#anyone who still calls Snape snivellus is a bully just like the Marauders

[the-most-faithful]

“Harry was also abused but he didn't turn into Snape”

This argument is likely, once again, to blame Snape. With a speech that sounds a lot like: "Harry also had a bad childhood, but he didn't become like Snape, he could have chosen to be good too" Do we really want to compare them? Let's go in order, I partly understand where this phrase comes from. Harry and Snape are in similar situations as children, as is Tom Riddle. Recluses in the Muggle world, poor, halfblood, misunderstood, treated badly by parents and peers etc... The similarity is fitting up to a certain point and fascinating BUT from the age of 11 onwards it no longer holds.

When Harry arrives at school he is no longer poor, he discovers that he has a mountain of gold left by his parents, to put it in a refined way: he is filthy rich. Snape never will be. Once Harry arrives at school he makes friends with Ron and other Gryffindors, makes positive friendships, is welcomed by the Weasleys, and finds people ready to protect him. Snape, on the other hand, had only one true friend (we will return to this point in the next chapters), Lily. Everyone else in his house wasn't really friends with him and had a bad influence on him over the years. He never had the support of teachers or other responsible adults. No one ever defended him, in fact he was heavily bullied for years in the place where he should have welcomed him and no teacher, no one defended him. Indeed he was blamed.

The similarities between the two disappear once they arrive at Hogwarts, Harry is famous and popular, Snape is not. Harry is respected, Snape is not. Harry has real friends, Snape doesn't. Harry has people protecting him, Snape doesn't.

So out of the love I have for Morgana, let's avoid making comparisons that don't hold up. If and I mean IF Snape had found himself in the exact same situation as Harry perhaps he wouldn't have become who he became and vice versa. Harry found support, if he had been alone, bullied and marginalized he would have made decisions and a different path.

I'm putting all the Snaters' false accusations into a Wattpad collection, if you have any other points not yet covered let me know in the comments or privately COLPE e MERITI - G. Monti E. - Wattpad

[deatheaterv]

Could you do an imagine in which reader is some popular kid in Hogwarts, maybe she stands up to the marauders and later Snape snaps at her that he doesn’t need help and she calls him silly boy and happy ending with them as a couple?

SILLY BOY

hi sender! that’s soo cute and i love the it. i hope this meets your expectations!

pairing : severus snape x reader

genre : fluff

warning : -

summary : as in the request

you’ve always noticed snape. most people don’t pay much attention to him, especially the marauders, who make it their mission to torment him every chance they get. today, though, it’s particularly bad. they’re cornering him in the hallway, mocking his clothes, his hair, and making cruel comments that you can’t ignore. they’re relentless, and it’s almost like they’re having fun with it.

you watch from a distance, anger bubbling inside you. you’ve always hated how the marauders treated snape, and today, something in you snaps. you’ve had enough.

“oi!” you call out, marching over to the group, your voice firm. “leave him alone.”

james, looking amused at first, glances at you with a raised eyebrow. “what’s this? got a soft spot for snivellus now?”

“shut up, james,” you snap. “he’s not the one who deserves to be made fun of.”

“oh, really?” sirius says with a sly grin, his eyes narrowing. “and why’s that?”

“because he hasn’t done anything to deserve this. you’re bullying him for no reason,” you argue, standing your ground. “if anyone’s got something to prove here, it’s you four.”

snape’s eyes flicker to you for a moment, but he doesn’t say anything. he looks surprised, but there’s something in his expression you can’t quite place. you’ve never seen him look so… vulnerable.

remus steps forward, looking uncomfortable, as always when the marauders go too far. “maybe we should just go,” he says quietly, tugging on sirius’s sleeve.

after a few tense seconds, the marauders reluctantly back off, though their scowls are still directed at you.

as the group disperses, you turn to snape, who’s still standing there, looking a bit shaken. you want to say something, but you’re not sure how to approach him. before you can speak, snape turns to leave, his usual scowl back in place.

“wait,” you call, stepping forward. “are you okay?”

he freezes, then slowly turns back to face you, his expression unreadable. “i don’t need your help,” he says, his tone harsh but lacking the usual venom. “i can handle them.”

“silly boy,” you reply with a teasing smile. “you don’t have to handle everything on your own. no one does.”

his eyes narrow, but you can see the faintest hint of something softer behind his glare. “i don’t need anyone’s pity,” he mutters, looking away.

“it’s not pity,” you insist, taking a step closer. “it’s just.. being a decent person. something they clearly don’t understand.”

he’s silent for a long moment, his gaze flickering back to you. “you think you know everything, don’t you?” he finally says, his voice a little quieter than before.

you shrug, feeling bold. “i think i just know you better than they do.”

snape looks away, his jaw tightening. there’s something about the way you stand there, so confident and unwavering, that makes him pause. for the first time in a long time, he feels like someone’s actually seeing him, not just as the quiet, brooding boy with a chip on his shoulder, but as a person. someone worth caring about.

“don’t make me owe you anything,” he says, but there’s no malice in his words, just a quiet vulnerability.

you smile, “you don’t owe me anything, silly boy."

over the next few weeks, you find that your encounters with snape become more frequent. it’s subtle at first, just small exchanges during class or passing glances in the hallways. but slowly, the tension between you two starts to shift.

there are moments where he seems less like the bitter boy he used to be and more like someone who might actually want to be around you. his usual scowl softens when you catch his eye, and the sarcastic comments he makes toward you hold a hint of teasing rather than malice.

the sun was beginning to set, casting a soft golden glow over the grounds of hogwarts. the air was warm, the sound of laughter and chatter from students drifting from the castle. but you and snape had found a quiet spot away from everyone else, sprawled out on the grass near the edge of the forbidden forest. the tension of exams and school life felt far away, the only thing between you and snape being the peaceful silence that had settled over the two of you.

you lay on your back, staring up at the sky, the clouds moving slowly above. snape was lying beside you, his arms folded across his chest.

the silence stretched between you two, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. it was the kind of silence that felt natural, like there were no words left to be said. still, you couldn’t help but turn your head to look at him, a soft smile playing on your lips.

“you know, i never thought i’d be out here with you like this,” you said quietly, your voice almost lost in the breeze.

snape glanced at you, his dark eyes locking with yours. “and why’s that?” he asked, his tone still laced with that familiar sarcasm.

you chuckled. “because of everything… everything we’ve been through, and how we started.”

he was quiet for a moment, his gaze flickering to the sky as well. “it seems strange, doesn’t it?” he murmured. “the way things change.”

you nodded, your smile softening. “i guess some things just take time.”

snape exhaled slowly, then turned his head to look at you again. there was a vulnerability in his gaze that you hadn’t seen before. he shifted closer, his voice low but steady. “i’ve never been good with… people. with this,” he said, the words coming out almost like a confession.

you turned to face him, propping yourself up on your elbow. “you don’t have to be perfect, severus. you never did.”

he glanced down at the grass for a moment, the weight of his thoughts pressing on him. “i don’t know if i can ever be what you deserve,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

you reached out, gently touching his hand, your heart softening at the rawness in his voice. “you already are,” you said, meaning it with everything you had.

snape seemed to pause at your words, his eyes searching yours, as if trying to understand the depth of your sincerity. then, without warning, he spoke again, his voice quieter than ever.

“i love you, y/n,” he said, the words heavy and genuine, more than just a fleeting confession.

your heart skipped a beat. for a moment, time seemed to freeze around you, the world feeling as though it had narrowed down to just the two of you, lying on the grass beneath the vast, open sky. you smiled, your eyes softening as you leaned in slightly.

“i love you too, severus,” you whispered back, your voice just as quiet, but filled with warmth.

there was no need for anything more. no grand gestures or dramatic proclamations. the moment felt perfect in its simplicity. you both just lay there for a while, the world moving around you, but in that space between you two, everything felt still, calm, and right.

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Snape trauma rant

Warnings: mentions of abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, and r@pe

Soooo…I just got finished watching Madea’s neighbor from hell and the whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about Severus.

(For those who don’t know, the play is about a foster mother (Ruth) that moves in next door to Madea and Aunt Bam. She was very abusive to the kids and neglected them.)

Also this is my POV and opinion so if you’re a Marauders stan pls don’t get whiny about it…

It was so interesting to see how these three kids reacted to the situation they were in. Ruth, their foster mother, would beat them and fail to feed them. She was also very verbally abusive. She would say stuff like “you are nothing” and “do you think you’re prettier than me? Well you’re not” and so many other things. NATURALLY the children didn’t respond well to being abused (go figure). They were rude and disrespectful towards people (ofc when the foster mother wasn’t around), and the oldest child(Karen) felt like she had to resort to stealing in order to feed her siblings and keep them satisfied.

I am by no means justifying being rude and disrespectful, but what kills me about Snaters is they are quick to point out what Severus does wrong, but they fail to understand that there’s a reason…something obviously went wrong in his life and this snark and vindictiveness is him projecting. He’s taking it out on others because he couldn’t (or felt he couldn’t) take it out on the people who caused him the pain. I’ve been through something similar but definitely not as extreme. One parent did me wrong, and since they weren’t there for me to take that out on…I took it out on the parent that WAS there…does that make me a bad person? No. I needed HELP…that’s what that means…I didn’t hate the parent that was there at all, I was acting out because I wanted the absent parent’s attention.

Then Snaters always say “oh well he should have consulted an adult if it was that bad for him”…..it’s not that simple I’m afraid. In the movie, all three kids were constantly threatened with beatings and even death in the occasion that they told anyone about the situation. That’s something that happens in real life…isn’t that what people talk about with sexual assault survivors? R@pe survivors? Domestic violence survivors? How they are afraid to come forward out of humiliation? Or fear of not being believed? How a lot of them are threatened? Why is any different now??? In the movie, it was the brother that decided to take the chance to get help, and it was the oldest (karen) that didn’t think it was a good idea…she was scared. It was heartbreaking.

When Ruth was exposed for being abusive, she admitted that she had been in a similar situation as a child. She was also a foster child, she was r@ped multiple times, and she was abused. And that got me thinking about the Sirius argument that’s used a lot… “well Sirius was abused, he didn’t turn out like Snape” if Sirius was abused then why’d he engage in the RELENTLESS bullying of another person? “He grew up” then why was he still engaging in the childish name calling as an adult? “Snivellus”…making fun of ones appearance. “Well Severus made fun of Hermione’s appearance!” And that makes it ok for Sirius to do it? With that logic it was ok for Snape to do it because James and Co. did it…that’s not how that works, bestie. I think we can all agree that Sirius needed help…therapy…right? So why is it any different for Severus? If Mr. Black isn’t a bad person in your eyes then why is Severus?

Now of course Tyler Perry has his big life lesson speech moments in his plays so here’s what he had to say (it’s a lot):

There are mentions of god. I’m not religious, I’m just telling you what was said

Regarding speaking up

Madea: hunny tell her. Tell these people. (these people: CPS)

Karen: Why!? They don’t care about us!

Madea: That ain’t true, hunny. Tell them, and if you run up on somebody and that’s who you tell and they don’t care, tell somebody else. And then tell somebody else, and eventually you gonna run up on somebody that care, hunny. Keep telling people. Keep reaching out for people, for people to be there to help you. There’s somebody that god will send to help you.

Regarding the effects of abuse on children

Ruth: Why not talk to them like that, Patti? Huh? Somebody talk to me like that my entire life Patti, but guess what baby, I’m a winner. Look how I turned out! They talked to me like that everyday but look at me baby, I’m on top of it!

Madea: You know what’s the craziest thing you saying? You think you got it together…you crazy as hell. You think you up top of the mountain? Im getting ready to choke you all the way down to the bottom of it, cause you have lost yo damn mind.

Ruth: What you chokin me for? Huh? All I did was put them on punishment. Yea I put them on punishment, but that’s what’s wrong with children these days! They don’t know-

Madea: girl…shut up with that foolishness. Shut up with this foolishness right now. There is a difference…hear me good when I say this…between punishing a child, and doin what the hell you doin. That is abuse. You have to know where the line is, hunny. All that stuff, that’s abuse, do you understand? You don’t do that to no child! You don’t do that! Have you lost yo mind? Got them down in the basement. Stop it, it is awful. Learn the difference, hunny. But that’s alright, you gonna have time to learn the difference because getting ready to be on lockdown, you goin straight to jail.

Ruth: Say- what- what

Clay: The police are on their way

Ruth: Wait a minute. Y’all called the police on me?

Madea and Bam: HELL YEA

Clay: And not only that, I’m gonna talk to the DA about prosecuting you for the money that you received for the children

Ruth: Prosecuting me for some what!? Prosecuting me for some mon- baby I spent all that money on those children, and if they standing up in my house telling you that I’m putting my hands on them, they lying on me! I don’t understand why they just gonna stand over here and lie on me, talkin about I beat them! Are you kidding me?…Look I was just tryna help these children.

Madea: How the hell you helping them by talkin about them like they a dog and beatin them and doin all that?

Ruth: I put a roof over their heads when didn’t nobody want them lady.

Madea: You know what, you crazy as hell. You sound like somebody’s stupid parent..think just because they give they child a roof over their head that they can dog them out and talk to them any kinda way and do anything they want to them. That is crazy as hell, hunny. You got to be careful with these children. Let me try to make you understand this. You gotta watch the children that’s been neglected and outcast and givin up on and thrown away and left to die and left for nothin. Watch out for those kinda children, cause that’s usually where god will put the blessing, in those kinda children. Do you understand?

Ruth: you don’t know me ok. You don’t even know what I’ve been through!

Madea: Whatever the hell you been through does not give you the right to pass your pain on to nobody else hunny. Especially no child. Somebody got to stop it, hunny. Somebody got to say “this is enough”.

Ruth: Look, I was in foster care just like they were, ok.

Madea: you think that make it ok? That makes it worse, girl.

Ruth: You can’t judge me, lady.

Madea: oh I’m not about to judge you. Imma let the judge judge you….that makes it worse, you’ve been where they are AND you gonna treat them like that? That’s crazy as hell. Let me tell you something, I would rather you leave me out on the street in the cold, then to bring me up in yo house and treat me like I’m nothing.

Ruth: I didn’t mean to hurt them, ok.

Madea: stop that lying, I can see it all in ya attitude. You meant to do just what the hell you meant to do

Ruth: Look, I was beatin…I was r@ped so many times I can’t even remember, ok. Somebody talked about me, and said I wasn’t gonna be nothing my entire life.

Madea: And how did that make you feel when that happened? Did it make you feel good? Did it make you feel like you were worth something?

Ruth: No

Madea: When they talked to you like a dog, did that tear your self esteem down?

Ruth: yes ma’am, it did

Madea: yes it did, yes it did. What the hell you think you doin to these children? You think just because they children you can talk to them any old kinda way? Let me tell you something, when you are raising a child, you give them a bag to pack. Everything you do, you put something in that bag. It’s like you giving them a lunchbox then sending them off to school, but the bag you packin is for their LIFETIME. So everything you give them, they will carry for life. Do you hear me? What are you giving your child? What are you putting in the bag? You supposed to be putting in love and faith and peace and temperance, and all that stuff in it. But what you doin is giving them hell to carry, so when they get grown all they got is a bunch of bags that they can’t do nothing with and don’t nobody wanna be bothered with them and don’t nobody wanna be around them, because of what you’ve gave them. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. There is a (couldn’t understand word) that you are passing down from generation to generation. It’s got to stop somewhere, and who gonna stop it if you don’t stop it?

Now I completely realize that people are gonna “Severus=Ruth” but it goes both ways. Ruth can also represent Sirius to an extend as well. I don’t care how young he was. He was old enough to know that what he was going through at home was painful and that he didn’t like it, but he was also old enough to realize he was putting someone else through that, regardless if he knew of Snape’s domestic situation or not. Then he was still stuck in his ways towards Severus as in adult and never thought it would be mature to apologize. Same with Severus. He was vindictive and made a lot of poor decisions. But they both needed help…whether it was therapy or somebody telling them about their ass like Madea did. Ruth “didn’t mean to do it” but she did, because that’s all she knew…that was her bag that people in her life packed for her. Somebody needed to step in and tell both Severus and Sirius that their bags were packed wrong. That’s the problem, nobody corrected them. That’s the effect of a bystander.

And again I’m not saying Severus is perfect. I know I act like he is for the shits and giggles, but trust me, I love and recognize his flaws as much as I love and recognize his good, because his flaws are what made him…him. And you can’t say “I love you” without loving what makes them…them. I love you means I love all of you, and I absolutely love Severus Snape as a person. I couldn’t care less if you hate him because I still don’t like the Marauders, but I just hate that the 4 people who assisted in putting shit in Sev’s bag don’t get held accountable… how Severus is the one to blame for everything. He spent years protecting Harry without expecting nothing in return, he obviously cared to some extent. He just didn’t know how to show it. I wish he could’ve gotten help. He probably would have been a little happier.

And I hate the argument that us Snape stans use his redemption to excuse his behavior. That’s wrong..lord forbid I say the same thing about Marauder stans. His redemption showed us that just because you’re bag is filled with fuckery, doesn’t mean the good someone put in there won’t shine through ✨✨✨

[deepperplexity]

Prompt: 22. Trembling

A/N: So I'm not much for writing young Snape romantically - I much prefer the older one - but I got a little idea for a story and I wanted to try it out. I hope I managed to do the idea in my head some sort of justice and that you all enjoy it <3

Setting: Hogwarts, the day before leaving for the holidays

Pairing: Snape x Reader (both in their seventh year at Hogwarts)

ABBR.: │ (y/n) - Your Name │ (y/l/n) - Your Last Name │

Word count: 3248

Warnings: Harsh Language, Angst, Fluff, Bullying

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // SNAPEMAS POST

Prologue: You have been in love with Severus for nearly two years now, but he had seemed oblivious to you and each time you had tried to befriend him, or even talk to him, he had been nearly cruel in his words as he pushed you away in all manners possible. But you were resilient and would not quit bugging him in your efforts to catch his attention. But, even you had a limit to what you could take and you were balancing on it after such a long time of giving it your best effort to get him to allow you into his life; and hopefully heart.

He was soaked. You heard the laughter and the snickering as he stood absolutely still in pure shock while water drenched him, soaked his clothes and flattened his long black hair. Your heart skipped a beat as tears sprung to your eyes as you stood halfway up the stairs watching him below you. Those fucking Marauders! They're so damn cruel! As that thought ran through your head you heard the howling laughter of those exact people.

Your head whipped around, your eyes instantly locked on James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily. They stood on the staircase just above Severus; Sirius and James each held a bucket each that had obviously been filled with the water that had been dumped over Severus. You were fuming, your fists clenched at your sides as you watched them laugh. Except for Lily, she just sneered at Severus with a tired look. How can she just fucking stand there? How cold can a person be? At least the other idiots claim their actions and their ugly sides... But she, you were fuming as your eyes shoot figurative bolts of lightning at the girl who was one of the reasons Severus had not accepted your requests at being friends - or even on speaking terms. You knew that. You knew how he looked at her, and damn it hurt.  

"Oy, Snivellus, feeling a bit cleaner?" James laughed out with a high five from Sirius who howled with laughter. Remus chuckled, Peter looked happy and Lily seemed to care more about her nails than the scene that was unfurling in front of her. You clenched your jaw as your eyes switched view and landed on Severus who was still standing absolutely still as water pooled around his feet. Your heart clenched at the sight of him, your stomach twisted and you started to tremble with fuming, glowing, boiling rage. It coursed through your every fibre as your hand unclenched and reached for your wand.

It all happened so fast. Your actions fuelled by the dooming rage that pulsed through you as you directed the tip of your wand towards the idiots one floor up and in the next instant they were soaking wet as a fountain of water spewed from your wand. Fuelled by your raging emotions. Silence fell as the sound of water took over. It only took a single moment to drench them all - and a few bystanders. But they had laughed too so why the heck not?

"(y/l/n)! NO-!" Severus screamed and it pulled you out of the pounding emotions that that locked you in your stance as water finally stopped spewing from your wand. You were panting, your hand and wand trembled as you shook from your own shocking action. You had never done anything like that before. Seven years at Hogwarts and I, I lose control now-?! You thought as your hand lowered while the Marauders were still coughing and trying to get up of the floor as the water had truly flown out of your wand like a wave and crashed into them with force.

You turned your head towards Severus who gawked at you. Except for the sloshing of wet clothes and some coughing, the silence was as thick as morning fog. He looked at you, shocked and perhaps taken aback from your actions. For a moment you were just frozen in place as the realisation hit you. You had stooped to their level. You had retaliated - rather splendidly as well might you add.

But the look Severus gave you wasn't a happy one, it wasn't thankful or grateful. He looked horrified and it broke your heart. Tears sprung to your eyes and in an instant, your legs began moving. You hurled yourself down the stairs as students started to whisper and point. You passed Severus in a rush, unable to look at anyone as you tried to keep the tears from falling freely. As you tried to keep your heart in one piece in your chest.

You barrelled your way through corridor after corridor until you got to the courtyard at the back. You flung yourself through the doors as the faint echo of your name being called reached you. But you ran. Ran and cried. Stumbled and sobbed. Somehow, you ended up at the Whomping Willow at the edge of the Forbidden Forrest. You stopped outside of its reach as you heaved for air. Your lungs burned as your cheeks turned wet from tears.

You tried to force air into your lungs, tried to confine the emotions that raged through you like the crashing of waves on a stormy sea seeking to devour all ships. To sink all things and snatch them from the light, clutch them in the deep dark of eternal night. Just, breath, breath, maybe he-, maybe he doesn't hate- no, that look... A sharp pain shot through you, it echoed through your soul as the look on Severus's face flashed before your inner eye.

You sobbed and snivelled as you tried to wipe away the salty tears. Your legs were shaking and your hands still trembled. Your chest felt too tight, yet it could have caved in on itself at the same time from the hollow feeling. How was that even possible? Could you break so badly you turned hollow?

A twig snapped, your head whipped around as Severus called out your name with a hoars voice. as if he had been screaming for a long time. Your eyes widened as he appeared at the top of the hill a little ways away from you. "Leave me alone!" you screamed at him with a broken voice as you were still crying. He started to run towards you on those long slender legs. "(y/n), you-" "Leave me alone!" you screamed again as you started to step backwards. As you tried to increase the distance he so hastily shortened.

"(Y/N), DON'T-" he screamed and you saw that horrible expression of horror again in his eyes and it hit you with such force you stumbled from the recent memory in the Entrance Hall. You were just about to fall when your breath was knocked out of you as something hard hit your back so harshly you landed face forward in the cold snow with a thud. You lost your bearing as your head had taken quite a hit against the ground. The tiny layer of snow did nothing to dampen the blow.

"(Y/N)! RUN!" Severus screamed as you tried to lift yourself up of the ground. What the- but you had no more time to think as a large tree branch slammed itself down right next to you. Missing you by merely the width of a wand. You tried to force air into your lungs after the previous harsh blow as your head spun and your back protested against any movement you tried to force your body to do. Severus shouted at you to move, run, get away - but you couldn't get up.

"MOVE!" he screamed and you rolled away just in time before another branch slammed down where you had laid a mere second earlier. You managed to get up in a crawling position and threw yourself forward with all your strength. You were nearly, nearly out of reach for the damn tree as it slammed its branches down again. The tip of one struck your foot and the force of the blow made you scream out in pain as Severus grabbed your hands and pulled you away from the tree with such force you landed on top of him.

You both laid panting on the wet, cold ground as the tree straightened and stopped flinging its branches around. You tried to catch your breath as Severus held onto you. You barely realized it at first but once your mind became aware of him beneath you, his arms around your waist, his face so close to your own... Your breath hitched, you tensed and you flung yourself off him so fast you had to scramble to find your own limbs in the flailing mess you were.

You managed to get up, somehow, as he rose elegantly despite his long limbs. Your heart hammered as he looked at you. Your mouth went dry as the memory of his horror-filled eyes from earlier flashed by as he still had a slight look of horror etched in those onyx galaxies that were his eyes. You couldn't bear to look at him when he wore that expression you knew came from anger at you, or perhaps even hatred at what you had done. It made no sense that he would be angry with you for defending him but you still saw it, felt it. It couldn't be anything else when his eyes wore such an expression.

You turned around as you hugged yourself. Your back ached, your body shook and you felt fresh tears as they leaked from your eyes. You sobbed as some form of reality hit you that you had fucked up and now, he would never allow you to be close to him. Perhaps now he wouldn't just dismiss you but effectively shut you out... You shivered as the thoughts of his hatred and rejection ran through you.

"Are you cold?" Severus asked and his voice frightened you so you jumped slightly as it came from such close proximity. You twisted your head at the same time only to find him mere inches from you. You froze. Never had he been so close before as he had been that day. Before it was unintentional but now, he had stood himself right by you.

"(y/n), are you cold?" he asked again as you couldn't make a sound. All you could think of, all you could feel, was your pounding heart and his beautiful eyes paired with the long black hair that screamed for you to reach out and run your fingers through it. But you didn't, of course, you didn't do that. But you wanted to, oh by Merlin how you wanted to touch those silky strands. but you merely looked at him as your body vibrated from the shivers as you were without any proper attire to be outside in such cold temperatures.  

In the next moment, it was like you realised he spoke to you, realised he was so close, realised he had followed you - called for you and basically saved you from the deadly tree. You took a step back from him as uncertainty crawled through you. How angry was he with you? Did he hate you now? Was that what his eyes were screaming at you? You hadn't a clue and it freaked you out immensely. You felt your face turn pale - from the thoughts, the worry, but also the physical pain you were in as the tree had landed two harsh blows on you.

"Why did you do that?" he asked and his words surprised you, he sounded angry, or perhaps exasperated - you couldn't quite tell as his voice was so damn deep it thundered out of his mouth no matter what he said. "I-, I-" But you found no words. You had never confessed your feelings to him, you had only ever dared hope to perhaps befriend him. Why would he, excellent as he was, be interested in you? You weren't anything special or fancy, nor were you excellent as he was. You were, quite frankly, just you.

He raised a brow slightly at you and a blush crept in as you folded your eyes towards the ground. His was just too deep, too wide, to hexing to look into any longer. You feared you would drown if you kept staring into them as they swirled with black stardust. "You shouldn't have done that," he murmured on a small sigh and you lowered your head as your shoulders shot up towards your ears. "I'm sorry, I, I just wanted to- I couldn't just stand by and watch. They're, they're horrendous..." Your voice was low yet you managed to squeeze out the words through the lump that had formed in your throat.

"They are, you shouldn't have butted in (y/n), you should have just let it-"  You whipped up your head with a glare towards him. Suddenly quite angry with him instead. "You shouldn't be treated like that! You shouldn't have to deal with shit like that!" you shouted as he stared at you, "It's not fair! They treat you worse than garbage! I can't- I can't stand it! I can't just look, I can't just stand by and let them torment the one I love-" Your hand covered your mouth instantly without even finishing your sentence.

You stared at him with wide eyes as he did the same at you. Your words felt heavy in the air as your body stiffened, prepared to run for the hills if need be. "You- you what?" Severus stuttered out and your face turned scarlet as he gawked at you. His eyes impossibly large and the usual pale skin a tad flushed. You couldn't help how your heart pounded, how your body trembled and shook - how your entire being screamed at you to run as if your life depended on it. But you were utterly frozen. Your boots stuck to the ground. Your shoulders stiff while your legs felt like jelly.

Well, that's one way to fucking do it, you thought as reality started to entwine with that fantasy world of yours. Just, perhaps not in the way you had wanted it to as Severus yet again looked horrified, or maybe disgusted, you couldn't quite be sure. It was difficult to tell what went on inside of him but it appeared to be negative, whatever it was.

You let your hand fall away from your mouth, it limply landed beside your body as if something just left you, some will or power perhaps. Something, hope or perhaps a dream. "I love you," you whispered as tears once again welled in your eyes, "I love you and I'm sorry to disgust you like that." You exhaled as the tears started to fall. It was over. Your fantasy world where you were by his side, loved by him, came crashing down as if it were an avalanche set on tumbling down a mountainside. You crumbled along with it. As good as buried beneath its weight, as good as dead as your hollow chest felt as if it had truly caved in on itself.

You turned from him, your body felt as if it were not your own. You felt naked in reality; stripped of that one piece of a dream you had held on to for dear life for such a long time. You started to walk away from him only to be held back by slim fingers wrapped around your wrist. You looked over your shoulder, your eyes landed right at his swirling galaxies of onyx and black stardust that looked intently yet harshly on you.

"I told you to stay away," he growled, you nodded, "I told you to ignore me," he continued and you nodded once more. He sighed, deeply. "I told you, over and over, not to butt in." You nodded once more as you wiped away tears from your cheeks with your free hand. The wind swiped over you and tossed about his black hair as you shivered from its frozen fangs that nibbled at you through the thin clothes you wore.

He tugged on your arm, you stumbled a step towards him. When you looked up he glared down at you. "I told you," he hissed, "to stay, away." In the next instant, his lips smashed against yours. Harshly. It took you a moment to realise what happened and then his lips were gone as you gawked at him. "I told you, to stay, away. I told you so many damn times (y/n). So, many, times," he hissed as his arms snaked around you. You looked at him, confused. Yet your body, it seemed to know what to do. As if it were second nature to be close to him. As if the stars had aligned and the world was righted when he was in your embrace and you in his.

His lips pressed against yours again and this time your fingers snared themselves in his hair as you kissed him back. It felt as if life were breathed into you. As if some of the endless universe that swirled inside of him filled the hollow in your chest and leaked out to fill your entire being. "I told you," he grumbled against your lips, "because I knew you couldn't stay out of it if you knew..." He left your lips at the last word as you were both panting. You just stared at him, all your thoughts were trying to make sense of what was happening. Have I been killed by that damn tree and gone to heaven?

His cold fingers stroked away some hairs from your forehead before his lips landed softly where his fingers had just touched you gently. "I knew you couldn't stay out of it, so I needed you to stay away from me. Then, you'd be safe," he whispered as his voice vibrated over you. A darkness curled around the sound, claws stroked your soul as gently as any feather could have.

"What, do you mean?" you breathed out as it was hard to get air down in your lungs when you were so close to him.  He looked down at you. The onyx eyes, the hooked nose, the thin lips and the defined jaw. The black curtains of hair that framed his thin face - it was all pure perfection for you. "I mean, you would be in the line of fire if you were with me. And that," he said with a kiss between your eyebrows, "is unacceptable. As, I love you."  

Your heart nearly stopped. Your knees nearly gave out beneath you. Your lungs barely remembered how to function. But your lips, they functioned properly as they were slammed on top of his as you pressed yourself into the caring young man who enveloped you in the warmest of embraces. Your fingers snaked between the strands of his hair as his hands held your hips gently yet firmly. I must have died and gone to heaven, you thought as the taste and smell of him overtook you. As you both trembled from cold and heat, from fear and passion - from joy.  

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[Dec:2020]

[thebadgerclan]

Retaliation

Pairing: Severus Snape x reader (Marauders Era)

Requested by Bee Anon

Summary: After becoming close with Severus, he won’t stand the Marauders’ bullying anymore...

A/N: I didn’t specify where the reader is from, but it’s mentioned that you have an accent (that an English person would notice), so do with that what you will

Y/H is your house

When your mother told you that you’d be moving to England and attending Hogwarts, you were over the moon.  Hogwarts was the best Wizard school in the entire world, and ever since you learned you were a witch, you’d longed to attend.  You entered as a 6th year, but needed to be sorted with the first years.  Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on your head first, and it soon called out….

“Y/H!”  you stood with a smile and joined your housemates at their table.  The Sorting continued and soon, the feast was on the table.  You ate as your housemates filled you in on everyday life at Hogwarts, and soon, it was time for bed.  You followed your house to your dorm and settled into bed, drifting off to sleep.  If your time at Hogwarts would be like your first night here, it was going to be amazing.

***

Only a few days later, this proved to be false.  A group of Gryffindors apparently known as The Marauders had set their sights on you.  Jeers and taunts were hurled your way nearly everyday, most times driving you to tears.  You had a few friends in your house, but they were also friends with The Marauders, so you kept quiet for the most part.  It was your third week at Hogwarts when you fled into the courtyard after Potter had once more mocked you for your accent.

As you ran, a certain dark-haired boy looked up from his book.  You were new, he knew that, but aside from that, you were a stranger.  He heard Potter’s laughter from inside the castle, and he knew what was the cause of your tears.  He stood, marking his place in his book and walking over to you.  You looked up when you heard footsteps and wiped your tears.  “Are you alright?” the boy asked, sitting next to you.  

“I guess,” you replied, sniffling.  “The four Gryffindors?”  “Yeah.”  “They bully me too.  I’m Severus, by the way.  Severus Snape.”  “Y/N L/N.”  Severus shook your hand, lingering for a moment longer than was proper.  “Your accent is beautiful,” he commented, and you blushed slightly.  “Thank you, I just transferred.  My mum got a job at the Ministry.”  Severus nodded before speaking again.  “Say, Y/N.  Would you like to join me in the library later?  I have a potions exam coming up and could really use some help studying.”

Severus was practically a potions master already, but he wanted to spend more time with you.  You nodded.  “Sure.  I’ll meet you after last class?”  “Perfect.”  You stood and gathered your things, exiting the courtyard.  Severus smiled, he could tell you were a very kind person, and had the potential to become a very good friend.

As promised, you met Severus in the library after your last class, your books and parchment already spread out before you.  You smiled as he entered, waving him over.  “Hey! So, I found a lot of books about common potion antidotes, which I think is what you class is studying…”  As you spoke, Severus couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty.  He despised lying, and doing so to you repulsed him.  

“Severus?  Are you alright?”  “I’m sorry Y/N.”  “Sorry?  For what?”  “I don’t need help studying.  I just want to spend some time with you.”  Rather than getting upset, you smiled, taking his hand.  “Oh, Severus.  If you want to spend some time with me, you just have to ask.”  “Really?”  “Yeah.  Do you want to have lunch with me tomorrow?”  Severus nodded furiously.  “I’d love that.”

***

That lunch turned out to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship between you and Severus.  As weeks passed, he fell hard for you, asking you to be his girlfriend only a month after that day you fled to the courtyard.  Of course, you said yes, your feelings having grown in the same direction.  Now, you sat in the very spot to which you fled, Severus’ arm around you as you studied, an occasional kiss being pressed to your cheek.  

“Oi!” you heard Potter call, and you sighed, shutting your book.  “Snivellus!  You got yourself a girlfriend?”  Severus’ arm tightened around you and he frowned.  “I’d think you’d go for someone a bit more….how do I say this?  Ahh!  Greasy as you!”  Severus stood, his wand drawn.  “Ooh hoo!  Look everyone, Snivvy’s going to defend his slut!”  That was the breaking point.  Severus screamed, “Levicorpus!” and James was hoisted into the air.

He flailed around, screaming, before Severus let him down.  He walked over to where he laid on the ground, snarling.  “If you ever speak ill of Y/N ever again, it’ll be worse.”  Severus returned to your side, pulling you to him.  “Sev,” you said softly, and he pulled your lips to his.  When he pulled away, he was breathless.  “I love you, Y/N, I won’t let anyone hurt you.”  As your eyes widened, he realized that wasn’t just your first kiss, but your first “I love you” as well.

“Sev,” you said, nearly inaudibly.  “I love you too!”  You crashed your lips into his, cupping his cheeks to pull him to your height.  Unfortunately, you were interrupted by Professor McGonagall, who had seen the whole altercation from her office window.  Severus pulled away and took your hand, squeezing it gently.  “Professor, I-”  “Silence.  Potter, 50 points from Gryffindor.”  James had gone pale.

“Wh-what?  But professor!  He attacked me!”  “After you verbally harassed him and Miss L/N unprovoked!  You should be ashamed of yourself!  Severus has never done anything to you!  You will serve detention with Professor Slughorn all next week.  Go back to your dormitory at once.”  James scampered away, and Professor McGonagall turned to you and Severus.  “While I understand the reasoning behind your actions, they are still unacceptable.

“5 points from Slytherin, and you will have detention tonight with me.”  “Professor?”  “Yes?”  “Why only 5 points and one night of detention?”  McGonagall sighed.  “Potter and his lackeys need to be taken down a notch.  If you must be the one to do it, so be it.  But I cannot let something like this go unpunished.  They treat you unfairly, Severus, we all see it, some more than others.”  

There were tears shimmering in Severus’ eyes and he wiped them away.  “Thank you, professor.”  “You are welcome.  Oh, and Miss L/N, take 10 points for Y/H.”  “Why?”  “You’re good for Severus, I can tell.”  She briskly walked away, and Severus turned to face you.  “I love you,” you reminded.  “So much.”  Severus kissed you again, smiling against your lips.  “I love you too.”

[halothenthehorns]

Lily’s POV on being called a Mudblood by Snape

An Excerpt from my Marauders prequal, We Were-  Chapter 5: Free

Lily rubbed at her temple in frustration as she strained her mind to come up with the counter jinx for wiggling ears. Surely she'd get points knocked off for using Finite more than five times, and there was an exact one, she just couldn't remember-

"Quills down," a voice called from the front of the room. She sighed and watched her DADA exam fly off. Over a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laughed. Mary and Ersa came forward to help him to his feet, holding Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows and lifted him back upright.

"Thank you . . . thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

Lily stayed in her seat and kept pouring over her scratch paper for the answer still so she could swat herself in the face with it. They still had practical's after lunch, and she just knew this exact thing was bound to come up!

"Erm, Lily?"

She looked around in surprise to see Mary hovering by her desk. Bless and Ersa were standing at the doors impatiently.

"Oh, yes, err, coming," she laughed nervously as she grabbed her bag and realized she'd been the last one in here, she still wasn't used to anyone waiting around for her for once.

Mary had been going out of her way lately to include Lily, and she wasn't going to ask why anytime soon in fear it would end. Ersa and Bless were a tad less enthusiastic, but neither had spoken a word against her as far as Lily knew. She could only guess Mary had told them about what happened, and the fact Lily had been avoiding Severus this past month seemed to have put them in a slightly more easy going mood towards her of late.

"So, how do you think you did?" Mary asked eagerly. "I got all the wrist movements I'm sure, Professor Liz has been great about that, but I'm positive I swapped an incantation or two."

"Yeah, we got really lucky with her our OWL year," Lily agreed. "I can't believe she won the thousand galleon draw and left to travel, I'm so jealous!"

Bless and Ersa actually giggled in agreement, it was a wonderful feeling as they began circling towards the lake. They began taking off their shoes and letting their feet cool in the water as Lily properly answered, "alright, I guess, not as bad as I feared anyways. That question over werewolves was silly, I think, I absolutely missed that. Who's going to look at whether the tails tufted or not when you've got any kind of beast coming towards you?"

The girls laughed in agreement again, and Lily was starting to feel a bit euphoric at how normal all of this felt.

"All right, Snivellus?" Potter's voice once again shattered the peaceful air.

She looked around with everybody else and was not surprised at what she saw.

Potter had, as always, been hovering somewhere near her. Severus wasn't too far off, engrossed in his paper, or he'd just been looking for another fight and trying to follow Potter once more. She grit her teeth, but couldn't seem to force herself to turn away.

It must have been the first reason though, because he didn't react in time. "Expelliarmus!" His wand went shooting a dozen feet away. She grasped her own but forced herself still. Mulciber and Avery were his friends, they'd come along and see this and help him out.

"Impedimenta!" Potter shouted next, and she went as stiff as Severus did when he fell.

'It's not your problem,' she kept chanting at herself. Sev never left them alone, and he never would if she kept stepping in. Somebody had to stop the pattern eventually. He was disarmed now, surely they'd waltz off laughing like braying donkeys.

Instead they began going closer, Potter even looking right at her with a clear challenge in his eye for what she'd do next.

'Don't, don't do it,' but she wasn't sure who she was even hoping for anymore, Sev, herself, or Potter.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" Potter demanded.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Black viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laughed, Bless and Ersa sounded particularly grating right next to her.

Sev was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You - wait," he panted, staring up at Potter with an expression of purest loathing, "you - wait!"

"Wait for what?" said Black coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

Lily got slowly to her feet, heart thudding madly away. 'You're just giving them both what they want,' she tried one last time to stop herself.

"Wash out your mouth," said Potter coldly. "Scourgify!"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him -

"Leave him ALONE!"

Ersa and Bless cringed away from her, Potter had the audacity to look at her again and ruffle up his hair with a smile he'd finally gotten his reward, and Severus didn't even look at her.

"All right, Evans?" said Potter, he sounded like a complete ponce when he made his voice do that.

"Leave him alone," she repeated. She'd never hated anyone so much in her life, she couldn't ever have just one thing without him ruining it. Not her best friend who now hated her because of him, not even any new friends, surely Mary wouldn't even want anything to do with her after this. She couldn't change her ways, she'd never just stand by and let them be so awful to anyone. "What's he done to you?" Maybe one of them would answer, Severus never had.

"Well," said Potter, pretending to have a brain for a moment as he clearly strained himself to think, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean . . ."

Even more people laughed this time, like this was funny, their weekly show they'd been lacking this month now back at the best time ever. She wanted to hex every last one of them, starting with this one. "You think you're funny," she said coldly, "but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said Potter quickly. "Go on . . . go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Sev was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

She was not responding to give him a chance to recover, she told herself. "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid." Sev was getting ever closer to his wand. Maybe, this one time that she told them both at once she wasn't playing their games, Sev would walk off with her instead of fighting back.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Black briskly, and turned back to Snape. "OI!"

He'd directed his wand straight at Potter; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of Potter's face, spattering his robes with blood.

Potter whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered now. Lily swallowed a laugh for the first time herself, the comeuppance for him never listening to her being thrown in his face like that. Instead, she snapped, "Let him down!"

"Certainly," said Potter and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Black said, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Snape keeled over again, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now, beyond tired of all of this. They eyed it warily, so there were some brain cells left.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said Potter earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

He sighed deeply, then turned and muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go," he said casually as Severus struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus - "

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Something fell into place, it felt oddly light as it settled around her, this clarity of how he'd always seen her, who he'd really been pretending around all these years. She blinked the fog away for the last time. "Fine, I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

It didn't feel as good as she'd hoped stooping to their childish levels of using that insult, she didn't feel much of anything right now except that crystal clarity.

"Apologize to Evans!" Potter roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on him, this was normal, this should make her feel back to normal. "You're as bad as he is."

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." A feeling finally began kindling in her chest like she'd hoped, and it was for him, for Severus Snape, for every goddamn student in this whole castle. She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

She didn't look back.

Instead she moved faster as her façade began to crack, the first one came as she found the familiar steps, and she finally collapsed in her potions classroom without a clue how she'd gotten onto her stool as tears began.

There was no brewing potions, the place was empty for exams and felt cold for the first time without the simmering heat and haze of colors. Her own cauldron was already packed away in her trunk. His was in an unused classroom a few doors over, their love potion to beat all love potions still brewing. Instead she sat at their usual desk, shoulders shaking and coughing so hard it hurt because she couldn't stop the horrible sobs from coming no matter how much she wanted to.

Her hair fanned a curtain around her, it was the only color in her blurry eyes until a pretty flash of rainbow danced about when she swiped at her nose. She moved on instinct, but the clasp wouldn't come loose, and she began seething in frustration she couldn't get it off, he'd probably locked it in place back then and she'd been a fool for too long. She started slamming her wrist down on the desk now, she'd break it into a million pieces before she left that thing in place. She fell off the stool and still didn't stop.

A lifetime later and no seconds at all, she was alone with an overturned desk with no idea why the leg was halfway across the room. Her hand was a swollen, ugly mess from the wrist joint, every one of her fingers looked more like sausages and her arm was tingling unpleasantly, but the blueish tint it was starting to resemble was the only bit of color she cared about.

Trying to move her right arm as little as possible, she got slowly to her feet, using the smooth wood for support and hoping she didn't get a splinter now of all times, her mind only on the hospital wing instead of the rainbow links in all corners. Just one thing at a time.

She made it to the hallway and barely registered Professor Slughorn passing her, but he noticed, his great stomach nearly flattened her as he did a double take.

"Miss Evans! We've been looking all over the school for you, you've missed your Defense practical's!"

"Oh," was all she could think to say to that.

His eyes cast over her, and quantified laughably so when he saw her wrist. He escorted her up to the hospital wing demanding who had done this to her, he'd see them expelled, but she didn't bother to answer. She only listened with the most passive of interests later when McGonagall came by to see her and explain she could retake the DADA exam this summer for free, but she'd have to pay out of pocket for the rest if she missed,  as she wasn't excused from them since Madam Pomfrey had already fixed the damage to her arm.

The Matron was kind enough to adhere to her request to put curtains up after a seventh year came in hyperventilating about their final exam, ironically the one time she actually wanted to be alone and the place she'd found a modicum of solitude had people all around, and as always, the worst one of all as night fell.

"Mr. Potter? What on Earth-"

"Won't stop bleeding mam," his voice sounded as cheerfully casual as ever like he was still hailing her in the halls.

A slight creak of bed springs and several uttered charms seemed to prove his point quickly. There was something in her voice Lily suddenly suspected students had been hearing a lot this year, as the usually quiet nurse who always respected the students boundaries of how exactly they'd gotten into their latest magical accident asked in a no nonsense voice, "Mr. Potter, how did this happen?"

"You've never asked that before," his voice was edgy, unsure now, Lily had never heard him actually unconfident before.

"This is Dark Magic Mr. Potter, to not be closing properly! Please tell me, it will help find a solution faster." Silence was her answer, and she gave a resound sigh when it hovered in the air and told in strictest tones, "you stay right there mister, keep pressure now."

Black's voice made her startle, she hadn't realized he was capable of being quiet, let alone here the whole time. "Why didn't you rat out that freak! The only reason I didn't is the last time I opened my mouth you didn't speak to me for three weeks!"

"Like it'll do any good," Potter sounded exhausted, she got the feeling this was not the first time they'd had this argument. "I'm far more concerned where Evans has run off to, can't believe you dragged me down here-"

"You're like snow in July mate! Here, swap out, you're dripping again."

It was so inconceivable, the care in his tone, the human conversation she was living apart from.

"Listen Prongs, all her dorm mates swear on their wand she's not up there, and she wasn't in the dungeons, Peter said some fight went on down there and she's good at avoiding those, right? Shall I go get the map, if you're so worried?"

A smaller pause, she was just lying on her side, staring at the gaudy curtains, hardly daring to breathe.  She didn't know what map would be useful, but she was far too hollow to care. Finally, her blasted answer how he always seemed to know where she was so close at hand, and all she wanted was to make the noise stop.

"No, I guess not, won't do any good now. Pomfrey will have me in here the rest of the night thanks to you!"

"Moony and Wormtail will come down here and tell us when she comes up to the common room," his voice was so soothing and gentle. "Just relax back, yeah?" How close had he come to passing out before allowing this? "Far more importantly, what's Snivilius' punishment this time? I am not joking anymore about tying him up and leaving him in the Forest after this stunt." She reached up to touch her ear, just to make sure it hadn't fallen off in shock as he switched gears like that. There was that familiar cruel tone she knew so well.

"We'll have to plan it, make sure Hagrid can't walk in and stop us, might have to wait tell we get back." His voice was in tandem, and her empty stomach clenched.

She was saved from hearing the rest of that by the nurses return. "Here now, let me see how deep it is- oh yes, you're going to have a scar there dear. Start dabbing this on now, and drink up, I'll be back in just one moment."

The curtains did not part enough for her to get a peek out, let alone them in. She already knew the question on Madam Pomfrey's lips, and begged of her in the softest, most pleading voice, "may I have a dreamless potion? Please?" She was spent beyond her years, begging not to have to face the noise again so soon.

Her face was kind and understanding as she nodded and gave her a gentle pat, Lily wondered just how often people asked to stay here.

She'd lost track of the two, but now their voices trickled back through the curtains.

"James, mate, don't fall asleep yet. Come on, drink some more."  

"Tastes like I'm sucking on a knut," his voice slurred with exhaustion.

"I'll tell Evans you said that!" His voice had a joking tone she wasn't used to hearing, there was no menace or threat in it. "She might actually talk to you if she finds out you don't swing her way!" Another pause, the slightest sounds of the gulping stopped. "Sorry." She could not even begin to imagine the look on Potter's face for his best friend to sound so genuine.

"I just can't believe she really thinks I'm the same as him! I'd never call anyone that, let alone her! Hurts worse than this bloody cut she really- I, I don't know how to bloody-"

"We've been telling you for years she's up her own ass too much mate," he still sounded more apologetic than anything. "Maybe though, maybe this'll finally get her to ease up some, even she can't come back from defending that?"

The final bell for curfew rang just as the door opened again, and the matron did not sound pleased.

"Mr. Black, I will issue a detention if you linger any farther. Go on now, shoo, off to bed with you while I treat my patients."

There was no rebuttal or argument, just the soft thud of the door closing. It was not even the second most unbelievable thing she'd heard today.

"I'm going to patch this on Mr. Potter, yes I know it stinks but please, no don't scratch! We'll try another salve here in a moment, drink some more, you're so pale love. I'll be back in one shake."

The curtains fluttered again as she was handed the vial. She popped the quark without a second thought, a tangible need to tip it all the way back and escape. The blackness inside her began swirling up, behind her eyes, she was finally just allowed some peace as she sank back to the pillows in the quiet.

She woke up on the first day of the rest of her life still alone. With a painful feeling lodged deep in her heart, but finally a sense of feeling at all she would not ignore, she shoved the pattern aside to see Madam Pomfrey was tidying up. The bed beside her was still rumpled, she was tisking and putting away three chairs that seemed to have moved themselves overnight.

She didn't bother to attend her Potions exam that day, but heard the cheers of delight even from a floor above as fifth years exalted. It went in one ear and out the other as she kept replaying it all in her head. Mudblood, dark spells, had there ever been anyone more pathetic than her? And Potter, James Potter, what a mystery that lunatic was...

Madam Pomfrey finally insisted she leave as dinner came and went, reminding she had to be packed for the carriages first thing in the morning. She didn't bother to correct she already was, she knew she couldn't hide in here forever, she'd have to get back on that train eventually.

Lily had hoped Mary had enough kindness in her not to bother her as she lay curled up in her bed in her night things to feign sleep having missed the Feast, but that was dashed as a tentative touch came to her shoulder.

A part of her wanted to hex the girl away, but she couldn't stand another fight, she'd probably evaporate into nothing. Instead she sat up and didn't care why Mary flinched and wouldn't look her in the eye as she whispered, "he's ah, down at the portrait hole. Said he'll sleep there again if you don't talk to him. He didn't believe me yesterday when I said you weren't-"

"Thanks Mary," Lily told her mechanically, she didn't even grab a robe as she slipped out of the door.

He really was there. She couldn't believe the nerve of him.

"I'm sorry," he said the moment she stepped out, but her hand didn't even leave the Fat Lady's portrait to swing shut on her. Every apology in their past might never have existed in this moment.

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!" He actually tried again.

"Save your breath, I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just -"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in her voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. Nobody can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends, you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No, listen, I didn't mean - "

" - to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole. She never spoke to him again.

[lilytakeharryandgo]

STOP ROMANTICISING SEVERUS SNAPE - A MANIFESTO

“Albus Severus Potter, you were named after two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a great strategist, the other one was a racist, hateful, bitter, scary bastard. Voldemort must have damaged some brain cells when killing the Horcrux inside of me.”

Now that I have Snape fans raging and screaming for blood, here’s my show of evidence:

If the boring, same argument brought up by Marauders stans is Snape being a Death Eater, I know it’s basic, but it’s basic for a reason: it’s true. Supporting Voldemort doesn’t mean you support his ideas? I’m sorry, what did he support? The Dark Lord’s contouring skills? It is a truth universally acknowledged that joining a group of racists and following them in perpetrating crimes does make you a racist and a criminal.

JK Rowling herself said that Death Eaters are an analogy to Nazis, Marauders stans are not making this up. Are you questioning what JK ROWLING said? Because you know, she is JK ROWLING.

We know it was Snivellus that created the Levicorpus. He must have used it against the Marauders in order for them to learn it. And let’s just remember that “Snape’s worst memory” takes place after the Shrieking Shack’s incident, when dear, lovely Severus tried to unmask Remus so that he could be expelled for being a Werewolf. He went down to the Whomping Willow of his own free will, no one forced him, and he supposedly knew what was happening there: he risked his own life only to get Remus expelled. Yes, it was Sirius who thought it would have been funny to lure him to the Shrieking Shack where Lupin was due for his transformation, and that was wrong. However, why did he do that? Because Snape was constantly spying on them. Was it wrong? Definitely, no one is trying to get Sirius out of this one. Still, James saved Snape in time. Did James do that just because he wanted to protect Remus? Most likely: James gave them all a family and he loved his friends and would have done everything for them, and he did. But also, he wouldn’t have let an “innocent” (if we want to call him that) die. So James saved Snape’s life, which dear Half Blood Price seemed deeply ungrateful for later, and yet, Snape constantly tried to get the Marauders expelled from Hogwarts time and time again while using Dark Magic and creating his own dark spells (see the irony?). Stop saying that the Marauders’ actions pushed him to become a Death Eater. As if “Snape never missed an opportunity to curse James” was a lie. As if Snape wasn’t on his way to being a buddying Death Eater by his 5th year. As if Snape hadn’t came up with a curse that slices your body open by his 6th year. As if the Marauders had nothing to do but ruthlessly bully Snape all day and all night, when they actually are described as the brightest as some of the brightest students of their year despite being engaged in loads of other things like the creation of the Marauders Map, becoming Animagus, dealing with Remus’ monthly transformations (because those demonic guys didn’t leave him alone and didn’t report him to get him expelled as someone else was willing to do), James and Remus being responsible enough to be Head Boy and Prefect. Oh, and training for a war and joining the Order once they graduated. Minor things, right? Things they were busy doing in their personal lives such as surviving, living and being happy? Nah, that never happened, their entire life consisted of bullying innocent, poor service teenagers, that was their goal. Snape experienced one side of the Marauders (and we read that from his own pov, so it’s a little biased too): that is not a deciding factor of whether or not they (and especially James) are good people. He was so fascinated with the Dark Arts, even after Lily’s death and hence his presumed redemption, that Dumbledore did not appoint him as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. Snape’s apologetics make it sound like the Marauders made Snape’s life hell every minute of everyday and he was the poor victim who was not capable of standing up to himself against those horrible demonic creatures, but he was the one inventing the Sectumsempra and using it against James, against George. Only a truly tormented person could have invented such a bloody spell. 

So now let’s talk about Remus. Remus, a hero who fought against Voldemort and joined an anti-terrorist resistance organisation when he was just 18 years old, who fought alongside Frank and Alice Longbottom in the Order, is about to start his first class with the third years. Neville is there, of course, Remus knows his parents’ fate, how they were tortured into madness, and probably guessed that Neville’s biggest fear would be similar to what he guessed Harry’s would be. He’s probably planning on stepping in before Bellatrix Lestrange shows up, but then it’s not her, it’s Snape. Snape who insults him in front of his class, Snape who tries to shame him. Can you imagine how he must have felt? Yes, they bullied him, but his best friend James grew up, and what did he get in return? Death. Instead, Snape hasn’t gotten over himself a little and most importantly he does not realise that being a teacher also means being responsible for those children. Snape never changes: he is the same petty, angry, bitter child that he had been in school, except now he’s bullying children half his age instead of yelling racial slurs at his classmates. While Snape is one of his students’ greatest fear, Remus starts off the year by letting his pupils confront their biggest fears. Remus truly, deeply cared about his students, and wait… what did Snape do? He got him fired! But even most achingly than that, just imagine… it’s 1993, Remus is coming back after a rough full moon. He’s feeling down, he’s weak, both physically and emotionally, he’s one more time without his friends by his side, one more time alone as he was before the Marauders became Animaguses to be alongside him to support him during the roughest times (horrible people, isn’t it?). So Remus is coming back to his class of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and his best friend’s son is writing an essay on how to kill him. But Snape didn’t stop there, no, he told the whole Wizarding World that a man who had struggled to keep his condition secret all his life was a Werewolf. He had to withdraw from his position as a professor because of that, and straight after that the Ministry issued a law against Werewolves which made it impossible for Remus to have a job. So, to sum it up, not only he exposed him as a Werewolf, he also condemned him to live in poverty and be persecuted for that reason. Also, quoting, when Remus was trying to explain things in PoA he attacked him and said “I’ll drag the Werewolf, perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him too.” James and Sirius were the kind of persons, the kind of friends and brothers, who risked their own life every month for one of his best friends. Think about this: they found out about Remus’ situation when they were just boys in their first years of school, and they didn’t leave him, they decided to help him embarking in something much bigger than themselves. Whereas dear lovely 33 year old Necrophilus told everyone about Remus’ secret and basically had him fired. Sounds angelic, why haven’t I thought about doing something like that before? That would most certainly secure me a spot in heaven!

Do we want to talk about an abusive person? Well, Snape was not just abusive as a person, he abused and took advantage of his position as a teacher (and Head of House too, to reward extra points from the other Houses) to bully his own students (even after his presumed “redemption”). He told Neville he would have given his failed potion to his toad, Trevor, so that the fatal effects of the potion would teach him a lesson. He bullied Neville to the point that he was literally his greatest fear - Neville’s parents were tortured to the point of insanity by Bellatrix, yet Snape was his greatest fear. He also condoned and took part in bullying when Draco cursed Hermione’s teeth to grow. He said he didn’t see any difference, then watched as she ran off crying. From the very start he starts bullying Harry: he perfectly knew he was raised by muggles, he knew how Petunia was and still went on to ask questions that he wouldn’t be able to answer. And after calling Neville and idiot for a mistake that anyone could have made he took points from Gryffindor because Harry didn’t tell him how to do it right - great teaching strategy, let’s nominate him for Most Valuable Teacher. Harry had nothing to do with what went on during Snape’s school years, but he physically resembled James and he was his son, so let’s bully him from the very first second! And honestly, asking an 11 years old Muggle-raised kid the difference between monskshood and wolfsbane in front of everyone on the first day? There is no difference! They are colloquial terms for the same plant. He just wanted the intellectual upper hand over a goddamn little kid. But he didn’t stop there: that resentful git always tried to blame Harry for something even without proof (as most of the time), and he physically abused Harry because he was angry (“Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard onto the dungeon floor.”). He knew how important it was for Harry to learn Occlumency and he stopped giving him classes and later ignored when Lupin asked him to start them again even when he knew how poorly Harry’s progressed. And he was cruel: he knew Harry was sad about Sirius’ death, and gave him a detention in which he was going to see his and his father’s names multiple times while copying out old detention records. Yes, Harry’s deeds should have called for expulsion, as McGonagall states, but Snape chose something more painful than that. Not only he punished Harry (don’t get me wrong, he almost killed Draco, he deserved detention if not expulsion), but he chose to inflict him more pain and at the same time tried to ruin the memory of Harry’s father figures. Ordinarily, copying out old detention records wouldn’t be worse than writing lines, but Snape vindictively tailored that detention to inflict pain.  In addition to this, he could have been an awesome teacher if he wasn’t a disgusting waste of a human being. He knew from his teen years that the instructions that the textbooks were giving were not as goos as they could be so he improved the potions and recorded his own methods at 16. Harry himself states what an amazing teacher “the Prince” is. If Snape were not such a horrible person, he could have either written the entire textbooks himself, or taught his students his own alternate methods. Instead he spent his time bullying children. He could have been great and become everything a Slytherin should have been

Snape also saw his friends perform Dark Magic on Mary Macdonald and when confronted by Lily, literally didn’t see any problem with it and compared it with the Marauders’ pranks.

He called Lily, his supposed best friend, a Mudblood. Then he tried to get away with it by saying he didn’t mean it and that she (and only she) was different from the other Muggleborns. And Lily tried, she tried to tell him he was not on the right path, she tried, and she got called a racial slur from the person she trusted the most at the time. And, for the extremist Snape apologetics in the back, who even hate Lily (how can they hate on Lily I don’t know, but apparently these people exist too): Lily Evans did not owe anyone anything. She had the right to cut ties with her friends for any reason she pleased, whatever that’s because she was sick of them or because they were hanging out with a group of terrorists wannabe. She did not owe anyone her love, loyalty or energy. She tried to be Snape’s friend despite his other group of friends (“but Mulciber’s and Avery’s idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don’t understand how you can be friends with them”), but there’s canon evidence that Snape chose his Death Eaters friends over Lily’s friendship and safety. It was her choice to cut ties with him after what he and his friends had done (and the racial slur of course, truly a touch of class), and it’s not like he was a good friend to begin with: he called all other Muggleborns “Mudblood” and was canon friends with the people who wanted Lily and other Muggleborns killed, and he even still wanted to be a Death Eater while being her friend. Like, wait here while I go out and slaughter your people, Lils! And if Snape stans are still arguing that he was suffering because he got dumped, that’s another no: he did not get dumped, she just didn’t have romantic feelings for him but was trying so hard to be his friend and he was just a whiny baby about it. Is that a crime? No, it isn’t. Is not getting over it and taking it out on countless kids who weren’t even born instead a crime? Yes, it is.

Also, from the get-go we see him drop a tree branch on Petunia. That shows that he didn’t see a problem in hurting the people Lily loved (seen later in a larger proportion, that’s his tag line). Lily loved her sister, but Petunia was an obstacle between her and Snape, hence, Snape hurt her. And no, that was not accidental underage magic, just as Lily performs magic on the flower, Snape uses magic to cause a tree branch to fall on Petunia. Even as a child he had no qualms about hurting someone Lily loved, this really serves to underscore the idea that Snape, with his so called love for Lily, was not invested in her happiness or wellbeing because he didn’t care about the people she loved. As a child he didn’t care about hurting her sister and at 20 he didn’t care about the imminent deaths of her husband and son. If he truly loved and cared for her, he would have wanted to see her happy. Not even considering how crushed she would have been if her husband and only child were dead, and she was left alone and pregnant in the middle of a war.

Okay so now let’s talk about James. Yes, James was a spoiled brat, and Lily hated him for that, then guess what? He matured, he started protecting the weaker ones and joined the Order along with Sirius, Remus and Lily to fight for a better world. He didn’t hold it against her nor did he sulk for days, he grew up and matured because he was a well adjusted human, unlike some. James Potter was many things other than an “arrogant bullying toerag” (hey, also, well done for trying to destroy a 15-year-old orphan’s memory of his heroic father): he was a friend who risked his life every month for Remus’s safety and comfort. A brother who took Sirius in and was “the best friend he ever had.” An adored friend of half-giant Hagrid, in an age when all “half-breeds” were looked upon with suspicion during the war. An all time “favourite student” of Minerva McGonagall, so much that she waited all day at his son’s future home and wept at his death. A savior of his enemies even when they were trying to expose his friends’ secrets. An activist protecting the right of existence for Muggles, Muggleborns and hybrids right out of school. A soldier who faced Voldemort three times and lived to tell about it. A caring father who went into hiding to protect his son. A loving husband who sacrificed his life for his family. A faded trace of magic still trying to guide his son when the man that killed him returned to life. A young man that inspired so much loyalty in his friends that Remus Lupin, who so feared the idea of harming people because of his condition, was 100% willing to abandon those morals to avenge his death, and would have done so, had Harry not reminded him and Sirius that James would not have wanted them to murder anyone for him. A Patronus helping Harry through his darkest moments until the very end.  James had a friend facing bigotry and he became an illegal animagus to help make that friend’s life better. Snape had a friend facing bigotry and he joined up with the bigots. No one is trying to pretend that James was an angel, but he got better and better until his last breath. And again, that spoiled brat and the love of his life joined the resistance and were martyrs. James, Lily, Sirius and Remus all died for Harry. Are you trying to blame James and Lily for sacrificing their own lives to save their infant son? What terrible parents they were! Their sacrifice was an act of love and wait… actually ended up saving the Wizarding World. The only thing James and Snape had in common was that they would have both sacrificed James’s life in order to save Lily’s. James was the hero, he was the one who faced Voldemort without his wand (pretty dumb thing but he was a Gryffindor, hence no surprise) in order to give his wife and son more time to flee. When he opened that door on Halloween, he thought he was sacrificing his life so that they could live. He literally died wandless perfectly knowing he wouldn’t survive, but facing death for those he loved, hoping he would be able to stall enough time so they could escape. He was never more dedicated in anything in his short life than he was to the loves of his life: he died for Lily and Harry, and would have happily died for Sirius, Remus and Peter. And this is absolutely canon, of course it is: we might not have some explicit description of him but all we know comes from the lives he touched, how they talked / not talked about him, the pain they felt - the seven books are a testament of James and Lily’s love. James Potter was the kind of person that would have been happy to die for love, he would have taken pride in that. How do we know that? Are we making this up? No, we are not: all we have are the words of people who knew him, from his best friends to McGonagall, and who remembered him as a hero. This, albeit indirectly, speaks volume about the kind of person he was. He might have been obnoxious and arrogant as a teenager, but at 21 he died a hero - wandless, alone, betrayed, hopeless, but also bravely and out of love - and nothing can change either of those. Yes, he bullied Snape (let’s be clear here even though I highly doubt Snape did not retaliate) and that is a disgusting attitude. But how can you forgive a 31 year old man for bullying his kids and not a 15 year old boy who bullied one of his definitely not innocent classmates? Who matured and who later died, at the young age of 21, for his wife and son? How can you hate James Potter when as soon as he graduated, he was ready to fight a war against the most powerful wizard of his age? Yes, he had a big head and I am fairly certain he did actually strut - and let’s just take a moment to remember why Harry doesn’t know anything about him… oh, right, Snape went to Voldemort and told him about the prophecy - but he was a caring person, who stood up to what he thought and stood up for his friends and his family. The spoilt boy Snape’s apologetics hate, who grew up to be a great man, who died fighting and protecting, not some emo with a crush and an ego the size of the Great Lake!  Wait, I hear somebody trying to bring up the “we have no real evidence of him becoming a better person” thing. Let me get this straight: James was mentioned to have jinxed other students, not to have bullied them. He did not pick out targets, it was implied to be done at random as it is explicitly stated that he jinxed random people in the corridors. Fred and George pranked other students in the same way, and they would have often have more disastrous effects, but no one calls them bullies. We know that on one known occasion attacks Snape with Sirius at his side and almost pantsed him with a spell of Snape’s own invention. James and Snape had a rivalry, and it was two-sided. It wasn’t James relentlessly hexing poor, innocent Snape, so if you still want to call James Potter a bully, okay, do it, he was a bully bullying a bully. The evidence speaks for itself: he was Head Boy in 7th year (hence I don’t think Dumbledore despised him that much), he was unapologetically a blood traitor, he dated Lily Evans (who hated him for how he was and would have never fallen in love with such a brat, so it’s pretty evident he did actually change), he joined the Order of the Phoenix (an anti-terrorist organisation, at the peak of the war, as a teenager, whereas someone else joins a racist dark cult), he died protecting his wife and child! And if we really, really want to bring the ‘evidence’ thing up… well, we have no evidence he bullied Snape, except for one little incident - I’m fairly certain he did, but let’s play it literally now. And since we are there, we may not have been blessed with more about the Marauders, but Sirius and Remus both tell Harry Lily changed his mind about James because he became a better person, why don’t Snape stans consider that an evidence pro James but “Snape’s worst memory” is their pro Snape pamphlet? That chapter showed us an incident where both Sirius and James were assholes but everyone that was there supported it but Lily. All the other Students supported it because of what the fandom conveniently forgets that Snape loved Dark Arts, disparagingly called Lily a Muggle twice, tried to expose Remus and run around with a group of Death Eater wannabes tormenting Muggleborns all through his school years (he literally says that torturing Mary Macdonald was funny - “That was nothing, it was a laugh, that’s all”), to the point where Lily’s friends and herself questioned their friendship: “none of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. I’ve made excuses for you for years.” And eventually, when questioned by Lily if he wanted to join Voldemort, he couldn’t find any way to lie to her: “you and your precious little Death Eater friends— you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You Know Who can you?”. He literally didn’t find anything wrong with Voldemort’s political position (only the fact that he wanted to kill his obsession, he only had that so called change of heart when it personally affected him as his beloved Dark Lord wanted to kill the object of his lust). So yes, he did join the Death Eaters because he wanted to and was everything he’d always desired. Does this make him a bad person? HELL YES.  

And wait, can somebody remind me why the Potters were forced to hide? Wow, it must have been because Snivellus dearest spilled the tea to his master. So basically it went like this: “Hey Dark Lord! Our adorable group of racists kills Mudbloods for fun, but there’s this filthy Muggle born I fancy, can you please kill her husband and baby so that I can have her?” How the hell could he think Lily could have ever forgiven him? He was totally fine with Dumbledore saving Lily but not her husband and infant son (see how deeply he cared about Lily’s happiness?) and only cared for him being the rebound. James and Harry were totally expendable but hey, bravest man ever known!  

So yes, he protected Harry (in his very own and questionable way, he did), but I’m sorry, that’s not enough. However, before someone says “in the end he cared about Harry” let me say a big, important fact: NAH HE DIDN’T. And not only he didn’t, but he also openly states that: in the Deathly Hallows chapter with the Pensieve, Snape describes Harry as selfish, self-important and arrogant - does it matter than all the other teachers like him and see none of those things? Of course not. And he’s not talking about sassy 4th-6th year Harry (who I really thank for that “there's no need to call me "sir" Professor” gem): Snape is tasing about an 11 year old who was picked on his whole life, who never had a family of his own and who lived in a cupboard under the stairs. He’s a child, an orphan (now tell me what’s that heroic about tormenting an orphan). However, Snape had decided that Harry must be bad news from the start, so he reasonably spends six years making his life as difficult as possible. That’s a great way to honour Lily’s memory, right? Do Snape stans remember what their hero answered when Dumbledore asked if he had grown to care for the boy, after all? He literally shouted “for him?” before casting a Patronus (a little over obsessive too). He felt he owed it to Lily to make sure Harry survives, and for Merlin’s sake, he did! He went to Voldemort and basically condemned the Potters. I’m not saying he is THE reason why they died, that honour goes to the lurid latrine rat, but he is one of them. Protecting Harry was the least he could do. Switching allegiances doesn’t cancel the awful actions before Lily’s death, as much as taking advantage of his position can’t be justified by his loyalty to Dumbledore. And most importantly, he cannot be redeemed by his stalkerish obsession for Lily (or by the creepy ‘look at me I want to die looking into your mother’s eyes,’ ew). All he did was made out of selfishness, even in his quest to redeem himself. Snape had a chance to honour Lily's memory, and disregarded it every single day. He claimed to regret his past, yet his cruelty to Harry was persistent and immature. Plus, loving someone doesn’t redeem terrible deeds. He aligned himself with a terrorist organisation who murdered for sport entirely of his own volition, endorsed the torture of Muggleborns, but of course, what a hero! I will never understand how people continue to use Snape’s obsession with Lily and ‘protecting’ Harry thing as an excuse for all the pain and terror that he inflicted upon small children. Does that mean you’ll excuse a father who continuously hit and emotionally abused his child and made their life a living hell if his excuse was “well I was still protecting them they had their dead mother’s eyes”? This is SICK.

And if you can still argue that “he had a terrible childhood,” that is inarguable, however, it just cannot justify him. Remus was bitten when he was 4, he had no friends until he was 11, lived in constant fear that he was going to be outed as a Werewolf, was forced to turn into a monster every month, lost everyone he loved and lived in poverty for 14 years and still managed to be a decent person. Luna watched her mother die, was picked on by almost everyone, was treated as a freak and only had one friend until she was 14 and still managed to be a decent person. Ginny was literally possessed by Voldemort himself for almost a year, guess what? Decent person too. Neville was constantly told how worthless he was, lived knowing his parents were tortured to insanity and was bullied and belittled by everyone. Decent person? Yes, right again. And do we want to talk about THE lonely kid who was abused his entire life? Sirius was raised and abused by blood supremacists, was disowned by his family, framed for murder (of his best friends, for Merlin’s sake!) and literally lost almost everyone he loved and still managed to be a decent person. He couldn't help the way he was? The environment around him conditioned him to be that way? If I remember correctly, Harry was raised by neglectful relatives, wore ill-fitting clothes, felt inadequate among his peers… Harry is proof that a terrible childhood doesn’t excuse despicable behaviour.

So, Snape hated Neville because he could have been the Chosen One instead of Harry (but it’s definitely on him for going to Voldemort and condemning the Potters), he hated Harry because he was James’s copy and he hated Hermione because she was a Mudblood and brilliant as Lily was. Makes sense, again, and again, it stresses how much of a beautiful person and teacher he was, don’t you think so? Also, had Voldemort picked Neville to kill instead of Harry, Snape would still be a Death Eater. It’s not like he thought being part of a group of supremacists and terrorists was wrong. It wasn’t until something directly affected him that he turned his back to his master - so brave, right? Snape may have done some good for the Wizarding World when he joined the Order, but while he was alive, he was horrible. He wasn't fighting the good fight because he couldn't possibly imagine a world where Voldemort was in charge (honestly, he couldn't have cared less), he was doing it to spare Lily’s life and get her for himself. James and Lily fought for the light because they believed in the light. Snape fought against the dark because the dark had offended him. Had Voldemort gone after the Longbottoms instead, Snape would have lived and died as the most loyal Death Eater in history.

Wait, I hear a “there’s no evidence that Snape voluntarily murdered anyone in his entire life” over there! He joined a group whose aim was genocide and was actually one of the few members which were part of the inner circle of Death Eaters, he didn’t get there by throwing kisses and rose petals around. It is explicitly said that not all Death Eaters actually bore the mark. Only selected wizards can be part of Voldemort’s circle, and not only Snape was part of that circle during the First Wizarding War, but it is also heavily implied that he passed messages from Voldemort more than once. Plus, he was also able to speak directly to Voldemort and even ask him to spare Lily’s life. Voldemort actually told Lily to move over three times before killing her, and he didn’t do that because he had such a kind heart and wanted to spare a Muggleborn’s life, he did that because Snape begged him. And maybe we haven’t read the same books, but it’s not like Voldemort strolled along Diagon Alley offering favours to random people. In addition to this, Snape did most certainly kill someone since Dumbledore compares Draco’s soul to his, meaning he has done remorseless acts of great evil before, hence his soul was already damaged, unlike Draco’s. So please, stop saying Snape was somehow influenced into joining the Death Eaters and never committed any crime: he fully believed in what they pledged and actually longed about being one of them for years (according to Lily). No one manipulated him into joining said group nor into perpetrating crimes. And no one manipulated him into being a horrible person even after he “switched sides.” He’s the one who willingly decides to be a terrorist, he’s the one who willingly decides to abuse children half his age, and he’s the one having the nerve to be awful to Harry when he’s the reason why Harry doesn’t have any parents.

And he was so childish and cruel! He threw a tantrum after discovered he was getting an Order of Merlin and wasn’t going to see Remus and Sirius in jail (even though he knew they were innocent).

There we go: HE KNEW SIRIUS WAS INNOCENT (don’t try to deny it, he was part of the inner circle of Death Eaters, he perfectly knew Sirius was not the one selling the Potters to Voldemort)! Did this matter for him? Of course not! And was Snape cruel and abusive to Harry because he blamed himself for Lily’s death and Harry was a constant reminder of his guilt? Yes, he was. But you know who else blamed himself for the Potters’ deaths and also was constantly reminded of them by Harry, and yet, did not abuse him because of his guilt? That’s right, Sirius. Sirius whose death was indirectly caused by Snape who kept making fun of him for being locked in Grimmauld Place. Sirius who had no problems breaking out of Azkaban, all he had to do was turn into a dog and leave. He could have left anytime he wanted to over those twelve years but he didn’t. You know why? Because he thought he deserved to be there. It was his fault his friends were dead. Everyone could blame him all they wanted with false accusations and it didn’t matter, since to him, changing Peter to the Secret Keeper, he was guilty for his friends’ death and deserved to be in Azkaban. He only broke out when he knew Harry was in danger after seeing that filthy rat on the newspaper. And when he broke into Hogwarts? Do people remember those lines: Hermione said “It’s very lucky he picked tonight, you know,” to which Ron responded “I reckon he’s lost track of time, being on the run. Didn’t realise it was Halloween.” Please, of course he realised it was Halloween, he perfectly knew that. He went after Peter on the anniversary of James and Lily’s death to revenge them and to save his godson. Sirius might have strut as much as James during his teens but again, he turned out to be a decent person.

And think about Harry, a 17-year-old grown up in an abused “family” (and still managed to be a decent person too): he has no memories of his parents, the only thing remained is a photograph. A photograph of a happy little family, showing James and Lily in love with the fruit of their love. Snape found it and ripped off and stole the half with Lily smiling so he could pretend her happiness and love were directed at him and not at her husband and son (yes, people, that disgusting moment actually existed, and it was so creepy Yates couldn’t put it in the movies). He stole Lily’s picture and Lily’s last words from Sirius, a friend she loved, the Potters’ best man, James’ brother. How nasty. What can I say, at least he waited until after Sirius’ death to go to Grimmauld Place and raid his bedroom?

Lovely Snivellus, such a cupcake, also laughed and mocked Tonks when her Patronus changed when she fell in love with Remus (let’s also remember that Tonks’s one was not the same as Remus’s, as stated by Rowling, before Snape stans can accuse me of applying double standards: Remus’s Patronus was a regular wolf, and okay Harry is oblivious at times, but he would have recognised a regular wolf) despite the fact that his own changed to match Lily’s - let’s just remember that THIS is obsessive behaviour, whilst James and Lily’s Patroni represent them being soulmates. Snape’s Patronus does not honour Lily, stop considering this the greatest romantic moment of all times, it does not show virtue nor morality, it’s just the representation of his creepy fascination with necrophilia. It’s disgusting, not noble. His so called love for Lily is creepy. She found happiness with another man, yet Snape was possessive, manipulative, and inarguably obsessive. And let’s remember that J.K. Rowling said that “he thought Lily would find him impressive if he became a real Death Eater”… was he really her best friend or was he just completely blinded by his attraction to the dark side? This is not a redemptive love, this is problematic, toxic, abusive, emotionally-stunted, obsessive.

This is because there was never a love triangle and that’s why there is simply NO Team Snape! Not winning at the genetic lottery doesn’t justify being such an awful person! Also, THIS is why the tag line should be changed from “always” to “Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll hold him off!” or to “until the very end” because a father’s eternal love for his son is much more important than a racist’s obsession of a dead woman (dead because he contributed to her death, to be precise). His always and doe patrons can’t get him out of this one. Eventually, let’s remember J.K. Rowling’s dedication in Deathly Hallows: “[…] to you, if you have stuck with Harry until the very end.” Not “always” nor creepy moaning, just the pure words of a hero, of a loving father who died protecting the ones he loved most. 

Now, I don’t get why we should celebrate Snivellus as the hero of Slytherin and an example of the “not all Slytherins are evil” when Regulus Black died in a cave, drowned by reanimated corpses to bring about the downfall of Voldemort, and Narcissa Black straight up lied to Voldemort because she’s first and foremost a mother, ruthless in doing whatever it took to save her beloved son. Regulus and Narcissa were brave: despite their flaws they knew what mattered the most and they were two big key factor in Harry’s survival and Voldemort’s demise. Sure, Snape was among the three that deceived the Dark Lord, but whilst Regulus did it because he realised what was right and what wasn’t, and Narcissa did it because of love, putting her family first (plus, she wasn’t even a Death Eater, and this tells a lot about her, as her loyalties solely lie with her family), Snape did it because resentfulness. Sure, Regulus joined the Dark Eaters of his own free will and Narcissa did what she did only after having her family threatened, but since one of Snape stans’ major point in his defence is his family being abused, let’s take their family into consideration too. The Blacks were pureblood supremacist, they grew up within that establishment and yes, some members of the family rejected those arguable ‘values’ but not everyone has the courage to do that (also, every Black family member is indisputably a badass, don’t get me started on that). On the contrary, Snape was a half-blood, and still, ended up hating muggleborns - yes, don’t try to say he didn’t, he joined the Death Eaters because he believed in Voldemort’s cause. He disparages mud bloods, he joins in on their massacre as a Death Eater after having idolised them for years in school before actually joining them. Read this again: he idolised a group of pureblood supremacist, he actively helps orchestrate genocide against the muggleborns. And what is his Freudian excuse? He believed that, in so far as Halfblood, he had to ‘prove’ that he was magical and capable enough (does this remind you of somebody else who hated muggles albeit being a half-blood and eradicates his whole Muggle family?), you can see that in how he strived to highlight his maternal Prince lineage in his stupid nickname. And no, now don’t try to blame the Marauders’ behaviour for this: Severus Snape, the man you glorify, hated muggleborns and went out of his way to commit genocide against them. So, in the end, if you still deny that, despite it being clear in the books, you are being dishonest. If, on the contrary, you fully realise it and still glamorise Snape despite how horrible of a person he was, well Snape stans, you have sunk to a new low. I’m not trying to justify anyone who supported said supremacist beliefs, but at least Regulus and Narcissa were born and bred within one of the Sacred 28, those beliefs were instilled in them from the very beginning, Snape reached them all on his own (well done for embracing your nazi self Snivellus). Regulus turned his back on Voldemort as soon as he realised how wrong he had been: at age 18, he literally sacrificed himself to try and stop his master. Narcissa, on the other hand, never sworn loyalty to Voldemort: she was a pureblood elitist, yes, she was guided by pride, but she was also calm, rational and restrained where her sister was crazed and her husband was reckless. So… Regulus faced death in the hope that when when the time had come, Voldemort would have met his match and would have been mortal once more, and Cissy only wanted best for her family and did everything she could to protect her son. She perfectly knew that Voldemort could have easily killed her in a second, but she wanted to find Draco, kept a straight face as the strong woman she was and fooled the Dark Lord. And why did Snape deceive Voldemort? Oh, right, he told him the prophecy that eventually led to the killing of the woman he was obsessed with (and no, again, he did not care at all about her husband and baby), this, of course after asking him to spare her life so that he could have had her (so this is, once again, classic Snivellus holding grudges). Regulus and Narcissa are pretty much the epitome of Slytherin, and still, let’s celebrate Snape! As a Slytherin myself, I am utterly disgusted by Snape’s behaviour. He could have been an amazing teacher, he had the talent to be one of the greatest Potions masters ever, and he willingly chose to throw it away in favour of being awful for the sake of bullying his own pupils. If we have to pick characters who proved that not all Slytherins are evil, let’s look at Regulus, let’s look at Narcissa, let’s look at Slughorn and Andromeda. Slughorn fought against Voldemort during the Battle of Hogwarts and refused to become a Death Eater, Andromeda married a Muggleborn. And guess what? None of them bullied children for 15 years.

Then, for the “I sometimes think we Sort too soon” thing… no, just no. Before you can start yelling at me, I am not, I repeat, I am absolutely not saying this because I endorse the whole Gryffindor being saints thing. I am a Slytherin, and a proud one. I just don’t agree that Snape was brave. Is being a resentful, childish and abusive man being brave? Wow, I’ll have to refresh my vocabulary!  It is not brave to bully your pupils for years because you lost your loved one, it is not brave to refuse to accept a woman loves somebody else and moves on, it is not brave to keep a childhood grudge against that someone because they ‘stole’ the so called love of your life, it is not brave to try to destroy an orphan’s image of their heroic father. Snape was burned Lily had chosen James over him, so burned that, fuelled by jealousy and envy (and by his pretty questionable ideals too, because it’s too convenient to forget he is 100% a Death Eater and hence a supporter of Voldemort’s lovely view for the Wizarding World), he struck out and ended up getting Lily killed. I don’t consider playing the martyr by “teaching” (if we really want to call that teaching instead of child abuse) and being an occasional spy being brave. I call it feeling guilty, I call it ‘I deserve to suffer for hurting Lily but I still choose to bully her own son instead of honouring her,’ I call it ‘I keep on tormenting an orphan because I hated his father and he looks too much like him, plus, he has his mother’s eyes so I’m constantly remembered of 1) Lily choosing James over me and 2) Lily dying because of me telling my beloved Dark Lord the prophecy.’ Any protection Snape offered Harry, he did it because of his penance, not because protecting him (and hence stopping Voldemort) was the right choice. Wow, how brave of him. I don’t think Snape could have been a Gryffindor at all, and I hated how David Yates (again, very conveniently for his martyr business) placed the Gryffindor scarf hanging up in the background in Snape’s death scene as a nod to his supposed bravery. Like, really?! Even if you really want to call him brave, he’s still an awful person who shouldn’t have been allowed to teach because of how abusive he was, an awful person who was a member and supporter of a supremacist, racist and violent sect, an awful person who caused the death of innocent people - and I could go on and on. You can’t let a few good deeds outweigh all the bad! It’s not like some potion or Imperius Curse made him join the Death Eaters, spill the tea about the prophecy and terrorise those children. He willingly chooses to do that because he was an awful person until the very end. And still, Snape apologists be like “the conclusion of his arc is that abusing your position of power over children is forgivable if you stalked one of their parents when you were a teen.” Again, sick.

Snape’s portrayal in the movies is entirely fan-service throughout the whole series of films, but especially in DH part 2: they never showed Sirius arriving at the Potters the night Lily and James died, they never showed the moment his whole world collapsed when he saw the corpses of his best friends, the moment he blamed himself for what had happened. No, we got an entirely made-up (and creepy) scene of Snape getting there, holding Lily’s body and crying when that never happened! We also never got a scene with Sirius and Remus evidently struggling to hold it together while they tell Harry about James, how he changed and how Lily fell in love with him. Their pain would have shown how much James had an impact on their lives, for the better, but of course, we only got a partial rendition of Snape’s worst memory, with careful cuts of course, they couldn’t say he didn’t find anything wrong with the torture of Muggleborns, right?

You can like Snape, sure, he’s a flawed character with an interesting past, but he’s not a hero, stop portraying him as such instead of what he really was: an abusive, creepy, racist man. You are allowed to like villains (who doesn’t?) but stop praising him! You don’t have to justify his actions because you like him: he was awful, recognise it.

Do we (still) need to talk about double standards? Well, there we go: people hate Lavender Brown and Cho Chang. Fair enough, pretty annoying girls if you want to hear me, but why do they get hate? They get hate for how they handle their feelings: Lavender gets hate for how she handles her unrequited romantic feelings, and Cho gets hate for crying and grieving over the death of her boyfriend. Does this sound like a thread to you? With the sole difference that they get more hate than Snape and this is disturbing and honestly just sick. He is a terrorist, he literally moans the entire series and abuses and terrorises children because he couldn’t have Lily but hey, misunderstood hero!

Stop romanticising Snape: the only reason why people love him is Alan Rickman, and all of this hatred is just a pathetic way of trying to cover up that James grew up while Snape didn’t. How can people glorify and stand up for a man who canonically is a vindictive bully? To be honest, I’m genuinely concerned for people who over romanticise such a man. Correct me if I’m wrong: do you see anyone sticking up for the Dursley’s or Umbridge, when they do basically the same stuff to Harry as Snape? How is Necrophilus any different? I will never regard him as a hero for as long as I am alive, however, the movies conveniently cut those parts where Snivellus was the half princey of baddies, right? Also, I really wish Sirius could have found out about this lovely nickname Snape gave himself as a teenager, that alone would have cured his depression, post traumatic stress disorder and alcoholism, this is a real tragedy.

Severus Snape did not die for love. He died because Voldemort thought hew was the true Elder Wand owner. I repeat: he did not die for love. Period.

He raised a wand to McGonagall!

Avada

Kedavra

[snapedefense]

“All right, Snivellus?” said James loudly. 

Snape reacted so fast it was as though she had been expecting an attack: Dropping her bag, she plunged her hand inside her robes, and her wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, “Expelliarmus!” 

Snape’s wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind her. 

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. “Impedimenta!” he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off her feet, halfway through a dive toward her own fallen wand. 

Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had gotten to their feet and were edging nearer to watch. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained. Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on her, wands up, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water’s edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view. 

“How’d the exam go, Snivelly?” said James. 

“I was watching her, her nose was touching the parchment,” said Sirius viciously. “There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.” 

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular. Wormtail sniggered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on her; she was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes. 

“You — wait,” she panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing. “You — wait. . . .” 

“Wait for what?” said Sirius coolly. “What’re you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?” 

Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but her wand being ten feet away nothing happened. 

“Wash out your mouth,” said James coldly. “Scourgify!” Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering her lips, making her gag, choking her— 

“Leave her ALONE!” James and Sirius looked around. James’s free hand jumped to his hair again. It was one of the girls from the lake edge. She had thick, dark red hair that fell to her shoulders and startlingly green almond-shaped eyes — Harry’s eyes. Harry’s mother . . . 

“All right, Evans?” said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature. 

“Leave her alone,” Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. “What’s she done to you?” 

“Well,” said James, appearing to deliberate the point, “it’s more the fact that she exists, if you know what I mean. . . .” 

Many of the surrounding watchers laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn’t, and neither did Lily. 

“You think you’re funny,” she said coldly. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave her alone.” 

“I will if you go out with me, Evans,” said James quickly. “Go on . . . Go out with me, and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.” 

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch toward her fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as she crawled. 

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily. 

“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius briskly, turning back to Snape. “OY!” 

But too late; Snape had directed her wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, her robes falling over her head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants. Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Wormtail roared with laughter. 

Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, “Let her down!” 

“Certainly,” said James and he jerked his wand upward. Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling herself from her robes, she got quickly to her feet, wand up, but Sirius said, “Petrificus Totalus!” and Snape keeled over again at once, rigid as a board. 

“LEAVE HER ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily. 

“Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you,” said James earnestly. 

“Take the curse off her, then!” James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the countercurse. 

“There you go,” he said, as Snape struggled to her feet again, “you’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus —” 

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!” Lily blinked. 

“Fine,” she said coolly. “I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.” 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at her. 

“I don’t want you to make her apologize,” Lily shouted, rounding on James. “You’re as bad as she is. . . .” 

“What?” yelped James. “I’d NEVER call you a — you-know-what!” 

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.” She turned on her heel and hurried away. 

“Evans!” James shouted after her, “Hey, EVANS!” But she didn’t look back. 

“What is it with her?” said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him. 

“Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,” said Sirius. 

“Right,” said James, who looked furious now, “right —” 

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside down in the air. 

“Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?” 

TL;DR: A group of boys attacks a girl, disarms her, knocks her off her feet, insults her, gags her, jinxes her, exposes her underwear, & finally threatens (and most likely does) to take off her underwear. 

This literally changes nothing except the pronoun of one character. Except now the Marauders’ actions seem so inexcusable, don’t they?

[maraudersinparadise]

Squid-Potter

Lily's POV on the pivotal post DADA O.W.L. and James's attempt to apologise and make her laugh

FF.net /\ AO3

It was just so stupid. All of it.

Severus Snape and how he had most definitively gone to the wrong side.

James Potter and that ridiculous hair of his.

The rest of the Gryffindor’s fifth year boys – Peter Pettigrew for laughing, Sirius Black for encouraging Potter, and Remus Lupin for doing nothing to stop the other three.

All of the Hogwarts students who had laughed at Potter’s idiotic antics.

But the most stupid of all, Lily thought, was herself for feeling so rotten about it.

It was not exactly news that Severus leaned towards the Dark Arts. She had desperately watched as her childhood friend listened more and more to the rubbish that the likes of Mulciber and Avery babbled all day, and less and less to her warnings.

He spent more and more time with those Slytherins, plotting against people like her, and then saying to her, ‘it’s just for a laugh, Lily, I’d never do that to you’.

Until he did.

She had been quite happy just a few hours earlier. Enjoying the end of another O.W.L., when summer was nearly there. Mary MacDonald told her to stop fretting a bit about the exam and relax, proceeding to take off her shoes and socks, and cooling her feet on the lake’s water. Lily saw the other girls doing the same, so she shrugged and imitated her friends.

Lily really was content. They were laughing about nonsense, anxious to get home and free from that terrible year. She worried a bit about going home and rowing with Petunia, but the thought of seeing her parents was overwhelming.

And the fact that she would not have to deal with James Potter and his shenanigans was also a silver lining.

She had noticed him and his friends on the edge of the lake; he was showing off with a snitch (how and why had he gotten it anyways? Wasn’t he a chaser?) to Pettigrew while Black acted like he was God’s gift to humanity, and Remus read a book.

She was, however, quick to return her attention to her friends, ignoring the immature group.

And then they made her notice them.

Well, he made her notice them. The second the nickname ‘Snivellus’ loudly came out of his mouth, Lily looked at the commotion and cursed.

“You’re going there, aren’t you?” Mary asked, resigned.

“Of course I am. Honestly, couldn’t the prat leave Sev alone for just a couple of days? Then I’d be free of them,” Lily replied, huffing impatiently as she put her shoes back on. Mary sighed and followed her.

It was not that she hated her fellow Gryffindors. Remus was a perfectly nice bloke. Peter usually kept to himself. Sirius had that arrogant air on him, but was funny to talk to. Potter… well, he was funny – when he was not humiliating other people, that is. Unfortunately, it happened quite a lot, which made Lily furious.

Sev was choking on soap (‘Really, Potter?’) when Lily got near the boys. There was already a group around them, watching excitedly another session of humiliation by James Bloody Potter.

“Leave him ALONE!” Lily exclaimed angrily. Potter and Black turned immediately, the former automatically running a hand through his hair.

“All right, Evans?” Potter asked her. Had she not been so incredibly annoyed at the situation, she might have noticed that something had changed in Potter’s voice when he addressed her.

“Leave him alone,” Lily asked again, glaring fiercely at Potter. Why, oh why, was he such a prat? “What’s he done to you?” She asked instead.

“Well…” Potter said, making a scene of deliberating the subject, “it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…”

Many of the students surrounding the group laughed, like it was actually funny. It was so not funny. The joke Potter had told four days ago on the Common Room about the troll on a bar, when she came back from round with Remus – that had been funny. This was just plain cruel.

“You think you’re funny, but you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone,” she said again, which was not completely wrong, but was very close to the truth.

“I will if you go out with me, Evans,” Potter said quickly, like he had not even thought about it. “Go on… go out with me and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.”

Shock was the first of the emotions that hit Lily by then. Was that boy even real? She could have sworn he liked him as much he she liked him – which was almost nothing at all. Why all of a sudden was he asking her out? And like this? Was he so caught up on his own little world to think that she would be blackmailed to go out with him? While he humiliated her best friend, no less?

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” Lily spit back. And she meant it. How delusional could that boy be?

“Bad luck, Prongs,” Black replied instead. Potter still looked directly at her glare, and they did not notice Sev regaining his controls until Black screamed, “OI!”

But it was a bit too late – the seconds of distraction facing Lily resulted in Sev managing to hit a spell on Potter, and a bloody gash appeared on his cheek. The next second Sev was upside down, robes hanging over his head and his underpants showing for the whole school to see.

To be honest, the whole situation would be slightly funny (which the rest of the students agreed, seeing as they were all joining the Marauders in their laughter), and even Lily had to hold back her smile – because it would be slightly funny if done to a friend, not with the sole intention of demeaning the other person.

And intentions counted so much to Lily.

“Let him down!” She ordered them, angrier by the minute.

“Certainly,” James complied, and Sev fell to the ground in an awkward fashion. He had barely put his wand up when Black pointed his wand at Sev again, paralysing him.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” She shouted, drawing her own wand and pointing to Potter and Black. She was losing her patience, and the wary glance the boys gave to her wand showed they remembered how she had hexed Potter the previous week for a similar stunt.

“Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you,” Potter pleaded. She knew he was good too; he had a lot of practice, and would probably be capable of getting one hex past her. But she knew he also had been raised by older parents, who taught them not to hex girls.

“Take the curse off him, then,” she replied. Potter sighed deeply (he had to be so dramatic at everything he did?) and freed Sev.

“There you go,” Potter said, watching Sev fumbling to get up, “you’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-”

The rest of the threat was clear – Lily knew Potter and Black could be downright cruel. It made her crazy. It made the professors crazy. It made anyone on the end of their wands crazy. As Sev was constantly on that position, his hatred for Potter and Black (and Remus and Pettigrew, come to think of it) was well founded, and Lily knew that. She fought for Sev against the bullying.

And that’s why it hurt so much when he did it:

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!” He said what he promised to never say about her.

Lily blinked. Had he just…? It could not be. Not when she was… defending him! She could not believe it!

But he had.

And instead of being transferred, her anger simply doubled – directed at both Potter and Snape now. She registered quickly the shocked look that Potter sported, but quickly shoved it aside.

Mudblood.

“Fine,” she said with the coldest tone she could muster. She could not – would not – cry in front of him, “I won’t bother in the future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.”

Mudblood. Years of friendship, and he still thought this of her. The blood was pounding in her ears, anger stopping her from losing it right then, right there.

“Apologise to Evans!” Potter shouted angrily, pointing his wand at Snape.

Lily snapped.

“I don’t want you to make him apologise,” she screamed. No one should have to make him apologise, much less Potter, “you’re as bad as he is.”

“WHAT?” Potter had the audacity to sound outraged, as if he had not been the one to push Snape to the edge, to make him call her- “I’d NEVER call you a – you-know-what!”

She ignored that he was right – Potter could be a lot of bad things, but blood prejudice was not something he possessed. She just wanted to hurt the people who had hurt her.

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!”

She screamed everything she always had wanted to and even more. Maybe it was uncalled for, since Potter had tried to defend her on the final bit. But she felt her anger diminish, and what came after was hurt and pain and tears.

So she simply ignored Potter calling her name and headed to her dorm, slightly conscious of Mary following her. She was so stupid to care, but she just could not stop caring.

Mary said soothing words and even offered to bring her food from lunch. She thanked, but she had lost her appetite. She arrived at last minute on the practical DADA exam, successfully ignoring the entire student body.

She pretended not to see Remus’s worried glance and Potter’s weird face (was that guilt? Pity? Worry? She did not care at the moment) – she was not fine, and her red eyes showed it. At least she did not see Snape, and she left as quickly as she could.

“So how was it?” Mary asked when she arrived at the dorm, a plate of food on her hands. Lily smiled her thanks – she was a bit hungry, but not enough to go down and eat supper with the rest of the Hogwarts population (which, as aforementioned, she judged to be stupid).

“How was what?” Lily asked, eating some bread.

“The exam!”

“Oh,” she replied with a shrug, “it was fine, I suppose. Guess I’ll get an O.”

Mary shook her head in disbelief.

“Only you could get an O after what happened earlier.”

Lily raised her eyebrows and cleared her throat, while Mary grimaced.

“Sorry, that was rude,” Mary apologised, “wanna talk about it?” She asked, and Lily shrugged in reply. It meant a lot about how great of a friend she was, considering what she thought of Snape.

“It’s just… we argued just the other day, not about this, exactly, but… he was complaining about us not being as friends anymore, and I said that it was because of the company he kept…” Mary nodded. She did not need to be remembered who Snape was friends with, “and he wasn’t actually listening to me, y’know? He was more worried about trashing Potter and the others…”

“Well, there’s history there, Lily. It’s not the first time he complains about James and the rest.”

“I know that. It didn’t surprise me either, and I always overlooked some of the stuff Sev did…” Lily sighed. “Not now, tho. Now he’s crossed the line. I won’t tolerate it anymore. I’m done with him.”

She watched in confusion as Mary grimaced again.

“He’s down there. At the portrait. He wants to talk to you.”

Lily blinked and gaped.

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“I told him that already, I swear I did!” Mary replied. “Well, after giving Potter and Black a good shove so they wouldn’t try anything with Snape… he says he’s gonna sleep outside the portrait hole to wait for you to come out tomorrow.”

Lily sighed. Maybe she should get it over with?

The Common Room was already deserted at the time she put on her robe and decided to end it. She expected not to feel anything, but anger quickly came back when she saw Severus. Her former best friend, now gone to the Dark Arts – excited to join the Death Eaters.

It killed her to know that, but – as she told him – she was tired, so tired of making up excuses for him.

And even when she went back to the Common Room, swearing she would not care about it anymore, the tears could not be stopped. She climbed on a couch and hugged a cushion, keeping her sobs quiet.

She did not know how long she spent there until she heard a noise from the boys’ dorm. Quickly she tried to erase all traces of tears from her face and prepared her glare – if it was Potter…

However, the shadow that accompanied the steps told her it was not Potter – not because she knew Potter’s shadow, but because it did not resemble a human’s shadow in any form. It was a bit pointy on top, and it had… projections on the bottom? What the actual…?

“You said you’d pick the squid over me, so I had to turn into it to leave you with no choice…”

Then the thing came to her vision and could not believe her eyes.

James Bloody Potter had fashioned himself a squid costume, tentacles included! She could see his face where the squid’s eyes should be, and he wore a smirk.

The ridiculousness of the occasion was too much for Lily – she laughed, and hard. For a few minutes she could only laugh, allowing Potter to come closer and stand near her (she figured he was not able to sit, which only made her laugh more).

“You’re so stupid!” She said (also an aforementioned fact). James grinned.

“Well, I think you made that very clear, thank you.”

“Well, you deserved it, so welcome.” Lily shrugged. She did not regret what she said earlier. “What are you doing here, Potter?” Lily asked, with a tired edge on her voice.

“Heard the git had threatened to sleep outside and had to make sure he wouldn’t – well, at least not unscathed, that is…” He replied smirking. Lily sighed.

“Why do you have to be such a toerag?” Lily asked.

“Because some people deserve it.” He replied simply. “Not you, tho. I’m just really stupid around you.”

“You didn’t even know him when you started with him,” Lily remembered him. James raised his eyebrows.

“He insulted Gryffindor. Really, Evans, what else did I need to know?”

Lily decided she would have laughed any other day, but not tonight.

“So you were planning on scaring him on this?” She asked instead, gesturing to his ridiculous outfit. Looking at his face, she noted a distinct blush. What in the world…?

“Well, no. I noticed you were down here and I came to… y’know…” he trailed off. Lily raised her eyebrows.

“Ask me out?” She asked.

“No! Well, yes, a bit. If you say yes, that is.”

“Really, Potter. I’d rather the squid.”

Potter glared.

“I’m a squid. That’s the whole point. Or you only take the giant ones?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows and smirking. Lily blushed at the innuendo and shook her head.

“And you wonder why I keep away from you…” She mumbled. Potter sat beside her (so he could sit!) and sighed.

“Look, actually I wanted to say I’m sorry.” He said. Lily narrowed her eyes. “I mean it. Not for what I did – that git deserves it and more – but because you lost a friend, even a lousy one like Snivellus. He’s rotten company, Evans, and I’d say, ‘I told you so’, but I won’t, because losing a mate’s bad enough.”

Lily was a bit confused and surprised. She considered to pinch herself to make sure she was not dreaming. Potter saying he was sorry for her and Snape’s falling out?

“And you needed to wear… that?” Lily asked in a whisper. Potter smirked.

“Oh, no. This was to make you laugh, which I did.”

Lily could not hold her smile. Had Potter come down to check on her?

“I think I’ll save this, tho. Maybe next term, when you’re free from his greasy and toxic presence you’ll see reason and go out with me…” Potter said, a silly grin on his face.

“Yeah, well, the head’s still too fat for my liking…” she replied with a shrug. Potter laughed and backed away.

“We’ll see, Evans. We’ll see.”

Only years later she would admit to stupid James Potter how much him dressing as that squid had meant to her, which caused him to do it again on the Hallowe’en of 1980, just for her laugh, which lead to some kisses and some moans, and in July of 1981, lead to a new Potter.

But that is a whole different story.

[the-most-faithful]

New day and new discussion with a Snater, this time on Instagram

Snape in canon became a marked Death Eater AFTER finishing school. The only two to receive the mark at 16 still in school were Regulus and Draco. So no he wasn't a Death Eater at the time. He was certainly classist and this is wrong. Did he hang out with Death Eaters? Snape was part of the same house as future Death Eaters sons of Death Eaters yes so what? Did he spend time with them? Sure, not to say but they were the only ones who didn't treat him like a weird kid and bully him.

Defended the use of dark magic? Actually no, he is fascinated by them, but he doesn't justify them. At most it downplays what Mulciber tried to do to Mary which is thought to have been dark magic. And with this? it's wrong? Yes, but Snape didn't do it. He minimize what one of his housemates tried to do, if this makes him a horrible person then we should also use the same mentality for Remus who justifies the bullying of his friends despite never actively taking part in the facts.

The only true thing about this whole comment is that Snape called Lily slur, and we talked about it extensively, nothing justifies it, it was a horrible thing, Snape's worst memory.

Classism is a terrible thing but let me ask you: is calling Lily mudblood bad behaviour, while insult Snape for seven years with a despicable nickname is acceptable? These are double standards.

Nothing, NOTHING justifies bullying. No matter how unpleasant the victim may be, no matter how bad a person he may be.

BULLYING IS ALWAYS WRONG

[amarauder]

chapter nineteen ❥ original

it’s a hate-love thing original version.

james potter x reader.

The Wizarding world has now become increasingly edgy and frightened as Voldemort slowly gained power. His way of gaining power wasn't as quick as Grindelwald's rise; in fact, it was so slow that it almost went unnoticed. But Millicent Bagnold, who was quite a capable Minister of Magic, had the top Aurors on alert at all times. The world was steadily growing darker, with the Marauders and the girls in the midst of it all, waiting anxiously for the day that Voldemort would strike Hogwarts and murder them all.

"Why is everyone so touchy whenever I say Voldemort's name?" said James irritably, as one Hufflepuff shot him a terrified look before scurrying to his common room.

"They're cowards, that's why," replied Sirius matter-of-factly, as they started to head off to Gryffindor Tower. "But then again, even some of the bold Gryffindors say that You-Know-Who rubbish."

"They're afraid the evil git might strike at any second," put in Y/N. "Of course, I don't know how Voldemort could hear you from wherever he is—"

"But that's the point," squeaked Peter. "You don't know where You-Know-Who is, so you must be wary and careful."

"Oh, don't tell me you're saying that stupid You-Know-Who stuff too, Wormtail." Sirius sighed impatiently.

"That's not the problem right now, Padfoot," said Remus hurriedly. "The problem is, Voldemort is after Y/N and James. He can strike at any second. So we can't let y/n and James out of sight until his reign weakens a bit."

"Wait a minute," said y/n. "You want to be our watchdogs? Are you mad, Remus?"

"What's wrong with the idea?"

"Well, first of all, you can't watch us every minute. It's absurdly impossible and stupid. And second of all, Voldemort is going to be after us for the rest of our lives! We can't all share a house until he dies, can we? I mean, he won't stop stalking us and trying to kill us, since he's a very persistent man."

"l/n is right," said James, shaking his head. "We can't have you all watching us and sticking to us like glue. We can take care of ourselves."

"But really, if Voldemort strikes..." Violet trailed off, her eyes widening. "You may as well say good-bye to your lives right now if that's how you're going to be."

"Really," agreed Jennifer. "Vi's right. You guys definitely need protection."

"We don't need you guys bothering with us, though," argued y/n. "We'll have Dumbledore think of something; he always does."

Arabella chewed her lip thoughtfully. "I guess y/n and James are right. I mean, we can't be their protectors forever. I mean, Voldemort might murder us in one curse, and then what'll they do? I call for another plan."

"Don't say You-Know-Who's name!" hissed Peter, looking around with frightened eyes. But no one paid any attention to him.

"Look, mate," said Sirius, sighing with resignation. "What can we do to help, then? I'm not going to sit here and let you face the music on your own!"

"We can handle it, we don't want you to get yourself killed—" began James, but Sirius shook his head vigorously.

"That's the last thing I'll ever think of doing, Prongs. You're my best friend and my best mate. I have to help you, or I'll kill myself thinking about how I let down my best friend."

No one had ever heard Sirius speak so emotionally and beautifully before. They all knew that Sirius was smart and brave, of course, but none of his friends ever knew that strong bond of loyalty inside him that would never break, especially in a time like this.

Arabella grasped y/n's hand tightly. "I'll never let you down either, n/n. If you go down, then I go down."

y/n and James both smiled at their best friends. Arabella and Sirius had no idea how much those words meant to their best friends, whose lives were about to be cut short by a madman. But the warm moment was interrupted when a greasy-haired boy started running toward them.

"POTTER! SET ME RIGHT!"

The Marauders sniggered loudly. James smiled at Snape like he was an old friend.

"Why, Severus, when did you ever have boils all over your face?"

Snape seethed in anger. "Potter, take—these—stupid—boils—off—me."

"Why should I? You're loads better looking now."

y/n felt pity for the poor Slytherin and removed the boils from his face with a flick of her wand.

"Thank you, y/n," said Snape, nodding.

"Why did you do that?" demanded James, after they entered the common room.

"I felt bad for Snape," she replied simply. "Besides, why do you guys bully him anyway? Sure he's a slimy git and I hate him as well, but why must you bother him? Leave him alone!"

"l/n, Snivellus has always had his little beady eyes on the Dark Arts ever since he came to Hogwarts. I'm surprised you don't know this. His family has always been supportive of the Dark Arts."

"Still...that's no reason to bully him," said y/n defensively, though she already knew she was losing the verbal battle.

"No reason? l/n, he's likely to be a Death Eater, for Merlin's sake!"

"He is a Death Eater," corrected Sirius.

Remus and Peter remained silently, staring at their shoes.

"y/n, it's true," said Violet quietly. "Snape's parents used to be my mum's friends, and she used to date Mr. Snape. They've always been on the Dark Side as far as anyone knows; that's why Mum left him for Dad."

"Wait a minute," said Sirius, frowning. "Your mum almost married a Snape?"

"I wouldn't say married..." Violet turned bright pink.

"Oh, Sirius, sod off," snapped Jennifer, coming to her friend's aid. "Mrs. Walker didn't marry Mr. Snape, so what're you complaining about?"

"Can't you leave him alone, though?" asked Y/n. "I mean, he hasn't done anything to you...You don't have to like him, can't you just stop hexing him and playing pranks on him?"

"L/n, that would ruin our reputation!" exclaimed James in horror.

"We are the Marauders, after all," added Sirius.

"Remus? Aren't you going to say something witty about this?"

"I—I don't think hexing Snape is right, but—what can I do?" stammered Remus.

y/n let out a frustrated sigh. "What can you do? Well, you can tell these two immature pricks to stop hexing Snape!"

"Hey, we can still hear you, you know," said Sirius.

"I know. That's why I want you to hear this."

"Oh..." Sirius gasped. "You don't think we're arrogant twits, do you?"

"Sirius, you just described yourself and Potter very well, I must say."

"Flower—you're our friend! Or, at least, my friend."

"Am I?" Y/n pretended to look surprised.

"n/n," scolded Arabella, exasperated.

"Oh, all right, I'm joshing. Still, promise me that you won't jinx or hex Snape unless if it's a life-or-death situation. Or if he hexes you first."

The Marauders looked at each other and shrugged.

"Look, Flower, Prongs is the one who hexes Snivelly," said Sirius, raising an eyebrow. "We don't do anything."

y/n stared at James with an icy gaze. "Well, then, I'll just have to have you promise me."

James stared at her as well, undaunted. "I'm afraid no promise is made, l/n," he replied coldly.

"Ugh! You snobbish git! All you do is bully innocent bystanders around just because you're bored. Do you know how stupid that is?"

"Nope."

"JAMES HENRY POTTER, YOU ARE THE MOST INSUFFERABLE GIT IN THIS WHOLE ENTIRE SCHOOL! CAN YOU JUST STOP HEXING PEOPLE FOR THE FUN OF IT AND BE MATURE FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE?"

The whole common room became deadly silent. Not even a scratching of a quill was heard, as every head turned to where y/n was standing, and breathing harshly. The first years looked absolutely terrified, while the older students grinned at each other, knowing James Potter's fate for getting y/n into her famous redhead temper again.

"Bad luck, Prongs," whispered Sirius.

He didn't respond. Instead, his hazel eyes became glazed as he looked into y/n's eyes. They were flashing dangerously at him and sparkling furiously. For the first time, James realized that y/n l/n was very beautiful. He noticed her long, h/c red hair and her stunning e/c eyes. Why hadn't he noticed her beauty before? That was probably what made him not make a witty or biting comment after Y/n's explosion. He simply stayed silent and continued to gaze at y/n like he had never seen her before.

After a while, y/n felt quite unnerved at James was staring at her intently. What did that stupid prat want from her, staring at her like she was a whole new person? She scowled fiercely at him and frowned, but he continued to look into her brilliant e/c eyes. What was wrong with Potter?

"Potter, stop staring at me," she hissed venomously, as this continued on for quite some time.

Unable to control themselves, their six friends snickered rather loudly. Sirius and Arabella were looking hopefully at the couple, perhaps wishing that they would start pouncing all over each other at any moment. Remus and Jennifer just looked at each other and gave knowing looks, as if they understood exactly what was going on. Violet and Peter just looked at them, waiting for James' answer. It came a few seconds later.

"Why should I?"

She narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean, why should you? I told you to!"

"Yes, l/n, you did. But it's a free country, isn't it?"

"Not quite. It is in the States, however."

"Have you ever been there? I have. It's quite a delightful place, you know."

Their friends (as well as everyone else in the common room) were staring at them, dumbstruck. y/n had just yelled at James for being a prat, James had provoked her by staring at her incessantly, and now they were both having a cool conversation about the States. It was a bit too much for some of the watching Gryffindors.

"Oh, yes, Potter, I have been to the States. I've been to Ellis Island before. Very enjoyable, especially that Statue of Liberty."

"Really? I've been to Hollywood in California. And you should see how huge those Muggle actors' mansions are!"

"Even larger than yours?"

"Considerably larger, I suppose, though it is a difficult comparison."

"Hello?" Sirius was ready to explode as y/n had done. "Why are you guys just having a normal conversation here? You're supposed to yell at each other or something!"

The couple looked at Sirius like he was crazy, which he was, of course.

"Why should we yell at each other?" asked Lily icily.

"Why? Because—because—"

"Oh, Sirius, shut up and let them have their conversation," snapped Arabella, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. "It's quieter this way. Now come ON, you have to help me on my Astronomy homework; you know how hopeless I am at the subject."

"But Bella..."

"NOW, Sirius."

Pouting, he followed his girlfriend to a table where a handful of Gryffindors were studying, though still watching the whole situation in the corner of their eyes.

"What was that about?" wondered y/n aloud.

James shrugged. "Hey, we have weird best friends."

"True."

"Are we actually agreeing on something, l/n, or is it my imagination?"

y/n smiled. "I think, Potter, that we are agreeing on something. Rare occasion, I must admit. This calls for a celebration."

"Unless if you have a prefect's meeting tonight." He raised his eyebrows.

She swore. "Or maybe not."

"Ooh, you have a dirty mouth, l/n." He tutted rather loudly. "No, no, ickle prefects don't say bad words, l/n."

"Oh, sod off."

Y/n sighed, staring at the situation in front of them. James and Snape were glaring menacingly at each other, looking like they were wishing the other nothing but ill will. Snape had hexed James while he was heading for the school grounds, and now the two prats were dueling. Or, at least hexing each other until a teacher was in sight.

"Rictusempra!"

"Tarantallegra!"

"Furnunculus!"

"Petrificus Totalus!"

James' whole body stood stiff as a board and fell onto the ground with a painful crash. Many of the bystanders gasped, and some of the girls started to whimper and cry. They obviously belonged to the James Potter Fan Club.

"Git," muttered Sirius, clenching his knuckles. He quickly went next to James and took his wand out, about to say the counter-curse, but a shriek from the end of the corridor stopped him.

McGonagall was shaking with fury as she glared at the students crowding around the stiff body of James Potter.

"Who—did—this?" she managed to say.

Everyone looked at each other and than pointed accusing fingers at Snape, who was now completely white.

"Mr. Snape, what is the meaning of this?"

"Potter hexed me, Professor, so I returned the favor—"

"No, he didn't, Professor McGonagall!" cried Kevin Sharpe. "Snape hexed Potter first; I saw it myself."

"I see." McGonagall's lips thinned as she glared at everyone in sight. "Well, I suppose you're not lying, Sharpe, since you are the Head Boy, but I do assure you, Mr. Snape, Mr. Potter"—she looked at the two boys—"you will be sent straight to the Headmaster if this ever happens again. Black, put Potter to order again. Good day to you all."

Sirius hurried to James and muttered the counter-curse. James quickly scrambled to his feet and stood up right in front of Snape.

"We'll continue this later, Snivellus," he muttered.

"Do you see, Potter?" nagged y/n, as they headed to the school grounds for a bit of air. "Hexing Snape only causes more trouble; why don't you guys just leave each other alone?"

"I don't know l/n," said James bitterly. "Snape was the one who started it this time. Even you saw what happened. Funny really, though. You never seem to stick up for me, but you stick up for Snape plenty of times."

"Well, that's because—" y/n stopped and realized that James was right; she never did give him a single good word about it and spent the whole time on Snape's side—a Slytherin! How could she be so despicable?

"Yes?" he said icily.

"It's because—because I like you, all right?" she yelled. What am I doing, telling Potter that I like him? I must be out of my mind!

James' eyes widened, and he gaped at her, unable to say anything. The Marauders and girls exchanged knowing looks with each other and surveyed the scene with relish. But Y/n had already run off to the direction of Gryffindor Tower, tears running down her cheeks. He took action at once.

"Y/N!" he cried. "WAIT!"

But she paid no mind to him.

He was running after her, dodging trick staircases and the disapproving tittering from the portraits ("Really, the boy can show some consideration for us!" said one ancient maiden impatiently.)

"Pixie Dust," gasped James, as he reached the portrait hole.

The Fat Lady swung open, admitting entrance. He rushed to the direction of the fifth year girls' dormitory, but found himself slipping to the ground as he tried to climb the staircase. Several girls giggled and pointed at him from the fireplace.

"Potter?" y/n wiped the last of her tears and looked at James apprehensively. "What're you doing here?"

"Looking for you, of course. Look, I think we need to talk—"

A burst of sniggering followed as the girls by the fire started to blush and poke one another. James raised an eyebrow.

"Just what is so funny?" he retorted.

"You just said the four words that any girl or guy is afraid of," supplied one, who was exceptionally calmer than all the rest.

"Oh, sod off," he muttered viciously, and went over to y/n.

"Potter, just forget about what I said, all right?" snapped Y/n.

"But—"

"Forget it."

"I won't! L/n, just listen to me..."

"Look, Potter, I don't like you, all right? I don't know why I ever said I did—"

"But—wait, you don't like me?"

"Of course not! Why else are we arguing here in the common room with other girls as spectators?"

"Then why did you say you liked me back there?"

The girls near them burst into a fit of giggles again. Both fifth years ignored them accordingly and continued their verbal attack.

"I wasn't thinking, Potter, when I said it. All right? Will you just leave me alone?"

"No!"

"And why ever not? I told you I don't like you—what else do you have to say, Potter? Huh? Come on, spit it out!"

"I—" James stopped himself just in time. "Nothing. You're right, l/n, we've nothing to talk about."

Y/n nodded and went back to the dormitory, while James sank into an armchair away from the chattering girls by the fire. He had just realized something very important, and he needed to tell Sirius, Remus, and Peter—wherever they were.

His wish came true when the Marauders and girls bounded into the common room. They gave him questioning looks when Y/n wasn't in sight. James nodded to the direction of their dormitory, and the girls nodded, going up one by one.

"Prongs, you all right, mate?" asked Sirius anxiously.

James looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping on their conversation. "Look, I have something really important to tell you."

"What is it?" said Remus nervously.

"I"—he lowered his tone—"I like Y/n."

The three Marauders' jaws dropped open.

"Are you serious?" whispered Sirius hoarsely.

"No, you are," joked James.

"Really, Prongs."

"I'm dead serious."

Suddenly, Sirius broke into a grin. "See, didn't I tell you? I was right, wasn't I?"

"Padfoot, you really aren't helping," chided Remus. "Prongs, did you realize this just now?"

"Yes, Moony."

"After being so obvious since our first year?"

"Hey, and you told me I wasn't helping!" exclaimed Sirius, pouting.

James grimaced. "Was I that obvious throughout our past years here?"

"Definitely."

"Moony, what am I going to do? Y/n hates me now!"

"She's always hated you," piped up Peter.

"Wormtail, don't try to help either," warned Remus.

"Look, Prongsies"—James twitched at Sirius' nickname—"I've got a plan that will work perfectly. It's called Operation Matchmaker. What'd you think?"

"What's it supposed to do?"

"Get you and Y/n together of course! Or, at least have Y/n like you."

"Which is saying that this Operation Matchmaker is a miracle-maker."

"Exactly, Prongs. Exactly."

"And Sirius, you're not exactly what I would call a 'miracle-worker', so I really doubt this is going to work."

"Look, Prongs, Padfoot may have a point," said Remus earnestly. "I mean, with a little help from the girls...we may just able to get Y/n to soften up to you. After all, you have your moments when she does soften up to you."

James shook his head, staring at his friend. "Moony, I think that Padfoot is corrupting you—really."

He grinned. "Prongs, just listen to us, and we'll think of something, all right?"

"If you can think of something, I'll jump off the London Bridge if you ask me to."

"Really?" squealed Sirius, his face shining. "Would you, Prongsies?"

"Padfoot," said Remus, closing his eyes, "I told you NOT to help. Now go back to sleep. You too, Wormtail. This is a talk between professionals, so no amateurs are allowed."

Sirius pouted again, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Don't do that, Padfoot, you look like a girl," said James, smirking.

"Hey, I'm not the one who likes Y/n L/n!" he shot back, rather loudly.

"You like Y/N L/N, James?" asked Frank Longbottom, looking up from his Herbology homework.

His girlfriend, Alice, broke into a huge grin. "I knew you had it in you, James. Now all you have to do is admit it to her."

"No way in hell am I ever going to do that," insisted James stubbornly.

Frank snorted, and Alice raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Well, why not?" she asked.

"Alice, you don't know L/n very well. She'll think I'm joking, for one thing, and then she'll hex me for trying to trick her. Really, you should've known that already."

"We've seen you and L/n together, James, and we know that you two are meant to be together. She likes you, too."

"Er—Alice? D'you maybe think you can help us solve their problem?" said Remus tentatively.

Alice's smile, if possible, became even wider and more sinister. "Of course, Remus. Anything for my boyfriend's kid friend."

"Hey, I'm fifteen!" said James defensively. "I'm not a little kid!"

"Well, you're sure acting like it," said Frank, now smiling as well. "We'll help, of course. Dad told me to take care of little Jamie for the Potters, anyway. Matchmaking is our professional job."

"Oh?" Remus sounded absolutely delighted. "You're professionals? Excellent!" There was a strange and wild gleam in his eyes, that reminded James and Sirius painfully of Wood and his tyrannical Quidditch practices.

"What happened to that quiet Moony we knew from our first year?" the latter demanded. "You were such a small and innocent creature, Moony. Now you're as sinister and demanding as Wood."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Hey, I really want Y/n and James both to be happy and fulfill their destinies, so I may as well join the Insanity Club."

"Wonderful," said Alice, with that same gleam in her eyes as Remus. "Now...where shall we start?"

"Wait a minute, you want me to WHAT?"

"I want you to compliment her; you know, the usual."

"No, Alice, I don't know."

Alice sighed. "Tell her that her hair is nice or something, or that her eyes look spectacular today. Say something that'll make her day. And don't call her 'l/n', either; call her by her real, given name."

"You're asking for too much, Al," groaned James.

"What's the problem, then?"

"First of all, l/n—"

"Y/n."

"Right, l/n. Anyway, she'll know I'm lying for sure since I've called her  for quite some time a/h/n—"

"You've what?"

"Called her a/h/n," replied James casually.

"James." Alice moaned. "Why did you have to ruin my plan?"

"What did I do?"

"I thought that you and y/n had that sort of love and hate relationship..."

"Al, we don't HAVE a relationship."

"Right, but you get what I mean, don't you? Oh, never mind." She frowned at James' puzzled expression. "My point is, I thought that you and y/n were hesitant friends, and that with a few compliments and bit of flirting, you two would become a couple and live happily ever after. Now that I see it's not the case"—Alice sighed fretfully—"I don't know what to do."

"So l/n and I will be enemies forever?"

"Oh, James, her name is Y/n. Y/n, not L/n. You won't be getting anywhere if you can't at least call her by her first name, not her surname."

"But L/n sounds so much better."

"Oy, Frankie!" called Alice across the common room. "C'mere!"

"Don't call me that, Lisa," mumbled Frank, turning red, as he strolled over to the pair. "It's embarrassing."

"Never mind you. We're having difficulties with my brilliant plan. And don't call me 'Lisa', it's so...ditzy."

"All right, what's wrong?" He completely ignored the last comment.

"Potter doesn't have the—er—healthy relationship I thought he had, with Y/n."

Frank's eyes widened. "You don't mean they—did you-know-what?" he said weakly.

"Oh, no, nothing like that!" exclaimed Alice hastily. "It's just that—ah."

"Ah? That's all you can say?"

"Did you two lovebirds forget about me?" demanded James. "I'm still here, you know."

"James, shut up," ordered Alice. Then she turned to Frank again. "They're natural enemies; they hate each other like Gryffindors hate Slytherins."

"You got that right," muttered James. Alice paid no attention to his comment.

"Look, Frankie, we have to think of a better plan for them to at least be friends."

"You're not friends?" asked Frank curiously.

"Where did you get an idea that we were friends?" asked James incredulously. "L/n loathes me."

"Well, obviously, since you're acting like a total prat right now, James," snapped Alice. "Look, at least call her Y/n. Why do you even like her if you can't call her by her given name?"

Frank sniggered loudly and Alice shot him death daggers.

"Frank, shut up, before I am forced to hex you into oblivion. Then you won't know your own name, and I'll go find another boyfriend that's smarter and hotter than you are!"

Frank shut up immediately, his eyes darting away from Alice and James.

"Oh, but is there another boy that's smarter and hotter than Frank?" queried James innocently.

"James, we've no time to ponder my love life. We're talking about your love life now, unless if you want L/n to hate you for the rest of your life. Now, if the hair compliment doesn't work, try the eye one. She has beautiful eyes; you have to admit that."

"Whatever."

"Bad answer."

"I s'pose. For Merlin's sake, this is even harder than trying to dodge the Killing Curse from Voldemort! Girls are so complicated, I've just realized."

"Aren't they, though?" said Frank heavily. "I share your pain, James. I've had a steady girlfriend for three years, and she's a pain in the—ouch!" Alice swatted him painfully. "What in the name of Merlin was that for?"

"You're talking ill of me, Frankie. I won't have it."

"I thought we were talking about my love life," interrupted James sourly. "Now you guys are having a lover's quarrel again. Sometimes I'm grateful that I'm single, seeing what you couples go through."

Frank and Alice both turned crimson and gave him death glares.

"Well, I s'pose we should be helping little Jamie, Al," agreed Frank, after a while of thought. "But what should we do?"

"Becoming friends first is key," said Alice briskly. "You must be nice to Y/n. I mean, really, what's there to not like about you? Just don't act like a prat, and nothing will go wrong with Operation Matchmaker."

"You took Pad—Sirius' stupid name for this?"

"He did insist, and I must say, even if I am a year older than the brat, his puppy face pout is very irresistible, even with a girl more superior than he."

"All right, Jamie, I will show you professional charm and flirting that Y/n will not be able to resist." Frank grinned.

"Hey, I happen to have very high marks in that area. That's why you find most of the female population at Hogwarts chasing after me with lovesick faces."

"See, James, that's the first thing you have to change," said Alice, rolling her eyes. "Stop with that damn cocky attitude; it aggravates girls that way. Now I see why Y/n can't stand you. You're such a—"

"All right, all right! I'll stop being cocky, or whatever. But mind you, don't kill me or hex me if I let something slip once in a while."

"I won't do anything if your cockiness is occasional, but it better not be often, or else you'll never get Y/n. Number two: you must be polite to her at all times. And change that stupid hexing attitude of yours! I don't like it."

"What hexing attitude?"

"You always hex innocent bystanders—mainly Snape—in the corridors for no particular reason. Care to elaborate on that?"

"They bother me."

"How so?"

"They exist, don't they? That really ticks me off."

Frank laughed, but hastily turned it into a cough just in time.

"James Potter, I now realize why Y/n hates your guts. You're incorrigible, you are. Can't you at least try to change yourself?"

"How, Alice?"

"Oh...I don't know. Be like Frank."

James raised an inquiry eyebrow. "And how will that help?"

"Well, look at it this way, Potter. Frank is every girl's dream boyfriend. He's cute, nice, intelligent, a sweetheart, and a dreamy romantic. Get him to teach you a few of his—er—charms, as he calls it."

"Aww...you really do love me, don't you, Al?" said Frank, wiping imaginary tears from his eyes.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Frank, you will do this job and do this job well. Or I will curse you into oblivion and get a new boyfriend. I'm serious."

"No, you're Alice."

"FRANK!"

"All right, all right, I'll do the job good." Frank smiled and clapped James' back. "Well, James, let's get to work on Operation Matchmaker: Step One."

"Why, Y/n," said James in a sickly sweet tone, "you look absolutely beautiful today! And your eyes are e/c-er than a (Something that is the color of your eyes)—hey!"

Frank snickered. "Hey, I had to put in something humorous!"

"Frank, if you don't give me good stuff, I'll tell on you."

"Oh yeah? How?"

"I'll tell your dad that you've been treating me very badly, and tell Alice that you're not doing your job properly." He grinned smugly.

"Listen, Potter, you don't have that much authority over my father and my girlfriend."

"Oh, don't I? Would you like to find out?"

"NO! All right, I'll give you a good script. But first of all, you have to apologize to Y/n."

"For what? I haven't done a thing to her."

Frank stared at him. "Let's see, Potter, what have you done to Ms. L/n's? Oh, yes; you've called her 'L/n', played pranks on her, and disrespect her as a person and taunt and tease her. That enough?"

"Aww...c'mon, Frankie!"

"Now, James, or you've got no script from me."

"All right, I'm going!"

James walked up to Y/n, who was chatting with Arabella, Jennifer, and Violet by the fire. Halloween had already passed, and winter had come, nearly freezing the Gryffindors.

He took a deep breath. "Look, L/n—y/n, I'm sorry about all those bad things I've ever done to you."

Y/n raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And why the sudden apology?"

"I've just realized that I'm a conceited jerk and that I should improve more," said James quickly.

"Whatever, Potter. I accept your apology. Happy now?"

"Very. Oh, truce?"

"In your dreams, Potter. As if I'm that thick to fall for your stupid pranks."

James sighed and went back to where Frank was patiently awaiting him.

"Well, how'd it go, James?"

"She accepted my apology, but I think L/n only wanted to get me out of her hair. I tried to call a truce, but she told me, 'In your dreams, Potter'."

"Look, James, I think that L/n is right. You should stop hexing people around just for the fun of it. It's low, and it's definitely not what us Gryffindors are known for. Gryffindors are known for their nobility, bravery, and sacrifice—not hexing people around. That's Slytherin stuff. James—listen to me. If you don't stop this ridiculous hexing random people who annoy you, then you'll be going down into Slytherins' level. And they have a bad reputation in this school, if you know what I mean."

"Frank...you know I can never be a Slytherin. That's against my whole family! We Potters have been Gryffindors for as long as Hogwarts has been around. Not a single person has been in another other House."

"Well, I do hope you can keep it that way. I quit, though."

"WHAT? You can't do that!"

"I can, and I will. You're going to have to learn how to respect L/n on your own, buddy. Treat her like you'd treat your own friends...I know how close you four Marauders are. You four are like brothers."

"But she's a girl."

"Then treat 'er like a boy, for Merlin's sake! Don't be so narrow-minded, James."

"Fine! Let's see how you can handle L/n. Go on, then!"

"Potter, I have a girlfriend and I'm not going to lose her," said Frank firmly, glaring at the younger boy.

"Ah, well, that's your loss, then, eh?"

"What loss?" asked Alice, coming toward them. "How's the lesson going, Frankie?"

"I quit."

"You WHAT?"

"I quit, Lisa. Potter should figure this problem out for himself. 'Sides, he won't listen to me at all. Arrogant and proud git."

"Hey!" exclaimed James, pouting.

"Well, James, I'm 'fraid to say that Frank's right; you need to handle this yourself. Maybe your dear friends might give you a hand once in a while, but I think that you need to get Y/n to like you without any help."

"How?"

"First of all, deflate your oversized head!"

"Very clever, Lise," agreed Frank.

"Second of all, stop hexing people for the fun of it!"

"Definitely one to remember, Potter."

"And lastly, respect the girl like who she is, not what other girls are."

"Huh?" said James stupidly, perplexed.

"James, you think of Y/n as just any girl at Hogwarts. Those types of girls are flirty and bi—er—well, you know what I mean. Y/n's not like that. The girls you know may be all over guys, but Y/n's an independent individual who can think for herself and who's strong and free-willed. She doesn't flirt or try to lure guys into bed. So treat her like an individual, and not just a—an idiot girl like Deanna Jackson." She made a face at the very name.

"Well, I treat every girl the same," said James, frowning. "What're you going on about?"

"Treat Y/n differently than how you'd treat other girls. You treat other girls by flirting and complimenting them and receiving giggles and batting eyelashes in return. Well, Y/n and her friends aren't like that, thank Merlin. They're much more mature, and I'm sure that there are many topics that you and her share interest in. Take the issue of Voldemort, for example. You two share that common bond, knowing that Voldemort's after your future child...maybe discuss about the Dark Arts and how to get rid of it in our world."

"How'd you know—?"

"That's beyond the point, James. Discuss Charms with her. Y/n loves Charms, as I hear of from other students. Have her tutor you in the subject. And in return, do the same for her in Transfiguration, as I've also heard that Y/n isn't the greatest at that branch of magic."

"I've tried that before, Alice; L/n refused, since her pride was at stake."

"Ah." Alice smiled widely, her blue eyes lighting up. James and Frank both stared at her, wondering vaguely if she had lost her mind completely.

"What?" the two boys simultaneously asked.

"Ah, I know exactly what this problem is about, James. The problem lies with you...and Y/n. She needs to thaw up to boys, I think. Y/n's definitely dating material, but she hasn't gotten a date before, has she? So you have to know that she feels uncomfortable around boys."

"What're you talking about? She goes fine around Sirius and Remus and Peter—"

"Well, obviously, James, they're her friends! But you see, she does act differently around you, doesn't she?"

"Yeah," said James bitterly, "she hates me."

"She really doesn't. Give her time. Meanwhile, you have to listen to those three things I told you about: deflate, stop hexing, and treat her individually. Got that?"

"Yes, thank you very much, Alice—and Frank."

When the couple left, James sighed and buried his face into his arms. This wasn't going to be easy, for someone as hardheaded as Y/n L/n. But he'd try.

And for the next few days, James tried. But his tries failed one by one, and soon, he forgot all about trying to respect and gain Y/n's friendship and trust, and went back to his own arrogant self. Remus often wondered when James would finally "deflate his head a bit" and stop being the cocky and self-assuring boy that he was.

However, something as big as deflating James' precious ego wasn't too easy. Remus knew that James' bold and cocky personality would change, but he often wondered if it was impossible. His ego was extremely large, yes, but that was what he stood for. He stood for cockiness, boldness, and arrogance. That's what Remus has always known him for best. But under that ego, Remus could also see a frightened, lonely, and uncertain teen, facing the tragedies of dying at the young age of twenty-one years old from a Dark wizard.

The Marauders were certain that James would change. They knew that James really needed someone to guide and love him throughout his days: not them, not his family, but Y/n. Y/n would do the very thing—but only if she'd have him.

Y/n was quite an extraordinary girl. She stood up for other students' rights, even Slytherins like Snape, and did whatever she could to make Hogwarts an enjoyable place for the younger students. However, Little Miss Perfect did have one flaw, and it was being blind when something was there right in front of her. She didn't even blink when James Potter desperately ruffled his hair and played with his Snitch to make her impressed; instead, she started to yell at him for being an egotist. When academics were involved, Y/n understood everything. But when love was involved, Y/n didn't understand a thing and didn't have a clue as to where to start. So whenever love was in front of Y/n, she avoided as far as possible.

Both Y/n and James' friends knew that they had to settle the whole dispute by themselves. They tried every matchmaking method possible, but none seemed to work for this couple. In fact, Arabella suggested to offer someone a handful of Galleons if they could actually get them together. For both were brilliant students; both stubborn; and both blind to love. It really made a horrible collaboration as one, but somehow, fate would allow them to be together and to die together.

Both have had their share of conversations, of course.

"Hey, Moony?" said Sirius one December day. "D'you think it's possible that Y/n and Prongs won't get together and will go their separate ways. And when it does happen—"

"Padfoot, they're going to get together. Prongs just has to work out some priorities."

"I don't know if he can do it by himself."

"Trust me, Padfoot, Prongs is capable. Even though he's not progressing now, I know he will. With the rise of Voldemort terrifying our world, he'll go through such a dramatic change that Y/n will be shocked to see the change in him. Really, it'll happen."

"Oh? And how do you know this, O Prophetic One?"

"Because I know. Listen, Padfoot. Y/n and James are two different people. Y/n's smart, studious, and wise beyond her years. James is arrogant, self-centered, smart, and loving sometimes. As they say, opposites attract. Those two stubborn prats are meant for each other."

And so they were.

tags; @theredheadedwinchester

masterlist

[tarvastries]

Snape the Not-So-Singular Slytherin

Does anyone else feel like there was a certain time in Snape’s grief for Lily where he was viciously happy?

I mean, the Marauders (mainly James and Sirius) had bullied him mercilessly for around 5-6 years. He was always the loser, always sneered at and made fun of, always smelly Snivellus the Slytherin who was treated no better at Hogwarts than he was at home.

So I’m pretty sure that around the time Voldie was defeated by Harry, Snape had a moment of savage glee.

James was dead, although Snape probably felt bad for that because he was Lily’s husband, and Lily was dead too.

Peter Pettigrew was supposedly murdered by Sirius Black, though Pettigrew probably didn’t have as much of a hand in the bullying.

Sirius was (wrongly) deemed mad, convicted of murder, and sent to Azkaban, rotting in a cell with only dementors for company.

Remus found it hard to get a job thanks to the fact he was a werewolf, a condition he never wanted and couldn’t control.

Even years later, when Remus and Snape and Sirius met again in PoA, Snape’s hatred for them led him to have a hand in Sirius’s recapture and “accidentally” tell the school that Remus was a werewolf. He must have felt like finally, they were getting what they deserved. And I understand that.

What I don’t understand is how people say Snape was the best Slytherin, or the had the most tragic death. Severus Snape, a man who was obsessed with a woman he couldn’t have and after her death protected her son only because Harry was his last connection to her. Severus Snape, who dumped all of his loathing and hatred on students like Hermione Granger and Neville Longbottom for years, making one of them fear him more than anything else and the other feel like a loudmouth know-it-all just because she was able to answer his questions. Severus Snape, who made Remus Lupin lose his job because of an old grudge, and who told Sirius Black to his face that he hoped the dementors would suck out his soul. Severus Snape, who people call a hero because he loved Lily Potter until the moment he died, even though he treated her son and husband and friends like garbage.

You know who was a good Slytherin?

Regulus Black, who made all the wrong choices, but stole a Horcrux and replaced it with a fake one when Kreacher revealed how he had been mistreated, who died a teenager in a dark cave, knowing full well what would happen when he drank that potion and reached for the water of the lake.

Andromeda Tonks, who didn’t care about blood status and was disowned by her family for marrying a Muggleborn, who grew up around crippling discrimination, both from those who knew her unpleasant family, and from her family itself, whose daughter ended up fighting and dying in a war against Voldemort, whose husband was senselessly murdered merely because he wasn’t “pure blooded”, who had to raise her grandson because her daughter and son-in-law were dead not long after he was born.

Albus Potter, misunderstood by most, who had a famous father and a famous name and so much pressure to live up to both, who was once ashamed of being a member of Slytherin house, who grew up facing the same stares and murmurs his father did, who had a large family that loved him and cared for him no matter who he chose to be even when he had no idea who he was supposed to be, who was kind and smart and unsure of himself even as a student in the most notoriously poisonous House at Hogwarts.

While Snape’s actions might be seen as honorable, he was never the “best”. The abuse he suffered early in his life and the trials he faced later on can explain his actions, but nothing can ever excuse them. He died terribly, sadly, painfully. But he was not the only one who was lost. He was not the only one who faced Voldemort and lost his life, the only one who lost loved ones in the war, the only one who was singled out for being different.

Severus Snape was selfish and petty, and had a cruelty to him that can’t be swept under the rug. He loved the same woman all his life, and treasured her memory after he was gone. However...

It’s hard to feel bad for a man who invented a curse as a teenager to bleed his enemies dry. It’s hard to feel bad for a man who only cared about stopping Voldemort when it put Lily in harm’s way. It’s hard to feel bad for a man who began to drift to the Dark side even while he was still in school, still friends with a girl who was undoubtedly light. It’s hard to feel bad for a man who mercilessly bullied and undermined his own students.

Snape is not the only “Slytherin hero”, if he’s one at all. So why do we forget about the others?

[readingsoyoucanavoidlife]

Jily through the ages - second year - James

Like the previous year, James was practically filled to the brim with excitement to be going back to Hogwarts. It wasn’t like last year when he was full of anticipation and eagerness to make some of his best memories there just like his parents both had, this year it was the desperation to finally see his three closest friends after a few months of not seeing them. Of course he had seen Peter but it wasn’t the same when the other two weren’t there. James understood why Remus couldn’t come to stay with him even though it was disappointing, but Sirius had been very vague with his excuse. However James did have an inkling as to why his new best friend couldn’t be able to come this summer and James had hoped that Sirius was okay at home from the brief snippets of what he had told James. Although James realised that it would probably be a lot worse now that Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor, which is why he didn’t hesitate to invite Sirius over with every letter that he sent to him. 

When the Potter’s apperated onto the platform, James’ eyes went on instinct over to the official entrance. He recalled that was where he first saw Evans and how excited she seemed to be at even the tiniest of things. Remembering this James took in as much as his surroundings as possible, everything that would be extraordinary to a muggle born. Lost in thought, James almost didn’t realise the annoying, greasy person that was standing near to him. Out of instinct, his face turned into a scowl and he found himself thinking back to all of the things that he and the other Slytherins had been saying about muggle borns and his best friend. How did anyone expect James not to react. That was why the professors had been so lenient with his pranks last year, once they heard his motivation they weren’t keen on giving him a harsh punishment. Besides they were only first years so it wasn’t like he could cause any harm to them, it was more of a fun revenge than a vengeance compared to anything. Although James did have to admit, pulling pranks was fun and he had played a few tricks that weren’t on the Slytherins or out of revenge, and those little ones still proved to be funny. James’ mother cleared her throat behind her son, snapping out of his overflowing thoughts. His mother had always done that when she noticed how James would start to go off in his head and now that the boy was at Hogwarts, his godmother had started doing it. 

James said a familiar goodbye to his parents and boarded the train. He was still wary about Snape and James had lost him through the crowd so he wasn’t able to have a good measure on what he might be up to on this train journey. James was just about to start walking down the train, trying to find his friends when he found himself almost being knocked over from a tackle that he had been on the receiving end of. Once James had regained his balance he was able to see who it was that had nearly swept him off his feet  pushed him over. Much to his delight it was Sirius and more importantly he looked okay, aside from the fact that he was once again in his ridiculous clothes his parents forced him to wear and James was most definitely going to bully him about later. 

When the two boys were able to walk down the train, Sirius recounted his rather unpleasant meeting with Evans and James couldn’t help but laugh much to Sirius’ dismay. It was great to see his best friend again. The boys found that James wasn’t the only one laughing at their friends as when they walked further down the train they saw Emmeline laughing herself silly at the expressions of her friends. James had never been friendly with the girls (well except for Marlene) but they seemed to be on good terms with him and Sirius and didn’t seem to mind the two boys coming into their compartment and starting a heated debate about quidditch (well except for Evans). The marauders and Evans never really had the best relationship and it was mostly due to the fact that she was friends with slimy gits and chose to believe the lies they spread about them. What was being told was based on truth, James would admit that much, but they were half truths and exaggerated to make him and his friends out to be the villain. This never bothered James hugely until now he found. He didn’t like that Evans would look at him with such disgust in her bright emerald eyes. Especially now, when the reflection of her face in the window bore into the back of his head while he was trying to talk about quidditch. A subject by the way he never had trouble talking about until now when Evans was glaring at him with such intensity. James hated how she looked at him like that but he couldn’t understand why, he would have much preferred her to look at him with a smile on her face instead of a scowl much like everyone else did. 

When Lily had kicked out him and Sirius, the boys started trudging down the hall in order to find their two other friends. It was then that James properly reflected on some of the things that Evans had said and why her not liking him bothered him so much. James didn’t care what the Slytherins thought about him or if other people saw him in the same way Evans did, so why was it that she affected him so much? Even after James had been thoroughly distracted by his friends on the journey to Hogwarts, this thought still played in the back of his mind and unfortunately for him it wouldn’t go away.

Much to James’ excitement, this year he was able to try out for the quidditch team. As usual as the players left Hogwarts after 7th year their positions were vacated. Luckily for him, there was a chaser space that had become available. James had always preferred to be at the goal scoring end of the game and he had since he first started playing with his dad and some other wizarding kids. James was never one to be modest so he never denied that he was good at the sport, however he was also raised to be hard working. So during the summer James had entertained himself in training himself to be sufficient enough to get a place on the team. The days leading up to the tryouts made James feel sick to his stomach. Sirius who had been heading down to the pitch with him in the spare evenings that they had reassured him that he could out fly anyone that he was in competition with. Remus and Peter who had less interest in the sport offered reassuring smiles and more than once Peter would try to use his knowledge on the subject to help James improve. Although James already knew everything Peter had told him, he still appreciated the gesture and it did make him feel slightly better to know that he knew his stuff. 

A week had passed after James had gone to the tryout, and James swore that it was the most agonising week of his life. His friends had started to notice his extra pent up nervous energy, the day the results were due to come out James was practically bouncing off the walls. James hadn’t even pulled any pranks this year (except for the one at the welcome feast) to try and further his chances on the team. Sirius didn’t like this decision much but at the look on his best mates face, he dropped the topic and started to make his sulking more dramatic in the way James knew that it was a joke. Sirius had learnt from his first year that James wasn’t good at taking jokes when he was under pressure, if the end of year exams had taught Sirius anything, then it was that. When the long wait was over, James shot into the air and was the first to make it over towards the board where the results had been posted. And of course he made it onto the team. 

The following weeks proved to be weird for James. Since he had been made the newest member on the Gryffindor team he was receiving a lot more attention than he did the previous year. Most of it was good but then there were the threats that had been made to him or the implications that he wasn’t good enough to be on the team, those were the comments that really stung. Sirius had been given more detentions than ever for hexing Slytherins who made threats towards James and of course James would quickly rush to back up his best friend when he also started receiving hexes. This situation started what the boys liked to call the “Evans attack”. She wouldn’t ever point her wand to the boys but her words seemed to make more of a damage than any hex she knew could have. When Lily became aware of what they may have done she made sure she had properly argued with them for it. James didn’t like it when Lily screamed at him, but when she wasn’t screaming they had no interactions at all. So James quickly realised that he would prefer angry Lily than no Lily at all. The only thing that really bugged James about this new routine was the fact that Lily got all her information about him off the Snivellus. Of course that was bound to put him in a bad light and Lily didn’t seem to care that she was getting half truths with no context. James wasn’t so jerk that hexed people for no reason like he was made out to be, but he might as well be since apparently it didn’t matter. 

James struggled with his conflicted feelings towards Lily for several weeks before he realised what it was about her. The realisation dawned on him when he had just come back from a quidditch practice and was walking into the common room with Sirius. All of a sudden James felt an impact on him and due to the shock of it, it almost knocked him over. When James had caught his senses, he heard the number of apologies that came out of the person who he had assumed had just bumped into him. When James looked he was stunned into silence because it wasn’t on a daily basis Evans wouldn’t raise her voice at him but not only that she was actually apologising to him, of course she wasn't looking at him but she was doing it all the same. James could just make out the blush on her cheeks behind her amazing fiery hair, he found it kind of cute. James blinked a few times at the thought that had just crossed his mind. All of a sudden everything started to click into place and he was launched into his descent of falling completely for her. James was also aware of the sniggering next to him that had come from his side and all too quickly the Evans that he knew was back. With the realisation that James had feelings for the girl in front of him, it was fair to say that he was in shock and didn’t fully register anything until she had gone again. When he snapped out of it, he was met with the painful memory of their first meeting on the train a year ago. Sirius noticed his bestfriends change in mood as they sat down on the sofas and James didn’t say anything. After all he had only just figured it out, so he thought Sirius and the others didn’t have to know quite yet.

With all the confusing thoughts about Lily, James tried to focus his attention on Remus. Ever since James and his other best friends had discovered Remus’ secret, they all secretly worried for him. Much like when James had put a ban on pranking leading up to when the quidditch results were announced, he had also placed one around the times of the full moon. Unlike James’ quidditch ban, Sirius didn’t even jokingly complain about this one. James observed that when it came to matters to do with Remus, Sirius was well serious, and he was either an expert on him without even realising it or completely stupid. Fortunately for him this was a time when he was an expert. Earlier in the year the boys had come up with a name for their little group, it meant that they could be more easily referred to and that it was the group that knew about Remus. The young werewolf didn’t know it but his friends had been trying to find a way for them to help him when he was transforming. Every month their friend would come back with more scars and it broke their hearts. They didn’t want him to have to go through this much pain all the time and they had been told that it would only get worse as he got older. Peter, James and Sirius had been researching for a few months on how they could help Remus. When they finally came upon a solution they spent even more sleepless nights researching on how they could accomplish it. 

By the end of the year, the boys had started making progress in their projects. This was when they decided that they should properly tell Remus of their plan. They didn’t want him to know in case it didn’t work and he got his hopes up for nothing. However, so far it seemed to be working and it seemed safe to finally tell him. Well as safe as you could get when you were about to tell someone an idea that you already knew they would absolutely refuse. Eventually Remus did come around, and all four boys left Hogwarts for the second time. Although this time they had a considerable more things on their plates. James had managed to get Sirius to say with him for half of the summer, which half solved one of his problems. The other one was something that he had his friends support on and was partially his idea, therefore James wasn’t too worried about it. However, the last one James found to be the most confusing. Evans had completely taken over his mind and he still hadn’t told his friends about it. James didn’t know what was stopping him but something was. He began to fidget in the seat (like he always had done when he was overthinking or nervous) and as the train moved on James immersed himself in his friends to distract him from all the thoughts that were zooming around his head.

[cliterally-what]

what i wish rowling would write

Year 1

Three dark haired boys sulk inside a Hogwarts express cabin. The only luminescent thing in the room is the girl.

Her hair is fiery red and everyone's eyes swim with worry, except hers are bright green. She has a sour taste in her mouth from her fight with her sister. Looking down at her wand, she realized, maybe I am a freak. She was taking subjects called “Potions” and “Charms” after all.

The young boy’s face next to her looks grim. His long dark greasy hair fell around his hollow face. He already gained his first nickname. It wasn’t a good one.

Across from them sat another boy. His hair curled quite perfectly around his chin and he had a goofy lopsided grin. He sat laid back munching on Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean. To Lily and Severus, he looked without a worry. Only he wasn’t. He sat petrified his family would disown him for not placing in Slytherin, but he knew at the very back of his mind he wanted Gryffindor. But he was also so scared the Sorting Hat would touch his head, would sense his countless generations of pureblood and Slytherin ancestry and cry “Slytherin” without hesitation. He disagreed with his family, but was too young to ever form a proper argument back. He knew one thing though, he liked the boy next to him.

As for the last boy, well he was excited, the only thing that worried him was if his hair was messy enough. He ran his hand through one more time as his knee bounced up and down. He wasn’t good at sitting still.

Year 4

Slughorn tells Snape he should take notes from Lily, even though he was second best in the class. Lily noticed from that day forward he constantly took more notes and even scribbled in the margins of his potions book.

Year 5

It’s year five and everything’s more complicated. OWLs are coming up and Lily can’t think. The knot in her stomach that she usually only feels before a big exam hasn’t left in three months. The knot grows bigger every 4th period when she has stupid Potions. The only class she shares with Severus and James. She can’t think when Severus shoots her daggers for not sitting with him and she can’t think when she hears James’s infuriating voice. Now a days, she can’t decide who she hates more. Severus has been acting so strange recently; at first, Lily thought it was because Professor Slughorn liked her so much. She soon realized he spent most of the class not paying attention at all but rather playing with his own potions set and hurriedly writing things down in his textbook. Normally, Lily would have investigated this matter more, but she was too tired these days.

Slughorn dipped into the Potions closet for a moment and James seized his opportunity to taunt Snape again.

“Snivellus, got dung under your nose again, eh?” James called out.

“Actually mate, I think that’s his natural face!” Sirius chimed in. Severus turned beet red, and mumbled a combination of foul language under his breath, which just made them laugh harder. Infuriated, Severus raised his wand, but lucky for James and Sirius, Slughorn reentered the room.

“Oho, Severus! No need for wands right now,” Slughorn caught his eye on his raised wand. He circled around Severus’s cauldron and exclaimed, “Excellent! One of the best Draught of Peace potions, I’ve seen in a while!”

At this, Severus perked up and scribbled more onto his book. James found it peculiar how he kept writing in his textbook; books were supposed to be kept in pristine condition. He nudged Sirius and directed his eyes in Severus’s direction. No words needed to be spoken for them to understand what to do next.

“Oh well, would you look at the time! Class over! A short six inch essay on Moonstone properties due Friday,” Slughorn announced. The class quickly shuffled towards the door but James and Sirius hung back making sure they’d walk behind Severus. He clutched his potions book under his arm, oblivious to his enemies walking behind him. Once out of the sight from the classroom, James nicked the book out from under his arm and flipped open to a page. Severus looked back wildly and tried to grab it out of James’s hand, but he was too fast. He dodged Severus’s arm and skirted backwards.

Reading off the page, James shouted, “Snivellus, why’d you write turn the potion twice clockwise when it clearly states once counter clockwise? Or crush don’t cut the beetle? Think you’re a hot shot, yeh? Gonna run back home to show your Daddy how smart you are? Oh, right, I forgot he walked out on your greasy arse.”

“Give that back, you arrogant fuck,” Severus fumed, lunging aggressively for the book. Again, James was too fast, and tossed the book over his head to Sirius.

With a casual catch, Sirius opened the book to the front cover and read aloud, “property of the Half-Blood Prince. What the fuck that’s supposed to mean? You’re that stupid you think you’re a prince?”

“Is that what you tell yourself to fall asleep at night?” James laughed, but soon realized Professor Slughorn was coming down the hall. He tossed the book back to Severus and ran off. “Catch you later, Snivellus!”

As Severus’s “friendships” with Avery, Mulciber, and other twisted Slytherins grew stronger, these interactions grew more frequent. James and Sirius despised the lot of them and the dark magic they used. Lily remained torn as ever; she hated Severus’s friends but couldn’t stand to see James and Sirius terrorize him. On a particular sunny day just after OWLs were finished, James lay about under a tree with Remus and Sirius. He lazily played with a snitch, letting it fly away for a moment, then snatching it before it went too far. Spotting Lily walking towards the lake, he quickly sat up and gave his hair an extra rumple.

“Mate, she isn’t paying attention to you,” Remus laughed, noticing his sudden alertness. James looked slightly deflated, but not for long; Avery and Mulciber were also coming down towards the lake with Severus a few strides behind them, trying to keep up. Eventually they sat under a tree across the way from Remus, Sirius, and James. They talked darkly among themselves before Avery and Mulciber sent Severus off. James stopped playing with his snitch, and Sirius began watching too. Severus snuck up behind a group of girls, which James knew to be Hufflepuffs, one of them was a muggle born. It looked as though he had dropped a letter behind the muggle born, then he slowly walked off. In unison, James and Sirius tore off from their seats, catching up with Severus before he made it back to his “friends.”

“Delivered a foul message to Penelope...Does that got anything to do with her being muggle born?” James angrily whispered behind his back. Severus quickly snatched his wand out of his robes and his face went pale. He had not expected to be caught.

“Serves her right, nasty mudblood,” Severus retorted.

Before James could even react, Sirius had already screamed “Scourgify!”. Severus’s mouth suddenly filled with bubbles, choking him. Now, lots of people were watching them, and James instantly noticed Lily was a spectator too. Severus spat the soap out of his mouth and quickly rounded up on Sirius, but James was too quick.

“Petrificus totalus!” Severus body crumpled to the ground frozen. At this, Lily ran over and cried the counter jinx.

“James, you arse!” Lily spat.

“I only did something because he left a fowl letter for Penelope!” James tried to reason.

“Sev, you wouldn’t do that, right?” Lily implored, but by her tone of voice she already knew the answer.

Severus, obviously mortified by James and Sirius’s teasing and the fact that Lily had to save him, spat back “So what if I did? She’s a filthy mudblood just like you.”

Acting unphased, Lily coolly walked away, leaving Sirius and James to continue their bullying.

That was the last time Lily ever considered Severus a friend.

Year 6

Year six holds a lot of surprises for Lily: she and Severus are finished, she witnesses a wizarding war for the first time, and most shocking of all, she realizes James might not be a bullying arrogant toerag after all.  

Sixth year potions proved difficult as ever. Much more talented in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, James desperately needed help. After pleading Lily the first two weeks of the school year, she finally agreed to tutor him on the condition that he would stop playing with his hair. They spent Monday and Wednesday nights together, couped up in the common room or library. Their meetings always started on track and James would actually act very studious. By the end however, the conversation had strayed from Potions but to Quidditch or the latest gossip, and they usually ended up in bouts of laughter. Lily enjoyed the conversations about the war the most though. She found it refreshing to hear James be serious and she found it hopeful to hear his thoughtful and brave insight about the war. To Lily’s dismary, she soon discovered how much she actually enjoyed his presence, but of course she wouldn’t admit that to anyone. He never stopped playing with his hair, but she began to notice how attractive she found him, especially with his hair messy. That secret would be taken to the grave.

Their Potions lessons turned into Lily sitting with James and his friends in all of the classes they shared and even hanging out after class. With Lily’s newfound respect for James, Sirius’s came too. Remus, of course, she had always admired. She found it an escape to hang out with the Marauders, they were fully aware of the horrors outside the castle, but they never seemed to stop their laughter and practical jokes. As some of the cruelty leaked into Hogwarts (always stemming from Severus or other Slytherins), Lily began to understand James hatred of Severus. Of course, his bullying was always extreme and she knew Severus struggled with fitting in. Lily had noticed that James’s teasing had subsided; it was if now that they were friends, he wouldn’t dare do anything to piss her off.

One evening, James left his Defense Against the Dark Arts research essay to the last minute, forcing him to spend his night under his invisibility cloak in the library. Finally at one o’clock, he sleepily made his way back to the Gryffindor common room. The Fat Lady swore at him for waking her up so late, but as her portrait swung upon, James heard faint crying coming from the common room. The crying grew louder as his walked through the tunnel. He stood at the end unsure if he should remove his invisibility cloak, but when he noticed the red hair alone by the fire he quickly slipped it off.

“Lily...er...are you alright?” James asked awkwardly.

Lily jumped and quickly wiped her eyes. Taking a moment to compose herself, she threw aside the letter she was holding, then spoke, “James! You scared me. What are you doing outside the common room so late?”

“Oh, I had an essay I had to finish up” he paused, unsure whether he should mention her crying, “but are you alright, what’s going on?” he finished, approaching the fire.

“Oh, nothing, it’s a bit stupid actually, I just--” Lily erupted in tears again, unable to finish her sentence. James now felt extremely uncomfortable, but he sat down on the floor next to her. He started rubbing her back, and caught a glance at the letter that was in her lap. Giving her a look, she nodded with approval, as he picked it up and read it to himself. It was from her sister. She said lots of foul things like how Lily was a freak, an attention slag, and that she didn’t believe a word about this “war.”

“Wow, your sister sounds like a lovely human,” James tried to laugh. To his surprise though, Lily managed a small smile and her sobs calmed a bit.

“She’s a-ac-actually amazing, but she’s always hated me for b-being a witch when she isn’t. I wrote her and my p-parent’s trying to explain the war,” Lily sniffled, then paused to cry a bit more. “My p-parents believed me, of course, but Petunia thinks I’m lying, and that I’m just trying to get attention. I’ve gotten past that her jealousy will always make her foul t-towards me, but I’m so scared that they’ll be V-Voldemort’s next muggle victims. I try to not act like I’m scared for myself, b-but its hard to deny that being muggle born doesn’t bode well these days. I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m t-terrified, James.”

There was something about the way Lily said James’s name, that he knew Lily truly cared about him. He comforted and chatted with her until two, before the both of them agreed they must get some rest. As they went towards their separate staircases, James found his heart a blaze inside his chest, but most shocking of all, Lily’s heart glowed too.

With springtime finally among Hogwarts, the students spent much of their days outside and the sunlight significantly benefited everyone’s mood. The fifth years, unfortunately, looked miserable as ever with OWLs approaching. Lily and the Marauders couldn’t be happier they had already gone through that hell. Of course, James liked to rub that fact into into the struggling fifth years. Looking arrogant as ever, he casually played with his snitch and deliberately asked loudly “Don’t you just love how little work we’ve got right now? Man, I truly can’t think of anything worse than those OWLs last year,” when passing a group of studying fifth years.

“You’re a real git, you know?” Lily scoffed.

“Doesn’t stop you from hanging out with me.”

“It did for five years and if you keep it up, I might leave you high and dry again.”

“She’s got a point you know, if you weren’t such a mangy arse people might actually like you,” Remus chimed in.

James and Lily spent many days like that, sitting by the lake under their favorite tree. Sometimes their friends accompanied them, and Lily found herself becoming increasingly fond of each of them. She's always been Remus's friend, but after all these years she thinks she might understand how Remus has tolerated James and Sirius for so long.

Year 7

Hogwarts is strange. Everyone knows the horrors that are happening outside the castle walls, but nobody acknowledges it. People talk in hushed voices in the corner of the library or the common room with worry plaguing their faces. Lily spends most of her time with James, Remus, and Sirius. After a particularly gloomy week James and Sirius decided to throw a party Friday night. They mysteriously disappeared sixth block and came back with their rucksack bulging in seventh period. Remus gave them an angry glare and Lily tells them “You’re a fucking moron, you know? Coming to class with that.” Perhaps they were right but James and Sirius knew Professor Binns wouldn’t notice a thing. After escaping History of Magic, they all hurried back to their dormitories. They piled into James’s room since Head Boy gave him a private dorm and boys weren’t allowed in girls rooms. James and Sirius dumped their treasures all over the bed.

“So, are you going to tell us what this is all about?” Lily said, pointing the pile of Butterbeers, Firewhiskey, and cheap goblets.

“Yeah, we’re throwing a party tonight.” Sirius replied.

“Things have been looking a little dim around here to say the least, we thought this might lighten the mood,” James added on.

“You’re mad! Where would this even happen?” Remus inquired, looking rather uncomfortable. His friends made many stupid decisions but this one took the cake.

“Well, the common room of course!” Sirius laughed.

“Absolutely not, what if McGonagall hears? We’d all be done for!” Lily felt rather nervous about this whole idea and she wasn’t willing to give up Head Girl just one month into the school year.

“I think you’re just worried you can’t keep up with me Evans” James taunted.

“Oh, bugger off.”

Despite many protests from Lily and Remus and silencing charms cast around the common room doors, they all found them self gathered in the common room at eleven.

Sirius had already found Marlene and was dancing foolishly on top of the coffee table trying to impress her.

Lily stood near the table chatting with Mary and Alice before James came over and dragged her to the corner.

“I brought you a drink,” Lily could smell the alcohol on his breath as he spoke. “Remus looks as if he’s about to shit himself,” James continued, laughing at Remus’s direction. “Having fun yet, Evans?”

Lily laughed and took a sip of her Firewhisky and James’s hand found a place on her waist. Her insides burned and she can’t tell if it’s the whiskey or his touch. She wished she could stay there with him the whole night and she wished she could tell him this, but instead she said “C’mon let’s go loosen Remus up.” James wants to tell Lily that he loves her cherry pink lip gloss or the way her hair falls when she’s hunched over a book or the fierce look she gets when she yells at Mulciber or the way she looks curled up on the sofa or just simply that he loves her. But instead they stare at each other for a moment longer, remaining silent.

They get Remus drunk and everyone’s happy. Sirius, James, and Remus put on a three man act for the party to see. When Sirius dares James to turn into his animagus, he almost does but Remus reminds them it’s a secret and they’d be expelled. Lily, Sirius, and Marlene had a competition about who can name every student McGonagall has given detention to in the last month. Marlene won and Sirius kissed her. For a couple hours everything was blissful, but then William saw them kissing and he called her a stupid slag. Marlene cried and Mary threw up and James’s heart felt like it was going to explode if he doesn’t tell Lily this moment that he loves her but it's all okay. Because the common room is warm and for a brief moment everyone has forgotten about the war outside.

The next morning, they all woke up feeling a little worse than they did the morning before but nonetheless content. At breakfast, they ignored their mountain of homework, instead recounting all of the fun they had the night before. Everyone's smile quickly disappears when the owls come, knowing the Daily Prophet brought nothing but bad news these days. Sure enough, the front page contained a list of Voldemort's latest victims, all muggles, muggleborns, or well known "blood traitors." Lily’s heart sank and horrible thoughts swarmed her mind. James removed the newspaper from her hands and tried to give her a warm smile.

On Thursday afternoons, James gives Lily flying lessons since she never learned properly. They spend most of the time in fits of giggles arguing over who’s a bigger prat, James for being so arrogant or Lily for being so incompetent.

“Well, I actually think I got better today!” Lily exclaimed, touching down on the ground after a surprisingly successful lesson.

“Great! Now you can finally thank me for being such an excellent teacher.” James hovered four feet off the ground circling around Lily, just to prove his broom control.

“Oh, come off it. Half the time you just laughed at me!” Suddenly, the sky erupted and buckets of rain fell from the clouds. “Merlin’s beard! C’mon James lets go!” He quickly hopped off his broom, grabbed Lily’s hand, and sprinted towards the Quidditch locker room. Gasping, they finally made it inside. Taking their time to catch their breath, they hardly realized they were still holding hands, until the panting stopped. With the silence, Lily found herself feeling awkward about it, but at the same time she didn’t want to let go.

“Well this is just an absolute mess.” Lily said to fill the silence, pointing down at their drenched clothes. “I’ve got mud everywhere!”

“Yeah, its a real shame seeing your shirt stuck to you like that…”

Lily slapped James, but she couldn’t help but blush. Her laughter faded and everything seemed rather serious.

They were still holding hands.

Lily became quite aware of how close they were and watched as James eyes dropped when she licked a raindrop off her lips.

All at once, James’s lips crashed onto Lily’s and they melted into each other. She forgot about the rain and the mud or whether or not they would survive once leaving Hogwarts. With sudden clarity, she understood everything. She understood that she didn’t have to understand anything, because she was his and he was hers.

And together, they’d be okay.

[naireides]

to count the stars

seven times james and lily meet on the train, and one time they don’t

ie, this is me skewing the jily week day 1 prompts a bit because i am the trashiest of trash.

ao3

i.

It’s a bleak September morning the first time she sets foot on the Hogwarts Express.

Lily sniffles, glancing over her shoulder, not at her parents whose grins were so wide that she feared it would split their faces, but at her sister, her Tuney, who pouted and frowned and whose eyes had a strange sheen over it. She’s only seen it a few times, when they got into fights that lead to broken dolls or hair tugging.

Petunia Evans was a cold type of sadness. She would pout and sulk and her lip would quiver, but she would never, ever cry.

Lily was the opposite. She was an explosion of feeling, a forest fire too big for her body that left its confines in wet, noisy sobs that had the whole house shaking.

A lone tear made it’s way down her sister’s cheek and she was ready to jump off the train and back to her if it meant stopping the impossible.

Sev pressed a hand to her shoulder, a steadying force. “Let’s go find a compartment,” he mutters, and she finally tears her eyes away, looking ahead instead.

They do find one eventually, only to be interrupted by some Potter and Black. Her bottom lip curls at the thought of them, and the anger is acidic in her throat. They’re bullies, terrible and mean and ragging on her friend, and she wants to do something- tell them off, cast a spell, throw a punch- but instead she just stands.

Her voice is cold when she speaks, and poison coats her tongue. “Come on Sev,” she sniffs, standing up, “Let’s go find a new compartment.”

-

ii.

Lily is still dabbing at her eyes when James Potter finds her, and she doesn’t quite growl, but comes close to it, messily swiping away the rest of her tears. Petunia didn’t even bother to come this time to see her off.

“Wotcher, Evans,” he says, flashing her that crooked grin.

“Potter,” she says evenly.

“Where’s Snape?”

“Around.”

“Ah, too bad,” he says, stretching his hands out, “I was hoping to have some fun before the sweets trolley passed.”

Lily scoffs at him, grabbing her bag. “I hope you choke on a licorice wand,” she says sweetly, her anger bubbling just beneath the surface as she stalks out of the compartment.

-

iii.

They get ambushed by Potter and Black almost immediately, Remus and Peter lagging behind.

“Had a nice summer, Snivellus?” Black sneers, while Potter tries to grab hold of his bag.

Lily elbows him in the gut and pulls her wand.

“What?” she asks easily, twirling it between her fingers. All four of took a step back, hesitating, when she grabs it, “Afraid of a little girl with a wand?”

“Nah,” says Potter, sauntering forward, “A little girl with a wand can’t scare me. Lily Evans with a wand on the other hand-”

He doesn’t get to finish the rest of his sentence, for she casts a bat bogey hex on them. It lands her in detention the second night back, but she doesn’t find herself being regretful, not when she can still hear Black’s shrill scream ringing in her ears.

-

iv.

Severus disappears as soon as they arrive on the platform. She doesn’t really find it in herself to care that much, not when Marlene and they find her almost immediately, linking arms and chatting about their respective summers all the way to their usual compartment.

They’re already inside, door still wide open as they listen to Mary recount her trip to France, when James and they show up.

His eyes immediately fall on Lily, sprawled out across and entire seat for herself.

“Evans! Long time, no see. How are-”

He doesn’t get to finish the rest of the sentence as she jackknifes off the chair and slams the door in his face, locking it too.

“That was rude,” he says, voice warped through the glass.

“Piss off, Potter!” she yells back in turn, and all the girls collapse on top one another, laughing until their sides hurt.

-

v.

“Oi Evans!”

She doesn’t turn around at the call of her name; in fact, she walks faster, but James has always been long and lanky and could cover three of her strides in the span of one.

“Potter,” she grudgingly acknowledges when he finally sidles up beside her.

“How was summer?”

“Fine, I guess,” she says with a one shouldered shrug. And then, only because it’s polite, she tacks on, “Yours?”

She expects the same brush off type response from him, but instead, James Potter regales her with tales of quidditch matches and laboratory experiments, visits to see the Iron Belly dragons in person and the trips to Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. It’s a lot, and she doesn’t realise that she’s actually listening to what he’s saying until he comes to an abrupt stop, almost causing her to run into him.

“Sorry,” he says, ruffling his hair. There’s a faint splash of pink across his cheeks, and she bites the inside of her cheek to stop from smiling. He jerks his head at the compartment door. “Mary and and they are in there.”

“Oh,” she says, “Er, thanks.”

“No worries.”

“Right then.”

“I’ll talk to you later then? After the feast? I have some books you might like to borrow on the iron bellies and uses of dragon blood in potions.”

This time she doesn’t try to hide her smile. “Thanks Potter.”

He ducks his head, grinning. “Like I said, not a problem.” He turns on his heel to leave and manages to get three steps before glancing back at her. “Oh, almost forgot. Congrats on being made prefect.”

The little badge is still in her coat pocket, hidden away, but she doesn’t ask how he knows. Instead she flashes him another small smile and a quiet ‘thanks.’

“S’later Evans,” he says, this time leaving for good with a wave over his shoulder.

-

vi.

Lily is by herself this time as she arrives on the platform. She boards the train by herself too, taking care to hurry and find a compartment before anyone spots her. She’s incredibly early- there’s still more than a half hour to go- but she wanted to leave before she said something to her sister that she might regret.

Surprisingly, the marauders are there already, and she almost doubles back before they spot her.

James glances up, just looking at her for a moment before he says, “Evans?” in a tentative voice.

She doesn’t even bother to respond, the hurt still there, stinging at her eyes even three months later.

-

vii.

“You are absolute rubbish at writing letters, do you know that?”

Lily ducks her head, grinning. “Hi Potter, how was your summer? Mines was well, thanks for asking.”

She dances out of the way before he can swipe at her braid.

“You damn well know how my summer was, Evans,” he says, falling into step with her. He’s already wearing his Head Boy badge on his jumper, and it gleams in the sunlight. “I actually write to you about it.”

“Ah yes. The veritable essays you send me on a bi-weekly basis.”

“It’s not my fault that my life is ten times more interesting and enriching than yours,” he sniffs. She grins when she hip checks him, sticking her tongue out when he stumbles a bit and tosses a baleful glare her way.

“I’m sorry, enriching? Weren’t you trying to convince your house elves to play quidditch?”

“They made a mighty fine quidditch team under my tutelage, I’ll have you know.”

She makes a choking sound. “Sorry, your massive ego is crushing me a bit here mate; would you mind-”

The rest of her sentence is cut off by a shriek when James’ hand darts out, faster than she thought possible, and mercilessly tickles her sides.

He’s still going at it, leaving her breathless on the floor, begging him to stop when Sirius walks in, eyebrow hitched as he smirks at their tangled, sweaty forms on the floor.

“Now, now. There are children on this train, surely I don’t have to remind the Head Boy and Girl of that?”

“Fuck off, Sirius,” they say together in unison, Lily going as far as to throw her shoe at him.

-

+i.

“I cannot believe you transfigured a turkey into an actual lion at the end of year feast.”

James grins crookedly down at her, and just pulls her closer to his side. “See, your tone suggests that I’m a prat, but your words are telling me that you’re mighty impressed with my wand work.”

“Please don’t use the words ‘wand work.’ We’re in public.”

“You’re the one making it dirty, Evans. For shame.”

Lily nudges him with her shoulder, smiling wide. “Oh please; you love it.”

His crooked grin softens along the edges, and he cups her jaw, tilting her face up.

“I love you,” he murmurs softly, nose brushing against hers before he kisses her, sweet and slow and perfect.

Of course, things can never stay perfect for long, as Sirius roughly bumps into them, pretending to throw up.

“Hate to break up the lovefest- actually, no, I don’t, you two are fucking nauseating- but we have a train to catch,” he says, tugging on Lily’s hair, “Hurry along now. You can eat each other’s faces off in an empty compartment on the train.”

“You’re a prat.”

“Nah, he’s just jealous,” Lily smirks, “Don’t worry, Sirius, I could kiss you too.”

He throws her a disgusted look and she laughs. “Please don’t,” he says, “Now come on. You guys have time for this later.”

James’ hand slips into hers and she glances up at him, eyes softening. “Yeah,” she says, squeezing it, “Yeah, we have time.”