#anything is better than being ignored
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pogbur · 1 year ago
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9 and/or 11 for overly personal asks? No pressure if it's too personal lol
yes finally!!! Also i know i have unhealthy coping mechanisms no i cant stop and no im not going to.
9 - do you cry? why or why not?
Yeah. Uncontrollably. Kidding- well most of the time. Ive learned to hold my breath until i stop but sometimes (like that one time in math class. ugh) once i start breathing again i cry again. I try not to cry infront of other people though because its awkward for them and shows weakness, and i need to be scary (they wont hurt me if theyre scared of me. this does not work i will not stop)
11 - tell me about your last failed friendship.
I dont have that many so im just going to list them. 1, Childhood friends, grew up together, moved away, i made a mistake and we havent talked since. 2, we werent friends yet, she died before we couldve been, we were in 3rd grade. 3, it was my fault. I was young and stupid but the mistakes i made were nessacary. I try not to think about this one- but i cant help it. It seeps through the cracks of my life. The people involved are still my some of my classes. Long story short, i hate pick-mes, people hate drama, i cause drama. I dont even know if they think about me at all. Probably not. The pick me? We were never friends. Fucking hate that girl. Its unfair. I took her friends away from her. She deserved it. She was a child. So was i. So are we. ANYWAYS--- thanks for letting me vent ig. you dont have to read all that if you dont want to. The tldr is bolded if you want to skip my ramblings
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fatedroses · 2 months ago
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Zenos viator Galvus and him trying to deal with actually feeling things for once (Even if he doesn't really understand how to handle the comfort he receives from others for it)
I am also giving this man a dad that actually cares, because this brainworm have gotten me and there is no saving me from them.
#ffxiv#sketch#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#durante#zero#local man learns how to feel again... and is regretting it immensely-#as his old habits of “ignore” or “shut down” dont work that well anymore#because#at least from what I've personally looked into#unironically zenos' method of reaper contract was the smartest way to go about- he wouldnt have had the context that they used to be people#but I also write Zenos with the thought that he would abhor becoming anything like Varis-#and I dont think he'd like being directly responsible for turning another person into a weapon or a tool like how he was- intentional or no#and I think its just a neat point of tension between adventurer zenos and zero#and it just ends feeding into what I write one of his main hurdles being#his resignation that he may never change- or that he isnt worth compassion because of the circumstances he grew up in#and him being so ready to take blame and resign the possibility of apologizing because (given context) i dont doubt#that Varis had constantly blamed him for Carosa's death#and it also just gives me a bit of reasoning why him being called a monster (specifically thinking of the scene with Krile) sets him off#I also just like the idea of Durante taking him in as a hesitant mentor and accidently bonding with him- even beyond the theories I have#(and this is totally me being biased because I ADORE durante as a character)#but I think helping Zenos and the way Zenos and Wol would later interact with each other would give him a measure of peace#of being able to guide someone and be there for someone like it seemed golbez was for him#I also think zenos deserves at least one warm fatherly hug#and who better than the strange old ass voidsent who could honestly probably rotate him any moment his guard is down
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juniperleafdelivery · 9 months ago
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evansbby · 3 months ago
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my opinion on the Blake lively situation
#okay so I never HATED Blake lively#but I did have a feeling about her#so I’d always like purposely not interact or view any interview or anything of hers that came up on my feed#I DON’T like Ryan Reynolds and never have#I just find him a try hard and annoying#and I did not like the couple of Blake and Ryan#they just seemed soooo pick me#so yeah I tried to just ignore the whole downfall of Blake lively that’s been happening#bc sometimes I just don’t care to comment or learn about celeb drama#BUTTTT ofc i got sucked into it#and not Blake tryna have a Margot Robbie in Barbie moment 😂😂#‘bring your girlfriends and wear florals!1!1’ GIRL MARGOT NEVER TOLD ANYONE TO WEAR PINK TO BARBIE IT WAS A NATURAL THING#not to mention I didn’t even realise this movie was about domestic violence as I’ve never read the book#and it was NOT being marketed as one thanks to Blake and Ryan#also why did Ryan have to get involve#ALSO this morning I saw the interview from 2016 where Blake is being rude to the interview#and oh my god it’s awful like SHE FIRSTLY FAT SHAMES HER OFF THE BAT NO HESITATION#then proceeds to ignore the poor interviewer#like doesn’t give her eye contact AT ALL#which I felt so bad for the interview bc I’ve BEEN THERE#this is why I’d hate to be a celeb interview bc imagine getting treated like a third rate individual by these big headed LOSERS who think#they’re better than you just bc they’re famous#I could NOT#anyways also Blake tried to have a whole feminist moment when the interviewer asked her about the clothes she wears in the movie#‘would anyone ask the men about the clothes’#UM BITCH YES??? COSTUMES??? IN FILM?? IS A THING ???#also can I just say Blake has always had the worst hair ever and the fact she has a hair care line is insane bc SHE IS KNOWN TO HAVE BAD HAI#and I never thought her fashion was good like even when people were simping over her met gala outfits I NEVER EVER SAW THE VISION#anyways yeah lol#the interviewer thing triggered me lowkey like HOW RUDEEEE
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thevioletcaptain · 1 year ago
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if you as a fic reader ever become possessed by the urge to do a popularity bracket with the fics other people wrote and shared for fun and for free, consider:
don't ❤️ 
#just!!!! make a rec list!!!!!!!!!#popularity contests do nothing but drive writers out of fandoms by pitting people against their friends#and invariably result in people being assholes in the comments as if the people who wrote the fic can't see it#like ''oh clearly fic x is better than fic y''#or ''why is fic c even in this poll?''#nobody gains anything by you doing a bracket to see which fic is the ''most popular''#a stat which could be found more easily & less cruelly by simply hitting the sort by bookmarks/kudos button on ao3#anyway ugh. i saw that one of my fics was being pitted against one of my friend's fics in this bracket that's going around#and i have no idea who is ''winning'' because i refuse to look. but either way it's gonna feel bad!!!#because i want my friend to get his flowers so i want him to win!!! but i also would like to know that people like my fic!!!!#so it's just a lose/lose situation even though i generally don't give a shit about numbers#but this turns it into a schoolyard popularity thing#and the emotional response to having people *vote* on if your work is *better or worse* than other fic is hard to ignore#cannot reiterate enough JUST MAKE A REC LIST#or if you absolutely must do a bracket like this do it in a private chat server or something#don't create a public forum for people to pass value judgements where the authors can see it#and feel bad if they get told their fic is ''worse'' than someone elses#but also feel bad if they get told theirs is ''better'' because it came at the cost of telling another author they weren't good enough#ANYWAY i still feel sick with a super sore throat and a headache & am probably extra cranky because of it#(still testing negative thankfully so it's probably just weather/allergen related)#gonna go make some tea and prep the fic updates i want to post today#cass says things#fandom problems#wank adjacent
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side-b-bumblebi · 1 year ago
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Men who view women as their intellectual equals 😍
#pro tip for the boys: a lot of girls will respond a lot better to a stimulating conversation than to a guy trying to show off#ignore the movies they're lying to you when they tell you you need to be a show off#and if a girl wants that it's maybe not the best sign y'know?#but most girls just want to be treated like we're capable intelligent humans#that's all!! the movies and shit make it way more complicated than it has to be#and yes some girls do make things awkward and complicate everything#but maybe you wanna be careful about that because those girls generally have a lot to unpack#being friends with those girls is fine!! just make sure you have strong boundaries in place#and make sure she's doing some work on herself before considering a romantic relationship#but anyway i've had a lot of men in my life that i feel like wanted to be so much smarter than me#and not to be rude but they weren't?? i was just as smart and sometimes smarter#i didn't care that they were confident in their intelligence but i felt like i needed to dumb myself down#and it. freaking. sucked. i have no idea how i did it for so long#and i would even make jokes about like the guys i dated being smarter than me and nobody ever said anything??#and again these guys weren't smarter than me. that's not an insult to them just acknowledging i'm smarter than i was gave myself credit for#i'm outgrowing the notion that i have to dumb myself down for men and it's so freeing#and you know what really helps me actually? being in college#and especially being in college with so many intelligent men who know they're smart#these guys KNOW they're smart. and not in an arrogant way in a secure and confident way#them knowing they're smart makes them the OPPOSITE of arrogant actually#it's weird but i stand by my observation and it makes sense when you think about it#if you're secure in yourself and your intelligence you don't need to proce yourself by making other people look dumb#these guys are secure in their self-image and masculinity. they don't need women to be dumb and weak to feel strong and intelligent.#and it's so freaking endearing. i love that for these guys so much.#i am just so thankful for people in my life who are taking me seriously and who are helping me to understand i'm worth taking seriously.#wow these tags are long but anyway#guys you don't have to prove anything girls you should never have to dumb yourselves down live long and prosper
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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Sometimes, when people try to invoke "trans-inclusive" bioessentialism in their arguments, I want to ask exactly what about our assigned sex says about our place in society, and ask how they've worked that into their worldview in a way that somehow simultaneously doesn't deny who we are and includes the fact that a trans experience will mean that we navigate the world in often very different ways than our cis peers, and often bucks the trends of what is commonly experienced by cis people
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paedenstigereye · 1 year ago
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Wait but also
Im still thinking about Hermie, and while I still consider what I said on my last post to be true
I kinda have the feeling that Anthony may be just playing with us. I mean being that Hermie is scams son…. But at the same time Anthony already did the scam bit… but then again you gotta remember the family motto Always Be Scamming
So who knows
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yuridovewing · 2 months ago
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like guys i promise im aware blossomfall is meant to be a glass child. i just think she’s a poorly written one lmao
#tbh thats why my feelings on her are so strong. its a delicate topic for kids but time and time again#its been handled extremely poorly and just used as an excuse to hate disabled people#i think my exhaustion with these stories is bc they were sorta shoved down my throat by the school board growing up#because they heard ‘’wow you got TWO autistic brothers??? your life must SUCK ASS AND BALLS have this book abt how autism ruins families’’#wow cool i feel so much better guys. both about the ableism my family faces in general and about my undiagnosed autism#if i had to think. and i havent read this in forever so i could be misremembering. i think a decent example of a glass child trope#is the sister from ‘’wonder’’ (the book. idk what the movie did)#because while she’s an important character who struggles with internalized ableism#the focus is still on auggie and HIS struggles with his own disability and the ableism he faces as a result#and the sister isnt demonized for her feelings but she does still have to grapple with them#and accept her situation and that no one is at fault or anything. its just a consequence of an ableist society more than anything#again. been forever and ever since i read that book and iirc it does still have iffy shit like the one chapter on genetics#like to this day that sticks out as an uncomfortable chapter and idk if i can say its fantastic rep bc of that#but idk. i remember liking it fine as a kid#i always appreciated books that tried to get into multiple perspectives on the issues#also this is just me and ik it goes against the definition of the term#but man. kinda wish we’d get a glass child character thats also disabled and their disability is undiagnosed or ignored#for the sake of only prioritizing their sibling and bc they have to be ‘’the perfect abled child’’#because thats my story lol#wasnt allowed to be disabled or imperfect or need help because being a third disabled kid wouldve been too much
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kaiserkisser · 3 months ago
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today is such a stark contrast to yesterday in how much i fucking hate today (vent/rant in tags bc i forgor to do it on my vent one)
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todayisafridaynight · 3 months ago
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NO YOU’RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE MAJIMA STUFF THOUGH. GOD. God forbid you speak poorly about the fandom silly guy etc etc. I rt’d one post about someone being annoyed abt majima getting an insane amount of merch (especially compared to other characters- even other PLAYABLE characters) and suddenly my TL is filled with ppl taking it as a personal attack….. like?? Settle down???
My one fear is that instead of Mine content we’re just gonna get Majima Saga 2 for yk3 and rgg will call it a day. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY ABOUT THE GUY !!! GENUINELY!!!
at this rate we’re going to have a complete record of Majima’s life from birth until modern day bc you knowww they’re never gonna let the cash cow die or retire. + god I lowkey need the 3jimas to break up Now so saejima and daigo can stand on their own again (w/out being overshadowed by Majima)…. Saejima especially… I miss the days when he felt like a character………
(I may have a lot to say on the topic) (he’s a fun character but at this rate I’m getting so sick of the fandom around him)
gen is kinda funny how when there's the Monthly Critique Of Majima post on twitter the rggtwt part of the tl is flooded with majima fans being upset. its like clockwork really LOL
as for saejima, i do miss him being solo... like he's funny with majima at times, but as wack as Y4 was i still really liked his coliseum scene, and his prison adventures in Y5 were a real treat too..
#snap chats#like you say one mild comment about majima in passing and then you have mates acting as if you burned their crops#like .. its never this serious .. also i think people have the right to be a littttttle miffed that other charas barely get anything#its starting to change with the plushies and saejima/akiyama figures so thats great but. still a way to go LOL#its just esp Lol inducing because kiryu and ichi are protagonists so it makes sense for them to get stuff#but majima is quite literally a side character that wasnt meant to have this much popularity#the concept of a chara becoming popular by accident isnt bad thats not the thing- its even cool when that happens#its just sometimes you just see people act really entitled to stuff for that character while every other chara is ignored#and then the same people acting surprised when others go 'actually ive had a bit enough of this guy'#honestly if they did another majima segment for a hypothetical yk3 id laugh. like id be a bit annoyed but id mostly laugh#cause truly what else is there. he's like a comic book character we just gotta keep making situations for him til hes 90#idk. just so funny majima's been given a sort of 'weird' protagonist status#and i say weird because he IS a protagonist but just compared to how he actually functions throughout y1-y6. lol. lmao even#like youre right in that majima's a fun character but he really is better in just small doses imo#or. at least i need people to relax on the idea of a 'majima gaiden' or making him any more prominent in the games than he is now#anyway i cant be bitter posting my dad is being funny as hell. he got us bracelets and he was like#'in our family you and i are the only ones who like these. makes us cool' and i was like 'yeah dad we're so cool'#and this old man is just 'we're so cool ☺️' LIKE PL E A S E THE EMOJI TOOK ME OUT. i love my dad. all bitterness is gone from my heart#anyways bye if rgg gives majima a saga in yk3 im gonna livestream playing that and only that#not even yk3 just the majima part 😭😭😭😭
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scholar-of-yemdresh · 2 months ago
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r/fantasy recommend books other than by the same 7 cis white guys challenge: level herculean.
It's genuinely disgusting to me how myopic their recommendations are. No wonder we keep getting posts asking for books with good female characters or POC or Queers because the image of fantasy you project is cishet dude mantasy slop where women are rape doll incubators(the more underaged the more "realistic") and poc/queers are more mythical than dragons.
I swear to God if I see one more neckbread bleating about The First Song Of Wheel Storm Name Winds Law by T.R.M McWhiteman I'll b*mb an orphanage.
Seriously if the only "zomg must read most epicest bestest fantasy everrrr!!!" Are ALL the SAME cis white men, your reading tastes are shit, your literature pallet is unrefined to the point of non-existence, you have no idea what you're talking about, you have no ability to give actually good book recommendations, you're just shovelling the same mantasy slop that the ur-neckbreads shoved at you, your recommendations are bad and you should feel bad.
Are you giving worthwhile recommendations that fit the brief or are you just throwing your uwu favourite books at a person, damn the fact that it doesn't fit or might even be the exact opposite of what the OP is looking for? Hmmm???
#i am legit tweaking rn#I'm not even opposed to cis white guy authors just not THE SAME BITCHES EVERYTIME#claptrap about “battles” and “magic systems” and “realistic”...for 10 billion Dollars name a woman or POC adult sff author#the ones who aren't damned to the outer darkness of mantasy slope will at least be able to mention Ursala Leguin or Octavia Bulter#then ask them to name one ALIVE and Currently writing crickets or maybe NK Jemisin lmao#also let me not get started on their racist/misogynistic double standards#hate on Poppy war because Rin is “despicable” but then squeal about their favourite malazan character who's a serial child rapist...k1ll me#oh don't forget the covert bigotry against anything related to not cishet white men#r/fantasy is infinitely better than all the other sff subs bc at least there you actually banned for being overtly a bigot#...but! everypost about POC or queer stuff or women/feminism gets downvoted to hell#plus the sealioning nerds about “why does representation matter i only care about good bokks” ofc all the good books are by cishet white men#one of the reasons i stick around r/fantasy is that i might be one of the few big sff book spaces that isn't focused on YA or romantasy#and sorting by new and ignoring every BrandoSando KKC etc post actually makes the sub tolerable great even#y'all might think I'm being too harsh but when in “no rape/pedophilia/incest” threads r/fantasy nggas be recommending shit like ASOIAF#I'm not going to be nice ESPECIALLY when they get mad when you point out how they don't fit and it's a dick move to ignore OPs request#books#fantasy#just to be safe#tw pedophila mention#tw rape#tw incest mention
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phagodyke · 21 days ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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reflection-s-of-stars · 2 years ago
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The inclusion of Hermes as a father figure rather than a narrator in Hadestown is the single best thing Anaïs Mitchell could possibly have done for the framing of her story in this essay I will-
#Soph’s posts#Hadestown#because!!! Because when Hermes is involved in the story it completely reshapes the way it’s being told!!!#He’s a character AND a narrator. The story is being told by somebody inside it#Because it’s not just a story even to those that know it’s a story. It’s both a life lived and a tale told.#The narrator is the thing that connects us to any story because without one we wouldn’t HAVE a story#And having a narrator who is also a character and is AWARE of that dual role integrates the audience brilliantly#As opposed to off-broadway when Hermes is inherently separate from the narrative or characters#He’s telling the story without being any kind of invested in it or doing anything to change it#Damon and Nabiyah’s Hadestown IS like a myth because it’s a story being presented by Hermes the showman#But Reeve and Eva’s Hadestown is closer to the audience because of Hermes’s closeness with Orpheus#And Orpheus is changed by Hermes’s new roles as well!!!#When he has a father figure to prompt him and help him he develops this otherworldly innocence#Which fits him much better than the separation between his magic and his personality#With Hermes pushing the story Orpheus goes from ignoring the world to not knowing it’s there#Like in come home with me where “don’t come on too strong” makes “come home with me” way sweeter#Damon’s Orpheus and his narrative would be way closer to Reeve’s if he had Andre’s Hermes#Damn I really did write an essay huh
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redysetdare · 3 months ago
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I don't like the idea of grayfiire solely because firestar deserves someone so much better than graystripe. Also i just hate graystripe with a burning passion.
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spacemancharisma · 6 months ago
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#I don't know how to do this#I don't know how to fucking do this#I had a fucking Hours long crying breakdown after my parents left today#bc i'll never be fucking good enough for them#but if I say anything then we're acknowledging it and maybe it's better to not acknowledge it#maybe we just go back to ignoring the distance#if I say anything then I’m the bad guy again#I don't want to have to do this I don't want to have to keep being the one who steps forward first#I just want to stop trying and let it be what it is and let it hurt in a dull distant way#i've started crying again just from thinking about it#and I don't cry. I haven't cried more than like a light sniffle in three years until today#(bc of antidepressants)#I don't know what to do#I don't want to make it worse I don't want to hurt her feelings I don't want to be the one that starts shit#and I knoowwww I’m gaslighting myself bc she trained me to do this and I Cannot ignore the. two hour bathtub sob#but god what if I *am* the problem what if I *am* instigating and actually we had a good day#what if I’m expecting too much from her and this is better so maybe this is as good as it gets#do I bear it? do I bear it because she can't?#I know it's not fair and I know i'm hurting but maybe that's better than her hurting#do I just carry it for both of us?#I’m not a kid anymore I don't have that excuse#maybe this is womanhood. carrying it so your mother doesn't have to#she's carrying it for my grandmother. maybe this is just it.#I don't know. I don't know what to do.#I’m so fucking tired and it hurts#whatever.#vent#sad kids with bad moms club
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