#anyway i was right that dr cannot tough it i fear.....

[mr-nicegirl]

i read that as months btw and was like (dramatic ass spit take) 1-2 YEARS???? but its weeks. false alarm lovers......

[r6sedust]

Faith

(a fanfiction based off of an AU where Fenton is a FOWL agent, you can find it on ao3 by thatkidwithr6ses, which is my profile. I'm not posting the link cause my post dont appear in tags if I add links)

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It wasn't hard to see that Huey thought highly of Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera.

 

He was smart and noble. A brilliant scientist who was capable of creating his own energy source. A hero who believed there was no limits when it came to saving others.  And not only was he a great role model, he was a great friend. His best friend. He would always ask Huey for help and his opinions on his inventions. He was always so fun to talk to. Fenton would always enlighten Huey about his inventions that it sparked a childlike wonder inside of the small duck. He would always be delighted to answer Huey's questions about the Gizmosuit for his journal entries. Fenton was such a kind and good natured person. He was all that Huey ever dreamed of being. 

Yes, he's a good person.

He's a good person.

He's supposed to be a good person.

A good person who is always there for his friends and family. Who is trustworthy and would never keep secrets.

Who would never lie

Who would never betray anyone.

Sure, he's betrayed them before, but he'd never do it again because he learned his lesson right?

Right?

That's what Huey thought until he saw Fenton standing alone in his bathroom office, holding a button in his hands.

That had a tiny voice coming out of it. A voice he heard giving him orders.

A voice that sounded suspiciously like Bradford Buzzard.

'Agent Double C? Agent Double C, do you copy?'  That was Bradford's voice. 

Agent Double C? Who's that?

 

Crackshell-Cabrera. Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera.

 

Huey stood at the entrance of the stall, clenching the bottom hem of his shirt. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. He had barely any thought of what was going on. No, he knew exactly what was going on: that Fenton was a traitor-

 

'NO! ' Huey mentally screamed at himself, 'there has to be an explanation for this! Fenton isn't a villain! He's not! There has to be a reason behind this.'

 

"F-Fenton..." was all Huey managed to get out.

Fenton quickly turned off the communicator and hid it in his fist. His face scrunched up slightly and he looked at Huey. "Huey, I-" Fenton attempted to explain as he slowly approached the younger one of the two. Huey backed up a little bit in response. "W-what are...w-why are...why?" Huey struggled. "I-I..." Fenton was at a loss of words. He sighed and looked away from Huey for a bit to find those words again.

"I-I-I can't really explain it now, but all I can say is that I have my reasons." 

Has his reasons? What does that even mean?

"W-what...what do you mean? What's going on? Fenton, why are you talking to Bradford?!" Huey exclaimed, tears starting to fill his eyes. "Why...why FOWL?"

Fenton slowly looked at the floor, tapping his fingers in his thigh. "I-it's a long s-story that I don't think...uh...that I cannot really explain right now." he responded while looking down the whole time. "No, this...this isn't right! You're not a villain! Is FOWL forcing you to do this? Are you being controlled right now? Cause if so then we can help-"

"Huey!" Fenton interrupts, looking the boy dead in the eye and clenching his fist. He then softens his expression and gives Huey a sorrowful look. "I'm d-doing this voluntarily." You can almost hear a loud thump as Huey's heart drops. He lets a tear slip as he backs away from the stall. "...no..." he manages to say. "I'm really sorry, but that's just reality." Fenton states. 

Huey feels his whole body begin to shake. His breath was shaky and tears started to fall faster. He stared at Fenton with a fearful and hurt look that struck Fenton in the heart like an arrow. He tried to reached out to the young duck, but he quickly ran away from him. "Uncle Scrooge!" Fenton heard him call out. He thought of going after him, but realized that at this point it was useless. Preventing Huey from telling them the truth and forcing him to keep the secret against his will was cruel. Fenton wasn't heartless.

Which was the only thing about himself that he was certain of. 

-------------------------------------------------------

"He's in here." Huey said as his uncle, Scrooge, and his brothers and Webby followed behind. They quickly entered the bathroom, Scrooge walking in front of the kids to the stall office. He looked back at the kids to see if they were ready. Dewey posed in a basic fighting position and gave him a nod, Webby pulled out her dagger with a nod as well, and Louie just hid behind Webby and Dewey. Meanwhile, Huey just stood to the side, hugging himself and looking at the ground. Scrooge nods at the kids before pushing the door open. 

"Alright, explain yerself Cabrera-" Scrooge started. Suddenly, he noticed that the stall was empty. He backed up and looked around the restroom. "Where in blazes is his?" 

Huey's head perked up at his uncle's question. Him and the others ran to the stall to see what he was talking about. To their surprise, Fenton wasn't in the stall like Huey said. "He...ran away?" Huey asked quietly. Scrooge let out a frustrated sigh and looked and Huey. He bent down and pat his head and gave him a hopeful look. "Don't worry Huey, I'll find him and get to the bottom o'this." He said. As he left, he mumbled something under his breath that Huey faintly caught. "Curse me kilts. And to think that another one of my employees was just another traitorous spy."

Huey felt himself begin to cry again as he rested his head against the stall's door. Dewey, Louie, and Webby took notice and exchanged sad looks with one another. Webby approached Huey and gave him a hug from the side. "I'm so sorry Huey, I know this is tough on you." She said, rubbing his back. His brothers approached him after Webby, both of them joining the hug. "It's gonna be OK big bro." Dewey comforted. "I-I know," Huey said quietly, "it's just...so hard to believe. I-I don't w-want to b-b-believe--". Dewey began to shush him gently as Huey sobbed. 

The others felt terrible for their brother. They knew there isn't really anything they can do to fix this, but they still wanted to help. They had a feeling that this was only the tip of the iceberg.

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"Agent Double C, did you find those documents like I ordered?" Director Bradford Buzzard asked as Fenton entered the meeting room of the hideout. He walked to the chair beside the old buzzard and stood there with his hands folded behind his back. He looked away from Buzzard out of both annoyance and shame. "N-no sir, my mission was compromised. Huey Duck found out my identity and, as far as I am aware, he told his uncle." Fenton admitted.

Bradford furrowed his eyebrows and glared at the duck. "What do you mean he knows your identity? You were suppose to be FOWL's secret weapon. How can you do that when you've been caught?" 

"M-my apologies, sir. I shouldn't have carelessly had my communicator on."

"Apologies won't fix my plan." Bradford huffed, he removed his glasses and wiped his face, letting out a sigh. "You were so close too. I guess I have to come up with another plan. You're dismissed." 

"And to think you were competent enough for that job"  Bradford quietly hissed as he walked away, not knowing, or more likely caring, that Fenton heard. Fenton scoffed to himself as he hurriedly left the room. He went into one of the private rooms and locked himself inside. He sat criss cross on the ground and rested his head in his hands. He felt like he was going to cry, but nothing came out except for a sigh. 

If only, if only he hadn't had his communicator on at that time, he could've gotten the documents and have his mission be over with. He could've finally gotten what he had hoped of getting from Bradford like he promised. He wouldn't have had to crush Huey's heart.

No, he couldn't dwell on that anymore, on Huey anymore. He was merely just an obstacle in the mission. Fenton always knew that, he knew that getting close to anyone would be pointless. 

But he did anyway. Not just to Huey, but to Dr. Gearloose, Manny, everyone. And it was all ruined in a matter of a minute. He had to admit that he did feel guilty about what he did, but that was the kind of person he was. That's what a good person does, they feel bad. Yeah, he was a good person. 'I am a good person" he thought to himself. He rolled his eyes and huffed.

"What's the point of lying to yourself anymore?"

[bau-rookie]

a close examination of Hotch and Foyet

in which Hotch’s greatest strength becomes his fatal flaw.

(a/n: super long essay, because i don’t know how else to consume media apparently lol. i’ve been sitting on this since “100″ because it is really sad and I just wanted to make sure I get all my thoughts in order. It is, to my discovery, Aaron Hotchner’s birthday today, so what better way to celebrate than by explaining all the ways the Foyet arc reads like a Greek tragedy and how Hotch is an amazingly well-written character. Sorry the only way I can think about paying tribute is by making myself sad. Oh there’s GIFs too! I made them and that’s neat :D)

I. Ingredients for a Greek tragedy.

Greek tragedies stem from classical plays, usually about the nobility, and is centered around their struggle against the Gods/Fate. The noble character has a hamartia, or a fatal flaw, usually their own arrogance, that brings upon their own downfall.

Technically, Criminal Minds would fall under the category of modern tragedy which focuses more on common people and everyday problems. (Though you could argue that being a BAU profiler isn’t your typical career, which makes our characters noble not by blood, but in spirit.)

In modern tragedy, there is less of an emphasis on the involvement of a higher power or Fate. Every bad thing that happens is of mankind’s own making, and this is something that CM discusses often, that evil isn’t necessarily brought upon by a higher power. It’s brought upon by ordinary people choosing to do terrible things. 

And Foyet is no different. He chose to kill all these people because he wanted to, but his fascination with Hotch and how his plans for him play out, entrap Hotch in a tragedy more Greek in nature.

What Foyet ultimately does is take Hotch’s greatest strength—his stoic resolve to serve justice—and uses it to hold him personally responsible for the death of his ex-wife, all while bending the hand of Fate to his will.

II. Hotch as a noble character.

In “Omnivore” we are introduced to the Reaper and the many ways he tries to exert control and power over his victims. After killing so many times loses its appeal, the Reaper decides to toy with detective Tom Shaunessey by offering him a deal—if you stop hunting me, I will stop hunting them. 

While we sympathize with Shaunessey simply trying to save lives, he does so with the knowledge that he is deliberately letting a serial killer go free. The fear and the guilt eats away at him until his death.

Hotch, on the other hand, quickly establishes himself to be a resolute pursuer of justice. We don’t get to make those decisions. We don’t let them get away with it. He holds onto the idea that they have no right to decide who lives or dies and that the victims that unsubs like the Reaper takes, are not something he, or anyone in his line of work, should feel responsible for. Their sole responsibility is to stop them. 

This isn’t to say that Hotch is unaffected by the increasing number of bodies. When he turns down the deal and the Reaper attacks the bus full of people, he is visibly shaken by this, so much so that we see Hotch cry for the first time. It takes Rossi delivering some tough love to remind him of what’s important.

Look, if you want to end up like Shaunessy, like Gideon, blaming yourself for everything, you go ahead. But that voice in your head—it’s not your conscience. It’s your ego. This isn’t about us, Aaron. It’s about the bad guys. That why we profile them. It’s their fault. We’re just guys doing a job. And when we stop doing it someone else will.

Hotch and the team in general, are faced with constant reminders that they are only human. They are fallible and cannot control every outcome. 

Not everyone can handle the stresses of being a profiler. Despite the horrors, the chance of failing, Hotch’s greatest strength is his stoic resolve. He’s become our beloved Unit Chief, the person on the team who takes on the most pressure, takes it upon himself to, at times, shield the rest of the team from the greater burdens. Personally, he’s arguably also the one who sacrificed the most to have this job, having lost his marriage.

Yet despite the horrors, despite the toll, Hotch shows up for the job anyway. Because he can’t imagine letting the bad guys get away with it.

III. Foyet as a representation of Fate

“The Eye of Providence. A symbol adopted by the U.S. Government with the words: Annuit Coeptis. Latin for “Providence or fate has favored our undertakings.” The Reaper seems to see himself as the personification of Fate.”  — Dr. Spencer Reid, “Omnivore”

From the beginning Foyet is shown to have a flair for theatrics. He leaves markings of the Eye of Providence, writes Fate in blood, calls himself the The Reaper. He has delusions of grandeur and posits himself as a higher power, one who gets to decide the course of other people’s lives. Everyone who has the misfortune of coming into contact with the Reaper, becomes another chess piece in his twisted game of Fate.

In another life, Hotch would never cross paths with Foyet. But because he did, Foyet acts as Fate, bringing down divine intervention in the form of driving Hotch into a tragedy of his own making.

Foyet acting as Fate is, paradoxically, also an argument against the actual existence of Fate. Everything that happens is a result of Foyet’s choices. It is him, a man, and not Fate who is choosing to kill, maim and be cruel.

When it came to Shaunessy, Foyet also emphasized pinning the blame of the death of innocent lives on the failure of law enforcement. It isn’t Fate when there’s something you could do to stop it. Shaunessy took the deal because he felt personally responsible for the possible loss of lives, an outcome that Foyet pretty much predicted, but one that doesn’t really affect him. Shaunessy agrees, he gets off on controlling the police. If he doesn’t, well, he can just keep on killing.

Foyet repeats the deal with Hotch. Offers him the deal, which Hotch refuses then immediately murders 7 people on the bus, setting a chain of cause and effect that makes it seems like Hotch’s actions led to this gruesome outcome. Again, placing the blame personally, on Hotch. And Hotch does blame himself, if momentarily.

Later, once Foyet escapes and corners Hotch in his own apartment, he makes it clear, you should have made a deal. Foyet acts as a vessel for Fate, a vehicle through which the consequences of Hotch’s actions are served. 

Foyet takes it a step further, when he puts Haley and Jack in witness protection. Left all the usual clues, to simply say your wife and child are in danger because you never took the deal. I hold all the cards here, your fate will come for you eventually.

Then Foyet disappears, and waits. Leaving Hotch filled with guilt over endangering his ex-wife and child, at the mercy of Foyet’s arbitration of Fate.

IV. Dominoes and fatal flaws

By the time “100″ rolls around, you’re so captivated by the action happening on screen that it’s easy to overlook how we got there. When I first watched this season, I had assumed that Foyet would be put on the back burner until the end of the season. His quicker-than-expected return seems to be happenstance, the writers behind-the-scenes doing some plot magic, but if you reexamine the events that lead up to “100″ we see Foyet’s greater machinations at play.

On the surface, the preceding episode “Outfoxed” seems to be a straight forward throwback to an earlier case. Faced with a family annihilator, Hotch and Emily visit the original Fox in prison, believing the current unsub might be a copycat. The episode seems to be about the mental toll being a profiler brings, with Emily contending with a sense of disgust at having to get intimate with a serial killer (post-”Lauren” this reads very differently, but I digress). Until right at the end, when they reveal the admirer letters were actually from Foyet, and the one being outfoxed is Hotch.

When the events of “100″ go down, we hear Foyet repeatedly blame Hotch for what happens with Haley, calls out what we see as a noble resolve to instead be Hotch’s fatal flaw. It was the same thing that led Haley to leave him, a failing borne from Hotch’s own ego, the part of him that insists that it be him who catches the bad guys, that it be him who risks it all. And Foyet uses that to his advantage, uses Hotch’s resolve to trick him into thinking that maybe he did cause all of this tragedy to happen.

One small detail that caught my attention, and set me on this Greek tragedy path, is when they try to track down Foyet in “100″, Garcia notes that he had set an internet search alert for the name “Peter Rhea.”

At this point, Foyet was ready to go after Haley and Jack. He already had pictures and surveillance of the U.S. Marshall in charge of them. He could’ve gone and killed them anytime, but that’s not how Foyet operates. He needs Hotch to feel personally responsible for things ending badly. He set the bait with the letters and simply had to wait for Hotch and the team to get close enough, to find Peter Rhea. This is, of course, incredibly risky. The team could catch him before Foyet gets anywhere close to Haley and Jack, but Foyet is sure of himself and is an extensive planner. He made sure he was always two steps ahead.

The irony is that Foyet would never have gone after Haley and Jack if Hotch and the team didn’t get close to tracking him down. There’s an added layer of Spencer figuring out Foyet’s alias using his genius anagram deciphering brain and Garcia’s expert tech analyst skills. Foyet managed to hurt Hotch because this specific BAU team are just too damn good at their jobs.

Foyet set up dominoes that only Aaron Hotchner could tip to fall. He does it so well it almost feels like Fate.

V. The inevitability of fate

“Men heap together the mistakes of their lives and create a monster called destiny.”  — John Hobbes, “Omnivore” closing quote.

A key aspect of Greek tragedy, is that Fate is often the result of divine intervention. They cause certain events to happen in certain ways so as to result in the most tragic outcome, usually death. It’s designed so that the audience is aware of what’s to come, and can see no other way for the story to end. The tragedy is supposed to feel inevitable.

One could argue, that there is no such thing as Fate. Life is simply a sequence of random happenstance, but our need to prescribe meaning to the chaos cobbles up stories of predetermined destinies. Especially when the idea of owning up to our mistakes and their consequences is too much.

All of this was the result of one sick man, George Foyet, choosing to be so cruel. And Hotch was simply a victim of circumstance because if Foyet wasn’t going after Hotch, he’d be going after someone else.

But what are the odds that Hotch’s first case as lead profiler happens to be The Boston Reaper? It was from that moment that Hotch’s fate was really sealed, he and Foyet would be forever intertwined. 

Hotch, being who he is, had inadvertently, made the Reaper personal. Even when his BAU team was sent away, his resolve wouldn’t let the Reaper simply disappear. It led him to build his profile, alone and over many years. Any other person might’ve just let the case go, but not Hotch.

So when Shaunessy died and the Reaper resurfaced, the only person in the world who knows enough about the Reaper to track him down, is Hotch. It’s what leads him to George Foyet, a victim at first glance, and Hotch comes to him unaware that he is promising The Reaper a new, worthy adversary, one a decade in the making. And everything, from his prison escape, to his attack on Hotch in his apartment, plays out exactly as Foyet expects it to, because as much as Hotch can read him, Foyet can read his behavior too.

At the end of 5x03, “Reckoner”, Rossi talks about what could have been when it comes to his childhood sweetheart to Hotch. About how he was too obsessed with his job, with the hunt that he gave up his chance of having a family. Rossi warns Hotch, don’t make my mistakes, kid.

You have a family. When all this is over, what are you gonna do to make sure you’re not a lonely guy wondering why you let the purest thing in your life get away?

My initial reaction was that they were setting up for Hotch to leave the BAU for good. The man who hung on to the job so much that it cost him his marriage, for the first time, actually considers leaving it all behind him. Because what Rossi says to him, driven by the circumstances that Foyet has created, is too profound for him to ignore. Foyet is too big of a thing to just move on from once its over.

Of course, my hopes of Hotch riding off into sunset to live a quieter life and watch his son grow up were optimistic at best. It’s a fantasy that purposely ignores the reality of who Hotch is, simply because I want the alternative to be possible. By the time Haley is buried, and Strauss offers Hotch retirement, we already know what his answer is going to be. Because everything we know about this man can only lead us to one conclusion.

Aaron Hotchner is the man who goes after the bad guys, the man who doesn’t let them get away with it. No matter how much I yell at my screen about how Hotch should just retire and spend all his time with Jack, deep down I knew that was never going to happen. Him losing Haley and still going back to work, seems like the only logical outcome. It’s almost feels inevitable.

VI. Catharsis

The point of tragedy is, according to Aristotle, to achieve catharsis. The purging of emotion through the telling of another person’s suffering. And that’s what “100″ does (unless your heart is made of stone and you somehow did not tear up even once).

Others would say that tragedy is meant to teach us a lesson. Meant to teach us the limits of our mortal abilities, to warn against hubris and arrogance; to remind us that they are higher powers and unseen forces beyond our understanding or control.

Criminal Minds doesn’t try to give us that lesson. Like in so many previous cases, the premise of a crime procedural is really a way of examining human nature. Why do people do bad things? More often than not, though our profilers can figure out how an unsub goes from doing thing A to thing B, they don’t have a satisfying answer for why. 

In Foyet’s case, he does all of this to Hotch because he can, because he enjoys making him suffer. It is evil, unnecessarily cruel. There is no sense to be found in what happened.

But “100″ does not deliver pure tragedy. It ended in the death of Haley but it also provided hope in the survival of Jack. Hotch finally rids the world of Foyet, though the way it went down, you can’t help but wonder about the price of justice, if the cost is too much for this one man to pay. But then the show reminds the audience, that this one man isn’t bearing that cost alone.

Aaron Hotchner has his team, his family, and with their support, a chance to recover from the tragedy that Foyet wrought.

I used to think that, despite being dead, George Foyet still won. He set out to hurt Hotch, and that’s exactly what he did. We’ve only seen Hotch openly cry twice at this point, and they both were directly caused by Foyet. And I suppose that’s still partly true. It’s hard to really tell with our stone-faced unit chief, but it’s hard to see how Foyet wouldn’t linger.

But that victory isn’t absolute. Foyet is gone, and he loses every time Jack gets to spend another day happy and alive. Foyet loses, every time Hotch shows up for the job and doesn’t let another unsub like him get away with it.

And maybe that’s the lesson. That though good doesn’t always triumph over evil, there is a way to move past tragedy. And that path lies not in solitude, in carrying the burden alone, but in the solace of our friends and family who can bear witness to all that we must face.

For all all my waxing poetic about how Hotch is a noble hero, this entire ordeal just shows how human he is. Yet despite his flaws and the tragedy, the core unassailable truth of who he is, the values he represents, remain unchanged.

He is Aaron Hotchner. The guy who hunts down guys like Foyet. The guy who doesn’t let the bad guys get away with it. The guy who, despite everything, managed to save his son. The guy who will keep his promise to the woman he was once married to, to teach their son that love is the most important thing. The guy who makes sure that his son knows that good people do exist.

Aaron Hotchner is the guy who, despite all the hurt, the pain and the loss, chooses to be the hero. And that’s the farthest thing from tragic.

[thisisocd]

5 things NOT to do when your friend has a Mental Illness

TL;DR: 1. Don’t coddle or shield them. 2. Don’t push them too far outside their comfort zone. 3. Don’t make fun of their symptoms unless they’re okay with it. 4. Don’t try to be their therapist or assume you know what’s best. 5. Don’t give up on them.

Because so many people are afraid to discuss mental illness, it often becomes a game of assumptions and estimations.  I’ve personally noticed throughout many of my friendships that a few common misconceptions exist about how I need to be treated. This is simply based on the mental illnesses that I deal with and the lack of knowledge out there about them. In this post, I’ll be discussing these misconceptions; basically, things that I wish people knew or understood in my past friendships.

Full article under the cut:

1. DON’T coddle or shield them.

I think one of the most frustrating parts of high school, for me, was that my friends were afraid to joke around with me. In their eyes, I was too fragile a thing to be messed with. I remember one of them pointed out that they felt as if they were “walking on eggshells” when they were with me. That was definitely a punch to the gut.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to communicate with literally everyone important to you in your life, your friends included.It’s also important not to shield the truth from them. Sooner or later, the truth always comes out. Don’t assume that everyone can read your mind, and definitely don’t assume that the truth will hurt them more than being lied to; because, in all honesty, I’d personally rather you tell me how angry you are with me than you lie about it to my face.

It’s true that someone with a mental illness might react differently to the truth than someone without one. That doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to hear it.

2. DON’T push them too far outside their comfort zone.

Say you want to go to a new restaurant with great burgers, but there are no food options there for your vegetarian friend. Would you force them to eat meat anyway? Maybe they can eat meat—they’re not necessarily allergic—but that doesn’t mean that they need to. You wouldn’t force them, right?

Well, say you have a friend who has an anxiety disorder and you want to take them with you to the amusement park. You really want to go on the biggest roller-coaster, but your friend says they’re afraid to go on. Why? It’s because they’re afraid of heights. You might want to encourage them to go on with you, nudge them a little to push their boundaries. So the question is, is this incident any different than the incident with your vegetarian friend? I’ll let you answer that yourself.

Encouragement is an important part of any healthy friendship. We just need to remind ourselves that there’s a fine line between encouraging a friend and expecting more of them than they can or want to handle.

3. DON’T make fun of their symptoms or their disorder unless they’re okay with it.

A person’s feelings about whether or not it’s okay to joke about their condition will vary based on their personality and what kind of disorder(s) this person has. It also depends on what kind of joke you’re telling. For example, if someone is struggling with self-harming behavior and is uncomfortable talking about it to most people, it wouldn’t be wise to joke that because you got a bad grade on an exam, you’re going to have to cut yourself.

It’s really hard to do this, but try and put yourself in their shoes by thinking about something that you’re self-conscious about, or something that you’ve told them in confidence that you don’t tell most people. Would you be okay with them joking about this thing? What if they asked you first before making jokes—would that be better? I think that most people would agree that it’s better to ask directly if something’s okay if you’re not sure whether or not it is instead of risking damaging your friendship. Just think before you speak.

4. DON’T try to be their therapist or assume you know what’s best.

Someone with a mental illness is not coming to you to be reprimanded, critiqued, or mentored for this mental illness. Unless someone asks you specifically, don’t offer advice on what they should be doing in their treatment. If they’re struggling with self-harm, don’t check them for marks.  If they’re struggling with an anxiety disorder, don’t purposefully expose them to what they fear without permission. If they’re struggling with a mood disorder, don’t force them to get out of bed when they say they can’t. If they’re struggling with an eating disorder, don’t pressure them to eat a certain amount at every meal.

These sound like protective behaviors, but they’re not for a friend to do. They’re for a therapist to do. A professional has had years of training to help people through their mental illness. You do not. Please keep that in mind.

So what can you do? Tell them that you’re there whenever they need you. Tell them that you care about them. Give them hugs and high fives. Cheer them on in their recovery from the sidelines.

5. DON’T give up on them.

I’ve been on both sides of the equation, so I know that it can be challenging to see someone you care about go through so many emotional difficulties. There have been times when I myself have wanted to walk away from amazing friendships, simply because I felt I couldn’t deal with their moods, anxieties, or anger. But if a person is truly trying their best, that’s really all you can ask of them. To give up on a friendship because things are getting tough for one or both of you is easy to do—walking away doesn’t solve the problem, but it does make it appear to go away. That’s the thing, though: it appears to go away, but that doesn’t mean that the problem is gone forever.

Part of being human is that we all make mistakes, and that no one is perfect. Part of being human is also that we are social creatures, and we thrive on interaction. As humans, being social and being imperfect makes for imperfect relationships with other humans. That’s just life. If you can’t accept someone’s mental illness as an obstacle that’s only one piece of the puzzle, then they are not the problem in the friendship; you are the problem.

And this particular problem is its own solution—it all comes down to you as a friend and a fellow human to help a friendship stay strong. Every friendship is a two-way street, so I’m not saying that you are the sole reason for a problematic friendship. What I’m really saying is that you are a half of the whole. If you truly care about a friend, you will meet them halfway and try your best to treat them with respect and kindness, no matter what kind of mental illness might get in their way from time to time. 

[swanqueeneverafter]

The Once & Future Queen Pt.8

The Enchanted Forest. Past. The Genie's Lamp, Interior. (The Genie of Agrabah is seated with a mirror. Rumbling is heard, distantly, from outside, growing louder. Sighing, he looks up and sees King Leopold stooping down to pick up the lamp.) Genie: “Here we go.” Beach. (King Leopold picks up the Lamp and rubs it to clean off some plant matter. Black smoke emerges from the lamp and the Genie appears.) Genie: “You awakened the Genie of Agrabah. You're entitled to three wishes—no more, no less. But, you must know that magic has its limits. You cannot wish for life, nor death. You cannot wish for love. You cannot wish for more wishes. And, once spoke, a wish cannot be undone, no matter what the consequences. So... tell me your first wish.” King Leopold: “Hmm. Uh... (Laughs:) Hmm. I cannot think of a single thing I desire. I have everything I need. I seek nothing more than the happiness of all who set foot in my kingdom.” Genie: “Ugh.” (He sits on some nearby driftwood.) King Leopold: (He chuckles. The Genie sighs:) “You are in my kingdom, and yet you seem unhappy.” Genie: “I have served as Genie of the Lamp for longer than you've been alive. Life as a genie is not as magical as it may appear.” King Leopold: “So you wish to be free?” Genie: “More than anything.” King Leopold: “Then I know my first wish. I wish you to be free.” Genie: (The shackles around his wrists glow and fall off with a magical sound:) “Can it be? Am I truly free?” King Leopold: “You're the genie. You tell me.” Genie: “There are two more wishes left in the lamp, what will you do with them?” King Leopold: “For my second wish... I wish to give my third and final wish to you.” (Offers the Genie the lamp.) Genie: (Taking the lamp:) “In my time, I have granted 1001 wishes, and I have seen them end poorly 1001 times. Making a wish comes with a price, and that is why I will never... use... this wish.” (Puts the lamp in a purse at his belt.) King Leopold: “You are a man of wisdom, Genie. Now tell me, what will you do with your freedom?” Genie: “Find the one thing I've always desired, that my prison has kept from me... True Love.” King Leopold: “Then you must come join me at my palace. I am certain you will find it there. Come. Meet my family.”

Enchanted Forest. Harbour. (Mulan sits beside Emma on the docks. The recent events causing an awkward silence between them.) Mulan: (Sighs:) "Look, I'm sorry about what I said. I should've been more sensitive. We're going to have to work together if we have any chance of getting home. (Looks up at Emma who seems lost in thought:) Emma?" Emma: "Do you... do you think Regina will be all right?" Mulan: (Considers the question:) "Honestly? Yes I do. (Emma looks to her:) Being separated from you because of Snow, just might be the spark Regina needed." Emma: "Will it be enough to make her-" Mulan: "Cast the Dark Curse? (Scoffs:) Yeah, I'd say so." Emma: "We only knew each other for a few days." Mulan: "Emma, you can't seriously think that you meant less to Regina than that farm boy." Emma: (Reflecting on her time spent with Regina:) "She was still so raw about it, you know? It was like Regina's heart hadn't hardened yet. Like she hadn't had time to heal before I came along." Mulan: "You met Regina at a time in her life where she needed hope the most and you gave that to her. You showed her that she could love again." Emma: "Yeah and now I'll be remembered as the reason the Dark Curse was cast." Mulan: "Hopefully, yeah. I know it sounds like a terrible thing to hope for, but ultimately Regina's curse may be the greatest thing to happen to the realms of story. Ruby often tells me that her life before it was full of pain and her years spent in Storybrooke allowed her to live without fear of being hunted. She was miserable perhaps, always longing for more, but she was safe." Emma: (Nods:) "A lot of people found another side to themselves during the curse. Some for the worse, but a lot more for the better. I just wish Regina didn't have to go through all these years of pain she's about to experience alone." Mulan: (Thinks a moment:) "Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation. Regina won't be alone, Emma. She'll have her memories of the time you spent together to keep her company." (Wordlessly, Emma leans over and hugs Mulan. Smiling in understanding, the warrior returns the embrace.)

Aladdin: (Arriving behind them:) "So, er... (Mulan and Emma turn to look up at him:) I spoke with the harbour master and the boat at the far end of the dock is headed to Agrabah." (Emma and Mulan get to their feet while Tiger Lily and Tinker Bell approach.) Emma: "So I guess this is it." Aladdin: "Yeah, I guess so." Tinker Bell: "Sorry I couldn't magic you back home, Aladdin." Aladdin: "Oh, don't worry about it. I never get to see the ocean, it'll be a unique experience for me." Emma: "After a week full of them." Aladdin: (Smiles:) "You can say that again. (Holds out his hand:) Goodbye, Emma. I hope you find your way home." Emma: (Shaking his hand:) "Thanks, stay out of trouble." Aladdin: "I think we both know that's unlikely." (Winks.) (While Aladdin hugs Tink goodbye, Tiger Lily talks with Emma.) Emma: "So where should we try next? Obviously we can't stay in the Enchanted Forest with Snow on our tail." Tiger Lily: "Actually, about that. I think I'm going to travel with Tink for awhile. Adjusting to life without your wings can be pretty tough on your own." Emma: "You're not coming with us?" Tiger Lily: (Shrugs:) "I don't really have all that much waiting for me back home." Emma: "But wait, won't you bump into your past self at some point?" Tiger Lily: "Not if we travel to Neverland." Emma: "You can catch a boat there?" Tiger Lily: (Smiles:) "No, but there's one that travels pretty close. I have enough Pixie dust to take me and Tink the rest of the way." Emma: "Sounds like you've got it all figured out. (Leans in to hug her:) I'm going to miss you, you know?" Tiger Lily: "We'll see each other again someday. Or I'll see you at least. Don't worry, I promise to keep out of sight when Team Henry arrive on the island." Tinker Bell: (Joining them:) "Team Henry? What's that?" Tiger Lily: (Chuckles:) "Don't worry, I'll explain later." Tinker Bell: "Okay. Well, I guess this is it?" Emma: (Smiles:) "Thanks, Tink, for everything. I'm sorry how things turned out." Tinker Bell: "Oh, I'll be all right. I was always on thin ice with Blue anyway. I think she was jealous of my skills personally." Emma: "I think so, too." (They hug.) Tiger Lily: "Knowing Blue as well as I do, I'd agree wholeheartedly." (Waving farewell to the former fairies, Emma turns to see Mulan talking with a familiar looking pirate.) Mulan: (Emma walks over:) "Emma, this is Captain-" Emma: "Blackbeard. I know." Blackbeard: "You do?" Emma: "Yeah, er, your legend proceeds you, Captain." Blackbeard: "Oh. Well, of course." Mulan: "The Captain here has agreed to take us to my homeland." Emma: "Your homeland? Why?" Mulan: "I might know someone there who could help us." Emma: (Shrugs:) "It's worth a shot." Blackbeard: "Your friend was also telling me that you have no money." Emma: "Ah, no, we don't." Blackbeard: "I see. Well, ladies, the Queen Anne's Revenge is not a day cruiser. If you wish safe passage you're going to have to work for it." Emma: "Not a problem, I have some experience." Blackbeard: (Looking her up and down:) "I'll bet you do." Mulan: "Do we have a deal?" Blackbeard: "Mm. Very well, we leave in an hour. However, as Captain I reserve the right to throw you both overboard if you don't pull your weight." Emma: (Salutes:) "Aye Aye, Captain." (Blackbeard scoffs and walks towards the nearest tavern.)

Storybrooke. Present. Swan-Mills House. (Dr. Hopper has dropped by to speak with Regina while Zelena busies herself putting together a crib by the fireplace.) Archie: "So, it's been over a week now since Emma's disappearance. I was curious as to why you haven't come to see me?" Regina: "Well it may have slipped your notice, but I've had other things keeping me busy." Archie: "Yes, the crisis with the Dorocha and of course, raising your child alone." Regina: "Raising Maria is one of the few things keeping me sane, Doctor. As for being alone, I have more family now than I know what to do with." (Zelena curses loudly as the crib falls to pieces, much to Maria's amusement.) Archie: "Yes, I can see that. Still, I had hoped that I would see you. Given your history with personal loss, there-" Regina: "Emma is not lost, she is missing. There is a distinct difference." Archie: "Yes, of course." Regina: "Now, do I miss her? (Regina gasps, trying to keep her emotions in check:) To say I miss Emma would be a major understatement. I love her so much that I feel a part is missing from me." Archie: (Nods:) "I understand." Regina: "You can't possibly understand. (Takes a breath:) But, like I've said, there's nothing I can do for her right now. So I've been focusing on other things. The situation in Camelot. Being there for my sister who's pretty much been driven crazy with worry over Robin Hood. Although she'll never admit it. (Another loud string of expletives erupt from Zelena before she throws the crib instructions into the fireplace:) Zelena! Watch your language. (To Archie:) I swear we'll be lucky if Maria's first word isn't a curse." Archie: (Chuckles:) "Like mother like daughter." Regina: "Not that kind of curse, you buffoon." The Daily Mirror Newspaper Offices. (Archie sits down with the Reporter.) Archie: "Clearly Regina is hurting, as we all are. Emma and Mulan are a big part of Storybrooke's community. Emma moreso, being Sheriff and wife of the Mayor. But we've gotten to know Mulan more through Ruby so, thinking about it, it's about equal." Reporter: "And Tiger Lily? She too vanished through the portal." Archie: "I can't say I know much about her. Other than she was Rumplestiltskin and Morgause's Fairy Godmother." Reporter: "Both of whom went on to become fierce practitioners of dark magic." Archie: "Yes, that's true but I don't think you can blame Tiger Lily for that." Reporter: "I wasn't, but it's interesting your thoughts went in that direction. Surely as the town's psychiatrist, you believe we are all responsible for our own actions?" Archie: "Why yes of course-" Reporter: "And yet when the original Dark Curse was broken, the people were quick to blame Regina for their miserable lives. Perhaps their thoughts turned to revenge after years spent listening to your advice and following your moral code?" Archie: "Now wait just a minute-" Reporter: "The people were ready to lynch Regina for what she'd done, weren't they, Doctor?" Archie: "I was the one who convinced them to stop-" Reporter: "Now that's just not true, is it Dr. Hopper? According to eye witnesses, it was Emma who ultimately stepped in to protect Regina from the mob." Archie: "Well yes, that is true." Reporter: "So on the verge of being attacked by the entire town, Regina's only savior was an outsider?" Archie: "I guess you could say that." Reporter: "I am saying that." Archie: "I'm sorry but, is there a point to this line of questioning?" Reporter: "My point, Doctor, is that in light of what happened back then, combined with Emma's current absence, maybe Regina feels duty bound to continue putting herself in harm's way to protect herself?" Archie: "I'm not sure I follow you?" Reporter: "Perhaps Regina realises that as soon as she's no longer of use to the people of this town, the mob might just turn on her again?" Archie: (Shaking his head:) "No, Regina's changed now. We all have." Reporter: "Then answer me just one last question." Archie: "All right..." Reporter: "Should Morgana Pendragon one day be caught, what do you expect the people's reaction to be? Will she be given a fair trial, or will she too be met with the wrath of those she's wronged?" Archie: "I... honestly can't say." Reporter: "Thank you, Doctor Hopper. That's all the questions I have for now."

Morgana's Hovel. (Morgana holds up a medallion with a snake-tree on it and incants a spell.) Morgana: “Astige ðu wyrm fah ond geþéowe ðæt mod ðisse þeowes. Hine bind ond ða heold. Awendaþ he ealle!” (Morgana’s eyes glow and she casts the medallion into the flames. The flames flare, the firelight dancing in her eyes. A hiss rises out of the metal bowl as the flames disappear. The snake-tree has come to life. Morgana smiles. Turning at the sound of footsteps, Morgana looks up to see Anastasia lead Will into the hovel.) Will: “Oh bloody hell. I knew it was a trap. (To Anastasia:) How could you do this to me?” Morgana: “Don’t be so hard on Anastasia. I assure you, she had no choice.” Wonderland. Recent Past. (Drizella and Anastasia ride side by side on a horse-drawn carriage.) Drizella: “Why did I agree to this? You just know there’s zero cell reception out here.” Anastasia: “Oh cheer up, grumpy guts. You survived your entire life without a phone, a few hours spent without it won’t kill you. Besides, it’s a lovely day for a ride.” Drizella: “Well, that depends where we're going.” Anastasia: “Where it all began, Darling.” A Short Time Later. (Having ridden ever deeper into Wonderland’s dense forest, Anastasia pulls the horses to a stop seemingly in the middle of nowhere.) Drizella: “What is this place? (Anastasia steps down from the carriage:) What are we doing here?” Anastasia: (Excitedly:) “I found it, Drizzy. Our old wagon. The one we came to Wonderland in all those years ago.” Drizella: (Steps down from the carriage:) “It’s still here?” Anastasia: “Yes, come look. (They walk a short distance between several trees:) See? I found it when I was out here searching for Will. I didn’t want to go inside until we came here together.” Drizella: (Scoffs:) “You first. (At Anastasia’s look:) Ana, seriously, why would I want to see some smelly old wagon?” Anastasia: “Because for the longest time, it was our only home.” Drizella: “Yeah and those aren’t memories I care to remember. Call me if you find something interesting, but I’ll wait out here.” Anastasia: (Rolls her eyes:) “Fine.” (Striding forward, Anastasia uses her powers to open the wagon doors.)

Drizella: (Calling after her:) "Show off! (Climbing the steps, Anastasia enters the wagon. Looking around she sees several items of clothing, including a familiar pink dress she wore in her younger days. Rummaging through various cases Anastasia is overwhelmed by the memories of a much simpler time. Hearing Drizella call out to her, Anastasia stands and pokes her head out of the wagon door to see Drizella being held hostage by Agravaine:) I'm sorry, Ana, they came out of nowhere." Anastasia: "It's all right, Drizzy." Agravaine: "It appears, Your Majesty, that we're on your side of the board." Morgana: (Stepping forward:) "Looks like you're running out of moves, too." Anastasia: (Standing tall:) "You may have compromised a few pieces, but in the game of chess there's only one Queen, and she's more powerful than them all put together.” Morgana: “Perhaps, but I didn’t come here to play games.” Anastasia: “Neither did I.” (Anastasia sends a fireball towards Morgana who casually disappears.) Morgana: (Her voice echoing around the clearing:) “You'll have to do better than that, Your Majesty.” Anastasia: (Spins around uneasily, wary of an attack at any moment:) “What's the matter?! You afraid, Morgana?!” Morgana: (Still unseen:) “I'm not the one trembling. (Anastasia conjures a sword and points it towards Agravaine who is still holding Drizella hostage:) I can taste your dread. (Finally appearing behind Anastasia:) Your fear.” (Anastasia turns and charges, impaling Morgana with her sword and pinning her against a tree.) Agravaine: “Morgana!” Morgana: (Gasps as Anastasia backs away, then chuckles:) “No mortal blade can harm me. (Morgana vanishes the blade currently penetrating her abdomen and stalks towards Anastasia:) Enough foreplay.” (Morgana punches Anastasia, knocking her to the ground. Drizella’s screams are the last thing Ana hears before passing out.)

Enchanted Forest. Past. (Wracked by stormy seas, the Queen Anne's Revenge is at the mercy of Poseidon as all hands are on deck. Emma and Mulan cling to whatever they can to remain standing. Blackbeard, still full of bluster and bravado, barks orders at everyone.) Blackbeard: "Heave, lads! I want crew aloft! Quick as you can! We must reduce the windage, or we'll sink. (Glancing at Mulan and Emma with a smirk:) Hang on, ladies. Things are about to get rougher!" Morgana’s Hovel. Present. (Morgana douses Will with a bucket of water and he jolts awake, hanging from the ceiling by his wrists.) Morgana: “Good morning.” Will: (Breathing heavy:) “Is it?” Morgana: “Oh, don’t be like that. We have a lot of catching up to do. Pleased to meet you, Will Scarlett. I am Morgana Pendragon.” Will: “Yeah, I know who you are. You’re the nutcase who tore open the veil.” Morgana: “And you’re the one who allowed Robin Hood to reseal it.” Will: “Robin. (Looks away for a moment, then back at Morgana. Defiantly:) He did it then. Robin became the hero he wanted to be and stopped your evil plans.” Morgana: “It seems so. However, while your friend’s quest may be at an end, your suffering is about to begin.” Will: “You know I’ve been wondering when my next round of misery was coming. It’s been over a week, so clearly I’m overdue some.” Anastasia: (Looking on while chained to the wall:) “Don’t kill him, please!” Morgana: “Oh, he’s not going to die. Oh, no. I’m not going to make it that easy. You know, there’s one thing I don’t understand, Will. You’re nothing more than a servant at best and a thief at worst. Yet, time and again, you’ve proved yourself to be a very capable ally to many in Wonderland and now in Storybrooke. (Morgana grabs his face:) Why is that?”

Will: “Just always in the right place at the right time I suppose. Or the wrong time, depending on your point of view.” Morgana: “You’re wrong. I think people have underestimated your abilities for far too long. (Returning to the metal bowl from earlier, Morgana lifts the cloche to reveal the hissing snake-tree:) I take it you’ve never met a Fomorroh before? (The Fomorroh hisses and Morgana giggles evilly:) Aw, he’s a little grumpy. (Morgana pets the Fomorroh:) He’s not used to being out in the light. No, my friend, I’ve called you from your depths for a very good reason. (Morgana takes a dagger and slices off one of the Fomorroh’s heads. It writhes, still alive, and another head grows back on the main body. Will and Anastasia look on, unsettled:) Fomorroh are creatures of dark magic. Even if you cut off their heads, you cannot kill them. Another will just grow in its place. (Will glares at Morgana, dreading what’s coming:) In the days of the Old Religion, they were revered by the High Priestesses as they allowed them to control people’s minds. (Morgana approaches Will menacingly and he glares at her, disgusted:) The Fomorroh will suck the life force out of you. Everything that makes you Will Scarlett will be gone. And in its place there will be just one thought. One thought that will grow until it’s consumed you completely. (Morgana moves over to Anastasia who is chained helplessly by the hands:) One thought that will be your life’s work. Allow me to demonstrate. (Grabbing Anastasia by the hair and pinning her against the mouth of the pit as Drizella looks up helplessly. Breathing into Anastasia’s ear:) You will not be able to rest until it’s done. And for you that one thought is simple. You must kill Xena and Gabrielle. (Morgana places the Fomorroh at Anastasia’s neck and it burrows into it, making her writhe in pain. The creature squirms under the surface of her skin. Turning to Will:) See how it works? Good. (Morgana’s eyes glow. She grabs Will’s face again:) Now it’s your turn.”

[juju-on-that-yeet]

Unravel, Chapter 13/20

Work Summary: Antisepticeye has a plan to destroy Darkiplier, steal his power, and take over everything - and he might just succeed. What starts with Yandereplier going missing evolves into a messy web of betrayal and grief, of blood and tears, of old wounds and new faces. However this ends, Ego Inc. will never be the same again. Chapter Summary: Anti invades Ego Inc. with a host of puppets to continue his reign of destruction. What little warning the egos receive beforehand may not be enough. Warnings: Major character death, blood, gore, body horror, intense grief

Read on AO3

Enjoy!

~

The first warning the egos get, the one that they know will be the last before Anti strikes, is an urgent message sent to the control room from another figment. No one but a figment could ever find Ego Inc. in the first place, and no one but a particularly intelligent figment could ever break through Ego Inc.’s firewalls to send a message.

Wilford is so angry to find out about the security breach – not the first one in recent memory, of course – that he nearly shoots Google until Google tells him what the message actually is: A transmission from none other than Professor Beauregard, straight from her laboratory. Wilford and the Googles watch the message before calling a meeting to share it with the others.

So Dr. Iplier finds himself sitting in a room filled with an all-too-familiar dread, surrounded by people who don’t trust him nearly as much as they did before. The Host is sitting beside him as has become typical, but the other egos are giving him as wide a berth as possible. Though there aren’t enough chairs at the table to fit every ego, the chair beside Dr. Iplier that Host isn’t in remains empty as the room fills with people. Yandere in particular is sitting as far away as he can, beside Damien of all people. Dr. Iplier still hasn’t spoken to Yandere after everything, and considering the glare Yandere shoots him, it’s probably a good thing that Dr. Iplier’s left him alone. He seems to be well-healed physically, at least, and Dr. Iplier is glad for it. It’s one of precious few things he has to be glad for right now.

This time there is no intro; the meeting alert had all the pertinent information. Once the room is full of egos, Wilford merely nods to Google, and the room’s TV flickers to life and reveals Professor Beauregrad, up close and clearly fiddling with the camera she’s filming herself with.

“It’s on? It’s on!” she says, “Okay.” She clears her throat and settles into a chair she’s placed a few feet away. She looks right into the camera. “I’ll keep this short. Anti is here in LA, and he’s on his way to Ego Inc. I’ve done the calculations, and though Anti is quite unpredictable, I’m nearly 97% certain that he will go after you all once he’s added the most powerful figments in the area to his…arsenal, I suppose one could call it. I’ve had other egos reach out to me about what’s happening, and it appears Anti is gathering an army of puppets. He already has all the Septics, and he definitely has more. He wants the most powerful players to destroy you with, and he’s gotten them.” Her speech is broken by a sudden loud bang, and she jumps before resuming. “Ugh, of course. Anyway, the rest of us are either too weak or too few to stop him. It’s going to have to be you.” Another series of bangs occurs, and Beauregard gets up and walks off-camera briefly, returning with a futuristic gun nearly as big as she is. She sets it on her lap as she sits, keeping one hand on the trigger. “I’ll do my best here, and I might be able to take down a couple people, but definitely not Anti.” She shakes her head. “How the hell did this happen, anyway? The stories I’ve heard…they seem impossible, but they have to be true. Sometimes science is believing what you can’t see.” A purple haze rises in the air, and Beauregard swears to herself, reaching to her left and grabbing something off a desk. She brings a gas mask into view, pulling it over her head and quickly tightening the straps. After a few cautious breaths, she returns her focus to the camera. “I hope you can still hear me. You can see Anti has Natemare, at least.” The lights flicker, and the sound of several different people laughing discordantly fills the air. “I’m sorry I’m not more helpful. At the very least, I doubt you’ll see me when Anti shows up. Other than my gadgets, I don’t have much he’d want.” Static stripes over the screen, and Beauregard sighs, eyes steely. “Of course, this message won’t even go through unless Anti wants it to. But I think he’ll let it, knowing him. He does love an audience. Just…stop him. Kill him. And, I hate to say it, but don’t be afraid to kill his puppets. Once Anti has all us figments in his hand…I can’t begin to calculate the damage he’d do to humanity. He absolutely cannot get that far, even if some of our own have to die.” Static clouds the screen over once again, so thick Beauregard can hardly be seen, and the audio becomes fuzzy. The egos can only barely see a figure appear behind Beauregard’s chair, only just make out black tendrils beginning to swarm her body. It’s the last frame they get before the footage is only static for several long moments. A voice is heard; a familiar, scratchy tone.

“Twenty-four hours. Be ready, Ipliers.”

A cackling, strangely echoing laugh, then silence.

The egos are silent in their horror. Dr. Iplier looks at Host, sees his downturned brow and tight jaw. Dr. Iplier can’t help but look at Yandere, too, and is alarmed to see Yandere staring intently at the screen. Damien notices too, and taps Yandere’s shoulder, concerned. Yandere shakes his head, as though snapping himself out of something, and looks back at Damien in a way that’s probably meant to be reassuring. This all happens to the ignorance of the other egos, who are still processing what they’ve just seen. Wilford is angry but calm, and when he speaks, his tone reflects it.

“That’s our warning. I’m willing to bet Anti’ll be showing up here tomorrow right when he said he will. He likes a challenge too much to sneak up on us. That means we need to figure out how to defeat him, and who will be fighting him, in less than twenty-four hours.” Wilford sits up a little straighter. “I’ll be a part of it, obviously. I might have a shot of pulling Dark’s aura away from Anti, but if Anti’s got an army, I need one, too.” He looks at Host, then Bim. “I expect help from the other two reality-benders in the room, at the very least.”

Host and Bim both nod. Dr. Iplier squeezes Host’s hand under the table. He can’t help but fear what could happen to Host in a fight like this, what Anti might do to him. But Host has no fear, and he squeezes Dr. Iplier’s hand back without looking in his direction. He’s clearly ready for a fight, and Dr. Iplier supposes that’s better than the alternative.

“Google,” Wilford continues, looking towards the android, “What about you? Other than me and Host and Bim, you’re the heaviest hitter we’ve got.”

“That is correct,” Google agrees, but he doesn’t get any further than that before his extensions jump in.

“But Google joining the battle would be unwise,” Plus interjects.

“If Anti is so much stronger than before, he could easily get into Google’s system,” Chrome points out.

“He could get hurt or killed,” Oliver insists, “Or Anti could make him hurt or kill somebody else!”

“Anti will not be the only combatant,” Google says, terse, turning in his seat to address the triplets. “I will focus my attention on someone who cannot possess me, and Anti will be preoccupied by, in all likelihood, Wilford.”

“He knows your command words,” Chrome snaps, “He’d have no problems with taking advantage of them if he had the need, or even the want.”

“I can alter my audio settings to block him out,” Google retorts, “Or mute my audio feed altogether if necessary. I do not need sound to fight.”

“Well, if you’re fighting, then we should too!” Oliver shouts.

Google blinks.

“That does not lower the risk,” Google deadpans. “If anything, it increases it.”

“We’re as strong as you are,” Plus says, standing straighter, “If Anti has an army, we need all the muscle we can get.”

“And like hell you’re doing this without us,” Chrome mutters.

Google stares at his brothers, and they stare back. For several long moments they don’t speak, but Dr. Iplier guesses they’re using their internal communication network to hash out their argument. All four androids are equally stubborn, and in the end, numbers win out, because eventually Google sighs and turns away from his brothers, looking at Wilford again.

“All four of us will be fighting,” Google states, clearly still annoyed. The triplets visibly relax.

“Alright,” Wilford nods, pleased. “I think that should be–”

“Me too!” yells a new voice.

Yandere.

The whole table whips around to gape at him, Dr. Iplier included. He should’ve expected this, he knows he should’ve, but it’s blindsided him all the same. After all the torment, all the sleepless nights and paranoia and isolation and fear and lies, after watching Yandere be tortured and getting him back after a month apart only to break his heart, Dr. Iplier can’t let Yandere get in danger again. He can feel his heart start pounding faster. He can’t let Anti hurt his boy, not again.

“What?” Wilford sputters. “Yanny, I know you’re tough, but–”

“I’m fighting too!” Yandere shouts, eyes blazing with determination and fiery anger. “I’m strong, I’m fully healed, and I know how to fight! You need more fighters, so let me fight, too!”

“Absolutely not!!” Dr. Iplier yells, standing from his seat. The other egos start to murmur, but Dr. Iplier ignores them. “If you think you’re going to fight Anti after he already spent a month torturing you, you are sorely mistaken!”

“You’re not the fucking boss of me!” Yandere screams back, jumping out of his own seat. “I can fight if I want to, and I want to!” Yandere’s eyes flash. “I want to make Guritchi pay for what he did to me, and to Yami!!”

“That’s exactly why you can’t fight,” Dr. Iplier says, voice low and authoritative, “You’re too emotionally invested to fight strategically, and Anti will take advantage of that.”

Before, that tone was enough to make Yandere cower. But now, Yandere only seems to get even more fired up.

“And whose fault is that?” Yandere spits, “Besides, didn’t someone make Guritchi promise not to hurt me in return for Yami’s fucking aura??”

“He promised not to kill you,” Dr. Iplier reminds him, “And that was only for when he had you in his cabin. You really think he’d leave you alone now?”

“Did you think he would when you had him make that promise?” Yandere bites back.

Dr. Iplier has no good answer. He closes his mouth, ashamed.

“Wil,” Yandere begs, turning away from Dr. Iplier to look at Wilford, “Let me join, please. I have to do this.”

Wilford frowns and considers. Dr. Iplier looks at him too, silently begging for him to refuse Yandere. But Wilford has always been overindulgent of Yandere, always spoiled him and given him his way, and Dr. Iplier fears he’ll do that again. Sure enough, Wilford eventually sighs, relenting.

“Fine,” he says, “You can fight, but you better keep your head, got it?”

Yandere nods, and Dr. Iplier sighs shakily. Both sit down, and Yandere refuses to meet Dr. Iplier’s eyes. Dr. Iplier leans against Host, emotionally exhausted.

“Do we need anymore?” Wilford asks no one in particular, “I always say the more the merrier, but…”

“This is a good amount,” Host pipes up, “Any more participants risks the fight becoming too hectic. We must also consider where the egos who cannot fight will stay. If they are out in the open or near the fight, they will surely be killed.” Host represses a shudder; Dr. Iplier can just barely feel it. “The Host has seen it happen.”

“They’ll have to hide somewhere,” Bim murmurs thoughtfully, “But where?”

“…Perhaps in the clinic?” offers Damien. “Celine is already there, and if any of us are hurt, we’ll be right there.”

It’s an effort to speak up again, but Dr. Iplier makes it.

“That won’t work,” he says, unable to put any energy in his voice, “There’s no area or room big enough to hold everyone, and if any of Anti’s puppets follow you in, they could end up destroying medical supplies or breaking equipment. We’ll definitely need those after this fight.”

The egos consider.

“Wilford’s studio,” Oliver suggests, “It’s pretty big, and if all the filming stuff is put away somewhere else, it’ll be pretty empty, too. Celine can be moved in there easily, since it’s on the same floor as the clinic.”

“That works,” Wilford agrees, “But Doc, what was that about…about a puppet following them?”

The egos look at Dr. Iplier, wary but not hostile.

“There’s a chance Anti might send a puppet or two after the others,” Dr. Iplier explains, “If his goal is to take the powerful ones and kill the weaker ones, and he’s gotten so much stronger, then…I don’t see why he’d wait until he’d already done the former to do the latter.”

The other egos switch their gaze to Host, searching for confirmation. Even without sight, Host can perceive their stares.

“That is a possibility,” he confirms. “The Host has seen that happen as well.”

Another pause, a bit longer this time. No one wants to imagine the weaker egos getting slaughtered, least of all those egos.

“Someone’s gonna have to protect them,” Wilford muses.

A third pause. Bing of all people is the one to break the silence.

“Well, if I’m not gonna be fighting, like, actively,” Bing says, “I could be the one to watch out for us, right?”

“You? Please,” Google scoffs.

“I’m as tough as you are!” Bing huffs. “We’re both super-strong androids, aren’t we? If you can fight then I can protect the others!”

“Me too,” Silver Shepherd pipes up, voice quiet but steady. “I’m strong, I know how to fight, and…protecting people is what I do.” He looks at Bing. “The two of us can keep the others safe.”

Wilford seems skeptical.

“Me too, aye?” Captain Magnum suddenly says. Illinois and Yancy, who are standing beside him, give him incredulous looks. “If ye haven’t noticed, I’ve got quite a bit of meat on me bones, and some hardiness from me years on the sea. Oh, and this beauty.” He unholsters a heavy, mean-looking flintlock pistol. The other egos can’t help but stare.

“Hell no!” Wilford shouts, “You’re way too young of an ego, it’s too risky!” Magnum frowns and sadly puts away his pistol as Wilford thinks for a moment and sighs. “Silver and Bing are really all I’ve got, huh? Alright, fine.”

“Wow, thanks for, like, the vote of confidence, bossman,” Bing gripes. Silver doesn’t speak, but looks resigned.

“What happens if someone gets hurt?” Bim brings up. “If Anti or one his puppets badly hurts someone, and it can’t wait until the fight is over? Dr. Iplier would have to help them, but he can’t be in two places at once.”

“Well…” Dr. Iplier begins, thinking out loud, “Wilford is the only one of us who can teleport. So if someone got hurt and I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t be able to get there anytime quickly without him. Meaning that it would make the most sense for me to be where he is.”

Yandere scoffs. Wilford also seems doubtful, but Dr. Iplier meets his gaze evenly.

“Couldn’t you just as easily stay with the others?” Wilford asks, “If someone in the fight needs you, we could contact you and I’ll go get you.”

“That’s an extra step during which someone could be bleeding out,” Dr. Iplier replies, “And I’d imagine the most severe injuries would happen in the main fight. If the others needed me, Silver has his communicator, and he could contact me directly.”

Silver seems heartened by someone showing faith in him, and Wilford thinks for a long moment.

“Fair enough,” he says, “That means you’re with us, then. And we know how we’ll keep in contact, so that covers planning for the fight. As for the fight itself…”

“It is possible for us to take back Dark’s aura in this fight,” Host says, “But it will require The Host, Bim, and Wilford working together. Anti will also need to be weakened before we can remove the aura from him, but not killed.”

“Not killed?” Wilford asks, disappointed.

“The reason why is unclear,” Host explains, “But The Host believes that the aura will cling much tighter to Anti if he is killed, the same way it has done to Dark when he has been killed in the past. The Host has seen futures in which we have killed Anti but been unable to retrieve Dark’s aura before he wakes.”

“We have The Cell,” Google points out, “Don’t we put him in there?”

“He always escapes,” Host says quietly, “And the futures resulting from that outcome are the worst of them all.”

Everyone is silent for many moments after that.

“Alright, I think this meeting is over,” Wilford sighs, “Host and Bim, stay here so we can talk more about strategy. Google, you and your brothers clear all the equipment out of my studio for tomorrow. Everyone else, just…get ready.”

For once, the meeting ends in silence. Everyone walks out of the room in a daze, like none of them can believe what’s happening. Dr. Iplier can hardly believe it either. Somehow it’s not the thought of being so close to the action that scares him, but the thought of those he loves being in the thick of it, of being in the most danger. He gets up to leave, and Host stays in his seat as Wilford ordered. Dr. Iplier leans down to kiss Host, and Host whispers a narration to meet his lips. There’s no need for anything else to be said. Dr. Iplier is one of the last to exit the meeting room, and instead of returning to his clinic to check on Celine or prepare a medical kit for tomorrow, he heads a few floors higher.

He knows Yandere won’t be happy to see him tomorrow. He knows better than to try to talk to Yandere right before the fight, to distract him even more than Yandere’s own rage will. But he has to speak to him. He can’t leave things unsaid between them, not before something so huge.

Still, it takes him nearly a minute to work up the courage to knock on Yandere’s door.

“Who is it?” Yandere asks, pleasant but not happy.

“It’s me, Yan,” Dr. Iplier says. He has to stop himself from calling Yandere “kid” or “love” or “son.” “Can you please let me in?”

“No,” Yandere responds immediately, “Go away.”

“Can we at least talk? Tomorrow’s going to be insane, to say the least, and I just–”

“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care.”

“All I want to say is that…is that I love you. No matter what happens, I love you. And I want you to be careful tomorrow. Please just let the reality-benders take care of Anti.”

A pause from the other side of the door. Dr. Iplier is beginning to wonder if Yandere has decided to ignore him when he finally speaks.

“You know that topaz necklace that Yami gave me for my first birthday?”

“Yes…What does–”

“Did you know I wear it? All the time? Under my shirt, usually, so it doesn’t get scratched or broken, but I always have it on during the day. Or if I’m gonna fight someone, I have a little case I put it in, and I can keep it there so it doesn’t get dirty. It’s got…” Yandere’s voice wobbles. “It’s got blood on it from…from when I was with Guritchi. I don’t know if he ever noticed my necklace, maybe he didn’t care, or he didn’t know what it means to me. He didn’t take it or try to break it. But it’s got blood on the chain now that still won’t come out.”

“Yan…” Dr. Iplier’s heart aches for his boy, for the hurt his little one’s gone through.

“While you were killing Yami, Guritchi was getting blood on the best present Yami ever gave me.” Yandere starts to whimper. “He ruined everything and you helped him. I’m never going to forgive you.”

Again, Dr. Iplier should’ve known. He should’ve expected this. But it still spears his heart right through with despair.

“I still love you,” he whispers, voice shaky, “I’m always going to love you. Please be safe tomorrow.”

“Whatever.” Yandere’s tone is cold and angry.

Once again, there’s no need to say anything more. There’s nothing more for Dr. Iplier to say. He walks away from Yandere’s door with a heavy heart, returns to his clinic to check on Celine and make a med kit in a haze.

In the evening, Host comes in needing a bandage change. But Dr. Iplier suspects he would’ve come in regardless of his bandages. After Dr. Iplier does it, Host doesn’t say anything, just puts his arms around Dr. Iplier, holds him close. As much as Dr. Iplier needs it, as much as he melts into Host’s arms, he can tell by the way he’s being held that Host is seeking comfort, too.

“You scared, too?” he asks, quiet and sad.

“Yes,” Host admits, “There are so many ways tomorrow could go. I can’t tire myself searching for the most likely possibility so soon before the fight. For lack of a better phrase, I…I’m going in blind.”

If the situation were less dire and Dr. Iplier less upset, he’d chuckle a little. Instead, he huddles himself closer to Host, holds on tighter.

“I’m worried for you,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, “And I’m worried for Yandere, too. He’s so reckless, and he’s so full of anger right now, I just know he’s going to do something he shouldn’t.”

“What about you?” Host retorts, “You’re going to be right next to this fight. There are futures where you’re hurt.” He squeezes so tight it almost hurts. “There are futures where I lose you. Anti would love to kill the person who takes care of us all.”

“I’ll be careful,” Dr. Iplier replies, “As careful as I can be while still helping those who need it. And you and the others will be keeping Anti busy.”

There’s a long moment of silence that Host breaks.

“Someone will get hurt,” he says darkly, “At least one person will be badly hurt, and one of us may die, whether it’s someone fighting or one of the weaker egos. Even if we defeat Anti, we won’t come out unscathed. That is the only certainty.”

That chilling “if” makes Dr. Iplier’s blood run cold. He can think of nothing to say.

He and Host sleep together in Dr. Iplier’s bed that night, clinging to each other like they’ll never get another chance. Dr. Iplier keeps wanting to look at Host’s time of death, at those numbers over his head showing how long he has to live, but he’s too afraid. He doesn’t know what he’d do if Host’s time is short, if the numbers are red, if his fate is sealed and imminent.

Instead, despite having Host there beside him, Dr. Iplier falls into an uneasy, fitful sleep.

~~~

The next morning, a few hours before Anti’s twenty-four hour time limit is set to end, the weaker egos are ushered into the studio by Silver and Bing. The egos are a sea of scared faces, even the more stoic among them are clearly nervous about what’s to come. The only snag occurs when the Jims hug Bim goodbye and refuse to let him go, resulting in Silver and Bing each having to pry a Jim away and carry him off (and in Oliver having to console a now-distraught Bim). Plus helps Dr. Iplier move Celine onto a stretcher, but Damien insists on helping him transport Celine into the studio. He’s calmer than Dr. Iplier would’ve expected, but he’s still a shade paler than normal and his hands shake slightly. He hugs Wilford goodbye, and Wilford hugs back like he, too, doesn’t want to let go. Before long, Wilford is teleporting the group of fighters to the lobby of the building – a space that’s wide and high-ceilinged and big enough for a fight – to await Anti’s arrival.

Dr. Iplier looks around himself. He’s a bit behind the others, out of the line of fire, but he can see enough of them from where he is to know how everyone feels. The Googles stand together, all silent and stoic, even Oliver. Despite being physically identical, they’ve never looked as similar as they do now. Bim has recovered from his moment with the Jims, and his jaw is set, his hands already glow a soft purple. Yandere’s eyes are already blazing red and his fingers are twitching, ready to grab his katana and swing. Host is practically a statue, not even narrating as he stands, sightless gaze pointed ahead and one hand holding his baseball bat. Wilford is vibrating, just as angry as Yandere but as calm as everyone else, hands clenched in fists, ready to beat Anti into submission. As badly as Yandere wants to get his hands on Anti, Dr. Iplier can’t imagine anyone who wants to destroy Anti right now more than Wilford.

Finally, after forever and not long enough, Anti arrives. He teleports to the front of the lobby not in a glitch, but in a puff of smoke, and Dr. Iplier can immediately see the influence Dark’s aura has had on him.

Last time he saw Anti, the aura was coiling around him, interested but not yet integrated. Now, Anti is surrounded in the dark smoke, his skin greenish-gray, his glitches more measured, more controlled, slower, just like Dark’s were. Figments can feel power, and even being across the room from Anti makes Dr. Iplier want to flinch and hide. He’s as sharp-toothed as ever, though, just as long-clawed, just as arrogant and self-assured. He’s grinning like he’s already won, but he’s alone.

“Anti,” Wilford says, low and tense.

“Glad to see you brought the welcoming committee,” Anti teases, looking over the group. His eyebrows raise when his eyes fall on Yandere. “I’m surprised they let you come along, gaki.”

Yandere’s cheeks turn red, and Dr. Iplier can see him puff up in anger like an angry cat. By some miracle, he refrains from charging at Anti, but trembles with the effort of holding himself back.

“If it’s just you…” Wilford drawls, cracking his knuckles.

“Oh no,” Anti laughs, “I just wanted to see what I’m working with here. You know, teleporting around is so much easier now! I can go wherever I’ve been, and wherever Dark’s been! And I don’t need to go through technology to do it. I don’t know why Dark ever walked anywhere.” He poofs away for a long moment, and when he returns, he has company. “I think this should be good enough.”

Other egos, enough for a true battle. All the Septics are there, even Jackieboy Man, all of them with a slight gray tint to their skin, all of them with deep eye bags, all of them glaring and ready for a fight. Dr. Iplier’s heart sinks to see Henrik among them, scalpel in hand and glaring mercilessly. He looks over and sees Bim visibly disheartened at the sight of Marvin, and Host clenching his jaw tighter to see Jameson back under Anti’s control. But it’s not just the Septics Anti’s showed up with. Peevils is there, smirking almost like Anti is. MadPat’s burnt and scarred face is split in a wide grin, both hands holding his chainsaw – reinforced with a flamethrower attachment – aloft. Phantom and Natemare stand beside each other, Phantom’s scepter glowing with power and Natemare surrounded by his own purple smoke. Anti turns to him with a smile.

“Go find out where the other Ipliers are hiding,” he says, “Give them a little “hello” from me.” Natemare grins and vanishes in a puff of purple.

All the Ipliers are unnerved. If Natemare finds the other egos, his fear smoke will get in their heads, terrify them into submission, and maybe even make them turn on each other in fear. Not only that, but the smoke itself is toxic, and if anyone breathes it in for too long they’re as good as dead. The studio is a large room with high ceilings, but even that might not be enough to disperse the smoke. There’s not much time to ponder it, though, because Anti rolls his neck in an all-too-familiar gesture and beckons the egos forward.

“Who wants some?” he cackles gleefully.

No one wastes any time.

Wilford launches forward, straight for Anti. Anti merely flicks his wrist, a cue to Jackie that sends him barreling into Wilford, intercepting him. Yandere can’t contain himself anymore and charges with a scream. Anti doesn’t flinch, only sends Phantom after him. Yandere brings his katana down on Phantom’s scepter instead of Anti’s head. Bim and Host move forward, Anti sends Marvin and Jameson to meet them. Peevils rushes Google, spiky insect limbs springing from her sides, wings from her back, and mandibles from her mouth. Robbie lumbers for Chrome with a feral roar, MadPat giggles wildly and flings himself at Plus, swinging his chainsaw around. Finally, Chase and Henrik circle Oliver, Chase with his handgun and Henrik with his scalpel. Dr. Iplier runs to the back of the room, both to get out of harm’s way and to observe everyone at once, to keep an eye out for injuries.

Dr. Iplier can’t help but admit that Anti planned this out well. Each combatant is suited to their opponent, organized in just the right way to be the toughest fight. Jackie is the only Septic strong enough to block Wilford’s punches, and his ability to fly even gives him an advantage. Wilford and Jackie constantly pop in and out of reality as Wilford tries to use his void to disorient Jackie, but Jackie continues going after Wilford with single-minded drive to kill. Their fighting is brutal, heavy punches and fierce jabs. Wilford is still stronger but Jackie is quicker, and they tumble through the air, evenly matched.

Bim faces off Marvin with reluctance; the pair are normally friends, and Dr. Iplier has no doubt that Anti knows. They fling magic at each other, Bim’s bright purple against Marvin’s electric green, again and again. Bim doesn’t want to kill Marvin, but Marvin has no such qualms about killing Bim. When blasts do connect with flesh, they send one person tumbling over the floor, and the other rushing to deliver a second blow. But both spring up as fast as they’re knocked down, and their fight continues on.

It’s Host and Jameson’s fight that takes the most of Dr. Iplier’s attention, however. He’s too far away to hear what Host is saying, but he can see his mouth moving a mile a minute with narrations, matching Jameson’s curled fists with his own baseball bat every time. Jameson fights with a grin on his face, eyes glowing silver, pocket watch in hand. Several times Jameson goes to wind his pocket watch and Host cracks his bat down on Jameson’s hand to stop him. Dr. Iplier wonders how many times Jameson has reversed time during the fight, how many seconds he’s taken back for his own advantage. He wonders if Host knows. Both men fight like ghosts, weaving around each other, careful and searching for openings.

The Googles are still near each other as they fight, but each one has their own battle to focus on. Peevils is in her true, terrifying form. She flies above Google on iridescent wings, jabs at him with the long spiny limbs at her waist, grabs and pulls with her black tentacles, even threatens to bite down with her mandibles. Google shows no fear, meeting her tentacles and crushing them in his fists, barely flinching when he’s stabbed with her spines. Both of them are already bleeding, but neither seem to care. Robbie relentlessly bears down on Chrome, dragging his nails down his arms and chest and biting down whenever he gets close enough. Chrome hits back, punches and holds Robbie’s jaws away, but Robbie barely feels the blows. Dr. Iplier watches Chrome pull off Robbie’s arm only for the limb’s hand to claw three lines down Chrome’s cheek, distracting him enough for Robbie to grab his arm back and quickly reattach it before launching himself at Chrome yet again. Plus dodges swings from MadPat’s chainsaw, bends out of the way of each spurt of fire. MadPat tries to get closer, but Plus always edges away, to the back or to the side, careful not to get cornered. Neither seems able to land a single blow, both locked in stalemate until one of them eventually trips up, but Dr. Iplier can’t tell who will break first. He’d have thought that Oliver would have an easy time against Chase and Henrik, the only Septics without any special abilities or strength, but he finds he’s mistaken. Oliver is afraid to hurt them, but the pair of them are ready to kill. He dodges bullets from Chase’s gun and swipes of Henrik’s scalpel, and when he finally gets openings to fight back, they block his blows with surprising strength or jump away with surprising speed. If Oliver goes for one, the other provides distraction. So far, Oliver’s injuries are few and minor, but Chase and Henrik are unscathed.

Yandere and Phantom are a study in contrast as they spar against each other. Yandere has brute force and the downswing of his katana, and Phantom has magic and bursts of energy from his scepter. Though he’s not above using the sceptor to block Yandere’s blows or swing it at Yandere’s head while Yandere’s distracted by a magic blast. But Yandere is relentless and much faster than Phantom, dodging many of Phantom’s blows and landing plenty of his own. Both of them take punishing hits, but neither are ready to give up.

Presiding over it all is Anti. He doesn’t fight, merely watches his puppets do the work for him. He grins as he watches the carnage, the fights happening throughout the lobby. With so many battles, he can always find a puppet with the upper hand, always find a battle his team is winning. He meets eyes with Dr. Iplier from across the room, and Dr. Iplier jolts in terror. But Anti only smiles at him and winks before continuing to look over the scene.

By now, Natemare must’ve found the other egos. The building is large, but it’s not infinite. Dr. Iplier can only hope that Silver and Bing are strong enough to stop him before he causes irreparable damage.

~~~

Silver and Bing stand guard at the front of the studio and wait, tense and ready to fight, as the other egos huddle away and hide throughout the room.

Well, Silver is ready to fight. Bing is nervous, he can tell, but Silver tries to keep enough confidence for them both. He’s taken charge of the others so far, having the other egos spread out to keep them safer, stationing himself and Bing at the only entrance to head off whatever threat Anti sends their way. Silver knows Anti himself wouldn’t bother with them, and he doubts that Anti would send his strongest puppets after them, either. Anti is overconfident, and Silver is quite used to being underestimated.

Still, he has to send somebody. Silver doubts he’d just let them wait until he’s defeated the main fighters. Anti loves to cause suffering and incite chaos, and this is merely another opportunity to do so.

So Silver waits, standing next to Bing, and offers him a smile.

“You doing alright?” he asks.

“Not really, bro,” Bing laughs nervously, “I’m totally freaking out, tbh.”

Silver is a bit thrown off by the spoken acronym, but shrugs it off to respond.

“Hey, we can do this. I’m here with you, and I know you know how to fight.” Silver pauses. “You were right yesterday, you know. You are an android, too, and you are tough.”

“You think so?” Bing noticeably perks up.

“Of course! We’ll get through this.”

Bing is three years younger than Silver, a huge difference for figments. Silver is used to fighting evil, used to putting everything on the line to protect others, and Bing isn’t. Bing has bravery in him, though, he has kindness in him, he has the right attitude to be a hero. But he’s practically a kid. Silver has to wonder if he volunteered out of feeling inadequate, if he saw the other Googles being allowed to fight and felt like he wasn’t good enough. It’s not the best motivation to help others, but Silver can’t help but understand. He certainly knows how it is to feel inadequate. Whatever happens, Silver decides, he’s going to make sure everyone makes it out of this alive, Bing included. No matter what it takes.

Suddenly, Silver’s super-hearing picks up on something different, something strange. Bing’s mechanically-enhanced hearing picks it up, too; Silver can tell by the way he jumps.

“What is that?” Bing asks in a tense whisper.

“Don’t know,” Silver answers, “But I think we’re about to find out.”

The sound is like hissing, not like an animal, but like air escaping a container. The hissing gets closer. From under the door to enter the studio, wisps of purple smoke curl across the floor.

Silver knows instantly who they’re dealing with, and from the look on his face, so does Bing. Of course it’s Natemare. Who else could dispatch such a large group of people as fast as possible?

“How long can you hold your breath?” Silver asks Bing as the smoke touches their feet.

“Not much longer than a normal human, dude,” Bing admits.

Mare appears before them in a poof of smoke, dark-rimmed eyes sizing them up.

“This’ll be easy,” he says, smirking.

“You hope,” Silver mutters, stepping back into a fighting stance and taking a deep breath in. Bing follows suit, and the fight is on.

They don’t have any audience, the other egos are all tucked out of harm’s way at the back of the studio. There isn’t any studio equipment in the way of the fight; it was all moved yesterday. In some ways, it’s easier to fight like this than it is to fight criminals in the street, where pedestrians can gawk and criminals can throw trashcans in Silver’s way or leap over park benches. There’s also plenty of room for Silver to fly, and he doesn’t have to worry about attracting the attention of passersby and drawing them into danger.

But none of these things help much. Silver’s never had to fight without breathing before, and it’s even harder than he would’ve guessed. Mare fully understands what Silver and Bing are trying to do, and fights to get them to draw breath. He throws smoke in their faces, his punches aim for the gut. But Bing and Silver are hitting back. Mare sometimes dodges in a puff of smoke, but Silver quickly figures out what direction he tends to dodge in, and is ready to meet him with a crack across the face every time he becomes tangible again.

Silver finds, though, that he desperately needs to breathe again. Bing seems to be faring better, whether he still has air left or has already snuck a breath under Mare’s nose. Mare can see Silver’s desperation, and hits on him harder. He moves like his smoke does, flowing over the floor and stopping in front of Silver to punch him in the stomach. Silver grunts, more air lost, but keeps his mouth shut. He swings out and manages to connect with the side of Mare’s neck, but it’s not enough to stop Mare from sending a plume of smoke into Silver’s face. The purple clouds his vision and the toxicity makes his eyes water.

All at once, Mare buckles. It takes Silver a moment to realize that Bing has kicked the back of both of his knees, one after the other, and shoved him bodily down by his head.

“Breathe, dude, I got this!” Bing shouts.

Silver backs up, smoke still in his eyes, hands waving away the cloud. He hears Bing grunt in pain, and clears his eyes in time to see Mare buck himself up, headbutting Bing’s neck. Bing gags and draws back without thinking, and Mare poofs himself back to standing. Silver finally, finally breathes, and takes in a long gasp of air as Mare kicks Bing across the face, sending him sprawling.

Silver can see in Bing’s face that he’s now the one about to run out of air, and even if he couldn’t, he can hear Bing’s fans whirring desperately as he overheats. Bing doesn’t need air for his lungs, he needs it to keep himself cool, and if he gets too hot, he could be badly damaged. Silver rushes forward as Mare plants a foot down on Bing’s chest, keeping him on the ground as he struggles. But Mare sees him out of the corner of his eye and meets him with a block of smoke, thick enough to be tangible, that slams into his chest and shoves him back, nearly toppling him over. Mare grins down at Bing, smoke curling around his fingers, ready to force Bing to breathe it in.

Bing glares at him, grabs at Mare’s leg on his chest, shoves up the pant leg, and wraps his hands around the bare skin.

Mare’s expression goes from confusion to shock to pain in a matter of seconds, and he howls, stepping back and trying to kick Bing off. A grin touches Bing’s agonized grimace and he holds fast as his overheated, metallic hands burn into Mare’s skin. While he’s distracted, Bing takes deep breaths, and once Mare seems to be getting used to the pain, Silver rushes him from behind and throws him bodily off of Bing. He catches a glimpse of Mare’s leg, which is badly burnt, at least to the second degree. Mare growls as he gets up from being shoved, and Silver keeps his eyes on him as he offers a hand to Bing to help him up. Mare limps, unable to bear much weight on the leg, but he charges forward, unwilling to give up.

The fight continues, one breath at a time.

Silver wonders how everyone downstairs is doing.

~~~

It takes a minute, but Dr. Iplier eventually figures out why Anti isn’t fighting.

Anti would very much like to join in on the carnage if his hungry gaze is any indication. Yet he continues to preside over the fight, much in the way Dr. Iplier is. But while Dr. Iplier is keeping an eye on the other egos, tracking their injuries and preparing to pull someone away to help them, Anti is doing something else. He’s not just watching the fight, he’s controlling it.

Dark’s aura isn’t behaving the way it did when Dark had it. Dark was never one for possession, not the way Anti is. The aura mimics Anti’s control over his puppets in more ways than the gray tinge to their skin. The aura is actively making them stronger, faster. It’s most obvious with Chase and Henrik: Even against the nicest Google, they shouldn’t have stood a chance. Yet they’re holding their own and evading Oliver’s punches with seeming ease. Dr. Iplier can’t speak much for Chase, but not even during the most dire emergencies has he seen Henrik move so fast, never has he seen him exhibit such physical strength. But Anti isn’t just feeding his puppets power, he’s carefully calculating who’s winning, who’s holding ground, and who’s beginning to slip. Whenever an Iplier is about to land a devastating attack on a puppet, Anti sends Chase or Henrik launching in front of the puppet with a flick of his hand. Each of them function as human shields: Despite the power the aura has given them, they’re still the weakest figments in the room, and even the most determined egos don’t want to kill them.

At one point, Google manages to stun Peevils, and it looks like he might have an opening to kill her. But as he brings his fist forward, Anti sends Henrik jumping into his path. Google’s eyes widen in surprise, and he readjusts, using his momentum to shove Henrik away before closing in on Peevils. But the extra moment is all Peevils needs to recover, and by the time Google’s in front of her she’s ready to block his hit and fight back. Then, Host nearly cracks his bat over Jameson’s head, but Chase gets in the way and breaks Host’s concentration, letting Jameson slip out of the way and resume his fight. When these little confrontations end, they always go right back to Oliver. Between the two of them, Oliver never gets a spare moment.

There’s one fight that Anti doesn’t send Chase and Henrik to interfere in though, and that fight is between Phantom and Yandere. Perhaps Anti knows that Yandere would gladly cut Chase and Henrik down to win the battle and get Dark’s aura back. But in turn, it means that Yandere is steadily but surely gaining the upper hand. Phantom may have magic, but Yandere is quick and relentless. His eyes blaze so bright they almost glow, his hands flex where they grasp his katana’s hilt, his mouth is set in a permanent snarl. There’s cuts and bruises on his skin from Phantom’s scepter and holes burned into his shirt from Phantom’s magic, but none of it seems to faze him. Phantom, meanwhile, is appearing to tire from the various gashes crossing over his skin, not to mention the bruises on his jaw from the moments Yandere got close enough to punch. He can’t keep up with Yandere anymore, and before long Yandere gets an opening.

From across the room, Dr. Iplier watches Yandere thrust his katana forward. By some miracle, he stabs through Phantom’s shoulder instead of his heart. As far away as he is, Dr. Iplier can hear Phantom’s scapula crack and split apart, and he has no doubt that the whole room can hear his howl of agony. Yandere doesn’t even pause to enjoy his victory; he only pulls his katana from Phantom’s shoulder and pushes him aside. As Phantom falls, clutching his shoulder as it bleeds, Yandere runs for Anti.

Before Dr. Iplier can act on the panic that rises in his chest, he hears a bang and a gasping cry from much closer by.

It’s Oliver, staggering backwards with a hand pressed on his chest, just above his core.

From across the room, Anti grins and winks at Dr. Iplier. And Dr. Iplier’s heart sinks, because he can’t stop Yandere and help Oliver at the same time. The frenetic pace of the fight makes Dr. Iplier’s choice for him.

Chase lowers his gun as Henrik comes behind Oliver, ready to slice his throat with his scalpel while he’s distracted. But he doesn’t get the chance; Google is suddenly there, jumping between them, and Oliver’s back hits Google’s with a grunt. Peevils is close behind following Google, but Google grabs Henrik by his lab coat and throws him into Peevils’s path. Henrik collides with her and the pair tumble to the ground in a tangle. Chase raises his gun again and Google pivots, turning to face him and nudging Oliver to follow the turn. The next bullet hits Google’s raised arm instead of Oliver’s head, and Google hardly flinches, instead looking over his shoulder at Dr. Iplier.

“Iplier, get Oliver!” Google shouts, and Dr. Iplier doesn’t have to be told twice. With Henrik out of the way and Oliver turned around, there’s nothing to stop Dr. Iplier from rushing forward to take Oliver’s arm and help him away from the fight. Just in time, too, for Henrik and Peevils are up again and rushing for Google as Dr. Iplier gets Oliver out of the line of fire. He doesn’t see what happens next, he’s busy helping Oliver lay down and evaluating his injury.

Dr. Iplier isn’t a mechanic, but the androids are very similar to humans in most medical respects, and he knows enough for quick patches and emergency fixes. Chase’s bullet luckily didn’t hit Oliver’s core, but it’s too close for comfort. With the way his internal machinery works, the bullet could nick the top of Oliver’s core if Dr. Iplier doesn’t remove it and quickly solder the wound closed. He has the tools to do it, and it won’t take long, but…

He looks up to the front of the room, to Yandere approaching Anti, and Anti meeting him with a grin and a gleeful laugh.

But Oliver coughs from the ground, and Dr. Iplier knows what he has to do. He opens his medical kit and pulls out the tools he needs.

“This is going to hurt,” Dr. Iplier warns Oliver, “Sorry in advance.”

“Please don’t get hurt,” Dr. Iplier internally begs Yandere, “Please don’t get hurt.”

~~~

The longer Silver and Bing fight, the harder it becomes to keep from breathing in Mare’s toxic smoke. Mare seems to realize this, for despite his burned leg slowing him down, he can’t keep a smirk off his face as he battles Silver and Bing.

Bing recovers from his near-overheating quickly, but it keeps happening, over and over. He keeps having to hold his breath for almost too long, and Silver knows that can’t be good for his hardware. Every time he regains his breath, he’s a little bit slower, his movements seem to take a little more effort. Bing is flagging, and if Silver is being honest, so is he. He feels perpetually out of breath, and even the clean gasps he manages to take in aren’t enough. Somehow he has to concentrate on his breathing and his fighting at the same time, and it’s getting harder by the moment. He and Bing are still landing hits, but the hits are weaker, and Mare has the advantage of not having to fear the smoke.

Finally, Mare punches Bing in the gut so hard that he loses all the air in him at once. He falls, winded, and his body breathes in before he can stop himself. He stays on the ground, both gasping and trying not to gasp, as Silver leaps forward to defend him, punching Mare across the face.

“Bing, come on, don’t breathe yet!” Silver cries. Purple smoke clings to the air around Bing, and Silver can see it flowing into Bing’s mouth as he pants.

“Can’t, can’t...” Bing gasps, sinking into the ground, spent. His eyes start to glaze over with fear. “No, please...”

“Oh crap,” Silver hisses. Bing’s already breathed in too much smoke. It’s up to Silver to finish this.

But Mare comes back from Silver’s punch with a vengeance, invigorated by his success in getting Bing.

“You can’t hold your breath forever,” Mare laughs as he and Silver strike and parry, “I can’t promise it’ll be quick or painless, but at least you’ll be able to breathe again!”

“Go to hell,” Silver mutters. Bing has gotten up enough to scramble away from something only he can see.

“C’mon, pease, don’t hurt me,” Bing whimpers, and Silver can’t help but hurt for him and wonder what he’s seeing.

That simple distraction is enough.

Mare punches Silver, not in the face but in the neck, making his cough and gag. He can’t stop himself from automatically trying to breathe, but there’s suddenly so much smoke around him that he can hardly get any oxygen. He falls to his knees, trying to get air before he passes out. He looks up enough to see Mare spread his arms out, sending purple smoke out in a burst. The stuff flows out from him, racing over the ground, billowing past Silver and Bing into the studio, to where the other egos are hiding.

“No,” Silver gasps, but it’s already too late. He can hardly see through the purple haze.

In the next moment, the screams start.

Shouts of alarm sound first as the egos see the smoke, urgent cries from those who know what the smoke is and demand others not to breathe it. But there’s too much of it to avoid, and the noise eventually morphs into the screams of the egos experiencing their worst fears. They meld together in a cacophony of terror, but Silver can still pick out a few.

“Leave us alone!” Damien howls, voice breaking with terror, “Haven’t you taken enough from us??”

“CJ, no, CJ!!” RJ wails. Silver can hear CJ wailing too, keening and wordless in agony.

“I’m sorry Dad, I’m sorry, please!” Eric sobs from somewhere in the room. “Don’t hurt me, I didn’t mean it!!”

“Not solitary, please, let me out, I’ll do better!” Yancy hollers from another corner, “I swear I’ll do better, don’t leave me in here!!”

Silver struggles to get up as the screams of his family fill his ears. After releasing all that smoke, Mare must have been weakened. If Silver can find him, he’ll be easier to beat now than before. Silver sluggishly crawls to his feet, fighting the smoke. He feels tired, aching. It’s hard to breathe, his throat feels thick. When Silver manages to stand, he looks around, trying to find Mare. But he finds something else instead, and chokes.

It’s Roxanne, sprawled on the ground, body twisted and unnaturally broken. There’s blood leaking from her ears and nose, and her eyes are wide open, face contorted in terror. She’s ghostly pale, and Silver can tell just from looking at her that she’d be cold to touch.

“Roxy,” he gasps, nearly collapsing again.

Standing over her is Dark, looking down at Silver as he examines the fingernails on one hand. There’s blood caked there.

“Here I thought you were a stickler for the rules,” Dark says, deceptively calm, “Yet you’ve broken one of the most important rules I have for this house. What’s more, you broke it right under my nose, and kept it hidden for who knows how long.”

“D-Dark,” Silver stammers, helpless with fear. Dark is dead, this isn’t real, he knows that, but the smoke smothers that knowledge every moment he spends staring at Roxanne’s body.

“You understand that I had no choice,” Dark continues, stepping over Roxanne to approach Silver. “You put all of us at risk by cavorting with a human. And the fact that she recognized me, that she knew us...you told her far too much.”

“She was only a human,” Silver whispers, tears filling his eyes and beginning to spill. “She couldn’t have hurt us, she didn’t tell anyone else–”

“Humans cannot be trusted!” Dark snaps, aura flashing around him, silencing Silver. “Even knowing how dangerous I was, all I had to do was threaten her and she spilled everything she knew about us. She could not keep our secrets. They were never hers at all.”

“I–”

“And it was you who gave them to her,” Dark growls, grabbing Silver by the throat with the same hand covered in Roxy’s blood. Silver would gag if Dark wasn’t squeezing his throat so tight.

“Dark,” he rasps, “Please...”

Even through the tears, even through the agony and terror, Silver knows two things to be true.

“These are illusions, they are not corporeal,” he reminds himself, “Mare can only be in one place, and if he’s here, he can’t hurt anyone else.”

It’s little comfort. Silver’s mind is betraying him, and having those facts in his mind doesn’t make him fear any less, doesn’t make the hole in his heart from seeing Roxanne dead get any smaller.

“Roxanne is not the only one who needs to be punished,” Dark says, a cruel grin spreading across his face. “You need to be reminded of the rules here, and you need to relearn your place.”

Silver resigns himself to this, closing his eyes in grief.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps, not to Dark, and not even to Roxanne.

~~~

After Yandere takes down Phantom, his only goal is Anti. He managed to restrain himself from putting his katana through Phantom’s chest, but he has no plans to do the same with Anti.

Anti is going to pay for what he’s done, no matter what Yandere has to do.

He runs to Anti where he stands lording over the fight, watching his puppets battle for him. Anti laughs to see Yandere, spreading his arms.

“Did you miss me?” he asks, hair shifting into a bright yellow-green and eyes going black. “I’d say it’s been lonely without you, but I’ve managed to find myself some company.” Dark’s aura swirls around Anti as his appearance changes back to normal, but his skin is still tinted gray, the same way Dark’s was. The sight of it makes Yandere shake with rage.

“Are you ready to die, Guritchi??” Yandere tries to growl, but it comes out like a screech, filtered through his anger. Anti laughs again and settles into a fighting stance, claws out, aura wisping around himself.

“Are you?” he asks in return, giggling madly.

Yandere launches at him, katana raised, but Anti evades, poofing away in a burst of smoke and reappearing behind Yandere.

“Gonna have to do better than that,” Anti tells him smugly.

Yandere shrieks in rage and whirls around to slice through Anti’s head. But once again he teleports away, using Dark’s aura like it’s his own. It makes Yandere’s blood boil ever further, makes his vision go red.

Which might be why he doesn’t notice Anti’s aura swirling around him, blocking everything out, until the smoky gray is all he can see. He spins around, looking for Anti.

“Come out, you coward!!!” Yandere howls, out of his mind with rage.

And being surrounded by Dark’s aura is making grief rise up in him too, as raw and powerful as it was when he first found out what happened to Dark. Yandere chokes on it, on the smoke and on his own despair as he searches through the deep gray for Anti. The aura is cold, and Yandere can hear indistinct voices bubbling from all around, but it isn’t scary. It reminds him of before, when Dark’s aura would whisper through Yandere’s hair, or gently wrap around his arm, or ghost over the small of his back and push him into Dark’s arms. It’s too familiar, the cold and the wind and the quiet voices are too soothing. Yandere’s surprised by the sob that escapes his throat.

“Yami,” he gasps, “Why did this happen? Why are you gone?”

Now Anti is wearing his aura, desecrating his memory. That thought catapults Yandere back into hate and anger once again, and he searches for Anti with renewed vigor, darting around as far as he can see, katana slashing, hands trembling with the desire to kill.

“When I find you I’m ripping you apart,” Yandere growls, “I’m going to crack open your chest and stab out your heart with one of your own ribs, so you can feel what you’ve done to me.”

“Didn’t Host say you can’t kill me?” Anti laughs. Yandere tries to pinpoint where his voice came from, but it echoes too strongly. “Not if you want Dark’s aura back, that is.”

“Dirty fucking spy,” Yandere spits, “I’ll beat you within an inch of your life. When Wil and the others have taken Yami’s aura from you I’ll cut out your larynx so you’ll finally shut up. I’ll pull out your claws one at a time. I’ll see what your brain looks like, I’ll split your skull open. You’ll wish you’d let me kill you earlier.”

Anti laughs, loud and cackling, but there’s something under it, something else that Yandere’s ears pick up.

Static.

Yandere freezes.

“What the fuck are you playing at,” Yandere gasps.

“What do you mean?” Anti asks innocently. Yandere still can’t see him through Dark’s aura, still can’t tell where his voice is coming from. Below his voice, static pops and crackles.

“Shut up, shut up!” Yandere screeches, whirling around, trying to get away from the static.

“You asked,” Anti chuckles, “What, don’t you remember this static? Just like old times, isn’t it?”

“Fuck you!!” Yandere screams, “Kutabare! Shine!!!”

“Wasn’t it easier, then?” Anti continues, static getting louder. Yandere feels like it’s flowing into him, through his ears and down his throat. “Wasn’t it easy when you knew I was in charge, when you weren’t thinking about anything but that? When you didn’t have a care in the world?”

“No,” Yandere moans, standing still, trying to shut the static out.

“You remember that feeling, don’t you?” Anti says, voice low and almost gentle, “You remember this too, don’t you, the way this aura feels around you, the sound of it. Doesn’t it feel good? Don’t you miss it?”

“Stop,” Yandere whimpers, tears filling his eyes.

“Oh, don’t cry,” Anti coos, “Don’t cry, usagi, just listen. Just listen.”

The static is so loud Yandere can hardly think, and with its buzzing comes other messages flowing into Yandere’s mind.

Relax.

Be calm.

You are safe.

Yandere sobs for the second time as a wisp of aura curls around his cheek, wiping away tears. Another tendril ghosts by his ear, adding its murmuring voices to the static. Against his will, Yandere can feel the fear and the rage slipping away. It’s sadness, it’s the agony of lost love that flows in to replace it, and Yandere trembles with grief. It’s despair, and relief, and contentment, and relaxation. It’s right there, comfort and bliss is right there, so close, so far away ever since Yandere lost Dark. He couldn’t miss Dark more if he tried, not even having Damien around is enough. Dark’s aura is winding around Yandere like a blanket, and that horrid static is blanketing him too, rushing through him, soothing Yandere despite himself. It’s so hard to keep fighting. It’s so hard to keep missing Dark.

“I just want this to stop,” Yandere whispers through his tears.

“It will,” Anti murmurs, “It will, sakura. Just let go. Just let me in.”

How can Yandere say no to that?

He closes his eyes, and gives in.

When Yandere opens them again, they’re blanketed over with static. His katana slips out of his hands and hits the floor with a clatter. Anti finally emerges from the smoke and allows it to dissipate. But static continues to ring in Yandere’s ears, and he stays where he is, slumped and loose as Anti walks towards him, claws out, grinning, ready to finish what he started weeks ago.

Then Dr. Iplier is in front of Yandere, arms spread wide, eyes glinting with equal parts fear and stubborn determination.

“I’m not letting you hurt him,” he says, quiet and angry, “Not again.”

Anti blinks, then frowns.

“Aren’t you supposed to be helping Oliver?” he growls, put out at the interruption.

“I did,” Dr. Iplier answers. “How long did you really think that’d take me?”

Anti flicks his gaze towards the battlefield. Sure enough, Oliver is back on his feet, fighting alongside the others again, no worse for wear aside from a hole in his shirt, revealing the metal plate soldered over his wounds.

“Whatever,” Anti says, “You’re already too late. The conditioning from the static is still in Yan’s mind, and he’s fully sucked in now. All that’s left is for me to put him out of his misery.”

“Are you really such a coward that you’d kill him like this?” Dr. Iplier asks, trying to tamp down his anger. “Do you think he’d beat you in a straight fight? Are you scared you’re outmatched? So now you’re gonna kill him when he’s incapacitated? What are you afraid of?”

Anti snarls, lips curling dangerously.

“Watch yourself, Doc,” Anti growls, “You can’t stop me from killing Yandere, but I might just kill you first.”

“Do it then,” Dr. Iplier says, standing up straighter, “Kill me. Give Yandere a chance to fight back. If you’re so confident you can beat him then do it. Maybe you’ll get a better fight out of killing me first.”

Dr. Iplier stares at Anti, unwavering, even as static buzzes around him, even as Dark’s aura whips against his skin, blows his hair around. Anti glowers, but he’s thoughtful. Dr. Iplier can feel Yandere’s presence behind him, how he’s almost leaning against Dr. Iplier’s back, so boneless from the static in his mind that he can barely stand at all. Dr. Iplier stands up tall and looks Anti in the eye with dignity as he waits for Anti to kill him.

“You know, every once in a while you have a pretty good idea, Doc,” Anti finally admits, grinning. “But you’d really do this? You’d really deprive the others of their medic, just for him?”

Why wouldn’t he? That’s how this whole situation started, because Dr. Iplier couldn’t bear to see Yandere killed. Maybe he hasn’t learned his lesson, maybe he’s still being selfish, maybe it’s a bad idea in the long run to sacrifice himself. But if it gives Yandere a chance to get away from Anti, or the other egos a chance to see what’s happening and stop him, then isn’t it worth it?

Dr. Iplier feels Yandere’s weight off his back, hears him step back.

“Shishi?” he mumbles, groggy and confused but coming back to himself.

And that’s all Dr. Iplier needs to be certain of his choice.

“I would,” he answers Anti, “For Yandere, I will.”

“Suit yourself,” Anti says. He reels his arm back. “Say goodbye.”

Anti punches through Dr. Iplier’s chest, coming out the other side with his heart clutched in his clawed hand.

For a long moment, there is only silence as Anti pulls his arm back out, taking Dr. Iplier’s heart with him. Dr. Iplier’s body sways and falls, back hitting the ground, gaping chest facing the ceiling, blood pooling around him.

Then, Yandere screams.

~~~

Silver coughs, not from the purple smoke surrounding him, but from the kick to his stomach that’s sent him rolling across the floor.

“Please,” Silver wheezes. There’s specks of his own blood on the ground. Dark – no, Mare – but it’s Dark – walks up to him, dress shoes clacking against the floor.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Dark answers, voice deceptively smooth.

Silver sighs, exhausted. He can still hear the terrified cries of the other egos, but it’s supplemented by coughing as their bodies try to expel the smoke. Even with the coughing, the volume is quieter than it was before, as though some egos have gone silent. If this doesn’t end soon, someone is going to die. But Silver is paralyzed. He can hardly think, hardly breathe, hardly move. All he has is fear. His eyes are wide behind his mask, his only desire is to run away, escape, but his body won’t let him.

Dark kicks him in the head, and Silver cries out as stars burst in his mind.

“Roxanne was lucky, all things considered,” Dark muses, circling Silver like a shark as he clutches his forehead. “I could’ve killed her like this, slow and painful. But I let her die quickly. I hope you’re grateful.”

A rush of agony rips through Silver, but running alongside it is a sense of wrongness.

“Y-You’re gonna…gonna kill me?” Silver asks.

“You’ve always been a liability,” Dark – Mare? – growls, “And now you’ve become a hazard.”

“Then, then…” Silver struggles from the ground, managing to get on his hands and knees. “You’d put me in…in your v-void for a week…” He slowly drags himself to his feet. “Or s-stick me in The Cell.” He looks Dark – no, Mare in the eyes. “Dark would never kill one of us, n-no matter what we did.”

Mare, wearing Dark’s appearance like a hologram, blinks in confusion. His eyes widen in shock, then narrow in anger.

“Does it matter?” he spits, grabbing Silver by the throat. “What are you gonna do about it? Look around, Silver, you already lost.” He grins. “My smoke’s going to kill them all, and I’m going to kill you.” He squeezes Silver’s throat, and Silver wheezes, trying to breathe. He kicks out and claws at Mare’s hand, but he’s too weak to break free. Mare’s hand gets tighter, his grin meaner. “Some hero you were.”

Silver can’t breathe. Not even the fear smoke can get into his lungs, and he was already out of breath from his injuries. It only takes moments for his vision to start narrowing, for his chest to start burning from the inside. What little energy he had leaves him, and his arms and legs begin to still. The world around him starts to go dark, a booming crack sounds–

And Silver’s on the ground, Mare’s hand gone from his neck, coughing and gasping for air. His vision is still blurred from tears as he coughs, but when he looks up, he can tell that Mare looks like Mare again, not Dark. The area is much less purple than it was a moment ago, and Mare is using the hand that earlier held Silver by his throat to hold his other arm. His shoulder is bleeding profusely. He’s shocked, staring at something behind Silver. Silver turns to look, and gapes.

It’s Captain Magnum, hand still raised, flintlock pistol still smoking. Silver manages to sit up, and he can see the look on Magnum’s face, darker than a storm. His pupils are dilated and Silver can tell he’s breathing rapidly, but it’s as though his body’s fear response isn’t affecting his conscious mind.

“What the hell,” Mare gasps, “You’re supposed to be seeing your worst fears!”

“I don’t fear a thing but the briney deep,” Magnum snarls, voice low like thunder, “And I respect her more than I could ever fear her. Now, if ye don’t make yerself scarce, I’ll see ye to Davy Jones, and that’s a promise.”

Mare glowers, but there’s not much he can do. His shot shoulder still bleeds heavily, and his arm hangs down limply like he couldn’t move it if he tried. The smoke dissipating from the room is further evidence that he’s been weakened. It would take Magnum too long to reload his pistol to shoot Mare again, but he’s more than capable of beating Mare down with his bare hands. Mare seems to recognize this, so he spits angrily in Magnum’s direction before turning into smoke, floating slowly away and taking the rest of the purple in the air with him.

“Mate, ye alright?” Magnum asks Silver, hurrying over and helping him up.

“As good as I can be,” Silver says, but he already feels better without the fear smoke in his system. “Just…thank you, that was incredible.”

“Arr, t’was nothing,” Magnum mumbles, but he can’t help but give an embarrassed smile.

“Yo, Mags, what’re you doing here?” asks Bing, walking over. There’s confusion written on his face as the smoke clears from his mind. “What the hell happened?”

“Magnum shot Mare in the shoulder,” Silver says, “We’re safe now.”

“Man, sorry I couldn’t help,” Bing says, frowning at himself. “I didn’t–”

He’s cut off by someone – Bop, Silver quickly realizes – crashing into his side and hugging him tight.

“Bing, Bing,” he sobs, burying his face into Bing’s neck.

“Boppy, hey, it’s okay,” Bing murmurs, turning to him and hugging him back, Silver and Magnum forgotten. “It’s alright, we’re all good, baby…”

“I guess that’s my cue to check on the others,” Silver says to Magnum, “Hopefully no one’s hurt; that smoke can be deadly.”

“I best be seein’ about my mates as well,” Magnum muses, subdued, “The pair o’ them so afeard wasn’t a pretty sight.”

Silver nods, and the two part ways into the studio. Before he goes, Silver can’t help but look back at where Roxanne was lying, but she’s gone like Mare’s smoke is. Still, Silver shudders as he turns away and walks off, knowing he’ll be seeing Roxanne’s body in his nightmares for the foreseeable future.

He finds the Jim Twins first, huddled together so tight they look connected, both crying silently and trembling. RJ is the one who answers Silver’s questions about how the pair are feeling and breathing, as CJ refuses to let RJ go to sign. RJ won’t take his arms away from his twin either. CJ seems to have a lingering cough, but neither twin is in immediate danger from smoke inhalation.

“Did either of you lose consciousness?” Silver asks.

“Well, I know I didn’t,” RJ mumbles, “I don’t know about CJ, I didn’t…” He pauses, eyes getting teary again. “I thought he was dead.”

CJ buries his face in RJ’s neck, as though he experienced the same thing. Silver can imagine what the twins saw, and his heart aches for them.

Silver finds the trio of new egos next. Yancy and Illinois are tangled in each other, and the pair of them are nearly swallowed up by Magnum’s arms around them. Neither are crying, though they both have tracks down their cheeks from earlier tears. Yancy is trembling.

“You’re all okay?” Silver asks them, “Any trouble breathing?”

“No,” Yancy and Lio answer at almost the same time. Magnum looks at them both with worry. He must have an idea of what they saw in Mare’s smoke, but the pair aren’t about to mention it.

Silver moves on, and finds King of the Squirrels, Ed Edgar, and Eric all sitting together. King and Ed are sitting together, that is; Eric is sitting in Ed’s lap, arms around his neck, audibly crying. Ed is holding him and stroking his hair, trying to soothe, but he looks like he’s seen a ghost. King is similarly skittish, and he jolts when he hears Silver approaching, though he relaxes once he sees him.

“You okay?” he asks, “You look like you’ve been through a lot.”

“Haven’t we all?” Silver replies, trying to smile. “You guys alright? Can you breathe well?”

King and Ed both nod, and Ed speaks up.

“Eric was sayin’ he couldn’t catch his breath a minute ago,” Ed says, “Can’t tell if it’s breathin’ trouble or if he’s still too upset from all them illusions.”

It’s not an unfounded assumption; Eric is clearly still distraught over whatever he saw. But he’ll definitely need to be first in line when Dr. Iplier is checking everyone over.

There’s still two more people Silver has to check on, and he finds them before long. Damien sits against Celine’s stretcher, trembling, clutching one of her hands in his.

“Damien?” Silver asks softly, trying not to startle him. Damien still jumps at the sound of Silver’s voice.

“Oh, S-Silver,” he gasps, “I’m…I’m alright, I think, and Celine is as well, I believe…”

Silver still walks up to Celine to check her pulse and make sure she looks alright. Damien seems to be right; her pulse is normal and her color hasn’t changed. But Silver has his doubts about Damien. He’s still shaking, and his breathing is a little too fast and a little too shallow.

“Hey, Damien,” Silver says, kneeling down to him, “Celine’s breathing is okay, but you need to breathe, too.”

“I’m, I…” Damien tries, but his voice is quiet and his pupils are still blown wide in terror. Silver gives him a reassuring smile.

“Here, let’s take a few breaths together. There’s no more smoke in the air, so it’s safe to breathe now. We’ll breathe in for four seconds, hold it for seven, and exhale for eight. Four, seven, eight. You understand?”

“Y-Yes…”

“Then let’s start. In…” Silver breathes in, starting a count to four in his mind. Damien does the same, with effort. “Hold…” Silver counts to seven, and so does Damien, though he’s clearly fighting the urge to hyperventilate. “Out.” Silver exhales as he counts to eight, and Damien follows, though he seems to run out of breath to exhale partway through. Still, he’s trying, and that means it’s already working.

Silver isn’t used to seeing Damien like this. He hasn’t had much cause to interact with him before this, but Damien was always so composed in every meeting, even when he was clearly rattled. Damien may have been unnerved and confused in the videos about him, but in real life, he has the decorum and composure one would expect of a city mayor. But now, though, in the face of Mare’s smoke, he’s a terrified wreck. Not that Silver can blame him; that fear had nearly gotten the better of himself, too. Though the breathing exercise is for Damien, Silver has to admit it’s working to dissipate the last of his own anxiety as well.

The pair keep breathing for a little while, and after several repetitions, Damien recovers. He stops trembling, his eyes are no longer so wide, and when he speaks again, his voice is calm.

“Thank you,” he says, “I apologize, that smoke just…” He considers what words to use, but Silver smiles gently again.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he says, “You should’ve seen me earlier.” He sighs. “That was Natemare. He’s another figment, from someone else. That smoke was his power. It’s poisonous and makes people hallucinate their worst fears.”

“I see,” Damien says, thoughtful. He laughs weakly. “That explains what I saw.”

Silver doesn’t ask. He knows it’s not his business. Damien thinks for a moment longer, then sighs.

“I imagine he hasn’t shown his face here, else I would’ve been told about it,” Damien muses, “But then…that means he could still appear. If Dark and Wilford haven’t found him…he must still exist.”

Silver knows who Damien’s talking about, and he nods.

“Well, I suppose it’s just as well,” Damien says, smiling tiredly, “If the fans could love someone like Dark, or love who Wilford has become, then why wouldn’t they love Mark, too?”

It occurs to Silver then that Damien is tremendously lonely. Wilford is so different he’s hardly the same person, and all Damien has his comatose sister. Silver was planning to return to his own friends after checking on Damien, to stay with Ed and King and Eric until he got news from the egos downstairs. But Damien needs company, he needs a person to lean on right now. Of all the egos in the room now, Damien’s the only one who’s alone.

Silver already knows that being a hero means sacrifices. Sometimes big ones, like his earlier fight with Mare. But sometimes small ones, like this, like now.

Damien doesn’t say anything more, and neither does Silver, but the silence is amicable. Silver’s super-hearing can pick up the murmurs of other egos, talking and reassuring each other. He can hear that Damien is breathing normally now, can see that he’s calmer. And Silver feels calmer, too.

The calm is shattered by a shrill, wrenching scream piercing the air.

Silver and Damien both jump a mile, and as the scream fades, it’s replaced by the fearful exclamations and surprised shouting of the other egos.

“What on earth was that??” Damien gasps.

“It…” Silver’s stomach knots up as he realizes. “It came from downstairs.”

Damien’s eyes widen. He clutches Celine’s hand a little tighter.

Silver wonders, and fears, what could possibly be happening.

~~~

Host has been fighting for much longer than everyone else.

The first time Jameson grabbed his pocket watch and turned back the seconds, the Host’s power let him follow without trying, and both men were too surprised to make much use of the knowledge. But Jameson is used to time, he knows the right moments to do over and the right ones to let slip. Host follows along, trying not only to defeat him, but stop his hand from turning time back whenever he tries. But Jameson is quick, nearly as quick as Host’s words, and nearly quicker than his swinging bat. Time reaches back and reaches back, but Host can’t check how many seconds have been lost, can’t narrate how long they’ve been fighting. His narration flows out of his mouth in a rapid stream, tracking Jameson’s movements and letting him now when they’ve gone backwards. He cannot stop even for a moment to think of anything else, he cannot stop the endless torrent of words. If he loses track for even a moment, he’ll lose his momentum and fail to catch up, and Jameson will win. He can’t even tell who’s winning at all. He can only focus moment-to-moment, as Jameson endlessly tries to reach back into the past.

But then a wail splits the room, and both Jameson and Host are given pause.

“The fight ceases,” Host narrates, words nearly too fast to be understood, just as they’ve been this whole fight. “The entire fight ceases, the others are rendered still. They look to the front of the room for the source. It is Yandere, anguished. Beyond him is Anti, triumphant and cackling. Between them is Dr. Iplier, d–”

Host chokes. His words leave him. After so many minutes of relentless speech, of constantly narrating nearly without breath, this is the word that stops him. It does not escape his lips, but he already knows what it is. He already knows what happened. He already knows what he lost.

The word “dead” does not leave his mind and pierce the air, but it is still the word that breaks him.

“Edward,” he gasps as his heart shatters.

Anti is still laughing, Yandere is still sobbing. Host continues to narrate, mechanically and quietly, enough to see the other egos still frozen still, comprehending, enough to see Anti’s puppets also frozen, distracted by Anti’s murderous glee. Yandere falls to his knees, crouching over Dr. Iplier, and Anti advances, ready to take Yandere next.

At that, the spell is broken. The fight resumes. The puppets work to distract the egos, to keep them from reaching Yandere to offer help. Host is pulled back into his own fight, still numb with loss, so he cannot see what happens next.

He cannot see Wilford run to intercept Anti and rescue Yandere, only to be bodily stopped and blocked by Jackie. He cannot see Chrome break away from his fight with MadPat to run across the room, faster than any human could go. He cannot see the other Googles shout to him, try to stop him. Though Host does not see these things, they happen, and they lead to Chrome advancing on Anti with eyes blazing red, and Anti laughing at the sight of him.

“You really think you can stop me, little tin can!?” Anti laughs, nearly howling with joy and madness. Yandere has enough time to look up and see Chrome there, enough time to be shocked through his tears.

There is time for nothing else before Anti launches, slamming into Chrome, into Chrome, sending him stumbling, staggering back. Anti disappears from view and into Chrome’s system in the blink of an eye. By the time Chrome has regained his balance, he isn’t Chrome any longer. His metallic skin has gone gray, inky smoke billows around him, bizarre swathes of glitching criss-cross over him. His expression changes from rage to manic glee, but his eyes stay burning red, so bright it hurts to meet his gaze.

“Oh, that was easy,” Anti exclaims through Chrome’s mouth, laughing through Chrome’s throat. “I’m on a roll, who wants to be next?” He grins down at Yandere. “How about we finally finish this, usagi?”

Yandere is frozen where he kneels over Dr. Iplier, eyes wide with terror. But before Anti can move forward, he’s grabbed at both sides by two sets of inhumanly strong arms.

“Chrome, kick him out!” Plus shouts from the right.

“You can push him out, I know you can!” Oliver cries from the left.

“Bim, get Anti!” yells Google, following a few paces behind his brothers.

“Gimme a second!” Bim yells back, too preoccupied with fending off a magical blast from Marvin to retaliate immediately.

Anti understands this, and grins wickedly. He brings one foot down on Plus’s ankle, metal against metal, crushing it mercilessly. He sends a swathe of inky black into Oliver’s face, pushing the aura into his eyes and mouth. Both Plus and Oliver are distracted by the onslaught, instinctively loosening their grip on Anti’s arms. And that loosened grip is all it takes. Google, still a few steps too far away, knows what’s about to happen but isn’t fast enough to stop it.

Google isn’t fast enough to stop Anti from freeing his arms and sending each one through the chests of Plus and Oliver, each hand coming out the other side with a chunk of glowing core in his claws. Anyone who doesn’t see it happen is alerted to it by Bim’s horrified scream. Plus and Oliver collapse in two heavy thuds, and Anti’s arms, Chrome’s arms, are stained near to the shoulders with oil.

In the next moment, Google has tackled Anti to the ground, pinning his arms awkwardly beneath him, but Anti hardly cares. He cackles wildly, deliriously happy from his victory, as Google keeps him on the ground, eyes glowing bright blue.

“Bim!!” Google roars.

“I’m trying!!” Bim screeches, already crying as he tries to fend off Marvin and free Chrome from Anti at the same time.

At that moment, Host lands a lucky swipe at Jameson with his bat, knocking his head sideways and making him fall. Host has a moment to reevaluate and understand the shouting he heard while he was fighting with Jameson.

“Plus and Oliver are dead, by Anti’s hands in Chrome’s hands,” Host narrates, trepidation knotting in his chest, “Bim cannot pull him out and fight Marvin at the same time. Wilford cannot break away from Jackie to assist, and the puppets that the Googles left are advancing on them now.” A spares a moment to find the future. “If something is not done, Anti will kill Google, and the rest of the egos will likely follow.”

Host has only one idea. He doesn’t know how much time it will garner, but with Jameson half-concussed, it could be enough to stop the carnage and finally end this fight. He has no choice. He breathes in, long and deep, and then he pulls in all of his power and speaks.

“Anti and his puppets are still!” Host bellows, loud over the battlefield.

They all freeze, even Chrome’s body no longer struggles under Google. They are confused, they flex their muscles, they try to move, but they cannot.

“Anti and his puppets are still, Anti and his puppets are still, Anti and his puppets are still,” Host continues, murmuring low, power shimmering in the air around him, bright and golden like light in stained glass. To keep so many powerful figments frozen in place requires him to repeat the statement as a mantra, to continuously feed it power. Once again, if he stops his narration for even a moment, it will all be over. “Anti and his puppets are still, Anti and his puppets are still–”

Bim finally manages to yank Anti out of Chrome, and as Anti reappears, Chrome sags into the floor, face obscured by his bangs falling into his face. Google releases his arms and moves off of him, but Chrome stays where he is and begins to shake. Anti, despite being unable to move, laughs for the hundredth time, still high on bloodlust.

“I’m three for three here, huh?” Anti giggles, glitching like a light show even under Host’s spell. “Host can’t keep up a narration that powerful for long.”

“I don’t need long,” Google growls, standing up and grabbing Anti by the neck in one swift movement. His thumb digs into the slice across Anti’s neck, making him gag through his laughter, but not making him stop.

“Don’t kill him, Google,” Wilford speaks up, sighing as he approaches, finally able to confront Anti now that Jackie is rendered frozen. He talks like he’s been inconvenienced, but his bright pink eyes and deep-set scowl betray his rage. “We won’t get anywhere that way. Besides, there’s better ways to get Anti out of here.”

“Oh, really?” Anti coughs, splitting blood through his smiling teeth. Google reluctantly releases him, throwing him to the side and returning to Chrome’s side. Anti manages to stay standing, and despite the blood now running down his neck, stays triumphant. “What are you gonna do, if you’re not gonna kill me?” Anti asks Wilford, taunting.

Wilford poofs around the room, once to grab Jackie by the throat, once to do the same to Marvin, and once again to come back before Anti, holding them by their necks in front of him. Host’s spell prevents them from even squirming in Wilford’s grasp.

“I’ll take away a couple puppets,” Wilford says, “Or you can leave now and keep them for a while longer. Choose.”

“You won’t do it,” Anti says, still grinning, “They’re puppets; they aren’t in control. Besides, some of your fellow Ipliers are pretty fond of them. You won’t kill them.”

“You don’t think I would?” Wilford asks, expression darkening even as his mouth quirks into an unhinged smile. “You think I give a shit about Jackie or Marvin? You think I care about making a few people upset?” He squeezes Jackie and Marvin’s necks a little tighter. “I’d rather they be upset than dead. You’ve already killed Dark, so don’t expect me to shed a tear for your puppets.” His smile widens, splitting his face, eyes still glowing pink. “After everything, what’s a little more death? What’s a couple more bodies? What’s a little more madness?”

With that, he squeezes Jackie and Marvin’s necks hard, and two loud crunching snaps fill the air. Wilford tosses both bodies at Anti’s feet, and they flop to the ground like ragdolls, heads lolling too far. Bim gasps, but otherwise, all is silent. Anti’s expression changes from glee to rage in an instant.

“You fucker! Those are my strongest puppets!!” Anti screeches. Even in his anger he cannot break Host’s spell.

“Your move, glitch,” Wilford replies, poofing away briefly to grab Jameson and hold him by his neck in front of Anti. “You wanna lose your time traveller next? You wanna test me again?”

At that moment, a clutch of purple smoke wavers into the room. Anti and Wilford turn to look, and see Natemare appear at the end of the room, just outside the doors to the stairs. Host’s spell seizes him as well, and he cannot move, but Anti can see his messy shoulder wound and his too-pale face even at a distance. It reminds him of Phantom, who Yandere stabbed in the shoulder what feels like ages ago. He’s still lying on the floor where he fell, surrounded by blood, probably unconscious, possibly worse. Anti looks back to Wilford, to Jameson in his grasp, to Host still narrating him and his puppets still. With Host busy narrating, the egos can’t take Dark’s aura from Anti, but Anti can’t retaliate and finish the fight. They’ve reached a stalemate, and Anti knows it.

Finally, Anti growls in frustration, glitching harshly, shadows of himself splitting off and raging just like Dark’s glitches used to do.

“Fine,” Anti snarls, “Let us go and we’ll leave. But mark my words, you’ll see us again. And next time will be the last time.”

“It sure as hell will,” Wilford spits.

The Host finally, finally lets his narration stop completely, and Anti and his puppets can move again. Wilford tosses Jameson away, and as soon as his hand leaves his neck, Anti teleports himself and his puppets – Jackie and Marvin included – away with a flash of black smoke.

Host groans and slumps over, spent. Bim manages to get to him fast enough to stop him from hitting the ground.

“Let go,” Host rasps, voice nearly gone. Despite his exhaustion, he pushes Bim away, and Bim is too upset over the last few minutes’ events to protest.

Host stumbles blindy across the room, and Bim follows in a daze, still sobbing. Google is kneeling on the floor with Chrome, holding him tight, expression bleak and haunted. Chrome is keening, emitting a low metallic screech, curled in on himself and unable to look at his brothers’ bodies. Bim falls to his knees beside Oliver and collapses onto his chest, weeping. Host goes further, and narrates Wilford, sitting behind Yandere and stroking his hair, eyes still bright pink and expression still angry. He narrates Yandere, face in his hands, sobbing, Dr. Iplier’s head in his lap. He narrates Dr. Iplier’s body, cold now, blood congealed, eyes still open and glassy.

“My love,” Host whispers, voice hardly audible. He kneels beside his doctor, cups his face in his hands. He knew he’d be cold, but feeling it is far worse than narrating it. He moves one hand to tug Dr. Iplier’s eyelids shut, but it doesn’t make Dr. Iplier look any less dead in his mind’s eye. He’s still pale, there’s still a hole in his chest, there’s still blood on the floor. Host’s mind moves with a hundred thoughts at once, a hundred memories, a hundred moments with his doctor and a hundred times he loved him. Yet he can think of nothing at all. There is nothing in his mind but pain. His body aches from exertion, but it aches from loss, too. Despair builds in Host’s chest until he moans, long and loud, adding a resonant low tone to Yandere and Bim’s high-pitched sobs, to Chrome’s scratchy static wail. That’s the note that allows the symphony of grief to flow up to the third floor, to reach the horrified ears of the other egos.

When the weaker egos leave the studio, they see the group who fought trudging forth, faces drawn and eyes still leaking. Google is stone-faced as he carries Oliver, Chrome stares at the floor as he carries Plus. Host, despite his flagging strength, holds Dr. Iplier tight against his chest, and Bim walks alongside him in case he needs support, still in tears and unable to look away from Oliver. Wilford heads the group with Yandere, who’s still distraught, weeping in his arms. The other egos gasp and cry out as what happened sinks in. Some begin to cry, some are in too much shock. The Jims swarm Bim in tears at the sight of Oliver, and Bim does his best to comfort them. Ed steps in front of Eric, trying to shield him from the carnage, but Eric begins sobbing anyway. King and Silver are horrified to see Dr. Iplier, one of the oldest and most steadfast of them all, dead in Host’s arms. The rest of them react in varying levels of despair, all knowing that Anti has gotten away, and that he’s taken the lives of three of their own with him.

“Good god, what happened?” asks Damien, quietly horrified and barely audible through the screams and sobs of the other egos.

“What do you think?” asks Wilford, no longer enraged, but only exhausted. “We lost.”

[carelessgraces]

i’m watching helstrom bc i love pain and suffering and there are a few points that need to be made:

1. does daimon know i love him 2. does ana know i love her 3. i find it so?? cool?? that the siblings each embody a different kind of horror?? for daimon the world is inherently good and evil a choice: it’s why he’s so sure they can save victoria if they just hold on a little longer, it’s why he has the hardest time controlling his own nature at times and why he’s the one dealing with so much intense guilt over not being able to save everyone. for ana the world is apathetic, and horror isn’t in the choice to do evil, it’s in the predisposition of evil: even if she tries so hard and does everything right the ultimate fear is becoming her father, the ultimate fear is that she cannot withstand the storm ( compared to daimon, whose ultimate fear is that he’ll make the wrong choice ). and that’s linked so closely & intimately with their personal traumas with their parents — daimon having to become the caretaker at twelve, ana as the victim forced to help her father. in the one case, evil is a choice one makes; in the other, evil is a condition inflicted upon a victim, and the choice is to fight it.  4. the tenderness of the found family — daimon defending dr. hastings constantly, daimon looking at dr. hastings as a mother as much as he remembers victoria as a mother, daimon constantly moving to put himself between gabriella and any harm coming to her; ana talking about chris as her partner and then treating him, time and again, as her partner — deserving of information, deserving of tough love, and her guilt at failing to provide that to him; ana and daimon having no idea how to engage w/ each other because it’s been so long since they thought of each other as “family” in the way that ana thinks of chris / daimon things of dr. hastings. 

anyway i love pain and suffering and also the helstrom sibs

[deanky]

Here are some little like ‘reviews’ of all the Oingo Boingo albums... Under cut LOL... I just like to talk about Oingo Boingo I am so obsessed right now they have become tied for Mr. Bungle as favorite band... But anyways... Hope you enjoy ^_^

Only a Lad: Very fun sound as a whole. I enjoy how like poppy and synthy it is and stuff and that one weird electronic voice Mr. Elf man does in like every song. I remember like actually not liking most of the songs first time I heard it and I’m not sure why because I enjoy 9/10 out of them a lot now... But then again I like almost never really like an album the first time I hear it LOL I have a mean soul. A lot of the songs have pretty evil words in them but I have like slight respect for how much hatred Danny Elfman seems to have had for everyone on the entire planet at the time of writing. And for the majority of songs I cannot really complain about because I think it fits theme of like very happy sounding song but nasty words in it duality of man and such. Only one I really do not like is Capitalism because it has the whiniest lyrics of all and also it just does not sound good like as a song I think I am sorry. I must say it. Forgive me. I was so thrilled hearing Nasty Habits for the first time because I really like songs that sound like a homosexual cartoon villain would sing them to you. Well that’s all. Only a Lad itself was one of the first songs of theirs I heard except sped up and it had a picture of anime Bart Simpson on it. I like it. Good song. Recently I cannot stop getting it and Little Girls stuck in my head. That’s all

Nothing to Fear: Everything about this album is sooooo sooo good it is like so incredibly catered specifically to my tastes. One of the few albums I have loved immediately as soon as I heard I finished listening for the first time and was immediately like oh this is going in my favorites. I add some points also for absolutely incredible beautiful cover art it’s got weird colors weird animals logo made of worm things it’s so beautiful it makes me want to cry.  I think it gets SLIGHTLY weaker in its second half but that is hard not to do with albums. That said though a lot of songs that I felt were slightly worse at first have risen to being my favorites of the album like Why’d We Come and Reptiles and Samurai. Didn’t know what to think about Running on a Treadmill at first but I think it works very well in its simplicity and it is very catchy I can imagine people like singing it on actual treadmill and like jumping around abd being in zero gravity for some reason it is like that music video where they are in the plane but it is treadmills. Well, hi. The only ones that feel like slightly slightly worse to me are Whole Day Off and Islands but I think I am growing to like both of those a lot more too. My favorites though are Grey Matter and Insects and Wild Sex and also Nothing to Fear the titular song and Why’d We Come and Reptiles and Samurai which is over half of the songs so I think that’s good.  I remember listening to Private Life like 5 times before listening to the rest of the album but I always forgot how it went immediately after not sure why because I’d say it is a reasonably catchy song. Anyways INCREDIBLE album. Rude lyrics? Still a thing but tend to be much more agreeable like it is obvious who is being made fun of in like Grey Matter and Nothing to Fear and I say the fun making is well deserved! Even though I may be the target of Grey Matter I understand and I am sorry. The general sound is also amazing I LOVE all the weird noises and metal stuff and clanks and clonks and all the xylophone. Dude the xylophone is so good. Synth and xylophone and guitar they are all best friends and they sound so cool together and I think xylophones should be more widely used in like “pop” music as a whole whatever that defines. I keep wanting to start a band and just play xylophone. Like what’s anybody gonna do to stop me? I love xylophone. That’s all

Good for Your Soul: I wasn’t so impressed by this one the first time I heard it but it quickly wormed its way up to a very close #2 and possibly even tied with Nothing to Fear as my favorite album of theirs. The album art on this one is also really good I will say! I felt like slightly let down at first by it just because it’s so hard to live up to how beautiful of a cover Nothing to Fear has in my mind. But its art is so cool too. Muscle man in wobbly world. What’s more to love (Side note I enjoy the song Wobbly World it is not an Oingo Boingo song it is by Devo I should listen to more Devo.) The first time I listened the only songs that REALLY jumped out at me super hard were No Spill Blood and Fill the Void, and I think those 2 are still tied as my favorites. I LOVE the whole like rhythm No Spill Blood has going on and the weird animal noises and also the lyrics they are not about Animal Farm they are about The Island of Dr. Moreau he did those surgeries don’t you know he made the animals have to be men and they were like are we not men but they didn’t say they were Devo sorry I keep talking about Devo in this Oingo Boingo album review. And BTW Fill the Void also is really great and has possibly my favorite set of lyrics in any song ever to exist which is the part like “Every little thing is a piece of a larger thing / Every little fish is a tyrant of the sea / Every little atom is a master of his family / Every single piece calls my name / What do they want from me?” It is so good it makes me go so insane I love it. Another song that works really well in just being a simple thing.  It is so nice and cool it feels like being in space and you are in one of the levels of one of those Kirby spinoff games where he’s like a ball and you’re rolling him around NOT Canvas Curse the other ones like Dream Course I think. Anyways though while I wasn’t super big on all the other songs they ended up like slowly coming back into my head one by one until I was obsessed with all of them. First it was Pictures of You. Then it was Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Me (would put that in my top 3 as well) and then Dead or Alive and then Little Guns and then Cry of the Vatos and then Wake Up It’s 1984 and then Sweat and then the titular song AND Who Do You Want to Be it was like. Wow. What a world.  WDYWTB + Good for Your Soul + Sweat were the 3 that didn’t really do it for me as much for a while but now I’ve been really enjoying them too so I think I can say I love every single song on this album. It is becoming my best friend. It’s sooo good. It feels like living in one of those fake Utopian cities and there’s actually something sinister going on behind the scenes. Like I will start seeing colors and freaking about it any time soon. Random memory that unlocked in me is that I used to be incredibly obsessed with The Book Thief and its concept of death when I was in like 6th or 7th grade like uncannily so but I never talked about the book ever I just hid it away in my mind. My sad story. Sorry everyone. That’s all

So-Lo: This one is technically just Danny Elfman but you know it is an Oingo Boingo album man they got the whole band there they were just having licensing issues because new label and stuff is my understanding. And they were like. Well let’s take advantage of this and do some less standard Oingo Boingo songs. That is how I grasp this situation I don’t know how correct I am her I actually don’t know that much about O.B. outside of the songs at this point I still cannot name any non-Danny Elfman member and I am really sorry for this and must learn to atone for my ways. This is a good album though. Once again has really good cover art I will say.  It’s like well hello there Mr. Elf man you’ve got some eyes sliding off your face and some funny colors and are controlling some little puppet things maybe it’s like you do you man LOL am I right or am I right! I like this album. This was yet another one where I listened the first time and was like. Man I’m not really feeling it with any of these songs. However I do enjoy that they all sound kind of like they were recorded on a Sega Genesis. I mean it does have very Genesis-y noises I know this was the 80s and it would be more accurate to say the Sega Genesis soudns like this album but you know what I mean. Anyways nothing grabbed me at first but upon my second listen I became extremely obsessed with the song “Go Away” and then listened to it on repeat for 2 hours straight and it still hasn’t got old for me I still like it very good song. Definitely my favorite. Tied with Everybody Needs which is also a very fun song I became similarly enamored with like a day later but didn’t listen to quite as much LOL. But anyways I went through that oh-so-familiar process which I must warn you is also the process I go through for every single album after this! - Where all the other songs started worming their way into my head and I was like oh brother I am beginnign to like them all now! Good for Your Soul, I think, marked like more obvious change from songs tending to be like “This is what Danny Elfman thinks of the world phrased in a humorous way” to more like actual stories and stuff, although the former wasn’t rid of entirely and the latter hadn’t just popped up or anything. But I think this album continued that in a really nice way and while it can be vague, listening to it I always feel that there is like one solid story all the song narratives go throughout. Someone pointed out in like Youtube Comments that Go Away feels like the sadder side of Cool City and to me it feels like the whole album is kind of in that vein. Seems to me like all the songs are in the Cool City itself and you’re seeing like the various different horrible things that go on in that town and horrible people that live in it. Yknow? Like Tough as Nails and Everybody Needs make me think of like various awful weird a$$ holbs living there and then stuff like Sucker for Mystery and Lightning and It Only Makes Me Laugh. Well they are clearly from the perspectives of some guy. The same guy? Maybe maybe not I don’t feel like they are the same guy. But it feels like they are like experiencing weird horrible sh*t in this horrible town that is filled with racists but also gay people. I like this album I enjoy it

Dead Man’s Party: OK I am sorry to say. This is a good album but it hasn’t COMPLETELY grown on me yet. But I DO like it a lot. I enjoy it it’s good. I really really love Just Another Day and the titular song and Heard Somebody Cry and Nobody Lives Forever and Weird Science which is over half of them so not bad all things considered. And I do not DISLIKE any songs. But the other ones haven’t quite grown on me yet. This album does kind of shift into like the more commercial stuff it’s not like generic pop or nothing. But it is like slightly strange to get used to. That said. The songs I like I REALLY like thye are so good. No One Lives Forever is an incredible incredible song just like Nasty Habits it fulfills my love of songs that sound like they are being sung by evil guys in cartoons but are not they’re actually being sung by Danny Elfman who is an evil guy in real life. Sorry I didn’t mean it he probably is not that evil I’m sure he’s perfectly nice Mr. Elf man if you are reading this I apologize. Anyways though. I like the general sound of this album I will say! I think though it has thing going on where like, in my mind, some of the songs feel like way too happy and overly peppy almost like mocking. I have a weird mind and a weird way of processing things and I am also incredibly afraid of everything on this planet so keep that in mind BTW I am sorry. But like Stay and Fool’s Paradise and Help Me and Same Man I was Before all have that kind of feeling to me, it’s like these are so cheerful and cheesy sounding to me it kind of scares me a little bit. However... I am starting to feel this less with Help me and Stay, and also I felt this a little bit with Heard Somebody Cry at first as well and I no longer do. So maybe I’m still going through the motions of song-liking as I do.  As I said though the favorites on here are incredible. Weird Science may have been written for strange movie deal and they may be really saddened by its memory or maybe just the music video’s memory but it’s a very fun song nevertheless. Dead Man’s Party itself it really fun true classic. Very orange song to me. It’s orange and purple like I hear it and I am like ah yes I am experiencing orange and purple. Very nice shades of orange and purple though, and they are mixing together in pleasing ways and throwing a big party and everyone’s invited you might even say it’s a dead man’s party heh heh heh (grins devilishly). I think this like takes the kind of narratives in Good for Your Soul and So-Lo and like takes it to best form! In that it has a very clear yet not super specific narrative going on throughout the whole album, I really like whenever an album has songs set up so pleasingly and nice like that it makes me sad when they’re just like in random order. But of course this album is all about death and accepting it and stuff and like all the different feelings of sadness and happiness and stuff that all go into it! And I like its message a lot, like obviously you shouldn’t want to die but don’t fear it. It has a very nice depiction of the afterlife. I like all the stuff in Beetlejuice and Corpse Bride with their similar interpretations too although Beetlejuice isn’t quite as positive about it LOL. I want to watch Corpse Bride again. I want to see another singing Danny Elfman skeleton. I want to see the Peter Lorre worm. My one complaint with the album narrative is that Weird Science goes at the end it kinda ruins the whole story a little bit but I can’t fault them because like where COULD they put it?  I think it might work kind of well as the first song because like trying to make frankenstein guy before all the accepting death stuff makes sense. But also. It would be a weird opener. Also the album art is so incredible I love it I want to join their party it’s beautiful. I did not mean for this review to get as long as it did. They just keep getting longer each album I’m sorry the length does not show my opinion but I just keep getting more excited each album

Boi-Ngo: Will admit this one is my least favorite. And once again my bias shows because it has cover art I don’t like very much. It’s just real guys looking at you. Where’s the funny Oingo Boingo touch where’s the charm people!??!? it makes me sad. And also, as a whole, while I DO like most of the songs I feel like I don’t like them as much as I like any of the ones on other albums, and it also has my least favorite song I’ve heard other than Capitalism which is We Close Our Eyes sorry I’ve seen a lot of people who really like that one but it just scares me. It feels so insincere to me it makes me feel that thing once more where it’s like this song is waaayyy to happy and peppy to not feel like it’s kind of sinister deep down. I apologize. It is a fun album however! I think it kind of goes back more to “Danny Elfman’s humorous observations about life”, which is not always a bad thing, but it seems to revert a little bit too much back to like him just being kind of whiny and not making much of a point in like, say, New Generation. Although it is a nice song I think! It scares me when he goes like now he’s got you by the balls. I understand the point of that lyric. But it frightens me.  I think my favorites are Home Again, Elevator Man, Not My Slave (although lyrics feel like slightly concerning), Outrageous, and Pain. Which once again is more than half the album so shows what I know complaining about it this whole time. 

Dark at the End of the Tunnel: I feel bad for this album because before listening to it I always forgot it existed, like I listened to Boi-Ngo and was like aw man I only have one album left! Oh wait nevermind I have 2. And now I keep fearing there’s another one I forgot not including like the live albums and singles stuff. Maybe there is.... haunting me But anyways... I already did like incomprehensible post talking about this one earlier LOL which inspired me to do more equally incomprehensible things on all the other albums hence this post. So I’ve already said a lot of what I have to say about this and hope not to repeat it too much... but... LOL I was so afraid wondering if I would actually like this one or not... I wanted to just because of how awesome the cover art is. And I was afraid because I wasn’t really a big fan of most of the songs at first. But I think with this album and the whole Boingo era they were moving towards like more orchestral stuff and changing their sound and all... So it was a bit strange to get used to at first but the more I listened the more I enjoyed everything I guess like taking in all the instruments and textures and what not. A lot of the songs in this one also feel like kind of creepily cheery but I think it works best for this album specifically, because as I’ve said before it feels very intentional - there is like whole dual thing of more dark mysterious sections and light-hearted happy sections in most of the songs. Although my top 3 are all songs that mostly just have the former going on... Right to Know, Long Breakdown, and Run Away.  I also really enjoy When the Lights Go Out, Skin, Out of Control (though it still feels like vaguely scary to me LOL), and Glory Be... But I keep finding myself getting all the others stuck in my head as well. So still growing on me LOL! I am beginning to appreciate all the other songs more for those cheerier parts as well yknow... I think this whole album has a very fantastical vibe to it LOL but definitely like, a very old fantasy. Like they discovered this album in a giant wizard’s tower like ten thousand years ago and now it’s been unearthed again. But it was created by a child wizard who was like 5 years old. But still had a wizard beard. That’s the guy on the cover I’ve decided. Little wizard from long ago.  However... It does feel like it’s kind of setting up something. Like all the songs do... whole album is good but feels like it’s kind of a preparation for the next one. Which doesn’t make it bad! Just like I feel like it’s kind of part of a set... Incomplete on its own yknow? I would probably rank it in my lower 4 of all the albums but I’ll still say I enjoyed it quite a bit, that is no insult. And I like wizards

Boingo: This album is SO good dude. I’m glad this is what they left off on. Really great finishing album... I have a weird timeline involving this one because it was actually the first album I listened to, my dad showed it to me, but I only ever listened up to Lost Like This before very recently and by recently I mean today and I am still listening to Changes for the first time as I write this which is probably a bad idea but I am doing it anyways. Anyways though... The first O.B. songs my dad showed to me ever were Insanity from this album and Dead Man’s Party the song, and despite how different their two sources are they both have extremely similar structure I think. And so I kind of painted this picture of like all Oingo Boingo songs being similarly structured around 6-7 minutes and mostly repeating the same different sections in slightly different ways. And I am pleased that this album kind of fulfills that - a lot of the songs are like 2-3x longer than they really need to be but I enjoy that because I love long songs.  As I mentioned earlier, DatEotT feels like it’s just the beginning of something, and this provides a very satisfying ‘second half’. I think it works well by itself too, though! Boingo marks such a big change musically from everything else before even DatEoT but it somehow stays very true to their old spirit anyways.. But everything feels so much grander and I really like it. Almost every song has a pretty wistful melancholy feel but at the same time ALSO almost every song but like a different set of almost every song is very big and bombastic. So it definitely has that “well this is our last album goodbye” feel to it. But it’s OK. It’s like a big grand finale. If there was a like an Oingo Boingo musical that had every single song for some reason and lasted like 10 hours I feel like the other albums could be switched around the whole thing regardless of their actual releases, but this one would HAVE to be last. Adding to that, I feel like it really like takes a lot of the earlier concepts I’ve liked a lot in previous albums and had them return. Like So-Lo, many of the songs have pretty different narratives, but all feel like they can be one loose intertwined thing. Pedestrian Wolves and Lost Like This definitely feel connected for one... and like Insanity and Changes provide like nice bookends where the first is like analyzing the world around us and then the second is analyzing the self. Side note. Danny Elfman is always referring to himself as stupid in Oingo Boingo songs. And sometimes it’s just like PoV character or something. But it ticks me off a little bit because he is like clearly not stupid he is like a crazy evil genius.  But ALSO I’m not really sure what exactly the whole story of Boingo is, but it just feels connected in some sort of mysterious way yknow? Maybe it will appear to me later... If Dark at the End of the Tunnel was created by a little five year old wizard ten thousand years ago, this was created by the same wizard when he was reaching the end of his life and was in the wizard’s nursing home in like the 1920s. It still feels like mildly aged, there is SOMETHING about it that feels like it’s meant to be played on like an extremely old awful record player, but it has a much more modern feeling. It almost feels like another interpretation of the afterlife... Maybe that more Beetlejuice kind where it’s just like real life at first but if you peek around the corner you’ll find all the weird sandworms and colorful ghosts and stuff. Anyways though. This album is so good. Not my favorite right now, but definitely in top 3, like at the moment of writing this I would say. #1 is Nothing to Fear. #2 is Good for Your Soul. #3 is Boingo. But I am loving it soooo much on my first actual full listen even though I’ve had time to like absorb half the songs already admittedly. So it might end up being my favorite after all! I think my 3 favorite tracks also on this are Insanity, Lost Like This, and Hey!. Random completely unrelated parallel to my other favorite band. I like that they have a song called Hey! and Mr. Bungle has a song called Hi! It all fits together. And they both have the exclamation point. But anyways ALSO since I’ve only finished listening for the first time Changes finished while I was writing this BTW. I am still figuring out my opinions on the rest of the songs. Don’t think the I am the Walrus cover QUITE does it for me, I like Spider and War Again but not sure if they’re favorites. I hated Can’t See/Useless the first time I listened but now I like it how about that! ONE MORE thing I like about this. Is its songs feel like continuations of stuff in other albums. Although that may just be because of similar themes! Like, War Again feels like a continuation of both Nothing to Fear and Little Guns but it’s about similar subjects to both. And Tender Lumplings, Little Girls, no real explanation needed there. Insanity and Nasty Habits match up pretty well, with both just being like about hating the world although Nasty Habits is more specific than that LOL. Mary is a girl who is unfairly ostracized, Johnny of Only a Lad is a boy who is unfairly praised, you know.  And also one more thing ONE more I know this one ALSO kinda has the classic Danny Elfman yells about things stuff going on but I feel like this is the album where it works best. But maybe I am just a hypocrite. OK that’s all. Hi

[yshai-tia]

thanks to @house-vexile​‘s idea about spreading some appreciation with reckless abandon in honour of the holiday season, here’s my attempt at being obnoxiously sappy towards all the folk who’ve extended their kindness my way, and just in general, since i made this blog some odd few months ago. time to spread some good cheer and all that, leggo.

first section is dedicated to the folk who’ve written with me/are currently writing with me. not to sound like some hot popular bitch but you all reached out to me and right off the bat i’m stupidly grateful for that because it cannot always be easy to just straight up contact a complete stranger like ‘H-HEY WRITE WITH ME MAYBE?!?!’ ya’ll got stones. own that shit.

@ayice-tia​ of course you gotta be first ‘cause you were the first person to contact me not too long after i threw that messy LFRP post to the winds. i still get a laugh out of the fact that you thought i wouldn’t respond back to you u fewl, now we’ve been writing for months, surprise!! where to start. you’re the first person to sit down and dedicate to long-term writing with me and it’s thanks to you that i’ve been able (and am still currently doing so, let’s be real) to flesh out so much of Shai’s character. like i go back and reread our first posts and i barely even have a grasp on his manner of speech yet let alone most other things. between writing with you and constantly shooting the shit with you on discord he’s been able to rapidly take form into a fully fledged character with a lot more depth than I ever expected-- i’m especially appreciative of all the long talks we’ve had about brainstorming tribal lore, to toss ideas back and forth about our catte’s respective homes and their people has been some of the best manner of character building.

you already know how much I adore Yice, being able to watch him grow into a complex character in his own right has been such a treat, how he grows into his confidence yet never loses his good heart in the process. i love how you are able to so perfectly write a character who’s an absolute ray of sunshine yet has this undeniable simmering fire underneath. when i think of the trope ‘my kindness is not weakness’ Yice comes to mind instantly, and you nail that essence with aplomb. anyway, i hope to continue writing with you for a long time to come!! thank you for reaching out to me and sticking around this entire time. also p.s. never stop sending me photos of your dog

@further-ruin​ we may not have written all that much together yet (yet™!!!) but it’d be remiss for me not to talk about how lovely your writing is. your attention for detail, especially character-wise, is so good and goes such a length to really add liveliness to a scene. even if the scene is two frozen cattes talking in a cave somewhere in godsforsaken Coerthas, i’m still into it, and the effort you put in really shows because i may not be all too familiar with Izzy just yet but i’m already invested in his mannerisms, his potential, what could be brought forth from behind that carefully maintained icy facade. he already has Shai’s curiosity piqued that’s for damn certain. i can’t wait to see where things go and, in the mean time, enjoy your vacation! man i wish i was on a beach right now.... i bet they do too, if they weather this storm Shai is gonna drag Izzy’s ass to Costa

@hiraethwyl​ oh Lyrin’a. Lyrin’a is such a cutie. Writing with you is definitely such a nice relaxing reprieve, you’re the first, and still the only, person to approach me with the rp hook of ‘hey build something for my character!’ and that alone made me stupidly happy, for 1) getting to write out a scene that involves Shai’s normal-ass day job, and 2) because someone read enough about his character to realize “oh he could probably do this thing i need.” and, of course, you already saw ICly how ecstatic Shai was at the chance of getting to build Lyrin’a a new brace, he cannot wait to get started. your writing has such a gentle lilt to it, i can easily get lost in reading those stand alone pieces you post on your blog, i love them. i’m eager to see him flourish more as a character, maybe Shai will be able to convince him to show him around the Shroud a bit? share some of his Keeper culture with him? we shall see!

@swordmens​ you i specifically left for last because i could talk about your writing until the year rolls over and then some. holy shit. where do i even begin? your meticulous care for detail, the way you build a scene, the atmosphere, everything. you just fucking nail it again and again without fail and it leaves me in awe. honestly in the beginning i was so stupidly intimidated, some legit real writer’s fear, like ‘they are so good at this?? oh my god??? i don’t think i can keep up????? does this drivel i send their way even compare??????’ absolute terror. at this point the intimidation is mostly abated (still kinda there little bit ngl) but my adoration of your writing has not, i could never tire of reading everything you put out there. there’s this inherent level of thrill knowing you’re writing with someone that, no matter how exactly you toss up the ball, they will in some way or another spike that shit with intensity. i just. so damn good. please never stop writing. ultimately, in the long-run, the intimidation was a beneficial thing because rising to the challenge of wanting to keep up with your writing went from ‘oh shit i’m scared, every word’s gotta be perfect’ to ‘oh fuck this is a lot of fun actually???’ and i’d like to imagine my own writing has benefited from it, if anything my confidence as a writer absolutely has and i have you to thank for that. as far as collaborative writing goes, i don’t think you can ask for much more than a rp partner that you both genuinely enjoy writing with and actively challenges you. i’m extremely grateful for the chance to write with you.

tl;dr i adore your writing, i adore writing with you, i adore Castor. i’m sorry i didn’t take your initial offer of having them meet in a more laid-back fashion and now they’re both beat forty different shades of shit from sunday while simultaneously trying to row up shit’s creek without a paddle LMAO as sorry as i feel for them it’s been fun every single step of the way

@silvernsteel​ @eorzeanincubus​ @nikoto-n​ @kytir​ @amahrigold​ @xavi-ffxiv​ @twelveswood​ @confusedtia​ @miqojak​ @placesyoucallhome​ @a-corsairs-chorus​ @gayhaurchefant​ @lightdevoid​ @sola-ffxiv​ @ishgard​ @voidwife​ @sand-seeks-sun​ @wondereverlasting​ @ivyffxiv​ @alphadrg​ @az-ffxiv​ @mai-takeda​ @vylette-elakha​ @dravaniia​ @gatheredfates​ @aife-ffxiv @lordittetsu

ya’ll are no doubt like, oh sweet jesus why is he tagging me, leave me out of this nonsense. tough nuts. your ass is getting tagged for one of the following reasons: we’ve talked about writing together but haven’t quite yet, i’ve noticed how often you reblog my photosets, you say nice things about my stupid cat boy, you tag me in shit, you’re just a general, overall positive presence whomst’ve i adore seeing on my dash, you said one (1) nice thing to me last month and i still haven’t forgotten it, you deserve to be called out for being great, etc etc. appreciate yourselves, ‘cause i appreciate ya’ll. also write with me sometime :dagger:

[askmyboys]

Taz

Name: Taz | Gender: Male | Age: Oh god who knows | Species/Race: Darkness (literally, he's just- a pitch black being of pure darkness) | Height: 3 inches tall (he can sizeshift tho, I mean, it seems only natural he can do that) | Appearance: See, he has a human form of his own that he takes on, he can sorta like, its like a copycat situation, any human he sees he could technically take a form of like a doppelganger but he has certain styles and bodies he fancies... BUT his actual human form that he has wears a lot of punk like clothing, leather jackets with spikes on them, pants with chains hanging on them, combat boots, he also has a circle beard, his eyes in his human form are a dull grey-ish kind of color, he also has razor sharp teeth, pointy ears, and claws but he does at least hide the claws with black gloves with spikes on them, oh and his hair is like jet black and p much just flows. His true form is literally just a shadow-y cloud of darkness, nothing too special bout it really except for his eyes, they are a red color (he can shape himself into someone's worst fear or really just whatever he feels like if need be, I mean it IS a cloud of darkness, its like a shapeshifter situation, yeah!) | Personality: Now THIS is a true bastard incarnate, like seriously, even tho he's probably an ancient being of pure darkness, he acts like a toddler when he doesn't get his way, he has somehow successfully managed to annoy even the OTHER beings of darkness, he's more annoying then scary but he can use that to his advantage, he has annoyed a human so badly they moved out and when he followed them, they just... kinda broke.... Which wasn't as fun, now if he puts his mind to it, I'm not saying he CANNOT actually be scary bc he can, oh my god he absolutely can if he puts his mind to it, but he just prefers to be the most annoying lil shit to people to drive them insane that way, its much more fun! (tl;dr: He's a bastard, like usually I joke bout that but nope, he is 100% bastard who will steal your food and drinks and toss them away bc he doesnt actually need to eat then he calls you a bitch, he'll steal anything he wants truth be told, he doesnt care- hell, he'll steal your fucking loved ones away from you if you mess with him too much, he has a short temper and can get angry p easily tbh, honestly he'll just do e v e r y t h i n g in his power to make your life a living hell and your mind? S h a t t e r e d- even tho its not fun anymore when they break but eh it happens every time) | Side Facts: Welp uh, it DOESNT happen every time, he's living with a human right now and they haven't been broken yet, they just seem tired and irritated all the time for no apparent reason, they always look like they haven't gotten a good night's sleep in ages which is probably true, there's also another being of darkness that was assigned to this human so Taz here is ALWAYS trying to one-up him, NO being of darkness is better than him after all! He has a bit of a narcissistic streak in him, I won't deny that- So anything he does to the human, Taz can ALWAYS do better! This other being of darkness, Aldrich- who's description you'll see in a second- Taz just, he doesn't seem to like him too good and for good reason, Aldrich is definitely a higher class than him, a higher rank, top tier even- He is absolutely above Taz, and that's what Taz absolutely cant STAND, nobody should be a higher class than him, anyone above him needs to be put in their place, the way Aldrich talks and just- his attitude towards things doesn't help, he's too classy n clean- So Taz gotta see to it he deals with this human before Aldrich does. Gotta prove that Aldrich isn't above him in any way, nope- not at all! He's actually secretly scared of Aldrich, yep, you heard me- a being of darkness is actually afraid of something, he just acts tough and not scared around him, but, secretly, he is ABSOLUTELY terrified of this being, Taz KNOWS what he's capable of, if he just so wanted he could plunge the world into eternal darkness, and who knows that might be his goals for the future, might not be, Aldrich can be a v e r y unpredictable being, ya never really know what he's gonna do next, but- Taz will NEVER reveal that he's scared, nope- Aldrich CANT find out, or else... Well let's just say something not good will happen... Ya know, there IS a reason Taz is like he is, even if he is a being of darkness, it was when he was... y o u n g, well to the other beings of darkness he was young, to a human his age would have still seemed ancient, but anyways, he actually did have a family, in fact, him and Aldrich both did but, eh, im not gonna reveal a n y t h i n g bout Aldrich's family just yet, for now its time to focus on Taz, his family ehhh well... they weren't the best, they weren't good at all- hell I wouldn't even call it a family, its more like just a gang where everyone fends for themselves, nobody helps each other, the weakest are always left behind to die or fade away. Taz, he was... one of the weakest, I won't say he was the weakest of EVERYONE of them bc he wasn't there was someone else but he doesn't... talk about them, he just sorta repressed his memories bout them, hell, probs for the best- their probably dead now... Or worse, but his family never did care for him, no affection was had for ANYONE, almost everyone was out for blood or something similar to it, if you even THOUGHT about asking for help with anything you were considered weak and affection? What kind of being of pure darkness needs that stupid shit?! That was VERY frowned upon in his "clan" yeah, let's call it a clan, he's pretty much had to fend for himself his entire life, nobody to help him, nobody ever showed him any love or affection, it'd have made him weaker than that other being, or that's his mentality, love, care, help, all of that, it makes you w e a k, pathetic, the only way to get by is to rely on yourself and yourself alone. His "clan" treated him like pure shit, at first when he was "learning" about the consequences of asking for help, it was horrid, he got picked on, called names and even got hit and beat up, by what humans would consider his "parents" even, his father and mother tolerated n o n e of that, no "child" of theirs is going to have any affection, help, etc- It'll make them weak and they. will. NOT. have. a. weak. member. of. the. clan... After Taz grew up, he definitely became stronger, for sure, he also became more.... chaotic, more unstable, and he'd do anything and everything he could to get attention, at this point he just began fucking CRAVING it, he'd act out, do anything he could to piss his "parents" and the rest of his clan off, never in his entire life has he ever gotten any positive attention whatsoever, so whenever he didn't have any attention at all, it.... he just began freaking out and throwing tantrums, he couldn't deal without having any attention on him w h a t s o e v e r. Essentially, like, even tho nobody cared for each other n shit, they did have some kinda mentality to stick around with each other, it was mainly just because, they did AT THE VERY L E A S T need their kids to survive, survive the baby stages, and grow on up so there could be more of their species/race, once they grew up though, they were all on their own, armies were an option of course if need be, but Taz? He didn't need anyone, he d o e s n t need anyone, he can take care of things himself, he can do what he needs to, after all, his mentality p much got fucked up so badly now that he thinks any being who needs an army, help, etc- just any of that is weak- His childhood, fam, its all wack yo- my fingers are tired and I cant think of a better way to describe this, basically, they are the cause of why he's so fucked up like he is, why he's so chaotic, a punk bastard, and just- honestly a fucking asshole in general- bc of the mentality they basically FORCED onto him.

[thorofasgard007]

Casting my WIP:  “Blade of Penance Volume I:  Bore of Great Sacrifice”

Haven’t posted anything in a while thought I would put up a fun game for us aspiring authors out there.  My first draft nears completion.  Just a the final fight, “mop-up” and a couple appendices to write.  Hoping to be done this week while I am on vacation. *fingers crossed*

Anyway, I saw a YouTube video posted by an authortuber I follow named Kim Chance where she went through the dream casting of her newest book Seeker (soon to be released here is the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5Rmhm8HhE8).  I was thinking while I was running some errands earlier today I should do something similar.  If my novel(s) ever get made into a movie whom would I cast as each character?  So I decided to post that here and see what other authors/aspiring authors would cast as their characters.  Name the character, a brief description of them, then the actor/actress and why you would cast them.  

Here are the rules:  #1)  You have to use the actors/actresses as they are TODAY.  No using “Early 80′s Arnold” or Clint Eastwood like he was when he played Dirty Harry.  It also goes without saying you can’t use actors that have retired from acting or passed away.  #2)  If there is a seminal movie/tv show in your genre you cannot use actors from that franchise.  Since this rule can really make things difficult you can use up to TWO exceptions to rule #2.  Since my WIP is epic fantasy both actors from Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movies and Game of Thrones are disqualified.

Okay here we go.

Dorath:

The father of my hero Kaaldor.  A former general and hero of the Battle of Gos.  The last scion of the House of Dranus who’s progenitor alongside Ka’Reyus The Elven Warrior King lead the Great Liberation against the Dragon Rule of Rab Yangin 500 years ago.  Few either human or elf could match his skill with the blade save maybe one.

At first I thought of The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment:  Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  I even used his physique as a bit of a template when I was doing up his character model.  However in the end I thought he should be cast a bit younger (Don’t hit me with the People’s Elbow Rock.)

Therefore I will use one of my exceptions early and go with Aquaman, aka Kahl Drogo, Mr. Jason Mamoa.

Ka’Reyus:

The Elven Warrior King and Grandfather to my hero.  Unquestionably the greatest warrior alive.  Has gone unmatched in swordsmanship for over 500 years.  Single headedly fought and slew three dragons at once.  Him and Dranus (Dorath’s ancestor) tag-teamed to slay the corrupted dragon lord Rab Yangin to free the continent of Kalis from drake rule.  Is Dorath his equal as a warrior??? SPOILERS :)

For him I batted around a few choices including Liam Neeson and Russel Crowe of course cgi would have to be used to size them down because as an elf Ka’Reyus was only 5 feet tall.

I finally decided on Wolverine himself (aka Jean ValJean, aka PT Barnum) Hugh Jackman.

(Yes this is an older pic... but I wanted one of him as Wolverine :) )

Princess Almelphia:

Mother of Kaaldor.  Only child of Ka’Reyus.  The unchallenged beauty of Elvendom.  All the nobility compete for her attention not only for her beauty but that whomever she chose as her husband would be the likely successor to the elven throne.  She is also is the only member of the royal house with any magical ability, even though it is just limited to reading the memories left behind on things/people that she touches.  While my hero was growing up she always called him her “little champion” and he did everything he could to live up to that title.

She was a tough choice.  If I wanted to use my second exception I would have chosen The Khalessi herself Emilia Clarke but considering Jason Mamoa is Dorath… that may be a little much.  I also considered Miranda Otto (aka Eowyn) but again didn’t want to use my second exception.  Therefore I decided to go with Jenna Coleman aka Clara Oswald from Dr. Who, and Queen Victoria on Victoria.

Here she is from the “Robin Hood Episode” of Dr. Who so you could see how she would look in a fantasy setting.

Ka’Vatch:

Lifelong friend of Ka’Reyus and Elvul Ka’s(the elven nation’s) foremost smith.  Him and Ka’Reyus both learned their weaponry by working his father’s forge.  Growing up Kaaldor learned from Ka’Vatch at the same forge.  To be a great warrior you must both know your weapons and then know yourself.  The weapons part started with Ka’Vatch after an 8 year old Kaaldor hid in his smith from bullies that didn’t like that he was half human.

For him I thought about Michael Ironside.  Granted you usually see him as a bad guy (and he plays a great villain, especially with his voice work... if they ever do a live action version of Darkseid they should have him reprise the role from his voice work on Superman: TAS etc).  However age is a factor.  Therefor I chose Josh Brolin aka Thanos… aka Cable.

Ka’Draoi: (pronounced Ka’ DREE, gotta love Gaelic)

Grand Thaumaturge of Elvul Ka’ and one of the world’s most powerful wizards.  He draws his power from the Blue Flame like all elves and fought along side Ka’Reyus and Dranus in The Great Liberation.  Being such a long time friend of the king he can often get away with breaches of proper decorum and has been known to have a bit of a ...shall we say “unique” sense of humour.

My original choice for this role was of course Sean Connery... but he has been retired from acting for some time.  I thought about Terrance Stamp (aka General Zod from Superman II, my all time favourite movie villain) but decided against it.  I didn’t want to use another exception or to be seen as him being a Gandalf clone so no Sir Ian McKellan.

In the end I chose another James Bond Pierce Brosnan, he can command the regal presence and wisdom Ka’Draoi needs, plus have the comic timing to pull off the sense of humour needed.

Ok.  That covers Kaaldor’s family and the elves.  Now lets move on to some more human characters.

Admiral Jagaran:

He is the Admiral of the Palan fleet (the main villain nation of the story) and in command of its new flagship The Jorgmundr (a ship completely made of dragonbone).  He is a very skilled warrior, especially at see and a cunning strategist.  He always takes the most straightforward path to victory whether it is an honourable choice or not.  However he has been known to let his ego get the better of him.

My first choice was Peter Wingfield.  Highlander fans will recognise him as Methos from the 90′s Highlander TV series.  (As a point of trivia I watched some of Methos’ sword fights on the series to map out some of this character’s move sets).  However he has apparently retired from acting and at last report was pursuing a career in medicine.

So instead I went with Rome’s Ray Stevenson, he has been in many other things but I mostly know him as Titus Pullo on Rome, Volstagg from the MCU and as Frank Castle in Punisher: War Zone (I should dust that one off I haven’t watched it in a while)

Anonyus:

The Mage assigned to the Jorgmundr.  Although he technically outranks Jagaran as he is a mage his role on the ship is similar to that of a “political officer” on the old Soviet ships.  He is your classic sadist that makes King Joffrey and Reese Bolton look like boy scouts.  He prefers to invoke fear in his adversaries of what he may do than to actually inflict the pain.

For him I went back to the MCU and chose Tom Hiddleston, aka Loki.  I just love him as a villain.

(Point of trivia... he originally auditioned for the part of Thor... go fig because he was so good as Loki.)

Armorton:

The chief slave-driver on The Jorgmundr, and a sadist son of a... gun (trying to keep this PG) in his own right.  He takes perverse pleasure in publicly and brutally executing slaves that can no longer work in the bowels of the ship... or just make an example of.  As he is more a hand to hand brute than a swordsman I went with a wrestler/actor for him.  Dave Bautista from Guardians of the Galaxy (gee I am pulling a lot from the MCU) and Spectre, also a former WWE Champion.

Ok... let’s get away from the villains for a bit.

Dex:

The classic dashing rogue.  Thinks he is “the pyres” gift to women and even names his lockpicks after his conquests.  Never met a maiden he didn’t want to hit on.  Or a full coin-purse he didn’t want to cut.  Always ready with a witty retort but also willing to help when he sees something unjust.  Kaaldor sometimes sees him as his best friend... and other times wants to punch him.  But they somehow make it work as they defend the village of Belieret from the warlord Tyv.

This character needs the comic timing that only Ryan Reynolds can provide.  I have been a fan of his since he was in Blade: Trinity (not as bad as everybody says) and he was dead on casting as Deadpool.

Klok:

A Baegian merchant that is one of the few in Belieret willing to learn how to fight to protect his new home.  His own brother betrayed him when the Baegian King became a vassal for Q’Rab The Sorcerer King of Palis and Klok began to speak ill of the new regime.  He couldn’t let hit happen again with Tyv.

I have chosen a bit of an odd choice.  A TV actor named Alimi Ballard.  He has been on many TV shows but I mostly remember him as David Sinclair on Numb3rs.

Ok lets do some more villains then we will go for the Hero and Heroine.

Tyv:

The warlord that is pulling the old extortion racket on the village of Belieret.  He blames Ka’Reyus for ***SPOILERS***.  Little do the villagers know he is just a cog in the machinery of one of Q’Rab’s plans.  In the meantime he plans to take his revenge on Ka’Reyus by sending him Kaaldor’s head.

For this I am going cast Clancy Brown, mostly because he played my #2 all time favourite movie villain The Kurgan in Highlander.  You would also recognise him from The Shawshank Redemption and Starship Troopers.  He as also done a lot of voice work, including Lex Luthor for Superman: TAS, Savage Oppress on Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Mr. Krabs on SpongeBob SquarePants (lol).

Hespera:

Apprentice to the Sorcerer Q’Rab and Master/Mistress to Anonyus.  She suffers no failure and many of her apprentices have felt her wrath.  None have lived to tell the tale.  Her vanity is her weakness and although devoted to Q’Rab for centuries she has been known to have her own machinations to undermine his plans.  You only briefly see her in the first book... but I plan to have her take a much larger role in book 2.

For her... if she is willing to be a redhead my first choice is Wonder Woman herself Gal Gadot.  She can be both regal, the flirt to ensnare men but then switch gears to be something menacing all at once.

(come on I had to choose a Wonder Woman pic... all the world is waiting for you... and the powers you possess :) )

Q’Rab:

Sorcerer King of Palis and has ruled for over 200 years.  He draws his power from the Black Flame and rarely gets his hands dirty himself but is always a Master of Puppets pulling strings from afar.  All under his rule are fanatically devoted to him.  Whenever he is mentioned they finish the sentence with “May his reign be eternal”.   It has yet to be determined who is the more powerful wizard if him and Ka’Draoi were to meet in a duel, and the true goal of his plans while he is at war with the nation of Corlot are ****SPOILERS****.  His origins are ***SPOILERS***.

For him I went with a bit of an odd choice, I needed a classical type of actor but one that wasn’t your standard English baddie.  I went with Alexander Siddig.  While best known as Dr. Bashir on Star Trek:  Deep Space Nine, he also has a long movie and TV career including 24, Gotham on the small screen and Kingdom of Heaven and The Nativity Story on the big screen.  If he can pull off both The Angel Gabriel and Ra’s Al Ghul he can pull of Q’Rab.  (Note:  As he was also Doran Tyrell on Game of Thrones... he is my second exception)

Ok... you are saying enough with the villains.  Fine lets get to the main event.  My hero and heroine.  First the Heroine:

Renna:

Daughter of the captain of The Divine Lady, the ship that Kaaldor is a passenger on when The Jorgmundr strikes.  While able to fight for herself knows when she is out of her depth and instead fits into the facilitator role to get Kaaldor what he needs to win.  She can also act as the diplomat to Kaaldor’s brute force as she knows not every problem can best be solved by the right amount of smashing.  She is not the damsel in distress like Lois Lane that always needs a Superman to rescue her, but she also knows she doesn’t have to be Xena to be strong either.

This one was a hard choice... The aforementioned Jenna Coleman was a strong contender at one point.  I also considered Rosa Salazar (loved her in Alita Battle Angel) however in the end (maybe because I just did a binge watch of Cobra Kai over the Labour Day Weekend) I chose Mary Mouser (Samantha LaRusso on Cobra Kai).  Her look is the right combo of innocence, beauty and strength which is what you need to play Renna.

Finally.

Kaaldor:

The hero of the story.  Half-elf and half human.  Trained by his grandfather since he was eight years old to be a warrior without equal.  He was even able to fight Ka’Reyus to a draw.  Though of the elvish royal family very few fully accept him as part of elvish society.  He can never let an injustice stand and sometimes gets himself deep in a bad situation by acting without thinking.  But still is the one willing to act when others are too scared to.  In the end he must complete his quest to ***SPOILERS***

For him I originally thought of Daniel Cudmore, I best remember him as Colossus in X-Men 2 and X-Men 3 (boy did three SUCK).  However in the end thought a Hemsworth was a better fit.  Not Chris (Thor)… but Liam (Expendables 2, The Hunger Games).  (Note:  He will probably have to bulk up a bit as when I wrote the character I was thinking “Early 80′s Arnold”)

Well There you go... It was a lot of fun going through this.  For all you authors/aspiring authors out there... lets see your own lists.  Use the Tag below. :)

[sunnyupsidedown]

Thoughts On: The Raven Cycle

(Or more appropriately named, Me screaming about my feelings into the void known as the Internet.)

Note: I never actually finished writing this out and editing it so it would be readable. It’s been in my drafts for years and I’m spring cleaning. Here’s me uncensored and with no direction.

Let’s get this out of the way. So if you haven’t read The Raven Cycle Series by Maggie Stiefvater, this is the part where I tell you to put aside all your misgivings and just read it. That is, if you’re like me and the summary didn’t do it for you. If you’re like me and thought that it’s going to be four books about Blue and her harem of boys crying about the fact that she can’t kiss any of them. Let me tell you, you’re wrong. You’re so far from right, you’re in a different galaxy. The summary does the books zero justice. I tried to summarize it better to my roommate and I couldn’t. These books are books you just have to read.

That aside, the rest is below the cut because it’s basically me ranting about anything and everything from the series because I have a lot of feelings.

Spoilers Below

Individual Books - Romance - Characters - Miscellaneous 

The Raven Boys

This book here was basically me asking myself why I didn't read the series sooner. Like the prologue was eh, but the moment Blue implied that she was an amp, I was in. I love shit like that. And then there was chapter two with Gansey being Gansey and then finding out Adam and Ronan do dumb shit together. Yeah. Well. I was doomed. Yes yes the usual, plot was a little slow paced. I kept wondering "man, when are Gansey and Blue gonna meet?" Or "when are they gonna go King hunting?" When they finally did stuff it was great! But I think it was great because the characters are so well established. But I'll rant on that later.

Anyway, actually yeah, getting to know the characters in this book was wow. God damn it's not a fucking competition on who has the worst backstory. My heart cannot take it. I really want to read a prequel about how they all came together. I need details. Everything is so vague (like mentioned in offhand lines) (i.e. Ronan hating Adam at first or how Adam helped Gansey's car (which is pretty solid but give me more conversation)).

Speaking of vague...NOAH! God. Let me be smug for a bit. I figured out the mystery as soon as Barry mentioned being in his mid-20s.

Hints:

"I've been dead for 7 years."

Noah having a first name when everyone calls each other by their last. 

Barry's friend only having a last name.

Boom yeah. Anyway. Noah, my boy. The true mvp, but that rant will come later. "Don't throw this away.” Gosh. End me.

Again speaking of vague. I love and hate Ms. Maggie's style. I love how pretty it is.

Favorite character in this book kept switching between Gansey, Blue, and Adam. Me while reading was basically, Who’s Ronan?

The Dream Thieves

I love that Ronan’s POV was included in this. I stereotype book characters all the time. It’s natural since it helps establish a certain character without having to spell out every single detail. So yeah. I stereotyped Ronan as a punk (true) that was crude (true), rough (half true), and didn’t care about anything (not true). Getting to know Ronan more in this book killed me.

Kavinski was meh. He was a cool kid. Idk why ppl love him so much? Like he was def a cool character. Maybe I read the books too fast to really appreciate him.

Bragging again, I figured out Ronan’s mom was a dream thing from the prologue (though it wasn’t that hard? idk. Matthew was a surprise).

Adam was winning the favorite character battle but now Ronan’s a strong contestant.

Blue Lily, Lily Blue

RONAN HAS WON. HE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER. Why? The EpiPens! That sealed it. Nothing will be able to trump that. I seriously had to stop reading at that part. It was too much.

I really don’t know what happened in this book. That’s one of the things about the writing (or maybe it was just me reading things too fast) but it was kinda hard to keep track of time. Things that I though happened weeks apart happened on the same day, or things that I thought happened on the same day actually happened weeks away. So it was kinda hard to keep track of events.

TRC & Romance

Before we get to the last book, I just want to put this rant that I started about two chapters into the 4th book because I just love this series so much and I was wondering why.

So typically I’m like “Fuck Romance! Get out of my books and tv shows!” (well, unless I’m specifically looking for it…) but the romance (or relationships in general) in the raven cycle is SO. GOOD.

And here I was wondering why and why and why and I figured it out.

The thing about Romance in YA novels (I say YA because I mainly read YA), is that it feel like it’s a prize for the Main Character to achieve at the end of the book. Like, you battled a bunch of crazy zombies alongside this hot babe you met maybe a week ago, now make out and live happily ever after! Like the Love Interest is only there for the MC to end up dating in the end. Sure they can be important to the plot too but there’s always a focus on “These two will be together in the end. Period.” And I hate it. I guess it’s because I love slow burns and I find it so unrealistic because Love typically doesn’t happen like that.

Like typically, a guy or girl will not walk up to someone and say “You’re hot go out with me.” Well, not unless they want maybe a drink dumped on them. I don’t like how when the MC meets their LI, they stop knowing how to communicate with other human beings. Like haven’t they ever had a normal conversation with another human? Don’t they have friends.

And that’s where I figured it out. Gansey & Blue and Ronan & Adam, they were FRIENDS first.

Well, Adam did ask Blue out kinda…. I’ll get to that later.

But they became friends! It wasn’t all about mantic pixie dream girls/boys. Or the most popular girl/boy in school. Or some rival from an enemy territory. It was a just a bunch of kids looking for a king together.

(Adam and Blue something about including her with the boys, how when the began to know each other it doesn’t work out. and that’s normal. But they still end up friends because they do like each other. And it’s not all suddenly, we’re dating so we now have no other friends/I can no longer think rationally [cough Graceling cough]) Gansey eyeing their hand holding less because “Omg im in love with this chick” and more like “who is this girl invading our group.”

The way the small love triangle between Blue, Adam, and Gansey was so well handled. Like the friendship between Gansey and Adam didn’t suffer (too much…) because they weren’t gonna let something like that ruin it because it was strong.

And then Gansey’s all like “I gotta think of something clever to tell Blue later” and it’s so fucking dumb and sweet and that’s kinda what I do to my friends and they don’t really like like each other but it slowly grows with the night calls and the driving to nowhere and they still fight with each other and it’s all so normal and real that it hurts and I actually look forward to their interactions, not necessarily romantically, but just hanging out. Like I could read chapters of all of them just playing cards or something, doing mundane shit.

Ronan and Adam. Idk because I haven’t gotten that far but apparently in the beginning god sai- in the beginning Ronan hated Adam because Ronan loved Gansey and not really in the romantic way but in the we are friends and I will now DIE FOR YOU, type of love and he was fucking jealous. But now they’re cool and they go do random shit together (like framing a crazy dude). And it’s not all, I like you and now you will magically start liking me back. There was build up to this, like Ronan going back for Adam from his dad, and Ronan paying for Adam’s rent secretly, like Adam actually saying thank you.

Even Blue and Ronan. Like how he doesn’t even think about saving her from falling down a hole. How he cries on here shoulder because he can do it and not be judged. Because they are friends. Even if they do not interact often.

And then there’s Maura and the Gray Man. idk where this one is going.

tl;dr: The complex relationships and romance between the characters in the Raven Cycle are hella good.

The Raven King

Oh my god. I am dead. My soul has been carved from my body. Gansey. My boy. Fucking Noah. God damn.

Let me just say that Adam’s analogy(? metaphor?) of the summer storm and the kiss was so fucking good. I will remember that forever. Like that is probs my favorite passage from the book.

Ronan is so sweet and pure and needs lots of love.

Writing in General

Weird how it skips around. Like there’s a little view in the scene and then suddenly it jumps to a vague conclusion. I like knowing what happens between. I like the clean up shit. But then again if it happened the pacing of the book would have been very weird.

Characters

Gansey: it’s like watching someone slowly learn negative emotions. He started out all innocent and full of ideals and happiness, he just wanted to find his King, and then he learns fear and anger and worry and death. Real life. He’s definitely very grounding. How he steps back occasionally and thinks ��God this is so fucked up. This is not okay. I want everybody to be safe.”

Ronan: God. Ronan. This boy. I like how you don’t really think of him as I guess nice. But he’s probably the most human of all. Like his outward appearance is some tough boy who’ll fuck you up, but he’s actually really soft? His words are crude but his actions are caring.

Adam: 😫

Blue: I love her. She’s so fierce and strong and human. How she just rolls with it. Kinda.

[reelgalsofglasgow-blog]

The Golden Gals: The Reel Gals Academy Awards

The time has come. The envelopes have been sealed (with the right cards in each - we hope). We’ve been sewn into our best outfits. In lieu of an exuberant opening musical number featuring the ubiquitous James Corden, please enjoy a short clip of the best Oscars moment ever:

Honestly, if this year’s ceremony doesn’t open with just those fourteen seconds on a loop for a solid seven minutes, we’ll be sorely disappointed.

...

We know that all you’ll be thinking about now is that clip and basking in how gloriously weird it is… so maybe take a few minutes, watch that clip another eight or so times just to be sure; grab yourself a cuppa and settle in - because it’s time to announce our own Reel Gals Academy Award winners! The ‘Osc-hers’, if you will.

Ask any professional in TV - and they’ll tell you that the best entertainment always starts not with an idea or any spark of passion… but with a spreadsheet. Spreadsheets are the equivalent of Amino Acid for British TV programmes. Boring, but true. So we put together a spreadsheet listing each category and, depending on how many nominees, numbered them 1-5 (or 1-8 in Best Picture’s case) where 5 = favourite nominee. Then the magic spreadsheet worked out the average for us because damn, we’re not NASA.

With all our votes cast (unfortunately four of the categories had to drop as we just couldn’t get viewing copies in time - sorry Documentaries, Short Docs, Live Action Shorts and Foreign Language films!) our WhatsApp group chock full of planning for hectic last-minute trips to the cinema, trailer breakdowns, Spotify playlists, Adam Driver spam [Sorrrrry ~ Jen] and late night Netflix binges - we’re ready to present our own personal winners of each category - JUST in time for the ceremony itself.

Will we be as off-the-mark as the Academy not putting Emily Blunt up for a Lead Actress nomination for her stellar work in A Quiet Place? Or will it turn out that we are actually a collective of omniscient New Age Mystics, ordained by the gods of Hollywood themselves - imparting our sage wisdom and knowledge of the Future? Who can tell? Not us. (Or can we??)

So, get Red Carpet ready and join us for our 2019 Oscars picks and their close-fought runners-up, as voted for by us!

LEAD ACTOR

1. Christian Bale - Not gonna lie, it’s difficult to completely lavish Bale with praise considering that a major part of the prep in his transformation into the illusive Dick Cheney was “eating a LOT of pies”. If I was paid on the premise of my pie eating abilities, I’m pretty sure I would be up for an award too, just sayin’. Anyway, he does a pretty good damn job of depicting someone that no one really knows a great deal about in the first place, especially viewers outside the UK (I had to google him twice).  His flair for delivering an all consuming, intense and seminal performance is as apparent as ever despite the layers of latex and make up to contend with. Particularly during the heart attack scene in which I found myself worryingly questioning how much red meat and cream I’d had in the last month. It worth saying that his performance owes a great deal to the aforementioned hair and makeup team, whose work is nothing short of astonishing.  It’s literally the only Christian Bale film in which I’ve never been attracted to Christian Bale, for real.  Considering that his last Oscar win was in 2011 for The Fighter, another dramatic, transformative role then he might be in with a chance. The voters have shown time and time again that they award convincing portrayals of famous figures so I reckon It’s a toss up between Malek and Bale this year, although with utmost respect to Malek, I hope it’s the latter. [~Marie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Viggo Mortensen 

3. Rami Malek

LEAD ACTRESS

1. Olivia Colman - So, I always hear “Olivia Colman can do no wrong” and I have to admit that The Favourite is absolutely no exception. I first stumbled across her while heavily invested in Peep Show during my late teens, but it was really in Broadchurch that I fell in love with her as an actor (and while watching her acceptance speech for her recent BAFTA win, I fell in love with her as a person). I know that us Reel Gals were definitely a little divided regarding The Favourite as an overall film, but I don’t think any of us will have any major qualms if she picks up the Oscar this weekend. Her performance and portrayal of Queen Anne more than deserve it, and I stumbled around looking for the perfect phrase to express this embodiment, and her ability to make us empathize with this rather “brutish” historical figure. In the end what sums it up is Colman’s lack of fear to exhibit ‘grotesque charm’ balanced with her open vulnerability in the role of Queen Anne that (along with the other female-lead performances) kept the film afloat for me. [~ Kayleigh]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Yalitza Aparicio

3. Lady Gaga

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

1. Mahershala Ali - Ali, to me is one of those faces (handsome faces) that, when you see, you can't quite put your finger on and when you IMDb search him you find yourself saying “Oh yeah, that's what he's in”, and to me that includes the fact that I forget about his Academy Award winning performance in Moonlight.  After Green Book I don't think I'll be forgetting him again and us Gals believe he should be receiving his second Oscar tonight to join his BAFTA and Golden Globe for the performance.  His portrayal of Classical and Jazz pianist Dr Don Shirley is the perfect accompaniment and antithesis to the uncouth Tony Lip portrayed by Viggo Mortensen.  I don't know enough about Dr Don Shirley to say that Mahershala embodies him, but I don't think that matters as much as the feeling watching his performance gives the viewer.  You can feel his frustration with Tony during their road trip, you can feel his loneliness in the hotels at night, you can feel his passion for music and playing the piano, you can feel his anger at how he is treated by the ignorant white southerners purely based on the colour of his skin and you can feel his love in the tear inducing final scene.  Any performance that can make me empathise with the emotions of an American male, mid-30s, black, upper-class, talented performer trying to overcome racism and ignorance in the American Deep South in the 60s (and if you hadn't guessed I fit none of those categories), is a powerful performance indeed.  Good luck Mahershala!   [~Robyn]

JOINT RUNNERS UP:

2. Richard E Grant / Adam Driver

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

1. Regina King - This may well have been the easiest category for me to vote on. (Even though I actually felt that this year showcased a whole lot of strongly-delivered performances, by so many talented women.) Regina King - wow - what a badass lady right there. I thought that the acting from all parties in If Beale Street Could Talk was so incredibly sincere, but especially that of King's. Together with the colour palette, soundtrack and cinematography, I was honestly so moved by the whole film (and am *entirely gutted* that it's been overshadowed by its competitors). I have only one complaint about IBSCT and that is that Regina King should have got more screen time. Everything I've seen King in I've loved and I have to admit that I was just happy to see this nomination, let alone think that her performance in IBSCT was flawless and even although she has some tough competition, that she fully deserves to win the Oscar. If Beale Street Could Talk represents love, passion, strength and power, whilst addressing themes such as race and equality - everything this film stands for, Regina King embodies in herself as a person and channels in her character, Sharon Rivers. It was refreshing to watch King and just believe her, believe in her character and believe in her as woman and a mother. You will forever be one of my heroes Regina, thank-you for sharing your talent. [~Katie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Rachel Weisz

3. Emma Stone

BEST DIRECTOR

1. Spike Lee - I’m almost pained to admit that my first experience of a Spike Lee film only came about during my 3rd year of studying film at uni (for shame).  The module was ‘The Importance of Soundtrack’ and in particular, the inclusion of pop, hip-hop & R&B music to accentuate social commentary and help establish mood, setting and underlying tension that any director worth their salt can’t express through dialogue alone.  I remember leaving the tiny Gilmore cinema on a Tuesday afternoon having watched Do the Right Thing and feeling unusually energised, awake and slightly angry -  but in a good way. Cut to roughly 7 years later, I’m leaving Cineworld, on my 29th birthday, no less,  after a screening of BlacKkKlansman, still vibrating with anger and frustration 5 minutes after the film ended. It’s the most powerful last 10 minutes of a film, but it’s not Spike Lee’s best. Nor do I think it’s the best film of the year (although I’m possibly in the minority of my Reel Gals peers in saying that). However, in light of a barrage of recent injustices in the US  - social and political -  it cannot be considered anything less than a vital and timely film which (despite its shortcomings) deserves all the Oscar attention it gets. Lee is a complete master in his unique ability to inject comedy and style into a hard-hitting subject matter such as blind, racial hatred. Since next year will mark the 30th year since Lee’s first infamous Oscar snub, I feel like it’s only right that the academy should Do the Right Thing (heh, you see what I did there..?) and honour him for managing to stay angry (or #woke, if you prefer) and keeping us angry - in a good way. [~Marie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Alfonso Cuarón

3. Yorgos Lanthimos

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

1. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - If you were to pause this film on any frame, you could print it and hang it on your wall. Every single frame is a work of art. The Best Animated Feature category was extremely strong this year with the usual gorgeous Pixar and Disney outings that ordinarily would have snatched the title as they have done in previous years. Such is the power and unique brilliance of this film to take on the two Animation behemoths at their best and come out on top. Boasting twice the normal number of animators (177!!) to bring to life Phil Lord and Christopher Miller’s vision for Miles Morales’ colourful and diverse world, it utilises a glorious twist of new and old forms of animation as well as ideas from print - halftones, hatching and overprinting as well as inserting comic cells and onomatopoeic graphics (“THWIP!” and “BAGEL!” are particular favourites). Not only have we mixtures of frame-rates for characters within the same frame (Whaaaaat?!) to denote Miles’ initial clumsiness versus the other Spider-People’s practised grace; but we’re treated to mixtures of graphic styles with Manga, Noir and classic American cartoon for each of the Multi-Verse Spiders - which shouldn’t work, but does here so, SO well. It’s easy to understand how 10 seconds of final cut content took an entire year for 177 people to create. Lovely little touches like characters stepping into Noir’s space being affected by his immediate ‘windy’ environment and the hand-drawn overlays and inserted comic style frames make this the most exciting, innovative and beautiful-looking animated film not only of 2018 but we believe also of the last decade. It is a true cinematic experience and one that not only deserves the Oscar, but also deserves recognition for changing the landscape of what’s possible for film animation. Also, not going to lie - a lot of us came out of the film inexplicably attracted to Peter B Parker and wish he was real. We would buy that man as many bagels as he wants, for sure. [~Jen]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Isle of Dogs

3. Ralph Breaks the Internet

BEST ANIMATED SHORT

1. Bao - Pixar shorts. They are great. One of the Reel gooduns is, Bao. It’s kinda silly, it’s a bit weird, but ultimately it does what Pixar does best. It taps into very touching, emotional aspects of the human condition. Bao is a 2018 computer-animated short film written and directed by Domee Shi and produced by Pixar Animation Studios. It was released with Incredibles 2 on June 15, 2018. It’s the shortest film of the shorts-lineup. Focusing on a middle aged mother is a wonderful perspective to choose. The film is about an ageing Chinese-Canadian mother, suffering from empty nest syndrome. She receives a rather unusual second chance at motherhood when she makes a baozi dumpling that comes to life as a boy. The film takes you by surprise at several points, after being lulled into a place of “OK, maybe this human baozi is something I can get on board with”, but it ends on a beautiful note. So, as Danny Devito once put it: “I like it, I love it, I want more of it”. [~ Caroline]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Late Afternoon

3. One Small Step

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

1. BlacKkKlansman - Last year Get Out won the award for best original screenplay for its haunting, hilarious, terrifying, and almost ridiculously scary tale. Some thought this tale of fiction was too simple in its over-the-topness, but the message it wanted to pass was far from it. This year, the equally unbelievable and extremely important story of racism and bigotry comes in an adapted script form based on the true reports of police officer and KKK infiltrator Ron Stallworth. Released as a memoir in 2014 by Stallworth, screenwriters David Rabinowitz and Charlie Wachtel were shocked to find out that no studios even bothered buying the rights to this unbelievable tale and independently adapted the work. It’s not just a brilliant story cause of what happened. It’s not just an amazing comedy cause of the clever dialogue. Its ingenuity, lies on how contemporary this ‘period’ piece reads. From dialogue that feel as if you’re reading the latest Trump supporter’s tweets, to the unbelievable and unapologetic beliefs some have and march for even today. And in case quotes from the Grand Duke of the KKK like ‘I just want to make America great’ didn’t give the film a terrifying enough case of the ‘history is repeating itself’, the brilliant end scene sure does. Thank you for your public service, one day *hopefully* we’ll learn from past mistakes. [~ Lia]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Can You Ever Forgive Me?

3. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

1. Green Book - Well, I can genuinely say that Green Book is one of the most beautifully written and delivered films I have been blessed with watching at the cinema in a long time. Based on a true story, it invites the audience to join a world class African-American pianist and his Italian-American driver from the Bronx, on a concert tour of the Deep South in the 60′s - a difficult storyline, fraught with potential pitfalls, executed in a gentle and respectful way. Named after a legitimate travel guide that listed businesses that would accept African-American custom, Green Book confronts infuriating themes such as racism, segregation, class and sexuality – all of which are still issues today. The story encapsulates the growth of an unlikely partnership between the musician Dr Shirley (Mahershala Ali) and Tony Lip (Viggo Mortensen) – quick note to talk about how outstanding, heart-warming and believable their performances were – as with time, the begin to respect, understand and care for each other. [Obviously there are questions about why Green Book would frame a story about racism in the Deep South around a white man’s experience - and have the man of colour take a back seat. Literally. My takeaway from the film was mostly that people aren’t defined by their class as much as they aren’t by their colour - just because Dr Shirley is black does not mean he ought to fall into tired old stereotypes - just because Tony is poor (by comparison) and working class, doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy the ‘perceived spoils of the upper classes’ - classical music or any of the rest of it. Dr Shirley expands Tony’s experience and understanding with regards race - while Tony expands Dr Shirley’s in class. In a post-Brexit and Trump world, where working class people are feeling increasingly marginalised and are partaking in scapegoating of people of colour as a result, perhaps Green Book (however problematic it may still be) presents a message that might get through to those people in today’s political climate? But of course, all of this is my opinion as a lower middle-class white lassie from the UK. ~Jen] 

As such, Peter Farrelly, Brian Currie and Nick Vallelonga (notably Tony Lip’s son) presents us with a rather Hollywood (in other words: soft) version of this story, resulting in a mixed response for this film (not from us down at Reel Gals HQ, we loved it), however, he tries to carefully balance out the hard-hitting, dark scenarios that our duo face on the road with the cleverly written dialogue and characterisation running into some really special, incredibly warm moments of character-driven humour.  

All in all, I would say Green Book is a cinematically stunning piece of work as well as a story of growth and respect; a feel good film that deserves the Oscar (I'm going to give Roma a quick S/O, as I do believe that it it too would be a worthy winner). I can also say that Farrelly really surprised me after some of the (in my opinion) trash that he’s previously had his name on (Dumb and Dumber, I’m looking at you). You will leave the film feeling warm, with faith in cinema and the inability to stop thinking about how much you want to fold up an entire pizza and eat it like a sandwich – I know I did. [~ Katie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Roma

3. Vice

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

1. Roma -  Rumour has it that the revolution will not be televised, and up until recently, the category for Cinematography was almost relegated to the ad-breaks. Why John Bailey, why? Thankfully, after a public ballyhoo, we will be able to see the award presented via live stream (as well as Editing, Live-Action Short, and Makeup and Hairstyling). So why is Cinematography so vital to us?

 Let’s go back forty-eight years for a moment. Director, Norman Jewison once talked about how he created the warm, earthy haze of Fiddler on the Roof (1971) with the director of photography, Oswald Morris. They lined a lens with a pair of brown nylons seen on a woman on set (hello, 1970’s Hollywood!). Though Jewison shrugged this story off as a lucky spur-of-the-moment decision, it was made and carried out to stunning effect. Watch it and see. Almost half-a century later, and cinematography has continued to thrive in ingenuity and style.

 The Reel Gals have come together to appreciate Alfonso Cuarón’s, cinematographic mastery in Roma. Originally, Emmanuel Lubezki was set to take on this task, but there was an availability clash. Cuarón took over as well as writing the screenplay and directing the film. Lubezki remained an influence to Cuarón who said in an interview with Variety that Lubezki’s voice was in the back of his mind as he worked.

Roma is a semi-autobiographical take on Cuarón's upbringing in the Colonia Roma neighbourhood of Mexico City. Cuarón said of his stylistic choices:

 “I would say it’s the ghost of the present that is visiting the past, without getting involved, just observing, not trying to make a judgment or commentary.”

 With this in mind, I can see why he shot it in black and white. Actually, he shot it in colour with the Alexa 65, then paired it back to black-and-white, like a photo-realistic painter. The effect of this is that the film is crisp, and each scene seems almost 3D. When you take the colour away, other senses become heightened. The sounds in Roma, for example, are so much more present. The less you see, the more you fill in with your mind. Strangely, things seem more vivid in black and white.

 I recommend this article as it gives much more information about the visual decisions which were made. All I can say at this point is that as viewers, we intuitively respond to what has been crafted for us, and this craft should be celebrated. Alfonso Cuarón has given us an incredible film which (like Fidder) will be talked about by new generations of Reel Gals in another fifty years.  [~ Caroline]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Never Look Away

3. A Star is Born / The Favourite

BEST FILM EDITING

1.Vice - Of all of the films shortlisted for the Oscars, one has stood out as being one with as many ideas laid out in the edit as it was in the writing and shooting of the piece. Hank Corwin makes use of syncopation like the greatest of musicians - very frequently going places creatively you would never expect… cuts to black; use of archive; the visuals quite often were at odds with the sound, but in the best possible ways. It is frantic, meta, fourth-wall busting, juxtaposition-filled mania with a persistent overarching feeling of extreme unease and increasing dread - perfectly fitting for Cheney’s journey into Power.[~ Jen]

RUNNERS UP:

2. BlacKkKlansman

3. Bohemian Rhapsody

BEST SOUND MIXING

1. Bohemian Rhapsody - So quickly, for those of you (like myself before casting my votes) who didn't know the difference between Sound Editing and Sound Mixing, Sound Editing is the creation and use of sound effects, Sound Mixing is the overall use of soundtrack including music, dialogue, sound effects, the whole shebang really.  Overall, although I thoroughly enjoyed Bohemian Rhapsody, I'm not sure I agree with the amount of award attention this movie is getting.  Maybe being a big Queen fan the movie left me feeling like it was mostly a celebration of them as a band and lacked any profound revelation.  However what can be truly marvelled at in this movie is the recreation of Freddie Mercury's performances; credit where it's due, Rami Malek did a great job of becoming him on screen; but the reproduction of that incredible voice and Queen’s Greatest Hits is what really makes the film what I would call “The Queen Experience”.  After seeing the movie and rediscovering an old love by listening to the soundtrack on repeat I noticed that it included live tracks and demos, and doing a bit of digging I discovered that for the concert scenes they used the real live sound from the concerts being recreated, in fact these sequences were chosen around the choice of recording (although don't quote me on that, my sources are from the internet, could be fake news).  Also, to make the Freddie Mercury voice perfect some of the recordings were mixed with Canadian Christian Rock artist Marc Martel whose voice is so similar you can barely tell the difference.  All of this attention to detail along with the cinematic surround sound effects means that for millennials like us, unfortunately too young to have seen Freddie perform live ourselves, can feel like we were actually at Live Aid (sorry Adam Lambert, you don't quite cut it).  That sounds award worthy to me. [~Robyn]

RUNNERS UP:

2. A Star is Born

3. First Man

BEST SOUND EDITING

1. First Man - As I mentioned above, for those of you who don't know, the Sound Editing category celebrates the creation and use of Sound Effects.  There are certain members of the Reel Gals that would disagree with me on my analysis of First Man - I found it boring and too long and to be 90% Ryan Gosling not really acting and mostly just being mopey (and this is coming from someone who loves Ry-Go as much as the next girl).  However I can appreciate that creating the illusion of space travel relies heavily on sound effects, on this I cannot fault the film.  Any scene that features people in the cockpit of a space rocket or bouncing about the face of the moon (spoiler - Neil Armstrong is the “first man” to take one small step for man and one… blah blah blah you know the rest), is beautifully soundtracked with what I imagine since I have never been to the moon, realistic sound effects. [Like Pavlov’s Dog - if I ever hear that intense rattling from this version of the cockpit of Apollo 11 again, I will take a serious whitey. ~Jen]  There are no dodgy Wilhelm Screams during the upsetting cockpit fire scene or Star Trek-like door “wooshes” here.  Now maybe if these types of sounds had been included I would have been more entertained, but the sound effects were so realistic and in the moon landing scene almost beautiful.  So well done to the sound team for keeping me too firmly in reality with this film. [~Robyn]

RUNNERS UP:

2. A Quiet Place

3. Bohemian Rhapsody

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

1. Mary Poppins Returns - I thought it was impossible to make a new Mary Poppins film and that attempting to remake a classic was just Hollywood proving it had run out of ideas but in the case of Mary Poppins Returns’ production designer John Myhre strikes a fine balance of appealing to the old eyes who watched the original and the fresh new ones experiencing this story for the first time. If you’re the one wearing the nostalgia glasses then each and every set in this film will make you feel like the kid you were all those years ago - from the cobbled streets of the reimagined 1930s London to the whimsical wonder that is the upside down house. This is where Myhre’s talent shines as he pays homage to the old while never quite replicating it. The house of 17 Cherry Tree Lane still looks and feels as if it has been lifted from Emile Kuri’s original designs but feels reimagined, the fingerprints of Michael Banks life as an adult are prevalent in every room - especially in the attic. Taking a trip up there feels like throwing yourself back in time filled with a clutter of old easter eggs that would thrill any fan of the first film - you don’t have to look far to spot the blocks used by Julie Andrews in ‘Spoonful of Sugar’ or the sash worn by Jane’s mum and of course the most notable throwback of all - the kite. In the end, this is a real house for a real man, in real depression who has lived a very real life but then cue Mary Poppins. The drab, brown and grey colour palette across the set bursts into colour as her mere presence turns this gritty reality into a magical fantasy. The mix of fantasy and reality blends seamlessly together so much so that even the expertly recreated scenes like Big Ben’s tower have a flare of magic to them.

I hadn’t realised until the credits started to roll that somewhere along the way I had taken my nostalgia glasses off and started to view this film as its own entity. Through beautifully crafted sets that meld seamlessly into the classic stylings of the animations, meticulous in detail, it captures the spirit of its predecessor but has an identity very much of its own. So, now I am prepared to eat my earlier retort and believe in the words of Mary Poppins herself - “everything is possible, even the impossible.”  [~Isla]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Black Panther

3. The Favourite

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

1. Shallow - A Star is Born - I have to admit, I’m rather gutted that All The Stars missed out on our number one spot (thanks Gals) but Shallow undoubtedly is a bit of a banger. “Is there somethin’ else you’re searching for” - Shallow poetically (when I say poetically, I mean pretty darn obviously) offers the audience an insight to both Ali and Jackson’s character growth throughout the film: Ali, looking to get more out of her life than it was offering her and Jackson, his deterioration in light of his dying career (is that a spoiler? Surely not!). Don’t get me wrong, I loved A Star is Born and genuinely think Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper *pauses for Bradley Cooper’s voice* have an undeniable connection, the way they perform together - both in this song and the film as a whole - left me with chills (an opinion shared by fewer than half of the Reel Gals) [I may have hated the film, but that won’t stop me beltin’ this mother out at the karaoke ~ Jen] - Shallow will live on and I am sure will be leaving with Academy award, however in my opinion, it’s not particularly inspiring or lyrically imaginative. Still love you, Gaga. [~ Katie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. All The Stars - Black Panther

3. The Place Where Lost Things Go - Mary Poppins Returns

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

1. BlacKkKlansman by Terence Blanchard - BlacKkKlansman marks the 19th project and 30th year of a Spike Lee/Terence Blanchard partnership and wowzers! Blanchard has composed a score that beautifully enhances the exquisite direction of Lee, capturing a sound that really drives the audience’s emotion throughout the film. Although I found it almost impossible to choose between all the nominations for Best Score, Blanchard has stolen top spot at the Reel Gals’ Academy Awards and to be honest, rightfully so! Terence Blanchard uses “his passion and desire to serve the story” when it comes to anything he composes, which is just one of the reasons he is fully deserved of the Oscar when it comes to the BlacKkKlansman score. He pulls in influences of Hendrix with the electric guitar (which in my opinion really captures Ron Stallworth’s character as a whole) and couples it with the power of brass, a combination that successfully delivers both chilling and comedic moments – alluding to what the audience should be feeling, rather than being on the nose. Terence Blanchard had the responsibility of composing for an unbelievable and haunting TRUE story and respectfully does so, joining Spike Lee in telling the a story of hate from the 70s and leaving the audience with the hard-hitting truths that we still deal with similar hate, even now. [~ Katie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Mary Poppins Returns by Marc Shaiman & Scott Wittman

3. Black Panther by Ludwig Goransson

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIR

1. Vice - Makeup and hair are such a crucial part of building the characters we see on screen - they help the actors embody the person they’re playing (literally!). The outcry when the Academy dared to suggest that they might bump this and other critical categories (Cinematography and Editing to name a couple for gawd’s sake - HOW DO YOU MAKE A FILM WITHOUT THOSE??!) to being hidden in the ad breaks was so vehement - and rightly so. I don’t know how many times I walked past the poster and ad screens for Vice and had next to no recognition at all for any of the main cast. When I eventually read the names under the pictures, I remember very loudly going “WHAT?! WHAAAAAAT?! all the way down the escalator in our local Cineworld (my partner can attest to his embarrassment at my outburst)… Steve Carell, Sam Rockwell, Amy Adams… and then we have Christian “So Method” Bale. 

Some people might argue that his transformation was mostly down to, as Marie suggests in our Lead Actor category, his increased pie intake and his unmatched ability to give himself over completely to the character.  But without the design and hard work every day of Greg Cannom, Kate Biscoe and Patricia Dehaney, he would have just been “Thicc, Evil Christian Bale” - not an almost-indistinguishable-from-the-real-thing embodiment of political monster Dick Cheney. 

There is an absolutely excellent article I found in which Cannom talks website Vox through his design and daily process and it’s frankly incredible. < find it here >  More incredible still, once he had a cast of Bale’s head (whom he says was wary of the process of SFX makeup and prosthetics as he hadn’t done it before) he only had two weeks to design and build the various ages of Cheney onto Bale’s very differently-shaped head. The quality of the skin (given a sweaty shine by an application of KY Jelly as a final step to the process, hilariously) is impeccable; the build of the silicone to completely change the shape of Bale’s face is grotesquely gorgeous. Across the board this is one of the most impressive examples of practical makeup and hair SFX I’ve ever seen - and in an age of CGId top lips to remove stubborn moustaches and digital de-ageing processes getting more and more advanced, this film proves the practical way is as strong and vital as ever and fully deserving of taking centre stage - on air - at the Oscars. [~Jen]

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

1. Black Panther - I couldn’t possibly pretend to be an expert on costume design or on the numerous African Tribal influences that have given these costumes their heart and soul. But, I can say that while watching Black Panther I was utterly blown away with the attention to detail, combined with the bold bursts of colour and creativity. I also can’t explain my sheer relief and empowerment of watching fierce female characters kick ass without the carbon copy, over sexualized outfit with matching heels. Now I don’t want my first blog post to cause too much of a divide, but I’m definitely referring to my eye roll during Wonder Woman right after I spotted those raised golden beauties... and just for the record, I actually loved Wonder Woman (and I love heels) but it was just so refreshing, and practical, without losing any of the superhero escapism we all long for.  The head costume designer Ruth E. Carter absolutely fulfilled all my ‘tribal-warrior-female-fantasy’ dreams (is that a category from RuPaul’s Drag Race?) and I left the cinema envious of her talent. Some of the costumes were literally pieces of wearable art and will no doubt be celebrated as such. [~ Kayleigh]

JOINT RUNNERS UP:

2. The Favourite / Mary Poppins Returns

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

1. Ready Player One - This was one of the most difficult categories to vote for. All five films brought amazing innovations in the art of cinema and definitely deserve to be recognised for them and you know what, Reel Gals will! First Man combined a mixture of diverse sources for its aesthetic; visual effects, special effects, and even archival footage of the NASA launch. Solo gave us the perfect visual effect adaptation of the legend that Star Wars fans everywhere know as the 12 parsecs run. Christopher Robin created a photoreality mixed with shot on location footage so good, that its parody Trainspotting mashup video attests to its VFX perfection. Avengers: Infinity War had two different effects teams (TWO!) building the most realistic performance from Brolin’s onset one and could possibly land Marvel with their first ever effects Oscar. However, Ready Player One, created an entire virtual world that immersed characters and viewers alike by combining effects with animation. Remember The Overlook Hotel part from The Shining in the film? The blood? The scary twins and old lady turned into a zombie? That’s right, hand them that award now and then in true Mean Girls fashion, break it up and share with the rest. You’re all VFX queens. [~Lia]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Avengers: Infinity War

3. First Man

Which leaves us with just one more award to lay out… it’s the big’un. Can you guess what it might be, from our voting habits above?

BEST PICTURE

1. BlacKkKlansman - Winning our Best Picture vote - based on a true story, BlacKkKlansman is a spectacularly timely look at institutional and societal racism and bigotry - holding a mirror up squarely in the face of modern audiences. Set against the backdrop of the Ku Klux Klan’s ‘organised hate’ in 1970’s Colorado, it is equal parts horrifying and hilarious; poignant and relevant. The performances are compelling and perfectly balanced - most notably, the relationship between buddy cops John David Washington’s ‘Ron Stallworth’ and Adam Driver’s ‘Flip Zimmerman’ is nuanced and brimming with mutual respect, both for one another in character and as actors. The two have spectacular comic timing - but they both also boast the finely-honed acting chops to carry the Singularity-strength gravity of the themes presented by Ron Stallworth’s incredible true story. The beautifully-composed shots and off-kilter score compliment Spike Lee’s characteristically brave and politically-biting choices as director, exemplified particularly in the closing scene of his latest Joint, which (after a moment of levity and possibly the biggest laugh of the film) is affecting, desperately sad and deeply terrifying - and will stay with you for a long time.     [~ Jen]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Green Book

3. Roma

And that’s that. The audience’s sugar levels are low… The ‘get off the stage’ music has started playing… and the awards organisers are threatening to cut to an ad break. But before they can send the heavies onto the stage to forcibly remove us - it’s NOT OVER YET - *grabs microphone*  here are some nominations we would have added:

BEST PICTURE: First Man [Genuinely thought this was a shoe-in! ~Jen]

BEST SONG: Sunflower by Post Malone & Swae Lee for Spider-Verse [Honestly, the entire score for Spider-Verse was spectacular and I'm gutted it didn't get a nomination either, although it was tough enough as it is for best original score, as all nominations are stunning - BUT BEST SONG, where is this nomination? And WHY, GOD WHHHY is ‘I'll Fight’ on there? It genuinely made me want to pull out my eyeballs ~ Katie] [Couldn’t agree more. Ruth Bader Ginsberg deserves more than this old-fashioned early 2000s-style credit-roller ballad. You’re better than this, J-Hud. ~ Jen]

LEAD ACTRESS: Emily Blunt for A Quiet Place

LEAD ACTRESS: Viola Davis for Widows 

LEAD ACTOR: John David Washington for BlacKkKlansman [This omission I think has slightly tarnished Driver’s well-deserved nomination for Best Supporting; with a lot of people asking why the ‘white guy is the only one to receive an acting nom from a film about a black man’s struggles with the KKK’. I would suggest that Driver’s character Flip, as DJW’s character Ron states: “Also has skin in the game”, being Jewish - it’s hardly him doing a ‘Scarlet Johansson’, given the point of the story is that he’s Ron’s proxy and crucial to his takedown of the chapter. But then it *is* difficult to argue that the intentions of the Academy were (whether subconsciously or not) entirely well-intentioned on the matter of not including Washington in the nominations. ~ Jen]

LEAD ACTOR: Steve Carell for Beautiful Boy

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Steve Carell (again - what a year he’s had!) for Vice

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Timotheé Chalamet for Beautiful Boy

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Danai Gurira for Black Panther

VISUAL EFFECTS: Welcome to Marwen [This!! ~ Kayleigh]

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: Whitney [I would also say the editing of this was fantastic, if it's good enough for the Edinburgh Film Festival then it’s good enough for an Oscar consideration ~Robyn]  

And despite the outwardly more-diverse-than-usual (which still isn’t saying much) nominee list this year thanks to an extremely influential #OscarsSoWhite campaign and hopefully the beginnings of a turning of the tide for Hollywood (we hope - it's about bloody time something improved) - it seems the Academy aren’t quite there with equality and representation yet...

BEST DIRECTOR: A woman. Any women, for goodness’ sake. It’s 2019! A nod to Glasgow-born Lynne Ramsay for You Were Never Really Here, Marielle Heller for Can You Ever Forgive Me? and Debra Granik for Leave No Trace. Just in case the Academy didn’t think they had enough choice! [~Marie]

At time of writing, the other main awards events for the year have been and gone - and the differences in nominations and winners laid out by the Oscars, BAFTAs, Globes and Critics’ Choice nominees lists vs the reality of women’s film work in 2018 are still quite stark - specifically in contrast with events like the Independent Spirit Awards - (admittedly films like Green Book and blockbusters etc wouldn’t qualify) - who lavished their awards last night on films like If Beale Street Could Talk; You Were Never Really Here, Leave No Trace and Sorry to Bother You - notably with many of the winners crying out for more female representation in the nominations for Directing and other categories in film in general.

2018 was the strongest year for representation of women in film yet - with places like the BFI Film Festival presenting more female-led films than ever before in its history and how vociferous the support is getting for equal opportunity and recognition - importantly not only from women - in calling out these omissions-by-gender, here’s hoping the Academy will catch on. Eventually.

But until that time… thanks for joining us for our little pre-Oscars ceremony and our first proper blog! Cheers for reading, sharing and any hits of the like button are greatly appreciated… Thank you to the Academy… we’d also like to thank our parents, everyone who believed in us, Adele Dazeem, dogs (all of them) for being excellent...

*Rugby-tackled by security guards and dragged off-stage*

Xx ~ The Reel Gals

(Find us on instagram: reel_gals_of_glasgow | twitter: ReelGalsGlasgow)

[rain0205-blog]

Terminal State

Summary:  She tried leaving, submerging herself in work to escape the horrors she had seen. The horrors she kept seeing. She never wanted to go back to that life. But when the Empire takes her home, she’s forced to face her past. Can she move on? Can she cope? Or will she require a bit of help? still bad at summaries, still working on it. ever so slightly more than slight AU gadioxoc

Gathering Intel

...

The wind blew in their hair as they drove down the streets of Duscae on their way toward Lestallum. Gladiolus was in a bitter mood but he kept it internal. Cindy was able to find the Regalia and he was right in assuming the Empire had taken it. The location: Aracheole Stronghold. The base was big and he was a little upset that the Imperials had started to make themselves at home, however, Ignis had managed to keep them out of trouble until they actually found the car, having them cloaked in the night and using Noctis's warp strike ability to kill any MagiTek troopers that would get in the way. They were very fortunate to have those skills on their side.

Once they had cleared the troopers and found the car they were caught. They were able to wipe out their enemies and then went after the power source. It was a tough battle, almost a losing one, but Noctis's new skill with summoning astrals managed to turn the tide. Gladiolus was there to feel the presence of Titan when he awoke and was trying to attack them. Now he saw as the Fulgarian unleashed his wrath upon their enemies. He was bigger than anything Gladio had ever seen, bald with a flowing white beard and a staff, wiping out the Niflheim forces without even breaking a sweat. As they came to the car they were met with none other than the High Commander, Ravus Nox Fleuret. Lunafreya's brother had a serious grudge against Noctis, something consuming him about the past. Ravus was easily able to deflect Gladiolus, and ever since they had left the scene - again thanks to the Chancellor - the Shield was silently brooding to himself about his failure. Ravus seemed to have some sort of mechanical arm and Gladio's abdomen still hurt from where he was struck. He couldn't believe he was so easily tossed aside like he was nothing but a fly.

A weak shield protects naught.

Ravus's voice taunted his mind. Frowning, he was toying with Athenacia's necklace around his wrist. Just another reminder of his failures. What sort of Shield was he if he couldn't even stand up to a punk like Ravus? To be so easily pushed away by one man? Gladio always feared he wasn't strong enough he, just never knew that it was actually true. All of this, he kept to himself, wouldn't trouble the others with something they couldn't understand, nor they could help with. So he kept his eyes distant on the scenery, deciding that he should check on Iris in Lestallum. The others were quick to agree that stopping in the city and seeing familiar faces was the best course of action. As they arrived in the parking spot the sun was beginning to set. Seemed like perfect timing, they could get some rest in the hotel for the night. No one else appeared to be too defeated so Gladiolus pushed his thoughts from his mind, tucking in the tree disc and following them towards the hotel. Iris was standing the lobby and she looked completely distraught. Something had happened to her and he immediately felt defensive.

"Oh Gladdy," she was near tears.

"What's wrong?" he was concerned.

"I let you down, I never made it to Caem," her tears fell down her cheeks, "The Empire came while you were gone."

"Gladio!" someone frantically shoved passed Prompto and towards him.

"Gin?" Gladiolus regarded the pregnant nurse curiously, looking between her and his sister.

"They took her Gladio, they have Cia!" said Gin in a panicked tone.

"What?!"

That only caused Iris to cry more. Gladio felt like he was struck another devastating blow by Ravus. Athenacia was alive... She was here in Lestallum... and now in the hands of the Emperor. What was going on here?

"Perhaps we should continue this conversation away from any possible unwanted company," suggested Ignis.

Gladiolus nodded, letting Iris lead the way up the stairs and toward her hotel room. Once they stepped inside he hovered over his sister who was sitting in a chair. The girl had done nothing but cry for who knew how long, making guilt ear away at him. He looked over at Gin, who was carefully seated on the bed with a hand on her swollen womb, moving awkwardly and seemed to have some back pain.

"Tell us what happened," said Ignis gently.

"They stormed us all, brought us together and started asking us where you were," began Gin.

"None of us said a word about Noct. They just showed up and then... poor Jared," said Iris

"What do you mean? What happened to Jared?" asked Gladiolus, trying to keep a lid on his own rage.

"There was nothing we could do!" cried Iris.

The tone of her voice told him everything he needed to know, confirmed when Gin was unable to face him. Gladio tightened his fists at his side, hating that once again he was powerless to stop the Empire. They heard a sound at the door, snapping his attention towards it. Talcott was in tears as he stood there, opening it slowly and that only made the Shield feel worse. Noctis walked to the young man who was wiping his tears with his arm. The Prince knelt down so that he was eye level with Talcott.

"It not right," said Noctis, "We should have been here."

"I couldn't stop them," whined Talcott.

"But I won't let the Empire get away with it. They'll pay for what they've done. I promise."

That appeared to make the boy feel better, "I believe in you, Prince Noctis," he said before fresh tears occupied his face and he walked away.

"You said they took Dr. Virum?" Ignis looked towards the pregnant nurse Gin.

"It should have been me," said Iris.

"What does that mean?" asked Gladiolus in fury.

"When they weren't getting answers about the Prince they started asking where Iris was," began Gin, "I opened up my big mouth and they were going to kill me too. But Cia stood and said she was Iris. She offered herself as a hostage in exchange for them to leave."

"So she was here all along?" asked Prompto.

"No she left after she drove us here," answered Iris.

"You said a nurse got you here?" stated the Shield, frowning.

"Gladio she looked different. She had long black hair and it was hiding her scar. But I know her face, I know it was her," supplied Gin.

"Long black hair?"

"Sounds like she was trying to hide herself," mused Ignis.

"Why would she do that?" asked Prompto.

"We cannot be certain unless we ask her."

"You have to save her, Gladdy," Iris cried more, "None of us would be here if it wasn't for her..."

"I wouldn't be here either..." said Gin sadly, "Nor would my child."

Gladiolus wore a scowl on his face. As much as he wanted to rush after her, it wasn't his decision, he had a job to do, a duty as Sworn Shield. Looking over at Noctis, who had a hard look on his face with everything he had learned tonight, they shared a small look before the Prince walked to the pregnant nurse that was having trouble sitting with her awkward size. Placing a hand on the woman's shoulder, she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

"We'll get her back," said Noctis, trying to assure the woman.

Gin nodded, "Thank you, Highness," she cried.

...

Gladiolus was on the terrace breathing in the night air, holding the necklace that was brought to him by Umbra. Thoughts raced as he stared intently at the silver chain. This entire time she was wandering around on her own. Who was she hiding from? What happened? Why hadn't she contacted anyone? Athenacia even hid her identity from Iris, knowing that she was his sister. Why? He didn't have answers, only she did. Twice now she had saved his sister, the first time by getting her to Lestallum and just now by offering herself up. Gladio was obligated to help her and he knew that even if Noctis hadn't agreed to it, he would have gone off by himself anyway. The Prince had managed to get to sleep, same with Prompto. Iris had gone to her own room with Talcott and Gin had returned to the hospital for work. Ignis was still awake but the Shield had no idea what he was up to, still toying with the necklace, fixated on it and the thought of her still being alive. They hadn't a chance to talk about their next move, it was getting late and he wasn't even sure where to start. Ignis had stepped out onto the terrace, leaning against the rail and looking out over the city. Gladiolus waited, knowing that the man was probably thinking of a way for them to move forward.

"Have you contacted the Marshal?" asked Ignis.

"Not yet," replied Gladio, not taking his eyes away from his hands.

"Perhaps he could enlighten us as to a location. He would be relieved to know the status of her well being."

Gladiolus grunted, wishing he had thought of that but he was plagued by so many things as of late, he wasn't really shocked that he didn't. Pulling out his phone, he fired off a quick message to Cor, not even sure what the Marshal could be doing at this hour but it was important. Thankfully, it didn't take long for him to call.

"Cor," said Gladiolus.

"Where is she?" asked Cor.

"On the move, the Empire has her."

"What?!"

"They came to Lestallum. They killed Jared trying to find us and they were going to take Iris. Cia offered herself as a hostage using Iris's name. I don't know where they went, no one does."

"If they think she's Iris they'll plan on using her as bait to get to you."

Gladio sighed, "Yeah, that's what I figured."

"I'll have a look around here and get back to you tomorrow morning."

He hung up the phone before Gladiolus had a chance to reply. Pocketing the phone, he gripped the necklace tighter. Ignis didn't say anything, didn't ask about the conversation, knowing that if there was something important then the Shield would have communicated it to him. Instead, he put a hand on his shoulder a moment before going back inside the room. Gladiolus went back to toying with that necklace. It seemed to calm his nerves a little as thoughts continued to race through his head. They were all negative, only uncertain scenarios concerning Athenacia and what the Empire was doing to her. The Shield knew that she wouldn't talk, especially since she was the only one here who hadn't seen them even running around. Iris said the nurse who saved them took off outside of the city, which could only mean that she was passing by and got caught up in this mess. She was protecting Iris and the others here.

A weak shield protects naught.

Gladiolus tightened a fist. He wasn't weak and he was going to prove it; he was going to find Athenacia and bring her somewhere safe. He was going to make sure that no one close to him would even run the risk of getting hurt again. He was going to protect them, and Noctis, because he wasn't weak, he just wasn't. Even if the lingering pain of the hit he sustained was still causing him to wince once in a while. Gladio wasn't going to let anything get in his way, he was going to take them all out.

...

The morning came far too slow and Gladiolus was dozing in a chair. Anxiety kept him awake, so instead he stayed silent and eventually started reading another one of Athenacia books. The Shield ate through it in no time and then began his dozing but once the light hit his eyes he was up and alert. That wasn't the story with everyone else, however. Noctis, though restless in his sleep was still out. Prompto was stirring and Ignis was just getting up. Gladio wasn't going to rush Noctis, happy that the Prince was willing to go rescue her from the grasp of their enemy. Still, he was impatiently waiting for Cor to call him. Ignis didn't speak as he prepared himself for the day. Prompto finally opened up his eyes and then started to move around. Noctis was the only one left. Still, it wasn't like they could do anything until the Marshal had contacted them.

Gladiolus decided to leave the room, going toward the stairs and out of the hotel building. While walking, he was looking for any sign of unfriendly attention, not wanting the Empire to come back and sneak up on them. Eventually, they would find out that they didn't have the real Iris Amicitia and might want to do a double take. The Shield still couldn't believe that the doctor had done that, that she was the reason his sister had made it this far in the first place. It should have been him, he should have been the one to take care of his own family. No one would blame him, doing his duty to Noctis, but that didn't help his guilt. The Shield's wandering took him into the hospital, through the emergency department and into the waiting room. There were lots of patients here still, flooding the room with the ordeal that happened, however. Gladiolus spotted Gin quickly and motioned for her to come see him. The nurse swiftly darted to him, walking with him outside where it was less crowded. That worried frown remained on her face as she held his arm in desperation for some good news. He wished that he had some for her, he truly did. It was lucky that she was here at all or he was sure that they wouldn't have known about Athenacia's presence.

"Did you find her?" asked Gin.

"Cor's looking into it," replied Gladiolus.

Gin had tears in her eyes, "You have to find her..." she whimpered.

Gladiolus put a hand on her shoulder, "I won't stop until I do."

The nurse nodded then, hugging him and awkwardly burying her face in his chest - awkward because there was a small house where her womb used to be. Gladio tried to comfort her as best as he could before she finally took a breath and composed herself, wiping her tears as she looked back at him.

"I need you to tell me every detail. You said she looks different," said Gladiolus.

"Yeah, yeah, she's got long black hair now."

'How long?"

"It was braided off to the side so it only hung at her ribs."

Gladiolus frowned. There was no way it had grown that long in this short time.. had it? No, Iris said it was long and black too and that was the day after the city had fallen. Something seemed off about all of this.

"Anything else?"

"She cut herself some crooked bangs so that they were practically hiding her face. That braid hides her scar too, it was like she was trying to be a completely different person..."

"And this is the first time you saw her?"

"Yeah. I had no idea she was in the city. I wouldn't even if I did, only because I saw her face clearly I was able to identify her before they took her."

Gladiolus nodded, "Thanks, Gin."

"If you need anything else..."

"I know."

"Bring her back safe."

"Trust me, I will."

...

Cor had spent the entire night out since Gladiolus's phone call. The Marshal was in Duscae at the time and began to travel toward Leide as soon as he had gotten off the phone. He thought he was tracking Athenacia here in the Duscae region, on his way toward Lestallum. The trail was cold but it seemed that he was on the right track. No one had seen her, she was very careful about her interactions, but someone did mention a scared looking girl with long black hair in an old beat up truck. Cor wasn't entirely sure that was her, but it was the closest lead that he could follow. The only solace he took in this was that if he couldn't find Athenacia, then no one else could - not that he would stop trying either but being unable to turn up anything made it easier for him to sleep at night.

Not tonight, however. Gladiolus had informed him that the Empire came to Lestallum and she was spotted, protecting the people there. The Empire was going to use her as bait in the hopes of having the Prince and his Shield come after her, there was no denying that. Someone would eventually catch on that she wasn't actually Iris and by that time the young girl would be safe in Caem. Then they would try to kill Athenacia and continue their search for the Prince and the others. That was the best case scenario, the alternative mean something much more catastrophic. This just meant that the countdown was on. Cor was going to find her long before they had a chance to think about it and get her to the safe house in Caem. Then he would know where she was and what she was doing, giving him some sort of peace. There was no way to protect her if he was unsure of her whereabouts and finally, that was going to change. Cor knew for sure that he saw that big giant blue dome or else Athenacia wouldn't have gone into hiding.

As he was coming up to the barrier between Duscae and Leide he noted that there were more forces flying above his head. Cor knew where they were headed, toward that base that the hunter, Dave, had told him about. That seemed to be the only logical place to take anyone after Noctis took out the stronghold in Duscae. Frowning, the Marshal sped up on his bike, hoping to make it to Hammerhead before Dave did. He needed all the help he could get scouting the area before he knew for sure that she was in there. Cor approached the garage of Hammerhead just as the sun was beginning to peek its way over the horizon. The morning air was still and quiet as the Marshal scanned the area for any familiar faces. The barking dog led him behind the garage, the animal lying at Dave's feet. The hunter was leaning against the building with his arms crossed, looking up to acknowledge the company while Cor raised a brow at him expectantly.

"Someone is there, not sure if it's her," said Dave.

"What makes you say that?" asked Cor.

"Can't see her face but she's got long hair like you said. Only its dark, not that light colour."

"Who's got her?"

"Caligo and Loqi. Didn't see anyone else official there but they were roughin' her up a bit. Reckon they didn't like anything she was sayin' to 'em."

"She does have an attitude problem," conceded Cor, "You see where they're keeping her?"

Dave shook his head, "Had to leave, the local wildlife was hungry."

Cor grunted, "Thanks," he said once before turning to leave.

"You're going to need some backup, Cor, you can't go in there alone and hope to survive. Immortal or not," said Dave matter of factly.

"I'll keep that in mind," replied the Marshal without looking back.

...

Cor ducked down from more dreadnaughts flying their way overhead. Construction on the fort not too far away was nearly complete, but this small base was the only way they could operate the territory. It seemed that there were more Niffs here than the last time he had come to check in. His eyes darted toward the guards along the perimeter, taking it all in before walking around it while keeping to the shadows. There was no visible weak spot in the daylight so he knew instantly that he was going to have to wait until the cloaking of night. As he came in a full circle he frowned. Dave was right, there were far too many of them to take on by himself. He wasn't even sure which building she was being held in, they all looked the same. The delay was also concerning, Loqi very capable of recognizing Athenacia and raising the stakes. As long as they thought she was Iris then there wasn't much to worry about. Who knew exactly what was going on in there? His eyes darkened as he saw Tummelt coming out of one of the buildings, talking to a man obscured by the sunlight. It seemed to be a short conversation, then Loqi left through the heavily guarded gate in a vehicle. One down, one to go. Cor still couldn't see that other man but he disappeared into the same building.

Shortly after, Caligo came out with two soldiers behind him. They were forcing someone roughly down the path and toward the back exit. The Marshal kept his eyes trained on them and followed at his own distance. It was the woman Dave had described and Cor caught sight of her face. Definitely Athenacia, there was no mistaking it. Her hair was long and black, wavy and being grabbed by the fistful by his enemy. Her face was hard, that same defiant glare in her hazel eyes he came to know on a regular basis while raising her. Cor scowled as he saw Caligo give her a swift backhand, looking like it could break her neck. He didn't hear the contact but he was sure it was ugly. Athenacia instantly turned her head toward him and spit blood in his face. Cor smiled at her actions before she was struck again in the abdomen and forced into the building. Good, now he knew where she was.

The Immortal continued to observe, looking at the defences they implemented around her. The lack of guard meant they didn't see her as much of a threat. Maybe they didn't know who she really was. That suited him just fine, but the path toward her was a little concerning. Cor continued to gather his intel for at least another couple of hours before he was completely satisfied. With one last circle of the perimeter, he was sure he had everything he needed. Carefully, he pulled out of the area a little way, not wanting to attract attention to himself. Once he was in some sort of cover he grabbed his phone from his pocket and unlocked the screen.

Cor stared at the screen for a few moments, frowning. The idea of involving the others made things complicated. This was something he had been trying to avoid for years and yet, now he was here. As much as he hated to admit it, he could use their help and was certain that the Shield would be inquiring about his girlfriend soon. In the end, it was just easier to call him.

"Cor," grunted Gladiolus.

He was obviously not in a great mood.

"I found her," said Cor.

"Where?"

"Meet me Longwythe Outpost, I'll fill you there."

"We're on our way."

Cor hung up the phone before they could speak more, replacing it in the pocket and let out a heavy sigh. If they were in Lestallum even Ignis would take most of the day to get where they needed to be - which was perfect for a night assault. Since there was nothing more to do here, he decided to head back and keep an eye on things. By the time he had to leave he was sure he would have a way in and out with minimal issues, but he was also ready to take out every single last one of them if need be. He was not going to fail Athenacia anymore than he already had.

[youforeverwithme]

Dog Great Pumpkin Believer Blood Moon T Shirt

The toilet is one can see how via matches upand then also gets a Dog Great Pumpkin Believer Blood Moon T Shirt new upgrade of the original spider woman in this is a different costume this is a classic caution were this is one of the more contemporary looks which that might bother some people but she’s not fair to Carol that much aboutand like the question classic in a great costume this is kind of a trendy costume I see this lesson is already moved on from a Chillingworth approach a year or so but I call it the look of it so I don’t mind that’s my my 6 inch version of herand then also for Julia Carpenter spinal manipulation version of her this month much nicer the colors are much better so you think all of these characters here I have some nice new upgrades of okay so let’s move on some spider villains so here you see of it to versions of the lizardand two versions of the rhino now the first of the lizard is based on his stupid look from the amazing Spiderman movie you know it is what it is maybe five I look but it just doesn’t look like the lizard but I grew up with the apartment to accept the body is because they had made this lizard yetand I can’t follow want some version of lizard in my collection is all give me the some advice but then again it is one later in this one is much closer to the classic lizard although yet he still cars crocodile or something I can admit I really have a soft spot for the configuration of your earlier this here a simple but this cow looks the most like how the lizard first appeared in the early early in the spider account books for simple yet this is one is that is overand I figure right now I think this one first this one is a little more contemporary stylized version of rhino is pretty bigand bulky for the cool figure but then is for classic rhino down the roadand it was pretty nice nice bulky I found that when the bigger characters tough guys they actually work better in the scale because he didn’t suffer from her arms like being so skinny that they couldn’t handle the articulation like is felt by the thought that these guys here thought the big guys are really nice in the three through quarter scale now for comparisons Marvel legends both of these guys came out’s bill the figures for the quite big so here is the Marvel legends lizard he’s pretty nice articulated tail what’s my scope detail in their big crazy tongueand I like this figure lot but certainly how this counseling alligator this guy look like a dinosaur to meand lizard what has changed over the years but I still have a thought fought for that the web’s classic book as well the rhino usability figure PC here he’s quite big he’s probably easily 7 inches tall moreand what detail he executed two heads so we head ahead of Alexa very similar to this yelling head of the classic master his whole face but I wanted to display what this more contemporary look with your award for short time but I was only rhino figures over the years with that is openface look like was nice change of pace that one of the accident is cooler here are some more Spiderman villains I pair these get together Primus just because they’re green so the first we’ve got these corking now you might be thinking this is not look like the scorpion because this is figures actually based on the ultimate scorpion so he fought the open Spiderman and alternate reality which was similar to the regular changes for example the scorpion was not Max Gergen but was actually a clone of Peter Parker so I was there were preferred to have a classic scorpion but that the same time via the alternate universe had a lot of conical conceptsand ideas is electrochemical costumeand so you glad I got this blood would’ve preferred to get a classic scorpion on with it shame is the only scorpion also electric there so that’s a lecture classic costume so here’s electroand you may notice himand held time you need us to stand up straight is a good time to mention one of the nice things will this line is that prenatal figures came with display bases plug the fee into the baseand it would save her name right on base is pretty niceand I wish that the current model is blinded some some workers are always phone over anyway this is a nice looking class electro my only issue is that if the with any of these in the figures you get some weird articulation which is either that joint in the middle of his torso to the quite line up rating high joint permit for a little bit put them back to that weird pagan there that happened a lot with this line but sculpting while designwise he looks really nice now for vulture as I said with a scope of the vulture I really like the other look at his face there is old nasty looking guy both horrible horrible that this figure is the wings with a look pretty good wine like that was either just taking the very shallow Lopez like thatand anytime he turns arsenal from a fallout is very frustrating so I found in the just displaying like this now just looking old man green unitardand not the coolest is next to Dr Octopus now this Dr for skin might not look like Dr Fisher used to public scorpion this is based on the ultimate doctor office in which case he was a little bit leanerand you costume like this is a little more contemporary lookingand with this one I didn’t really mind that I can open Dr Octopus because I was never a big fan of Dr Forsyth found he was frumpyand boring looking so actually liked when they made him a little bit to more menacing in the ultimate universe so as far as comparisons go this electro hereand displayed with this head which is more modern look for the electric both had to face her daughter’s face I think because a lot of artist is fine this electricity crazy masculine goofy looking but at least they did include that head is an option I’ve asked the chosen display in the more modern head but the find the classic it didn’t just doesn’t look costume black pant Hopefully get a fully classic collector in the future this is pretty nice except I don’t like that they didn’t do you alternate hands so you only have hands of his electric power should the tool frustrating if he just was standing around overall not to culture just got him recently is he’s pretty cool work better but a whole lot better as the sales fall at the latest plug into as welland he had two heads to display the wealthy get the classic the ball go ahead but is the rhino of so many gumball vultures over the years the company was messes for this difference cow head He was a another figure is not too long ago so this is more of a classic frumpy dog are fiber correctly I think before was figures of tentacles were articulated so you cannot just throw just plug myselfand stuck with them how the proposed Christmas he can’t even to the wires to twistand and Leslie scorpion know this scorpion figure is based on the Mac garden look it’s not the ultimate scorpion so that he does have a nice articulated tail can pull this I wish that the samples were similarlyand the thought best figure for when he has an open face he can see the flesh around the nose rather than to be pants all green was so next to be another forced by villains starting with the shopper on my personal favorite villainsand this is a decent figure but super excited Craig Hunter accident this is one of the best figures from the line just a lot of nice scope detail this line mean his vessel. Big believer that hope times over fear Joe Biden Harris or to the most optimistic people I know and you see that optimism where fighting to make sure that we take back our country we build a better America and America was on 20 16th but America we need to have in 2021 and beyond am really excited and me a few surprises do I look forward to committee chair whereas thank you so much D with you any way to fight for what you need to know the coronavirus hello front line mayor of Laredo driver Raymond Miller during mom said dad told you smart dog judging you right now and your best friend is called crazy no punches and give it to a story mansion getting your newsletter noble in Stephenson’s straightforward news straight to the store ABC neuron than I am now with so much on the line number one for on stories stories is most likely has I had bad news ABC news live watch the first right is are following orders unfortunately on the right situation real marriage much of the last with your initials warning to Laredo. I just wanted to bring that up before we begin on a topic that has become very very important to everybody first of all the amount of work that these professionals behind me and many other professionals in many rooms behind us who are watching right now have the room here to bring them all in but they have been working round the clock so hard on the Corona virus and it say at the tough one but a lot of progress is been made I want to provide an update to our people citizens to the world frankly on our action to address the Corona virus and those that have been hurt badly by at this moment we have 22 patients in the United States country that have coronavirus unfortunately one person passed away overnight is a wonderful woman a medically high risk patient in her late 50s for others are very ill thankfully 15 are either recovered fully or they’re well on their way to recovery in all cases they’ve been let go in there home additional cases in the United States are likely but healthy individuals should be able to

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And the only served alongside the fence back to the first morning is writing me to tell Ali if election line and that will be on the country over the past four years truly worried about our future but when I think that there is a Dog Great Pumpkin Believer Blood Moon T Shirt reason for doubt I the people in front line workers were your line to save a truck driver and the workers in the grocery store after he find working there putting your own safety on the line to help us get through to the winning students take industry between you know that families belong together to Americans who know that love life people of every age in color free declaring one of life this country a phony generation of children is going to cry again which I was three interstellar that everyone keeping a fight you dealing from you doing something great you I hear errors you either we know we are going to bring our country closer to realizing it’s great I can do it to work and vote like never before because we need more than a victory in November We prove that years do not represent. We all had to give me chat because a lot of the other chefs to actually work behind the firewall exactly whereby the grief are also what uses you will you all pretty much that we chat so we all you can to reach is not just in and out for messaging stuff people use it for payments to all the use it constantly shows why it’s been a lot why trouble Lockyer yet there’s a lot of reasons that we it is is ubiquitous which will make can’t believe this because I used it like I used to be like while China’s Vogt their government blocks things were being used by their people and now literally that’s that’s happening now in our country our government to block some apps yeah great we we now become the Littleton dictatorship were doing the exact same kinds of things that these little movies we used to call them Banana Republic surprise use of teams trumps phraseology I should whole countries you or something along those lines now were openly talking about sending in military after protesters about closing off apps and talk about doing all kinds of just wild stuff that we used to think. And you heard one of the last things he mentioned was border security Washington always plays it now is sorted after three years or so and got her fence was against you without borders is not a nation Donald Trump is into restoring the borders of the snake hearing Trump laid out a series of priorities it doesn’t end with border security and begins at border security and and after we secure the border not only build a wall but beneath the ground and and in the air we do internal enforcement but he said the focus has to be on criminal aliens would just we just had a conversation about law enforcement just had a conversation about the violence that the setting are cities that the reality is that there’s heartbreak and tragedy that has struck American families because people came into this country illegally are now involved in criminal enterprise and activity and we don’t have the resources or the will to deport them systematically Donald Trump is set were going to move those people out people of overstayed their See Other related products: unicorn shirts and shirt

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What Does 40 Days without Ego Look Like? 40 Day No Ego Fast…

Ok so I felt the need to share about a journey I embarked on this week. And hopefully if God willing I will continue to do so. So, my favorite Yoga Instructor Sherrell Moore invited her yoga tribe on a 40-day Global Surrender Fast with herself and Dr. Celeste Owens.  And as I started doing the prep work last week, I had in my head what I was going to give up and it was social media and sweets. I felt this was great speaking that I was starting to look like a chick in her first trimester but with an empty womb, and to not waste a half an hour out of the day sitting on the “thinking chair” scrolling through the gram. But I had to be honest and say I had given these things up before for Lent and obviously I had relapsed and been on one ever since.

But I knew that where I was in life I needed more than what I was willing to give. So, I cannot tell you how I stumbled upon the idea of ego, but I knew that it was a sore spot for me, and to be straight up with you I had no idea how or what giving up Ego looked like. So, I turned to the one book that I knew went into depth about Ego, and it was A Course in Miracles. The crazy thing is my brother Jay gave me this book literally 7 years ago almost to the date. I started reading it and then put it down because I remember thinking this book is like one big riddle and I already think too much and this book would send me right over the edge. So, I picked it back up and started reading from where I left off which was Chapter 4, (yes chapter 4…don’t judge me) well Chapter 4 talks about the Illusions of the Ego. If you’ve already read the book…congratulations to you! 

But if not, I do encourage you to read it, but just make sure you’re in a place in your life where you are able to receive and digest it. The just of this chapter was who God created you to be vs. who you created yourself to be. I knew I had stumbled on the right sacrifice because everything in that chapter was speaking to everything I was feeling and going through at the time. I recognized that my ego was the little voice inside my head that used fear, anxiety, and pride to govern my actions, and I felt this shade was becoming more of an eclipse in my life.

“Who but the insane would undertake to believe what is not true, and then protect this belief at the cost of the truth” (Schucman, H, (2007) A Course in Miracles 3rd Edition, The Foundation for Inner Peace)

 Yeah that was my BOOM moment…lol! Just to give you an example of something I was going through at the time, ego tells us to hold on to dead relationships because to let go would be to lose…right? Wrong, number one you can’t lose what you never had and it’s never a loss when to be honest this it’s not what you want anyway. Ego says stay because this is all you have, spirit says let go and I’ll show you more.  

 Ego will never say I love you, I need you, I care about you, I appreciate you, I value you, I need help, I apologize, I was wrong, I don’t know, or just simply Thank You. Ego lacks transparency and realness. Ego keeps great business man and women from being great leaders. Ego can be in the driver’s seat when it comes to religion, just as much as it can be the thing that keeps you from having a relationship with God. So yeah, this 40-day journey that I am embarking on, trust me when I tell you is not easy. This wasn’t even my first choice as you can see. It’s a tough sale giving up this protective blanket that I to choose to carry around with me daily. It’s something that has been a part of me since I was able to understand human connection. But after a while you realize that maybe its guarding you from all that could be great in your life as oppose to all that is bad?  So, for the next 40 days I am riding in the No Ego Zone.  Letting go of less and making room for more…more of who I am, more of who God is and more of who I am to this world.  

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