think it was something with his leg? Not sure tho) and then Arthur spends a lot of time with Merlin, caring for him a bit? And there's one moment I remember when he's reading to Merlin and they're all cuddled up on some sort of sofa and there's a lot of emotions and feels? And fire in the fireplace? It's definitely Merlin/Arthur I think, I guess there also were some love confessions? I just sadly can't seem to find it.. I know that I read it on ao3 I hope you can find it (no pressure tho please!!) Lots of love and appreciation and a big thank u from me :)

Anon 5 asked:

Hi, I hope you have a nice day :) I've scoured the internet and also your page for this specific fanfic that I read a while back. Essentially Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic and holds him at swordpoint. They stand right next to a cliff and Merlin startles which makes him fall off. Merlin then discovers his own immortality, when he wakes up at the bottom of the cliff. But him being kept alive does not mean he is healed of his injuries. He puts himself back together for months down there if I remember correctly. The druids show up to help at a certain point I think. Please help me, I loved that fic so much :(

thelady-mary asked:

Hello, I just wanted to say that I'll miss this blog DEARLY and everything you guys did here, it means a lot to me, truly. Ok, so I've ADHD and I can't describe things for shit so I'll put the fanfic I'm looking for as a list. 1- it was some sort of 5+1 type, with multiple chapters, I remember that includes some jealousy and he knows about the magic. It was like Arthur was learning little things about Merlin that he started to love. 2- the things that he learn (and what I remember) was: Merlin's body hair grows really fast and he said that Gaius believe it was an outlet for his magic, they're traveling and M forgot his blade (the thingy that shaves beard) and he has this beautiful beard and long wavy hair by the end of the week, when they come back A is occupied with stuff and didn't saw M all day, but at the end he's back with short hair again saying that Gwen and George helped him with his chores so he could get a hair cut and shave; also A talks about how he recently learn that dyes are expensive and wants to know how M have such a colourful wardrobe and he says he only have two tunics because his mom helped a merchant out once and he gave her two pieces of fabric with she made the tunics and his neckerchiefs; Merlin knows how to write beautifully, calligraphy and all, M gets sick in this part and they communicate via little notes send it via George who told A that he was hesitaning into giving him M's note on the beginning because he thought it was improper, A keeps one that says "I believe in you" because he needs it emotionally; Merlin can compose music and he did compose and wrote an entire play (or just one song, I don't remember much), he dedicated one song to Arthur. 3- Arthur makes an announcement talking about love and union, looking directly at Merlin, hoping that he would understand that it was more or less about his feelings for him. 4- the song dedicated to Arthur it was about a Knight falling in love with his servant (and I believe running away with him, but don't quote me on that) 5- Arthur believes that the song is about Lance and Merlin's relationship, since is about a knight and not a King, and decided to go after him thinking his heart belongs to another. 6- Merlin confess that he wrote the song dedicated to him and ask what he thought about it, but Arthur is still under the wrong assumption and says that he liked the "song about the boat" better. 7- Merlin is devastated and I remember Arthur seeing him with Lancelot, with him giving him comfort 8- I don't remember how, but they confess to one another and have a little fight over the song part. And this is all I remember, I'm sorry if is really big or even impossible, but I'm desperate.

Anon 6 asked:

Hello! First of all, thank you for the years you've spent helping so many of us with finding fics, it really is very appreciated. Now, I've been wondering whether to ask or not for help with finding this fic for a while, but knowing you're going to soon close it up made me get over my shyness and just ask. The fic has Gwaine, Merlin and Arthur out doing... Something, and Merlin is forced to use his magic. Gwaine takes the fall, and Arthur banishes him to the nearby kingdom. I specifically remember Gwaine hugging Merlin and making him notice thar Arthur only drew out his sword after thinking it wasn't Merlin the sorcerer. The next part (I can't remember if it was a new chapter or a new part, sorry) has Arthur needing a sorcerer's help to decurse a land, I think, so the the knights of the round table all go to retrieve Gwaine. He and Merlin try to keep the lie up a bit, but then the truth comes out. That's all I remember, I hope it's enough. Thank you a

As always, this post will be updated if/when any fics are found!

[hualian-fic-recs]

I'm alive/Fanfic Asks

Hey sorry I've been silent for so long. To be completely honest, Hualian and tgcf aren't the only types of fanfic I read, so I go down rabbit holes with other pairings for a while.

Anyway, I've been sitting on some asks for a while hoping I could answer them one day, but alas. I am turning them over to the public to see if others can help!

@nostalgiatyrant asks:

Hi again 👋 Im looking for another fic, but this time, the description comes from a friend. They said that “after the altar scene wu ming takes care of xie lian as he heals. Xie lian is like traumatized and dazed mostly so wu ming is doing his best commanding weaker ghosts and etc” It was a tweet, in case you haven’t seen it, and tbh, I love this idea so much— if you find any fics like it at all Id love to read them

Maybe: For you, I'll become invincible by HanaSheralHaminail. 177k, M, WIP. all the spoilers

Maybe: no light, no light by NeithOfTheVeil. 11k, T, spoilers

Maybe: A Long and Slow Recovery by ardenrabbit. WIP

@sineofu asks:

Hello , can you recommend m some fics where the heavenly official realise that hua Cheng have returned or a fic timed after his return. Thank you

anonymous asks:

Is there any fanfics where like the puqi villagers think that they are single and something happens?

anonymous asks:

Can u tell me if there is any hualian Spiderman au fics?? I saw a few fanarts and fell in love with them.

@uwuchengsbab asks:

Do you know any fics where Hua Cheng prays to Xie Lian before his 3rd ascension (during those 800 years) and Xie Lian hears him? Something angsty with a happy ending? I’ve already read what faith provides by parsnipit and it kinda sounds like falling in love by FlowerCitti but was wondering if you knew more?

Maybe: Dearly Departed by IlluminatingSceadugenga. WIP

@bri-bri1222 asks:

I was wondering if there are any fice where HC and XL are in a DDLB relationship and just filled with cuteness and fluff.

anonymous asks:

There's this Hualian fanfic I've never been able to find no matter what. I don't know if the tags are obscure or what. But the premise is that Xie Lian is cursed or to relive his worst injury over and over again at random moments and therefore the Hundred Swords wounds opens on his body unexpectedly and suddenly. The story is very hurt/comfort between Hualian and Hua Chrng looks after him and heals him. A plot point is that it happens in front of Mu Qing/Feng Xin at a temple and they discover the truth about what happened and take Xie Lian to Hua Cheng. I beleve it's multi-chapter. Ling Wen and Jun Wu also make appearances.

Maybe: Old Wounds and Old Friends by HoundsofCerberus. 4k, T, all the spoilers

Similar: A Splinter in the Heart by theearlymorningmist. 14k, T, spoilers

@theladypeartree asks:

Hello!! This might be a tricky one as I'm not sure it exists! Have you or any of your followers found any fics that have A-Yuan and Guzi friendship? I've found many crossovers, but not with the kiddos! Thank you for your hard work! ❤

anonymous asks:

Big spoilers for the later novels in this one: Hey there, I was wondering if there was any fics in which Xie Lian goes through with calling down the human face plague on Yong'an. I can't recall finding any and I'm not sure how to start looking. Thanks!

he who walks in sorrow by atomic muffin. 7k, M, read warnings!

Ok these are some I have been searching around for and haven't found much yet. If anyone has recs I would be grateful!

[alackofghosts]

got tagged by tumblr user @fourteenthz (loved reading about thesa, by the way <3)! thank you very much!

— B A S I C S

name: lil guy i'm very shy, don't worry about it

nicknames: none based on his name, as it's quite short already, but will also respond to a fond and/or slightly exasperated "hero"

age: 33 as of 6.55

nameday: 27th sun of the 4th umbral moon

race: rava viera

gender: cis man

orientation: gay

profession: adventurer

— P H Y S I C A L     A S P E C T

hair: black, naturally wavy, very thick and soft

eyes: dark brown

skin: warm brown, freckles easily, especially his face

tattoos: none

scars: burn scar on his left shoulder from his fight with ifrit, another burn on his right thigh from nidhogg. a few other scrapes here and there. notable lack of any significant scarring from shb and beyond, because that's how i see astrologian healing working - he feels particularly strange about not having a scar from his fight with zenos in endwalker

— F A M I L Y

parents: he has not been back to his home village, for obvious reasons, so doesn't know - but assumes - his mother is still alive and well; never met his biological dad. but because he showed signs of. however the viera would call/conceptualise the inner beast, one of the women called in a favour with a wood warder who was also a warrior, to take him under his wing to train. said wood warder, however, was wholly at a loss what to do with a child, having never taken in a ward before and decided to seek out an old friend, who had since left the forest. ...long story short, he ends up being raised by an all-viera dalmascan resistance cell, who end up packing up and leaving with him in tow after almost being rooted out by garlean forces. he views most of them as Parental Figures and loves them dearly, even if some of them have scattered into the winds after he left to become an adventurer

siblings: he isn't aware of any biological siblings, but the village took a very communal approach to raising kids, so at the time he definitely felt like the other kids were his siblings, regardless of any blood relations. one of the men in the resistance cell was a 'mere' 30 or so years older than him, so he also counts more as a sibling than anything else in his eyes

grandparents: he has definitely met his maternal grandmother, but as with his mother, he's not been back home and doesn't know if she is still alive (but in all likelihood: yes)

in laws and other: THE TWINS. putting an exact name to what alisaie and alphinaud mean to him would honestly not be Good or Close Enough, but they are absolutely like family to him and a reason to keep on going. he also has a very sibling-like relationship with lyse, who is always ready and willing to match his energy, tag along for workouts and tease the hell out of him

pets: he befriends an amaro hatchling at the crystarium during shadowbringers and during a later visit, her handler notes that she's been looking glum without him around. he loves animals, but his living situation has been far too chaotic after becoming an adventurer to accommodate an animal (that isn't his chocobo, who, at least, is much easier to house) and hasn't felt particularly inclined to change that. but after endwalker, he finds himself actually wanting to change that and has the time to do it... so, with a little bit of help from feo ul, he has a little amaro friend with him now

— S K I L L S

abilities: war + drk + pld and all that that entails. skilled and formidable fighter, good at navigating/strategising through a fight on the fly, quick study (as far as fighting is concerned, anyway)

hobbies: working out (especially running and swimming), hiking, he's been learning to enjoy fishing after endwalker

— T R A I T S

most positive traits: protective, caring, insatiable lust for life

most negative traits: too willing to let other people do the talking for him, impulsive, stubborn

— L I K E S

colours: warm red, gold, the bright green of sunlight filtering through leaves

smells: fresh earth, cinnamon, a meadow in early summer, the savoury smell of the stew one of his dads used to make

textures: soft grass under bare feet, tree bark, skin on skin, the scratch of ardbert's beard

drinks: water, pineapple juice, lemonade

— O T H E R    D E T A I L S

smokes: no

drinks: only socially, and even then it's fairly rare. he did drink a little more often as a baby adventurer, mostly because he simply had more opportunities to do so: mingling was useful and it wasn't uncommon to have a rowdy bar night to celebrate a job well done. he is a bit of a lightweight and tends to withdraw when tipsy/drunk, so he actually has more fun when sober

drugs: also no (unless we're counting medicine for this. he won't be refusing painkillers if he's in pain etc.)

mount issuance: his beloved chocobo, who he dotes on very much, especially because it was something of a dream to have when he was just a baby adventurer - he could not have afforded to buy or maintain one at the time

been arrested: he's got in trouble for those rowdy bar nights - he's not the type to start a fight, but if someone were to pick a fight with him or his friends, by gods, he will be finishing it. no serious jail time, more like being hauled off with everyone else involved to sober up until morning, though

[hephaestiions]

Inspired by your Drarry fic recs and your amazing Flintwood fic, do you have any Flintwood recs or personal favorites?

ah! fantastic ask, anon! flintwood was, incidentally, my earliest hp ship & maintains a soft spot after all these years. their functions in canon (quidditch captains of rival houses, pinnacles of a certain kind of obsessive, single-minded, aggressive athletic masculinity) conduce some of the most raw and gritty characterisations— kind of like if tracing your tongue along the jagged, broken end of a tooth was a ship. flintwood encapsulates a very specific kind of mood— a foregrounded physicality, a delicious emotional dimension balancing both subtlety and brashness. this ship is especially delightful when you're in the mood for some deferred emotional payoff, a little out of reach and more satisfying for it.

(tw for some discussions of queerphobia & masculinity!)

flintwood also works with and subverts some common stereotypes & tropes associated with sports as a site of exalted & amplified masculinity. oliver and marcus are both, in fic, often representations of what a popular (largely homophobic & patriarchal) culture understands as 'masculine ideal stereotypes'— physically hulking, emotionally repressed, narrow-focused, a little dangerous. and flintwood, as a ship, is crucially also about these 'ideal men' making the choice to step away from the hallowed halls of homosociality towards explicit queer desire, dynamics and love.

i'm getting into this because a large selection of flintwood fics i've loved deal (overtly or covertly) with coming to terms with queer awakenings, reckoning with being queer men in sports and similar explorations. my flintwood fic (thank you for reading it, anon!), addictive tendencies (~4k, T, tw for internalised homophobia) also grapples with this fairly significantly. in fact, even when the central tension isn’t explicitly about a queer reckoning, and the worldbuilding has little/no queerphobia, many excellent flintwood fics have some of the themes, ideas and tropes you find in literature accounting for our society’s (often disparaging) attitude towards queerness: a desire both intense and grudging, a sense of “i can’t have this person” justified through rivalry and/or jealousy, poignant internal conflicts, etc.

anyway, enough talk, here's a selection of flintwood fics i've dearly enjoyed, hope you do too! mind the tags & notes & remember to send some love the authors' way :)

best kept secrets by slyther_ing (M, 1.8k)

Marcus Flint is leaning up by the metal chainlink fence - gum popping, grin flashing white, and Oliver has the urge to run away because everything in the taller boy’s stature screams trouble, trouble, trouble.

twenty gauge by provocative_envy (T, 3k)

It takes Marcus less than ninety seconds to determine that his four o'clock is an aggressively annoying piece of shit.

wake up, get up, shut up by provocative_envy (E, 4.2k)

Marcus is twenty-three and half-concussed when it finally occurs to him that he might actually kind of sort of be really into dudes.

rugby boys, they play 15s by thistlecat (M, 4.5k)

Fifteen significant moments in Oliver Wood’s collegiate rugby career that did not make his highlight tape.

no vacancy by provocative_envy (M, 10.1k)

The dreams are frightening, at first.

true but not nice by v (E, 10.2k)

Marcus found out about it from Warrington, who heard it from Montague, who heard it from Derrick, who heard it from Nott, who heard it from Zabini, who heard it from Malfoy, who they said heard from the Quidditch dressing room, which really just meant that Marcus was going to fucking kill him.

self preservation by al-the-remix (E, 17.8k)

Outside the night had grown dark, and at some point Oliver had moved to perch on the edge of Marcus' bed, thigh pressed against his and tray settled between them. As if they had some sort of understanding. As if they were friends.

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

Jealous Reactions

Okay, so, I'm gonna try to pop out some requests that I've been far too busy to actually write, and I hope I get all of them!

If you sent me a request and after I post a bunch of these (Don't worry I'll make a seperate post when I believe I've gotten all of them) and you don't see yours PLEASE let me know and I will make sure I write it up for you, It's hard to keep track of things sometimes!

So, with that being said over the next few days I should be putting out quite a few of these!

ANYWAY- This was requested by @untitled53171

But, I'm also going to @mrsarthurmorgan7 because you've been wanting more Chubby Arthur and this is more chubby Arthur!

No worries I'll always write for chubby Arthur, he is after all my favorite chubby guy.

So, let's get on with the show!

(My photo below, feel free to use if you'd like! Just make sure I'm credited!)

WARNINGS: Fluff, Arthur being jealous and chubby, Maybe curse words, Chubby reader

Tags: @kieropal @cantchoosejust1 @photo1030 @pcotarelo @6kaja9

Arthur couldn't help but get angry as he watched you in the Saloon.

The two of you were here to celebrate a job done well, yet here he was being sour, watching with a frown on his face, as you interacted with patrons throughout the bar, and with some of the gang members who'd come with the two of you.

He felt a tinge of hot lightning strike through his body every time you pushed past someone and gently placed your hands on their chests to pass around them.

Each time you laughed at someone's joke and it wasn't his he seemed to see red.

The two of you weren't technically an item, no, but everyone in camp could see just how much he liked you, everyone, it seemed like you were the only one who couldn't.

Or, maybe you could and you liked to torture him.

Arthur quelled a growl that seemed to crawl up his throat and gripped the beer bottle that he'd sat down on his table.

If he wasn't careful he'd break it, he knew that, but he had to grab something, anything to try and focus his frustration to something else.

Was this....

He couldn't be, not him....

He wasn't....Jealous, was he?

Quietly he let out a breath and looked down at himself.

He felt like he'd let himself go over the past year or so, he'd gained weight, his stomach hung over his belt, he'd gotten a double chin that he couldn't bare to look at so he kept his beard just slightly long enough to cover it.

His arms were huge, he knew that, and he also knew a lot of it was muscle but at the same time he couldn't help but look at the fat that hung off of them.

His thighs and legs were massive, he'd had to go up two pants sizes and change his belt out for a bigger one.

No wonder you weren't paying attention to him.

He was nothing but a fat piece of shit, a murderer and an outlaw who wasn't attractive and wasn't fit.

Maybe if he'd lost a couple of pounds, you'd be more inclined to look his way.

He huffed and clenched the bottle again before bringing it to his lips and taking a sip.

Maybe he could drink the jealousy away, though if he got drunk nothing good would come of that.

He watched as you walked up to Bill who leaned against the bar, he couldn't help but watch your figure, the way your stomach pudged out further than the rest of you, it always looked so soft, so squeezable, he found his eyes wondering down towards your thighs, the way they curved outwards, and he always felt as though he wanted to pull you close with his hands rested against them.

Every part of you made you seem irresistible to him. You had a rounder face, with chubby little cheeks, and the extra weight you had wasn't gross like the extra weight he had.

On you it looked natural and right, it added an approachability to you that he loved so dearly, it made you so attractive to him, and he loved every inch of you, every inch.

There was no way that you'd be with him, he'll he was bigger than Bill, and you were talking to him, so why on earth would you talk to Arthur instead?

His jaw clenched and he looked at the table, looking at the scratches that had been carved into the wood.

Some initials left by previous patrons, some knife marks left by someone playing five finger fillet.

Still not enough to distract him, that's for sure.

He looked up, only to be taken aback as you stood right in front of him.

He nearly fell off his chair, his feet hitting the ground from where they'd been propped against the table.

"Jesus Y/N, why don't you announce yourself next time?"

"Well, maybe you should pay attention next time." You chuckle and take a seat across from him, watching his eyebrows furrow, and his eyes darken as he watches you sit.

"What the hell you want?"

"What's with the attitude Arthur, I'm here to celebrate with you! We did it! The score was a good one, we got a decent take from it, everyone else is drinking and dancing, so why aren't you? You're usually the life of the party when alcohol is involved." You place a hand against the table leaning towards him.

"I ain't got nothin' to celebrate." He mutters under his breath. "It was a job, it was done, we got the money. That's it."

"We always celebrate a job done well, we did it a few weeks ago, and you were nothing but smiles then, so what changed?"

He clenched his jaw and then took another swig from the bottle that had become nearly glued to his hand with how hard he was clenching it.

"Nothin' changed."

"Arthur, you can't lie to me, it's plain on your face just how angry you are."

"I ain't...angry." He huffs and looks down, swallowing quietly.

"Okay, then what's that look on your face for?" You grin and flick his nose, watching as he tracks your finger and flinches slightly at your flick.

"I..." He swallows for a moment and looks away. "I don't like how you're touchin' everyone."

"What?"

"Movin' past 'em, and...puttin'...your hands on their chests, I...I don't like it, and talkin' to Bill, laughin' at everyone's jokes....it....it ain't me." He manages to choke out what he's thinking.

You're stunned shocked for a moment and then you hear yourself start snorting, and before you know it you're unable to stop yourself from laughing.

Arthur looks at you with a stern look, yet his cheeks are turning crimson, and you try your best to stop laughing for his expense, but it takes a while for you to properly stop them.

You swallow, trying to push the chortles back down your throat, and look him in the eyes.

"Are you....Jealous, of these guys Arthur?"

He takes a deep breath and looks down before nodding quietly.

You're torn for a moment between laughing and comforting him, and in the end you decide on the latter, placing your hand gently against his shoulder.

He looks at you, and he's not near crying, but there's a look in his eyes that certainly breaks your heart.

"I jus'....I wish...I wish you'd look at me that way...I..." He looks around, hoping that no one was near enough to hear the next words that came out of his mouth. "I want...I want you to hold me that way, put your hands on me like that....I...I know, that's stupid...for me to feel-"

"Arthur, you have nothing to be jealous about."

You cut him off and then stand, moving your seat closer to him, facing it towards him.

Quietly you bring your hand over his and hold it there, feeling the warmth of his hand against yours.

"You have nothing to be jealous of, at all. You realize that I'm sweet on you, don't you?"

He looks up at you with a sharp jerk of his neck, his eyes widening as the words fall out of your mouth.

"I've been sweet on you for god knows how long." You sigh. "I just couldn't convince myself to tell you, I couldn't see you feeling the same, but...you being jealous...I mean...you must be sweet on me too, right?"

"I am...Have been, for a while, like you."

You nod and quietly look around before looking him in the eye.

"You have NOTHING to be jealous of, nothing, I was just pushing around them, talking, the only person I want to be close to is you, only you."

"I...Y/N, I don't know what to say...I suppose I was bein' foolish."

"Why don't you just talk to me about it next time cowboy?"

He nods quietly, and his face stays crimson, embarrassed at his behavior.

Gently you cup his face and pull him close, placing your lips against his gently, feeling a warmth spread through you as the two of you smile against each others lips.

That jealousy is quick to melt away.

[rodolfoparras]

from the rdr2 ask

r is reader akssjsjs 😭 and rdr2 is like 1899 wild west cowboys set in usa (for context)

I'm thinking r gets up on his horse (who's actually a horse of one of the men he killed), he looks back once again, the white of his eyes standing out in the blood covering his face, and catches gaz's eyes. it's a silent goodbye, but not one on a good note. r gallops away from where the 141 has set camp, not knowing where to go next or even where he's going to get a meal or sleep tonight. honestly he fall asleep right now from how exhausted he is from the fight and the lack of sleep the last few days, but he keeps riding till he's certain no one has followed him, then finds a nice tree to pass out under.

meanwhile, back at the camp, gaz is at a loss of words. people he considered family, people that Are his family lied to him about you. worse than that, they left you out to die, after gaz had been the one to save you. when they first met you, you were apprehensive of tagging along w them, not wanting to be a burden, and gaz reassured you it's okay. and all he can think of now is how you must think that gaz's promises meant nothing. and he knows you'd be right to think so when the people he trusted the most have betrayed him like this. he asks them one simple thing, "why?" he didn't shout or look angry, but everyone knew better than to think he wasn't. he was fuming.

"kyle, you can't expect us to just up and trust some stranger. you know we have plans in motion, plans that we can't risk anyone else getting the wind of..." price spoke up.

"so you left him to die? if that is what we are now, I want no part of it," gaz said, and he could almost see soap's eyes bulge out at the insinuation of leaving. they might be wary of outsiders, but they still love gaz dearly. and gaz loves them too, and deep down he knows he could never really leave them.

"i wasn't going to wait for him to slit our throats in our sleep, yeah?" soap said in frustration and a second later price and ghost had to break gaz's grip on his throat, pushing them apart.

"why do you even care so much, eh? in love w the lad or what?" soap coughs out, and the look on gaz's face says everything. first the knowledge of gaz possibly caring about this stranger sinks in, then comes the dread of what they did to the man gaz cared about, their heads now hanging low. ghost tries to say smth, but it's too late and gaz is storming off, trying to find some place to be alone.

he settles down near the stream, he tells himself he has to accept the fact that he might never see you again. that is if you're alive. he's so worried about you, wondering how you manage the injuries all on your own, just one horse to keep you company, the blood soaked clothes on your back, and not much else. by god, he's so worried about you he could cry. and he knows even if he sees you again, you'll want nothing to do w him. he can't go after you. he can't bear to see the faces of his family, the people he asked you to trust, after they've all but stabbed you in the back. so he sits alone, and thinks and think and thinks.

he thinks about how you must've felt, when left alone in the middle of an already unfair gunfight. he can't imagine what that feeling of being completely alone in the middle of certain death must've felt like. but then he thinks about how you made it out anyways. always fighting death. he thinks of how he's seen you survive against all odds, cheating death twice in the time he's known you. he hopes that you live through the aftermath of the fight too. and he hopes to find you again some time. he hopes he can get the chance to apologize and maybe, just maybe you'll believe him. he wants to hold you, he wants to tell you all the things he wasn't brave enough to in the 10 weeks you travelled w them. he hopes he hasn't missed his chance.

-❕️

SUGAR THIS WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL READ IM BEING SO SERIOUS THIS IS SO WELL WRITTEN I LOVED THIS you can genuinely feel how sad gaz is for reader and how torn he feels being in the position that he is in it’s also very clear he absolutely loves reader please 🧎🏻‍♂️ BUT WHY ANOTHER CLIFF HANGER IM GOING TO SCREAM

[knight-of-flowerss]

she-bear : chapter two

navigation | warnings : sexism, talk of battle | a/n : I did this at like half nine to half ten at night while being sick so sorry if it's bad😭 | wattpad | tags : @thethreeeyed-raven , @fangsp1der-2099 , @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom , @thelirofnorthlands , @naaladareia , @not-that-syndrigast

When I was young grandmother would tell my siblings and I about a castle somewhere in Norway. It's walls are tall and wide, drum towers on all four corners, stone bricks mossy and decayed, a lavish courtyard and a great hall that would be filled with mouth watering courses.

It took over thirteen years until it was fully built. They started when I was five, thirteen years later I'm eighteen, still patiently waiting to go to this palace of wonders.

And the time finally came.

It was Greta's tenth birthday, festivities at a high with young children running around playing games, their mothers and grandmothers talking in the corners of the hall while keeping an eye on their curious children and the fathers and the grandfathers all in the study, drinking fine wine and talking about business.

All of a sudden all of the fathers are back in the hall and the mothers are rounding up their unruly cattle, trying to get them to sit still as everyone sits at the long tables and face the long Godfrey family table that sits higher than everyone else's.

My mother and father walk to their seats as my siblings and I take our seats, trying to keep the birthday girl still. After everyone is seated my father stands up with a cup of wine in his hands, "Today I want to celebrate my lovely daughter, Greta, she is ten years old today and she is nearly a young woman. With that I would like to gift my family with a large present. As you know, Greta has always wanted to live in a castle, Elsa lost her husband a few months back and times have just been harsh and stressful with the battle between our prideful Duetschland!," [Germany].

People cheered at the comment on our great nation, spilling wine as they cheered, "And the sly, cunning Poland, the route of all our problems. They think that they can beat us? Win this war? They are crazy like a woman who thinks she can be as powerful as a king!"

Men laughed at the comment on women and Poland, the many Ladies sat with uncomfortable smiles on their faces. "As soon as we win this battle and burn the traitors of Germany, my family and I will be leaving our motherland."

A few gasps left the mouths of the guests as shocked faces flooded the hall, including me and my siblings faces. Greta squealed with joy and jumped out of her seat, running to our father, running into him giving him a big hug. "Oh thank you father! Thank you!," she pauses and looks up, "But father where are we going? England? The Netherlands? France? Denma-" Greta was cut off as my father put his large hand over my sisters mouth with a small chuckle as she just looks up at him.

"Now, now dear pearl," He looks up and smiles at the guests in the hall, "What have I said about interrupting me when I'm giving a speech?", "not to... sorry father..", "It is alright pearl, anyways, as I was saying, we will be moving away from our great country for the sake of my children and parents. We will be going to a place that my father holds dearly in his heart and wants to spend the rest of his numbered days there, as most of you have noticed, my mother and father are not present, that is because they are currently settling into our castle that has been getting built for the last thirteen years."

Mine and my siblings heads shoot up, looking at my father. Could he be talking about the castle in Norway? The one we used to play princesses and knights dreaming about? We waited in anticipation as he gave a smile to the crowd.

"We will be moving to Norway, on the outskirts of Kattegat, a major trade city with the infamous Ragnar Lothbrok being their old king but leaving due to his failed attempt in Paris, we will be living near a peaceful trade centre which will provide fresh food and remedies for my frail father as he battles his illness."

My siblings and I sat in shock as the tales from our childhood were coming true. A smile etched its was onto my face as a I dreamt of a new beginning in a place that is known worldwide for its story of how the small fishing town became one of the most famous trading cities in the world.

[lale-txt]

hello, Lale reporting back to duty ♡-(๑˙ー˙๑)-♡

i always feel like i should give an explanation on the reasons why i kinda vanished at the beginning of this year and why i have stopped writing. but then again i don't think it matters at all and the only thing that does now is that i'm taking care of myself, even though on some days it's just tough.

anyway! my notes app is bubbling over with all kinds of ideas and drafts and i'm really feeling the itch to start writing again which feels great! it's just nice to know that no matter how long i'm absent from writing i can just always pick it up again and my creativity hasn't gone down the drain.

for now i'm gonna set up a queue with older works of mine and some things that have been sitting finished but unpublished in my drafts. just block the tag lale.q if you don't want to see. i'll be going on vacation soon and once i'm back mid September i hope to get back into a more regular writing & posting routine again in case nothing unexpected happens again... 2023 got hands ಥ◡ಥ

and maybe the biggest change to this blog: i want to expand the fandoms i write for! while i still love OP dearly, many other babygirls, dilfs & gilfs from different fandoms have caught my interest this year and i want to test the waters for them as well. thinking about Golden Kamuy, Naruto, JJK, Demon Slayer, Jigokuraku... so just a heads up if multifandom blogs aren't your thing lol. but i think for me it's just the change that i need.

thank you and a big fat kiss for sticking with me despite this long absence, i really appreciate everyone who i still see in my notes and who reaches out to me ♡