#im so ffuckin sleepy

[becauseplot]

it’s Stupid Hours (aka way too early in the morning) and after 0.2 seconds of searching on YouTube ive come to the conclusion that there is no qsmp John Mulaney “The One Thing” animatic yet and ive gotta say guys. im disappointed.(/lh) im so used to every fandom having at least one The One Thing animatic that realizing there isn’t one for qsmp is bonkers to me. i’ve watched so many of these over the years that if you played The One Thing audio, i could probably recite it in time w the audio (i won’t say from memory bc my memory is shit.)

anyway here’s what i would personally do for a The One Thing animatic if i could draw. remember that this is gonna be skewed to the POVs im more familiar with so im sorry if your cubito doesn’t make it into the role you’d expect. i tried to include as many people as possible.

Edit: "Back in high school..." - not really necessary, but i imagine this story/"AU" taking place during the egg disappearance, which would explain the overly chaotic behavior of the islanders. not that they ever need a reason to be chaotic.

Narrator - Charlie. he’s not on the server as often but bc of that he would make a good “outside” pov narrator. also he’s just a got a really quick-with-it type of humor, cracking jokes and puns and doing wordplay/inprov’d songs at the drop of a hat, and he also loves telling stories.

Mr. Macnimara - Cucurucho. “And Mr. Macnimara was an asshole.” need i say more?

Jake Macnimara - Jaiden. beloved bird of the Federation, though that absolutely would not stop her from throwing a wild party for her friends in their offices if she could. Edit: also Quackity would make a really good option here. Cringefail man that the Federation likes to toy with, we love to see it. Also with his shit luck it makes sense that a party that he decides to host at the Fed offices (a bad idea in the first place tbf) would blow up in his face so hard.

(Bonus: Mrs. Macnimara - the Duck. the Watcher. ElQuackity. idk who’s funnier just whoever your heart desires.)

“And we all got up individually and thought: okay, let’s go over there, and destroy the place.” - split screen of Cellbit, Baghera, Maxo, and Bad. there could be more, like Mike, Etoiles, Phil, Tubbo, really anyone who hates the Federation and/or has an affinity for chaos. Foolish would be a really fucking funny option for this one because yeah he works for the Feds but He Absolutely Would. all of the characters would get up calmly, and on the word “destroy” flip to a Chaos Mode Engaged expression (Cellbit with a grin and bloodstains on his cheeks, Baghera w flames behind her and in her eyes, etc etc)

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off” - Tubbo and his backpack of 3749588383 chainsaws. tazerraft could also be a good option considering Pac’s love of beheading people and Mike’s generally unhinged behavior. tbh just anyone/everyone in morning crew.

Person who breaks the pool table - Etoiles. someone would dare him to and he’d get so fucking excited he would absolutely HURL himself at that pool table. (dogboy behavior)

Person who takes a shit on the computer - … look ive been blankly staring at this one for like 7 fucking minutes. my heart says Aypierre but i could not tell you why. just. anyone who would absolutely do some rancid, unhinged shit when given the opportunity. Foolish again maybe. idk.

Edit: "Something something, police." - Jaiden, if she isn't Jake Macnimara. She would totally say it in a "LOL UH-OH" manner. If not, I could also imagine Missa, Bagi, or Fit nervously/bluntly trying to warn people while laughing.

“Fuck da police!” - “Fuck da Feds!”/“Fuck da Federation!” from what i can tell, Charlie doesn’t have an active animosity towards the Federation, but a lot of his friends do, and he will do anything, ANYTHING to commit to the bit. he will do ANYTHING for the funnies, and if he thinks that shouting “Fuck da Feds!” at the top of his lungs is going to get a reaction out of people, he absolutely will.

Edit: "'I served my nickel, you come and take me!' confidence." - Mike. I have such a strong mental image of Mike drunkenly shouting this while Pac and Fit hold him up/hold him back. Fuga references my beloved. Also the fact that he was put in a Fed freezer for a while.

The Police - the Federation workers. obviously. bonus points for one unnamed guard/officer being impressed like “wooooow :0” and then widening the shot to reveal an unamused Agent 18 standing next to them, leaning into his walkie talkie saying, “Get the paddy wagon.”

“SCATTER!” - Phil. (if you know you know.) generally, people who don’t know Phil tend to think he’s pretty chill, so no one would expect him to do something like that. also when Charlie says “And my friend John—” it would cut to a ‘pause screen’ over the scene, Charlie coming on screen to clarify the “father” and “baby” parts by providing helpful pop-up images of family pictures with Chayanne, Tallulah, and Missa on screen. Resumes, presses play and the screen clears: “He grabbed a 40…”

Edit: "Until, two years later..." - again, not really necessary, but it could be something like, "Until, after Purgatory..."

Alex (guy who stole the photos) - Roier. HEAR ME OUT. Roier, similar to Phil, is just such an unassuming guy. he’s cheery and laughs a lot and cracks jokes, but deep down, he’s smart and he’s got a burning HATRED for the Federation. he’s not the kind of guy to start fights, but with everyone else causing chaos at the party, breaking shit in the offices/house, he would absolutely take the opportunity to steal Federation documents for his husband’s investigations. (or antique photos, if you want to keep with the high school setting/theme.) i mean he stole a fucking lamp from their offices once just because there was so much shit going on and he knew the Feds probably wouldn’t notice (iirc).

Edit: SOMETHING I FORGOT TO MENTION ABOUT ROIER. you could totally make the line “because it’s the one thing you can’t replace” a reflection of Bobby, who the Federation ‘killed’, so now he’s getting back at them. (i’ve put way too much thought into this.)

anyway that’s all! feel free to contribute if u want i just really love The One Thing. it’s an older fandom meme but yeah it still checks out.

(the sheer number of edits to this thing really speaks to how much it lives in my head lmaooo. there's more details but im not gonna include them here bc they're too visual.)