#anxiety loophole

[donotputmeinaboxturtle]

Just went back and read some of my posts from last year.

3 Positive Things

I've made new friends since those posts. I've made friends with a few special people that continue to be happy when they see me, and want to know what's going on in my life. T and me are making plans to go to the art museum 🎨😁

My social anxiety is getting better. I don't walk in to work thinking I may not be able to talk to people that day. There have been newer hires, and younger coworkers who have been shaky on speaking up, and the mom friend loophole to my anxiety has kicked in. My workspace is most people's happy place. Many people walk in and say how much they love being there, and that has helped me too I think. I'm part of what makes someone feel more comfortable and happier, and that's important to me.

My boss is more confident in my skills as a designer, and sets me up with more creative projects every week 🍂✨ I'm glad she feels she can count on me, boosts my confidence😁 I'm looking forward to being creative this week, I'll try and remember to take pics.

Here's a spooky tree I've set up! Halloween is around the corner🎃

[star-boxer]

I love ignoring things

[cubbihue]

Could we maybe get some big daddy content, maybe him trying teach Peri and Timmy the “family business”

Big Daddy liked spending time with his grandsons a lot when they were younger! Peri was very fascinated with all the stories his grandpa shared. Though for a good chunk of them, Timmy had to cover his ears for.

As they grew older, Big Daddy was very interested in teaching his grandsons how to run the "family business". Wanda had to put a stop to it when she found Peri was learning how to use a weaponized wand. Big Daddy has good intentions and a big heart! He's just a bit misguided on how to express it to his grandsons haha.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[thelastspeecher]

Inspired by the tornado warning that kept me at work yesterday past when I was supposed to leave and the footage and photos showing up of yesterday's tornadoes...

Storm chaser AU

[misha060]

Is it going to be forever? This ache I carry every single day. It morphs, shifting its shape, consuming my mind in ways I can’t predict. I live with the constant fear of what tomorrow’s pain will bring—wondering which part of me will break this time. Is this what trauma does? Traps you in a loop of endless hurt, where each day is just another version of pain.

[fenkizard]

Writing my Donnie sic fic while I’m sick and dizzy would be like super smart because easy access to symptom descriptors but haha uh I don’t want to write because sick and dizzy

[daz4i]

anyone else feels like their every action is motivated by either fear or guilt or is it just me and the guy who wrote no longer human

[normiematsu]

i wish i could go to the konbini the bros always hang out at in s3 to flex my superior social interaction skills on them. look how swag i am asking a super normie passing employee where to find something/order food. (not pictured: me having to go outside afterwards and lie on the sidewalk to recover)

[blujayonthewing]

channeling High School Jay for for juniper vibes comes in clutch once again with the realization that I can get more of the astarion conversation outcomes I want by virtue of his being more conversationally forceful than she really knows how to push back against

[galaxysharks]

Technically, the season ended on Shallow Lake's opening night. In theory, the camp could last another week to mimic a stage production with several performances.

And if the camp begins on a set date rather than a day, then the three week camp could conceivably fall across four separate weeks, this explaining the S1 'month-long' theater camp thing.

[akgerhardt]

Shiny new au in progress

[wind-becomes-lightning]

People giving moots presents and my anxiety spikes that I didn't prepare anything

[wiccan-succulento]

I think I have absolutely just hacked the ever loving fuck out of myself

One of my mental blocks and gateways to a downward spiral is that I feel I need to be doing something deemed productive 24/7/365. I can't rest because- in childhood- that would mean I am being lazy; essentially "resting" gives me anxiety and therefore turns it into something other than rest. I then usually push myself beyond my energy and physical limits by overdoing anything and everything to overcompensate for my self-perceived failure. Though this has followed me in all aspects of life, not just rest.

But I think I've found my loophole

I've just written down lists of my personal, financial, mental, etc goals. It includes everything from keeping my home clean to making efforts to branch out to possible friends to what I want to have in savings. Part of my mental/emotional goals involves self soothing and proactive coping that may improve my capability of calming anxieties. As well as incorporating more mindfulness and self care into my day. With specific goals in mind, it has dawned upon me that I now am spending my time in life Always. Working. Towards. My. Goals. Meaning, no matter what I am doing, resting or active, it is serving myself in a purposeful manner and I am somehow making progress.

And, on top of that, it lessens my anxiety about not using my time "as I should". Idk how other people use their time in life, and I always fear I am wasting time or simply rotting away, but this is what I have decided that I am doing with my life/time- and I feel very motivated with that in mind

If I am always working towards a goal, whether physically or mentally, then I am now, technically, always doing something. And maybe, just maybe, I can mentally grasp the concept of genuine rest and its benefits without the guilt/shame.

Goal of calming my mind? Simply existing and spending time "doing nothing" or resting or being in nature does that. BAM

It's a good day

[wren-kitchens]

kinda venty/rant thing in tags cause im embarassed by it and dont wanna put it in a post HDJSK

[eloquentspeeches]

guess who's going to try and add last minute refs onto art fighttttt

definitely not ME lol lmao what a fool to wait until the first day when the website is notoriously slow to put up refs. wow couldn't be me.

[coulsonlives]

Well this is terrifying.