#anyway i love orin and durge so much

[mlady-magnolia]

“I did all of this… for him. Everything- everything…”

[shaykai]

Super rambley but Sceleritas tries so hard for Durge.

If they spare Isobel, he tells them they’re going to kill their nearest and dearest companion (which Durge has a history of not doing- Orin straight up calls them a liar if they say they’d kill those they’re closest to without hesitation) not because Bhaal asked for another head to replace Isobel’s, but because Sceleritas knows the consequences of not giving him one (and so should Durge, but their brain is ruined and muddied and surely they can turn this around because it isn’t their fault, they don’t know what they’ve done by sparing her)

They need something grand and dramatic and meaningful, it needs to be a sacrifice on Durge’s end because that’s the only way to possibly make up for them resisting their god given Urge

It’s not meant to be a punishment (but it is, isn’t it?) it’s meant to be repentance, a sad gift to Father in hopes that he’ll forgive their transgression

It’s not right, but that’s just how it is being under Bhaal. Sceleritas understands the consequences- his whole existence is purely meant to help steer Durge towards their purpose- what’s a bit of hurt now if it will save their very life? Their blood right?

The love is there, it’s just twisted to the point that the only people who would recognize it as love are other Bhaalists

[razzberrydazz]

OC Meme - get to know Rana

Got tagged by @mynthara to do this oc info meme, tagging uhhh anyone else who wants to do this if ya want (@larissel I choose you if ya wanna blab about Nashira :3)

I put a readmore for possible game spoilers ahead for BG3, and for potential content warnings (mentions of Dark Urge antics, kink dynamics, and brief mentions of SA), cuz Rana's life pre-tadpole was Not a happy one. Enjoy all the pics of Rana I stuffed into this!

BASICS

Full Name (pre-tadpole): Rana the Gray, ie the Bladedancer, ie The Dark Urge, ie The Red-Eyed Dagger

(Rana loosely translates to Lesser End/Minor Destruction in Drow)

Full Name (post-tadpole): Rana'rox La'Rouge, ie Rana, ie Durge

Gender: Nonbinary/Agender

Sexuality: Pan

Pronouns: They/It (They/Them for Rana, it/its for their Urge)

Age: Mid 40s? Rana doesn't quite remember how old they are.

OTHER

Family: Bhaal (progenitor), Orin the Red (Half-Sister, Bhaalspawn Bloodkin), Mala (Rana's daughter - a product of SA and incest - that they had smuggled away as soon as she was weaned, in order to protect her from the Bhaalist cult and from their Dark Urge; Mala ended up adopted by Jaheira and her family. Mala loosely translates to Secret Breaker in Drow)

Other family: Adopted drow (seldarine) mother called Rox La'Rouge (deceased, killed by the Dark Urge), a pet Displacer Beast called Chewy (deceased), a human man called Rook Haven (deceased, killed by the Dark Urge) who was the ringleader for a traveling circus called the Raucous Rooks (all members killed by the Dark Urge when the Urge first fully manifested in Rana), and several unnamed children both deceased and surviving as Bhaalists (Rana doesn't remember them, the Brain Trauma is Strong).

Birthplace: Spawned in the Cloakwood forest near Baldur's Gate, then found and raised by Rox La'Rouge and the Raucous Rooks circus shortly after.

Job: Originally a bard and acrobat in the Raucous Rooks circus, then became a Bhaalist assassin, then the leader of the Bhaalist cult in Baldur's Gate, then during the events of BG3 acts as an altruistic adventurer. Rana hopes to one day join a new carnival or circus as a clown or daredevil acrobat.

Phobias: Succumbing to the Urge, Pregnancy (Ironically has a breeding kink), The color Red (specifically when it's the Urge), loss of control, succumbing to insanity.

Hobbies: Rana works to teach themself Drow (they never learned to speak it fluently as a kid, and are trying to catch up in adulthood), and other languages in their free time, and write in their journal extensively. They enjoy collecting and sharpening daggers, sword swallowing, juggling, reading, dancing, singing, and playing instruments such as the lyre and lute. They also like trying new clothes and learning new rope-tying techniques.

MORALS

Alignment: Chaotic Good - Rana will go out of their way to do what they believe is good, laws and consequences be damned, if only to counteract their Urges. Sometimes that involves killing someone doing a great wrong, or breaking into buildings to steal food to feed the hungry, or intimidating guards into turning a blind eye to someone just trying to survive, or purposely isolating themselves from others so as to not hurt anyone.

Sins: Wrath (the Urge), Lust, Envy

Virtues: Patience, Courage, Kindness

Introvert / Extrovert / Ambivert

Organized / Disorganized (memory problems)

Close-minded / Open-minded

Calm / Anxious / Restless

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between

Cautious / Reckless / In between (save yourself I'll hold them back)

Patient / Impatient / In between

Outspoken / Reserved / In between

Leader / Follower / Flexible

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between

Optimist / Pessimist / Realist

Traditional / Modern / In between

Hard-working / Lazy

OTP: Shadowheart, Minthara, and Lae'Zel (Rana is polyamorous and kinky, and wants to share and be shared with their partners. In an ideal situation, they act as service top and Submissive in a D/S dynamic with Minthara, Shadowheart, and Lae'Zel; Minthara also acts as the Domme of Shadowheart, Lae'Zel, and Karlach. Minthara only agrees to this dynamic if it's a Hierarchical relationship with her at the top.)

Acceptable Ships: Karlach, Halsin, Astarion, Dame Aylin and Isobel, and Abdirak (If Shadowheart and/or Minthara give Rana permission, they'll happily be with other people)

OT3: In a polycule with the entire party (Rana wants to get passed around like a blunt)

Brotp: Karlach, Wyll, Minsc, Astarion, Gale

Notps: Jaheira (sees Jaheira as a mother/grandmother/mentor figure, but is entirely willing to platonically help Jaheira with her kids, considering they find out Jaheira's the one who adopted Mala ie Rana's daughter),

Gortash (Rana's ex-boyfriend from before the tadpole amnesia, whom enabled their Urges and vices. Rana wishes things could have gone differently, they saw potential in Gortash, and mourn what could have been had he not turned to tyranny and extortion. They resent him for what he did to Karlach, but can't bring themself to hate him, because in his own ways he managed to help them by crafting a prosthetic eye specially made for them, and they at one point held some strange distorted love for each other),

Orin (not only did Orin give Rana the brain trauma and tadpole that resulted in their amnesia, but Orin also SA'd Rana during the time before they became head of the Bhaalist cult, which resulted in Rana going into hiding for a year and a half to have their daughter Mala and smuggle her away to a family that would protect her. Rana feared what would've happened if they raised a child within the cult, knowing the traumatic hell of Orin's own incestuous conception and cult upbringing. There was a high likelihood they would have killed the child due to the Urge, if they kept Mala within the cult. Even so, the good still in Rana wanted to find a way to forgive Orin, and drag her out of the cult kicking and screaming. If they could have found a way to renounce Bhaal without being forced to kill Orin, they would. Alas, they couldn't find a way to save their bloodkin from the lash of Bhaal.)

Raphael (Rana already felt like their soul was forfeit by virtue of being a Bhaalspawn, they're loathe to chain themself to a manipulative devil as well, even though they find his honeyed words alluring and the idea of being a devil's plaything is...not entirely unappealing for someone who enjoys being a service submissive like Rana.)

Link to the lil dagger dividers I used for this post

[merrunzs]

anyway does anyone ever think abt how lonely the chosen are.

how ketheric does everything for his family but he is the only one really left. everything in his home and everyone he loves are either dead or twisted by the shadow curse that kills everything there anyway. isobel, the daughter he had being doing Everything for, ran from him when she found out what he had become to save her

how gortash was always too smart for his own good that he was cast out and sold like damaged goods by his own parents . he was sold to the hells where nobody is your friend . he is the chosen of bane, representing the sphere of tyranny and subjugation, in which nobody is your friend. he has the entire city under his thumb either through fear or his charm and the brittle, tense partnership with ketheric and orin and yet he has no true allies (except the durge arguably but. theyre either gone or dont remember him) . how he Seeks Out the equal partnership with tav/amnesiac durge which to me seems So antithetical to banes sphere- i cant imagine theyre too fond of sharing- in a way that fascinates me so much

how orin is a bhaalspawn that has never been good enough. never pure enough. she has always been second best, the childish girl to durges mastery. how she does everything for sarevok and for bhaal she has nothing but her family and that temple. no matter how much she devotes herself to them she is only ever looked upon by her only loved ones with hatred and contempt. orin whos own mother attacked her on sarevoks orders. orin who is unwanted wherever she goes no matter how hard she tries to be the very best

the dark urge, too. durge who is a tool, a vessel and instrument for their fathers will. when sarevok says 'you belong to bhaal. he manifests within you' . how theyre shackled to bhaal and kept from everything else. the first people they ever killed were their family. even in the temple, with their True family, durge is alienated from orin and sarevok by virtue of being made and not born, not connected to their shared bloodline. durge who is constantly pushed onto a pedestal by those in the temple through their divinity and purity and has never had a true peer to stand beside before gortash. durge who is so so cut off from other people and intimacy and who is forced to kill everyone they get close to or love by their father and the urge. durge who is an object for bhaals use, unafforded the mortal luxury of real connection

deeply deeply interested by how they are all such powerful and influential characters and yet all have such a strong theme of isolation. :(

[meanbossart]

so uh stop reading aaaabout here if you care about spoilers for the original baldur's gate games (no idea if you have/planned on playing em just wanna be safe) but ANYWAY in 2 you can choose to split your soul with Sarevok to bring him back to life and, if you choose to play it that way, give him a second chance. i'm not going to subject you to my Sarevok rants because lord knows you did not ask but i find that concept really really interesting especially in relation to Durge and Orin so after way too much rambling here's my question. what would DU Drow do in that kinda situation? i know post-tadpole he doesn't really hold any warm feelings towards Orin (if you could count whatever he had going on before as "warm" lol) but would any part of him want to give her a shot at living her own life without Bhaal's influence?

oh my god this got way too long i am. so sorry

I've been thinking about this one for a while. Honestly it's a really sweet concept for them.

I think if DU drow were to somehow find out about what he did to Orin over the years (the pressuring, the low-key harassment, how utterly obsessed he was with her, how, unbeknownst to himself, he played a part in making her worse and actively helped her erase more and more parts of herself) he would be a little horrified with himself. Not immediately, perhaps not outwardly, but he'd get a little grossed out feeling in his gut and a churning that is at it's worst whenever he looks at Astarion.

It's only really because of Astarion that he learned what the hell love with boundaries is. He started off by trying to cross them, only to be humbled when his urges wouldn't let him fulfill any carnal desires in the first place and forcing him to appreciate the comfort in Astarion's company alone, without the sexual factor, and in turn coming to understand that that's not even what he wanted in the first place. Then, through learning about his past experiences, he'd grow to abhor the very concept and take slow incremental steps to fix that within himself. He realizes that if he had done the same with Orin, their situation could have been very different - or it could have not. Either way, he never had the self-awareness to try.

You know the scene in Cazador's dungeon? Where you meet up with the caged spawn and you have the option to confront Astarion about it when he lacks the empathy towards them? About how, in another life, that could have been you? Perhaps there would be something similar here. Where DU drow tries to justify his past-self's actions and Astarion holds a very ugly mirror of himself up to his face - if I say no, if I ever change my mind, is this what you're going to do to me?

That hypothetical would make him sick.

So yes. I think in that situation where he has a slightly fuller picture, he would find it nothing but fair to share a little bit of his soul with Orin so she has a second shot at life - It's basically what she did for him, after all.

[truly-sincerely]

IS GORTASH ENTHRALLED?

(tl;dr: yes)

In this essay I will…

Okay, but seriously I did write an essay.

I got here after chasing a very different rabbit down its hole. I'd noticed that Gortash seems to have been throwing out a lot of his stuff (read: mostly employees).

Waldemar Prinski, a loyal banite, sold to a devil for a corn chip

Dark Breaker Antiope, sahuagin wrangler, A Negotiation

The Steel Watch Foundry, Orders to Black Gauntlet Rives

Scribe Yanthus, my beloved, sent on a wild bhaal chase

Vance Farnol, journalist, tho you could argue he had it coming

Goblin Worg handler at Flymm Cargo, plus the Worgs when they run out of Goblin to eat

And, of course, everyone at his Coronation

Was killing all of the patriars and their staff a grim necessity, Enver? Was it?

(Also, he's installed a giant portrait of Bane and a bust of Bane in the penthouse, but he doesn't have a single picture of himself, or any mirrors, for that matter. Food for thought.)

My initial diagnosis was macabre, but obviously I’ve moved away from that line of thinking. He's just way too happy to brag about how much danger he's put himself, us, and the entire world in. It freaked me out the first time I met him (as a Tav). Like I see him glancing at the ground and smiling coyly while saying, "If we're lucky, we'll become slaves," on the back of my eyelids when I go to bed at night.

For the love of all that is holy, could you please turn it down a notch?

I've been obsessed with The Ultimate State since I first read it. It's absolutely absurd nonsense. The item description says it's, "the philosophical ramblings of Enver Gortash." and I feel like it's worth noting that he doesn't write his own propaganda; he has the banites do it for him. But I mean, it really does read like he's twisting himself in knots to connect "unity" and "progress" together, but babe, those jigsaw pieces do not go together like that. Anyway, while thinking about this subject it dawned on me:

They're the same picture.

You know what other line of thinking these two have in common?

They both look so sad when they say this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I abandoned you.

I know we all love to joke about Durge or Gortash feeding the Brain the "Handsome, Younger Man" line, but what if that was just a smokescreen and it's been the other way around this whole time?

Netherbrain: You think you know why you are here. You think you can atone for giving me my power, child of Bhaal, by destroying me with the Netherstones. You are wrong. The Emperor: It’s messing with your mind. Don’t listen to it. Use the stones. Netherbrain: By eliminating Ketheric and Orin, you have simply unbound me. Exactly as I intended. The Crown is now mine to command - mine alone. The Emperor: Don’t listen to it! Focus on the Crown! Netherbrain: You placed the Crown upon me in the depths of Moonrise Towers, and there I was born. The Crown is not my weakness - it is what made me what I am. Gortash: You are delusional - the Crown is how we controlled you! Netherbrain: I respected Bhaal’s child once, but not you, Gortash. I allowed you to control me as long as it suited my purposes. You have played your part. The next order to be given is mine and it is this - die. Gortash: (crumples like a piece of parchment) Netherbrain: When the parasite entered your ruined mind - you became a pawn in my design. Who do you think told the Chosen about the Astral Prism? Who do you think planted the knowledge of Orpheus’ power, and the fear of what it could do? When the Chosen sent my thralls to retrieve the Prism - who do you think let the ‘Emperor’ slip its leash, knowing it would be the one to bring you to me? The Emperor: We were part of its plan… Netherbrain: I only needed one Netherstone loosened from the Chosen’s grasp to guarantee my freedom. You brought all three back to me. In doing so, you have liberated me. This was your role - and it is complete. Now you will witness the Grand Design.

The face of a man who has 20 INT and 16 WIS and is definitely not the brainwashed pawn of a giant brain that's been manipulating him in his sleep.

You think his puny +7 WIS save is gonna beat the Netherbrain when it's been working on his ass every time he goes to sleep for the last nine months? I say thee nay.

Also, and this is probably oversharing, but my dad, who I used to think of as a really smart guy is now a huge Trump supporter. He's an atheist but he'll parrot conservative christian talking points that I've seen clipped from Nazi talking heads. The words that come out of his mouth and the way he smiles when he says completely insane things is haunting.

What all of this means at the end of the day isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but it's kind of sad, and it definitely says something about his characterization. This man is floundering in a soup of his own making. A tragic puppet. A poor little meow meow.

There's an interesting line of demarcation between the various writings that he dictated to Scribe Yanthus, the things he wrote himself, and the things he says to us in the game.

Elder Brain Domination (from Ketheric, but about Gortash)

Suspended Ceremorphosis

The Grand Design

Studies of the Elder Brains

Accelerated Grand Design

Memoir Notes With Recent Addenda

Journal of Enver Gortash

He's so much more motivated and insightful early on, epitomized in Ketheric's entry, "Gortash fears that, energised by the dark energies of the Crown, the brain we now call the Absolute will eventually metamorphose into something new and more difficult to control." And he was right! But that guy's nowhere to be found by the time we meet him.

This one makes me particularly sad, "No weakness but the unexpected. It seems I shall need unexpected allies," because, again, he's right, and we could've saved him if the game had given us the opportunity to say, "No, there is another way. Let's not walk into this obvious trap." He wrote us a roadmap; left a trail of breadcrumbs; and we weren't given the option to follow them.

But I guess that's what fixfics are for.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TAVtalk!

[y-rhywbeth2]

I'm always fascinated by Sceleritas telling Durge that they always struggled to function without his assistance (and Orin seems to agree). I've seen it interpreted as Durge struggling with their instincts, but I'm not so sure (Gortash describes them as being in control of themselves, and I'm inclined to agree with his interpretation).

Naturally all this applies to my Durge not necessarily Durge in general, but: My first impression on my first playthrough (and the one I kept for my Durge) was that it was more of a mental health thing. So far I'd seen Durge suffering signs of illness caused by lack of death and violence, which causes euphoria. It looked like addiction and withdrawal symptoms (which, to be fair, it is). The way they talk about themselves and their body (wretched thing, rotten skull, contemptible blood pervert, unlovable carcass, a rabid dirty dog that bites) indicated a lot of self-hatred...

Honestly, my take on it is that pre-amnesia Durge was extremely depressed and basically a functional addict (with the rush Bhaal gives them for killing being their fix). They have no interest in the "artistry" of killing, much to Orin's annoyance, they're just phoning it in and avoiding thinking about their lives as much as possible. Bhaal gets death; Durge gets Daddy to pay attention and love them for five seconds and ecstasy enough to forget their misery for a bit. That's all that matters, fussing around with corpse dioramas and dressing up your kills doesn't get you extra points (well, Bhaal never paid attention when they did it, anyway).

Eventually they'll wrap up their purpose on this "vile" world (ie the apocalypse, (followed by repopulating the world with Bhaalspawn, by the look of it?)) and then they can finally fuck off and die.

[papastarion]

I know everyone has their different takes on Astarion’s character, and what they think his story should look like/what he would or wouldn’t do with his life after the events of the game, and I think they’re all valid. And not everyone is going to like your read or what you want him to pursue or be like after all is said and done. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Could you imagine how boring things would be if we all agreed? I personally love seeing the diversity of takes.

That being said, I am very much a fan of the idea of non-Ascended Astarion starting a family after everything, just me personally. Now, I know that’s a whole can of worms for people who don’t like that concept or who don’t like the idea of kids/pregnancy in their fiction. That’s completely fine. Funnily enough, I have no desire to have my own kids, but I love exploring that sort of lifestyle and the dynamic it creates when it comes to my characters in my own writing.

And I do think he wants kids, in my world state (to borrow a Dragon Age term), anyway.

I always go back to Astarion’s confession, when he says he wants “something real.” All those years where sex and love were nothing but a performance to seduce people and lure them to what he thought was their death. And now, with Tav/Durge, he wants the real thing. He wants to love and be loved.

He says he doesn’t know what “real” looks like anymore, which means he’s got to figure it out. And we know he isn’t much for plans, so that means a lot of what he learns is learned as he goes. That must extend to learning what he wants, too.

“I Want to Live” is the song that is consistently played in relation to his character development (despite being the players song.) Want. For all of those years, he was told by Cazador that he and his fellow spawn were a family. If he doesn’t ascend, then what he desires, and discovering what he wants, and taking what was false for so long and learning what the real version of it looks like to him all come together to make it easy for me to see him enjoying fatherhood.

He wouldn’t be Astarion without that prickly personality of his, but as his relationship with Tav/Durge progresses, you get to see the softness and sweetness he has in him, too. And I believe he really does mean it when he says he wants to protect them. He does genuinely care, as sarcastic and standoffish as he can be. That’s part of his personality and his character arc.

Now, do I think he likes all kids? Not at all. I think he likes certain kids, and for certain reasons. He may not encourage taking in Yenna, but he does insist on saving her from Orin. He seems to have a high opinion of Arabella. It depends on the kid. In a strange way, I think his own personhood being taken from him has made him view kids as more individual than most people tend to.

And I think he would adore his own kids because of who they are. They’re proof of how far he’s come, they’re proof that he’s alive and he’s living and that Cazador didn’t win in the end. He’s here. He won. He’s growing past everything.

And, most importantly: they’re his kid(s.)

Do I think he’s ever considered having children prior to having one, even before he was turned? I doubt it, honestly. But especially prior to his vampirism, I don’t think it matters whether he did or not. He can’t remember what color his eyes were, let alone what he wanted or who he was. And it doesn’t matter, he makes that much clear. He isn’t that person anymore, and he won’t ever get to be them again. So whether he had thought about children specifically or not, whether he wanted them or not, I don’t think that matters to him anymore.

He never saw himself as a hero, either, but he’s a Hero of Baldur’s Gate now. He cares. In his own way. And he defines and does things his own way in his life now. He’s still not your stereotypical hero, but he’s also no longer your stereotypical vampire. He wouldn’t be Astarion if he was easy to define. And after everything, he is still Astarion. He’s complex, and he can be quite contradictory and inconsistent. That’s both part of his personality and a result of the 200 years of trauma he survived, I think.

And again, he’s also not one for plans. I don’t think he considers being a father until Tav/Durge is telling him that he’s going to be one. And that kind of life-changing news can rattle even the people who have planned for it and wanted it their whole lives. Sure, I think it takes some getting used to, and I’m sure there are complex feelings that come with it. Rediscovering yourself and building a life are never easy. Living isn’t easy.

But this is another part of the life he’s living—really living. This isn’t the mockery Cazador forced the spawn to play pretend in, it’s a real family, his family. And I think that means everything to the person he chooses to be now.

[moonselune]

if this is too far out there i totally understand you turning down the request but o_o could you maybe do the ladies post-game with a bhaal rejecting durge who found a way to spare and now took in orin to help her rehabilitate (so now they and durge live together as a couple and orin is kind of a roommate). Would there be tensions? Do some just outright make an ultimatum?

Okay okay so gonna do this as more headcanony and see where it goes

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Karlach:

She would be so wary

Probably thinks you are just got hit a bit too hard in the head during battle

"How many Mama K's do you see babe?"

You manage to convince her that if you are going to Avernus to kill Zariel, we might as well bring the incest murder baby with us

Orin's just stood there like "please I'm so good at it."

Karlach groans and relents, kicking the dirt and murmuring something about cannon fodder

Orin is elated and swears on her favourite dagger that she will not kill anyone she is not allowed to

I can see your relationship with her getting better through this because she can prove herself doing the one thing she does best

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Minthara:

no

just no

this would be an ultimatum

at the end of the day you are choosing Minthara and offering up Orin to her as an apology for even thinking it

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Lae'zel:

Also cannot imagine Lae'zel allowing Orin near you

maybe if you join her to lead the coup against Vlaakith, for similar reasons as Karlach

But if she is staying in Baldurs Gate with lil Gith egg baby Xan

absolutely no way

would also ask if you got hit too hard in the head during battle

Lae'zel would not be able to trust Orin and would just have to kill her whether you liked it or not

she could not live knowing Orin is lurking somewhere, good intentions or not.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Shadowheart:

Surprisingly I feel like shadowheart would be the most accommodating

like orin can stay on your farm

maybe in an old barn or something

but she can stay

any animals get hurt though and Orin is out

Unless they are predators to Shadowheart's animals

then Orin is like a guard dog

"Yeah you can get those ones"

Orin would probably rehabilitate the best out here and would have the best chance of fixing herself and your relationship with her

we've made her touch some grass <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaheira:

She's way too old for this shit

She would be so torn up because she has had so much experience with Bhaalspawns

A part of her thinks she should help, because if she hadn't helped you then you two would never have fallen in love

but I think Orin's eccentricity would put her off and she can't risk losing the people she has fought so dear to protect

and a part of her doesn't want to have to fight anymore

she wants to join being with her family, being with you

not having to look over her shoulder just in case her sister-in law got in a mood and now there's one less place at the dinner table

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

These are a bit short, but I like these requests because it really makes me think how they would react and what they would want not only for yourself but for you

Anyways hope y'all enjoyed it even if this was a bit more rambley - Seluney xox

[taygra5shaon]

Hi! I love your art, shadow of durge was amazing! I was just wondering how did Gortash react to the news of Durge’s “disappearance”?

Heeeeeeyyy!!!! so sorry for the late reply Anon😭 social life is a difficult thing....

thanks you so much for the compliment, that means a lot for me, and I'm happy you like my comic!

So, for answer your question, I think it broke Gortash's heart to discover that Durge was "killed" by Orin, a wild card he had warned Durge about,

and the worse is that he can't even avenge him, because the grand plan, the plan that Bane want, the legacy left by Durge need Orin as the chosen one of Bhaal, now that Durge is missing.

We must understand that it was the first real relationship Gortash and Durge ever had:

-Gortash is to manipulative and patronizing with others to had something healthy with 'normal people', - Durge killed every sex partners he ever had, never having a emotional connection this deep for fear of his father

They did work very good together, they felt free with each other, balanced, happy to not be alone again...but the negative thing is that they had a lot of emotions, and they repress a lot of traumatic shit that were meant to explose anyway.

they handled disastrously their first real fight, and it caused a crack in their relationship, and they couldn't mend it, because Durge got lobotomized and Gortash though him dead.

so, when the news of Durge death arrived to Gortash, it destabilize him, making him feel lost, destroyed all the plans they both had created, rule together, LIVE together.

the fragile love and hope they had begun to grow was rip away, leaving Gortash mourning what they had....but the plan must go on

...this is to important than one man, his god, his lost love demand it...

(pardon my English, I try my best with it)

[shadowstarion]

love the idea that one of gortash’s instructions as bane’s chosen was to claim/dominate/control the bhaalspawn by any means necessary. him seducing durge solely for this advantageous political reason with the intention of later betraying them. then they disappear and orin comes along and he’s like well. back to square one i guess!

it’s annoying as fuck that he has to bother with this all over again (he doesn’t like her half as much as he liked durge) but he’s going to do it anyways because bane said so and gortash is very good at his job (desperate for approval)

instead of using sex and the suggestion of love as a manipulation tactic, gortash has to indulge orin’s bloodlust to get her to do anything. kind of a little shop of horrors arrangement

[ceeridwen99]

BG3 is a R O L E P L A Y I N G GAME...

Okay, time to be a bit controversial but I need to get this off my chest. Mainly because I've been seeing it everywhere. Instagram. Here. Youtube. Even the cursed site that is Reddit. I doubt this will reach many people, but I'll feel better having gotten it out of my head.

I think that a lot of people who play/played BG3 have forgotten that it is of ROLEPLAYING game. Let me repeat that. ROLEPLAYING. That means, that your game is based off of YOUR choices and YOUR choices alone. Meaning that the things you choose to do in this game are based on YOUR interpretation of the media. There is NO canonical interpretation of the game because it is YOUR campaign based on how YOU play. The plotline, the romances, and everything that happens is based on YOUR choices and how YOU decide to ROLEPLAY it.

Why am I putting so much emphasis on this? Well, because with the new patch, some additions were made to Durge's storyline. Mainly regarding Gortash. Nothing major at all, honestly. But, as we know, durgtash is quite a popular ship in the fandom. There was an added line during Gortash's coronation when Gortash expressed that he "liked" the Dark Urge in comparison to his sibling. A line has been added where the Durge can reply "I think I liked you too." That's it. That's what all the fuss is about. Because oh boy, did some people interpret that as Larian forcing durgetash on the players. First...what? How--

Let me preface this by saying I'm NOT a durgetash shipper AT ALL. I don't even like Gortash. Believe me, I've tried to see what people see in it (and him). I went and found all the journals and letters trying to see the romantic connection, and I just couldn't. It seems more like admiration and respect than love for me, but hey...guess what...that's MY interpretation. That's not what those who love this ship feel and that's perfectly okay because it's THEIR Campaign.

My point is, in no way is Larian FORCING a romantic relationship between Gortash and the Durge UNLESS you interpret it that way. Gortash says he "liked" you. Okay, That can mean many things. He respected you as his partner in this whole scheme. He enjoyed your company in comparison to Orin. Or, he saw you as a true friend. Or if you want--and only if you want it--he liked you romantically. And this is vice versa for the new line that was added to further differentiate the Durge from a Tav. It is such a vague line and can be interpreted in so many ways, that I truly don't understand what all the fuss is about. If you don't see Gortash as a previous romantic partner...then don't.

The Dark Urge is in many ways a blank slate. Yes, they have a bloody past when it comes to murder, but you don't have to add personal relationships to it if you don't want to. Hell, in my latest playthrough, my durge was a virgin when this whole mess began lol (They, of course, didn't know that, but it's what I roleplayed). They also never fully recover their memory outside of what's shown in the game. They're a complete blank slate at the start and the end. The durge has no personal background so you can make your own. So you can ROLEPLAY.

If you don't like the idea of Durge and Gortash being a thing...don't roleplay it that way. And, if you interpret that line as romantic DON'T click it. But there is no reason to be going around saying something is being forced on you when it isn't.

(If you want to be mad about something, be mad about Wyll constantly being sidelined compared to every other companion, but that's another post in itself.)

Anyway, if you read this thanks and have fun with whatever headcanon you carry.

[animentality]

You ever think about the idea that Durge very likely has told Enver to his face that they will be the one to kill him in the end? You ever think about how that conversation went? Was it a factual statement of intent delivered passionlessly from one wicked being to another? Or was it a promise, bathed in desire to be the one holding the knife, parting his flesh, wedding them together in the Bhaalist way? Or perhaps, if you’d like a bit more angst, was it a tearful confession? A choked out plea for forgiveness, an explanation that their wants and desires matter not to their holy father. That they will one day wield their knife against their only friend, their only love, and there is nothing they can do to stop it. They will kill him, it is as certain as the sun rising, and the only difference is whether they do it willingly or not. I enjoy this last one because by extension, this means that Gortash would have to know his fate at the hands of his nearest and dearest and choose to stay by their side anyway. When his only chance for survival is to send them away or try to kill them, he makes the choice to either accept fate or plot to defy the gods rather than act in self preservation. If that’s not love I don’t know what is.

Anon, come with me and imagine...

The first time they said it, it was cold, emotionless. A statement of fact. And he smiled and said, of course you will. But perhaps I'll have crafted a strong enough leash for you by then.

And they speak no more of it.

The second time they said it, it was with great pleasure. Perhaps after a vicious argument, or even a thrilling victory, because they have always enjoyed killing, but never before have they gotten close enough to someone that the thrill of killing them was enhanced by their fondness for them. They are smitten when they say it the second time, but threatening to kill him is an intimate act, a shield, a flimsy facade, to mask the softer emotion rotting within them. And Gortash smiled and said, If I must be killed, I'd want it to be you.

And then.

The third time.

The third time would be the last time.

And that would be the time when the Dark Urge would say it with a tremble to their throat.

A hint of fear, uncertainty. Because they're in too deep.

They've fallen in love, and they know they can't do that.

They know their father expects too much of them. The end of the world, for one thing, and as many Bhaalspawn as they can make, with as many partners as possible. And the time is approaching. Their plan is reaching its culmination.

And they don't want to go through with it anymore. And they decide they won't go through with it.

And they will let their sister kill them.

Because they need Gortash to survive.

They want him to carry out their plan.

So they tell him they will kill him in the end...and it's not a threat, but a concern. It's a future they want to avoid. A prophecy that cannot be allowed to come true.

And thus, they allow themselves to die, so they won't have to be the one to do it.

They know he can survive Orin, the way he can't survive them.

It's just...a dark little irony...that when they survive their sister's murder attempt, and come back...

They fulfill that promise in the end, regardless.

Fate comes for us all.

Anyway, anon.

Thanks for the ask! I now must think about some things in my dark corner...

[banes-favourite]

I doubt the House of Hope was the most hygienic place, and even before Enver was sold his parent's house probably wasn't that hygienic either because of the area they lived and how it sounds like they were living in poverty

So do you think this has had an effect on him as an adult? Does he still struggle with certain aspects of keeping good hygiene since he never really got into the practice of it before, or maybe he is almost obsessive over keeping himself clean and wearing some sort of perfume to distance himself as much as possible from that time? Or maybe he usually ensures he's clean at all times but occasionally struggles with it either during some period of time where he's completely focused on his work or when he's having an episode of a decline in his mental well-being

Maybe before durge disappeared he tended to have a bit of a more kept together appearance, but after durge vanished he found that he just no longer cared that much, or it felt more like a chore and he struggled to find the energy. So instead he just dived further into his work(probably not hard to do with him likely already being busier due to Orin and having more things to do in preparation for becoming archduke and reaching the last stages of the plan).

No cause you're so real for this. I think about this often cause like, this man is a Lord. He climbed the ranks by mingling and talking and socialising and manipulating. His image Should be his everything. And to a point, it is, because he wears these needlessly flashy clothes and accessories and holds himself up with so much confidence it's impossible not to find him impressive just by looking at him.

But then you look a bit closer and he's so unkempt? His stubble, his wild ass hair, his face looks like it hasn't been washed in days? And it's just., how did you become an archduke without paying attention to your appearance baby boy?

But then you think about it more and you realise he never had the LUXURY to care about basic hygiene because he was in constant survival mode since the moment he was born. Who cares about haircuts when you're struggling for your next meal? Who cares about washing up when you're going to get beaten to a bloody pulp anyway? Mf had to fight with teeth and claws to make a name for himself, I doubt hygiene was even on the top 20 things on his mind.

So I think there's two ways to interpret it. The more realistic approach is that he does not care, he cleans up when he's meeting someone important, just enough to keep up appearances but he never truly gets the hang of it because he simply never had the time to worry about it.

But personally I love the idea that as an adult, it does become an obsession, because finally he's reached his goals and he finally has the time and money to take proper care of himself. That he cleans his own clothes because he believes the servants are unclean, bathes twice a day with scorching water by scrubbing his body raw, wears gloves to protect himself against the germs he was forced to constantly be around in his younger years. He cannot stand the idea of being untidy because in his mind it's the same like being dirty, so his desk has to be perfect, his clothes have to be perfect, his chambers have to be perfect, and the moment anyone fucks up this careful environment he's built, he loses his shit. He reacts very strongly when Durge picks up dirt or blood and spreads it in his home, on his precious floors and carpets. He has to throw everything away and buy new, clean things every single time because he can afford to and otherwise he won't be able to sleep at night. It's an obsession, sure, but it's also a reminder that he's grown and got himself out of the shithole of poverty and enslavement. He holds power over his things, his body, his surroundings, and he'll do anything to keep it.

This interpretation also makes it all the more gut-wretching when his carefully built obsession starts slipping after Durge's disappearance. He no longer sees the point in putting so much energy in vanity or cleanliness, throws himself into work and work alone. He spends days building in his workshop and he doesn't even fucking care to wash away the oils and grease from the machines. He stops bathing, stops shaving, stops styling his hair, and it'd be super unnerving to watch him go from this perfect pillar of confidence to a sleep-deprived, dirty man in grief who has ran out of the energy to care.

(Both ideas work well with him drowning himself in his vanilla perfume also, either to cover up his stinky ass bc he Does Not Give a Shit or obsessively spraying himself every hour or so to smell as clean as he wants to feel)

[snarfflarf]

ok im still in act 1 on my durge play through cuz i got distracted by hades 2 so i might be talking out of my ass here but from all that ive heard i find it really, like... sad that gortash is into durge. like i feel sad for him. like yes he is a shitty person but giving him the benefit of a doubt for the second this man was abused his whole life. his horrible shitty parents sold him to raphael when he was just a little kid cuz they didnt want to fucking deal with him, where he was basically just imprisoned and tortured the whole rest of his life until he escaped somehow, maybe bane helped him maybe theres something else im forgetting or havent seen yet but whatever it was, for 10 or more years he kept all of it all completely secret so he could build his image for bane or whatever, the best petty justice he got against his parents was giving them particularly bad parasites, which is honestly too good for them. he never stood a chance. and then theres durge. they never stood a chance either. (neither did orin, for that matter, its really only ketheric that did). durge is a bhaal spawn made out of bhaals own flesh to be his unholy assassin, his slayer, his chosen. they were raised in a murder cult with a hereditary, extremely difficult to resist urge to kill. they never stood a chance. still, they tried anyways. they wanted to be good. they were never taught what good was, but they wanted to be good anyways. they escaped. they found a loving home. and they loved. they loved as much as they could until the urge overpowered them. they were just a child. durge wanders by hopscotch drawn in chalk on the floor and wonders if they were sweet once. they wanted so badly to be sweet. to be good. even when everything and everyone in their life wanted them to be bad. then they get a chance to start over, a blank slate, still with the urge but without the indoctrination. and they can choose to be good. or they can at least try, as they always did. i think gortash envies that, or wants it, or yearns for it. he finally meets another just like him, a person without a chance, someone he can talk to, who could understand him. and this someone, even while plotting the death of everyone in baldurs gate, is someone who has tried to be good, despite everything. i think its noticeable on durge. through all their darkness there is a light trying its hardest to shine. maybe gortash wishes he had that light too, either for some dream that he could be good, or merely to feel he has the option.

[meanbossart]

Sorry if you answered this, I did go through your asks a bit but didn't find an answer and I was just curious if you have any lore regarding the drow and Orin? Does he have, like, any thoughts regarding her as a pseudo-sister or she is just a henchmen that stabbed him in the back? Or like, regarding the fact it was her betrayal that got him out from the cult and eventually meeting Astarion and the gang? I feel a lot of people sanitize the Durge a little too much (which fair reaction, they are very fucked up in the game 😂) so I love hearing about people who have their durge lean on their violent weirdness

Huh! I guess it's been a minute since we've talked about Orin. Yes, their relationship was very significant and you should be able to find all that I've written and drawn with/about her here (save for anything I forgot to tag, which happens sometimes, lol.)

Also as a side note to everyone, please abstain from making comments about how other people choose to write their Durges (and Astarion for that matter) in my askbox, it is rarely (If ever) necessary.

Anyways, I guess this is a good opportunity to try and put it all down cohesively, so here we go:

DU drow came into the Bhaal temple at ages 17-19, he had lived a profoundly isolated life up until that point where his only constant companion would have been the lackey Sceleritas and, for a time, a horse. He had no friends, no companions, and killed the one woman he lost his virginity to the day after he met her. Sarevok and the rest of the Bhaalists taking him might have been a mockery of a family unit, but it was the closest he ever had to it nonetheless - and by far the one person in it that he felt the closest to was Orin, who was close to him in age and in that moment in time occupied a similar place in the temple's hierarchy as himself.

It's important to note here that when I say they were close, I'm talking about a closeness befitting of Bhaalspawn. They didn't share any good times; they had bad times together. And they enjoyed it to the extent that two profoundly dysfunctional young adults groomed to become murderous deities can. There was no tenderness here, feeling was expressed through violence and vulnerability wasn't only discouraged, it straight up wasn't practiced or even conceptualized in either of their heads. They killed together, mocked one-another, and hurt each other on the regular, and it's through those actions that they saw each other.

And yet, DU drow felt a burning limerence towards her from the moment he laid eyes on Orin, and this feeling never faltered, only grew. Orin cut off his matted hair in a careless, uneven slice of a blade, she pulled out his rotting molars with rusty pliers, she mocked his stink and resented his arrival (dare I say she was afraid, because she knew what it meant) but they had much more in common than they had in difference. This was a silent understanding, a screaming fact of life that led to them often gravitating towards each other in both packed and empty rooms, but never once discussed aloud.

I have no doubt that what would eventually become this Rabid, burning crush and later obsession of the drow's towards Orin is a result of their continous Isolation. The rest of the world was beneath them and temporary, and above was only Sarevok and Bhaal. Because of this, DU drow never once thought or desired to search for companionship and love anywhere besides for her, and so he started to see her not only as the vague concept of a sister, but also as his only option for a mate and wife, one which he embraced wholeheartedly (and that's putting it lightly).

Orin, on the other hand, had no such desires. Not to mention that her fear of being replaced and the implied consequences of it always spoke louder than any genuine feelings of comradery.

As DU drow ascended in the ranks and became head of the cult, those fears solidified in several ways. Not only did Sarevok favor him and she could feel herself being pushed aside, but DU drow's ego grew tenfold. What was once a quiet young man who saw himself as an equal to her became a self-righteous bhaalspawn who lavished in his role and all the boons that came with it. DU drow took everything he had acquired for granted, including her, whom he assumed would eventually succumb and become his romantic partner.

It didn't help that Sarevok subtly encouraged this partnership, thinking that through their children they could continue to produce bhaalspawn of a purer and more efficient pedigree.

Ironically, DU drow's disillusions went so far that he never once in his life thought Orin would turn against him, and as much of an egomaniac as he became, his love for her was always genuine - misguided, but genuine, and he never once wished for her death until she betrayed him. Realizing this, as well as that Bhaal would only accept one chosen, she struck, putting the tadpole in his head and sending him off to Kressa.