#anyway i used to do this back in like 2013 and idk why i stopped

[enochianghost]

interact with this post in some way(like, reblog, reply, whatever) and I'll send a cheesy pickup line in your askbox on valentine's day.

you do not have to be following me or anything but PLEASE be sure your ask box is open

[stormblessed95]

https://www.tumblr.com/stormblessed95/733070094082736128/the-thing-about-yoonmin-that-fascinates-me-is-how?source=share

umm does anon live in some alternative universe of army fandom where people are calling Yoonmin fanservice? Cause from my 4 yrs of experience what i know is tkkrs occupies around 80% of army fandom and #THEY love to call jkk fanservice and since they want jm to stay away from jk they ship him with yg like not even jkk posts get's so much like from armys the way yoonmin get's. There's decided ships for this fandom since beginning and that's taekook, yoonmin and namjin. These are the most popular ships in the fandom so idk where that fanservice came from.

the thing that irks me about yg is how easily he can praise jk and Th who are also maknaes but it takes special efforts for him to praise him. When someone tries to praise jm here comes my man yg saying "yeah but jungkook does it better", "yes but jm can you stop doing that", "yes but why did you have a guitar when you don't know how to play" , "yes but why were you getting emotional that wasn't the time" there's always a but when it comes to praising jm but see how effortlessly he does it for jk and TH. The whole tom and jerry dynamics being him constantly saying something to jm idk how that's fascinating to y'all.

I remember how armys were dragging that one grp which i think was seventeen or something else i don't remember but yeah they were saying that the members needs to have some sense cause they were teasing one member over his weight but yg saying "i don't why you were shirtless when you're body wasn't even that great" like yes king show us how tom and jerry works. It actually gave me a small heartattack when in today's suchwita yg said something one good line about jm. Anyways jm loves him so i have no right to feel bad or anything on his behalf.

Anon didn't say anyone was calling yoonmin (or any one else) fanservice, so 1. Calm down over THAT part. 2. There have also been jkkrs and vminners and sope (hopeminers? Lol) since 2013 as well, so relax there too. Not that it's a competition?? Because that's weird...

And 3, and most importantly.... the thing that irks me about you is that you are speaking in fact about yoongi not complimenting jimin ever, when Yoongi praises Jimin just as much as he teases him. And for all the bickering and teasing Yoongi gives Jimin, Jimin gives it right back JUST AS MUCH. SO GOD DAMM, chill out and look at the whole picture there. Like my god, the man can barely breathe without praising Jimin in some way... Jesus.

A whole Compilation for you...

Always encouraging him and believing in him

Just spoiling him

1. Question: what is Jimin to you?

Yoongi: person I want to take care of

2. Question: to yoongi, jimin is __?

Yoongi: important person

Just loving on him all the time

The other boys always making Jimin be the one to ask Yoongi for things because he always gives Jimin what he wants

The man just cannot help himself, here is a whole thread to look through!

"It actually gave me a small heartattack today when Yoongi said one good line about jimin"

Is doing nothing but exposing yourself as ignorant. Because like cmon have you watched ANY content? Not just yoonmin bickering compilations?? Lol Jimin didn't talk about how much Yoongi gives him love, support and encouragement ever since their trainee days until now for you to act like he doesn't do anything but dote on the man. The bickering is something they both ENJOY and doesn't upset them. Jimin doesn't need your protection. He especially doesn't need it from YOONGI of all people.

"Anyways jimin loves him so I have no right to feel bad or anything on his behalf"

They say after writing an entire essay doing exactly that... better luck next time I guess?

Do yall forget that yoongi is my man? My bias? Everything to me? That trashing him in my inbox is NEVER going to get your a sympathetic ear? Lol especially when you are just laughable wrong??

[julysn]

fanfic ideas

(i would totally write these if i felt motivated. but i don’t. so now u have to listen to me.)

fandoms i had in mind: south park, unwind dystology, tcoaal. but these can be used for any fandom.

a/n: HI HELLO i would like to see these happen. so im dumping it on YOU. you’re welcome. most are x reader focused bc i have wrote those all my life, but u can switch these up idgaf

writers i see u sprinting at me from a mile away. it’s okay. slow down bookie. it’s okay i’m here.

ALSO IF YOU USE THESE GIVE CREDIT FOR INSPO 🙏 just put my user somewhere visible on the masterlist/notes or tag me 😉 it’s not that hard pookie

# south park ──

and yes u can use these ideas for any other piece of media. just give credit i am BEGGING 😭🙏🙏

— … unwind au. HELLO DO WE SEE THE VISION WTF?? cmon guys. stan and kyle being connor and hayden WTF DO U GUYS SEE IT wjat. kyle as connor definitely they’re pretty similar imo

— fingerbang au where it has four separate endings for the main four. but y/n is a stylist/manager/makeup artist (if u need it.. look up kpop fics for inspo)

— instead of tolkien and his parents moving in across tegridy farms, it’s y/n. yeah that’s all i got

— doubling down except heidi’s y/n, and y/n doesn’t get back with cartman.

this was one i attempted writing a WHILEEE ago but never really. yk. got the hang of it.

but basically to sum the idea up, it’ll be the entire doubling down episode except extended. like, it could play it longer and extra scenes (ex. extension of the dinner scene where they make fun of cartman to heidi, every scene in the montage written out)

— childhood best friends to enemies to lovers where y/n had a big fight w the love interest days before they moved. but then they move back to south park and (not surprisingly) they got a glow up and they’re hot now! so everyone tries to flirt w them but the love interest catches their eye and they’re still enemies ofc but they catch feelings

— this is more of a oneshot, but y/n asks someone (or a set of people) to get matching sanrio pajama pants. yeah. do whatever stinks

— high school au. where y/n is a sad emo loser and the love interest is popular. and they lose a bet and have to ask solemn little y/n out but y/n says yes so the love interest is like “….. im gonna break up with them after three months.” but (spoiler alert) THEY FALL IN LOVE!

bonus points for angst w happy ending. like y/n finds out about the bet or something and then the love interest is like “NO PLS. I NEED U. U DONR GET ME” and they’re vulnerable and desperate and y/n’s like “okay! 😊😊”

idea. hi. i have idea. y/n gets bullied for dating love interest so they’re protecting sad little y/n bc they feel bad and it’s really cute and love interest thinks “…….:…. why is y/n kinda cute.”

— DETECTIVE KYLE X CRIMINAL Y/N PLEASE IM BEGGING??? i Love him i Need This. ARAAAAHHHHH

— angel y/n who is pure and innocent but NOT NAIVE! please do not make y/n sound like how those 2013 wattpad fics would’ve made her sound. demon love interest.

is it just me or y/n is a separate entity. she’s banging every character in existence like what. also i’m not religious so i wouldn’t really know about this stuff

# unwind dystology ──

— au where risa isn’t in a state home and she has cool foster parents. and she has to babysit lucas but one day she meets connor bc he’s home (shocker!) and they become friends and he slowly stops being away from home to see her 💘💞🩷

— CAN WE GET SOME X READER UNWIND FICS PLEASE

— au where y/n gets hired to be connor and risa’s bodyguard. and risa has her gay awakening so connor and y/n get to know each other and fall in love!

— blind date hayconrisa. how will this happen? idk ask urself

— high school au. again. why am i so obsessed w high school au’s IM BARELY EVEN A FRESHMEN DAWG 😭 but anyways fake dating haycon. like maybe connors trying to escape from his admirers so he agrees to fake date hayden.

surprise surprise. THEY FALL IN LOVE THOSE GAY FUCKERS

— mermaid risa x sailors connor and hayden. i live laugh love hayconrisa.

— jackson wang party and hayden gets DRUNK (boy u are not old enough to be drinking!) so connor takes him home and takes care of him

— rockstar au. do we smell it

— guardian angel hayden who is never serious to the point connor’s like “….. are u seriously my guardian angel wtf”. but haycon. i lov haycon

— LIFEGUARD AU. LIFEGUARD CONNOR IS THE HOTTEST THING I HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF. WHERE ARE THE ARTISTS I NEED U

— risa or hayden has to tutor connor bc his dumbass is failing every subject (high school au)

— underage smoking + shotgun kisses in the graveyard…,,…. hayden somehow gets weed so he shares it w connor and risa and maybe haycon/conrisa shotgun kisses oneshot. hear me out hello

— yo chat can we get some more unwind angst w happy ending

— greek god/goddess au? dunno how that’s gonna work but i just came up w it

— LOVE BAND AU. connor being sad emo guitarist with a hot keyboardist girlfriend

— au where lev did clap at happy jack…,…

# tcoaal ──

i cooked way too hard w these. someone better write one of them and tag me (we’ll get married in a gorgeous cathedral if u do… 🌝)

also IK THESE ARE MORE FLESHED OUT THAN MY SP AND UNWIND ONES! it’s bc i prefer multi-chapter tcoaal fics

— me trying not to mention unwind au whenever i think of writing fics for other fandoms. NO BUT SEEEEE it would work so well. like maybe the graves parents wanna unwind ashley and andrew somehow finds out so him and ashley run away (andrews.. uh, 17? and ashley’s 15 prob. u gotta know the unwind lore for this to work)

maybe they’re like starkey when he killed that juvey cop. maybe they do kill juvey cops. maybe

— 1980s AU OMG where it takes place in the united states (did europe have a lot of arcades back then? but anyways. the united states had more arcades so let’s just say it takes place there) and andrew is the sad emo loser at the prize counter.

and y/n is babysitting for some kids when she (not specifically fem reader but i have a habit of using she/her when talking about y/n…) decides to take them to the arcade bada bing bada boom

and the two meet at the prize counter and they hit it off really well despite andrew being an absolute ass. and the kids are like “….. are they flirting” so then y/n begins to take them to the arcade more often to see andrew 💞💞🩷💘💘💞 and they get to know each other outside of him being at work

— nsfw ashley x y/n x andrew threesome smut where they take turns FUCKING y/n RAW!

w/ plot: ashley and andrew are both head over heels for y/n and they’re arguing over who gets to have you because.. um. idk. and then y/n shows up somehow and she’s like “guys what—“ and they immediately begin flirting with her

so she’s like “i like the both of u WANNA SEX” or something (cmon im not good at porn w plot) so they… yeah. they BANG!

— government detective/officer y/n who gets sent to track down the graves siblings. she finds them w a colleague and is sent on an undercover mission to somehow befriend them, get close to them and lure them into a trap where they get arrested

but in the process (surprise surprise) she falls for them! and there’s four separate endings. one for if y/n picked to save andrew, one if y/n picked ashley, one if y/n picked both and somehow kept her job and one if y/n eventually hid her feelings and just let both get arrested!

maybe even some epilogue chapters for all of the choices. like for the first two it’s y/n getting spooned/spooning the other as they talk about what would’ve happened i’d they didn’t escape (bc y/n was smart and made the one who got caught walk in front) and the remaining sibling doesn’t know that y/n still works for the gov’t.. for the third one maybe y/n moves in w them and they’re all poly now? dunno. still thinking. and for the last choice maybe y/n felt guilty and went to visit them in prison to confess but they’re both extremely pissed

smut for this one would be crazy 😭 “technically i’m getting paid to get closer to them so it won’t matter if i let them make me cum right” typa sex idk

also. maybe y/n’s getting cornered in an alleyway by some creep and as she’s about to try and strike andrew and ashley save her! and that’s where the attraction starts because she’s like “wait.. they kinda have morals.. like kinda”

— now hear me out i might b cooking w this. rock band au. ashley does drums, andrew guitar, y/n something else maybe singer bc she’s a talented queen. and they’ve all been friends since childhood and ashley doesn’t really have a problem w y/n bc she hasn’t made romantic advances on andrew and occasionally lets the two hang out bc yk. ashley. anyways something something something idk

— i have one thing on my mind. catgirl + catboy ashley and andrew who both meet y/n as she’s their parents’ neighbor who’s smoking on her porch. and they approach her for some reason maybe andrew wants a cig and y/n is the funniest person alive so they both grow a liking to her

love love love catgirl ashley killing her victims and then poking them with her tail as andrew just stands there like wtf

[carphoegras]

I don’t ship most of these myself , but your rant/ramble posts on Les Mis ships are funny so I genuinely wanted your opinion on these 👁

1. Enjoltaire

2. Valvert

3. Enjonine

4. Marisette (or whatever Marius x Cosette was called)

5. Javonine (Javert and…Eponine 😭)

6. Marionine (A name a just guessed for Marius x Eponine because I wasn’t bothered to look it up)

7. and uhhh.. Granjonine (I think that was the name)

well hello darling! i live to entertain lol lets get into it i might have to put this under a cut because i think its obvious i have a rambling issue

Enjoltaire : a classic for good reason. they seemed really base level to me at first because i watched the movie first, but once i read the brick and really saw their dynamic i fell for them HARD. for me the beauty of this pairing is really rooted in the substance of their individual characters as opposed to like a romantic relationship. idk its so difficult for me to verbalize why i love them so much i think i just love the idea of finding common ground despite difficulties. enjolras and grantaire mirror each other in such a beautiful way that i feel the musical/movie couldn't really capture without demoting it to a puppy love grantaire/mean enjolras dynamic idk i have such an issue with some portrayals of them because i feel like they create a victim/abuser situation where there wasn't one but that's like a whole post within itself anyway i feel like im getting incoherent i love exr with every fiber of my fucking being just read the brick if you don't get it ok the movie and musical just dont do it justice and for the love of god avoid the fics written in 2012/2013 after the movie hype its all wRONGGGG (i love you george blagden but you created a twink grantaire movement) (they pull each others pigtails okay its a mutual obsession) (enjolras why don't you just ignore him baby? glutton for punishment my dear we all know if you hated him you wouldn't let him hang around) (anyway) i should make a seperate post about my exr feelings bc i could talk ab them for hours

2. Valvert: okay this is where i feel like i can be unpopular with the fandom. i fucking hate this ship. like physically, spiritually, all that. its one of those that i kinda lose respect for the person bc its literally a cop/prisoner thing. its not enemies to lovers. its not a hate love thing. javert's a fucking cop. valjean is his victim. the whole idea of people romanticizing this makes me feel so insanely icky and i think the point of the story has just gone RIGHT over some folks' heads please take a step back and think about it. neolib behavior sorry not sorry

3. Enjonine: enjolras is gay. just like, straight up in the brick enjolras is a gay man. this ship is spawned from straight girls who saw aaron tveit and use eponine as their not like other girls posterchild. just a whole bunch of hetero nonsense. same behavior as the joseph quinn enj x reader bs. honey thats a homosexual man and can we please stop reducing eponine to needing a boyfriend she needs a stable home and a goddamn therapist fucking hell

4. Marisette: okay. i LOVE THEM. i'm a cosette stan myself, and i'm a huge fan of a gooey love at first sight situation. they contrast my love for exr in the sense that they're a very easy love. their parts in the book literally make me SWOOOOOON i can put aside my beef with marius as a combeferre kin to appreciate how sweet they are

5. Javonine??: im sorry wh aht. did the snape x hermione shippers leak into the lm fandom or am i being fucking punked im not discussing this its obvious why this is wrong please tell me its obvious y'all are NASTY

6. Marionine: eh. eh. i mean, like i said with enjonine eponine's problems are not gonna be solved with a dude. i'm really not opposed to them, persay, its just that eponine's love for marius is so incredibly dependent and rooted more in her personal trauma than actual love, so i feel a little weird with them sometimes. sometimes it just gives anti cosette vibes (cough cough bc of the bullshit love triangle angle that the musical markets cough cough) so i tread very carefully with them

7. Granjonine: again what in the damn hell. i'm not dignifying this shit they could be besties but for the love of god george blagden did a number on the straight girls. STOP PROJECTING ONTO EPONINE IM GONNA LOSE MY FUCKING MIND LEAVE HER ALONE

thanks for the ask lovely, i do love rambling even though these ships are baffling lmaoooo

[uhohbestie]

hey besties i have fanfic-themed but not directly plot-related questions! well, mostly

question 1) do yall have any favorite zombie media? was there anything in particular that yall are drawing on for your fic?

personally i've been scared of zombie movies all my life lol but because of tamn i've finally been trying to finish the world war z audiobook? (the last time i tried getting thru it was pre covid which has been. a weird experience) it's fully voice acted and i like it so far! super different from the 2013 movie with brad pitt

question 2) :3 do you guys think you'd be up to talk about the no-apocalypse au where scarian get to have a normal breakup someday? :3 it doesn't have to be now or anytime soon but i'd be into hearing about it!

anyways hope yall are having a good day lock and key ^_^

These are some really REALLY good questions!!!

for starters! for me (Lock) I actually didn't start watching zombie media until Key introduced me to it! We watched the Korean series All Of Us Are Dead together, and then followed it with Last Of Us (the tv adaptation) and the first seasons of The Walking Dead, so I've have a very curated window into zombie media (actually! We watched Walking Dead as research for TAMN, because Key wanted to make sure I understood what hordes of zombies in cities look like!)

As for Key's zombie exposure (lol): I (Key) WAS BIG INTO ZOMBIES GROWING UP!! Constant zombie media consumption--probably one of my earliest hyperfixations ngl I feel like what we're drawing on while we write TAMN is an amalgamation of all our favourite bits from the things we've seen together, as well as some of my favourite formative zombie medias while growing up.

The Walking Dead Season 1 remains like, one of my all-time favourite seasons of any television show ever, so that's definitely a big influence. (Some of the later seasons get a lot less of my love LOL) The Korean movie Train to Busan is also a popular one you may have heard of--I'd definitely recommend giving that a go if you're okay with zombie media that veer on the side of tragic. When The Last of Us (Part One) came out, it quickly became my favourite zombie-oriented video game, though a lot of its predecessors (Resident Evil series esp.) really gripped me (even though it took me ages to play-through cuz they would scare the shit out of me LMAO) Its TV show is also an excellent adaptation, so if you're not into playing it or watching a Let's Play, the show is a good bet! The UK series In the Flesh was also an interesting look into After�� the apocalypse, and though it was cancelled after it's second season, it's also worth a watch for a fresh perspective on zombie media. 28 Days Later was an excellent movie and ofc Dawn of the Dead is a classic. And then the usual comedies like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, etc.

I saw World War Z as a movie but never read the book! I should def give it a try--idk why I never did! God, honestly I could ramble about zombie media forever if given the chance 😂 None of this even begins to cover the sheer amount of zombie comics I read. I was very much a "webcomic" era kid, so a lot of my favourite old original zombie comics are either offline now or I simply don't remember what they were called anymore, so I have no way to track them down :( I did recently enjoy the webtoon Boyfriend of the Dead as a light-hearted, humourous read, but there were a lot of gripping, nuanced, plot-heavy original comics like a decade ago that I loved and I wish I could link. ANYWAYS. I'LL STOP MYSELF HERE AND LET LOCK ANSWER QUESTION NUMBER 2 LMAO

HI IT'S LOCK. I'M BACK. Now, as for a non-apocalypse Scarian scenario, we've actually thought about this a LOT! One of our favourite things to do is make an AU, and then multiple "what if one key things was different" spinoffs of the same AU.

We're gonna put this under a read-more, in case you'd like to keep the "what if" a mystery forever, but to sum up:

In an alternate reality where Scar and Grian break up and then the zombie apocalypse doesn't happen........ they stay broken up! Scar gets what he longs for in the fic: time away from Grian to hurt and grieve and heal with the support of his close friends who care about him.

It takes him a while until he feels ready to date again, but Scar does eventually start a new relationship with someone he knows really well, and has loved and trusted for a long time. They get engaged and start planning their wedding..............

............. and then Grian comes back and says he's sorry, that he misses Scar, that he was wrong, and that he doesn't want to be without him. And Scar................... takes him back.

It's-- listen, it's not the best possible outcome! But we're basing heavily on the Life Series Scarian dynamic, which is itself incredibly nuanced and complicated and tragic and a little bit "you're both bad for each other." It's part soulmates, and it's part codependence, and it's partly killing the person you love with your bare hands alone in the desert, and how that guilt ends up haunting you into every other subsequent timeline. Grian's not the best person for Scar as he is, and Scar's not the best person for Grian, but they want to be with each other, and unfortunately that desire often overrides common sense.

As for what happens after that.... we don't know yet! It was a thought experiment we worked through and ultimately realised "oh, it's WAY better for them that the zombies DID happen in the long run, 'cause without them this would be awful." (Not that the zombies are great, but woof......... Scarian, c'mon.) In this version of events, they lose a lot of friends when Scar takes Grian back, and the isolation suits Scar poorly. It takes them a much longer time to work through how to be good for one another. If the zombie apocalypse was good for anything, it was forcing a reckoning of what they wanted and how to get it--the only other option was death. Without that hanging over their heads, it takes Scarian years to reach any sort of resolution, which (no spoilers but) takes TAMN!Scarian a much shorter amount of time to get to.

Hope that answers your question! The 'what ifs' are our favourite, so we love to ramble about them hahaha <3

[m1ckeyb3rry]

AHJSJSJS TUMBLRS A BITCH BUT YOU DONT NEED TO APOLOGIZE ITS NOT YOUR FAULT i was also getting some things done i just took a quick break and saw Jeirin’s post LMAO (epic crossover fr HAHA) so i didn’t have the time to notice but also even if i did id probably assume you were just touching grass (which you were LMAOOO)

L is now trademarked by otoya yup he doesn’t have any Ls in his name so he had to make up for it elsewhere (haha Lswhere I’ll shut up now)

SUHSJSSH WAIT OK GOOD I wasn’t sure if it was a shitty kid bully teasing or like a cute friend teasing it’s good that it wasn’t bullying though because if anything it is a rather cute nickname I just didn’t know if you had trauma from it SHSHSHSH

Ah 2022 jjk era….yk back then I definitely would’ve been like “NOOO DONT END SOON” now I’m like “yeah fucking finally” it had its good run back then now it’s fr just kinda insane also it’s actually so sad that at some point I ended up just full on saving the TikTok’s I knew I needed to reference back to later on just in case they disappeared forever SHSBSNS I have so many random

tutorials saved on there too like I’m not losing this hack

- Karasu anon

HAHA sometimes i do see your asks but i’m like “i know i’m going to write a super lengthy response to this so let me save it for later” LMAOAOA like i know for a fact i’m going to ramble and have to whip out my ipad for it meanwhile i can post my silly two sentence thoughts and responses to comments in five seconds on my phone so i’ll be active just not answering-asks-active if that makes sense HAHAH but yeah idk why tumblr does that with longer asks especially it just freaks out 😭 maybe one day they will resolve it…

LSWHERE PLS no yeah it’s his letter honestly he’s lowkey chill i think he would find it funny that we slander him sm…idk how to describe it i just have this hunch that if he knew he’d think it’s his rizz at work or smth

yeahhh i never got mad i thought it was so cute as a nickname!! pls i was too mean to be bullied…i was rlly shy as a little kid so i got bullied when i was like really young?? not like making fun of me bullied but forced to do stuff by my “friends” because i didn’t want to hurt their feelings by saying no 😭 but i got new friends and ended up moving for middle school anyways!! and at that point i had developed the most villainous mouth ever i was actually lowkey evil with some of my quips BUT only to people who deserved it so like it cancelled out 😩 mostly everyone liked me so it was def meant as an endearment thing like aww cutie pie mouse mira hehe especially because that was back when the guys were just starting to hit their growth spurts and they loved to do anything to show off that they were now 5’7 instead of 5’3 so they’d pat me on the head after singing the little song LMAOAOOA icl looking back it’s lowkey unreal but then again what in the mira lore isn’t

REALLLL 2022 jjk era was so diff i also thought back then that the manga would go on for much longer so it was a diff vibe?? tbh i still can’t believe it already ended tbh i feel like it had such a short runtime for a manga…like attack on titan i know ran from before 2013 (because that’s when s1 of the anime came out so it would’ve had to have been before) and the manga ended in 2021 and that’s not to mention the ones like one piece that have been going on FOREVER ofc idt jjk should’ve gone on for quite that long but it def could’ve done with some extra time i think 😩 did you see that gege straight up released a new character LKSDJFH like what even

no that’s so real half of my saved tik toks are edits and the other half are makeup tutorials…ngl i never use them though because the only makeup i can ever do is a tiny bit of pencil liner, mascara, blush, OCCASIONALLY highlight if it’s smth super important/a special event, and some color on my lips!! so like all of the foundation/contour hacks are very useless for me and same with the eyeshadow tutorials but that doesn’t stop me from watching and saving HAHAH

[foursdarkdays]

About me?

Honestly idk why i suddenly thought about writing all this here but ig maybe??? i could find the root causes of my mental health? idk

Sooo umm It all started when i was 11, back in 2011 when my Mom's father kicked us out basically. I dont really have a father, i mean i do but hes not really there. My mother married him out of family pressure and that didnt end well. He had severe anger issues and was always jealous that my mom earned more than him. male ego ew. He wanted mom to leave her job and be a houswife with a lot of restrictions but thankfully my mom stood up for herself and they were living seperately. They never lived together tbh. my father was from another city and my mom didnt move there due to obvious reasons. so anyway yeah back to the story. So when we were basically homeless, we rented a house . glad my house had a good gov job so we could afford it. It was during summer holidays right after my 6th grade when everything started affecting me mentally. I would stay home alone all day, no tv , no phone , no colony friends it was very lonely. Weird thoughts kept coming in my mind it was a devils house lmaoo. Plus the family fights and stuff were taking a huge toll on me. I didnt share this with my school friends back then prolly because i was embarrassed or because i didn't find the need to? I did'nt know how to behave with people. i started getting aggressive about a lot of things and my friends left me for that. Later i realised and apologized for my behavior and got them back.

anyway so back when i was in my grandfathers house, we were a joint family0. my grandmother, granfather, mother and her brother and sister and i. There were fights almost everyday but later when my aunt and mama got married the fights got more intense. i used to run up to the terrace to avoid all the shouting. I think thats one of the reaons why i get so worked up when i hear people yelling. trauma?.

anywayyyy so everything started effecting my studies and my acadmeics went to hell. i love my mom but back then she'd say all these mean things to me like "Why were you even born" "you're so useless" honestly i dont remember now but yeah that also affected me a lot mentally that i started self harming. It was out of curiosity at first but then i got addicted. The physical pain made the mental pain feel less. I self harmed almost everyday. it was like a drug to me. When my friends found out about it because i used to cut my hand like the whole hand, i started cutting my leg, It hurt a lot, sometimes i couldnt even walk. i just wish id bleed to death or something. Family and bad academics made everything worse. and as a cherry on top, something happened in school. Everyone thought i was a liar and it was like everywhere i went, people spoke bad about me that i dreaded going to school. Anyway this self harming continued till 2016 November ig? (i started in 2013) i self harmed in the hostel as well lol until.. until my ex best friend cum my roommate tried to end her life. It was scary. She left school but i kept thinking about it. Somehow that made me stop trying to kill myself for a while and completely stop self harming. I used to have a lot of anxiety attacks without knowing they were anxiety attacks.

anyway this even worsened during my bachelors. My depression and anxiety got very severe. Not just mentally but also physically. The chest pains, the body pains, the nausea and fatigue, the constant tiredness and fear. I completely failed academics which in return increased my anxiety. I felt so hopeless and useless beacuse i was good at nothing. It took me 5 years to graduate a 4-year bachelors degree with 34 backlogs and numerous failed suicide attempts. i wasnt even that brave to hang myself or jump off but but it was mostly over doing my anti-depressants. oh yeah i went tp therapy, that guy saw my self hard scars and told my mom. fuck. anyway mom was worried. also i'm glad she never told me anything about my academics she never made me feel like a failure im very glad. Shes always encouraging. I feel selfish that i tried to end myself when im the only one left for mom but i couldnt and cant help it. Im sorry mom you obviously deserve a better kid. A much better kid. So ummm yeah after graduating and leaving therapy because the meds werent working i started feeling a bit better? the anxiety and depression went down or maybe i just learned how to live with it. it was already 2022 which means 11 years of depression. i think anxiety came along in 2016? honestly idk but ik i started treating it as a part of me, i accepted it and it did help me. It doesnt effect my daily routine because ive learnt to live with it.

anyway so about my father, he kept visiting from time to time. at first it was every month, then it became once in 2 , 3 ,4 ,5 . Its not like he cared. He never helped us emotionally or financially, Even when my mom was hospitalised and had a surgery in 2013, he didnt come to see. He only visited when he wanted to. My mom went througha lot because society talks yk? she basically a single mom and its hard to live in this stupid country like that. People talk shit about you. Anyway it took me 16 years to realise that my "father" never really cared. I started despising him and even his presence (once in a year) gave me the icks. His family also always spoke bad about my mother including himself ig. I didnt know how to asnwer people when they asked about him. okay so anyway he came home last year (2022) and i had to kick him out because it was becoming suffocating for me and mom. mostly mom so i did it for her. I said some rude things to him so that he wont come again and trust me i feel shit but yeah he deserved. And he came home on my bday early this year (jan). I still remember the way my heart dropped seeing him.I hate birthdsys because of this. I had to kick him out again. Again people talk. No one sees his mistakes , how he never called or gave a fuck about us. they only see how we kicked him out. I hate him . and then later i got to know that he also tried to ummm hchoke my mom back in 2003? when we went to visit him. I was there. i have a vivid image in my head that i can never forget. Theres also some secret that my mom and grandfather are keeping from me. idk if ill ever know about it . He prolly has another family maybe? idk p maybe its something worse. anyway thanks to him i cant look at any other man without thinking of him now.

yeah so now back to me. I ruined my life. idk if it can repaired. I'm trying to do my masters. I have applied to some collges in australia and one of them rejected me. my cgpa is 6.2 and i have 34 backlogs with no work exp so its hard, All i want to do is die because i cannot take this anymore. I dont try to kill myself anymore but i wish i could.

All of my friends have jobs or are doing their masters. what am i doing? i know i ahouldnt compare myself but do you think its easy? Everyone out there is indepedant already and im nothing? Its very embarassing and hard. The time is ticking like a time bomb and im terrified.

i need to get away from this place. I need to heal and i just need anothee chance from life where i could repair myself and move forward. I will never be able to move on if im here. There's a lot of pain and trauma here. ISTG if it doesnt work out, i might really do something to myself, i will shut myslef comepletely and just wait till i die.

ill add more things if i remember, now i have cramps on my fingers bye

[jonathanslms]

Here's what I missed on ! Tumblr !

It's pretty weird to return to this site after so long. (I'm not exactly a "Twitter refugee" as they seem to be called lmao, more like someone who, because of the whole Twitter stuff, realised that there are still people on Tumblr? And apparently the site stopped their weird filtering/post banning system bc they now allow porn again? Anyway,) I don't remember when I was last active on Tumblr because I deleted my old blog some years ago, but if I had to guess I was probably active from around 2013 to 2015/16 at the latest? And boy, there's so much new stuff...

Firstly, the quality and functionality of themes seems much higher? Maybe that's just because I'm older now, but there are just so many original and innovative themes and pages that, like, are so interactive?? And such a broad variety as well!!!

Adding on to that: Javascript is sort of forbidden?? The work-around is pretty fast and easy (just ask support for permission basically), but still, that sucks lol.

Then there's the whole "you can have an account but no actual blog"-thing?? Idk if I really like that. A lot of people seem to use the site like that, so it's apparently at least somewhat popular. But as a Tumblr-conservative (as in conservative about Tumblr, not a conservative on Tumblr) I must say that having a blog and customizing it was sort of the whole Unique Selling Point of the site, so... interesting choice. (As long as that's still possible I'm still happy either way, I think)

The whole Dashboard experience in general is just so different now. For one, there are ads? I'm not a fan of ads (shocking opinion, I know) and I'm sure had they done it right Tumblr could have become like Ao3 and not even needed them. Still, I don't mind them too much (haha certainly not bc I use adblock :) idk what that is, sounds very morally wrong to me) and I read somewhere that the premium version is only 40€/year, which isn't a lot a lot, but still unfortunate.

I can't even tell which features are new and which aren't most of the time (except for the replying to posts? and THE CHAT?? now that there is one I can't help but wonder why there wasn't one from the start?). I think there's a lot of stuff Tumblr implemented that used to only be possible through xkit before.

Speaking of which: xkit! There's a new version - xkit rewritten - and it's incredible. I didn't even think about re-installing xkit until I stumbled upon a post that mentioned it. Now that I am aware of its existence again, god have I missed it. Being properly on Tumblr without it just isn't the same, man...

Pretty sure the search and follow tags/trending/etcetc stuff is completely revamped as well, but I don't think I used that very often back then anyway. Once I followed a big chunk of blogs I just found new ones through snowballing.

The last thing I can think of that noticably threw me off was the slang? Like wtf is a blorbo? (I actually think I get that one now) What are those other scrinkly, scrumblo, beedy weeby words? Why do I feel several generations older all of a sudden? I can feel the immediate and visceral impulse of disgruntled rejection welling up inside me everytime I see people use any new slang word (or meme, looking at you old scorsese movie that doesn't exist) whose invention I wasn't there for. (please if you've been (back) here for a while, feel free to educate me on the new tumblr etiquette, memes and slang words, I'm curious, I wanna know)

Though that being said, the overall vibes have not changed much. It is still a site that embraces its nerdy lameness and unnecessarily deep deep-dives into ANYTHING. And after the last few months to years of seeing people attacking anyone and anything, and feeling angry/depressed every time I spent some time on my social media site of choice, I think this is a very nice change of pace.

[minouyujis]

friday | new message from: y/n

y/n: i just got done having a breakdown ohmygodh

megumi: hello to you too

y/n: YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED GIRL

megumi: "girl"

y/n: i'm so sad they had no reasob to beat up jaden smith this badly in karate kid

megumi: you're watching a movie

y/n: yes

y/n: it's called karate kid

megumi: ...so i've been told

y/n: yeah its about a kid learning karate idk

megumi: i would have never guessed

y/n: ok anyways im so sad stop before i cryi again I CANT ALL HE WANTS IS TO HAVE A CRUSH on the violin girl

megumi: why do you type like that

y/n: it's impulsive pls 😭😭😭😭😭 I CANT HELP IT

megumi: i don't get it

megumi: i'm going to bed

y/n: DO EMOJIS SCARE U THIS MUCH OR SOMETHING damn

megumi: goodnight

y/n: 🖕

monday | new message from: y/n

y/n: pls this is so boring

megumi: ....

y/n: what

megumi: why are you texting me... we're literally right next to each other...

y/n: um maybe bc we cant speak 🙄

megumi: ok

y/n: can we do like random trivia questions while we wait for this to end

megumi: ok

y/n: ok

y/n: whats ur fav color

megumi: i don't know if i have one to be exact

y/n: black?

megumi: kind of basic. it's just a color i feel fits best for me most of the time

y/n: ok so ur favorite color is black got it

megumi: i didn't say that.

y/n: next question

y/n: whats ur favorite music artist

megumi: do you mean who?

y/n: ok anyways i'm thinking ur like an alternative music listener person idk

megumi: sure

y/n: whats ur spirit animal

megumi: dog

y/n: so boring OH MY GOSH

y/n: i'm going to need u to step ur game up

megumi: these are literally getting to know a person questions and you're getting mad at me for giving you honest answers

y/n: maybe it u said something else i wouldn't be snoozing 😴

megumi: wouldn't that be lying about myself?

y/n: focus on ur work NOW

wednesday | new message from: megumi

megumi: HEY 🥺💝🤤🤪😍😵🤩🥰

y/n: what..

y/n: who kidnapped u omfg

megumi: what are u talking about bestie its me 🥺😍🤣🤣 LOL

y/n: hi yuuji

megumi: hi

megumi: nice convos u got up there ROFLLL

y/n: STOP LOOKING THROUGH OUR MESSAGES me and my associate have very private lives and would like to continue to keep it that way.

megumi: ok

megumi: wyd im bored

y/n: um first of all wheres megumi

megumi: sleeping LOL i saw his phone on the floor and just grabbed it

y/n: omg dont scroll too far 🙊

megumi: please don't ever text yuuji back if he manages to take my phone again

thursday | new message from: y/n

y/n: can you check to see if i left my phone charger in my room pls i cannot believe im back home without a charger

Megumi has read your message

y/n: ok

y/n: so is it in there

Megumi has read your message

y/n: this is feeling like us meeting for the first time all over again

Megumi has read your message

y/n: i will now take it upon myself to find someone more useful than u tyvm

friday | new message from: megumi

megumi: sorry for the late response, i was busy and left my phone on while you texted

Y/n has read your message

Y/n is typing...

y/n: ok then why didn't you text back after you WEREN'T busy

megumi: i was busy all day?

y/n: u don't sound so sure

megumi: i'm not going to do this with you

y/n: okay bye

megumi: alright

sunday | new message from: megumi

megumi: are you done being mad?

y/n: megumi

y/n: you... you double texted

megumi: ...

megumi: is it a crime? i don't get it

y/n: DID U MISS ME aww ��🙊

megumi: i'm just wondering if you're done being a crybaby over a charger

y/n: it's ok i'm coming back tomorrow anyways and we can go back to binge watching ur boring ass documentaries 😍

megumi: you're the one who asks me what i want to watch though

y/n: do u wanna watch

megumi: no thanks

y/n: um i didn't finish

megumi: i already know what you were going to say

y/n: what was it then huh u freak

megumi: some idiotic joke that nobody uses anymore from five years ago

y/n: deez nuts is a joke from 2013 pls take up on ur knowledge

megumi: my fault for not analyzing that joke as much as you do

y/n: u wanna know what u should analyze

megumi: what

y/n: ur dogs 😍

megumi: ....what

y/n: i tried to make it sound like a ur mom joke because i didn't wanna say ur mom if u didn't grow up with her

y/n: that would be so rude omg

Megumi has read your message

Megumi is typing...

megumi: that's kind of thoughtful coming from you

y/n: u wanna know what else is thoughtful

megumi: Stop.

monday | new message from: y/n

y/n: hey i miss you

megumi: yeah thanks

y/n: "i miss you too y/n 😍"

megumi: sure

y/n: wyd

megumi: waiting for you

y/n: wait u actually miss me?

megumi: i guess

y/n: OMG STOP

y/n: ur such a softie megumi gumi gumi)):

megumi: are you almost here?

y/n: yesyesyes

y/n: do u wanna cuddle

megumi: sure

y/n: YAYAYAYA

y/n: movie night?

megumi: yeah

y/n: OK OMG

y/n: im so excited ahh i missed u so much

megumi: me too

megumi: i got those candies you like

y/n: wtf

y/n: i love you ))::

Megumi has seen your message

Megumi is typing...

megumi: i love you toSkdjsjjddjndd

Megumi is typing...

megumi: ily

Megumi is typing...

megumi: i love you Hmdoskdfg oh my fucking god

Megumi is typing...

megumi: shut up

[formula-what]

Brocedes time line for a very patient anon

Lewis quotes in orange, Nico quotes in pink, everyone else is blue.

okay first some background knowledge:

Nico is rich as fuck. only child, born in Germany, brought up in Monaco. son of world champion Keke Rosberg

Lewis was born on a council estate in Stevenage and his dad had to work multiple jobs for him to start karting

Honestly I think the difference in their backgrounds is one of the things that pushed them together, they were both isolated from the rest of the kids, but I’m keeping this purely facts rather than speculation.

2000

They’re both 15 years old and are karting teammates for MBB (Mercedes Benz McLaren) in Formula A

Robert Kubica: “there was always competition. But they didn’t fight. It was friendly competition. There was always laughing afterwards.” // “they would even have races to eat pizza”

They often shared hotel rooms at the races which was a “scene of many wrestling matches between them”

Dino Chiesa (their karting boss) – “many times I was called by reception about some problem in the room. It might be noise, or they might have broken something. They would never sleep so they were always tired the next morning”

“they both liked ice cream so much, particularly vanilla. During the night they wanted to eat ice cream always, so I had to go out everywhere to find some and keep them happy”

Lewis would often persuade Nico to buy him sweets

They would have competitions over LITERALLY EVERYTHING

Lewis: “we always had great competition whether on the racetrack or computer games or playing football”

“probably the first bit of competition we had was when Nico used to ride a unicycle everywhere so I thought, ‘I’ve got to learn how to ride this unicycle. Ive got to be better than him.’ I spent all my time outside the go-kart learning to ride this unicycle”

Apparently it only took Lewis 2 hours to teach himself how to do it

In maybe 2013 ish (when they were still friends) Lewis reflected with– “I have never laughed so much than when we were racing together. Nico was kicking everyone’s butt at that time. We had so great races together and built a great relationship”

“we were just arriving and enjoying go-karts and eating pizzas every weekend, fighting all the time and just having fun, whereas now it’s all business.”

many times they would talk about what they would do when they got to f1, made plans hoping to be teammates and become world champions together.

“Nico would say ‘when I’m in formula one’ and for me it was always ‘if I ever get to formula one’. Because obviously Nico’s dad was a formula 1 driver- he knew he was going to make it.”

F1

Nico joined f1 in 2006 with williams, Lewis 2007 with McLaren. And man I WISH I knew what went down with this two when Lewis nearly one his rookie season (missing out by one point to mr fernando alonso) and then WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP in his SECOND SEASON (again by one point thank you mr alonso)

2008 Australia

Nicos gets his first podium, and ofc Lewis is there (he won it) and they are jumping around in the cool down room. Just, two kids who are literally living the one thing they have spent their whole lives dreaming about together. Lewis won the championship that year and oh wow I can only imagine their celebrations together.

2013

They’re teammates in Mercedes!!!

Nico: “every other day there are moments or things that pop up and I can smirk and thing, ‘that’s exactly the same as it was 15 years ago’”

2013 Malaysian Grand Prix gets an honourable mention. This is the race with red bulls good old multi 21 but merc also had their own team orders, stopping nico from fighting for his first merc podium, but Lewis disagreed with it so it didn’t really spark that much tension between them- more the team.

2014

the start of the turbo-hybrid era so y’all know this was good in terms of performance.

2014 Bahrain Grand Prix

They were both fighting for the win and had a collision which prompted a “mock fight” in parc ferme after the race (which I really hope there’s a video of).

Turns out, Nico won because he had used engine modes banned by Mercedes to get a power advantage in the closing laps. which kinda pissed Lewis off

2014 Spanish Grand Prix

Lewis’ fourth win in a row and took lead in the championship. They were fighting till literally the last second and Lewis crossed the line 0.6 seconds ahead of Nico, who says he could have passed him with one more lap.

Lewis defended using the same banned engine modes that Nico had used in Bahrain. Yeah.

2014 Monaco Grand Prix

This is IT. This is peak petty bitch. This is the one people still cry about.

It’s the end of Q3, both of them are out on a lap, Nico ahead of lewis. Nico’s already on provisional pole but Lewis is pretty close.

And then,, Nico just,, parks his car?? He says he made a mistake but the guy doesn’t even crash he straight up just,, rolls to a stop into a slip road. So the yellow flags come out forcing Lewis to abort a lap that was in the makings of pole.

The stewards say it was a-okay but Lewis was convinced it was intentional (and let’s be honest, yeah it probably was) and he even claimed that merc’s data proved it. (low key surprised he didn’t just tweet out the telemetry but I guess he got a stern telling off from mclaren last time)

But *this* is when Lewis tells the world that they aren’t friends anymore. An iconic interview.

Nico then wins the race too, ending Lewis’s four win streak and putting Nico in the lead of the championship.

2014 Hungarian Grand Prix

Lewis has an engine failure in quali meaning he starts from the pit lane, but he does good to make his way up the pack but THEN there’s a safety car which puts him ahead of Nico but on a different strategy.

Nico asks if Lewis can let him past as he needs to pit again before the end of the race, which will give him the place back anyways. Lewis straight up refuses, he’s on a role here. He started from last, and Nico started from pole, why should he slow down to let his title rival through.

Mercedes strongly suggest that his blocking fucked up Nicos race but Niki Lauda is on Lewis’ side so he doesn’t get punished (We stan a supportive father figure) even though he did blatantly refuse to be a team player.

And guys, this is the last race before the summer break so you know Nico was left seething for four weeks.

2014 Belgian Grand Prix

Second lap, Nico attempts a clumsy move and there’s contact, giving Hamilton a puncture and knocking him out of the race.

There’s a lot of controversy but basically it turns out he crashed with him intentionally, not backing out of the corner to “prove a point”. Nico ended up finishing second but was punished by the team, forced to apologise, and even booed on the podium.

2014 Abu Dhabi

For some reason it ran for double points?? The first time in History??? But idk???

Lewis had a perfect start and went on to win it and take the title, Nico had a problem and was told to retire the car but he kept going anyway and finished 14th. Nico went into the cool down room to congratulate Lewis on the championship win, which. cute.

Lewis claimed his second championship. Which not only was huge because of the inter team rivalry, but also because of the large gap between his first win. This guy had lost out on winning the championship in his ROOKIE season by ONE POINT, and then WON it in his SECOND season, and then there was like a FIVE YEAR gap before he won it again.

2015

Damnnn this car was fiiiinneeeeeee.

They do more laps in testing than any other car AND do it on a single power unit. And then. Australia. They take a one-two THIRTY FOUR seconds ahead of the third place Ferrari.

2015 Chinese Grand Prix

Nico is second in a one-two but claims that Lewis kept backing him up into Seb, trying to compromise his race (and help out his boyfriend).

Lewis gave zero shits: "It's not my job to look after Nico's race, it's my job to manage the car and bring the car home as healthy and as fast as possible. That's what I did."

2015 U.S. Grand Prix

If Lewis wins here he could also claim the title with three races to spare (you have to remember back then the title fight often went up to the last race so this was pretty cool)

Lewis very aggressively forced Rosberg wide at Turn 1 to claim the lead, and then there was some sexy fighting between the Mercs and Redbull all race. Nico led in the closing stages but made a mistake, running deep into a corner and letting Lewis past with only a handful of laps to go.

Nico finished P2 and had not only lost the race but the championship title. Nico was fuming, saying Lewis’ move at the start was “one step too far”.

This is the infamous cap throw in the cool down room. Lewis throws Nico his P2 hat, Nico straight up yeets it back at him. I tear up just thinking about it. They grow up so fast.

2016

Nico had came so close to winning and I guess this was just, the last straw. All or nothing. This year he literally gave it everything he had. Lewis and him stopped speaking, Nico gave up literally the rest of his life and even stopped sleeping in the same bed as his wife and taking care of his kids, instead spending every moment trying to get into Lewis’ head. Honestly, I think he might be the only one that could beat Lewis. Just because he knew him *so well*. He literally threw away like 16 years of friendship. But also it’s like, he had to be world champion. He *had to*. His dad was champion and his whole life he’s been preparing to win it too. Tough luck that he raced in the same era as Mr. Best Driver The Sport Has Ever Seen.

Nico won the last few races of 2015, and the first four races of 2016. Lewis had a couple car problems and Nico had a good lead on him in the championship.

2016 Spanish Grand Prix

Gentlemen. A short view back to the past. Nico had made a switch error on the formation lap causing the car to go into the wrong engine mode. So he was running a lot slower than Lewis, who was fighting to claim back the lead.

Nico closed the door to keep him back, and Lewis lost control on the grass, and spins into Nico and taking them both out of the race in the first lap. This is probably one of the most iconic crashes. I’m pretty sure there’s a clip of this somewhere in black and white with the titanic music over the top.

Niki Lauda blamed this one on Lewis (I guess even a supportive dad has to be critical sometimes) "Lewis is too aggressive. It is stupid, we could've won this race".

2016 Austrian Grand Prix

Nico had been struggling with a brake issue all race but was still on the way to win it. But in the last lap Lewis had caught him up and gone in for the overtake.

Typical Nico not taking any shit, refusing to be the guy that backs out and they collide. Lewis took the win and a damaged Nico dropped to fourth. From first. In the last lap.

Both of them blamed each other and tired dad team boss Toto Wolff threatened team orders in future races.

The stewards blamed Nico for the incident, issuing him two penalty points for failing to allow "racing room" and causing a collision.

2016 Abu Dhabi

In the final laps of the race, Lewis ignored team-orders from his race engineer and the technical director.

He deliberately slowed and backed Nico into the pack hoping they overtake him, and there would be enough of a points difference to win the title.

Nico finished second and won the title by five points.

And then,,, Nico announced a surprise retirement during the FIA prize giving ceremony.

Lewis’ response:

"This is the first time he's won in 18 years, hence why it was not a surprise that he decided to stop.” (We stan a petty king)

“But he's also got a family to focus on and probably wants to have more children. Formula One takes up so much of your time."

“In terms of missing the rivalry, of course because we started karting when we were 13 and we would always talk about being champions. When I joined this team, Nico was there, which was something we spoke about when we were kids. So it's going to be very, very strange, and, for sure, it will be sad to not have him in the team next year."

And now they are kind of on speaking terms but not really, they are both pretty private but I think they are at the ‘awkward small talk when we run into each other at the supermarket’ stage of the break up.

[sayuyu995]

*I love reading differents opinion so I’m sending this to various accounts, thanks in advance* 

Hello, my friend! I hope you're doing great. I want to know your interpretation about Levi's last salute and Hange's expression. Why do you think Hange had that sad face? If we analyze the rest of the faces, Petra was smiling, Erwin had sort of a proud face, and Moblit was in sync with his squad leader lol. At first, I thought that Hange had that face because Levi was left alone and he was tearing up, but I don't think Petra or Erwin would feel happy after seeing the state he was left in neither. I think that Petra and Erwin's expressions come from a sense of pride since Levi fulfilled his duty and stopped the titan curse giving meaning to the death of his comrades at the same time. But, Why Hange didn't feel the same? My shipper side tell me that it was because Hange wanted to be there with him and didn't like the idea of a hurt Levi in a cruel world. My other side tell me that since they spend so many times together, Hange kinda mirrored what Levi was feeling, so she was sad because he was sad. Also, it get weirder to me that Moblit was feeling sad too, especially since we didn't see that much interaction between Levi and him, so I think Moblit was sad bc Hange was sad or he was just empathizing with Levi’s feelings idk. Anyways, I think this last panel will always be a curse for me, especially since it’s the last time we see the old SC and Hange was sad, Isayama why so cruel.

Hi anon! I am kinda the same with you, my shipper side and rational side are fighting lol

I don't know if isayama want to express a deeper meaning through their faces or he just wanted to draw them saying goodbye to Levi lol. I think Petra represented "comrades" that Levi promised his comrades to rip out all the titan and he did it. Erwin was the "Goal" that to kill Zeke, but as Levi himself also confused when he killed Zeke, Erwin there seems more like no expression compared to Petra's "proud face". Hange was the private side of Levi, put aside my shipper's goggles, only Levi survived at the end, all his friends were gone, what is the meaning of all these.

Moblit was a mystery haha, I think showing Mike or Oluo is more reasonable than him, maybe isayama wanted to give some mobuhan crumbs, but since Hange was standing in the middle and looking directly to Levi. So I think perhaps Isayama wanted to show us Levi-Hange-Moblit relationship?

(Please wear your shipper's goggles!) Given that the Levi & Moblit official short story was the first to publish back in 2013 or 2014 (I forgot), I feel like Isayama definitely has this Levi-Hange-Moblit thing in his mind lol. And the standing position in 139 was Moblit>Hange> <Levi, interesting huh. Hange was the only one who has changed her expression, happy>sad>proud, Hange felt sad when she saw Levi being upset. There must be something linked between them and the others couldn't get it. Moblit's sad face maybe represented Levi-Hange relationship, how the others saw them, Moblit in that short story clearly understood the bond between them and Levi's feeling to Hange too, so maybe he just felt sad because Hange was dead and they were being parted.

[aquilacalvitium]

Hello!!! I’ve been trying to find you for weeks! I noticed you like Black Veil Brides a while back and decided to try listening to them again. I used to listen to them back in high school, and when I tried them again I promptly hyperfixated and now I’ve been listening to almost nothing but The Phantom Tomorrow album for like...a month lol. Also bought two entire albums over a weekend. Only problem was I couldn’t remember which of the people I followed had started the whole thing...but I finally found you just now! So 1) thank you for getting me back into BVB, unintentional though it may have been, and 2) please tell me anything you want about BVB. Literally anything. Take this as an opportunity to infodump if you’d like. There’s definitely a lot I don’t know!

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM BOI (gender neutral) you don't know how happy these words make me!!!

So firstly hi hello I'm SO HAPPY I got you back into BVB!! Also you probably sent this to my BVB side blog so yeah this is my main account :3

WHERE. TO. BEGIN???

Well I, like you, first listened to them in high school then stopped for several years before diving head-first in and playing their music on repeat for months! I remember there were just a select few I listened to at first including Fallen Angels, In The End and one or two others. I also found Wake Up in college when they uploaded the music video close to my birthday and I played that on repeat for weeks. THEN FINALLY I went all in, bought all of their music and ever since about 80-90% of what I listen to has been BVB! I'm even considering getting a couple of BVB tattoos 👀

BUT when someone asks me to talk about BVB, the main thing I want to talk about is Legion of the Black, and judging by your ask you haven't been deep into the BVB fandom for super long so this Legion of the Black (LotB) may have slipped under your radar. Allow me to clarify!

In 2013, BVB released Wretched and Divine (WaD), their third album (and my favourite). Along with the album, they also released LotB, a film that's basically just a feature-length music video. The film includes every single track from the album (yes even the transmissions) in a different order to how they're listed in WaD because they tell a story! I won't spoil what the story is and if you want to watch it, I found the full version on youtube for you! You can also buy Wretched and Divine Ultimate Edition which includes both the CD and DVD, or Deluxe Edition which has all that PLUS Behind the Scenes footage!

Watching LotB will also shed some light on the Born Again music video that they released today 👀👀👀

And one last thing to bore you with, I wrote a non-smut, fully completed fanfiction about LotB! It's an OC-insert and the main character is nonbinary. The story is actually pretty dark as the main character goes through a heavy bout of depression and everything that comes with it, but all content warnings are listed in the fic description and at the beginnings of each chapter, that way you can skip specific chapters that include things you don't like and still read the rest. I'm also working up the energy to add a synopsis to each chapter for those who skipped but still want to know what happened. I'm just lazy 😅

And because Ashley was present at the time LotB was released, but I wrote it after Lonny joined, I found a way to keep both of them in.

Oh and if you didn't know, Ashley Purdy the bassist left the band in 2019 and his spot was soon taken by Lonny Eagleton. There are rumours going around about why Ashley left, some are quite mean, but people tend to do that when someone they like changes career paths or leaves a group or whatever so I don't know how true they are.

I'm also slowly writing an essay of sorts on the history of the band and it's individual members, but it's not yet complete and idk where/if I'll post it when it is because it's not exactly the kind of writing I can post on AO3

ANYWAY that's about all the infodumping for now! But by all means feel free to ask me anything, I can almost guarantee I'll have an answer 😋 (special interest my beloved)

[zaptap]

ive made a few of these bingo sheets and theyre fun so i decided to make one not just for e3 but also JUST for splatoon 3 (not just for e3 but for like the whole lifetime of the game). also heres my updated list of characters id like to see in smash, ordered generally by which id like more and/or think are the most realistic

since min min got in i took out helix, and since i couldnt decide whether to add in waluigi or madeline i added another row (realistically i dont think any indies are getting in but i threw some in anyway). also i was like “oh yeah maybe theyd put in a gen viii pokemon” so i threw in hatterene since thats one of my favorites.

also as for waluigi (and shovel knight for that matter) i think it would be nice to see an assist trophy get in just to break that rule. also i remember being super surprised he wasnt in brawl (back then i thought he and wario were equally important) and even though that was based on a wrong impression ive still felt like he should be in there ever since

notes about the bingos under the cut

really is about time for those n64 games, especially now that mario is dead so theyre free to release sm64 on it. game boy games would be nice sometime too

would also make sense to include banjo-kazooie in that, nintendos had a good relationship with microsoft lately and the total absence of anything banjo-kazooie on the switch is odd since it’s a dlc character (every other one has a game on switch they can use for cross-marketing, even if joker’s took a while) and i think the best explanation for that would be that theyre holding off for the nso n64 app (this is easiest from a technical standpoint because all they have to do is make a deal to use the roms)

when are they putting octolings in mk8d

xenoblade chronicles x is one of the only wii u games left that they could port (aside from ones that wouldnt make much sense like splatoon and ssb4) so i guess that might as well happen sometime. also monolith soft might be doing something else besides helping with splatoon 3

im not ready for metroid prime 4 (im over halfway through mp2 and therefore the trilogy as a whole) but it’s been a while, they might show it and it could even come out this year

hal apparently recently hinted at a new kirby game or something

the upgraded switch is obviously going to be called the Nintendo Switch ͥ  since they already did the ds lite so theyre clearly naming everything in the family after the ds family, theres absolutely no flaw in this logic. idk if theyre showing it, but unlike 2019 they didnt say they werent showing new hardware (just that they were showing software, which could be taken as denying rumors, but they sometimes specify when certain things arent being shown)

metroid prime trilogy also might come this year. would make sense to release it before mp4 since not everyone is going to buy a wii u to get it (and at this point that doesnt get nintendo any money since they stopped making them)

where is detective pikachu 2. i hope it has the blue pikachu from that first tease they gave us in like 2014 (2013? that was a loooong time ago idk)

they said this was MOSTLY 2021 so i am absolutely getting my hopes up for splatoon 2

the two sinnoh games could likely be there

would be super cool if oddity came to switch. and almost as ironic as megalovania getting into smash

we havent seen the botw sequel for a couple years so we’re kind of due for an update on that

it’s ace attorney’s 20th anniversary this year so maybe theyre doing something. theyre already porting those games though so idk. maybe he’s getting in smash

whats with that watermelon mario render

i held off on watching a playthrough for ndrv3 on the off chance it came to switch and i could play a dangan ronpa game for real for once but it’s now been 4 years and we just passed the 10th anniversary of the series (albeit during a pandemic when i wouldnt expect them to have done anything) so it would be cool to see the series come to switch. i think if it still doesnt after this though i’ll just watch the playthrough, 4 years is long enough. amazed ive avoided spoilers this long, i still know next to nothing about the game

im about done with acnh but im still waiting on those splatoon items. and i ran out of storage in february so i need more of that too

nintendo did stuff for zelda’s 30th anniversary so i doubt theyre forgetting the 35th. maybe wwhd/tphd ports, idk

been a couple years since fire emblem, intelligent systems is probably up to something besides planning yet another paper mario spinoff

miyamoto forgot pikmin 4 in the oven 6 years ago and it got burnt to a crisp and thats why it hasnt come out yet because he had to start over

and splatoon

the inklings scared daft punk into quitting so now that theres no competition in the robot musician scene they should have a daft punk style group

i waited and waited and neither of my top two splatoon stages (flounder and d’alfonsino) came back in splatoon 2 so i hope just because splatoon 3 isnt in inkopolis doesnt mean they still wont return

would be sick as hell if there was a real hide and seek mode instead of just sticking to your own rules in private battles. havent played that since 2015 but it was super fun

show us the effects of the chaos world

i wanted mc craig to have a song in octo expansion and they didnt deliver. heres another chance

splatnet 3 baby

cant wait for nogami to do a funny 3 pose

abxy came back for splatoon 2.... am i gonna be that lucky again...?

salmon run doesnt make sense if youre friends with a smallfry but they could either change the story context (you just fight “evil” salmonids?) or replace it with an equally fun co-op mode

amiibo!!! i think i said this before but they should label them by weapons if these cephalopods dont have genders, would make more sense (the gendered ones had different weapons anyway)

returning characters!!!! would like to see everyone have a role of some kind

maybe #GearForAll wasnt successful in getting the emperor/spy/mecha gear, but perhaps theyll at least consider not making that stuff exclusive this time around

squid girl gear should be back. and they should call it a dress instead of a tunic because its a dress. and theres no gender now anyway

as ive said before... TRIPLIES!! you hold one in each hand and another in your mouth. and you can spin around like the tasmanian devil

remove splatfest tee annoyances: you should have a prompt at the end of a splatfest to pay to scrub your tee (to make sure you get the chunks) also it should be on a neutral brand so you dont end up with an overabundance of ink resistance up (or whatever else)

better online and cloud saves would certainly justify having a second splatoon game on the same console, as much as im loving that it exists

hopefully theres a global testfire again

sooner or later the workers will rise up and kill mr grizz

remember in splatoon 1 where if you had squid beatz (via the amiibo) you could “play” it in the lobby and change the music? then you were stuck listening to only bubble bath in splatoon 2? why did they take that option away they should bring it back

looking at those apartment buildings in the trailer i think it would be cool if you had your own room and could decorate it

an octavio redemption arc would be fun to see. in the manga he stole the zapfish because the octarians had an energy crisis, and in the end they worked out a deal to share the electricity

[lilatreus]

im new to the ac fandom and i didnt know there were any books should i be reading them?? or are there certain ones that i absolutely need to read or would i be okay if i skip them?

Yeah it’s okay to skip them if you want! They’re mostly there to give some more insight on some of the characters. If you want to read them but you don’t have to money to buy the books, you can read them here. I actually have all the books already on paper copy so I would definitely recommend buying them if you really enjoy them.

There’s also some comics and graphic novels about them too which I have included in on the master list. They actually follow the modern storyline of you want to read up on that. If you want to read them just do readcomicsonline. They have them all, only watch out for ads.

Anyway here’s the master list, it’s pretty long won’t lie:

The books, in order of strictly historical events:

Assassin’s Creed Odyssey by Gordon Doherty (2018)

Basically this books gives the canonical story to assassin’s creed odyssey following Kassandra around Greece. If you had the “best” or good ending from the story then you’re probably going to be upset with the book. I actually liked it and if you were ever confused about the game then this is definitely for you to read.

Assassin’s Creed Origins: Desert Oath by Oliver Bowden (2017)

This book takes place years before Origins. It follows Bayek who a teenager at the time. We learn how Bayek and Aya start their relationship and it kind of explains some of the side missions that talk about Bayek’s past. If you love Bayek and Aya’s relationship you will love this book.

[ insert for whenever an ac valhalla book is written ]

Assassin’s Creed: The Secret Crusade by Oliver Bowden (2011)

This book is the one I’m currently rereading, so it takes place with the father of Marco Polo talking about Altaïr’s life. It talks about his—Altaïr’s—dad within the first few chapters, events that happened in the game, and then what happens after. It gives more insight on what happened between the events of ac one and the little bits of scenes we see in ac revelations of Altaïr in game. If you want to know how Maria and Altaïr got together you’ll like this book it’s very sweet and I love how smitten Altaïr was. If you love Atlmal (Altaïr and Malik) you’ll also like this book but it will crush you.

Assassin’s Creed: Renaissance by Oliver Bowden (2009)

This follows Ezio through assassin’s creed two. Literally just the book version of the game. Does talk about how Ezio and Cristina got together and a few of the memories you get to play in Brotherhood are in this book. I like it. It pretty much follows the game exactly so if you want to skip it, you can but still a really good book that I recommend reading.

Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood by Oliver Bowden (2010)

Follows the plot of the game. It’s pretty similar to it as opposed to a few differences. While I like this book, I will always say the game is better than this book entirely. Still, it’s pretty good and explains a lot of plot.

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations by Oliver Bowden (2011)

It explains why Ezio is doing what he does in the game. Why he’s there and what is reasoning is. You get a little small bit about Claudia but that’s it. Ezio does, in book, visit Leonardo on the last few days before the artist dies :( that’s pretty much it. Only some minor differences to the game. If you’re looking for something about Desmond, you won’t find it in this book.

Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag by Oliver Bowden (2013)

I’ll be honest I only read this book once so my memory is pretty poor on it but from what I can remember it’s about Edward and Caroline and how they got together. And then there’s something about Anne Boney and Edward towards the end I believe. Kind of explains his backstory from the little scenes we’re shown in the game I think? (Correct me if I’m wrong on this one but I’m certain that’s the gist of it).

Assassin’s Creed: Forsaken by Oliver Bowden (2012)

This one was the first assassin’s creed book I read. Now fair warning: if you do not like Haytham Kenway, I strongly advise you to not read this book. It is all about Haytham until the final few chapters and then Connor takes over the book once you’ve killed him in game. This book explains how he (Haytham) came to be apart of the Templars and how Edward dies. It talks about his relationship with Ziio and how he built the Templar order up during the seven years war. I’ll be honest it was okay when I first read it because I was like 11 and the only other thing I had read was like just percy jackson. Looking back on this book though, it’s not that great. I do not like Haytham at all so I, personally, would not recommend this book. I went in reading it expecting for it to be about Connor and I was very disappointed and upset that it wasn’t. So you can skip this book if you like because the only thing it does is give insight to a lot of what Haytham does.

Assassin’s Creed: Unity by Oliver Bowden (2014)

This is my favorite book. This is about Arno reading Elise’s diary after she passed. There’s little bits where Arno writes in here and there throughout the novel. It’s pretty sad I won’t lie. Explains how Elise grew up, what she did during the parts where we didn’t see her in game, and talks about how she felt during the parts where we did see her in game. Basically at the end of the book it’s Elise asking Arno to please help seek unity and stop the war between the Templars and Assassins.

Assassin’s Creed: Underworld by Oliver Bowden (2015)

This book follows Jayadeep Mir, also known to us as Henry Green. There’s two parts to this book. The first part takes place six years before the events of syndicate and you get to really learn about the twin’s father and then the second part takes place during the events of the game. It talks about Evie and Henry’s relationship during the second part and it’s pretty good!

There are no books about assassin’s creed chronicles (ac China, India, and Russia) if you’re wondering why they’re missing :(

The comics:

*most of these take place during the modern storyline I’ll try my best to explain when they come in and how it adds up to the new our modern storyline at the end

Assassin’s Creed the Fall

There’s three issues with this it’s just a graphic novel honestly. Takes place with the main character from AC Chronicles: Russia

Assassin’s Creed the Chain

Graphic Novel sequel to the Fall

Assassin’s Creed Brahman

Written by the same people who wrote The Fall and The Chain, however this focuses on Arbaaz Mir who is the main character from Assassin’s Creed Chronicles: India.

Now from what I’ve seen, correct me if I’m wrong, but the templar and assassin comics pretty much take place around the same time.

Assassin’s Creed: Trial by Fire

Assassin’s Creed issue #1, #2, #3, #4, #5

Assassin’s Creed Templars: Black Cross

Assassin’s Creed Templars issue #1, #2, #3, #4, #5

Assassin’s Creed: Setting Sun

Assassin’s Creed issue #6, #7, #8, #9, #10

Assassin’s Creed Templars: Cross of War

Assassin’s Creed Templars issue issue #6, #7, #8, #9

Assassin’s Creed: Homecoming

Assassin’s Creed issue #11, #12, #13, #14

Assassin’s Creed: Uprising

Common Ground Vol 1: issue #1, #2, #3, #4

Infection Point Vol 2: issue #5, #6, #7, #8

Finale vol 3: #9, #10, #11, #12

Assassin’s Creed Reflections (pretty much a stand alone I would say, focuses entirely on past assassins but canon to the templar comics).

Reflections 1: modern story focuses on Otso Berg historical story focuses on Ezio where we learn Ezio is implied to have hooked up with the woman who in the Mona Lisa painting.

Reflections 2: same thing for modern story but now Otso is looking into Altaïr’s story. We get to see Maria, Altaïr, and their son Darim.

Reflections 3: Otso is now looking into Edward Kenway.

Reflections 4: Otso looks into Connor and we see him with his daughter. It’s super cute this issue is my favorite.

Last Descendants

The Last Descendants (Novel)

Locus: issues 1 - 4

The Last Descendants: Tomb of the Khan (novel)

The Last Descendants: Fate of the Gods (novel)

Assassin’s Creed: the French Books (these have all been translated into english and theyre all graphic novels).

These books I would say to skip. If you want to read it you can, however the modern storyline has been said to no longer be canon anymore. The historical storyline however is still canon but not actually necessary to the plot of anything.

Cycle 1

Assassin’s Creed 1: Desmond

Assassin's Creed 2: Aquilus

Assassin's Creed 3: Accipiter

Assassin's Creed 4: Hawk

Assassin's Creed 5: El Cakr

Assassin's Creed 6: Leila

Cycle 2

Assassin’s Creed: Conspiracies

This takes place during WW2

Vol 1: Die Glocke

Vol 2: Project Rainbow

Cycle 3

Assassin’s Creed: Bloodstone

This takes place during the Vietnam War. A follow up on Conspiracies.

Vol 1: book one

Vol 2: book two

The last two I have listed (Conspiracies and Bloodstone) are canon to the comics’ modern storyline as well as the historical. Cycle one is not. They’re both graphic novels. Also I want to say that I have not read these two yet so idk if I’ll be allowed to recommend them but they’re there. I have no idea where they’re placed in terms of modern storyline bc these two are very confusing seeing as they originally were canon then told they weren’t and now they are again.

Other comics that I really have no idea where to place but they do exist if you want to read them:

Assassin’s Creed: Origins (mini series)

Four issues for this comic takes place following Aya and her journey. You get to see what happens with Cleopatra. I personally really like this comic you get some lore on the Brotherhood and Aya so it’s good. Read this after the video game. (Pretty positive it takes place after the game events but before the DLC: hidden ones)

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla: Song of Glory (mini series)

There are three issues in this. Haven’t read this one yet, however it focuses on Eivor. Read this alongside the video game.

Okay so for canon timeline purposes here is the exact order of everything I’ve listed and where they fall in for strictly the modern storyline:

1 The Fall and the Chain (also called subject four which is just the two of the books into one)

2 Desmond’s story

3 Brahman

4 Assassin’s Creed: Trial by Fire 1 - 5

5 Assassin’s Creed Templars: Black Cross 1 - 5

6 Assassin’s Creed: Setting Sun 6 - 10

6 Assassin’s Creed Templars: Cross of War 6 - 9

7 Assassin’s Creed: Homecoming 11 - 14

Assassin’s Creed Reflections (stand alone don’t have to read if you don’t want to but if you do, read along side the templar stories.)

8 Assassin’s Creed Syndicate modern storyline takes place here

9 Assassin’s Creed: Uprising

10 Origins modern storyline starts here and continues for assassin’s creed odyssey and valhalla*

*If you’re confused as to why Juno isn’t in the game plot anymore the comics explains it. Ubisoft has completely moved her story to the comics entirely and in doing so completely finished the story.

[katierosefun]

well, here we are! june basically flew by and it was a little rough, but we’re back with some long recs on cool things i’ve read/listened to/watched, and i’m about to force everyone to sit down and listen to my sleepover-esque ted talk in which i give unwarranted and unasked for rec lists. so here we go!

kdrama:

while you were sleeping

okay, so i tried to watch this kdrama when it came out in like...2017, i think? but for some reason, i wasn’t able to get past the first episode. i don’t really know why? because it’s so beautifully shot, and i super love the premise, which is basically this girl and this guy are somehow able to see things that are going to happen in the future...but only in their dreams. this whole kdrama really handled the plot super well--each episode honestly felt like a movie in itself, and the filming was just stunning, and i think this has to be one of the most visual kdramas i’ve ever seen. each character is also super interesting and complex on their own, and i really loved seeing such a strong cast of characters interact with each other in this world. 

i think the only slight downside of this kdrama was that i couldn’t really get invested in the romance? i’m not quite sure why--i found both lead actors’ performances wonderful, and don’t get me wrong, i did think they were cute together as the drama went on, but i still couldn’t find myself buying into the romance until maybe relatively late in the drama (like...ep 11 or so? ep 16 was honestly when i realized that awww, wait, they’re actually super cute). but then again, i feel like the writers weren’t really prioritizing the romance either--i think they really wanted us to think about the beauty of dreams and redemption and how everyone can touch another person’s life in some significant way, so i can’t really be mad about it!

but anyways, overall i really enjoyed this kdrama and watched it all a lot faster than i thought i would! SOLID music, beautiful cinematography, good acting, mostly good writing, and some really memorable characters! def. a must-watch if you love suspense, aesthetics, and some wonderful characters.

the ghost detective

i’m someone who doesn’t like horror or scary things at all, but i was so intrigued by the plot and whatever material i saw on tumblr, and...of course, choi daniel, lee joo young, lee ji ah, and park eun bin. honestly, this is just a really wonderful and really underrated cast, and they really all brought out their a-game for this 32-episode supernatural / thriller / horror drama. basically, this kdrama follows the story of a young woman who’s trying to figure out who murdered her younger sister...and of course, there’s something supernatural going on. 

honestly, this kdrama was such a ride. i loved the crime-solving aspect of it, and i was really in love with the interactions between all the characters, esp. that of eun bin and daniel’s characters. (guys...they’re so ride and die for each other. there’s also so much yearning. so much yearning in this kdrama, it just about killed me--) 

the villain was absolutely, appropriately, elegantly creepy, and like...scary beyond belief. basically, the villain (lee ji ah’s character) feeds her victims these harmful thoughts and ultimately get them to kill themselves. it’s sad and haunting, especially when you see that the victims tell their victims “don’t listen to the bad things. try only to listen to the good things”. and...yeah. themes of how to handle all of these bad feelings inside of you really came through in this kdrama, and there were a lot of themes of suicide and the kind of rage and sadness that comes with that. (also! if you’re a fan of lots of angsty/whumpy situations....this kdrama definitely does not hold back with all of your fave whump/angst tropes! literally! every! episode! i! had! to! lie! down! because! too! powerful!)

school 2013 

(aww, look at this precious cast…as though they didn’t all make me ugly cry at least five times—)

yeah, yeah, yeah, i’ve talked about this kdrama ad nauseum, and i know i watched it last month, but as i was studying for the lsat, i really, really, really needed some comfort. most notably comfort re: studying life, academics, how difficult it is to study but also be uncertain of your dreams…and if you are certain of your dreams, how that sometimes requires studying but that just makes life all the more overwhelming…can you tell i’ve been thinking about this a lot

i’m not going to ramble more about this kdrama considering i already have done so multiple times, but i enjoyed this rewatch and honestly,,,my love for this show has just grown even more. there’s a good reason why people consider this a comfort kdrama, because. i consider myself deeply comforted. also, i’ve been listening to the ost for the whole month. it’s become a problem. but sometimes. sometimes you need to listen to songs that feel like someone’s patting you on the head and telling you don’t give up, set down your burdens, don’t think you’re alone and dream whatever you want to dream, go wherever you want to go. i’ll stop talking now, but god. when i say that i think everyone who has ever felt incredibly tired by work or school and just wished for someone to give them a big hug either then or now...god. this is just one of those kdramas that i think honestly touched so many people’s lives, and i’m very grateful for the cast and crew and writers for ever bringing this story to life. :’) (god, okay, now i’ll stop talking before i make myself cry i’m fine this is fine)

your honor

so, i watched this kdrama thinking that it would be light and funny given that yoon shi yoon is the main male lead, but boy was i wrong--don’t be fooled by these happy little faces, this kdrama is heavy. this kdrama is about a young man (with a criminal record) who winds up impersonating his twin brother, who happens to be a judge. we also have a trainee who, after seeing the legal system fail her older sister, is on the rise to dispense justice through the courts the best she can.

honestly, the first few episodes were rough, mostly because of the content. big trigger warning for rape, violence, and sexual harassment at work. this kdrama really didn’t hold back when it came to addressing how the very people who use the law can also be the very same people who manipulate and abuse it. because of that, i found this kdrama incredibly powerful. that said, it certainly had its lighthearted moments too. 

overall though, i liked this kdrama. the main characters were incredibly complex and genuinely the type to make me believe that for all the injustices in the world, there are still and always will be people fighting for the right thing. as someone who wants to enter the legal field, this kdrama was just uplifting. i was so blown away by the absolute rawness of the main two leads, esp. yoon shi yoon, who i’ve only ever seen in super lighthearted kdramas. so this was a really interesting change of pace, and i genuinely enjoyed watching this!

waiting for love

so this kdrama is just two episodes, and what’s better is that it’s available on youtube! it’s about two college students--a young woman who’s been hurt by falling in love with jerks now just wants to date, not really fall in love...and a young man who’s excellent at giving dating advice except he’s afraid that he’s never going to actually fall in love, so he just dates a girl for the sake of dating.

now, i kinda thought that this show was going to be kinda lighthearted, a little shallow--but it was weirdly...comforting? idk, i found myself liking it a lot more than i thought it would be. this is far from the perfect kdrama, and i kinda wished that we got more than 2 episodes because i think some of the plot points could have been better expanded, but...there were genuinely a lot of scenes that made me think a bit more about what it actually means to be in a loving relationship--like how it’s not enough to just put on a happy smile and eat meals together, but like...you know. there has to be trust and actual liking and also, yeah, maybe a bit of frustration in order to actually know whether a relationship is real or not. and given that the characters were all discussing the pressure on getting married and romance esp. when you’re in your twenties...idk. makes you think about are you dating someone for the sake of appearances? or do you genuinely...like them?

there was also quite a few tropes that i personally adore in this kdrama, which helped balance out the stuff i found more tiring. there was a lot of the “right person, wrong time” stuff going on (you really want the two main leads to get together after a certain point, and you just keep holding your breath whenever they walk past each other and beg please please please let it be this time...), and also that good old “two strangers fall in love with each other purely over writing to each other” (god. first the half of it, then me & au, then greenhouse podcast...something about this trope huh). that said, there were def. some parts that made me “:////” because some of the characters were kind of frustrating, but i’m gonna chalk that up to good writing since i think i was mostly mad about how i knew people like some of the characters lol. overall, i think this might be at least semi-enjoyable--it’s probably not something i’ll watch again, but it def. made me mull over what it means to actually be in a loving relationship, esp. if you’re in your twenties and everyone around you seems to be in happy romantic relationships/getting engaged and whatnot. 

movie: 

columbus 

i’m a firm believer that there are some movies that are meant to cheer you up, some movies meant to make you cry, and then there’s some movies that are just meant to...sit with you. and this movie is definitely one of them. this story follows casey, a high school graduate, and jin, the son of a famous architect. the two of them are both so incredibly exhausted with their lives (casey with her constant worry about her mother, who’s a recovering drug addict; jin with his surface-level lack of concern for his comatose father). in their small town of columbus, indiana, the two of them bond over architecture and just. being quietly there for each other.

this movie’s been compared a few times to lost in translation in the sense that there’s this not quite romance between the two leads, who have a bit of an age gap (john cho and haley lu richardson have about 20 between them!). to be honest, i didn’t really get the sense that there was supposed to be a romance. if anything, it just felt like...two really lonely people finding each other. definitely not a simple friendship--definitely not a familial kind of relationship, definitely intimate. 

idk. i think this movie might not be for everyone--i definitely agree with a lot of past reviewers that this movie is on the slower side. there’s some stuff here about complicated relationships with parents, a lot of cool architecture, really beautiful shots...and overall, it’s just...quiet. it’s lovely, and i can’t really stop thinking about it. it’s subtle, bittersweet, and oddly compelling. might not be the kind of thing you’d want to watch in the middle of the day, but if you’re a little sad and in the mood for something not to necessarily lift your spirits but...at least acknowledge them and sit with you, then...this is the movie to watch. idk. i felt kind of crummy the day i watched this movie, and i felt as though someone just sat next to me on a park bench until the sun went down. (mayhaps specific but hush, i’m writing this right after finishing this movie, so i’m...feeling a certain way.)

wish dragon 

i watched this movie right after watching columbus because a) decided i was in the mood for something lighter, and b) i learned that john cho?? voiced?? the dragon?? (caroline your crush on john cho’s jumping out this month...) 

but anyways! i loved this movie a lot. it was so satisfying? like, just narratively speaking? and the animation was wonderful and also weirdly smooth and satisfying, and there were a lot of funny and touching moments. this movie’s about this young man named din who stumbles upon a magical teapot that holds the wish dragon long--long has to grant din three wishes, and yes, i know, very aladdin, but that said, this movie has so many original twists that it feels weird to call it an aladdin retelling. it really did feel like a movie completely on its own, which i applaud the writer and director for! 

i don’t want to spoil too much of this movie, but something i really enjoyed was that din’s main wish is just to see his old childhood friend again. idk, i think we all have that one friend from when we were really little that we miss--and this movie really dug into that, as well as themes about parents wanting to do the best they can to provide for their kids, and!!! and long the dragon gets his own storyline and amazing character development too!!! i was honestly just amazed at how this movie fleshed out the characters so well and had so many wonderful themes that just made me tear up. guys. this movie’s great. highly recommend for its wonderful characters and the power of friendship. just a grand old time in general. :’))

searching 

yeah...yeah, i wasn’t kidding about my crush on john cho this month. yes, i watched three of his movies within 24 hours. this movie is about david kim who’s looking for his missing 16 year old daughter, margot. this film is honestly noteworthy for many reasons, one of them being that the entire movie is told through like...a laptop screen, as in we kind of follow david’s frantic search through facetime, facebook, tumblr...which i honestly didn’t think i’d be into, but whoo boy, i was wrong. it just added to the whole addictive quality of this movie, as it usually does when it comes to anything from the thriller genre. 

but besides this just being a straight up addictive thriller with absolutely mouth-dropping twists (but like...good twists, and smart twists, good god--), this movie was just...touching? there’s so many themes related to what grief does to a family (because we learn within the first 10 minutes that the mom died due to cancer), and there’s just...something really fragile about relationships between surviving family members. i was absolutely blown away by john cho’s performance as a tentative and grieving widower whose world just absolutely falls apart in his search for his daughter. this movie was just so...real because of that. like, yes, this movie has all of the suspense that you would expect this kind of movie to have, but there was also just...so many beautiful themes about grief and how far parents would go for their kids and godddd yeah no i started sobbing when the movie ended. god. 

also, my bias towards john cho aside, i...really loved his character. david kim is absolutely believable, and like? he’s not just the guy putting the pieces together--he’s also the guy who misses his wife and also the guy who wishes that he was there for his daughter. he’s also the guy who pauses and re-writes all his text messages because he’s trying to be a good dad. i feel like with a lot of these suspense / missing person movies, it’s really easy to have characters who are just the stoic alpha male types--and david kim definitely had his badass moments in this movie, but like...something i just loved was seeing the vulnerability that comes with...having a missing child. being a parent. god. this movie messed me up but in a good way. i can honestly say that this movie is now probably going to be one of my fave movies of all time. highly recommend, am literally obsessed with it.

book:

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

ohohoho………where to begin with this book. this was one of those books where i was like “huh i kinda don’t understand why people are so obsessed with this book”, but then i hit like...page 20 or 30 and was like “oh god i Literally Cannot Put This Book Down Oh No” and wound up finishing it in like three days (mind you, i only read at like...midnight these days. i don’t understand why either). 

i finished this book at like 2 am and promptly burst into tears because this was just one of those books. it follows the story of evelyn hugo, a famous hollywood actress from the 60s or so and onwards. known for her intense beauty and her seven husbands, she’s now giving an exclusive interview to the young reporter monique grant, where she’s about to tell all about her life. this book had me dropping my mouth multiple times, and i think tjr can spin one hell of a story, with so many good twists and turns and intensely memorable characters. by the end of the book, i was actually mad that evelyn hugo wasn’t a real person, because i, too, fell a little in love with her and thought, i want to actually watch her movies. i want to learn even more about this remarkable woman. 

but alas! she’s not real, so i don’t get to see her accept an oscar or look up all the tabloids about her and her seven husbands or her speculated (and very, very, very real) relationship with celia st. john. basically...i just loved this book. the last line made me smile and laugh and cry a little bit (actually...cry a lot), and y’know...i’ll admit it’s not totally perfect, but i’m glad this book exists, and i’m glad that even though tjr isn’t bi herself, was very adamant in this book about bisexuality being real. just. like. god. once again. mad that evelyn hugo isn’t real. it’s fine, she’s real in my heart.

[kitkatopinions]

I'm tired of fantasy world writers being like 'oh, this is my allegory for racism in my fantasy world where actual racism doesn't exist, also I'm going to not do any research on how to properly include said allegory, badly portray it, make my main characters affected by this white or white passing, and then use racist stereotypes later.' Long post full of RWBY criticism ahead.

RWBY is terrible with the Faunus racism they chose to make part of their story. They made the White Fang an evil terrorist group, they made Blake lecture fellow Faunus about how they're the ones actually hurting themselves by using violence against each other, they framed comfortable and peaceful protest as the only good way despite establishing that peaceful protest didn't work, and they made their child slave coded character who literally got branded turn into nothing more than an abusive stalker and then had him killed without ever addressing the aforementioned child slavery. Also, the only Faunus among our main cast now that Sun is gone is one of the most privileged of the Faunus. Blake can pass as a human if she wants to, she grew up fairly rich, she has two loving parents, and she comes from an inherently powerful position as the daughter of the Chief. Having Blake be privileged would be absolutely fine, if she acknowledged her privilege, wasn’t the mouthpiece on Faunus rights, if she wasn’t the only Faunus in our main cast, and if she didn’t repeatedly lecture other Faunus.

On top of that, two of our main cast have been racist (within the narrative of the show) towards our main Faunus character, one of them learns from it (even though that as well was badly handled) and became the only member of Team RWBY to ever call out human's being racist after season three. Oh wait, except the other member of our main cast that was racist that never had it addressed because it was treated like a joke now has yelled at a racist once, in an incredibly tense situation, so I guess her racism is gone. It’s good that it’s gone, since CRWBY is pushing her and Blake as a couple, but it’s frustrating that her racism never even got a ‘that wasn’t funny’ and we never see Yang learn any better, because it feels like CRWBY brushed it off and acted like it was fun and quirky instead of treating it like the casual racism it was. They do a similar thing with Robyn in season seven which came out in 2019, when she calls Marrow ‘Wags.’ Also none of our main cast are ever seen protesting for Faunus rights (sans a two second flashback of child Blake at a rally and a non canon RWBY chibi cartoon.) I don't think Ruby - our main protagonist - has ever even mentioned Faunus rights. In a world where Adam was branded with the SDC logo under fifteen years ago at the most, racism and fighting racism should be a big part of the story, and instead, it's brushed to the side and used for the occasional 'we don't like racism btw' moment now that Blake got rid of a Faunus run terrorist group. To me, this implies that the number one threat to the Faunus… Was the Faunus, and although some humans are still anti-Faunus, no one has to devote their time or energy into fighting for equality. In season 7, Blake doesn’t even attend the rally of the political figure running against Jacques Schnee - who as far as I’m aware, is the only business owner or person in power who has ever displayed anti-Faunus racism in the show. By the way, please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. It’s been a hot minute since I watched through the show.

Instead of attending a rally that seems very important for the Faunus, Blake goes dancing with her crush. It’s like she stopped caring about politics and rights after the White Fang got removed. That feels so bad. Also, I'll note that most of the actual POC Faunus that can't pass as white in this show are on the bad side (Sienna, Fennec, Corsac, Lionheart, Ilia, Marrow.) And either they die, or they must learn to give up their destructive ways and become better people. I’m not saying this was intentional, I’m saying it’s a pattern, it’s alarming, and the writers should’ve known better.

I believe Miles Luna and Kerry Shawcross have admitted that they mishandled Faunus racism, but first off, it still doesn’t excuse them because they were grown people putting out a product that premiered in 2013 and they should’ve known to do research and do better. But second off, I still feel like they haven't done the research they need to and continue to mishandle the racism by ignoring it when they want to and bringing it up only to let us as an audience know Weiss and Yang aren't racist anymore. They can’t just cut the Faunus from their storyline now, but they can’t just ignore it, and need to actually make it a better allegory. Honestly though, one of the big reasons I'm convinced that they still haven't done any real research on how to properly portray POC or racism is because of how terribly they're handling the Ace Ops.

They're writing a fantasy show, they aren't tied to real world portrayals of law enforcement, but they went the route of commentating on real world police, corrupt police, and use of excessive force. That's fine. But things are already pretty dicey just starting off because of how they've mishandled and continue to mishandle Faunus racism. Outside of Jacques Schnee and his company and business partners, I don't remember seeing Faunus racism in Atlas (not Mantle, Atlas.) If I'm wrong about that, again, please correct me, I may have missed it. But without seeing actual discrimination against Faunus within the police force, right off the bat, that's a mishandling of commentating on police brutality. But also, other than Clover who is now dead, the Ace Ops are all people of color. CRWBY made their bad cops all not white. Even Ironwood - who is white passing - is voiced by a person of color who has said he believes that James is Chinese American. I'll point out that being a Hunter is pretty much just being a cop with more freedom and seemingly less rules. Qrow (a Beacon Huntsman) goes around destroying public property and comments on how some hunters work outside of the law, and yet it's only the Ace Ops who are held to real world ACAB rules and everyone else gets to be a good cop/law enforcement officer. Ruby gets to proudly proclaim herself a Huntress, Weiss gets to arrest people, Jaune gets told that he deserves his Huntsman license, we've been getting told for seven seasons that Hunters help people and do what's right, and we're given long time Hunters and mentor figures like Oobleck, Glynda, Qrow, and now Robyn is being framed that way, and they back that up. Even training Atlas soldiers like Neon and Flynt are fine and fun. But only the Ace Ops are bad, corrupt law enforcement officers. So that way, we can have the entirely white passing Team RWBY beat up the entirely POC, not white passing Ace Ops. Even though Team RWBY is a byproduct of the same kind of program and even though we’ve seen the police discriminate against Faunus in Vale. If CRWBY wants their allegories to be taken seriously, they need to recognize that RWBY and co are also certified police. Also, it’s really not funny to see people use ACAB as a reason why the Ace Ops are of course bad, but then turn around and simp for Winter, and be like ‘We want Winter to be redeemed, but Harriet? What a bitch!’ Like… I’m side-eyeing that pretty hard.

Speaking of Winter, now she’s in charge of the Ace Ops. But unlike Marrow, Winter doesn’t just look sad sometimes and blindly only follow direct orders without protest. She’s actually feeling all kinds of things, and she’s actually being framed as strong, intelligent, and reasonable. I’m sure no one forgot this, but I’ll note it anyway; Winter is white. Having Winter be the only Ace Op to actually listen to JRY and do things without James explicitly telling her to (although I don’t consider what she did a betrayal or going behind his back) is dicey. They could’ve given this moment to Harriet and nothing would change. ‘This lady typically follows orders, is short tempered, and pushes down her emotions, but she can still recognize a fairly good idea when she sees one and can actually think for herself, so although this isn’t a betrayal, she compromises and lets Team JRY go after their friend.’ Yeah, idk guys, I feel like there was literally no reason to slot Winter in with the Ace Ops to be the lone voice of reason when Harriet could’ve become the new leader and played the exact same role. Instead, Winter gets to have a power move where she puts Harriet in her place. Winter is given actual depth and gets to put down the black woman who the writers have made display nothing but anger for the whole season. The fans rally behind Winter because she was given depth and hate Harriet because she has none, but that’s the fault of the writers. Btw, ‘this black woman won’t show any emotion besides anger’ is a racist stereotype. It would probably have taken like five minutes on google for Luna and Shawcross to have realized that it was a bad idea to write a black woman in any sort of position of power to be constantly angry + hiding her emotions. Elm is in the same boat as Harriet, and I was going to say it’s less severe, but then I remembered that she literally attacked Ren for talking about their emotions.

Look, my point is that RWBY as a show has never handled allegories like racism and corrupt police well, and either they should stop trying and stick to ‘make believe land is just different than the real world’ or start putting in the work and fix this. By the way, I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad for watching or even enjoying RWBY, but I hope people can watch it while recognizing that some of the things CRWBY has chosen to put into their show are destructive and that the creators need to be called out. I’ll continue to hope that most RWBY fans do recognize that RWBY is deeply flawed, but I’ve just been stewing recently about someone who told me that I shouldn’t have expected the show to address Faunus racism in the Atlas arcs because that ended when Adam died.

I want to make it totally clear that I agree with and support ACAB in the real world and I'm not against it being used in fantasy works, I just think CRWBY is doing a poor job of portraying it and many fans are misusing it and it feels disrespectful. This is an actual real world movement with actual real world consequences. It feels very bad to see people use it to argue that the writers who have never handled allegories of racism well can make an all POC group be a destructive, violent, easily controlled, easily beat group of corrupt cops that need a white woman and fellow cop to be the voice of reason.