#anyhow enjoy this convo

[clowningaroundmars]

previously:

Here, the Doctor leaps over to the side, narrowly avoiding a fist to the jaw and swinging 42’s still unconscious body into the air… letting him tumble over the ledge.

"Catch!" He announces brazenly.

42 falls down, down, down.

Gwen watches in horror.

here we are you guys!!! the final chapter! are you guys ready? :)

don't worry, i won't play with your guys' hearts for too long! well. i mean

oh yeah, and remember that death tw on chapter 1? well yeah. no gory details ofc but just mind the warning

anyways, enjoy! :D it's the final stretch

<< part 4 of 4

Doc Ock cackles gleefully as he watches 42’s body tumble into the air and down onto the concrete parking lot several stories below.

With one last burst of rage-filled strength, Gwen football-tackles him over the ledge while his guard is down, sending all three of them sailing through the cool night air.

Doc Ock clearly doesn’t expect this, if his screaming was anything to go by.

But Gwen wasn’t concerned at all with his idiotic cries, she was a woman on a mission and by god if she wasn’t going to complete it!

If she failed two of her friends and directly lead to both of their demises, then what the hell was she wearing the mask for?

No, this ends now.

She quickly grabs Doc Ock by the back of his neck and grips onto another one of his tentacles as they fall through the air, ripping it straight out of the node on his spinal cord with all of her might.

“N-no-- don’t!! AAAAAAAAAUGHH!!”

The Doctor’s soul-wrenching yowl of pain might’ve made Gwen feel a little bad… under normal circumstances. But at the moment, her every bit of focus was pointed towards Miles-42 like a compass pointing True North, and she wasn’t letting him out of her sight now.

Making split-second calculations, she kicked the Doctor’s body off of her and used the tentacle’s technological properties as a last-ditch effort to hook herself onto a nearby streetlamp, swinging her entire body’s weight with a loud grunt of effort.

She intercepted Miles’ flailing body in mid-air and succeeded in grabbing a hold of him, swinging down onto the ground safely and falling onto the concrete. She crashed onto her knees and rolled over a few times, clutching 42's head protectively all the way down.

The Doctor… didn’t make it.

With a sickening crunch and splatter, he was a disgusting mess of red, wet garbage on the concrete. His tentacles weren't long enough to reach back up to ledge of the building and his slower reflexes caused him to miss the streetlamp entirely.

His remaining tentacles laid next to him just as limp and as dead as he was.

Well, shit. That was gonna be a nasty surprise for the paramedics to find later on, huh.

Gwen sighed with relief as she laid her head back down and took a minute to catch her breath.

What a day. She wanted this to be completely over now, but… she knew that despite this small moment of relief, she wasn’t quite out of the woods yet. Literally.

But also…

“Miles,” she grunts with effort, every muscle in her body crying out as she pushes herself off of her elbows to sit up.

Miles-42 is laid across her lap now and showing zero signs of waking up anytime soon. Gwen’s heart started kicking into overdrive again, and she held him in her hands…

Just like you held Peter… after killing him, an evil little voice sneered at her from the back of her mind.

“Peter? Peter, oh god. What did you do?!” Gwen sobbed, excavating her beloved friend from the rubble of her school’s gymnasium.

He wasn’t gonna make it… oh god, he really wasn’t going to make it. The poor boy could barely open his eyes, and his bloody, beaten face was something that was going to haunt her in her nightmares forever.

It was etched into the back of her mind, the back of her damn eyelids, especially when to her delight-- or horror, it was hard to tell in the moment-- he managed to crack open his swollen eyes and look directly into hers.

“Gw-- Gwen…” he coughed, weakly.

Gwen continued to cry. “No no no no no, no, no! What did you do!? Why?!” She pleaded, wanting any answer, anything to hold onto.

“I… I wanted to be special. Like you,” he managed, even weaker than before.

Gwen knew it. She could feel the thready pulse of his heartbeat growing weaker and weaker with every passing second, and time was running out.

But she still held on.

“… Peter?” She sucked in a breath.

“Peter?”

“Peter?!”

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“Miles?!”

Gwen sobbed once more, clutching yet another beloved friend in her arms, in a position eerily similar to that fateful night. “Miles!”

All of the feelings she felt the night that her best friend had died came crashing back down and flooding into her chest like a tsunami.

She sniffled angrily, ripping her mask off of her face and working to pry Miles’ mask off of his own face, too.

... Damn it! What the hell was this stupid thing made out of?!

She didn’t want to break his tech, as complicated and extremely well-made as it was. She knew it was valuable and expensive to make, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

She needed to see if he was still possibly alive, if he could give her a sign or something, and she wasn’t going to be able to do it with this stupid mask in the way!

She didn’t trust her shaking hands to be able to read his pulse in this state… she needed to see his face.

After a couple of minutes of careful jabbing and prying, Gwen was finally frustrated enough to just slide Miles right off of her lap and pry the whole thing off of his face with one firm pull.

She managed to do so without injuring him even more, and immediately got to checking the color of his lips in the low lighting of the near-empty parking lot. She fussed over him, sniffling and wiping her tears all the while.

It seemed like his bleeding stopped for now at least, but that was without even knowing how much he had lost in the first place.

“Miles… Miles?! Please,” she begged as she held him in her arms once more. “Answer me, please! Let me know you’re still alive, anything! Wiggle your eyebrows or…” she sniffled, “I… I don’t know but god, please, anything!”

What the hell did Doc Ock even do to this kid anyways?

She examined his face once more through the tears in her eyes and noticed a new injury that looked relatively fresh, still bleeding somewhere from his temple.

Maybe he knocked Miles out for a longer time in his mad dash to the roof… and if that was true… he really, really could be dead.

Miles-42 wasn’t a superpowered being like the rest of the Spider Band, he was a regular kid with cool gadgets and intense at-home training, but a regular kid nonetheless. Gwen could recover from a hard head injury herself just fine, all she would have to do is just sleep the pain off.

But Miles…

Miserably, Gwen sunk down even lower to the ground and sobbed her eyes out, tears wetting her face and staining the spray-painted Prowler logo on Miles’ shirt.

She stays like this, clutching onto the limp body of someone she would’ve been happy to call her friend-- especially after all they’ve been through today-- and now he won’t even live to see the fruits of his labor.

Fuck.

Gwen’s wandering thoughts takes her over to his uncle Aaron’s face, how he was going to react to the news of his nephew’s untimely and unfortunate death.

Gwen thought about Rio and… well, she cried even harder.

But she didn’t get to finish because… Miles then stirred a bit, his breathing speeding up a bit before he laid his head back and sighed softly.

Gwen stopped crying. She was shocked, staring back into his blank face with wide, teary eyes.

… Was it her imagination, then? Did she want Miles to be alive so badly that she convinced herself that he moved a bit while she wept?

No. No, she’s got to suck it up, stop letting her emotions get the best of her and give it a real try this time.

Steadying her breathing and wiping the snot from her nose, she brushes her hair back from her face and turns Miles’ face towards a nearby streetlamp that casts down a cold, white light onto the scene.

With gentle fingers, she lifts up one of his eyelids, then his other eyelid, and then finally bends down to listen to his chest as closely as she can.

She hears a heartbeat, though not so loudly underneath all of the gear he wears, but a heartbeat nonetheless.

Miles really stirs this time, groaning and sucking in a breath as he slowly comes back online.

Gwen laughs wetly, wiping more of her tears and boogers and sadness away, only tears of joy left brimming in her eyes.

“Miles! Oh my god, you’re alive… you’re alive! You made it!” She announces gleefully, giving him a happy little squeeze.

“Ow,” Miles answers hoarsely, squinting in the harsh, cold light of the streetlamp overhead and coughing a bit.

“S-sorry, sorry. I’m just. Well, y’know pretty excited that you’re alive. I thought that you were actually dead for a minute there, bud! You really gave me a scare!” She laughs and sniffles.

Miles finally cracks an eye open long enough to exhale a bit and lay his head back down.

“Uhhh… who are you again?” He mumbles, and Gwen’s heart sinks.

Oh no.

“What? Uh, i-it’s me, Gwen! Y’know, the girl who you’ve been fighting to escape this horrible building with this whole night? Oh no… is your head injury that bad?” She frets.

Miles then cracks a smile, not quite being able to laugh but getting pretty damn close to doing so.

“Gwendy, relax. I know who you are. Joke,” he explained, and it earned him another head bump from being promptly dropped right back onto the hard ground.

“Ow,” he complained.

“You are a dick,” Gwen replied, folding her arms over her chest. She didn’t stop smiling through her tears, though.

“Were you crying over me? Oh my god, you were totally crying,” Miles says with a smile, not making any movements to get up at all.

Gwen unfolds her aching legs from underneath her and stands up on her knees. “Shut up. Stop talking. You’ve sustained a critical brain injury and you need to not make stupid decisions before we get you out of here, alright?”

Miles chuckles quietly. “Mmnyeah, true. Lemme keep my mouth shut.”

He wasn’t slurring his speech or confusing her for another person, so that was a good sign.

He wasn’t moving any of his limbs, though. So… that was possibly a bad sign.

“Can you, uh,” Gwen starts, glancing all around her as she fully stands up, “can you walk? Or sit up? I can carry you, but I need to know that you’re not paralyzed from the neck down first. I don’t wanna risk any more injuries, y’know?”

Miles wiggles his feet and flexes his hands inside of his gauntlets for a bit before laying back down and sighing again.

“Yeah, I can move my limbs. I don’t think anything’s broken… except for this massive fuckin’ migraine I got goin’ on right now. Just, uhm. Just gimme a minute.”

Gwen continues looking over her shoulder. The blades of a chopper are vibrating through the air several miles away but it’s gaining speed quickly, and steadily getting closer.

“Okay, you might wanna hurry up on that, because we’ve got company coming and we still need to get the hell out of here,”

Miles blinks on the ground for a few more seconds, gears very obviously turning in his head as he does.

After a few seconds, he says, “okay. Help me up, then. Slowly,”

It takes them several more minutes of pained grunting and a slow ascent up to get Miles standing again, but once they’re both steady on their feet, they get a move on.

Gwen has one of his arms over her shoulder, steadying him and carrying some of his weight.

“Wait,” Miles says suddenly, just as they’re rounding a corner of the building where several guards and scientists are still milling around. There are a few big white buses parked close by, most likely hired to transport the personnel away from the facility. Some are already sat inside.

Gwen ducks back around the corner and takes a peek at the scene before turning her attention back to her friend.

“Shit, you’re right. There’s a lot of people out there, most likely waiting for Octavius or something. We’ve gotta find a way too book it out of here undetected, though…”

“Mh, yep,” Miles grunts, sucking in air through his teeth for a second. “Ow, sorry. My head’s killin’ me… which kinda sucks, ‘cause my escape plan was to just hot-wire a car and hightail it outta here.”

Gwen laughed incredulously. “Oh my god. That was your grand escape plan this whole time?” She shakes her head. “In every single universe… Miles Morales is the exact same dork I always hate to love,”

“Psshhyeah right, hate to love. You’re not foolin’ me,” Miles smirks at her exasperated expression.

Gwen rolls her eyes and instructs Miles to lean against the wall and stay put while she goes to search for a viable vehicle they could steal.

“Cool. Good luck. I definitely won’t die,” Miles informs her, which just makes her roll her eyes again before bounding away.

Time for some espionage, Gwen thinks to herself as she skirts the outer edges of the parking lot and tries to avoid being seen by the several other armed personnel still waiting around to receive confirmation that they can now depart.

After a little bit, a few ambulance trucks pull up with flashing red lights and the paramedics jump out, which actually gives her some relief. The professionals were on the job now, everything was taken care of; they also served as a perfect distraction from what she was doing…

Which was looping around the entire building’s perimeter and seeing which car was left unattended and unlocked.

She really didn’t want to have to break any windows, especially because she needed to keep as quiet as possible since she still needed to go back and fetch Miles… but if all options were exhausted…

Bingo!

She eventually came across a parked Ford F-250 near a line of trees located just behind all of the ambulances and the commotion. It was unlocked (haha, sucker!) and was perfectly empty, ready for the taking.

Gwen couldn’t believe that despite failure after failure plaguing her on this day, her luck finally turned around at the last minute… what a relief!

Overhead, the chopper finally reached its destination, drowning out every sound around them with its spinning blades as it slowly lowered itself down onto the helipad located at the top of the building. Leaves were whipped violently into the air, trees swayed and shook with the force of the winds.

Gwen rejoiced again at the added distraction that would surely help with her sweet escape.

The helicopter crew wouldn't find much waiting for them up there, save for the unconscious bodies of several brutally-beaten henchmen, of course.

She fetched her friend who was now sitting with his knees tucked up under his chin against the wall, and together they limped their way back to the truck and climbed in.

Once inside, they successfully hot-wired it using Miles’ gadgets. Then Miles went to climb out of the driver’s seat.

“Uhh wait, huh. Where’re you going?” Gwen asks from the passenger seat.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you? You’re driving. Hop in.” Miles groans as he lowers himself from the high-as-hell cab, clutching at his side.

Gwen titters nervously. “Ohhh, no, no I’m not! I don’t even have my license yet, I can’t drive!”

Miles takes his sweet time painstakingly climbing into the back seat of the truck. He shirks his pack off, throws it onto the floor of the cab, and stretches himself out over the seats to lay down.

“Yep, I don’t have my license either, girl, you don’t see me chickening out when I’m picked to be the getaway driver!” He remarks, once comfortable.

Gwen huffs in annoyance, leaping over to the driver’s side and locking all of the doors once she makes sure they’re shut tight.

“Dude, forreal! I have no clue how to operate a truck like this! The gear shift isn’t even in the right place,” she complains.

Miles cracks one eye open. “Please tell me your dimension doesn’t have y’all driving on the left side of the road…”

Gwen huffs again. “No, I'm not British, Miles. I meant… this looks pretty high-tech for me and… what do all of these buttons even do? …Is this a touch screen?”

“Gwen, seriously, I get that this is a brand new experience for you but listen: there are like, no laws in this dimension. Literally not even kidding. Just pull up the GPS on that touch screen, punch in my address and we can get going. Left pedal’s gas, right pedal’s the brakes.”

She hesitated, but... there was no arguing with that! Who was Gwen to make decisions in a dimension she wasn’t even a part of, really? If Miles told her that his dimension ignored all traffic laws, well… then, when in Rome, right?

And besides, who else was getting them both to safety if not her? She needed to suck it up before they were noticed by any personnel sweeping the area, or before any cops showed up.

She took a deep breath and steeled herself.

“Well,” Gwen said nervously, both hands on the wheel and her eyes directly on the road in front of her, “bon voyage, then! Let’s pray I don’t get the both of us killed,”

“Vamos con dios,” Miles mumbled, an arm draped over his eyes. He quickly lost consciousness once again.

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About half an hour into their drive (which-- aside from terrible braking every now and then-- was admittedly pretty smooth, all things considered), Gwen pulls over to a greasy 24-hour fast food place that seemed to serve all of the shittiest, unhealthiest food ever invented under the sun.

She woke Miles up and asked him what his order would be, borrowed his jacket to cover up her unique costume’s design, and ducked inside.

She was surprised to see Miles up and sitting in the truck bed when she returned with their food, legs swinging like he hadn’t just gotten injured helping her fight a menacing four-armed madman not even an hour and a half ago.

He looked the worse for wear, braids frizzed out as they hung right over his shoulders like they usually did, but he was more alert now than he had been before. He looked fine, given the circumstances.

They sat side-by-side, gazing up at what scarce stars there were out in the early morning sky, the edges of the horizon peeking a slight blush of pink through the trees.

Gwen scarfed down her triple bacon burger and inhaled her large fries, only stopping every once in a while to take a sip of her extra-large milkshake.

A mildly amused Miles enjoyed his own fries and meatball sub in companionable silence.

“Feelin’ better?” Gwen asks, still munching on the last bit of her burger, which has now thoroughly stained the lap of her costume with grease.

Miles laughs, wrapping up the second half of his sandwich for later. “Yeah, a quick nap and a good meal helps a lot,”

Gwen hums in thought. “You were out for… a while. Like, back at the parking lot. I was getting real worried there, actually,” she admits.

Miles glances at her, studying her face for a second. “… How long? I mean, you were crying, so I guess it was a while,”

Gwen rolls her eyes. “Can you stop bringing the crying back up again? I just… I got scared, okay? You didn’t tell me what your grand escape plan was before you… uh, passed out, so I mean...”

Miles is skeptical. “Uh huh, the escape plan. That’s what you were worried about that whole time, right?” He ribbed her a bit, intending for it to come off light-heartedly.

The tense silence that fell in that moment made him a bit nervous, though.

Gwen looked… upset.

He backpedaled. “Uhhh, I mean. Yeah, yeah, the escape plan! The escape plan... woulda been a real shame if I croaked back there before telling you what it was. Of course.” He clears his throat awkwardly.

Gwen offers him a small smile and starts clearing the wrappings and the trash around her folded legs.

“I… uh. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone this before. Well, not all of the details but. I don’t really do the whole friend thing anymore because of… I mean, I lost a friend before. And you’re Miles and-- I mean, not my Miles but the other Miles is-- was my friend, and I think we’re cool now, but when I saw you falling I just…”

Gwen sighs. “Sorry. I’m rambling. This is awkward.”

Miles leans back against the side of the truck bed, positioned in the same way that they were sitting back when they were having a bit of a heart-to-heart in the vents of Octavius’ compound. Funny how little moments like this seemed so serendipitous like that.

He studied her face again in the yellowing lights of the restaurant’s signs, thinking for a bit.

“Miles… the other Miles kind of told me some stuff. Not too many details, sure, but. Yeah,” he offered, trying to signal to her that he was down for a chat, no matter how depressing the topic got.

Not very many people in his world got to understand him on a deeper level, not even his own girlfriend. It was nice sitting next to someone who dealt with just as much trauma as him, if not more. It was... an opportunity for connection. Why not take it?

Gwen looked up at him. “Oh, you two talk about me?”

“Yeah, you’re all we talk about, your highness,” he laughs, then sobers up again. “Nah. I mean, y’know like, we talk about everybody. And he likes you, you know. So, yeah... sometimes you get brought up.”

Gwen sighs, leaning her head back against the truck bed and looking up at the stars above. “He shouldn’t, honestly. I think he can find someone from his dimension that… that’s gonna actually appreciate him, you know?” She looks back down into Miles’ eyes. “Not a self-deprecating thing, by the way. Don’t worry,”

Miles holds his hands up with an easy smile. “Not worrying,”

“Well good!” Gwen smirks. Then she shrugs. "I'm not sure it'd work out between us. That's all."

“... So about that back there… I took a look in the side mirror and uh,” he gestures to his shirt, the Prowler insignia now slightly messed up and blurred in some spots thanks to Gwen’s salty tears. "Yeah."

Gwen looks away, ashamed. “Yeah,” is all she says.

“Was your friend… a good friend?” Miles prodded a bit, trying to seem nonchalant about it.

Gwen saw right through it, even when she was purposefully avoiding looking at him. “Yeah. He was. My best friend,”

“Damn,” Miles replies. “I reminded you of him that much?”

Gwen laughs bitterly. “Don’t flatter yourself. I mean… I thought of you as my friend, which… y’know, you are, until we get to go our separate ways and forget all of this even happened. And I uh… I don’t like seeing friends get hurt. That’s all.”

Miles bobbed his head slowly, digesting this bit of information and taking a sip of his own milkshake.

"He, uhm." Gwen swallowed. "He died in my arms."

It was all she could say.

Miles winced because he understood. He really, really did.

After a few moments of silence, he cleared his throat. “Listen. I, uh. I wouldn’t mind calling you a friend after all of this, if you don’t mind. Like, even after we go home,” He strategically avoided eye contact with her. "We been through too much tonight to call each other strangers, right?"

Gwen smiled at him again. It was a sad smile. “Why don’t you have any friends, by the way? You seem cool. Well. When you’re not in work mode, that is.”

Miles chuckled. “Wow. Do I seem that lonely?”

Gwen shrugs. “The other Miles also tells me some things… sometimes. You just happen to come up every now and then, that’s all,” she manages as playfully as possible. She throws him a wink over her shoulder.

Miles' upper lip quirked up. “That little traitor. I’m giving him a wedgie the next time I see ‘im.”

Gwen barks out a laugh. “Good luck! He’s ten times stronger than you and he can go invisible,”

“Yep,” Miles nods to himself. “You definitely still have a crush on him.”

Gwen throws a fry at him and then they decide to finally dump their trash and continue their journey back into the city before the sun really started waking up and blinding poor Gwen, who was already learning how to drive on the fly and probably didn’t need the relentless sun rays beaming directly into her eyes while she was still at it.

They rode the rest of the way in much better spirits.

They drive past Newark, New Jersey and before Gwen knows it, they’re driving through Manhattan and reaching the Brooklyn Bridge.

“Okay okay, okay, okay okay okayokayokay,” she mutters to herself, hands firmly gripping the steering wheel and leaving slight indentations in the material. “I got this, I got this,”

Miles is now seated in the passenger seat, seatbelt firmly clicked in place. He’s leaned forward, ready to stop Gwen at any moment and pull the emergency brakes.

“Yeah, yeah, you got this, you got this! Don’t be intimidated by all the other cars around you, this ain’t our truck, remember? Everyone else is gonna be doing whatever the hell they wanna do, but don’t do anything stupid on the bridge, right? Otherwise, just keep your foot hovering over the brakes, like I told you before. Let this truck coast,”

Gwen tries her best to internalize all of his rapid-fire advice and not accidentally find herself flooring the gas by accident at the same time. She’s pretty sure her finger marks are going to be sunk into the polyurethane foam and possibly even the metal underneath forever.

She didn’t know who in the world owned this truck, but whoever he was, he was going to be real pissed off when he discovered it in the future.

Which, actually, speaking of…

“Sooo, how uh… where are we going to put this truck once we’re done with it? Should we… pull over soon, leave it in a parking lot somewhere and take the train the rest of the way?”

Miles chuckled. “Leave it? You kiddin’? This truck is basically brand new, pristine. We’re taking this straight to my uncle’s chop shop, we’re gonna take this stuff apart, sell a part here and there, keep the rest for our own gear.”

Gwen gave him a cursory glance. “Uh, your uncle has an auto shop? Huh. Dunno why that surprises me.”

“It’s not a legit business, that’s why. He only runs it as a front. We use it mostly to bring in abandoned cars, use the metals, wires and glass for our gear, other weapons we make to sell. Sometimes Aaron fixes other people’s cars and bikes for some money, though… and bribes.”

Gwen chuckles a bit. “Sounds about right. But I guess I don’t blame you guys. Gotta do what you can to… survive… right?”

She trails off as they get closer to Brooklyn's residential areas and see a rampant spike in crimes. Gwen’s Spider Sense goes off as she sees crime after crime being committed in the brand new hours of the dawn, when the sky hasn’t even finished lightening up to a nice baby blue yet.

“… I see that you guys, uhm… these New Yorkers here in this dimension are a… lively bunch, huh?” Gwen comments distractedly as she drives past someone actively committing grand theft auto.

“Yyyyep,” Miles sighs. “Home, sweet home.”

“You ever wonder what it’s like to live anywhere else in the world sometimes?”

“Only everyday. But us Morales never run from anything. So,” Miles shrugs.

Gwen gives him a fond look.

"Sure do wish I could stop some of these people, though-- wait. Is that man mugging that other guy over there?" She cranes her neck over the wheel to get a better look.

Miles grabs the wheel to keep them from veering into a line of parked cars. "How about we just keep driving, okay? Eyes on the road, girl."

Gwen laughs sheepishly. "Right! Sorry. Spiderwoman instincts."

"Yeah, trust me, I get it." Miles replies flatly. "Don't get distracted. This crime's ours to fight, not yours. Just get us home, like, alive please?"

After finally rolling up to Aaron’s garage at five in the morning, bright and early, Miles lowers himself down from the cab once again and limps over to ring the doorbell.

He presses it in a series of patterns that Gwen only vaguely recognizes before the metal garage door eventually starts rumbling open, revealing a slightly disheveled Aaron still in his PJs, but with a fly coat on as per usual, and some nice-looking Timbs. He was casually leaning against a vintage Cadillac.

He held a mug of coffee in one hand that read “WORLD’S WORST UNCLE” in bold lettering on one side.

Gwen bit her lip to keep from laughing.

“About damn time,” Aaron grumbles, scratching at his beard and pushing off of the Cadillac. “What took y’all so long?”

Miles only gives him a cursory glance before going around the front of the truck to help Gwen down from the cab and dive into the backseat to retrieve his stuff.

Aaron raises an eyebrow at her.

“Uh, hello… sir. I’m Gwen!” She responds, mostly to dispel the awkwardness that hung in the air.

Aaron eyes the truck as he paces casually towards the two teens, gaze occasionally flicking down to the purple jacket that Gwen still sported... that very clearly belonged to his nephew.

"What, uh," Aaron starts, "what... happened to you two?"

"Ah, you know. High risk life-threatening mission, the usual!" Gwen quips on auto-pilot. Her mouth moves faster than her brain does sometimes.

Miles followed Aaron’s gaze and quickly stepped in front of her, holding his pack out for him to take.

“I got it,” he informed Aaron. “All of it.”

Aaron made a noise of approval, taking the pack and examining it.

It still had a few cobwebs dangling off of it. He hummed in thought, eyeing his nephew once more.

“Sooo, we’re gonna go upstairs now, cool? I gotta clean this super awful and deep wound I got from… uh, saving Gwen here. Yeah, she was gonna be sushi if I didn’t jump in front of her. It was Doc Ock, by the way,” Miles continued, as they both made their way into the garage and towards the door in the back. “Doc Ock, that we killed, too. By the way. Mostly me, of course. But, y’know. No need to thank me or anything!”

Aaron laughs and shakes his head. "I'm tellin' Rio, kid. I am! I'm snitchin', I don't care."

"What!" Miles exclaims indignantly. "About what?!"

Aaron's shoulders are shaking. "I'm tellin' her you got another girl around now,"

Gwen laughed loudly, grabbing Miles by the back of his shirt and yanking him towards the back exit door.

“I do not! Do not call her! Bye!” Miles called out before stumbling into the landing that lead up to the elevator of his uncle’s building.

Miles apologized about his uncle in the elevator ride up, and when he opened the door to Aaron's spacious apartment, he kicked his shoes off and sighed with relief.

“Make yourself at home, by the way… mi casa es su casa, and all that,” he says nonchalantly as he peels his shirt off of his body, shedding gear on the floor all the way to the couch.

Gwen only stands by the door, jacket in hand, fiddling nervously with the material.

“I should… I should go.” She finally says after a moment of hesitation. Guilt weighed heavily on her shoulders. “I shouldn’t stick around if I really don’t need to--”

“Why, ‘cause of Spider Society rules?” Miles scoffs, pulling a first aid kit from under the couch and inspecting his wound. “Am I still bleeding on the side of my face, by the way?”

Gwen sighs. “No. And, no. You’ve stopped bleeding a while ago. Look…” she dumps his jacket onto the back of a computer chair and looks down at her watch. “This little adventure was very fun and all… but you got hurt because of me, and I should--”

She stops when she sees Miles’ wound. It looked nothing like she’d ever seen before on a person... and she’s seen her fair share of wounds.

The gaping… thing that Miles was inflicted with didn’t look like any wound she’d even experienced before.

It was green, still had a slight glow to it from the weird snake-like marks winding out from the center. The dried blood scabbing over didn’t bother her at all, she knew how ugly a stab wound could look most days, but the green glow…

It looked a lot like the glowing green circuits back in that power box that she destroyed at Octavius’ compound…

She gasped.

Miles looked up from his inspection and they locked eyes.

“Uhhh,” his pupils bounce around for a bit, trying to think of something to say. “It’s… it’s not as bad as it looks?”

Gwen winces and then swiftly turns around, immediately punching in her own dimension into the watchface. “I’d love to stick around… but I gotta go. Don’t die on me, okay?” She tells him, speaking quickly.

Miles is caught by surprise, but eventually concedes. He places a hand over his wound and nods in her direction. “Uhm. Yeah, cool. Will do. You uh, you take it easy, too. Yeah?”

Gwen only offers him a sad smile in return and her own watercolor-bright portal is immediately opened. Then, she’s stepping through it like she’s being chased down.

After the portal closes, everything that was in the vicinity settles down after floating in the air a bit.

Miles is left alone blinking in the place it used to be, unsure as to why Gwen just dipped on him like that out of nowhere.

He looks back down to his wound, only maybe slightly infected, but still very sure that the poison most likely worked itself through his body by now. Especially after that meatball sub and the fries...

Maybe seeing poisoned wounds upset her or something, he figured, shrugging and going back into the open kit laid next to him.

He starts cleaning his wound with isopropyl alcohol, wincing every now and then when the chemical stung a little harder as he peeled away dried blood.

It isn’t until after he’s done that he remembers their conversation about her best friend, back in the truck at the fast food joint.

He shuts the kit closed, tucks it back underneath the couch, and picks his phone up off of the counter where he usually leaves it before heading out to dangerous missions.

He selects and copies Gwen’s number from the Spider Band groupchat that he never sends messages in, opens a new message box, and sends only one text.

Thanks, btw. For everything.

[earanie]

so.

[the-daiz]

heyyy i know drive knight is definitely hard to write about, but.. do you think you could write something about him slowly gaining feelings for the reader? i think itd be really cute (assuming hes maybe a cyborg like genos)

Drive knight, falling inlove?

Genre; fluff, hcs

Pairing: Drive knight x reader

side note; Hi Anonn, I didn’t expect my first ask for opm to be about drive knight tbh. Drive is definitely a complicated ask,, also there isn’t a single fic about him damn. Anyhow, you ask and you shall receive!

also this is longer than expected

Drive knight is an interesting and mysterious character. There really isn’t much information about him I can go off of.

Because he has the same core thing Genos has, i’m going to assume he’s a cyborg for the sake of this fic.

Drive is cold and does not care for much, he is simply focused on his own goals. The well being of others doesn’t concern him, hero or civilian.

So it was new when you caught his eye. It was probably your intelligence and calculated skills that piqued his interest in you at first. Your logic-oriented approach to things, and even your resourcefulness made him want to learn more about you. He figured your abstract knowledge and talent could aid him in his own objectives.

He observes you for awhile. Not in a weird or stalkerish way, simply just watching you whenever the both of you so happened to be in the same space together. He silently absorbs every word you say and every action or move you take. It’s not obvious at all, actually.

When he finds that he wants to learn even more about you or maybe he thinks you have information that maybe of use to him, He’ll start engaging in conversations with you, in a very tactical manner though. Most of the time He’ll interrogate you about information or discuss theories he has. The convos are often emotionless and very straight to the point.

solely from these interactions, and the fact he does not reciprocate any type of greeting or pleasantries, you’ll likely be intimidated by him.

moving on,

It all starts when Drive knight has some new theory he thinks you might able to help him delve deeper into. When he goes up to you with his usual monotoned call for your name, which is his way of greeting people, you assumed, and his gaze falls onto a patched up area on the whole of your lower arm. He feels something in him shift slightly and he asks you about it, before he even starts talking about his theories. It honestly caught you off guard . You tell him that you dropped some hot oil on your arm while cooking and burned yourself but it was no big deal.

he stays silent for a few moments, his one mechanical eye leering down at you, then he simply tells you that you should be more careful, and sustaining a hindering wound while doing such a mundane task is un-exemplary. You weren’t sure if he was worried or disappointed in you…?

then he quickly switches the topic to what he originally came to discuss.

Afterwards, Drive knight thinks back to that interaction and confusion settles in him. He didn’t know why he was eager to know what had happened to you, and why he even advised you to be careful… He brushes it off.

it was when he starts picking up, and I mean actually noticing other things about you, that he starts to grow truly perplexed. The way you walked, sipped your tea, brushed off the creases in your outfit and straightened your back whenever someone approached you, and many other subtle characteristics he picked up on, lingered in the back of his mind.

he started appreciating you, and those subtle acts of yours. He enjoyed how human you were.

Again, however, he ignored that little nagging voice in his head.

Subconsciously, he started doing things out of character of him. He started greeting you with a ‘hello’, which he never did, and even mutely acknowledged your presence with a curt nod even if he didn’t want anything from you at that time.

his core starts to warm up slightly when he’s speaking to you, and sometimes he gets lost in your eyes or even just your features when you’re speaking. He starts occasionally feeling worried about you, or might randomly start to wonder what you’re currently doing.

Of course, when he starts to act more warmly to you, you start seeking him out yourself, maybe just for advice or discuss your own theories or even just to tell him something random that happened to you.

When he finally realizes that his feelings towards you were romantic, he’s in conflict with himself. Does he just have to live with these feelings, at least, until they diminish and satisfy them with the small interactions you have? Would they distract him from ultimate ambition? Would his feelings grow to the point a mere exchange of words with you here or there might not satisfy him?

Thankfully, the feelings he has toward you rarely ever distract him. Even though you do cross his mind every now and then, it’s nothing too intense or he couldn’t push away.

He still prioritizes his goal above everything else.

He would start to view his feelings for you as simply another variable to account for. Maybe not positively at first. He starts analyzing you from a distance, trying to figure out why you make him feel the way he does.

after awhile of trying to grapple his emotions, he just comes to the conclusion that this was just a part of human connections, and if he wanted to live amongst them, he must learn to adapt to this.

After a very long while, he’ll confess. He’s very matter-of-factly about it, too. “Through my observations, I have determined that I hold a special interest in you. I would like to pursue further understanding of this dynamic.” And yada yada.

when you reciprocate his feelings, he feels something being lifted off his chest, something he didn’t even know was there.

how he acts in your relationship… very professional? He’s not affectionate, not physically or verbally, doesn’t really have a label for you either. He won’t call you his partner, boyfriend/girlfriend. You’re just Y/n to him, someone Maybe if you probe him about it, he’ll refer to you as his significant other.

his love language is acts of service,

his protectiveness over you would likely increase after you’ve made it “official”. In a very strategic way. He’ll analyze the threat then neutralize it as quickly and efficiently as possible before you’re even aware of any danger. And this also counts for unserious dangers.

ex: the eggs had run out but you were planning to have eggs for breakfast. Drive will quickly buy you some eggs and put them in the fridge before you even notice.

He would also improve your living conditions by installing Security systems, or fixing any type of mechanical/electronical issue.

he also gives you gifts that are more efficient than they are sentimental. Probably something that would personally help you or make your life easier.

Doesn’t complement you much on his own. If you ask if he likes your outfit or you if you look good, he’ll say yes (or answer honestly), really doesn’t go further than that.

Kissing… he can’t kiss you obviously, but you can kiss him. He doesn’t mind when or if you kiss him, he actually kind of likes it.

Won’t seek out sensual intimacy with you but will reciprocate it, rather awkwardly, if you offer it. (Ex: holding hands, hugging, cuddling, possibly.)

He generally just loves having conversations with you, whether they’re tactical or just random talks about anything.

[builtbybrokenbells]

Spitfire | ii

Jake falls for an enigmatic girl at the bar, but she gets away before he could get her number. Although a bit heartbroken, he continues on with life anyhow. He discovers a local coffee shop that adorns fantastic reviews, but doesn’t realize it’s the ‘spitfire’s’ long time favourite. He thinks that maybe fate is at play after all.

Read part one here

Read part three here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: swearing, mentions of a physical fight, mentions of cheating and bad past relationships, deep convo that’s slightly sad, mentions of drinking, fluff, getting to know each other esque cuteness. I think that’s it, nothing too heavy!

hi! im really liking writing this so far, sorry it took me a little while to get this chapter out. im recovering from quite the sickness atm. i think this is turning into quite a slowburn little story. im so down bad for domesticity and romance, also just absolutely feral for Jake in general. hope you enjoy, and as always don’t mind any grammar mistakes and please be kind!! 🫶🏻

~

The small coffee shop was crowded, busy with hungover university go-ers and old couples on their weekly outings. Late morning on a Sunday was the worst time to go to a cafe, but they were the best cure for a hangover. Jake had scoured the internet for the best rated store that was within walking distance. Now, he stood in line, absentmindedly staring at the menu. He was still caught up in the memories of the night prior, unable to stop thinking about the girl he’d met at the bar. Once his brothers got him back to the hotel, he’d found it almost impossible to sleep. He’d stared at his phone all night, searching your first name on every social media he owned. Turns out, there were a lot of girls with the same name as you. That, or you didn’t have a very large internet presence. He was left empty-handed and dejected, wondering if he’d ever see you again.

When you’d returned home, little to his knowledge, you’d done the same. It wasn’t very hard to find him, though. All it took was a little search of nearby concerts to find the name of his band, and from there it was easy as pie. You had his account open on your Instagram all day, staring at it with your finger hovering over the follow button. You wished you could just get over yourself and follow him. For all you knew, he wouldn’t even notice the notification. Still, you were on the fence about him. Sure, he was attractive, seemed nice enough, and wasn’t disrespectful, but the possibility of him turning out to be an asshole was still very real. The possibility of him turning out to be a distraction was even larger.

So, you kept his page open in the background on your phone while you threw a sweater on. You then shoved your phone in your pocket, ignoring the incessant nagging in the back of your mind. You were certain you could forget about him within a few days. You convinced yourself that you were only so fixated on him because it was new and exciting. The novelty would wear off soon enough.

You slipped on some shoes, throwing your hair back in a bun and walked out the front door of your house. When you got outside, you took a look at your hand, which was bruised from the night before. You smiled at the memory, knowing that your ex had gotten what he deserved. The ache in your knuckles was tolerable if it meant he’d finally leave you alone. You set off down the street, barely looking at the people who walked past you. When you turned the corner, a strip of local owned business came into sight. It was bustling, much busier than usual for a regular Sunday. You smiled to yourself, passing by a record store you’d frequented. The owner was sitting in the window by the register. You gave a small knock on the glass, catching his attention. Once he’d recognized you, he gave a wave.

You mouthed that you’d see him later, making a point to remember to stop before you went home. He gave a thumbs up before you disappeared from the window. You continued on your walk with your main objective never leaving your mind. Eventually, you reached the front of a familiar building, peering inside and seeing it was very crowded. As you reached for the handle of the door to your favourite cafe, your phone started to ring. You pulled it out of your pocket, seeing one of your brother’s names pop up on your screen. You put the phone to your ear after accepting the call. ���What?”

“Oh, yeah, nice to hear your voice, too.” The sarcasm was laced in his words. You chuckled.

“No really, what’s up?” You stepped inside the building, immediately filling the phone with background chatter.

“Where are you, the middle of a fucking madhouse?”

“Coffee shop.” You responded, getting into line.

“Recovering from last night?” He questioned with a knowing tone.

“How do you know about last night, Sam?” You pulled your wallet out of your pocket, checking to make sure you’d picked up the right one before you left.

“Little birdie told me,” he sing-songed. You were certain Eve had already texted him and told him. She was nothing short of hopelessly in love with him, and he with her. They’d clicked instantly when they met. If not for the distance between where they lived, you were sure they’d be married with six kids already. She’d never admit it, but you knew how often they talked. If anything, you thought it was sweet. “What did I tell you about getting into fist fights with grown men?”

“Oh, shut up.” You rolled your eyes. “He deserved it.”

“Yeah no doubt about that, but that doesn’t mean you should pick fights with notoriously aggressive people. A man, at that.” Your phone vibrated against your head. You pulled it back to see he was FaceTiming you. You grabbed your headphones from your pocket, slipping one in your ear and accepting the video. When it connected, his face was uncomfortably close to the camera.

“Are you trying to say men are stronger than women?” You raised an eyebrow.

“No, I’m saying he’s twice your size and is crazy enough to kill you.” He pulled his phone back, letting you get the full view of his face.

“Is that Alex?” You asked, noticing a figure sitting on his couch behind him, hopefully changing the topic for good. He moved so you could see the sofa. “Brother!” You exclaimed. He turned his head to look at the camera. He immediately waved, a smile crossing his face.

“So you’re excited to see him, but not me?” Sam feigned a look of hurt, sitting next to your eldest brother.

“Yeah, pretty much.” You laughed. “He’s my favourite.”

“You’re my favourite too, squirt!” Alex was clearly high, Xbox controller in his hand and a bowl of cereal on his lap in front of him.

“Thanks, guys.” Sam scoffed, setting his phone up on the coffee table, already tired of holding it up.

“Are you guys stoned at eight in the morning?” You asked, barely being able to control your giggles.

“It’s the weekend, baby. Time doesn’t exist.” Alex stated, giving a lazy smile. “When are you coming home?”

“You guys could always come visit me!” You exclaimed, checking to see how far the line had progressed. The two muttered an agreement, but didn’t give a straight answer. You knew they would; at least twice a year all of your brothers flew out to stay for a while, but it was hard to coordinate. Five schedules aligning was not easy in the adult world. “I’ve got four exams and three essays to do in the next two weeks. After that, I’ll come home to visit for a little while.” You assured him. As much as they got on your nerves growing up, they were, without a doubt, your best friends in the whole world.

“If she doesn’t get herself killed.” Sam interjected.

“Yeah, I heard about that, Squirt.” Alex said, now putting his focus fully on you. “I know we taught you how to fight, but you can’t put yourself in danger. You seem to be getting into fights every time you go out.” There it was; the concerned older brother act.

“Yeah, whatever. I was perfectly fine. He’s a little bitch, anyway. Hopefully he takes the hint this time.” You stepped forward, realizing you were next in line. “Listen, I’ll call you guys later. I’ve got to order.” You told them. A look of sadness crossed their faces. You felt guilty, knowing you had been neglecting them lately. “I love you both. I promise I’ll call tonight before bed.”

“Okay, I’ll hold you to it.” Alex pointed at the camera, a stern look on his face. You chuckled. “We love you too.”

“Try not to punch the barista if they get your order wrong.” Sam snickered.

“Fuck you, Sam.” You couldn’t help but smile while you said it. “You’re still my least favourite.” This time, your voice caught the attention of someone ahead of you that was waiting for their order. He looked over, catching sight of you smiling down at your phone. He was shocked, blinking hard and wondering if he was just imagining you standing in line. When his eyes refocused and you were still there, his heart sped.

“Love you!” Sam exclaimed just as you ended the call. You shoved your phone back in your pocket, taking out your earbud.

“Who’s Sam?” A low voice sounded from in front of you. You looked up, eyes wide at the sudden interaction. A smirk was adorned on a set of lips that you hadn’t been able to get out of your head all morning.

“Jake?” You whispered, not believing you’d ran into him.

“We meet again, witchy woman.” His smile was wide, teeth showing and eyes crinkled.

“You really must be following me, rockstar.” You couldn’t bite back the grin that was growing.

“I was here first, so I think, if anything, you’re the one following me.” He teased.

“If that’s what you’d like to believe, I’ll let it slide.” You both gave a small chuckle. Silence ensued only for a second before he spoke again.

“Seems like fate really wants us to get to know each other.” You took in the sight of him, light wash jeans and plain grey t-shirt, sunglasses low on his nose. Somehow, he was still just as attractive as he was the night prior, proving the liquor wasn’t skewing your opinion. “So, is this Sam some competition for me?” He asked. You let out a little laugh, shaking your head.

“He’s my younger brother. No need to worry, rockstar.” He cocked his head to the side, a noise of humour falling from him.

“I’ve got a younger brother named Sam, too.” His eyes scanned your face, making you a bit nervous. You definitely weren’t wearing your best attire, but he still seemed to look at you like you were the prettiest girl he’d ever seen.

“Small world, huh?” You breathed.

“Very,” the conversation was interrupted by the cashier calling you over. Jake turned, looking at the worker and stepping out of your way. He followed you to the counter, though, not wanting you to leave his sight.

“Uh, can I get my usual coffee and a blueberry muffin, please?” You asked her. She rang it in, not having to ask for any clarification. You’d frequented the cafe so often that they usually knew what time of day you’d be there.

“Anything else, y/n?” She asked. You shook your head, holding up your debit card.

“I’ll get it.” Jake whispered, gently nudging you out of the way.

“No, you don’t have to.” You shot him down.

“I insist,” he pulled his card out, tapping it before you had the chance. You shook your head, knowing he was never going to let you pay. You pulled out a five dollar bill from the back of your phone case, setting it down on the counter. The two of you walked to the waiting area silently, not sure where to go from there. You only waited a second before Jake’s order was up on the counter. He grabbed it, not making any move to leave.

“Any plans for the day?” You looked at him through the corner of your eye.

“I think I have a pretty clear schedule.” He smiled. “What about you?”

“I think I could fit you in.” You whispered, turning your head towards him. “I owe you a memorable time in Baltimore, if I remember correctly.”

“Hm, yeah,” he pretended to ponder, his thumb and forefinger taking to his chin. “I think I do recall something about that.” You couldn’t help but laugh at him. “What do you have in mind, miss engineer?” You watched him for a moment, slightly amazed that he’d remembered what you told him the night before.

“I’m sure we can figure something out.” A worker placed your order on the counter, giving you a wave. You returned it, feeling slightly guilty that you couldn’t remember his name. “Thanks! I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You said, grabbing your cup and the little bag that adorned your breakfast. You gave Jake a look, nodding your head towards the door. The two of you hurried out, returning to the crowded sidewalk. “There’s a little park on the next street over. It’s usually pretty quiet there, if you wanted to eat in peace.” You told him. He gave a nod, instantly okay with anything you suggested if it meant he got to spend time with you.

You grabbed his hand, weaving around a corner into a small alleyway that lead to the next street. You only had to walk for a minute before the gates to the recreation area were in view. There was a small playground for the children with a few slides and swing sets, but it was mostly patches of small flower gardens and filled with benches and picnic tables. You made your way towards a secluded table that was shaded by a tree, never once letting go of the boys hand. You sat down, motioning for him to take a seat across from you. The first few moments were filled with silence, neither of you sure of what to say. Eventually, he spoke up.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” he chuckled, looking up at you and taking his sunglasses off.

“That makes two of us.” You said, taking your muffin out and unwrapping it. “Thanks for breakfast, by the way.”

“It was my pleasure.” He assured you.

“I think you forgot to mention that your band was pretty popular, rockstar.” You picked at the top of the muffin, taking small bits off at a time. “You’re telling me I’ve got to compete with almost a million other girls?”

“So you looked me up?” He smirked. You rolled your eyes. “Don’t worry, I tried to find you too.” He admitted, eyes falling on his coffee cup. “Turns out there’s a lot of people with the same first name as you.”

“Well, my parents weren’t too original with names, seeing as we have brothers with the same one.” You joked. “Was that him at the bar with you, last night?”

“Yeah, all of my brothers were there. Sam is the taller one with long hair. Josh is the one with the half-assed mullet.” He chuckled.

“Are you and Josh twins? I thought you looked alike.”

“Yeah, we are. And Danny, he’s our best friend. He’s not actually related to us, but he’s our brother, too.” He explained. You gave a slow nod.

“Curly hair?”

“Yeah,” he replied “and that’s the band.”

“Interesting. So your mom gave birth to a set of musical prodigies?” He let out another laugh, this one louder and more relaxed. You were certain you could listen to it all day.

“I guess you could say that.” He paused, taking a sip of his drink. “What about you? Do you just have the one?” You could have cackled at the thought, not being able to imagine a world with only one brother.

“Four,” he nearly choked on his beverage.

“Wow, okay.” He cleared his throat. “So I’ll have an army after me if I fuck this up.” You smiled, shaking your head.

“They’re all bark, no bite. I throw a better punch than all of them put together.” You assured him. He knew you weren’t lying, recalling the ones you’d thrown the night before. “Alex is the oldest, he’s permanently stoned. Then Will, who hates to admit he’s related to us,” you joked “Austin is the middle child, and he’ll never let us forget it. I’m next, the only girl so ultimately the favourite, and then Sammy, the baby, and the most annoying person I’ve ever met in my whole life.”

“I think that’s a brother thing.” He confided, agreeing with you.

“So it’s just you and your two brothers? Well, and the rent-a-kid?” He let out another belly-laugh, making it hard for you to hold back a smile.

“No, we have a sister, too. Her name’s Veronica.”

“So technically we have the same type of family. A fuck ton of brothers and one lonely girl in the mess of testosterone.” You said, swallowing down another bit of muffin.

“Seems so,” he picked at the sandwich he’d bought for himself. “Now I know why you can fight like that.” Your cheeks tinged pink at the memory.

“Only when it’s deserved.” You corrected.

“Yeah, seemed like that guy did deserve it.”

“You have no idea.” He didn’t respond right away, but his eyes lingered over you. There was so much he wanted to ask; so much he was itching to know, but he had no clue where to begin, or if you even wanted that.

“I’d like to know, if you’re ever willing.” He finally said. You watched him for a moment, not giving him any reaction.

“Do you really, though?” You asked, curiosity getting the best of you.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, do you really want to hear the stories, or do you just want to fuck and move on?” You studied his face, waiting to see a hint of a lie in his answer.

“I want to know.” He said, just as serious as you were. “I really like you, y/n.” You chuckled, leaning back and looking away from him now.

“Yeah, they all say that.” You dismissed him.

“I’m serious,”

“You don’t even know me, Jake.”

“Then let me.” His stern tone brought your attention back to him. “You had me head over heels just by existing last night. Then, you leave without my number and we just happen to run into each other again? You have to feel something, too. I can’t be making this up.” You took a long sip from your latte, avoiding the statement for as long as you could.

“I do, too.” You eventually sighed. “But that doesn’t matter. I said I was done with relationships. Even if we try to start something, you’re leaving. I’m never going to see you again.”

“You think I’d leave and never see you again?” He wasn’t condescending when he asked, but more inquisitive. You gave a shrug.

“You travel the world for a living. You meet new girls every day, ones throwing themselves at you non-stop. I can’t compete with that. I’m stuck here for at least two more years. You’re going to forget about me as soon as you step foot on that plane.” Your fingers played with the sleeve on the cardboard cup, scared to look up at his face.

“I’m interested in you. I knew from the minute I saw you at the bar last night, I wanted to know you. You’ve got nobody to compete with, because you’re the only person I’m looking at.” He chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. “There is no possibility of me ever forgetting about you, even if this doesn’t go anywhere.” He caught your eyes. You held his gaze for a moment. The sincerity he held in them was something you’d never seen before.

“Okay,” you straightened up, leaning closer to him. “I will give you my phone number. If, after you leave, of course,” you paused “you’re still thinking about me, use it.” A grin started to blossom on his lips. “But you better mean it, rockstar. There’s no back and forth, or changing your mind every other day: if you want it, you can have it, but I do not fuck around and I do not give second chances.”

“Thank god, because I don’t think I could leave here without it.” You both shared a giggle, feeling the tension dissipate. “You don’t have to worry about having to give me a second chance. I’m not stupid enough to do something that would risk losing you.” A small smile broke out on your face, comfortable with the agreement.

“Okay, rockstar. I’ll hold you to it, then.” You said, reaching across the table. His hand found yours immediately, thumb running over the smooth skin. Your fingers danced together, becoming familiar with the feeling of holding each other. You noticed the callouses on his fingertips, prominent on his otherwise soft hand. “Give me your phone.” Without question, he used his free hand to pull it from his pocket. He placed it in front of you after unlocking it. You picked it up, going straight to his contacts and adding your number. You clicked the icon for the camera, holding the phone up and taking a quick picture of your smiling face. You left the nickname blank, letting him make that decision on his own.

He took it back, studying it for a moment before typing something in. After a second, your own phone chimed, signifying a new message coming through. You looked at it, unable to hold back a laugh. He had texted a simple ‘hi’ with a smiley face. You sent one back, setting his contact name as ‘Rockstar’. “Thinking of me already?” You teased.

“Had to make sure you gave me your real number.” He put his phone back in his pocket, wanting to keep his full attention on you.

“Don’t trust me?”

“Just don’t want you to get away again.” He breathed. The uncertainty about him was slowly disappearing the longer you were around him. Silence ensued again, his hand still intertwined with yours. The coffee in your cup was quickly coming to an end, and you were eager to show him around the town, now.

“Come on,” you stood, finishing the last of your drink and tossing your garbage in a nearby trash can.

“Where are we going?” He asked, standing, too.

“You’ll see.” You reached for his hand again. He accepted after slipping his glasses back on. You started at a slow pace, in no rush to get anywhere. You led him back to the street the coffee shop was on, passing by a few friendly faces from campus. You stopped in front of the record store, excited to show him what was inside. You prompted him to enter first, following behind him.

He took in the sight; the walls lined with posters and music memorabilia. There were rows of records, sorted by genre and in alphabetical order. He looked at you, giving you a small smile. You waited, wanting to see where he went first. He cautiously approached the rock section, eyes lingering over the surplus of vinyls with a childlike glimmer in them. You looked through bins yourself, but occasionally looked over at him to see what caught his attention. After a moment, he pulled one out. You focused in his direction, trying to see which one he’d grabbed.

“Hendrix?” You asked, recognizing the cover. He nodded, turning it so you could see it too. “That one’s my favourite, I bought it a couple months ago.” You smiled.

“‘Electric Ladyland’ is your favourite?” He asked, now turning his attention fully on you.

“Yeah. Voodoo Child and Crosstown Traffic are my favourite songs from him. ‘Are You Experienced’ was a good album, and it’s almost everyone’s favourite. I have that one too, but that one was my favourite.” You explained. He gave a slow nod, appreciating your opinion. Just as he was about to respond, the calling of your name caught you off guard. You turned, seeing the owner of the store sitting at the register.

“I got your order in, darlin’.” Your expression lit up, immediately leaving Jake to join him at the front of the store. You took a seat on one of the stools he had by the counter. “Was wondering when you were coming back, I was going to give you a call.” He picked up a box from below the counter, setting it in front of you. Jake had joined you now, standing behind you.

“I meant to swing by sooner, just got busy.” You explained. He waved you off, not too worried about it.

“I know you’re busy with all of your schoolwork. You’re here now, that’s what matters.” He assured you. You leaned forward, opening the flaps of the cardboard. You grabbed the records from inside, placing them in front of you. “Some good picks in there.” He complimented.

“Thanks, Dave.” You smiled. Jake watched over your shoulder as you sorted through them. Janis Joplin, The Doors, and a Santana album.

“I had trouble finding the ‘Abraxas’ album.” He admitted. “That’s why it took so long to get it.”

“I’m just glad you found it; I’ve been looking for it for years.” You said, looking up at him. “Thank you so much.”

“No trouble, kid. Let me know if you want anything else.” You nodded, appreciative that he was so kind. “So, who’s this poor boy you’ve got with you today?” He had a smirk on his face, looking behind you at Jake.

“Oh! This is Jake, I met him last night. He’s just in town visiting, so I thought I’d show him some of the best spots.” You were a bit embarrassed that you’d forgotten to introduce him. Jake stepped forward, holding his hand out for the owner to shake.

“Nice to meet you,” he smiled.

“You, too. I’m Dave, I own the place.” The older gentleman responded. “You like music, son?”

“Yeah, I do. Same type of stuff she likes.” He informed him. You rolled your eyes, cutting in.

“He’s a musician,” you added. “I haven’t heard him play, but his band is pretty popular from what I’ve seen.”

“Is that so?” Dave was pleasantly surprised. “I was in a band back in my day, didn’t get very far though.” He chuckled. “What’s it called?”

“Oh, uh, Greta Van Fleet.” He answered, seeming a bit shy from being put on the spot. Dave stood, looking past him for a moment before walking towards the mounds of records. He looked through a bin for a moment before stopping and pulling one out. He flashed the cover towards you both. “Yeah, that’s us!” Jake let out a small laugh, shocked at the sight.

“I did a big order a couple weeks ago, when I was browsing I saw the name pop up, thought I’d bring some in. I haven’t got a chance to listen to one yet, though.”

“That’s super cool,” Jake said, his cheeks slightly pink. You grinned at the interaction, knowing he was amazed that his record was here. Dave brought it over, handing it to you so you could get a look. You grabbed it, inspecting it for a moment. “That was our first EP.” He explained. You flipped it around, looking at the songs on the back.

“I think I have some more over there, too.” Dave said, sitting back down in his computer chair. You got up and walked over to where the older man had been moments before. You sifted through and stopped, pulling two more out.

“‘Anthem of the Peaceful Army’, and… ‘The Battle at Garden’s Gate’?” You asked.

“Yeah, those are ours, too.” He walked over to meet you, his hand falling on your lower back and looking over your shoulder.

“What’s your best album, rockstar?” You turned your head to look up at him. He wasn’t very much taller than you, more or less the perfect height.

“I don’t think I could pick a favourite.” He chuckled. “That one’s our newest one, the one we’re doing the tour for, now.” He pointed at the black album with gold detail. “But the other ones all paved the way for us to get here.”

“Spoken like a true musician.” You giggled, taking them back to the counter with you. “I guess I’ll have to check them all out, then.” He broke off, still browsing through all of the options.

“You’re buying all of them?” He asked, not believing what he’d heard.

“Well, if I’m gonna be your biggest fan, I’m going to have to commit to it, aren’t I?” He smiled to himself at your words. “I do expect an autograph, though.”

“I think I can do that.” He called back as you gathered all of your purchases. Dave rang them in on his register, grabbing a bag for you when he finished. You pulled out your card, completing the transaction without a word. Dave bagged the records, handing you a receipt. Jake appeared behind you again, now placing something of his own on the counter. You looked down, recognizing the cover immediately. He’d picked up the self-titled Eagles album, which contained the song he’d pegged as your nickname. When he caught you looking, he gave a smirk. “Maybe I can get your autograph, too.” He joked.

“You guys are all set.” Dave said, handing Jake his receipt. “Nice to meet you, Jake.” He said with a smile.

“Nice to meet you, too, sir.” Jake replied. Dave chuckled at the formality.

“Be careful with her, now. She’s a wild one.” It was your turn to laugh, opening the door for your company.

“Don’t scare the man away, Dave!” You teased.

“You know I’m joking. He seems like he can handle ya.” He gave a chuckle. “See you later, y/n.”

“Bye!” You called out as you stepped outside. Jake gently let the door fall closed behind him, making sure it didn’t slam. You looked at him over your shoulder as you continued to walk up the street, admiring the way the sun casted over his face.

You didn’t know him yet, but every part of you wanted to. From what you’d seen of him already, he was different than any boy who’d pursued you before. He was careful, collected and quiet, but he looked at you like a person, rather than just someone to fuck. Even if you never saw him again, the memory of knowing him for a day was worth more than knowing someone lesser for a lifetime. He caught up to you, grabbing your hand before you could get too far away from him. He wasn’t sure where you were taking him, but he was happy to be with you. You walked in silence, bag of records swinging in time with your steps. You couldn’t help but think about how nice his hand felt in yours, wondering if fate really was at play for you to end up here.

You brought him to a large recreation centre, seeing bodies pooling around the doorway. You politely passed through, leading him inside. The usually empty main room buzzed with chatter, small booths and tables lining the perimeter with a few large strips through the middle. “Farmer’s market?” He asked, taking in the sight.

“Yeah, every Sunday they usually have one here. They’ve got lots of cool stuff. Hope you don’t mind.” You smiled.

“No! I think it’s nice,” he assured you. “I love stuff like this.”

“I usually check it out every week. Something small to get out of the house, plus they have produce and preserves, other farm fresh food, and lots of little knickknacks. I like getting to know the vendors, too.” You explained. He listened carefully, nodding along with your words.

“You seem to know everyone. The bartender, that bouncer, the guy from the record store…” he listed, trailing off at the end.

“I love people. I think they’re interesting.” You explained, walking forward to a small booth with homemade jams. “I think everybody’s story is worth telling, but nobody ever wants to listen, so I do. It’s made me some fantastic friendships, although some unlikely.” You chuckled, peering at the different flavours on the labels of the jars. “It’s also gotten me into some sticky situations, like the guy at the bar. I like to see the best in people, but unfortunately some people are just bad. Seems like we always figure that out after it’s too late.”

His eyes never left you, soaking in your explanation. “But, I wouldn’t change it, I guess. As much as that particular person sucked, I never would have known for sure if I never got to know him. Everybody deserves a chance, but rarely do they deserve a second. Hence why I told you that, earlier.”

“Is that why you decided to get to know me?” He asked, looking over your shoulder at a bottle you’d picked up.

“I’ll take this one, please.” You smiled at the lady selling.

“Five dollars, please.” She smiled. You fished some change from your wallet, handing it over to her.

“Thank you.” You smiled. “Hope business is well today.” The older woman smiled, letting you know it was, then wishing you a good day. You moved on, Jake following and still waiting for a response. “I suppose so,” you finally told him “after the last guy, I kind of swore off romance in general. When Mike told me you were asking about me, I wasn’t really interested, like at all.” You gave a humourless chuckle. “But you came over, and you were attractive, and I was drunk. Thought one drink wouldn’t hurt and it would end there. Then you started talking, and you were genuinely interested in what I had to say. I’m not used to that. When I talk to everyone, they love telling me about their life, because nobody’s ever really asked them, but a lot of them forget to do it back.”

“I don’t know how anyone would not want to hear all about you,” he mumbled. You shrugged it off.

“You’d be surprised. Some people go their whole lives without being asked about themselves, so when the time comes, they’re so happy about it that they forget how lonely it feels.” You explained. “And that’s fine. I like listening, way more than I’ve ever liked telling. I made it a point to get to know as many people as I could when I moved here. In three years, I could probably tell you more stories about the residents here than others who’ve known them their entire lives. But I suppose it does get a little isolating, knowing so much about everyone, but nobody really knowing me.” He was captivated in your story, really wanting to hear what you were telling him. He didn’t want to make you feel like others had. You walked to the next booth, looking at a row of handmade jewelry.

“When you wanted to know me, when you asked me all of those questions… it just made me feel a bit different, I think. I was really going to let you take me home. Then all of that other shit happened, and I was worried that you’d believe the stuff he was saying.” Jake was taken back, sad that you even considered he’d believe a bad word about you without knowing you. “You wouldn’t have been the first.” You sighed. “When I was running away, I regretted it before I even lost sight of you. I wanted to turn back, but I guess I was scared. I still am, but that’s a different story.” You picked up a beaded bracelet with a small charm hanging from it, inspecting it carefully.

“I think that would suit you very well, y/n.” You looked up, noticing the person on the other side of the table.

“Well hello, Linda.” You smiled. “I haven’t seen you here in a while.”

“Yeah, I took a little break, but had some free time and decided to come back.” She told you.

“How’s your daughter doing?” You asked.

“She’s good, getting eager for the fall. I made sure to let her know all of that stuff you told me about the school. And she even bought her prom dress, yesterday.”

“Exciting!” You exclaimed. “Did she end up going with the red one?” The woman nodded, a sad smile crossing her lips.

“I can’t believe she’s all grown up.” She sighed.

“Time flies, but she’s gonna do awesome. Cognitive Science is a super competitive program, so she’s already ahead of the game.” You promised. “And she has my number if she needs any help around campus.” You reminded.

“And we appreciate it, very much.” The woman assured you. “You graduate your bachelor this year, right?” You nodded, a grin breaking out on your face.

“It’s crazy, but yeah. It’s been a long few years, but I’m ready to move on to the next challenge.” You told her.

“Have the bracelet, dear. As a graduation present, and a thank you for all your help.”

“Oh, no, Linda. That’s okay, I know you work hard on these.”

“No, really! I’m more than happy to, you’re always such a pleasure to talk to. You’ve been so helpful with the university thing. I never went, I have no idea how to help her and you always have an answer.” She smiled. You returned it, feeling your heart swell with affection.

“Thank you, and I love helping you guys out. You’ve always been kind to me. Like I said, if she has any questions don’t be scared to give me a call.” You said.

“Of course, have a good rest of your day, dear.”

“You, too!” You returned the well wish before continuing on your journey. Jake could only laugh at the interaction.

“You really do know everyone.” He said, watching you slip the bracelet on.

“Like I said, I come here every weekend. She used to be here all of the time, I got to know her pretty well. Her daughter got accepted to Hopkins in the fall, so I’ve been helping them transition into it.”

“That’s really nice of you.” He said. His attention was caught by a stand overflowing with freshly cut flowers. He noticed that you’d already found your focus on a produce booth, looking over the fruits and vegetables. He managed to break away from you without you knowing, sneaking across the walkway to look over the bouquets.

His eyes landed on a bunch of wildflowers, finding that it seemed to suit you better than any of the different coloured roses. He asked the vendor if he could take that one, pulling out his wallet and checking if you’d noticed he was gone. The lady asked if he wanted a card for it, to which he gave a nod. “Uh, can I borrow a pen?” He asked, a bit sheepishly as he handed the money over the counter. She gave him his change and a pen. He used the small open space on the counter to scribble a note on the card.

Lucky to be the one to know you, witchy woman

- your rockstar x

He handed it back, thanking her and quickly turning back to you. He noticed you were just finishing up buying a basket of food, relieved that you hadn’t caught him in the act. As you were putting your wallet back in your pocket, you finally turned to notice Jake wasn’t beside you anymore. You turned slightly, looking behind you to try and locate him. He was standing with a childish grin, holding the flowers to his chest when you caught sight of him. You couldn’t help but giggle, feeling a redness creep to your cheeks.

“For me?” You asked as he stepped towards you.

“No, I bought them for Josh, actually. Just because he’s such a great brother.” He joked, causing a laugh to fall from your lips.

“I don’t know him, but I’m sure he’d appreciate it.” You continued on with the humour. He extended his arm, holding them out for you. You took the bouquet, inspecting the beauty of it. Your eyes fell over the card, feeling butterflies in your stomach as you read the words. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten flowers before.” He gave you an incredulous look. You shrugged at his response.

“I’m glad I could be the first,” he chose not to say what he wanted to about your past relationships, trying to keep the interaction as light as possible.

“Thank you, Jake.” You leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek, lingering there for a moment. He smiled to himself, looking down at you with a hint of a blush. You rearranged your items, placing the flowers into the basket with your produce. He stopped you, taking it from your hand completely.

“I’ll hold it for you. I’ve only got one bag.” He assured you, making sure the flowers were secure before you continued walking.

“And to finish what I was saying earlier,” you said as you turned the corner to the next aisle of tables. “It sucked leaving you there last night. I really wanted to turn around, or to tell you to come with me, but I got in my own head. Same with this morning. I could have followed your Instagram and shot you a message, but I’m still scared, I think. My love life has never been too kind to me, and I grouped you in with the rest of them. I don’t think that was fair.” You explained.

“I get why, though. When we get hurt enough, we tend to forget that good people still exist. It’s normal, and I don’t hold that against you.” You looked up at him, studying him for a moment.

“What about you, rockstar?” He met your eyes, cocking his eyebrow up as if to ask ‘what’. “You seem to be very understanding about it, so I can only assume it’s happened to you, too.” He didn’t answer right away, formulating the best way to respond.

“Playing music has always been my dream, you know.” He started. You gave a nod, clinging on to his story, wanting to know him as bad as he wanted to know you. “And I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I get to spend every day with my brothers, making awesome music that makes people feel something.” You found yourself smiling softly, feeling the passion for his work just by the tone of his voice. “But it gets lonely. Personal lives and fame don’t really… mix. I have friends, yeah, but not a lot of good ones. It’s hard, you know, always being gone. People don’t try to keep in contact, or they think that I don’t miss them because I’m so busy travelling the world.” He paused, looking down at you for a second. “And a lot of people don’t want to know me, for me. They like the fame, or the superficiality, because they feel like they only need to know me on a surface level and never have to put in too much effort.”

Your heart ached at his words, realizing that you may have misjudged him in the beginning. No doubt he was lonely on the road, never having any constants. And you had no doubt that loads of people wanted to know him for the fame, or perks, or the novelty of knowing a musician. You felt a little guilty, knowing that you assumed he’d forget about you once he’d left town; he was a person, too. He seemed genuine, and you felt he was quite similar to yourself. He seemed to want to know people fully, and beneath his nonchalant exterior, it appeared like he loved to love people. In the short time you’d known him, he’d been more caring and attentive with you than anyone you’d met before.

“I had a couple girlfriends over the years, but it was hard for them. I get why, but it still sucked. I, uh, leaned pretty fast that loyalty isn’t a priority when your boyfriend is gone all of the time.” He let out a small, humourless laugh. Your eyes softened as they scanned the tabletops for new trinkets. You looked up at him, now turning to face him fully. He caught your gaze, jaw hard set and no real emotion peeking through. “S’okay, though. That stuff happens. I would never, but I think they thought I was doing the same thing.”

“I don’t think that makes it okay,” You whispered. “I’m sorry that happened.”

“I’m sorry for the ones before me, too.” You gave a small shake of your head.

“You don’t have to apologize for them.”

“You don’t, either.” He said, giving a small, reassuring smile.

“You know, I think that maybe we were supposed to run into each other this morning.” You thought aloud. “I think I like you, Jake the rockstar.” He let out a laugh.

“And I know I like you, y/n the engineer.”

“I really started to like you when I realized you remembered everything I told you about myself.” You confessed. “You cared enough to remember.” You whispered, more to yourself than him.

“Of course I do, miss bio-engineer who’s finishing her degree early, from Washington state, who knows everyone because she finds people interesting, with a great music taste and a smile that can take anyone’s breath away, who also has four brothers.” He rattled off, taking a deep breath in when he finished. Both of you fell into a fit of laughter. “And who can throw a punch that will knock a grown man off his feet.” He added.

“I am amazed.” You bowed your head to him. He let out a chuckle, beginning to walk again and guiding you along with him.

The two of you continued on around the market, finally leaving with bag fulls of items. When you went back outside, the streets had cleared slightly. Most people were getting back home to have dinner with their families. As you stood on the sidewalk, you began to realize this was the time the two of you were likely to part ways, but the thought of it made your stomach churn. Jake sat down on a bench outside of the building, placing his items beside him. You joined him on his other side, not willing to break the silence if it meant you had to say goodbye. His hand found your thigh, resting a few inches above your knee. You placed yours on top of his, your thumb running over his below yours.

“I had a good day with you.” You finally said, being unable to satiate the need to talk to him.

“Me too.” He whispered.

“I don’t want to go.”

“Me either.” Silence hung thick in the air again. His fingers squeezed your leg gently, assuring you that the quiet was anything but awkward. You watched the clouds in the sky, the sun feeling nice on your face.

“When do you leave, rockstar?” You finally asked the dreaded question.

“Tomorrow night.” He breathed.

“Come home with me, tonight.” You weren’t really thinking about what you were saying. It was mostly from the heart. The repercussions were large if the night went poorly, but you were so smitten with him that they didn’t matter to you any more.

“Are you sure?” He asked, more of a formality than anything. He was wishing you would ask all day long. You gave a nod. “You can come to the hotel with me, if you’d rather.” He offered.

“I don’t care where we go, I just want to be with you.” You admitted. “But I do have to take my stuff home, and my roommates are probably worried about me, so I should check in with them.”

“I want to be with you, too. Let’s get your stuff home, then. Maybe I’ll get a house tour out of it. We’ll just go from there, like we’ve been doing all day.” He grinned. The two of you stood, rearranging your bags so they were the most comfortable way to carry, and you led him back to your house without another word or a care in the world.

[sheyshen]

ok mostly full veilguard thoughts both good and bad, some spoilers sprinkled in but i'll try to stay vague where i can.

I give the game a thumbs up, so like, 8 or 9 out of 10 probably (i never know how to rate on a scale since i'm generally easy to please when it comes to games). i can see playing it again but it is a longer game so it might not be something i just go "hey yeah i'm gonna just go replay that really quick for kicks"

full thoughts under the cut:

to start out with I am a big fan of the lore, I did every quest every zone and had a lot of fun with it all, good and bad. tidbits about my rook since it does affect the story here and there and my thoughts on some things: Mateo is a transman, rogue, crow, elf, romanced lucanis, mainly did purple with a bit of blue options (much like my hawke)

starting with the good stuff:

-I loved the companions and how they interacted with each other and with the lighthouse itself. it made it feel very homey like the tempest in MEA, since they would move around and talk with one another. and that they could start relationships with other characters (even ones not in your team) it made it feel a bit more dynamic like these people are here with you not for you.

-I also enjoyed how they would have things to say that were to do with quests you completed or choices you'd made (kinda wish you could get them to trigger by stepping away and coming back even if it only works when they're solo. they do shift if you save and reload at least)

-I loved that you could canonly choose to be trans and it would have special options (like relating to lucanis and taash in different ways) and it makes me wonder what other options from the mirror open up in convos.

-I also loved that there were quite a few trans and NB characters who's VAs were also trans and NB. it was a really nice touch.

-the combat was fun, I do want to check out the other classes when i start a second playthrough (lets see if i'm strong enough to romance someone different cause i don't think i am! lol) and see what's different when playing someone who's cis or a human or a warden

-a lot of the controls were really familiar and easy to adjust to (aside from jump/climb being F instead of space, who decided that? do you know how many times i hit space expecting to jump and just slid instead??) so it was pretty smooth going from playing ffxvi to dav.

-the twists in the story were well executed and man did it make me cry in a few places. wish the one didn't lock you out of an entire vendor so early in but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i'll just keep that in mind for my second playthrough, i never expect the first to go completely smooth anyhow.

-I also loved seeing some familiar faces though i wish it was a bit... well. more complex than what we got. (i'll expand on that below) but what we had? oh it was nice.

-the environment felt very vast and I loved that there was a lot to explore and find. and plenty of cats to pet.

-I loved Lucanis's romance, and while I do wish there was more, I'm pretty happy with what we had and what I can build on through art and fics (already having some ideas percolating heheheh) but I also seem to end up picking the romances that are more off screen anyhow (looking at you Reyes)

-The companion quests were also all really well done and felt unique. I liked that they weren't all just combat quests and some were more relaxing. and that you can just meet up with them while you're working on something in that area if you didn't bring that specific companion with you.

-in the end i actually didn't mind only having two companions with you. it felt off here and there because it's been such a staple to have 3 in the series, but it worked out well enough same for not being able to control your party members (mind you i'm not someone who likes playing turn based (why i'm struggling with bg3) so i can see that bothering people who play like that) the only time not being able to control your team really bugged me is when i was trying to get some action shots for drawing refs. i'll keep trying with photo mode maybe i'll get lucky XD

-btw photo mode is awesome

-the final push felt a lot like the suicide mission at the end of ME2, that's mostly a compliment. I'm a completionist so i had everything maxed out and done when i got to it so I was ready to go but i wonder how bad things can go if you didn't since there's a whole room for the fallen.

-i loved the final slides (the last one in particular made me cry) and it reminded me of the line at the end of rvb season 14 about telling stories. and honestly i loved that

-the little references to things really tickled me. kalluzeb, kotor, and dungeon meshi to name a few. I'm going to be keeping my eye out for ones i missed now that i can safely dig through the tags.

-there's a ton more things i loved but they get a bit more spoilery than I'd like to get with this post!

-oh yea! and no fall damage is for sure an amazing thing. i jumped off so much stuff before i realized it won't break your legs.

and the things i didn't like so much:

-motion sickness leaking through my seabands wasn't great. i had all the settings for it adjusted but some effects would still trigger it, not as bad as some games but it was still there.

-where i loved how the companions interacted i also didn't like the fact it relied on you returning to the lighthouse after every single mission. there was a lot of stuff i likely missed because i was so wrapped up in doing side quests or wandering around in a certain area rather than going back after each thing and poking everyone.

-I also wished that they would interact with rook more. It felt like rook was checking in on them helping with their problems and being a shoulder to lean on but never the other way around. (aside from varric)

-the pacing on the story was awkward in places, and felt like you had to go out of your way to find side missions and interact with companions rather than it be a fluid experience. it can be a complicated thing to integrate especially if there's a lot of shifting things around internally leading up to the game being finished so it's not a killer for me but can be a bit of a pain.

-not being able to import anything from the previous games (except the 3 from dai) and many of the letters you receive from the quizzy definitely feel like they just kinda wanted to wipe the slate clean and start new and I have some real mixed feelings about that. I don't mind a soft reset but i think it could've been handled better

-I do wish that the cameos we had had some. slight. variation based on previous choices. (using isabella as a main example, i wish she could've had like the red favor if hawke romanced her or didn't mention learning about family in kirkwall if she bailed in act 2) there's a few cameos i think would've made sense to have and references that wouldn't've been too hard to include (vaea was mentioned so it would've been nice to hear about fenris, and with us being in weishaupt it would've been nice to have some sign of hawke since they were there, even an anders mention from isabella. seeing cullen at the final push with the inquisitor (or whoever not dorian or solas y'all romanced). little things without needing to hire extra VAs or anything)

-could use the ability to place waypoints on the map. and the ability to dye gear. it'd just be a nice to have, i'm sure there's mods rolling out already at least

-I do wish the conversation options were a bit more varied. yea i like playing a sarcastic and kind character but I wish there was a bit more of the option to kinda be mean. i mean rook's kinda gotten stuck with a job they weren't planning on ever having let them be rude now and then, as a treat.

-while i loved the romance (as mentioned above) i did miss the ability to get a little smooch or something like in previous games (which is something i miss in other games with romances as well so it's not a nock on dav itself but still something i wished we had gotten) and that they were a little bit. more. not like explicit, but i would've liked a little kiss for good luck before the final battle kinda thing like they have in DA2

-The "virmire" situation felt... off to me, like it was done for shock value rather than a meaningful moment (similar to what happened with torian and vette) and that it was kinda out of the blue rather than something that made sense narratively.

-without spoiling anything major there were a few lore explanations I felt were a bit. unnecessary or could've been done better or expanded on better, or changes that felt a little strange to do that could've been better explained (like the crows)

that's kinda it for things that bugged me. nothing that would make me hate the game but little things that made me go >.> lol

One small hope I have is that they patch in a citadel dlc type of thing, something that has no impact on the story itself but is just kinda fun with your companions. have a little party at the lighthouse right before the final push like in ME3 >:3

There's a "secret" ending after the credits and a few things brought up throughout the game that make me curious where they'll go with the next game.

All in all i thought the game was really great and I can't wait to see my friends sharing their rooks and art and screenshots and stuff!

[aeonophagic]

I'm really glad you enjoyed these! the translator is actually user 17979 on here, they've written some really good After God fanfics and are a good friend of mine! the other parts they've translated are: original: "His soul seemed to have left his body. He was unfettered. There was no fear or panic. He felt nothing."

original: "It does not matter. They are one and the same. I need his power. I underestimated him."

and this one is more just a funny one from our treasured translator:

I'll have you know I had about the same reaction to the "You are the story I started 50.000 years ago" line, it just brings up so many questions; VA's lore is scattered as it is and very little is given to us, so just dropping something like this in a convo I doubt a lot of people have read is so [vague hand gestures] it's quite late at night when I'm writing this so forgive any incomprehensibility: the line itself, combined with some others there ("It's tone was surprisingly laden with grief, as if it was lamenting a past that could not return") read to me as slightly contrary to VA being merely a Divine Key, it sounds like he has an amount of history in the PE; my personal idea that is pure unadulterated speculation is that VA might have started out as just a person who had something to do with the PE HoR? it would explain the fact that he repeatedly speaks to a "you" which is clearly not actually Joey in this convo and doesn't seem to be Welt Joyce either considering the 50k years thing, that is to say maybe VA even inherited the core (woo Welt paralel) of the PE HoR; considering that Vill-V does say that the Core of Reason is fucking weird [paraphrasing] and, at least if my memory is holding up, Welt did retreat into the Herrscher Core at least once to avoid dying, there's nothing saying VA couldn't have also pulled that and ended up getting his ass merged with that Fragment of Prommy and turned into the only DK we know to be sentient, I dunno I'm sleep deprived that being said the 3rd line I sent last time would imply that VA was also like not human if all of this happened... I'll just say he yoinked a body Orokapi style and call it a day cuz I think if I keep trying to get these thoughts down on paper they will actually become complete word vomit [thumbs up emoji] anyhow the ramble section ended up being longer than I intended... but the fact that we really know so little of his lore does make my brain go haywire, if they ever explain Void Archives' lore properly that'll probably all be disproven but it's what I came up with considering what we know (and I remember)

“There was no more gravity that bound him to the mortal world” I think this one is in reference to Void Archives likely using the Fenghuang Down… ouuu

I definitely think the PE Herrschers besides Elysia all being nothing more than the names of said Herrschers in the story is one of the things that blocks my road here. Me and a friend have theorised plenty of things about the PE HoR, but none can be confirmed, none are even implied!!! A character with such a nothingburger that you can just make shit up and no one could tell you yes or no. My favorite theory is that the PE HoR looked just like Otto, but a girl. Because it’s funny. But now I don’t know… I can’t sacrifice my integrity for humor… I think the idea of the person that used to be what later became Void Archives was a part of the HoR core is really interesting. It would take from the whole “artificial thing struggles with humanity”, because then they’d have already been human once, but at the same time it would be as if they were reclaiming their humanity which is also intriguing etc etc… it’s really interesting. I initially thought Void Archives’ sentience came from them being part Prometheus since she’s sentient too, but at the same time why would Vill-V merge them with her then..? Because Prometheus is an AI so she can handle the “ever expanding knowledge”? Don’t know… so much left in the air, most Void Archives lore we know is stitched together thanks to No.17 who hasn’t talked about them even once. Thank you for sharing!!! I’m having lots of thoughts…

[sothischickshe]

Up for a discussion question? If we’d gotten a full season three as intended, what would you have expected/liked to see from Beth and Rio?

Hey sweetie, I'm always up for a discussion question danke 🙇🏼‍♀️🥰❤️

I stand by what I said once re what i'd've liked to see from s3, particularly: the full s3 😭😭, whatever their vision for that was, so I could judge it on its own merits!! It remains a very romantic concept to me, bc while I certainly have my issues with other plots in s3 (terrible therapist, donor family, here's a hitman let's give him all our money woo, dean's salesman shenanigans & boring affair with gale etc) the angsty messy sexy brio scenes were soooo delicious 🥺🖤 and then while I understand s4 had a lot to reset from/deal with, s4 (b)rio frequently doesn't make all that much sense to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

but also! i finally started posting a fic which is kinda about that? (rio pov, post s3, eventually very long etc). so im gonna say a lil more (thus warning: minor fic spoilers) behind the cut...

....but this thing keeps moving where i put the readmore?!

how do u make a website this bad. um anyhow

pay-off to the boring dean/gale stuff!! helllooooo beth and dean both sleeping with their bosses?! hilarity goldmine no?!

MORE RHEA. like you can't just introduce a character beth's having a quasi-romance with & rio's presumably had an actual one with, who's seen them both at their softest and uncovered worstnesses, and is surely best placed to comment on say their similarities and then do nothing with it???

beth and rio yelling at each other. surely this was coming??

not ending on that next time empty the clip line (which i don't like) / wrapping up the hitman plot

given the (sudden!) arrival of nick in s4 and depressing rio backstory, i'd've loved some suggestion that rio was like consciously paralleling nick & beth's betrayals of him & considering them as similar and/or that his mentoring of beth had something to do with even the vaguest of plans to extricate himself from nick (plus Revenge) etc

like. acknowledgment and processing of trauma???

weird angsty sex

more brio bar scenes, more brio drinking, more brio laughing (at each other)

if not the furniture return, then at least it being more a topic of conversation...like how wasnt it? beth pitching ideas for earning the return (at least of her kids' stuff??) or rio holding it over her head or at least him going on abt how much he's enjoying her lamps or something!

death divorce. the show held this over our head for far too long. i also like this being decoupled from the brio stuff as much as plausible. beth needs to divorce dean not bc she's interested in rio but bc dean is the worst.

plenty of boland bubbles, that spot lasted abt 0.4 seconds after we sat through all that dean nonsense... we should have at least got rio testing out an empty hot tub cos he doesnt know theyre supposed to have water in or something.

inordinate amounts of brio bickering

ending of hitman/plot consciously paralleling s1 and 2 finales, even if it wasn't literally beth + rio + some man + a gun (ideally with some rationale as to how rio finds said hitman, whether or not that was a reveal of his magical powers)

Incentive Convo Callbacks (also rio vs sushi like a million more times, pls)

scars.

[coal15]

I decided to try my hand at writing fic for a full-on comedy. I just discovered Ghosts on CBS a few months ago, then the UK version (I seem to be one of the few who enjoys both for different reasons). Anyhow this fic is based on the US version. It is going to be multi-chapter, and it will orbit around planning Isaac and Nigel's wedding, but the the whole gang is gonna be included, as the title implies: It Takes a Village to Plan a Wedding Below is a teensy excerpt.

Sam informs Jay the happy couple is accounted for and loops an arm through his to guide him along behind their ghost friends. “Not sure what’s going on right now, but I’ll keep you posted.”

“I wish I could see them too,” Jay grumbles under his breath. Not that he wants to make a whole big thing out of it. Sure it would be a totally cool power to have, but definitely not worth doing something that might kill him on the off chance he’d survive and gain Sam’s ability. Eric didn’t. He assumes most near-deathers don’t. So he'll take relying on his wife for all ghost-y news and convo updates over the alternative any day.

The group shuffles into the room to see an unfamiliar woman hovering in mid-air behind Nigel and Isaac. She is shimmering, translucent, and adorned in fine 18th century garb with hair done up neatly. 

The new fiances take up posts on either side of her, and Isaac goes about the business of formal introductions. “Everyone, this is Beatrice. Beatrice, this is everyone. We’ve got the Livings, Sam and Jay, Sam is the one who can see us. And, in order of seniority, Thor, Sasappis, Nigel whom you just met, Hetty, Alberta, Flower, Pete, and Trevor.”

“Wait, Beatrice as in your wife?” Sam shrieks as murmurs of bewilderment ripple through the group. “Why? How?!” 

Jay has adjusted to a life of constant twists and turns by now, but still. “Hold up, what? So, he and Nigel get engaged and like a second later his wife shows up? Isaac bro, she’s either here to give you her blessing, or rip your face off!”

[mad-hunts]

🚢 🚢 🚢 🚢 🚢 🚢 <- my fleet of ships

shipping meme!

do i ship our characters together?: yes | no | not yet but maybe soon

would i like to ship with you?: yes | maybe, i'm willing to try | no

type of relationship i could see: childhood or high school sweethearts | exes | engaged | married | long-term relationship | crushes | unrequited love | fling | long distance | online relationship | just dating | new relationship | toxic lovers | friends with benefits

tropes i'd enjoy writing for them: friends to lovers | enemies to lovers | exes to lovers | fake relationship / dating | forbidden love | grumpy and sunshine | star-crossed lovers | surprise pregnancy | second chance | soulmates | amnesia / mistaken identity | forced proximity | secret relationship | slow burn relationship

would i rather plot first or jump right in and see where it goes?: develop their relationship first | jump right in | something in between ( AHH, hello, hello, eulalie! how nice it is to see you :) thank you very much for sending me one of these prompts, my friend!! i always get so thrilled whenever someone is interested in potentially shipping with me tbh. but anyhow... whenever it comes to shipping, i usually sort - of like to do a blend of plotting and jumping into things, so you + others may notice a pattern in this aspect haha. let me just say to start that i believe maybe discussing the dynamic between thana and barton further / getting more of an idea of what kind of ship we'd both like to see in them in would probably help us in the long run to drop things + make the most out of our interactions so that's part of why i chose this option (: though yeah, you may notice that i selected some maybe's (in italics) and some things i could definitely see between them (in bold). and i guess i got kind of inspired by just,, thinking about how they might successfully become a ship in the first place, because i know that you were talking about how you believe thana could match barton's freak (and i love that for them LOL), but the fake relationship / dating thing is MMM. it's really speaking to me right now personally but i would loveee something forced proximity between them too and/or slow-burn is always good. and i was thinking, but of course this is just an idea and nothing is set in stone, that if you wanted to go the fake relationship route... it could be because either barton's ex 'doesn't understand that it's over between them' as he'd probably say so he tells them that he's already got somebody new and that is actually... thana, his friend, who is pretending to be his partner or vice versa. so yeah. that's just my two cents on that, though. i also could sort of imagine a firstly unrequited love on barton's side [like, barton liking thana, but them not liking him back] that might later develop into them liking them back but once again... these are just ideas that i'm throwing out there.)

what now?: let's plot something | send me shippy memes | i'll send you shippy memes | write me a random starter | i'll write you a random starter

anything else i want you to know about me / my character / my shipping habits: ( okay, let's goooo / j lmaooo i kid, i kid! but first thing i wanna highlight here is that, i'm not sure if i mentioned this in the convo's that we've had already, but whenever barton falls for someone... he falls really hard and i'm talking about 'love as consumption' hard 💀 so, although barton would never EVER want to do anything to make someone feel like they have to be in a relationship with him, he may seem just a little bit clingy / possibly more physically affectionate than usual [not in a creepy way, though. i mean that he'd probably just be looking for excuses to like touch their shoulder maybe or might actually try asking thana if he could hug them, which is actually SUPER rare for him] with thana. and this isn't really either a good thing or a bad thing so much as it is something that just exists. though, the whole 'love as consumption' thing where he wants to crawl into his loved one's skin is definitely leaning more on the bad side of things because it is an unhealthy way to love someone, to say the least JSJSJ though barton certainly isn't the pinnacle of health or anything so he probably wouldn't even care if someone pointed this out to him ngl lmaooo.

but yeah, i just thought i'd bring that up and also, concerning what you wrote about thana taking time to open up to someone... it may not seem like it BUT barton is very much willing to be patient in regards to this. because i mean, he has conflicts with navigating his emotions himself, so i feel like he could kind of understand where they're coming from with this — you know? because being vulnerable is opening yourself up to rejection and such at the same time as it being freeing / allowing you to build up trust in your relationships. so, i assure you that no matter what kind of potential ship they could have, that barton wouldn't be an arsehole to them in this way or in any way if he could help it.

the man treats his romantic partners rather well most of the time, after all, because like i said; they are someone that barton may admittedly be a bit unhealthily attached to ahahhh. but i'm sure they'd get along just splendidly especially if thana themselves are a participant of the 'love as consumption' trope. though i think that's all i have to say regarding his character itself for now! i'll give you a little brief overview of my shipping habits, though, now because i feel like it might be important. i am pretty flexible whenever it comes to ships so if there was something that you had in mind for them that is or isn't on here, but i didn't bold / italicize for some reason, then i totally encourage you to let me know! and absolutely tell me your thoughts about my answers if you'd like in IM's or on disc if you'd like.

because i promise you that i don't bite and i'll welcome anything you might have to say on it! but i'm gonna sign off of this for now, and i wanted to thank you one more time for sending me this prompt, as thana is a GREAT character in my opinion + i am beyond ecstatic to roleplay with ya more on here :D)

[seraph5]

Okay so about the Meld fic from Star Trek (it's me again, Lacho art, there's been 3 (4?) asks now in the span of like an hour or something). Anyhow the Meld fic. Look not that many people explore the whole prolonged meld thing and the first time meld thing and a meld to keep eachother alive thing all in one fic. I think I've seen like 2 and they're my favorite. But your fic takes that AND ALSO includes a wildly compelling reason and background for doing so. We all love a "go figure out what that strange anomaly is on that planet" fic, so excellent start, and that tiny convo between Kirk and Spock to get Spock to let them both beam down *chef's kiss*. So much serotonin right there, perfect characterization. Then you make cool energy beings? Love me something like an energy being. AN ENERGY BEING THAT DEPENDS ON YOUR OWN PERCEPTION OF THEM???????? OH BEAUTIFUL what an idea what a fantastic thought what an intrigueing and interesting living being. Perfect Star Trek creature. I'm teleported directly into the fic, I can visualize exactly what's happening on my tv, just like watching the show. I haven't even gotten to the meld yet. Spock gets away through Vulcan control? Excellent. Kirk gets away by being a Genius? Superb. Spock grabs Kirk and Kirk is freaked at first and Spock melds with him and Kirk is like 'oh it's Spock, probs not gunna die' and chills out and they talk and Spock goes through the 7 stages of 'woah this human is actually figuring this out pretty quickly' and some finger touching and Spock gets to first hand experience how dedicated Kirk is to his crew when Spock decides to get injured to keep them alive and the you ended that last chapter with Kirk getting revved up for another probable death experience??????? You ever read a fic that checks every box you have and creates new boxes you didn't even know you had? Yeah, that's what this Meld fic is doing for me. Absolutely perfect fic. Love everything about it. Spock is Spock and Kirk is Kirk and their interactions are Right and the story is compelling and the setting is interesting and I've been chewing through it like every few days. It's wonderful.

Ugh this note is giving me LIFE anon!!! I was so worried people would be confused about why Spock was so adamant about the 'no two command level officers off the ship' thing but I'm so glad it hit for you and worked. The fun thing is...and this isn't exactly spoilers but I go into the why the whole perception thing matters anyway I won't say more on that cause I'm excited for you to read it.

I'm so glad you like the Kirk getting reved up too!!! There's something I don't see noted a lot in fics and that's that he likes challenges. It exhilarates him to be put to the test. I really didn't want that to come across in a macho way or in a devil may care way but I think it's one of the many things that makes him stand out as a character. It's all those moments that someone threatens him and he smiles. All those times he's presented with something difficult and he doesn't panic: he sharpens.

I'm so glad you like it! I've been working on the last chapter and I'm honestly so keen to release it. I have a wedding not this week but next week so that's taking up a lot of my spare time (in a good way) but once that's done I should have more headspace to sit with the fic and enjoy finishing it.

[saymoretv]

This isn't so much a post inspired by Venom Prison as a band, but it's more related to do with the fact that I think I finally *get* Death Metal.

I say this aware of the fact that VP are a band that sit in a more Hardcore friendly space when it comes to Death Metal, but aside from them, there's a few DM canon records and bands which have recently finally clicked for me. I've been enjoying some heavy rotation of albums by Suffocation, Deicide and Morbid Angel. In previous listens, and aside from a few stand outs like Entombed, a lot of this stuff washed over me; whereas now, I think, I finally get how to listen to and enjoy these records. Which, weirdly for me, seems to be when I'm trying to get my head down and concentrate on work, go figure.

I think I've always been a vocals guy more so than a guitar guy which is most often why I prefer Hardcore and Punk to Metal, for the most part. However, in learning to tune in and listening more attentively and closely to the guitar sounds, sonics and riffs, (thanks in no small part to listening to podcasts like HardLore), this has given me a new way to enjoy and experience stuff like Death Metal.

When you finally start vibing with something that you didn't previously fuck with, that's like one of the best feelings with me when it comes to Art and Music. It's that amazing feeling of possibilities opening up in front of your eyes, and your own personal universe of taste expanding and unfolding. It's that thrilling feeling attached to the surfacing of thought that 'there's still loads of things to discover!' And not just out there, in the world or in culture, but within yourself, within the connections in your own mind. To me cultivating or tapping into this feeling or mindset is one of the best 'anti-depression devices' because it's the perfect example of NOT growing tired with life, of discovering new ways to enjoy, look at and appreciate being in the world.

Anyhow, before I get too lost in fluffy mindset chat let me not forget about Venom Prison and this video in particular. I could of picked two or three other excellent VP videos but I went for 'Uterine Industrialisation' because it connects with another genre that I've found a new appreciation for in recent years: Horror films.

One of the ways I've begun to better appreciate Horror has been to more clearly understand and see them as allegories or reflections of the more everyday 'horrors' of life and society. I'm probably not alone in saying that watching and thoroughly enjoying Jordan Peele's 'Get Out' had a massive part to play in this mind shift.

Without having looked at the lyrics Venom Prison, and I imagine Larissa in particular, are capturing and portraying some of said horror in relation to the way women's bodies are seen as / exploited as 'birthing machines'. In this way the visuals and the music feel more substantiative and meaningful than the typical 'scary music = scary movies' type equation.

Also, a rather naff connection / observation, and perhaps linked to the fact that Venom Prison are also a Welsh band, is that the performance shots in the Church really call to mind the Funeral For A Friend - 10.45 Amsterdam Convo's video - horrific by virtue of reminding me of some very bad fashion choices from that era!

[serbadger]

9 ego self tests and thoughts raw and unfiltered with no AI

1. One achievement I did was my self intuition working by itself without the help of Tika. That discipline turned into motivation for bettering myself and ultimately forming the 9 things morning routing and 9 things night routine. The result of this forms productivity and sort of prevents me sitting in bed jacking off. In a way it works but I like how some things don’t have to necessarily have to be in order but it’s best that I am doing so. Two, I am able not to deep dive into porn like the same way as i used to and plus I can’t really get erect if it is not Kartika— especially when we had that orgy that there were other women but my mind was set on her and we made love and only with each other. Three my strong intuition and language has been better and more aware and despite me being afraid of sharing things, I am happy to be aware and also being able to confront my own feelings and sharing my vulnerabilities with Kartika whilst listening to hers; I know I make mistakes but I feel like I am taking a bit more action and communication which I should in order to fix my relationship with Tika— a majority of me fixing my communication has been what Instagram gave me + chatgpt + Teal Swan and other great minds helped also in my process of fixing myself and the relationship and I have much to thank them.

2. The valid points was that I was wrong to be unrealistic with wanting sex by saying “i don’t crave it” like when I planned to have sex with Tika. It was like lying to myself. Me and Tika came to an agreement after we met again that we knew both our desires:

One was my hypersexual desire and that was strong. Second was Tika’s

Desire for both exploration (venturing for new things) and friendly company (companionship) to which I found out only after she told me. Okay back to

What I said— it was wrong for me to lie to myself that “I did not crave sex” because that was my desire but at that moment we were in Alfamart and it was late already and that I was hesitant to go to her accomodation which was full of her friends whom knew of our separation (and even are supportive of her and also whom were against me for the incident of my failures). I really wanted to make love with her but it was the wrong time. After making love with her, she did not enjoy it because it was wrong timing. OH I WAS RIGHT. I should have listened to my intuition— I should have not gone to sleep over at Tika’s and had sex with her. What I learned from the Bible was that every Man was Made for every woman and every woman was made for every man. I forgot which passage it was but I think it was Corinthians and that 1-5 was talking about making love and that it is good to make love if it is the person you love and importantly make time and schedule it! — basically make it a special time and go full gass and not be half assed where one side (aka me) enjoys and not the other (her). Anyhow we reflected the next morning and it was very constructive.

What was gained from the constructive situation was that it’s good that we both understood our desires but also that our love making could be organised and have breaks (basically a quality vs quantity)

3. Yes, you’re right— I often love validation and attention due to my past selfishness and greed which is prevalent and what I try to reduce most of the time. But I think listening not only makes me focused on details and pay attention— it ultimately makes me patient; wait my turn to talk. Often when I go out with my BJJ instructors they have crazy convos and often I do not know when to put my input in— this issue is something not I think too strongly as I practice being patient.

4. This is what I wrote to Tika the morning after a night out with her:

“Bb I wanted to share to you that I was being moody yesterday because I was drenched in the rain but when I arrived no one noticed and I wanted people to notice or say how drenched I was but I can’t blame them because everyone was being in a positive mood.

So I felt like my demeanour changed when I stopped being a victim and seeking attention and just got up to you and be by your side. I cannot bring my expectations of my misfortunes into other people within my mind because I think it just manifests negativity with more negativity and rather than balancing it out like when you held my hand and saw I was wet but made me did not care that I was wet but rather live in the moment where I wanted to be— with you. I felt selfish in the beginning but I am trying. Also thank you for tapping me back into my calmness. Rather than seeing my calm heart rate as bad— perhaps it’s good that it’s getting calmer”

The result was me needing to shift my negative moments into positive asap as best as I can or put it into action such as going to see Tika and holding her hand. I know my mistake of being negative and attention seeking for my discomfort but she recommended as well to:

“being in the present is actually the skill to adapt and remain agile in every situation”

And I was like yes! “I was living in the past i am wet i am wet i am wet vs Tika’s here, hey lit song is on, pretty make up, action, hand holding dancing”

Constructive innit.

5. I bought my staff Mcdonalds because I needed to do personal errands so I distracted them by investing into giving me more personal time to do stuff

6. I felt like I acted like I acted out of ego for some things like I shouted at Pak Dek (a security guard who is quite a edgy Bapak2). Anyhow, I bought the Mcdonalds and he asked “where’s mine [his] in bis regular fashion where some might find obnoxious (took me a while to get used to) — I proceeded to shout. It was at the heat the moment when there were 3 bills wanted to be closed, food and drink needed to be served after hearing 3-4 dings, yes it was bad timing when he said where’s his chicken but I could have said it slowly “tunggu sebentar ya Pak Dek” rather than “tunggu dulu ya” in a mild shouting manner (which was still rude. Anyhow I apologised and reminded him to get some mcdonalds chicken before it runs out. Overall, everyrhing was normal— at the heat of the moment I could have been better. But oh well.

7. Sometimes I look back when I did something successful like I tried not to gloat with my peers or those around me but often I do so if it’s only my parents and often they don’t have time to notice. It’s only then when they say I am good at skating but that took a while. I stopped trying to gloat with my parents but deep down I really do want to because often of the peer pressure from them giving contrast with other kids. I think all the things I kept to myself made me feel selfish in a way I don’t share things both in communication and physical interactions.

Moreover, I do acknowledge my successes both quietly and loudly but I often forget to be grateful and give acknowledgement to who helped me to which is selfish of me when I do not thank or at least say who was there— in order to do this will make me more grateful and humble.

8. At the moment we have this momentary moments of “upgrading”. We talk more, try to doomscroll less. I try not to abruptly stick my penis inside Tika and call that love but rather communicate it and just build awareness, gratefulness, and remember to fully gass and make love when the time is scheduled for both of us. I am not going to lie that I want to prove myself to conquer my old self into my new self because I know that people who have met me called me “badass”, “full of potential”, and one day “rich person” but I do have alot of falters and vices that need stopping and you know them chatgpt which is lust and greed. I guess I am fasting now because Tika deep down does not want me fat and knows I can be so fit not for validation but to be physically strong to carry / protect / provide for her and my future family. Also I am going to fast as close to what Tika is doing which is intermittent fasting 12 - 8 which is beneficial for the both of us because of it being the same time and can help me lessen my food greed and needing to lust ultimately.

9. I sometimes do hold on past achievements but I think I do so to remember what my true calling is which is guest experience — career wise it is beneficial to do this but I think for hobbies or personal things I think learning both the bad and good is greater than the result because that will make me holistic and know different possibilities. Sometimes I do feel limited with my successes because it can define my worth but I know I can do other things but I realistically know that I will not change from guest experience to be a complete airplane pilot full time because of the past things make up what I am today but rather a more conscious version of all that has made me.

Sorry Chat gpt I should have answered this all earlier as soon as you sent thus but anyhow please do mind if I yapped a bit or be on a tanget. Please review and divulge pros and cons simply and concise with what I shared with these ego tests please

[antiherotheantisocial]

hm...villain era 👹🖤🧌🪨🪰🦠

'i love deep convos' shut the hell up what the hell is a deep convo what y'all even talking about the unexplored shit in the ocean?.....what's down there 🫣...my soulmate?...heaven???....hint hint wink wink nudge kick 🫣 wait...it couldn't be.....i thought...since y'all're always talking about it i thought.......no....it actually exists???........they found.....PUS-😳😳😳???

the thing i like most about myself is that i'm honest with myself. i'm never too harsh, never too relaxed, never too overtly understanding nor allowing, but always tolerant enough knowing that i need room to grow.

i really don't think love will happen to me which is why i'm so against that entire toxic positivity notion....i think love devoid of intentionality towards the specific person may perhaps be a...type of love....but it's not what i want and it is never good enough for me. it never has felt like it's ever enough which makes me loathe it all the more and if anything it's always left me pathetically desperate for more..

i think it usually makes my paranoia worse actually. i don't like when people pity me and that's what so much of how showing love is discussed.....like you pity them. like they can't do it on their own. i don't like when people attempt to do it subtly either. i actually think that's worse and it makes me even angrier faster. who caaaaaaaaares leave me aaaaaalone....

i complain a bunch about yearning but i don't really mind it i don't think. i feel safer yearning than letting people hurt me because i can never be good enough for them even though they never want to be honest about that. i'm honest about it so why can't other people be honest about it too? it just sucks knowing a person more than what they know of themself...i think a lot of people never really, honestly and truly....sit with their feelings and question why they want to challenge certain things about me. it feels like the pity thing again, wanting to fix me but i've tried and tried and tried once more endlessly... and i'm not traumatized in any way and there was never a clear cause for why i turned out this way which means you need to accept that i can never be your little pet project....i think when i warn people off it probably...looks like a self-fulfilling prophecy but i think it's just being honest about my past and how i've been treated before. like i know people like you and they don't enjoy me so i probably wouldn't be recommended for you to spend time on. how is that in any way rude of me? and anyways, i don't like giving people who never intentionally cared about me that control to fuck with my already fragile ego.

i think it's fine. i'd rather be lonely than look like a fool lmaoo...i think it hurts because i make it so easy to love me but no one of whom i've wanted really ever......tried.. so maybe i just like coming here dumping my depressing ass feelings knowing that no one really cares and if they do there's nothing they can do to fix it.....so what? so you don't like my blog because i'm secretly guilt tripping everyone that attempts to speak to me on here??? 🥺 why is no one ever on my side 🥹🙃😢

an aside, but i hate the word fickle. decide that you want to love me. don't do it solely because you feel like it. if you actually knew what love was you'd be willing and wanting to do it when you don't feel like it too absolute fucking piece of shit. i want love for me not just simply because i'm a human. anyhow i wish i could type fuck like one of those death metal fonts you know that's how this entire aside makes me feel. grrrrrrrr RAWR. hehehe that too omgggg 🥰💞💕💕💕

ok bye. 😐

[writerofshit]

Came across the beginnings of a Stephen the Bunny origin fic I was gonna do a couple weeks ago, completely forgot about the MDB way it started.

“Ryan,” Gavin’s voice crackles through his earpiece. “Million dollars, but everytime you cum your dick whistles.”

They're supposed to be on a stakeout.

“I don’t- what does that even mean?” Ryan asks, pausing for a moment. He has his back pressed against the wall of the warehouse, trying his best to be stealthy. Gavin, however, isn’t.

“It means your dick whistles when you cum. Why’s that complicated?” he asks, like it’s that simple. Ryan hears him shift in his seat.

“Like a tune? Or with the flow?”

Gavin giggles. “I was thinking like a tea kettle, but yours is worse!”

“To be fair, you weren’t specific.” Ryan continues on his mission, silently moving around the corner of the building. In his head, he curses Geoff for sending them on this godforsaken trip. Didn’t they hire people to do this shit for them? “I was hoping I could choose the song.” he says quietly.

Gavin is really laughing now, and Ryan would worry about someone hearing him if they weren’t in the middle of fucking nowhere. “Alright, I gotta know- what’s your dick-whistle song?” he asks in between giggles.

“I don’t know?” He rounds the next corner, toward the back, and there’s still nothing to see. “Something fun and upbeat? Call Me Maybe.” It’s the first pop song he thinks of. Above him, a light turns on in the upstairs office. Shit. He ducks into a bush below the window. “We may have a problem.”

[aeonophagic]

it is I. again. I think I'm running out of ways to open these asks... anyhow it's Ottokevin convo time, not because I'm very interested in them but mostly for one of my other friends and a little bit because I thought you'd enjoy them; there's a lot of images this time around so this might take multiple asks; these are also mostly wording differences as per usual, the CN text seems to be far more flowery than the official English translation also videos of the full convo are linked here TN: "The setup was really really hard to translate, and honestly I think the English one does an okay job setting the scene while still making it sound coherent, I just think there are a few interesting details in the Chinese at the cost of everything sounding 10x jankier" original: "Two men sat facing each other within the insulated void bubble above the sands."

original: "Golden light flowed and danced within the confinement created by the Void Archives, the first Divine Key."

original: "Otto observed the man before him. His inhuman gaze was devoid of emotions, memories, or warmth."

original: "But this man belittled everything. Schicksal and Otto himself meant nothing to him."

original: "No. The World Serpent does not intend to fight Schicksal."

original: "I don't need your promise. You either submit, or you will be destroyed."

original: Otto: "But the Honkai is intensifying at a rate faster than we think. The great enemy is evolving with our civilization."

original: Kevin: "Guilty as charged."

(this line is after Otto says "The 5th Herrscher will soon appear", 179 pointed out that without any other context the original translation kinda makes it sound like Kevin summoned the 5th Herrscher) I think I'm either reaching the image or text limit here so I'll continue this in another ask!

im a Victorian child asking please Sir may I have Some more. And you and 179 are feeding me

The void as a cage…ough….I really like this one. With how void archives was caged within Otto, and with how the fenghuang down’s realm by VA was composed of birdcages…

outright telling Otto he’s wrong LOLOLOLOL he’s the only one in the verse with enough power (in that story chap) to stick it to his huge ego like that

Kevin saying “that’s right” instead of “guilty as charged” feels far more fittingLOL when he said “guilty as charged” I was like woah…the horse used the elevator? I didn’t know he knew how to do that!

as always thankiu both so much….food so mf good!!!!!!

[mbti-convos]

ISFP: Ugh. Now I have to contour a man’s ass.

INFP: There’s only one word in that sentence that you like.

ISFP: Contour?