#anyway i think that i probably have some kind of mental disorder?

[birdcoats]

does anyone on this god damn site even think about amphibia

[dreadpiratesilas]

Medical File DN-407P Paladin Danse Patient symptoms included inability to sleep and a "dull throbbing pain in head." All standard tests are negative. Evidence suggests post-traumatic stress disorder or similar issue. Until severity of issue increases, recommend voluntary removal from active duty. Patient was informed, but is currently in the field.

Do we know if Knight Captain Cade's terminal entry for Danse was made before or after he set out with Gladius?

I'm guessing he saw Cade before the mission thinking he was just going in for headaches and assumed it was lack of sleep. To his surprise it led to a PTSD diagnosis prompting Cade to recommend Danse take some time off. Danse probably refused to accept the diagnosis and went on the mission anyway, hence the “patient was informed, but is currently in the field”.

Later on during the mission, Haylen would again diagnose Danse with PTSD (although she called it 'Battle Fatigue' in her terminal entry) and would recommend bed rest, which Danse would also refuse.

(The next part is a content warning for suicide ideation)

I think Danse was suicidal. It kind of reminds me of Preston where he describes just not caring what happened to him. Danse wasn't going to take his life with his own hands but instead would just keep doing mission after mission until he was ground down and eventually died in battle.

He actually cares about his squad, though, and his feelings of responsibility towards them kept him from actually doing it.

Tangent

That would actually make Blind Betrayal more climactic and sad because you get to see this arc where he starts to understand that people care about him and he finally gets to enjoy being close to someone just to have his life turned upside down. Only this time he doesn't want to die. He feels like he has to because of duty, which is the exact same excuse he would have used anyway to end his life.

In fact in that context when Maxson confronts the two of you leaving the bunker, pretty much everything he says is basically a huge PTSD trigger.

Tangent: I have a lot of thoughts on Maxson and Danse's relationship in general, but also the face that Maxson had sent Cade a memo telling him to take mental health seriously. Danse was the only one who had any kind of mental illness diagnosed. They decided to wait until his symptoms worsened and let him go on that mission anyway and just marked his case as “treated”. I'll do a separate post about that, though. I've digressed enough.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for threatening to get my best friend sectioned?

This actually happened 2 years ago, but last night he made a joke about it that kind of seemed like he might still be mad at me about it. So. Anyway, ages and all are written as they were at the time.

For context, my (18m) mom took guardianship of my friend (17m), called “J”, after his grandfather passed, a few months before this happened.

Not going into specifics, but J has struggled with OCD and an ED for years, and I suspect when he’s an adult he’ll probably get diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder at some point.

(Update from the Present: no dice… yet.)

A close family friend of his passed away and it caused his mental issues (particularly the ED) to get a lot worse really quickly.

Even thought my mom was technically his guardian, she kind of relied on me to keep tabs on him because he’s usually pretty honest with me compared to other people. Like, if he’s not doing well, I have the best chance of finding that out.

So. His family friend dies, he gets worse, I report all of this back to my mom, who starts trying to get some sort of more intensive treatment lined up for him (difficult and time consuming because of where we lived at the time).

My mom tells me not to tell J, because he “talks a big game” about not wanting treatment or whatever and she firmly believes it’ll be easier if he doesn’t have time to stress himself out about it before it happens. Okay. So I don’t tell J.

Somehow, he finds out anyway, and also finds out that I knew and had chosen not to tell him, but doesn’t tell me that he knows. (Convoluted, I know, sorry.)

I pick J up from an after school thing one night, we end up talking about pretty heavy shit in the car for a /long/ time, and after the conversation died, he put a hand on my shoulder, leaned over, and kissed me. And like not a short kiss either. It was like a 3 to 4 second kiss.

Context again, I realized I was gay and that I liked J in a not particularly friend-like way when I was 13. I never told him and never planned on telling him. I told him a lot of things but I intended on growing old and dying with that one kept nice and secret. Even if he was some form of not-straight, which I was 99.99% sure he wasn’t, I didn’t think it was worth jeopardizing my closest friendship with romantic and/or sexual feelings that could at best confuse him or make him uncomfortable or at worst outright disgust him.

Anyway. We don’t talk about it, I end up going to stay for a few days with a guy (20m but not really relevant) I’d been sort of seeing/sleeping with for a couple months because I literally couldn’t be in the same house as J or I would probably implode.

Fast forward a week, I’m picking J up from a hospital 2 towns over because he ran away (? unclear really, haven’t discussed the particulars w him and I wasn’t staying at home at the time) and ended up having to go to the ER.

In the car (best time to talk to someone because they can’t run away), he apologizes for kissing me. I’m thrown off by that, because he hadn’t said anything up to this point and it honestly wasn’t even in the top 5 things I was thinking about.

I asked him why he did it and he just sighed and explained in this tone of voice that, I don’t know how to explain it, but had just the right lack of empathy or affect that I knew he was being 110% honest.

Condensed version: he found out I was reporting everything he told me to my mom (still don’t know how). He was pissed. He was aware he needed more intensive treatment, and he knew my mom was aware. He did not want treatment. He knew I had liked him for years. He knew that I was relatively fragile about it. He knew that if he did something (like kiss me for example) there was a good chance it would break my brain and I would freak out.

He essentially kissed me to decommission me for a few days so he could formulate a plan to run away.

FINALLY we have arrived at the AITA part.

After hearing all this, I tried very hard to come up with something rational to say, but ended up saying (essentially), “You’re fucking insane, and I’m telling my mother you need to be committed.”

I know I wasn’t wrong to be angry. But I also know from past knowledge and experiences that he had a deep fear of being deemed “insane” or unfixable or whatever, and also that he was really afraid of treatment in general.

Idk. I go back and forth on whether or not I was out of line, or needlessly escalating the situation, by threatening him. It was a much bigger threat in his mind than it was in mine, and so even though I know I said it as a reaction to a fucked up situation, there’s still the idea that I blew it completely out of proportion and weaponized his own mental issues against him.

So AITA for threatening my best friend by telling him I was going to get him committed to a long term psychiatric hospital?

What are these acronyms?

[max1461]

Ok, I'm really trying to understand if the following is psychological or neurological, and I need someone to help me with this. It is a symptom I've had since the seizures started, but it doesn't quite line up with anything I've heard about temporal lobe epilepsy so either it's purely psychological or I've got something else neurological going on. I've talked to doctors but they are sort of dismissive of this symptom, even though it's the one bothering me the most.

I talked about this before, but I feel like I've lost people's mental "profile pictures" in my head. Like, I still have all my memories and feelings about those people, but they aren't "attached to" anyone or anything. They feel disjointed and connected to nothing. It's hard to explain but I hope that makes sense.

With most people, this is transient. Their profile pictures get fuzzy around the time I've having a seizure (this is, I gather, the jamais vu) but then come back together later. But for one specific person, well, it feels like their profile picture is just gone, all my memories and feelings about them are just free floating and have been for over a month now. Sometimes they come up at random and then disappear just as quickly, as if they're uh... you know how some days, you just feel a little anxious but it's not about anything in particular? Well it's like that, but not for anxiety. Some moments I just feel these feelings, disconnected from anything, but factually I know they're about this person. Factually it's obvious, you know, they're feelings from some memory I have with this person, or whatever. But subjectively they just feel random, and then they pass, and it makes me feel very empty. Like every time it happens I'm losing this person in my own head, I've lost them and can't find where they are.

And when I think about my relationship with this person. Well, factually I know that I have one and I known what it involves, I know that we are friends, etc. etc. But subjectively it feels like they don't exist. Like they're from a dream or something.

This has been going on for over a month without improvement, it's just the same, and like I said this is a friend of mine that I was very close to but who I don't get a chance to talk to much anymore. So it's like, I don't know. It's extremely upsetting, what's going on.

Now the other part of this is, right, remember how this started. I started having seizures due to a bad reaction (technically an overdose, I guess) of local anesthesia. Well, I have a fear of drugs and anesthesia and that kind of thing, I have anxiety around them. And I was thinking about this person as they were anesthetizing me, and then (because of my anxiety) I started to think "oh no, if I'm thinking about this person maybe the anesthesia will make me forget them by disrupting my neural pathways!" and so I tried really hard in that moment not to think about them, to totally put them out of my mind.

Now this is a fairly typical kind of OCD thing to do, I mean, the thing is I don't always manage my OCD perfectly but I know it when I see it, and if I have an anxiety freak out due to OCD I usually expect it to amount to absolutely nothing later. So, naturally I expected the same of this.

Ironically, of course, exactly what I was worried about happened. But I'm not sure if it's neurological or psychological. Maybe I freaked myself out so much that I scrambled my own memories? Maybe I put the memory out of my mind, and then (because my temporal lobe got messed up by the seizures anyway) I was unable to retrieve it again?

I mean, I know that I received some kind of brain damage because, well, the doctor said so. He said he thinks probably the anesthetic (sceptocaine) got intravenous somehow, and fucked with my temporal lobe, and that aggravated a pre-existing seizure disorder from "unnoticeably minor" to "very noticeable". Uh. On the other hand an MRI showed nothing, on the other other hand it usually shows nothing with seizure disorders so that's not surprising, and obviously the EEG showed I was having seizures so there you go.

Anyway, the point is basically that I'm trying to sort out which of my problems are neurological and which are psychological. Actually that's not the point I just want to remember my friend again. But if it's a neuro- vs. a psycho- problem, the path to doing that is presumably different.

Can anybody help me out?

Probably not but I'm not sure what to do.

[coolwhipdinosaur]

i am pretty big in profic spaces but i cant go into the tags now without heavy filtering because of all this pro para things.

i understand that simply being a pedophile isnt harmful in itself, its being a predator that is harmful,

yet i come to proship for fiction and propara is not that.

Its talking about real life attraction, often to beings that cannot consent. I hope you understand that arguements like that.

Ive also seen far too many pro-c, and blogs where its apparently real minors solicting real adults (Reporting them gets them taken down thankfully), that it needs to be talked about besides "not everyone is like that."

Even with anti-c, you shouldn't even need to SAY that you are anti c because it should be ASSUMED yet I guess because the amount of pro c, it cant be.

I hope you can see how antic can be used as a lie for predators to gain trust also. Its like 101 not to trust people on the internet yknow

I hope this is understandable and reasonable, not looking for a fight just a chat

This is probably gonna be a bit jumbled but I'm gonna try and respond as coherently as I can. Also I say this at the end but anyone who has been in the proship space on Tumblr for a while please do give your own answers if possible too. I've only had this account for a few months so I haven't seen too much drama go down. There is a kind of tldr at the end of this

So 1. Your first point about not being able to go to these tags without filtering. You do have to curate your own experience at the end of the day. It's how the internet works. People will post things in places and you just have to learn to block and move on. I've been triggered a few times scrolling and have had to quickly block. But that's just how it is. It sucks sometimes but people will post what they want where they want

2. Profiction + proship are inherently discourse tags. You will find discourse everywhere as that is their main purpose anymore. And since a lot of paras use fiction to cope with their disorders, it's bound to come up in a discourse-centric tag. And thoughtcrimes aren't real. What someone says they think about doesn't matter as long as they don't act on it. As long as posts are tagged properly for discussion, at that point you just need to block the appropriate tags. Shame on anyone you find not tagging things right, but most tend to as far as I've seen at least

3. I've personally not seen many pro-c in the proship tag. Maybe one or two I've seen. Either way, I have seen many callouts about people who call themselves proship who then have become predators more than I've ever seen anyone say they're pro-c in the tags. So if those callouts aren't enough, then please say what more there is to do to expose these people. And of course we say we're not all like that because antis love to use one bad person as a gotcha moment, it's not about just putting it there performatively.

And also I do want to know what tag you are finding these on mostly since I've never seen much. I mean, I only browse the proship tag so I may be missing some in other tags. To anyone seeing this do comment/reblog the places you've seen pro-c accounts in tags because I am curious where they're at. I know those accs exist but where? Am I just really blind? I do miss tags sometimes

4. I think most uses of anti-contact boil down to most people assuming para = predator more than pro-c accounts being everywhere. That's just how I've mostly seen it. That's why I put it there anyway.

If i missed any point I apologize. I think I gor most of them?

[TLDR-esc section]

So a summary, it's normal if these discussions are uncomfortable, but you can't censor people from talking about it in spaces where they are put into a tough place most times. Afterall, proship = anti-censorship. Blocking tags for your own mental wellbeing is very good and I highly recommend it.

If you think the callouts people make when they do find predators in these places aren't enough or don't happen as much as they should, then what can be changed?

I hope this is coherent and as unargumentive as I could get it (just got off a 10 hr shift). Anyone else feel free to respond as well. I'm not that old in this community so I don't have as much experience as some of yall do for some of these things so insight is appreciated

[angelosearch]

Okay fam, how do we think Raine died? And please let me know if it's been word-of-god'ed somewhere. I don't think I've ever seen it.

I have a thought. I wouldn't even call it a theory because I have virtually no evidence to support it. It's more like... what I would find interesting.

I'm overthinking a 25-year-old videogame again...

Lil bit of a trigger warning here... Mention of some severe impacts of mental illness.

Honestly, I hate the "died in childbirth" thing. It's just... vague. Uninteresting. I don't know, kind of lazy. Okay, maybe she did die as a side effect of having Squall, but how? There's more than one way to die in childbirth.

And I am not saying dying in childbirth is unrealistic--it definitely is realistic, unfortunately--but I kind of hate how introducing a pregnant character and then killing them is always joined with the (again VERY BROAD) concept of "dying in childbirth."

Maybe it's just because I'm a Star Wars fan and Padme's death ruined me for "died in childbirth" as a suitable end for a pregnant character. I also just get annoyed in general how frequently pregnancy and childbirth in sci-fi/fantasy media is seen as something alien or bad or the end of a character. There's so many episodes where pregnancy is used as a parasitic plot point. I could go on.

And how often a mother is just killed off with "died in childbirth" off screen... It's just lazy! It's like saying a guy died because he "went off to war." Is it realistic? Sure. But specifics, backstory, please!!

But like!! These women have already done the incredible act of carrying a child, sometimes through war zones and major stressors, or, in Raine's case, while completely alone and waiting for her husband to come back from saving her adoptive daughter. If she "had" to die (at least in the eyes of the writers) immediately after Squall is born, I want her to have a death more specific to her character and more interesting overall! Also, it would be nice if she had SOME time with our little baby Squall, no matter the circumstances... Now, the way I think about Raine's death isn't exactly a nice way to die (if there is a such thing), but I think it would be enough to lock her ghost in Winhill. And, again, I think it gives her plot a realism that I want it to have.

Here is where I launch into some pretty reaching headcanons so... buckle up.

So Squall, we can all agree, exhibits signs of depression. He's able to push through it, because lots of us depressed people adapt to do that, but he definitely does. From what I know about therapy and psychology, I'd also say he has C-PTSD but that's another story.

But I'd like to propose that Squall is not just depressed, but potentially even bipolar.

Now, the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for bipolar disorder requires at least one manic episode followed by a depressive episode or hypomania. I don't believe Squall has ever experienced mania... But the thing about bipolar disorder is that a lot of times, it presents as depression until it isn't anymore. And for some individuals, that moment doesn't come until their late 20s or older. Hell, treating depression is sometimes what reveals the underlying disorder: Sometimes SSRIs trigger mania in bipolar patients.

I could see him experiencing hypomania, though. Accidentally training for 12 hours straight, racing thoughts, extreme agitation.

What we do see in the game is risk-taking behaviors, racing thoughts, anxiety, disregulated mood, feelings of worthlessness, difficulty sleeping, isolation... These are symptoms of C-PTSD, but ALSO bipolar disorder.

(which, his history of trauma makes him more vulnerable to bipolar disorder as well)

I will admit, I hc Squall this way because I see myself in him, and I was a high-functioning depressed person who had my first manic episode in my late 20s. But what I figure is, while he was probably never written to be bipolar, there's nothing in the game that completely refutes it.

ANYWAY, bipolar disorder is hereditary. It's not only hereditary, but it plays a part.

So here we go, this is the end I have in mind for Raine, and it's not a happy end, but I think it's realistic and I think it's worth representing in media. Trigger warning.

I think Raine was bipolar. We don't see enough of her in the game to know, but if Squall is (in my head) she might be too. I think she had a complicated pregnancy and that Ellone being kidnapped and Laguna leaving (reasonably) put her under a lot of stress. Any symptoms she had under control with medication/therapy/etc. probably flared. Who knows if she had her same access to resources, seeing that Laguna was gone.

I think, maybe, she suffered from postpartum psychosis. She might have had a few good days, weeks with Squall until things got bad. It would have been terrifying for her, and the people of Winhill, the delusions, the hallucinations. I can't imagine there is a doctor in Winhill that can help with that. And maybe, one of those hallucinations led her to her end.

Such a terrible death likely would have traumatized the people of Winhill, who we know cared deeply about her. Maybe they sent Ellone away so she'd never know; maybe they sent Squall away because he was too much of a reminder.

Thus ends my very sad Raine's death head canon.

My next long project may involve tackling this kind of stuff. I love writing/researching mental health!!

[boneyardbob]

Whoops I said I’d post this like three days ago my bad. Head canons for the masks in Marble Hornets! I may post a bunch of shorter stuff that are general headcanons soon. Also if you want more details on this lmk I’d love to dive deeper @forgottenporkbun @monszsterz

Here's my headcanons for the masks. Honestly I could go on like a huge, rambling essay about why I think these things, my inspo for these ideas, down to the details of what they feel like and how they work but Imma try and keep this short. I plan to put all that other stuff in my fics anyway and if you're reading this you'll probably wanna read my MH fics so you'll figure it out eventually. The idea that Tim and Brian made their mask with stuff from Hobby Lobby is REALLY funny but I have to stick with the idea the masks are gifts from The Operator (TO). Tim got his in college because if he was given it at any point while in the hospital, it would probably be found and taken away. TO waited until Tim was free before gifting it. Its when their "relationship" begun. TO switched from this unfamiliar, constantly looming monster into this warped guardian angel. This is obviously very fleeting because by the time Jay runs into Tim in MH, he's forgotten this entirely, or repressed it, and is back to viewing TO how he did his entire childhood.

During the tail end of college, while filming Alex's project, is when this Masked Era began and it ended for an unknown reason a quarter of the way into MH. My timeline isn't great but roughly that's the situation we're talking about. This is when we get all those videos of Masky and Hoody stalking Jay and Alex. I don't think I could fully call Tim and TO's relationship that of worship but that's the closest I can get. Tim knew what he was dealing with was some kind of unimaginable creature, but it could feel human emotions FOR HIM. At least if he listened. If Tim did what TO wanted, then in return he got benefits. At some point he understood TO needed him-either to keep living or to stay grounded to earth, and things got a little extra toxic. I imagine its a LOT like the Fears and their respective Avatars in TMA. I use you to get food, I give you powers that make it easier for you to get food, win win.

These benefits were really only accessed when wearing his mask. The more he wore it and the more work he put in for TO, the better things got. At the very least it instantly cleared up his lungs so he could breathe easily, he no longer suffered from migraines, he didn't have any hallucinations that weren't purposeful messages from TO, and most debilitating affects from mental disorders were gone so he wouldn't feel depressed or anxious. Fuck if I had a magical mask that made me neurotypical and took away my chronic illness I'd kill people in the woods too/j. More benefits were added on with time like growing stronger, healing faster, its kinda giving the vampires from Twilight ngl. My RP partner and I make a LOT of Twilight vampire jokes about them. It also spiraled Tim into a euphoric mania, giving him the energy and desire to sprint around the woods all hours of the night. This was an addictive sensation that had him craving his mask. He had to share it with someone.

His closest (and really only) friend at the time was Brian so he opened up to him about it and eventually got him involved. Because of Tim's medication and natural resilience to TO he eventually got OUT of this cult-like situation but Brian couldn't. He got to the point he was constantly under that mask and if he took it off for long enough, he'd probably suffocate and die. This explains why he ends up homeless, constantly in his mask state, and seems to have uncanny abilities. He just disappears into thin air, he seems to be doing physically GREAT despite living on a mattress in the woods with no source of food or money, and we only ever hear him cough. That ties back into my idea their vocal cords melt due to the TO disease. He can take the mask off for short bits of time. Its not like an astronauts helmet, more so an oxygen tank while hiking a tall mountain.

[wsknbfanaccnt]

Can you do the mental health one for Hanamiya? 👉👈

OKAY NORMALLY I WOULD REFUSE BECAUSE I ONLY DO REQUESTS FOR THE GOM+KAGAMI

but honestly this was so interesting to think about I can't resist so here we go

Hanamiya Mental Disorder

TW!!: mentions of sadism, self harm, mental illness, substance abuse

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) + Sociopathy

though Hanamiya is a little bitch, I can't imagine that he doesn't struggle with his disorder sometimes

I don't mean that he is a straight up sociopath either, it's more like ASPD with traces of sociopathy

so I say this because the one big trait of his is doing everything for his enjoyment regardless of how it might affect others

it's not clear if he does this outside of basketball, but I know for a fact that he's not a complete asshole

like for example he wouldn't kick a baby just for the fun of it

but he does have sadistic tendencies

not necessarily sexual either (tho he probably is like that in bed anyways) but just something about seeing pure despair in someone just lights a fire in him

I say Sociopathy because despite everything, he's incredibly intelligent and charming

that's the thing, he can be charming if he wants to and he's fucking amazing at it

when something doesn't go his way, he's the type to blame others for it, manipulating the truth and gaslighting everyone

and unfortunately he's also good at it, and people will believe him

he definitely will also get violent if he isn't satisfied with something, he'd probably pick a fight/hurt others or throw shit around and destroy his surroundings

but sometimes that isn't enough

I think he definitely self harms because of that, he needs to be satisfied one way or another and if he can't get that by being violent to others, he'll do it to himself

but he does so out of anger, and he rarely does it

discovered marijuana after high school and became addicted

it's not clear in the anime, but I think Hanamiya and Imayoshi would get along the most (despite Hanamiya hating Imayoshi lmfao)

they just relate to each other in ways that others dont

so in turn it's a weird friendship

even if Imayoshi is a bitch, Hanamiya had always found some comfort in Imayoshi's presence

tho he's never vulnerable with anyone, there's just a silent mutual understanding between the two

it's not a deep understanding, but they just get it ykwim?

he struggles with in the way that he has kind of a weird perception of himself, knowing that he is a genius but also trying to prove it to himself and others

the amount of manipulation he does would lead to some amounts of paranoia, needing to be in control of the situation 24/7

I honestly am not too sure if he would necessarily "struggle" with making connections since that would kinda require him wanting to make connections

but he does struggle in the sense that he can't empathize with people and he's blunt, always taking the easy way out since he doesn't care about others

since he deems himself superior to others, he has a fragile sense of self and crumbles if he feels out of control

occasionally experiences derealization

[gothibara]

Hii

I have no idea if you're still into Ibara, BUT if you are I've got a question: In a few of your posts you mentioned Ibara being OCD. This idea is very very interesting to me, and was wondering why you think that? And perhaps if there's any other headcannons you might have?

Looking at Ibara's general personality, there seems to be something up with her. I'm interested to hear your conclusions on this. (Again this is only if you want too! There's no pressure of course! I just think you have great thoughts on Ibara and would like to hear your take. /gen)

i am still very deeply invested in ibara! sorry for the very late response ive been dealing with med issues and my hypersomnia had my ass in a grip

Anyway, onto the ask-- keep in mind I am not a psychiatrist I am just a guy with OCD and none of this information should be used to come to conclusions about real world people. but

OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by compulsive behaviors performed in an attempt to alleviate the distress caused by repeated intrusive obsessions. These obsessions are often irrational, and the compulsion may or may not really be a "solution" to the stressor. (In fact, it usually isn't).

Obsessions are typically classified into "themes"-- the kind that most people are familiar with, mysophobia, is referred to as "Contamination subtype", but most people deal with multiple types and the prominence of these types can change across a person's lifetime or even day to day.

One of the kinds that's lesser known but probably more common than we think is "Scrupulosity" OCD, which is then sorta subdivided into "religious scrupulosity" and "moral scrupulosity"-- for the purposes of talking about Ibara, we're going to consider them the same thing because her morals and spirituality are inherently connected.

(^worlds cutest sweetest little plantimal ever)

now-- let's not get it twisted, being religious, performing religious ritual (as opposed to "ritual" in the ocd sense, which is what compulsions are often referred to), having superstitions, etc are not signs of OCD. Many people with OCD have no spiritual affiliation at all, and there's nothing wrong with believing strongly in things that aren't "rational". Scrupulosity/Religious OCD (which i'm calling ROCD from here on out just for ease) takes up an amount of time that is detrimental to the life of the haver (both mentally and physically), induces extreme distress, impede daily function and personal relationships, and often deviates from actual religious doctrine. Which is a good segue, actually, because

Ibara's religiosity really doesn't track with specific doctrine for....anyone.

Obviously we need to discard some of the more Doyleist explanations for Ibara and her behavior-- for example, Horikoshi probably isn't super familiar with Christianity, because Japan isn't a Christian-majority country-- so please suspend disbelief and let me cook teehee but

Ibara's expressions of spirituality very rarely pierce beyond "nebulously Christian"; I don't think she's ever even explicitly referred to as Christian, simply "spiritual" or "religious". She never refers to Earthly authorities of the church (priests, pastors, the pope, patriarchs) or church itself, doesn't even refer to Jesus by name (although she does mention bread being the body of the Lord), nor does she mention any specific books like the Bible (although she does reference bible stories, such as with her move "Fig Tree"). Furthermore, her values, while Christian-aligned, don't necessarily follow the pattern of zealousness you'd see in real life. "Truth" is the main pillar of her faith, and while it's certainly a Christian principle, it's not really one I'd say the Bible pushes more than ones like "love" or "charity".

I did a lot of research into Christianity in Japan when i first started really exploring Ibara's character, and it does syncretise with Buddhism and Shintoism, especially in the older kakure strain. Truth is a main principle of Buddhism-- and we know Ibara is some kind of animist, because in School Briefs 4 she mentions praying to nature spirits. But even if we take the incredibly niche Kakure angle into account, Ibara's approach to religion still sorta seems like she's just kind of cooking up her own specific soup of values and structure. It has a basis, but it doesn't seem like she's following the beat of anyone else's drum.

anyways. we've established ibara has a very uniquely ibara type of spirituality, we can examine the other big elements; compulsive behavior, frequency & intensity, and functional impairment.

We see Ibara praying a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Obsessive, repetitive prayer is a pretty common ritual for ROCD. And that's not counting any possible internal/mental praying, which still is regarded as compulsive behavior as far as OCD is concerned. More concerningly, we also see Ibara jump very quickly to punishment in both theory and practice (for example, saying that she and Shishida ought to be lashed, or a gag in BNHA smash where she crucifies herself). It's very important to note that Ibara's standards do not just apply to other people-- she's not a zealot enforcer trying to push everyone else to live the way she does. And while she does make judgemental comments about others (saying Kuroiro needs to reexamine himself, calling shoppers fighting over coats in BNHA TUM greedy), none of these compare to the way Ibara acts when it comes to things that would reflect on her own morality.

sheppard-pratt identifies the core of OCD as;

"It can be argued that many forms of OCD come down to a fear that lack of vigilance could lead to a loss of identity. One with Harm OCD may worry that failure to catch that one impulse could lead to spontaneous discovery that he/she is a violent or harmful person. [...] Nowhere is this identity over-protection clearer than in the case of moral scrupulosity."

Lets look at one of Ibara's most well-known moments-- interrupting Present Mic during the Sports Fest to correct the comment he made calling her "Class B's Assassin". Most people understand he was joking, and most people wouldn't consider that sort of thing important enough to interrupt the announcer of an event over, but for Ibara, leaving it unaddressed could mean allowing for other people to view her in that light, which is now an attack on her sense of self.

Apologizing to Gigantomachia, like in the panel I shared above, is an act of self-soothing that "proves" she's a good person, because she cannot not participate in the plan to ambush him, because to not participate would mean people might die and she knows that. And we can reasonably glean this is a source of anxiety for her-- because we see things like her crying and fainting (in the anime) in the JTA after falling for Shinsou's trap, and in the OVA we see her faint when the game escalates into fighting where people get injured, and at the sports fest we see her immediately associate failure with having taken Mineta's headband in a "sneaky" way. Ibara seems pretty placid most of the time, but these spikes in distress caused by these momentary "slips of vigilance" are enough to evoke incredibly strong emotional reactions, even to the point of fainting. It's 0-100, off or on, black/white thinking.

And this impedes things like schoolwork (not wanting to use strategies at the JTA), school life (spending days praying in the woods in order to prepare for the school play), her relationships with others (inflexibility in thought, interrupting present mic, making judgemental comments about others, acting potentially violently towards others), and her own physical well-being (stress, fainting and risk of injury, intentional self injury as atonement). Ergo, you can argue she shows all of the signs of OCD; an obsession (ROCD) with intrusive thoughts (excessive concerns/fixations on sins and wrongdoing) that leads to compulsive repeated behaviors (prayers, reassurance-seeking, enforcement, self injury) that has a marked impact and presence in daily life.

also i think shes autistic. this one i dont really have a ton to pull from but she's very B&W thinking, doesnt emote a ton (even looking unenthusiastic in the christmas art by horikoshi or on the cards for bnha smash tap), fixates on certain topics, and exhibits social behaviors such as odd speech (uses the pronoun "waga", which is incredibly archaic and formal, speaks largely in religious metaphor and doesnt seem to understand that other people dont get it (see: school briefs 5 hotpot of darkness chapter) and does so even in private (jta, "a lost lamb descends from the heavens") ), an unfamiliarity with games like baseball (ova), has miscommunications during the conversation about crushes/love because shes talking about love in terms of compassion (school briefs 2), her favorite food is one thats pretty simple, has a simple texture, and easy to find made consistently (bread), is described as "straightforward and aboveboard" (horikoshi on her sheet), jeanist when talking about her costume in the ultra analysis book says ranks it high in ingenuity because it "tells the world of her upright nature" and he "expects consistency from this one", has meltdowns (fainting when overwhelmed)... im sure i could find more but this is long enough HAHA

[musical-chick-13]

Please, can you tell me more about headcanons you have of River?

OOOOOOH, YES, THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!! 😊😊

My biggest one (and probably like. the least Common™ a;sldkfaj;sldfk) is that River has pure-o OCD. Which, for anyone who doesn't know, is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder where the compulsions, rather than something like handwashing or pacing or saying stuff out loud, are all internal. They are purely things you do in your mind. This can take...many forms. Such as "reviewing" situations or your emotions or thoughts to make sure you aren't Thinking Bad Ideas or Accidentally Did Something Harmful, it can be repeating stuff to yourself mentally, it can be obsessively thinking about a particular thing to ward off Horrible Outcomes, or. an infinite number of behaviors. (For more info, you can check out this blog!)

ANYWAY. River's obsession with Hiding The Damage™ (<-her words not mine), because if she doesn't, she will Ruin Her Relationship. The way she recurrently refers to herself as a bad or heartless person, despite helping to save people/the world with no objection (suggesting this "I'm an unscrupulous person" is something she has to keep telling herself internally, probably by looking inaccurately at her previous behavior and circumstances). The implication that she keeps (successfully) convincing herself that the man she loves doesn't actually Love Her Back (no, I don't think this was something that was just shoehorned in during the Christmas special, maybe I'll make a Full Post about that someday) so she can protect herself and not Wreck Things.

And the way she kind of like...frequently sees the Most Extreme Option is the right way to solve things? (She breaks her wrist to get away from a Weeping Angel and then tries to pretend she's fine???? because The Future?????? She gives up all her regenerations to save The Doctor in Berlin. She worries about the state of the world (and her own emotional fortitude) so much when she thinks she has to kill the Doctor that she stops time and gathers millions of people to plead with him to save himself. And she impulsively, immediately breaks out of jail and suggests throwing herself into a Time Void and targets a Dalek when she thinks he's in danger. Not that these are...compulsions, per se, but this kind of black-and-white thinking (of, there are no middle-ground options, I have to do the absolute MOST I can do RIGHT NOW) is...very common among people who suffer from OCD. Couple that with the fact that she canonically Holds Things In despite worrying about a whole bunch of stuff...yeah.

(...Tbh, I think you could even make the case that doing things like "testing whether he'll rescue her"--jumping off a building when she doesn't need to, sending him coordinates when her plan is Fly Out Of An Airlock so he intercepts her, pretending to be unconscious so he'll inspect her--are some external compulsions. In the sense that she can "prove" to herself that she is worthy of love/care. Which is compounded by how she finds her parents in her adolescent years so she can grow up alongside them, since they can't like. Actually raise her. Doing the most extreme things to hang onto the reassurance of love, etc. etc. Yeah, she has a skewed view of human emotion due to being Bred As A Weapon™, but I think there's definitely room to interpret that as being complicated and intensified by something else.)

GOD that was so long, I'm so sorry. Some other headcanons I have are as follows: she likes sweets a lot. She loves contemporary (or...contemporary to us, at least--she's from the 51st century not the 21st) opera and classical music. (<-Yes, this one is purely self-indulgent.) She's a big Shakespeare fan. She has a favorite pair of super-fuzzy green pajamas that she thinks make her look stupid, but they're so comfy. She takes very hot showers because it helps her Feel Something. One of her favorite pastimes is playing strategy games (both electronic ones or board games), but she absolutely hates chess. Also, she not-infrequently commits petty theft to procure random gifts for her parents and husband. Or for gift exchanges for the Christmas parties she's forced to go to for work at Luna University.

And, lastly, she would have become an archaeologist and/or a professor anyway even if she'd never met the Doctor (this one seems to be...a little contentious). Mainly because she. Doesn't like people telling her what to do. I'm fully convinced that she would have broken away from the Silence on her own eventually, even if it might have taken longer than it did in canon. And she is a very intelligent, analytical person, and she seems to revel in historical knowledge and Finding Cool Objects, which...archeology was always going to be the perfect career for her.

[deceptive-daydreams]

Eddie x reader with bad eating habits

TW - mentions of issues with eating, bad eating habits, depictions of an eating disorder

Masterlist

Anytime you go out to get something to eat with Eddie whether it be at a little place where you sit down or at a drive thru, you end up saying something like “I probably shouldn’t get this but it sounds so good…” alluding to something on the menu that’s probably got more bread and carbs. There’s some guilt in your tone and you’re kinda avoiding eye contact and kicking yourself for even saying anything because you’re embarrassed that you want something so heavy. You get super self conscious, curling in on yourself while looking at the other girls who are around, they could all pull Eddie if they wanted to.

When you glance back up at Eddie his face is twisted in frustration and you’re thinking that he’s figured out that he can pull girls that are slimmer than you, fitter. “Why the hell not? If that’s what you want then order it.” He sounds mad but not at you. You’re still acting all shy and looking down at your lap ashamed. “Cause I don’t need it.” You would simply tell him. He just scoffs and grabs your hand in his. “What do you mean you don’t need it, baby?” His demeanor would shift to something very soft and understanding. Your eyes would start to become wet and you’d be having so much anxiety all of the sudden. He’d pick up on this and then have both of your hands in his, watching you carefully so he can calculate what to say next.

“Hey, hey, didn’t mean to upset you, okay?” His voice is just above a whisper. “I just want you to know that you can eat whatever you want. I don’t know who told you otherwise but you’re safe with me, okay? Always.” You’d start crying anyway at his words and he’s mentally like oh god I said something wrong. That is until you mumble a thank you through your tears. He’d sigh, knowing you must have grown up being told things no one should ever have to hear.

He starts paying more attention to your eating habits, realizing that you won’t eat in the mornings or afternoons, only in the evenings. When you do eat it’s small portions of the actual meal in front of you. He always offers to make you something when he’s around or offers to take you out to get something but you tell him you don’t have an appetite. And it’s true, you’ve trained your body to not eat all day so you’re used to it. You both go out with the group for Steve’s birthday dinner and he sees you eyeing a burger on the menu but when he asks what you’re thinking about getting you tell him some kind of small appetizer. He knows you don’t want to order the burger because you’ve got it in your mind that everyone will be looking at you, judging you for your choice. It’s far from the truth but you can’t stop those thoughts.

An idea pops into his head and when the waiter comes around to take everyone’s order, you order your pathetic appetizer that won’t actually do much for you. He orders and then adds on “Also, can I get the burger?” And he orders it cooked just how you like. Nobody bats an eye at him ordering two entrees. Once the food comes he sets the burger in between the two of you and whispers “split this with me?” Cause he knows that you won’t eat the whole thing, half at most if you did end up ordering it for yourself. He’s just trying to help take the pressure off so you will actually eat more. It ends up being a little feast, he’s giving you some of his actual entree he ordered, you’re sharing your appetizer with him, the burger is split in half and you each take some fries. He’s now learning that if there is someone to share the food with, you become a lot less tense and actually end up eating a little bit more. He figures that you feel less alone and that’s okay with him. He’ll share every meal with you if he has to.

~end~

Masterlist

[ikamigami]

I've always personally interpreted Sun as the kind of person who blames themselves for everything, like yes July 16th was one of if not the worst day of his life and the cause of a lot of trauma, but it definitely wasn't the only day, and to me he comes off as the kind of person who would blame themselves for other's terrible actions, I bet that every time he woke up after Moon had his turn and he found another mangled body, his own covered in blood, he blamed himself, for not being able to talk Moon out of killing, of not being strong enough to fight back against Moon to prevent this from happening, it probably didn't help that parents and technicians probably blamed him too, either because they didn't know Moon was a separate person or blamed Sun for not being strong enough to hold Moon back, I seriously wonder if he feels at least partially responsible for every innocent person Moon and later Bloodmoon has ever killed, those barrels of body parts in that one basement, if he believes he wasn't persuasive enough to talk them down or strong enough to stop them, even though it should've never been Sun's responsibility to keep Moon and Bloodmoon sane, and maybe he also blames himself for his own suffering, that if he had done something different, Moon wouldn't hit him, or call him stupid, or push him away and keep him in the dark, and when Eclipse took control, maybe he blamed himself every time Eclipse suppressed him long enough to do serious damage, or that somehow Eclipse showing up was a reflection of his own "evil", and then him not being powerless when Lunar showed up and was hurting Moon, and that's just the start, Moon getting killed and Sun failing to fix it, Nexus's fall and not feeling like he was enough to stop Nexus from turning, and so many other things, how could you not feel powerless, like your efforts mean nothing, that you aren't enough to save anyone, with all this? And its not because he's self-absorbed or something dumb like that, but because he genuinely believe his failures got people killed, and when you have a life like this surrounded by so much death, where your efforts feel meaningless because people die anyway, you might believe it really is your fault even if you didn't hurt anybody, and on top of that the constant insults and gaslighting, Moon and Eclipse blamed Sun for July 16th, demonized him for having angry thoughts even though everyone has angry thoughts, we saw this with the interview where Moon believed Eclipse's words saying Sun killed the agent even though we all heard Eclipse take control in that moment, Eclipse especially preyed on the idea that Sun is secretly a bad person to toy with him, that's part of why Sun has such issues processing his anger now, so I agree, I think he blames himself for it all, and it's such an ingrained part of him because this state of constant peril and powerlessness has been there ever since he was born, and July 16th, while awful, was just the tip of this ever-growing iceberg

Thank you so much, dear anon 💗🫂

This is how I always interpreted Sun as well.. because I was experiencing the same guilt delusions.. though mine aren't caused by trauma I immediately recognized that we're so much alike because of the way he acts and behaves..

I'm glad that some people understand that.. that some people understand the excessive guilt Sun definitely has to feel..

I can't thank enough Davis and EC for creating Sun's character because Sun helped me realize that I'm suffering from mental disorder and not that I'm just exaggerating and imagining things and use mental issues as personality traits..

I wish that I knew what was going through Davis' mind when he created Sun's personality for sams.. maybe if I knew that he actually made Sun to have guilt delusions and depressive psychosis and it wasn't just a simple coincidence then I'd feel a bit better..

Because I sufffered a lot because of certain individuals in this fandom.. both here and on Discord server.. just because I was saying that Sun is suicidal because I was worried because of my own mental struggles..

Because why they had to say that "I'm disturbing" and that I apparently "was dragging everyone to this" when it's not true and they had the audacity to say that under the post that someone made in my defense where they said that I was passively suicidal..

And they never felt the need to apologize for that..

I also didn't like when New Moon descended into "insanity" at first because the very same people were suddenly caring about New Moon experiencing similar issues to Sun (though their experiences are different but you get what I mean)..

Tl;Dr: I absolutely agree with you and I'm glad to see that some people understand the excessive guilt that Sun has ^^

[aspd-culture]

Aspd culture is wondering if a diagnosis is even worth it. Like, what are the pros and what are the cons? Are there even any pros? (Anyone who sees this feel free to drop your experiences/opinions)

I hope I can give some insight on this, because I came into this question myself in a place where there were effects on one side that people generally say don't exist.

Cons: So, a lot of people in the cluster b community claim that there is no effect on your ability to be hired if you are diagnosed with ASPD because of HIPAA. This is only mostly true. If you work in certain fields, such as care fields, that require you to be cleared psychologically then you *can* be refused a job on the basis of your ASPD. For me, this is preschool. Now, how it works is not as black and white as "do you have ASPD? Okay f*ck off then". Depending on the place you live, these will change but for my area this is how it works.

The preschool (I believe this would also apply to retirement and nursing homes) can choose one of two ways to get that clearance. They have to provide you access to a work clearance doctor that can perform the clearances, but they can choose, if they want, to allow you to use your own psychiatrist if you have one. That's not required, but some places will because it saves them money, or because they understand that there is nuance to mental health that a 15 minute consult can't give them. If you use your own, they don't have to have a clearance appointment, they just want their clearance paperwork filled out by your doctor indicating if you are cleared to work in the conditions you would be working in.

In your appointment if you go to a work-clearance doctor in my state, you don't have to declare your specific disorders in this time as they aren't allowed to be given to your potential employer anyways. They just get a P/F (pass or fail) for your physical and psychological clearance, potentially with a contingency on a pass. For example, I'm willing to bet that I would be given a contingency if I were to pass with a clearance doctor that I must not discontinue any of my medication without agreement from a doctor on the matter. That makes sense. Whilst I worked in a preschool unmedicated, there is good reason they would be concerned given that my medication list includes a mood stabilizer. I know I'm capable without it, my last job knows I'm capable without it, but *they* don't know I'm capable without it, and they wouldn't want to take that risk (so very reasonable/gen).

For most jobs though, HIPAA is fully protected as there is no reasonable explanation for them needing access to any medical information from you. I don't know the full list, but I'm willing to bet anything working with a weapon would also require this kind of clearance. However, no job that I'm aware of is allowed to discriminate based on your diagnosis which is why there is paperwork explaining the work conditions and asking if you could handle them rather than about your specific mental health details.

Outside of this, you may have issues adopting children or emigrating to another country on the basis of your diagnosis without the conditions that exist for jobs. These *can* but not always *will* deny you purely on the basis of a diagnosis. But, since ASPD is relatively stigmatized, be aware that you will have a greater chance of issues than with a less stigmatized diagnosis.

Expected cons you already likely knew about but warrant repeating is increased risk of ableism both from doctors, courts (if they find out, so mostly large crimes which we don't condone the act of committing here), and people in personal relationships. It won't be everyone - probably less than you'd think but more than you'd hope - but it is almost inevitable that there will be one person you interact with regularly who will be ableist.

Pros: The biggest one here, I won't lie to you, is going to be validation/understanding of yourself and possibly by the people around you if you choose to tell them. Don't underestimate the value of knowing what is going wrong and why, ditto with the value of supportive loved ones knowing that. It makes life easier to a degree you're wouldn't expect. Having care and understanding for yourself can alleviate some flares and soften the blow when you do things you're not proud of. It's not an excuse not to improve, but it makes it easier to give yourself credit where it's due.

The next biggest is going to be treatment, and this is a major step down from the pro above because finding a provider for this is going to be a bit of an undertaking if yours isn't already good about it or if you get diagnosed by a one-time professional (unlikely for any personality disorder). But, if you can find a good one, your professional being able to understand ASPD is going to be a very big deal as far as treatment goes because there are many techniques that simply *do not work* for most people with ASPD. DBT is vastly more effective for cluster b disorders than CBT, and CBT has frustrated many pwASPD out of ever trying treatment again. It will work for some pwASPD because we are not all the same, but it's best to try other things that work better first. Diagnosis also gives a lot of information to good professionals very quickly; rather than spending several expensive sessions for them to figure out "this person has severe trauma, a very irregular and insecure attachment style, a lack of trust in others to the point of paranoia, destructive tendencies for both themselves and their interactions with others, inability to perform normally in social situations, a lack of interest/ability in close relationships, and issues with impulses that need to be addressed as soon as possible", you can get that out all in one diagnostic code and start working on it much faster. This, to me, is a big thing. Therapy takes time, yes, but it can take much less with large, complex issues already mapped out. That's more or less what diagnoses are for, as far as I'm aware; they exist to communicate information quickly without you having to waste time and stress going into detail about it.

Lastly, there are a small number of reasonable accommodations that can be given for ASPD. The main ones you could reasonably ask for are probably going to be things like less rigidity on callouts, avoiding all front-facing interaction, and preference for work positions that operate with indirect management and more freedom vs direct oversight. For these, you are going to want to work with an informed disability advocate! Employers make enough issues about well-known disorders such as anxiety and ADHD without an advocate so please get one if you need accommodations.

The pros and cons are going to be weighed differently for everyone. As someone who is already too disabled to work at the moment, I put value on getting more efficient and personalized treatment above the cons since it would make everything simpler for me to potentially get back to work through treatment vs trying to avoid diagnosis for employability's sake. And I'm mostly unbothered by both personal and medical ableism; I'm happy to say a polite version of f*ck off to personal ableists and willing to report and move on from doctors who are ableist, but it's reasonable if you don't want to do that.

If anyone can think of more for either side, please add on!/gen

Plain text below the cut:

I hope I can give some insight on this, because I came into this question myself in a place where there were effects on one side that people generally say don't exist.

Cons: So, a lot of people in the cluster b community claim that there is no effect on your ability to be hired if you are diagnosed with ASPD because of HIPAA. This is only mostly true. If you work in certain fields, such as care fields, that require you to be cleared psychologically then you can be refused a job on the basis of your ASPD. For me, this is preschool. Now, how it works is not as black and white as "do you have ASPD? Okay f*ck off then". Depending on the place you live, these will change but for my area this is how it works.

The preschool (I believe this would also apply to retirement and nursing homes) can choose one of two ways to get that clearance. They have to provide you access to a work clearance doctor that can perform the clearances, but they can choose, if they want, to allow you to use your own psychiatrist if you have one. That's not required, but some places will because it saves them money, or because they understand that there is nuance to mental health that a 15 minute consult can't give them. If you use your own, they don't have to have a clearance appointment, they just want their clearance paperwork filled out by your doctor indicating if you are cleared to work in the conditions you would be working in.

In your appointment if you go to a work-clearance doctor in my state, you don't have to declare your specific disorders in this time as they aren't allowed to be given to your potential employer anyways. They just get a P/F (pass or fail) for your physical and psychological clearance, potentially with a contingency on a pass. For example, I'm willing to bet that I would be given a contingency if I were to pass with a clearance doctor that I must not discontinue any of my medication without agreement from a doctor on the matter. That makes sense. Whilst I worked in a preschool unmedicated, there is good reason they would be concerned given that my medication list includes a mood stabilizer. I know I'm capable without it, my last job knows I'm capable without it, but they don't know I'm capable without it, and they wouldn't want to take that risk (so very reasonable/gen).

For most jobs though, HIPAA is fully protected as there is no reasonable explanation for them needing access to any medical information from you. I don't know the full list, but I'm willing to bet anything working with a weapon would also require this kind of clearance. However, no job that I'm aware of is allowed to discriminate based on your diagnosis which is why there is paperwork explaining the work conditions and asking if you could handle them rather than about your specific mental health details.

Outside of this, you may have issues adopting children or emigrating to another country on the basis of your diagnosis without the conditions that exist for jobs. These can but not always will deny you purely on the basis of a diagnosis. But, since ASPD is relatively stigmatized, be aware that you will have a greater chance of issues than with a less stigmatized diagnosis.

Expected cons you already likely knew about but warrant repeating is increased risk of ableism both from doctors, courts (if they find out, so mostly large crimes which we don't condone the act of committing here), and people in personal relationships. It won't be everyone - probably less than you'd think but more than you'd hope - but it is almost inevitable that there will be one person you interact with regularly who will be ableist.

Pros: The biggest one here, I won't lie to you, is going to be validation/understanding of yourself and possibly by the people around you if you choose to tell them. Don't underestimate the value of knowing what is going wrong and why, ditto with the value of supportive loved ones knowing that. It makes life easier to a degree you're wouldn't expect. Having care and understanding for yourself can alleviate some flares and soften the blow when you do things you're not proud of. It's not an excuse not to improve, but it makes it easier to give yourself credit where it's due.

The next biggest is going to be treatment, and this is a major step down from the pro above because finding a provider for this is going to be a bit of an undertaking if yours isn't already good about it or if you get diagnosed by a one-time professional (unlikely for any personality disorder). But, if you can find a good one, your professional being able to understand ASPD is going to be a very big deal as far as treatment goes because there are many techniques that simply do not work for most people with ASPD. DBT is vastly more effective for cluster b disorders than CBT, and CBT has frustrated many pwASPD out of ever trying treatment again. It will work for some pwASPD because we are not all the same, but it's best to try other things that work better first. Diagnosis also gives a lot of information to good professionals very quickly; rather than spending several expensive sessions for them to figure out "this person has severe trauma, a very irregular and insecure attachment style, a lack of trust in others to the point of paranoia, destructive tendencies for both themselves and their interactions with others, inability to perform normally in social situations, a lack of interest/ability in close relationships, and issues with impulses that need to be addressed as soon as possible", you can get that out all in one diagnostic code and start working on it much faster. This, to me, is a big thing. Therapy takes time, yes, but it can take much less with large, complex issues already mapped out. That's more or less what diagnoses are for, as far as I'm aware; they exist to communicate information quickly without you having to waste time and stress going into detail about it.

Lastly, there are a small number of reasonable accommodations that can be given for ASPD. The main ones you could reasonably ask for are probably going to be things like less rigidity on callouts, avoiding all front-facing interaction, and preference for work positions that operate with indirect management and more freedom vs direct oversight. For these, you are going to want to work with an informed disability advocate! Employers make enough issues about well-known disorders such as anxiety and ADHD without an advocate so please get one if you need accommodations.

The pros and cons are going to be weighed differently for everyone. As someone who is already too disabled to work at the moment, I put value on getting more efficient and personalized treatment above the cons since it would make everything simpler for me to potentially get back to work through treatment vs trying to avoid diagnosis for employability's sake. And I'm mostly unbothered by both personal and medical ableism; I'm happy to say a polite version of f*ck off to personal ableists and willing to report and move on from doctors who are ableist, but it's reasonable if you don't want to do that.

If anyone can think of more for either side, please add on!/gen

[ask-lab-rats]

HELP I FORGOT TO ASK THESE (im sorry for the list of questions) 4. do any of the subjects have some kind of mental disorder? (depression, bipolar, etc) 5. knife why tf are you so emo. grab some friends, socialize...uhh...maybe try talking to pickle? (can you guess my favorite lol) 6. to all subjects, what are your dreams to pursue in life if you ever get out? 7. to all subjects, again; If you do get out...what are you even going to do? No money, No experience, no relatives- how will you survive? - :]

4: CreatorNotes:

OJ - NPD

Paper - DID

Bomb - OCD (and a speech disorder)

Paintbrush - Autism

Salt - BPD

Lightbulb - ADHD

Knife - ASPD?

Idk about depression but I think if anyone it would be Taco or Balloon. And all of them probably have PTSD. They don't know they have any of these btw but Cobs would. I don't even know if I'll actually portray any of these in the story but here anyway

5:

"Ugh....! I don't want too...."

6: "I'd like to get a cool job!" - OJ

"I'd be so fun to play real video games." - Pickle

"I'd like a phone all for myself." - Bow

"I could become an artist!" - Paintbrush

"I'll dress up in pretty dresses! Like a fashion star or something." - Salt

"I'll get a ton of new friends, and go to school, and-" - Lightbulb

7: "We'll just have to figure it out I guess.

But don't worry. Whatever happens, I'll protect them." - OJ

CreatorNotes: I answered this out of order but it okay. I have a comic planned for the other one :)

[cosmicjoke]

Hey, I know you probably don’t let those hateful people bother you, but I just wanted to say something anyway. I really think you’re an amazing person and super smart, and I’ve learned so much from your blog and your fics, both about AoT and Levi specifically and also life in general. Because of you, I’ve become more aware and understanding, especially about stuff like disabilities and how ableism shows up everywhere. Honestly, I used to be clueless about all that. I didn’t even realize how common ableism is until I started reading your work. It’s awful seeing people attack you on your blog all the time just for writing about Levi’s disabilities. You’ve also taught me so much about trauma (sexual trauma in particular) and mental health. I’ll admit, I used to be really judgmental about eating disorders, especially anorexia. I thought it was just about vanity or being picky with food. I’m ashamed to say that now. I didn’t get it AT ALL. But your writing changed that for me. On top of that, the way you write about Levi’s struggles with his sexuality really hit me. I grew up in a place that’s super unkind toward queer people, so I relate a lot to how Levi feels in your story. It’s terrible that people accuse you of “hating straight women” just because you write Levi as queer. Anyway, I just wanted you to know how much your work has impacted me. And reading your analysis posts on your blog has helped me come away with a better understanding and appreciation for AoT and Levi as a character. Don’t let these unhinged haters get you down! And as a side note, some of your anons and haters need a reminder that fiction is, well, fiction lol I love seeing my favorite characters struggle and suffer because it’s cathartic. There’s a reason angst, whump, and hurt/comfort are so popular. That doesn’t mean we love the character any less. Keep doing what you’re doing!

Hi there! First of all, thank you so, so much! Your words are incredibly kind and I honestly found myself smiling reading them. To know my writing, whether it’s been my fiction or my analyses, has helped you in any way, let alone all the ways you’ve detailed here, is the biggest compliment I could receive. I always hope the stuff I write will end up being beneficial in some way, either in engendering an appreciation in others for the things I love, or in helping engendering greater sympathy and understanding toward the things I tend to explore in my fiction, and hearing you say my writing had done that for you is amazing! If my stories have helped you develop more compassion and awareness toward those with disabilities, either mental or physical, that really is the most I could ever hope for. That’s such a big deal to me. Knowing specifically it helped you understand and have greater compassion toward those suffering from anorexia in particular is amazing to hear, and also to know it made you more aware of how unfortunately prevalent ableism is. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. And thank you also for sharing how my depiction of Levi in my stories has given you some sense of solace with your own experiences growing up! Again, that’s such a huge compliment. I also really appreciate what you said about the accusations leveled against me. I definitely don’t hate straight women, or anyone based on anything so arbitrary as sexual preference, haha. I just like to write Levi as queer in my stories, but anyone who knows me knows I don’t even actually ascribe any sexuality to Levi when I’m strictly talking about his canon character, because the truth is, it’s never an aspect of his character that gets brought up and so, doesn’t really matter in the context of canon. If someone wants to ship him with female characters, or with themselves, that’s fine by me, haha. I seriously don’t have any issue with any ships or any shipping community. Everyone should be allowed to ship what they want without being harassed. Just like everyone should be able to discuss Levi’s canon character without being targeted for it or accused of being anti shipping. Sadly, some people just can’t stay in their own lane and have to actively work to make anyone who thinks differently from them miserable. But anyway, seriously, thank you so much again! To know my work has served as that much of an inspiration to you is honestly inspiring to me, and I appreciate you reaching out to tell me so more than I can put into words! Thank you so much again!

[system-of-a-feather]

Man finally got around to watching the "Mr. Monk's Last Case" that I've been meaning to watch since it came out and I always forget just how relatable Monk is to me and how it really just hits home a bit too much how Monk lives and views himself

Like I'm sure a lot of people read the show like its a "haha OCD so funny" gag and I know some people get really mad because "OCD is treated like the butt end of the joke and no one with OCD is actually like that" but it really never felt that way to me as someone who has OCD - particularly because I cope with it the same way.

I totally understand the people that do not relate to it, OCD has a wide way of presentation and an even wider way of coping with it and that is not taking into account co-morbidities, the one in particularly that I think is most important when judging Monk - is C-PTSD and the MAIN one, while not directly mentioned, autism.

Cause the way they DO handle Monk's mental health, both in the original series (which I've watched at least 5 times over in my life) and the newest movie, while silly and haha at times, has always been so realistically done to me that it unironically is the only show or series or movie or game that had nearly made me physically cry because when it DOES get real into Monk's mental health, it gets pretty real, arguably too real.

I think if you are to talk about it as JUST OCD and treat this as "media representation of the average individual with OCD", people are right to say that its not good because I agree, Monk isn't the average individual with OCD and it does play into harmful stereotypes and generalizations of OCD. Monk is advertised as that a lot, so that advertising I disagree with. But if you actually watch the show, the show does little to hide that he has co-morbidity with PTSD / C-PTSD and while they don't outright say it, he is obviously autistic.

And as someone who's dad is has C-PTSD, Autism, and OCD and as someone who ALSO has C-PTSD, Autism, and OCD.... It's really really really fucking accurate and hits home. Something my mom, who lived with THREE people with that matching set of co-morbidities, loves and agrees is super relatable to how it was like living in our house.

And that is where it really gets me when people say "its a bad representation of OCD! OCD doesn't looks like that" cause... yeah it does, for at least three people I know with OCD. Are we a specific minority within the group of OCD? Probably, but we still have OCD.

I dunno man, episodes with Monk's mental health being talked about gets me in ways few things do and I will die on the hill that Monk's shit is very well done and accurate albeit to a specific subset of people with OCD.

And also on the point of it "being the butt of the joke"...

For me, my OCD and literally all my mental health conditions are often used as the butt end of the joke. And I'm not saying that people are wrong for being upset, but chronic mental illness symptoms after you get really used to them and adapt your life to them and just embrace your unique way of living.... it's kind of hard to not find a lot of the quirks in light humor?

Like my fiance always said it about his year with severe Chrons "at a certain point when you are in the hospital having shit come out both ends, you just have to laugh at it cause thats funny shit right there."

I don't think I would have survived recovery with any of my mental health disorders if I didn't take some of the quirks that came out of my adapted life style to be funny and love them anyways.

As long as there is a balance between "this is a serious thing that gets in the way of a persons life" which they DO do very well in Monk, I see very little issue at exploring the kinda funny things living with a chronic mental health condition does.