#anyway best experience of my life
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insane
#i am so not normal about this#my friend gave him a bracelet that he wore the rest of the show#i made like direct eye contact with him a few times and he smiled at our group as he left cause we gave him a little toy#(i didn’t give him the toy but someone we met there did)#anyway best experience of my life#bring me the horizon#oli sykes#bmth2024
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HONDA x MARC: you don't have to go home. there's a long way to go.
#marc marquez#motogp#motogpedit#bynadya#n.mov#i fear i could never love a rider the way i loved hondamarc..... not even post 2023 marc himself......#but yeah.... what was the saying again? dont cry bc it's over smile bc it happened etc etc??#anyway honda marc :) thank u for some of the fun and best decade of my life :) so glad to witness it and experience it <3
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some more comic panels I liked :>
#Hilda and twig: twig experiences a microaggression#hilda the series#Hilda and twig hide from the rain#this comic is lovely#it fleshes out twig and how he views his place in Hilda’s life in a way that feels like a natural continuation (or prequel ig) to the show#there’s some little nods to the show too which is fun#man I didn’t realise how much I’d missed the comics#the show is AMAZING but there’s just something about the pen drawing style and colour palettes and comedic beats in the panels yknow#and despite luke making it to be more geared towards younger kids than the OG comics were#(I believe he said the idea came from seeing how his daughter struggled with the OG comics#and he wanted something that was more ‘bedtime story’ material)#but this feels exactly the same as the others#it’s just things are arranged a little differently across pages for easy following. the panels are bigger and the story is smaller#i think it’s sweet that the core feel and writing remained and it’s just more accessible to younger kids now#anyway that’s my ramble lol#also I liked the robin that got given one (1) breadcrumb and pledged allegiance to hilda instantly#best character
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Do you think I should buy a birthday cake? But I've been stood up three times. [...] Although I don't know what happened between you and your friend, it's always happier to spend your birthday with someone you like.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 04
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userrain#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#*pats the top of ai di's head* this guy can fit so much baggage in him 🥰#he's also so completely unaffected he's just like ok so here a quick rundown of my life#and how i celebrate not being dead with my best friend#who im also in love with but he likes someone else and forgot our birthday deal the last three years it sucks#bai zongyi and the girl at the counter: sir this is a bakery#ai di beloved your experiences are not universal#i honestly love how he just kinda forgets other people his age aren't like him and how very unapologetic he is abt that#anyway sad birthday post#dog tags in his hand. </3
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once again i am saying spotify needs an incognito mode for wrapped. i think i should be able to cordon off the 80000 hours i spent listening to the taylor swift album because i was in the middle of writing 7000 words about it. i don't think that should count.
#i do love TTPD to the point that i've TTPD-pilled myself and now think it's objectively her best album#and renders basically everything but folklore and like 2-3 songs on some other albums irrelevant#(ok 5 songs on red)#and people arguing otherwise are crazy and also will agree with me in 10 years' time#AND ALSO. 2024 became the year i finally had the experience of#Wow Taylor Swift Released An Album Shockingly Keyed In To Challenges In My Personal Life#i did not have a break-up soundtracked by red like so many but this year... this year she and i were really Connected#so i mean it would have been high up anyway for sure#BUT STILL!!!!!!!!#anyway. not as annoying as the year i got rly into the succession & MI:Fallout scores for work purposes#which rendered my top 100 list basically unplayable
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Hi! I simply wanted to say that tour Symweaver stuff is beautiful, and also, What do you Think about "Sunflower" (by Post Malone and Swae Lee) as the theme song of these two? I think it's perfect for them!
I'm so sorry but the song is hardwired into my brain to think "that's the Miles Spiderverse song" to think of anything else 😭 I'm glad you're able to pull Symweaver out of it! I do enjoy listening to songs with ships in mind when I'm drawing, so I'll try to revisit it with them in mind
It's a common shippy song, but I really enjoy "From the Start" by Laufey for Symweaver because I love the idea that either they both of them thought their feelings were unrequited until they were adults, or that Lifeweaver was always aware of her feelings and just let her vibe until she was comfortable expressing it
#symweaver#symmetra#lifeweaver#satya vaswani#niran pruksamanee#overwatch#overwatch 2#thank you!#i was lazy so i just made a sketchy wip today forgive me#I like adding to my list of ship songs tho so if yall have any song recs for symweaver my ears are yours and my comments are open for em#I dont usually think of songs in terms of themes tho; just songs that best represent the little amv thats currently playing in my brain#anyways they're so in love so im glad you can find their love in songs#I just like the slowburn they have that they grew up together and are completely comfortable with each other#but that they still needed that time away from each other to learn about themselves to prevent them from becoming codependent#and that they know how to fully live with opposing yet similar point of views as adults. They wouldve had a falling out if he had stayed im#but now they have had life experiences to know themselves better and can appreciate each other in the healthiest way possible#not saying theyre endgame but um they should be endgame lmao
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How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable
there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??
a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!
i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.
i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-
hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.
the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.
#and yes#before you ask#i have forgotten which account has which items/has done which content many a time#i think the most painful incident was forgetting to keep up the scoundrel's making waves while i was still playing nemesis with caeru#given that im trying to build it up to 12 and reset their specialization... that was uniquely painful#then again they have like 40 BDR so it wasnt actually that inconveniencing lmao#fallen london#ask#long post#sorry for the infodump + sudden villain monologue.#all jokes and personal accounts aside i totally get the apprehension abt doing that stuff again#it's not for everyone. not by a long shot.#im only doing this because im genuinely invested and in love with this silly little browser game#and way back when i started i made a (only half metaphorical) solemn oath to experience all of its ''main stories''#and truly see everything it has to offer#(bc i like. physically cant do hyperfixations by halves. i need to consume Everything abt the thing or i'll explode)#(and even then i'll probably explode anyway. it's either completely drop it or go All In until it stops taking up so much space in my brain#(and. given the track record. that is not happening with FL for a while yet)#but like. that isnt actually normal behavior. just. just to clarify.#from what ive seen a VAST majority of people do not go out of their way to play literally every ambition#and that is so valid. it is so overwhelming. you have to juggle so much.#you have to play the earlygame So Many Goddamn Times.#(as i said. served my time. did my sentence. i am my scars. etc etc)#the best advice i can give as someone who's so completely desensitized to that repetition it doesnt even phase me anymore?#the same advice i can stress to all FL players. legitimately just take ur time with it. play when you want to.#dont when you dont.#sometimes you have to grit your teeth and bear things. and when it comes to alts you Will have to grit your teeth and bear it all again#but the beauty of this being a game that one plays for fun is that unlike. say. crushing deadlines or annoying coworkers in real life#you are completely within your power to decide when where and if you want to grit and bear it all#..wow this is ADVANCED yin rambling holy shit. i actually reached the tag limit. i think this ask should be put on some kind of list
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i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????
#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary#bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it#so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences.#being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much#compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself#tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments.#tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts#could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably#and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist#but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think#this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines#and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before#it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person.#this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3#we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically#p
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in my you're on your own kid era again (I never left)
#babes i will do what i know best which is to write. study. pray. breathe.#lol you'd think after having a mental breakdown two days ago i'd be more settled in what to do#but it turns out there are many ways your heart can break!#and part of it is. yes. i know i'm stupid and have a horribly soft heart that is so so susceptible to being won over#and i AM aware that i easily love people (in a general sense) it is not hard for me to see beauty in someone and love them#because i catch a glimpse of or recognize goodness truth beauty kindness loveliness gentleness in them and it moves me deeply#i am very easily moved deeply i know this!! and i wish it weren't so sometimes#but anywayssssss insert all the things you know the routine i should've been wiser i should've been more careful#i wanted to know about him i wanted him to find me delightful and insightful and courageous and interesting#i wanted to make him laugh somehow or at least smile i wanted to see that joy of his up close#i saw a deep startling warming light in him and i wanted to draw closer#etc etc etc anywayyyyyy anyway#petrarch: Love found me all disarmed and saw the way / was clear to reach my heart down through the eyes#which have become the halls and doors of tears. / it seems to me it did him little honor / to wound me with his arrow in my state#/and to you armed not show his bow at all" etc etc you know the drill#insert ALL the things. standard stuff. i would have loved you i would have treated you tenderly i would have simply rejoiced to be near you#all of that ish and more. anyways back to real life lol i'd love to experience a love that doesn't feel like death someday#healing girl era summer '24
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holy shit, what's the story of colon puncture if you don't mind answering?
I was chronically constipated for most of my childhood and i ended up in the hospital twice because of it. The last time it happened i was like 9 years old and I woke up in the worst physical pain ive ever been in my life to DATE, literally screaming in bed, unable to get up. My mom, freaking out, took me to the hospital, where the pain magically disappeared. The nurse suggested that i was making it up and my mom was extremely confused (and pissed) since ive never been the type to fake illnesses to get out of school, but then the doctor arrived, pressed on my stomach when i proceeded to destroy some more eardrums. She immediately had some x-rays done on me, which revealed that my bowels were beginning to TWIST & TEAR to accomodate more shit. The end.
#that fucking nurse was priming me up for sepsis!!! thank god my mom believed me#i dont want to talk about the treatment. my poor butt...#anyway thats one of THREE near death experiences ive had in me life. but those are TMIs for another day...#glad to announce that after some lifestyle changes me and my bowels are best friends again#dont wait for days for a bowel movement kids. it aint safe#tessa answers!
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Also I don't want to be rude but I feel people are missing the point of the post so here's some more thoughts I have about overprotective Mario
idk it's also especially weird because a) Luigi is an adult grown ass man b) they are twins
#i understand that the games give them that sort of dynamic at times I get it#but GENUINELY I think the big bro little bro thing comes from a translation of the japanese text#since there isn't really a term you call your twin so they're still referred to as the older and younger sibling respectively????#anyways hi once again i was in the utdr fandom in 2015 i've had my fair share of weird over protective older brother tropes#I think it's fine if the younger sibling is like. a child??#But your honor that is a grown ass man and they are the same age#like to the day dshgjfndh#five extra minutes on this earth does not give mario enough life experience to act like that lmfao#alright I'm done live your best life play with the dolls in your dollhouse the way you want to and all that#smb#mario#luigi
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i finally got the bloodborne platinum after avoiding the chalice dungeons for years and all i wanna say is that defiled amygdala is the aCTUAL BANE OF MY EXISTENCE I HATE IT
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#bloodborne#the defiled chalice dungeon in general was the worst experience of my life i stg#anyway 10/10 literally the best game ive ever played /gen#i cant wait to replay it again for the 1000th time
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Somewhere, in an alternate reality:
#half life#adrian shephard#the backrooms#I woke up one day and thought ‘wouldn’t it be really funny if’#and now we’re here#anyway this was a fun chance to experiment with style#and once again this turns out to be one of my best drawings#a half life shitpost#my art
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#dan and phil#weed#besties i am so high rn i am losing it#i took like one too many bong hits#started playing flight rising on the desktop computer bc it loads so much faster than my chromebook#opened youtube to have something on the second monitor#found dan and phil's fuckin lofi album???#lost my absolute shit about it#went to post about it from tumblr mobile but wanted to make this meme to do it justice so pulled up a meme editor on my desktop#(the meme editor had so many advanced text options since when have meme editors come this far??)#anyway made the meme realized my phone is at super low battery so decided to just log on to tumblr to post it directly from the desktop#even though i'm nearly exclusively a mobile user now and have been for years#so i have to log in to tumblr and now i'm experiencing making a post from the desktop site while still pretty blitzed#is it firefox that allows me to edit the tags after i've typed them or is that a desktop thing now#oh shit do i have any extensions on#depending on what imported from chrome when i changed my browser like six months ago this may be some sort of extension#whatever it is im okay with it this is great#i'm having such a good time right now genuinely#also watched chappell roan's hot to go music video for the first time during an interlude in the whole meme making process#there is currently a restoration video playing in the other tab that's been going for 10 minutes while i've been making this post#this is me living my best life honestly#i need at least one person to acknowledge the journey of tags on this post if only so i know I'm not alone in knowing my experience
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rewatched arrival for the hundredth time. this movie never fails to gut punch me with its approach to determinism. louise embracing her future that she knows every moment of, despite the tremendous loss and pain it contains, with open arms. she doesn't hesitate, or ruminate on how she can try and change it. she accepts it all, the good and the bad, because what she gains is worth it, so many times over for her. she steels herself against a certain future and runs forward to meet it all, to love, learn, and lose, and trusts and leans on herself to live through it all. because that's what life is; it's the joy and the suffering. to try and isolate the joy alone is madness, futility in its purest definition.
comparing her line of thinking to a palindrome (how she named her daughter, hannah), the movie kept emphasizing, "it's the same backwards as it is forwards." it doesn't matter if you can see the end; life is the same whether you live it "forwards" (without knowledge of the future) or "backwards" (with foresight). it doesn't change the significance of your life experiences; to try and avoid certain future pain just because you have the knowledge of it is a zero sum game. you think you win because you avoided pain, but you also avoided the joy that preceded it. the metamorphosis. so you still lose if you try to win, and vice-versa.
all you can do is rush forward and take it all head-on. see this whole beautiful mess as your one most precious gift; this one life, this one chance, a laughably miniature blip on the colossus that is linear time, to experience all there is to feel before you return back to an eternity without perception. it's all worth it, because only in living a full-fledged life open to everything it has to offer does the experience of living turn out to be greater than the sum of its parts; it's in trying to beat the system (avoid pain) that we actually lose.
"if you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?"
"maybe i'd say what i feel more often. i...i don't know."
#arrival 2016#pleaaaaase this movie has a chokehold on me#the perfect sci-fi imo is one that blends the scientific and the emotional realms seamlessly and wow does this do that#this particular movie speaks so personally to me#because i lived so much of my life in stagnation trying to avoid pain i could see on the horizon#a couple of years ago when beginning my last relationship i could see the end as early as 3 months in#you know when you just realize early on there are cracks in the relationship foundation that are not repairable and will only get stressed#the more you build on top of it? yeah#it terrified me like you couldn't believe and i spent so much time in denial and fighting against it#fighting against this future i was intuitively certain would materialize#i watched this movie around that time and decided to just go for it#to not let my intuition rob me of joy in the present#as someone who lived so prudently and always tried to make the “right” choice this was monumental for me and so out of character#for a while i wished i'd just listened to my instincts about how this person would ultimately hurt me so i could avoid the suffering#because i really did have foresight everything i was scared would happen did happen almost to the letter#and i wondered does that make me stupid?#that i marched forward anyway? i didn't have the degree of certainty louise did so i thought i could change things#if i loved hard enough if i was patient enough if i did what i knew in my heart to be the right thing#but it changed nothing#but no i wasn't stupid and i would do it again#because it was still a beautiful experience at its best and it taught me valuable lessons at its worst#i have undoubtedly changed as a person i will never be the same again and THAT is living#not rotting away in an unchanging state. unchanged by joy or mundanity or by adversity. that is not living#undoubtedly better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. i never rly agreed with that until i saw this movie#personal#favourite movies#scifi#movies#this applies to everything not just love. take that chance! do the thing that scares you. bc that's the only way to really live#regardless out of the outcome
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((If anyone ever wants to write with a scruffy, kind of (unintentionally) goofy, sweet but still totally animalistic, former prisoner, werewolf-esque, character (complete with wolf tail) who has read a bunch of self-help books and who is super committed once he falls in love, and who also just so happens to be from a post-grand-fairytales fairytale realm full of magic and chaos and all that good stuff... just, ya know, let me know <3))
#ooc.#about:Wolf#((He's still my favorite and I love him so much <3 I've rewatched this series at least once a year since it came out.#And if you want to watch a miniseries that deals with mental health issues and the relationships between mothers and daughters#and fathers and daughters; a mini series that offers silliness but also a lot heart and also a surprising amount of insight;#a series that deals with trauma and PTSD and abandonment issues in a way that's approachable and relatable but also so heavy hitting#that it makes you want to cry just a few minutes after you were laughing at something else#and also which handles it through the lens of familiar fairytales / fairytale tropes and (as such) reminds us of some of the actual morals#in these fairytales and also the lessons we can learn from them WITHOUT just retelling the stories we're all at least somewhat familiar wit#(because the parts of it that take place in this fairytale world take place AFTER the grand period of these fairytales and we're now seeing#the aftermath of them all and the cyclical nature that exists in history / the human experience even inside of a world of fairytale logic)#then this is TOTALLY the show for you. Seriously I can't say enough good things about it.#AND IT'S ALL ON YOUTUBE WITHOUT ADS! SO EASILY ACCESSIBLE!!!!#It's about a girl and her father in NYC who (through some shenanigans involving a dog who is actually a prince trapped in the BODY of a dog#end up in the realm of the 9 kingdoms where all the fairytales are true- or they WERE at one point. Now things are a bit... different.#They have to try to find their way back home from here and there's a ton of life lessons along the way#and a lot of self discovery and a TON of silly antics. And it's a bit dated in parts for sure but not really overly so. It still holds up#really well. ANYWAY- I just think it's the best and it deserves all the love and attention <3#And now that the podcast interview my friend did with Simon Moore (the creator) has come out I can FINALLY say-#THERE'S A SECOND BOOK COMING SOMETIME SOON! SO ALL THE MORE REASON TO GIVE IT A WATCH!))#((ANYWAY- I'm very passionate about my love for this show and in total it's only about 7 hours so it's a fairly quick watch all things#considered. And I know it's not gonna be everyone's cup of tea but my GOD is it so hard hitting and satisfying especially at the end <3))#((I'LL SHUT UP NOW))
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