#anyway . good reminders 2 myself and others <3< /div>
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adore-gregor · 3 months ago
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lesbianboyfriend69 · 1 year ago
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my sexual desires are morally neutral and asking people to participate in them is morally neutral and people saying yes or no to those requests is morally neutral. my status as a caring and responsible sexual partner is not compromised by my desires or by people's reaction to or participation in them !!! my desires can exist without being reciprocated and fulfilled, and this doesn't mean i'm wrong for wanting those things. my desires can be reciprocated and fulfilled and i don't need to feel shame about involving another person. i can trust people when they say yes or no and i can take their engagement with my sexuality at face value and in good faith. my desires don't need to be justified and i don't need to apologize for wanting things. as long as i prioritize consent and kindness in all my sexual interactions it'll be ok !! it'll be ok !!!
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crescentfool · 1 year ago
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i think something that is important to me to remember is that there are small ways i can do things to spark joy for myself and others without waiting for someone else to do it... (conjures up little sparklies from my hands) life is so whimsical!!!
#lizzy speaks#for full transparency i cannot make sparklies emit from my hands unfortunately#but i can imagine that i can and i think thats cool i'm like a swaggy little magician#anyways sometimes i see announcements for games and im like#ok! cool! some people are very excited and happy. so awesome!! happy for them!!!#but personally i think i've found much more joy in doing my own thing#and it's ok if you're not particularly enthused about a new thingy because sometimes you still have other things you can do#or you have other things that feel much more gratifying to you. and thats ok!!!#this is a vague toward reload and splat3 (specifically splatfests)#it's become clear 2 me that reload is curating a different experience for pee 3 with the new mechanics they introduce#and i didn't realize how attached i was to how fes's mechanics (tiredness + fusion spells) can inform's one characterization of kitaro#until i kept seeing the new things for reload. still interested in reload's alternate interpretations but wont be following the news closel#and for splatfest. turf is not my favorite mode in splat by a long shot' but at least i can salmon with friends! or play another game#i think it's always important for me to remember that not everything will be for me and that's a good thing#when i see things that dont excite me as much. it reminds me about what i care about the most and to remember to hold those things close#i can make my own fun with my own little creations i don't need to wait for games to host events for me i can just draw silly little guys#or i can choose to make silly little clownery happen on my own terms and i think thats neat#even if i'm not hyped about something that others are hyped about that's okay because i'm nourishing myself and that's really fucking cool#and hey maybe i will find the joy in those things eventually. or not! and thats ok. who knows!! anything can happen!!#anyway if you read all of this thank you :3 and i hope that you will always be able to find your way to find something that excites you
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technologyvoid · 2 years ago
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11cupids-tarot11 · 8 months ago
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A Letter From Your Future Spouse
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1 -> 4
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Cupid's Services Cupid's Master List Socials
Tips appreciated!
C@sh app and P@ypal only!
$minnieplant3
@janellec03
LOVE U
- Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.
︻デ═一 ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Pile 1- Four of Wands, The Fool, Page of Swords, Nine of Cups, Page of Wands, The Wheel of Fortune.
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"Hi you! I've been sleeping a lot, can't seem to do anything else lately because of how tired I've been. Finally. I can sleep as much as I want to now because of a situation that just so happened to end recently. Death.
What now? See, I've been wondering the same thing. But let's not even worry about it, let's just sleep as much as we want to because we finally can, even if it's only a little nap time out of your day do it because I gotta see you one last time later, I've got a message for you in your dreams. Spirit will tell you, don't worry about missing it or when <3
Resting so much so when I do have to work, you know, find that balance again between work and fun, I can focus on what's so important to me a lot better, I mean really give it my all... You know? Lol
Sorry, I dream a lot, you might notice my head is always in the clouds. I have very air energy like a Gemini.
Things are finally clearing up for me! I feel at peace, maybe we mirror each other and things are also getting better for you too? You have to let me know, okay? I feel like I can finally breathe again, be optimistic without being scared the rug is going to get snatched from underneath.
I've been working so so hard on my craft, putting in so much love and effort into my work and I feel really hopeful that all of my productivity will pay off soon, consistency is key, right?
I really like the color yellow, 😄 talk again soon!"
Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to do the poll below 👇🏾 ✨
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Pile 2- Knight of Wands, I forgot to write down the rest of the cards I'm so sorry 😞
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"I have no problem with putting in hard work for anything I want, even you, you know? If you don't want me the moment we catch eyes I'll make you ;)
The moment I catch you I'm going to make sure I never stop loving you, I'll make sure every day is beautiful, even on our bad days we'll kiss each other good night before bed still. I love you!
Why do you keep worrying yourself? All of that doubt in that pretty little head of yours isn't good, you should lay it all to rest before you make yourself sick baby. Sleep more, practice some self care before you run yourself crazy, okay?
I'm so proud of you, you know, for whatever amazing things you've accomplished lately. I believe in you, I'll always be your #1 cheerleader!
You should go out and celebrate! Enjoy the sun, you deserve it my angel! Promise me you won't let this go by like it's just not that big and you'll go out and do something? Pinky promise?
Stay focused! You're on the right path, you're doing amazing! I promise you, all of this will be worth it, it's worth our future 💓 keep going, I know you can do it! 🎉"
Hope you enjoy!!☺️ Don't forget to do the poll below!!
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Pile 3- Queen of Cups, Justice, Four of Cups, The Moon, Three of Swords, The Star.
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" Hi my love, you know I don't talk a lot haha, so I'll make this quick as usual and get out of your hair so you can go on.
I just want to remind you, you're my queen, my favorite, my whole world ❤️ I think red looks really pretty on you btw but anyway, I love and miss you like crazy at times like these.
I am going through something right now, a legal situation, a situation I wish would come to an end right now because it's so heavy on me, it's hurting me but I know at the same time it's happening to me because it's part of my karma, something that's forcing me to look so closely at myself, at every shadow because I think it leads me to you. My everything. We're going to get married, I'm so sure of it.
I'm keeping hope alive, I'm hanging on to every thread of it I've got. I'm working on everything right now, I'll catch up with you soon sweetheart 💋 I'm going to kiss you when I do, you won't be able to get rid of me. ;) "
Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to do the poll below!!
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Pile 4- Ace of Cups, The Hanged Man, King of Wands, Nine of Cups, Knight of Cups, Nine of Wands.
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"I want to come to you with amazing news but I can't, I'm sorry to say, I've taken a turn for the worst right now. Don't worry, it's temporary.
I am slowly building myself back up, that's what I'm doing right now if you're wondering what I've been doing all this time. I'm healing day by day and I hope you are too sweetheart. I might be a bit stuck and tangled up right now, but I'm clearing through it!
I'm the kind of guy who will pursue you with nothing but kindness until I make you fall for me with your charm, I'm cute, I know I am, you'll love me, I have curly light hair, and a really cute smile. You'll think I'm so adorable.
I want to offer my heart to you, fully, 100%. You have me, all of me as long as you give me you in return, I hope you do, I can't be without you once I know you.
Take care my love ❤️."
Hope you enjoyed ❤️ Don't forget to do the poll below!!
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snowysosturn · 23 days ago
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Fire & Desire - Matt Sturniolo Part 10
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
Pairing: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo
Summary: Y/n has always clashed with Matt. Despite working for Chris’s clothing brand and being close with Nick, her relationship with Matt has always been tense at best. While being forced to be around each other more, their animosity turns into something deeper. Can they overcome their differences, or will their fiery emotions tear them apart?
Warnings: MDNI, angst, tension
I woke up the next morning at 9.30 am, pulling the eye mask over my head as the sunlight flooded in my entryway. Stretching, I let out a yawn and checked my phone. Still no response from Matt. Not that I was expecting any after being left on read.
Brushing it off, I got up and threw on my slippers. Nick and I we going shopping at 11, and the idea of getting out of the house lifted my mood. But first I needed coffee, desperately.
I dragged my feet downstairs to the kitchen and made myself a quick breakfast, scrambled eggs on toast and coffee from the Keurig. Simple but enough to wake me up. While I ate, I doom scrolled on my phone, pausing every so often to read back over my messages with Matt. Still no reply.
I don't know why it frustrated me, I guess I just wanted answers. I rinsed my plate, set it in the dishwasher, and headed into the bathroom to get ready. It was nice to not feel rushed or that I was bothering Matt by taking my time in here. The hot water from the shower was just what I needed. I stayed under longer than usual, it was a small luxury, but I enjoyed it.
After finishing up and drying my hair, I walked back up to my room, pulling open my closet. My eyes immediately landed on the yellow Ralph Lauren jumper Nick had given me yesterday. I threw it on and paired it with my favorite jeans and white sneakers. I glanced at myself in the mirror, adjusting the jumper. It was slightly oversized but felt snug in all the right ways. I sprayed my perfume over myself to finish it all off.
“Perfect” I muttered to myself before grabbing my bag.
Nick opened his bedroom door, ready to go with an eager grin on his face. “Ready to spend some money?” he asked, holding Chris’ card up.
Nick ordered an uber and suggested we check in on Nate to see if he needed anything while we were out. I followed him down the stairs to Chris’ room. Nick gently knocked on the door before peeking inside. "Still out cold" he whispered, shaking his head with a small grin. I glanced past him and saw Nate sprawled across the bed, tangled in Chris’ blanket, looking completely unbothered by the world. 
"Kids on a two day hangover by the look of it, what did you do to him?" Nick laughed, closing the door quietly before turning to me with a shrug. 
"Don’t ask me, maybe he just can’t keep up like I can. Let’s just get him some snacks anyway, he’ll probably appreciate them when he finally wakes up."
The uber arrived an we hopped into the car, the Uber driver was really friendly and even let us have AUX. Nick seized the opportunity and started blasting one of his favorite playlists. The drive to the mall was filled with his off key singing while the driver laughed. It was impossible to be in a bad mood when Nick was like this, completely carefree and full of energy.
We arrived at the bustling mall, and I was instantly reminded of how much I loved and hated these places. The endless options were both exciting and overwhelming. Nick, of course, was in his element.
“Okay, first things first” he declared, clapping his hands together. “You need a suitcase. Like a good one, something sturdy.”
I followed him through the luggage section of a department store, pulling at the endless rows of suitcases in every size and color. I settled on a large suitcase in a turquoise shade. It was light but durable, with smooth wheels and plenty of compartments for organizing.
“This one feels very.. you” Nick said, wheeling it toward the register. “Now we just need to fill it"
Next, we headed to the clothing stores. The first thing to look for was swimwear. I sifted through racks of bikinis, one pieces, and cover ups while Nick hovered nearby, occasionally pulling something out and holding it up.
“This is cute” he said, holding a bright coral bikini against me.
“Too bright” I replied, shaking my head.
“You’re going to Hawaii! Bright is the point.”
We compromised on a mix of neutral and vibrant pieces, including a black one piece with a scoop back and a yellow bikini that Nick insisted matched the jumper he’d given me.
From there, we moved to outfits. Sundresses, flowy skirts, tank tops, and breathable shorts for getting in and out of the pool all made their way into my shopping bags. A wide brimmed sun hat and a pair of oversized sunglasses were also thrown into the mix.
“You’re going to look like you’re in a Vogue ad with those on” Nick teased as we passed the checkout.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves” I shot back, laughing.
The last thing on our list was footwear. I grabbed a pair of comfortable sandals and white sneakers that would pair well with most outfits. Nick talked me into buying a pair of wedge heels “just in case” I wanted to dress up a bit fancier for dinner.
With every bag we accumulated, the excitement for the trip grew. Nick carried most of them without complaint, weaving through the mall like a man on a mission, while I lugged the suitcase behind me.
“Shit” he said.  “We forgot toiletries. Let’s go.”
We loaded up on mini shampoo bottles, sunscreen, bug spray, and anything else that could fit into the clear bag at security. I also grabbed a neck pillow for the flight and a small blanket.
“I think we went a little overboard” I admitted, looking at everything we had.
“No such thing" Nick replied, starting the engine. “You’re going to Hawaii. You deserve to look and feel amazing! Now, shoes again” Nick declared.
“But I already got shoes” I protested.
“You don’t have these shoes” he said, dragging me into another store.
Before I knew it, I’d added a pair of espadrilles and waterproof slides to my collection. At this point, I was sure I had enough to outfit myself for a two month long trip, not just two weeks in Hawaii.
“Okay” Nick said, stretching dramatically. “I’m starving. Let’s get food.”
We headed to a nearby bistro that had outdoor seating. The warm sunshine paired with the scent baked goods was heavenly. I ordered a chicken and cheese sandwich, while Nick opted for a salad.
As we waited for our food, Nick checked his phone and grinned.
“Chris’s phone is dispatched” he said. “Should be here later today.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Finally. It’s been so weird not being able to get in touch with him directly.”
Nick nodded, taking a sip of his iced tea. “Yeah, I’d say Matt doesn't know what to do now that his phone actually gets messages.”
The mention of Matt and messages nearly makes me turn red.
“What time are they getting home today actually?” I asked, trying to sound casual.
Nick shrugged. “Sometime later tonight. They booked a nighttime flight.”
I nodded, trying not to read too much into it. The food arrived, and we dug in, enjoying the rare moment of quiet.
After finishing our meal, Nick glanced at the mountain of shopping bags we’d accumulated and let out an exaggerated sigh.
“There’s no way we’re fitting this all in a normal car.” he declared, rubbing his temples dramatically.
I laughed. “You’re the one who kept saying, ‘Oh, just get it! It’s perfect!’”
He rolled his eyes. “And I don’t regret it one bit, but let’s be real. We need reinforcements, or at least a bigger car.”
Nick pulled out his phone and started tapping away. A moment later, he said, “Uber XL. It’s the only way we’re fitting all of this and ourselves into one ride.”
I nodded in agreement, looking at the bags around us. There were at least three overflowing ones just from the boutique alone, plus the suitcase we’d bought earlier that took up a ridiculous amount of space.
“Good call” I said.
Within minutes, a shiny black mini van pulled up outside the bistro. The driver stepped out, taking one look at us and our bags, and raised an eyebrow.
“Shopping spree?” he asked with a grin.
“You could say that” Nick replied with a chuckle. 
The driver helped us load everything into the trunk, which, despite being spacious, was a tight fit. Once everything was secured, we hopped into the backseat, relieved to finally be off our feet.
As the car pulled away, Nick leaned back and sighed contentedly. “I’m never going shopping without an Uber XL again. This is the only way to do it.”
I laughed, leaning my head against the window as we cruised through the city. My thoughts drifted to Hawaii and all the outfits I’d packed for, the sunshine, the beaches. I felt a little buzz of excitement, like maybe this trip would be exactly what I needed.
We arrived home just near 3pm. Nick pushed the front door open with his hip, three shopping bags dangling from each hand, I followed closely behind, lugging the suitcase and two additional bags. The sheer weight of it all, especially the suitcase made me huff as I maneuvered it over the step into the house.
We paused just inside, catching our breath, when faint voices floated down from upstairs. My ears perked up, and I immediately recognized the voices. Chris and Matt.
Nick frowned, glancing back at me. “Are they.. here?”
“Surely not?” I replied, adjusting my grip on the suitcase. “You said their flight wasn’t supposed to land until later tonight.”
Nick shrugged, then headed up the stairs. I struggled to hoist the suitcase up the first few steps, the wheels knocking against the edges of each one.
“Could use some help here” I muttered, but Nick was already out of sight, more curious about the voices upstairs than my struggle.
By the time I reached the top, dragging the suitcase behind me, I could hear Nick questioning the guys.
“What the fuck are you two doing back so early?” he asked, standing in the hallway with a confused look.
Chris grinned, arms wide open as he stepped forward and dramatically pulled Nick into a bear hug. “What, I can’t miss my brother and come home early to see him?”
Nick groaned but didn’t pull away. “Chris you were gone for two whole days. Seriously though. What’s the deal? You weren’t supposed to land until later tonight.”
Matt leaned against the doorframe of his room, arms crossed and looking mildly amused. Chris finally released Nick and laughed.
“Man, we were so hungover yesterday that we couldn’t bear the thought of sitting around Vegas all day today waiting for a late flight. So, we booked an earlier one before we hit the strip last night” Chris explained.
Nick shook his head, muttering something about impulsiveness, before turning back toward me. “You hear that? Weak.”
I smirked, finally dropping the suitcase with a thud. Chris glanced over at me, his smile softening.
“Hey, Y/n” he greeted.
“Hey” I replied, brushing a strand of hair from my face and wondering why seeing him felt like a surprise.
As Chris glanced around, he ran a hand through his hair. "Yo, Nick, have you seen my business card? I swear I had it before we left for Vegas."
Nick smirked, clearly trying to rile him up. "I have it" he said casually, glancing at me standing there with my brand new suitcase and an absurd number of shopping bags.
Chris raised an eyebrow. "Well, can I have it back, genius?"
"Maybe" Nick teased, then pivoted. "Oh, by the way, your new phone should be here later today. You’re welcome."
I stood awkwardly at the top of the stairs, fully aware of Matt’s presence just a few feet away. He hadn’t said anything yet, but the tension was undeniable.
Finally Matt’s voice cut through the air, his tone sharper than necessary. "What’s with the suitcase? You finally moving out?"
I blinked, caught off guard by his comment. Before I could respond, Nick jumped in.
"It’s for Hawaii" Nick said as he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms casually.
Matt’s confusion was obvious, his brows furrowing deeply. "Hawaii? You already have a suitcase that size."
Nick shook his head, grinning like he was about to drop a bombshell. "It’s not for me, Einstein. It’s for Y/n."
Matt turned to me, his expression instantly hardening like he’d just been sucker punched. His eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, I swore he looked genuinely hurt.
Matt’s jaw tightened, and he looked like he wanted to argue but couldn’t find the words. His eyes flicked to me again, unreadable, before he straightened up and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Wow some trip this is going to be then." he muttered before disappearing into his room, the door closing behind him, quiet but firm.
The hallway felt colder, and I avoided Nick’s gaze, pretending to fiddle with one of the bags. Chris, oblivious as ever, clapped Nick on the shoulder.
"Alright, where’s my card?"
Nick laughed, shaking his head. "Not so fast, bro. You’re helping me unpack this stuff first."
As the two of them headed off upstairs, I stood there, staring at Matt’s closed door, feeling a wave of something I couldn’t quite name. Guilt? Frustration? Maybe a mix of both. But I quickly shook it off and grabbed the suitcase, dragging upstairs toward my room and telling myself not to overthink it. Once everything was up in my room, Nick dropped his load dramatically on the floor, letting out an exaggerated sigh.
"Alright, that’s my good deed for the day" Chris said, brushing his hands together like the work was done.
"You’ve been so helpful" I said sarcastically as I started sorting through the bags.
Chris smirked, leaning against the doorframe. "You going to pack tomorrow?"
Nick shook his head. "Nah, we’re starting to pack now. No point in waiting till tomorrow morning and rushing."
Chris raised an eyebrow, watching me open the suitcase and start placing clothes inside. "If only I was that organised" he laughed, walking further into the room. His eyes immediately went to the Fresh Love samples hung up by the closet.
He stepped closer, tilting his head to get a better look. "Woah" he said, running his fingers lightly over one of the pieces. "These look even better in person. The photos don’t do them justice."
I glanced over at him, feeling a bit of pride in his compliment. "Thanks. I really like them.”
Chris nodded, a grin spreading across his face. "I ordered some personalized samples for us all to be delivered to our villa in Hawaii. Thought we could take some pictures out there for a night time shoot, maybe use them for promos. I got us all varsity jackets with our initial on them, and then some other pieces I thought everyone would like."
Nick perked up at that, clearly impressed. "That’s such a good idea! Especially since it's cold at night" he said, nudging me with his elbow.
I smiled at both of them, my chest swelling a bit with pride. "I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get some shots out there" I admitted, picturing how amazing the pieces would look in a tropical setting.
Chris picked up one of the sample pieces, holding it out. "Yeah, these are gonna kill it. People are gonna go nuts over this drop."
I nodded, the excitement of everything bubbling under the surface. For the first time in a while, I felt like things were coming together, and the thought of getting to share it in such a beautiful setting made it even better.
Chris set the sample back on the rack and stretched, letting out a small yawn. "Alright, I’m gonna go check in with Nate" he said, glancing toward the stairs. "He was still knocked out when I peeked into his room earlier. Probably still recovering from your crazy night out."
Nick gave him a nod. "Yeah, sounds about right.”
Chris chuckled. "I’ll catch you guys in a bit." With that, he turned and headed out of the room, the sound of his footsteps fading as he made his way downstairs.
Nick, without missing a beat, grabbed his pile of shopping bags and suitcase and walked toward his own room, which was right next to mine. “I’m leaving the door open so we can pack together. This way, I can judge your packing skills and make sure you don’t leave anything important behind."
I rolled my eyes but laughed. "Oh, because you’re the authority on packing now?"
Nick grinned as he disappeared into his room, propping his door open so we could still talk. "Absolutely. I’m a seasoned traveler, unlike you. I’ve got the technique down to a science."
I could hear him rustling through his bags, muttering about how he might need to pick up another pair of shorts before we left. Meanwhile, I started folding my clothes neatly into the suitcase. 
Nick's voice carried over from his room as I heard the distinct sound of a zipper being tugged open. "Alright" he began, "Let’s see what we’ve got here. Swim trunks, check. I brought the neon ones this time.."
I laughed, picturing him strutting around in the loudest pair of swim trunks he could find. "You really need neon to stand out? Thought your personality did that already."
"Ha ha" he shot back. "No, but seriously, you’ll thank me when you’re trying to spot me in the ocean. Anyway.. tank tops. Got a few new ones, including that white one you said looked good. Oh, and my black button up for dinners. Can’t be showing up to a nice restaurant looking like I just rolled off the beach."
The sound of him rifling through bags grew louder. "Flip flops, sneakers, maybe I should bring those prada loafers.. what do you think?"
 "Definitely bring the loafers for dinners. You’ll regret not having them."
"Good call" he replied, tossing them into his suitcase. "Alright, what else? Oh, sunscreen, got the high SPF stuff this time. Learned my lesson after that beach trip last summer. And hats! Gotta protect this money maker " he added, gesturing dramatically at his face.
"You’re ridiculous" I said with a laugh.
"Ridiculously prepared" he corrected. 
I shook my head, smiling to myself as I continued to fold my clothes. "You sound like you’re moving away for good, not going on a vacation."
"Hey!" he called out, "you’re gonna thank me when you’re borrowing my stuff because you forgot something."
"Bold of you to assume I’d forget anything" I shot back, neatly placing my toiletries into my bag.
Nick peeked his head into the hallway. "Care to make a bet on that?"
I smirked. "We’ll see."
I glance around Nick’s room one last time, making sure he isn’t about to burst out again with some last minute comment, but all I hear is the sound of him collapsing onto his bed. “Alright, I’m taking a nap. All that shopping has me worn out” 
I laugh at how dramatic he was, and closed over his bedroom door to let him sleep. I zipped up my suitcase and placed it in the corner of my room.
Now in silence, I sit on the edge of my bed. The small envelope from the flowers catching my attention, sitting on my bedside locker. It feels like it’s mocking me, just sitting there like some unsolved mystery. My fingers twitch as I pick it up, turning it over in my hands. Why does something so small have such a big hold over me? I hate how awkward everything feels now again, how one card and a few unread messages can mess with my head so much.
But I can’t go to Hawaii like this. I’m actually excited for the trip, and I’ll be damned if Matt is going to ruin it for me with this unresolved weirdness.
Acting on impulse, I shove the card back into the envelope and stand up. My heart’s pounding as my legs move before my brain fully catches up. Next thing I know, I’m marching down the stairs, the envelope clutched tightly in my hand like a lifeline.
The closer I get to Matt’s door, the louder the rush of blood in my ears becomes. The house feels strangely quiet, the kind of stillness that makes you hyper aware of every movement. I stop just outside his room, hesitating for a second. Maybe I should think this through, figure out what I’m even going to say. But before I can overthink it, my hand is already on the door handle.
I push the door open without knocking, stepping inside before I can change my mind. Matt’s sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone. He looks up, startled, as the door swings open.
“Uh, hello?” he says, raising an eyebrow. “Ever heard of knocking?”
I ignore him, taking a step closer. “We need to talk.”
“About what?” he says, crossing his arms. “That you’re stealing Chris’ money and my clothes now?” He says, pointing at the yellow jumper I have on me.
Fuck this is his jumper.
No wonder the scent was familiar.
I take a deep breath, trying to not show how awkward I felt.
"About this. And about whatever game you think you’re playing." I say, holding up the envelope.
a/n: i <3 cliffhangers
taglist : @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel  @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @chrisstxrnsaxe @sophand4n4 @vickytaa @marrykisskilled @bxtchboy69 @yourfavsturniologirl @julisturn @sydneyylainn @sophia-77n @trevorsgodmother @sturnslutz @yourmother29 @girl24cherry @astronea @pinkdyit
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loveafterdeath-if · 1 month ago
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Update (more like me rambling than an actual update, tbh)
Hope y'all are doing alright! I saw my inbox filled with asks and kind words (y'all are the best, as always), and I'll start answering everything once I wrap up Chap 2, Part 2. I want to focus fully on writing so I can get you the whole chapter before March at least, haha.
I'm gonna start correcting what I've written so far to avoid ending up with 100k words to fix all at once. We're about 50% through Chap 2, Part 2 (38k words, but it'll probably hit 40k with corrections). There are branches that have messed with my brain because I wanted to include scenes for each RO, but I don't regret it. I love games with lots of replayability (is that how we say it?), so I want mine to offer that too.
Chap 2, Part 2 will have a ton of branches for each RO, plus the option if you're not pursuing anyone, so it might take a while to get that full chapter out. I honestly don't know how other authors keep track of so many branches! I've always respected them as a reader/player, but being the one writing makes me wanna hand my future kids over to those incredible authors…
On top of that, I'm dealing with another issue. I've been writing so much that I think I'm slowly slipping into that "They gaze at her and say," "They take the paper and it falls" vibe (is that even a thing? Idk). You know, the kind of writing with no real description. I find myself double-checking everything to make sure the descriptions are 'good,' and I think I'll just play some IFs when I got time, to help me regain my groove without turning phrases all weird (I hate reading books, that's why I'm gonna play IFs). This is making me slow down a bit.
I've been pushing myself to write at least 4-5k words each day for the past 3 (4?) months, and I think I shouldn’t have done that. I'm putting pressure on myself without even realizing it. It's only when I end up with 'only' 3k words that I start feeling upset and push through to hit minimum 4k. I'm feeling good for now and don't mind writing that much, but I really don't want to wake up one day and boom—burnout. A Ko-fi member and some folks in my inbox have kindly reminded me to take breaks and take my time, so I think I'll slow down a bit. Like, maybe aim for 3k words?
I've been writing for years, (started on Wattpad in French, and yeah, it was… something) so no worries about the game going on hiatus or anything. I love writing, especially interactive stuff—so basically IFs, haha. Just wanted to keep you in the loop!
Anyway, this ended up way longer than I intended. Stay safe, don't forget to eat your greens, stay hydrated, and all that! <3
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lanadelnegan · 11 months ago
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Ghost - Part 2
Negan x Glenn’sSister!Reader
Part 1 here
smut will be in part 3, don't worry :)
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“Y/n!” Maggie practically tackled me as soon as I walked through the gates, followed by the others. 
“The hell you been?” Daryl grunted with an angry expression, refusing to hug me. 
“He’s been out looking for you everyday since you left.” Maggie clarified. 
I pushed him playfully as I walked by. “You knew I’d be back, I told you I didn’t want to be found.” 
After all the hellos and welcome backs, I finally made it back to my house, thrilled to be alone again. That was too much. 
While unpacking my things along with some of the items I stole from the cabin, I noticed my picture of me and Glenn was missing. No, no, no. Please tell me I didn’t leave it. It was the only thing I had left of him. 
A knock on my door distracted me and I went to answer, finding Rick on the other side. 
“Hey, heard you were back. Just wanted to come say hi.” 
“Hey, its good to be home.”
“Listen, a lots happened since you left. You need to know about the Saviors. They’ve been here a few times already. They’re scheduled to return tomorrow.” Rick’s hand rested on his hips as he looked down. “I thought you’d wanna know.” 
I forced a smile. “Thanks for the heads up.”
I closed the door and exhaled a breath. It’s a good thing they’re coming tomorrow. I need to meet this asshole and learn his ways. Learn how to destroy him and what makes him weak. 
I settled back in, had some dinner, and decided to read some of my book. When I opened the page, the corner was dog-eared and at a place I didn’t remember reading. 
Oh my god. I have never in my life dog-eared a page…..
Should I be relieved that I’m not crazy? Or sad that my mystery man left without saying goodbye? It doesn’t matter. I reminded myself and went upstairs to go to bed. Stopping in the doorway, my jaw dropped at the empty space where my bed used to be. Not even a pillow left behind. You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. 
Maybe I’ll kill them all. Not just Negan. Fucking pricks. 
I slept on the couch downstairs. Luckily I still had that left. I woke in the morning to the sound of a loud, obnoxious voice outside. It sounded familiar. I didn’t bother changing out of my sleep clothes or brushing my hair before heading outside. I couldn’t let them think  I was scared or hiding. If my plan was going to work, I needed to be assertive. 
I quickly joined the others, who were standing around Rick and that’s when I saw him. Negan. His back was turned to me, but I knew it was him because a baseball bat rested on his shoulder. He was wearing a leather jacket, and his hair was black, slicked back, and…. Oh god. 
That can’t be… 
I suddenly felt sick, like I could faint any moment. 
“Reeelax, Prick. We’ll be in and out in no time.” He patted Rick’s shoulder before waving a finger in a circular motion and signaling his men to start their routine intrusion. Negan whistled, spinning on his heels before instantly locking eyes with me. His arrogant smirk faded into regret the moment he saw me. I turned away, quickly walking back to my house.
“Shit, wait.” i heard him call from behind me.
I ignored him and made it all the way to my porch before his hand grabbed my wrist and spun me around. 
“Baby, please. Listen.” 
“I am not your Baby. What the hell is wrong with you?!” I said through my teeth, jerking out of his grip. 
“Please, just let me explain.”
“And if I don’t? You’ll just forcefully break into my house anyway! So sure! Come on in.” I spit out furiously as Negan followed me into my house. Two of his men were already inside, lifting my couch. 
My hands flew up. “Oh, great.” 
“Put it down.” Negan ordered his men who gave him a funny look in return. “Are you deaf or fucking stupid? Put. It. Down. This house is off limits.”
“Yes sir.” They obeyed, setting my couch back down and awkwardly left. Negan and I stood in silence for a moment before he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a picture. It was the one of me and my brother and I felt my throat closing. 
“When you fell asleep that night, I carried you to bed and found this on your nightstand. I knew you looked familiar, but once I realized..” He paused, looking up at you. “..I felt so guilty. So I left. And I haven’t stopped thinking about you once. Baby, I am so sorr-”
I laughed loudly, cutting his sentence off. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes so I looked up at the ceiling to hold them in. "You cannot be fucking serious right now. You murdered my brother, in the worst way possible, and then you have the nerve to give me a half ass apology?!” I scoffed, shaking my head. 
He set the picture on the end table and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Alright, what’s it gonna take for you to forgive me? You want me to get down on my knees and beg?” He walked closer, towering over me. 
“Yes, actually.” 
His smile widened as he looked back and forth between my eyes, but I remained serious. He shook his head in disbelief, but finally gave in. Leaning his bat against the back of the couch, he kneeled in front of me. 
“I’m so sorry, baby. Please, forgive me.”
"Let me bash your head in. Then I'll consider it."
An uncomfortable silence filled the room and he nodded towards his bat. 
"Fine, go ahead." He whispered.
"Wh-what?"
"Go ahead, doll. Bash my brains out, if that’ll make you feel better." 
I walked over to the bat hesitantly, not taking my eyes off of him. When I stood in front of him again, I looked down at the bat in my hands - the same one that killed Glenn. My tears spilled over the wood and I dropped it like it burned my skin. 
My knees buckled beneath me before Negan caught me, pulling me close to him and adjusting us so that he was holding me in his lap. I sobbed into his chest as he held me tightly, stroking my hair while his chin rested against the top of my head.
"Goddamn it, doll. I am so fucking sorry. I can’t say it enough. I wish I could bring him back." Negan sounded as if he was crying himself.
I let him hold me a moment longer before I shoved him away and stood up. "Please just go. I don’t want to see you again." 
He looked at me pleadingly as he stood, and for a moment I let myself imagine his sincerity until my gaze returned to the floor and he left without another word, taking his stupid bat with him.
2 weeks later...
I’ve fully betrayed myself. Thinking of Negan like he was the only man to exist. My days ran together, and the more time went by, the more I missed my brother, and the more I resented myself for fantasizing about the man who took him from me.
The loud rumbling of engines vibrated my ears as I washed shampoo out of my hair. Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my body and approached my bedroom window, moving the curtain slightly.
Rick's back was facing my window while Negan stood in front of him. I remained still, trying to listen to their conversation and also to avoid drawing attention to myself in the window. 
Sensing my stare, Negan's eyes darted up, instantly meeting mine. I couldn't look away, being frozen in mix of emotions that I didn't know was hatred or lust. Or both. 
A smirk appeared on his face, causing Rick to turn and look towards the window, making me quickly drop the curtain and step back. I brushed my hair, threw on some shorts and a tank top and headed downstairs. As soon as I reached the bottom, there was a knock on the door. My heart raced and I scolded myself on the inside for smiling, quickly replacing it with a frown. Get a fucking grip.
I opened the door, probably with too much eagerness. "I thought i told-"
Oh.. it's just..
"The hells going on with you and Negan?"
"What?" 
"Ya heard me."
I stared at Daryl confused and shocked, not understanding where this sudden confrontation was coming from.
"Nothing! Nothing is going on, what is that even supposed to mean?" I looked past Daryl to find the Saviors' truck already gone and it felt like a punch to my gut.
"I saw that little exchange from your window. Not to mention his last visit when he kicked the saviors outta here." Daryl’s hands rested on his hips and luckily no one else was around to hear his little outburst. This was the most I’d ever heard him speak. 
"Daryl, where is this coming from? How could you seriously think I could ever have an interest in him after what he did?!"
Daryl’s head dropped. "Glenn made me promise if anything ever happened to him, that I’d look after ya."
Tears filled my eyes. 
“We care about ya. Just trying ta keep you safe.”
"I know." You smiled sympathetically before Daryl turned to leave. "Wait.. they left quickly this time. What did they take?" 
"You should know. He only went to your house."
I frowned, closing my front door and suddenly the air around me felt different. I looked around for any trace of him, but it seemed the only thing he left was a pit in my stomach and a faint trail of leather cologne. I was getting ready to head upstairs when something caught my eye from the kitchen table. A rose, lying next to a folded piece of paper.
Meet me at our place tonight. We need to talk. 
Part 3 here
tag list: @loganlostitall @chaospossum @negansbabydoll66 @redqueenphoenix @n3g5nx @crustyweirdo @youngpersonaathletebear @sadgirlzluvdilfs @ilovebill-and-gustav @neganscumbucket @manipulatorpoem @im-a-goddamn-cat @raininhell @mahogany-cherry-wine @daryldixmedown @munsonslovergirl @sanctuaryforthelost @thelauraborealis @carlgrimesbbg @c3linesworld @blueheisenbergtragedy @startwinklekitty @darlingmadelinee @oceandeepthirst @jschlattsqtip @lavenderchai @sweetbutpsychobutsweet @neganswoman @n7crophiliac @cats-writing @alldevilsarehere90 @natykacenka @queermilfs @stasiaangelsinner @lupa-03 @sadgirlzluvdilfs @pamago-bb @javier-penas-wifexx420 @motelprincess444 @thatonefroggirl @myhappyplaceofstuff @darlingmadelinee @used2beee @easystreet07 @princess-23-xoxo @twdxtrevor @dilfsandmartinis @sarahhxx03 @minaxcarter @kukka-roo @rinsdesires
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anonymous-existences · 5 months ago
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Chapter 3: New Faces, New Job, New Everything.
Continuation to the Prolouge, Chapter 1 and 2.
Danny stares at Dante in absolute shock, Red Hood? RED HOOD?? OF ALL PEOPLE. Dante had to meet the rumored and probably the most violent of the Vigilantes. And Red Hood being a literal Crime Lord makes this worse.
"He had a fat ass to be hone-" Dante Blurted with a smirk but Danny cuts him off, "No, No. Shut up. I don't wanna hear your- or my- wait no. YOU'RE gay shenanigans." Danny pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to process the whole story.
"Let me get this.. straight-... You ... Ugh.... Ancients save me. YOU. MET. RED HOOD. AFTER. Beating up... Someone in his HAUNT?? And what do you mean he's a revenant? I thought frostbite said those were the "rare cases" of semi-halfas" Danny tries to clear up all the information in his head through just yelling it out.
"Yep." Dante popping the "P" and does not elaborate on anything else but a simple 'yep'.
"Kill me fully- wait... No. Jazz wouldn't want that." Danny reminded himself and took a deep breathe.
"I am so telling Clockwork." Danny spoke out.
"Oh come on! I'm in physical probation! I defended someone from getting bad things happen to them—" Danny cut him off.
"You can say "Fucked up shit" you know stop physically censoring yourself." Danny just stared at Dante with a judgemental face. Dante gasped dramatically like he's offended by that statement.
"OH WOW. It's not like I'm trying to 'Censor' myself because you're a traumatized 13 year old kid and I'm an adult given the responsibility of YOU cuz I love you like my brother." Dante states emphasizing every word.
"You sound like a drag queen." Danny blurts out
"I look better in pink anyways." Dante smirked smugly and Danny just frowned and sighed as Dante Ruffled his hair Mischievously.
"Don't you have a job interview today?" Danny grabbed his hand and gently places it away from his poor hair.
"I already got hired. They said I fit the job." Dante sounded very proud of himself before Danny blurts out "I think they hired you on the spot because you're Eye Candy."
Dante was stunned and thought about it for a moment.
Hmm.
"Yeah I suppose but that doesn't matter now, I have a normal job and people doesn't seem to be bothered by me at all so it's very good." Danny imagined that if Dante had a tail he'd be wagging it and Danny didn't like that mental image of a fucking CATBOY DAN- "UUUUUGHH! I hate that." He drags his palm on his face dramatically.
"And you Danny. Is coming with me to work. I am not leaving you in the apartment because. I will list it.
1. Someone might break in and you're not safe.
2. You might kill that someone either through ghost or through your tendencies to grab that goddamn creep stick and hit without hesitation.
3. I am not letting you play DOOMED for 7 hours straight, But I will let you play Minecraft.
4. You or well, We. Tend to roam away from home when we are bored, in this case you do. And ding ding ding we're in Gotham.
5. If you ever got into any danger. I would not worry if you're okay. I would worry if you killed someone first.
That's your list."
Dante started Loud and Clear.
"Fine but I get to bring both my phone and headphones with my switch." Danny Complied with a deal making Dante smile triumphantly, "Fine with me Twerp, and you better behave at the cafe." He chuckles and Pats Danny's Head Gently but still mischievously.
Danny also giggled, Danny's chest felt warm. And his core buzzed in familiar happiness as Dante and Danny Pressed their foreheads into each other before Dante pats Danny's shoulder and stands back up with a groan.
"Let's go kid, get ready now." Dante stretched his body and cracks some of his "old bones" as Danny heads to his bedroom and takes his sling bag and puts his 'neccesities' inside with a smile.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Tim heard about a new Cafe opening nearby Gotham U, although at first he was suspicious of how so many people are already visiting it and even the lines reach outside. He soon found out why. One of their workers was rumored to be apparently "eye candy" or whatever they called people who are very attractive.
This worker was the main Barista and he apparently makes the drinks Infront of the people and he was good at it.
That got Tim even more curious, How attractive does someone have to be that people of all genders are lining up on a new store as if a celebrity is inside. And so he decided to wait in line like any other student as to not direct any attention to himself because that would be utterly humiliating for him.
He waited.....
And waited....
And kept Waiting and Waiting....
Until finally, what felt like an eternity he finally got to order His Coffee.
It seems the rumors are true, the bartender is indeed attractive. Tim got even more curious about how the big man seemed to have canine sharp teeth, oddly pale complexion that almost looks... Purple? And Lazarus Green Water with Red Rims.
"An Americano with two shots please.." He states to the Cashier, "And name please?" The Cashier asks again.
"Timothy." He calmly tells her as she writes it down to a receipt and hands it to the orders That the "Eye Candy" Man and Another Worker was Making.
Tim sat on a nearby table. It was the only table that happened to be empty. Except a 13 years old kid just sitting there playing... Minecraft? Okay-.
The kid stared at Tim, Tim stares back. 'He looks like adoption Bait.' Tim thinks to himself then suddenly he slowly feels weird, as if he's being judged intensely, Unfortunately and possibly even worse than how Damian judges him.
"You look like an overworked 9-5 office worker that has no paid vacations or time off for a student." the kid suddenly speaks out and it felt as though Tim had just been shot with a non-existent arrow of truth.
"Wha-" Tim tries to ask but the kid interrupts him before he could even start, "you should really get some sleep and maybe lessen your intake of Coffee... Ah right. Name's Danny by the way. Sorry. You just started staring at me so I couldn't help but state my opinion." The kid, or well... Danny said as he went back to playing Minecraft on his switch.
"I- it's... It's fine. I know I need sleep... All college students do- it's normal." Timothy just sighs and nods subtly, knowing full well this random kid is right.
Goddamit, the kid acts like Damian a bit too- and he has the typical black hair blue eyes appearance, possibly an orphan attitude. Tim continues to have a subtle Life Crisis in his head.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
'Such a weird person.' Danny thought to himself and chuckled softly.
He continues to play Minecraft with Tucker and Sam to Pass his time and so he doesn't go all deppreso mid-daylight. The amount of people entering the cafe was still... Concerning at the very least, now that the customers have heard Dante's voice... They started to call him the "Everything in one Package." Which was way worse than "Eye Candy" to be honest.
'Vlad would be confused and shocked.... I wonder how Ellie is doing.. hopefully not too bad....' Danny hums to himself as he made a gravesite ingame for Jazz to remember her by.
It has become tradition for these teens to make jazz a gravesite whenever they start a new world and they always made sure it's beautiful and colorful in a way Jazz would have liked it.
Danny smiled as he finished up the ingame Gravesite.
Although it hurts to see and do this every time, he still loves it because then he has something to remind him of her existence.
Her precious Existence as he likes to call it.
"I miss her so much..." He mutters to himself.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
"I'm so... Tired." Dante was plopped onto the couch lazily.
"I am scared to be an adult like you..." Danny just stared at Dante as he Begrudgingly sat back up from the couch to stretch his body and head to the kitchen to cook.
"I met a random older student today, we kinda talked. He called me adoption bait which was funny because technically I am considering V l a d." Danny laughed.
"Adoption Bait my ass, who would want to adopt a little messy homeless looking goblin." Dante just chuckled smugly and Danny Pouts. " I am not a homeless looking kid" he tries to defend himself "that's the thing you're most concerned about in my sentence?" Dante tucked his hair back into a tight Ponytail and let's it flow naturally like fire.
"I know I'm a goblin, it's just how I am." Danny proudly says and pats his chest and puffs it out with pride.
"Ofcourse you do... Ah right. Kiddo I have a surprise for you tomorrow. So make sure to get enough sleep today alright?" Dante kneels down to Danny's Height to speak to him properly.
Danny thinks for a second, "Sure! I like surprises!" Danny giggled nodded profusely in excitement.
"Good." Dante smiled softly, he loves it when Danny is happy. His core loves when Danny is also happy. A happy Danny is a happy Dante.
He wishes this could go on forever. Just Danny smiling and not screaming for his life in his nightmares.
My Arm is cold from writing this <33
Enjoy though.
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pinksobg · 7 months ago
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Message from someone that loves you 💌
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so good to be back! I was doing some exams and recovering myself. 🌷 happy leo season for you all and happy birthday to me yay ☺🍵 I hope you guys enjoy this pick a card and that you all are doing good! <3
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Pile 1 - Hello, hello cinnamon roll! Pile one! Yes, yes. Ok! Could it be a child? Definitely someone younger than you. Or a childhood friend for some people in this pile. Ok! It could also be a friend from adolescence. Ok, that person. I keep thinking "soul level." Ok! It could be that you have healed your inner children together! How cute! Someone with a good sense of humor, cheerful, and upbeat.
Message: Don’t let anyone tell you what to do. I don’t like seeing you feeling down or being bossed around. What I mean is that I want to see you show your braver and more authentic side to the world more often. But, haha, yeah, maybe the world isn’t ready. My dear, I don’t know if you care much about your appearance, but you attract more attention than you think! You are much more beautiful than you realize! Much more. 💌 I will protect you, I will protect your heart, just as you did with my inner child’s heart, haha. Don’t look at me like that! I’ve grown up a lot already, haha! I learned from you and see you as a role model. It’s true, you inspire me. Even from afar or without words. Watching you chase your dreams is amazing! It’s what I want to see the most! Yay! 💌 I’ll send you a song.
songs: blessed-cursed - enhypen; birds of a feather - billie eilish; say you won't let go - james arthur.
___________________
Pile 2 - Hello pile 2! My melody! Ah! How sweet! It could be a romantic interest or someone who has a crush on you! How cute! Really, you give this person butterflies in their stomach or speed up their heart. It could also be a confirmation if you’re feeling discomfort in your lower back, because I started noticing that while writing the beginning of your pile, and I wasn’t feeling it before. Anyway, let’s go to your message?
Message: Hi! You don’t leave my mind and can sometimes make me a bit confused. Well, yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about you, but my ability with words isn’t as good or as voracious as my thoughts. In my thoughts, everything seems to work out perfectly, thank you, but I wonder if you feel the same. I’m at a loss for words to describe or express what I feel inside. 💌 Your scent is wonderful and your hair is beautiful! Something about you makes me admire you so much, and I’m looking to meet people like you now. Thank you for helping me notice certain patterns in my life. Now I just want people in my life who make me feel good, just like you do. You are someone who makes others feel heard, and that’s great! I want to be like that too. 💌 See you again! <3 💌🌷
songs: fate - g-idle; stereo hearts - gym class heroes ft adam levine; don't you worry Child.
___________________
Pile 3 - Hello, hello pile 3! Hello Kitty pile! It seems to be an old friend, someone whose connection reminds you of human warmth or maybe summer. Predominantly feminine energy. Ok! Let’s go to your message?
Message: Hi, dear! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Well, you seem a bit tired? If you feel guilty for resting or wanting to rest, please don’t feel guilty. If you’re choosing between two paths, let me tell you a story to try to help you! Sometimes we’re like ducks swimming in a familiar lake, but sometimes we have to move and migrate to another place because of the temperature. So, don’t feel guilty for choosing what’s best for you now, my dear. 💌 Look, I have to tell you that I’m very proud of you! I’ve always believed in you, and your potential never ceases to amaze me, you know? 💌 Shine brightly as always, you’re my rock star!
songs: bring me to life - evanescence; ophelia - the lumineers; sweet juice - purple kiss; midas touch - kiss of life.
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azrielandhisshadows · 5 months ago
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winter's kiss (4)
pairing: azriel x reader
word count: 3.9k
warnings: mention of bad relationship with parents and fighting
a/n: wow, sorry everyone, I really dove into this. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and thank you for your support of this fic!
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morning came at the first light of dawn, soft and golden light leaking through your windows. You awoke with excitement and anticipation for the days ahead. Today was only the beginning of getting to know the male that you could spend the rest of your life with. You walked onto your balcony and took in the beauty of the Dawn Court. The flowers growing on the sides of the buildings and the vibrant greenery below were bathed in the morning light. The crisp air served as a reminder of your home in the Winter Court and how much has changed since you were there last. 
The thought of Kallias’s continued distrust weighed heavily on your mind. You understood that building trust would take time and patience. Kallias’s protective nature towards you was something you valued deeply, and it was only natural for him to be wary of the Night Court and its members, especially given his past experiences. Yet, you couldn’t ignore the growing connection you felt with Azriel, a connection that seemed worth fighting for.
With a deep breath, you resolved to embrace the day with a positive outlook, ready to build upon the bond you were starting to form with Azriel. As you dressed and prepared for the day, you focused on the opportunities that lay ahead—opportunities to get to know Azriel better and to experience the beauty of the Dawn Court firsthand.
You made your way to the dining room, taking in the breakfast spread that was laid in the center of the room. Kallias and Viviane stopped their conversation with the High Lord of the Dawn Court. Kallias waved you over to the table and motioned you to take a seat. Azriel looked at you from across the room and you gave him a quick smile before walking to your brother’s table. 
The High Lord stood as you approached the table, offering a respectful nod. “Y/N, I’m Thesan. I apologize for not having the opportunity to introduce myself yesterday. It’s a pleasure to have you in my court.”
You returned his nod with a warm smile. “Thank you, Thesan. It’s a pleasure to be here.”
Thesan gestured for you to help yourself to the breakfast spread, which was as lavish as you’d expected. As you served yourself, you could feel Azriel’s eyes on you, a comforting presence amidst the tension of the morning.
Viviane, joining you at the breakfast spread, flashed a mischievous grin. “So, Mor mentioned that a certain Shadowsinger is planning to spend the day with you. Is that true?” A blush crept onto your cheeks as you focused on filling your plate. Viviane’s excited squeal drew Kallias’s attention, momentarily interrupting his conversation with Thesan.
“Viv, be quiet,” you whispered, glancing at Kallias to see that he had returned to his discussion. “Yes, it’s true. Azriel and I decided to use the few days we have left here to get to know each other better when he came to my room last night.”
Viviane’s eyes sparkled with surprise. “He came to your room last night?”
You felt your cheeks flush as you nodded. “Yes, we talked for a while. It was a good conversation, and... we kissed.”
Viviane’s grin widened, clearly delighted by your confession. “Y/N, that’s wonderful! I know you’ll have a great time.”
As you shared a shy smile with Azriel from across the room, you leaned closer to Viviane and whispered, “I’m looking forward to it, but please, don’t tell Kallias. I don’t want him to interfere with my chance to get to know Azriel.”
Viviane nodded understandingly, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Don’t worry. I won’t say a word. I’ll keep him busy today.” She gave you a knowing smirk before making her way back to Kallias. With Viviane’s promise, you breathed a sigh of relief and walked toward the table where Azriel and the rest of the Night Court sat. Everyone at the table was engaged in lively conversation that paused as you approached. 
Azriel stood, a warm and welcoming smile on his face as he pulled out the seat beside him. With a gentle touch, he placed a light kiss on your cheek—a simple, affectionate gesture that sent a ripple of awareness through the room.
A sudden chill swept through the dining area, and you felt the temperature drop slightly. It was then that you realized Kallias had observed the small display of affection. His eyes, usually calm, now held a glint of icy disapproval as he watched from his place at the other table.
Ignoring your brother’s disapproval, you grabbed Azriel’s hand and took the seat he offered you. The others at the table felt the shift in the atmosphere and quickly moved to lighten the mood, diving back into their lively conversation.
Cassian, with his trademark grin, leaned in. “Az, what do you have planned for the lovely Y/N today?” His tone was playful, and his eyes sparkled with mischief.
Azriel smirked at his brother, “Why would I tell you, Cas? Do you plan on joining us?” 
Cassian chuckled, “If that’s your way of saying you need a wingman, I’m there.”
Azriel rolled his eyes, an amused grin gracing his lips. “As if you would be my choice of wingman. Not that I need you there, but I’m keeping my plans a secret; however, I may pick Y/N’s brain on some ways to win this year’s snowball fight.” Azriel smirked at Rhysand and Cassian, a playful glint in his eyes. 
“That’s not fair! She’s from the Winter Court. She could beat any of us in a snowball fight!” Rhysand and Cassian both began to protest.
The rest of the Inner Circle burst into laughter, the atmosphere light and filled with camaraderie. Azriel’s smirk widened as he enjoyed the playful banter, clearly relishing in the light-hearted competition.
Finally, Azriel stood from the table, his gaze returning to you. “Shall we?” He extended his hand with a flourish, his smile warm and inviting.
You stood, taking his hand and feeling a spark of excitement. As you left the dining room, you could still hear the grumbling from Rhysand and Cassian about the unfair advantages and potential strategies you might share with Azriel.
Azriel led you through a set of elegantly carved doors onto a secluded balcony not far from the dining room. As you stepped outside, the dewy air of the Dawn Court greeted you. The sky stretched in waves of beautiful cobalt, kissed with remnants of rose-tinged sunrise. Sparkling rivers merged together from the mountains, a golden light hitting their waves and sending dancing reflections onto the balcony.
You leaned against the balcony edge, taking in the beauty of this moment. The remaining hints of summer on the breeze acting as an overwhelming contrast to your icy home. 
Azriel stood beside you, his presence a comforting warmth against the cool morning air. “I thought you might enjoy this view,” he said softly, his gaze sweeping over the landscape with a hint of pride.
“It’s incredible,” you replied, your eyes still locked on the horizon. “I’ve read about the Dawn Court’s beauty, but seeing it in person is something I only dreamed of.”
Azriel’s eyes softened as he looked at you. With a gentle smile, he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. The simple gesture sent a wave of warmth through you, contrasting with the dewy air.
“This is one of my favorite places to come whenever I’ve been here on missions before, but I have to admit that this still pales in comparison to my home.” Azriel said, his voice low, “I hope I get to show you at some point.”
You glanced up at Azriel, a teasing smile on your lips. “I think you may be a little biased, Shadowsinger… but I would love to see the Night Court. I’m sure everything I’ve heard doesn’t do it justice.”
Azriel squeezed your hand gently, his warm gaze made your heart flutter. You could feel the adoration and affection he sent through your bond, a comforting embrace that seemed to embrace the possibility of your future together. Azriel’s gaze dropped to your lips. Tenderly, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. The soft and gentle kiss evolved with a passionate depth filled with unspoken words and emotions between you.
When you finally pulled away, the world around you seemed to shimmer with a newfound clarity. The bond between you was vibrant and strong, a silent promise of the journey you were embarking on together. Azriel’s gaze remained locked with yours, his eyes reflecting the same depth of emotion you felt within.
“Azriel, I never got to say how thankful I am that you opened up to me last night. It showed me how willing you are to welcome me into your life, especially since I know it can’t be easy for you to trust people. I think it’s only fair that I tell you about my past as well.” You held Azriel’s hands, rubbing your thumbs along the back of his scarred hands. 
Azriel’s eyes were full of quiet understanding and encouragement. “If you aren’t ready to share, you don’t have to. I’m willing to listen whenever you’re ready.”
You smiled up at him before continuing, “Growing up in the Winter Court was often lonely for me. My mother died during childbirth with me and I know my father resented me for her death. No matter what I did, it felt like I could never live up to his expectations or earn his approval. His focus was always on his courtly duties or on training Kallias for his future as High Lord. I felt like a shadow in my own home, someone he wished would just disappear.”
Your voice faltered, and you could feel tears threatening to spill as silver began to line your eyes. Azriel noticed the strain in your voice and wrapped you in a comforting embrace. His arms were warm and reassuring, lending you the strength to continue.
“He had a short temper as well,” you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. “There were many nights that ended with him shouting at me, even if I did nothing to provoke him. Kallias was always the one to step in and diffuse the situation before it got worse. He’s been protective of me since then.”
Azriel held you close, his grip gentle but firm. His warmth and reassurance made you feel safe as you continued. “Kallias and Viviane were always my closest confidantes. Viviane was my escape from the suffocating confines of the palace. She’d help me sneak out to explore the Winter Court, showing me parts of our world beyond the palace walls. And Kallias, he wasn’t just a protective brother. He took the time to train me in the intricacies of court politics, preparing me for a role as his advisor when he became High Lord. He always promised me that I’d have a place by his side.”
“That all changed when Amarantha came around. My father was bewitched by her charm and fell for her deceptive allure, allowing her to gain his trust by becoming his lover. Kallias and I saw through her façade long before Under the Mountain, and we both tried to warn him. Kallias went as far as to encourage me to avoid any dinners or parties where Amarantha would be. My respectability as a future advisor went down from there in the eyes of other members of the court.”
You took a deep breath, feeling a sting of those memories. “Then, when Amarantha invited all the High Lords to Under the Mountain, our father forced Kallias to go. I’ll never forget when Kallias sent Viviane that one final message before Amarantha took their powers away. Kallias left Viviane in charge and told her to ‘not let me get hurt’.” Azriel looked at you, his eyes filled with sadness and empathy. 
“Viviane did everything she could to keep me safe. We both knew that Kallias wouldn’t have wanted me to take charge of the court because I would become a target, especially with my lack of battle training. Viviane didn’t care though. She let me help her take care of our people for those 50 years. Despite the danger, she made sure I was involved – that I had a purpose. When Kallias came home, he became even more protective than before and he was content to keep me in the palace. His extreme protectiveness became stifling and it felt like a reversal of everything Viviane had done to help me.”
Azriel’s hand gently squeezed yours, his gaze tender and reassuring. “Thank you for sharing this with me, Y/N. Your story only proves how strong – how brave – you are. I understand why Kallias is so protective, even if his idea of keeping you safe was wrong. I will prove to him that I’m worthy of you, Y/N.”
A wide smile broke onto your face and tears welled in your eyes at the sincerity of Azriel’s promise. You sent a wave of adoration down the bond and Azriel smiled back at you. As the tears in your eyes began to spill over, Azriel gently wiped them away with his thumb. The gesture was tender, his touch gentle and full of care. You could feel his own emotions through the bond—a blend of fierce devotion and unwavering support.
Hours felt like minutes as you and Azriel spent getting to know each other on the balcony. The sun was beaming down as you both basked in its warmth, a golden light that seemed to mirror the newfound clarity between you. The world outside the balcony faded into a distant murmur, leaving only the intimacy of your shared space.
Azriel’s laughter, light and genuine, was like a melody that lifted your spirits. You found yourself opening up about things you had never shared before, and he listened with an intensity that made you feel seen and understood in ways you hadn’t thought possible.
The conversation flowed effortlessly, touching on everything from childhood memories to dreams for the future. Each word exchanged deepened your connection, creating a bridge of understanding and trust that felt both delicate and unbreakable. 
The two of you reluctantly made your way back into the palace for dinner that should begin shortly. Azriel’s hand was entwined with yours, and you could feel the warmth of his touch, grounding and reassuring after hours of deep, heartfelt conversation. The air was cool against your skin as you entered the palace, a gentle contrast to the warmth of the sun-soaked balcony. The quiet, hushed atmosphere of the halls were a stark contrast to the conversation the two of you had shared, making the moment feel serene.
As you reached a secluded corridor, Azriel pulled you aside and turned you to face him. The soft faelight illuminated his sharp features. His gaze locked onto yours, and the world outside the palace seemed to fade into nothingness.
For a moment, there was only the sound of your combined breaths, mingling in the stillness. Azriel’s thumb lightly brushed your cheek. Your eyes softened as you looked at him and leaned into his other hand that now cupped your face. Slowly, you leaned in, and Azriel met you halfway. Your lips gently explored his as you savored this moment and every sensation you felt. Your hands moved instinctively, one resting on his chest while the other found its way to his neck, pulling him closer.
The kiss deepened, growing more passionate than other kisses you had shared, but it held the same sincerity and affection that had marked your day together. Azriel’s arms wrapped around your back, his lips slowly moving down your neck. Breathy moans escaped your lips as he continued, leaving marks as he moved to your collarbone. The intimate moment was ruined as a loud voice cracked through the silence.
“Azriel!”
Your eyes snapped to the main hall, and your heart dropped as you saw your brother with a storm of rage in his eyes. Kallias’s silent rage quickly turned into action as he surged forward. He ripped Azriel away from you and threw him against the wall of the main hall. 
Azriel recovered from his impact with the wall, but not before Kallias’s hands began to glow with evidence of ice gathering around his fingertips. Kallias shot a shard of ice in Azriel’s direction, aiming for his abdomen. Azriel winnowed out of the way, barely missing the ice traveling through where he stood. 
“Do not touch my sister!” Kallias shouted, his voice filled with fury. 
Azriel dodged another shard of ice that Kallias hurled at him, the projectile narrowly missing him as it embedded into the wall behind. Azriel’s shadows swirled around him, reacting fiercely to the danger, their tendrils extending towards you and wrapping around you with a comforting, gentle touch. The scene was a chaotic ballet of ice and shadows, with Kallias’s eyes locked onto Azriel, his fury unyielding as he conjured more shards of ice with lethal precision.
“Kallias, I have no intention of hurting Y/N,” Azriel’s voice cut through the storm of magic. “She is my mate. Why would I cause her harm?”
Suddenly, the hall was filled with the sound of footsteps and concerned voices as everyone burst from the dining room. Everyone watched on, unsure of how to stop the two males and the storm of their magic. 
Desperation surged through you as you continued to watch the confrontation grow between Azriel and Kallias. Determined to end the madness, you took a deep breath and ran into the crossfires of the magic.
“Stop it, both of you!” you shouted, your voice breaking through the clamor of clashing magic. You thrust yourself between them, trying to shield yourself from the ice and shadows.
Still in his frenzied state, Kallias was unable to stop his next attack. A shard of ice, propelled with immense force, pierced your shoulder as you intervened. You gasped and fell to the floor, the cold of the ice spread quickly through your body, mixing with the searing heat of your injury. 
Azriel’s face dropped in horror as you fell. His shadows raced forward and guarded you with a shadowed embrace. Azriel dropped beside you and held you.
“Y/N, are you alright?” Azriel’s face was pale with concern and anguish. 
Viviane and the others rushed from the other side of the hall toward you and Azriel. Viviane smoothed the ruffled pieces of hair as tears ran down your face.  “Y/N, we need to get you help,” Viviane said, her voice filled with concern. 
Cassian’s eyes were dark with rage as he took in the scene. “What the hell, Kallias? What were you thinking,” Cassian roared, his voice echoing with fury. Cassian raced towards Kallias, his fist clenched at his side, ready to hit Kallias.
“Cassian, that’s enough,” Rhysand said, his voice filled with lethal command.“Our focus must be on Y/N’s safety, not on how Kallias lost control and endangered her—and Azriel.”
Rhysand’s gaze turned to Kallias, his eyes reflecting a mix of disappointment and steely resolve. “You will answer for this,” he said, his tone brooking no argument. “This is your sister and you could’ve killed her.”
Kallias, visibly shaken and guilt-ridden, could only nod silently, unable to meet Rhysand’s piercing gaze.
Despite the searing pain and the icy cold spreading through your body, your anger flared uncontrollably. You struggled to maintain your composure, but your voice cut through the air like a blade. “You couldn’t trust me or my judgment enough, and this is what you resort to?” Your glare was fierce, filled with betrayal and hurt. “You’re no better than our father, Kallias.”
The accusation in your tone struck Kallias with a force stronger than the one that caused your injury. Viviane winced at your words, her eyes brimming with a pain that mimicked what her mate felt at your words. Kallias dropped down beside Viviane, and grasped your hand in his.
“Y/N, I—I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Kallias stammered, his voice breaking. “I would never purposely hurt you. You know that.”
You jerked your hand away from his grip, the swift movement sending a jolt of pain through your injured body. “No, you wouldn’t. You only intended to harm my mate and take me back to the Winter Court where you could keep me locked away,” you spat, your voice filled with raw anger and hurt.
Kallias’s face fell, his eyes brimming with a mix of guilt and anguish. He was left kneeling beside Viviane, unable to meet your furious gaze. The gravity of your words seemed to sink in deeply, leaving him visibly shaken.
“Let me take you to a healer, please, Y/N.” Kallias’s voice cracked. 
“No, I don’t want to be around you, Kallias.” The pain in your shoulder was becoming overwhelming. You looked up at Azriel, who still held you in his arms. “Azriel, I want to go with you. Take me to your home – to the Night Court.” Azriel between you and Rhysand, his eyes unsure. Rhysand came over and placed a hand on Azriel’s shoulder.
“Take her home, Az. I’ll have Madja waiting for you.”
The pain in your shoulder became unbearable as the room started fading out. The last thing you remember were Kallias and Viviane’s concerned stares as Azriel winnowed you away.
You awoke in an unfamiliar room with dim lights making it difficult to figure out where you were. The dull pain in your shoulder was a persistent reminder of the chaotic events that led to this moment. You shifted cautiously, trying to get a better sense of your surroundings without aggravating the pain. 
Azriel was asleep in a chair next to your bed. His head was tipped forward, and his breathing was steady and even. The sight of him, looking so vulnerable and exhausted, brought a mixture of relief and guilt.
You tried to call out softly, but your voice was barely a whisper. “Azriel…”
At the faint sound of your voice, Azriel stirred. His eyes fluttered open, and he immediately straightened in his chair, concern flashing across his face as he saw you awake.
“You’re awake,” he said, his voice a gentle mix of relief and worry. He reached out to take your hand in his, his touch warm and reassuring. “How are you feeling?”
You managed a small, pained smile. “My shoulder still hurts a lot. How are you?”
Azriel chuckled at your concern for him and rubbed his thumb along the back of your hand, his touch a soft comfort. “I’m fine. I’ve been worried about you. I’m glad you’re awake.”
The exhaustion was etched into the lines of his face, but his tender touch reminded you of the depth of his affection. “You need to get some rest too,” you said quietly.
“I’d much rather be here with you.” His gaze lingered on you, full of relief.
“How long have I been asleep,” you asked as your eyes met his with warmth and curiosity.
“A few hours,” Azriel’s smile softened. “Madja gave you a sleeping tonic to keep you asleep while she healed you. She talked about how deep your wound was and she didn’t want to hurt you further.”
You nodded, taking in the information while feeling comforted by his presence. “Thank you for staying with me,” you said softly, your eyes conveying more than words could.
Azriel squeezed your hand gently, his expression a blend of relief and unwavering support. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
You looked deep into Azriel’s eyes, confusion lingering on your features. “Azriel, I know we’re in the Night Court, but where are we?”
Azriel smiled at you, pure joy present in his eyes as he leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek.
“You’re in Velaris.”
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taglist: @marvelsmylife@darlingoftheshadowss@scatteredstardustt @elizabethrosecresswell @lilah-asteria @azrielsmate3
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blushcoloreddreams · 6 months ago
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Perfume IS an essencial: Here’s 4 reasons why
Good Afternoon Dear Reader! Happy Saturday directly from Argentina
Before we dive into today's topic, I wanted to talk briefly about why these "practical" and lighter and style blog posts are JUST as important as the heart-felt blogs on heavier topics and more practical ones like organization, cooking and cleaning tips
This blog is a place where I am trying to gather useful information to help us grow as feminine women, whether that is in our hearts, our homes, our lives, or even in our own skin. I believe in a well-rounded growth perspective: I am trying to improve many areas of my life, even if they are just practical and simple.
So today I wanted to talk about one of these more "practical and simple" topics: perfume.
At first glance this topic can seem kind of boring, like "yeah, no one likes smelling bad, so wear perfume, DUH." But I think perfume is so much more than that!
I believe that a spritz of perfume can actually improve your day, your confidence, and your overall aura as a feminine woman.
***DISCLAIMER: I know that smells can trigger allergic reactions in people, and there are actually fragrance-free zones such as certain churches or work environments. Do not break those rules just to follow my advice LOL!
The women jn my life were always had a passion from perfumery and I remember using it even as a child, but I only started being interested in it during my teenage years and in the past my interest and collection only grew. But I remember that during times of intense sadness in my life, I understand that something simple as even filling in your eyebrows can be a completely exhausting task! So much personal care falls off your daily routine when you can't handle what life is throwing at you and I think that adding perfume to your routine can be an easy way to elevate your grooming.
In order to really stick to this habit, I decided to focus on WHY I should wear perfume. So here we go! This may convince you too.
1. Perfume Adds LUXURY To Life
I know what some of you may be thinking: "I'm just at home, and deodorant is good enough for me!" or "I'm just in an office chair, why do I need to smell amazing?" and finally, "I'm just going to work out later so it doesn't matter!"
You know what I say to all those reasons?
You are an amazing woman and you deserve to have a little extra luxury in your day, even if you are behind a vacuum, a computer, or a treadmill.
Most of us aren't going to be lounging on a velvet chaise with champagne and a cashmere blanket wrapped around us tonight anyways! We're not living that lux life, so why not add extra luxury into our days?
When you're vacuuming the house or reading through spreadsheets, it can be easy to feel like cinderella BEFORE she went to the ball. A fragrance reminds you that you are an elegant, feminine WOMAN, and that you are WORTHY of a little luxury.
So pick up a fragrance you love, (doesn't have to be costly,) and indulge! You are WORTHY of that extra 10 seconds on yourself.
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2. Perfume Can Make You HAPPIER!
So today I was spritzing on some body spray when I realized that I had a soft smile on my face. Seriously: I was just smiling to myself! Sol de Janeiro cheirosa 71 (my newest obsession! ) evokes a reaction of pleasure: it makes me smile.
Do you remember learning about the senses in school? They can evoke emotion, thoughts, feelings, and action. Touch can make you take action when you feel pain. Taste evokes pleasure when you encounter delicious food. Likewise, smell can evoke pleasant emotion or distaste.
If there was a little life hack that could have you smiling 2 more times a day than you already do, wouldn't you do it? Fragrance is SUCH simple way to accomplish this!
And a bonus? When you smell good, other people notice! I LOVE when my husband tells me I smell good, or when a friend goes in for a hug and comments that she loves the smell I'm wearing. Smelling good feels GOOD!
3. Perfume Helps You Get in Touch With FEMININITY
When I was a kid, Id watch every morning my mom and grandma get ready and wear their favorite perfumes ( that I have the smell in my memory to this day). I made a promise to myself that when I became a woman at the age of I would begin doing 3 things EVERY DAY: wearing lipstick, carrying a stylish purse, and wearing perfume.
I think I knew, even as a child, that perfume was for women. Full grown, feminine, gracious, beautiful women. Adding fragrance to your routine is a way of stepping into that feminine womanhood and embracing yourself.
Perfume can also be especially helpful for women who are kind of uncomfortable with their femininity. You can begin exploring the possibilities with just a small change. Add a bit of mystery, femininity, sweetness, or glamour to ANY outfit. Elevate your look and tip toe into femininity with a fragrance. Pair a ponytail and sneakers with some vanilla body spray: you might be surprised at how it makes you smile!
4. Perfume Helps You EXPRESS Yourself
I truly believe that the sense of smell is neglected in our modern culture. We are MUCH more focused on the visuals of our beauty routine: hair, fashion, makeup, etc. And why? Well, you can't smell a picture on Instagram! Why invest in something so small when no one can really experience it? Who cares about smell?
Well, maybe we SHOULD care! When you meet someone, you are taking them in through a lot of the senses: a firm handshake, the visuals of their face, the way their voice sounds, and yes, THEIR SMELL!
When you go out into the world, think about the entire picture of you as a person: your smell, your style, your "vibe." What is your overall aura? Perfume can help you add a dimension of creative expression to your overall vibe and style. Express yourself!
***Bonus tip: Hydration is essential for perfume performance and it starts from the inside by drinking enough water and continues with applying lotion before your perfume. (Even better if you can do it post shower when your skin is still a bit damp). Some people also apply a small bit of vaseline or petroleum jelly to your wrists and neck (the pulse regions) before you spray. It helps your scent last longer!
And closing, perfume can add luxury to our day, help us feel happy, help us get in touch with femininity, and allow us to express ourselves! What's not to love?
xoxo
Júlia
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blushingbubbles · 20 days ago
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guide to becoming a good girl part 5: what i love about it 
(exempt from the forbidden word rules)
each morning now, i wake up with one of my three holes stuffed. 
last night a vibrator was wedged in my pussy -- a vibrator that’d been on for most of sleeping time. to make sure i didn’t accidentally pull it out or turn it off, i'd wrapped myself like a burrito in so many blankets, and i ended up sleeping like a baby. 
this morning, it was instinct rather than forethought that had me filming my pussy. on camera, i pulled the toy out, and was shocked when a puddle of wetness spilled out too. i was soooo messy. i turned the video into a gif and watched it over and over again on a loop. i imagined that, instead of it being my own wetness, that someone had pumped me full of their cum. i imagined they’d bred me and filmed it trickling out. 
that thought triggered my first edge of the day. after, i checked tumblr notifs, and a hazy conditioning memory floated back from the night before.
my holes don't belong to me anymore.
a small voice says it. almost like an afterthought...or maybe an instinct. but someone had said it to me hours prior...
had they been conditioning me that my holes don't belong to me anymore? or had they been explaining a fact? 
no.. yeah..that's right. they hadn’t conditioned my lack of autonomy. they’d only explained that i’ve never actually had any. and they're absolutely right. everything i've ever done was to make other people happy.
i've subconsciously acted on others wishes for like my entire life, and i like doing it. i am happier when im making other people happy! i like putting a smile on other people's faces!! there's nothing wrong with that, and i dont want to pretend like there is!!
i got up to make the bed, and the voice my holes don't belong to me anymore continued kinda floating around me. i spent a few minutes brushing my hair and tidying my bedroom. i checked my roommate's location. i love her (let's call her A), but i was sooooo relieved when i saw she wasn't home. i went to the kitchen, naked and dripping. the dishes in the sink belonged to A, and i washed them anyway. 
i wouldn't have done it two months ago. two months ago, i would've left her mess for her and gone about the day. but now i know when A comes home she’ll be relieved that i took care of it!!! and i love being the one to provide that relief!!
after the kitchen was clean i put a little cardigan on to take some pictures of my tits. an anon asked for the holes report, and i like 2 accompany that with a tit picture so everyone knows the most important assets made it through the night (haha)
i lovvvveee taking tit pictures. i love that they make people happy, and knowing they make people happy makes me more confident!! 
over the day i drink enough water, i take meds, i keep the house clean. a Superior suggests i put ben wa balls in my pussy -- they'll make my wet hole even tighter!!
im quickly reminded that if im tightening my pussy at someone's request… it doesn't really belong to me anymore, does it? i like.. have the hole... but it's not mine to use. it's just mine to take care of so others can use it.
tonight ill sleep cockwarming another toy at another Superior's request, and the process will start over (and over) again, and it's so so good for me. i'm so happy like this, and i wouldn't change a thing <3
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harrysgal · 9 months ago
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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (2)
harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU
I know I’m just starting and don’t actually have much experience with this, but I’m actually having a lot of fun doing it and already can’t wait to post more.
About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.
Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.
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PART 1 — MEET YN / MASTERLIST
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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 2) — LAS VEGAS
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liked by bestfriend, yourmom, mollyjane_x and 22,108 others 
yourinstagram HELLOOOOOOO FABULOUS LAS VEGAS NEVADA 
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user1 soooo… a new full time job that took you to las vegas? 👀 yourbrother Please behave  bestfriend don’t get (too) drunk without me pls harryfan STOP FIRST LOT SHOW IT’S IN VEGAS 
↳ harryfan2 She’s going to the show right???? I mean it can’t be just a coincidence anymore IT JUST CAN’T ↳ harryfan NO I KNOW THIS IS IT I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES
Aug 26, 2021 •
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liked by bestfriend, cuteguy, mollyjane_x and 22,451 others 
yourinstagram you’d think a lady in vegas would be out there getting wild but this one actually has been locked in her hotel room for the last 27 hours overthinking her ideas and freaking out about this new job lol if any of you could send me a pizza or something id appreciate it. thanks. 
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user1 nooooo you’re so talented whatever it is i know you can do it!! bestfriend yn ✋🏻  cuteguy Should I give you a call? 😊 harryfan17 I would too be freaking out if I had to work for THE harry styles lol
↳ harryfan16 we still don’t know if she is tho  ↳ harryfan17 C’mon she’s in vegas and molly and jeff are following her ↳ harryfan16 still 🤷🏻‍♀️ tour doesn’t start for another few days so this could be just about something else  ↳ harryfan16 also maybe she’s there because she wants to be and not bc she’s “working” for him. she’s done videos about several artists and she isn’t working for any of them is she?  ↳ harryfan17 Well yes but she literally just said she was starting a new job so 🤷‍♀️ ↳ harryfan16 so everyone just assumed HARRY, out of all people, hired her? c’mon guys lol she could be working for just anyone and STILL go to a show. one doesn’t have to be related to the other.
Aug 28, 2021 •
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liked by anthonypham, bestfriend, lookitsnyoh and 25,103 others 
yourinstagram fun fact: if you post something on the internet people around you might see it 🫠
guess im lucky this lovely group who still don’t know me at all cared enough to drag me out of my room and show me around the city. sometimes i get so caught up inside my mind that i forget how important human connection is — which is funny if you think most of my videos are exactly about that lol. so plssssss make sure to surround yourself with (nice) people. also get some sleep, drink water and feed yourself. it’ll do wonderful things for you!!!
anyway my mom was worried about my “not leaving the room post” so this is just me saying everythings good!! (i also already called her of course <3)
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bestfriend LOVE YOU harryfan the new followers the new likes 😭 it’s happening i knew it  user1 so true bestie!! this reminded me of your 2nd video i think
↳ yourinstagram omg yesssss!!  ↳ user1 ahh i missed your interactions <3  ↳ yourinstagram i knowww! promise i’ll try my best to keep interacting even if it’s not as much as before 💗
lookitsnyoh my belly still hurts from all the laughing 
↳ yourinstagram and my mind is still rushing from all the talking ↳ anthonypham go to sleep you two 
harryfan9 I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING BUT OMFG I’M SO HERE FOR IT
Aug 29, 2021 •
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liked by anthonypham, mollyjane_x, bestfriend and 27,257 others 
yourinstagram sightseeing left me speechless. but here’s a picture from tonight. 
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user1 omg you’re feeding us this week! i’m so happy you’re being active again <3 harryfan78 POST A PICTURE OF YOURSELF I WANT TO MEET YOU AT THE SHOW BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE 
↳ user4 calm down pls? we like to behave as respectful human beings on this profile
bestfriend ❤️❤️❤️ bestfriend i’m losing my mind but i’m also so excited and proud! user7 I miss your videos :( lookitsnyoh when was this? where was I? bummed that I missed it!
↳ yourinstagram sorryyy just a last minute decision after dinner :( ↳ lookitsnyoh ohhhh makes sense now! Glad it left you speechless ↳ yourinstagram i mean the city is beautiful  ↳ lookitsnyoh sure thing it is 👽
Sep 1, 2021 •
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liked by harryfan, harryfan2 and 15,157 others 
fanwhometharry GUYS I JUST MET HARRY I’M SHAKKNG I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE NOW 
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harryfan64 omg where did you meet him??
↳ fanwhometharry AT THE BELLAGIO  ↳ harryfan64 is he staying there???  ↳ fanwhometharry NO!! I MEAN IDK?? I DONT RHINK SO I JUST MET HIM OUTSIDE AT THE FOUNTAINS  ↳ harryfan74 hmm not tryin to be rude or something but that sounds like a weird place for him to be tbh ↳ fanwhometharry I FUCKKNG KNOW THAT?? I MEAN MY PARENTS WANTED TO SEE THE WATER SHOW SO I TAGGED ALONG BUT NEVER EVER THOUGHT ID BUMP INTO HIM THERE
harryfan62 you’re so lucky!! was he alone???
↳ imetharry I DONT KNOW?? I DONT REMEMBER I WAS SO NERVOUS  ↳ imetharry I KNOW THERE WAS A GIRL NEARBY BC SHE HANDED HIM A PEN WHEN I COULDNT FIND MINE BUT I DONT KNOW IF SHE WAS WITH HJIM OR NOT ↳ harryfan62 who was this girl? Anyone from the LOT crew? ↳ imetharry IDK I JUST SAID I DONT EVEN KNOW IF SHE WAS WITH HIM OR NOT 😭
harryfan15 Hi hun! Don’t listen to people, they're just jealous. It was really sweet of him to sign that for you! Hope you have a great time at the show 💕
↳ imetharry THANK YOU 😭😭 HE WAS THERE JUST WATCHING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON SO I DIDN’T WANT TO TAKE A PIC IF PEOPLE DON’T BELIEVE ME THEN I DON’T CARE I KNOW IT’S REAL 😭😭
Sep 1, 2021 •
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liked by gemmastyles, anthonypham, jefezoff and 35,109 others 
yourinstagram having to keep this secret from the world was the most cruelest thing that anyone has ever done to me. but whatever… it’s fine… i’m okay… i’m just gonna pretend this wasn’t a big deal and i didn’t just watch one of my favorite artists perform my favorite songs… and then i’ll just casually say: pls stay tuned for next wednesday when my new video will be up 😇
(i’ll be back and share more details once my serotonin levels have normalized again)
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bestfriend i love you so much thank you for representing us so well  harryfan I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT OMFG I CANT WAIT I KNEW IT harryfan2 YN KASDHUHHD PLS OMFG YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THIS AND LEAVE user1 😲 i can’t wait for this one! harrystyles soz 
↳ harryfan OMFG HARRY ↳ harryfan5 ?????????????????????????? ↳ harryfan3 AUIDHIAUSHDBAJH WTF ↳ harryfan9 ARE YOU F KIDDING ME WHATS HE DOING HERE
cuteguy Nice! Glad you’re having a good time darling. 
Sep 4, 2021 •
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PART 3: DENVER
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If you happen to read and enjoy this, pls let me know? 🙏 thanks!! it would be nice to know if this is working, or what else would people would like to see.
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creatingblackcharacters · 2 months ago
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Hello! Sending it here again:
I play an mmo game which recently had a big character model update, it's still not perfect but we're getting there! They're sharing behind the scenes work on curly hairstyles, for example, which just... weren't there for the longest time. Oh the beauty of scandinavian white-centering... (sarcasm)
anyway, I'm from eastern-central Europe, I play on eastern Europe servers. Seeing someone with a character that's not white is... pretty rare, honestly. So rare that when I do see someone using a character that's clearly meant to be a POC, they're very often roleplaying. Recently I saw a player whom I know for a fact is white, as I know them irl (we're not friends, don't even talk much but I know what they look like) and their character used to be white too before the big update.
So my question is, does that count as digital blackface, and what even is the consensus on digital blackface as a whole? I used to be in a facebook group about unlearning racism (used to because it got deleted after some admin drama, I think? If anyone knows a similar group, let me know please) and there, most Black members agreed that if someone is white, they shouldn't be using Black emojis for example (the topic of mmos never came up, I think). I don't remember the exact reasoning but I think it was the same explanation as actual blackface. But then there were some Black people saying it's going too far and we should be focusing on "actual issues" instead. I know that's to be expected, I'm trans and I know all too well that a community is not a monolith. But seeing the player reminded me that I don't actually know that much about it, and I've seen you educate people before. I hope it's okay that I'm asking you, I'd love to do some further research as well though (I love learning things, I just also don't yet trust myself to find actually good sources).
I hope this ask makes sense, english is not my first language and all. So if I wrote something wrong, please assume I meant well, as I still don't know how to word things properly in english sometimes.
Thank you for doing what you do, btw. I really appreciate having someone compile everything like you do here, it's one of my favorite creative blogs on here.
Okay so I sat on this one for a minute to make sure my answer wouldn't change.
1) there is no one consensus. White people don't agree on everything, neither do we 😅. This would just be my opinion.
2) I definitely don't think you should be using Black emojis if you're a white person, no. That's overt Blackfacing. DEFINITELY don't pretend to be Black if you aren't!!
3) for me, I think designing your characters as Black for online play can be okay in theory, as long as you're coming at it respectfully. Like, I'd have to trust that you actually wanted to learn how to play as someone that didn't look like you, that you actually cared about Black character features and presence in games as a whole. Especially on a game where you get to design the character, versus when you're forced to play as a Black person. It's hard to trust the intentions of white people online, especially when far more often than not the good intent is just... Not there 😅. So for me, if someone asks you why you designed your character, be ready to answer, answer truthfully and answer well! If you're playing as a Black character design because "big tough guy" or "big dommy mommy" yeah you're just digital Blackfacing amongst other racist issues. But if you actually have good intent, and are willing to learn, then you'll be able to stand on that when confronted.
And again- that's just my opinion! I would listen to other voices on it as well.
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miumura · 2 years ago
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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — TEN THINGS I HATE ; JAY FIC
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“ I’ll do better, if you stay with me like this. ”
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ where jay keeps a journal where he documents all the reasons he hates you, his rival. despite claiming he will forever hate you, keeping this journal only makes him realize his feelings for you.
PAIRING rival!jay x gn!reader
GENRE angst, fluff — WARNINGS jealousy ; overthinking !
WORD COUNT 1.7K+ (1730)
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ soph strikes again!! angst cb, did we cheer?? anyways i was in the feels okay 😢 listening to music while writing really unlocks something in ur brain im telling you…idk what really went thru my mind when making this but enjoy 😊🫶
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#1 – HOW YOU’RE GOOD AT EVERYTHING.
Is it normal to have a journal dedicated to someone you hate? Whatever, I just need to get this off my chest. Whenever you’re involved, it’s like I could have nothing I want. It’s stupid, but I don’t care, it just pisses me off when you easily follow instructions, perfect things on your first try, and get all the awards I wish to have. I admit, jealousy consumes me. It's frustrating how effortlessly you seem to achieve anything you want without even trying. Seeing your achievements plastered all over the school only intensifies my anger, making me wish I could tear your posters into shreds. I've never despised second place more than now. Why can't I find contentment with my own scores or position, just like you? How can I remove you from my life and find peace within myself?
#2 – HOW CHEERFUL YOU ARE.
How is it possible for someone to remain so happy throughout the entire day? I can't help but wonder if you possess some magical influence over my friends, as they seem to shower you with compliments non-stop. It's weird to hear nothing but praise for you while I find myself complaining about various things. It's almost as if nobody comprehends why I harbor such animosity towards you, and this frustrates me immensely. Every time I express my emotions, they tell me to laugh and smile more, as if I don't already do it enough. But then, when I contemplate your cheerful and positive demeanor, it becomes clear why they encourage it. You're like the epitome of a model student everyone aspires to be, while I remain the perpetually angry and stubborn person. No wonder everyone wants to spend time with you, and perhaps that's one thing I can agree with others on.
#3 – YOU LIKE THINGS THAT I LIKE.
It's almost like a curse that we share the same interests. It's the reason I keep encountering you everywhere. Whatever I do, you seem to be there, expressing your fondness for the same things with your friends. It's frustrating, and I can't help but roll my eyes at the thought of encountering you even more. Even listening to music has become a challenge, as I know you like the same artists. I purposely skip their songs because they only remind me of you, and I hate being consumed by thoughts of you. I yearn to stop learning more about you so that I can enjoy the things I like in peace, without these constant reminders of you.
#4 – YOU MAKE ME OVERTHINK.
Maybe because of how perfect you seem to be in other’s eyes, I wonder how I look in other people’s eyes too. Am I that awful to hang out with? Am I always seen as this angry person who hates everyone? I’m not that, I know that–my friends do as well. But others? I’m not so sure about that. What confuses me even more is why you persist in wanting to spend time with me despite any perceived flaws or stubbornness on my part. You could easily choose to be with other people who might seem better to converse with. Yet, you continue to stick around, refusing to give up on our “friendship”. And because of this, I can see how others might form a negative opinion about me. My constant push to keep you away could be misunderstood, leading people to believe I'm simply a horrible person.
#5 – YOU LIKE ME.
I'm not sure if you have romantic feelings for me, but I can tell that you consider me a friend. It's interesting because I hadn't thought of you in that way before, but it doesn't seem to bother you. Today, you stood up for me, and it felt really heartening. Normally, I might have felt angry or vulnerable when someone defends me, but this time it was different. I don’t know, it just did feel really nice. Your quick response in telling those people to stop was captivating, even though I didn't express my gratitude at the moment. Lately, I've been struggling with the loud voices in my head, and sometimes I wonder if you could help quiet them too. But now, I'm not sure what I'm trying to convey. You confuse me a lot.
#6 – YOU GIVE THE WRONG PEOPLE SECOND CHANCES.
The other day, I saw you in tears because someone had broken your heart. I must admit, I was taken aback because I had never seen you sad or upset before. It was quite a contrast to the cheerful version of yourself that I'm familiar with. What happened to you that everyone sees all the time? I hope you had someone to tell you your problems too, as it’s not easy for someone who is your rival to be comforting you. I didn’t, so I hope you went home that night filled with less worries because you have someone to talk with.
What surprised me even more was that the very next day, you gave the person who hurt you a second chance. I can't help but wonder why you keep allowing people to hurt you when it's likely they'll repeat the same behavior, ultimately affecting your radiant smile. Stop going back to the people that hurt you once, it’s only going to be a cycle. I wish I could share these thoughts with you, but I hesitate because I doubt you'd take them to heart coming from someone like me. However, I can't help caring despite my own imperfections. It's puzzling to me as well, as you make me feel oddly connected to your feelings.
#7 – SEEING YOUR TEARS.
I never imagined how much I could despise seeing someone cry until the moment I witnessed your tears. Ever since that day, I always thought about it, so how could I let it slip out of my mind this time? I’m sorry for yelling at you today. I’m sorry for saying I hate you. I didn’t mean it, I was just extremely frustrated today, and not at you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know how saying this won’t do anything, but I truly mean it. I wish I could rewind time once I saw water fill up in your eyes, but what’s done is done. You made me realize something crucial—that I've always seen you as a rival, whereas you only wanted to be friends with me. I allowed my competitive nature to ruin our chances of a meaningful connection. I fear now that you might avoid me, and I understand if you do. I worry that I might continue to hurt you, just like the people you often encounter, who don't treat you with the kindness you deserve. You deserve better than that, and I'm sorry for contributing to your pain.
#8 – GIVING ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
I never imagined we'd get another chance after what happened. I tried avoiding you, genuinely attempting to keep my distance. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't resist reaching out to talk to you again. It's almost as if we both sensed the need to address the situation, leading us to have that important conversation. I still don’t know why you gave me another chance. Did I not say hurtful things to you? How easily are you able to put that behind? Your ability to forgive and move past it leaves me in awe.
It's making me reflect on my own flaws, especially how I tend to hold grudges and struggle to let go of negative feelings. I can't quite comprehend how you do it, but you make me think about you more than ever before. Every word I speak now feels like it needs to be carefully considered, thanks to your presence in my thoughts. Your gesture of offering another chance touched me deeply and brought a smile to my face. I can't help but wonder what you've done to influence me in this way. I think you really did something to me.
#9 – FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS.
We've connected much faster than I anticipated, even surprising my friends. I'm left wondering what you've done to me. You've become an all-encompassing thought – your smile, your laughter, your sense of humor – everything about you fills my mind. At times, I ponder whether I ever cross your thoughts too. Could this be love? My friends have mentioned it, and I can't find a way to refute them. I'm fond of you, immensely so. Isn't that a crazy twist?
It's a strange journey we're on. I started this journal to document the reasons I disliked you, but look at where it's led us. Is it too soon to be feeling this way? The idea of revealing my feelings is terrifying, yet I'm unsure if I'll ever have another opportunity. Please bear with me, allow me to find the right moment. Perhaps soon, hopefully, you'll be in my arms. I realize how absurd all this sounds – what am I even saying?
#10 – HOW EASY YOU WON ME OVER.
You won. You won my heart effortlessly, but I didn't win yours in return. I'm burdened with regret for how I've treated you. My ignorance and neglect weigh heavily on me now. It's painfully clear that he's all you've ever been able to think about. Why did I delude myself into thinking I could make a difference? If only I had treated you with the kindness you deserved from the start. Could that have made you love me instead? These thoughts haunt me.
I've grown aware of my own attachment, and I'm sorry for allowing it to consume me. I apologize for the disruption I've caused in your recent weeks. I can't bring myself to be genuinely happy for you and him, though he does seem like a better man than I could ever be. It's evident that I need to move on for your sake, to make things easier for you. Yet, there's a part of me that wishes I could still claim you as mine. That longing will always remain unchanged.
I doubt you'll ever stumble upon this journal entry, not that I would ever permit anyone to. But regardless, I want you to know that I do love you. It's a truth that's etched deeply within me, even though it pains me to admit it.
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💭 — fun fact this was supposed to have a happy ending until i pulled out spotify n listened to lyn lapid…yeah.
ENHA PERM TAGLIST (🎥) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz
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