#any typos or tense issues should also be pointed out

[doonarose]

Fic dump. Rated M (I think, correct me?). Really dumb fluffy thing that entered my brain two hours ago because of all the tomfoolery/hanky panky/monkey business discourse on my dash. And then I wrote it and that's my last two hours.

*****

Crowley reckoned that saving the world (again) had been rather a good thing. Getting Aziraphale back from heaven having finally seen the light (insofar as discovering various shades of grey, seeing reason and subsequently pushing the Metatron into a lake, at least) had been very good indeed. And coming to realize that Aziraphale actually, really, very much did want to kiss him had been wonderful, if a little awkward and also quite over-whelming.

Things had progressed from there and that was all rather glorious. Long, languorous afternoons in bed together, exploring comfort and pleasure and intimacy they could scarcely believe they’d managed to go without for over six millennia. And then that gave way to several frantic, frenetic shags around the bookshop, invariably punctuated by laughter and embarrassingly vulnerable and high-pitched sounds.

Crowley quite enjoyed seducing Aziraphale, but he didn’t want to be pushy about it and so after pouncing on him mid-breakfast – resulting in spilt tea and the discovery of twin ticklish spots behind Aziraphale’s knees – Crowley decided to wait him out for the next round.

He didn’t have to wait long because the very next evening, Aziraphale was overly fidgety. He opened and closed three different books without ever reading a page and then stood up quite loudly to ask, “Shall we retire upstairs for some tomfoolery?”

Crowley’s face shifted automatically into a sneer which then tumbled into a grimace as his shoulders tightened with concern that Aziraphale would take his revulsion that wrong way. Crowley was very quick to say, “Don’t call it that.”

Aziraphale seemed entirely unaffected, supremely confident in Crowley’s acquiescence, and was already on his way up the stairs. “I think it’s a rather lovely euphemism.”

Crowley was already trailing him obediently. “’s not. No room for you, me and Tom in the bed, certainly nothing foolish.”

Aziraphale was pushing open the bedroom door and shrugging his jacket off, his eyes bright as he rather deliberately tried to annoy Crowley. “You know it’s meant to be derived from a Tom who was, indeed, either very foolish, or made others do foolish things.”

“See, nothing to do with sex.”

Aziraphale pulled a face and looked ready to argue. Crowley shut him up the very best way he could think of.

*****

Nina held on to their takeaway cups for a beat too long and fixed Crowley with a cocked head and a raised eyebrow. “You two have been very holed up over there since you got back from wherever it was you went,” she remarked without handing over the beverages.

Crowley seethed silently and pulled his top lip back to bare some teeth. Aziraphale waited for a question.

“Lots of times I’ve walked past and it looks like you’re in, but the shop is closed. I mean, much more than it used to be.”

She handed over Aziraphale’s medium tea but, without any good reason, held onto Crowley’s four shots of espresso in a cup (he was cutting back).

“Not getting into any sort of trouble we should know about?” she finally asked.

Crowley still wasn’t sure how much she remembered of demons and angels, but clearly enough to have her a little worried. Or perhaps she was just being nosey.

Aziraphale smiled beatifically. “Oh, certainly not, my dear, nothing for you to worry about.” He did one of his bursting-with-excitement whole-body shimmies and Crowley’s embarrassment for him and for how ludicrously affectionate it made him feel turned the tips of his ears bright red. “Just spending some quality time together,” Aziraphale continued without any pretence whatsoever. Crowley discovered new depths to the embarrassment he could feel and to how deep underground he suddenly wanted to burrow. Nina hadn’t even so much as glanced at Aziraphale, instead she just stared down Crowley’s ever-growing grimace and red ears.

Aziraphale wasn’t done. “Discovering all sorts of shenanigans we can get up to,” he said, leaving absolutely no allusions as to what he euphemistically meant.

Nina grinned and Crowley bit out, “Don’t,” which may have been aimed at either or both of them. Beside him Aziraphale bounced on his feet and across the counter, Nina looked like she was thinking of a follow-up question. “Don’t,” he said again, warningly and reached for his coffee with urgently grabbing fingers.

Nina relented and handed it over so Crowley could take Aziraphale by the elbow and start pushing him towards the door. “Don’t tell people we’re discovering shenanigans,” he growled into Aziraphale’s ear.

Aziraphale just wriggled like he was enjoying himself. This only made Crowley smile which he really didn’t want to be doing now. They had to side-step a gaggle of schoolgirls pouring through the door.

“Well, I couldn’t very well tell her we were… you know,” Aziraphale kept his voice low and Crowley bit back another smile to see the rose in his cheeks.

“Could tell them nothing,” Crowley explained, holding the door open and gently guiding Aziraphale through it. Of course, they were met by Maggie, on her way in, smiling, as always.

Behind them, Nina called out, loud enough for half the street to hear and in such a tone that probably half the street would immediately know exactly what type of shenanigans Crowley and Aziraphale were up to. “Good for you boys, about time.”

Maggie’s eyebrows shot up in understanding, a couple of the schoolgirls giggled, and Crowley just continued to push Aziraphale out the door as he gave up the fight and called back over his shoulder, “It is and we’re not!”

*****

“Were you up for a little monkey business tonight, dear?”

Crowley covered his entire face with both hands and leaned both elbows heavily on the table. Aziraphale had to be deliberately doing this, otherwise there was no hope for them. The sex the day before had been rather good, it was a shame it would be their last time, but Crowley really couldn’t go on with things like this.

Peeking out from between his fingers, through the dark shades he only ever wore in public, Aziraphale’s tight-lipped smile and squared shoulders confirmed he was teasing. Crowley dragged his hands down his cheeks, pulling at the skin and trying to rub some of the heat out of them. “Why must you vex me on purpose, angel?”

“I thought you might like to engage in a little amorous congress?”

“That one’s not even a euphemism, just sounds awful.”

“How about bumping uglies?”

Crowley reeled at that, casting himself right back in his seat and released a guffaw that drew a couple of glances from fellow dinners.

Aziraphale beamed at him.

Leaning back in close and contemplating a little demonic intervention to at least keep wandering eyes and ears away, Crowley hissed, “Just call it sex, angel.”

Aziraphale pretended to think on that, pressing another mouthful clearly worthy of its own moan of appreciation into his mouth. It would have been lucky if the terrible euphemisms balanced out the obscene noises he made when he ate, but unfortunately, at no point had Aziraphale’s language actually put Crowley off even a little bit, and, to date, there wasn’t a single shared meal that Crowley could recall that hadn’t turned him on quite a lot.

“It isn’t just sex though, is it?” Aziraphale eventually decided.

Crowley arched an eyebrow and resisted the urge to reach forward and run his fingers over the back of Aziraphale’s hand. They didn’t do that, not in public, not yet. “’s not?”

“No,” Aziraphale said. “What we’re really doing, my dear, is making love.”

Aziraphale’s eyes sparkled and he took another bite and Crowley groaned and leaned back in his chair once more. “Good fucking grief,” was all he could say (mostly because – and he’d never, ever, admit this to anyone – he entirely agreed, and hearing Aziraphale say it was actually kind of thrilling).

“But back to the point, were we intending on making whoopee this evening?”

“Angel, if you discorporate me with your dreadful language, there won’t be any whoopee for quite a while.” Aziraphale ignored him and just took another mouthful of his meal. Reluctantly, begrudgingly, Crowley answered: “But yes,” and then he bent right forward at the hips, across the table, as close as he could get, voice dropped low and rough and secret, as he tried something new and daring, and in his own way, rather vulnerable. “Yes, I would rather like to fuck you tonight. Ideally until you’ve lost the ability to speak.”

Even if Aziraphale couldn’t quite bring himself to say any such thing, Crowley was increasingly aware that he rather liked to hear it. In private at least. And at that moment, at their usual table at the Ritz, in the privacy of their heads bowed together, Crowley saw straight away that it was making the angel’s breath catch and his pulse speed up.

A small victory, then.

Aziraphale took another slow mouthful and Crowley slipped back into his seat to watch with his chin perched on his hand, his elbow on the table.

“Very good, then,” Aziraphale said, still satisfyingly breathless. He laid his knife and fork down on the plate. “I was enquiring as I thought, with that being the case, we could perhaps get dessert to go?”

“Sounds perfect, angel.”

“Since you’ve so gallantly promised to butter my crumpet.”

Aziraphale wriggled with his enjoyment at the way Crowley’s face crumpled.

“That doesn’t even make any sense,” Crowley griped and then simply followed up with, “I despise you.”

“You don’t,” Aziraphale replied, singsong and knowing.

*****

Crowley was in a ridiculously good mood. But he wasn’t thinking about it too much, lest he scare it off. It probably had a lot to do with Aziraphale, and it was probably rather unbecoming on his moody, sharp, dark frame.

Just the other day, Aziraphale had prodded him into bringing all his plants into the bookshop to find permanent spots for them; then he had taken him shopping to buy quite a few more. The day after that, Aziraphale had not only allowed Crowley to wedge a rather large flatscreen TV up against the wall in the spare bedroom, but had then snuggled up between his legs on the single bed and managed to watch all of Pride and Prejudice with only a handful of interjections about deviations from the book (Crowley had no idea if it would be a mistake to press the 1995 mini-series on him next).

And then Aziraphale had spent two hours this morning bent over his desk next to a mysterious man with a thick accent, ooohing and ahhhing at a simply sublime set of books they were on offer for purchase. He’d made a big show of asking Crowley if he thought the price was fair and Crowley had followed the prepared script and helped him haggle another ten percent off the first editions he’d selected. Why that particular interaction made Crowley extraordinarily happy was not something he was ready to contemplate.

All of this was to say that it wasn’t his fault what happened when he got bored of the book he’d been trying to read (Aziraphale had insisted he at least try reading novels) and slinked up the stairs to search out Aziraphale.

He found him sitting in the center of the four-poster bed in their bedroom (that was still unofficial, that it was theirs, but it was), his back against the pillows fluffed up on the headboard, ankles crossed with only thick woollen socks covering his feet. His waistcoat was all the way undone, as was his bowtie and top buttons. His shirt sleeves were folded back to the elbows and his wire-framed reading glasses were perched on his nose as his brow creased with concentration. Intermittently, he scribbled into a notebook propped open against his thigh and turned the pages of a stapled photocopy of some ancient text back and forth with his other hand.

Like this, especially before he even noticed Crowley lurking in the doorway, Aziraphale was devastatingly handsome. And rather likely to be Crowley’s undoing, he thought, still very happily.

He moved into the room and Aziraphale glanced up, casting him a smile as he continued to scribble.

Crowley rounded the bed and considered his options, although really there was just one: slip onto the mattress, beneath the sheets, and have his way with this perfect, delicious, delectable angel, precisely as lazy Tuesday afternoons and high thread count bedding were designed for. And if Aziraphale wanted to make him wait, to keep working, or even just to tease him, then he would wait. What else was there to do?

“Are you wearing sock garters again”? Crowley asked, trying very hard to sound unimpressed when really he was the opposite and already delighted at the thought of the extra touches and movements required to unclip and slide them down Aziraphale’s warm calves. The fact that Aziraphale must be the only man left on the planet that bothered with them was also infuriatingly endearing, in much the same way most of his endearing qualities infuriated Crowley.

“I am,” Aziraphale responded without looking up. “I’m afraid these socks require them and these are my most comfortable lounging socks.”

“Nobody has lounging socks, angel.”

Crowley knelt onto the mattress beside Aziraphale’s feet and Aziraphale finally looked up at him. “Did you want to take them off?” he asked, holding far too much control and expectation in his voice. Crowley rather liked that, too.

“If you want me to?” Crowley slipped one hand up Aziraphale’s right trouser-leg, over the warm scratchy wool to the skin between it and the smooth elastic material of the garter itself. He stroked his fingers back and forth.

“Are you trying to tempt me away from my work?” Aziraphale asked.

“Well, I mean, ‘s my job, isn’t it?”

Aziraphale lips quirked up. “Trying to entice me into a little afternoon delight”?

Crowley didn’t entirely hate that one, or perhaps Aziraphale really had started to wear him down. And he was so very, very happy that afternoon, for whatever reason, deliriously so, which was the only explanation for why he next said: “A little hanky panky never hurt anyone.”

Aziraphale snorted and Crowley felt the euphemism trip dirtily off his tongue as though it was a proper blaspheme and as though blasphemy was a real thing. He tried to swallow it back down and spit it out at the same time, like it tasted truly awful and should never have been uttered, but it was all too late.  He opened his mouth with a flinch, rolling his tongue and pulling a disgusted face that just made Aziraphale laugh.

“Shut up,” he said without venom and very quickly stripped Aziraphale’s right calf of sock and garter, scratching his nails through the hair across his shin as he did.

“Say it again and I’ll let you take my trousers off,” Aziraphale teased.

“Didn’t say anything,” Crowley grumbled, slipping his hands up the left trouser leg.

“What don’t you just ask me for a roll in the hay?”

Crowley said nothing but stripped the second sock and garter off, taking a moment to give Aziraphale’s naked foot a good, tight squeeze. Foot-rubs were a thing they did now, although Crowley was still making his mind up whether he preferred to give or to receive.

“Knocking boots?” Aziraphale tried. “The horizontal tango? A rendezvous beneath the sheets? What about making sweet, sweet music?” He was failing to keep the laughter out of his voice.

And Crowley was turning red in the face of it, he moved to crawl up the bed and put a stop to what should really be quite an off-putting monologue but Aziraphale stopped him with a foot against his chest.

Which in itself should certainly not have done what it did to Crowley’s stomach.

“Hanky panky,” Aziraphale reminded him.

“Fuck,” Crowley breathed out. “Just fucking call it fucking, angel, you’ll find it freeing.”

Aziraphale did not look convinced but he also didn’t look like he didn’t quite enjoy Crowley’s dirty mouth. He’d admitted as much a couple of times by now, only ever in the dark, and only ever in between blissful, euphoric little moans.

Aziraphale let his foot drop back to the bed, moving his leg up and wide, inviting Crowley in. He seemed to search for a middle ground, “Fancy a shag?” he tried.

“What about a screw?” Crowley wasted no more time and crawled up the bed, slotting into place over and against him easily.

“You really are ridiculous,” Aziraphale told him.

“You are.”

#####

The war of the euphemisms waged for months. Aziraphale cheated by ordering in an entire book dedicated to the topic and once Crowley discovered this, there were moments in which he genuinely wondered when it would truly start to annoy him. Except it never did. There were many more moments where it served as a gateway to dalliances – to fucking, to, satan help him, making love – and, importantly, to talking about it. They got tremendously good at it, rather fast, as they very much deserved.  

And in the end, Crowley had to admit, it was all worth it: the red-tipped ears and the giggles of Nina and Maggie, the way his whole body recoiled every time he heard Aziraphale’s latest bad euphemism, and his tongue tasted like cabbage every time he was tricked or enticed into uttering one of his own. And it was especially worth it for the moment when Aziraphale seemed to finally tire of the game, or perhaps, there was just something in the air.

Aziraphale sidled right up behind him, never one to be quiet about such things, and rested his hands on Crowley’s hips from behind. He hooked his chin over Crowley’s shoulder and Crowley learned back into the embrace automatically, entirely ready for whatever romantic, archaic, trivial thing Aziraphale felt the need to tell him.

Instead, Aziraphale whispered, hot breathed into his ear, “Darling, would you like to come upstairs and fuck me?” and that broke Crowley for quite a long while.

[just-some-random-blogger]

An angst where Dream and Y/N are expecting a baby, Dream misses the birth of the child because he was helping Calliope

First Love

Dream of the Endless x Reader

Summary: You saw the ask. Girl, what the fuck, why the fuck would dream do that to his fucking baby mama? -sincerely, me.

Word Count: 1k+

Warning: Mentions of pregnancy/birth pains/postpartum depression, fem!reader, established relationship, angst, clown shit, typos, etc.

A/N: I'm gonna say it anon, you got issues. i stared at this ask and wondered what i could possibly write for this. at some point i asked myself if i could even write it. here's your answer. suffer... ig... idk angst does not flow naturally from me lol [I JUST FINISHED WRITING IT HAHAHHAH SUFFER] i guess this goes out to all the mothers; idk if mothers read my fics but i see you and i salute you for going through birthing and/or raising children. i hope if you can relate to what reader is going through, you seek help. you aren't crazy. you just had a life altering thing happen to you. you deserve sanctuary. ALSO DO YOU SEE HOW SOFT THEY ARE IN THIS GIF WHAT THE FUCK WHY AM I WRITING THIS? I WISH I WERE CALLIOPE IN IT PLEASEEEEEEEE

He had been caressing my bump when he pulled away and looked afar. I asked him what was wrong. Dream told me she was in trouble. She was calling for him.

"Who's she?"

"Calliope."

Calliope. The muse. The beauty. The one he loved before me.

"Then you should go to her," I mutter under my breath, stoic, as I rub my belly.

"But you are due to give birth soon," his face tenses in concern.

I relax when he places his hand atop of mine and pulls me against him.

"Then don't go to her."

I feel him tense against me. My mouth goes dry.

I pull away from him and see his glassy blue eyes. I feel like retching. I suck in a deep breath and reach out to his cheek, "you are a king, and you said she was in trouble."

Dream's brows furrow.

"You know what it's like to be in trouble and helpless... I am sure she would not call to you if she was not desperate."

I do not know if I say this to soothe him or myself.

But it was apparently enough to convince him.

He grabs my face and kisses my forehead, "I shan't be a long."

But that was a lie.

One that would mark our end.

It all happened so quickly. It was like he left and then the next thing I knew I was giving birth.

I could do nothing but sink in my pain and heartache as I screamed for his name. I called him, Dream, Morpheus, my king, my lord, my love, but he did not come.

He did not come as I began to deliver our child. He did not come as I lamented over my agony. He did not come to me when the baby made it out to the Dreaming. He did not come to me when I stared at the nursing the creature in my arms.

He did not come to the mother of his child.

But then again I realized, so was she; Calliope also bore him a child.

The only difference between her and me was that when she called for him, he came.

And so, I did not want this... thing in my arms.

I did not want something who looked so much like someone who clearly did not want me.

I counted the moments of his return, every second, every minute, every hour; all I did was stare at the clock on the wall.

Lucienne begged me to eat, to sleep, and to nurse that thing and it was only because she wept on her knees that I even agreed to do any of it.

I did not understand... I thought I was meant to be fiercely protective of this creature I had carried inside me. He was made out of love. I spent days perfecting his room, going through countless books to prepare myself for his arrival, sifting through countless names. I thought I would be overjoyed by him, but I don't think I would even care if Lucienne tires of playing mother and forgets to have me nurse him... not even if he eventually stops crying altogether.

The boy was 'til now even nameless, and I could not care less.

"My love."

My whole world stills when I hear this.

He was here. He was finally here.

My breathing is heavy as I walk over to him. He has a smile on his face and even lifts his arms up for me. I do not fall into his arms.

"You've been gone for two days," I mutter over my heavy breaths.

Dream diminishes the space between us and swipe the tears streaming down my cheeks, "I apologize. I did not ex-"

"I called for you," I blurt, "I called for you for hours during my labor."

"And I heard everyone of them, but I cou-"

"But you stayed with her!" I shove his hands away, "but you did not come to me."

"The circumstances did not allow me to-"

Dream does not get to continue when the thing wails from afar.

Soon enough Lucienne comes to us, much more relieved about the return of her master than I. I feel a bitterness rise up my throat when the cries are quickly silenced when the thing is handed to his father. He seemed to recognize him, just as he was recognized.

Dream was clearly overjoyed by him. It was repulsive.

Lucienne calling my name is what brings her king out of his trance. She continues reluctantly, "he shall need to be nursed soon."

Tears continue to stream my face as Dream finally catches my expression.

"My love, I-"

"Do not call me that."

His face falls. His being darkens. His child begins to wail again because of it. The sound angers me.

Lucienne leans towards Dream and whispers something that makes tears streak his face.

I decide then it was enough.

Now that I had seen him, there was no reason for me to stay. I turn to the ring on my hand, the ring that allowed me to travel from his realm back to the waking world, the ring that reminded me of his broken promise to always be there for me. I rub it, willing it to take me away.

A portal opens.

Dream snatches my hand right after Lucienne gets his child from him. He calls my name, and it makes me recoil. I yank out of his grip and flare.

"I do not want to be anywhere near you or that THING ever again!"

"He is your child," Dream whispers as he reaches out to my face, "born out of our love-"

"But you do not love me!" I quip and shove him away, "you would not abandon someone you love!"

"No one is abandoned."

"YOU CHOSE HER!" I shriek, heaving deeply, more and more annoyed by the continuous cries in the air, "now I'm going to choose me."

"You are... unwell," Dream words carefully as he draws nearer.

"And you are nothing to me!" I spit back.

I watch him fall to his knees.

Lucienne gasps when parts of the hall begin to crumble, "my lord!"

"You were my everything. There was nothing, no one before you," I mutter as I rub the jewel of my ring one last time, "but now you are nothing, no one before me."

I slip my ring off and cast it away just before I disappear from the Dreaming.

[bahoreal]

jay's wee guide to editing fics

by popular demand (five likes on a post i made asking if anyone wants this)

please note this is a loose guide of what works for me and is designed to give newbie fic writers an idea of what purpose an edit has. if you don't vibe with it you don't have to follow it. if you have your own preferences please feel free to add them!

first i should say it is important to do an edit before you post your fic. this can apply to any work of writing (some of the QC details I used a lot in the scientific papers i wrote)

an edit can be generally categorised into one of these: update/style check, QC, consistency check, proofread. this can either be done by you (the writer) or by a beta reader

update/style check: there's probably a better word for this kind of edit but I don't know it. This the most in depth and time consuming method of editing and generally done on first drafts. it is an edit done where you're not happy with the work to be published as-is, where you think parts are missing, parts could be updated, parts might be out of sync or not fit with the flow of the piece. when you're doing an update edit, you should be looking for things like:

- did this feel jarring against the rest of the tone

- did i have to read any of the sentences multiple times to figure out what they meant

- do I have enough elements that reflect the theme i'm trying to build, or was the theme too on the nose?

- are my characters behaving in character

- are there any points where a character knows about something before it has been confirmed in the text - is this intentional, or was it a mistake and the character shouldn't know? This is especially important with longer fics, sometimes the timeline can get messy

note for beta readers/if you are using a beta reader: specify whether this edit is meant to be granular to word choice, or about sentence/paragraphs. I have had beta readers that changed every fifth word I wrote because they thought a different word would fit better (which switched my story to their style, which I didn't actually want), and beta readers who would highlight a sentence or a word and go "this doesn't make sense, consider rephrasing" or a paragraph and go "this felt cut short" o.e. (which was very helpful)

QC: quality check. generally refers to formatting, updating to a style guide, etc. When I am doing a QC I look for things like

- grammar issues (non-intentional)

- typos (non-intentional)

- spelling mistakes (non-intentional)

- language consistency, e.g. going between England English and American English (non-intentional)

- formatting errors (e.g. I tend to add three paragraph breaks between new scenes, and I check that that's consistent throughout)

- tense consistency (switching back and forth between tenses when writing can break the reader out of the immersion, if you're in the present then try to stay in the present unless the character is remembering something. Instead of "She has nothing in the house. She went to the shops.", try and stick to one tense, "She has nothing in the house, so she goes to the shops.")

(- in papers/essays this is also the point where you would fix your referencing)

proofread: a final check done on a final draft that combines the QC and consistency checks. If i've copied to ao3 I tend to do this in the ao3 word editor and make sure all my formatting is in, for example italics, which aren't preserved in the copy/paste into the ao3 editor

consistency check: does what it says on the tin. If there are consistency items you want to keep flowing through your story, such as

- a character calling another character by a certain nickname and then progressing to a different nickname as you move through

- names used in internal monologue are consistent throughout, vs. names other characters use in speech (e.g. I wrote a fic from the perspective of an american, who says "couch", but the english characters say "sofa" aloud.)

- was that character holding a glass? where did it go? were they suddenly on the other side of the room?

- are the times/days correct? was it summer one scene and winter the next? if time is referenced, is it passing appropriately? (also ensuring it's non-intentional, unreliable narrators can switch between times as a stylistic choice)

(- in papers/essays this is also the point where I would make sure my claims are substantiated in the references I have used)

The things to look for are non-exhaustive. In my fics, I tend to do one single edit that combines all of these, or one update/style check and then a proofread if it's a long fic. This is because I don't tend to spend a lot of time on fics. with my original works, I tend to do each check individually, with the update/style check first, then a consistency check, then a QC, then the proofread. 4 drafts (at least, sigh)

A beta reader can help with some of these, especially the consistency check and the update/style check - when you read your own work a lot you do tend to miss things. However I cannot stress enough when you are asking a beta reader to look over your work, set your expectations:

tell them which kind of edit you'd like them to do. If you want a QC and you get back a style check it can feel a little insulting

if you want a more thorough edit like a style check or a consistency check then set expectations for the level of edit. If you want to develop your own style of writing, then specify you don't want your beta reader to be too picky over word choices, only calling out if, e.g. words don't make sense in context. If you want a language check (maybe your first language isn't english and you are worried about writing in english) then ask for more detailed notes on your specific word choice. it's entirely up to you, and knowing what is expected of them can make the beta's job easier!

And some things personal to me:

items/advice about how i write my own fic, these are things I look for in the update/style check to ensure the conclusion is built to in a satisfying way

plot themes, and building callbacks: I like to pick a few callbacks for my characters and have them mentioned a few times throughout the story - enough that readers will notice and appreciate the callback, but not too much that it's all the characters talk about. it's a delicate balance and depends on the length of the fic and the themes you choose. for example in the longfic i'm writing I have romcoms as a theme, where the characters bring up their favourite big romcom lines a couple of times, then joke around finding their own when they finally kiss. in my original novel i have one fun theme of one of my characters absolutely loving bread and always eating it whenever there's bread offered, and also a plot related theme of discussion about poison, poison preparation, and contemporary medical diagnoses of poisoning which leads a character to realise [REDACTED] might have been poisoned (these things are unrelated my character does not die of poison bread lmao) sometimes these callback themes can reflect the plot of your fic, or it can be a fun character thing that keeps coming back, or it can reflect how a character has grown from the start of the story

characterisation through your story: I'd suggest figuring out where your character starts, and the growth you want them to go through to make the characterisation more fulfilling. this can just be something specific you want that character to realise, or the character settling into the role they have and realising they enjoy it and fighting back less, or a character striving for something and either getting it or not getting it and deciding whether they even wanted it, etc. sometimes the simpler the fundamental character arc, the better. it can help with linking the character arc to the plot, and figuring out how minor characters are doing in the background of the fic

have fun and enjoy! don't feel obligated to follow my advice exactly or stick rigidly to one of the edit types, having a mix between them is just as useful and sometimes certain items slip from edit to edit! sharing your work is scary, but knowing you've picked up on typos and minor errors before you share can reduce that fear a bit :)

[tetrakys]

Forbidden - Act 1 and 2

So you guys might have seen one of my previous posts where I said I was going to play this game this weekend, and I did. I have been waiting for it for a while because I love @saku-chann​‘s art and I’d seen a few posts on the official tumblr page @forbiddenvn​ so I was super excited and, I have to say, it didn’t disappoint. The game is not perfect, there are a few problems here and there, but I think this is essentially a demo so the authors can easily make improvements, and there are also lots of very good things. But let’s talk about everything in order, starting with the main plot.

The plot

Forbidden is a romance mystery visual novel, the premise is simple: MC’s parents are rich, very rich, but too caught up in their own problems to deal with their rebelling daughter, so they send her to what is essentially a reformatory disguised as a fancy all-girls college. There we meet three charming teachers, the geek nephew of the director and a few classmates secondary characters. MC is also in contact with her childhood friend who didn’t show up yet but he should be another LI, I am curious about how the story is going to evolve to include him as he is a guy and he is back home (MC is Irish but I think the setting is England). The first two acts serve as an introduction to setting and characters, it’s very much dialogue heavy with little plot except for the last scene in act 2 which was a real shock and sets the tone of the whole game.

Cons

Now, you know I’m always very balanced with my reviews, giving pros and cons. This time I’m going to talk first about what I think doesn’t work because I have lots of trust in this project and I don’t want to focus too much on the negatives. I think the main problems are essentially three:

1. First of all, the game needs a beta, more than one actually, and they have to be english mother tongue. There are typos and grammar mistakes in almost every line and it’s a real shame because it takes away from fully diving into the story. I know that the two authors are french (I think) so it’s really amazing that they made a game in english and I congratulate them for that, they just need help, a few pairs of fresh eyes. I know very well that when you read and look at something a thousand times at some point you stop seeing any mistakes. And not only in the writing, there are some issues and small bugs here and there, like some scenes being cut abruptly at the beginning, some characters called with the wrong name, the wrong answers to some dialogues etc (if the authors want to contact me in private I can point to whatever I remember, it’s not the goal of this review to make a list.)

2. The second point, and this is probably very personal, is that I don’t like much the secondary characters because I find them very stereotyped. Basically the chubby girl only talks about food, drinks and lazying around

and also there is the usual clique of mean girls. I hate games that put women against each other, especially when there is no particular reason. In this case more than ever, these girls had basically said nothing yet and MC reacted in a pretty spiteful way. 

(I don’t trust women? Seriously??)

Granted, I do like that we have a strong-minded MC that doesn’t let anyone mistreat her, but she acted as the mean girl first. The one character I liked was Claire 

hehe funny... but well... 

I hope the game will give these characters more depth as the story moves forward and we won’t have too many cat-fights.

3. The final point, and probably the main one, is that I don’t buy the premise. MC is sent to this jail/school to complete her thesis, she is 23 and has to go along with whatever her parents want because she financially depends on them. I have to say, this doesn’t work with a 23 years old MC. I understand that she grew up rich and is not used to provide for herself, but the MC has to also represent the player a bit, this is too far fetched to believe. Also, everything in the setting looks like a high school, from the fact that MC has to study different subjects that have nothing to do with her thesis, the students having to wear a uniform, the all-girls boarding school environment... also the duration of the studies doesn’t make sense, in UK university lasts 3 years, then students can do a one year master. By the time they are 23 they are done unless they have lost one or more years, which I don’t think it’s MC’s case. My impression is that the game was aiming for a rich boarding high school atmosphere but that, since the romance part of the game involves teachers, the authors decided to make it the less controversial they could and upped MC’s age as much as possible. I understand that having a minor MC romancing a teacher could have been problematic for them, but to make the story work it would be enough to say that this is MC’s last year of college, she is 20-21, it would also explain her having to get some credits in other subjects and it’s enough to believe her acting out like a rebellious teenager.

So, these are my cons, as you can see they are all very easy to solve if they wish so, I think it would be great if they did because they would make the game perfect as the pros really really good.

Pros

1. Let’s start with the easiest: the art. This is in fact the reason I was interested in the game in the first place. I love the art style and how expressive all the characters are, how everything is very detailed and the backgrounds are soooo beautiful too.

And the CGs! I’m only going to post a couple without context just to illustrate how beautiful they are

2. The setting. I said that I don’t believe in the premise in relation to MC’s age and if this has to pass as a university, but other than that the setting is really intriguing, I’m a sucker for boarding-school based stories, especially when there is more than meets the eyes

Also the school has a sort of house-system, I didn’t fully understand how it works but I think that it is based on the year of study, MC is a stag which is the last one.

3. I really liked that we could chose the subject of our thesis among history, literature and math. Usually in these games the MC always studies art because this is what the creators know and it’s smart to stick to your guns, but I really appreciated so much that math was a choice and I didn’t have to suffer through the usual stereotype of “math is hard, I hate math, it’s just numbers blah blah blah”, this is personal but it made me very happy.

(Honestly a good chunk of my excitement is now working on our thesis 🤭)

4. The romance. So... I came into this game completely blind, I knew nothing about the plot except for one thing: we are going to romance sexy teachers 👀 I had seen the guys’ sprites and, while all three are good-looking

there was only one guy who had immediately got my attention, the one in the middle. How lucky it is that it turns out he is Mr Alexander Holmes the math teacher?? And how lucky it is that it turns out he is the cold asshole of the group? (i.e. my type?)

Do I hear wedding bells already?

(talking to the class)

Be still my beating heart! 😻

(and you know babe I would take you more seriously if it weren’t for the fact that the math you wrote on the blackboard is complete nonsense, thankfully you’re pretty and brooding)

The other guys are nice and apparently sweet but they haven’t seduced me yet. Only the geek a bit because I have a weakness for geeks

(look at that background! saku you have so much talent!)

5. I find the writing style quite intriguing. MC describes everything first person present tense, but then at some point there are some philosophical monologues from MC from the future narrating in the past tense. While this could be unnerving, I think it adds to the mysterious and intriguing atmosphere of the game. (My only suggestion is to use a different font when these come up to make the reading easier.)

6. The mystery. This is probably the most important factor, this isn’t just a romantic visual novel, it’s a murder mystery! And they hint at something supernatural going on because a girl was killed a while ago and they say her spirit is still around. But this isn’t the only crime, apparently there is someone going around killing people and I’m all in for this, love me a good murder mystery.

So, this is it from me, let me know if you end up playing, you’ll find the link to download the game on the official tumblr @forbiddenvn​ (it’s itch.io so it’s free and you can pay only if you want, whatever you want). I really hope there’s going to be more soon, but I can see it may take some time, it’s clear that a humongous amount of work went into this demo for just two people, but I’m looking forward to see what comes next!

[bakugouscentedcaramel]

Ah yes, the time has come.

It's time to get your pen and paper because class is in session!

There's plenty of things I could talk about and I pretty much covered the basics down below, but I'm more than willing to help y'all out with anything specific!

I have to preface that I'm not an English major by any means nor do I have any experience writing professionally, the things listed below are purely based on my opinions and submissions I have received.

Writing is forever a learning process, there really isn't a right way of writing but there are definitely some things that will hinder your readers. Here is a list that I compiled both with my own experiences as well as some user submitted issues when it comes to reading works:

•Big blocks of text

° Typos/wrong word usage

•Using the same words

°Too spaced out/not indented where needed

• Dialogue runs into normal sentences

° Speakers/POVs change without notice

• Inconsistencies, either in general or story inconsistencies

°Lack of description/Too much description

• Bland/Artificial actions/dialogue

° Misuse of punctuation/lack thereof

• Capitalization errors

° Long winded sentences

• Using italics for actions

° Confusing formating

• Changing in Tenses

° Using wrong tags/falsely advertising (ex. Reader x Blank should have Y/N, not an OC/Authors name)

• Author notes/comics/pictures in middle of fic

° "~This is a transition~"

• Forcing a character to be OOC for sake of story

° Filler characters

• Not sticking to a specific genre/jumpy moods

Now don't be intimidated by this list! Some of these are pretty self explanatory so I won't go into a few of them. There are plenty of ways to avoid these and in some cases it is perfectly fine to use any of the above. 

Let's start off with the basics!

Sentence structure is the backbone of writing, but it's a very flexible rule. Obviously you have your subject, verb, object and whatnot, but the true art lies in word choice and length.

When it comes to sentences, size does matter. If your sentences are too short they will seem choppy and unfinished, whereas if they are long they will seem winded and unnatural. The biggest tool you can use to find out if a sentence is too short/long is by reading it aloud! If you run out of breath it's too long but if you finish abruptly it's too short.

Word choice is my favorite weapon to work with, I could describe a blue jay as a normal bird or as a mythical animal just by picking the right words!

"The blue jay flew across the field while it sang it's melody."

Or

"A creature with wings made of clouds swooped across the field whilst roaring out a devilish tune."

Word choice can easily convey tone/feeling so it's definitely an important element to writing! If you ever have trouble finding that perfect word try googling for synonyms! Also this website might help you find that one word that you just can't think of!

Grammar is also a very important part of writing. Using the right words and punctuation can be difficult sometimes but there are some easy fixes!

Spelling is an easy fix, if you forgot/don't know how to spell a word consulting a dictionary or Google is a surefire way of solving your problem. You can even find synonyms if you feel like you've used a word too much. 

Punctuation on the other can be a big more difficult, however. 

Here's a couple of sentences that helped me learn basic punctuation:

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink then leaves. Commas are a means of sewing two sentences together to form a compound sentence. These are mainly used to list out things and to add fluidity to your works so they don't sound as choppy.

A question mark walks into a bar? Question marks are pretty self explanatory. They either raise a question or form uncertainty.

Two quotation marks "walk" into a bar. Quotations are used for both dialogue and metaphors. I personally love using them for sarcasm!

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink. This one is a tougher one that I personally never learned from any of my classes. A gerund is basically a word that can act as a verb or a noun which would be "drinking". An infinitive is the base of a verb, in this case it's "drink".

The bar was walked into by a passive voice. A passive voice is when you emphasize the action and object of a sentence rather than the subject. You can find that a passive voice tends to use past tense where as an active voice uses present/future tense.

Three intransitives walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave. An intransitive verb is an action verb, expressing a doable activity like arrive, go, lie, sneeze, sit, die, etc.

Some other things that I commonly see are the wrong usages of words. For example:

They: a group of individuals/pronoun "Yeah, they said he'd be here thirty minutes ago."

Their: a possessive pronoun "Leave their stuff alone!'

There: location "What's that over there?"

Then: event/action "Val went to the mall then skittered to the park."

Your: possessive "Your self esteem is lower than the Mariana's Trench!"

You're: a conjunctive "you are"

Affect: caused by actions "The fallen french fry really affected Val's mood."

Effect: caused by events "Climate change has a negative effect on my Cheerios."

Peaked: a summit "Val has peaked at 10:19pm"

Piqued: stimulate interest/curiosity "You have piqued Val's interest by mentioning food."

Do time: "Val is fixin' to do time if she keeps slacking."

Due time: "Val will come with hydration in due time."

Per say: not a thing

Per se: by/in itself "She didn't write this late at night, per se…"

There are different tools you can use to spice up your writings, from metaphors to innuendos, all the way to zeugmas! Let's go over the basic definitions of these bad boys.

Metaphor: a figure of speech that is not literally applicable. "The darkness surrounded us like a shroud." Obviously the darkness can't physically shroud anyone.

Innuendo: a sentence with a hidden meaning "Is that a gator in your pants or are you just happy to see me~" 

Zeugma: a sentence containing words that can be used literally and figuratively, like a love child of the two above. "Val and her coupon expired last week." This implies that not only did my Colgate coupon expire, but I died as well.

Paragraphs are a necessity when it comes to writing. Big blocks of text are an eyestrain to readers and it's easy to lose your place, even if it's only 150 words. It's always best to use Tab or at least 5 spaces when indenting. A paragraph should only be 5-7 sentences long, this is so it's not just multiple blocks of text

When to add a new paragraph:

° A new person comes in

• New idea/context

° Setting changes

• New person is speaking

° Time changes

• The "camera" moves

° Tone shifts

• 5-7 sentences has been reached

Paragraphs help you organize your work in a way and they make it easier for your readers' eyes!

POVs are also very important. First person and third person are by far the most common ones so I'll only touch on these two. It's very important to write a story in one strict POV as to not confuse the readers. You can however jump perspectives like Heroes of Olmpyus by Rick Rodian, as long as the ready can easily tell who is telling the story.

First person is a story that is told from first-hand experience. It's the same as if I told y'all the story on how I almost chopped off my thumb in woodshop class back in middle school. First person tends to use a lot of I's and my's

Third person is a story that is told from a narrators' point of view. Such as "Once upon a time" type of stories. I's and my's should only be used in dialogue

Dialogue is probably one of the most important features of any fic/story. Dialogue can push plots forward as well as add life to a character. Here's a simple exchanged:

"Hiya 'Splodey," Val chirped.

Katuski smirked, "M'dumbass."

Dialogue should always come with a pair of quotation marks. Commas and periods generally go inside the quotation marks whereas dashes, colons, and semicolons almost always go outside the quotation marks. Question marks and exclamation marks however can go either inside or outside, it goes by a case by case basis. Always indent whenever a different speaker is talking, running quotes into each other is a no-go because it causes confusion and eyestrain.

You have to be wary of using simple dialogue exchanges though, if they seem off try saying them out loud! Dialogue is one of my favorite things to write because you can weave personality into them, not to mention you can always hear people talking to get a better idea on how to write dialogue.

For example, I have a southern dialect, meaning I sound different than someone from the north! I use words like "y'all", "fixin'", "finna", "ain't" and have a different vocabulary than that of my northern friends. This means that the characters you're portraying should have their own way of speaking! This will not only add flavor to your dialogue but it also adds to their personalities/backgrounds.

Describing things can be just as valuable as dialogue, but it is a bit more complex. Sure we've all heard of the "show, don't tell" rule. Which is a good rule to follow, however too much showing is just as bad as telling. Again, reading out your work is a great way to tell if you're focusing too much on one thing. Another thing to keep in mind is importance, such as do we really need to know that the grass outside was bluegrass? Which in certain situations it would be! For example:

The grass around the disheveled house was brown and straw-like, with the exception of a ring of grass. Bluegrass. Which wasn't even native to this location.

This paints a pretty good spooky picture in the readers' mind and even adds the element suspense by the implied uncertainty.

I've only covered a small portion of writing so if y'all have any questions or need any help feel free to slide into my DMs or send in an ask! I love getting questions about writing and I'm always willing to help a fellow writer!

[rayofsunas]

under my skin — gu yanzhen

A/N: sooo, I saw this ad for this show and I started watching it and can I say... it's so good so far and I'm only 6 episodes in out of 48... Please don't spoil anything for me. The event of things are out of order, it'll be my own imagine and what I want basically. anyways enjoy!

Pairings: Fiancé! Gu Yanzhen x Fem! Fiancé Reader, Qu Manting (mentioned), Zhuang (OC)

Summary: your fiancé is always getting into trouble, and it seems as though going down to the police station to free him from a cell doesn't help his liking towards you.

Warnings: arranged marriage, swearing, angst, teasing, anger issues (somewhat), slight spoilers (although not really if you've already seen the show), there might be typos (I edited it twice, but possibly could’ve missed something), very longggg

Words: 2,426

Isn't he gorgeous? he reminds me of Levi from Attack on Titan.

"He's where?" You snapped at your mother who tried to stop your pacing form, though it wasn't working each time she gripped your upper arms tightly.

"I know," her head shook disapprovingly, eyes wandering briefly to the floor below you, to without a doubt think about what was to come. "That boy is trouble. But Yanzhen's father is rightfully embarrassed and will not go down to the station to retrieve him."

Your eyes rolled. This had happened far too many times already, and your name along with Yanzhen's had been like a household name in the police station. It was growing annoying, embarrassing and quite frankly you were sick of having to go in there to retrieve him because of his childish behavior.

"Do you know how embarrassing that is for me as well!? Bailing my fiancé out of jail for some stupid stunt he pulled — once again! — isn't something I enjoy doing." You explained, your voice not dialing down at all in your father's office you and your mother argued in.

"It would seem weird if his fiancé didn't show up to bail him out of jail."

"It's arranged," you exclaimed for the one-hundredth time with a pointed finger. "It's not real." Your mother's eyes rolled clearly annoyed. "And he doesn't want to see me, and rightfully I feel the same way. Not after he pulled that little stunt with Ms. Qu two months ago, when he's supposed to be loyal to me as his fiancé."

"It's arranged," your mother mocked your previous comment, using it against you like she always did. She wasn't wrong though. "Isn't that what you just said?"

You stopped pacing, flabbergasted by your mother's somewhat smart-ass retort. Clenching your fists at your side, you tried to conceal your growing anger.

"Yes, but that's beside the point! He's supposed to look loyal to me. Sweeping another woman off of her feet and throwing her over his back like a sack of potato's looks skeptical!"

The short woman's eyes enlarged, growing orbs now transfixed on you. "As for the Manting incident, I understand where you're coming from. But he's your fiancé, soon to be husband. People would start to talk if you didn't do this."

"Am I supposed to just be 'loyal' to him and get nothing in return? He makes me look like a fool, mother!"

"Y/n—" You immediately interjected what your mother was saying. "Mother—" Your mother's own stern voice broke through your heated rage by saying, "Unless you want to be the laughing stock of the town, I suggest you do this. Not only for yourself, but for your future husband."

—

"Stupid Yanzhen. Always getting in trouble, always bringing me into his fucki—" your eyes enlarged and you paused mid-sentence as soon as your eyes scanned the room to see the devil himself, looking pretty comfortable in a chair, definitely not in a cold cell behind bars like your mother had exaggerated only thirty or so minutes ago.

You ignored the gasps and silent whispers from the male officers as you strode into the room angrily, not evening paying attention to the fact that they were hypnotized by you and your aura.

Your heels clicked against the wooden oak floor and that seemed to catch everyone's attention, even Yanzhen who briefly looked up from the game his eyes were focused on, before looking back distastefully.

That prick... was just sitting around playing games while you faced the consequences. You were supposed to attend a party tonight as a couple. It would be one of the last outings together before you were a married couple, and he was here playing games...

To say the least, you were fuming with anger and so much more than that. Why did you have to be engaged to a troublesome prick? Why did he have to be so childish...

Approaching the table he was sitting at, the officers surrounding him immediately dispersed away from around the table and stood back.

Concealing then distasteful, a furious look on your face, you allowed a forced smile to paint across your lips.

"What're you doing here, my love?" You asked sweetly, eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings, hoping to not come off as bothered and pissed. You had an image to keep up, and your fiancé wasn't going to ruin that image for you.

Yanzhen glared at you with his sharp daggered eyes, before focusing back on the game before him, completely ignoring you.

One of the head officers chuckled nervously, before taking a brave step forward to greet you. "Good afternoon, Ms. L/n."

"Afternoon, Shang. Has my fiancé caused you any trouble?"

"N-No, not nearly as much as last time." The older man laughed nervously again, clearly lying straight through his teeth.

You laughed distastefully, turning to fully face the officer, your dress moving with you.

"If it's alright with you, I'm here to bail Yanzhen out." A cheery smile replaced his annoyance. He was more than pleased to have Yanzhen out of his station.

"Yes, yes. It's quite alright!" He sounded so happy, while on the other side of you, Yanzhen snorted. Nodding in agreement with the officer and ignoring the noises coming from Yanzhen, you reached into your pale blue dress' pocket and pulled out your small purple pouch that held coins.

"Will this do?" You asked, arm extending to hand the coins over. Before the head officer could grab the coins from your slender hand, a large hand enveloped your own, stopping you completely. Your face flushed red, not with embarrassment but with anger. Looking up to see who stopped you, a handsome face of a giant appeared. A sigh escaped your mouth. You were doing Yanzhen a favor! Why couldn't he just accept it just one time?

"I don't need you to pay for me." He whispered lowly, keeping his eyes on the officer as he did so. He was just putting him even more on edge than he already was. You scoffed in annoyance, getting to your peak of anger.

"She's your fiancé, Mr. Gu. If she's here to help, y-you should—"

Yanzhen raised his hand, silencing the kind older man. "Here." The dark-haired handsome man reached into his own pants pocket to dig out a handful of coins, and he shoved it in the officers face.  The officer didn't even have enough time to react, and the coins went falling to the floor, making clanging sounds as soon as they landed. You rolled your eyes at his disrespectful behavior: thinking he could just pay his way through life and be rude all while doing so.

"B-But, Mr. Gu—"

"Good. Now I'm leaving." Without looking back, Yanzhen brushed passed you and towards the doors of the station. As he was walking the air in the room seemed to tense. You weren't going to stop him. You just wanted to get him out of here as soon as possible. As soon as he was gone though, everyone around you seemed to feel the stressful weight off of their shoulders. Sadly for you though, you had to go home with that bastard.

Your head dropped in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry about that."

Staring at the coins on the ground made you, even more, angrier and just reminded you of that bastard's behavior. Bending down, you began picking up the coins.

"Ms. Y/n, it's alright! You don't have to apologize. You did nothing wrong." you allowed yourself to hand over the coins to the officer after picking them up. He looked as if he wanted to reject the money, but that only made you realize something.

"I know, I just— here," Handing over another handful of coins which happened to be yours, you gave him and the staring men behind him, an apologetic smile. "It's a lot of money, but you all deserve it. You should go out for drinks tonight." You explained thoughtfully. "Think of it as a tip."

"For what?" One of the younger officers piped up, confused on why you were giving much more than you needed.

"Dealing with Yanzhen. I know he's very... stubborn and childish. Troublesome too." You flashed him an apologetic smile, hoping he didn't hold any ill feelings, though you wouldn't blame him if he did. "You deserve it. Share it with your men," He smiled kindly. "

"Thank you, Ms. Y/n. You're too kind." Bowing to the men, they also repeated the action before waving you off sweetly.

The walk to the door and eventually to the black car waiting outside for you felt so short, and in reality, it was a short walk, but you wished it'd of been longer. You didn't want to face your fiancé. He'd surely piss you off once more, resulting in an argument. And frankly, you didn't want your mood to turn sour, it would ruin your night at the part later on.

As soon as you got outside like you predicted, Yanzhen was waiting inside the sleek black car for you.

You could see him impatiently waiting in the backseat, his leg bouncing furiously and his eyes rolling every now and then, probably thinking of you or what has just happened in the station. On the other hand, the chauffeur in the front waited much more calmly and much more patiently.

As soon as you slid into the back of the car beside, that same tenseness entered your body like a rush, once again. He scooted as far away from you as possible, and out of spite, you found yourself doing the exact same thing. Your legs crossed as you did so, your left one laying over your right, and you couldn't help but let a frown.

Your eyes couldn't help but scan Yanzhen's face in the glass reflection, you scoffed even more.

"I was supposed to be getting ready for a party that we were invited too as a couple," your gaze lowered down to your lap, eyes glittering with red flames of anger. "And you were here playing games.

A smirk appeared on his face, and your eyes rolled.

That sick bastard.

"I'm wasn't playing games. You see, I was actually locked up. And the party isn't for another few hours, I don't see the problem."

Humming to yourself, sarcastically you asked, "How'd you get free?" Your tall fiancé shrugged his shoulders.

"Easy. I didn't do anything wrong. They realized that."

"They don't want you in their station, you did something." His tongue clicked in annoyance. "Also, you're expected to attend the event as well, so please go freshen up. You wreak like alcohol.

Scoffing you snapped, "I don't understand how you can drink at this time of the hour. It's so early, Yanzhen." You complained, jumping a bit when the car came to a halt. Peering out your window, you realized you'd finally made it home.

"I don't understand how you can be such a bitch this time of the hour." He hopped out of the car with ease and stalked off towards the house nonchalantly. You silently climbed out of the car, swinging one leg over the other before finally landing on the gravel and dirt below you. A heavy frown formed on your face and your heart seemed to melt, not in a good way either. He always found a way to get to you. No matter what he did, said or even didn't do.

"Such a beautiful woman shouldn't frown." A sudden voice startled you from your thoughts. For a second, you almost thought it was Yanzhen, but then repeated the globe in your head and turned to see none other than Yanzhen's driver, Zhuang. You sighed, but nonetheless, allowed a small smile to replace your frown.

"Thank you, Zhuang."

"Don't worry, he'll let up. I've known him almost his whole life, he's always been a little stubborn, troubling boy."

"I understand the circumstances of your relationship. But, I think that within time, you two will grow to deeply love each other," you wanted to shake your head, you wanted to rebuke what he was saying, deny it. But then he suddenly said, "You two remind me of me and my wife and me when we were your age."

"Really?"

He laughed joyfully. "Yes. My wife was very much like Yanzhen. She wouldn't admit her feelings and was often cold towards me; we often bickered too."

"He doesn't have feelings though." You shrugged, gently shutting the cars door and standby straight in front of Zhuang.

"Trust me. Any straight man who isn't blind could see your beauty, inside and out." You blushed as you began walking towards the house, the older man followed beside you. "He should be proud to be engaged to such a beautiful, intelligent young woman."

I guess he was right in some way, although you couldn't exactly explain why. Yanzhen should start to learn how to appreciate you, and you could return the favor.

"I can tell you want to make it work. But you get furious with his behavior, but I think in the end, you can balance out his behavior."

"I guess I can only hope so, Zhuang. Thanks for the talk, it lifted my spirits a lot." You kindly thanked, adding a bow as you did so.

Zhuang accepted the smile "Alright. I will be ready for you and Mr. Gu when you're ready to leave for the event."

You nodded, thanked Zhuang once more for his kind words, and trekked into the house.

—

"Can you at least smile and make it look like you're enjoying yourself? Jeez, you kill the mood." Exclaimed Yanzhen who you stood next to at one of the many tables loaded with liquor.

"I'll smile once you stop barreling down bottles of whiskey. It’s quite embarrassing.” You exclaimed, ignoring the looks of guests staring at you from across the room, probably awaiting either Yanzhen or you, maybe both, to greet them.

"I'm a gentleman when I'm drunk, and you know it." He sarcastically cheered. You snorted, remembering your talk with Zhuang earlier. Maybe getting along with him for a little bit won’t be bad, right?”

"I guess so. It's kinda sad that you're actually nice when you're drunk. Too bad you're not like that when you're sober."

“You’re so annoying.” He whined, setting the large glass down before throwing his head back and tossing the amber liquid to the back of his throat.

"And you're about the only person on earth, that can get under my skin and really piss me off."

[hopelessromanticspoonie]

To Keep You Safe

Title: I don't wanna be the one to have the sun's blood on my hands

Chapter: 19/?

Author: hopeless_romantic_spoonie

Summary: Life as the assistant to Tony Stark was busy, but boring. All of that changed when I touched something I shouldn't have and woke up with strange new abilities. If I thought that trying to figure out my new place in life as an Avenger was tough, I had no idea what was in store for me once I ran into the frustrating God of Mischief, Loki.

Rating: E 

Notes: Friendly reminder that this is un-Beta’d, so please excuse any typos or grammatical errors I no doubt missed during revisions!

Also on Ao3 here :)

Warnings for this chapter: Graphic depictions of violence, brief mention of previous torture, blood, language

~~~

“Loki Odinson was under the control of an outside force and coerced into his misdeeds in the 2012 Invasion of New York. After the incident, he served time for his crimes in solitary confinement on his homeworld of Asgard. He has since returned with his brother, King Thor Odinson of Asgard, to make amends for his previous actions. He has assisted the Avengers on several missions to better the safety of our fellow man. His presence here is fully supported by myself and the rest of the Avengers. He is not a threat to us.”

Tony was a natural at press conferences. Even when reading a pre-prepared speech, which he would hopefully stick to this time, he seemed completely at ease with the stressful situation and stiff legalese. Only those closest to him would notice the tension he held in his shoulders or the worry he hid behind his glasses. Loki was going to be a hard sell, and by proxy, so would I.

I had stood on the sidelines for countless press conferences and events acting as his assistant. I was comfortable in that role; my job consisted of just waiting to step in if it went south or if an urgent matter came up that I needed to get Tony out of there to handle. I was much less confident in my current position. I was the subject, or at least a good part of it, to be discussed in front of a hundred reporters who would then publish or broadcast it to millions of people. All eyes were on me and the Asgardian by my side, scrutinizing our every twitch and breath. A wrong move would not end up in just my firing from the company, but with the very real possibility of my arrest. It wasn’t a relaxed atmosphere, to be sure.

Loki, on the other hand, looked as poised and calm as ever. It was easy to picture him as he would’ve been on Asgard, standing dutifully to the side as Odin rambled on and on about some issue that he would most definitely handle differently. There wasn’t a crack in his apathetic gaze as he stared out at the crowd, looking as if he belonged there in his dark gray three-piece suit. Tall and proud and wholly above the proceedings, I felt very small in comparison.

“Many of you have seen her before, but the newest member of the Avengers is my former assistant, Jennifer Thompson. She has been a huge asset to the team since she joined several months ago. We have nothing but positive things to say about her and her abilities.”

All of the heads and cameras in the room swiveled to direct their attention to me. I wanted to shrink away into the shadows beneath their intense scrutiny. I settled for dropping my eyes to the floor. Loki shifted on his feet enough to brush his arm against mine, and I flicked my gaze over to him. He lifted his chin slightly higher and took a deep breath in through his nose, directing his eyes to settle just above the reporters present. I took the hint and fixed my neutral gaze just beyond the onlookers. With my hands clasped behind my back and my chin lifted proudly, I could almost pull off looking as stately as him. Almost. My quickened breathing and ashen face had to give my nerves away.

“Now, I know that you’re all here because of the incident that occurred last night. Loki and Ms. Thompson had been out on a mission for us when they were attacked by terrorists. They handled the situation as best as any of us could have, without any civilian casualties. Rest assured that we are working on finding and eliminating this terrorist cell permanently. In the meantime, we ask for your patience and continued support. Thank you.”

Of course, his clear-cut dismissal and retreat from the podium didn’t stop the barrage of questions hurled in our direction.

“Are Loki and Ms. Thompson dating?”

“Who were the terrorists?”

“How can we know that he’s changed?”

~~~

“I’m not wearing heels, Nat,” I refused, scowling at the black strappy stilettos of death she held out for me. “Besides, you won’t be able to see them in this dress.”

I wasn’t wrong. My black floor-length gown completely hid my bare feet as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Thankfully Pepper had listened when I asked for some sort of sleeve to hide the scar on my shoulder, but chose to ignore the request for a dress with a back as well. The intricate lace that began above the deep-V of opaque fabric at my chest continued up to the collar at my neck and down both arms, but it didn’t extend to the very open and low back. The dimples at the base of my spine were visible, for goodness sake. If anyone tried to touch any part of my back tonight they would just get a handful of my skin. Awesome.

The tangled web of scars stretching across my middle and upper back were out for all to see, as Nat had insisted that the dress was meant to highlight them for a reason--to show the world what I’d faced and overcome--but it just sounded like I was some freak put out on display. She insisted that leaving my long hair down would be a waste of such a beautiful gown; the elegant bun pinned to my head with far too many bobby pins was much more fitting, in her opinion. I didn’t argue, but maybe I should have. It would only give the people who were coming just to see Loki and me in public another thing to speculate about, but it wasn’t a battle worth fighting. Whenever Nat was in control of my styling I just let her go to town. She knew what she was doing, and my nerves were pulling my thoughts in too many directions to even begin to formulate a decent argument.

“C’mon, Jen! Grow a pair and wear the damn heels. It won’t kill you and it’ll make your ass look great,” she replied, tossing the shoes at my feet so she could strap into her own slinky stilettos.

I ignored her, going to my closet to select and step into a simple pair of black flats instead. “My ass already looks great,” I countered, painted plum lips pulling into a smirk.

“His ego is rubbing off on you.” She rolled her kohl-rimmed eyes, checking herself out in the mirror before heading to the door. “C’mon Princess, we don’t have all night.”

I rolled my eyes and followed her out, my snappy comeback dying on my lips as I got an eyeful in my escort for the evening waiting outside of my room. All of the air rushed out of my lungs. Loki had no right to make a tuxedo look that good. I stopped dead in my tracks, ogling him appreciatively before he took notice of me. Leaning against the wall with his hands shoved into his pockets and his head dropped to stare at his shined black leather shoes, he could have walked out of a movie. His slightly curly hair was tucked back behind his ears to accentuate his sculpted cheekbones and chiseled jaw, and his emerald green bowtie brought out his penetrating gaze when finally looked up upon our entrance. My heart stuttered in my chest as our eyes met; he was the most stunning man I had ever laid eyes on, and he was all mine.

I blushed under the heat of his perusal as he languorously traced every curve of my body in the tight dress with his penetrating gaze. He sauntered over to offer me his arm with a leering smile. “You are ravishing, love,” he whispered into my ear, lightly setting his hand over mine when I slipped it into the crook of his arm.

“You clean up pretty well yourself, Asgardian,” I replied warmly as he led us downstairs. Nat had made everyone wait for us--perfection couldn’t be rushed--but she claimed they wouldn’t mind when they saw what they had been waiting for. From Loki’s darkened eyes and wolfish grin, I’d have to agree with her on that one.

Our entrance was welcomed with a wolf whistle from Sam which triggered another deep blush to bloom on my fair skin. Loki tensed up, either from jealousy or possessiveness, and I stroked the inside of his arm with my thumb to soothe him. That side of him was never going to go away, no matter how much I proved my loyalty to him. Truthfully, the less civilized part of me enjoyed his desire to keep me for his own. I hazarded a look around the room, which immediately made me feel inadequate. It was a little intimidating to be reminded that the people you lived and worked with could all pass for models and movie stars.

Thor, immaculately dressed in his own tux, came forward and clapped Loki on the shoulder. “Well done, brother,” he said loudly in that resounding voice of his that echoed around the large reception area. I couldn’t help but smile at the implied compliment and received a wink for my efforts. While the eldest Odinson wasn’t my type--I couldn’t believe that I had thought he was at one point--I could understand the easy, confident appeal that he had as he chatted idly with the man holding me securely to him. Loki also seemed to appreciate the hearty endorsement, as he stood a bit taller and cast a proud smile in my direction.

“Natasha, Sam, Steve, and Thor, you’re in the first car. Jen and Loki, you’re in the second car with Tony and myself. Wanda and Vision, you’re with Bruce in the last car. We’re late, so let’s get a move on,” Pepper called, walking in from outside and pointing everybody in the right direction. Tony was apparently already in the car, as he was nowhere to be found.

Loki and I followed Pepper, climbing into the black SUV assigned to us and settling in the back row. Tony was, as I guessed, sitting in the row in front of us fiddling with something on his phone. He didn’t even move at our entrance, and only briefly looked up to kiss Pepper on the side of her head when she sat next to him and told the driver to head away from the Compound.

Several minutes into the ride, Pepper turned around as best as she could in the seat so she could face us. “I have to tell you this even though you probably know it, but you both need to be on your best behavior tonight. Nobody really knew you as Tony’s assistant, Jen, and they’re going to want to get under your skin. Loki, Thor assured me that you have been to many events like this on Asgard and that you would know how to act properly?” She paused, waiting for Loki’s quick nod of agreement before continuing, “You both need to consider how you want to present yourselves. Jen, you know how it goes. You saw the spotlight that fell on us after we went public. Just,” she looked pointedly at Loki before meeting my thoughtful hazel eyes, “think about how you want it to go, okay?” She offered us a sympathetic smile before turning around, going back to whatever work she had to do on her smartphone.

“What is she referring to?” Loki asked quietly, probably not wanting to be overheard by the couple diligently working away just in front of us.

I shook my head and tried to muster up a reassuring smile but I could tell by the frustration written on his face that it wasn’t successful. “I don’t know. Probably nothing important.”

His steady gaze turned to steel and he leaned toward me slowly. “Do not lie to the God of Lies, little one. It never works out well.”

I suddenly became very interested in a piece of lace detailing on my sleeve, picking at it with my nails to avoid looking at him. That didn’t work for too long, as he delicately grasped my chin with his long fingers and lifted so I was forced to look at him.

“Tell me what she meant,” he ordered, his low voice brokering no room for argument.

I knew exactly what she was implying, and I also knew that he wasn’t going to take it well. But if I didn’t tell him, his irritation was going to get the best of him and that wasn’t what we needed right before spending several hours playing nice in front of people desperate to see us crack. “Besides what happened last week, I’m relatively unknown to the public. I have a small reputation as Tony’s assistant, standing in the background while he conducted business. There press and paparazzi are going to be there, digging for whatever they can find to publish in the tabloids and trashy magazines. Which wouldn’t be so bad, but…” I stopped, tugging my chin free from his hand so I could direct my quiet words at his chest. “If I present myself as your partner, it,” I sighed heavily, “it won’t look the best for me. She was reminding me that appearing in public with you, as your partner, is going to make your reputation rub off on mine. It’s going to make it all much more difficult.”

He visibly stiffened, shifting farther away from me in the seat as he regarded me with a feigned air of cold indifference. His spindly fingers laced together on his lap. “Ahh, I see. Is that what you want? To no longer be tied to me and my negative past deeds?”

“No!” I said loudly, earning a quick concerned glance from Tony and Pepper. I smiled awkwardly until they gave up on their curiosity and turned around. “No. I’m not going to abandon you just because tonight is going to suck. This will, however, be our moment to publically come out as a couple. So, we need to decide if we want the world to know about us or not. We will be closely observed either way. What do youwant?” I asked, my stomach threatening to come up through my throat at the sudden onset of nerves raging inside of me. I couldn’t stop my hands from wringing together in my lap if someone paid me.

“I am proud to have you by my side,” he replied, the hurt he managed to hide from his stony expression creeping into his otherwise clear voice. “But it is your decision on whether or not you feel the same.”

“We will be the most hated people there…” I cautioned. He needed to be prepared for what we were about to face, whether we did it together or not.

“I have spent the majority of my life as the most despised person in mixed company. Their opinions do not matter to me.” He frowned. Vulnerability reflected in his eyes for a brief moment before he turned to the window. “It would, however, make this ordeal much more bearable if I did not have to face the criticism alone.”

Really fucked that one up. Good job. I slouched backwards, deflating as I stared out my window. I didn’t know whether I was more upset at Pepper for bringing it up or at myself for even making the suggestion that we might go it alone. I knew about his deeply rooted trust and abandonment issues and I had just played into them handily. Words weren’t going to make it any better. He was the God of Lies. He knew that words meant little compared to actions. The only option I had was to show him that I wanted to stand by his side through it all.

Because that’s what I wanted, right? I couldn’t imagine facing all of this alone, and I certainly didn’t want him to have to do it either. He, more so than anyone tonight, was going to be watched like a hawk at this event. He hadn’t yet proved to them that he wasn’t the same man that they had last seen. I couldn’t throw him to the wolves like that. We made each other stronger in all situations, and this was more nerve-wracking than any mission for the Avengers. We’d both be much calmer if we could lean on the other in our weaker moments.

The car pulled up outside of the venue for the night, an impossibly large museum, and stopped right next to the red-carpeted stairs. Through the heavily tinted windows dozens of paparazzi lay in wait to get pictures of the Avengers and other celebrities as they made their way into the charity gala. And, by some twist of fate, I had been lumped into that group.

Pepper and Tony exited first to a chorus of shouts and cheers. Loki, ever the gentlemen when it concerned me, gracefully withdrew from the car before turning to offer his hand to assist me. Apprehension settled in faint lines on his fair skin as he waited, illuminated from behind by the flashing bulbs of tabloid reporters waiting to get the perfect shot of our entrance. With a grateful smile, I took his hand, carefully easing myself out of the car. Loki’s stricken face studied me, waiting for my next move to indicate how we would go about the evening.

I released him to smooth down my dress with shaking hands and his face fell instantly, but only briefly; his mask of apathy slipping over his face with practiced ease. He began to walk away, adjusting his suit jacket stiffly, and I just barely managed to snag his wrist before he made it too far. He turned on his heel to see what I needed and my heart panged in my chest at the hint of betrayal shining in his eyes.

My hand drifted down his wrist to lace my fingers with his and pull him into my side. “You can’t leave me alone with these sharks. It’s not very Prince-like of you,” I teased with a hopeful grin.

A relieved smile spread across his face, showing his teeth and wrinkling around his eyes. Bright flashes from the cameras pointed at us blinded me as he left a lingering kiss on my forehead. His pleased hum vibrated through my skull. The tension left his body with heavy exhale of relief. “Please excuse my poor manners. It will not happen again.” He brushed another kiss on the back of my hand before straightening up to face the screaming paparazzi head-on.

“-you two together or-”

“-side of what happened last-”

“-she a good la-”

“-Tony not good enough so you had to move up-”

“-with an Asgardian Prince like?”

“-do we know this isn’t just another trick-”

Loki’s head tilted slightly to the side as he fought to catch each sleazy and lowball question. With a quick wave at the yelling silhouettes behind the flashing cameras, I tugged him along the walkway. Now wasn’t the time to give them any attention that wasn’t necessary, and I told him so.

“A number of those questions were out of line,” he muttered, shooting a glare back in their direction while I guided him inside of the building.

“They want to get a rise out of us; it sells their shitty magazines. Don’t stoop to their level,” I replied, leading him down the cordoned-off pathway. My sure steps ground to a halt just outside of the hall where the gala was actually taking place. A lead ball had fallen into my stomach and my heart thundered in my chest.

Loki took in my anxious face and pulled me off to the side, allowing the small crowd of people we had been blocking to continue inside unhindered. He stooped down until all I could see was his face. “Do not tell me that you are afraid to go into that room filled with harmless mortals?”

I laughed weakly. “I’m not afraid of the other mortals. I just don’t want to go in there, big difference.”

He rolled his eyes at my bluff. He straightened up and pressed his hands over the front of my shoulders so that I dropped them back to mirror his impeccable posture. Before taking my hand once again, he nudged my chin upwards with his calloused fingers. “If they will not give you the respect that you deserve, take it from them. Show them the fierce woman that I know you to be.”

Bolstered by his confident assurances, I followed him into the crowded room. I fixated on his thumb rubbing against the thin skin of my knuckles. I forced myself to not focus on the hush that fell over the space as soon as we entered or the eyes that watched our every move as we made our way over to the bar. I didn’t pay attention to the hushed utterances of our names as I downed a glass of red wine and then clutched onto my second. I was one-hundred percent not paying attention to them at all.

Right.

The only saving grace, besides Loki’s continued quiet presence at my side, turned out to be his brother. We had managed to find an area along the wall where I could keep an eye on everyone and stay out of the way, hoping not to be bothered. Thor had other ideas, as he strolled over to us with a beaming smile and held out his hand to me.

“Right now you are both a terrifying sight, ghostly in black as you stare people down. Come, dance with me, my lady,” he offered, directing the words to me but his attention on Loki.

“He has a point,” I conceded, also looking up to the imposing man at my side. He definitely had the tall, dark, and handsome thing going on, but in a much more menacing manner than the saying usually implied.

To his credit, he extinguished the small flicker of doubt that reflected in his eyes down enough for him to nod at us both. “They do seem to have taken to you, brother. Go on, then.”

Loki took my proffered half-full glass of wine and I stood on my toes to quickly kiss his cheek before I took Thor’s hand. He was determined to make our revelry known, as if all eyes weren’t on us anyway, by stationing us at the center of the dance floor. The live band hired for the event played a catchy, upbeat tune. Thor put one hand on my back, shockingly warm compared to Loki’s, and took my other hand, swinging us around to the beat. It was impossible not to give in to his infectious joy as he danced, looking more carefree than I’d seen him in ages. It took only a few turns and ridiculous dance moves from Thor before I was laughing so hard that my face ached. He wasn’t ever really that uptight around the Compound, but it wasn’t every day that the King of Asgard let loose so completely.

After my dance with Thor was over, Tony smoothly cut in. He made sure to be respectable with his hand resting on the middle of my back, avoiding my scars, the other holding mine lightly.

“Rock of Ages doesn’t look too happy over there,” he said, glancing behind me.

I peeked over my shoulder to see Loki standing where I had left him, arms crossed as he carefully monitored us. The high arch of his brow dared Tony to try anything untoward. I turned back to Tony with a shake of my head. “He gets a little…”

“Possessive? Jealous? Dramatic?” Tony offered with a smirk.

“Concerned,” I supplied, silently agreeing with Tony’s offering. “I don’t mind it.”

Loki couldn’t help it, though. Everything good in his life had been ripped from him, and while we hadn’t discussed it, I knew that Thor had reminded him of the grim fact that my days with him were numbered. The hazards of my position in the Avengers only added another layer of danger to my life. If I were him, if I had suffered as much as he had over those that he cared about, I’d keep me as close as possible, too.

A tall black man dressed in a monochromatic black suit approached his, a wide smile that didn’t reach his eyes plastered on his face as he held out his hand for Tony to shake, which he accepted after releasing me. His eye--for he had an eyepatch covering the scarred socket of the other--only glanced at me before settling back on Tony. “Mr. Stark, so glad to have you come with the rest of your team! I haven’t been introduced to the newest member,” he said jovially, clapping Tony on the upper arm briefly before turning to fully face me.

“Ah, of course. Nick Fury, this is Jennifer Thompson, my former assistant and newest member of the Avengers. Jen, Fury is the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the man that I’ve been speaking to about our current situation with Hydra.” Tony made the introductions politely, but the tightness around his mouth hinted at a tension that he couldn’t disclose in mixed company.

“Pleasure to finally meet you.” His large hand grasped mine for a strong handshake just teetering on painful.

I pulled it away as soon as possible, discreetly folding my hands together in front of me so as to deter any further physical interaction. “The pleasure is all mine, Director Fury.”

“Would you care to dance?” he asked without a smile. The emotion behind his offer was completely opposite to Thor’s earlier. While the golden god had been jovial and bright when he offered, Fury leveled me with a calculating stare that did nothing to hide the evaluation he was bestowing upon me.

I didn’t see how I had a choice in the matter. Not when it came to someone in a position to drastically help us or hurt us, as he saw fit. I plastered a smile on my face that didn’t reach my eyes and settled my hand into his. “Sure!”

If nothing else, I was grateful that Fury followed Tony and Thor’s lead and placed his hand just beneath my ribs on the bare skin of my back, and that his rigid arm held us at a reasonable distance away from one another. All I had to do was get through this dance and then I was heading back to my partner so he could scare off any more threatening men who just felt off in some odd way that I couldn’t pinpoint.

“You have caused quite a ruckus, young lady,” he commented, looking down his nose at me as he led us in slow circles around the dance floor.

“It wasn’t intentional,” I pointed out, doing my best to keep my voice calm and polite. It was working, so far.

“We at S.H.I.E.L.D. have been very curious about what makes you so special that Hydra would want you so badly.”

Exasperation creeped out of where I had poorly tucked it away, “If you ever find out, let me know.”

He turned me out of his arms and then back into him again, pulling me close enough that our chests touched lightly with each breath. I stiffened, but without making a scene I was stuck until the dance was over. “It is odd, if I may say so, that you were just an assistant for Tony and now you’re a member of the Avengers.”

My blood ran cold at the unspoken accusation beneath his words. “What exactly are you trying to say, Fury?”

He dropped his hands from me and shoved them into his pockets with a shrug of his shoulders that didn’t match his icy tone. “Only that it is peculiar for a nobody such as yourself to be thrust into this world, join the Avengers, cosy up with a villain like Loki, and become a target for Hydra all in the span of less than a year.”

I flexed my fingers by my side, and an empty champagne glass flew into my waiting hand without my consciously calling on it. His eye widened as he watched my fingers tighten around it before he smoothed a knowing smirk back onto his face. “Strike a nerve?” he asked, looking far too pleased with himself.

“No,” I tilted my head to the side and stared up at him with barely-restrained anger, “but I could strike one of yours.”

He leaned forward until I could feel his breath on my face, eyes flicking down to the glassware clenched in my fist. “Do it,” he challenged. “Prove to them that you’re the villain I know you are.”

My blood boiled and I was highly cognizant of the power that coursed beneath my skin. He straightened up to fully tower over me with a pleased grin. I clenched my jaw, fighting against my desire to drag him into an abandoned room and make him regret this unsettling conversation when a hand wrapped around my waist and turned me away from Fury.

I jerked my head up, ready to give whoever was holding me a piece of my mind when I realized it was Loki who was quickly leading me away. He brought me to a more crowded area of the dance floor, erasing the lingering feeling of Fury’s hand on my back with his own cool touch, his other pulling the glass from my hand to make it disappear before moving my now empty hand to perch upon his shoulder. Satisfied with how I was positioned, his hand ghosted up my back and the other curled around mine away from our bodies. “They’re watching every move you make,” he cautioned me softly, tracing his concerned gaze over my frowning face.

He guided me around the room in a slow, elegant waltz. It was all I could do to keep up with his graceful movements without stepping on his toes. Thankfully he had enough experience to compensate for my lack of dancing experience. We had both proven our prowess at grinding on each other at the club, but here, he shined. Like this, he was regal, graceful, powerful as he commanded the floor. Warmth filled his eyes as he stared down at me with the barest hint of a kind smile. With his hand cupping my shoulder blade and the other holding mine firmly, I was swept away into the measured rise and fall of our bodies. Somehow, staring into his eyes, trusting him to lead me in the unfamiliar steps, breathing the same air as him in front of so many people, this felt more intimate than any dance we had shared amongst sweaty bodies and thumping bass.

“And how is this any different than them watching me put Fury in his place?” I asked petulantly.

He chuckled and shook his head lightly. “Because that will surely not convince them of your nauseatingly good-natured personality, which I need to use to further my positive reputation among those who wish to see me locked away in prison for all eternity.”

I smacked his shoulder with a laugh.

The mirth fell from his features. His eyes warmed once again with sincerity, and I would’ve sworn up and down that my heart skipped a beat. He spun me away from him fluidly, only to pull me back into his arms with a quick tug on my hand. When I twirled back against him he kept still. His free hand tucked a bit of hair that had fallen from my bun behind my ear, and it curled around the side of my neck to caress my jaw. “In all honesty, I was going mad watching you in the arms of other men. You are the most exquisite woman in attendance tonight. Your impeccable waltz with a dashing prince?” He bent down to leave a tender kiss on my parted lips. “Let that be fodder for the pathetic press.”

How was I supposed to respond to something like that? Thank you for loving me so completely? My fingers rubbed at the smooth fabric of his tuxedo jacket, and after opening and closing my mouth several times hoping that a response would tumble out, all I could manage was, “My Loki.”

Pride raised his chin minutely and the most breathtaking smile tugged on his lips. A pleasant glow flooded through my body and I knew that I had to look like some lovestruck fool beaming up at him, but I didn’t care. The answering adoration shining in his eyes was all that I needed. The clicks of cameras were barely audible over the live band as he gathered me back into his arms to resume the dance.

The intensity of his words lingered in my mind, providing a welcome distraction from the unpleasant conversation with Fury, but not a lengthy one. At the song’s end, he brought us to a stop in the center of the now-deserted dance floor. He maintained eye contact with me as he brought my hand to his lips, brushing a delicate kiss there before bowing at his waist before me. Was he for real? I lowered my chin to my chest in response, curtsying seemed a little too much, and when I lifted my head I caught Fury watching us from behind Loki’s shoulder. He stood out like a sore thumb--analytical and alarming-- among the rest of the crowd that had stopped their mingling and dancing to watch the spectacle of the newest Avengers sweeping across the floor.

I squeezed Loki’s hand and closed the distance between us as another song began, opting for the more comfortable dancing position of high schoolers at prom everywhere, draping one arm around his neck and shifting back and forth on our feet. “I have a bad feeling about him.”

“Did he threaten you?” he questioned darkly after he slowly turned us around to see who I had been referring to.

“I don’t think so. I’m not sure,” I replied hesitantly, inching closer to him so that I could rest my forehead in the crook of his neck. I just wanted to soak up the comfort of his presence for a moment of peace, even if it was just a single moment.

He shifted my hand to his chest so that he could place both of his on my back, stroking the scarred skin with his thumbs as he held me close. I tensed up at the contact on my sensitive marred flesh. He swept his hands up to cover the majority of the scars, his touch gentle but unyielding. “They are part of you. They show your strength.”

“That’s what Nat said,” I muttered, lost in thought. I closed my eyes and willed the sway of our bodies and the beat of his heart to banish the crawling of my skin from the talk with Fury. Surely if Tony had been working with him to track down Hydra he couldn’t be all bad? Maybe he was like the rest of the onlookers and was trying to see what made me tick. He was the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. and he would want to know more about me as such. He had to protect the people from any threats, and I wasn’t out of the woods on that front yet. Plus, my abilities were still not well known, and the public was itching for more information about me.

They were already getting plenty of details on my relationship with Loki, if him rescuing me from that conversation, leading me in a stunning beautiful waltz, and cradling me close to his body as we swayed back and forth were any indication. He wasn’t known for public displays of affection; he had a reputation as a stone-cold badass to uphold. But Fury wouldn’t care about that, except for what it meant concerning Loki’s alleged redemption and my role in it.

My train of thought was derailed when Loki stopped swaying and dug his fingertips into my skin roughly. I opened my eyes and craned my neck to look up at him. The rage and alarm that burned in his eyes as he stared at something behind me set my heart racing in my chest.

“Go find Thor and stay with him,” he commanded, storming off quickly towards the exit.

I was never one to follow directions to the letter. I looked around the room, spotting the big muscled man talking to someone pleasantly and holding a beer. Not wanting to waste time closing the distance between us I reached out, curling my fingers toward me so that the beer left his hand and flew into mine, dodging people and sloshing a bit of the fizzy liquid onto the floor on the way. He looked up in alarm and traced its path to see me watching him urgently. I set the drink on the tray of a passing waiter and jerked my head in the direction that Loki had gone before walking as quickly as I could after him. Best not to make a scene, even if we were stealing the limelight for most of the evening.

Thor caught up with me before I’d even reached the exit. “What is wrong?”

I didn’t slow down. If he wanted to have this conversation he was going to have to speed walk and talk with me. I only barely caught sight of the heel of Loki’s shoe as he turned the corner. Damn, he’s fast. “Loki told me to find you and stay with you. So that’s what I’m doing.”

“I do not believe this is what he had in mind,” he reasoned. His hand encircled my wrist to stop me from rushing after Loki.

I whirled around to face him. “Whatever he is chasing is obviously dangerous if he wants to keep me away from it. Now, do you want to leave him to face it alone or do you want to come with me to see what it is? I will go through you to get to him if I have to,” I threatened, flexing my hands just enough so that the metal supports around the windows behind us creaked in response. He may be almost a foot taller than me, a god with the power to smite me down where I stood, and a man I was beginning to call a friend once again, but I would fight him tooth and nail to get outside to stand by Loki’s side in whatever he had gone off to confront. “I’m not leaving him.”

Indecision warred on his face, his blue eye flicking between me and the exit to the building several times. The choice was made for him, however, when a great roar followed by a flash of green light came from outside, lighting up the large room through the windows.

“Loki!” he bellowed, sprinting outside.

I did my best to follow, but my legs were restricted by my long, tight dress. Frustrated, I snagged a glass from a woman as she walked by and smashed it on the floor. I used one of the shards to cut a slit on both sides of the dress, ignoring the cuts it left on my hand as I ripped at the slits until they reached my knees.

It was such a pretty dress, too.

Not what’s important right now. Focus, idiot.

Now free to move, I bolted outside, my eyes straining to find Loki. I barely heard Tony fly up behind me; the jets of his suit were a mere whisper against the blood rushing in my ears as I searched the darkness.

There. He was kneeling over the body of a man, his leathers covered in blood and growing dirtier with each powerful blow of his fist that he slammed into the man’s face. Thor was at his side in an instant, wrapping an arm around him and tossing him off and away from the man. He put his arms around Loki’s chest when he lurched to his feet to go back to his brutal task.

“Unhand me, brother!”

Trusting Thor to keep Loki contained, I ran over to the still figure on the ground, falling to my knees by his side. His face was an unrecognizable mess of blood and tissue that made me gag. I was forced to look away to compose myself. My watery eyes fell upon the cane the man held limply: thin, black, with the Hydra symbol along the side. A muffled groan came from the man below me, blood bubbling from his mouth as he tried to speak.

Kneeling on a cold concrete floor. Flashes of never-ending pain as a cane whipped across my back again and again. This man ordering my torture as he held it at his side.

Malfoy.

I snatched the cane from his slack hand, bringing it behind me and then bringing it down against the side of his head with it with all of my might. A feral cry between a sob and a scream tore through my painted lips. The sickening sound of wood meeting pulverized flesh would forever haunt me. But it wasn’t enough. I snapped the cane in half over my thigh, and with another agonized cry, shoved both jagged ends into his chest.

I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt warm arms wrap around me. A tiny part of my brain told me not to attack Thor as he pulled me away from the grisly scene. Loki stood in front of me, wiping away my tears with his thumbs as he cradled my face in tender blood-stained hands.

“It’s over, love. It’s over,” he soothed, gently drawing me away from Thor to cradle my head against his chest. The blood on his leather armor seeped into my thin dress and raised goosebumps on my skin in conjunction with his cool touch, but I didn’t want to pull away. His presence was a balm on the overwhelming emotions swirling within me.

“Guys, now’s not the time,” Tony warned, landing heavily next to us. I looked up from where I had been staring blankly at Loki’s chest to take in the gathering crowd of people watching us with horrified expressions. Even worse were the photographers pushing their way through as they did their best to get a picture of the dead man and his murderers.

Shit.

“Can you conceal this?” I questioned quietly, leaving his arms to stand in between the crowd and the corpse behind me. As if that was going to help anything.

“They have already seen it,” he answered, staring down the throng coming closer with a wary expression in his eyes.

“You two get her out of here,” Tony instructed, flying forward to stop the incoming crowd before it could get any closer.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught the rest of the gala guests spilling out of the building, including the rest of the Avengers. Oncoming sirens sounded through the roar of the shocked crowd as news of what we had done traveled through them. I stayed silent as I fought to remain present. Even when forced to face the reality of having killed a man in cold blood, it was a better alternative than to descend into painful memories that Malfoy’s reappearance attempted to trigger.

Loki’s right. It’s over.

White-hot fire tore across my bicep. My shocked cry pierced my ears and the world moved in slow motion as my heart rate kicked up a notch in my chest. I looked down to see blood pouring down my arm, staining my alabaster skin red beneath the black lace. Arms wrapped around me, cushioning my head against wet leather as we tumbled to the frigid ground. Screams and gunshots sounded into the night. I tilted my head to see who had pushed me down, only to meet Loki’s narrowed eyes with my own.

The pulsing pain in my arm brought me back to reality, and Loki knelt over me, daggers materializing in his hands as he quickly took in the chaotic situation. Bullets whizzed passed us; the few that hit their mark bounced off of his armor uselessly. He needed protection. My searching eyes landed on the marble facade of the museum. It was difficult sprawled on the ground, but I grunted and arched my back with the effort of ripping a piece of thick stone from the wall, following the natural fissures of the rock to lessen the strain on my powers. I directed it in front of the largest concentration of civilians to deter any wayward bullets as they fled the scene. My flexed arm held it in place while I traced the bullets back to their source, barely able to make out dozens of men coming toward us from the shadows, the Hydra symbol barely visible on their bullet-proof vests.

“For fuck’s sake!” I yelled, getting to my knees beside Loki. It wouldn’t do to try to fight this fight prone beneath him.

“Get the civilians out of here!” Steve yelled, jumping into the fray.

After that, I was forced to focus on myself as another bullet lodged itself in the meat of my thigh. I let out a shriek of pain, pulling the marble previously used as a shield for long-gone bystanders over to protect myself and Loki. Peering from behind it, I could make out even more Hydra men approaching; the glint of their weapons caught the incoming blue and red emergency lights.

With a low groan, I strained all of the muscles in my body and ripped a deep hole in the earth beneath a small group of men advancing on Wanda and Vision. I didn’t watch as they fell into it, moving onto the next batch, but I heard their screams suddenly cut off as I closed the hole back up.

They wouldn’t be shooting at me or anyone I loved anymore.

Nat shouted out somewhere behind me, and I could only hope that she was okay as a man charged me from the darkness to my left. A green-lit dagger pierced his chest courtesy of Loki who was standing to my right. There was no time to thank him as several men ambushed us at once.

Loki’s savage grunts sounded in my ears as he went to work dispatching two men at the same time, the whirl of his cloak moving quickly in the night. I reacted on instinct to the first man who charged me, reaching out and clutching his gun in my bleeding fist just as it fired. I barely registered the burn it left on my hand and the bullet that barely missed my ear as I willed the metal to distort and meld together beneath my touch. I used the now-useless hunk of metal to hit the man in the temple, knocking him out cold.

My brain shut down and I became a machine. Each punch, kick, and use of my powers was done without thought. I sent men falling into deep chasms that I ripped into the ground, crushed them beneath broken hunks of marble, and pinned them beneath thick tree roots under my command and twisted bits of metal rent from police cars and nearby benches. The scent of iron filled my flared nostrils and screams of pain and gunshots rang in my ears. Each flare of agony throughout my body was ignored because if I gave any of it even a second of my attention, it could very well be the very last thought I had.

Above it all, I picked up on the piercing wail of a child. I searched for the cause frantically. There! Passed Wanda, who was throwing a man away from her in a wave of red light, was a little boy, crying as he huddled behind a bush. Casting one glance around to pinpoint where the majority of the Hydra agents were, I sprinted away, my hands twisting in the air as I willed the bush to grow and wrap around him. Seconds felt like an eternity until I was sliding to the ground before him, tearing up my knees and shins on small rocks and twigs. The branches parted for my grasping hands so I could pull the boy ensconced within free. He hung onto me desperately, burying his face in my neck as he sobbed. I curled my torso around his as best I could, remaining crouched as I pressed my back into the building and looked around for whoever he belonged to.

“It’s okay. You’re safe, just close your eyes. You’re safe with me,” I chanted into his ear, my hands protecting his head and supporting his bottom.

Finally, I spotted a frantic man shouting around the edge of the building. Nobody without a severe hero complex would risk such danger unless they had a damn good reason. Taking a chance that my instincts were right, I ran along the edge of the wall until I got to him.

He ripped the tiny child from my arms to hold him to his chest. “Timmy! Thank goodness!” he sobbed, meeting my eyes in a quick show of gratitude before dashing off into the night.

That issue resolved, I needed to find Loki. I scoured the battlefield lit up in a constant strobe of blue and red emergency lights, and white lightning for my dashing god in black and green. When I finally found him, battling gracefully against two men, it was just in time to watch a third man dash up behind him.

He drew a large knife from his thigh, quickly reached around Loki, and impaled it into his stomach.

Loki ripped the knife from his body and shoved it into the neck of the man in front of him with a feral snarl, letting loose a torrent of blood from them both. And then he fell to his knees, one hand clutching at the hole in his abdomen while the other threw the remaining two men back with a burst of green light.

I barely registered that the anguished scream that echoed throughout the night came from my own raw throat. My arms shot out to my sides, sending a shockwave through the ground that expanded out from me in a fast-moving circle. It knocked down all who were still standing as it reached them. When the wave came to Loki I threw my hand out, using its momentum to rip the ground beneath his knees away from the rest of the soil and hover in the air. I pulled my arms into my chest, sending the circle of thick soil--and the man on top of it--soaring to my side. My hands rose above my head and a wall of dirt as high as my waist shot up around us, shielding us from harm.

Loki struggled to stand, but he was too weak and fell back against the dirt wall with a pained cough. He trembled as he fought against blood loss and pain. “It seems… that I-I am injured,” he said, trying to smile but failing as his lips twisted to release a shaky gasp.

I dropped to my knees at his side, gathering his hands and holding them over his wound. Were they always this cold or had he already lost too much blood?

“You’re okay, you’re okay. It’s fine, you’re okay,” I stammered, tears thick in my throat and clouding my vision as my hands pressed against his to try to stem the bleeding.

“Battle suits you, l-litte one,” he choked out, a drop of blood spilling out of his mouth to roll down his chin. “What a shame-”

“Nope, cut that shit out. I’ve got you. I’m not allowing you to die, remember? Just hold your annoying ass on,” I commanded, refusing to let him say anything that even remotely resembled a goodbye. He wasn’t dying. I wouldn’t let him. He could stop bullets and one blade was what finally got to him? Unacceptable.

I fought the fear clawing at my chest, standing up from behind my barricade. I allowed myself one last moment of weakness to glance at Loki slumped against the barrier, breathing shallowly with his eyes closed, his brow furrowed.

Anger unlike anything I'd ever known slammed into me, setting fire to my blood and causing an electric green light to glow in my eyes and over my clenched bloodied fists.

It was easy enough to summon a jagged piece of metal from a broken street sign. Easier still to send that makeshift dagger through the neck of the nearest man. And then the one nearest to him. And again and again. I moved in an intricate dance above Loki until the only men left were fighting my fellow Avengers. Once I helped dispose of the last man Thor had been fighting--conductive metal plus lightning does quite a bit of damage--I screamed his name into the night, bringing the God of Thunder running to my side.

“No. No-no-no-no,” Thor cried, sliding one hand behind Loki’s neck and placing the other hand over his, applying pressure to the large wound in his midsection.

With one last burst of energy, I knocked down the wall of dirt that I had constructed so that the others could easily see us. Tears slid down my dirty and bloody face and sobs tore at my throat as I knelt back down beside Thor who was clutching Loki to his chest. My right hand tangled in his raven hair and my left pressed over Thor’s in what felt like a futile gesture.

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t move.

I couldn’t do anything besides stare down at the ashen face of my love.

Please, please, not him.

[thecarmillacurator]

Your Mom Called, You Left Your Game At Home - Carmilla Fic Review & Recommendation

*New Reviews Posted Every Saturday with one-shots and drabble recommendations Mid-Week*

Title: Your Mom Called, You Left Your Game At Home (Softball AU)

Author: catmilla on Ao3, @chaoticbecky  on Tumblr

Word Count: 127K

Chapters: 20

Rating: Mostly Teen but with Mature scenes

Ship: Hollstein

Tags I’d Assign: #softball au #rivals to lovers #enemies to lovers

Author’s Synopsis: softball au in which laura and carmilla are pitchers on "rival" softball teams in the silas parks and recreation softball league. laura takes this very seriously, carmilla does not. laura hates carmilla, carmilla loves riling laura up. laura has a strict (personal) rule against not fraternizing with the enemy (save for her best bro kirsch that carmilla stole for her team on purpose) so, what happens when a dry spell, a losing streak, and a very flirtatious carmilla all finally culminate to laura's breaking point?? read and find out!

Readability: Easy. Reading level and narrative flow make this 127k novel feel more like 80k, so it’s an enjoyably fast read considering the length. In the first part of the story, there are punctuation issues relating to dialog: I.e. Using commas at the end of dialog, within the quotation, but then capitalizing the start of the attribution or descriptive text that goes with it, or else using a period within the dialog quote when it should be a comma because there is still attribution/descriptive text to follow.  However, eventually the brain gets used to it and it stops being distracting. There are also some “it’s/its” typos, and a few sentences where the author switches up to present tense when, given the context, it should probably be future tense. But again, overall, it’s very easy to read. 

Reviewer’s Plot Summary: The definitive (at least to date) Hollstein Softball AU. Laura Hollis’ life is in a bit of a slump, which is why she’s obsessed with leading her city league softball team to a repeat Championship season of glory. Unfortunately, her team can’t stop sucking. Enter Carmilla Karnstein, captain of their rival team, who lives (and loves) to rile Laura up. Only, there’s history there. Six years earlier, they’d led their highschool softball team to a State Championship season with their mutually stellar pitching skills, and the older Karnstein- who had been a bitch and a bully to Laura as a teammate- had gotten all the glory. Laura still hates her for that, and also for what happened between them at the Championship game’s afterparty. Which is why, as Carmilla now flirts and taunts her into a (fr)enemies-with-benefits situation, Laura is ill-equipped to handle evidence that the object of her hatred doesn’t actually hate her back. In fact, for Carmilla, it’s not her team’s standings that matter: It’s the three-balls-and-two-strikes count where it comes to her heart.

Recommended to Read:  Yes. It’s by far my favorite softball AU across any fandom I follow.

Review:  There are some conceptual cons to this novel for me, and yet, rereading it never feels like a chore. One half-enemies to lovers, one-half unrequited love, it’s a recreational softball league romance that brings in the feel-good dynamic of the whole gang (Laf, Perry, Danny, Kirsch, Will), a good mix of angst and fluff, and the fun, competitive nature of sports rivalries.  The 

story is written in third person limited (primarily), with Laura as the narrative focus. Also, if you happen to be a Pitch Perfect fan, there will be a few subtle (very, very subtle) Easter eggs for you. 

The Con [Edited]: This time, I’m going to put the negative first and simply address it as a “con” rather than “concrit” because I don’t want to put people off reading it (READ IT!), and also, I can’t fairly call it as much “constructive” criticism as personal preference.  But here it is: This is not my favorite version of Laura. For my taste, she is a little too much of “a raging bad person” to Carm. 

My issue lies only in my personal moral/relationship tastes, not in something about the story itself, so just take that worth a grain of salt. And, further, there *is* a backstory that explains Laura’s dislike of Carmilla and her difficulty in changing her own opinion. (Although, I would have loved to seen some flashback scenes to their time playing high school softball together. I think it would have been exciting, and also made Laura’s tight grip on her hatred a little more fleshed out.)  Finally, I easily concede that upon rereading YMCYLYGAH for this review, I made a conscious effort to try and ‘listen’ to this version of Laura’s words and thoughts in my mind’s ear with a view towards favoring heavy sarcasm rather than the vitriolic hate I took it as during my first read. It helped a lot.  And, in fact, it may simply be that I just wasn’t getting it the first time around.

The Good:  I *love* softball AUs.  (Did I mention I really like softball AUs?) This story has great energy. It does a beautiful job balancing the tension of the softball season with the tension of the relationship plot. The balance between what happens in the main characters’ lives outside of both of those things is also nearly expertly done; there’s exactly enough to make the story and world feel sufficiently fleshed out, but not so much that it drags the plot or pacing down.  There are two subplots, one for each Laura and Carmilla, that come into the story at exactly the right relative timings in Act II, both of which weave well into the fabric of the main story to support it without coming off as contrived. The minor characters, likewise, have a perfect ratio of being present and mattering, without becoming distracting. (I appreciate the fact that Danny isn’t an overbearing jerk. #dannydeservedbetter) 

Ah hem. Here, also allow me to gush for a minute over catmilla’s Carm. How hard she falls for Laura is so adorable. How thoughtful she can be is cute. The fluffiness of her- which Laura refuses to see- is so sweet that it’s tangibly cotton candy. You root for her. And at times, you *hurt* for her. (Which is probably why I had such a hard time with this Laura, because, “Dammit, Jim, WHY DOESN’T LAURA JUST ADORE CARM BACK??!!”) Yet, this Carm keeps swinging for the fence because she’s so in love. Ungh. 

Also,something I always enjoy as a reader, and which I believe is a hallmark of really good storytelling, is when location has a pivotal and evolving role in the plot. Here, it’s the softball field. The author does a great job covering in-game action while not devoting a distracting number of scenes to it. But cleverly, she also made so much *more* happen and orbit around the field that without it, the love story itself wouldn’t exist and wouldn’t be nearly as fun. It is sometimes a wing-man, sometimes a foe. It is sometimes a dance floor, and sometimes a war zone.  Day and night, heat or cold, I’ll just hijack the saying, “In life as in [soft]ball, all good things happen at home.”

In conclusion, it’s an easy, satisfying read with laughs, tension, fluff, angst, and sex that isn’t overly smutty. 

Oh, and did I mention? 

Carm gets the girl.

NEXT IN THE QUE:  Vampire Hotel by Jenocide (Ao3) / @heyjenocide  (Tumblr)

[sirladysketch]

Another drabble for Compilations! This one pushes the fic firmly into the realm of AkuRoku, so enjoy!

Please note-- these are all first drafts, any minor spelling and typo issues will be dealt with when this finally gets posted to AO3.

“Something bugging you?”

Roxas jumps as the unexpected voice startles him from his thoughts, and he has to catch himself before he drops the ice cream onto the unsuspecting people below. When he’s made sure that nothing is in imminent danger of falling from the tower, he turns and Lea nudges him with his shoulder.

“You just have this weird expression on your face, like you’re not happy about something. Someone say something to you?”

“Oh,” Roxas says, then lowers his ice cream. Something is bothering him, but he can’t figure out how to talk to Lea about it, and that bothers him even more. He chews on his bottom lip, stalling for time. “I’m not unhappy.”

“Yeah, I can tell you’re ecstatic,” Lea says with a roll of his eyes, and Roxas flushes, looking down and away. “Seriously, though,” Lea continues. “Is there something on your mind?”

When Roxas still hesitates, Lea sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose with one hand as he lowers his ice cream bar in the other. “Look, I meant what I said, ok? If you have questions for me, just ask. I’m not gonna bite your head off or yell at you or anything. No stupid questions and all that.”

Lea’s said that a couple of times now, and he’s right, he’s never gotten angry at Roxas for asking questions. There were a few times that he got sad, once that he got confused, but never angry. Roxas knows he can trust Lea to be good to his word-- he can feel it, even if memories of Axel are still hazy, half-remembered things.

Still, it’s not like he can just up and say “Did Roxas ever kiss you?”

...He didn’t actually mean to ask that out loud.

Lea stares at him open mouthed, his ice cream bar halfway to his mouth. He does that when Roxas asks questions, takes a bit of food or drink or something so he can ‘chew’ on the question, so to speak, before he answers. But Roxas got the question out before the ice cream got in, and now its melted drips are falling unnoticed onto Lea’s thigh. Roxas flushes, looks down, and mumbles “nevermind” before taking a bite out of his own bar.

But the question has been bugging him for weeks now, more so now that Lea will actually talk to him. At first he thought it might have been an initial contact high from soaking in so much heat when he first woke up (coupled with the pretty face). Lea’s abrupt departure had hurt, but Roxas had chalked it up to his initial confusion and the overwhelming emotions of what had to be the worst day of his life. Granted, technically it had been the first day of his life, too, but after the initial shock and fear and overall confusion he’d felt in the days to follow, Lea continued to be a sore point, almost like an empty hole in his heart.

In the weeks that followed, hearing about things the other Roxas had done, trying to sort dreams from memories, figuring out who he was in all of this-- he’d analyzed everything he knew of Roxas before he went into the data simulation with everything he’d felt since being created. And, unfortunately, he’d come up with only one viable conclusion: Roxas had liked Axel.

Every story had Roxas and Axel laughing about this, or talking about that. Ienzo had hinted that Roxas followed Axel around like a puppy long after his initial confusion and ‘zombie days’ were over. Even thinking about Lea-- or rather, Axel-- left him with a strange warmth and sharp pain. He’d spent a lot of sleepless nights thinking about what the other Roxas would’ve done in this situation, and even more wondering if Lea thought of Axel as the other himself, too.

And now that they’re finally talking-- about ‘Axel’ stuff, nothing about how he feels now that he’s Lea again-- Roxas can’t help but wonder if Axel had known about Roxas’ crush, and if he had, if Lea thinks it disappeared with whatever version of Roxas he’s been keeping in his heart.

Lea’s still dodgy about some topics, and when Roxas asks about certain things or says certain words, Lea clams up and leaves, or worse, he gets sad.That’s why Roxas hadn’t meant to say that. If Axel and Roxas had been kissing, or… more (and he blushes even thinking this) then Roxas had just given him yet another reminder of something he’s lost. It also explains why Lea was so upset when Roxas turned out not to be who he thought-- who he’d hoped he would be.

Now he can feel Lea staring at him and his blush darkens, his cheeks hot and no doubt bright red. He’s an idiot and Lea’s going to get angry-- or even worse, he might make fun of him and Roxas isn’t sure he can take that. But when he finally steals a glance, Lea’s expression is unreadable. He seems tense, like he’s just gonna get up and leave again, and Roxas shrinks in on himself a little, wishing he’d kept his mouth shut.

“No…?”

The reply is soft and tinged with... something. Lea looks confused, but he almost sounds sad and Roxas isn’t sure why that would be.

“Oh,” he says instead, and looks down at his ice cream again. “I think he probably wanted to. I mean, based on everything I’ve heard, and what I can remember,” he admits as an afterthought, then takes another bite of his ice cream.

Lea doesn’t have anything to say to that, he’s just sort of staring at his hands with the oddest expression on his face. Roxas feels…. relieved isn’t the right word, but he’s glad to know that he didn’t forget something like that, something that might hurt Lea if he had to remember it all on his own. He wonders if he should feel embarrassed, admitting the other Roxas’ feelings when there’s no way for Axel to do anything about it now, but he doesn’t, because the other Roxas’ feelings are his feelings, and Lea’s told him he needs to stay true to his heart.

He licks his lips, thinking that over, and looks over at Lea again.

“Can I kiss you?”

Lea blinks for a minute and just stares at him, expression blank. Roxas swallows. He’d just assumed that since Axel had been so close to Roxas and Lea had worked so hard to bring him back that the feelings were probably mutual. That it would be fine talking about how much Roxas liked Axel, because Axel-- and now, maybe Lea-- had liked him back. But maybe Axel hadn’t felt anything for Roxas because he hadn’t had a heart, at least, not a real one, so maybe Roxas’ feelings had been one-sided after all.

Then Lea laughs, and something shifts in Roxas’ chest, because Lea is smiling at him and suddenly nothing else matters.

“I dunno, can you?”

That’s...not the answer he expected, but at the same time, it’s not a ‘no.’ He feels his cheeks burn as he looks into Lea’s eyes, trying to gauge if Lea is serious or if he’s making fun of him. But there’s no hint of derision and Lea’s leaned in a bit, almost as though he’s daring Roxas to give it a try.

“W-what?” he asks, wondering if he’s misunderstanding something, or if Lea’s going to tease him about this because he doesn’t actually return the feelings.

Lea grins, then nudges him again. “I dunno if you can or not. You’re kinda short, can you even reach?”

Roxas blinks. Twice. Then-- “I can too reach, shut up! I’m not that short, you’re just freakishly tall!”

“Prove it.” Lea’s still smiling, really smiling, like, it’s reached his eyes and even though he’s got his shit-eating grin on Roxas can feel the warmth radiating off of him. He’s watching Roxas expectantly and Roxas can feel his heart picking up speed, hear a distant ringing in his ears as his attention focuses on crossing the gap between them. Lea is pretty tall, he’s got almost eight inches on Roxas even when they’re sitting down, and even though they’re sitting pretty close together, it’s still gonna be a bit of a stretch.

Roxas half turns towards Lea, putting a hand on Lea’s thigh for leverage and sucking in breath a bit when he feels Lea’s heat through the fabric. Apparently he hadn’t been delusional that first day he woke up, Lea really did feel like a furnace. A very sexy furnace, sure, one that’s muscles tightened under Roxas’ touch. But Lea hasn’t broken eye contact, although his expression has softened, and Roxas watches his face for some hint of what’s going through his head.

He’s so focused on Lea that he doesn’t notice that in turning more towards Lea, he’s actually sliding off the edge of the clock tower. The lack of stone under his butt doesn’t even register until there’s a sudden weightlessness, followed by a painful yank as Lea shouts and grabs him by the arm and under the shoulder. There’s a scramble for purchase against the smooth face of the stone and then Lea’s hauling him back over the edge, where Lea falls flat on his back with Roxas pulled tight against him.

With his head pressed up against Lea’s chest, Roxas can feel the pounding of Lea’s heart as they both draw in rapid, shallow pants. And then, once they’ve managed to catch their breaths, Lea starts to laugh, a fast, almost wild thing, and Roxas shakes in laughter with him, smiling now that his body’s realized that it’s safe and not plummeting towards a grisly death.

Somehow those eight inches don’t seem all that intimidating now, so he squirms in Lea’s arms until they’re loosened, and uses the freedom to slide the rest of the way up Lea’s chest and bring his face more or less level with Lea’s.

The kiss is tentative. Just a quick brushing of lips, testing, tasting, trying to see if this is all really real, or if he’s going to wake up all alone in his bed, the bed that he’d stolen from Lea, apparently.

Lea makes a noise and he loosens his hold on Roxas even more, which makes Roxas pull away, worried that he’s taken something that wasn’t really being offered. But Lea’s only let go so he could move one hand to the small of Roxas’ back, pressing him closer, while the other runs fingers through Roxas’ hair as it makes its way to the back of his neck.

Lea encourages him down for a second kiss, and this one lasts longer, though the touching of lips is no less delicate, and somehow even more tender, as though Lea is afraid that Roxas will break if he’s too forceful in his touch.

That leaves it up to Roxas to make the third kiss more enthusiastic, and he presses his whole body against Lea’s as he leaves open mouthed kisses along Lea’s jawline. Lea lets out a soft sigh, his fingers kneading the back of Roxas’ neck while his other hand finds its way under Roxas’ shirt and up his spine.

Lea is molten under his touch, all languid heat curled into long muscled limbs, soft and inviting despite his angles and sharp edges. Roxas soaks it all in, reveling in how easily he fits against Lea, and feeling the familiar tingle of magic that’s unique to the sharing of memories and emotions. He’s used to feeling it in his hands, where he holds onto Sora, Ven, and the others while they tell him about things that were. But here, so close to Lea, his skin tingles at the contact of skin on skin, and Lea’s fingers and mouth leave trails along his skin that are almost numb with pleasure.

They end up laying on the stone balcony for some time after they finally break apart, although Roxas eventually slides off Lea’s chest to tuck up against him, head resting on Lea’s shoulder. It’s peaceful, so high above the sounds of city life and traffic, and Roxas realizes that he’s never seen this view of the sky, with its muted colors of sunset and the bright pinpricks of stars. It’s beautiful, and he gets to share it with Lea, their own personal secret.

“Getting me on my back is cheating, y’know,” Lea says after their breathing has leveled out. Roxas can hear the smile in his voice, and he tilts his head back to see Lea wink at him.

“I’ll just have to try again later, then,” Roxas promises, and Lea’s grin widens.

“You can certainly try,” he laughs.

[kyotakumrau]

lynch. - natalie interview, 2018.02.02 

Original interview: You Masuda Original version can be seen here

 kyotaku: if you notice any mistakes, typos etc please let me know! :)  

Akinori returns. Due to his arrest for the violation of Cannabis Control Law in November of 2016, he left the band the same year. But about a year later his come back was announced when he appeared during the encore at the show held in their hometown, 'lynch. COUNTDOWN LIVE 「2017-2018」'. With this the band will be once again reorganized as a 5 person unit at their 13th anniversary show 'lynch. 13th ANNIVERSARY-XIII GALLOWS- 「THE FIVE BLACKEST CROWS」' which will be held on March 11th at Makuhari Messe. Before that show takes place, Natalie talks with the 4 members about their activities during this year when they collaborated with various support bassists. We talked about the whole story leading to the announcement of Akinori's return, their enthusiasm towards participating at Messe with 5 members and their vision of lynch.'s future.

Akinori's return announced with the beginning of 2018 

 －Akinori's return has become official at the countdown show in Nagoya. It must have been the first year's end like that ever. 

葉月: Yeah. There was so much to do. Way too many things on that day, as I was running around keeping up with them and suddenly it was midnight! It didn't really feel like year's end. I have participated in the countdown events before, but it was a first oneman concert for us. Usually on New Year's Eve I would be drinking at some events or watching TV shows with family at home (laughing). This time Akinori made the announcement near midnight, but to be honest we weren't sure if the timing will work out that way. There were many things to be done for the official return, somehow we managed to tie it all together until suddenly it was the time for the announcement, personally I was very nervous. First, we didn't know how fans would react. They could have accepted it or gotten angry booing us from the stage. Also we were starting the show worrying to the point of thinking 'what should we do if suddenly the sound of Akinori's bass doesn't appear here?'. And performance wise his appearance on stage was also quite artistic. 

－That's true. Only 4 members had appeared in the Makuhari Messe trailer that was screened last year in August at Yaon, but the version from the countdown show had an extra scene with Akinori added. Exactly at the same time, Hitoki (from Kuroyume), who was acting as a support bassist for the first part of the concert, had handed the bass to Akinori. It was very touching. 

葉月: The footage used my idea, but it was Hitoki who proposed to hand the bass to Akinori. I think it made the majority of fans happy. Of course I know it's not like everyone accepts it, but seeing the response on twitter etc I think there are many positive comments. Having said that, I don't have a feeling like 'I did it!' or 'I might have done something wrong'. I greeted 2018 with a strange sensation like that. I feel calm in a way. 

 What all members decided with the same intention. 

 －How was it for you, Asanao? 

晁直: Since it was decided that Akinori will announce his return at the countdown show, obviously there was some anxiety. Even when his announcement was done I couldn't judge if that was the right way to do it or not. But even saying that, I think the normal way of simply announcing it would be wrong. Maybe some people were convinced by the way it was presented including the video, surely there were also some people who felt judgmental, but I think that was the best choice at that moment. I guess there will be some criticism no matter what. But doing the announcement this way, I hope it made everyone happy. It might be better to say that's how I'm trying to think (laughing). 

悠介: For me the countdown show was the start of the preparation for Makuhari Messe. So to be honest I wasn't much aware of AK's return announcement. Even as he made his announcement there, it will be Makuhari on March 11th when he will really be back. So I was trying not to think how it will be until then. －You said on the stage at the countdown show that it was not the true 'welcome back'. Was it said with this meaning behind it? 

悠介: This as well, but also I think it will be a really tough path for him and us having him coming back. Of course I don't know what the future will bring, but there is a chance it will be like that (bad). I want to say 'welcome back' again when everyone will reach the welcoming feeling, even if it will not become 100% like that. So anyway, each and every his action will be judged now and used to rebuild the trust, so I will be watching him strictly (be severe). 

玲央: There was that super nervous feeling about the performance that day, 'Akinori is coming to play today'. As Hazuki said, it felt like we couldn't fail, the atmosphere was quite different from the usual. To tell the truth, that day Akinori and I were the first ones to enter the venue with the staff. I thought that it was quite different to him coming later because he did something that forced him to leave [the band]. 'There will be a longer waiting at the venue, but I will ride too' – with that he rode in the same car with me to the venue. It was really tense when we were getting in. 

―The atmosphere was like that. 

玲央: Even as I made plan according to Hazuki's idea, it wasn't for Akinori, I thought it would be a wonderful thing for the fans who were waiting for him. I think Akinori himself understood this intention and accepted the plan for the stage, there was not a trace of misunderstanding that the whole thing was prepared for him. Naturally, there is also the reality of 'he's not back yet' as Yusuke said. So it was really a strange, complicated feeling. At the time Akinori was neither a band member nor a guest, nor a support bassist. He was sitting in the dressing room aaaaaall day long (laughing). But there's no mistake that all of us including him had the very same intention being at that place. 

 Upon a careful judgement: punishment, restart, return. 

 －Obviously there was no feeling like 'he's back, yay!'. Actually, you could not feel the atmosphere on the stage at all. 

葉月: I think so. When being asked 'you were preparing for his return for a long time, right?', of course we were, including the footage that accompanied the whole plan for the stage. If you worry about everything you're not able to do anything... actually, I was preparing. I didn't know if we would be able to go with the plan until the last moment. I was preparing while waiting for the decision, when we got the ok we started acting immediately, getting things like images ready. It might have ended with the second part of the promotional footage (part with AK) never being shown to the world. 

―Of course there were many issues to consider or adjust, including the situation in your office (label). If I were to put it businesslike, would it be accurate to say 'Akinori showed enough remorse through the whole 2017'? 

葉月: That's right. But he will only become a proper member from March 11th. We just wanted to make the announcement in advance. There will be people who will think 'I want to go if Akinori'll be there', surely they will be people who will think the opposite. We wanted to give fans the time to think about it. 

－Thus there are 70 days from the announcement to the day of the show. It might be a somewhat hard question, but weren't there originally any objections within the band about Akinori's return? 

葉月: Saying that, even before that Akinori himself was in a state where he couldn't decide if he wants to be in lynch. or not. 

－Even as one wants to do something wholeheartedly, considering various aspects related to the issue they might think they should quit. 

葉月: True, just being in front of people will be quite scary. As soon as he became able to go outside I first invited him for a drink. I asked him 'I'd like to eventually return [where we were], but how about you?' He wasn't able to answer then. So I couldn't talk to the other members or management about bringing him back. 

玲央: That was probably the end of December of 2016. Starting from January in 2017, we have gathered once a month together with our staff to discuss the future of lynch. Firstly, for how long should we pause our own activities and so on. And during those talks came the request from Hazuki: 'I want to bring Akinori back if possible. Even if we lose our contract with the record company, I want to bring him back'. 

－There were such talks when Akinori just left. 

玲央: Yet as the result of our many talks we had decided it would be an ingratitude to leave our company that we were indebted to since our major debut with such reasons. We have arrived at a conclusion that we could let the company consider the ideas properly while we get support members, release some music and play shows. It was not about being able to move ahead when there were disagreements, rather it was about that Akinori would lose his place upon coming back if we had forced to proceed. So until we would be able to have talks about this, we just had to try our best first. Adding one more thing, it wasn't meant as a purification, but our staff came with a plan 'how about having him act like an apprentice/intern for some period of time?'. 

 ... He's an idiot. 

 －Giving him work similar to being a roadie, like an apprentice/probation member? 

玲央: Yeah. I think the idea itself makes sense. By adding a reasonable distance from the band you can avoid losing things like one's good sense. However, we were worried that if fans saw him they wouldn't tolerate that. Instead by having him separated from the stage and music activities we had him realize how much influence he got over the band. And also realize the appreciation, the greatness of being able to do music activities. Precisely because I thought it's something obvious, that there will be some errors made. 

葉月: He obviously messed up, but I felt that if he wants to be back I want to have him back. Even though we are a band that didn't have a bassist for a long time in our indies days, but he has made a place for himself in this band. Honestly speaking, for about a year we had multiple support bassists working with us, during that time the sense that Akinori is missing slowly got dimmer and dimmer. 

－It was like that. 

葉月: Saying that, I could again keenly feel the 'excellence of a great performer' as I kept being impressed when musicians who help us as support members shaped the image of the songs immediately. The moment when that dimmed sense sparked up again was at the rehearsal for the countdown show. When Akinori played the intro to 'INVADER', coming to the studio for the first time in one year, I just thought 'that guy is amazing!'. Until then the sense that something was missing wasn't strong, but that very moment the missing puzzle piece perfectly went into place. Of course it wasn’t about the difference in skills compared to the support musicians, I was just strongly persuaded that 'for this band it's this sound'. I remember a sense of security coming from that. 

悠介: Overall, there was a difference in the sense of security after all. It might be simply that we have been playing together for a long time, but talking about the sense of security, all other bass players fall behind. Is it his personality or character, you just can't hate this guy. 

晁直: The level of expectations towards him has been increasing since before the rehearsal. But I've heard he said to some common acquaintance 'I'm gonna get 3 times better at bass during this year' (laughing). 

葉月: He's an idiot (laughing). 

玲央: I don't think he got 3 times better (laughing). 

悠介: This part of him is very important (laughing). 

晁直: I did not mention this is a bad way (laughing). I thought - this part of him will not change. He was removed from lynch. for one year, right? So even if he knows the official part of what was going on with lynch ., he does not know the other side. So sometimes I feel like I want to ask 'do you really get it?' about what he has done. 

 Preparing to overcome the steep path 

 －He can only try to imagine what you felt or what kind of problems you were dealing with while he was absent. 

晁直: Yeah. I know it's something unavoidable, but it's like fighting with this impulse to ask 'do you get it?'. In short, he's someone like that (laughing). －Actually, he's the youngest one in the band, but there's also something like brotherly feeling in this group. 

玲央: That's true. I think a band is all about balance. It's the same as for airplanes, if you project the power from the engines in only one place it will not fly well. I think it is essential to establish a balance between us in order to be able to continue the band for a long time. It was a big thing to determine 'Akinori is needed to keep that balance'. I have a similar feeling to what Asanao explained (laughing), although to be able to get our usual balance back will take some time. 

－ I see. Little earlier Hazuki explained how he felt Akinori was missing [from lynch.] upon listening to his bass, but I felt like that when listening to his back vocal at the countdown show. "Oh, yeah, originally this song has a vocal like that here'. 

葉月: There’s interesting story connected to that. While Akinori was absent, it was Reo that worked on choruses. So as a result, hearing that Reo now can sing Akinori asked 'so it's fine if I don't sing anymore?' (laughing). I told him: 'both of you will sing!' 

玲央: Is that supposed to be modesty? (laughing) 

－It was very impressive to see him standing on the stage and talking with his own words. 

玲央: Initially he didn't have confidence to just speak, so he said he wanted to read the text prepared earlier. But as that is rude I told him on the day 'don’t you look at the script!'. I told him 'It's more important to just speak about the things you feel at the time. If you speak earnestly you will be able to convey everything'. With that he spoke for longer than it was planned, I was surprised. Of course I don't know if he was able to reach every single person, but by presenting our stance and music through the future activities the people who were not reached by [his words] will have no other choice than to turn around again. And that's why the future path is very steep. March 11th to show the improved form 

 －I think that the countdown show is a really good start towards Makuhari. Like the 1st step of the preparations. 

 悠介: That's right. It was also a specific check up on the performing environment. At Makuhari we will be playing using special ear monitors. I have used them before, but it's been a while. We have to get used to them again for Makuhari, so I used them on that day. 

 － You had such a specific preparation. And the blank [schedule] between the start of the year until March 11th – you won’t be spending all of that time on preparations? 

葉月: Actually we are quite busy. As you know, we have to make new songs (laughing). We're already having talks about the setlist for Makuhari, 'let's do such thing here' and so on. At the same time, we just recently decided on the audience area plan and capacity. A number that makes you ask 'can that many people enter?' (laughing). But the final image is not ready yet. Yet, the main theme I have for this performance is to take one new step at Makuhari Messe and keep going to higher and higher levels. I want it to become a performance where you can feel like the band called lynch. improved, that we ventured into a new world again. That's why we have to show others a performance and conduct that is not embarrassing as an experienced band (?). Now I only have such an obscure idea. 

玲央: There were various support bassist who have helped us during those 8 months without Akinori. When Hitoki passed the bass to Akinori at the countdown show it had a meaning 'we're entrusting you the feelings of all support members'. Actually, when I heard those words, them entrusting their thoughts, it didn't feel like it was only to Akinori, but to all of us. That's why I see it as a minimum we should do, not to have shows where we would be told 'it was better when Hitoki was playing' or 'it was better when someone else was on support', and at the same time I feel that the bar was raised quite a high. 

－ You can really feel the love in Hitoki's message. 

玲央: I thought 'the senpai will beat junior's ass' (laughing). But I was really grateful for that. We were also inspired thinking 'we also can't continue like that', it's not only about Akinori. So of course we want to make many fans happy, but also we have to give the best performance that will make people who actually come to see us and who support us say 'that was so cool'. I've made this goal now. 

晁直: In a few days after the countdown show the way I see performing at Makuhari has changed completely. Before I was just thinking that Makuhari will be a show through which lynch. will climb higher. However there's Akinori's return, some people are happy about it, some are not. And if both will come to see us play, we will have to make both of them happy. Because of that we have more to worry about than before. At the end of the day, concert is just a concert, but if possible I want to try giving a performance that will shut everyone up. If we manage to overcome this I think it would help us grow/improve further. 

悠介: We have to change. We have to give concerts that will take us higher and higher, there's no meaning to it if we just say that we've played at some huge venue. It's crucial to see if we can set a new starting point there. If we can make people follow us. That's what's very important. 

葉月: That's why being perfectly prepared, as a band I want us to perform on a stage at Makuhari in a healthy state. If I can do that, I can confirm that I can clear everything I was aiming for, I plan to prepare well and approach that day. 

－I'm really looking forward to it. And I assume you will continue working on new songs for the next album that will be announced in the future? 

葉月: That’s right. The time of announcement etc is still not decided, but until Makuhari we should have more new song ready, I should be able to explain more that time as well (about the next album). Saying simply, I’m thinking of the perfect image of lynch. as I focus on us who should be able to grow through the performance at Makuhari and putting that into songs. I appreciate being able to properly pursue that ideal.

[trashy-fujoshi-blog]

ライアーダンス - CHAPTER 2

The trashy VR-AU POST-NDRV3 FIC CONTINUES~ Yippee.

Chapter One < Here

This is POST-NDRV3. 

Even if everyone is alive in this, there is still cannon game spoilers mentioned. 

Read at your own risk. 

(Also typo’s because I don’t proof read shit, I’m a lazy hoe.)

Saihara, with his detective work, slowly but surely began to compile a list of who he saw around, to work out who else didn’t remember. He heard that Kiyo was on the 6th floor, whichever girl was alongside him didn’t remember, but he had no way of knowing about the 12th floor, he couldn’t get up there without the inhabitants agreement, and since neither remembered, it was like the floor was off limits.

It took two days before Saihara managed to get a hold of Kiyo in the large establishment they were kept in. Mostly because Saihara didn’t like to leave his floor, he still lacked the confidence to face everyone, but Amami had helped him..

“My floor? Tsumugi Shirogane.”

Saihara nodded. He’d expected the girl to have some memory issues, she’d been tampered with quite a bit, but it was surprising that Amami was fine, since he’s gone through quite a bit too…

Kaede told him that she met up with most of the girls already, except Tsumugi, Iruma and Kirumi, so it wasn’t any of the others. Saihara could already cross Tsumugi off, and had to put Iruma and Kirumi on the list of possibilities for the 12th floor.

From the boys, he was only missing Kaito, the rest he’d seen or had others confirm they were okay. So that left it down to those three. Iruma, Kaito and Kirumi. But which two?

In the end, Saihara found out from Kiibo, who he overheard talking to a short blonde staff member with the eyepatch.

“Have you seen Iruma? I need her opinion on some of the security measures I can’t bypass.”

“5th floor last I saw her.”

“Thank you.”

So Saihara now had to face the fact Kaito and Kirumi also didn’t remember.

He wasn’t to fussed about the Ultimate Maid, they hadn’t spoken much, and while she was nice to everyone, she’d been executed before he could properly get to know her… and his pre-sim memories of her were still hazy. Not that he didn’t like her or anything, he actually found her presence to have been calming, and she was pretty much adopted as the entire classes mother before Ryoma’s murder… But still… Kaito...

Kaito….

It hurt a lot more.

Saihara had hoped he’d finally be able to make things up with the Astronaut, and fix his mistakes, but now it was like God was punishing him. First Ouma and now Kaito?

Saihara just wanted to apologize to them…

Saihara eventually managed to get in to see Ouma late one evening in secret, with the assistance of Komaeda Nagito, who Saihara was uneasy about. The light haired male had offered to sneak him in to see Ouma, without alerting anyone else… which seemed both preposterous and stupid, but Saihara complied. He tried to bargain for time with Kaito, but apparently he wasn’t in a state for any visitors, and he’d had to be assigned two of the strongest staff members, because he was dangerous, and constantly trying to kill anyone that entered the room…

Saihara had shuddered while being told that.

That wasn’t Kaito… it wasn’t...

Ouma was a mystery to though.

He just didn’t fit the personality he’d expected of someone who’d sign up for murder and death, and it left him to wonder what exactly Despair had written his false reasons to be.

“Ouma.”

Saihara stood awkwardly in the doorway, Ouma was sat in one of the corners of the room this time, looking even smaller than before, if that was possible, backed against the wall.

“You came back…”

“I did.”

“Why?”

“...”

Why indeed.

Saihara had no clue.. If anything he just wanted the chance to sit and properly talk to the Ultimate. Everything that had occurred… he just needed to sort it all out, verbally, with the boy. He just...

“I don't know.” Saihara finally replied, watching Ouma slowly clamber to his feet. He was wobbly on them, and his hands clutched onto the wall to stay upright. Saihara thought he’d fall if he was honest, but he didn’t want to intrude the boy's personal space, when he obviously didn’t want to be around them.

“I.. I still can’t walk properly.” Ouma admitted, indicating for Saihara to come closer, which surprised the detective. It had been a while since the Simulation ended, and most of them were back to being able to function properly, hell, even Ryoma was stable now, and when he’d woken up apparently he was in a state; physically.

Mentally there was still issues with most of them, but physically they’d all gotten over the worst of it already.

Saihara moved forward cautiously holding out an arm, which Ouma wearly took, weight now supported by the Detective.

“I was told it was because my nerves endured intense shock… something to do with... that ... “ Ouma trailed. Saihara knew what he meant.

Of course, being forcefully crushed to… whatever remained of Ouma at that point … by a fucking hydraulic press was bound to affect him, but regardless, the boy clearly wasn’t going to be stopped that easily. Saihara made a small noise of understanding, as Ouma hobbled over to the bed with his support.

“... Saihara.” Ouma mumbled, and Saihara’s heart sunk, at the lack of ‘chan’ at the end. It might have been slightly weird to be referred in such a way, but the lack of cheerful tone behind Ouma’s words had Saihara feel lost.

“Ouma?”

“Will.. will you do me a favour?” Ouma asked, finally letting go of Ouma’s arm, letting the Supreme Leader sit down onto the bed, tucking his knees up instantly. Saihara stood beside him, unsure what he should be doing with himself.

“What can I do for you?” Saihara asked, curiously.

“ Stay .”

“W-what?” Saihara asked, confused.

“Stay.” Ouma asked again, lip trembling slightly, eyes darting between the window and Saihara.

Oh.

Oh .

The boy didn’t like the dark?

“Okay Ouma.” Saihara mumbled, and let himself be tugged down to sit beside Ouma, by weak arms. The two sat there for a moment, neither speaking, before Ouma rested his head on Saihara’s shoulder, arms still securely wrapped under his knees.

“Thanks Saihara-chan.”

If Ouma felt him tense up at his words, nothing was said.

If Saihara felt his entire being freeze at the words, nothing was said.

Nothing was said at all for the rest of the evening.

Saihara felt a tiny bit uncomfortable intruding, but his heart wouldn’t let him leave the boy alone, when he’d spoke with such fear dancing in his eyes. It actually helped calm the detective himself if he was honest, having the gentle breathing of Ouma present in the normally silent darkness he endured every night.

It was... Nice.

Saihara had meant to slip out once Ouma had fallen asleep, but that didn’t happen. He wasn’t sure how he’d ended up falling asleep, but it had happened, and the next time Saihara awoke, it was to the whimpers and sobs of Ouma Kokichi, who was clung around his waist tightly, small form shivering against the detective.

Saihara could feel his heart break further, at the distressed sounds the boy was emitting. Reaching gently, with one hand, he carefully buried it in strands of dark purple hair, combing it gently to try and calm the boy down.

He knew waking people up while they were distressed was dangerous, because they could react violently while unaware of themselves. He’d once accidently punched Naegi in the face that way, having been woken up from a nightmare by the boy only to accidentally flip out. He’s profoundly apologized after, and learnt that it was best he didn’t follow Naegi’s example.

“Shuuichi… ”

Saihara froze. He’d not told Ouma that… he’d only introduced himself though his family name… Saihara caught himself though, noticing he’d stopped moving his hand when Ouma let out another distressed sound, making Saihara restart his actions.

Maybe Ouma subconsciously remembered through dreams?

Who knew…

Anyway, slowly but surely, Ouma’s uneven breathing calmed down, and the sobs and jutters of his shoulders relaxed into quiet snores once again. The detective was grateful it hadn’t ended too badly, but he couldn’t shake the odd feeling he was experiencing. Eventually the detective fell back to sleep once more to, arms wrapping around Ouma protectively as he drifted back into the darkness of his own night terrors.

Komaeda found them the next morning, and even he had the decency not to make any comments, instead leaving the two, clinging to one another as though their lives depended on it, and looking at peace for once which was pleasant to see.

“Nagito?” Hinata asked, and Komaeda simply put a finger to his lips, turning to Hinata in the doorway, shaking a hand to waft the boy back out.

“I believe you can say you found where the little Detective went.” Komaeda whispered, leading Hinata back away from the room, he’d known the entire time where Saihara was but he knew it was crucial for Ouma to have someone he could trust...

And he’d be damned if he left anyone try and say otherwise.

“Is it okay to leave them?”

“Yeah.Trust me, Hajime.”

Because Komaeda Nagito could well and truly admit he had taken a liking to the small Supreme Leader from the moment he’d stepped into Hope’s Peak more than a year ago, and he’d do anything to have him back to normal, even if he had to break a few rules and weave a few lies.

It was around noon when he awoke. Saihara opened his eyes to find Ouma staring up at him, eyes reflecting an emotion Saihara couldn’t place, one he knew he hadn’t seen on the boy before. Despite the Supreme Leader being awake before the Detective, he had made no attempt to move, content with staying wrapped around Saihara, simply watching him sleep.

“Ouma?”

“Good morning Saihara-chan.”

So the chan was back for good it seemed, which had Saihara feel a bit better. It was certainly a step back to Ouma’s normal self… and he was sure the boy knew more than he let on.. But he wasn’t sure how to go about approaching that subject with him yet.

“Ouma… Why were you staring at me?” Saihara asked groggily, raising a hand to wipe his eyes, the other trapped between his and Ouma’s bodies.

“Because Saihara-chan is cute when he’s asleep, obviously.”

Saihara simply gave a spluttering noise.

“See!” Ouma countered, small grin littering his face and Saihara could feel the blush it caused.

If anyone was cute it was Ouma.

Wait what?

“Let’s… let’s get up.” Saihara mumbled, trying to change the topic, and Ouma let go of the detective with a quiet grumble.

“But you’re so warm.. And Saihara-chan feels safe.”

Saihara wasn’t even surprised anymore, at the amount of times this boy was making him speechless.

“C’mon Ouma.” Saihara said once more, climbing to, up stand on his feet, brushing down his clothes he’d slept in, creases obvious against the fabric. He’s need to get changed before he went anywhere else.

Ouma made no attempt to move, snuggling deeping into the covers.

“Ouma?”

“Not getting up.” Ouma mumbled, shutting his eyes.

“Ouma.. You need to get up, you need to eat something.” Saihara mumbled and Ouma shook his head.

“Don’t need to.”

It was like arguing with a child and Saihara couldn’t help the small smile that graced his features at Ouma’s stubbornness. This boy slowly but surely was reminding him of the Ouma he knew.

“Do you want me to bring you something?” Saihara asked and Ouma shook his head the best he could.

“No.. I… No. Feel free to visit again though Saihara-chan.” Ouma whispered, and turned over, as if to tell Saihara to go.

So Saihara did.

He didn’t want to push his luck, after he’d finally managed to earn a sliver of Ouma’s trust.

He headed back to his own room, getting changed into a fresh pair of clothes, before heading down to the ground floor, towards the dining room he’d spent most of his time avoiding, he didn’t feel ready to be around everyone at all once… but now… he felt ready.

Maybe seeing how hard Ouma was trying gave him some confidence… he wasn’t sure, all he knew was that it was time to start facing reality more.

“Saihara!” Yumeno grinned, pointing her toast at the boy who she noticed in the doorway. The rest of the room turned to look to, smiles meeting the detective who stood awkwardly in the doorway. Not everyone was there, but it was nice to see more than one or two of them, together, as though nothing happened... moving on… There was only a few people missing from the group, minus the four Saihara knew not to expect, the only ones missing were Gonta, Kiibo, Iruma and Maki.

It was a little weird to see Kiyo sat talking to Angie, all things considered, but then again he knew those two weren’t exactly normal.. In fact they were quite extraordinary people.

Saihara just raised a hand in greeting, shyly, as Amami shuffled further down the bench, to make space for him, between the Adventurer and the Ultimate Pianist.

“Hiya Saihara! You okay?”

Saihara nodded before sitting down in the space made for him.

“Where were you?” Amami asked quietly and Saihara raised an eyebrow in question.

“What do you mean?”

“Last night. Half the staff went crazy with worry, because you’d vanished, I overheard them.”

“Oh.” Saihara mumbled, he didn’t even know, but he guessed it made sense, since Naegi came to check on him most evenings, and if he was missing, it probably would have raised warning bells… since Saihara barely left his room.

Saihara could feel his face flush, he could hardly turn around and say he'd slept with Ouma, even if that was all that had happened… no way, he couldn't say that… But Amami looked like he had an inkling anyway.

“Oho ?” Amami asked, with a sly smile.

“I erm .. I was with Ouma…”

“I figured as much.”

“Wait.. what?” Saihara kind of expected him to be mad or agitaited or something… considering how close they’d been..

For Ouma to latch onto him and not Amami?

“I’m not mad if that’s what you’re thinking. If anything I’m relieved. I was pretty concerned after the other day, so I’m glad he’s at least let you in. Look after him okay, Saihara?”

Saihara just let out a quiet eep , face flushing at Amami’s words.

“I believe in you.” Amami quietly spoke, as to not alert the others, before getting up from his seat.

“I’ve gotta go, bye everyone.”

And then Amami was gone.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, the group stuck together for most of it, Saihara getting a better tour of the place, which he hadn’t properly explored. It kind of reminded him a bit like that damned Prison School, with all the different rooms, but Saihara tried to ignore that idea, pushing it to the back of his mind.

As the evening drew it, Saihara found himself in the huge library the facility had, with Kaede, a sick feeling in his stomach because the last time he’d been with the girl in such a place…

No.

He wasn’t going to think that way.

“Saihara, are you okay? Is it this place? I wasn’t sure if you’d feel okay here... “ Kaede asked, concerned and Saihara nodded.

“I’m okay.”

It was a lie, and Kaede saw completely through it, but if Saihara didn’t want her to know, she’d go along with it.

“I finding calming, you know? Being around all these books… It's stupid but I like it.”

Saihara just nodded, unable to find the words he wanted.

“Did you get any further investigating? Amami told me you were trying to find out the other students?”

“Yeah, Kirumi, Tsumugi and.. And Kaito.”

Kaede just hummed in reply.

“I see. I thought for sure it would be Iruma, I never see her.”

“Apparently she helps out alongside Kiibo, with trying to recover and reverse the memory issues… I guess that means she’s too busy to be around us…”

“Possibly… I wish I could help out someway to… I feel so useless. Why are we still here anyway? What’s the purpose of waiting here, what are we waiting for?” Kaede pondered, her thoughts voiced without her realising. She stammered.

“I-Ignore that.”

“No, I agree. I think they wanted to keep an eye on us at first, after all there was a possibility we could have been brainwashed to Despair, and they wouldn’t want to let us slip through their fingers. Now I think they just want to keep us all together until we’ve all recovered.”

“That would make sense… maybe.. I just don’t like this pointless waiting around… I want to see the world again, my sister, my family. Do you know in this massive facility there isn’t a piano?” Kaede rambled and Saihara let out a tiny snicker at the end part, which had Kaede giggle to.

“A piano shouldn’t be so hard to find in a post-apocalyptic world, should it?”

Saihara felt himself relaxing more. Kaede’s presence certainly calmed him down when he felt on edge. The girl just had some sort of ability that cheered him up, and it was nice, pleasant, welcome.

The evening drew in further, and eventually the two departed from the Library, Saihara feeling the relief of leaving the room.

“I’m going to head back up to my floor. I’ll see you tomorrow Saihara! Come down and see us more!”

And Kaede was gone.

The walk back to the 11th floor was.. Tiring. The elevator was out of use for the day, due to some maintenance, and Saihara just felt shattered after walking up to the 9th floor. The first floor, and floors 8 to 10 weren’t dorm rooms, instead they housed areas like the library, dining room, and a bunch of office-like areas that the staff used. Saihara was pretty sure the 10th floor was used for their own dorm rooms, but he wasn’t sure because he didn’t have access to get through the doors.

Eventually he made it to his floor, walking through the doors to the floor, and straight into the body of Komaeda Nagito, the taller male catching him, and steadying the two of them, to stop them from falling.

“Ah, Saihara.”

“Ah! Sorry- I wasn’t loo-”

“It’s quite alright, I’m actually quite lucky to run into you, you’re just the person I was looking for.” Komaeda slyly admitted, and Saihara frowned.

“Me? Wh- What is it?”

“”Come with me.” Komaeda smirked, grabbing the Detective's arm, and fair dragging him, despite his quiet protests. The luckster dragged him to Ouma’s door, before letting go of him, and crossing his arms, giving a nod in the direction of the door.

“All yours.” Komaeda spoke and Saihara let out a feebly splutter in protest.

“Wh- What?”

“The rest of the staff don’t want students in each others rooms at night until you’ve all been cleared of suspicion, and especially not with the special cases…I’ll turn a blind eye to this, if you continue to stay with Ouma.”

And then Komaeda left.

It made sense they didn’t want students together at night, because considering nearly half of them had killed someone in the class in the Sim, or been murdered, there was certainly the incentive to commit horrible acts, and when better than at Night when there was less chance of being witnessed…

Regardless though, if Komaeda thought his presence would help Ouma, he was willing to give it a shot. So, with shaky hands he opened to door to the room, cursing himself midway at forgetting to knock.

Ouma was perched on the windowsill once more, legs tucked up to his chest and head down. Despair really had written his character to be this anxious soul? It made sense in a sick way though, that the most eccentric and confident one of them all was made into.. Well this.

“Ouma?”

Ouma’s head snapped up instantly, eyes darting to Saihara, and tiny smile upon the boy's face, despite the obvious tears that gave away that he was crying. Saihara's own face fell at the sight, and before he even knew what his feet were doing, he was over beside the boy, pulling him towards his chest in the most comforting embrace he could muster.

“Ouma… It’s okay.”

“Saihara-chan. W-Why do you keep coming back to someone like me?”

“Idiot, of course I would. We’re friends aren’t we? Even if you don’t remember me.” Saihara mumbled, as he felt Ouma’s fingers clutch onto his uniform, his head buried in Saihara's chest.

“I do.” Was Ouma’s quiet response and Saihara froze.

“Y..You do?”

“Yeah.. Yesterday… but…who knows, I am a liar after all~ Saihara-chan .” Ouma managed to say, raising his head from Saihara’s chest to look up at Saihara, tears still evident on his face, eyes watery, but with the most genuine smile Saihara had ever seen on the Supreme Leader's face, and Saihara could feel himself return it, how could he not? It was infectious.

“Why.. haven’t you told anyone?”

“Komaeda knows, he’s a little shit though.”

“Ouma.. I don’t think you should be referring to the staff that way.” Saihara scolded and Ouma just let out a quiet nishishi.

“Says who? Supreme Leaders don’t take orders from anyone… but I’ll make an exception for my Beloved Saihara-chan..” Ouma taunted and Saihara just shook his head, attempting to conceal the laughter threatening to burst past his lips.

“Will Saihara-chan still stay, even if I remember?” Ouma asked, and Saihara only just managed to catch the flash of fear before it hid itself behind Ouma’s carefully constructed masks… Maybe Despair hadn’t messed with Ouma’s personality at all, because after spending the briefest of time around said ‘personality’ Saihara could conclude the boy in front of him still had the same aspects to him, just hidden better. Was that the kind of person Ouma had always been? Masked insecurities and fears, behind lies and taunts?  

Saihara didn’t want to think about it, because it made him feel awful, so he pushed the thought from his mind, and nodded.

“Yeah, I will.”

Ouma let go of Saihara’s jacket and raised his arms in mock victory.

“Yay. You just couldn’t resist me, right? Right?” Ouma asked, his tears had stopped by now, and the boy discreetly wiped them onto his scarf, cheeky tone back in his voice as he spoke. Saihara just scoffed.

“If that’s what you want to believe, Ouma.”

“Ehhh… There’s only room for one liar here Saihara-chan.” Was all Ouma said before attempting to climb down from the windowsill, legs still unsteady below him.

“You okay?” Saihara asked, holding out an arm for the boy to use as support but Ouma shrugged it off, slowly hobbling over to the bed in the room.

“I’m fine, Saihara-chan… gosh.” Ouma pouted childishly before flopping back to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, Saihara rolled his eyes at his antics.

“Is that a lie, Ouma?”

“Who knows~!” Ouma replied, before using his toes to prod the detective in the side.

“Your feet are cold.” Saihara concluded and Ouma just scoffed.

“That’s what you paid attention to?”

“...” Saihara blinked. What else was he meant to pay attention to?

Ouma just sighed, sitting back up to grab the detective by the shoulders, before tugging him back down with him.

“Now stay there and provide me with warmth, your Supreme Leader commands it.” Ouma boasted, wrapping himself around Saihara, who froze, dumbfounded. Even after remembering everything, Ouma wanted him here, to stay?

“I can hear your thoughts, they’re that loud, Saihara-chan.” Ouma mumbled, as Saihara relaxed slightly.

It wasn’t that bad… if anything Saihara felt a sudden joy at being wanted, at Ouma desiring him to stay with him… it was… Saihara couldn’t really explain what he felt, but it was nice, so he stopped trying to think so much about it, and simply closed his eyes, allowing Ouma to use him as a source of heat, arms wrapped around him.

“Thanks Saihara-chan~!” Ouma beamed, with a small nishishi , and Saihara just smiled in return.

No problem Ouma.

The next morning, Saihara awoke first, and flushed upon realising his position. Somehow he’d gotten his legs tangled up with Ouma’, and one arm was trapped under the shorter boy, the other wrapped around his waist, Ouma’s own arms clinging to him in return. Saihara was pretty sure he’d lost the feeling in the arm under him, he couldn’t wriggle it, and he concluded it was dead, he’d have to wait for Ouma to move, so he could get the blood to return to it.

He didn’t have to wait long, but in the time he did wait, Saihara saw the appeal of watching the other sleep, just as Ouma had done the day before. Ouma looked like the epitome of an angel while he slept. There was no false facial expressions masking his face, or emotions, there was no mischief in his eyes, and best of all, he looked happy, a tiny smile on his face at whatever dream he was enduring. Saihara scolded himself for acting weird. Why did he feel like this around the boy.. What even was he feeling? Saihara was confused, and in his deep thought, he failed to miss Ouma stirring.

“Saihara-chan~? Earth to Saiharaaa-chan~” Ouma prodded the boys cheek, and Saihara’s eyes widened, before looking down at Ouma.

“Ah.. sorry Ouma.” Saihara tried to catch himself, and Ouma just pouted.

“My Beloved Saihara-chan was busy thinking about something else to notice me~ I’m wounded by this betrayal.”

“S-Sorry Ouma!” Saihara apologised and Ouma snickered in return.

“Just lying~!” Ouma beamed, tugging himself off of Saihara, freeing his arm, and untangling their limbs, before brushing off his clothes.

“Aw… now everything is creased... “ Ouma sighed.

“We have spares anyway.” Saihara explained and Ouma nodded.

“I know… It’s like being back there .” Ouma pointed out and Saihara shuddered at the thought. It wasn’t a false statement though, the fact they were stocked with extra pairs of their uniform did remind him of the Prison School. They did have other things in their wardrobes, casual clothes and things like that, but predominantly they all mostly settled for wearing their uniforms because it's what they felt most comfortable with.

Ouma stuck his head into the wardrobe he had, while Saihara managed to drag himself out of the bed.

“Ooo look Saihara-chan!” Ouma pulled out a long cape from the wardrobe and Saihara let out a groan. His pre-sim memories might not be a lot, but he sure as hell could remember that damn cape, and Ouma parading about in it like he was the new supervillain (because Ouma refused to be called a superhero.)

“I can look like a phantom thief with this, Saihara-chan~! Will you try and catch me though?” Ouma asked, raising a finger to his chin as he did. Saihara spluttered at the thought of chasing the boy, heart racing for some reason, until Ouma gave his trademark laugh.

“Just kidding.”

“I’m going to need to change my own clothes too.” Saihara announced. He’d also not showered for like two days now, because he’d been staying with Ouma on a night.

“Okay~ Saihara-chan.” Ouma replied, as Saihara let himself out of the room, agreeing to come back in half an hour.

Saihara didn’t encounter anyone on the way back to his room, thankfully, and was able to grab a quick shower without worry. He was grateful the rooms all had ensuites.

When he got out and headed over to the wardrobe, he found himself pulling out a version of his uniform, succumbing to wearing the same outfit once more, simply because he felt lost without it.

Saihara departed the room once more, after ensuring he’d dried off his hair the best he could, and accidently running into Komaeda once more.

“Saihara!” Komaeda gave a sly smirk, ruffling his hair with a hand, that had Saihara feel uncomfortable.

“Thanks.” Was all the luckster said before leaving, walking down the hallway away from Ouma’s from, to the staircase.

Saihara shrugged it off. Ouma already told him Komaeda was the only one who knew about his return of memories, so it was probably just to do with that.

Once Saihara made it back to OUma’s door, he gave a quiet knock, remembering to do so this time, and he was welcomed with the cheerful enter which sounded exactly like the Ouma Saihara knew. It was nice to have him back.

Ouma was donned in his normal uniform, including the cape Saihara knew to expect, because the cape was one of the few things he knew for sure Ouma loved about his uniform.

“Yoho~ Guess what, Saihara-chan?” Ouma asked, and Saihara shrugged.

“Komaeda said I was in the clear, and he’d arranged to allow me to leave the room!” Ouma beamed. Saihara guessed behind stuck in the same room for more than a month could drive anyone a little crazy.

“So I have decided you have to take me to see Amami-chan. I need to say sorry to him.” Ouma pointed out.

“Why me?” Saihara complained, but his lie was easily seen through by Ouma.

“ Nishishi , don’t lie to me, Saihara-chan, you’re elated to be able to spend time with me.” Ouma chortled and Saihara just sighed.

“Okay then. Off we go.” Saihara replied, knowing arguing with him wouldn’t be worth it.

“Thanks Saihara-chan.”

Getting down 11 flights of stairs took time, but Saihara was patient, and Ouma persisted, getting to the 7th floor without much help, but relying on Saihara from there downwards. Eventually the two made it to the first floor though, and Saihara slowly took Ouma in the direction of the dining room. Komaeda had left Ouma with a crutch, so the shorter male could use that alongside Saihara, and it did help relieve the ache in his legs, which still protested to moving so much.

The dining room was the fullest Saihara had seen it… but Saihara had only seen it twice so that kinda made sense…

Anyway, it contained everyone from the day before, but this time, Saihara could also see Kiibo, Iruma and Gonta had joined them, summarily only missing 4 of the class, Kirumi, Kaito, Tsumugi and Maki (three of which made sense to Saihara, but come to think of it, he hadn’t actually seen Maki at all.)

It was probably a sight to see, considering news had circulated between the class about the fate of the four who didn’t remember, so seeing Ouma Kokichi in the doorway, supported on his feet by a crutch and Saihara Shuuichi likely wasn’t what they expected to see.

“Nishishi , you all look like you saw a ghost or something…” Ouma snickered and Saihara could visibly see the shoulders of about half of the class relax, as Ouma unknowing confirmed his memory had returned.

Amami, as expected, was on his feet instantly, and over to the boy in a heartbeat, tugging the shorter boy into a hug.

“Idiot.” Was all the adventurer said, and Ouma just gave a laugh in reply, letting go of Saihara to wrap an arm around the taller student.

“Amami-chan was worried about me~? I’m touched.” Ouma joked and Amami just rolled his eyes, used to the boys antics.

“Amami-chan might want to let go now, before I collapse.” Ouma added quietly, and Amami pulled back, just as Ouma’s legs gave out from under him, Saihara catching the boy the best he could, Amami lending a hand too.

“Ah. Thanks. Nishishi .”

“Idiot.. You should have rested more, if you still can’t walk properly.”

“Amami-chan, A Supreme Leader like me cannot be beaten by something as simple as this.” Ouma lied and Amami sighed.

“No, of course not, Ouma, being crushed by a hydraulic press and suffering from extensive nerve damage and temporary amnesia certainly isn’t something that could beat someone as mighty as you.” Amami said, sarcasm dripping in his voice, Ouma shrugging, as Saihara helped him sit down.

“Exactly, Amami-chan” Ouma replied with a sly grin, one of the ones Saihara knew was a false mask for confidence, he’d seen it enough in the Sim to work it out already.

The rest of the students seemed to have their spirits lifted by Ouma’s evident recovery, hope for the rest wasn’t misplaced it seemed, and a few of the students seemed quite happy to engage in conversation with the short student, even if they’d all thought him annoying in the Sim.

Kiibo seemed interested in monitoring Ouma, and asked some questions about how he remembered and what triggered it, to try and aid the others in a similar way.

“Eh.. Keeboy isn’t a robot? Lame.”

Kiibo just let out a noise of protest, before opening his mouth to speak in retaliation.

“I might not be a robot, but that’s not the issue here, Ouma. The issue is, how did you remember?”

“Easy~ My Beloved Saihara-chan.” Ouma replied, before pausing, face blank.

“Or was that a lie~?”

Kiibo let out a frustrated noise before Iruma butted in.

“Oi, Brat, answer his questions already.”

“Ehhhh. Why?” Ouma complained and Saihara couldn’t help the tiny smile that made it’s way onto his face, listening to Ouma’s childish antics.

Amami leaned in, from the other side of the detective.

“Thanks Saihara. Whatever you did, I appreciate it.”

Saihara just flushed, blood tinting his face a bright red, detective lowering his head to try and hide it.

“Also, how long are you going to be in denial that you’ve got the biggest crush on him?”

Saihara promptly choked on his orange juice.

“Saihara! Are you okay?” Kaede asked with concern and Saihara just held up a hand to signal he was okay, while struggling to steady his breathing, turning to Amami with wide eyes.

“W-what?!”

“It’s so obvious, Saihara, even a blind man could see it.”

“W...what…”

“You didn’t even know… did you?’ Amami asked, with realisation, and Saihara shook his head.

“I… I like Ouma?” Saihara asked, and Amami just nodded as if he’d asked the stupidest question on earth.

It made sense the more Saihara thought about it. Ouma made him feel happy, and safe, and so weird when he was around him. But it was that weird feeling that he could finally place with Amami’s help.

Affection.

Before Saihara Shuuichi could even realize it, he was head over heels in love with Ouma Kokichi.

And he had no idea what the fuck he was going to do now he knew that.

Nishishi. That’s the end of chapter 2 c;

This fic is also on A03, under the same name, ライアーダンス, if anyone’s interested on reading it on there rather than here.

Thanks for reading~!

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[avengersfluff]

Feed Desire. PART 1 Summary: Peter has been avoiding Y/N while preparing for the upcoming battle with Thanos. Y/N thinks it's because he just doesn't like her, however his reasons run much deeper than she'd ever imagine. Now a huge fuckup on Drax's part now puts Peter in a very awkward position, live with the fear of becoming his father or act on desire. Warnings:: None (crappy writing and probably a lot of typos. I wrote this on my phone with no sleep so sorry if it sucks. The next chapter will be better I swear!!) Word count: 2714. It had been several weeks since the 'Guardians of the Galaxy' arrived on earth to prepare to fight alongside with the Avengers against Thanos. At first things seemed tense with the new recruits but eventually everyone got along and seemed to accept each other. Tony and Rocket seemed to spend a lot of time in the lab. Tony couldn't help but be amazed by the intelligence level of this small Raccoon. Rocket of course kept calling Tony an idiot even though he was also slightly impressed by Tony's Iron Man suits. Natasha and Gamora hit it off right away. Both highly trained assassin's, they spent a lot of time training together, exchanging tips and fighting advice. Both mentally and physically getting themselves ready for the upcoming battles. Drax oddly bonded with Steve and Bucky claiming they were the stronger of the humans so he'd always he chasing them wanting another sparring session or to exchange war stories. Everyone worried about Bucky dealing with Drax but to everyone's shock and surprise, Bucky actually took to Drax very quickly. Drax was often found deep in conversation with Thor whenever he came down from Asgard. Kraglin, he, Sam, Clint and Scott formed an instant little click. What the four of them discussed, no one was sure but there was a lot of cackling to be heard whenever the four of them found themselves in a room together. To no one's surprise, Wanda, Vision and Mantis formed a very tight bond. Exchanging information about their abilities and Wanda often breaking down earth humor and modern 'slang' that often went over Mantis' head. Wanda would often break down emotions so Mantis got a better understanding on everything. Mantis proved to be very helpful with the Avengers, often being able to sooth Bucky and ease him into a peaceful sleep that wasn't interrupted by horrible night terrors. No one could calm Bucky like Mantis, not even Wanda. Wanda found it fascinating and enjoyed watching Mantis use her powers. Groot, hell everyone bonded with Groot. He was just too adorable not to love. Even right now, Groot sat perched on Y/N's shoulder eating from a bag of M&M's.  Everyone took joy in playing with the child like tree and loved spoiling him just to see those cute little eyes sparkle with joy and excitement. The only newcomer who seemed to stand off and distance himself from everyone was the leader of the Guardians, Peter Quill. Since his arrival he seemed to find a way to excuse himself and disappear back on his ship saying he had repairs to do. He'd show up for breakfast, lunch and supper. Also occasionally popping into the kitchen area for a small snack making some comment about how he missed the food on earth. He'd engage in a few conversations with the fellow avengers before disappearing once more. Not once had Y/N gotten a chance to even talk to the man they called 'Star-Lord'. The first time they had met she gave him a warm welcoming smile, admittedly admiring this so called 'outlaw' from space. However he just stared at her for a moment, his own smile falling and as she tried to introduce herself he just cut her off giving a curt nod, introducing himself as Star-Lord before moving on to the next person. It left her feeling a bit awkward but she shrugged it off as nothing. She'd always seem him in passing and attempt to say hello but her efforts always went unnoticed because of the headphones he kept plugged into his ears. He'd even turn his gaze down as she passed. After days of this, Y/N had come to the conclusion that Quill didn't much care for her. She knew it shouldn't bother her but yet it did. Had she offended him in some way? Why did he talk to everyone in this damn compound except her? Why was it eating away at her so badly? The only people who seemed to notice the awkward tension brewing was of course the trained assassin's. Natasha, Gamora and even Bucky. Y/N would often confide in Natasha about the situation and rant about how all her efforts to make friends with the man was all in vain. Natasha would just sit back and smirk at Y/N with great amusement, of course Y/N didn't make the connection on why it ate away at her, hell, she didn't get this upset when Bucky shunned everyone and kept himself locked away for the first few months of joining the team. Natasha could see the signs clear as day, Y/N was never one to draw attention to herself, she wasn't shy by any means but she wasn't one to worry herself over the opinions of anyone. "Are you being serious, Y/N?" Nat chuckled while leaning back against the headboard of her bed. "So what, he didn't say good morning to you, he's probably not a morning person." She reasoned watching with great amusement while Y/N paced the floor of her room. "Also cool it before you walk a ditch into my carpet." Nat chuckled picking up a small throw pillow and tossed it at the other woman. Y/N squeaked as she caught the black accessory pillow. "Or an evening person, or a afternoon person. I'm telling you, he hates me, Nat." Y/N whined throwing the pillow back at the redhead before letting out a loud frustrated groan and dropped herself across the foot of Nat's bed. "I just wanna know why." She muttered, her voice muffled by the comforter. "Have you stopped to think about why this is bothering you so much, любимая?" Nat asked casually as the door to her room opened and Gamora and Mantis came waltzing in. "Morning ladies." Nat smiled while scooting over on her bed to make room for the newcomers to have a space to sit. "You're both just in time." "In time for what?" Gamora asked with an arched brow. "Y/N is pissing and moaning about why your companion won't give her the time of day. Perhaps the two of you could add some insight into this matter before Y/N loses her shit." Y/N groaned as Nat just chuckled, nudging her with her foot very lightly. Gamora let out a breathy chuckle and shook her head while giving Y/N a quick glance. "Ah yes, Peter." Her tone holding an amusing ring to it. Y/N's head popped up from off the bed and she shot Gamora a mock glare which ended up looking more like a frustrated pout than anything threatening. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, she was sure if she looked at her own expression her brow would be arched so high it'd touch her hairline. Shrugging casually, Gamora leaned back next to Nat up against the headboard. "I just know this has been really upsetting you lately. It's like you can't function properly knowing he's here someone in this building." Y/N scoffed and rolled over onto her back, her arms folding back behind her head as she glared at the ceiling. "Because he's being a stuck up prick, he won't even say hello. I'd almost think he was deaf if he didn't always have those damn headphones in his ears m. And CLEARLY it's just me he doesn't care for because, and I quote Rocket, 'he sure as fuck talks a lot' but just not to me." Mantis nibbled on her lower lip and remained silent as she listened to the conversation. She almost wanted to reach out and touch Y/N to get a better understanding of her feelings so perhaps she could help. Gamora grinned over at Nat before nudging Y/N on the knee. "Ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe you make him nervous? He hasn't been around Terran women since he was a kid." "Oh that's right!" Nat smirked over at Gamora, clearly liking where this was going. "Maybe he wants to talk to you but he's just shy." "Oh Peter Quill is not shy." Mantis finally spoke up, giving a firm shake of her head. "Men who are shy do not approach women and say the things he says. He's very bold, and can be very vulgar." She kept on talking despite the glares and be quiet motions from Gamora and Natasha. "Ah ha!" Y/N sat up, pointing back and forth between Gamora and Natasha. "He's not nervous around me. Besides, he talks to every other women in this compound." Before anyone could utter another word or comeback, another presence joined them in the room. "I can hear you women squawking from down the hall. What in the world are you four going on about?" Their eyes all fell to Drax who had Groot perched up on his shoulder, waving frantically at Y/N and Natasha. "We were discussing why Peter will not speak to Y/N." Mantis beamed, she was happy, she finally felt like part of a group. A group of women discussing women issues. However because of her naivety, it didn't register that perhaps this conversation should be kept between the women present in the room. "It's simple." Drax answered with a roll of his eyes as if the answer was right there in everyone's face. "He clearly finds Y/N repulsive. It's very easy to spot." He added bluntly causing Gamora, Y/N and Natasha's jaw to go slack in shock. "Drax!" Gamora yelled out in a mixture of shock and anger. "He thinks I'm ugly?!" Y/N felt her stomach drop down to her feet and suddenly her body felt heavy. That was a crushing blow and her mind was already racing trying to prove that Drax was in fact right. "Not just ugly, hideous. He's been with ugly women before but for him to completely ignore you, you must be disgusting to look at. Which, as far as humans go I can understand--" Drax was cut off when little Groot yelled out and smacked Drax on the side of the face with his vines. "I am Groot!" Groot huffed before jumping down off Drax's shoulder and climbed up on the bed to hug Y/N's arm. "I am Groot." He frowned up at her, hugging her arm tightly. Y/N suddenly felt like screaming and crying. She had self esteem issues already, I mean what woman wouldn't when standing next to Natasha, Wanda, Sharon, Gamora and Mantis. They were all gorgeous women and Y/N never thought of herself as ugly but she sure as hell never thought she was as beautiful as the women she was around daily. "It's okay, Groot." Y/N faked a smile and reached down to stroke Groot's little cheek. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Gamora yelled out, her body sitting up straight on the bed, a shocked look still on her face as she held her arms out to show her confusion. "She is not ugly, repulsive or hideous! Why would you say that?!" "Well, it's the only logical explanation. He's bedded an A'askvarian once and yet he can't stomach to talk with the Terran woman?" Drax defended himself. As if Y/N's day couldn't get any worse, the man himself, Peter Quill, happened to be walking by. His headphones in his ears and his hands busily working on a part that he had just recently cleaned for his ship. He wasn't paying attention as he strolled by the bedroom but managed to hear the word 'A'askvarian' fly in the unmistakable voice of Drax. That got his attention and earned an eye roll from the Terran man. "Hearing A'askvarian coming from your mouth never gives me a good feeling." Peter groaned popping the ear buds from his ears as he stopped next to Drax in the door way, his eyes immediately fell on Y/N. His bottom lip curled between his teeth when he saw the pained look on her face. As if in a panic and not wanting to be caught looking, he turned his eyes back down to the part in his hands and began twisting screws and quickly re-screwing them in an attempt to look busy. "Quill! See I'll prove my point!" Drax all but yelled as he slammed his hand harshly down on Peter's shoulder causing the other man to flinch. "Drax dont." Gamora and Nat both pleaded as Y/N scooped up Groot and placed him on her shoulder, her eyes welling up from anger and embarrassment as she scooted herself up off the bed, she had to get out. Out of this room and away from Peter. The pleas fell on deaf ears as Drax continued on. "Tell these women that you do, in fact, find Y/N repulsive." Y/N almost made it to the door and hoped to squeeze past Drax and Peter but she was stopped when Drax's words caused Peter to fumble and drop the part with a startled high pitched "What?!" Echoing through the compound. Y/N stopped in front of both Drax and Peter, as the part hit and bounced off the carpet, both Peter and Y/N went down to grab it. Their hands managing to grab the part at the same time, their fingers brushing lightly as his hand over lapped hers. Feeling her soft, warm fingers under his he quickly jerked his hand back at stood up, his eyes wide from ahock. Y/N quickly jerked up the part and muttered a sorry before shoving the part roughly into Peter's hands making the hard steel jab his check just slightly, enough to knock him back a step so she could easily slip between Drax and himself. It was like slow motion, a scene from a horrible movie when their eyes briefly connected as she walked past him. Peter saw the tears welling up behind those E/C eyes. He felt awful. God only knows what Drax said to her before he walked by that made Y/N tear up so badly. Peter watched as Y/N walked swiftly past him and all but jogged down the hall, Groot holding onto her hair for stability as she ran. "What the hell?!" Peter finally snapped towards Drax once Y/N turned a corner and was gone from her sight. "What?" Drax asked honestly confused as to why Peter was snapping. He just gave an innocent look Peter's way before shrugging his broad shoulders. Fuming, Gamora stood up and stepped towards Drax and Peter. "Drax told Y/N that the reason you don't talk to her is because she is hideous." Gamora seethed as her hands slammed firmly on her hips. "Dude! Come on!" Peter felt a rush of anger was over him. "Why the fuck would you tell her that?! That's not why I don't talk to her! Besides, do you even have eyes that work you moron? She's not hideous!" Peter honestly couldn't stop the words that flew from his mouth. "Then why do you avoid her if she's not repulsive?" Drax rolled his eyes and folded his arms tightly across his chest. Nat and Mantis were siting silently. Nat wanted to get up and run after Y/N while punching Drax right in the throat for hurting her best friend's feelings, but she really did want to know Peter's reason for being distant. Perhaps it would smooth things over if she could get both sides. Peter's rage was quickly turning into self loathing. He hadn't meant you hurt anyone, least of all Y/N but he had his reasons, reasons he'd normally keep to himself but his need to fix Drax's mess was much more overpowering. "Because I think she's absolutely beautiful, you jerk, and that makes me nervous because I can't go after her. I don't want to do what my dad did to my mom and lead her on because incase you forgot, I won't be here on earth forever!"

[uno-duo-triotale]

who would like to read a really long backstory Post on Serif?

cause i wrote it out for,,, some reason. it’s kind of written in a loose biography fashion so its not very good. its also probably... horribly spelled and full of typos

Serif is the oldest recognized son of the famous and well recognized, highly esteemed scientist, WD Gaster. Most of his life was spent growing up on the military bases where his father worked and lived, was homeschooled, and often looked after by other military personnel- most particularly a high-ranking Mage Soldier, Grillby, incredibly well known for his Fire Magic. Grillby was who initially taught Serif how to use Human soul-based magic, an art highly valued by humans as it can only be taught by a highly skilled mage, or a monster, who were on incredibly unfriendly, tense terms with humans. Grillby was assigned to Gaster as a test subject, as Gaster's focus was on creating super soldiers based on magic, and so Grillby was frequently around, and much closer of a father figure than Gaster (incredibly neglectful, emotionally manipulative and at the worst of times physically abusive) would ever be, and a very uncooperative test subject for gaster, with no desire to allow magic to be gifted freely to human soldiers and increase killing. Another dear friend of Serif is another army brat- Undyne. she’s a year younger than him and they meet when they’re around 10 and 9. She’s the adoptive daughter of a very high official- Asgore- who’s militarily charged with Mt Ebott and the monsters inside it, and works closely with his father.

after several years of dead ends where grillby refused to cooperate with the magic tests, gaster turned to his own son's quickly growing capabilities. in the secret of their own home the experiments would take place and eventually Serif was condemned to the basement as a test subject and experiment. at around the age of 12, after being isolated for over a year, grillby finally gets through via threats of turning gaster in, and serif finally gets to leave the basement again. he comes out of the basement to the discovery that he now has a pair of twin brothers- sans and papyrus. his father doesnt even remember their mother's names and hints that he only had the children for the purpose of more test subjects at one point, ordering his son to begin teaching them magic (an insane thought, considering both of his brothers were only 5 months old at the time). the experiments are far from over, and continue for the next 4 years. over the course of these years, serif frequently takes his brothers to see Grillby, who- despite being discharged from the military (assumedly by gasters influence after the threats), continues to follow them around and set up near whatever military base. both his brothers show incredible talent for magic, just as Serif did when he was younger, and just like his father. Grillby agrees to help teach them at serif's request. during timespans where Gaster forbids them to leave the military bases and not see Grillby, they go instead to see Undyne. by 11 years old she’s vigerously training with her dad and other people to join the military herself when she’s older. Serif trains with her- papyrus joins in, too. both Papyrus and serif look up to her- she looks up to serif, too; she wants to learn magic. he tells her its a very bad idea. dont bother.

At age 4, two weeks after serif's 16th birthday, the youngest of the 4 year old twins, papyrus, makes a panicked and frantic call to the 911 operator that his Father is dead in the basement study and something is very wrong with his brothers. Police arrive on the scene to find Grillby already there, called by papyrus immediately before he had called 911. Serif is hysterical and radiating a dangerous level of magic, aglow with fiery lights, in the corner of the room, and Gaster's body lays dead at the foot of the far wall. Sans, unconscious, remains motionless in his arms and clutched to his chest. the mystery itself lies that they could find no reason Gaster is dead- his body is intact and completely undamaged with no cause of death- and despite that fact, Serif and his unconscious brother are horrifically spattered in blood, as is the rest of the room, and papyrus, too. police come to the conclusion there was an intruder. a monster, who was capable of killing a human. tensions had been so high- the assumption of it being a monster was just that- a cruel assumption, and the only guess they could have to what killed Gaster without a trace. Serif has no memory of this night. according to records taken on the younger brothers- Sans had been asked by his father to come to the lab- but as soon as they'd passed the doorway to the stairs, his memory is gone, as well; Papyrus had been woken from bed by horrible screaming and had run down to the basement- by the time he got there the screams had stopped and he'd stumbled on the scene almost exactly how the police had.

It takes Grillby 15 hours to calm the panicked serif to the point anyone can approach him. Sans is mortally wounded- several broken bones, dangerous Magic reactions, and several sudden deteriorating diseases he'd not had before including degenerating bone, flesh rotting, and other issues. serif would be tested to be showing these symptoms, progressing much slower, but over the course of many years. when Serif holds him, sans' deterioration ceases. its a mystery for weeks what is happening until its discovered in the lab some of gasters' notes. a compound known as RaGe has been released into both brothers bodies. Serif's was capable of adapting to it. Sans was not.

another up-and-coming doctor known as Alphys, also studying magic (for robotic applications, not human applications) is given his case. after about 4 months of study where all 3 brothers remain in custody question at the hospital, frequently visited and cared for by Grillby, in which Alphys works closely with the brothers, she finally concludes a possible way to treat them. the need a monster, though- and she... isnt 100% sure they will survive. Asgore, in charge of the mountain, is desperate to help the sons of his close, late partner and top scientist. confronted by grillby, alphys, and serif- he admits he has... ways to get a monster out of the underground secretly. he’s done it a few times now- orphaned children. he’s done it a fewtimes, and as he sets it up he admits it is the the 8th time, now. 

a monster child is retrieved from the Mountain by the name, Frisk. they are given to Alphys- who’s horrified. as is Serif and Grillby. Papyrus and Sans- unaware that Alphys’ original plan will involve possibly killing this monster child- a little goat monster- are quickly curious and already making friends. Frisk seems delighted. Alphys goes back to the drawing board. 

they’ve been sick for about a year, and finally custody was settled around 7 months. despite grillby’s best efforts, they have a will from gaster that his sons are to never be left with him. temporarily they are to stay with Asgore, their godfather in the will, and his divorcing wife Toriel.at about the year-long mark, Alphys has a new solution after studying frisk. this solution will only work with Sans- using frisk’s system to filter out rage. Sans body is not dependant on it nor does it produce RaGe- after filtering, he will be safe. Serif is not so luck- over the years Gaster has altered his body to rely and rapidly produce it. filtering it would make him very sick- and eventually he’d just recreate it. The amount Serif creates, too- it could and most likely would be toxic for Frisk, especially with the added amount in sans decaying his system. over time, Frisk would work it out of their body- monster’s Magic systems are more... porous, and things get worked out of them as they create magic. they’d be okay as long as their system isnt overloaded with RG at one time.

Serif asks frisk if they will save his brother’s life. Frisk -they agree immediately, determined, and without hesitation. the procedure commences within the hour and takes 42- and goes successful. He’s weaker and iller than he should be after so much time with it in his system- he’s got fragile bones and bruises easily, and has a very poor immune system. but he wont degrade any more. He’s going to be okay. Everyone is relieved. Alphys explains to Serif that- well, he was altered to handle this stuff. he’s not going to die from it- not for a long time, at least. but he needs to keep using his Mage Magic. using magic works some of it out of his system- its important to get most of it out. otherwise it will damage him. He doesnt mind- he likes using magic. he can use it for good. Grillby agrees to teach him more about magic- everything he knows. Frisk comes with Sans and Papyrus, now. they like to train. This continues even when Serif and his brothers move in with Asgore and Toriel. Serif spends most of his time now, taking care of his brothers, and training- be it with his siblings- including his newest little sibling Frisk, who stays with them at Asgores- or with Agore and Undyne, his friend. Without Gaster around, he finally agrees to help teach Undyne about magic, to see if she can use it. she’s not as adept as Serif’s family tree of mages. but she trains her hardest- and with her determination she can do just about anything. Their magics are very different, but, she figures out how to work hers out. theyre both delighted.

a week before Serif would turn 19, the tensions between Monsters and Humans have finally errupted and war has begun. undyne has drafted herself for war the day she turned 18- in an effort to come with her, help her, he drafts too. They both join the Army, specifically targeting Infantry and Footsoldier work. they train and train together even before their drafts are called. 

the war grows and gets worse and worse. they are only in training for a year before being deployed. 

Neither of them talk about that war, or very little of what happens. by the end, there are few to know monsters left alive. not much is known about what happened with them personally- from the very few letters exchanged after they were deployed, its known they got seperated from side-by-side fighting somewhere around the middle of the war. Undyne tore off to fight front-lines style, against bigger warriors. Serif was packed into a small squadron for other missions. he writes one letter to grillby thats perhaps the most gruesome- grillby doesnt end up reading the whole thing, only the first paragraph. the squadron had invaded an area known as snowdin in the cover of the undergrounds night cycle and while monsters slept, they dispatched them- full families in their beds. Grillby stopped readings when Serif admits he kills a goat child and doesnt notice how much they looked like frisk until they were dead. 

Undyne and Serif come home from the war at different times. Undyne comes home first, and everyone waits for weeks for Serif. weeks and then months. it takes 4 months for him to come home- he’s 21 and comes home in the back of a truck. Undyne came home exhausted and haunted but Serif- serif came back worse. he and Undyne dont talk to each other much, and he barely says anything to anyone- barely even responds when Asgore explains he had no choice but to send Frisk to a Holding Facility because they were a monster, or that the temporary custody settlments had finally been settled and his brothers had been moved to Fostercare- they have a good family, staying with the Mr and Ms Froggit, Toriel visits them all the time and takes them to see frisk. All these things Asgore tells him to try and comfort him but Serif never responds or seems to change. He sleeps for about 4 days after coming home. then he gets up, packs up, and goes with Toriel to see his brothers. They’re elated to see him. He cheers up incredibly in their presence. They go visit frisk with them- Frisk is so happy to see serif. he hugs them for a solid 15 minutes and they seem just fine in not being let go.

He goes back home with Toriel. Grillby comes over for dinner, he, Toriel, Asgore, and Undyne and her recently re-united girlfriend Alphys sit at the table. Alphys makes a joke about what he’s going to do now that hes home- he informs them he’s only going to be home for a week. he’s already enlisted to go oversees and continue his service. Grillby is outraged- and so is Asgore. Toriel is horrified. Undyne slams her fists on the table. Alphys looks shocked. Serif- looks just like he did the first 5 minutes he was home. Undyne accuses that they’re supposed to serve they times together and all 3 of his acting paternal figures demand he get more rest, Asgore says something like that cant be legal or allowed he return the quick. serif explains neutrally- he was approached by a man to join a special division. covert operations- survival skills- his magic- they need him there for training next week, he will be deployed as with a special team- but theyll part and he’ll work solo. he explains the foreign territory he’ll work- he talks calmly. 

Undyne slams her hands on the table and leaves immediately. she’s gone on her way to- do whatever she can to end up serving with him. she cant, even with her track record and feild work. in anger she enlists for the soonest deployment she’s allowed in the same area. Serif spends his week visiting his brothers and frisk every day- by night hes out of the house doing god knows what and comes home drunk as hell twice late the next morning someone else leaves his room and leaves the house, having come home with him. he leaves early in the morning before anyone in the house wakes up without a goodbye, everything he has gone. 

he comes home maybe once or twice a year- to see his brothers, see frisk ,see his family. maes quite a few jokes about ‘having fun’ with the locals with undyne- theyre amusing and she jokes along but mentions to gaster that she’s worried about him.

he’s 23 and still doing his mysterious work- ocassionaly he meets up with Undyne covertly- but there's a brewing war with the country he’s in. everyone at home is begging him to come home- undyne included, she keeps tracking him down when she can and asking they both go home, before theres deplyment in the area they can leave. 

That war never comes; his timeline makes a surprising horror-story twist and a few thousand miles from them is ground 0; the news erupts with a story most people dont believe. zombies. a media joke to most of the world, what, zombies? neither Serif and Undyne have heard about it- they’re in the middle of work, no time for the news. Serif has a devious little gnashing teeth encounter- assumes it was a man gone crazy. the second one is too much of a coincidence withing 12 hours of the first-- he aproaches the nearest village with a caution that saves his life. people run and scream and die. he cant honestly believe it himself but he tears off to the North, knowing exactly where Undyne and her team are stationed. The little outpose base is in a panic- they’re here too. with a good use of magic he rids the post of the infected. Undyne and half of her team, alive. She’s the captain and orders they march now to help the village- Serif outranks her, she’s shocked to find. he orders they leave- now. they’re retreating right now- taking the military vehicle and driving to the nearest airport and going home. immediately. no stops. If they dont get home before that don there gets out of hand, they-re screwed. there wont be ny airplanes to ross an ocean, he says. Undyne thinks he fucking crazy, she marches to leave- he knocks her out and throws her in the back seat. the team follows his lead and they pile in. He informs them as he takes the wheel and tears out down a road that they are all officially awol. none of them really seem to care. zombies are a shock. Serif’s a fun liar and with a lot of jokes about how tired his unconscious companion is, he explains to a woman using his military position that they need to board the plane. a bit impressive, in all honesty. 

He and the group board and fly and split up on-landing, instructed to go get their families and, if they want to join up, meet up at a specific location. Serif picks his alphys’ lab and orders them all meet there by 3 days. He takes off with Undyne, who after so many hours of unconsciousness comes to in the car he stole. he points out to her they’re already back home. she’s shocked. he states firmly that he’s kidnapping frisk when they pull into the complex to Undyne. double the shocked. she comes with him. smiles and all- the personell know Serif. he gets to frisk. they smile and hug and joke. Frisk calls him sweaty and dirty- he very much is, fresh from the field. He picks up frisk, still smiling and joking with a glance to the monitoring personel near by, and holds a hand out to Undyne. his still shocked companion takes it- and promptly the three of them are shortcutted out of the holding facility and into the parking lot. He buckles frisk into the back seat with a hum, the kid thoroughly confused. Undyne- who’s shortcutted with him before many times, just gets in the passenger door. Serif tears off in the stolen car before the surpised personel at the facility can even raise an alarm. theyre gone. Serif changes out his stolen car along the way. He pulls up to the school he knows his brothers attend and walk home from. they wait for a few moments there. despite frisk frantically asking confused questions, he only smiles and jokes. Undyne his quiet and squinting, and when the school lets out an hour into waiting, breaks him from his jokes at frisk to inform them that Sans and Papyrus are coming out. She yells out the window, and hearing her voice, the come running immedeatly, expecting and soon confirming that Serif is with her. They’re even happier when they climb in the car and discover Frisk. they’re so excited, asking if Frisk is finally allowed to come home again. Serif jokes around more. he changes out his stolen car again on the way home, to the confusion of his brothers who are a bit horrified theyre brother is stealing a car. He and undyne buckle them in. and move on.

They walk into the house that afternoon to Asgore on the phone. the high ranking official has already been informed that his adopted daughter has gone missing, as well as her whole platoon, and upon checking, Serif as well. toriel is pacing the living room with him, frantic. they’re beyond relieved and rush the two. Serif hangs the phone in asgore’s hand up during their hug, and when they pull apart, he asks to take it. Asgore, surprised, agrees. He calls grillby without pause. tells him to pick up everyone he can from the bar- which should be open and is- and head over to Alphys’ lab. dont hesitate. pick up everyone you can. bring as much food and water as you can. 

he hangs up a moment later. He looks at asgore. can you get your hands on weapons? a lot of them? he knows asgore can- they’re on a military base. 

Asgore doesnt hesitate. he already knows- he’s a high official. he sighs. there’s already been a potting in the country, he says, dreading. theyre mobilizing military forces... he wasnt optimistic about what this was going to mean.

a lot of people are very lucky. a lot of people make it to the store house that Serif knew is prepared in Alphys’ lab. the anxious scientist woman had been using her magic and robotics to design a safe house under the lab. a lot of people get there. a lot of people get safe. its almost completely sustainable. 

it’s safe for a whole year down there, too. it was safe a whole year until serif exploded with RaGe in there. until he killed some people- by accident- he cause so much panic. the people fled through the safe doors. there was only 1 zombie in the area and it was all it took. one bite and there were two. and then 4. and then 8. people fled the doors from him when he lost it and many of them died. at least when he had zombies he had something to turn his RG to. zombies and the people screaming withing them died. very few of the people in that safe hatch who survived the year lived. most of them people who knew Serif and new what was wrong- they just stayed away and stayed quite and didnt attract attention. they didnt scream and they didnt flee the complex and they didnt fight against him. 

after that, the few people who’d survived threw him out. understandably. 

his family followed after him and left the vault. he begged them to stay. Grillby, Asgore, Toriel, Alphys, Undyne- papyrus, sans, frisk. children, kids. the people he loved. go back inside.

they refused. 

for two years they lived nomadically. the scavenged and hunted and killed and protected one another. one day they even found theyre way back to the vault- the dors were open. there was no one left down there. 

at the end of that two year mark, the Alternates came. Sayrus informed them thet they were indeed the last people alive and not zombies on the planet, not withstanding a ver few amount of people- a couple groups of canabals who were slowly eating themselves to extinction, a few people running around pilfering and raping and such. there were only a few other people left in the world that they’d deemed acceptable to save- they’d contacted Sayrus’ friend, koyol, and he’d come with His People and saved anyone who was worth it. all that was left now were them. Serif was one of them. Sayrus was offering them a place to stay with him and his blooming Haven of siblings. everyone would be welcome from their group. Monsters and Humans alike. 

serif and his family took the offer.

[anewenfartist]

Writing Critique for the ENF-Sports Contest

Writing Critique

The following are judge comments on the writing submissions (for people who wrote, and agreed they’d like to see the critique on their work from the judges). The critique isn’t meant to reveal what judge placed you in what spot. The comments and submissions will be in no particular order. Judges were not required to provide comments, but they were allowed to if they felt they wanted to share their thoughts with the contestants.

Even if it’s not your entry, I encourage any artists to look at this critique and consider it. Reading critique of someone else’s work could give you good insight what to do with your own art too!

If your stuff isn’t listed here, but you want it to be, let me know. I can edit your stuff in.

There is an exception to the writing comments. IGankMid did a great job of organizing their thoughts, but some tie into other critiques. Sorry if there were writers who didn’t want this public, but this one has to be posted as a whole. So everything from Gank will be here:

sta.sh/015aopok87ht

 princebuffoon.deviantart.com/a…

- The start's nervousness and build up is great with such nice little details and observations as she prepares. As it continues, it's clear word choice is definitely a strong suit of yours, fantastic vocabulary and ability to paint little moments. There are some grammatical errors here and there, though very few, and probably not as noticeable to a reader who isn't scouring it critically. The buildup continues to be great, my heart racing along with the stories character. I'm of course left wondering 'why' she entered of course, but that seems to be less and less important as you're so wrapped up in the events. A fantastic entry!

* * *  A creative and effective combination of the main contest themes. The story is well-paced, managing to keep things constantly moving while still fully explaining the premise, and held together by a view from Six’s internal narrative. A great entry!

kinkyquill.tumblr.com/post/160…

- The grandiose start with the competitors on stage made for a good scene set up. The variety of events and characters allowed for a couple of different angles to be covered.  This has the risk of some parts feeling a bit lacking in depth though. A bit of a more careful eye should also be considered for editing, some errors did seem to slip by. The characters seem a lot of fun, and it seems like a lot of stories could be told with them, as groups or even individually. Interesting risk with the ending, leaving it up to the reader.

 * * * This entry was very on-theme, good job! Since there were so many characters in a relatively short story, there wasn’t much time to get invested them all. I wasn’t previously familiar with any of the characters in the inter-narrative, but their personalities came across quickly through their actions and reactions. I didn’t expect the cliffhanger ending, but it won me over.

anonenffan.deviantart.com/art/…

- The start is a bit slow and stilted, but things pick up with the clever idea of a song from her past inspiring her. The character's personality I feel were well thought out, her want to win and do better fueling herself to push herself in other risky ways. The vocabulary at points feels redundant or too reused. You do a well enough job avoiding grammar and spelling errors. The ENF was on the light side as well at the start, but you do eventually pay off that risk with some true proper conflict and worry.

 * * * This story had one of the simpler settings, which allowed the character and plot to take center stage. The slow build of tension worked well, finishing strongly with an exciting conclusion. The details were well thought-out too, from “Run to Cure the Common Cold” to “Average Jill’s Gym.” Quality writing, as usual from Anon!

ldnnld.deviantart.com/art/Bare…

- A fierce rivalry of events with mischief abound is a good set up. The embarrassment aided upsets were a nice touch. Characters were a bit cliché and lacking much depth, but were still fun to see sabotaging each other. I feel some scenes could have used a bit more focus and descriptions, just to add a bit more zest. Still a fun little story with some classic pranks.

* * * This story had a nice symmetry to it. It was predictable, since you knew that one section would very likely build and reverse on the next, but I still found this structure aesthetically pleasant. The competitive spirit of both characters showed strongly, but I didn’t pick up much else about who they are. There were a few technical mistakes, but they didn’t get too much in the way of the story. (I’d suggest getting someone to proofread next time, though.) 

- ewong247.deviantart.com/art/Ka…

- I found the story to be fun, good use of determination to play to get her to stay so undressed. Your descriptions were good too. The biggest crippling issue with the story though is that you at times seem to really get the wrong word put into some sentences, sometimes to the point where I wasn't sure what it should be. The story would do well from a proof read where the lines are spoken out loud I believe.

 * * * This took a kernel of reality and expanded it into a whole story. Katelyn felt like a real character (although none of the background characters resonated with me particularly). There were a couple of typos (e.g. “ur was useless” instead of “it was useless”, “they naked fighterfeel” instead of I think “the naked fighter fell”?), but overall the story was still well-written.

www.asianfanfics.com/story/vie…

- I like the set up, and felt the girl's dynamic was cute. I think Eunjung gave in a bit quickly to give up her panties though, there could have been more time spent with that, to clarify it being such a big deal. Some of the dialogue feels a little stilted too. Pacing could be stronger as well I feel, but overall the story was fun. The romantic angle was also very sweet. Oh, no points were docked for this, but hosting your story on a site that won't censor it to non members is probably best in the future for contest entries. Don't want to make it tough on judges and readers to get to your content.

 * * * Definitely a cute concept. The sports and ENF are mostly confined to the first half of the story, with the second half being more romance. My main problem was that a lot of the characters’ actions felt somehow hollow to me, not really meshing with the personalities I was seeing in their words and reactions. It might have helped me follow along if the story spent more time to highlight their motivations for all these hijinks. The hijinks themselves were fun though, and the general story structure was solid.

divides.deviantart.com/art/Ane…

- Another entry with a very unique setting, taking full advantage of the openness of the contest! High stakes game that forces players to play along with ridiculous whims is definitely a great concept as well, and it's handled in as fun of a way as the fun that the princess and such seem to have with it. Only thing I feel the story lacked was getting to know a few of the characters better or focusing on some moments more. * * * A lovely take on alien Calvinball! There was a humorous undercurrent throughout the story, with plenty of cute moments from the protagonists. There were a bunch of characters, but each of their personalities came across clearly during the short story. Congrats on a fine ENF sports story!

tyvadi.deviantart.com/art/Goob…

- I would have to say this is one of the more original sports for the contest for sure. I loved the fascination of our main girl as she is so transfixed on her petrified schoolmate. A shame to see it end in such a "To Be Continued" but that's a shame because I do want to read more, and that's a sign of a good stoy for sure. Your grammar and spelling seem to be quite well done. Yet really, it doesn't feel criminally short and unfinished, so probably your greatest flaw.

* * *

This was definitely an unexpected and unique setting, compared to the other entries. Though this judge was completely unfamiliar with slime/petrification, they were integrated in a way that didn’t unduly distract from the main contest themes. The structure and details of the story were well-crafted, and it had plenty of sports and ENF elements.

rrrrrricossssssuave.deviantart…

- The setting of course stands out as pretty original, don't see many stories like this set in ancient Greece! There are few small tense errors or missed spellings, especially as the story goes on. The contrast of the many men around her, some so intimidating as our antagonist, is a strong contrast to our ENF star, which works I think for adding to her sticking out more. Very happy to see her win as well.* * *A very interesting entry! The setting and tone both match with a sort of “ancient legend” feel, which was a different take than most on the contest themes. It made for an effective story! The core structure was simple - a hero overcoming an obstacle - but it’s a classic one! The style made the story very immersive. (I didn’t notice any big English problems, except an occasional strange tense. E.g. “Clyo has never seen a more magnificent temple” was a sudden present tense.)

http://lunagold1.deviantart.com/art/Strip-Basketball-683619069?ga_submit_new=10%3A149619

- The story's biggest problem is that it's a tad straight forward. Events followed by events without much highlighting or focusing on any subjects. The overall premise is a great set up for a story. With a bit more polish and spice added, you'd have a great tale.

* * *

I could see this working well as a script for actors - it’s dialogue-focused and has the main beats for actions. I liked that there was a surprise ending. The spelling/grammar mistakes were somewhat distracting, so I’d really recommend getting a friend to help proofread.

 http://pokemorphomega.deviantart.com/art/contest-Stripshooting-680527642

- The sport is definitely a fun idea. Girls shooting and making other girl's clothes vanishing is fun. A few inconsistencies in terms of personalities and rules I felt. A few grammar mistakes like missing words cause a bit of a delay in understanding a sentence or two. The characterizations feel a bit forced and sudden without much build up too. The tonal difference between cute exposure and death is a bit stark as well.

* * *

The repeated character death really made this story hard to read for me. I had to read it at an emotional distance to get through it at all, which hampered any impact it could have had otherwise. I'm sure there's a target audience for this story, but at least for this judge, the casual killings got in the way of everything else.

 http://jawolfadultishart.deviantart.com/art/Melty-Times-at-the-Pool-Contest-Entry-682799317

It's interesting to know so clearly ahead of time what will happen. Suspense surely does build, wondering when disaster will finally strike. Really enjoying some of the attention to detail you give. Your vocabulary is definitely not a weak point either. There are few grammar hiccups I noticed as I went. Especially thought your description of the suit coming apart was pretty great. A very fun short tale overall.

* * *

A pretty simple ENF story, with a typical setup/reveal/aftermath structure. I couldn’t really get a feel for who Amanda was as a character, apart from a bit at the end when interacting with her friend. I liked the content of the two descriptive paragraphs: the one starting with “Her lungs burned” and the one starting with “The judge raises a hand.” However the first few words weren’t very representative of the paragraphs’ contents, so they would have been easy to accidentally skim over if I weren’t in contest-judging-read-every-word-mode. It might have helped to split them up into two or three paragraphs, to let the reader know which beats are important. (Erotica readers can be impatient, so you have to guide them!)

 http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=58894;article=58654;title=The%20ASN%20Story%20Board

You have some really good atmosphere to the story, that's for sure. Nice angle part way through as well with using commentary as an alternate way to narrate the story partway through to change it up for a bit. Good job capturing the excitement and action too. The main flaw I'd say is the story could have focused more on some ENF themes. So a bit of a miss with the theme since so many other types of emotions take over the story, and ENF was supposed to be a big deal of course.

* * *

- Cool world-building! Kate has a good character arc over the course of the story, which is the main strength of this entry. (I didn’t connect very much with Maria or the other background characters while reading, but maybe others did.) The sci-fi setting was a cool backdrop for a “dangerous racing” story.