#anyway guys i think im gonna maybe take a year off of school idk... im thinking about it...

[ilovecoelacanths]

if youre ever doing bad in school and then you have a day where you are feeling productive and like you can actually get some work done, DO NOT look at your grades for your classes. thats the devil talking. youll see those grades and hit a wall and wont get anything done. trust me. i know the temptation is real. im on canvas and i see that little grades tab and i wanna click it soooooo bad but NO. if i look at it i will be too stressed to do anything that could actually lead to fixing it.

[official212th]

ok so i just finished this book the eighth arrow and god knows nobody reads any of my posts so im just gonna put some thoughts here.

first of all: this book is so so so good yet such a fucking trip to read because it is written by a priest. and 90% of the time its a great take on greek legends and mythos and also has some truly ridiculous homoerotic subtext. but then every couple chapters you get a remind that wow. this was written by a priest. spoiler warning but odysseus legit converts to christianity at the end which is actually hilarious. and ok, the priest who wrote it works at a catholic school that is actually in the same city as i am and i will say i appreciated how he very clearly planned to use this book in either theology or english classes, because it was absolutely 100% a metaphor for redemption in catholicism and the idea of mercy and forgiveness. guys i know what im talking about i also go to catholic school. but the way he frames it as a story that's ostensibly not about christianity, but he sneaks in a few metaphors and buzzwords (the disclaimer at the beginning, in which odysseus says he actually made the whole story up, talks about how he was "judged worthy" and "redeemed" and talks about God's grace and providence. which is pretty standard fare for your average high school theology class.) specific to christianity and even catholicism (some of the beliefs regarding redemption in here are pretty unique to catholicism and i don't think some protestants would like this book very much)

second of all did i mention the homoerotic subtext? because wow. honestly it wasn't even subtext it was just text. the whole book is about odysseus and diomedes and their journey through dante's inferno. but it starts off talking about how the two of them are "imprisoned in a single flame" for 3,000 years (ok buddy not sounding too straight to me) and they kind of have a friends to enemies to friends thing happen but like the whole reason they become enemies is odysseus doesn't realize or acknowledge diomedes' love for him??? (GAY)

im going to back myself up with sources. proteus (weird old guy that's there like half the time) says to odysseus "that man really loves you. He loves you more than he loves his own father. More than he's ever loved anyone, I suspect. And that is a sacred thing, a love like that" and does the priest writing it maybe mean it in the way that God loves us? maybe but thats not how i'm interpreting it! anyways i really liked how (spoiler warning again although if you're avoiding spoilers for this book idk how you got this far) odysseus and diomedes are bffs but also fight. like really bad. like almost-killed-each-other bad. and then they have a really nice moment in which diomedes almost dies and odysseus is like "wait i love u youre my family pls dont die" and then they team up and save the day. its so sick. i love gay people.

[becauseplot]

it’s Stupid Hours (aka way too early in the morning) and after 0.2 seconds of searching on YouTube ive come to the conclusion that there is no qsmp John Mulaney “The One Thing” animatic yet and ive gotta say guys. im disappointed.(/lh) im so used to every fandom having at least one The One Thing animatic that realizing there isn’t one for qsmp is bonkers to me. i’ve watched so many of these over the years that if you played The One Thing audio, i could probably recite it in time w the audio (i won’t say from memory bc my memory is shit.)

anyway here’s what i would personally do for a The One Thing animatic if i could draw. remember that this is gonna be skewed to the POVs im more familiar with so im sorry if your cubito doesn’t make it into the role you’d expect. i tried to include as many people as possible.

Edit: "Back in high school..." - not really necessary, but i imagine this story/"AU" taking place during the egg disappearance, which would explain the overly chaotic behavior of the islanders. not that they ever need a reason to be chaotic.

Narrator - Charlie. he’s not on the server as often but bc of that he would make a good “outside” pov narrator. also he’s just a got a really quick-with-it type of humor, cracking jokes and puns and doing wordplay/inprov’d songs at the drop of a hat, and he also loves telling stories.

Mr. Macnimara - Cucurucho. “And Mr. Macnimara was an asshole.” need i say more?

Jake Macnimara - Jaiden. beloved bird of the Federation, though that absolutely would not stop her from throwing a wild party for her friends in their offices if she could. Edit: also Quackity would make a really good option here. Cringefail man that the Federation likes to toy with, we love to see it. Also with his shit luck it makes sense that a party that he decides to host at the Fed offices (a bad idea in the first place tbf) would blow up in his face so hard.

(Bonus: Mrs. Macnimara - the Duck. the Watcher. ElQuackity. idk who’s funnier just whoever your heart desires.)

“And we all got up individually and thought: okay, let’s go over there, and destroy the place.” - split screen of Cellbit, Baghera, Maxo, and Bad. there could be more, like Mike, Etoiles, Phil, Tubbo, really anyone who hates the Federation and/or has an affinity for chaos. Foolish would be a really fucking funny option for this one because yeah he works for the Feds but He Absolutely Would. all of the characters would get up calmly, and on the word “destroy” flip to a Chaos Mode Engaged expression (Cellbit with a grin and bloodstains on his cheeks, Baghera w flames behind her and in her eyes, etc etc)

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off” - Tubbo and his backpack of 3749588383 chainsaws. tazerraft could also be a good option considering Pac’s love of beheading people and Mike’s generally unhinged behavior. tbh just anyone/everyone in morning crew.

Person who breaks the pool table - Etoiles. someone would dare him to and he’d get so fucking excited he would absolutely HURL himself at that pool table. (dogboy behavior)

Person who takes a shit on the computer - … look ive been blankly staring at this one for like 7 fucking minutes. my heart says Aypierre but i could not tell you why. just. anyone who would absolutely do some rancid, unhinged shit when given the opportunity. Foolish again maybe. idk.

Edit: "Something something, police." - Jaiden, if she isn't Jake Macnimara. She would totally say it in a "LOL UH-OH" manner. If not, I could also imagine Missa, Bagi, or Fit nervously/bluntly trying to warn people while laughing.

“Fuck da police!” - “Fuck da Feds!”/“Fuck da Federation!” from what i can tell, Charlie doesn’t have an active animosity towards the Federation, but a lot of his friends do, and he will do anything, ANYTHING to commit to the bit. he will do ANYTHING for the funnies, and if he thinks that shouting “Fuck da Feds!” at the top of his lungs is going to get a reaction out of people, he absolutely will.

Edit: "'I served my nickel, you come and take me!' confidence." - Mike. I have such a strong mental image of Mike drunkenly shouting this while Pac and Fit hold him up/hold him back. Fuga references my beloved. Also the fact that he was put in a Fed freezer for a while.

The Police - the Federation workers. obviously. bonus points for one unnamed guard/officer being impressed like “wooooow :0” and then widening the shot to reveal an unamused Agent 18 standing next to them, leaning into his walkie talkie saying, “Get the paddy wagon.”

“SCATTER!” - Phil. (if you know you know.) generally, people who don’t know Phil tend to think he’s pretty chill, so no one would expect him to do something like that. also when Charlie says “And my friend John—” it would cut to a ‘pause screen’ over the scene, Charlie coming on screen to clarify the “father” and “baby” parts by providing helpful pop-up images of family pictures with Chayanne, Tallulah, and Missa on screen. Resumes, presses play and the screen clears: “He grabbed a 40…”

Edit: "Until, two years later..." - again, not really necessary, but it could be something like, "Until, after Purgatory..."

Alex (guy who stole the photos) - Roier. HEAR ME OUT. Roier, similar to Phil, is just such an unassuming guy. he’s cheery and laughs a lot and cracks jokes, but deep down, he’s smart and he’s got a burning HATRED for the Federation. he’s not the kind of guy to start fights, but with everyone else causing chaos at the party, breaking shit in the offices/house, he would absolutely take the opportunity to steal Federation documents for his husband’s investigations. (or antique photos, if you want to keep with the high school setting/theme.) i mean he stole a fucking lamp from their offices once just because there was so much shit going on and he knew the Feds probably wouldn’t notice (iirc).

Edit: SOMETHING I FORGOT TO MENTION ABOUT ROIER. you could totally make the line “because it’s the one thing you can’t replace” a reflection of Bobby, who the Federation ‘killed’, so now he’s getting back at them. (i’ve put way too much thought into this.)

anyway that’s all! feel free to contribute if u want i just really love The One Thing. it’s an older fandom meme but yeah it still checks out.

(the sheer number of edits to this thing really speaks to how much it lives in my head lmaooo. there's more details but im not gonna include them here bc they're too visual.)

[scover-va]

I need to know more about Michael's mom... Is she a cool mom?

SHE IS A VERY COOL MOM janet afton you will always be famous. to me

Im taking this as a chance to finally ramble abt her anyways so Janet's core inspo when designing her was to avoid 2 key things. Don't make her like Immortal & Th Restless's Clara (due to clara representing michael, not mrs afton, so i wanted to avoid that), and don't base her too heavily off of Ballora. I still have ties to Ballora's character (a music-based theme, blue-centric colour palette, im sure there were more basic ideas but everything else is more hc than themes to keep up) due to my hc thingy of each Funtime having ties to William's wife + kids, but yknow.

But yeah. Funky lady who played bass guitar + did backup vocals in a band during her high school and college years. Literally her and William dating can be summed up by "Seriously, what do you see in that guy?!" "He makes me laugh." bc she was and is WAY out of his goddamn league. Not just bc of the whole serial killer thing he was just an even bigger loser in college. Normal people dont develop a crush on a woman after she nearly breaks your nose and makes you bleed, William /j

But yeah uhh. I also dont like the idea of her being absent or neglectful purely because I got way too attached to her (i was originally gonna do that just to make things easy for myself but. Pretty lady,,, I am a very simple lesbian what can i say) so like. She obviously wasnt the greatest, most fantastic mom to ever exist given she was kinda maybe sorta well aware William was making some weird fucking clowns, but like. Hey. She tried. Also side note my reasoning for her being absent during the whole. Yknow. '83 event (and just evan's bday in general) is bc Evan + Elizabeth are twins and Elizabeth demanded a girls-only trip for her bday, and Janet promised Evan she'd do something just as special for him when she got back. That never happened bc he died lmao loser /j

But yeah uhh. Shes got a lot of regrets. Wishes she coulda done a lot of things better. Kinda dies with those regrets. Ive seen people say that one of fnaf's charms is that no character is 100% good and i LOVE that, and wanted to keep it up with Janet. Good mom and overall a good person, however made some bad decisions along the way and whatnot.

Im still working out specifics (ive been slowly working on a lil private fic abt her and william meeting + their early relationship) but uhhh. Minor notes that dont get their own paragraphs is that William sampled her voice for Ballora so yay easy voice claim, she had an on and off relationship with her band's lead singer (her name's Bev), her birth name is actually Janice Schmidt but if you call her Janice she'll knock at least 2 of ur teeth out, she's a runaway teen and got adopted by this older couple bc her home life kinda sucked (idk specifics yet), and also girlie has an extensive criminal record of minor angsty teen type charges. Also teen Mike dying his hair and then 2020's Michael's hairstyle are both kinda references to Janet's hair because he wnated to look less like his father. Thats all ty. No read more bc you WILL look at my mrs afton post, boy /j

Actually no theres more that im remembering as i write the tags and edit a few details. Back to her and William because god im insane about them. So for starters it. Well i was gonna say Janet was def the first to flirt but i think William definitely developed a crush first and they only kept talking bc of said crush so its kinda up for debate. Anyways yeah at first it was a HUGE sorta like "Well he's funny especially when I fluster him so this can be just a fun lil thing" but because they chatted more they def kinda like. Clicked more. William was a huge fan of listening to her music (from. a distance. he looked kinda like a creep but at least janet only misinterpreted it once) but like *specifically* janet he didnt give a fucking shit abt the rest of the band. Uhh. They had their first run-in and janet kinda. Well. Punched him in the nose before he cleared up that he is NOT a pervert or anything weird like that (bc a guy that looks older than he is staring from a distance when there is a clear crowd he could join kinda gave janet the Wrong idea), then they later bumped into each other in the hall and chatted for a bit, then they kinda just kept "accidentally" running into one another. Uhhh. Some cigaerette-themed flirting and a house party later, yay dating :] can you tell where the current cut-off of the fic is /j Also idk how to put this down properly but they are both runaways and can kinda. Get that vibe from one another. Literally Michael is like some fucked up abomination of the both of them between the troubled past + weird situationship thing + runaway stuff + a lot of minor details that arent important rn. I just. Yeah Janet means the world to me go thru her tag on my blog for some art. Not all of my janet art is posted but the non-posted stuff is all concept work/doodles or just. Shit im too embarrassed to post lmao. Anyways NOW im done ty for reading

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

ILL GO OVER IT VAGUELY CUZ ITS A LOT AND IM TOO LAZY

AHEM

to start off, even though i did i say i planned on cutting them off, it felt like they were genuine when they apologized cuz they didnt act that way, maybe its bc i didnt hang out w them much after that cuz it was summer but basically i changed my mind)

so b4 i explain why, you need background info. basically like in march (b4 i confronted them in june) friend b came up to me like idk in march and said they had a secret but wont tell me but she said she'll tell at the end of the school year, then when i asked she tried to gaslit me into thinking it never happened.... 🥰 i forgot abt it thinking it was no big deal (like wtf is this kindergarten or smth...)

ANYWAY FASTFORWARD TO LIKE LAST WEEK

we're in highschool now and i have gym with friend a, and SHE brought it up, i asked her she said she cant tell me w/o friend b givng her permission. and i was kinda pissed cuz why bring it up if ur not gonna tell me???? also whats such a big deal that you wont tell me 🤨 but i didnt rlly say anything mean but i kept asking cuz i rlly wanted to know.

but she brought it up AGAIN the next day during lunch (she was also acting kinda distant from that day at gym)

so that afternoon i called my other friend (who hangs out w us at lunch)and my bestie and told them whats happening cuz i wanted to know if i was being dramatic by wanting to know (they were aware of what happened in june btw).

anyway with them on call i asked both of the seperately but they kept acting dumb, then in the gc i told them i was being serious and asked them, Then i got mad at them cuz they weren't taking me seriously :3

and i lashed out on them and told them i were gonna cut them off if they were gonna keep acting like kindergarteners and lie to me

they still didnt take me seriously, but my friend did end up telling me (like after 30 mins of me asking them again and again)

and basically they were (or more like only of them but the other one knew and didnt tell me) impersonating a guy on snap that i was talking to, (only as a friend tho, i started talking to "him" bc my friend who was impersonating him introduced us ) this rlly just was like my wake up moment and i was like no fuck you im done

OH AND back when we started talking to "him" i came up with a theory that it was my friend but my other friend told her and she kinda like cussed me out saying i was stupid for thinking that.....

anyway they thought i was threatening them by saying i was gonna cut them off for some reason but i left our gc and a few other ones. and my friend kept messaging in the other gc's saying "you forgot this one" and stuff and kept joking around

(also friend A asked abt a gift friend b gave me for my birthday asking what i was gonna do with it, and i said ill give it back idc but thats such a cheap thing to say when i cut them off)

ANYWAY the next day i wanted to give back the hoodie but i didnt rlly wanna talk to her, so i gave it to my friend who had a class with her.. and after school one of my other friends (who was on call w me) was going to a crochet club with her after school and told her that she wanted to talk to me cuz she didnt know why she was getting dropped. she also said that she got angry when my friend gave her the hoodie instead of me cuz she wanted to talk to me......she couldve came up to me during lunch or gym but she didnt?? but like wtv 🙂

THEN i texted her cuz i thought it wouldnt be fair if i didnt explain told her my reasons (kind of argued?? idk)

but i made it clear that i was NOT interested in giving 3rd chances and she said okay (ngl they were making stupid excuses too but still apologized....felt fake af tho)

sighhh but yeah basically what happened...nothing much 🥰 totally wasnt sobbing when it all went down

ANYWHOOOOO imlovingthenewsmau sedfghjkl.

P.S can i be added to ur taglisttt

🐺⛓️🥀

:3

THE FUCK ?1??1?1

the catfishing is actually crazy but coincidentally one of my friends also catfished me in middle school… well tried to i knew it was her immediately😍 BUT that being the secret that they were keeping from u or whatever is so fucked up?? especially when they were so omg teheee we’re not going to tell u stop askingggg (but then kept bringing it up like they were having fun watching u want to know so badly??? i almost said smth real mean whew) anyway they’re just acting stupid by “not knowing” y u dropped them and im very glad u did!!! bc u do not deserve that nor need that in ur life 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ especially not when ur just starting highschool so !!! proud of u !!!

and yes u can b added to the taglist :3

[decaydanceunredacted]

yay💞 trans ryan not!fic time. obligatory disclaimer this is not meant 2 be speculative at ALL or representative of all trans experiences etc etc its just for funzies hokay. i am crazy. but i am free

we'll do transguy ryan first. in my mind the timeline is that he starts seriously learning ab queerness sometime in high school, super burying himself online + in books all the time. tries to be a tomboy, butch, but it just doesnt rly work. so he tells spencer one summer, hey, i think im a guy. goes through senior year knowing but not telling anyone else, except for maybe a couple more friends, spencers mom. buys new clothes and keeps his hair short and his head down til the summer after graduation; doesnt even tell brendon hes trans once brendon joins the band, brendons just like alright cool youre a guy with a girly voice whatev. he does come out to him soon enough since they get pretty close but for the most part fully intends on keeping stealth, esp as the band gets bigger, bigger, and it seriously turns into a ticket outta there.

he doesnt manage to start taking t until around mid 2006 and the costumes + makeup help a lot a lot in dealing w heavy dysphoria+general discomfort around that time and with being perceived ssooo much so fast. he got top surgery around 07 and cabin era was yes in part to make a new album but also he spent it recovering. he was able to mellow out a lot in 07/08 in big part thanks to finally being comfortable in his own body. yay💖 idk if he'd ever come out publicly or stay stealth forever. maybe? anyway

tgirl ryan is a different story entirely. it starts sort of the same - finding blogs & books about queerness about halfway through high school, and it all resonates way too deep, too much. instead of coming out, she refuses to think about it and refuses to talk about it and refuses to let comments from the public, from the press, from her friends and bandmates and pete about could be pretty for a girl, and are you sure youre not gay? get to her. again, the makeup & the costumes are solace. bending and experimenting and maybe, sometimes, seeing herself in the mirror, and still being able to snap back into place: say see, dont worry, its just for show. and she doesnt really mean to ever let it slip but its 2007, theyre supposed to be making a new album but it sort of feels like theyre making a new -- something else entirely, and, well, theyre doing a lot of drugs. she asks, do you think im a girl? sort of vaguely, the ceiling is spinning and everyones quiet, too quiet, she almost thinks none of them are there and shes gonna sit up to see shes alone in her room, until jon says: i dont know, i think thats up to you. she sits up, and everyones looking at her. not judging; mostly just curious, confused.

ryan tells them, yes, she likes her name. it can be a girls name, right? she already chose it once. so they still call her ryan but they start calling her her in private, because, she says, hell no, shes not coming out to everyone. not any time soon, at least.

things are way easier, way more comfortable, just like that, for a while. being out to even just a select few is a big weight off; its easy enough to tune out everyone else. but as time goes on it becomes more and more obvious, its definitely not sustainable for the long term.

so the band falls apart. so its just her and jon. they do a couple shows and the venues are way smaller, the attention is dying down, and thats when she tells him, okay, i want to come out.

its just one interview, she tries to keep it lowkey, telling everyone in her immediate circle first and telling them yes, yes, please, call me a woman in public. dont make me do all the work.

so thats how it happens. its not easy, by any means, but she starts estrogen and lets her hair grow out and curl, smiles hard when jon refers to her easily, correctly on stage, in front of everyone, and so maybe its all worth it; to be comfortable like this, in her own skin. and maybe it pays off in ways she didnt even think of, too -- someone in the audience, one night, passing up a trans flag for her to put on the mic stand.

.

[savethepinecones]

1, 16, 20, 25! + any one of your choosing

1: what is your nickname?

i dont have any based on my name since its already v short but ive had internet folks call me pinecones or piney and i like those!

16: what do you think makes you attractive?

i think physically my eyes are my best feature but if were talking personality uhh i guess ive got a solid sense of humor?

20: whats a totally random and useless fact that you know?

every piece of knowledge ive ever had just abandoned me lol. if you feel like youre going to sneeze you can stop it by touching the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth a few times, like if you were saying la la la (i think i was told youre supposed to say "pineapple" but its the tongue thing thats the actually effective part)

25: do you/have you played any sports?

oh man. i did gymnastics for a bit when i was like four. tried ballet when i was seven but eventually decided to pursue piano instead (my mom had my sister and i try both for a year and then pick one to stick with). i also was on a soccer team at some point, maybe in first grade? i actually dont remember it at all but i vaguely remember looking at the team photos. also i remember the high socks lol. and then i briefly did softball in middle school because my childhood best friend had picked it up the year before and i wanted to fit in. im very asthmatic though so most if not all of these Did Not Go Well lol

and for the bonus one ill go with 19: a time that you told a lie

first off some important context for this is that i was raised mormon and every summer the church would have all the girls ages 13-17 go camping for like a week. they do hikes and crafts and devotionals etc. i think its all standard church camp type stuff.

so the first year i went they had the younger girls go on a short hike while the older ones went on a longer one. when we got back, a couple friends and i were curious about the longer hike so we decided to check the trail out during free time. we kept walking for quite a while. idk how long it was but we knew wed been gone long enough that people would have noticed we were missing. if i had to guess id say maybe an hour or so idk. anyway we got to a point where the path started to trail off and disappear so we decided to stop for a bit and then work our way back. we were in a pretty big meadow but there were some trees partway down a hill and one of my friends went down there to pee and carved some initials on a tree. i think she said she carved something for me and my crush at the time but i never saw it lol.

anyway eventually we started to head back and at some point we realized we were probably gonna get in trouble for disappearing. i was really worried about it but one of the girls was like "no dont worry about it ill take the blame" and suggested that we tell everyone that she had seen a deer and followed it and then the other girl and i went after her because we didnt want her to get lost in the woods alone.

about halfway back to camp we started hearing people calling our names. we kinda figured there might be some people looking for us but what we werent expecting was that they were men. remember, this is Girls Camp. usually the bishop would show up for a day or two but other than there werent any guys up there. turned out the bishop showed up while we were gone and some other guys whod driven up with him to drop off some food offered to help him look for us.

eventually the search party found us and we all stuck to our story when they asked us what had happened. i think we also said that initially wed been lost and really scared but then we said a prayer and just like that we found a path! and thats why they found us on a trail even though wed supposedly run off into the woods at random. it was very dramatic and spiritual. and also complete bullshit.

so we finally get back to camp and the leaders are all fretting over us. the girl who "followed the deer" did get a lecture about not chasing wild animals because they could be dangerous but that was about it. no big repurcussions.

that night we had a devotional, which is basically just the whole group sitting around the campfire and telling stories about when they felt the holy spirit or whatever. usually the leaders will start off by reading some scriptures or a talk from some church official and then theyll turn it over to the kids to talk about their experiences. in the middle of this, a deer wandered into the clearing near our camp. some of the girls pointed it out because cool, a deer. but the moment the three of us saw it, my friend who had supposedly followed a deer into the woods earlier that same day jumped up and shouted "thats the deer!"

for some reason everyone, including the adults, took it at face value that this random deer in the woods must be the exact same one wed supposedly seen earlier that day and also that it was some sort of sign that god had been looking out for us while we were "lost"

looking back on it now it doesnt really seem like a big lie but it felt like a huge deal at the time because we lied to The Bishop. for a long time i considered this to be the worst thing id ever done. we never came clean to anyone whod been there at the time and i dont think i even told my mom the real story until like a decade later lol

that story ended up being way longer than i thought it would be lol (ive told it before but never written the whole thing out so the word count is surprising) but its probably the most exciting lie ive got. the alternative stories are mostly like "i was super depressed but didnt think that would be considered a valid reason to bail on something so i said i had a migraine" so i think it was the best option despite the length. also its been a while since i thought about this and it made me nostalgic so yay

thanks for asking!! i had a lot of fun answering these (you can tell by how long this post ended up being lol)

[deliciouspirateangel]

random thoughts on the first two eps of cruel summer s2 dont spoilers open inside

so im watching with my sister of course and we also rewatched s1 together and wow. we were going back over summaries of the show that were like "two sides to the story, who will you believe?" as if we were ever supposed to be on jeanette's side. the thought is sooo laughable its sad

anyway in that same vein we're also both automatically for isabella and against megan (bc you have to choose sides you cant like two characters at once duh) like isabella has been in town for 6.3 seconds and megan already hates her and is also snooping thru her stuff like ??? get a grip get a life and get over it

and then my sister asked me which character i thought would have the unnecessary gay subplot this season and now we're scared its gonna be megan lmao. that one shot with the fireworks and the song playing and megan staring at isabella had us like uh oh

bc my god that gay relationship was the least necessary subplot of the first season it was so bad. not that it needs to be relevant but they treated it like it was lmao. and the mallory/kate thing was fine but so rushed so idk these writers dont do justice to queer. id rather be spared

the "twist" of the first ep was something we saw coming a mile away lmao. youre supposed to think isabella is dead and i was like "if she is dead then no she's not it's her twin sister" and then it showed that missing persons poster with the person torn off and my sister was like "i bet its the guy friend" and i was like ooh yeah you're right it's the guy friend

and then they unzip the body bag and are like "it's guy friend" and we were immediately like no tf it's not let me see the body!! so idk why the dad would lie or misidentify the body maybe they wanted to save money on special effects so they didnt show it but we still think something is fishy idk

and since me and my sister share one brain cell we both got the idea that isabella is like brenda song's character in stuck in the suburbs. if you dont understand then idk what to tell you </3 basically she's just hyping up her life but its mostly a lie idk

and omg the bullshit about that video was so gross. again one brain cell after the first ep we were like "you couldnt even see the person in the video i bet it wasnt even her!" well surprise

and isabella taking the blame anyway bc megan could lose her scholarship and get suspended from school like ??? why should this involve the school ewww and of COURSE misogyny and misogynoir and of course no one can say or do shit to the boy in the video bc his daddy owns half the town bleh

even a year later when she's in college like the whole town still believes this lie that could ruin isabella like ??? yall just tell omg. i think they at least mentioned the fact that she was underage and that constitutes as cp but goddamn no one in shows ever cares

like literally the guy's dad who owns half the town couldve spoken up like "i know my son isnt going to get in trouble for any of this so i dont think the girl in the video should either" but no lets get the whole town to hate her

i think the dad killed his son idk thats my guess

the show isnt great but at least its fun lol what do YOU guys think is gonna happen this season??? hmu

[brightlyburningstar]

Do you guys ever have a moment of like wow I look like shit omg and then have an interaction that leaves you going maybe I do look cool bc I just had one of those and man it’s weird

story time :D

Ok so cruise, I decide to walk into the kids club for people my age and mind you I’m on the literal cusp of the oldest people there, two weeks and I’d be in another group, so I’m like fuck I’m gonna be around some stupid ass gen alpha kids and I’m gonna make NO friends. SO I walk in, in one of my go to outfits w some Kandi, and as I walk about half way through this girl comes up to me goes I KID YOU NOT “damn your hot wanna come sit w my friends and I?��

IM SORRY WHAT??? I WAS CAUGHT SO OFF GUARD LIKE THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED WHAT DO I DO. so then I sat w her and im like 99% she lied about like 4 things to make herself seem cooler to me (school she went to (said she went to my school this year and left a month in and moved three hours away, her age (I think she’s a bit younger that what she said), ect. ect.) but anyways I think I made a friend?? Idk I told her I’m aroace so PRAYING SHE TAKES A HINT HELPPP

[midnighteloquence]

watashi wa jisatsu shitaidesu

ignore whatever that means its a /nsrs

anyways! lets talk about why i no longer like friend d!

so im gonna split this rant into TWO PARTS!

Part A: things ive noticed myself/seen first hand

okay number one! they said that theyre diagnosed with bipolar, which THEY ARENT. first off, diagnosis are expensive asf no matter what youre trying to diagnose and im not being mean at all but just saying theyre on the free lunches plan soo, two diagnosis takes agessss and they just so happen to suddenly have one??

number two, theyll shit talk like everyone. i only started noticing recently that most of what comes out of their mouth is shit talk. and its fine if you have a lot to say about shitty people but then you immediately talk to them again as if you didnt just say you want to curb stomp them?? it gets confusing and ngl is really bitchy

number three! milked tf out of the fact that one of their friends said they might be autistic. which no. autism isnt something you should milk for attention!! and like the only symptoms they have are the depressive ones which USUALLY should lead you to believe that maybe you just have depression? idk im not a psychologist

on that note, they want to be a psychologist, yet doesnt understand why people act the way they do (like theyll shittalk people for things they cant fucking control) and also has rheir own problems? this would most likely be even more self destructive right? to have to solve others mental health before your own? idk im just thinking

also also they seem to care more about getting into relationships (AT THE AGE THEYRE AT) than grades which uh. yes i am literally on my knees yearning for a relationship but also at least im actually doing school and excelling academically ✌️

plus dont you gotta do good at school to be a psychologist?? thats like a really hard subject

Part B: things ive been told

this part is where it gets more blurry, since some isnt backed up (but most is dw!)

they dated C two years ago and used to do freaky shi to them at the back of the bus (make out, cuddle, touch thighs, etc), which a friend of ours i’ll call F saw first hand! um ew.

they trauma dumped on C first things first which uh

C and F would sit with each other a lot and talk alotttt because theyre both neurodivergent and nd people tend to go well and D got all pissy and like “me when my friends leave me out..” and so to shut them up (shut me up? by msi?) F told them that they might be autistic and they started milking tf out of it

told a bunch of people that C sa’d them which C did not! also told F that C’s sa story was fake and that C mentally and physically abused them (there are screenshot proof of D saying this btw!)

told people that im not autistic and that im faking it because im self diagnosed which THEY LITERALLY ARE + IVE DONE COUNTLESS HOURS OF RESEARCH ON AUTISM LEAVE ME ALONE

something ive noticed but isnt it weird that all their relationships lasted only a couple months? kinda says something

would manipulate people into taking their side by saying “oh dw its my fault not theirs!”

on that note their recent partner broke up with them AND GAVE A WHOLE ASS GOOGLE DOC ABOUT WHY WITH AMAZING EXPLANATIONS + SAYS A THOUSAND TIMES THAT IT ISNT THEIR FAULT, but C twisted it to make them the bad guy which tf he has the best moral compass of everyone ik stfu

jokes alot about substance abuse (which they do btw) but it just gets like “what am i supposed to say?”

ON THAT NOTE OF NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY they texted F that they tried killing themselves and F responded with an “oh” because tf are rhey supposed to say to that?? (F told me that they were literally crying when they saw that)

was a terrible friend to F, F noticed and cut off ties (good for them!! They have so much courage because i could legit never i love them for that 💪💪) and then they proceeded to send a lengthy apology which was all bs btw!

ive been told that they faked their trauma, substance abuse, and their eating disorders, but tbh im not sure if that’s true or not (considering ive seen texts theyve gotten from their mum about eating)

minor but they say theyre goth but dont even listen to the music which is the whole point! and also doesnt follow the political opinions of goth!

(did the same with punk, btw!)

not sure if true or if C said this to save their own ass but apparently D got C to shit talk me (i talked about in an earlier rant) which errr…

Secret Part C: small details

this section is in bullet points!

insulted F “jokingly” to the point they had huge gender dysphoria

thought F had a crush on their bf (at the time) when F’s literally a lesbian

not only a pathological liar but a inconsistent one!

okay this is kinda hypocritical but they follow sh blogs that show cvts

+ says the cuts are cute (which is something i dont do. i actually dont even follow them but from time to time i’ll scroll through and want to vomit /nav)

literally gave me a step by step tutorial on how to purge

not lying!

complained about their bf not kissing them in public (which is something you talk to your bf about not me! + boundaries fucking exist?)

very minor but alot of the stuff they like its mostly because it got popular on tt

will say shit like “ive only been catcalled like three times in this outfit!” which no ew + gave me a massive insecurity that im not pretty enough! choose your words wisely!

so to sum it all up theyre a terrible human being and im glad i dont talk to them anymore! thanks for reading this lengthy post!

[amiaboyoragirl]

alone

i dont have any friends. i live at home with emotionally unavailable parents and my brother, who is my only semi trusted person. we are really close and honestly if i didnt have him i wouldnt be alive but we definitely butt heads and i feel bullied by him even though he doesnt mean to hurt my feelings hes just a blunt ass bitch and 6.5 years younger than me but the dynamic is basically im a big baby he feels the need to take care of. and were codependent with weed nicotine and money/food. im a mess and cant get a job, he does instacart when hes not stoned af at home. hes the only person i interact with during the day other than awkward convos with my mom complaining about something and at least once a day i have to hug my dad which makes me very uncomfortable because 1. im autistic. 2. i have sexual trauma 3. he has traumatized me so bad but either doesnt remember or doesnt think it was traumatic (didnt involve incest but he was too involved in my personal business and forced me on birth control that fucked up my health for a while when the incident that caused him to flip was asault but my mom just slut shamed me and yeah anyway my relationship with them is fucked) but i have ocd and if i dont hug them i feel like theyre gonna die after that thinking idont love them because they cant see any other reason why i wouldnt hug them. and honestly im touch starved so a hug is nice here and there but my body is so uncomfortable here. ive lived here my whole life and i feel helpless. im sure it is learned helplessness because of trauma but still i cannot fucking function outside in the world alone.

i also have tits that make me uncomfortable and im currently trying to figure out if i feel this way because im trans or because of trauma and the general sexualization of the female body and social dynamics idk. i also just got out of a 3.5 year relationship with someone i thought i was going to marry and shit but i felt like i was a lesbian and broke up with him even though i didnt want to lose him i knew he wouldnt love me the way i loved him or if i was a guy inside he wouldnt love me anymore. i know he loved me. but a lot of it feels fuzzy and i cant decipher what was real or if it was all chemicals cuz we fucked and smoked and ate and watched tv and talked all the time. the sex was fucking amazing. sometimes i cry about it still. and i still cant touch myself without thinking about him and just forcing myself to dissociate through it and sleep immediately after. ive always been a sex addict since i was way too fucking young but before this relationship i was sleeping with multiple guys all the time, i needed it to get through going to school and work and keeping up the mask. but then covid hit. met my ex. realized we are autistic. i couldnt keep pretending and forcing myself to work in a fucking restaurant that was sensory hell and triggered my eating disorder. ughhhhh god dammit i know im just romanticizing my ex relationship because im missing the sex and affection and talking to him but realistically we werent going to last and i still feel like we both were hiding some feelings or thoughts we had idk i think he couldve been a narcasisstic asshole but my heart doesnt feel that way, maybe im the narcasist and hes just audhd and traumatized just like me. idk fuck. i miss him so much. we were doing so good like finally things felt peachy again and looking up for us even tho in reality it wasnt we were and are still broke addicts too stubborn to get help. but it was fun while it lasted i guess.

anyway i feel like a rabbit in a hole running out of food and water while the world dances in the snow covering the exit. idk. i havent eaten breakfast yet and i already smoked twice so im sure ill eat and sleep this shit off but idk the thing that gets me everyday is i wake up from a dream i feel like im with my ex and then wake up alone and sad as fuck and it just ruins my day because i let it, i dont want to let go of the pain, of him, i fucking miss him and wish things could be different. we always said we wanted to die holding each other in bed like that couple preserved in pompeii. my chest is on fire right now and if i could just have one more night together id do anything. we have the same birthday so that sucks. i wanted to say happy birthday but it felt way too soon and idk if itd ruin his day or not but iwas def sad all day. we broke up 2 months ago now and havent spoken since but i saw him twice waiting to cross the street while i drove by and my heart sank to my ass. he looked good af. but i have to be honest with myself its not my responsibility to try to make him not angry and act like a man child sometimes. and its not fair tohim to feel responsible for my moods all the time we just couldnt take care of eachother the way we needed because we are both depleted of what we need idk. im going back to sleep. im just feeling emo we shouldnt get back together but i feel like i cant trust my brain because im bpd and pmdd and i always feel this way around my period, we break up then my periods over and im sad as fuck about it and regret it. its too late now im sure hes lost any interest in me and has moved on.good for him. he should. i actually really hope hes happy right now. but i know i didnt feel completely right with him so fuck it ill just try to move on. i just wish i could be normal and have a job or school and friends stuff to distract myself and have new memories but im so isolated rn and depressed idk. i might feel fine tomorrow so i wont kms lol. bpd is sooo fun. especially with gender and sexuality ocd and just wanting to be loved but feeling so unlovable ayyyyy.. i could feel hot after breakfast who knows.

[baekhvuns]

The fields were crooked or some shit idk, something was going on there. Or perhaps most teams sucked 😭 but actually back when I played we had this school field and one side was much better. Can't explain why, but no one wanted to start on the left wjhshsjsjsshhssh

Mou couching Brazil, a funny concept to me, but let's see it! I'm really curious who's gonna lead who 👀 Ronaldo x Ramos as Hongjoong and Wooyoung in Salary Lupin

Lol that Anthony kid ajshhahsjahahah. I don't wanna jinx it or get too excited, but I'm happy with Arsenal now, even if Man City overtakes them, their stats are so good anyway! Chelsea was always unstable tbh, but wtf is going on. I feel bad for Liverpool, but oh well..... not every red team can be on top 🤗 but Ronaldo in Man City?! Are Messi and Neymar joined by the hip or what lmao?

Omg I didn't know Alv*s' wife was mourning :/ and the Wednesday guy??? Fucking filth. Okay but I chuckled at Cope del Prison 😭

William has always been pressured yeah, but I never really liked him tbh and Kate too... maybe in the beginning, but something about them is off to me, not genuine. But that's everyone in that family actually 😬 I can't blame Harry for fucking off, because being a royal sounds like a nightmare. I'd never want to be that delusional and out of touch <3 (I can take some of the money, but that's it)

YG keeping BP just for having them in the dungeon for the next 3 years, lmao right. SM did it first, now JYPE and other companies followed the jewel case bullshit!!! Ooooh and a new CEO, hopefully they're not too horrible, the bar is so low, pls...

Eunhyuk and his pink flip phone, you know I'm just saying this video is both hilarious and precious 🤧

The reveal of GG absolutely killed me like... to me Joe from You is Dan from GG after he totally spiralled jsjsjabdjahahashgs. PLL was worse, but also more unhinged so they're a bit different in my eyes, both are crimes against humanity, yet kinda iconic

Yes I'm the snake whisperer 🐍 idek what to say cause lots of the things I saw and heard are about British local celebs, like some people from Geordie Shore and Made in Chelsea. But let's just say I was a bit taken aback seeing people on social media acting all couple-y after witnessing one or even both of them sucking other people's faces 🤔

What's the Only Hope webtoon about? I'd have to investigate 👀

I think we need to admit our defeat and realise Hwa is most likely not blonde anymore. I'd kill for some other colour though or dark blonde, but it seems like they're all going black. Quite underwhelming ngl, I'm hoping for Joong to do something 🙏🏻

Me fighting all the scissors so they don't come anywhere near Felix and Seonghwa 🗡

I had a miniscule Nascar thing after watching a cartoon about it? But it's not a thing in Europe so idc, F1 was my shit ages ago

AAAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭 I have the same beanie, I love when idols wear them, cat Hwa agenda!!!

Miss Anya, we get it jahsjahsjjabaha

Understandable. One of my cats is obsessed with my Hwa doll - DV 💖

hello!!

The fields were crooked or some shit idk, something was going on there. Or perhaps most teams sucked 😭 but actually back when I played we had this school field and one side was much better. Can't explain why, but no one wanted to start on the left wjhshsjsjsshhssh

no seriously im convinced either the fields were small or the brazilian players just knew what to do at every time,,, the latter 🤚🏻 NO YOU ARE CORRECT U SEE IT EVEN IN THE GAMES ONE SIDE IS ALWAYS BETTER FOR WHATEVER REASON IT JUST FEELS CORRECT anon, kaka ft. kaka's son crumb! & rm signing a 16yo brazilian wonderkid for $60mill??? 😳😳 he’s kinda INSANE

Mou couching Brazil, a funny concept to me, but let's see it! I'm really curious who's gonna lead who 👀 Ronaldo x Ramos as Hongjoong and Wooyoung in Salary Lupin

iM INTO IT BC MAYBE BRAZIL NEEDS A FOREIGN COACH TO GET THE NEXT WC mou ftw bc zidane’s growing his hair back bc france said no 😭😭 FBWNDBWKFJWK GET OUT BC I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING TOO JVHCKCJ & in honour of mou’s birth

Lol that Anthony kid ajshhahsjahahah. I don't wanna jinx it or get too excited, but I'm happy with Arsenal now, even if Man City overtakes them, their stats are so good anyway! Chelsea was always unstable tbh, but wtf is going on. I feel bad for Liverpool, but oh well….. not every red team can be on top 🤗 but Ronaldo in Man City?! Are Messi and Neymar joined by the hip or what lmao?

antony is so funny 😭😭😭 bro finally plays with confidence <3 chelsea just be hitting a new low every time THERE IS NO PASSION! THERE IS NO VISION! NO ATTENTION! NO TRYING IN THAT CLUB fbwkfjwm liverpool at least in the top 10 😭😭 RONALDO AT BAYERN AND MAN CITY APPARENTLY HE WAS ALMOST THERE,, aguero is pulling strings for messi @ man city and they wanna sign him too + neymar hinting at man city transfer jcvsn LMFAOOO THEY ARE ACTUALLY FBFBF

neymar and messi have been at each other hip’s since njr joined barca as a youngster! and messi kinda took him under his wing and protected him often fbf they have been like this since barca and it’s truly so funny seeing them like this fbdb

Omg I didn't know Alv*s' wife was mourning :/ and the Wednesday guy??? Fucking filth. Okay but I chuckled at Cope del Prison 😭

yEAAH!! she also issued a statement on it asking to be left alone bc she’s mourning and now her husband facing trials abt it,,, tbh why don’t hollywood casting directors like look into the background of ppl before casting them 😭😭😭 COPA DEL PRISON FBWKFJSKJC they don’t have premier league, they got prisoner league

William has always been pressured yeah, but I never really liked him tbh and Kate too… maybe in the beginning, but something about them is off to me, not genuine. But that's everyone in that family actually 😬 I can't blame Harry for fucking off, because being a royal sounds like a nightmare. I'd never want to be that delusional and out of touch <3 (I can take some of the money, but that's it)

oh 👁👄👁 u may know more than me bc i only knew about them when they broadcasted his wedding, tho yeah i think they stay quiet and do their work and make no fuss which is a plus for me bfnwbd but miss sophie <333 IT REALLY DOES i wonder if they realize they are so out of touch,,, maybe they should watch the crown so they can see a mirror,, LMFAOOOO TAKE SOME OF THE MONEY AND GO AWAY DBWNDJS TAKE THAT INHERITANCE AND DISAPPEAR, THAT 17MIL??? DIANA BABES SEND IT MY WAY I WILL TREAT THAT MONEY RIGHT!

YG keeping BP just for having them in the dungeon for the next 3 years, lmao right. SM did it first, now JYPE and other companies followed the jewel case bullshit!!! Ooooh and a new CEO, hopefully they're not too horrible, the bar is so low, pls… //// Eunhyuk and his pink flip phone, you know I'm  just saying this video is both hilarious and precious 🤧

😭😭😭 the impact they would’ve had if they had continuous comebacks w good songs but i guess their tactics worked 😭😭 NO BC THE JEWEL CASE VER THE PHOTOBOOK IS SO THIN WHATS EVEN THE POINT MAN 😭😭 the bar for sm’s ceo is so low, won’t be convinced until there’s an announcement of the change,,, STOP IT STOP IT IM TRYING TO WRITE FOR A DIFFERENT MAN DO NOT MAKE ME SWERVE PLEASE and hyoyeon saying coachella invited GOT last year but they didn’t go bc they didn’t have more songs 😭😭😭

The reveal of GG absolutely killed me like… to me Joe from You is Dan from GG after he totally spiralled jsjsjabdjahahashgs. PLL was worse, but also more unhinged so they're a bit different in my eyes, both are crimes against humanity, yet kinda iconic

LMFAOOOO YOURE RIGHT 😭😭😭 so unhinged but so dramatic, oh for the 2000’s show’s to make a comeback and bless us with their drama id actually cry, bc what was euphoria 😭😭 iconic in every way!!!! AND THE GASP I DID  but u know which show was more iconic, wizards of waverly place 🤚🏻

👁👁 + this bgm awoke something in me

Yes I'm the snake whisperer 🐍 idek what to say cause lots of the things I saw and heard are about British local celebs, like some people from Geordie Shore and Made in Chelsea. But let's just say I was a bit taken aback seeing people on social media acting all couple-y after witnessing one or even both of them sucking other people's faces 🤔

do u randomly do the “hssshpaahsssh” every now and then? channeling ur inner slytherin?? AAAAHHHH 👁👁 i bet the amount of news u get about everyone is groundbreaking 🤚🏻 there’s a few open secrets here about the younger nhl players purchasing gwagon’s bc it attracts girls 😭😭😭

What's the Only Hope webtoon about? I'd have to investigate 👀

it’s like this! it just started so it’s a bit confusing

and there’s also this one,, the art is really cute and funny ☺️

I think we need to admit our defeat and realise Hwa is most likely not blonde anymore. I'd kill for some other colour though or dark blonde, but it seems like they're all going black. Quite underwhelming ngl, I'm hoping for Joong to do something 🙏🏻 //// Me fighting all the scissors so they don't come anywhere near Felix and Seonghwa 🗡

HE IS !!!! BLACK HAIRED !!!! RBWKDHWKDHWK GOOD THING ITS BLACK BC IF IT WERE BLOND AND U MISSED IT 🤚🏻 UNSTANNING HIM 🔫🔫 STILL A LITTLE BIT LONG i think yeah they're all black haired now 😭😭 no bc felix better sleep with one eye open, if the scissor comes near him it’s on site

I had a miniscule Nascar thing after watching a cartoon about it? But it's not a thing in Europe so idc, F1 was my shit ages ago

there was a whole cartoon on nascar??? ayo wHAAT f1’s def becoming more and more big with charles leclerc being the stan attracter

AAAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭  I have the same beanie, I love when idols wear them, cat Hwa agenda!!! //// Miss Anya, we get it jahsjahsjjabaha /// Understandable. One of my cats is obsessed with my Hwa doll - DV 💖

MANIFESTING THAT PC RIGHT NOW BC WH AT THE HELL, FURRY HWA 😭😭😭 that beanie is so cute omg,, ANYAAAA FBWMDBWMFJSK THATS A FINE ASS MAN WITH THAT DEEP VOICE TOO 😭😭 u ever just think he’s so perfect,, tall, handsome, deep voiced, nice, rich, fashionable ????? and he’s SINGLE??? WHO IS HE WAITING FOR WE ARE RIGHT HERE!!! omg HOW ARE YOUR CATS, THE TINY ONE ESP !!

👁👁 this that dude named screw driver?

WHAT THE FUCK BLAKE THIS IS NOT THE COMEBACK WE ASKED FOR! WE ARE NOT LIVELY ANYMORE 😭😭😭

AND PIQUE POSTING HIS GF ON INSTAGRAM FBWNFBSK THE COMMENTS ARE UNREAL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 pique’s mom CAN GO TO HELL the way i wish to be in this crowd

THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT

[reidsnose]

Black Eye

overview: reader and spencer go to reader's highschool reunion as a fake couple

genre: fluff i think

warnings: mild violence and swearing, a guy being kind of a total creep, and mentions of bullying

a/n: idk if its any good again just love the idea but it was inspired by a dream i had last night (thank you temporal lobe) so yeah let me know what yall think !! :) also im posting this at like ass oclock in the morning so whoops

masterlist

-

-

you and spencer had gotten yourselves in quite the situation.

your dreaded highschool reunion was just around the corner and you made the mistake of complaining about it to penelope. she was always trying to make everyones life easier (and more interesting) so when she heard you had no date she took it upon herself to find you one.

it didn't take a lot of looking, none at all actually; because Penelope had already been trying to figure out ways to get you and Reid together.

you two were undeniably perfect for each other. you were an amazing team at work, you hung out alone all the time (though both of you denied these hang out as being dates, Garcia had her own ideas on this), and you were both very obliviously head over heels for each other.

and somehow, through the magical ways of Penelope Garcia, you and Spencer were now sitting in the parking lot, fake married for your high school reunion.

"do we need to go over our back story again?" you worried, looking up at him.

"our backstory is basically all true anyway we just fall in love after a little bit. and i have an eidetic memory so i remember; you're my wife you should know this!" he joked, trying to relax you. "we got this! we're gonna be so married!"

Spencer had actually never been this nervous in his life but he was trying to be brave for you. it would be more embarrassing for you both to show up like nervous wrecks than if you had just come alone. he was just happy to get to be fake married to you.

"the marriedest!" smiled, fist bumping him.

"now lets go make some people jealous!" he chuckled getting out of the car and jogging over to your side, opening your door before you got the chance to; like a true gentleman.

you stuck out your hand which he happily took into his, neither of you commenting on the redness you both had sprinkled across your cheeks. as you walked in, you saw all the people you dreaded seeing.

the boys who tormented you were balding and the girls who made sure you felt awful everyday had wrinkles riddling there skin. you were surrounded by botched botox and bleached blonde to cover graying hair. you felt terrible to admit it, but you were a little happy to see that their beauty had faded like this; they made their looks their whole personality in high school, you couldn't help but wonder what was left for them to be. not that it mattered, but you and Spencer were undeniably the most attractive couple there.

you actually had an ok time, you had spotted a few of your friends that you hadn't seen in quite a few years and it was nice to catch up.

Spencer had wondered a bit, but not too far, he was talking to some guys who used to be in science club when you were younger. you smiled at the thought of what they might be talking about.

"y/n! hey youve really filled out!" you heard a gruff voice from behind you.

you turned around and were met with the very unappealing face of the ex quarterback. Spencers attention had been caught at the sound of your name.

"um..hello," you muttered, trying to covertly back away from him.

"i see youve got a ring, interesting i dont remember us getting married!" he said in an incredibly creepy tone.

"do you know im a federal agent now?" you said through a gritted smile.

spencer had already begun walking towards you, he could tell something was off.

"ill tell you what sweetheart," he put his hand on your shoulder, pulling you slightly closer to him, "you can put me in handcuffs any day."

you threw his hand off of you and drew back your fist, but were cut off before you could deliver the punch but his hand engulfing your own, and squeezing.

"THATS MY WIFE!" spencer yelled in a voice you had never heard from him before.in the blink of an eye he was standing between in front of him. "do not ever talk to her like that, let alone lay a finger on her or so help me God i will-"

"what beanpole? what are you gonna do? what if i did this?" the man asked.

and then he sent a swift punch to Spencer's face.

thats gonna leave a mark.

in a matter of seconds, Spencer had him overpowered, laying face first on the floor with his hands uncomfortably angled behind him, completely helpless.

"now i'm going to let you go and you're going to walk out of here unharmed. if you try anything like that again, ill let my wife handle you. and i promise if she gets a hold of you, you'll be a dead son of a bitch." Spencer muttered in the mans ear, gruffly pulling him up by his collar and shoving him towards the door.

"were leaving." you said, grabbing Spencer's hand, trying to ignore how incredibly attractive he looked right now.

"babe if you want to stay we can stay," he offered as if he didn't just have his shit kicked in by a coward with misogynistic tendencies.

"honey, i want to take you home," you smiled, liking the way it felt to call him a pet name. you walked into the parking lot, "what were you thinking?"

"i was thinking this guy is trying to hurt you and i was not going to ever let that happen." he answered confidently as you two reached the car. "plus this totally made the marriage thing more believable. i wouldn't get a black eye for just anyone."

"thank you. i'm sorry you got punched trying to protect me." you sighed, feeling incredibly awful about the whole thing.

he chuckled, "id do it again."

you fought hard against the blush creeping up your face.

"i gotta say, the black eye really suits you. you look pretty badass." you chuckled, trying to change the subject before it got too sappy and you said something you shouldn't.

"maybe it should just be my new look," he joked, looking down at a ping from his phone. "uh oh."

"we have a case?" you asked.

"yep. and hotch wants us in the office asap which means we cont stop by either of our houses." he sighed before starting the car.

the drive was mostly silent. but a comfortable silence. Spencer thought about how in the moment, he didn't care how many punches the guy threw at him, as long as it meant you were ok, he was willing to take it. he knew he loved you far before that moment but that truly solidified it.

at the same time you were thinking of how quickly your time as a 'married couple' was over. it felt so right to call Spencer yours. so unexplainably perfect for the two of you to be together. if only your time wasn't cut short by a sucker punch.

you neared the building's parking lot. you looked over at Spencer who you could very easily tell was lost in his own world.

"whats going on in that beautiful head of yours?" you asked, causing him to stifle a smile.

"just thinking." he answered.

"what about?"

"us." he stated, pulling into his parking spot.

oh. oh.

"do tell."

he hesitated, "if i tell you, and you disagree, do you promise it wont change anything about us?"

"i promise."

"did it feel right to you? us being together?" he asked, his eyes innocent and filled to the brim with a mixture of anxiety and adoration as he looked at you.

"yes. it absolutely did. and i was so mad at the assclown for cutting our time short," you admitted, "and punching you in the eye, obviously."

"i- i'm not sure how to ask this but- do you...would you..sorry i-" he stammered.

"yes."

you cut him off, pressing your lips to his. his hand gently cupped your face, deepening the kiss and you both felt like you were on cloud nine.

"thats exactly what i was trying to say," he cracked a dopey smile, causing you to chuckle.

"i've been trying to say it for so long." you confessed, causing him to smile impossibly wider, "we gotta go hotch is waiting."

"just one more kiss?" he asked, which you gave in to, obviously. and then another. and another.

maybe it was good thing that he got a black eye that day, because when you got to the office the whole team was so focused on it they didn't even notice the hint of your lipstick left on spencers lips.

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos

[boycow69]

can i just talk for a minute about this stupid fucking crackship that has me by my SPINAL CORD bc i cant talk to my irls about this cuz they wouldnt get it.

so. the ship is ectoplasm/snipe and like i found it in a chatfic and it somehow??? wormed its way??? into my brain??? and settled down??? (bitch dont even pay rent ://) i literally have not been able to think about anything but Them for literal DAYS now. i don’t have the motivation to write anything about them but mildly coherent rants (like this one) and rn im just trying to get my thoughts in order.

and like if you think about it its actually really fucking sweet? as a ship? like snipe from what we’ve been shown is literally just Southern Charm + Cowboy and ectoplasm is the Actually Very Dangerous Math Nerd and idk about you but cowboy and math nerd is just a wholesome dynamic period and i hc snipe as being older anyway (like 39 MAYBE 38) so like the ship is basically middle-aged men in love? which is literally just my favorite already so. yeah. but also they just seem like domestic people, like they’d bring each other lunch at work if he forgot it at home, they’d go on walks together with snipe’s their dog named after some country singer (my favorite is thomas rhett so in my head the dogs name is rhett but my favorite song is ‘somethin bout a truck’ by kip moore so i like to think they have two goldens one is named moore and the other rhett). but like ecto would give snipe straws so he can drink through the mask in public and snipe would remind ecto to put his glasses on when he forgets or remind him that they’re on his head (cmon, we’ve all done it).

AND. AND. AND. YOU MIGHT ASK, BOYCOW69, HOW DO THEY KISS? ECTOPLASM DOESN’T HAVE LIPS AND THE ANSWER IS THEY BONK. like when a cat pushes its head against your hand ecto will just,,, take snipes face in his hands,,,,, and they jus,, they jus bonk. they put their faces together and just fucking enjoy the moment and FUCK man does the thought RUIN me. like they just HOLD each other and push their faces together because they LOVE EACH OTHER and im SOFT AND GAY AND CANT HANDLE IT.

and you bet your ASS ive got headcanons on their relationship and how long they’ve been together and how they got together in the first place and imma bout to fucking tell you. snipe and ecto are about four years apart, meaning they would’ve just barely missed each other in school unless ecto’s birthday was after the school year ended, which is how i hc it. they met in highschool and became friends instantly despite ecto being a third year and snipe being a first year (no, they arent dating that happens after snipe graduates and turns 18). something about the chaotic cowboy just struck a chord in ectos strict math nerdness and similarly to aizawa and mic they became fast friends (though more willingly on both ends. none of that tsundere shit hes just kinda like iida). they stay friends even after ecto graduates and they slowly start developing feelings over those few years until snipe turns 18 and shows up on ectos apartment door step with beer and a boombox (he’s already drunk, he needed the confidence) and playing ‘save a horse ride a cowboy’ and ecto, to this day, doesn’t understand why he said yes to a date in that moment but he also knew then that by agreeing to that date he was agreeing to so much more (a life with the guy, keep ya minds out the gutter). he agrees to the date (snipe refuses to move until he says yes or no) and pulls him into his apartment to turn off the damn music before he gets noise complaints and help his cowboy sober up so he can tell him yes properly.

snipe ends up telling him later (YEARS later) that he meant to play a different song but forgot when he got drunk and his plastered brain thought that one was better (he was gonna play ‘die a happy man’ by thomas rhett instead (shut up im a country fan and he’s literally a cowboy okay)). and, in turns of when he said yes to a date, ecto proposed on the spot. this led to a happy about 13 year marriage (in my brain they were dating from snipe-18, ecto-21 to snipe-25, ecto-28 when ecto proposed and they get married about a year later (26/28) and they both apply to work at UA two years after that (28/30), then to start of canon events where they are 39/41).

and thats probably about it for my rant but like GOD i love them and the BONK AND THE LOVE AND THE DOMESTIC SHIT AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE PEOPLE JUST BEING IN LOVE THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

[mymarifae]

sorry if you’ve already done this but thoughts on ralsei?? people seem quite divided on him

omg ralsei. love that lil thing

the divide on his character makes me a little sad because omg. guys. he's not a mastermind with evil ulterior motives. look at him. he's a cotton ball. YEAH he's hiding something, absolutely definitely 100%, but skfjfjfkfjgjs he's another weird slightly off-putting 16 year old with too much responsibility/knowledge thrust upon him. he just wants friends

if he comes out at the end of ch7 or something like "MWAHAHA i was the bad guy all along !!!!!!!" i think susie would just be like "? no you're not. get back here." and he'd be like "yeah okay. sorry." and that would be the end of that!!!!

i think his kindness is very very genuine... he's beyond ecstatic to meet susie and kris and finally talk to someone his own age - he's been alone!! for his whole life. and for this reason, he doesn't. get It. he doesn't understand the nuances and complexities of friendship and he doesn't get that kindness can take a lot of forms, and that servitude =/= kindness. he's learning though, and he's learning pretty fast. i think we're going to see ralsei go through a lot of changes. i've talked about this before though

now, like. he's hiding Something. i kinda refuse to believe it's out of maliciousness. i think it's more likely he's not aware that he's hiding something, orrrrr there's just some pieces of information that we, the player, cannot know about just yet, or maybe not ever should we prove ourselves unworthy of the knowledge. if he's purposefully concealing something from us, i think it's probably stuff he discusses openly with kris whenever we go off to watch susie.

he. knows a lot. a lot more than a kid his age should know. he knows about us and he knows the controls of the game. and then there's his damn prophecies - angel's heaven and the roaring... two very different events. the fact that he never elaborated on what the angel's heaven Is stresses me out a tiny bit, and i can't help but assume it's what happens when there's not enough darkness to balance out the light, and you know like. im concerned. and, hey, ralsei, who opened castle town's fountain? why can it sustain darkners from every dark world? why don't YOU turn to stone outside of castle town? why do you know the layout of the school.

there are a lot of questions that i guess no one in game is asking, so idk if he would honestly answer if someone did ask, and he's not giving any exposition for our benefit....... maybe he thinks he doesn't have to; considering the power we've demonstrated to him, why wouldn't we already know these things? idk. i assume he's had a considerable amount of contact with gaster. or at least someone else close to gaster.

i've seen the theory that gaster reached out to jevil and spamton with the intent to give them the knowledge to be third-wall-breaking guides for kris (and us), but neither could handle it and thus were failures, and ralsei was a Success. im not sure how to feel about it. i just can't like... gauge the probability? i don't think we've seen enough of the game.

but i do think it provides a very interesting foundation for both jevil and spamton's characters... gaster looked at both of them and thought they had the potential to be what ralsei is. makes you wonder what they used to be like, if you think about it in these terms, and why ralsei was able to handle all this life-shattering information while they couldn't. i don't think ralsei is okay with ANYTHING he knows by any means, but he's certainly got a better hold on it. at least for now 😐

anyway i love ralsei. i dont think we're going to get a master plan reveal from him at any point but i do think there's a good chance we'll see him Snap . if anyone's gonna say fuck (uncensored, i guess) in this game it's going to be him. like he'll just get a little fed up. he wants his own life and he wants to eat cake with his friends and he wants to take a NAP and none of this is fair and just leave him alone already !!!!!!! for fuck's sake. and susie's like RALSEI?????

[elysianslove]

first of all can i just say congrats on the 500 like i'm so happy for you and you absolutely deserve it (huge bear hug :) ) now i had this crazy hcs idea and i immediately thought of you so long story short how would Karasuno , Aoba Johsai and Nekoma react to their sweet manager having powers similar to those of scarlet witch (marvel) or mirajane strauss (fairytail anime) feel free to pick whichever one is easier and thank you so much for indulging my crazy request. love u lots - safiyah <3333

oh my goodness thank you sm for your words here’s a bear hug <3 also also i was literally just thinking just how cool it would be to have like a supernatural au haikyuu thing and then you send me this wow we on some mind reading shit. anyways i really hope you like this. sorry it’s like hq on crack if you want a serious one lemme know hsjkhsk

karasuno high

they lose their shit. 

every single one of them. 

mentally they’re all like 12 (except daichi and mqybe ennoshita) so i definitely think they’d have a very childish reaction to it. 

it’s so endearing though. 

they find out while walking you home one night: it’s very stormy and they just wanted to make sure you get home safe because they worship the ground you walk on. cue like a fucking billboard nearly falling on you and the group of boys and your instincts just kick in and you stop it mid air. 

noya’s still screaming even after everyone’s just gone silent and is gawking at the fact a billboard (or whatever the object is i can’t think rip) is hovering above them. in mid air. because of you. what the fuck? 

daichi’s blood pressure drops he’s like somebody catch me im about to faint wtf is going on. 

you kinda freak and just toss it away and run your way back home, as far away from the boys as possible. 

but alas, you’re their manager, and you have duties to fulfill. so you show up to practice the next morning terrified for your life. 

you’re not really sure why you’re so scared and nervous. you just are? it’s a huge part of who you are and it’d be a big bummer if the most important boys in your life didn’t accept it. 

noya greets you with a really big hug

tanaka’s so loud but what’s new <3 

daichi and suga just come up to you and gently ask if you’re okay because you ran off so quick yesterday

they all act super normal during practice but you can tell

you can tell

they want to ask so many questions they’re gonna explode 

after practice, when coach ukai and takeda leave, and it’s just you, kiyoko, and the boys, it’s s o quiet. you would hear a pin drop. 

you just sigh and go “you can ask” 

your poor eardrums </3 

they’re so fascinated by everything you say 

kiyoko’s like “i had a hunch” like how do u have a hunch about something like this anyways what a queen

noya’s like “make me fly” 

and tsukki in the back “drop him on his ass pls” 

they definitely make you do so many things for them with it 

cleaning duty is now on you because hello !! you can move things with your mind !! 

kags doesn’t get it. he’s like. ok? and ? i can set volleyballs perfectly, hinata can jump really high despite his height, she can move things with her mind? so what? 

i love him 

they’re also crazy good at keeping it a secret? 

not hinata tho he slips up so often like thank god the secret isn’t realistic or believable

he’ll be like “oh yeah? well our manager can move things with her mind!” 

and suga just has to usher him away with a pained smile like “yeah she’s so incredible haha” while doing that thing moms do where they squeeze or pinch your shoulder if they’re mad at you in public 

it feels like a weight lifted off your shoulders when they find out because the closer you grew to these boys, the more they felt like family to you.

aoba johsai

my favorite team 

i hc makki as someone that smokes weed. pls don’t try to convince me otherwise. look at him. he’s a pothead <3 

this is going somewhere i swear.

so you’re a 3rd year manager, meaning you’ve been with these boys a while now, specifically the third years of the team, so y’all are pretty close. 

how they find out: it’s like 3am on a weekend, the seijoh 4 and some of the second years. you’d baked a cake with like all of them all at once in the kitchen, so it was now a mess, so you’re attempting to clean it up as fast as you can the way you know best — with your hands and your mind. makki walks in, high as shit, sees this and just. 

“damn must be the weed.” 

you don’t hear him. so. uh oh. 

he was probably sent there by iwa to get water or something, so iwaizumi walks in and just yells so loud “what the fuck!” 

it’s like they’re all summoned by this. they eventually all pile into the kitchen and you’re literally just frozen in fear with pots and pans and utensils and specks of flour hovering by you. and then you maintain eye contact with iwa as you lift one hand and direct the pans into a cupboard and slowly shut it. 

“so it’s not the weed?” 

they honestly. don’t act any different tbh 

it’s like an added feature of yours that they appreciate. 

oikawa asks you to read his mind to test if what happened that night was real and you just lift him up from off his seat. 

“i asked you to read my mind tho hm” 

yeah mind reading is just a regular thing now. they will slyly ask you to read the other team’s minds during a match and you’re like no that’s cheating. but you do. and you subtlety give them advice. like “hm i wonder if that team’s gonna do this specific attack” 

also oikawa asks (read:begs) u to like help them make it through to nationals

you say “will it feel like a true accomplishment if i do?” 

shuts his pretty face up <3 

they also make you like. toss volleyballs to them. but with your mind. multiple of them. they take it as some stupid challenge idk these boys are dumb i love them 

they also love throwing things at. YOU. LIKE WTF? 

like haha dodgeball but it’s a group of 6’0+ athletes against just. you. 

sounds fair 

they also become insanely protective of you after they find out. idk how that clicks w them but. yes. 

especially mattsun and iwa ? like men. relax.

anyways they would abuse the shit out of your powers genuinely but it’s okay it’s out of love <3

nekoma high

they. they’re idiots. all of them. 

kuroo would probably be like but scientifically ! this makes zero sense 

omg kenma would lose his MIND. 

HES A GAMER BRUH 

HED BE OBSESSED W YOU.

but lowkey bc none of that simp shit </3 

ooou okay so you’re at a training camp and they sneak you in with them so you guys can play truth or dare 

bc yk. you’re kids. 

and y’all are going around and you just pick truth and someone asks what’s the biggest secret you’ve ever kept from us and they expect some dirty shit they’re nasty smh 

and then you straight up go “i can move things w my mind” 

and theyre like ok miss stop playin fr 

keep in mind it’s dark as hell in the dormitory and eerily quiet and you shift one of the chairs in there, and it squeaks loudly

yamamoto jumps and looks at you w so much fear in his eyes. “that wasn’t you” 

“bet?” 

and then suddenly all chairs are moving all at once and yamamato deadass screams 

kuroo’s shrugging like. “it’s just the wind,” like ur not in a closed off room w all the windows shut whatever u say sir <3 

lev’s like

gone into shock. seriously someone go get him water or something. 

when morning comes they’re all like hella scared to approach you except kenma and kuroo bc kenma— is in awe. kuroo — does not believe it. 

you’re kinda :( that they’re scared of you and you approach them after the day is over and just apologize, and tell them you didn’t mean to scare them and that you’d never hurt them or even consider it. 

they do a 180 bruh they just all go “awwwwww” and suffocate you in a group hug so you shove them all off for good measure lmao 

kuroo still doesn’t believe it until you save his ass in broad daylight and he’s like ok maybe it wasn’t fake so what sue me 

whenever there are training camps where other schools come they beg u to help them prank the boys 

especially bokuto and hinata 

and you do obviously 

it’s hilarious watching them scream as something moves slightly. you never do it that it’s suspicious just enough to be like did that happen or is my mind messing w me rn 

scarlet witch also has the ability to mess w people’s mind in the literal sense and whenever one of the boys pisses you off particularly you just make them see their biggest fear 

kenma asks you to reenact some of his favorite gameplays for him

it’s literally just roleplay and you couldn’t care less someone catches the two of you you’re no pussy you can admit when you’re having fun 

overall a very chaotic reaction 

they don’t treat you any different they’re just like 100x more hyped about who you are. like the fact that you’re their manager is already a blessing and now this !!! 

incredible <3333