#anyway i feel like shit and feel guilty about it

[lsunstreakerl]

honestly, any strange ship, a while ago you had commented about Sebastian being a "guilty" "ship" something strange or guilty in that sense

this did not end up being sebastian- I mean, he's kind of there. I also need just not try and estimate word counts because this ended up being 1.3k. HI HELLO: this is from the kink prompts so it is explicit in nature, as in people are fucking and getting fucked.

pairings: mark webber/max verstappen, max verstappen/marc márquez, implied mark webber/sebastian vettel, implied daniel ricciardo/max verstappen

relevant heads up: slight exhibitionist kink, semi-socially acceptable public sex, sex under the influence of alcohol, the slightest hint of a temperature kink, mild slut shaming

Max doesn't make a habit of feeling out of place at parties, considering how often he's at them, but this-

This is totally different to anything else he knows. They're in some huge remote cabin-style resort, a weeklong trip entirely paid by Redbull.

Everyone in attendance is either an insane talent in their respect area, or a revered alum, which is how Max has found himself on his knees, Mark Webber's cock down his throat, with Sebastian Vettel piping in with incredibly unhelpful instructions.

"Little bit more tongue, yes, like that- he loves that. Hates to admit it, but nothing gets him off faster- also you'll want to close your eyes when he comes, he likes to get it all over the face, nasty-"

"Shut up."

Mark's talking to Sebastian, but Max is the one who gets his hair pulled roughly, which really doesn't feel fair here- he's not mouthing off, and it's not his fault Mark and Seb still don't have their shit figured out.

He makes a muffled noise around Mark, who groans at the vibrations, and Max realizes with a twinge of annoyance that he actually has been listening to Seb- which is fucking stupid, if Seb wants to suck Mark's cock he can come do it himself, but Max is going to do it his way.

He doesn't give any kind of warning, just watches his teeth before suddenly taking Mark all the way to the base, breathing through his nose.

He's not as impressive as Da- some other Australians Max has gotten on his knees for before.

Mark chokes on an inhale, fingers clenching in Max's hair, and Max grins to himself, because he's not Sebastian Vettel, and no matter how badly Mark wants to dominate a blonde bratty European Redbull world champion, he's not going to find it in Max.

Max deliberately moans, low and long, and Mark's hips jerk before they snap frantically into his mouth.

"Fuck- fuck, Sebastian-"

Oh come on.

People who can't call Max by his name do not get to come on his face, so he doesn't let up, keeps Mark down his throat as he comes, and it's longer than Max expected for a guy in his late forties, honestly.

Seb just laughs from his chair, and Max shoots him a glare as he pulls off, already thinking of which drink he's going to wash down the taste with.

"Cunts."

They can be weird and off putting and miserable together, Max doesn't care. It wasn't even that good anyways, and now he's not going to be able to look Oscar in the eye for a few weeks.

He stalks into the kitchen, passes Coulthard in the hallway, hopes he doesn't look too much like he just sucked off a retired driver in one of the lounge rooms.

Not that it would be surprising- Max had been freaked out the first time he was here, but he gets it now- it's like the Olympic Village. Redbull takes their hot, talented athletes, sticks them in a resort for a week, and lets them fuck like rabbits in the hopes of avoiding sex related PR crisis for the rest of the year.

It works pretty well.

He's checking for gin, fingers dancing over bottle caps, when a hand wraps around his waist, and Max knows that hand.

"Marc!"

He spins around, and then he has an armful of excitable MotoGP rider, hips pressing Max's into the counter while he's busy getting his tongue in his mouth.

Marc tastes like vodka and fireball, and Max wants to drink it straight from his system, wants to-

He pulls back for a second, meeting Marc's eyes. Marc is down for anything- Max loves that about him. The MotoGP guys know how to party.

"Do you want to do body shots and fuck on the pool table?"

Marc yanks his head back down to continue making out, one arm scrabbling behind Max for a familiar clink of a few bottles.

He pulls back to reach for some limes, and then he's grinning at Max, with his trademark brilliant smile.

"Yes!"

------

"Fuck- Marc, please, you are going to kill me-"

Max isn't used to being the one with his dick inside someone, but he's flat on his back on the table, and Marc is tight and hot and wet, sinking down onto Max, one hand braced on his chest as he grins at him.

Max tosses his head back onto the table, and his fingers are digging into Marc's thighs, corded muscle straining under his palms.

His mouth still tastes like lime and liquor, and he's pretty sure his neck is crusted with salt, and he's trying so hard not buck his hips up-

"You are so cute when you're trying to be good."

Max shudders, hands gripping tighter, and Marc is practically purring at him, because the game is that Max can't come first, and he was going to lose from the fucking start. They both knew it.

"Marc- Marc I'm gonna come, please please can I-"

Marc just shakes his head, eyes crinkled at the corner as he changes his pace on the next slide down, tight and irresistible. Max can feel himself shaking, closer and closer to the edge, and he squeezes his eyes shut, one last time-

Marc's fingers come down to pinch his nipples, and they're dripping with ice water, cold and freezing.

Max comes with a scream, back arching off the table, the sound of Marc's laughter ringing in his ears.

He's still riding the wave when Marc gets off of him, and then Max is being manhandled, rolled onto his chest as Marc knocks his knees apart. Everything is hot and cold and sensitive, and he's glad Daniel stretched him out earlier, because Marc pushes two fingers into him off the bat, scissoring Max open as he groans into the table.

"Aw, you are all loose. Whore."

Marc spits into him, and Max keens, scratchy fabric of the pool table rough against his chest, and then Marc is pushing in, splitting him wide, an endless press.

It's unfair for a man that small to be this hung.

Max is overwhelmed, slurring into the table as Marc snaps his hips in, and it's too soon from his last orgasm- he feels raw and peeled open, which is exactly when Marc leans over him, chest pressed to his back, and shoves three fingers and an ice cube into Max's mouth.

He bucks back onto Marc's cock at the sensation, the heat of his fingers and the chill of the ice, and he realizes what's next a second too late, squirming as Marc brings his other hand to wrap around his still soft cock, fingers ice cold.

"Ohhhhh, please, please-"

Marc nips at his back, and Max can feel him smiling at he starts to jack his hand, and it's too much- he feels too full, he's too raw and overwhelmed, he's pretty sure people are watching them-

Marc aims deliberately for his prostate, and Max is wailing, tips over into his second orgasm brutally, shaking to pieces underneath Marc.

He doesn't stop- his rhythm picks up, chasing his own pleasure- Max is limp, lets Marc use him however he wants, and he can't tell if it's seconds or minutes later when Marc snaps in for a final time, hips pressed flush against his ass.

Max slumps down as Marc pulls out, and then there's fingers gently patting at his cheek.

"You are as always very fun, Verstappen."

Max blinks, tries to get his brain started back up.

"Yup."

Marc giggles, and then he's gently kissing Max for a moment- he tastes like lime again.

"Thank you, you are very sweet- for being a slut."

Max half chokes on a laugh, because, well-

He kind of is. He's laid out on the pool table at what is technically a company event, and just tonight he's given multiple blowjobs, been fucked twice, and he's just come back to back.

It's a good thing they have mandatory testing before they get here.

"Anytime, Márquez."

[hanasnx]

to the anon that sent me the peter x 18yo thing about how guilty he feels and her texting him wanting to hook up again, i want you to know this is part of the canon in my head actually. like maybe i posted about this before i can’t remember, but peter feels like shit as soon as he hears her age, whereas she’s like trying to start something up, blowing up his phone, trying to fuck again while he’s having this personal crisis and his friends are grilling the fuckk outta him. anyways i couldn’t answer your anon so i answered here

[captainjamesjoneshook]

@pall0r-mortis

...jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, what was wrong with this guy?

Actually, James didn't want to know. It was probably very sad and very heartbreaking. If he heard it, it would no doubt pull at the empathy he unfortunately harbored within and then he would feel guilty for not liking him and– there was always a reason people acted the way they did. It would be easier to believe people were just mean or annoying for the sake of it, because then there was no reason to give it right back.

Or, you could be like his dad and not care what anyone's story was and just be mean to them anyway.

Either way, James figured it was probably better to not get into the nitty gritty. The real nitty gritty, anyway. Not the kid or marriage talk he'd been joking with before– the stuff that would actually strike nerves and turn this into an actual fight rather than a game. Especially with the dad talk. He didn't know that Sid had come prepared for a cage match, but James wasn't sure he'd make it out of it alive. As satisfying as it would be to get the first punch off, Sid seemed like he had reserves for days and James would be reduced to nothing but a smear on the pavement.

Besides, it wasn't like Sid would want him to ask, right? This was a joke. He didn't actually give a shit about James, he was just trying to get James to give a shit about him to have a laugh. Or something. He still hadn't figured that bit out yet.

"You did, you said–!" James started to reply only to stop himself. He breathed in deeply and let it go. "Whatever. Moving on; Yes. I have stuff I want to do in mind, but like I said, when I can do them will depend on when I can recover. That takes a while, you know? I'm– I'm relearning a whole bunch of shit that used to be easy! Sorry I can't have any large ambitions when I'm takes me half an hour to gather everything for a bowl of bloody cereal– it's not as if I don't want to do things but I can't right now!"

And whoops, he'd gotten heated anyway.

"It's not my life," Sid replied, quite directly and there was no pretty imagery to go along with the sentiment like the way that James described it. Because that was all well and good for James, if he wanted to be poetic about it Sid wasn't going to call him on it, he just didn't really see anything poetic in his own situation.

"It's not the place, it could be any place and I would feel just the same, it's just not the place I'm supposed to be." He continued, and the edges of those words felt brittle, of course there was some bitterness behind them but it wasn't directed at the town, it wasn't directed at James, as much as Sid enjoyed projecting his irritation on things around him he knew the reason why he was so fully frustrated being there. "I'm here because my father needs me to be here, and I wasn't going to say no to that." Although it was more the case that he couldn't say no, but that fell firmly into the realms of things James did not need to know.

Paul would have been furious anyway if he thought Sid was making the implication that he was in some dire state; it was unacceptable. Like most of the conversation would have been unacceptable since it wasn't getting him any closer to what he actually needed from James.

That town was more likely to have a hand wrapped around his throat than holding his hand, Sid reflected, but he didn't say that. He just gave what amounted to a shrug of his shoulders. Sid knew what was missing in that town that he needed; he did not have the obscurity that felt like safety. If anyone looked too closely they would notice the things that were different, and those were the things that Sid didn't want people noticing. Those were the things that Sid covered over with more glaring details, wrapped them up in clothes that made people label him off as a problem and flat expressions that convinced others they didn't want to talk to him; for as much of that image was so fully himself it was also camouflage that he felt secure in.

An idea he was sure he wouldn't be able to explain to someone like James; the pretty boy next door (Sid wasn't blind, thanks) type who was such a staple in town that people stopped to chat on the street with.

"So you wouldn't be escaping, and you don't care if you go somewhere else; so what do you care about?" Sid was honestly baffled by how lackadaisical James was on the idea; he had no reference for the concept of just taking life as it came along. That sounded like such a foreign idea that he could barely wrap his head around it. "You're just not going to do anything until something comes along for you to do?" It became progressively more perplexing the longer he tried to reason through this idea, the confusion started to become more apparent in his expression as he talked, a tiny hint of envy joining it because how did someone just not have a plan they had to follow?

"Who said I didn't like the dreams," he mumbled, he hadn't said that directly. But what did those brief escapes offer him that weren't going to be more of a sting after they were gone?

@captainjamesjoneshook

[terryfuckingturniptruck]

Called out of work today and I feel super guilty.

[butterflysonnets]

absolutely insane that mike literally p a n i c k e d when will was like "well what about us?" because will wasn't even really making things gay he was honest to god just inquiring about the state of their estranged friendship and wondering why mike didn't make time to talk to him when they're supposed to be best friends but MIKE was the one having an aneurysm like "🏳️‍🌈⁉️ W H AT!!"

“WE'RE FRIENDS” “i know mike” “WE'RE!!! F R I E N D S!!” “right so why don't you call me — ” “I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND” “… that in no way answers my question"

[arashi-no-saxlphone]

Ok I know people on here probably already know this but like. I want to say. Asuka blowing up Japan was not just a "Haha I'm gonna just do this" it was a "Oh fuck what the fuck is happening we need to aim this so the entire earth doesn't get fucked" and last ditch directed it at Japan. I AM NOT EXCUSING THAT! I AM NOT SAYING ASUKA NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THE EVENTS CORRECTLY! Asuka's main goal in turning Aria into Justice was to prevent the Gear Project from being used for war so he created Justice out of Aria (THIS is something you can hate him for this is an extremely fucked up thing to do and I'm not going to analyze what he did to Fredrick and Aria in this post because that's a whole other can of worms) as a command type Gear to be able to PREVENT total war by taking control of ALL gears. However UNBEKNOWNST to him the Universal Will was taking control of Justice/Aria as she awoke and was going to destroy humanity (because The Original fucked up in making the Universal Will and some weird clause happened where "protect humanity" ended up being "humanity is a threat to itself so they all have to die") by mutating the people in Japan into bombs. Asuka realized that if it went on like this the world might be destroyed and in the moment he redirected Justice with the last bit of control he had over her using Manual Override to just destroy Japan to prevent this. It was NOT an easy or light decision that he had time to make! He had to try and stop the Gear Project from being used for warfare and destruction, TWICE, and failed both times and ended up destroying the world anyway. He put the Flame of Corruption in Frederick and turned him into a gear as a failsafe before this, likely because Asuka ONLY had Frederick and Aria to rely on as friends at all. IN ABSOLUTELY NO WAY IS HE ABSOLVED OF ANY OF THOSE CRIMES! HE HASN'T EVEN ABSOLVED HIMSELF! HE DID NOT CHOOSE TO BECOME A MONSTER DOING FUCKED UP SHIT FOR NO REASON HE WAS IN A DIFFICULT POSITION BECAUSE OF WHAT HE CREATED WITH FREDERICK AND ARIA!! HE PLANS TO KILL HIMSELF IN HIS STRIVE ARCADE MODE FROM THE GUILT! STOP MAKING ME GO TO BAT FOR ASUKA BECAUSE PEOPLE WON'T READ! ALL OF THIS IS ON THE GGWIKI YOU ONLY NEED TO READ 2 OR 3 ENTRIES TO GET THAT BASIC LEVEL OF INFORMATION!! PLEASE!

I linked Asuka here but also seeing the entry for "Japan" will explain the situation. I am. NOT saying. Asuka was right. I AM saying that the idea that this is a wholly Black and White "everything in the world is his fault" situation is a GROSS FLANDERIZATION and oversimplification of what is an EXTREMELY compelling, horrifying, and tragic story of a man paving his way to hell with good intentions and I need. People to stop talking about Asuka or Chaos lore when they're on screen in Strive when they don't know what the hell they're talking about. Please.

[angelpuns]

Pretty sure my parents think I'm a heartless freak but like idk what I'm really supposed to do about that-

[creepedfinn]

cait defenders are the most annoying people in the world

[ef-1]

🍷<3

[helmarok]

romeo roleplaying as his favorite OC to beat the shit out of his other OC who he hates very much

[edwinisms]

I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.

they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.

teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.

[shatterthefragments]

And she fucking needs to reschedule her appt. She always wants to do it together with someone. But no. Of course you wouldn’t be able to sleep if you never sleep at those hours anyway. Of course not.

And fine. We’ll reschedule bc what other choice is there. But. Yeah. “I’m sorry”

I gave up my weekend to cater to this bc otherwise I could’ve gone another day to get my new Covid vaccine. I could’ve booked for another time. I could’ve used this day to go in and borrow dad’s car so I could’ve gone to a waterfall or beach even though it’s freezing.

And now I’m probably going to have to give up next weekend - ASSUMING there’s appointments left for then. My last two day weekend before my semester starts and I split my days off. Which is fine. It’s my choice. But I was hoping to do some stuff on my own :(.

And she probably doesn’t. Fuck. I still need to take her for bloodwork (overdue) and picking up an updated will since the sis and I are adults now and it might be A Thing that it needed to be updated. And not to be like especially given their health and that they’ve both had Covid now. But. I worry. I’m not really in a position to be able to support the household even if we inherited and there aren’t taxes. But I’d have to hold it together. I’m older.

She won’t drive herself to go do these things.

(But I have to drive myself now if I can’t bus there).

And I get having anxiety. I am anxious too.

But for it to get so bad years and years ago that it severely affects your family AND your family has asked you to get help several times (on a regular basis too. Bc we’re not professionals and can’t really help you. Especially when you don’t even agree to come along and just sit in the car as I drive around) it’s frustrating. (How would we have turned out if you had actually sought help for your mental illness? And why do I just KNOW that you’ll blame yourself for our mental illness. That we have to hide any attempts to better our own so that you don’t blame yourself?)

Who could we have been if any of us had been diagnosed?

I shouldn’t have had to deal with that as a child. In elementary school. Especially when I was already suicidal on my own anyway.

And yes. I resent you.

“I bet you wish for a different mother”

Yeah. One that fucking tried a little bit harder to get help before it got this bad. Before having us preferably. One that when asked to get help - agrees. Even if we’d have to arrange and just get you in the car and escort you there.

One that even occasionally stuck to anything you say you’ll do.

When I couldn’t even rely on you as a child. An older child.

“At least I raised you to not do drugs or lie. Or drink soda.”

I never felt safe to tell the truth of course I lie to you sometimes. I’ve craved nothing more than the sweet release of oblivion sometimes. Painful violence with flavour isn’t fun.

And then now. You’re. Even now. You’re so judgemental. “You’re such a rebel now”

For what?! Getting tattoos?! That I’ve always wanted!!

I am frustrated.

You wonder why I try to go out of the house and do things?

I hate staying here. But where else am I going to have so much space? And not have to pay a formal rent?

Urges are there. But. Can’t. It never helped to hurt myself anywhere near as much I needed. And I have healing tattoo and touch up’s right now. Im ok though. I don’t. I don’t do it like that.

I need food is what I need but fuck I’m annoyed.

[chaos0pikachu]

some of y'all are straight up unhinged about Mame and tharntype like Mame is a bigot now? All her work comes from a place of hate and bigotry?? ppl can only like tharntype out of nostalgia and not actual like the show itself?? we're just speaking over queer folks who give tons of reasons why they like the show b/c they can't "tell the difference between fiction and reality"? Mame is "exploiting her trauma by making money off it" and oh no that's bad b/c I said so! (fucking tell me you watch nothing but BL without telling me)

but y'all out here loving kinnporsche and saying vegaspete is the only good thing about the show I can't anymore

[inkbagel]

This collab I joined like eight months ago that I didn’t really enjoy being in finally got posted today but for some reason only on twitter and I don’t go there so I can’t even see the whole thing :/

[fadeintoyou1993]

having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?

[okitanoniisan]

i keep saying i need to make some zhaoryu shit but i'm back on my y5 kazusaeji bullshit again they are just so. m