#anya you deserved the world

[0hitsjustkat]

dead pixel

[stari-hun]

The tag line Take Responsibility as something almost exclusively used towards men in relation to pregnancy followed by Jimmy never once acknowledging that Anya was even pregnant. In his own perspective and delusions the only time he fully focuses on anything to do with Anya and the child is with visceral rage and hatred towards him, something Anya didn’t show herself even once. She was scared and uncomfortable with him, she knew everything he was capable of and he did that and worse, but even at her worst she would never hurt someone. Anya on her worst days is still her, scared and apprehensive most of the time, Anya on her worst days isn’t even close to Jimmy’s best. Jimmy’s delusions that Anya was someone who just wanted to hurt him in retaliation for what he did is in the same line as him believing Curly would blindly sacrifice and forgive him for any and all of his actions.

[cervicrazed]

Replayed Mouthwashing and apparently I was wrong before [SPOILERS BELOW]

After Anya's 'Judgement' level (where Jimmy only sees the nightmare concept of her pregnancy - his "mistake" as he framed it to the 'Judgement' Curly the scene before), I originally figured the only time he bothered to think of Anya as a person was the floating employee ID cards so I decided to take a closer look

ONLY Daisuke, Swansea, and Jimmy's cards are visible - Anya's is there, but her face and name are covered by none other than fucking Jimmy's ID. Even in his Nightmare Hell he still refuses to acknowledge her ((Even the nightmare concept of the unborn baby was a Polle-pede! He couldn't even imagine a hypothetical human baby bc it would have resembled her in some facet))

The only person who gets an apology from Jimmy is Curly (not even Daisuke!! Jimmy was horrified that he got hurt but did not apologize for pressuring/ordering him up into that death trap in the first place!!) It got to the point where even Polle had to call him out after his ""apology"" - "Wait a minute! Hold up! If all of that is true, why are you still concerned with him?"

This whole time he'd figured the worst thing he'd done was crash the ship only because of what happened Curly. Even in the end he couldn't take responsibility for what he did to Anya.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Night terrors

Anya x Reader

Can be read as platonic because we all want to take care of her like we wish someone would for us

AN: As a victim of sexual assault I feel it is important to have a realistic fluff story about the aftermath of it. How it affects the person after it’s been done and how the trauma lingers. How it’s so very important for the person to have a support network. YOU will be her support network. Thank you

Also not to get political but god women in the USA are experiencing a massive increase of assaults so call this projection, or call this training for the inevitable

SUM: Despite surviving that Tulpar adventure, despite all the good karma thrown back at you all, there are just too many many scars to truly recover from

Warnings: Past sexual assault, nightmares, PTSD, whump, abortion, paranoia, it’s gonna be a stressful read, there will be fluff don’t worry, paranoia, inspired/based on my own experiences

“STOP-!”

Anya was screaming in her sleep again.

Woke you up pretty quickly, as you were sharing a bed with her. She was rather scared to sleep alone. Afraid that someone will just break in and take advantage of her. That somehow Jimmy, who long since was dead, will break in again.

“Anya-! Anya wake up! It’s me! Anya-!” You would shake her and try to get her to wake up. To get her out of that terrifying cloud of memories. Her poor face was pale and full of sweat, and she was scared awake by you shaking her. For a fleeting moment she thought it was Jimmy.

As she gave another cry, you reached over and turned on the bedside tables lamp.

She saw your face, and finally took a breathe.

You two weren’t on the Tulpar anymore. Jimmy wasn’t going to hurt either of you ever again. Swansea was home with his wife. Daisuke was home with his mother and father. And she was here with you.

She was alive.

“I….Im sorry-“ Anya sniffled, as you just pulled her into your arms. Gentle with combing your fingers through her hair. Just gentle reminders to not be sorry. To not be sorry for being justified with her fear.

“He won’t ever get you again. I promise.” You would remind her, but she would still tremble.

“Can we check the locks again?” She would ask you, and you would nod. Often times this was the case. No matter how many times she would ask you that question you never got annoyed. It’s good to check the locks anyway. Gotta stay safe after all.

You would both climb out of bed, put on your robes, and go walking around the home. One of your hands was left to be held by Anya’s, as the other would be used to check the locks on everything. From the multiple at front door, from each window, to that of the back door. Each one checked, as Anya would hug at you close.

Was a very nice home, you had to admit. After having rescue finally called, and being saved, the media went nuts. Especially on the fact Curly was still alive. Gave Anya the much needed support to show she was very worthy of a position as a proper doctor. That also meant she got herself quite the hefty salary. Also helps that she now had partial royalties to the book she helped write about the adventure on the ship.

“Every lock is secure.” You explained, as she gave still an anxious look.

“Let’s check each room, and closet. Yeah?” That made her quickly nod.

Now you two were roaming the entire house now. Checking under furniture, in closets, all the nine yards. No stone was left un-turned. You would do it a million times for her. She deserved to have some kind of relief from it all.

“There we go. No Jimmy.” You would give her a hug, and she hugged you back. Still shaken, but at least she was breathing more steady.

The two of you would return to the bedroom, where she did her routine. Checking under her pillow for her sheathed knife, the bedside for her baseball bat, the drawer for her gun, and to take an extra pill to help with the anxiety burst she was having. Her routine.

She would try and lay down, only to dart her head towards the bedroom door. Eyes wide with raw and pure fear.

“I swear I heard him at the door. I swear I did. He said my name he said my name-“ She whimpered, as you would get up. You opened the door, looked around the hallway, and returned.

“Don’t worry Anya. I didn’t hear a single thing.” You reassured, as you would lock the bedroom door for her. Along with putting a chair under the door handle. Even went as far as to double check the bedroom windows, and closed the curtains.

“I’m so sorry-“ She would begin again, as her eyes watered. She felt like such a burden. To have all this fear and paranoia. To the point she couldn’t feel safe when left alone. You couldn’t blame her though. The wounds were still so horribly fresh. Not to mention sometimes PTSD can kick in so many years later. You’ll take the morbid comfort in having it kick in now where you all can handle it now and prepare for the future than suddenly out of nowhere in God knows how long.

It is what it is.

She wasn’t the only one traumatized after all, and she shouldn’t need to apologize for justified fear.

You would pull her back into your arms, and you both laid down. You would turn on the white noise machine for her, to help block the paranoid sounds of voices and scratches from the doors, and would just talk with her. Talk until her medication kicked in to help her sleep.

Didn’t matter what it was. It was just noise to keep her mind distracted.

You wondered how the rest of the crew was doing. How they were dealing with it.

They all had family, so maybe they were doing well. Really should meet up again soon. Can’t be blamed life is so busy.

Curly was back living with his parents and siblings, which they welcomed with open arms. Even his friends before the crew were willing to all share a space to help.

Swansea had his wife and even his kids. Sure he says he’s too old to be traumatized but he keeps checking on his kids way more often now. That’s for sure.

God knows when poor Daisuke’s PTSD will kick in. He may be acting fine now but it’s gonna be a ticking time bomb. It’ll come at him sooner or later. For now his parents were feeling like monsters for pressuring him into that intern ship. He never blamed them, of course. He is even still working under a mentorship with Swansea even. Guess not everything was negative.

Then there was you and Anya. She was the most traumatized of all. There was even the trauma of an abortion. There’s still so many emotions with that as well, but you held her hand through it. Even as far as to move in with her to help. You two had always been very close. Even before joining the crew. You two were always tagged together. Even nicked named her assistant to a point.

You’ll stick with her through the ends of the earth.

“Wanna go visit Curly in the morning? It’ll be Saturday. Maybe we can even invite Swansea and Daisuke.” You offered. Just something positive to look forward to. Something worth waiting for.

“That would be nice.” She muttered, as her own paranoias exhaustion was kicking in. Too tired to even be afraid. Often times how it ends. She gets herself so worked up it ends up being the very same thing that makes her fall back asleep.

“Yeah. We can check out his new prosthetics. Daisuke said he even bought stickers specifically for them.” That had Anya smile. That sweet smile that was hard to come by right now. One that was filled with comfort. Comfort of such an innocent and sweet thought.

“Swansea says he’s also going to attach his own upgrades to it. Not sure how that will work, or what the hell he’s planning, but not gonna lie I need to see if he gives him rocket boosters.”

That got a little laugh from her. The both of you imagining poor Captain Curly flying around in the sky, as Daisuke runs around with some trampoline to try and catch him on.

Just something silly to cut through it all.

Seemed to work, as you could feel her breathing easier now. Her breath not so intense. Was far more steady, and you could tell she fell back asleep. You were thankful for it. Not because she was annoying you. No. Never. But because she needed her rest. She deserves it. She already is working long hours at the hospital, which you bet is because she is trying to avoid being isolated and alone at all cost maybe even reduce sleeping to, so she needed proper sleep more than ever.

And you’ll do your best for her. To help her with it all. You were her little assistant. You’ll do what an assistant does best. Make sure your boss is able to tackle projects easier.

And this project was healing. A project that won’t ever end, will have ups and downs, and be taxing. Over time out the ass and no vacations.

And you know what you say to that?

Bring it.

Thank you so much for reading. This was a more vulnerable piece because Anya really reminded me so much of myself. How I’m suppose to take care of everyone else, while my traumatic abuse is just swept under the rug.

Since you read all the way to the end, maybe take a look at this

National Sexual Assault Hotline:

1-800-656-4673

National Domestic Violence Hotline:

800-799-7233

RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network)

1-800-656-4673

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

You deserve love and support. What happened wasn’t your fault in the slightest. Not even for a single second. You deserve happiness, hope, and to live a long and healthy life. Everything will be ok again. Doesn’t seem like it now, but it will. I promise

[watermel0ns-dumb-cringe]

Oh Anya they could never make me hate you ☹️ughshjj bawls

[noperopesaredope]

Me: Ooooo, I wonder what this "Mouthwashing" thing is that everyone's been obsessed with lately. I should check some of it out.

Me, 30 minutes later: I would kill myself for you, Anya.

[juicyjuic3]

i hope this hurts

i watched kubz scouts play mouthwashing and oh my fucking god 😭😭

that game absolutely broke me

but like not in a bad way the story is amazing but so sad 😔

i love anya and daisuke I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY 😭🙏

fuck you jimmy

this is a universe where jimmy didn’t exist okay EVERYONES HAPPY

ANYA IS SAFE NOTHING HAPPENS TO HER DAISUKE IS FINE

i’m going through the 7 stages of grief rn

stage 1 - denial 😔😔

also i found out anya’s favorite pokemon is glaceon 🥺 I LOVE HER 😭😭😭

[junimoonyart]

yeah this game has me in a headlock

[luvevee]

Getting into Mouthwashing is awesome until you wanna autistic babble to others about it only to realize most of the convos discussing the game are 95% about Jimmy and nobody else, please I want variety

[balmungkriemhild]

Happy Halloweenie i drew Anya in a nurse costume because i've been obsessed with her these last few days (and chibis of the others too i guess)

(consider reblogging & donating to my Ko-fi, thank you!)

[0hitsjustkat]

“in the back of my mind, it’s always there.”

[onceazzie]

"why are you writing fanfic for that fandom you havent even been in" IDC. ive read enough tumblr essays i know these people almost as intimately as the ones i knew before. anyway anya mouthwashing centric appreciation fic be upon ye

[hypertranced]

i can't think about anya mouthwashing for too long. I get so upset and angry for her that I need to physically calm myself down

[greghatecrimes]

hi sorry i just spent like an hour and a half making metas and analyzing this hate crime show (specifically character arcs in season four) and now i'm emotional

[mothmothwoth]

I uhh just watched a walkthrough of Mouthwash…. “I hope this hurts you” and IT SURE FUCKING DID!!! Anya…. Anya I’m so sorry….. Anya you deserve so much…… fuccckkkkkkkkkkkkk

[girlcockholmes]

for my beloved followers still working on buffy dont read. god i just need to talk about it because its tearing me up