if i want to really think about it, the reason i tend to love de-aging fics so much is because it’s about loving someone for who they are at their most honest and most vulnerable, it’s about putting the pieces together on why they are the way they are, and it’s about taking care of someone without the expectation of "getting something" in return. i know a lot of people are uncomfortable with de-aging tropes, which i totally respect, but to me it’s kinda a variation on the "would you still love me if i was a worm?" kind of thinking. would you still love me if i was a burden would you still love me if i had nothing to give you but my presence would you still love me etc. etc. — well-written de-aging fics also do such a good job at imagining what an innocent, less traumatised version of the character would conceivably be like, what aspects of their personality are the result of them hardening over the years and what isn’t. writing kids is hard but writing a de-aged character is even harder, and i consider it a real talent to be able to realistically portray a de-aged character. and then how the other characters react to the de-aged character, what baggage they bring to the situation, how they have to change and adapt and learn about this other version of the character. it’s just that there’s so many layers of unpacking trauma, learning or relearning kindness, for everyone involved, and to me that can’t be anything other than cathartic to the nth degree
13 notes
·
View notes
After the absolute carnage and chaos of Session 3 and 4, I desperately wanted to see a graph of everyone’s life left compared to each other, and this is the result of that. I will include close ups of each session below the cut, as well as screenshots of the full (colour-coded!!) data. Updates: Session 5, Session 6, Session 7, Session 8.
Note that I’m using the times that everyone should have based on their kills and deaths, and not what was actually shown (since I know Tango was accidentally given 1.5 hours for his boogey kill instead of just 1 hour, and Skizz hasn’t yet received his 30 minutes for killing Tango), so we’ll see if these times are rectified for Session 5, or if I will adjust my graph to show what is actually used.
Before I show the close ups, I just want to explain the colours used. I picked a base colour for each team and then used a different shade of that colour for each member of the team, to make it easier when looking at a mess of lines. TIES are red because Tango made the bowtie on the tower red (and also because of the red tie in Skizz’s skin, and also Tango’s skin is red). The Bad Boys are green because of all their crops (wheat and potatoes and carrots so far). The Nosy Neighbours are purple because of Watcher-related reasons. Mean Gills are teal because of the coral reef and the warm water colour (and also Scott’s hair). Clockers are orange because Minecraft clocks are gold, and orange is the closest colour to that. Below is a screenshot of all the colour choices I had, and I labeled each one with the player I picked for it
Now for the close ups of each session, with labelling for where each player is at at the end of each session. The grey squiggly downward line is simply the average of all the players’ times at that instant, and the green, yellow, and red horizontal lines mark out 24, 16, and 8 hours respectively. There are no markings for the number of hours, but each gridline is an additional hour, so you can count up and down from the colour-coded lines.
Session 1 close up
Session 2 close up
Session 3 close up
Session 4 close up
So as you can see... there’s less than three hours between the bottom nine people, and a much larger gap from them to the top five. And all three of Skizz’s teammates are amongst those with the most time, so I don’t think Skizz will be first out if TIES play their cards right.
Next I am going to show the data tables I used to generate the graphs! I colour coded them so you can easily see green lives vs yellow lives, and also how often some people switched between them (and you can also see the single second Scar technically turned green during Session 3 before dying, which is also the weird orange vertical line on the graph).
There’s a new row every ten minutes, and every death created two new rows, the first of which is the times a second before the death, and the second is after the death, in order to create the sudden vertical drop.
Deaths are marked with red borders around the box, and time being gained is marked with a green border. All times are in hours and only display to two decimal places, but were calculated down to the second (and the times in hours, minutes, and seconds can be seen at the very left.
Without further ado:
Session 1 data
Session 2 data
Session 3 data
Session 4 data
I find this is a super good visualiser of all the green and yellow switches during the session.
And to visualise the absolute chaos of a specific ten minute segment during Session 3... below shows how much space the chaotic ten minutes takes up in the data due to all the deaths... compared to the entire two hours before it (remembering each row is a new ten minutes or a new death... so for a single ten minute segment to take up almost as much space as two hours, really shows a lot)
Anyway, I had an absolute blast putting all this data together and I’ve spent so much time since the weekend just staring at all the pretty graphs and data. I hope this helps other people keep track of all the death and carnage and times and so on, like it helped me.
42 notes
·
View notes
"happy birthday to me..."
sirius drew a cake on the cold floor of azkaban's dusty, old cells. everything was cold, so cold, and with a dry chuckle, sirius realized it resembled him; lonely. he looked up to the sky, its moon so full, so beautiful; sirius had never had the time to appreciate the moon's beauty, because his eyes weren't for her, but for the boy tied to her.
"happy birthday to me..."
how could one know everything at eighteen, so bright and full of live and willing to fight for what was right, and nothing at twenty-two? alone, all alone. his recklessness was going to kill him, one day. and his immeasurable loyalty to those he loved. one day, he'd try to save them; remus, hari. but not himself. they came first, they always would.
"happy birthday, sirius..."
he had broken his promise to james and lily. james, his name left a bitter taste on his tongue, a man he had loved beyond what he had felt for anyone else, the man he loved more than as a brother. and lily, bittersweet, fierceness drained out of her in the last minutes.
and he had broken his promise to hari, too. to the little bundle of joy he had gotten to hold in his arms, so tiny, so fragile, so utterly beautiful. and that morning, sirius had whispered in a small ear, his godson's: "whatever happens, i will take care of you." what a liar.
he thought of remus, too. his moon, his lover. they called a lunatic, the man who fell in love with the moon.
"happy birthday to me..."
but why would he care, when the moon rose for him, warm and cold at the same time, sirius' love for remus, his downfall, in the end. or maybe it had been his love for james. maybe it had been his recklessness, or his faith in those around him, imagining how they'd be there forever, how they'd never betray him, because he wouldn't. he'd never betray his friends.
he had the chance to, once. he'd be spared, they'd be dead. but he wouldn't give them up, he couldn't. they were his anchor in the storm, what kept the world alive. lily, so warm. hari, so young, so unaware. remus, with beautiful eyes of amber, the moon's son. james, the sky's sun.
and now, the world was silent, and the sky had fallen.
58 notes
·
View notes