#i may have a concussion rn so we’re making a few of these.

[mbti-convos]

ISFP: Ugh. Now I have to contour a man’s ass.

INFP: There’s only one word in that sentence that you like.

ISFP: Contour?

[ushittyoldman]

sweetheart like you

request.  hiii welcome! my brain is empty rn but some spike fics would be so amazing! i’ll probably be back when i have an idea but for now maybe just some first kiss with Spike and up until then they had just been flirting:)

pairing. spike x fem!reader

warning. language, mentions of s ex, & just a whole bunch of fluff

a/n. my first spike request eeeeee here u go anon! i hope u like it, it’s still taking me a while 2 pin down his characterization so i kinda just went w how i thought he’d b in a situation like this. nevertheless, i hope u like it thank u 4 this cute asf request (fun fact! spike always reminded me of bob dylan bc of his hair so this title came from a bob dylan song) 

"Found him,” you mumbled discreetly into your ear piece, your sunglasses sliding slightly down your nose.

“Attagirl,” you heard Spike’s smooth drawl through the ear piece, and you attempted to conceal the slight smile that had made its way to your face.

“Careful, Spike, looks like I’m doing your job for you,” you teased, still keeping a watchful eye on the slimy suspect who happened to hold a handsome bounty on his head.

“Can’t really complain when you look so much better doing it.”

“Just fuck already so I don’t have to hear this everyday!” Faye snapped, and this time you couldn’t help the soft blush that colored your cheeks. You tightened your jacket around yourself, attempting to alleviate some of the embarrassment you felt.

“It’s not like that—”

“You know you’re always welcome to join us, Faye,” Spike retaliated, and this time you couldn’t hold back your giggle. Had you turned around, you wouldn’t have missed Spike’s smile widening upon hearing the musical sound.

“I’d rather die.” Faye deadpanned, and you had to remind yourself that you couldn’t laugh too loudly due to the delicate position you were currently in.

“One day... just one day of peace and quiet. You think that’s a lot to ask for, Ein?” 

Silence followed Jet’s tired question, and you realized you’d have to once again step up and apologize on behalf of you three. You softly mumbled into the earpiece, “Sorry, Jet, remind me to buy you a new bonsai tree to make it up to you!”

You could hear the smile in his voice as he enthusiastically said your name. “Anyone ever tell you you’re an absolute sweetheart?”

“Once or twice.”

Before anyone could respond, movement from the corner of your eye caught your attention. The man you had been tailing had stood up from his seat on the couch, paying the stripper who had clung to him for the majority of the hour. You began to subtly gather your things and pay for your drink at the bar, preparing to follow him out of the club.

“He’s on the move,” you angled your head to your left, eyes searching for familiar brown eyes, “I’m gonna follow him.”

Once your eyes met Spike’s, an understanding passed between you two. He had been sitting on one of the couches towards the back of the dimly-lit room. His long legs were spread as his arm was casually draped over the top of the couch, and a cigarette loosely hung from his lips. His long hair was pulled back slightly, since it was styled to mimic the type of men who frequented the club, and you smiled at the memory of you and Faye attempting to tame his hair in the bathroom right before you three departed on the mission. Though he was attempting to pass off as a regular civilian enjoying the strip show, there was something about Spike that made him stand out from the rest of the crowd. Realizing you had probably spent an abnormal amount of time admiring him, you met his eyes again and decided to ignore the look of blatant amusement that so clearly danced within them.

You simply nodded once and you silently applauded yourself on being able to catch the subtle nod he gave you in response in the dimly-lit room. His lips quirked up slightly, and you somehow felt more reassured in your ability to pursue the criminal.

Gulping down the last of your drink just for that liquid confidence, you delicately placed the payment on the table, and adjusted your top as you followed the man out the door. As you left the strip club, you noticed the shadow of the man’s trench coat as he leisurely walked towards the darker side of the already extremely shady town. You inhaled sharply before wrapping your own coat around yourself tighter. Suddenly, the man took a sharp left turn into a narrow dark alleyway between two buildings with impossibly bright neon signs.

“He went down an alley— that’s gotta be a dead-end. It’s almost too easy!”

Spike quickly yelled out your name, an odd edge to his words. “No! We’re sticking to the plan.”

“But I can—”

“Spike’s right, it’s too risky,” Faye interrupted evenly, though her tone showcased her own concern at your irrational thinking.

Deciding to prove them wrong, you furrowed your eyebrows and tightened your grip on the concealed gun. You let out a soft exhale, your breath visible in the frosty night. You immediately turned the corner, prepared to take the man by surprise, yet you stilled in shock when you were suddenly slammed against the brick wall. You could faintly hear your sunglasses clatter on the ground. You saw stars the moment your head hit the wall, and you were almost positive you were dealing with a concussion. You internally grimaced at the earful you’d undoubtedly be receiving from Spike, Jet, and Faye.

“What do you think you’re doing, you sneaky little bitc— ooh,” he mockingly cooed, “You’re pretty.”

“Oh, for the love of—” you heard Spike groan in your earpiece, most likely realizing you deliberately disobeyed the plan.

The man’s rough hands began playing with your hair, and you tried your best not to cringe at the feeling. Briefly, you conceded that Faye and Jet may have been right when they voiced their concerns over you working alongside the bounty hunters on this mission. You were the Bebop’s resident medic, and you had an alarming lack of experience with guns and self-defense in general. The two facts paired with your intense hatred of harming people, and you were most definitely the least qualified person to be on this mission.

Momentarily, you wondered why you even pushed so hard to join your friends and leave the safety of the Bebop. You suddenly thought of Spike. Spike with his lazy smile, as he encouraged you to join them. Spike and his untamable hair as he taught you how to use a gun. Spike and his warm hands as he softly caressed your cheek the first and only time you had managed to take him down in your self-defense classes.

You groaned internally as the realization hit you harder than the concussion.

Stupid Spike.

Deciding not to succumb to death just as yet, you abruptly realized there was a technique that Spike had taught you for this very occasion. You groggily tried to remember the technique, and you urged yourself to remember quicker when the man began to trail his hands down your body. Belatedly, you realized your coat was now on the ground, drenched in the wet snow, and the unforgiving cold air was nipping at your exposed arms and legs.

“Gonna take you on a ride, girly,” he wickedly mumbled in your ear, and you tried your best not to flinch.

Through the cloudy haze of your brain, you managed to mimic Spike’s exact movements as you replayed the memory of his lean body demonstrating what to do. Lifting your knee to kick the suspect in his groin, you cringed as he let out a yell of pain. He bent over, and you took advantage of his momentary distraction by lifting yourself up and gracefully (you’d like to think) wrapping your thighs around his head, letting out a quiet grunt as you used all of your weight to flip the two of you over and onto the cold pavement. You shakily landed on your feet, but you heard a sickening crunch as the man’s face was the first to make contact with the concrete. The guilt almost bubbled to the surface, but you decided he was one of the few who deserved what he got.

You let out a quick huff as your ample chest heaved up and down with every breath. You could feel that your hair was a tousled mess, and your skirt had ridden up considerably. 

“Holy shit.” 

You looked up quickly and belatedly realized Spike had been standing there, casually leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. He had a small smile on his face, though there was also an uncharacteristic red tint to his angular face.

“Spike?” you breathed out. Despite his relaxed expression, you were momentarily worried that he would be annoyed with you not following the plan.

“Quite the little badass, aren’t you?” he responded, no heat and all fondness.

You took a step towards him, though you swayed slightly. You grimaced at the idea of your bare knees hitting pavement, but more so at the fact that you’d be embarrassing yourself in front of Spike. Your confusion grew when you realized that you were suddenly gently lifted in someone’s arms. Perplexed, you looked up and made eye contact with warm brown ones.

When did he catch me? you silently thought to yourself, and you figured the concussion was a lot more serious than you had previously thought.

“You with me?” Spike softly mumbled your name, and you noticed the concern clouding his eyes. You suddenly realized how close your faces were.

“Concussion,” you quickly responded and you internally slapped yourself at the stupid response, “I, uh. I have one.”

Spike’s face broke out into his typical shit-eating grin, and you felt yourself lighten at the familiar expression.

“You’re cute,” he casually spoke. Spike’s smile widened at the pretty blush that had colored your cheeks.

Just then, a particularly relentless gust of cold air blew through the ally, and you unknowingly shivered. You boldly cradled yourself further into Spike’s broad chest, and his smile dropped upon remembering your current situation.

“Faye,” he snapped into the earpiece as he angled his face slightly away from you, “thank you for taking your sweet time.”

“Pleasure’s all mine, jackass. I’m almost there.”

Your shivering worsened, as the cold air nipped at your exposed arms, legs, midriff, and cleavage. Softly shifting your body so that you were comfortably held up with his one arm, Spike quickly pulled off his jacket with his free arm, and moved you so that he could hold you with his other arm as he completely took off his jacket. You hadn’t noticed, mainly due to the softness of his almost imperceptible actions, and so you were completely surprised when you suddenly felt a warm blanket cover your entire body.

Your eyes snapped open when you realized that it smelled way too good to be a blanket. You looked down at the familiar navy blue jacket that dwarfed your entire body, and you looked up into amused brown eyes. 

His yellow shirt was casually rolled up at the sleeves, and the button-up was tightly fitted across his lean yet muscular figure. His arms flexed underneath your weight, and you relished in the feeling of his warm arms caressing the bare skin of your own legs and arms as he held you bridal style in the dark alley. Your stomach erupted into butterflies as the weight and intimacy of the situation set in. You were brought out of your thoughts when you realized he had caught you subtly checking him out again.

“Stop laughing at me,” you huffed as a wayward strand of your silky hair landed on your forehead.

“Why would I be laughing at you, pretty girl?” he mumbled, a smile dancing on his lips.

His lips.

They were so close to your own, and you were once again filled with the insatiable urge to kiss him. You blinked quickly at the thought. Your concussion must have been doing a real number on you.

Your internal confliction grew stronger with each passing second. A large, large part of you wanted to close the distance between you two and finally kiss Spike, consequences be damned. But the small, louder part of you was terrified. You were terrified of rejection, of your insecurities coming to light, of being just another meaningless fling to Spike. Your thoughts grew cloudier, and you were overtaken with the sudden urge to sleep.

Your eyes grew heavy, and your head began to loll against his broad chest. Noticing this, Spike’s smile dropped once again and he began to silently curse Faye and her damned time management skills. He hurriedly mumbled your name, his distress clearly evident in his deep voice.

“C’mon now don’t go falling asleep with a concussion,” he teased, and some of his worry for you was quelled when he heard your quiet, breathy laughter in response, “Careful, doc, looks like I’m doing your job for you.”

Your smile widened upon his teasing remark, mocking your words from earlier, and you rolled your eyes in response. “Smartass.”

“Never said otherwise.”

Once again, his lips were just the right distance from your own, and you felt an instant surge of confidence. You swallowed, and squashed every single worry and fear you had, reasoning that this was Spike, your Spike, and he wouldn’t hurt you. 

“There is... there is one thing you can do to help the concussion,” you shyly said, your cheeks burning brighter than the red neon sign that loomed over you two.

Spike’s eyes widened and his face turned serious and desperate as he nodded. “Tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.”

Butterflies erupted once again upon noticing how prepared he was to help you, and you smiled up in pure adoration at the tall man. Your eyes quickly darted to his lips then back up to those enchanting eyes. 

“You have to come closer.”

Spike blinked once. A second time. And then he smiled softly at you. Understanding flashed in his eyes, and you swore his cheeks held the faintest of blushes. He leaned in closer. 

“This close?” he knowingly teased, an encouraging lilt to his soft tone.

“Closer.” 

You swore you could feel your heart in your throat as it sporadically beat faster the closer he came. His face was now right in front of yours, and you nervously swallowed. You licked your lips, and he looked down at them, mesmerized with the action.

“How’s this?” he smiled up at you, his usual playful smile on his handsome face.

“Spike,” you half moaned and half whined, frustrated with having him so close, yet not being able to finally get what you want.

His breath hitched at the sweet sound of you moaning his name, and he couldn’t help it before he leaned in slowly and met your soft lips. You closed your eyes and relished in the ecstatic feeling. The kiss itself wasn’t very long, yet everything about it was already burned into your brain. Your lips molded against his for a few more seconds before you softly pulled away and let out a dreamy sigh.

Your nerves attempted to get the better of you, yet you surprisingly felt reassured in your feelings for Spike. You silently looked up at him, but he was already looking down at you with nothing but warmth and fondness on his face. He softly reached down and tucked the wayward strand of hair behind your ear, before softly caressing your cheek. You leaned your face into his warm palm as you closed your eyes once more, and he felt his heart ache sweetly.

“You really should get concussions more often,” Spike cheekily said.

“Shut up,” you responded as you closed your eyes again to nuzzle your face into his chest. There was no heat in your response, and Spike couldn’t help but silently admire you. 

He moved closer to you and gently kissed your forehead before straightening himself up. He tucked you closer into his chest and tightened his jacket around your figure.

Somehow, you weren’t as cold anymore.

“About damn time.”

Your eyes opened, and you mustered up as bright a smile as you could at your friend. 

“Faye!”

An unamused expression donned Spike’s face, and he turned around to pointedly glare at Faye. “I could say the same thing to you. What, you saw a mirror on your way here?”

Faye had restrained the suspect at this point, her heeled shoes digging into his back as a way to alleviate the anger she felt at the man for what he did to you. She looked up and genuinely smiled at Spike, adjusting her coat. 

“Jab all you want, Spike, but thanks to you, I won the little bet I had going on with Jet!”

Faye’s amusement grew when she saw your smile drop and Spike’s glare turn into a lofty smile almost simultaneously. You looked up at Spike, yet you flinched at the sudden movement, as the pounding in your head worsened. Concern washed over Spike, yet you shook your head in reassurance, before continuing. 

“Spike— the earpiece!”

“You just had to make a move now,” Spike mockingly chided, though you knew he wasn’t as bothered as you were.

“Concussion!” you reminded him, and he cooed at the pout you gave him as his gaze softened.

You gulped before guiltily mumbling Jet’s name. “…Jet?”

“Two bonsai trees, you hear me? You owe me two bonsai trees now.”

[home-and-having-tea]

umm klaus, "dont judge me, but i may have murdered someone"

 Ok, just a fair warning, I’m kinda in the mood for dumbass-wholesome-family fics rn so....

Allison started awake to a loud rapping on her door. Blearily squinting at the time blinking red on her alarm clock, she quietly cursed whoever decided to loudly wake her at 3:28 in the morning. She slowly rolled out of bed, the pounding on her door making her head throb. Bundling her blanket around her shoulders like a cape, she stumbled to the door. Opening it, she nearly got a punch to the face as the person kept knocking, momentarily not noting the absence of door. Their green eyes lit up when they noticed Allison slumped in the doorway.

Klaus grinned sheepishly, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “Don’t judge me, but I may have murdered someone.”

“Allison! How is my most dearest sister this lovely-”

“Goddamnit Klaus, you know it’s the middle of the night? Someone had better be dying.”

Allison’s eyes widened and she rubbed her thumbs against her temples, dropping her blanket to the floor with a soft whoomph. “Klaus, for Christ’s sake, you better be joking.”

Grabbing her car keys and locking the house behind her, Allison followed Klaus out to her driveway. She silently started the car, Klaus sliding into the passenger’s seat. Before she left the house she sighed, tiredly resting her head against the steering wheel. She loved her brother, but god, he was an idiot.

“Who do you think you killed, Klaus?” she asked, her words muffled by the wheel. He laughed nervously.

“Well, tonight was boy’s night out, y’know, all the Hargreeves bros out on the town,” he explained, waving his hands around as he talked. “And we all got kinda tipsy, and well, we got to, erm, practicing those weird little jujitsu moves Dad taught us. And, it turns out fighting little Five isn’t a great idea now that he’s... little. He, uh, might currently be unconscious” Allison groaned into the wheel. She took it back. All of her brothers were idiots. 

She slowly peeled her face off the wheel, starting the car as she glared ahead. “If Five isn’t dead, I’m going to make you all wish you were,” she muttered, adding something about how doing martial arts drunk was the stupidest thing she’d ever heard of. They drove in prickly silence, Klaus occasionally tapping quiet beats on the window with his fingertips, his sparkly pink nails picking up the light of passing neon signs. 

Allison looked over when they stopped at a red light. Klaus looked, if anything, scared. She gently tapped the back of his hand. Sure, she was still a little mad and very worried, but she knew Klaus would blame himself endlessly if anything happened to Five. Since they’d gotten back from the sixties, the whole family had silently agreed that they’d look after Five, who desperately needed safety, love, and most of all, a nice three-day nap.

“Hey, Klaus, I’m sure Five is alright. Don’t beat yourself up.”

He smiled weakly. “Beating myself up? Who, me? Never happened, missy.” Allison smiled back reassuringly, turning her attention back to the road as the light turned green.

“Knowing that tiny old man, he’s probably bitching about how you must have cheated to beat the incredible Number Five in a fight,” she said teasingly. It would probably take a lot more than bad judgement and poorly thought out jujitsu to kill him. Klaus drily chuckled back.

“It’s like trying to kill a cockroach, right?”

Allison nodded as they pulled into the bar’s parking lot. “Exactly. He’s gonna be okay, you’ll see.” She quickly parked the car and grabbed the first aid kit from her trunk before hurrying in. As soon as she entered the bar, her still-slightly-intoxicated brothers waved her over to a large booth near the back. Just as she’d suspected, Five was nursing a bleeding cut with a developing bruise around its edges, snapping bitter comments under his breath.

She set down the first aid kit. “Okay, is everyone alive?” Half-hearted mutters met in response. “I’ll take that as a yes. Right, everyone but Five go wait in the car with Klaus, and no damn fighting.” The boys shuffled out to the parking lot, occasionally stumbling against each other as they moved. 

Allison slid into the booth, taking an alcohol wipe out of the kit. Five shrunk back, mumbling something about how it would hurt to clean the cut. She placed the package down. “Five, look, it’s almost four in the morning. I’m exhausted, you’re exhausted. Just let me clean this and we can go home and sleep this all this shit off.” He crossed his arms, but at least stayed still while she wiped off the blood and covered the wound with a thick square of gauze. “Right, that should hold you until morning. I’ll check you for a concussion once you’re a little more sober.” Honestly, what kind of bar did the boys go to where no one noticed a child knocking back a few pints? Good lord. “Ready to go?”

Five nodded, still sulking. They both stood, only to have Five almost immediately trip over his own feet. Allison sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Once they were all sober, she was going to actually kill them. “Just... lean on me. You can sleep in the car on the way back to my house.” Five quietly exhaled, leaning lightly on Allison’s shoulder as she packed up the kit and the two made their way outside at a snail’s pace. 

Once they made it to the car, her three brothers moved from where they were leaning on the doors. Klaus walked up to them nervously. 

“Is Five ok, Alli?” he asked, rubbing his nails like he always did when he was suffering anxiety. She nodded, smiling drily, before opening the door to the backseat. Five slumped in, falling asleep the second his head touched the headrest. Allison pinched the bridge of her nose, her head aching from the stress of trying to take care of her brothers.

“Everyone in. Since you possibly gave Five a concussion, we’re having a family lockdown at my house to look after him. Someone call Vanya...”

The ride back to her house was uncomfortably silent, save Klaus calling a very disgruntled, tired Vanya about the impromptu sleepover and the bumper of her car scraping the road due to Luther’s weight. Pulling into her driveway, she piled her brothers out of the car, picking up an exhausted Five. She fumbled with her keys for a moment before Diego offered to get the door for them. Her bones feeling like lead, she led the boys to the carpeted living room. Gently laying Five on the couch, she made a mental list of what she’d need to take care of four boys with no self-preservation.

“The blankets are in the corner, and I’ll go get water and Advil. You guys are absolutely going to need it in the morning.”

She returned minutes later, her arms loaded with pillows, water bottles, and a bottle of headache meds. Placing them on the coffee table, she unpacked a half dozen blankets, laying a few on Five and leaving the rest for Diego, Luther, and Klaus to divy up. Feeling a major panic attack from overworking coming on, she sunk into an arm chair, letting the night catch up with her. Before she could actually get any rest, the doorbell rang and she scurried to the door to let in Vanya. Who Klaus had apparently told very little about their situation.

“Is... is everything alright? Klaus sounded pretty worried on the phone,” Vanya inquired, her eyes filled with concern. Allison groaned, quickly running through an explanation of the night. Vanya’s eyes widened even further. “Allison, you look exhausted. Why don’t you go get some rest? I had some experience looking after Harlan when he got hurt, and I doubt Five will be too different.”

“Oh my god, thank you Vanya. I feel like I’m either going to strangle them or fall asleep standing up. Or possibly both...” The two sisters giggled as they made their way back to the living room. The boys were quietly bickering over who got which blanket. 

“No more fighting,” Allison yawned. “You guys owe me big time.”

[powermaknae]

I’m the Biggest Hit

NCT 127 x Idol! Reader

In which you, a member of NCT 127, get in a car accident that changes your career.

~Idol! au, best friend! Johnny, Boyfriend? Yuta, blood, car accident, graphic scenes, lot of medicine

Word Count- 4.3K~

A/N: I originally wanted to use Lily for this one, but I started writing and it made more sense to do a reader au. I’m really interested in medicine rn, so I used some stuff I learned from uni. I am also fully aware that some parts make absolutely no sense, from a medical stand point. I just tried to make it work :). Enjoy!

Cherry Bomb was one of your favorite dances to perform. It was so fun to learn and made you smile every time you practiced it. When the boys had their hair cut and dyed various colors and shades, you became overwhelmingly excited. You had yours done with purple and pink highlights. You loved this era.

You were devastated when you couldn’t perform it anymore.

Heading home one night after a schedule, you hopped in the second of two vans required to fit all nine of you. You sat in the passenger seat, Doyoung, Winwin, Taeyong and Yuta in an array behind you.

You sat with your right ankle on your left thigh, wedged and pushing against the door and middle consult. You propped your arm on the windowsill, leaning your head on it slightly as you turned to participate in conversation intermittently. After the energy behind you had calmed significantly, you checked your phone for notifications.

John: Hey

You: Hm

John: Wanna play overwatch later?

Before you had the chance to answer, you heard a loud SMASH. Almost instantaneously, pain surged through your whole body and you yelled out instinctively. The vehicle stopped spinning.

Again, you felt a crunch accompanied by another loud SMASH and everything went blank.

As your body lay limp in the front seat, several people surrounded the vehicles. The others in the first van quickly ran over after the traffic had haltered. Johnny was frantic, panicking once he realized who was missing; you. He clawed through the others trying to pry the concave metal away from the body of the vehicle. His strength mixed with the adrenaline coursing through his veins allowed him to free it with a single jerk.

The sight of your mangled body made him take a step back in shock. “We have to be careful not to move her, it may injure her worse,” one of the staff called to him. He started to break down in front of the open side of the car, completely consumed by panic. The other members caught a glimpse of the gruesome sight, covering their mouths and backing away. Taeyong rushed to Johnny’s side, holding his large frame and allowing him to collapse onto his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably.

Your head hung down, your purple and pink highlights hovering around your face. The beautiful, soft white shirt you had worn had been punctured by a shard of your fractured rip, blood staining and soaking the once elegant fabric. Parts of your arm were bent awkwardly and bruising quickly, and what was left of your right leg looked bloody and shredded, pieces of flesh mixed with muscle, cartilage, and bone shown under the bright streetlights.

An ambulance arrived swiftly, rushing to safely extract you from the van. You were unconscious until you arrived in the emergency room, where they administered several doses of epinephrine. The other members had also been brought for monitoring. Johnny, you were told, collapsed from hyperventilation in the ambulance, but refused to leave your side when he came to.

You woke with a start on the gurney in the confined space of the trauma room. Your eyes shot open, but you had a hard time focusing your vision. Your entire head ached and shot pain signals all over your body. You were barely alive, but you tried your best to stay conscious.

Several voices echoed in your ears, doctors barking orders, asking you questions you couldn’t answer. Above everything, you heard a soft muffled voice, praying for you to come through. You looked around to find the voice and saw a tall figure in the doorway, hands clasped in front of his face. Johnny.

Behind him you saw several other clouded figures pulling him away to let the doctors focus on you. But you didn’t want him to leave. He backed away slowly and turned to go back to the members. You heard a doctor confront you again, but you couldn’t process what they were telling you.

Three doctors lined up holding your arm with a strong grip. The one closest to you gave a quick count down and you felt pressure in your shoulder, then a massive amount of excruciating pain. Your cry was muffled by the mask sending oxygen to your face but was still heard throughout the room. You teared up and felt a tear sting the corner of your eye. Either the pain was too much or you’d lost too much blood, but you blacked out again shortly after that, and didn’t regain consciousness until you were waking up from surgery.

Your eyes flurried slowly, trying hard to focus. Your entire body was numb from the waning anesthesia and all you could take in was white. You felt surrounded by the color white, its bright hue clouding the little you could see. You felt drowsy and uneasy, mind unsettled. What had happened?

As more of your surroundings came into view, you saw several people sitting around you. Some had white coats and others wore mostly black. You were hooked up to wires, a heart monitor, an IV with multiple fluids. You were breathing through a tube, and you choked on it slightly when you went to breathe yourself.

Someone beside you must have heard because a nurse was quickly summoned to take the tube out. Your eyes were more adjusted to the bright room now and you could see all the blankets covering your body, the bustling hall outside your room, and you could make out faces now. Several doctors came to check your vitals, but you were more focused on the black figures by your side. The boys had stayed with you: Taeyong, Jaehyun, Yuta, and Johnny, all standing now at the side of the bed, your manager in the corner of the room.

Johnny looked like he hadn’t eaten or slept in days. His eyes were puffy and red. Yuta had scratches and some stitches along the side of his face. He had been sitting behind you in the van and had taken some of the blow, but it was evident that you were impacted the most. Taeyong however, looked fine physically, but the expression on his face said he had been sick with worry and Jaehyun had just returned with his arms full of coffee for everyone when you had awoken.

You went to grab the closest hand to prove your wellbeing and became acutely aware of your state of injury. Your right arm was up in a sling, unable to move and your abdomen was wrapped tightly in multiple layers of bandages. Everything below your waist was numb.

Your attention was whisked away by the abrupt voices of the doctors at your feet. “Hello, Y/N. How are you feeling?” You were taken aback by the English you weren’t used to hearing. You tried to speak for the first time but only air came out. “That’s ok, you don’t have to talk just yet. We’re going to do a few tests to make sure everything is how it should be, ok?” You nodded slowly.

A nurse shined a bright light in your eyes. “Pupil are equal and reactive.” That’s a good sign. “Can you wiggle your fingers for me?” You successfully moved each one in small slow motion. You looked at your friends. Yuta kept a stern face, watching every movement carefully, but Johnny and Taeyong gave you reassuring smiles.

The doctors and nurses wrote down notes on your chart, took your vitals again, then turned to the other men in the room with a kind face. “Would you mind giving us a minute?” They turned to each other then to you with a questioning look. You nodded in approval and they shuffled out behind one another and stood just outside the closed door.

“I know this might be a little scary. Just stop me if it’s too much.” You gave a concerned look. “You’re conscious enough to know what all has happened.” You relaxed slightly.

“You suffered a mild concussion; you may feel a little dizzy for a few days. Your right humerus has a small hairline fracture right here.” They pointed to the base, next to your elbow. “Your shoulder was also dislocated but was fixed when you first arrived. Your arm will need to be in a cast for a couple of weeks but shouldn’t cause any trouble. You also suffered several rib fractures on your right side. One punctured through the abdominal wall, but there were no internal injuries.” That explains the multitude of bandages.

“The worst of your injuries may be a bit shocking, so prepare yourself.” They gently pulled your covers away, revealing the numb part of you body. In front of you laid your left leg, slightly bruised, and battered, but otherwise fine, and a stump ending right above where your knee should’ve been. Your eyes burned as your heart filled with panic. “Your knee and the cartilage around it had been pulverized. There wasn’t much we could do to save it. I’m so sorry.” At that, the room cleared. You felt a deep sadness as you stared at the empty space.

Your sinuses began to burn as tears plummeted from the corner of your eyes. You quietly sniff, trying your best not to show your heart. You found Yuta standing up by your head, sweetly stroking your hair as you cried. Johnny held your weak hand tightly, holding back his own tears, Taeyong quietly comforted him, his bubblegum pink hair covered his eyes. Jaehyun sat at the foot of your bed and rubbed your calf affectionately.

They stayed with you as much as they could in between schedules, drifting in and out with other members. Johnny and Yuta stayed most nights with you instead of going back to the dorm. They would come right after the schedules and sleep in a spare cot next to your bed, then leave early to go get ready. Taeyong, being the leader he is, drove with them and made sure you were all doing alright. Other members would bring you food when you were able to eat again and gifts like stuffed animals. Some of them even brought your things from home like your clothes and books and your toothbrush.

You felt like, after being in a hospital bed for so long, that you lived there more than anywhere. The boys always insisted on helping you with normal tasks. At first, you tried to deny it, pushing them away, but after a while, you just let them do it. If Taeil wanted to wheel you to the cafeteria, you’d let him.

As time went on, schedules become more frequent, Johnny arrived later and left earlier, and Yuta stayed less frequently, practicing during the night instead. You also became busier, focused on regaining your mobility on your own. You had been working with new technology that was pioneering new prosthetic limbs that would allow you to regain the ability to dance and would be discharged soon, going back to the dorm.

The sling holding your arm has been removed, leaving only the purple plaster of your choice, peppered in black ink where your friends had signed. Many of the other bandages have become lighter and less abundant as well. You’d been practicing walking with crutches and were able to get around without a wheelchair, but they planned to send you home with one anyway.

The day they bring you home is much less excited than you’d hoped. The boys were at schedules all day, doing interviews, with an award show that evening, so no one would be home. You had to sign all this liability paperwork before you could leave, which took quite a bit of time. You are not supposed to be left alone while at the dorm, for fear of your mental health and of possible injury, so a staff member will be accompanying you while the boys are away. Lame.

The familiar company van is loaded with equipment instead of men in shiny outfits. Your heart aches from the feeling. You sit in the back seat this time, far away from the impact point, fear creeping in your mind.

You make it to the dorm safely. Nothing to worry about. No one is present upon your arrival. You’re not even sure they know you were discharged today. The rooms are quiet and tidy as always. The silence is unnerving.

You get settled, putting all of your things that had been brought to you in the hospital, back in there original place, sitting on your bed, admiring the sight before you. You still had so much time before they got back.

Their faces light up with big smiles, when they first open the door to find you sitting at the high countertop. A line formed to give you hugs and encouraging statements, Johnny being the first and taking the longest, telling you how glad it was to have you back.

You wanted to make the members some food. You knew they’d be hungry after the show, maybe you could make some quick ramyeon for them to share on your first night home. Unfortunately, you still hadn’t gained full independence yet, so you asked the staff charged with your company, Minjae, to help you. He does most of it for you as you sit in your wheelchair, cutting vegetables and monitoring what you can. When it is ready you cover it with the lid and hoist yourself onto the bar stool and patiently wait for the energy to fill the room once more.

***

Living in the dorm after the accident was much different. Someone was always by your side, whether you wanted them or not. Taeyong had given them assignments of who would watch you without your knowledge and of course himself, Johnny and Yuta offered the most time. You became closer with other members too, going to dinner with Mark, playing games with Haechan, and watching movies with Doyoung.

You almost resented them for looking down on you. You were not lesser even though a part of you was missing, but you never told them that. Yuta was the only one that still treated you normally. He pushed you to be better. The others just did everything for you and you started to believe you were inept.

One night, you had been so depressed from lack of sunshine and human contact. You were home alone with Johnny while the others went out to celebrate a birthday. Johnny, being so much larger in stature that you, liked to carry you everywhere, but you hated it because it didn’t allow you to progress. He fell asleep early that night, exhausted from all the activities, but you couldn’t sleep. Your mind just kept spinning. Why me? Why did this have to happen to me? Why am I stuck in this house, unable to live a normal life?

You got out of bed using your crutches, being careful not to wake Johnny, as he made you sleep in Haechan’s bed when you had to stay with him. You snuck out quietly, going to the bathroom and looking as your own somber expression.

You feel your eyes start to tear up at the thoughts racing through your head. You go to take a step back, shifting your weight to you right side and CRASH. You hit your back on the cold tile floor.

The crash of the crutches were enough to wake Johnny from his deep sleep and he rushes to the bathroom, panic coating his handsome face. You don’t move for a second, but you feel no pain. Your emotions just slam through your whole body, letting all the pent-up sadness out in one foul swoop.

You prop yourself up on your hands, moving to sit with your back against the decorated wall. Johnny’s worry and panic quickly fades as he sees you sob against the wall and for once, he doesn’t offer to help you. He sits down next to you, holding his knees close to his body, allowing yours to take up more space. You lean your head on his shoulder and he lets you only saying in a soft voice, “Are you ok?” You let everything out, every emotion since the crash, all the anger, frustration, depression comes rolling out of you.

 Since the accident, you almost never dream. The dreams you do have are nightmares that keep you awake, but they’ve subsided over time. You haven’t spent very many nights alone, sneaking into the other members bedrooms. You confided in Johnny most nights and even roomed with him for a while. He was your best friend, after all. But you found yourself around Yuta a lot more than you had in a while.

After that, he doesn’t carry you. He offers a hand that you brush away, but he doesn’t insist, only hands you the crutches and waits for you to leave first, trailing behind your smaller figure.

***

You have always considered him a close friend, being the same age. It wasn’t awkward between you and you shared your innermost feelings with each other. Recently, everyone had decided that having roommates on tour is no longer necessary, so you all got separate rooms. But you hate being alone. You hate being left to your thoughts.

You got a notification on your phone, hoping for Johnny to invite you to come jam with him, but it was V App alerting you of a new live stream. “It’s been a while,” it read. Who is on this late? You open it in a state of curiosity. A familiar face appears in your hand, his wavy brown hair hanging in front of his forehead. He looked tired and depressed from the long day you’d had. You’ve been worried about his mental health recently, but he won’t tell you if something was wrong.

After waiting for some time, hoping the live would end, you grabbed your phone and key card and quietly strolled a few doors down, knocking softly, careful not to wake any other residents. The door cracks and suddenly flies open at the recognition of your face. “Hey, I’m on V App. What’s up?” He puts his hands in his pockets as you offer him a soft smile.

You don’t say anything, you just hold your arms open for him to hug you. He obliges and hugs you tightly, bending down slightly to reach you. His hugs are always so warm and lovely, but never long enough. “Can I stay?” You look up at his kind face as you pull away. “Of course.”

Yuta doesn’t really care if you stay or not, he enjoys your company but is fine to be alone. He surely cares for you and could never say no to you, especially if you pouted. There isn’t much to do, so the two of you talk with fans and mess around on your phones. There is only one chair in the room and Yuta lets you have it. “Can you talk to them for a bit, I’m gonna wash my face.” You nod with a bright smile and return to the eager fans, introducing yourself.

Throughout the live stream, Yuta seems to have his hands all over you, giving you back hugs and having you sit on his lap when the fans ask questions about you. You end up falling asleep on his fluffy plush bed and he leaves you alone for the time being, courteously trying to keep his voice down for you.

You were walking down a long stretch covered by sakura trees. That’s all you could see. It was peaceful and serene, not another living soul to be found. You move in a circle, looking for absolutely anything else, but only see the beautifully blossomed trees. What is this place?

Suddenly you see a bright flashing coming toward you and BANG. You fall to the ground, pain surging down your spine and out to every limb. You prop yourself up, checking for injury and only see one: Your leg. You could see the blood pooling around it. The pain was so realistic, you hollered and jolted yourself awake, your eyes shoot wide open and you sit up, hold your hands behind you.

Yuta turns around quickly. He then quickly turns back to the camera saying in a calm voice, “Good night, everyone. Hope you’re doing well.” He turns the camera off and puts all of his attention on you. “Another one? Are you ok?” His voice is soothing, even though it’s laced with concern. “Yeah, I think so.”

You had forgotten to take off the prosthetic leg before falling asleep. You did on most occasions, but this time, it slipped your mind. It wasn’t uncomfortable to wear, so it didn’t bother you. But as you sit up in Yuta’s bed, you avoid eye contact, only staring at the leg, still feeling the hyper realistic pain from the dream in the phantom limb.

Yuta follows your gaze and realizes why you haven’t moved yet. You typically shake off the terrifying feeling after having a nightmare, but he also knows that the spirts of phantom pain have become more frequent during dance practice and at night. He knows that the only way to make it go away is to take the prosthetic off, so he motions to help you undo the latches holding it to your body and you don’t stop him.

Once removed, Yuta sits in the shadow of where it used to lay on the bed and gently props it up against the nightstand. You relax back into bed, the pain subsiding from your body. He holds your hand and pulls himself fully onto the bed now, sitting up behind you, placing an arm around you. You adjust your position, leaning on his chest and letting him comfort you.

This is how your relationship with Yuta is. You are closer than just friends, but not allowed to date. If you could date him, you would, but it’s against company policy and you would both lose your positions.

Taeyong had helped you learn how to dance again. He and Johnny would accompany you to the doctors office when you were first getting acquainted with the new technology. Johnny still goes with you to physical therapy and has even gone as far as to help you with home exercised. Taeyong was curious about the technology at first but studied it in order to help you learn better.

He shows a lot of affection towards you, takes you out for dinner and is always saying how pretty you look. When you were first recovering from the accident, he would take you outside to play soccer. Not proper but enough to get you used to the difficult tasks. He was always supportive and was willing to help you get back on your feet.

***

You had bought yourself a pair of Heelys and made the strong decision to learn how to use them proficiently and maybe even cover a dance with them.

You had an implant in the end of your thigh, just above the incision, that acted as a neuro pathway to the prosthetics. This allowed you to consciously use the joints in your mechanical knee and ankle, allowing for better mobility. The first leg was much more advanced in the technology and easier for you to use, but looked very obvious. The second was ordered by Lee Soo Man himself, to give you a better image. It had a realistic cover that made it look real, and it was waterproof so you could swim in it. It made you feel pretty again, you could wear clothes other than pants and go swimming, but it made dancing significantly more difficult. The neuro pathway didn’t reach the ankle joint very well. You have to dance in heals in order to have proper balance. You preferred the metal one, but understood the other was also necessary.

Cherry Bomb quickly went from your favorite performance to the hardest, particularly the killing part at the end. You were one of the people supposed to drop to the floor because you were so flexible, but the balance of it became an issue. You always fell too early and would hit the ground too hard. Yuta offered to switch your positions which made you upset at first, but gave you time to perfect it again.

It wasn’t a difficult change and it would put you closer to the center at the end, but surely the fans would notice and it would hurt your pride a little. But you weren’t confident in the split part either. You practiced more by yourself or with someone else like Taeyong or Yuta in the room, but you never practiced together. So whenever you would work on that part, you would get about halfway down, then fall either onto your hands or back on your butt. You just couldn’t figure out the balance. You never even considered what it would be like as a group.

You hadn’t practiced older songs with the other members in a while, unable to actually perform, but when all nine of you were together, it was different. Your ability to dance the first part of Cherry Bomb wasn’t a problem at all, but you became nervous when you approached the ending. The switch with Yuta was smooth, unwavering, flawless. And when you formed the line down the center of the room, Taeyong turned his head to check on you, you nodded to him inconspicuously. He reached behind his back and grabbed your right hand lightly, placing it across his left shoulder, offering you stability in the front. He then glanced farther back to Yuta who also nodded to him in understanding. He softly placed his own hand in the curve of back pushing slightly when you starting to lean backwards.

Between the two of them, you had perfect stability and balance to move all the way to the correct position. A wide smile beamed on your face as the song ended and you turned to them both. “How does that work?” Taeyong inquired. All you do is hug him, then Yuta after. Gratitude filled you as you felt whole again. You were back.

[voyager-into-the-unknown]

An Evening at an Earth Mall

By truegryffindorforever2

(Part 2 of a series, beginning with “An Afternoon in the Garden”)

Summary: Sam is overprotective, Colleen is supportive, Hunk texts Lance when he’s shopping at the mall, and Lance nearly dies of second hand embarrassment when he realizes that Katie Holt, is in fact, not a girl, but a young woman.

After heading to the men’s locker room to change out of his Garrison uniform and into comfortable civilian clothing, Lance headed towards the base’s garage to meet up with Pidge and Colleen. As he approached Mrs. Holt’s car, he heard Sam’s voice from a distance.

“Boyfriend?! Since when?” Sam exclaimed angrily.

“Since today. But we have been really close for a long time, Dad. We were best friends for the last few years—“

“He’s too old for you!”

“He’s a year and eight months older than me. And besides, I’m eighteen years old, and that’s old enough to have a boyfriend.”

“Katie, I’ve watched The Voltron Show. Colleen, did you know that this boy’s nickname is Loverboy Lance?! How did he get a nickname like that, Katie?”

“Dad, that show was totally fake, and Coran gave him that ridiculous nickname. We all thought it was hilarious because Lance hasn’t ever really had a serious girlfriend before—“

“Your friends say that he’s the biggest flirt in the Galaxy. How do you know he won’t break your heart?”

“Dad, please. Lance is a great guy. He’s sweet and funny and honest and brave. And I wouldn’t be standing here talking to you right now if it weren’t for him. He’s saved my life quite a few times.”

Sam exhaled, then was silent, pondering all of this. Lance stood in shadow, behind a large armored vehicle that kept him hidden from view. His heart was hammering in his chest. He wanted the Holts to like him. What could he do to earn Sam’s trust?

“Colleen, what do you think of all this?”

“Well, he seems like a nice young man, and I trust our daughter’s judgement.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Also, he’s probably heading this way right now, so you had better be on your best behavior, Sam.”

“All right, but whether you are eighteen or eighty, Katie Holt, so long as you live under my roof, you will have a curfew when you go out at night with that young man. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

Lance knew he had to face Sam eventually, but at the moment he just wanted to stay hidden. He took a deep breath, and stepped forward into the light.

“There he is.” Pidge waved, smiling at him as she moved toward him.

Lance enveloped Pidge in his arms, and she squeezed him tightly, giving him a swift kiss on the cheek. He grinned at her.

“Hello everyone!” He turned to Sam and snapped to attention to give a salute. “Commander Holt, sir.”

Sam saluted him in return. “Paladin.” Lance extended his right hand and Sam shook it cordially. “So, I hear you are escorting my daughter to the Garrison Ball.”

“Yes, sir.” Pidge took Lance’s left hand, giving it a little squeeze. He smiled at her, then turned back to Sam. “It’s a great honor sir. I think I must be the luckiest guy in the universe.” Pidge beamed at him, and they both blushed as pink as the sunset over the grand mesa just beyond the western gate.

Sam felt a wave of nostalgia, remembering how young he and Colleen were when they first started dating. For a moment, Lance reminded him of himself at that age. The genuine affection between the two of young people was apparent. He honestly couldn’t remember seeing his daughter so happy since she returned home from space, and for a moment he felt a pang of regret. He had missed so much of her growing up while he was a prisoner of the Galra. She matured into a brilliant, courageous young woman, one who had fought warlords and sentries, bounty hunters and space pirates, and who had helped save the universe from destruction alongside this awkwardly earnest, gangly young man who obviously wore his heart on his sleeve.

“You kids have a nice time at the mall. Matt and I are eating supper in the mess hall tonight, and then we’re finishing up a few things in the lab before the weekend.”

“Well, I’ve had a notion. I’m making my famous baked ziti with garlic knots for lunch on Saturday. Sam, wouldn’t it be nice if we invited Lance over tomorrow?”

“Indeed. How does 11:00 sound?”

“Sounds great, sir.”

Colleen smiled. “You know, Lance, Sam and I were quite the ballroom dancers back in our day. We could give you and Katie a few pointers if you’d like.”

“It’s true. Mom and dad gave me dancing lessons since I was little, whether I liked it or not.”

“She’s a natural,” Sam added.

“My parents taught me most of the traditional Latin American dances when I was just a kid, but I am really out of practice. This is going to be fun!” Lance said with enthusiasm.

“Well, we’re all set, then. We had better head out towards the mall,” Colleen said cheerfully. “We’ll be home around ten, dear.” She kissed her husband goodbye and got into the driver’s seat. Katie, to her mother’s surprise, didn’t want to sit in the front passenger’s seat as she usually did. She sat on the back seat with Lance, who couldn’t seem to wipe the dreamy smile off of his face if he tried. As they sped away across the desert Colleen was almost certain that he was holding her daughter’s hand.

The mall wasn’t too crowded, considering that it was a Friday night. Lance was impressed with how quickly the place had been remodeled in the aftermath of the invasion. So much had changed since they had been chosen as Paladins of Voltron, and it took some getting used to. They encountered nearly as many off-world species as humans among the vendors and shoppers, but somehow it was weirdly familiar.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say we were back at the Space Mall,” said Pidge, voicing his thoughts aloud.

“Yeah. Hey, look, Pidge! It’s the guy from the Earth Store!” Lance pointed to the skinny grey-green alien wearing an Area 51 baseball cap. “I don’t think he’s giving away any free Kalteneckers today, though.”

“Kalteneckers?” asked Colleen.

“She’s our cow. It’s a long story, Mom.”

“Sam said something about you two having a cow in space, but I thought he was kidding, or delusional.”

“She was free with purchase. Pidge really wanted that Mercury Gameflux II with a vintage copy of Killbot Phantasm, but we were completely broke,” Lance explained.

“So we took off our shoes, rolled up our trouser legs and went wading in the mall’s wishing fountain to look for coins,” said Pidge.

“Katie Holt! You know I raised you better than that. My daughter, the criminal,” Colleen chided, in mock disapproval.

“Yeah, she’s a bad influence on me.” Lance grinned. “We nearly got arrested by the Mall Cop. But we escaped with Kaltenecker on a hover board.”

“The things a man will do for love,” Pidge teased. “Lance hit his head when we escaped and nearly gave himself a concussion.”

“Yeah, but you wanted to kiss it and make it all better, right?”

“No, I did not,” she said indignantly, “but I had to bandage you up after that fall because Hunk was riding shotgun with Coran, and Keith was ready to eject you into space.”

Colleen sighed. How had these kids managed to become saviors of the universe? Perhaps the Creator of the Cosmos had a sense of humor.

After a bit of window shopping, they found both the tuxedo shop and the dress shop they were searching for.

“Lance, when you are done trying on tuxedos, you can ask the saleswoman at the dress shop to show you to the lounging area in the back of the store. There are some comfortable armchairs for patient husbands, or in this case, boyfriends, who may have to wait a long time for their significant other to finish trying on dresses.”

Finding a tuxedo that fit him was relatively easy. Lance was tall and slim, and nearly any style looked great on him. He tried on the most classy one he could afford, and then made finger guns at himself as he admired his own reflection in the shop’s main mirror. “Razzle Dazzle, Baby!” He did a little dance, humming to himself as he strutted back and forth, and then he stopped himself, realizing that the other refined gentle beings in the shop were staring at him. “I had better stop that,” he thought. “Sam Holt definitely doesn’t want his daughter dating a goofball.”

After he was finished at the tuxedo shop, Lance headed back to the dress shop and found one of the comfortable armchairs that Colleen was talking about. There were magazines to browse through, but they were all about fashions for ladies, so he decided to check his phone when he sat down. He had a few missed calls. There was a text from Hunk that caught his attention as soon as he checked his messages.

Hunk: Where are you? I’ve been trying to reach you all evening.

Lance: At the mall. I just picked out my tux for the Garrison Ball. 😎

Hunk: Wait a minute, the ball? Did you do it?!

Lance: Do what?

Hunk: Ask her out.

Lance: Ask who out?

Hunk: You’re denser than a neutron star. YOU KNOW WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT. Your best friend.

Lance: Sorry, Hunk, I can’t take you to the ball. My girlfriend would be jealous.

Hunk: Not me! Your other best friend! And since when do you have a girlfriend?!

Lance: Um, since this afternoon. Since we made out in her mom’s hydroponics lab. 😙💋😉

Hunk: No way!

Lance: Yes, way. 😎 *Razzle Dazzle!*

Hunk: I hope you were a gentleman. She’s a sweet, innocent girl, so you better keep that in mind, Loverboy. And she happens to be my best friend, too. So if you ever hurt her...

Lance: I’ll never hurt her. I love her.

Hunk: 😮😃😍

Lance: She loves me too. 🥰

Hunk: I’m crying rn. I’m so happy for you both.

Lance: I call dibs on the best man.

Hunk: What?

Lance: When we get married, I call dibs on you for the best man. Pidge will fight me for you, so I’m calling dibs.

Hunk: 😂 You haven’t even gone on your first date yet, you nut.

Lance: No, but we have already planned our second date, which is really happening before the first date, so maybe the second date really is the first date.

Hunk: You’re not making any sense.

Lance: Italian food and ballroom dancing tomorrow at the Holts.

Hunk: Smooth. They don’t call you Loverboy for nothing.

Lance: ✨😎✨

Hunk: Talk to you later, man.

Lance: Later, dude.

Lance checked a few other messages and put his phone away. Just when he was bored enough to pick up a magazine, he heard Pidge and her mother having a conversation in the dressing room closest to him.

“Let’s see the next one, darling.” There was the sound of a dressing room door opening. “Oh that color is beautiful on you. Turn around...let’s see it...Oh, I love it!”

“It’s my favorite so far, too,” said Pidge.

“But you can’t wear it with your bra straps showing like that. Try it on with the strapless bra.”

“I did. It doesn’t fit right.”

“Why not? Is it the right size?”

“I don’t have enough up top to hold it up. It keeps falling off me. I might as well not wear a bra at all.”

Lance’s eyes were as round as saucers and his face felt as if it were on fire. His imagination was now filled with naughty thoughts about his girlfriend wearing a bra, then wearing a strapless bra, and then wearing...

“Did you try the bustier with it?”

“You mean this white lacy thing that looks like a corset?”

“Yes, with the matching lace panties. Aren’t they adorable?”

Lance’s jaw dropped, then he covered his face with the magazine, hoping no one saw how he looked right now. Is this how spontaneous human combustion occurs? He might just burst into flames any moment now. Holy crow!

“Mom, this looks like bridal lingerie. And it’s expensive.”

“It is, dear. But it’s so worth it.”

“But why spend so much on underwear that no one will get to see except me?”

“Well, if everything goes well, maybe Lance will get to see you wearing it...someday.”

“Mother!”

“I meant on your wedding night, dear.”

“MOM! Can you be any more embarrassing?!”

Lance had sunk as deeply into the armchair as humanly possible. Maybe if he sat still long enough he could turn invisible. He hoped the armchair wasn’t flammable.

Several humiliating minutes (hours?) later, he heard Pidge and her mother come to an agreement about the dress (and the lacy unmentionables), and he decided that it would be best if he wasn’t there when they came out of the dressing room area. If Pidge saw his face she would know instantly what he had overheard, and then he actually might die of embarrassment, or worse, he might say something stupid like “Aw, that’s a cute little bustier,” and then she might turn her bayard on him and murder him on the spot.

Yes, now was definitely a good time to go use the men’s room. He would meet them in front of the store later.

The shoe store was next, and Pidge was apprehensive about wearing the sort of high heeled slippers that would have to be worn with her dress. She teetered back and forth awkwardly when she she tried to walk on such tiny heels, and once, she stumbled right into Lance’s arms. He caught her, and smiled his most charming smile at her. “I always knew you would fall for me,” he said in his huskiest voice. “I’m irresistible.”

“More like incorrigible. Mom, are you sure I can’t wear flats with this dress?”

Finally, after finding a pair of shoes with a wider (and lower) heel, they put all of their purchases in the trunk of the car, then went back into the mall for a late supper at the food court.

“Hey, look, they have a Vrepit Sal’s!” Lance exclaimed happily.

“Mom, you have to try this place. Their whole menu is based on Hunk’s original recipes. The food is amazing!”

*******

It was a clear night, the desert sky alit by thousands of distant stars, some with worlds they had visited, teeming with life. The drive home was a peaceful one, with Colleen at the wheel. Through her rear view mirror, she could see Lance and Pidge sitting behind her, quietly reminiscing about their many adventures in space, until Pidge yawned, snuggled closer to him, and finally fell asleep against Lance’s chest. Lance, who already had his arm around her, kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes, smiling as one does when having a very, very pleasant dream.

[sandcastles-hedestroys]

1-70 I want to know it all in great detail

I see, the key to getting asks is to passive-aggressively tag your friends.

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Anyone who has ever known me in real life knows I absolutely do not. I have an alcoholic, compulsive liar for a mother and an absent father, plus some grandparents who are so convinced that they are my actual parents that they would probably kick me out if they learned I refer to them as my grandparents. Fun times.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Either my dog or yours lol. I don’t like telling people I love them. That’s something to be shown through your actions, otherwise the word loses its meaning. 

03: Do you regret anything?

I don’t even know where to start with this one. I’ve regretted basically every major decision I’ve made, and I probably shouldn’t be allowed to think for myself. If I had to name a few things that I regret right now, I would say I regret spending my spring break being so bitter. I really did have a good time, but I would have enjoyed myself more if I hadn’t tried to make it about me. My other big regret at the moment is cancelling my campus residence app. I screwed myself out of a guaranteed place and now I’m stuck with a bunch of drama and uncertainty. Also, there’s a friend that I’ve had for years and there were times when I was pretty horrible to her and she stuck with me despite it. I wish I had been mature enough at the time to be the person she needed in her life, instead of causing drama.

04: Are you insecure?

Extremely. I have a lot of insecurities about my body, mostly my face and hair, but a lot of my family in underweight and it was kind of instilled in me, that to be attractive I had to be underweight, like I remember when I started high school I made it a goal to stay below 110lbs until after graduation. I was still growing so that goal was as unrealistic as it was unhealthy. I’ve struggled with disordered eating since I was like 12. Other than that I can be really insecure about asking for the things I want and need. One of my biggest fears is people seeing me as selfish.

05: What is your relationship status?

I’m a single Pringle! I was in a relationship for a few months, but I got dumped because I consistently put my friends before her, which is funny because I’m in the middle of some conflicts with friends over not talking with them enough. I’ve been on a few dates and stuff since then, but I’m in a bad place right now mental health wise, so being single is probably for the best rn. 

06: How do you want to die?

This is kind of dark, but I don’t really care how I die as long as I’m in control of how it happens. If there’s a really wild and interesting story involved that would be even better. 

07: What did you last eat?

I’m munching on some green chili peanuts with a crap ton of Diet Coke. I’m at home right now so I’ve been eating way more than usual.

08: Played any sports?

I used to do ballet, gymnastics, contemporary and jazz, as well as various ballroom dances. I’ve blocked most of it out and lost a lot of my flexibility, but I would love to return to ballet at some point. I miss gymnastics too, but I’m too tall for it lol.

09: Do you bite your nails?

I’ve always been weirdly prideful of my nails and the thought of biting them has always freaked me out, like my nails are my babies. Keeping them nice is a big deal to me so my chompers can stay the hell away lmao

10: When was your last physical fight?

I’ve never actually been in a physical fight. The closest encounters were last semester, when my old roommate got a concussion from a crazy person that used to live with us, and a few years ago when I let a friend slap me.

11: Do you like someone?

I’m assuming this means like like. I’m not super interested in dating right now, but there have been people that have sparked my interest recently.

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

I am smol and weak. My fragile shell of a body would actually start to disintegrate if I tried this. I’ve only made it to 24hrs once and my body like completely shut down.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

I don’t like using the word hate for the same reasons I don’t like using the word love. There are people that I will not associate myself with and there are people in my life that I don’t feel any positive emotions towards, but there isn’t anyone that I could comfortably say I hate. 

14: Do you miss someone?

There are a lot of people from my life a few years back that I really miss, but I have to remind myself that I was a different person then, and some bonds are meant to be broken. I also really miss a lot of the friends I have at school. I take them for granted until we’re apart and then I feel all hallow, like part of me left too and that really sucks.

15: Have any pets?

I have a Chihuahua-weiner mix. He’s super old and he doesn’t have a tail and his name is Bob. He’s great. My aunt’s dog is basically my dog too, and he’s a pit mix. His name is Chester and he is actually a giant teddy bear. My friends have a doggo too, her name is Gwen and I am her aunt. She is the most talented and amazing fluffer who deserves the world.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I’m at that weirdly numb point right now where emotions are like a foreign concept to me. I’ve been super stressed and I have a lot of pretty serious decisions at the back of my mind that I can do nothing about at the moment. I’m super behind on my schoolwork and with all this stress, I know I can’t catch up. It’s super frustrating and there’s been a lot of drama amongst my friend group, making me feel like I can’t really trust anyone in my life right now. My age has been preventing me from doing so much recently and since my birthday is around the corner, even the people who claim to understand have been super condescending about my anger over it. There have also been a lot of deaths recently in the city where I go to school, and I’ve learned that death is a bit of a trigger for me, so that hasn’t been fun. I feel like I’m one serious breakdown from being there myself and that’s super scary. 

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Somehow, no.

18: Are you scared of spiders?

When I was little I was really afraid of spiders and would go out of my way to have them killed. I had intense breakdowns whenever I thought a web touched me. Now, I regret having hurt innocent creatures and I think spiders are really cool. Leave the land crabs alone!

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yeah, knowing what I know now, I think that it would be cool to try and get myself to the point where I am now, but without a lot of the drama.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

My dorm room lol. 

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

I’m taking a greyhound back to my college town on Saturday, and Sunday I’m returning to my normal schedule. I’m not looking forward to that eight hour bus ride.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I’m kind of a lone wolf, and I really want to travel so kinds aren’t really in the picture, at least not until I’ve gotten my doctorate. Even then I would either adopt or use a donor, and I wouldn’t have more than two. 

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Right now only my ears are pierced, but I plan on getting my septum done in May, followed by a double medusa. I also really want dimples and a brow done. Eventually I’d do my nipples and stomach as well.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

I’ve always been geared toward the liberal arts. I love all things involving art, history, and languages. I low-key have always enjoyed math too. I’m working on my bachelors in comparative cultural studies with minors in queer studies and museum studies. I want to carry that on to a masters in gender studies and a phd in Buddhist art. After that I’d like to go back to school fo economics and eventually obtain a masters in economic history.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

I miss people from my past when I’m unsatisfied with the people currently in my life. I have to remind myself that they aren’t around anymore for a reason and that it’s more important to work on the relationships that are relevant. Dwelling on the past does more harm than good. 

26: What are you craving right now?

Some love and affection? I’m not craving anything really. I could just use some peace and quiet.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes. I’ve broken an ex’s heart when I ended the relationship. I was unhappy, to the point where I cheated. This was also the point when I started to question if I was actually a lesbian. I dumped him and never told him why. I broke my friend’s heart when I led her on, but then rejected her because I was in love with someone else (who did something similar to me). I broke my aunt’s heart when I told her I felt like I don’t have a family. I broke my biological mother’s heart when I made it clear that I didn’t want her in my life. I’m pretty good at the whole hurting others thing. 

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

It’s very possible, but if someone did, they never told me.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

I can’t name a specific time, but I’m sure it’s happened.

30: What’s irritating you right now?

What isn’t irritating me right now? Oh my god. 

31: Does somebody love you?

I’ve had a lot of people tell me they do, but I have a hard time feeling it most of the time.

32: What is your favourite color?

I love every color, and I don’t like making colors feel left out, so my favorite changes a lot. Right now it’s yellow, because yellow is a bright, warm, happy color. I also really like pink. The pastels of both of those are 10/10

33: Do you have trust issues?

I legit don’t even trust myself. The only person I honestly trust 100% is my aunt. I have really bad trust issues, but I also overshare a ton. My life is a cycle of sharing my life story and then panicking. 

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

The other night I went to sleep while drunk and I had this wild dream where I met someone, learned his whole life story, flirted and eventually fell in love with him, came out to him, saying I’m not sexually attracted to guys (he came out as ace too so it was perf), and then he was hit by a car, causing irreparable brain damage. I woke up right after, but that dream will haunt me.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My aunt. I was updating her on my life in college, and it’s been less than ideal.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

I’m a huge believer of forgive but don’t forget. I used to be so bad about grudges that I would be angry even after forgetting what I was upset about. I guess I have the opposite issue here.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive. Like I said above, I might forgive you, but knowing what someone did before will always leaving me searching for instances of them doing it again. Trust issues who?

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

It’s only March and I already know that it will be one of the worst years of my life. Ugh.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

I think I was thirteen. I didn’t know how I felt about guys at the time and I almost puked in that poor dude’s mouth. 

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

I have, and it was terrifying. Midday skinny dipping wasn’t one of my greatest ideas.

51: Favourite food?

Avocado on toast with a poached egg on top, muffuletta, yellow curry, and eggs benedict are my top ones.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Absolutely. I didn’t really believe this until my roommate’s big fight last year. So much happened in one night, that wouldn’t have happened if we had done things even a second later. It was wild, but it was like there was so much pent up negative energy that the universe needed to release, and it found a way to make that happen.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

I put some food away.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

The thing about cheating is that it’s when you go out of your way to do something with someone else when you know it would hurt your current partner. It’s something that happens when you aren’t happy in your relationship, and in a lot of cases it can be a cry for help. It is hurtful and a sign that a relationship isn’t meant to be, but cheaters shouldn’t always be villainized.

55: Are you mean?

I can be, but I try not to.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

None, lol

57: Do you believe in true love?

Not really. There are so many people that we have things in common with or who exist on the same wavelength. We might find someone that makes us happy for a long while, but nothing is permanent.

58: Favourite weather?

I love hot, sunny days when you can leave windows open, wear shorts, and only drink things with ice. 

59: Do you like the snow?

I lived in Alaska for over nine years before moving to the Sonoran desert. I moved to Northern Arizona for school, and when I saw snow again, it was as an adult who only saw the negative aspects of it. I hate being cold.

60: Do you wanna get married?

I don’t see myself ever being married. I would have to really love someone if I were to actually settle down and start a life with them. Right now I really only see it as something that would tie me down.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

I honestly hate baby as a pet name. It freaks me out. The only pet names I find cute are the unusual ones, like once when an ex accidentally called me cornbread.

62: What makes you happy?

Getting my nails done, binging my favorite show (Archer), travel, doggos, wandering around in stores with my music blasting so I can feel like I’m somewhere away from my problems, seeing people impressed with food I made, completing a project and being proud of my work, etc.

63: Would you change your name?

I hate my birth name, but I’m also afraid I’ve been conditioned to feel that way by my grandparents as a way to attack my bio mom. Because of that, I’ve been going by my middle name and various nicknames. Most people close to me call me Abby, but my favorite thing is to be called Lynn. I’m pretty hesitant to legally change it though.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Yeah, the last person I kissed kinda sexually assaulted me, and I’d like to avoid that.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Reject them as nicely as possible. Dating would be bad for me right now, and I’m pretty sure I’m not sexually attracted to men.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

I don’t think I have a best friend, period. I don’t think I’m entirely myself around anyone through. Different people will bring out different parts of my personality.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Not sure tbh. 

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My aunt. The conversation we had about my life at school was pretty emotional.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

No, for the same reason I don’t believe in true love. Life is too impermanent for there to be someone our soul fits with perfectly. There is too much change for something to be predetermined like that. 

70: Is there anyone you would die for? 

Anyone who has ever been somewhat nice too me. Honestly though I would be willing to die for a lot of people. The thought of anyone else having to suffer really sucks and if I can save them from that, I would.

[survivorwakea]

Episode 8: “from now on i’m doing whatever the fuck I want.” - Asya

kind of a good thing i didnt vote this round because people dont know where i stand in everything

it seems to be facebook vs tumblr but fuck that bc i genuinely dont trust most of the tumblr people and id hope that if i jump on the facebook train that they'll take me into their community AND into their alliance if i become sheepy enough and stop socializing with people so i seem like an ftc goat. lets see what happens :)

I JUST WANNA REALLY QUICKLY RIGHT NOW APOLOGISE TO ELMO FOR THE LONG ASS CONFESSIONAL I MADE A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN I DOUBTED HIM. I WAS VERY VERY PARANOID AND THOUGHT LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THIS GAME WAS GONNA BE AGAINST ME AND I THOUGHT ELMO WAS PROBABLY GONNA BE IN THERE AS WELL JUST TO BE PETTY BECAUSE IM A DUMB BITCH OKAY I FEEL REALLY FUCKING BAD ABOUT IT ELMO PLEASE DO NOT HATE ME I ADORE U SO SO MUCH OH MY GOD

i’m like genuinely irritated lmao like i can’t even talk to these people i’m so mad.

i felt so bad lying to chloe and writing her name down when i genuinely just wanted to work with her in the merge. and these fucking Freaks were so sure that lily and anabel would vote her and it would be fine so i said okay. then what happened? one of those two flipped. i should’ve voted lily last night just to send a message. from now on i’m doing whatever the fuck i want cause fuck these people

Omgggggggg. I’m livinggggggggg. After completely flopping the last round I’m just so happy that I know That I’m safe. I’m trying to figure out how to navigate the rest of the game and I think it’s about damn time that I get an alliance going. Or at least have myself talk with everyone and make sure we can agree on a vote because if I’m in the minority again and either Johnny or Jared go home I’m a goner. I’m really hoping I can find a way to work with Elmo and Ben for the rest of the game as well. I think if I could be in an alliance with all of them I may just be able to make it far in this game. Also Chloe I’m sorry for voting for you last round. It’s honestly because of how iconic you are and I hope you can forgive me Queen.

WHEW what a night this has been. Ben decides to make an alliance chat with me, Elmo, Zack and Justin. Okay sure I guess this is happening now. We all be sharing idol guesses with him as well. It's called Anabel's angels, which is kinda funny since she's not in it but apparently Ben does not trust her to not leak it. I also had Jared speak to me and say he wont come for me this round if I don't go for him, I mean sure, I wasn't gonna go for you yet anyway so if this helps to take the target off me for once then fine. But he also mentioned that he spoke to Ben who said he wanted to work with me, which led Jared to say he would be open to as well. It leaves me questioning the bond between Jared and Ben. Not something I'm going to freak about just yet, but will be kept in mind. And I also had a chat with Zack about how I feel I'm being overshadowed a bit right now and a bit stuck. Justin is definitely in a power position right now and I think he knows, everyone sort of knows it, just no one from the alliance really wants to say it out of fear that he will then target him. I do think Justin needs to go soon, he's far too much of a threat the closer the end gets and I feel he definitely will be one of the first to at least attempt to make a move. I feel my first move should be to turn on Justin and if I pitch myself right I really think I could get it to work. Shame though because as a person I adore him, I just don't want him to start running this show too much and then be left scrambling to try to get him out near the end. To finish it all off, Lily has messaged me and said she wants to work with me this round after being totally inactive today. She gave a not fantastic apology compared to the others and did not give me a single reason as to why she voted me. Asya, yet to message me. @ both of them ~ hit the bricks bitch.

I wanna say that I'm really glad for Elmo, Zack and Ben and the fact I know them all. I had a not fantastic time today but tonight we called nd played some roblox, or at least I listened to them because my roblox wouldn't connect. I had so much fun and I feel it did bring us closer as a group and it was something I really needed. So ya I love these guys so so much, they deserve the world and I hope we have more roblox calls to come <3 <3 <3

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week8/s-0GitL

honestly feeling like my number is up. i don’t know i just have that icky feeling that i’m joining joey tonight.

i threw around the idea of throwing johnny utb to save my own skin, since he was very Loud last round abt his legacy advantage (which i’m starting to think he didn’t? actually? play? idk i wasn’t at tribal but i watched part of it and i don’t think there was any indication that he played the advantage) but idk how to feel about that. like if i did it would purely be out of self preservation, and not with the hope that he’d will me the advantage he may or may not have faked playing the other night. but anyways i don’t see myself lasting long regardless with the way things are. in a more fluid merge i’d be less worried, but i feel like there are capital s Sides and i’m on the wrong one

and chloe will have definitely told her allies i’m a lying rat by now. i wish i could talk to her but i’m Baby and if anyone is just a little bit mean to me right now i will legit burst into tears

my people still don’t have a name and honestly i don’t have one to throw out. the last time i did i was wholly ignored and it blew up in our faces. now that person has immunity and we don’t have the numbers. i don’t know i cant think about this anymore or i’m gonna concuss myself

"Hey Elmo? wanna vote Bodhi?"

"Not yet"

Oh we doing this again. I see you.

ugh. it's getting to the point where i literally can't deal with these people anymore. even the people i'm working with are getting on my damn near last nerve. the only person i've talked to about how i'm genuinely feeling, is chloe. i can't tell elmo and justin how i'm feeling because it's clear as day at how close they are and it's even more clear about how close they are with people outside of our alliance. and i'm glad when i talked to chloe, she felt the same way. everyone we're aligned with are so vocal and want to be in power so it's gonna clash soon i feel like. i don't want elmo and justin to think they're controlling everything and think i'm gonna just be in the background. i will be in the background for this vote though because it seems like justin is the one being in everyone's pm's trying to figure out how they're voting. and hopefully i'm not the only one who see's that and people start to realize how power hungry he really is. so i'll let him do all that right now and let him pick this vote and then when the time comes, people can think he was running it all and if it needs to be done, i'll drop hints here and there about it. i can't help but feel some typa way because i'm seeing it all with my own eyes and i don't think i'm over thinking it. elmo is close with jared and probably has multiple side deals. elmo and justin are closer then they're putting off. justin and johnny are close and justin seems to be trying to talk to everyone so.. all i know is, i need to start making side deals and talking to a lot of other people, and chloe agrees she's gonna do the same. so after this round, i think we're gonna try and get 2 step aheads and start focusing on the future of this game so we can try and have one over on them.. because i know this isn't gonna last.

haha so remember when i lied to jared and bodhi and asya and lily and voted joey out.. well.. perhaps i am now lying to elmo and ben and justin and zack and chloe and voting justin

________________________________________________________________

why am i LYING so much in this game. is it impossible for me to just. be HONEST. apparently it is bc there’s not one person ive been completely honest w... even johnny..... oopsies!!!!!

sorry this is a short one but everyone has agreed on asya but im almost like sure that its a fake plan and im NOT SURE IF I SHOULD PLAY MY IDOL OR NOT BECAUSE IM SO WORRIED HISDFHISDF BUT I DONT WANNA MISPLAY IT? I ALSO DONT THINK THEY SHOULD BE COMING FOR ME...

god im nervous jsdfoij

This is a last minute confessional im legit at tribal rn I think im going home. it was too quiet all day and I dislike what Bodhi has just said. I feel uncomfortable and sick. If I go home then I go home but I will be a bitter jury member.

this vote was going to be ben, but i tried to get it to split. ive workede pretty hard at this and maybe it’ll work.

________________________________________________________________

Justin is voted out 7-4. He becomes the second member of the jury.