#anti-Claire bear

[undead-moth]

I gotta say I forgot until rewatching The Bear recently how much I hate Claire. I don't mean as a character. I understand why her character was introduced and the purpose it served and she's an integral part of the overarching story being told -

But as a person, if she were a real person, I hate her so much.

She bumped into a childhood friend she hadn't spoken to in years, right? From what I can tell, she and Carmy were never close friends. They went to the same school. Their social circles were in close proximity, maybe even overlapped to a degree - but the two of them, specifically, were not close friends. Not even close enough to be friends.

And she bumps into him after years without speaking to him, and basically asks for Carmy's number. Carmy's in a social situation where it would be somewhat rude, and very awkward, to deny her, and Claire is aware that's the case, and purposefully exploits it.

Then later, she finds out he gave her a fake number. She's an intelligent person. She knows it wasn't by mistake. And what does she do? She goes to fucking Fak and gets his real number, which she knows Carmy doesn't want her to have, and then calls Carmy and asks him why he gave her a fake number as if that isn't? Self-explanatory? Why do people usually give fake numbers, Claire?

And once again, she's putting him in this position where it would be very rude, and very awkward, to say, "I didn't give you my real number because I didn't want you to have my real number." She's already aware that he wasn't able to bring himself to do the rude and awkward thing the first time - she knows he won't be able to this time either. And then she has the audacity to tell him not to "make it weird," and ask him if he's actually okay with her having his number, when she knows he wouldn't feel comfortable telling her the truth!

What is wrong with her? If she were a male character we would all rightfully hate her. We would all readily recognize that this behavior is inappropriate, stalker-like behavior. And what's most infuriating about it is most women have been in this situation before, where a guy has asked them for their number and they didn't feel safe or comfortable outright saying, "No." Most women have given fake numbers, especially young, conventionally attractive women like Claire. You can't tell me that Claire has never given a fake number before.

And then? What does she do? She excuses her own inappropriate behavior by telling him that the only reason she's calling is to ask him to help her move? Are you fucking kidding me? First of all, "Can you help me move?" is the kind of question you generally only ask people who are pretty close to you, because you're aware it's a laborious and unenjoyable thing to do. But on top of that, she's supposedly asking Carmy because she knows that Carmy at one point owned a truck and might still own that truck. The same truck Neil Fak could just as easily drive! Why the fuck are you asking Carmy to help you move in case he still owns that truck, when you could ask Fak, who you are much closer to? Like? You're really going to ask someone you haven't spoken to in years, who you just happened to bump into, and who very obviously intentionally gave you a fake number, to help you move? When you already know he's not comfortable turning you down?! What is wrong with her? How fucking entitled is that?

And one thing that is frustrating is how even though we are meant to root against Carmy and Claire's relationship, and there's purposeful foreshadowing of its end, and even narrative hints that Claire isn't right for Carmy, and that she's an antagonist in this story - I don't think we're supposed to have a problem with her behavior. I don't think any of this was meant to contribute to us not liking her, or not wanting Carmy to be with her. I really think we were supposed to be endeared by all of this and think it's all perfectly normal flirtation, and not manipulative and predatory behavior.

What's more is that the heart of this story isn't about a man opening a restaurant, or a man falling in love - it's about a man learning to recover from trauma. If you found the lowest common denominator of this story and simplified it, that's what this story would be about. A mentally ill man healing.

I just rewatched the freezer scene. It is alarming - but all of it says more about how Carmy perceives himself, than how he sees Claire, or their relationship, or love. All of it is a neon sign advertising Carmy's severe mental state, and it is obvious this man needs help. He needs support. He needs reassurance from loved ones.

I understand why Claire hearing what Carmy said would be hurtful. I understand why she would be upset. I understand why she would be questioning their relationship.

And still, I think, you really just heard Carmy, this man you supposedly love, say all that - and you're just going to leave him like that? You're just going to leave and not reach out again at any point?

And especially with Claire, who is a medical professional working in the fucking emergency room. I would bet on a daily basis she gets people in the emergency room who are in a state of mental distress. Who are thinking about killing themselves, or have attempted to kill themselves. She knows what mental illness looks like, how it manifests, and the way it makes people think!

And she just left! She just left because she took it all personally and made it all about herself and how it affected her!

You can't tell me that woman ever loved Carmy. You can't even tell me that woman ever knew Carmy.

And if this was all it took - one single glimpse into Carmy's trauma - to make her leave, she was never, ever going to be right for Carmy. She was never, ever going to be what Carmy needed. She was never, ever going to be "healthy" for him, or "peace."

Sydney has glimpsed Carmy's trauma on multiple occasions now. She glimpsed it in season 1, when she and Carmy had only begun to have a mutual respect and investment in each other on an acquaintance shared-workspace level - and even though Syd left too, she came back. She came back even when Carmy's symptoms then were being purposefully directed at her and others - whereas Claire was never supposed to hear what Carmy was saying in the freezer. Syd came back even though they weren't committed in the same way, even though she wasn't supposedly in love with him, and even though what she got was worse. And she's been in that same position multiple times since, to different degrees - but nonetheless. She always knows her worth, and what she deserves - but it never means abandoning Carmy completely. It never means making his problems about her.

Fuck Claire so much, honestly. I'm so glad she's gone. This is just another way it is so obvious it was always, always going to be Sydney.

[ficsinhistory]

I've been in the brainrot Sydcarmy and The Bear for a while now and I noticed something extremely interesting in all the thing about Syd+Carmy+Claire.

about how in the media it's very common for the protagonist to have a main love interest, a woman who has been there since day 1 and who is already a known to the public, who is generally removed from his focus after he finds a temporary girlfriend, who is almost always black, who only serves to develop the plot, the protagonist and make him realize his feelings for his love interest and has almost no deepening.

Except that Syd, an ambitious, smart, black woman, is our reference and focus. The one that has been there since day 1 is her.

And if Syd is already our reference, the one that Carmy clearly has interest, knowloge and connection with first, that leaves Claire with the other role.

about how everyone knows Claire so well…but we don't. We don't see the connection, scenes, impact (and I dare say neither does Carmy)

something, something, about how Claire doesn't have depth because she wasn't made for it, because she fulfills a role as a non-character functionality, something, something, about how Claire is the other woman, something, something , that the plot makes it clear that Sydney is the one whose aspirations, fears, family, and who should have our focus, as well as Carmy's. something, something like the trope is there, just not in the "usual way".

[freedelusionshere]

Claire, Carmy, and Neil.

I fully support giving Neil his happy ending.

[strawberryscare]

can’t stop thinking abt the only time we see carmy wear a The Beef tshirt is when he cooks dinner for claire. you know, the piece of clothing he refused for all of season 1 (when their restaurant was Actually called that) and asked everyone else to switch OUT of (to white shirts and blue aprons).

something something claire fundamentally does not allow carmy to grow as a person + represents carmy’s backsliding into his past something

[brokenwinebox]

[yannaryartside]

does someone else suddenly remembers that Carmy YELLED for Sydney while having a mental breakdown, asking people to get her to him, all while his official girlfriend was actually a few meters by?

Because I do, and every time I am like

[ambeauty]

Was it peaceful when she asked somebody else for his number after he intentionally gave her the wrong one? Was it peaceful when she interrupted his day of work to ask him to help her move some furniture? Was it peaceful the way she tried to joke about his brother’s suicide when he clearly hasn’t grieved properly? Was it peaceful when she brought him to a party full of people from high school when they are grown ass adults and she knows he didn’t have friends like that in high school? Was it peaceful when she left her best friend grieving a break up for a man? Was it peaceful when she begged the chef to cook for her? Was it peaceful when he kicked everybody out who was working towards his dream just so he could be alone with her? Was it peaceful when he had a panic attack after sleeping with her? Was it peaceful when she stormed the back of the kitchen after friends and family when he was having a meltdown? Was it peaceful when she made the entire meltdown about herself? Was it peaceful for her to be talking shit about him to anybody that would listen? Was it peaceful for her to not ask is he even ok? Was it peaceful for her favorite day to be Monday? Was it peaceful? Was it?

Or is she just speaking in a low tone of voice in an almost dream like quality? Is her existence to him only peaceful in his mind? Don’t let soft voices and pretty faces fool you. They are full of fallacies. Like sirens.

Thank you to my pookie @sydneys-adamu for letting me scream everytime I get annoyed 🥴

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Claire is the mother Carmy has always wanted.

Claire is seen this season caring for young boys. She takes care of and successfully distracts a young boy to take a shot and putting a bone back in its place.

The scene where she fixes a bone - seems familiar? It's connected to the story in 2x02, Pasta, where Claire describes wanting to understand a young girl's injuries from a broken arm. She never said she was interested in fixing it, rather she wanted to understand it. Carmy's question about whether she wanted to fix it was projecting, hoping she could heal his childhood wounds.

If only Donna were as gentle and happy as Claire, who imagines fixing kids' injuries, maybe he'd be different. Maybe he could enjoy life more and be happier if he were taken care of.

From the beginning, Claire disarms carmy when he sees her smile. Something Donna barely did.

And she's known as Disarming Carmy in a few articles. I think the song "Disarm" from season 3 relates to Claire in the sense that her own happy disposition disarmed Carmy's wounded inner child, and it's what he hopes Donna could be.

"Disarm" by Smashing Pumpkins as played on 3x10 Forever

It's carmy hoping Claire heals his inner child the whole time. It's a song that has to do with our inner children wounded and attempting to find healing.

The relationship was never going to work because Carmy is stuck in the hope that he could have had a different childhood and that he could fix it in the present.

What solidifies this is Fak sharing stories of Carmy never being happy because of Donna and losing his childhood. Fake hopes in some way Claire could heal Carmy.

Claire, after giving it some thought or at least considering it, closes the book and informs the Faks that it's finished. There's a part of Claire that also wants to help heal Carmy's inner child wounds, but ultimately, he has to fix himself.

No woman could be his mother or babysitter.

Makes these two scenes all the more significant:

Take note of the two scenes where Chef Terry and Sydney are wearing scarves with lines. Even though Sydney calms Carmy, she firmly tells Carmy that she's not there to fix whatever inner damage he has. She is a peaceful figure in his life, but she's not the babysitter and calming influence Chef Terry was for Carmy. Sydney has her own problems and journey that Carmy has to understand and assist with as the series progresses.

There is something about the influence of women in Carmy's life and the connections he must make to grow. However, there's a line between using these women as a stepping stone towards growth and using these women as his source of inspiration. He has to heal his inner child to become the man he wants to be without relying on the women to babysit or care for him unequally.

"You gotta figure that parent shit out first"

-Joanna Calo

Tagging: @currymanganese @whenmemorydies @vacationship @fresaton @moodyeucalyptus @ambeauty

[josru]

a little rant:

If you need to understand one thing about the Bear subreddit, here it is.

It's not a supportive place for women, let alone black women/women of colour. (Not surprising, as reddit is male and white dominated.) Sydney gets mad hate for daring to be apart of the main relationship in the show (that is now defunct), something that the writers wrote for her? Regardless if you see Sydcarmy as romantic or not. The whole point of the Bear is their partnership.

And yet the Bear fandom on reddit loves to diminish her role, and act as if Sydney is an uppity black woman who needs to be rid of. They act like it's surprising that people want to talk about her or like her. And they also think Sydcarmy is mad overrated and implausible. They bring it up constantly because it pisses them off that a sizeable portion of us love it.

Probably because Sydney is an actual character we can relate to and root for. But oh no, men don't like that because that means she isn't a perfect little white fantasy, and she has actual problems and ideas and speaks on them, and she's BLACK, god forbid!! And they could never have empathy for someone who wasn't themselves. Sydney is annoying to them because it reminds them they don't care about other people.

It's barely a place for white women too, because they only like you if you're a gf/therapist/not your own person. A flat, 2-D image with no problems. They don't care about Jess or Claire, they just want to fuck them. Even in this post, the respect of relatability and empathy is given to Richie in the title, because he finally "got some", despite the picture being of Jess. Like, great, guys, you diminished a woman (a PERSON) to being a "win" for a man, because that's all that matters, right? Whether or not a woman is a fuckable prize?

Even the writing of the show actually just pushes the whole "if women = gf, = only gf, nothing else" trope. So in a weird way, I guess I know where they're getting it from, but I expected more from adult men? My bad.

Women deserve to be more than someone's fantasy!! I am sick and tired of this misogynistic drivel. I also think it's fucked up how much of these dudes on reddit love Richie this much. Like, we get it, you think he's a self-help sigma alpha chad king now. Just keep ignoring the problems he keeps creating, how irritating he can be sometimes, as well as the fact that men picking up their lives will always have way more support than female characters. Richie is not some underdog character lol. The narrative of the show has made it clear he is very beloved and will have a nice, sweet arc.

Unlike Sydney, and Marcus, and apparently maybe even Tina. But yes, keep talking about how your white male character is the underdog who is being sooo mistreated and finally got something he deserved, even though in actuality, Syd and every other POC got treated like shit this season. It's like they swapped them, the real main characters, and made them the underdogs/tertiary while Richie has become so important. But it's key to reddit's white male victim complex that Richie is finally getting "good treatment" when he never suffered being completely ignored by the writers at all, and he was never at risk of that either.

[radio-ghost-cooks]

its so wild to me how ya'll don't understand the point of Claire

Claire feels wildly out of place in The Bear bc she IS wildly out of place.

when Carmy gave her a fake number (which most people would understand as turning them down) she asked Fak for the real one. from day fucking one she just strong-armed herself into Carmy's life.

all she did was drag Carm back into the man he was before coming back to Chicago bc that's all she knew him as. and Carmy being his anxious, scared self let her bc it was something easy to fall back into when everything else around him was so hard.

Claire isn't meant to be one of those well-developed main characters we're so used to in The Bear. she's meant to be the last thing holding Carm back.

[whenmemorydies]

The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card: Part 2 (Timing)

A couple weeks ago, I posted a prediction on the significance of the hair claw, the scrunchie and the prayer card that appear in Carmy's apartment in season 3. In that analysis, I suggested that these items represent three particular characters on the show and Carmy's relationships with them (FYI: the hair claw = Natalie, the scrunchie = Sydney and the prayer card = Richie). We see the scrunchie and the prayer card together at the end of 3x09 Apologies, placed in the same spot in Carmy's apartment. The first and last time we see the hair claw however, is in 3x01 Tomorrow, the first episode of the season.

In their reblog of The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card meta, @moodyeucalyptus queried why we didn't see the hair claw with the scrunchie and the prayer card at the end of 3x09. I had my suspicions about this, but it wasn't until recently that I think I've come to a clearer understanding about the separate presentations of these items in season 3 and what the timing of their appearances means, particularly for Carmy's relationship with Nat and with his birth family.

Natalie is haunting Carmy

Or rather, the Berzatto family is haunting Carmy. Let me explain.

We see the hair claw in Carmy's apartment in the first episode of season 3. I think its early appearance in the season is for two reasons:

The first is that the hair claw is a legerdemain, meant to look like a token of Claire's given its appearance in 3x01 in between scenes of Claire at home and at work. I think the purpose of this sleight of hand was to misdirect the viewer's attention to Carmy's love life from the outset and misleadingly establish it as the primary source of his mental anguish this season. As I've noted here, I don't think Claire is the main source of Carmy's anguish.

In fact, it seems pretty clear that Claire herself is a legerdemain: a stand in for Carmy's relationship with The Berzattos. This has been discussed in various places on Tumblr including in this fantastic post by @brokenwinebox contrasting shots of Donna/Donna with Carmy and Claire/Claire with Carmy, as well as in this *chefs kiss* comparison between shots of Claire and the Berzattos done by @currymanganese. I also had a theory where I posited that Claire is a reverse-engineered haunt, maintained by Carmy to keep his brother Mikey in his life, after the latter's death.

We also have this LA Times article in which The Bear's Andrew Wehde (cinematographer) and Joanna Calo (showrunner, executive producer, writer and director) say the following:

All of the above is to say that Claire and her relationship with Carmy seriously appear to be sleights of hand masking the truth of the main source of Carmy's anguish: his birth family.

Which brings us back to the hair claw, which, as I've said here, I believe belongs to Carmy's sister, Natalie Berzatto.

If we are working on the basis that the hair claw belongs to Carmy's sister and not Claire, lets get to the second reason that we see it in 3x01 and not with the scrunchie and prayer card in 3x09.

First, we need to note that Carmy's relationship with the owner of this hair claw - Natalie - is inextricably linked to his relationship with his birth family, the Berzattos. Natalie is his biological sister from that family and she's also the ONLY Berzatto family member that Carmy is seen having any contact with in the present after returning to Chicago to run The Beef in season 1.

Indeed, according to Jamie Lee Curtis, Carmy hasn't seen his mother Donna, the only other surviving member of his immediate family (that we've met on the show) since the events of 2x06 Fishes, approximately 5-6 years ago (given the events in season 3 appear to take place in 2023).

By the time we get to 3x01, Carmy's relationship with the Berzattos (including with Natalie) has had a lifetime of impact on him due, among other things, to an intergenerational history of abuse and trauma. Indeed, right before we see the hair claw in 3x01, we see Carmy staring down at the scar on his hand - a scar that @thoughtfulchaos773 has concluded Carmy got on the day he learned about his brother Mikey's suicide - another visual reminder of Carmy's family and the shadow it casts over his life.

Given the above, I believe the hair claw in the season premiere indicates to us that Carmy is entering season 3 with this familial history playing heavily on his mind. Season 3 also starts on the back of the walk-in fiasco in 2x10 which this reblog thread between myself, @bbythurs and @ambeauty discusses as a representation for Carmy of a broken promise to Sydney and the rest of The Bear crew. In that broken promise, we see an inadvertent repetition by Carmy of the behaviours in his birth family that he hates the most (recall his Al-Anon monologue in 2x03 Sundae where Carmy says his family would fuck up things that gave him amusement and enjoyment, but specifically that they would make promises they weren't able to keep). In this way, season 3 starts with Carmy doing everything he can to undo that broken promise, to undo repeating hurtful familial patterns.

In contrast to the above, Carmy's relationships with Sydney and Richie, while not great at the start of season 3, have not yet reached a boiling point and perhaps are not as front of mind for Carmy. By the time we see the scrunchie and the prayer card at the end of 3x09 however, Syd and Richie's relationships with Carmy have massively deteriorated and are hanging on by a thread. They are definitely occupying his mind by then, explaining why the mementos associated with these two characters are revealed to us at that point in the show.

As always, these are my thoughts and an attempt to apply some logic to a season that, due to its lack of actual dialogue, relies on so much interpretation to muddle our way through. I'm not saying this as a total criticism, because my neurodivergent self loves analysing things like this, but I can see why this season put so many off lol. Its been 1.5 months since I did my first run through of this season and I'm still finding new things I missed during my first watch.

Tagging folks below who might be interested but as always, keen to hear from anyone that wants to chat about this stuff:

@currymanganese @vacationship @moodyeucalyptus @thoughtfulchaos773 @brokenwinebox @espumado @tvfantic87 @ambeauty @bbythurs @mitocamdria @turbulenthandholding @anxietycroissant @angelica4equity @devisrina @kdbleu

My next meta will get into just how The Berzatto family is haunting Carmy in season 3...when I finally get around to finishing it. I'm saying it out loud here to force myself to get it done lol. Stay tuned!

[freedelusionshere]

Maybe this is news for some people, but Claire surrounds herself with people who are blatant fuck ups so she can sit back and watch it all play out in front of her and be removed from it. This is what her story about the broken arm and not wanting to fix it, just understand it, means.

Unlike Jess and others who say in contrast they surround themselves with people better than them (which is what Syd is to Carmy, btw, he likes that they push each other), Claire intentionally does not.

Claire is a person who likes mess around her (while she is removed from consequences) because she sets her girlfriends up with Ted Fak who is a gross misogynist. That is not girl-boss behavior that is being a bad friend.

The story she tells about the girl in the ER with all the cuts (who she supplies the wrong medication to) who laughs because “it doesn’t hurt yet” is foreshadowing about her and Carmy. She knows Carmy is a big mess and eventually he will have to deal with it, but she also knows he doesn’t realize it or is avoiding it, and is enjoying her playtime and relief from her routine while she tries to figure him out.

She cries when she hears him talk about himself in the walk-in because her playtime ended sooner than she thought it would. She’s out the same night with her same circle of friends badmouthing him.

That is how Claire is written. Not a victim of Carmy (she pursued him and knew about his past) or an underwritten anything. She is a dramatic foil about his past and not a main or even close. She is Donna with a soft voice.

[ciaomarie]

GIF by @thoughtfulchaos773

I woke up this morning thinking about The Bear as one does. The Donna and Claire parallels were on my mind. In S2E10, Carmy was pushing them both to the back of his mind/bottom of his priorities. It was Nat who wanted her there. That night, Donna learned that Natalie was pregnant. That bit of info was her final nudge not to enter the restaurant. Claire came inside, but it was Richie and Neil who were excited to see her. Later, she learned that Carmy (who was spiraling in a vat of self-loathing) didn't think he could be in a relationship, and it was a distraction. That was her nudge to leave and cut him off. Then, in S3E8, about 30ish years after his birth, there's Donna talking crap about Carmy's arrival like he got himself stuck and how terrible her relationship was with his father. In S3E7or9(?) we have Tiff relaying the ish, Claire is saying about Carmy, who is at fault, but she's miscontruing his meaning and has no empathy for him. So, the woman who saw his mother drive into their home and said she loved him is dragging his name through their mutual friend/family group?! Idk...if Claire is endgame imma throw up. Tbh, I don't want a whole S4 episode of Donna either. Two scenes and wrap it up.

[brokenwinebox]

“Mold Is The Death Knell.”

After doing research and documenting it on Twitter, I decided to transfer it all here. We’re going to be talking about (2x02)’s script.

We (kinda?) got confirmation on the parallels between Donna and Claire in the script. There’s many metas I’ve most likely missed but here are the ones I remember:

Jamie’s instagram post on Claire/Donna by @espumado

Jamie Lee Curtis: A sydcarmy truther? by @thoughtfulchaos773

Scene lighting, blocking, & dialogue callbacks between Claire and The Berzattos by @currymanganese

There’s also my metas on Claire/Donna:

Claire: Ominous Or Naive

Glass Table & Glass Fish Tank

What Did You Get Out Of These ClairexCarmy Flashbacks Scenes?

If there’s metas I’ve missed, please feel free to reblog with the links!

Before seeing Claire again, Carmy was enjoying the orange sunset during magic hour while walking on Clark St.

Since I saw the words ‘orange sunset’, I automatically assumed that it was golden hour when this scene had occurred.

Blue hour is apart of magic hour as well. I read a bit about it in this article, “Mastering Golden Hour, Blue Hour (Magic Hours) and Twilights | Natural Light Photography.”

Magic hours are a more diffuse concept than twilights because there is no mathematical definition. In fact, both the golden hour and blue hour, also known as the magic hours, overlap with civil twilight.

I’m wondering if they tried to capture golden and blue hour at the grocery store with artificial lighting instead of natural lighting to insinuate a fakeness to their reunion/relationship.

I also happened to stumble upon another potential meaning to golden hour. A person’s golden hour is the first hour after a severe internal injury.

Granted, being cut by sharp objects like glass is an external injury. But, in the dialogue, Claire talks about how the girl was bleeding and they couldn’t figure out what the source was. Wouldn’t you be able to tell where the bleeding stemmed from if it was just external? It could mean there was internal damage as well.

Mold is the death knell which is a sounding of a bell to mark someone’s death or used to refer to the imminent destruction or failure of something.

(A bell to mark the death of Mikey and the failure of The Bear?)

There was a discussion of mold pertaining to Claire and the potential meaning of it in @moodyeucalyptus’s meta on Claire being a bad doctor with @vacationship’s reblog about how penicillin is an antibiotic coming from green and blue mold while fennel is a natural antibiotic.

All of this to say mold is the death knell, golden hour is also a term used in the medical field for trauma patients, and that girl that Claire told Carmy about was a trauma patient that was given penicillin while having an allergy to it by Claire reading her chart wrong.

There’s so many interesting details in the network draft/script! If I’m wrong about any of this, let me know of course. As always, thank you so much for reading! If I haven’t replied to your comments or reblogs lately, I was shadowbanned briefly before getting my account back so yay! If you tagged me, I didn’t see them unfortunately :(

[yannaryartside]

A REVIEW OF SYDNEY'S JOURNEY INSIDE SYDCARMY

As a person who profoundly yearns for sydcarmy, I would like to say…

Syd can love Carmy despite everything

But she cannot stay with him despite everything.

Not despite the problems in their relationship, not despite his inability to resolve his issues. And more importantly, not despite her own mental health, happiness, and dreams.

this is kind of an open letter to the writers of this show...because I have concerns of how they will rap this up, particularly for Sydney. It all got worse because of that Mattew interview.

PART 1:THE LOVE IN THE STRUGGLE

I understand what the show is doing with Carmy and Syd, showing the reality of loving someone with mental illness and (metaphorically) loving someone recovering from addiction. The struggle to do right by each other, coming from both sides, is excruciating and frustrating to watch, but it is beautiful (to a certain extent).

They are also playing into all of Carmy’s insecurities of never being good enough even when he tries his best. So what better way to heal that than showing Carmy that he was good enough for Sydney to love him despite him failing her (as a partner and friend). The love triangle thing is salt to injury until Carmy decides to stop ignoring all the ways Syd affects him. But that has to be in unison with him leaving behind all his bad coping mechanisms: the work addiction, the self-sabotage, and a toxic relationship.

I get it. But you have to show the other side of the coin. How can you love someone despite everything (despite how they hurt themselves and you) and still decide to do what’s right for you? To keep your side of the street clean, as the character in the anonymous meeting said.

Syd has been a punching bag (emotionally) for the majority of her screen time. Even her trying to discover her culinary voice in s2 was framed in the context of Carmy’s abandonment. I was pissed off after s2, but now I am baffled and angry.

Some time ago, I interacted in this fandom with someone who said Syd would be a prop for Carmen's growth; in all fairness, I think they meant a plot device. A character whose sole purpose in the narrative is to show the main character “the right way” (with a romantic relationship or not), like Gandalf or something. A character is never explored in depth and, therefore, absent of agency besides the elements of the character that favor the path of the main character.

I am not saying every element of Sydney's character has been crafted to favor Carmen. But the show has shown some intent of never giving her any agency besides sticking with these people in this broken system because she loves them all, Carmy especially.

I understand why Syd would choose to stay; she has found a place where she belongs, I just wish she didn't have to sacrifice a good opportunity to achieve her own creative vision, to have more financial security, and even her heart (now broken) in order stay at the Bear. Because that is the narrative, the show is feeding you. Do you want me to applaud her for being loyal despite letting go of all her dreams and sitting by a man who has rejected her in multiple ways just so she can prove she is the one? No, respectfully, fuck you.

If Syd is in love with Carmy despite everything, that's fine; that's just life, and you can do nothing about it. If she lets go of her chances to pursue her dreams waiting for him, that's on her.

Not to mention, this show crafted this character in a particular way. She is insecure about her talents, and despite having great people skills and exemplary leadership, she doesn't believe she can manage it all on her own, walking to the sound of her own drum and her will. I need that for her. That growth, just because it really feels like they have been building up to it. The character that never saw themselves in a leadership position but by doing it discover they are meant for it.

CALL YOUR HERO BY IT'S NAME

I also need her to have credit for everything, right there on the screen: the recognition, the opportunities, the adventure, and the self-exploration, the love.

Why are we trying to make peace with the fact that Sydcarmy may be open-ended? and (in that same context) that Syd's culinary success could also be open-ended, or just a brief plot point in this show that nominated Ayo as a "lead" in award shows?

Regardless of creative decisions, even if you want to make a show solely about closing bad chapters before opening the good ones, it could be done better. This is not a shipping or a fandom thing.

Sydney gets to be the peace (the real one), but that will never be acknowledged by the other characters and only firefly by the man she has loved for all the show's runtime? Why is it that the audience cannot explore/witness Carmy's desire for her? To see him dream of her and call her his actual peace? To pursue her and trying to be better, especially for her? Why does that only get to be a glimpse in your narrative? You already decided that was what you wanted for your main character, you could at least tell your audience that's what you want.

They spend a lot of time and energy deceiving us, but they have to put in (if not time) an equal amount of effort to show why Sydney is the right choice.

Also, why is that only the black woman, the one whose culinary journey we don't follow and explore? Particularly in her getting credit for it and feeling good about her chosen profession? Marcus got to go to Copenhagen, Ebra and Tina got culinary school, and the shows have followed them in their journey to gain confidence in this craft. We got a whole episode of Carmy's journey (and Luca's).

You have four young chefs that we follow so we can get a journey inside the paths in this industry: Luca, Carmy, Syd, and Marcus. Three of these young chef characters (the three men) had the opportunity to travel and have mentors who valued them and recognized their potential; what about Syd?

This point keeps pissing me off. When Matty Matheson decided to open his mouth to say, "Sydney doesn't have professional training," it hurt extra because I am sure some people were watching who, even if they watched the show, may doubt that he was incorrect.

Syd is the only restaurant member who actually went to culinary school. The fucking CIA. The only acknowledgment the audience has of her culinary experience is that line of dialogue of Carmy being impressed by her resume in the fucking pilot. Besides that, the only element of her journey being brought up in dialogue constantly through the seasons is Sheridan Road, her most recent and painful professional failure. It also doesn't look good that Syd is the only one not " European trained" of the young chefs and is precisely the one whose recipes and creations are never properly acknowledged or explored.

The worst part of all this is that Sydney is the only woman in the main cast whose childhood dream was cooking professionaly. Tina, Marcus, and Luca discover this passion later in life, you could even say Carmy didn't dream of fine dining before Michael cast him out of the sandwich shop. But Sydney likely grows up dreaming of this as the only daughter of a single father (who is likely a first-generation American), a girl who lost her mother quite young; therefore, she is conscious about time and how she decides to use it.

So, dear Bear writers, please let Sydney win; at this point, I am begging you. Out of dignity and craftsmanship, if I cannot ask for more. You may resolve this in s4, or whatever time you are thinking for this. Let me inside her heart, her deep motives, to find her courage, let her shine. Follow her. She will love Carmy still, and if Carmy comes from her, let her be his.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Storer told us she was a red flag

Omgggg I just realized she was ALWAYS painted as the red flag 🚩she is. Right under our noses from the get-go!!!

Syd and Sugar sensed it immediately as soon as she stepped in The Bear. Look at their expressions! ⚠️⚠️⚠️

It was literally graphically depicted since the 3 of them were in the same room!

Storer was storing 😱