#anyone ever counted how many solo films he made?

[tbyfandoms]

Invisible String | Austin Butler x Reader

Pairing : austin butler x actress!reader

Word Count: 11.6k

Summary: y/n and austin have known each other for years. each harbors feelings for the other yet they remain clueless to it until an accidental slip up from austin leads to a series of events that reveals just how destined for each other they've always been (requested)

Warnings: mild swearing

Masterlist/Request Form | Ask/Tell/Request

A/N: when i got this request, i knew immediately i had to write it. i adore the thought of soulmates and second chance romance and this request was perfect for that. i loved writing this story full of these two completely missing the signs they’re supposed to be together, and i hope you love reading it just as much. it is dialogue centered, so a lot of explaining and talking is done (hence the word count) and i just wanted to give ya’ll a little warning! Make sure to keep track of who’s saying what. I feel like I’ve structured it in a way that makes it easier, but still. anyways, to the user who requested this, thank you and i hope you like it! :)

psa: i tweaked dates of when certain interviews came out and what happened during them. also kaia and austin aren’t dating in this. all for the sake of the fic, but i just wanted to say something about it in case anyone gets confused!

Fourteen years ago

“So-uh, was that-was that okay?” Austin reaches up and scratches the back of his neck. The blush on his cheeks is evident, even under the grime the makeup artists have piled on his face. The sight makes you giggle, leaving the boy’s cheeks to flush deeper.

“It was more than okay,” you reply, your voice dropping to a whisper. “It was perfect.”

The blonde gives you a lopsided grin and you can’t help but to give one in return, feeling like you’re floating. You and Austin have just finished your final solo scene together for the film Aliens in the Attic. The two of you are love interests; you playing the best friend of the character Bethany, and Austin playing her cousin.

To say the role was a bit of a challenge is an understatement. It’s not that you couldn’t remember your lines or you were suffering from stage fright, it was that you didn’t know how to act around Austin. The moment you got introduced to the boy, you knew you were done for. He was, is, charming and funny and beyond attractive. The two of you are both still teenagers. You’re not sure about him, but for you at least, you haven’t dealt with a whole lot of crushes or relationships yet. So it was a bit difficult to deal with more or less.

It’s like every time you would go to shoot a scene with him, your brain would short circuit and your pulse would jump higher than you thought it could. It didn’t help at all that he was so nice to you and did whatever he could to make you laugh in between takes.

The days leading up to your final scene alone with him—the kissing scene—you were a wreck. Both excitement and nerves coursing through your veins. You figured it was merely a little on the job attraction, of course you'd feel something for the person playing your love interest. You completely ignored the true feelings planting roots in your heart, as was a certain blonde companion.

Lips still tingling with warmth, you try to subtly lift your fingers to them, grazing over the slightly swollen skin. You watch as Austin takes his bottom lip between his teeth, still looking nervous as ever.

It's undeniable—the connection between the two of you. Although you haven't been filming for long, it took practically no time for you and Austin to become close. There was something about him you couldn't get over and he felt the same way about you.

Days and nights were filled with endless laughter and conversations you felt like you couldn't talk about with many other people. He made you feel special, seen. You can't believe it's all over now.

"Hey-" you both speak at the same time, simultaneously realizing you can't bear to let it all end like this.

The two of you laugh; Austin's blue eyes—that noticeably light up every time they spot you—shift to the floor for a second over his awkwardness. No matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to keep his cool around you.

"You first," you say, tilting your head to try and catch his eye again. Looking up from under the curls of his sandy blonde hair, Austin takes a breath before he goes to speak again.

"Would you um-." His voice gives a little and you have to hold back your smile at how nervous and unsure of himself he seems. The thought that maybe he's acting like this over you sends your heart into overdrive. Clearing his throat the boy continues, "Would you want to go-"

"There you guys are! You two lovebirds killed it! For a second I thought it was real!" Ashley comes up to you and Austin, wrapping her arms around you both while she laughs. You swear you couldn't love Ashley Tisdale any more than you already do, but God did she have bad timing.

Your eyes meet Austin's across from the girl and there's evidently something unspoken there between you. Was he going to ask you out? Was this more than just an innocent little crush?

"Thanks, Ash, glad it was believable!" The two of you laugh together, but you can't help the pull towards Austin, to get back to that conversation and find out what his next words were going to be.

Ashley instantly knows something's happened, she was always good with stuff like that. "Did I interrupt something?" She looks between the two of you, trying to grasp what it is she walked in on, but you're not even completely sure what it is.

"No, nothing at all," Austin says, barely looking at you now. You shake off the feeling of the tiny pang in your chest. "I was just gonna see if Y/N wanted to go hit up the snack table one last time, and now that you're here, we can all go together!"

Ashley doesn't believe it for a second, especially with the look on your face, she can tell there's more to the story. While the three of you walk over to the refreshments, Ashley holds herself back from butting in. It's too bad she did and that she's the only one who can see through Austin's lie. If she would’ve said something or if you would've noticed, maybe things would've been different. Maybe it would've been you on his arm a few years later instead of Vanessa Hudgens...

Present day

The memories of that final filming day swarm your mind as you sit with your jaw dropped to the floor while staring at the tv in front of you.

It took ten seconds, ten seconds, for your buried feelings for Austin Butler to come bubbling back to the surface.

And it’s all his fault.

Curse you finally having a night off to sit and watch television, curse James Corden for creating games that make people spill their secrets, and curse Austin Butler for causing your feelings for him you thought you buried long ago to claw their way out again.

He could’ve lied. You’re sure there are tons of guests who have lied on The Late Late Show to get out of embarrassment or scrutiny, and Austin definitely could have. There is no way what he said is true, no way.

But why you? Why say your name out of hundreds of others. When James pressed for who his celebrity crush is, why did your name come up first?

The blush on Austin's face is clear as day, even through the screen. He's fidgety and chuckling as he rubs the back of his neck, the audience 'ooo'ing at his confession. The sight is all too familiar.

Your mind reels over what's happened. You're shocked but you also can't help the tiny feeling of giddiness that's making your stomach flutter. Brushing your hand over your face, you grumble at the warmth of your cheeks.

Damn this man and his affect on you. It's been fourteen years, fourteen, since you've seen him in person, since you've talked practically. And yet he still makes you feel just like you did on that movie set; jumbled, nervous, and smitten.

After filming wrapped on Aliens in the Attic, you got a job offer you couldn't refuse. You moved to a different country to begin filming a show you never thought you'd get even a supporting role in, let alone the lead.

That role set you for life, it was a fan favorite, but it took up practically every aspect of your existence. Sure you were able to come back home to visit family and friends once in a while, but those visits were few and far between. To even think about meeting up with Austin was out of the question. It just wasn’t in the cards as far as you could tell, especially when he was attached at the hip with his girlfriend or off filming his own roles. Even if you could’ve met up with him, the fact you couldn't admit those feelings you had for him would’ve crushed you. You couldn’t bear the weight of keeping those feelings hidden while he fell so deeply in love with another woman.

When your show wrapped, only needing a few seasons to tell the creator's full story, you figured it was back to square one; time to go home and face everything, but that was so far from what happened. That leading role was a once in the lifetime opportunity and it boosted your career to a height you could've only dreamed of. Due to the popularity of the show and your evident acting chops, you were on every casting director's radar from then on.

You booked movies with franchises like Marvel, Godzilla, and even Star Wars. The offers poured in from every angle, and majority of them you graciously accepted. To say you were nonstop busy for years would be an understatement. You barely even had time to think about Austin anymore, and to be honest you wouldn’t allow yourself to anyways.

He never admitted any feelings in the short months you stayed in contact over the phone after Aliens in the Attic wrapped, and even if he did have any, he clearly moved on. You took it as a sign to cut your losses, shake the feeling that he felt the same about you, no matter how much it hurt.

Still, It's crazy to think about how long it's been since you've talked to Austin. The both of you had such a strong bond, one you have yet to find with another. It blows your mind how easy it was to sever something so special.

Breaking you out of your thoughts, your phone starts rattling on the table before you. Picking up the device, there's a name across the top of the screen that you're not totally surprised to see; Ashley Tisdale.

"Ash-" You're cut off immediately, Ashley's voice rapidly spilling from the speakers.

"Y/N! Oh my god, girl, are you seeing this!?" There could be a million things your best friend of over a decade could be talking about, but you know instantly what she's referring to. What else is there, really?

"I have yet to pick my jaw back up off the floor." Ashley laughs and you can practically see her now; standing in her living room, probably holding Jupiter on her hip as she paces back and forth in front of the tv. It's hard to keep her still when she's excited. Ashley that is, not Jupiter.

"So what are you gonna do about it? You’re gonna reach out to him, right?” Your eyes widen instantly at Ashley’s questions, the idea seeming absurd to you.

“What!? No, no way! Ash, you know how long it’s been since I’ve spoken to him! That’s out of the question. There’s no shot I’m gonna call him up and say, ‘Hey saw you on tv saying you had a crush on me! Wanna hook up?’ Absolutely not!” The blonde’s laugh cuts through your phone speakers and the sound makes you smile, even with the present state of disbelief you’re in.

“I mean, it could work! He’s a simple guy,” she teases, and you roll your eyes even though she can’t see you. “In all seriousness, though, this is a big deal. I know Austin and he wouldn’t just say something like that and not mean it, no matter how nervous he was.”

You let that roll around in your head for a second. It makes sense and Ashley would know better than anyone, she is his best friend for God’s sake. But still, it just doesn’t seem right to you, it’s too out of the blue.

In reality, it’s your fear of being hurt again, of once again thinking falsely about how someone—how Austin—feels about you that’s preventing you from letting this be something positive.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just stuck on the fact it’s happening now. Why after all this time? It’s been fourteen years, Ashley.” Your voice is timid and your friend can tell even over the phone that you’re scared, even if you won’t admit it. She decides now is the time to let it all out, if only for your sake. It’s better late than never.

“Y/N/N, I have to tell you something.” The sentence makes your throat go dry. As if anything else could happen tonight. You clear your throat and urge your friend to continue.

“What is it?”

“When we were wrapping Aliens, do you remember when I came up to you and Austin after your final scene together? After your kiss?” Your blood runs cold. As if you hadn’t just been thinking about that memory.

“Yeah, what about it?” You’re confused and anxious. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it is, at least for you. Because it’s not just some guy or just some crush. It’s Austin, the guy you can honestly say now that you were falling in love with all those years ago. The guy who made you laugh and feel special in a way that no one’s ever been able to replicate. To think you missed something, to think maybe there could’ve been a chance, sends you reeling.

“When I walked up to you I could tell I interrupted something. I think the whole time we were filming I knew there was something happening between you both but I never said anything because I didn’t want to make things awkward for you. I knew when Austin asked if we wanted to go get snacks that he was lying. We may not have known each other for that long at that point, but he was so easy to read it was ridiculous he even tried hiding what he really wanted.” You wince at that, but keep quiet. You wish you could’ve been able to read him that easily, maybe things would’ve been different.

“I never asked him about it, but I think it was two years after that when he admitted everything to me on his own. You were off filming your show and Austin and Vanessa were just starting to get serious. We were hanging out like we always do, we had a couple drinks, and were trying to find a movie when suddenly Aliens in the Attic came on! We watched it just for shits and giggles but then the ending came when you guys kiss and I could tell Austin wanted to talk about something. I paused the movie and turned to him and took one look in his eyes and knew I was right about the two of you before he even said anything.

“He liked you, babe. Like really, truly liked you. He didn’t say it but I think it was more like loved you. You should’ve heard the way he talked about you, about what it was like between you both. I asked him about that day, called him out on his lie, and he told me straight up he wanted to ask you out but got too scared. Austin said he wanted to tell you so many times when you would talk on the phone, wanted to try and make it work even though you moved countries, but he just couldn’t admit it. Convinced himself it wouldn’t work. And then I introduced him to Vanessa and things took off from there. He said it was for the best and that he felt good with V.

“After he said all that he tried to play it off, make it seem like his feelings for you were gone, that the past was the past and it just wasn’t meant to be. But I could tell there was still something there. I know he loved her so much, Y/N, but I swear to God after that night I never once saw his eyes shine again like they did when he talked about you.”

Sinking into the couch, you feel as if you’re in some kind of dream space. Nothing quite seems real as you stare at your television and watch as the man of the hour laughs at something James has said, while you try your best to process all that Ashley has revealed.

“Oh my god,” you croak out, your mouth feeling incredibly dry. Mind racing, you can’t quite find the right words to articulate what you’re feeling.

“I know it’s a lot and kind of sounds crazy, but it’s all true. Hell, I don’t even know if Austin remembers it happening, but I’ve never forgotten it. I’m sorry I kept it from you but I figured it was best; Austin was getting serious about Vanessa and you were busy with your show and casually dating at the time. I didn’t want to cause any unnecessary drama or hurt. Ugh, maybe I should’ve told you sooner. I should’ve said something that last night of filming!” It’s obvious the girl feels bad about it all, conflicted even. Even in your shocked state, you immediately put a stop to her worries.

“Ash, please don’t blame yourself for anything. Even if you had told me what Austin said or if you had done something when we wrapped, it wouldn’t have changed anything. I still would’ve gotten the show offer and still would’ve moved. Austin and I didn’t deserve to jump into something just for us to be torn apart. Besides, he and Vanessa would’ve crossed paths anyways. It was never going to be him and I. If not Vanessa, Austin would’ve found some other girl. Our lives just didn’t line up back then, that had to be some kind of sign we weren’t meant to be.” Your voice trails off, mind traveling back to those years and how hard it was to keep your closest relationships afloat. You can’t even imagine what it would’ve been like trying to keep a romantic relationship going, especially being separated by an ocean.

There’s a part of your brain that tells you you would’ve tried with Austin despite the obstacles, would’ve done anything to keep him close and not lose contact like you did. You shake it off quickly before it can consume you.

“You’re right about the timing and distance I suppose, but you're wrong about you and Austin not being meant to be.” Ashley pauses for a moment, thinking about her next words. She takes a breath and then, “Maybe it wasn’t meant to be back then, but what if it’s meant to be now.”

Your breath catches in your throat and you do your best to not choke on it. “I don’t know about that. I-It’s been too long. We were just kids back then. I don’t even know who he is anymore. Besides, even if he’s being serious about me being his celebrity crush, that’s all it is. It’s not like he said he’s in love with me.”

Bringing your feet up on the couch, you hug your knees close to your chest, needing some sort of comfort and a way to ground yourself. This past half hour has been one of the craziest of your life, and that’s saying something.

“He may not have said it, but he’s sure shown it.” Ashley goes quiet for a moment, you can hear shuffling and small noises from Jupiter; she must be putting her to bed. The lack of conversation leaves you a moment to ponder what your friend might mean. How has Austin shown he loves you? You haven’t even been in the same room together for over a decade. She must be mistaken.

Before you get a chance to dismiss her claims, the actress chimes in again. “Just hear me out on the things I’m about to tell you, okay? Over these past few years since Austin and Vanessa’s breakup, I’ve noticed certain things that make me believe Austin at least still thinks about you, and I say 'thinks' since I can tell you don’t want to believe it’s love.” There’s a joking edge to her voice and you lightly laugh at the way she’s able to know your thoughts without even being with you in person.

The whole thing seems absurd. You don’t really understand how you got to this point; discussing with your best friend how a man you knew fourteen years ago might still have feelings for you, but here you are. There is a tiny part of you that thinks maybe it isn’t so absurd because maybe, just maybe, you still have feelings for him too.

“Okay,” you decide. “Lay it on me.”

“Alright so I’m just gonna be honest and tell you he hasn’t said anything to me about it upfront, but like I said he’s easier to read than Jupiter’s baby books so I can tell this man is hiding something from me.” The both of you chuckle and you shake your head. This girl truly never misses a beat.

“First of all, he hasn’t dated anyone in three years, Y/N/N. Sure he’s hooked up with one or two girls, but every time I ask if this new girl is the one, he says it’s not gonna work out, that she’s not the one. And when I try to get it out of him who he thinks the one is, he looks at me like a little boy afraid to say he has a crush on a girl at school and then changes the subject.”

“Ashley-“

“Wait! No, okay, I know what you’re gonna say. You’re gonna say ‘that could mean anything, that doesn’t automatically make me the girl he’s talking about’, and that’s what I thought at first too, but then he started asking about you.”

Heat rushes to your face, your chest beginning to tighten as a fluttering feeling takes over your body. He asked about me? You bite your bottom lip and rub your hand over your face, preparing yourself for what Ashley is going to say next.

“It was subtle, I know he thinks he got away with it, but I knew every time he brought you up, it was because he was trying to find out more about you, trying to figure out a way to get close to you again. He was slick about it at first, would ask how you are when a commercial for one of your movies came up, but then he would straight up ask if you would be coming to the parties or hangouts I would have.”

“Oh my God,” you whisper, once again at a loss for any other words as excitement and disbelief course through your veins.

“I don’t know why he didn’t just ask me for your number, he knows I have it. I should’ve just given it to him but I didn’t want to overstep with you, didn’t know if you would want me to. I knew how busy you were and figured you wouldn’t have the time or maybe just wouldn’t want to considering how long it had been since you guys talked. I should’ve just been my normal scheming self and handed it over. To be fair I did try to get you guys together without either of you knowing over these last few years after I realized what he was up to-“

“Ashley!” You shriek, laughter erupting from within you and ringing out across your living room.

“What!? I couldn’t help it! It was clear to me Austin was into you, or at least wanted to reconnect, and I kinda wanted to see what happened! I told you I knew there was something between you guys way back then so I figured you probably felt the same as him. It never worked though because every time he would come to my functions, you couldn’t, and every time you would come, he couldn’t! I for sure thought it would finally happen when we had Juju’s party, but you had to leave to catch your flight right before Austin got there. It’s like you guys kept missing each other.”

Every single one of those instances floods your mind as Ashley says this. To think you guys could’ve been reunited, but something or someone pulled you away from it every time. And Jupiter’s birthday? The fact you missed him by mere minutes. You don’t know whether to take this all as a good or bad sign, clearly Austin wants to be in your life, but the universe seemingly has other plans.

“I don’t even know what to say,” you breathe out. “I mean, that’s crazy, right? It’s like we’re on the same path to each other, but we’re taking different routes, just missing each other every single time.”

"I know you're probably thinking this might be a bad sign, but I don't think it is. You and Austin had a bond that not many people get to have in their lifetime. You don't just forget about something like that. Sure you haven't talked in years, but that doesn't mean you still can't care for each other. Sometimes the universe has a plan that may not always happen when you want it to, but it's there. Like you said, it's like you're on the same path to each other, and maybe it's finally time the two of you are meant to be back together."

Ashley's words hit you hard. On the outside it might look like you and Austin just aren't supposed to cross paths again, but there's no way that could be true, not with all that's happened.

"I can't believe this is actually happening," you say. "All this time I thought I lost him for good, that he never felt the same as me back then." Tilting your head back on your couch, you let out a short, breathy laugh.

"And to think it's all because Austin just had to spill his guts on television." Once again you find yourself laughing with your best friend. To think you met two of the most important and special people in your life on the set of a silly little alien movie is so crazy, but you're glad it happened. You really don't think you'd be where you are today if things had been different, you definitely could say it was fate.

"So what do I do? Damn, I really am gonna have to call him and say 'Hey saw you on tv saying you had a crush on me! Wanna hook up?', aren't I?"

Ashley snorts on the other line and the sound makes you giggle. “Okay honestly, for once I’m gonna go back on what I’ve said. I definitely think this is too much to discuss over a phone call. You two need to be face to face when this happens.”

“I guess start your party planning then because I have no idea how else I’m supposed to meet him in person without having to call him first.”

While you sit on the couch and begin to nibble lightly on your bottom lip as you contemplate, an idea immediately comes to Ashley’s mind, and she knows the second she thinks of it that you’re not gonna like it.

“What if-,“ she hesitates, tossing the idea back and forth in her head, trying to decide if it really is the way to go. She decides it doesn’t hurt to at least suggest it. “What if you talked to him at the Met?”

You blink and then your eyes go wide. The thought of meeting up with Austin at the Met Gala hadn’t even crossed your mind. To be fair you’ve been trying to block it out since you found out you’d both be attending. The prospect of running into him for the first time in fourteen years during one of the biggest nights of the year sort of terrifies you.

“I-I mean I guess I could but-,“ shaking your head, you let out a huff and lean back into the couch.

“I know it’s not ideal, but this is your chance! I know you guys have obligations in the beginning, but the rest of the night is yours! You can find a cozy little corner to chat or whatever…” Ashley giggles and you gasp.

“Ashley, seriously!?” The girl laughs and you just roll your eyes, fighting back a smile.

“I’m sorry! I know this is serious, I’ll stop. But honestly, Y/N, this could work. It’s two weeks away, you have plenty of time to prepare. I know there’s no guarantee of anything happening, but don’t you at least wanna see what happens? This could change everything.” Ashley’s tone is light and supportive, you know she’s rooting for you and Austin, apparently always has been.

You know she’s right, that this could really be it. Maybe the universe really did have a plan for you and Austin all along, sure it wasn’t when you wanted it to happen, but it’s better late than never. There’s only one way to find out.

“Okay,” you reply. “I’ll do it. I’ll talk to Austin at the Met Gala.”

*****

The last two weeks have been…interesting to say the least. When Austin’s interview aired, you thought nothing of it in terms of media and fan attention, surely nothing would come of it. The only ones who would notice and mull it over would be you and Ashley, but boy were you wrong.

For fourteen straight days your socials have been filled with tags, comments, and mentions of you and Austin. All of which include photos or videos of the two of you from your days working on Aliens. There were so many people picking apart everything they could, theorizing, and making absurd assumptions. Majority of the time everything was light hearted and funny, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of how weird it all felt.

While looking at everything and seeing all the comments, it made you feel like you were right back on that set, like you were fourteen years in the past and you couldn’t make your way out. The whole thing made you feel like a teenager again, made you feel like that naive girl who was falling for her costar.

It’s funny how easy it is to slip back into those feelings, how some photos or clips dug up from strangers on the internet can suddenly transport you back to a time you tried hard to forget about and move on from. For the past few days you’ve been fighting with yourself on whether you’re taking that as a good or bad thing, but for now the jury is still out.

It’s almost time now. Any minute your car would pull up to the Met and you’d find yourself climbing those stairs and making your way to the one person who’s taken up space in your mind for two weeks.

Anxiety is definitely starting to rattle your bones and for once it isn’t because of the paparazzi or fans. It’s because of a boy, a man.

Times goes faster than you would’ve liked and suddenly you're stepping out to a swarm of flashing lights and excited screams. Somehow these things calm you, ground you. You choose to ignore the reason for this; the chaos drowns out your thoughts of seeing Austin tonight.

Staff ushers you along as you make your way towards the entrance of the building. Even with the fluid movement of everything, there’s no doubt you’re turning heads, almost forcing everyone to stop what they’re doing in order to get a look at you.

The past few years when it comes to the Met it’s no secret that people have been disappointed in certain looks, disappointed in a clear lack of on-theme fashion. But that’s so far from what’s happening with you tonight.

People would bet money that if Anna Wintour laid eyes on you right now, she would fall to her knees in both gratitude and awe over how on theme and brilliant you look. And that is saying something.

The fact that what you're wearing is even a topic to be discussed leaves you giggling and shaking your head, being a celebrity sure is crazy sometimes.

For a moment, you take a mental step back and really take everything in. It's crazy to you how far you've come, how much things have changed in such a short time. In just over a decade your whole life has been turned around. You've had experiences you've only ever dreamed of and it just keeps getting better. Not a day will ever go by where you aren't thankful for what's happened to you.

Sure, maybe you would've changed some things, taken different paths, or tried a little more with certain people. But at the end of the day all of that led you to where you are now—right here.

Keeping that in mind, you allow yourself to take a breath, to stop obsessing over what may or may not happen with Austin—if you even get a chance to talk to him. Stressing out over what ifs will do nothing good for you, and you know that. Whatever's meant to be, will be. Good or bad—with or without Austin—tonight will happen as it should.

You tilt your head down and close your eyes for a second, smile at the thought if it all, and then proceed to head inside.

*****

As the night goes on, it's clear to you that there's a possibility you really won't speak to Austin this evening. Somehow, you haven't seen him at all. You wouldn't have even known he showed if it wasn't for one of your friends gushing over how great the whole 'Elvis ensemble' looked earlier.

To be fair, you haven't really gotten a chance to even look for the guy. It's like everywhere you turn there's a friend or work colleague pulling you every which way and wanting to talk to you. It warms your heart to be speaking with so many lovely people, but if you wanted to even have a chance at letting something happen between you and Austin tonight, it would have to happen fast. The night may be young, but people would be leaving the museum soon to attend the countless after parties thrown throughout the night.

Who knows, you think, maybe Austin already left...

*****

Unbeknownst to you, Austin had seen you countless times tonight. Each time he caught a glimpse of you he was awestruck, as if he had never seen such a beautiful person before. But it was more than that too, it was the way he would watch as you laughed at something your friend would say, the way you would smile when greeting someone. Austin so desperately wanted to walk over to you—to hear that laugh and to have you smile at him like that. He had missed it so much.

But each time he would gather up the courage, someone would pull him away towards some producer he just had to talk to, or to some chairman he didn't even know existed until tonight, or to just someone who wasn't you.

Austin did his best to not look like a creep as he kept sneaking quick glances at you as often as he could. There was a part of him that hoped maybe you were looking to catch his eye as much as he wanted to catch yours. Every time you'd scan the area—as if you were looking for someone—his pulse would jump. You'd be just about to see him when someone would call your name or pull you away. You were constantly slipping through his fingers, have been for the past fourteen years from what he could gather from Ashley, and he wants that to end now—he needs it to.

"Austin." The blonde nearly jumps out of his seat as he's ripped from his thoughts. He clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck, hoping and praying he didn't just get caught staring at you as you speak to Daisy Edgar-Jones.

It's Priscilla and from the knowing look on her face Austin can tell he's busted. "M'sorry, what did you say?" Austin does his best to look fully invested in the woman sitting beside him, but no amount of fake attentiveness could fool Priscilla Presley.

"I said," Priscilla smiles. "When are you going to stop staring at that girl and go talk to her?"

Austin can feel the heat rising to his face and he tries to collect himself as much as possible in order to not let on to anything. "I-uh, I don't-." He chuckles, not totally sure on how to salvage this.

"Oh c'mon, Austin. You've been looking at her since the moment we got here. I didn't think anything of it, but when Baz was talking to you earlier and all you were doing was looking over his shoulder at her, I could tell something was up."

Austin immediately feels a small sense of shame, "I hadn't realized. M'so sorry, Priscilla. I didn't mean to be disrespectful or anything, especially not to you and Baz-"

Priscilla shakes her head, placing her hand on Austin's arm to let him know she's not trying to reprimand him. "There's nothing to apologize for! Trust me when I tell you it went right over Baz's head. He's so invested in this whole thing and drunk off the champagne he didn't even notice. I'm saying this to you because I want to know why you haven't gone over to her yet. We've just been sitting here for over a half hour, there's nothing stopping you from reaching out to her."

Austin can tell by the look in Priscilla's eyes that she knows something is up. She can tell he cares for the girl and wants to talk to her, she just can't understand why he hasn't already. You don't look at a woman like that and not go up to her.

"I just-I want to it's just-" Austin feels at a loss for words. His eyes flick to you across the room and his heart nearly bursts at the sight. He doesn't understand how he could care for someone so much even after how long it's been since you two have spoken. He's never been able to shake the way you make him feel, even after he fell in love with someone else and buried his feelings for you deep down, they were still always there. You were still always there.

"I know it may not seem like it, but I am hip to what goes on online. She's that girl you worked with a long time ago that everyone's talking about, isn't she?" Priscilla's eyes and smile are warm, inviting. She has this way about her that's always been able to calm Austin. Even when he was nervous as all get out when he met her for the first time, she was able to ease his nerves. Able to make him feel like he had someone to talk to, someone looking out for him.

The actor can feel his shoulders relax, feel some of the tension melt away as he decides there's no better person to open up to about love than Priscilla.

"Yeah, she is," Austin smiles. "If I'm bein' honest with you, I'm pretty sure I've been in love with her since I was seventeen years old. Sure I fell for other people, but I think there's a part of me that's always known no one else has ever, or will ever, make me feel the way she did-does."

There's a sense of relief Austin feels as the words leave his lips. He never thought he'd ever admit that to anyone, especially not out loud, and yet here he is. And if someone were to ask how it feels, he'd say it feels damn good.

"That's a beautiful feeling to have, and to know it as well. Not a lot of people find that person that makes them feel such a way, and they definitely don't always get the chance to have them back in their lives when they do."

Austin reaches out to grab Priscilla's hand and she places her other on top of his, squeezing it lightly. "No, they don't."

There's an unspoken understanding passed between the two. A nod to a past love and the chance a different ending can be written for a present one.

"I may not know a lot about the two of you, but it's clear to me you care a lot for this young woman and you can't let anything hold you back from finally going after her, from telling her how you feel. Love is one of the most important things in a person's life, and you've got to do everything you can to hold it close while you still can."

Austin nods his head, understanding completely what Priscilla is telling him. He knows with all his heart she's right; that he can't let anything or anyone hold him back any longer from the one he truly loves, not even himself.

"Go, Austin. It's obvious there's something destined to happen between you both; timing doesn't align like this for no reason. Now is your chance." Priscilla lets go of Austin's hand and there's a glint in her eyes Austin's only ever seen a few times before, all for the same reason.

As the blonde begins to stand up, he stops for a second. "Thank you, Priscilla, truly."

The woman closes her eyes briefly, nodding her head. Austin smiles once more before turning and walking straight to the person he's wanted to talk to for fourteen years, not stopping for anything.

*****

Taking a final sip of your drink, you stand from your chair. Half your table has cleared out, leaving with excited mumblings of after parties and late night escapades.

Part of you aches to stay longer to try and seek out Austin, but you really have no way to. All of your friends have already gone, the only one left being Daisy, but she wants to leave now too. Sure you could stay on your own, but who would be your cover? You don't really want to go walking around asking if anyone has seen the Elvis star—not with everything that's been going on in the media lately. You'd hate to draw attention to your desire to seek out an old friend and have it spin into something it's not.

"Ready?" Daisy asks from beside you, a light smile on her lips. Nodding, you return her smile before taking one last look around the extravagant room, hoping to catch a flash of familiar sandy hair somewhere.

"Yeah let's-"

Cutting yourself off, your neck nearly snaps at the speed in which you turn it back around. It was only for a second that you saw him, and only out of the corner of your eye, but you would recognize that face anywhere. It's Austin. And he's coming straight towards you.

Daisy notices your sudden change in demeanor instantly and it doesn't take her long to figure out what's happening. She sees the blonde and connects the dots. It's hard for her to contain her smile.

"I'll talk to you later, yeah?" She says, drawing your attention away from the approaching actor. Your eyes widen a little as you turn towards her again. There's no shot she missed your reaction, but you're glad it's Daisy who's caught it and not someone else. You told her a little about what's going on the other day when you were catching up, and you know she'd take everything to her grave if you asked her to.

"Yeah, of course." Reaching out to grasp her hand you whisper, "Thank you."

Daisy squeezes your hand in hers, nodding. "You're welcome and good luck." The girl gives you a knowing look before grabbing her clutch from the table and following the steady stream of people towards the exit.

Even over the constant flow of chatter and light music, you hear when Austin's steps stop behind you. You know that this is it, the moment you turn around everything will change. This could mean nothing, Austin could simply want to exchange pleasantries and catch up, but there's a part of you that knows that's far from what's going to happen.

Turning on your heels, you're met with ocean blue eyes you never thought you'd see in person again, and suddenly your mind is completely numb. All previous thoughts and anxieties are thrown out the window as you get lost in those big blue orbs.

"You look...beautiful," Austin gasps out. The comment leaves your cheeks feeling flushed, but you do your best to not shy away.

"Thank you," You whisper, your voice failing you as you're hit with so many emotions. If you thought seeing those old videos and pictures of you and Austin would be bad, it's got nothing on how you feel with him standing right here in front of you.

It's been over a decade and yet it's as if no time has passed at all. He's the same boy from that movie set all those years ago. Sure he's older, more defined, but he's got those same warm features. That same inviting and comforting aura that drew you to him in the first place.

"How long's it been?" He questions, but you can tell he knows exactly how long it's been. You can see it in his eyes, in the way he looks over your features as if he can't get enough of you, as if he's been waiting ages for this day.

"Fourteen years," you both say at the same time. There's a beat of silence, the weight of that revelation being spoken to each other for the first time hanging in the air.

The way it makes you feel is odd. There's a rush of sadness that passes through you and it passes through Austin as well. It's funny how quickly time flys. How it never really affected you because you had always been so busy. You didn't have time to think about what could've been with Austin, you didn't allow yourself to. You practically built a wall to block out the what ifs and the feelings you knew you had to let go of.

But knowing what you know now—that there could've been a chance and the fact he’s here with you—makes it all come crashing down.

In an instant you find yourself lunging towards the man before you, wrapping your arms tightly around him and falling in an embrace you haven't had in a long time.

To hell with the gossip, you think, let them talk. I missed him.

To anyone else the way Austin holds you so tightly might feel uncomfortable, but for you it's the most comfortable you've felt in a while. You bask in the way his scent and warmth envelops you. It's all so strangely familiar, yet you also had forgotten the way it felt to be wrapped in his arms. You wish with all your heart that you never had to forget in the first place.

"Why did you never reach out to me?" The words leave your lips so fast you surprise yourself. It could be seen as hypocritical asking this of Austin because why didn't you reach out? But the difference is, you always thought Austin never felt anything for you. You were under the impression he found his match and that was the end of it. You felt rejected only to find out there was something there all along. Why didn't he let you know sooner?

Austin takes a breath, sighing into the side of your head. It's obvious he has a lot to share with you, to explain. You want nothing more than to hear all of it and to have everything make sense. You’d sit with him all night if you have to.

Releasing his arms from around you, Austin takes a step back and softly turns you towards your table. He places a hand on the small of your back and leads you to your chair. The both of you sit down and you turn towards Austin to show him he has your full attention.

Unlike just a few moments ago, Austin looks anywhere but at you. He’s nibbling on his bottom lip and contemplating how he’s going to explain himself. There’s definitely a reason for the fact he didn’t try to contact you sooner, why he didn’t make more of an effort to keep in touch, why he didn’t fight for you.

He just doesn’t know how he’s going to explain it to you. Austin’s struggled to admit it to himself for so long, so admitting it to the woman it all has to do with is borderline terrifying for him.

“Aus,” you say, reaching out to give his hand a light squeeze. “It’s okay. You can talk to me, you know that.”

The blonde slowly raises his eyes to yours and sees how genuine your concern is. He can tell that you need this. It breaks his heart knowing how long he’s left you hanging without any explanation as to what he felt. Austin feels like an idiot over the fact you thought he felt nothing for you while the whole time it was the opposite.

All because of my own fears, he thinks, my own insecureties...

Austin shakes his head, essentially shaking off his nerves. He can't let them hold him back anymore. He can't let himself hold him back from going after what he really wants, who he really wants. Austin wants to be honest with you, he needs to.

"Y/N, I never reached out to you because I thought I wasn't good enough for you."

The statement practically knocks you over. Your head jolts back in confusion and your eyes go wide, disbelief clouding your features instantly. "Austin, why in the world would you think that?"

You don't want to diminish the importance and validity of Austin's feelings and fears, but the fact he believed he wasn't good enough for you is beyond mind-boggling.

A small smile tugs at a corner of Austin's lips, realization dawning on him that maybe it was a little silly to feel that way. But it's what he's always felt as soon as you left for your tv show, and he hasn't been able to shake it since.

"I-I don't know. You left the country and I saw how big your career was gettin' and I thought I wouldn't be able to compare, that you could do better, that you could be with someone more on your level. I know it may sound stupid but it's true. I also didn't want to come between your success or hold you back in any way. Trust me that not a day went by after we wrapped on Aliens that I didn't want to do better at stayin' in contact, but I figured with your big break that it was no use. You shouldn't have to choose between trying to make a relationship or your career work. So I just let it go. I let you go when I shouldn't have."

"Austin," your lip trembles as you try to not be consumed by your emotions. The fact he felt like this, no matter if it had even been a little bit, hurts your heart in a way you've never experienced before.

The actor lifts his hand in an effort to try and halt you feeling bad for him. "Sweetheart, please don't get upset over this, okay? It was all on me, I should've done something about it instead of keeping it from you back then. Lettin’ our relationship crumble is the worst thing I've ever done and I'm sorry.

"I thought after a few years that I had gotten over it. As you know I was in a committed relationship and I felt a good balance during it. I thought I had grown and that I could handle the fact my career wasn't at an extreme height compared to my partner's. So when that relationship ended I had a lot of time to reflect and figure out what it was I really wanted. I came back to America after filming Elvis and I swear to God when I stepped off that plane one of the first things I saw was a billboard with you on it for one of your new movies at the time.

"I figured this had to be some sorta sign or somethin'. But the more I kept thinkin' about it and figurin' out how I could reach out to you, the more I started to doubt myself. I felt like I was a teenager again questionin' if I was good enough for you. You were in all these huge films and seen with these other guys who are so much more successful than me, and I didn't know if you would even wanna talk to me considerin' how much time had passed."

Austin takes a breath, feeling like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It was a lot to admit, but letting you know exactly how he felt all these years is such a relief. He's kicking himself for not doing it sooner, for letting more time pass that he could've spent with you—as a friend at the very least.

He shouldn't have relied on possibly running into you at Ashley's parties, he should've just taken the leap and gotten your number. What's done is done though and there's no going back, but he sure as hell is gonna do everything he can to stay close with you going forward.

“Austin,” you start, feeling very much overwhelmed in both a good and bad way. No matter how you’re feeling though, you won’t allow Austin to think he’s inferior to you or that you wouldn’t want to talk to him because that’s so beyond far from the truth. “Never would I ever not wanna talk to you. If anything you’re one of the only people I’ve wanted to talk to these past few years. I’ve missed you like nobody’s business and I hate the fact you’ve ever felt anything less than equal when it comes to me and my success, and that those feelings forced you to stay away.

“No matter how many movies or shows I do, or what famous people I’m seen with, none of it will ever change the way I feel about you or make me see you in a different light. You’re one of, if not the, most honest and kind people I have ever met. I may not have known you for long way back then, but every single moment we spent together has stuck with me, and the way you treated me and made me feel has never left my mind. No one’s ever been as special to me as you were, Austin—as you are.”

The way Austin's eyes shine with emotion is indescribable. Somehow they get even more blue, a pale color you could get lost in for hours if given the chance. It's clear how impactful your words are on him, so you let him take a moment to just gather his thoughts.

"Y/N, I-I don't even know what to say," he chuckles, rubbing his fingers over his chin. "There aren't really enough words out there to describe how much that means to me, how much you mean to me. Gosh, m’just so sorry I let so much time pass between us and that I let my insecurities get the best of me."

You had begun shaking your head before Austin even finished what he was saying. "Don't be sorry. We both had our own part in everything and I would never hold that to you, especially when it comes to insecurities. I just hope you know how much I appreciate you being honest with me and letting me know everything. It definitely answers a lot of questions I had back then."

Austin nods his head and smiles lightly at you. It's a relief for him to know that helped you in some way. He knows finally letting it out absolutely helped him.

"And hey," you continue, a teasing tone poking through. "There's no way you can still feel like that, Mr. Elvis Presley himself! Like are you kidding me, Aus? That's incredible, I'm so proud of you and how far you've come. You deserve this so much and I know only a little bit has been shared, but I can just tell you're going to be amazing in that film. I can't wait to see it."

Your smile is wide as you watch Austin get shy, his cheeks reddening and his hand immediately rubbing the back of his neck. The sight makes you feel giddy.

"Thank you, Y/N/N. I appreciate that a lot. I really hope you do enjoy it when it comes out." There's a timid tone of pride as Austin says this. It's so surreal for him to think about how this film is actually real, and even more so that people are excited to see it. He's grateful for all the work he's ever done, but this is beyond his wildest dreams, and he can't wait for you to see it.

"You're welcome," you grin. "I'm sure I will."

There's a comforting stillness that surrounds you both for a few moments. The two of you just staring at each other fondly, feeling a fourteen year weight off your shoulders. It's a lot to take in all at once, especially after so much time, but it feels good and as if you're picking up right where you both left off. The questions and doubt you've carried for years finally roll off your back and you feel like you can start fresh with Austin, like things can be different after all.

"So, there's a lot to catch up on, isn't there?" Austin says, a coy smirk playing on the corner of his mouth.

"Yes, there is," you reply, settling more into your chair as you eagerly await the endless stories you know are coming.

"Where should we start?"

You ponder that question for a moment, thinking of where the best place to begin your catch up would be. It doesn't take long for the only correct answer to surface in your mind.

"How about right where we left off?" You suggest.

"Sounds perfect."

*****

You're not sure how much time has passed since you and Austin started reminiscing, but from the state of the gala around you—or at least what's left of it—it's been a while.

In the time you've spent chatting with Austin and getting to know who he is now, you realize just how aligned your lives have always been.

There's this little café in Los Angeles that you always pass by when you're out and about, and they have the best drinks and food you could imagine, so you stop there in the mornings before you start your day. Turns out Austin goes to the same place, except instead of in the morning, he goes at the end of his day right before he goes home.

Another thing was when Austin brought up how he saw your billboard when he got off the plane, it reminded you of how you had the same experience when you got back to LA from filming your tv show. While you were on your way home from the airport you saw a bus with an advertisement for the show he had been on at the time, The Carrie Diaries, and it had made you want to reach out to him as well. Of course you never did, though.

All of these things coming to light had made the two of you laugh so many times throughout your conversation. It was crazy to think about how many times you missed reuniting with each other, either unknowingly or knowingly.

Despite the time lost, you're honestly just grateful to be back in Austin's life now. Maybe him spilling his guts on national television wasn't so bad after all. Without it, you really might never have crossed paths again, even with being at the Met together.

"Austin," someone says off to the side of you. "I'm so sorry to interrupt, but Baz is making his way out and I figured you'd want to say goodbye before he leaves."

The voice is gentle and calm, and when you look up to see who it belongs to you nearly fall out of your seat. Priscilla Presley in the flesh. You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep your jaw from dropping.

Austin basically startles, suddenly realizing where he is. He got so caught up in listening to your stories and telling his own that he completely forgot he was even at an event.

"Oh absolutely, thank you, Priscilla. I'll be right there, I'll be just a moment."

Priscilla smiles warmly at Austin, and then her gaze quickly shifts to you. You can feel her kindness and compassion without her even having to say anything. She looks back towards Austin and you watch as she reaches up and lightly squeezes his shoulder, a knowing look passing between them.

You wonder what it is she's communicating to him, but something tells you it has everything to do with Austin coming over here to speak with you. The thought makes you feel warm inside.

In an instant, Priscilla's gone and it's just you and Austin once more. You know he has to leave now to say his goodbyes, so you begin to stand up from your chair. Austin does the same.

"She seems amazing," you say, staring in the direction Priscilla set off towards. You catch a glimpse of her as she laughs at something Baz Luhrmann has said.

"Yeah, she's incredible," Austin gushes. "I'll have to introduce you two properly sometime."

There's a shyness in Austin as he awaits your response. He doesn't want to overstep or push you into anything. From what he can tell he thinks you want to be back in his life as much as he wants to be back in yours, but still he doesn't want to just assume that there will even be a next time between you two.

"I'd love that, Aus," you reassure. His blue eyes meet yours and you can see how happy he is. You're sure your eyes show the same.

Austin looks quickly towards his table and knows he doesn't have much time left with you, so he speaks up before any more time can pass between you. "There's somethn' I wanna ask you. It's somethin' I should've asked you about fourteen years ago."

An airy laugh passes your lips and your heart swells at the idea of what the blonde is about to ask, a familiar feeling settling in your bones. You nod your head for him to go on.

Austin leans in, a little flustered but somehow still exuding the utmost confidence. "Would you wanna go out with me sometime?"

There it is. The question you were hoping he'd ask you all those years ago. It sounds even better than you thought it would.

"You have no idea how much I wanted you to ask me that." Austin laughs and the sound practically rattles your body. You'd never get tired of it. "Of course I would."

Austin wastes no time in wrapping his arms around you, bringing you close to his chest and holding you there. Once again you find yourself basking in it, wishing you didn't have to say goodbye already. The fact this won't be the last time you see Austin keeps you happy, though. The fact you have a date with him really seals the deal.

"You ever feel like, I don't know, there's somethin' that ties two people together sometimes? Like they're always gonna be connected, that they were destined for each other or somethin'? Sort of like a-" Austin cuts himself off, trying to think of what it is he's referencing.

"Like an invisible string?" You beam, pulling back to look up at him, knowing precisely what he's getting at.

"Yeah, exactly," he murmurs, staring at you with such adoration you swear you could melt right here.

You lightly squeeze Austin's waist before whispering back to him, "Then yeah, I absolutely do."

*****

It's been a couple weeks since you reunited with Austin at the Met Gala. It had taken a bit of rescheduling and careful planning, but you two were finally able to go on that date, and to say it was one of the best nights of your life would be an understatement.

There was a small part of you that was worried you had exhausted your topics to discuss while at the Met, but the way you and Austin fell into an easy rhythm while going out felt incredible. He made you laugh more times than you could count and just being in his presence again after so long felt like a dream come true. You missed talking to him and feeling a genuine connection with someone.

So, you were ecstatic when he kissed you goodnight. There aren't really words to describe the way it feels to kiss Austin Butler. All you know is that it definitely left you dizzy and wanting more. Needless to say, you can't wait for your next date.

Now, you find yourself in what feels like a full circle moment. Just like Austin was over a month ago, you're sat with James Corden on The Late Late Show. Luckily, you're not playing Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts like Austin had, but you're sure the topic of the two of you will come up soon enough.

The internet was kind of a mess since the Met, even more so than it was before. Word got out that you and Austin had spent the night talking—with a few added assumptions—and it hasn't been the same since. When you got papped while out on your date, that's when it got even worse. It was all so crazy, but all you two really cared about at the end of the day was that you were finally together.

"So, Y/N, I have to ask," James turns the questions to you now instead of your fellow special guest. "There are a few rumors flying about you and a certain blonde heartthrob—care to comment?"

Scattered 'oh's and 'ah's make their way across the audience and your heartbeat picks up a little at the sound. You knew this was coming, but it still makes you feel a little nervous. This relationship between you and Austin is fairly new, even if you have known each other for over a decade, but it's special and you'd hate to make it out to be something it's not.

"What would you like to know, James?" You're willing to throw a bone here and there, it's not like you and Austin are keeping your relationship a secret. You'll only dish out a little, but then it's lips sealed, at least for a little while longer.

"Anything, really. I mean is it true you and Austin reconnected at the Met and then proceeded to go out on a date?" James scoots forward in his chair a little, as if not wanting to miss a single thing you say.

You nod your head, that's obvious enough. Not too personal. It takes a quick search of your names over the past few weeks to connect those dots. "Yeah, it's true. The Met was actually the first time we saw each other in person in fourteen years. It was pretty crazy."

James and the audience react accordingly, finding that little tidbit to be fascinating. It kind of is, in a way. "That is pretty crazy! You know when Austin was on the show a while back and he said you were his celebrity crush, I was just so happy. I knew you guys had worked together a long time ago, so the idea of a reconciliation just seemed so cute to me."

"Thank you! Yeah it was great to meet up with him again. We definitely had a lot to catch up on, and I guess I really have you to thank for that considering it was Austin's comment on the show that sort of set everything in motion," you smile.

The host laughs and then grins before pretending to brush off dust on his shoulders. "Well you know they do say I tend to bring out the best in people. It's a gift, matchmaking."

Everyone laughs and James claps his hands together before shaking his head. "No, I'm joking, but really, Y/N, congratulations on everything. I know it's a tricky subject to bring up so I'll leave it at that, but I'm happy for you and wish you all the best."

"Thank you very much, James, I appreciate that." The man smiles at you before a thought appears to dawn on him.

"Okay wait I lied. I have one more question and then I'm done with you, I swear." You bust out laughing, along with everyone else, and shake your head at him.

"Sure, hit me with it," you giggle, interested to know where this is going.

"Y/N,” James pauses, building up the anticipation in the room. “Who is your celebrity crush?"

You don't even hesitate.

"Austin Butler."

[makeitquietly]

Laurel or Hardy: Early Films of Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy traces the roots of the legendary comedy duo by offering fans a two-disc set of 35 newly restored films starring either Stan Laurel or Oliver Hardy—all produced before the two genius talents ever joined forces.

Laurel and Hardy became cinematic legends together, but before they were ever hauling pianos or throwing pies as a hilarious and unforgettable comedic duo, each had to develop as an individual artist and performer. Laurel or Hardy: Early Films of Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy, as proudly presented by Flicker Alley, the Library of Congress, and Blackhawk Films®, offers fans new and old the rare opportunity to track the early solo careers of two comedy icons. Featuring all new 2K restorations sourced from materials contributed by archives and collectors around the world, this comprehensive 2-disc Blu-ray collection features 35 films and includes new scores from some of the best silent film composers working today.

Arthur Stanley Jefferson comes from the British vaudeville scene, and was at one time Chaplin's understudy. Oliver Norvell Hardy, a comedian born on film, worked steadily for years in Hollywood and built his notoriety in over 300 roles. Although the two had different styles and came from distinct backgrounds, they followed similar creative paths, each marked with trials, errors, successes, and the occasional strokes of genius. Along the way, they made millions of people laugh, offering ample evidence of the incredible individual talents that would eventually merge together to create one of the greatest comedy duos in all of film history.

Stan Laurel Films:

Bears and Bad Men (1918); The Egg (1922); A Weak-End Party (1922); The Pest (1922); When Knights Were Cold (1923); The Handy Man (1923); Pick and Shovel (1923); Collars and Cuffs (1923); Gas and Air (1923); A Man About Town (1923); The Whole Truth (1923); Brothers Under the Chin (1924); Zeb Vs. Paprika (1924); Wide Open Spaces (1924); Detained (1924); Twins (1925); Pie-Eyed (1925)

Oliver Hardy Films:

Mother's Baby Boy (1914); The Servant Girl's Legacy (1914); An Expensive Visit (1915); A Lucky Strike (1915); The New Adventures of J. Rufus Wallingford: The Lilac Splash (1915); The Serenade (1916); Hungry Hearts (1916); The Candy Trail (1916); The Chief Cook (1917); Hello Trouble (1918); Married to Order (1918); He's In Again (1918); The Rent Collector (1921); The Bakery (1921); The Show (1922); Rivals (1925); Wandering Papas (1926); Say It With Babies (1926)

BONUS MATERIALS INCLUDE:

Image Gallery — Slideshow presentation featuring photographs from the Library of Congress collections.

Collector’s Edition Souvenir Booklet — Limited edition booklet with film notes from film historian Rob Stone, as well as notes on the restoration from Lobster Film’s Serge Bromberg.

The photo and sales pitch are from flickeralley.com.

How this post came about:

Step 1: Oh, a new Blu-ray with Stan & Babe’s solo films. I wonder if there’s anything on it that I don’t have...

Step 2: Huh? This is the same collection as the DVD set released last year. I bought that one, so no need to bother with this.

Step 3: Nice touch to have the photos on the cover from the actual period, unlike on the DVD set:

Step 4: Kind of weird that Stan’s in costume while Babe’s with his pet monkey.

Step 5: Lol, Under Two Jags isn’t even included on this set, so why the photo?

Step 6: I wonder if the photo of Babe and his pet monkey is in that album of his... Might post it because kind of cute.

Step 7: Yes, it is! Wait, no, just two other photos... Er, what the actual fuck....?

Step 8: Posting those two photos

Step 9: This post.

If anyone has any theories on why they shopped the two pet monkey photos into one and put it on the cover of the Blu-ray, I’d love to read them!

I mean, why not choose one of them? Is there something wrong with them that gets better when they’re put together? In that case, did it have to be a photo about Babe and his pet? Why? Wouldn’t it have been logical to choose a movie photo since Stan’s was one too? Well, preferably use a photo from a movie included in the set for both of them.

I fucking hate it when people selling stuff change/add/remove things. Especially without saying so.

Anyways, the DVD set doesn’t have a photo gallery, so kind of extra curious now about what’s included... 🙄

Also, to be nitpicky, “early solo films” and all produced before they “ever joined forces” aren’t accurate expressions. These people must know it. So why lie? That “each had to develop” individually at first is a very peculiar claim. “Rare opportunity” isn’t true, though an understandable lie, if you want people to think nothing else is available.

Very proud of my collection. 😊

Can’t say anything about the picture quality on the Blu-rays, but at least the DVD set doesn’t have the wax problem which last year’s Laurel & Hardy “Definitive Restorations” collection suffers from. Also, some of the movies don’t appear elsewhere, which seems to me like a usable fact for marketing purposes, but whatever.

I suppose that last paragraph is opinions mostly, and I don’t even know what coming from “distinct backgrounds” is supposed to mean, but Stan and Babe really didn’t follow “similar creative paths”.

OTOH, why not just say the greatest comedy duo when you bloody well can without anybody being able to dispute it because it’s an actual personal preference? Unless of course it’s not yours...

Tl;dr: If anyone knows what’s included in the photo gallery, please tell me! I’ve tried to find useful reviews but failed.

[ariainstars]

Kylo Ren is The Bad Guy Because He Wants Power. Really?

Since I have read this interpretation more often than I can count, I would like to write a few things about the plain and simple assumption, made by many fans, that Kylo Ren / Ben Solo wants power and will do anything to get it.

I will not start again in detail with

- how Snoke influenced his mind since before he was born - how his own parents were afraid of his power - how he had to run from the Jedi Temple because his fellow students thought he had killed Luke, and joined Snoke and the Knights of Ren having nowhere else to go - how he knew that Luke had not told anyone about what had happened between the two of them that fatal night at the temple (his own parents believed he had tried to kill his uncle) - that he had not killed Han out of his own accord but Snoke had instigated him to do it; and that once the deed was done, the way back to “the Light” was shut on him forever; perhaps the truth about Luke would have come out, but no one would be willing to forgive a patricide and let him live a normal life again.

People like to say that he was offered chances to come back to the Light and refused; but when Vader had redeemed himself, he knew it would cost him his life. He had already lost everything he ever was and had and had survived for over twenty years in atrocious mental and physical pain; he didn't have much to lose. Ben was still young and healthy and it may not seem surprising that he would have wanted to return home and actually live.

Ben / Kylo was set up to insurrect against his family by Snoke / Palpatine who wanted to use him for his power. Of course he had to use other methods with him than he had used on Anakin: their life situation was totally different. Yet in both cases, they were good kids who grew up loved and later went to someone who had influenced them mentally since childhood in an hour of despair, when they felt let down and were fearing for life (Anakin for his wife’s, Ben for his own.) Which is why I will not accept that Ben is an “entitled, whiny brat” with no reason to be angry. I and other viewers have written and talked about all of this at length and who wants more details can find them on my blog, too. So let’s get started.

“Show me again the power of the Dark Side, and I will finish what you started… grandfather.”

This scene early in The Force Awakens already makes it obvious that the man who now is known by the name of Kylo Ren does not know Anakin Skywalker’s story. He speaks about power and talks to the mask. In his mind he does not see the withered, broken, sad old man behind the mask. And simply put: no one who knows what Vader’s power cost him can want to be like him.

That so many viewers believe the adage “Kylo Ren wants power because he wants to be like Darth Vader” results from Rey’s words to Kylo on their first Force connection. “You are afraid that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.” Kylo immediately recoils and it is clear from the expression on his face that Rey was spot on.

But though Rey is right, let us not forget that this is not only her but essentially his story: it’s the Skywalker saga and the heir of the Skywalker family by blood is he, not she. We will not understand a character if we only see them from another’s point of view instead of his own. Apart from the night he tells Rey about what happened at his uncle’s temple, way into the second instalment of the trilogy, Kylo does not speak about his thoughts, feelings and memories. In the first two films his story is almost entirely told from other people’s point of view. And he does not speak about himself at all in The Rise of Skywalker; after his redemption, he is perfectly mute.

So let us not go by what he does (not) say, but simply look at Kylo Ren / Ben Solo: the studios thankfully gave the role to a very expressive actor.

On occasion of his first meeting with Rey, Kylo takes off his helmet for the first time, and his expression is smug. He obviously is proud of what he is. He abducted her and literally keeps her with her hands tied. When she manages to escape, he explodes with rage. So, yes, undeniably power matters to him, not least because he believes he can impress the girl and keep her by his side - which fails spectacularly.

After this, Kylo commits the horrible act of patricide. Does it make him stronger? No, it’s another failure. Instead of feeling stronger he is deeply traumatized. Snoke had said to him that the deed would make him completely Dark, finally putting an end to his interior conflict. Yet the conflict is visibly deeper than ever.

In The Last Jedi he has a short moment of understanding with Rey. He looks tentatively hopeful.

When Rey comes to him on the Supremacy, he kills Snoke who was threatening her. Does he look smug now? No. He is confused, insecure. He obviously did not consider what would happen afterwards.

When Rey leaves him behind on Crait, he looks vulnerable, alone, sad.

We see him again in The Rise of Skywalkerand he does not look happy although he is now the most powerful man in the galaxy, and more powerful than Vader was. Instead of using his power he chases after Rey, offering her his hand once more.

On seeing the vision of his father, his mask is broken for good.

He runs off to save Rey from Palpatine, and he is more powerful than ever. In The Force Awakens he had claimed that the Skywalker saber belongs to him; now it finally does.

Only once in the entire trilogy do we see Ben happy: when Rey kisses him, making him understand that she does care for him.

Remember how Vader / Anakin looked in his dying moments, when he first looked directly at Luke? Like he had found a peace of sorts, but certainly he was not happy.

This is not the expression of a man who is tired of being alive. He gave his life force to Rey so she could live because he had learned to care more about her than about himself. (Which also recalls his father’s refusal to fight for his life in Episode V when he was about to be frozen in carbonite: Han knew the risk to which this would expose Leia, and he wanted her to be safe.)

So, does Kylo Ren / Ben Solo want power? No. He may have believed that he wanted it or been told that he needed it, but he did not want or need it. True Skywalker (and Solo) that he is, what he really wants is belonging, caring and being cared for.

Honestly: haven’t we all been there, at one time or another in our lives? Dreaming e.g. of becoming powerful, rich and / or famous believing that it would heal our wounded pride, maybe disappointments in our family, letdowns from our teachers and peers?

Does anyone really want that? We want to be happy. Ben’s father Han also found his happiness when he joined the Skywalker family.

Ben Solo did not know what he wanted almost until the end, and he only had it for a short moment. But he did find it. Which is a point which many misguided people who waste their lifetimes straining for this kind of power or another never reach.

Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader always knew what he wanted. What turned him evil were not his desires, but his methods (e.g. wanting to save his mother was right, the massacre on the Tusken raiders after he realized he had come too late was not). His grandson is confused and angsty, irritatingly so for many viewers. As Star Wars fans, people expect a villain in the story, and Kylo is not really convincing because he is never fully there; he never turns completely dark the way Anakin / Vader did.

But his insecurity is exactly the point. The sequel trilogy is not the story of a hero’s journey from Rey’s point of view: she does not overcome herself, and she does not get anything of what she wanted when she started. No family, no ocean for her, only two Force ghosts, a house that is foreign to her, and an endless desert before her eyes.

The story of the conflicted Ben Solo is ultimately a success because although he had to go a long way to realize what he really wanted, in the end he did realize it. And although he only found his belonging for a short moment, it was the right thing to want, because it saved Rey, set her free, and gave him closure.

[theji]

Both GGDD recently filed lawsuits against toxic solos and antis (again) and with that, came a new wave of discussions, such as this, on how GG is so 'poor thing', so alone. Or questions on why isn't DD helping him etc?

I really find it ridiculous that after all these years, after the storm that he has weathered through and emerged stronger from, people still think of GG as this helpless boy who's struggling on his own, without help from his management company, no close friends, no resources etc. The thoughts of 'Gege only has us. Gege needs our protection' is frankly just delusional, toxic even.

No, I hate to break it to you but GG has a close-knitted and reasonably capable team who takes care of him work-wise, keeps him well-fed, sometimes brings him some laughter and respects him as a boss. GG has a competent legal team who takes care of his interests, gives him advice and acts promptly when antis defame him. GG is backed by huge corporations like Tencent and CCTV. GG has the support and endorsements from industry veterans like various directors and seasoned actors/producers/singers who recognise him for his talents, hard work and good personality. GG has close friends from the industry whom he can count on in times of need, private friendships that he doesn't need to tell anyone about. GG has brands that adore and value him, and show him support in various ways outside his endorsements. GG has loving and supportive parents. And finally, GG has his Gou Zai Zai, his 24-hours shelter, his all-in-one source of comfort, support, stress-relief, advice, joy, motivation, companionship, etc. And also 🐢.

This is Xiao Zhan we're taking about. The entrepreneur who set up his own design and photography studio while juggling university. The guy who once made a cool RMB 200K from a design project even before graduation. The guy who bravely gave up his former budding career as an graphic designer to pursue a new career in the entertainment industry at the ripe old age of 24. The guy who refused to give up on his dreams and insisted on continuing dance practice even when his toe nails came off. The guy who was new to the entertainment industry but had to depend on himself to secure work, travelling on his own to auditions and public engagements. The guy who spent months filming under harsh schedules and conditions without complaints. The guy who was put through the worst and an unprecedented PR storm any public figure ever has to go through and made it through in one piece, even emerging bigger, better and stronger.

I could go on but to what end? You can't wake up a person who's pretending to be asleep. Those who still insist on viewing GG through diminished lens will always see him as someone lesser. Frankly, I think it's really disrespectful to disregard GG's capabilities and achievements, all in the name of 'love'.

GG may look pretty and mild on the outside but he is made of stronger stuff on the inside. He has likened himself to bamboo, resilient and tough enough to weather through storms. Hear it from the man (yes, man. Not boy, not baby) himself. He needs no protection. I don't know how many times GG needs to repeat himself before his 'fans' can get the message. Focus on his works, celebrate his achievements, spread positivity within the fandom, do good for the community, follow him rationally, purchase his endorsements within reasonable means, don't obsess over polls and rankings, don't start or engage in fan wars, treat other fan groups with respect, focus on your own lives and keep a distance from his personal life.

战, meaning battle, to fight, is literally his name.

TL;DR, GG knows his shit and fans should mind their own business.

[unmaskedagain]

Tattered Remains of Broken Dreams (Yours, not Mine)

This is based off a prompt I came across. It’s a one-shot. @virgil-is-a-cutie​ and @thyladyanput​. Hope you two like lit.

The pieces were scattered across her desk. Marinette had known something was up the moment she stepped into the classroom. Everyone had gone quiet. A few had glared at her. Some had snickered. And they all watched as she walked to her desk.

Nathanial had tried to wave her down; shaking his head with sorrow in his eyes. He had gotten there a few minutes before she did.

It took her a few seconds to recognize what the torn pieces of what had been weeks of hard work.

Once she realized what it was, Marinette wondered if it made her a bad person that she wanted to smile. Because while she honestly wanted to feel bad, all she felt was a relief. Like ten tons of weight had just been lifted from her shoulders.

Marinette looked at her desk, pulled out her phone, took a picture, and then sent several texts.

Then she shrugged, tossed the mess into a nearby trashcan, and pulled out a fresh sketchbook.

The other students, the ones who had waited for a reaction, were stunned. Where were the tears? The rage? Anything?

“Don’t you care?” Alya yelled, frustrated with her ex-bestie. “Your sketchbook was destroyed.”

           Marinette glanced up at her, “No. A sketchbook was destroyed. My sketchbook with all my worthwhile designs in safely locked away at my house. You all,” She looked around the classroom; memorizing every face.  Lila looked particularly bewildered because she had wanted to see the Asian girl cry. “ Destroyed my school sketchbook; the one I use for school-related events designs from various classmates, plans for birthday parties, and the like.”

“But you worked so hard,” Rose said.

           Mylene nodded, “You worked in it every day for months.”

“Yeah, it sucks,” Marinette shrugged. “For you.”

           That got everyone’s attention.

“What do you mean for us, Dudette?” Nino asked.

           Marinette sighed, “The sketchbook was filled with all the projects that were either requested by people in this room or were for people in this room. By destroying it, I can no longer do any of those projects,” She explained. “I did it in my free time. As my main work schedule is full of commission I’m actually being paid for. I don’t have time to redesign or remake those sketches. So I sent texts to Bustier, Luka, and anyone else involved that I can no longer work on their specific project.”

           The other students blinked.

           Marinette rolled her eyes, “That means I can’t do the costumes for the school play,”  Mylene and Sabrina gasped. “No new outfits for Kitty Section.” Rose and the other members of the band got tears in their eyes. “I can’t do the set design for Nino’s next gig.” The boy in questioned paled as he had been counting on Marinette’s design skills to wow the crowd. “The new design layout for the Ladyblog is canceled.” Alya clenched her fists. “The costume for Mylene’s short film is too. I had to back out of the school fundraiser. Let the Coach know I can no longer do any banner work. Or design the new team uniforms.” Alix and Kim’s mouths dropped. “Max’s Game-Con costume is out of the question now.” Max visibly deflated. “Ivan’s mom’s gift for her birthday is out too; pity that dress was so beautiful.” Ivan gasped. “I can plan any birthday parties or make custom cakes. The charity work you wanted my help with, I can’t do. My idea for the school trip to New York city is canceled as all my contacts and trip itinerary ideas are gone. I let Bustier know that I’ll be too busy to be class president so she’ll have to assign someone else the role. The dresses for the school dance you girls requested, I can’t do anymore.” She shrugged again. “Oh well.”

“But, but, Luka!” Juleka cried, worried about how her brother will react.

           Rose was crying. So was Mylene.

“Can’t you redo it,” Sabrina asked. “The drama department was counting on us.”

           Marinette narrowed her eyes. Us? Sabrina nor anyone else had lifted a finger to help Marinette come up with idea for the costumes for the school play. “Afraid not. There’s not enough time; to resketch everything and then actually make it. I have to focus on the designs I’m being actually being paid for. They come first.”

           Alix slammed her hands on the table, “We only did it because you were bullying Lila!”

           There were nods.

“Yeah, girl,” Alya said. “We just wanted you to know what being bullied was like. We didn’t know our stuff was in there.”

“First I never bullied Lila,” Marinette said and before anyone could protest, she continued. “Second of all, I was bullied by Chloe for years, why would you think I would ever bully anyone else,” She looked directly at Nino when she asked this. Her childhood friend. His eyes widened and he looked away. “Lastly, why should I go to the trouble and take time out of my already swamped schedule to redesign projects I did for you that you destroyed. The way I see it, it’s your own fault.”

           The entire class went silent again. Each mind weighing the consequences of their actions.

“Nathanial,” Marinette said. The redhead boy looked up. “You don’ t have to worry. You paid for your work; it was a commission. It will arrive on schedule; even if I have to work all night for a week to redo it.”

           Nathanial’s face lit up, “Thank you, Marc’s going to love it.”

“You’re redoing his work,” Alya screeched. “That’s not fair.”

“I didn’t destroy all her hard work, so yes it is,” Nathaniel snapped back at the girl before Marinette could. “Not only that but I paid for my stuff. Something none of you have ever even offered to do.”

           Some of the other students looked ashamed. It was true.

“They were custom made designs,” Marinette explained. “Any other designer would make you pay hundreds for all that works. Thousands, if it was a fully trained professional, right Adrien?”

           Adrien swallowed hard. He hadn’t been involved in actively destroying the bluenette’s sketchbook but he hadn’t stopped it either. The blond nodded, “My father would charge a lot. His last custom piece was sold for five grand, and it was just a simple pants suit.”

“What about your mom, Chloe?” Marinette asked the blond who had arrived mere seconds after Marinette and had stayed by the door to watch the fireworks.

Chloe gave the class a vindictive smirk, “For the dresses for the school dance, fifteen hundred dollars apiece; more if she had to hand sow them herself. For the rest of the work, combined, may be less than twenty grand if she cut you a deal. Anyway between ten and fifteen grand when she was still at Marinette’s level. Shame.”

Marinette shook her head, “Fifteen thousand dollars of work you were going to get for free, gone.”

Most of her classmates' faces had drained of color at the price, at realization of how big of a screw up they made. They had no idea just how much work Marinette did.

Lila was seething because it would be too hard to turn this around.

“I’m sorry,” Rose rushed to say. “We’re sorry.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Marinette shrugged. “There’s nothing to do. And now that I know that there are people in this class who can’t keep their hands to themselves, all free commissions are now canceled.” Gasps filled the room. “From now on, if you want some work done; you’ll go to my website and request a consultation like all my other customers. Keep in mind, for custom designs, depending the size of the job, you’ll have to book anywhere between a month and six months in advance. Www.MDC-designs.com.”

           Chloe walked to the back of the classroom and sat down next to the Bluenette, “You’re still doing my dress for the dance, though right?”

“Chloe, you did a consult a year early and paid well in advance,” Marinette smiled. “You’re dress is done. You can do your final fitting anytime.”

           Miss Bustier walked into class with a smile that quickly turned to a frown at the sight of Marinette, “Oh Marinette, I was so sad when you told me you had to back out of being class president and planning the school trip and, well, so many other things. You had such wonderful ideas. How on earth you got us on the list for a tour of Stark Industries, the Gotham times, Marvel Studios, and Vogue; I’ll never know. It’s a pity that can’t happen now. All canceled, you said?” The teacher shook her head. Totally unaware of the sheer horror her words at unleashed in her students. “It’s a shame about what happened to your sketchbook. Do you have any idea what happened?”

           Marinette just leaned back in her chair, “Not a clue.”

           That time, she smirked.

           The new few weeks were horrible for the students of Miss Bustier’s class. As they all scrambled to design, plan, and actually make/do their own projects.

           Sabrina and Mylene had realized quickly they had no designing skills and were forced to tell the drama department that the promised costumes weren’t coming. Aurora, leader of the Drama club, and Marinette s friend had heard about what happened from Nathianal and spread the news to the other club members. Most were artists too and knew they would’ve died if something like that were happening. The ones that weren’t couldn’t believe they had been getting all that for free and a bunch of idiots ruined it.

           Alix and Kim found themselves participating in a lot more school fundraisers to raise money for the new uniforms and to pay for all the team trips to the away games.

           Luka had been disappointed in his bandmates and his sister and had threatened to go solo.

           Alya was forced to do more babysitting to help pay for new website design and a dress for the dance.

           Nino had no clue just how hard the set design was. And ended up nearly causing a fire at his gig.

           Lila had no clue on where to start for planning a trip as fabulous as the one Bustier made Marinette’s sound.

           Birthdays went without cake, had only cheap decorations from the store, and immaculate gift that had come to be expected every year.

           The entire class, apart from three, felt the pressure of planning the school dance, fundraising for the field trips, affording their dresses for the dance, on top of all their other many after school activities.

           No one would bother to mention just how badly their actual school work suffered; there was barely any time to study for tests or do their homework. Grades dropped. Parents were furious.

           Alix nearly lost her spot on the team. Kim did lose his spot until his grades were brought back up. Alya was forced to stop her work with the Ladyblog until her grade improved. Nino’s parents forbid him from doing any more gigs. Mylene’s dad stopped her movie work altogether. Sabrina’s dad just straight up grounded his daughter so she could have time to relax and study when she had the time. Ivan’s mom actually started tutoring him. Max’s grades didn’t drop but his stress levels increased so much his parents pulled him out of all his extracurriculars.

           Luka had no choice but to go solo as his bandmates rarely showed up for practice. It was fine, though, Marinette got Jagged to work with him on a demo album. In exchange for a new few new pieces of wardrobe…

           For Fang.

           It got so bad even the headstrong Alya burst into tears at the pressure one day. The stress was too much. Some kids found themselves constantly being late, never getting enough sleep, and were constantly worried and checking their phone just in case something went wrong And somehow something always went wrong. A few kids started having anxiety attacks. Relationships and friendship suffered as no one had time to talk or spend any time together as foretime was a rarity. Mylene and Ivan broke up. So did Nino and Alya, who got into a fight so bad in front of the school, that Nino left in tears.

           Hawkmoth had a field day with it all. Until he started noticing all the akumas came from his son’s class, and that his son was looking too good either. Gabriel Agrest may be a heartless son of a bitch but he wasn’t a complete monster.

           …Plus the Akumas were all worthless anyway. Most were sleep akuma who just put people to sleep. A couple was literally dedicated to forcing people to plan their days better. There was an akuma that literally made everyone around them feel less stressful. Ladybug didn’t even bother to show up defeat that one. Hawkmoth just pulled it back eventually.

           Marinette watched it all; not with joy or happiness as her classmates' misery, just a sense of relief that for once it wasn’t her. Everyone noticed how Marinette was nearly never late anymore. She glowed with all the sleep she was finally making up. Her grades while never anything less than good improved dramatically. Her parents were happy their daughter was so much more relaxed and happier. It was like she was a new person.

           She even found she had more time to not only design stuff for herself but actually make it. Her dress for the school dance was going to be amazing.

           …If there was a school dance. With the way, things were going and the miserable looks of her ex-friends face when anyone brought it up, there was a good chance there wouldn’t be one.

           A week after Marinette had that thought, the school play was canceled. Some sports teams were forced to forfeit away games due to budgeting issues; losing their number one spot.

           It wasn’t long after that Rose came up to Marinette’s lunch table. Chloe and Nathaniel eyed the pixie-cut blond with suspicion.

“I’m sorry,” Rose whispered. “I didn’t know how much you did. How hard you worked. You did so much for us, and we never even realized. You must think we’re monsters.”

           Marinette shook her head, “. I still don’t understand why you would do something so horrible as destroying my private property but I think don’t your monsters. Just not very good friends,” She frowned. “Not friends at all, actually”

           Rose winced at the truthful words. Now that she didn’t have time to hang off Lila’s every word, it was easy to hear just how ridiculous all her stories were. She nodded, “I requested a consult on your website. Based on your prices, I think I finally enough money for an MDC original dress for the school dance.”

           So someone in class could learn. Most of the class still muttered under their breaths whenever Marinette walked by. Not willing to take the blame for their own mistakes. Though she did see Alya casting her pitiful glances every now and then as if Marinette would suddenly take mercy and start doing everything for the class again.

“I’m glad to hear,” Marinette smiled. “I think you’ll look great in a lovely turquoise; really make those eyes pop.”

[knchins]

Sex Tapes - Todoroki Shouto

Summary: Billionaire playboy Todoroki Shouto has a secret collection of personal sex tapes and tonight he plans on adding to his stash.

Pairing: Celebrity!Shouto x Idol!Reader

Rating: E+

Word Count: 4k

Bingo Prompt: Sex Tapes

Warnings: Vaginal sex, hair pulling, unprotected sex, hidden cameras, filming without permission, mild dirty talk, pull-out method

Notes: I was supposed to finish this last Saturday but life just has to get in the way sometimes. Well, here it is and I hope it was worth the wait. This was for @bnhabookclub​ NSFW weekly prompt "celebrity x celebrity". In this reader is a rising idol star that had just gotten her big break while Shouto is a young billionaire. I hope he's not too OOC! I may make this into a short series but haven’t decided.

 Todoroki Shouto adjusted his Windsor knot while looking at his reflection in the mirror. In just half an hour he’d be making his grand entrance at one of Japan’s largest charity balls that beckoned only the most famous of the country to attend. It was always considered one of the highest honors to be invited, a decree of one's success during the previous year.

 This was his sixth one, having become Japan’s youngest billionaire at the age of eighteen through risky business decisions and investments that all paid off in the end. Being a man of money and status had its perks. Women fell at his feet, he always got the best service in restaurants, and he could afford anything in the entire world that his mother may dream of having. Not that she ever asked for much, but he spoiled her all the same.

 A smirk pulled across his lips as he looked over his reflection. He never went home empty handed after one of these things. Young celebrities wanted nothing more than to climb the social ladder by riding his dick. He thought that his taste was impeccable when it came to...well, everything. Dates, food, cars, houses, he only wanted the best of the best and he was sure to get it.

 Every year Shouto had a tradition that none of his late night partners knew about. Hidden in the lavish bedroom in his penthouse were three small cameras and one well placed microphone. He quite enjoyed the secret tape collection he had. They were ordered by year and last name in a locked down file folder on his computer. Hard copies were kept in a secret safe. You never knew when you needed to cause a good scandal to take the eyes off of something that was maybe more sinister.

 He checked his ruby and diamond watch, the bejeweled face matching his iconic two-toned hair. Right on time, he mused as he checked himself over one last time before departing for the penthouse’s elevator. He made it down to the valet where a white limo had been waiting for him.

 The driver opened the door as Shouto said nothing. He entered, not even bothering to marvel at the red interior. The first few times he had ridden in his custom limo, it had amazed him at how well the designers were able to make his wishes come to life. Now it just seemed all the same to him. If you’ve ridden in one, you’ve ridden in them all. Painting it a different color only made it interesting for a short amount of time.

 When he arrived, there was a sea of expensive cars and limousines as far as he could see. He was silently thankful that large crowds like this didn’t bother him. While being with a big group of people wasn’t what he preferred, it also didn’t give him any kind of negative feeling such as anxiety or nervousness. It probably helped that he was great at working a room no matter how many were inside of it.

 The valet opened the door for him and he stepped out onto the long red carpet. Cameras were flashing as paparazzi stormed the limo, wanting to get a glimpse of his sharp white tux with bright red accents. His hair in perfect placement, having just gotten his undercut touched up that morning just for the event. He gave the cameras a sinful smirk that had all of the ladies sighing dreamily. If he were into small fry then maybe he’d take a few home and make them into stars. But no, he was after a much bigger fish tonight.

 He took his time walking to the building, enjoying the attention from the photographers and journalists. He entertained a few by doing some quick interviews about the event and his outfit. He praised his designers and stylists that worked hard to make him look the best, and that was probably the only honest thing he said to them.

 After nearly an hour, he ascended the stone staircase into the science museum where the ball was held. More people had arrived by this point and the place was filling nicely. He figured he was almost to capacity by the time he finally went inside.

 His mismatched eyes ran over the crowd, looking for one guest in particular. He knew from her social media that she would be here tonight and he was more than eager to start baiting her to get her to go home with him. He didn’t think it would be particularly difficult. It never was for him.

 Shouto’s gaze fell onto a beautiful young woman dressed in a tight dark blue dress with a long slit up the left side, exposing a fair amount of leg. He grabbed two glasses of champagne as he strode towards her at an even pace, not wanting to risk showing any sort of excitement.

 “Miss Y/L/N, how nice to finally meet you in person.” He said to the idol star in front of him. Her cheeks dusted pink in a light blush as she took one of the glasses from him. Everyone who was anyone knew who Todoroki Shouto was.

 She had just recently broken into the scene of stardom, having formerly been a member of a popular idol group. She started her solo career about a year ago and was finally a big name all on her own. The attention from other powerful people was still relatively new to her, her inexperience served as a kind of amusement for Shouto. If she  really   wanted to be a star, then he’d make her a star.

 “Mr. Todoroki, it’s nice to meet you.” She said, trying to hide her nerves. If she somehow spurned the young billionaire then she could ruin her own career. The mere thought had her walking on eggshells.

 He gave her one of his famous, dazzling smiles. “Please, call me Shouto. Mr. Todoroki is my father.” He teased and she chuckled lightly at the joke that admittedly wasn’t very original. “You look very lovely tonight, perhaps you’d like to dance with me later?”

 She looked up at him, blinking slowly as she processed the request. An excited smile crossed her soft lips, “I would love to Mr-” She stopped, “Shouto. Perhaps after I finish my drink?”

 Shouto nodded, sipping at his glass. They continued to make small talk, mostly about business and her rise to fame. When she asked him about his personal life he deflected, turning the conversation back to her. She didn’t seem to notice that he was doing this, which worked out better for him.

 As the night went on, he noticed her face flushing more and more, giggles spilling from her any time he teased her. They danced, ate  hors d'oeuvres  , and drank more of the bubbly alcohol than either of them probably should have. Shouto found himself becoming increasingly handsy as the time passed, first her upper back, then down to the gentle curve of her spine, her hips, and finally as they were slowly dancing he chanced to grab a handful of her ass.

  The idol star leaned into his toned chest, resting her head on his shoulder so that her breath fanned against his neck. She didn’t protest his touch, sighing softly instead of pulling away. The champagne had put her nerves around him at ease, and by now she was feeling as if she’d known him for years. In a way she had, always reading about him in magazines and seeing him on TV talking about his latest business ventures. He always found a way to stay in the spotlight.

 “Would you like to see how the rich live?” He asked, keeping his tone light in a way to show her that there was no pressure if she didn’t feel comfortable. Despite being such a playboy, Shouto never forced a woman to come home with him. That included heavy persuasion to get them into his bed. He had too much respect for the opposite sex to coerce them into doing anything they didn’t want to do.

 She looked up at him, blinking in time with the downbeat of the music playing. “Your place?” She asked, not bothering to be coy about it. She just wanted clarification for what he was asking of her before she agreed to anything.

 He simply nodded his head, a few red hairs daring to dip in front of his eyes. She reached up and brushed them back into place without much thought, “I’d love to.” She responded, suddenly feeling breathless by how close they were. Typically she didn’t do things like this, however they had such a profound connection that she decided to cave in to her wants for once.

 Typically she lived a very rigid lifestyle, adhering herself to strict rules to stay on top of her game. She had already broken several rules of her diet tonight and would more than likely regret it in the morning. However, Shouto’s presence seemed to make her forget about all of that. All she wanted was to spend more time with him, and thoroughly enjoy herself in the process. Maybe the calories burned through some extracurricular activities would help equal out all of the champagne she drank and pastries she ate. One could only hope.

 As the night wound down, and after Shouto did a grand display of his wealth by buying a few very expensive art pieces at the charity auction, the two wound up in his custom limo. The young star was not above throwing herself at him, his light touches across intimate areas throughout the night had her wanting him more and more. It was obvious what his intentions with her were, and she was completely on board.

 After marveling the beautiful interior of the luxury car, she turned to the side so she could face him. A gentle hand found his face, cupping his cheek as his two-toned eyes stared her down. Behind them was a lustful fire burning brightly, ready to explode. He stopped hesitating for the first time that night as he leaned in and brought their lips together at last.

 A needy whine left her, passing through her resolve with ease as her lips parted for his eager tongue. The kiss was sensual and greedy, hands aimlessly pawing through each other’s clothes as they wanted nothing more than to be closer.

 Shouto pulled away, knowing he had to wait for the main action. He didn’t have any recording devices within the limo, which in hindsight felt like a huge mistake. The night started as a simple conquest, but after talking to her and getting to know his little idol, the desire blossomed into something much more intense. This was no longer a simple catch for him. He wasn’t just going through the motions, he was actually putting in effort and if he hadn’t been inebriated then it probably would have frightened him.

 She looked at him with enlarged pupils, wondering why he pulled away. The playboy chuckled at the expression and a blush lit up her entire face. “I can either be a gentleman or we can do this here, I don’t believe I can do both.” He admitted, only adding fuel to her embarrassment. It clearly wasn’t rejection, however it did somehow feel that way just the tiniest bit.

 As they rode back to the building that housed his penthouse, he put an arm around her shoulder, tips of his fingers brushing the bare skin there. Even though it was light, it still seemed to set her ablaze. She shifted so that their sides and legs were touching, needing the closeness as she squeezed her thighs together. Something about him just made her so incredibly turned on that it was hard to keep her hands to herself (or off herself?) while they waited.

 When they finally parked out front, her hand darted for the door handle. Shouto let out another laugh as he reeled her back to him. “Hold on, sweetheart, I pay someone for that.” He couldn’t stop the amused look from crossing his features as a pout made its way onto her soft lips.

 A moment later the door opened. She took the hand that was outstretched to her and let it guide her out of the vehicle. A bright flash of light caused her to wince, though she was temporarily blinded she could hear the shudder of a camera. They just never give up, she thought bitterly as they called out to her, asking what she was doing with Todoroki Shouto at this time of night.

 Shouto appeared beside her, obviously unaffected by the paparazzi. He’d dealt with them for most of his life now, his father also being quite famous. They were just little insects that didn’t deserve his attention.

 He put an arm around his prize, his palm on the small of her back as he took her inside. The building security kept the onlookers at bay, not allowing them to come too close to the doorway. “Just ignore them.” He murmured into her ear, “they thrive on attention.”

 She nodded her head as they went through the glass doors. They went far back into the building, through a maze of corridors to a private elevator that could only be called when activated by his key. She tried not to marvel at the grandiose decor of the bottom floor. So far she couldn’t imagine what his penthouse would look like.

 Shouto inserted a silver key into the lock, turning it before pressing the call button.He removed his key and a few seconds later there was a high pitched chime before the gold doors opened. They went inside and he pressed the button for the top floor.

 They stood in a comfortable if not pleasurable silence as Shouto’s hand drifted downwards to her ass again. She acted as if she didn’t notice, though there was a tinge of pink on her cheeks as he gave her ass a small pat when the doors opened to reveal his lavish penthouse.

 She walked inside, awestruck at the expensive decor and beautiful open layout. It was even more magnificent then what she had expected, though in all honesty she wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. Despite her celeb status, she wasn’t nearly wealthy enough to have anything bigger than an upper class apartment. It was a comfortable living, but it was nothing like this.

 Shouto wasted no time in guiding her into the large master bedroom. The king sized bed was adorned with silk sheets and a plush duvet. “Strip for me, sweetheart.” He murmured into her ear in a low voice, “dance for me like you do on stage.”

 He moved away from her, loosening his tie and shedding his jacket and vest as he sat on the edge of the bed. The singer stared at him before slowly starting to dance to an inner beat, unzipping her dress in the process and letting it fall to the floor.

 She expertly stepped out of it before smoothly taking off her heels. Keeping her pace slow and deliberate, she removed her stockings, only stopping when she was reduced to nothing but a pair of bra and panties.

 The billionaire was captivated by everything about her. Her rhythmic dance, the soft and bare skin, and the sensual expression that graced her face. He was slowly unbuttoning his shirt, leaving it open for her to take in his sculpted chest and abs.

 Her tongue came out to wet her lips, moving to straddle his lap. She rolled her hips against him, grinding her sex against his thighs. Shouto grabbed her upper legs, forcing her even closer as he captured her mouth with his own in a kiss that was a whirlwind of lips, tongue, and teeth.

 Shouto changed their positions so that he was on top of her, devouring her with his mouth as he moved his hips against hers. He quickly finished taking off his shirt. The only thing separating them now was their underwear and his pants. This didn’t stop her from feeling his hard shaft press against her pussy, his movements stimulating her clit slightly. It was enough of a sensation to make her whine needily for him, taking a fistful of his multicolored hair into her hand to force the kiss to go even deeper.

 He growled, tearing off her bra in order to fondle her breasts, tweaking the soft nipples until they were hardened peaks. His mouth ripped from hers and left a trail of smoldering kisses down the small expanse of her neck, nipping the flesh at the most sensitive points that had her gasping for some kind of release.

 Her hands moved to his pants, managing somehow to get them off without being able to see them. He kicked them out from around his ankles, enjoying the smaller amount of resistance against his straining erection.

 His fingers caught the elastic of her thong, sliding it downwards off her legs, making her untangle them from around his waist. Once she was completely nude he pressed a thumb against her engorged clit, eliciting a whimper from his conquest. He moved the digit in slow, agonizing circles that had her panting and keening for more. She had never felt so untouched in her entire life.

 “S-Shouto,” She rasped, “P-please!” She wasn’t sure how much more of his taunts she could take. His mouth had found the swell of her breasts, leaving purpling hickies across both of them. His eyes flickered up to look at her face, seeing the desperation infiltrating her features. He felt like he had hardly even touched her yet. He chalked it up to inexperience, she wasn’t known to go on many dates or have a steady partner.

 “Do you need my cock that badly, Y/N?” He asked quizzically, pulling his face from between her breasts. “Your body hasn’t stopped begging for me since the limo.” At the end of his statement, he pinched the delicate bundle of nerves to get his point across. The action caused her to buck her hips in a feeble attempt to try to get out of his grip, but Shouto merely laughed in response.

 He stood away from her and slid down his thin boxers. Instantly her teeth sunk into her lower lip as the sight of his hardened member, the tip nearly touching his belly button. There was a thin trail of multicolored hair connecting the small divot in his stomach to his groin, the colors split perfectly down the middle the same way as they were on the top of his head.

 “I’m going to need you to do something for me first, doll.” He said as he climbed onto the bed and settled back. There was a smirk plastered on his face now, “Before I fuck you, I want you to give me a little taste.”

 He watched as she sat up, her entire body flushed as she crawled to sit between his legs. One tentative hand reached out to stroke his shaft as her soft tongue lapped at the pre-cum glistening on his head. Shouto bit back a moan as he watched her, his eyes flicking to one of the several hidden cameras and giving it a wink.

 The singer didn’t notice him, too busy concentrating on the task at hand. Her tongue swirled as she slowly led him into her mouth, hollowing out her cheeks in an attempt to elicit some kind of sound from him. “That’s it,” He cooed, his hand finding its way into her tresses, “suck my dick like a good little idol.”

 She kept her eyes closed, too embarrassed to look up at him as she moved her head faster, hand still giving attention to the part of his length that wouldn’t fit within her mouth. After a few minutes, Shouto let out a small sigh of content before wrenching her off of him by tugging on her hair.

 He was smiling as she caught her breath, maneuvering them so she was on all fours in front of him. He aligned himself up to her soaking cunt, running his tip along her folds. “Wow, you’re really dripping for me, aren’t you?” He asked, voice sinfully deep. Before she could give him any kind of coherent answer, he slammed into her.

 Keeping his grip on her locks, he pulled her head back so that she had to arch her spine. A gasp rattled her throat as she was forced to quickly acclimate to his large size, walls stretching painfully at first before relaxing once more. She was so small compared to him that he felt like he was being suctioned inward, the feeling so powerful and overwhelming that he couldn’t stop the moan that came out of him.

 He continued to thrust his hips at an intense speed, the sound of his scrotum hitting against her skin bounced off the walls it was so loud. The up and coming music star was nearly screaming for him, her moans so loud that he wondered if the whole building could hear her. He imagined someone who always looked so innocent on stage sounding so positively lewd. Shouto felt so incredibly powerful for reducing her to nothing but a fuck toy.

 Shouto tilted his head back, groaning at how amazing his dick felt wrapped inside of her pussy. It was like she was made for him, perfect in every conceivable way. After all, no one had the level of dirt on her that he now had. It was such an addictive feeling, knowing he could do anything with the video. He had the power to ruin her career if he wanted to, though of course he really had no reason to.

 He was pulled from his thoughts at the sensation of her walls fluttering around him as she came so hard that she was silent for a full thirty seconds. When she finally started to descend from her high, she gasped out for air as if trying to mentally grab any oxygen she could find. He pulled her back by her hair, making her stand up on her knees. A muscular arm wrapped around her body and a strong hand captured her throat.

 She was silent again as he deprived her brain of blood and oxygen. Shouto found himself toeing the line between orgasm and not, holding himself back as much as he could for the time being. His other hand also snaked around, releasing her hair finally so he could stimulate her clit. Another few seconds he released the hold on her neck and she came a second time with the rushing sensation of blood racing through her brain once more, drinking in air in loud gulps.

 Shouto quickly pulled out and released his seed across her lower back and ass, easing her down onto her stomach as he caught his breath. She lay in a puddle on the massive bed, unable to form any sort of coherent thought as her mind was a tornado of emotions.

 After catching his breath, the playboy retrieved a warm wet cloth and dry towel. He cleaned up the mess he had made gently, careful not to touch any place that may be overstimulated. There was a sincere smile on his lips and a warmth within him that he hadn’t recalled ever feeling before.

 Once he was done cleaning her up, he tossed the towels into a laundry chute and pulled the sheets back. He climbed in next to her after turning out the light and covered them with the silk threads. His hand lightly moved up and down her back until she was fast asleep. As he listened to the light sounds of her breathing, regret began to sweep over him.

 He stood, frowning at the small whine she gave when he left. When he was sure that she hadn’t actually awoken, he padded to his laptop and unlocked it. He cut the feed to the video and promptly deleted the file before crawling back into bed and holding her once more in his arms.

Masterlist || Bingo Masterlist || Bingo requests open!

Tag list: @gallickingun​, @dabi-hates-fish​, @hawksward​, @sadistiks​

[spectacularlyignorantt]

From the dining table

March 2017

Louis sat in the kitchen looking around, dust covering every possible surface. Princess Park, their first home, the place they bought together without telling anyone and then never sold after the breakup. Maybe because they couldn't see each other and not end up in bed, regretting it in the morning. Maybe because they both knew this time apart meant nothing. They were destined to be together, a love no one could understand, right?

The last time he saw Harry was after the presentation of his single Just Hold On on the X-Factor, but they had not been a proper couple for around a year. If you didn’t count the sex, of course. Louis didn’t. Sex didn’t mean much, not when he knew what it felt like to be in a relationship with Harry Styles for 5 years. They would have stopped seeing each other when the band started the hiatus if it wasn’t for his mom's health getting worse. Harry stood next to him all those months, giving him comfort, keeping her company when Louis was too tired to stay awake. Harry was part of his family, after all. And Louis knew Anne, Gems and Robin felt the same way about him. 

The reason for their break up was a mystery for everyone, a question never answered. They belonged together, no one could say the opposite after expending time with the couple for 10 minutes. Either you were blind or disgusted by their love, in a cute way. 

Louis knew, of course. It was a decision, more than anything. They felt like the only thing holding them together was the band and decided to take a break to figure out if there was more than that. So they never sold their first home because there was no chance they weren't going back together. 

Lately, Louis wasn’t so sure about that. To be honest, he wasn't sure about anything. The sky was pouring like it should be, for mood purposes. The lump in his throat made breathing hard, the weight in his chest holding him down in the chair. He closed his eyes, he wasn’t going to cry. The promise he made to his mother was still clear in his mind and it was killing him. Because lately, it felt like Harry had forgotten about them. With his solo music, the movie, all that pr girlfriends Louis knew he hated. All that glamour, all those lights. Why would he be thinking about Louis? Maybe they were right, maybe it wasn’t destiny but circumstance. 

Things got worse recently, after Niall went to his flat a couple of days before, wearing that big old tee and Louis told him he smelled like Harry. He wasn’t jealous, not really. It was Niall, for god’s sake. But Niall was around his baby a lot, they had a close friendship not many knew about. Something about the unusual sadness in Niall's eyes told him much more than the calls Haz never answered. Harry didn’t want him anymore. They were done. 

The pressure in his head felt compressive like the one in his heart. All those shots, pints and pot weren’t a good combination. Neither was that boy with curls but the wrong shade of green when he woke up that morning in a hotel room, unable to remember much about the night before. But what else could he do? How could he go to Harry right now and tell him he was sorry for his insecurities? For ruining everything without a good reason? How could he tell him he was sorry? Liam and Oli said he needed to give it time, but everyday felt a little bit more far away from home. So he came back. 

There was a notepad where they used to write the grocery list sitting on the counter, next to the fridge. He took it and the pen on the table, the dim light coming from the closed window. He didn't know what to do, how to get out of this pain, this love. How to be himself again. 

So Louis did the only thing he felt like he could do right: he wrote a song. It was more of a letter, really. But it was shaped like a song, that was his strong suit after all.  And Harry loved to see him write, once upon a time. Used to dance with him in that kitchen, used to make him pancakes in the morning. They used to talk and fuck and chat for hours between those walls. 

To Harry: 

Woke up alone in this hotel room

Played with myself, where were you?

Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon

I've never felt less cool 

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated, Harry

Why won't you ever be the first one to break?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

I saw Niall the other day

He said you feel just fine

I see you gave him my old t-shirt

More of what was once mine

I see it's written, it's all over his face

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call,

And by the way

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

But you, you never do

Woke up this boy who looked just like you

I almost said your name

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call

By the way…

 He stopped there, unable to continue. His hand was shaking, the tears were smushing the ink on the paper. What a fucking cliche, crying after promising himself he wasn’t going to do it. Nothing could hurt as much as losing his mum, nothing could compare. So why was he crying? Why couldn’t he just fucking stop?

Louis got up from the chair and walked away from the dining table, leaving the notepad there. He knew deep in his broken heart that the next time he came back it was going to be there. Left and forgotten, just like that house and those memories. Louis left it there next to his allowance to feel sorry for himself. He needed to grow up, get away from those parties and false people. He was going to get his shit together, write away his feelings and find his sound. 

And if Harry didn’t want him in his life, then there was nothing left to do, right?

May 2017

 The recording of Back to you was finally over and now they need it to work in the music video and he wanted to film it on Doncaster. It felt right to go back to his ‘home’, if he couldn't go back home, you know what I mean? It went well with the theme. 

Louis was driving back from the studio to his flat when a notification popped out in this phone: Harry’s album was out and apparently, people thought a couple of songs were about him. Louis wasn't going to be surprised if they were, both wrote about each other a lot along the way. And the fans loved to link things, made up theories about the Larry situation. Something he wished he could out and say ‘yes it was true but it's over now, please stop tagging me, it hurts’. It didn’t. not as much anymore. 

Or that’s what he thought until he heard track 4, Two Ghost. He knew those lyrics, Harry had written them years ago. That is what they used to call each other’s public images: ghosts. Images without a soul. What a young and dramatic pair they used to be, back in 2013. 

He didn't cry with that one, maybe because of its familiarity. And he wasn’t even mad about the songs about girls, he knew Harry better than that, even after all this time. 

Next was Sweet Creature, the one everyone was speculating about, and honestly Harry, ‘two hearts, one home’? The song felt different. Maybe because he thought that Harry didn’t really remember about their lost home, about being young and in love. Too young to know, most people used to say. What a fool he was for listening. Now he knew, and it was too late. 

Kiwi was funny in the most depressing way for him, Woman felt like an anthem, it felt like Harry’s jealousy, his deep and most dark possessive behavior. But then, when a chord from a guitar came in he went to his phone to check the name. He wasn’t quick enough, tho. The first verse stopped him right there. It was a good thing he parked in his apartment building a couple of songs ago. 

Because there, in the shape of the last song of H’s first album, it was Louis' letter. His feelings in a notepad, in the shape of an awkward song. Almost word by word, Harry’s voice filled the car with calmness and longing, a branch of olive. He was giving the first step. If those little easter eggs along the album weren’t enough, he took Louis letter from two fucking months ago and put it there. He probably had to push the label to do it, with such short notice. Harry went out of his way to let him know it wasn’t over. 

Harry went back to Princess Park, just like him. He went back home. 

 ----

His friend picked up the phone after two missed calls. 

‘Oi Lou, how ya doin?’ the thick Irish accent wasn’t enough of a distraction. 

‘Hey lad, I’m fine. Sorry to bother but I need to ask you something’ he could hear the urgency in his own voice. 

‘Never a bother mate, whatever you need’ Niall, always the optimistic. Louis loved him. 

‘Is Harry staying here? In London I mean’ 

‘What? What's going on?’ and then ‘Oh, the album is out, innit?’ 

‘Yeah…’

‘Okay, well, Harry was going to be with Nick today so yeah, he must be doing press shit’

‘Of course, makes sense, thank you mate. I will explain later ’

‘Sure, use protection’

Louis rolled his eyes but didn’t deny the implications. The car came to life once again and he started driving to Harry’s house. The one they used to spend time in when they had some time between recording and touring. He didn’t even feel annoyed by the traffic, listening to the album all over again. Letting his body welcome Harry once again.

Of course, he still had his keys, drowned deep in the glovebox. He wasn’t going to enter the actual house, but it wouldn’t have been smart to stay outside on the street, someone could recognise him. 

So once he parked in front of the building and noticed Harry wasn’t home, he closed his eyes and took a breath after what felt like hours. The next time he opened them there was a hand taping on his windows, he had fallen asleep.

It was a big hand adorned with rings and some nail polish. Louis knew what it felt to hold it more than he knew his own face. He took a deep breath and opened the door. Harry was waiting outside, a small smile making just one dimple appear. It was the first time they had seen each other in months but Louis felt like no time had passed. And if Louis was going to turn into an idiotic helpless cliche then it better be because of a boy as wonderful and beautiful as him. There was no one else. Harry was it. 

‘I thought it was going to take you longer ’

‘To listen to the album or to get my shit together? ’

Harry seemed to consider his answer for a second, the dramatic little shit that he was. Then he smiled and Louis forgave him immediately. 

‘Both’

Louis laughed and took a step closer to the love of his life. 

‘I’m sorry, baby, I'm really sorry ’

‘Me too’

‘If you let me kiss you right now I’m never letting you go again. It's your choice’

‘Never wanted you to go in the first place’

‘Right answer’

And then they kissed because there wasn't much left to say. At least not right now. The conversation could wait for the next morning, once they had sex, pancakes and maybe a little dance in the kitchen. For old times sake.

----

Soooo, I wrote this because I couldn’t get the idea of Louis writing this song out of my head. And like, it sounds so much like Harry’s writing, this is not a theory at all. But I liked the idea so yeah. It’s probably gonna be my first and only fic about Larry, hope you like it. 

All the mistakes are mine and its noy my first language, sorry if the grammar is trashy. Thanks. 

[eideticmemory]

EVER SINCE NEW YORK IV | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

Description: I was messaged saying: “If you don’t write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then what’s the point 😔.” So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic. Cover by @timey-wimey-lovi​!

PART 4! Read Part 3 here!

SOUNDTRACK:

Let Me Know - Clear Eyes.

Friends - Ed Sheeran.

Perfect Places - Lorde.

Word Count: 4,551.

Rating: M.

Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, drinking, recreational drug use, a bit of angst.

Fall, Junior Year.

Tisch School of the Arts, 

New York University.

New York City. 

“We’re going out tonight,” Claire said, plopping down on your bed. 

“Oh? We are?” You replied, a notebook in your lap, and your back resting against the pillows.

“Yes. There is a welcome back party on campus tonight and we’re going.”

“I don’t feel like partying,” you sighed. “We just moved back in. There’s still so much left to do, to unpack.”

“Guess what? It’ll be here when we get back. And we’ll have all of tomorrow to decorate. But right now, we’re juniors, we’re thriving, and we’re gonna party!” She did a little dance, her red hair bouncing on her head. 

You giggled, “Fine. Only until midnight! Then, we’re coming right back.”

“Geez, grandma? Midnight? Make it one!”

“Fine, one-thirty.”

“I’ll take it,” she smiled. She hopped out of bed, and turned on her heels, finger guns pointing at you. “Wear that red tube top. Step all the way out, kid. I mean it!”

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

You wore the top. It looked good. Abnormally good. Insanely good. It hugged your body, and accented your breasts, little ruffles handing on the hem. You paired it with a loose pair of jeans, leather boots, and sparkly jewelry. Your hair was pulled out of your face and you applied light makeup. 

“Yes, ma’am!” Claire cheered when she saw you. “For someone who didn’t wanna party, you sure snapped.” 

“Hush,” you blushed. “I just wanna be prepared, y’know, in case we take pictures or run into people.”

Person. Singular. 

You anticipated a high chance of seeing Matthew tonight, and if it was true, it would be your first time seeing each other in person in two months. After week upon week of late night phone calls — full of dirty words, quiet moans, and soft goodnight wishes. With his timezone being three hours behind yours, the two of you set alarms on your phone to talk in the early hours of the morning. Until you fell into this routine of talking every night. First, helping each other get off — sometimes more than once. And then having a sleepy, giggle-filled conversation about anything under the sun. It regularly lasted until one of you fell asleep.

So, yeah. You were eager to see him. Even more eager to get back to his place. Get back underneath him. It’d been a week since you last spoke, both of you being too busy moving back to New York. You ached for him dearly. And you wanted his first reaction to seeing you again to be lustful, intense. The outfit was perfect.

Claire and you walked across campus, arm in arm, skin glowing under the lights, hair blowing in the breeze. The music was palpable, and you could hear it from miles away. The two of you stepped into the dorming building, giggling at the sight of familiar faces, the smell of alcohol and weed, the sound of bass. 

For most of the night it was easy to mingle. You carried a solo cup of alcohol from each room — vodka. Everytime you drank rum, you got horny. It was weird. You couldn’t turn a corner without bumping into someone you knew, be it a dancer, an actor, film student. Being a double major, and active on campus, you knew way too many people. And everyone seemed to be there that night. It took you a good hour to rotate amongst groups. 

“[y/n]?”

You turned around, a smile instantly appearing on your face. “Alex! Oh, my goodness! How are you?”

The dashing boy smiled at you, his hand on your shoulder. “Hey! I’m great, how are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good. I’m currently trying to have a good time despite being tired as hell.”

He laughed, “Well, I see you’ve got some good time juice there, so you’re halfway to freedom. Hey, I forgot to tell you — your performance in the nutcracker last Christmas was incredible. I, uh, I actually went to the spring ballet after that because I was so impressed.”

“Thank you,” you grinned. “I like to inspire people to experience ballet. It’s cool.”

“I was very inspired,” he nodded. “Hopefully we’ll have some more classes together this semester.” 

“Yeah! If not, you know how to reach me.” You bit down on your lip to keep from smiling too wide. He gave you a quick wink, and walked away. 

You instantly began looking for Claire, rushing around the dorm for anyone resembling your friend. You noticed her in the threshold of a room, shoulder leaned against the wall, her arms crossed. You walked up to her, “Claire! Claire, you’re not gonna believe who I just ran into. It was definitely not the reunion I was expecting tonight.” 

Claire was dazed, staring in front of her with a face solid as stone. You very rarely saw her like this, and it freaked you out right away. “Claire? Claire, dude, what’s wrong?” You turned your head to follow her gaze, and your eyes landed on the couch. 

People lined the cushions, and dead in the center was Matthew. His hair had grown out a lot, and he dressed differently. All button down shirts and khaki shorts. With that damn chain tucked in his collar. And beside him was a girl. Hair jet black, a matching black mini dress, paired with sandals. They were kissing. Hot. Heavy. His hand gripping her hair, the other on his thigh. When they seperated, she touched his lips and you felt yourself having a stroke. The giggled at each other and Matthew kissed her cheek. 

“It’s about one-thirty, right?” Claire asked you, her sight not moving. 

You gulped. There was an ache in your chest that made it hard to speak. But you took a deep breath, and release the words, “Yeah. Let’s go home.”

Claire walked around you, heading towards the exit, and you followed. The two of you walked home, silent, arms over each other’s shoulders. In the room, Claire dropped her stuff to the floor,  kicked her shoes off and sat on her bed. You rushed into the space, approached your nightstand and rummaged through it. 

“What are you doing, [y/n]?”

“I’m packing a bowl,” you replied, grabbing your herbs, a lighter and the bowl. 

“Right now? In here?” She gasped.

“Is that okay?”

She sighed, “Yeah. Come share.”

The two of you sat on her bed, thirty minutes later, laying against the wall with your heads staring at the ceiling. Your eyelids were lowered, red, and your breathing was slow. 

“I’m hungry,” Claire said, texting on her phone. “Do we have gummy bears? I want gummy bears. But haribo gummy bears. Not those knocks off we used to buy. And some soda. Soda would be so good right now. My mouth is so dry.”

You stayed quiet, eyes focused on the lights overhead. You couldn’t get the image out of your mind. Matthew. And that girl. Kissing. Touching. 

“Her name is Veronica,” Claire said. 

You turned your hear to her, “Huh?”

“Her name is Veronica,” she repeated. “Or Roni for short.” She rolled her eyes. “She, uh, she’s from Vegas. She went to school with...Gube, actually. They dated.”

“Oh...” you nodded. “Are you...are you okay?”

“I — I, yeah, I’m fine,” she shrugged. “It’s just...really inconvenient of him to go back to her right now.”

“Back to her?”

“They’re together. They’re dating. Apparently they got back together this summer.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows together, a thousand thoughts running through your mind at once. “What do you think about that?” Claire asked. 

“Uh...” You shrugged. “I’m surprised anyone actually touches that boy,” you laughed, the sound coming out broken and sad. 

“Yeah...well...Misty says Roni is a big one for Gube. That, um, necklace he wears? She gave it to him years ago. He never took it off.” 

You nodded, “Yeah,” your voice cracked. “Well, that’s...that’s some heavy fixation there.” 

“[y/n]...”

“I should shower. I’m gonna shower.” You went to get off the bed, but Claire grabbed your wrist. You turned to her, and she pushed your hair out of your face. 

“I’m really upset about this, kid,” she said. “Can you...can you just lay with me for a bit?” 

You sighed, gave her a small smile and leaned in to hug her. She held you close, placing one hand on your head and the other on your rest. And she let you rest your head on her chest, as you let silent tears roll down your cheeks. 

Monday morning, you got up at 5 in the morning. You spent 2 hours in the ballet studio, twirling and dancing until your feet went numb. When you returned home, Claire was still asleep and you took a quick shower. You tried on ten different outfits, applied makeup, spent a long time on your hair. You made breakfast, checked for any assignments, surfed social media. And still had an hour before class. 

You chose to walk around campus, locate all your classes, grab some coffee, and then you headed to your first class. Walking through the building, you sipped on your drink, moving absentmindedly roaming the halls. Suddenly, a hand reached out and pulled you into a storage closet. Your scream was cut short, and you jumped as the door closed behind you.

You looked up at see Matthew staring at you, a soft smile on his face. “Hey.”

“I’m going to class,” you muttered, turning to exit the room. But Matthew put his hand on the door knob to stop you.

“Wait, wait,” he pleaded. “Um, do I see you at the party —“

“Yep,” you nodded, not making eye contact with him. 

“So...then, you saw me at the party with—“

“Yep.”

“Okay...[y/n]...”

“I really have to go to class, so, thanks for the detour, but I’m leaving now.” You removed his hand from the knob and left the closet, not looking back. 

You walked into your classroom, swallowing to get rid of the weird feeling in your throat. You set your bag down and took a seat. You attempted to shake Matthew out of your mind, the smell of him, the sight of him, the tension of being so close to him. But it was hard. It may have been the hardest thing ever. 

“Well, well, well,” a voice called to you. “Guess I got lucky, huh?”

You looked up to see Alex, giving you a toothy grin and a look of pure joy. “Alex,” you breathed. “Hi. This is awesome, you’re in here?”

“Yeah,” he took a seat beside you. “Haven’t seen you much since freshman year. This is nice.”

“It sure is.”

So. 

Remember number eight on your list of atrocities against Matthew Gubler? 

Fucked his friend. While said friend was supposed to help Matthew with his project. 

Alex would be the friend. He was gorgeous and kind and so good in bed. You first met in a cinematography class freshman year, where he very boldly asked if you wanted to hang out some time. You smiled, said yes, and that led to the aforementioned sexual encounter. It only happened a handful of times, until the semester was over. Then you didn’t see each other as often.

But he was here now. He was here and he was flirting with you. You were flirting back. You were hurt and upset and confused and so fucking horny, you could burst. So, after classes, you reached out to him and asked if he could help you with a pre class assignment. He told you to come over. You did. 

You didn’t work on the assignment though. 

Starting off pretty hot and heavy, it was a few weeks of meaningless sex until he asked you out. Claire cheered when she heard the news, causing you to give her a confused look. “Why are you so happy that I have a date?” You giggled. 

“Oh...I just — Alex is cute! He’s great, I always wondered what happened to him. You said he was good in the sack and he was always sweet to you. I’m just, so glad you’re happy.”

You gave her a faux smile, “Yeah. I’m happy.” 

Alex’s friend was having a birthday party at his apartment, and Alex insisted you come. Said it was the only way he’d be able to have any fun when everyone got too drunk. You agreed, and when he picked you up that night, you were dressed in a purple romper and diamond earrings. 

“You look beautiful,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss you. 

“Thank you,” you smiled. “You look beautiful, too.” 

He held your hand as he drove to the apartment, as you got out the car, walked up the stairs, entered the living space. He introduced you to everyone you met, his arm around you proudly and your head nuzzled into his chest. 

Watching you across the room was a very irritated Matthew Gubler, who sat with Veronica on his lap and a beer in his hand. You didn’t notice Matthew’s presence for a long time, considering the fact that he was avoiding you, and you were more focused on Alex. 

While talking to Alex’s friends, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. You strolled down the hallway, searching for the restroom. 

“[y/n]!”

You turned around, confused. Matthew marched up to you, his hands in his pocket, his face determined. 

“I have to go to the bathroom,” you told him, and continued to walk. 

He followed you. “So, you dating Alex now?”

“That’s not really your business, now is it?”

He grabbed onto your arm and pulled your body into his, hiding you two behind a corner. “No, but it bugs me.”

“It bugs you?”

“It bugs me. I don’t want you with Alex. Alex is a dick.” 

“Well, not to me—“

Matthew leaned down and kissed you, his hands tightened on your waist. He kissed you like he was starving, mouth open, breath heavy. 

You pushed him away, your eyes closed in shock and ecstasy. No, no, you thought. “Matthew—“

“Let’s leave,” he interjected.

“Huh?”

“Let’s leave. Me and you. Let’s go.”

“No,” you snapped.

“Why not?”

“Because, I’m here with Alex! And you’re here with...her, so, no. I’m staying here, with the guy I came with.”

“C’mon—“

“Matthew, no! No! Are you deaf? Are you dumb? Leave me alone, and go back to your girlfriend.” You suddenly didn’t have to pee anymore, so you returned to Alex and his group of friends. Matthew watched as you took a seat in Alex’s lap, and you pretended not to notice. 

There was radio silence for months. Matthew even removed you on snapchat, and for your sanity, you ignored it. You continued a casual relationship with Alex, and he continued to worship the ground you walked on. A vast change in pace from Matthew. Claire pushed for the Alex relationship hardcore, saying hi to him when came over, giving you guys time alone, tagging alone with you two to parties. 

But every once in a while, you thought about Matthew. When you saw a particular movie, or heard one of his favorite bands, right after you would have sex. And especially on Halloween. Over the summer, he told you all about his costume plans, party plans, and movie marathons he was going to have. And for some reason, like a clown, you just assumed you’d be with him when it happened.

By the time final exams were over, you and Alex considered yourselves exclusive. You strolled into the end of the year party, holding hands and laughing. You’d fallen into a good groove with his friends. They all liked you, you liked them, and you enjoyed their company. While sitting with them, one pulled out a joint, lit it and began to pass it around.

“Want a hit?” Alex asked.

“She’s pretty tiny. Can she handle it?” A friend said. 

You glared at her and took the paper between your lips, inhaling and holding a large amount of smoke. She watched in amazement as you exhaled through your nose, “Well...I stand corrected, princess.”

You took in a sharp breath of air.

And that was just the beginning of the spiral. 

You stayed in rotation of the weed for a long time, until your thoughts were nothing but a mess of words racing everywhere. Your eyes felt heavy, so did your body. And you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

You were wondering was there ever really a connection or were you just highly sexually compatible? Did Matthew ever have feelings for you or did he just want one thing? Why does kissing him and fucking him and just talking to him feel so different? How come when everything falls apart, you want Matthew? How come when everything is going well, you want Matthew? Need to talk to Matthew. Where’s Matthew? Where’s Matthew? 

“[y/n]!” Alex called. “You’re high as fuck,” he laughed. “What are you thinking about?”

Matthew. 

“Come here,” and he pulled you into a kiss. And when you pulled away, feeling nothing, nothing at all, you realized you needed Matthew. You needed to feel something. But Matthew wasn’t here. And you wish he was here. Where’s Matthew? 

Tears were springing to your eyes, but you quickly began to cough, distracting yourself with a new sensation. You rose to your feet, and exited the room, much to Alex’s disapproval. He watched you rush past him, his face laced with confusion.

Everyone you passed by looked like Matthew. Why did everyone look like Matthew? You missed Matthew. And this was unfair. You wiped at the tears in your eyes, but they were already gliding down your cheeks. They burned your skin and it made you cry more. You were blinded. And way too high to notice Matthew - the real Matthew - entering the hallway. 

His eyes were redder than red, a lot like yours. His movements were slow. But something told him to reach out for you. Like a magnet. And you fell into his arms. It took him a whole second to realize it was you, but he did. 

“[y/n]?” he whispered. “Oh, my God, [y/n]. What’s wrong? What happened?” His hands moved to cup your face, his thumbs wiping the tears on your cheek. 

“[y/n]!” Oh, no. Alex. “What are you doing? Where are you going?” 

At that point, you looked up at Matthew. Focused in on him. Said his name. But his attention had turned to Alex. And he was pissed. You could tell. 

“Wait, wait, Matthew, wait,” you pleaded. 

“What the hell did you do to her?” He shouted, holding you close. 

“Wait, Matthew, he didn’t—“

“Gube, let her go, dude!.” Alex snapped, reaching for your arm. 

And that sent Matthew through the roof. He released you from his arms and moved towards Alex, delivering a swift punch to his face. You’d never seen Matthew so much as cuss someone out, so this. This. This was hard to register. Nonetheless, you screamed his name, attempting to push both of them away from the brawl. But it was useless. 

Two guys had to step in and separate Alex and Matthew, pulling them to opposing sides of the hallway. And you had to decide who to follow. It wasn’t a hard decision to make. 

You kept a good 100 feet behind Matthew the whole time, watching him stomp his way to his residence hall. You knew exactly how to get into the building, but weren’t sure you should. You’d never seen him so angry. So red. So primal. 

But, Matthew. 

Oh, God, Matthew. What would you say? What would you do? Did he want to see you? Did he want to be alone? Was his roommate there? You paced for 20 minutes, freezing your ass off outside the dormitory. Your mind was made up when you found the side entrance and let yourself in, marching up the steps. Now or never. Now or never. And you needed to see Matthew now. 

You perched yourself in front of his door, paused, and proceeded to knock with full force. “Be home, be home, be home,” you whispered. 

He was home.

He came to the door, shirtless, his face bruised, his hair tasseled, and that stupid, ridiculous gold chain around his neck. And you’d never wanted to suck a dick so badly in your entire life. You instantly imagined grabbing him, kissing him, pulling him close. But you didn’t do that. You stood there, looking like an idiot, until he spoke. 

“What are you doing here, [y/n]?”

You hadn’t even thought about it. It just felt right to follow him. “I—I wanted...I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

He shrugged, “I’m alright.” His face was stern. Stoic. No emotion showed on his features and it made you sick.

“Oh,” you said. “Okay.” 

You stared at each other for a long time. You just wanted him to say it. Ask you to stay. Ask you to come in. To admit it. But he wouldn’t. So you had to walk away. 

“Okay,” you nodded, sadly, and ducked your head as you headed towards the exit. “Okay.” You sniffled, patting at your eyes as they watered. 

Matthew watched you go. His bottom lip caught between his teeth, his shoulders relaxing as he exhaled. “[y/n],” he called. 

You’d stopped in your tracks.

“You...you were pretty stoned at the party,” he told you. “Are you sober?” 

You turned your body to face him. You thought about his eyes. How red they were. How slow he moved. How you had both been utterly and totally high as hell. “I’m sober,” you said. Honestly. After all of tonight’s events, and the sheer shock of seeing Matthew, being so close to him again, you had sobered up. “Believe me, I’m sober. Are you?”

Matthew licked him lips, nodding as he sighed. He stepped out into the hallway, and pushed the door to his dorm open. He signaled for you to enter. 

You gave him a quick and sad smile, and you avoided eye contact with him as you stepped into the empty room. He led the way to his private room, and let you in, closing the door behind you. You kept your back to him, arms crossed over your chest. 

He sighed, “I’m—Veronica and I broke up. Actually, she broke up with me...again. So, y’know, it wasn’t much of a surprise, but—“

“Matthew,” you cut him off, turning to him. “I need a favor.”

He hesitated, then his voice was strong, “Anything.”

“I leave for home next week for Christmas break. And since, I can’t seem to figure out what the hell about you is driving me insane, Matthew Gubler, I’m going to need time. Space. If you need time and space. So, you need to make that decision.”

“Okay.”

“But right now, take your clothes off,” you ordered. 

“Okay.”

He stared at you lustfully, just like you wanted, his body moving on autopilot to remove his shorts and boxers. You mirrored his movements, and took off your dress, subsequently tossing your bra and panties onto the floor. He grabbed onto your body and kissed you, one hand tangled in your hair and the other gripping your waist. He pushed you back onto his bed, falling on top of you and kissing your neck. You held onto his torso as he made way to your collarbone, nibbling on it lightly. He pulled away and gropped your breasts, massaging them with his fingers. 

He was practically drooling over them, his eyes focused solely on your boobs. He leaned down and sucked on your nipple, while his hand slid down between your legs. He felt around your core, and slowly slid two fingers into you. You threw your head back, and moaned. 

Matthew kissed a trail from your breast to your hips. He began to kiss your inner thighs, kneeling down in front of you and pulling you up to his face. He pressed his tongue against  your clit, working his muscle in an up and down motion. You moved your hips against his face and his fingers, gasping weakly. You forgot how good his mouth felt, but this was huge, huge reminder. You gripped onto his hair and swore under your breath. 

He noticed your thighs tightening around his face, and increased his intensity and speed. Your back arched off of the mattress, you whimpered into your mouth, and your chest was heaving. You let out a long groan as you came on his face, your entire body tensing up. He withdrew his fingers from you, and licked up from your core to your navel to your breasts. He kissed your neck, then your lips. And he sucked his fingers clean, holding eye contact with you.

Overwhelmed, you pulled him in by his face and kissed him passionately. He grunted against your lips, rubbing his cock on your core. He pushed into you, his jaw dropping and his forehead against yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist and this encouraged him to thrust into you. Matthew held you in his arms, moaning into your ear as he moved his hips. 

You kissed his jaw, sucking on the skin until you felt it pulse between your lips. You could feel his muscles moving under your palms, and his cock striking a sensitive spot inside of you. It felt like you were crumbling, getting weaker by the second. But when you felt the chain hitting your chin, you wired back to life. You gripped onto the necklace and twisted it around your fingers, angrily biting your lip. 

As he slammed into you, you muttered a soft “fuck!” and yanked on the chain. It popped off of his neck, and it was cathartic. You moaned and threw it to a far corner of the room. You reached down and rubbed your clit quickly, panting as Matthew’s body began to tremble. He kept his gaze focused on you as you let him fuck you into another orgasm, and your hips rolled against his in an eager rhythm. 

“Oh, fuck!” Matthew exclaimed, pulling out of you just in time. He released himself onto your stomach, moaning and gasping for air. 

The mattress creaked as he laid down beside you, collapsing with a thud. The two of you stared at the ceiling, naked and breathy and covered in sweat. You rested your hand on Matthew’s chest, and he intertwined your fingers. 

The next week, you were headed to the train station to get home for Christmas. Not knowing what to say to each, Matthew and you hadn’t talked since last week. You sat in the back of an uber, your suitcase at your side, when your phone vibrated in your lap. You picked it up and recognized Matthew’s name flashing on your screen. 

You sighed, swiped to answer, and held the phone to your ear, “Hello?”

“I don’t want space.”

“I—“ You stuttered. 

“I want as little space as possible.”

You were stunned, quiet, “Okay.”

The line went dead, and you set your phone down. You bit down on your lip. But the smile was still clear.

[PART 5.]

[darling-i-read-it]

Sleep

V x reader

Word Count:900 

Warnings: nothing I don’t think!

Author’s Note: I hope this was what you wanted love! I subtley dropped in some phantom because I can so I hope you don’t mind! I’m sorry it’s so short I’m a mess today

Requested: by anon, Hi babe, may I ask for a V x reader where V talks with his s/o until she falls asleep on him! Just, a lot of fluff

Summary: the request 

Genre: fluff

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

(not my gif)

V had the best voice. Like the very best voice. 

In fact that was what made you fall in love with him in the first place. You hadn’t seen his face yet so you were stuck on how much you loved his voice. He articulated things well and he had the best subtle accent that you had ever heard of. 

It soothed you. Granted, it could probably soothe anyone. But you told him that often and it had gone to his head. You still loved it though. 

You sat in his home that you now called your own home. You loved him enough to become a felon of the state for him but that did mean that you were confined to the space unless you were with him. 

You didn’t mind really. You were sure that his home, the lively place that it was, was better than anywhere out there.

“I present to you, dessert,” he said happily. V walked over to where you were on the couch and handed you one of the two plates he was holding. You grabbed it and smiled.

“This looks amazing.” 

“It’s a delicacy from France. Very popular but also very plain. I added some chocolates in there for you.” You smiled. You took a bite and finished it within seconds. Granted it wasn’t very big so you didn’t feel too bad about eating it quickly.

“This is delicious V. I mean it.” 

He had also finished his. He took both plates and placed them on the coffee table, noticing that you were reading something when he had come over.

“What are you reading?” he inquired. You picked up the book from your lap and showed it to him. 

“Phantom Of The Opera. You have so many books in the bedroom I figured I should start plowing through them.” He took it and held his spot with your thumb while also looking through the pages around it to see where you were. You had only just barely started it and found yourself in the spot where Christine was getting her first solo due to the main actress being unable. 

“Wonderful story. I think I have the original film somewhere here too.”

“It’s presented in that story as more of a creature feature though. I don’t think that’s exactly right,” you suggested. He smiled gently and looked up at you.

“Why is that?”

“I haven’t gotten very far in at all but from what I know of the story the Phantom loves Christine in a very bad way. He wants to own her and control the opera house and such but I feel for him. I suppose I’m a sucker for a guy in a mask though,” you said with a sly smile. 

Your eyes were getting droopy and he could tell you weren’t going to last much longer awake.

“I suppose you are.” 

“You want to read some to me?” you suggested. He nodded. He loved reading to you or talking to you. Perhaps it was the fact that he simply loved to hear his own voice but he knew how much it soothed you as well.

“I would love to.”

You smiled happily and cuddled into his side. You put your blanket over his lap as well as it was a very large blanket and he put his feet up on the coffee table. It was always so cozy in V’s home and you had grown to love it very much. 

He cleared his throat and began to read.

“On the first landing, Sorelli ran against the Comte de Chagny, who was coming upstairs. The count, who was generally so calm, seemed excited,” he read.

He ended up reading about thirty pages before realizing that you had clearly fallen asleep on his lap. He stopped reading and looked down at you, a faint smile on his face. He brushed a piece of hair out of your face so that he could see your resting eyes.

V loved you. He loved you more than anything he had ever known. He became a man when he was beside you, no longer an idea .

He got comfy because he was going to be there a while.

He had no heart to move you.

[greensparty]

Takeaways from Little Steven’s Memoir “Unrequited Infatuations”

Steven Van Zandt, also known as Little Steven, is a member of two of the most powerful NJ families: the longtime guitarist for Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band and as Silvio on The Sopranos. As if that weren’t enough, he hosts the syndicated radio show Underground Garage where he sings the praises of garage rock and hosted the Underground Garage Festival in 2004 in NYC (I attended it!), has a record label Wicked Cool Records (The Empty Hearts’ The Second Album was released on the label last year), founded the music education foundation Rock and Roll Forever Foundation, and he is an activist for several causes. He has also released several solo albums with Little Steven and the Disciples of Soul (read my concert review of their 2017 show in Boston here).

For someone so strongly affiliated with New Jersey (what’s more NJ than Springsteen and Sopranos?), it might surprise some to learn that he was actually born right here in Boston. Until the age of 6, his family actually lived in Watertown, MA, just a few blocks from where I live now. Sadly, Watertown does not come up in his new memoir Unrequited Infatuations, recently released by Hachette Books. 

book cover

Here are just some of the things I learned in reading this book:

1) As a teen in Middletown, NJ, SVZ frequently went to Jack’s Music Shoppe, a record store in Red Bank, NJ. I’ve actually been to that record store and Kevin Smith fans will recall it being a location that Holden and Hooper X have a conversation while browsing in Chasing Amy!

2) Lots of Beatle references! Its no surprise that as a musician who was a teen when The Beatles appeared on Ed Sullivan Show in 1964, SVZ is a big Beatle fan, but I literally lost count of the vast references he made to their music, their trajectory and their albums! He said about Lennon’s death in 1980 it “hit me so hard that I expected we’d cancel. But Bruce gave me a wonderful speech about how people needed us more than ever in moments like this”. SVZ recruited Ringo and his son Zak for “Sun City”. Both Yoko and son Sean joined him for an anti-apartheid concert in NYC in 1986. And there’s several references to the Fab Four’s albums and songs throughout.

Bruce Springsteen and SVZ

3) SVZ and Vini “Mad Dog” Lopez were bandmates for a while! E Street Band’s original drummer Lopez was the drummer from 1972-74 and played on the first two albums. SVZ didn’t join until 1975. But pre-E Street, Springsteen’s band Steel Mill featured Lopez on drums and SVZ on bass. There’s more than a few stories about Lopez.

A few years back, I was working on a music-based TV project I was developing and for the demo reel I was putting together, I contacted Lopez, and interviewed him. He was so cool and I’ve remained in contact with him since. In 2014, the E Street Band were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, including both Lopez and SVZ.

4) SVZ almost quit E Street in 1979, but then the Boss asked him to produce The River with him.

5) When talking about the art of covering a popular song, he called Johnny Cash’s cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt” the “most dramatic cover of all time”.

6) SVZ decided to use music to protest apartheid in South Africa in the mid-80s by putting together the all-star protest song “Sun City” by Artists United Against Apartheid. I’ve written about this song many times and how I bought the single at age 9 even though I didn’t understand a lot of the political content. The music video was directed by Jonathan Demme, who would go on to direct SVZ and E Street Band’s video for “Murder Inc.” and “American Skin (41 Shots)”. SVZ wrote about how Demme became a lifelong friend and how they only had him for one day while he was shooting Something Wild, so they needed to shoot the video guerrilla-style. Hart Perry filmed the London portion of the video, while Demme did the NYC portion. He flat out says that if anyone knew “Sun City” it was because of the video on MTV and BET. I, myself, remember seeing it on V66. 

SVZ and Jonathan Demme on the set of the “Sun City” music video

Working with Demme on “Sun City” lead to the soundtrack for Something Wild, which SVZ and Arthur Baker wrote “You Don’t Have to Cry” for Jimmy Cliff.

7) SVZ briefly talked about his work with Lone Justice on their second album. Not sure why he was so humble that he didn’t address co-writing their best song on their debut album, “Sweet Sweet Baby (I’m Falling)”.

Peter Wolf with SVZ and the Disciples of Soul at Orpheum Theatre 9/29/17

8) Peter Wolf convinced him to do The Sopranos. After David Chase offered him a part on his new TV series despite the fact that SVZ hadn’t acted before, SVZ met with his good friend Peter Wolf, who convinced him to take the part: “If its a success, great. If not, no one will remember it.“ When I saw SVZ in concert in 2017, Wolf came out as the special guest for the finale. 

SVZ as Silvio Dante on The Sopranos

Also - David Chase wanted SVZ to play Tony initially. But that was a bit too much of a gamble for HBO to take on someone who never acted before. Chase wanted SVZ on the series and thus the character of Silvio was developed. SVZ had come up with his backstory and Chase incorporated him into the series.

For info on Unrequited Infatuations: https://www.hachettebooks.com/titles/stevie-van-zandt/unrequited-infatuations/9780306925429/

[queensgaybeach1d]

HELLOOO, I just discovered your blog, shame on me. So, I read your masterpost about the stunts in the industry (great work btw) and was wondering how to tell if something is real or purely pr. Would you mind giving me a few pointers ?? Answer however and whenever you can.

Hello Sweetie,

Thank you so much for your lovely words. I would love to help you dig deeper into the PR industry. In fact, I did some research myself and I stumbled upon a great confirmation on how everything works. I think it is just the right fit for you, sweetheart.

Please take your time reading the post and if you have any questions or suggestions, please do not hesitate to ask me. Have a great day and enjoy!

Kisses,

Suman 😊

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How to spot a PR relationship?! 

This post is made for everyone who would like to learn how to spot a fake relationship in Hollywood. This information is supported by a very reliable source. The name of the source is Jack Ketsoyan, he set up two PR relationships himself. If you would try to compare this to your favourite Hollywood couple, you might be surprised of the outcome. I wish you all the best while reading this and if you have any questions/suggestions please do not hesitate to ask. Enjoy! :)

 This is the link of the podcast about the PR relationships (skip to 5.40). I will make a little summary of the very important things Jack said. There is also another man who is speaking about this subject. His name is Christopher and he is a lawyer who has worked with cases like these for a long time.

 (Please note that I am in no way hating on anyone. I have a strong dislike for all ‘’beards’’, but what they do with their lives is their responsibility. Therefore I mean no harm to any of these people. It would be very sad if any of these people would do it because they needed money for their families. If that was the case I would truly feel sorry for them, but the thing is they want to become famous by dating someone else who put his/her hard work in his/her career. That it just not fair. There are plenty of ways to become famous by dedication, hard work and staying yourself.)

I want to give compliments to the lovely @Totallylost4you on twitter. She made me aware of the podcast.

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-’’To hide the artist’s sexuality; boosting of the careers.’’ --> (Louis, Harry, Zayn, Liam and Niall. Also, Kristen Stewart, Cara Delevigne and Taylor Swift) -->

‘’It is more common on the male side than on the female side. There are certain celebrities who were, back in the day, in the closet and it was not okay to be out. We live in a completely different time nowadays, these days being gay is okay. So back in the day that was the biggest secret, it was a big taboo, if a certain high profiled male, the heartthrob is all of a sudden gay, they were not going to get the bigger roles anymore. They were going to be type casted, so that was the big way of hiding things. Them hiding their sexuality was dating a female who would keep them in the limelight basically and cover it up.’’  [about closeting] ‘’Times have changed, it still happens, but a lot has changed.’’ --> There are still people who would not like attending a Harry Styles (the heartthrob) concert when he comes out as gay.

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-’’To be able to sell the hype of it.’’ --> (Whenever a picture of Taylor and Tom or Louis and Eleanor comes out, people are quick to retweet, post and talk about what happened. Within no time the pictures have traveled through the internet. Which automatically means that a lot of people have seen it. All of this gives the label/couple/artist attention and money. --> Whether it is bad attention or good attention, attention means money.) a few examples of these couples are also: Haylor, Zigi and Elounor.

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-’’To sell tickets to concerts or movies.’’ --> 1D world tours and solo tours. That is also why beards like Camille Rowe, Eleanor Calder and Maya Henry attend their concerts. As for movies think about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (who is gay) fake dating, moments after Twilight came out. Think about 1D bringing their fake girlfriends to the world premiere and Zayn and Perrie getting engaged a second after. The purpose of these events are attention. Sweethearts, whenever people go to these shows/movies all they will focus on is 1D and their ‘girlfriends’. Photos will spread faster than ever and people will talk about how ‘real’ they are. Their aim is to kill two birds with one stone; making them look like a ‘real’ couple whilst promoting their movie/album.

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-’’To sell albums.’’ --> (Zigi, Chiam, Elounor, Hamille, Nailee, Haylor.) Let us be honest, are they not the biggest reasons why antis buy the album? Just to see what stuff they write about their fake girlfriends/boyfriends. Just to see how ‘Camille’ pronounces ‘’Coucou’’or just because Gigi Hadid starred in Zayn’s music video. Or maybe to finally know the ‘truth’ about Taylor’s fake relationships.  

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-’’It's all about the hype at the moment. Especially with the social media world.’’ --> I am going to point out an important thing Jack said. He said ‘’especially with the social media world.’’ Remember when there were only rumours of Louis and Eleanor being back together? The whole fandom tweeted about it. This made it popular and that was the solid moment 1D’s label knew that Elounor 2.0 would do it for them. They would earn a lot by it. The same thing counts for Zigi, Chiam, Haylor, Hamille. Hamille is a good example too. When all of you heard that Harry wrote a song about her and that her voice was going to be included in his song, what happened? Exactly, everyone went nuts and made sure to listen to that exact song. That is exactly what they want. They want that power over you, that is what gives them the money. Another example, how fast do you think solo Zayn stans and Directioners tweeted about a ‘power couple’ when the news broke that Zayn and Gigi are ‘expecting a child’? How fast did people open their social media accounts when Kylie Jenner was pregnant for the Kardashian’s 10th anniversary? (Social media does A LOT. Whenever a picture of Eleanor (beard) and Clifford (Louis’ dog) arrives on the internet, people automatically assume they are together in a room. This, is not the case. That is how convenient social media is to arranged relationships. Why start a rumour by hiring newspapers instead of posting a message on social media? It is much cheaper and more people will know about it in less than four hours.)

Promoting certain brand like Coca Cola (Elounor), YSL, Gucci, Vogue (Zigi) and Hugo Boss are also a part of it. Celebrities wearing those brands make their fans want to buy it too, think of the Kardashians promoting Adidas and other expensive brands. Also think of people like Briana Jungwirth promoting flat tummy tea. This is called ‘celebrity branding.’

Tell me, how many times do you get HQ pic of your PR couple on your phone? People tend to go out of their mind when pictures come out. That is the immediate effect Hollywood has on social media/ you. That gives them the promo they need, even during quarantine the beards post pictures of themselves, making you think they are together when in reality they are not. :)

{About why Jack hooked an arranged relationship up himself} --> ‘’It was more of a mutual agreement between the agents. {Tells a story about an actor getting bad reviews for a movie and in order to let people focus on something else they got the actor a girl, so the media would focus on the girl instead of the bad movie.}’’ -->  ‘’Just a one year deal. Basically they finished of the press and the international press and then they went their separate ways, because she did not want to do a two year deal.’’ {interviewer asks if it worked} --> ‘’It worked.’’ -->  A few examples of (approximately) a one-year deal: Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift, Niall Horan and Hailee Steinfield and Louis Tomlinson and Danielle Campbell. It is also good to point out that the beard can decide whether she wants to continue or not, but the celebrity has to do what the agent arranges.

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{Interviewer asks what reasons people might have to agree to one of these PR relationships} --> Different reasons, that could be to deflect attention away from a controversy (damage control. think of something Larry or Ziam related happening and the next day Zigi and Elouno are papped. Or fans finding out Louis is in the same country as Harry and the next day they will let Elouno do a pap walk. Another example is when Ziammies find out a Zigi picture is photoshopped, the next day you will see Zigi in person. This happens when their stunts fail). So if an actor has drugs and alcohol problems they may want to give the appearance that they have settled down and are in a committed relationships so that they can banked for films. Or they are going to be able to get bonded and get work and people will trust them, because they have settled down. It also could be done to create a brand. Two celebs getting together and 'now there's this tremendous interest about them being a power couple.' [...] We create strong provision against the disclosure of any negative facts against the celebrity - with consequences. So these agreements need to be structured with a hold back of money so that over time if they have complied with the agreement and not disclosed ehh no personal information and violation the agreement then they would be entitled the payment, so under the agreement. " --> The last part might be difficult to understand, because the lawyer uses difficult words, but what he is actually saying is very important. He says if the celebrities who are in the PR relationship have done their part (parading around with each other) then they will receive their money (please correct me if I am wrong). The host also confirmed that contracts like these are the reason why a lot of celebrities do not admit they had a PR relationships.

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Clues on how to spot a PR relationship:

-‘’The main clue you would see is if, you know, a certain high profiled male is dating a female (or when a high profiled female is dating a regular male), who was not high profile. All of a sudden, she is, overnight, the most talked about girl in Hollywood and everyone want a piece of them. That is the biggest thing, you know, it is such a career boost for the female that some females end up taking the deal.’’ --> Zigi, Elounor, Chiam, Brouis, Haylor, Taylor and Calvin. How does the world know Eleanor Calder? Because of Louis Tomlinson. No one knew her before, except her family. How did Gigi gain so many followers? Because she started dating Zayn Malik. Gigi already had a platform for herself, but she gained a lot of followers by dating Zayn. Zayn also gained followers by dating Gigi. Gigi needed promo and Zayn was in the spotlight, because he just ‘left 1D.’ This made him the perfect target. I hope all of you also notice that when beards/fake girlfriends post pictures of them with their fake boyfriend, it gets way more likes than their usual pictures.

{What was the benefit for the girl in the scenario?} --> ‘’Ehm, she has a huge career at the moment. She benefit from that by becoming a household name (someone that is well known) and getting bigger roles than she would have. She would use to be the 3rd or the 4th lead in any auditions or any jobs that she was getting. She then became the first lead. She got a great career boost out of it, for sure.’’ --> Gigi Hadid, Eleanor Calder, Sophia Smith, Cheryl Cole, Maya, Camille Rowe and Kendall Jenner are just a few examples.

How did the world know Townes? Because ‘Harry named’ her in one of his songs. How did the world know about Maya Henry? Because Liam Payne started dating her. Before this, she was just a fan. How did Cheryl Cole get the attention back? Because of baby gate and by fake dating Liam Payne. How did Briana gain so many followers? Because Louis Tomlinson fans gave her the attention and because she participated in faking a pregnancy. How did Shawn and Camilla become a couple in the spotlight? Because people have always shipped them, ever since the beginning and their label gave the fans what they wanted. How did Kim Kardashian become famous? A *** tape of her and Ray J leaked and she became famous. Now, she is a lot richer and more famous than he is. A quick note, not many people know how Kim Kardashian became famous. They only really know her from Keeping Up With The Kardashians. The newer generation does not know about the tape scandal, and that is what they do. You need to dig a little deeper to see that. This all is an on-going cycle and it will not stop unless we all stop believing it. 😊

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  What do they do in order to make a PR relationship look real?

{Interviewer asks what the clauses in an arranged relationships contract are} --> ‘’An arranged relationship is estranged by definition. So certainly we are going to see requests that are equally odd. They are certainly going to have requirements as to how they hold themselves out to the public as a couple. This would mean appearances at award shows, parties or events together as a couple and that there would be requirements maybe for specific events.’’ --> Eleanor attending Jay’s wedding and being ‘maid of honor’, Calvin and Taylor at Award shows, Elounor at the fashions show 2013, Haylor and their NYE ‘kiss’, Zigi at the MET gala and Chiam at the Brits, celebs at after parties with their ‘girlfriends’. All of these couples have also pictures with each other’s family members. That made a lot of you think they are close and real, well my loves, now you finally know that it is all part of a PR stunt. The fake girlfriends also have to look supportive, that is why they have to be there at concerts, soccer matches, award shows etcetera. 😊

Remember when Eleanor (beard) posted a picture of herself and in the background you could see a picture of her and Louis in 2012 and ‘Louis’ written on a board? Remember when she posted a picture of herself with her and Louis’ boots in the background in 2018? All of these things are there to make it look like they truly live together and  that they truly own each other’s stuff. The same thing counts for Haylor’s airplane necklace. Do you genuinely think they did that by accident? No, that is the purpose of the whole picture. 😊

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‘’Then there is going to be particularly some none disclosure issues surrounding them as to what cannot be said about the relationship and what needs to be said. There could be a script even as to what they have to say if asked about the relationships. There would be photo sessions showing them as a couple. And then I have seen issues of sexual relationships and specific whether this would happen or not happen in an agreement. But if it is truly a PR relationships then sex would not be a part of that relationship, because it is not real.’’ --> Loves, do you remember a moment when someone asked a celebrity about his/her relationships and they stuttered and looked uncomfortable, or they just said something wrong or embarrassing or tried to talk themselves out of it? Well, that happens when you have to make up stuff that never happened.  Louis Tomlinson confirmed his interviews are scripted, so this one is just an extra thick layer of confirmation. I also recall Gigi doing a live and someone asked about Zayn and she just stuttered and looked away, not knowing how to answer a question. (I think there have definitely been times when two people who were in an arranged relationship gave different answers to the same question, why? Because they do not know anything about each other.) Here is an example of a moment that is repeated and scripted about Louis’ ‘relationship’ with Eleanor, even know we have legit proof that is not what happened:

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Now I can hear all your lovely brains working and thinking whether a celebrity is willing to sign a contract like that or if their label is making them sign it. Well, if you have read my previous masterpost about the music industry you can see confirmations of the label making the artist their puppet. They own you, so if they think you should have a girlfriend to hide gay rumours then they will give you one. ��A label cannot force you anything’, but it does make you sign a contract. When you sign the contract without reading it carefully, then your label will mess you up. In those contracts they do not write ‘’Taylor Swift has to agree to arranged relationships.’’ They write stuff like ‘’When signing the contract, Taylor Swift allows the label to make changes in order to get her to fame.’’ Of course Taylor (and other artists) would think that they mean changing her outfit and looks, but no. The label thinks being gay is something that will not get people enough fame. So what do they do? They change her, they change her sexuality. They closet her and even though Taylor and other LGBTQ artists do not want that. You cannot deny because when you do so, the label will show you the contract you signed. A contract like that is never written literally, they can manipulate their words. To the label ‘’being gay or a part of the LGBTQ+ community’’ falls under ‘’making changes’’ in order to make her famous. Of course there are celebrities who willingly closet themselves for various reasons. I hope to create a single post about how devious these contracts are for you all! 😊

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Here are a few things I hope you have learned from this: 😊

 - Fake relationships still exist and they will always exist. It has been confirmed, so no one can deny this anymore.

 - The girl and boy have to go to special events, such as award shows, family dinners and weddings in order to make it look real.

 - Homophobia is still a thing and the biggest reason why arranged relationships exist.

 - The beard has a contract too, so your idol has no say in how long she can or cannot stay. If she does good then she will stay. (I see many people say that Louis chose Eleanor because they are friends and that is why she is back, but he actually has no say in anything. Your idol is their product to sell. Your idol is basically a marionette.)

 -The PR team does everything to make it look like they are truly together, think of photos of each other in each other’s homes and ‘personal gifts.’

 -Celebrities get an enormous boost on their social media accounts when they start being part of an arranged relationship. Something I have always thought was a bit odd, is the fact that Eleanor never created an insta account until her and Louis’ ‘relationship’ had its peak; in the middle of June 2012. When in reality, insta was created in 2010. She also created twitter in 2012. Exactly when the first few big events were attended by them. (I genuinely think she did that, because everyone wanted to see more of her. Plus, she has always wanted to be a fashion blogger and this was her ‘big moment’ to do so.)

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The credits for this post go to @Totallylost4you. They made me aware of the podcast and they continue to shine light on hidden treasures like this one. They also hardly get credits for their solid hard work and I hope they will continue doing this! Thank you!

Thank you so much for your attention. If you have any question/suggestion, please do not hesitate to ask/tell me! I wish all of you the best and please stay safe. Have an amazing day!

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from the movie “Dogma”

“I’m as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll.”

“May I continue uninterrupted?”

“Mention something from a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everyone’s a theology scholar!”

“Read that book again sometime. Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined. It stinks.”

“So you were an artist? Big deal.”

“That’s why he’s the King, and you’re a schmuck.”

“ I repeat; this is not a drill. This is the Apocalypse. ”

“ We call this piece "The Fecalator.” One look at it and your target shits him or herself.“

” I just love to fuck with the clergy, man, I just love it.“

"Let’s kill people.”

“Ah, Sweet Jesus! Did you have to use the whole can?!”

“Or you’ll do what exactly? Hit me with that…fish?”

“Honestly, you bottom feeders and your arrogance, you think everybody’s just trying to get in your knickers.”

“Do you go around drenching everybody that comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals?”

“I am to charge you with a holy crusade.”

“What’s the fine print?”

“I hate when people need it spelled out for them!”

“We’re here to pick up chicks.”

“Well, it’s a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it’s not nearly as impressive.”

“How am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? ”

“What work did you do? You lit a few fires.”

“Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.”

“You’re a man of principle.”

“We figure an abortion clinic’s a good place to meet loose women.”

“You’ll offer us sex as a reward?”

“Fucking Breakfast Club; all these stupid kids actually show up for detention.”

“Movies are fucking bullshit.”

“This is gonna sound really bad. I can’t believe I’m even thinking about this, but…”

"Someone told me I’d meet you and you’d take me some place I was suppose to go.”

“I feel like Han Solo, you’re Chewie, and she’s Ben Kenobi and we’re in that fucked up bar!”

“She’s the slut. Booong!”

“All right, well lets say we’re caught in a situation where we have like five minutes left to live. I don’t know, a bomb or something’s gonna go off; would you fuck us then?”

“Tell me something nobody knows.”

“When you do it, you’re thinking about guys.”

“Wars, bigotry, televangelism.”

“You’re saying having beliefs is a bad thing?”

“My eyes are open. For the first time, I get it.”

“Ours was designed to be a life of servitude and worship, and bowing and scraping and adoration.”

“You know, all I’m saying is that maybe one of us needs a little nap…”

“I think we may have to dispatch our would-be dispatchers.”

“See, don’t let your sympathies get the best of you. They did me, once. ”

“I’ve heard a rant like this before.”

“I have seen what happens to the proud when they take on the throne. ”

“Would you - could you - have believed me? You had to come to it gradually. Only now, after all you’ve seen, could you accept the truth.”

“I don’t want this. It’s too big.”

“It’s unfair! It’s unfair to ask a child to shoulder that responsibility, and it’s unfair to ask you to do the same.”

“I wish I could take it all back. But I can’t. This is who you are.”

“Everything I am is a lie.”

“No one can take that away from you, not even God. ”

“I guess this means no more cheating on my taxes.”

“Come on, demon, I wanna see you try that shit on someone who’s already dead!”

“And the pawns are moving into place as we speak…”

“But then your kind came along, and made it so much worse.”

“But true to his irresponsible nature, man won’t own up to being its engineer, so he blames his dark deeds on my ilk!”

“I’d rather not exist than go back to that…and if everyone has to go down with me, so be it.”

“The whole fucking world’s against us, dude, I swear to God. ”

“If I had a dick, I’d go get laid.”

“I think that God is dead.”

“I can’t wait to die.”

“Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear.”

“I’m responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.”

“The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them.”

“Don’t you think it’s time we went home?”

“No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air.”

“What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you, lady? Why the fuck did you hug my head? ”

“What the fuck is this, The Piano? Why ain’t this broad talking?”

“You of anyone should know that tits don’t make a woman.”

“But I’m a fuckin’ demon.”

“Guys like us just don’t fall out of the fucking sky, you know.”

“Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don’t fall out of the sky, you know.”

“You’re Catholic, can’t you talk to them?”

“Consequences schmonsequences.”

“Snootch to the motherfuckin’ nootch!”

“Let it never be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results.”

“You can’t be anal-retentive if you don’t have an anus. ”

“Ladies and gentlemen, you have been judged guilty of sinning against our almighty God, and I promise you, you shall pay for your trespasses, in blood!”

“I’m feeling a little exposed here…”

“Wings, now!”

“I know they were just kids, but we kicked their fucken pube-less asses!”

“Anyone who isn’t dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.”

“Are you saying you believe?”

“I’m telling you, man, this ceremony is a big mistake.”

“Go back to your paper routes, you Mighty Duck fucks.”

“Very basic strategy. If your enemies know where you are, then don’t be there.”

“Your continued existence is a mockery of morality.”

“You’re his father, you sick fuck.”

“You, on the other hand, are an innocent. You lead a good life.”

“You have more skeletons in your closet than the rest of this assembled party. I cannot even mention them aloud.”

“You’re awfully nude.”

“You know, maybe you’re wrong about this slaughter thing.”

“The major sins never change.”

“What, are you insinuating that I don’t have what it takes anymore?”

“Get me a… Holy Bartender.”

“Not born. SHIT into existence.”

“I can take anyone I meet and give a zillion and nine ideas a second, but I can’t keep any for myself.”

“I have issues with anyone who treats God as a burden instead of a blessing.”

“You people don’t celebrate your faith; you mourn it.”

“Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains got to wake up.”

“You were martyred?”

“I can’t believe we forgot about the magazine.”

“Smoke that motherfucker like it ain’t no thang!”

“NOBODY IS FUCKING ME! YOU GOT THAT!?”

“If you don’t pipe down, I’m going to yank your sack off like a paper towel.”

“Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what should be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus.”

“Well, I say we get drunk, because I’m all out of ideas.”

“Oh no, I’ve seen way too many Bond movies to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan, no matter how close you may think you are to winning.”

“You’re looking at eons of repression getting purged.”

“If only they’d let us jerk off.”

“Quit killing people, that’s high profile.”

“So do you do anal? Is it true that chicks fart if you blast ‘em in the ass?”

“The man was right about you. And I am going to go home and tell him so.”

“Quit leering at me. People are gonna think I just broke up with you.”

“You know, I hear pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester.”

“You’re a pure soul… but you didn’t say "God bless you” when I sneezed.“

"Holy shit, it’s the Pope!”

“Ever the fucking apple polisher!”

“Hey Big Bird! Wanna play the Counting Game? Count the shells, Sucker Duck!”

“Snoogans.”

“So this is all about revenge.”

“After the first couple million years, escape from hell became my all consuming reason.”

“You mean, I’m pregnant?”

“You think someone threw him out of a plane with a message written on him like in Con Air? You ever see that flick?”

“It’s the living dead! Kill it! Kill it!”

“Wait a second! Between guys with wings, guys falling out of the sky, and guys trying like hell to fuck me, I think I’ve been pretty patient so far, and I’m not taking another step until you tell me where the hell you came from!”

“I came from Heaven.”

“Is this why I had to come down here this morning, man? Is this why I had to miss my fucking cartoons?”

“Let me give you a little inside information about God.”

“People die for it, people kill for it.”

“His piece will be rubbing inside of your armor!”

“You know ,death is a worry of the living. The dead like myself only worry about decay and necrophiliacs.”

“I told them I was coming up on a routine possession.”

“'Makin’ with the love.’ It’s a nice way of saying boning.”

“Do I come off as gay?”

“I got half a stock when she kissed me.”

“I hope you’re the skeeball type.”

“Bow down, stupid!”

“It never ends!”

“What the fuck happened to that guy’s head?!”

“She’s a clever girl, that one.”

“You ready to make some of those changes I’ve been talking about?”

“One of the drawbacks to being a martyr is that you have to die.”

“All is being taken care of.”

“Why are we here?”

*touches nose and makes funny noise*

“I told you she was a woman.”

“She’s not really a woman. She’s not really anything.”

“She’s something alright.”

“Are you saying you believe?”

“Crisis of faith over?”

“Why don’t you name the kid after me?”

“We’re in Mexico?”

“I couldn’t help it, the bitch was hot!”

“You know, you can’t talk to me like that anymore, I’m gonna be somebody’s mother.”

“Yo, we should go to Quick Stop.”

[ariainstars]

Congratulations, We Fell for Another Love Bombing or Thank You, Disney, You Did It Again

Sigh. Luke Skywalker is back. And Din Djarin and his child had to say goodbye. I never thought I would curse and say “Oh no!” when Luke appeared in that fateful corridor. 

I wonder why the Disney studios are doing this - trying to "make up” for the oh-so criticized sequels, I suppose?

The Jedi have made their time. It was shown and proven over and over again that their attitude is wrong and needs to change, and Luke was the last of the old school Jedi. Again, a Force-sensitive child is all but kidnapped by a Jedi: he obviously did not like to go. Mando is no longer the hero of the story, he was stripped of his agency and all of his personal choices were questioned and valued for null and void. But the Dark Saber is in his hands now, so he’s the heir to the throne of Mandalore I guess. Like he ever wanted that.

This show, which grew to be so well-beloved in only a few episodes, now is not “The Mandalorian” any more. Its new title is “Luke’s Skywalker’s Comeback”. Hardcore fans may be out of their minds with joy, but for us, who admired Mando both as a badass hero and as a father figure and loved the dynamics between him and Grogu, the whole purpose of the show is destroyed. And here I naively had thought The Rise of Skywalker was bad enough to teach the studios not to repeat its mistakes.

~~~ more under the cut ~~~

Star Wars ought to be a fairy tale. It is and always was one. I can understand that the prequels had to end in a tragedy, we all knew that from the start, but why the sequels? And now, why must this generally acclaimed and beloved tv show again appease hardcore fans of old with Luke coming to save the day, cancelling in a matter of minutes what the story had built up within two entire seasons - the relationship of the two protagonists, heart and core of the narrative, as it had been with Rey and Ben Solo? And when both of them had their relationship just getting started - Rey and Ben kissing, Din calling Grogu by his name and the latter seeing him and touching his face? Why make Rey a queen without her king, and Din a father without a son? 

Again, a Force-user is denied having a home: „Jedi training” matters more. By Luke of all people, the guy who never was trained in the first place (only very briefly), who except for a few lessons with Obi-Wan and Yoda was self-taught in the Force, and never understood that his strength lay with his compassion and his connection with other people, not with his alleged „superpowers”.

Think back to how Anakin, Luke and Rey were before they met the Jedi: unaware of their powers, compassionate, idealistic, brave. The Jedi mindset tainted their characters and lives, making them believing that they are (or have to be) untouchable and invincible, compelling them to live for duty instead of love, condemning them to a lifetime of loneliness. Will the Jedi never learn?

Though I practically grew up with the classic movies, I loved The Last Jedi; I can accept that Luke failed, and also that Han and Leia did. Nobody is perfect, and the Jedi mindset as well as the universally accepted idea that „Jedi” is a synonym for infallible saint-like hero was wrong in the first place, else the Empire never would have risen. Making Luke not the cavalry who came to save the day - until the battle on Crait, that is - but a man who failed and picked himself up again was much more meaningful, and I know not a few fans who felt inspired by this. Luke had saved his father choosing love over power, not the contrary. Some fans just never get it. To appease them, why not simply give him a new storyline of his own, instead of making him intrude in other Star Wars related shows? Why stop the new stories in their tracks just to bring him back?

Instead of seeing Luke as the grand kickass hero in a tv show that never had anything to do with him until now, it would have been more to the purpose to finally shed light on the thirty years between his father’s and his nephew’s death, to explain us where the Jedi and the Skywalker-Organa-Solo family failed to make such an outcome possible - the granddaughter of Palpatine taking over with their own blessing. There must have been a huge build-up between the end of the original saga and the fateful night at the temple when Luke briefly panicked looking into his nephew’s mind. Many fans still are convinced that „Kylo Ren just chose to be bad” because we hardly know how the relationship between these two was in the first place. (A very easy plot twist would e.g. have been Snoke warning Ben that his uncle sooner or later would turn on him, frightened by his power. The fulfilment of that prophecy would have made the night at the temple much more impactful.) 

I understand that the studios want to tease us, to make us watch the other shows, too. But honestly, I’m getting tired of feeling duped. Tired of getting attached to new heroes to have their purpose smashed just so the Star Wars dudebro fans can sleep quietly at night because „some Jedi will take care of it”. First the characters from the sequels, now the ones from The Mandalorian. You get to love the new characters, you root for them to find happiness or at least some closure, and then, at the last moment, poof!, the hero of old comes back and the story development stops right there. 

It is not right and it never was for the Jedi to take Force-sensitive children away from home, to enforce „you have to become a Jedi, like it or not” on them, to teach them not to have attachments, to make them focus on the Light Side thereby bringing the Force out of its much-needed balance. While Ahsoka saw that Grogu has formed a strong attachment to Din Djarin, Luke obviously did not, or he did not care. The irony is that he always wanted a father, and knows the pain of losing a father you’ve just found.

The Mandalorian felt like a consolation after Episode IX, a blessing for the fans for whom heart and soul are more interesting than nostalgia and „Jedi superheroes”. Now it’s just another kick in the guts. It’s painful and embarrassing to get to love characters so much, to get invested in their story so deeply, and then to realize again that they seem to mean nothing in the shade of the heroes of old. Ben Solo died young and miserable and Din Djarin and Grogu can now, I suppose, be miserable too. Can someone please explain to me why after the classics, no Star Wars film or show had an uplifting ending any more? With the possible exception of Solo, which was a nice filler but not a really important storyline. (I do not count Episodes I and II, they officially had a happy ending but it was tainted by the knowledge of what was to come.) 

Fans are not blind. We saw the parallels between Darth Vader and Din Djarin as well as the differences - both being cool and tough but the latter not disdaining to be a caring father at the same time. The entire show lived from the dynamics between the gruff but kind bounty hunter and the innocent-looking powerful child, ever from the first episode. Two years of build-up for nothing, as it was with the four years of the sequels. Mando has to relinquish Grogu, Rey loses Ben. What was all that for? Both Mando and Rey are fighters, they have done nothing else their entire lives. What is to become of them now that they have nothing to fight for any more, nor anyone to live for? Except staying on a planet that is foreign to them and, for all they know, inhabitable or at least inhospitable? 

With Rey and Ben Solo, the situation was different: she had proven good intentions but bad attitude (arrogance, violence, judgement) over and over, unable to deny her heritage, and even impaled her „antagonist” once while he was only defending himself. He had been the head of a criminal organization for years, and had committed patricide. Of course there are nuances to these characters and I still believe that they would have deserved another chance; I understand however that would have been unfitting to let the sequels end giving them a happy ending.

But in the case of Din Djarin, a man of honor, who has made friends and brought peace wherever he went throughout the galaxy? Grogu, the last surviving padawan of the old Jedi temple, who saved both his and Greef Karga’s life despite the danger for himself? What did they do to deserve being ripped apart like that? 

So, all I can say: thank you, you did it again. And, once more, just before Christmas. I wish at least these depressing endings would be released at some other time. 

I would dearly want to see a galaxy that finally learned from its faults, where family and attachments and Balance and free choice are not contrary to being a Jedi. I am in my late forties and I’m beginning to give up hope that I will live to see it. By now I am wondering whether George Lucas himself will live to see it. 

I always loved Luke. He is one of my favorite heroes. But now he’s become an insensitive know-it-all who suffered from his own daddy issues to the point that he almost died crying out to his father for help, yet did not learn not to separate fathers from children and vice versa and, on the contrary, is doing it over and over again. He did not even tell Mando his name, or where he could reach him. We don’t have a clue as to if, when and how the Clan of Two will meet again. 

I get it that since this show is set five years Return of the Jedi, it would have been difficult to ignore Luke’s existence altogether. And of course, we can rest assured that Luke will do his best for Grogu. But still: he has made his time. I wanted to see the new heroes going their own way, not hanging on the sleeves of the former generation. Mando is a man of honor, he had promised to bring Grogu to his own kind and he relinquished him despite his own wishes. (Not to mention that technically, since he identifies as a Mandalorian, by being a Jedi Luke is his enemy.) Why did Luke have to take the child away? His greatest strength always was that he was first and foremost himself and only in the second place a Jedi. What became of his trademark compassion? 

Before The Mandalorian, we have never seen a healthy and working father-son relationship in the saga. It was incredibly refreshing and heart-warming to see these two traveling through the galaxy and living through adventures together; also, contrarily to Yoda, Grogu saw a lot of the bad things happening in the galaxy with his own eyes, which certainly was good for his character development.

But in the end, both he and his „father” did not go anywhere. Like Rey in Episode IX, they found a) power and b) a surrogate place, but neither got what was actually his heart’s wish - a home. I can’t understand why. Deliberate cruelty? We never knew whether Han and Leia and Ben felt how painful it was to break up their little family for the sake of „Jedi training”. You bet Din and Grogu did feel that pain and loss.

Both as a person with a heart and a brain and an almost lifelong Star Wars fan I am sickened by the readiness of the studios to end all that this well-made show had built up, for the appeasement of Jedi worshippers who just don’t want to see that the Jedi mindset needs urgently to change. It can’t be that difficult to renew them for the better; there is no necessity to erase the Jedi completely and there is nothing bad with making them grow wiser and stronger by finally understanding and accepting the importance of attachments and family ties. Yes, I realize that being a father also means learning how to let go; but here we are speaking of a literal child, not of a young adult who chose his own way in life.

I thought that George Lucas knew why he sold his franchise to the Disney studios, given their tradition in telling stories about family and friendship. This development is not a triumph, it is unworthy both of the studios and of the entire Star Wars saga. I’m tired of producers bowing down before fans who see every shred of the saga through „Jedi are always right”-tinted glasses respectively who value coolness over compassion even though it always was the saga’s central message. 

Whatever happens in Season 3, countless fans will only be watching it asking, „Where’s Luke?” If Grogu should choose to join Mando again, everybody will be like, „But how can he want to leave Luke Skywalker of all people?” Some already see Grogu die prematurely, killed by the oh-so-bad guy Kylo Ren, for no other reason than to just to further prove how evil he is. In which case both Ben Solo and Grogu will have lived and died for nothing except for leaving a lot of heartbreak behind. 

There must be another and better way to honor the legacy of both Luke Skywalker and the original trilogy than to think up new heroes and then destroy their purpose for the sake of old times’ glory. Lucas himself had said that Star Wars is basically for twelve-year-olds. It seems not: it’s for the fans who were twelve years old forty years ago, when the first movies hit theatres. 

There are enough voices crying out for the sequels to be erased from canon. Who knows? This may be the next step into the past instead of the future. The sequels were hinting at a better future (Balance), Grogu was, too (family). But the grand past is so reassuring. The sequels tried to tell the audience to grow up and learn to do without their heroes, to see that even they were flawed and that the new heroes could grow beyond them. Fie on them, said the hardcore fans. Now it’s the turn of the younger generation, who got to know and love the saga with the sequels or The Mandalorian, to be like „WTF”. 

Rogue One also had been a huge disappointment to me. Not that I found it badly made, but I went into a depressive mood for three days for the same reason: I did not like that I had grown so attached to all of these characters only to see all of them die. The infamous Darth Vader scenes and the design with the huge hints at the classic movies were no consolation. Nostalgia does not make me happy. Heart does. Rogue One, the sequels and The Mandalorian were all, in the end, deprived of all human feeling except loss and regret and many, many thoughts about what might have been. 

The Mandalorian was an excellent story on its own. It did not need Luke Skywalker. It is and ought to be Din Djarin’s story, who lost or gave up everything because he was afraid to lose the child: and now he did. It’s not comforting that he lost him to the alleged Good Guy. Luke of course won’t turn a hair on Grogu’s head, but he can’t offer him a home, we already know that. Ahsoka saw the attachment between the two and she knows the dangers of it; Luke does not know what drove his father to his terrible fate. If the sequels remain canon, then we already know that Luke will not allow his pupils having and keeping healthy attachments. And that does not promise well for the child’s future.

Unless the studios commit the madness of officially erasing the sequels and starting the saga anew, we can only hope that the child will not stay with Luke for long since it’s a good five years before he will start his own Jedi temple. Maybe he will die of a broken heart, poor little guy. And Din Djarin might become the new ruler of Mandalore, though sad and alone. But who cares: Luke is back. Please: I did not subscribe to Disney+ wanting to see Schwarzenegger movies. The lonesome hero can ride into the sunset for all I care, out of sight and of mind. Star Wars’ greatest strength always was its heart. 

My own take was that Grogu is meant to be a healer, and since Luke is not, there is no way he can teach him this particular skill in the Force. Anakin was a pilot and a mechanic, Luke and Ben also were pilots. None of them were Jedi by choice. Grogu is older than Luke and he was already trained at the old Jedi temple: he’s more likely to be a teacher to Luke than the other way around. Grogu as the first Force-user who values attachment and family over power and Jedi training, that would indeed have been a new hope. This backpedaling is shallow and useless. Even if Luke sends Grogu back to Din Djarin, this won’t teach him not to take a child away from its home, since only a few years later he will do the same thing to his nephew. (Although it would admittedly be an interesting plot point to see a small Ben Solo interacting with Grogu for a while.) 

Please give us back The Mandalorian the way it was, with its characters and dynamics. The themes and messages of The Last Jedi already were almost all aborted in The Rise of Skywalker; we didn’t sign up on Disney+ to see the exact same thing happen with The Mandalorian. I for my part am fed up with this kind of love bombing followed by a quick and coldblooded let-down. Star Wars may be a cult, but it need not be the kind of cult where you get hooked and then unwittingly follow a carrot hanging before your eyes. I thought the exaggerated Jedi cult was mostly made by the fans: the studios did not need to jump on this ship. This is not the Way. 

Now everything I feared is flaring up again - fans jubilating because “the Jedi are taking matters in hand” instead of accepting the failure of the Jedi mindset at last; and even insisting that since things are going so well, all Disney needs to do is to cancel the sequels from canon and everybody can be happy again. 

Please, please, give this tormented galaxy a chance to heal at last. We don’t need Luke Skywalker to save the day by killing all the bad guys. We don’t need the oh-so-powerful and perfect Jedi. We need faith in the Force. We need a home. Don’t take it away from us again. Thank you.

 P.S. If we see Luke again in Season 3, at least give the role to a live actor. That digital “rejuvenation” made him look wooden. Luke’s best trait, apart from his compassion, always was his smile.

P.P.S. What’s with Boba Fett claiming Jabba’s throne? I thought Jabba had a son. What in the galaxy happened to him?

P.P.P.S. I don’t mind kickass women, but honestly, I’m getting somehow tired of them. What became of the ladies of Star Wars, the diplomats, the good queens, the loving mothers, the accurate librarians, who contribute to the galaxy without killing (or hurting) anyone? I’m feeling kind of underrepresented here...

[unexpectedreylo]

What Happened To TROS

There’s a show I watch on occasion called “Autopsy:  The Last Hours Of...” featuring a medical examiner going over celebrity autopsy reports and explaining why the celeb died.  (It’s on Reelz, in case you’re as morbid as I am.)

Many Reylos have gone over every statement uttered about the film and analyzed every bit of footage to see just what heck was going on with this movie.  Based on what’s come out in the press I was about to pitch my own autopsy theories.  But every day more comes out about TROS!  Chris Terrio digging his hole deeper, Colin Trevorrow’s alleged “script” leaking on Reddit!  As of writing, South Korea got the Art of TROS book first so images have been leaking all over the place.  

Here are my takeaways at this point:

Problem #1:  J.J. Abrams’s brand of filmmaking.  Abrams is really good at fast-paced, fun-filled spectacle.  He is also good at not explaining things, at interrupting every conversation with action/danger, and at forced, unearned moments that are more about winking at the audience than advancing the story/developing the characters.  Case in point:  Kirk and Spock acting out the Spock death scene from “Wrath of Khan” in “Into Darkness,” only with Kirk about to croak (he doesn’t).  The movie did nothing to set them up as close friends.  They were still sniping at each other the whole movie.  So it’s unsurprising TROS also had all of those elements.

Problem #2:  There was no plan.  What’s come out since the film’s release seems to emphasize that they really had no clue how to wrap this thing up because nobody had a clue who these characters were or what their story means beyond Chris Terrio’s curious obsession with Luke and Leia.  The audience attributed meaning based on what we got in TFA and TLJ but it seems like hardly anyone behind the scenes had any idea what that meaning was.  They threw away George Lucas’s road map and decided to just keep driving until they got somewhere.  

Problem #3:  There was no time.  When I was a kid, I’d see t.v. ads for Paul Masson wine starring the late Orson Welles.  The ads’ tag line was always, “We will sell no wine before its time.”  Bob Iger’s philosophy is “FTS, give me that movie yesterday!”  He announced a new trilogy to start in May 2015 at the end of October 2012.  That was less than three years.  Recall that it took months to find a director and they ended up junking Michael Arndt’s screenplay, with J.J. Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan having to do a quickie re-write in late 2013-early 2014.  Abrams was casting the film at the same time.  He asked for more time but all Iger would do is move the release date to December 2015 because he’d promised shareholders it would be out that year.  I felt that TFA seemed a little rushed and this explains why.  J.J. Abrams and Chris Terrio were officially running the show as of September 2017.  Originally TROS was scheduled for May 2019 but again Abrams asked for more time and the film was bumped back to December 2019.  Still, that’s only two years and two months.  Twenty six months to figure out how to end a trilogy, end a nine-part series, and work around the unexpected death of one of its stars.  Oh and do all of this while you hadn’t given Star Wars a thought in years along with a screenwriter whose knowledge is pretty wonky.  Is it any wonder why the script sometimes felt like it was written at the last minute by college students pulling an all-nighter on speed?  By comparison, George Lucas started writing the OT in 1973, three years before he shot ANH and four years before release.  He started writing the PT in 1994, three years before he shot TPM and five years before it was released.  Star Wars wasn’t based on a novel or a comic book.  The whole saga had to be cooked up from scratch.  It required more time and more thought.

Problem #4:  They didn’t get the best closer.  After TFA, Abrams didn’t worry about the long game for the trilogy because the original plan was to be one and done.  He never had to think about Rey and Co. ever again...until Colin Trevorrow got the hook in June 2017.  I don’t know if Kathleen Kennedy had anyone else in mind or not.  But I am certain Abrams was either Iger’s or Walt Disney Motion Pictures head Alan Horn’s idea.  Why him even if he admitted he’s not a good closer?  It’s simple:  TFA made $2 billion.  With no plan, limited time, and a few years of not thinking Star Wars at all, he had to quickly wrap up a series, something by his own admission he’s not very good at.

Problem #5:  Too many disruptions.  George Lucas somehow managed to survive changing directors for each of the OT, having to let Gary Kurtz go, and the end of his marriage to Marcia Lucas, who just happened to also be the films’ editor.  The ST had to contend with Michael Arndt, Colin Trevorrow, etc. getting fired and someone else having to step in and work from scratch.  Rian Johnson seemed to be the only one able to get through production unscathed, only to get his film retconned because of the internet peanut gallery.  Carrie Fisher unexpectedly died, forcing everyone to rack their brains on how they were going to finish this without her.

Problem #6:  They were totally out of touch with what audiences liked about the ST.   Before the arrival of Baby Yoda, Kylo Ren was the most searched Star Wars character.  Yes, even more than any of the OT characters.  While lots of people love Rey, they loved Kylo just as much if not a tiny bit more.  He was the one descended from the legends of our youth:  Han Solo and Princess Leia, Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala.  It also helped that a highly-talented, charismatic actor played him.  I think audiences were rooting for him but didn’t expect him to die.  Even people I know who otherwise really liked or loved TROS thought they shouldn’t have killed him off.

Reylo was also the gas in the ST’s tank, not only as a romantic duo but as physical representation of the push and pull of the Force itself.  Their interplay makes each character more interesting and make the story overall more interesting (I had little to no investment in the Resistance vs. First Order brouhaha).  

A logical person would’ve milked this for all its worth but instead they killed off their most interesting character and half of the most interesting relationship in the trilogy.  They left their heroine alone in the desert.  Had Ben Solo and Rey killed off the Emperor together and survived, and the movie ended with the two of them walking off into the sunset, TROS would have sailed past $1 billion and counting weeks ago.

[oldadastra]

Letter to Lucasfilm

So, I’ve written a letter to Lucasfilm. It could be better, but this is what came out this afternoon. I hope others who are writing will share what they are putting into the mail. I was trying to be concise, but it still ran to several pages. Find it in its entirety below the cut:

***

Lucasfilm, Ltd. Attn: Fan Mail PO Box 29901 San Francisco, CA 94129-0901

December 30, 2019

Lucasfilm/Disney:

I am writing to express my anger, shock, disappointment and deep sadness with the final installment of the Star Wars saga, Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker.

I was ten in 1977 when the original film was released and have loved Star Wars ever since. I was thrilled by the reopening of the saga in The Force Awakens, and delighted by the excellent script, rich visual storytelling, nuanced character development, and thematic direction of Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi.

Disney took on a sacred trust when it acquired Lucasfilm. Star Wars is deeply important to many people, and if you couldn’t do justice to the characters and themes of the saga, I’d argue that you had no business being involved in these stories. There is so much Disney/Lucasfilm got wrong in Rise of Skywalker, I’m struggling to gather my thoughts or express them coherently, but here goes:

Ben Solo. You created the most compelling character in the new trilogy by destroying the happy ending of the original trilogy. I was willing to go along on the ride Abrams and Kasdan began in The Force Awakens, because the fate of Ben Solo felt like it mattered. The questions raised in the new films: the nature of good and evil, the degree to which one’s family legacy defines a person, whether a one can atone for past sins; all of it felt alive and urgent in the person of Ben, a character I loved like one of my own children from the moment we so traumatically met him in The Force Awakens. His story was the beating heart of the new trilogy. His story is the one that mattered. His life was the one to be saved.

Ben solo was never an exposition device, cool villain, or disposable baddie to me. He was Han and Leia’s only child; loved, targeted, broken, lost.

The Rise of Skywalker redeems Ben Solo in the final act of the film, only to destroy him. Was it always your plan to kill the last Skywalker in the final installment of this story, to render the overarching message of all nine films as tragedy? If so, I wish I’d known this was your intent; I would never have engaged with these stories and made an emotional investment in them. If tragedy was your goal, that was certainly your choice to make, but I’d argue that you owed it to the audience and the cast to do a better job of it.

For example: You give us evidence that Han and Leia’s child was targeted by evil old men from before his birth. It’s a disturbingly explicit allegory of grooming and child abuse.

You give Ben Solo a backstory which implies he is guilty of vile, Anakin-style crimes against other young people, coding him as a school shooter, and then chose to exonerate him of this crime in a comic book, where the general audience will never know he was innocent. It’s a form of character assassination.

You consigned Ben Solo to the darkness for almost the entirety of three films, then denied him his voice in the final acts of his own story. “Ow?” The only words the redeemed Ben Solo will ever speak. Apalling.

You brought back Palpatine for this film (arguably rendering the message of the first six films meaningless), identified the Emperor as Ben’s tormentor all along, then denied Ben the opportunity to fight his enemy in the final act of the film.  Rise of Skywalker literally throws Ben Solo into a pit, and forces him to climb out alone and unaided while Rey is whispered to by “all the jedi,” offering her words of encouragement. It’s grotesque.

I’m getting lost in rage and sadness again here, so let me just say that even if you inexplicably didn’t care about the last Skywalker in the Skywalker saga, you have done a grave disservice to Adam Driver in your treatment of his character in this these films.  Perhaps you’ve heard of Driver’s non-profit organization, Arts in the Armed Forces? He’s deeply committed to the importance of stories as a way to make meaning out of the inexpressible. Did he really sign on to this project thinking that the final message of his character would be to say that even if you are able to come back from the darkness, your final act must be to die? That imperfect children don’t deserve compassion, forgiveness, life? You owe Mr. Driver an apology, but you can never really atone for what you’ve done to him.  

You ended a nine-film, forty-two year saga with all the Skywalkers dead, and a Palpatine the last one standing. You spent three films tormenting Han and Leia’s child, only to kill him in the final act.  What you did to Ben Solo (and frankly to us, who loved him) feels more like a horror story than anything else. In my dreams, I walk right into your offices and flip over tables.

There’s a lot more I could accuse Rise of Skywalker of bungling, but I assume you are hearing this feedback from others besides me, so I will summarize:

Rey Palpatine. Was is all about the midiclorians after all? By making her Palpatine’s granddaughter, you deny Rey everything that made her special; you deny her agency, and you negate the beautiful message I thought you were trying to communicate in the first two films with Rey Nobody: that the force belongs to us all, and that anyone can be a hero

The erasure of Rose Tico. It’s difficult to interpret this as anything but a capitulation to a loud, racist, and misogynist element of the fandom. It’s a very bad look, Disney. Please pay attention to the message you are sending.

Character development in general and a truly horrible ending: Rey goes back into her child-like costume, Ben Solo spent much of the film forced back into his stupid mask. Ben disappears at the end with no one to mourn him. Rey ends the film alone in a desert wasteland.

Rise of Skywalker is the most bleak, hopeless, and depressing Star Wars film ever made. As days go by, it’s becoming clear that it was also poorly written and edited. These stories matter to us, and we pay close attention to them. Disrespect us at your peril.

I don’t expect anyone will ever read this missive, or care at all about what an old shepherd on a mountainside thought about the execution of your multi-billion dollar movies. This is a personal exercise in catharsis as much as anything.

But here are a few notes in a language you might understand. I made some quick calculations about how much money I’ve spent on Star Wars over the past four years, and I’m sharing that with you now.

Movie tickets:  I’m one of those people who sees movies I love more than once (I saw Empire Strikes Back eighty-one times in the theater!). I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi at least ten times each. I’m not counting the cost of tickets for my extended family, whom I brought along to a number of screenings, or tickets for birthday party guests we treated to these movies. My teenaged daughter came along for all the screenings I am including, so I calculate I spent about $360 on tickets. We also bought tickets to Rogue One and Solo, so it was actually more, but you get the idea.

Books, tie-ins, DVDs, merchandise: I invested in The Art of the Force Awakens and The Art of the Last Jedi books, as well as at least one SW Visual Dictionary. I bought DVDs of the films of course, and CDs of John Williams’ beautiful scores. I bought and read a number of books; Boodline and the Leia novel, The Force Awakens novelization and Junior novelization, Aftermath, and a couple others whose titles escape me. At least seven action figures. Toy light sabers for me and my daughter. Posters. T Shirts. I know I’m not remembering everything, but it adds up to an expenditure of at least $347 in books and other Star Wars merchandise.

Star Wars Celebration: I splurged on passes for my daughter and I to attend Star Wars Celebration in Chicago this past spring. It cost me about $400, and a last-minute family emergency meant we were unable to attend, but the tickets were non-refundable, so it was money I spent on Star Wars nonetheless.

Total: $1,107

A laughably small amount to you guys, I’m sure. Perhaps a contrast is useful:

Total amount I have spent (tickets for my daughter and I on opening night) on Rise of Skywalker: $22.

Total amount I plan to spend on Disney Lucasfilm merchandise in the future: $0

I invested quite a lot of my time in Star Wars over the past four years. I’ve written thousands of words in essays, appreciations and analyses (mostly on Tumblr), where I amassed a modest following of just over a thousand people. I’m sure I occasionally bored my friends and family by going on and on about Star Wars. This kind of ‘work’ has no dollar value of course. I will say that it was great fun while it lasted, though I feel foolish in retrospect, remembering all the times I came to your defense, arguing that the saga was in good hands, that you had a plan; that you were going to tell a good story.

Sadly, I don’t think you can fix the damage you’ve done to the Galaxy Far Far Away with The Rise of Skywalker. You made this film, made your choices, and put it out into the world. I have no control over where you go from here, but as a person who has loved Star Wars since I was a child, I beg you to take some time to reflect before making another Star Wars film.

You’ve broken so many hearts. Mine was one.

Andrea ____

...my full name and address, blah blah, I live in Vermont

[h-e-l-l-b-r-o-k-e]

Galapogos [B. Hargrove x you]

Summary: Billy’s temper always causes him problems, but luckily he has Max to talk just a bit of sense into him.

Inspiration: Galapogos by The Smashing Pumpkins & Lost Stars by Adam Levine (Begin Again Soundtrack)

Word Count: 2875  Warnings: profanity, angst, and mentions of abuse.

Written Date: 07/20-22/2019    Posted Date: 7/23/2019  

[PART 1]< >[PART 2]

Billy hadn’t meant to push you.

It wasn’t your fault your ex-boyfriend David had started hiding a liquor flask inside of his varsity jacket because he hated the presence of the new girl who clung to his bicep. It wasn’t your fault David the Douche couldn’t hold his alcohol and wanted you back. It wasn’t your fault that he had chosen the school parking lot to stumble into an already irritated Billy who had just minutes to pick up Max and get home because Mr. Hargrove had already gotten on his case the evening before.

You weren’t supposed to be there. Just hours ago in the blue Camaro with a half-eaten sandwich on your lap, you’d told Billy you had plans with your yearbook classmates. Something about a new comedy film down at the theater that everyone’s been psyched to see. Billy’s never been too good at remembering certain details. Either way, after everything he has been through, Billy should have known that plans never go as planned.

He hadn’t meant to push you. Especially not in front of the entire student body.

But, there you had been in your new skirt, now tainted with black stains from the new cement Hawkins had promised with that tax raise, with tears threatening to spill down your doe eyes. The pang in his chest tells him that you’ll never wear that skirt again, not without freshening the sting in your scraped palms or the incessant pounding just beneath your rib cage.

And yet, he couldn’t bare to see the familiarity of hate finally poison the only form of comfort and affection he’s had since his mother left him or keep up his appearance by finishing the fight your stupid ex-boyfriend had started.

Billy cannot remember the space of time between then and the vibrations through the cool leather under his thighs as the Camaro roared out of there. Out of everyone’s accusing eyes—even the piece of shit Tommy H. had nothing to say. And as he sits on his unruly bed with his head in his hands, Billy cannot even tell what’s worst: the fact that he ran away with his tail between his legs or the fact that he left behind the only girl he’d ever taken seriously.

The sound of skateboard wheels aggressively running over cracks and bumps in the pavement go through one ear and out the other—there’s no room in Billy’s loud head for the outside world to settle. Not the creaks from the stubborn doorknob. Not the slamming of the front door nor the stomping of size five Keds as they approach his bedroom.

Everything is dead to him until the thirteen-year-old he barely tolerates stands at his doorway with her hands on her waist and a scowl on her freckled face.

“What?”

Billy’s dirty blond locks hang over his face in the fashion of a veil as his hands act like a mask. He hasn’t looked up from his position on the bed nor has his favorite mirror caught a glimpse of his vanity. He’s avoiding the very face he was gifted, afraid to finally see the monster that had frightened you.

“Do you have brain damage or something?” Max’s voice is too loud compared to the silence that’s embraced him for the past ten minutes. “You were supposed to pick me up, and don’t dare try to say I was late—”

“Leave me alone.” His voice is muffled.

Max’s blue eyes scrutinize Billy’s pathetic form. His hair’s a mess and she can tell he hasn’t lifted a single weight since he got home—the faded jean jacket still hangs off his broad shoulders. Her next set of words are far more gentler, yet still carries the same edge: “Did somebody die?”

“No.” His shoulders slump just a bit lower. “Go play with your stupid dolls. I don’t care.”

“Ew, you know I don’t touch that shit.”

Billy’s hands smooth down his warm face, and she sees it. The sensitive skin around his eyes are tinged red. “Go away,” he waves her away as he digs for a stray cigarette in his pocket.

His trembling fingers manage to grasp the tip of the cigarette he knew he had hid and shoves it between his lips, suckling on the dry stick as if he were dying of thirst. And before he even knows it, he’s patting himself down for a lighter.

As the trusty lighter remains incognito, the feeling of ants crawling over his taut muscles amplifies. Then he remembers, there’s a shitty spare in his bedside drawer under some wrinkled school assignments marked with grades his father wouldn’t approve of. But as he shakes, flicking the flint wheel over and over again hoping for just a spark, he remembers he never went down to the liquor store to refill its fluids.

“Fuck!” Max flinches as the cheap plastic crashes against the wall wisps away from her head. “What the hell?!”

“Shit…” Billy collapses against his bed in tune with the breath in his lungs. “Sorry.”

Max faces her dirty tennis shoes, sucking on her bottom lip as a million scenarios in which how her step-brother could have fucked up past through her mind. Every sweeping thought involved you somehow, and she actually kind of liked you.

“Go find her.”

The ceiling stares down on him, every groove and every indent. Good thing plaster and paint don’t have a conscience to judge him, despite always being the witness of Billy at his worst.

“What?” Billy’s not sure he heard right, especially when Max never meddles in his business.

A Ked nears his bed in a tentative step forward. “Go fix whatever happened.”

The lines embedded in his forehead loosen up like the curls that frame his face. All anyone ever does is automatically point the finger at him. It started with his father until even Billy started to believe that maybe he was the fuck-up his father said he’d always be.

“Prove to her that everyone in this shithole is wrong about you,” Max keeps her gaze settled on him, watching for any sort of cautionary reaction, “or whatever.”

Billy takes a deep breath. “Why should I listen to you?” he scoffs, “You’re thirteen.”

If there’s anything that Max knows about her step-brother is his loose temper. Living under the same roof as him taught her that Neil had long since snapped the leather of Billy’s leash in half, despite the older man pretending it was the fault of the dog’s breed rather than his own treatment of it.

Her legs are ready to run to her room, but her feet have found the courage to stand on the stained carpet. Max swallows some of her insecurities, “Because you’re scared.”

Besides you, Max is the only other person who can read and solve him like a simple math equation. It’s the only thing you two have in common, and it’s irritating as fuck.

Blue eyes snap to her for a moment as his shoulders straighten. “Hey! I’m not scared,” but then his eyes trail to the bikini-chick poster taped to his closet door and the energy keeping his frustration together disintegrates. “I have to babysit you, brat. There’s a difference.”

“You can.” A sigh leaves her chapped lips when Billy gives her a confused look. “I’ll call Neil, tell him I asked you to take me to the arcade. Not a big deal.”

It takes a moment before the lubrication reaches the rusty gears in his brain. He sits up and runs a hand through his locks. It’s not like he’s never gone behind his father’s back. “Where are you actually going?”

Max shrugs, “None of your business.”

 ~

The drive there is only possible due to muscle memory, an acquired reflex after driving down this familiar neighborhood so many times while all his senses have been locked on you. Complex guitar-solos screeching through the speakers, yet your sweet-as-honey voice always managing to seep through the noise. His hand reaching out to where it belongs—on the flesh of your thigh. Girly-scented shampoo invading his nostrils as your lips focused on his neck. Half-lidded eyes painting murals across the windshield, of your bedroom, ruffled sheets, and how he wanted to ravage you.

Except now, his sweaty palms cling to the steering wheel as the road ahead looks the same as the school’s parking lot—smooth, with a seal-coat. His favorite metal tunes for the evening is the gasp that left your lips when you hit the ground. The scent of your shampoo is replaced by David’s breath, reeking of cheap whiskey as he purposely bumped shoulders. His artistic eye tries to imagine a chance to win you back, but all he gets is hacked images of your locked front door.

The only thing that isn’t different is the fact that the rules of the road only ever came second to Billy’s mood. Third, after he met you.

When he’d first found out they were moving to buttfuck Indiana, he thought his life was for sure over. Or, at least the beginning of a count-down until his eighteen birthday when he’d be legally free to move back to California. When they’d finally arrived at Hawkins, it was even worse than anything his mind had conjured. It smelled like manure and the girls had nothing on Californian babes.

The town only became a little bit more tolerable once he beat his only competition, Steve Harrington, and was crowned the new king of Hawkins High. But, even then, livestock droppings still wafted in the air and the girls he had one night stands with resembled cows to the point that he was having sex with his eyes closed for the first time in his life.

That is until he bumped into you months into the fall semester.

You had been carrying one of the expensive cameras that belonged to the school, walking as you inspected the piece crafted by Greek gods themselves. In the seconds you had collided with a hard body, you were sure you’d have to kiss goodbye your monthly allowance for the heartbreak that was just about to happen.

The camera never made impact with the linoleum. Instead, it was nestled in the palms of the new kid you had vowed to never interact with. Especially not when the stories you’ve heard around school said that he was just a replica in spirit of your cheating ex-boyfriend. But you had snorted out of disbelief, and the hideous sound out of your bare lips had been enough to capture Billy Hargrove’s interest.

Soon, the promise of never giving another badboy the time of day was snipped with a pair of scissors as you found yourself in his passenger seat, glancing out of the window with a fresh coat of mascara on your virgin eyelashes. Him being new to the town, he had no idea where to take you for your first date together. Benny’s diner had been the destination. Bless his heart.

The standard date had awkward pauses, and even more awkward jokes from Billy’s end. French fries were shared and your fingers kept brushing together like a magnetic pull. You had been sure at the moment that it had to have been the attraction between the rings on his fingers and the ones on yours. It wasn’t the gleam in his bedroom eyes nor the inviting scent of his cologne nor the smooth skin that was revealed by a couple of loose buttons.

When he dropped you off in front of your house, he had admitted that those corny jokes were in hopes to hear that ugly snort one more time. Offense had turned to flattery when he poked his head out the driver’s side window and asked you out on another date for the following day.

You cannot believe you had fallen victim to his charm. A spell the heartbreak over David had taught you to avoid. But, you felt worse knowing that most of the shedding tears are for the death of what was the best you had felt in months. You have had first-hand experience of learning that rollercoasters are not escalators, yet you fooled yourself anyway.

You had thought that expressing loving attention was enough to extinguish a firecracker that’s ready to explode on the Fourth of July. Who knew you’re arrogant enough to think that you possessed that sort of power over anyone, especially a rough-around-the-edges type of boy like Billy. A boy who clearly needs a damn therapist instead of some soft teenage girl with an ugly laugh who’s capable of whispering sweet things into his awaiting ear during sex.

You don’t know how long you’ve been under the comforter with a teddy bear clutched in your arms, staring at your reflection from the floor-mirror in the corner of your room.

Your parents are currently away for their anniversary in some tropical island, sipping on margaritas, while your brother has yet to show his face in this fortress. The telephone has been ringing on and off since Nancy Wheeler had offered you a ride home.

Riding with Nancy was the safest bet. She’s nice, knows when to keep quiet, and doesn’t know you enough to bombard you with questions. Unlike your best friend, who without a doubt always has your best interest in mind, but is too comfortable to give you enough space to mourn. Judilyn talks more than she listens, and you know that half those calls are from her just to tell you about how sorry Billy will be once she gets her hands on him.

You know you should be begging God to turn back time, for another opportunity to change the outcome. You would have been paying attention to where you were going; you wouldn’t have invited him into your little world with your laugh. And you definitely would have kept your arms securely crossed over your chest as the only shield you had against cupid’s arrow.

But, you aren’t. Because despite the shove that sent you sprawling on the cement and the scowl on his face that was so deeply rooted in hate, you’re still madly in love with him. The boy who offers you his jackets when you’re shivering in the howling winds of night. The boy who combs his fingers through your tresses as your naked chests rest as one. The boy who doesn’t care that you don’t try to hide the slight bags beneath your eyes nor any blemishes on your skin you may be battling for the week. The boy who wanted you to express your flawed laugh when, previously, David would have made fun of you for it. The boy who who throughout it all, had been trying his best to show you just how beautiful you, the yearbook girl who hides behind the camera, really are.

 ~

You don’t realize you’d fallen asleep until there’s a couple of suspicious sounds outside your window.

The sun casts a golden hue across the sky, seeping into your second-story bedroom and stretching out the shadows of your furniture. You don’t care for the picturesque beauty at the moment; all you want to do is tell Judilyn, who sometimes climbs up your window when you’re ignoring her, to leave you in peace.

The comforter slides off your shoulders as your feet sink into the plush carpet. You’re still in your ruined skirt and the scuffs on your palms haven’t been washed yet, but that has yet to cross your mind from your sleep-roused state.

You slide the window open with every attempt to send your best friend away. “Judy, I thought I made it clear I want to be left a—!”

His mullet shows up first before his glazed cerulean eyes. His cocky voice is nothing but a whisper: “Hey.”

To be continued.

A/N: So, this is the first Stranger Things fic I’ve ever written! I feel pretty accomplished. Let me know what y’all think. I’m down to do more, especially since I’m so mad by what happened to Billy. I can’t promise I’ll be quick because I’m currently balancing a work-heavy summer course, a job, and my own novel.