#annoying ass fan base | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wizardsix · 1 year ago

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astarion stans who refuse to try befriending or even romancing anyone else are the most annoying mfs. "I only romance astarion I just can't relate to the other stories" really? you can't relate to gales deep self loathing? his deep love and loyalty for those he cares about? you can't relate to wylls kind heart and desire to always do good, even if it means he's miserable? can't relate to shadowheart blindly following a god, only to learn the truth and reinvent herself? you can't relate to lae'zel or karlach who were lied to and used as weapons their whole lives, but continue to push on even when they're scared? you can't relate to the overarching theme of authority vs autonomy???

it's not difficult, it's just people refusing to appreciate and explore the game to its fullest bc their manipulative sexy vampire is all they need(something astarion actually loathes being seen as btw). but ok, you can be boring and do whatever you want, but don't lie and say the other stories are bad, because they're not. it's simply a lack of media literacy and critical thinking. because to you, if a character doesn't tell you point blank that they're aware of their situation, it's bad writing. missing the entire point that victims don't always realize the situation they're in. keep in mind astarion and karlach are the only ones who got away from their abusers, which is why they tell you clearly and confidently about what happened to them, fully aware that it was abuse. whereas the others give only their tunnel visioned perspective and speak highly of their deity(not caring about themselves, wish to appease them for something in return).

don't get me wrong (seriously, if I see one person misunderstand me I'm going to lose it) astarion is a good character, but people who only like him need to stop acting like he's the only complex and well written one. stop crying when people with brains call you out for being weird about his ascended ending. the game isn't about him. at least try and show some respect to those who worked hard on the game. make an oc and try new things, i promise the fictional vampire won't care if you don't romance him one run. have a drink with shadowheart, dance with wyll, go to a restaurant w karlach, maybe then you'll calm down.

#this isn't astarion slander this is a critical post against his annoying ass fans #if this post offends you then youre exactly who im talking about. use your brains. i want people to appreciate larians hard work #idk man i just dont understand people who play heavily choice based games and don't try different things #again dear god do not get me wrong. play how you want. its the people that literally lie about characters that irritate me #'gales full of himself/lae'zel is mean/wyll is boring' tell me your brain is full of holes w/o telling me #also. shocking. but youre allowed to dislike or be neutral on characters but at least try to see their story and give a Valid reason why #no 'gale was toxic to mystra' doesn't count bc thats a blatant lie. and him forcefully triggering romance stuff is a bug. try again #the thing is too i just know this chaos is caused by dragon age stans that migrated to baldur's gate bc the next game is gonna fucking tank #cant keep their stupidity in the da fanbase it seems #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #six speaks #also im not saying every stories writing is perfect bc not even astarions is perfect. i have criticism for all of them #but at their core they succeed in delivering the themes mentioned above

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carcarrot · 3 months ago

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ok sitting down for a moment at disneyland. elaborating on the post-beat concert shenanigans in the tags

#for those of you invested in my silly misadventures #ok so .#there was the meet n greet earlier which as i said was short but very nice and i was squimshed against ade for the photo #AFTER THE SHOW . go around the concert venue to the area by the stage door #but unlike the beacon theatre we were a long ways away from the stage door it was the huge parking lot and we were fenced off #and based off of the spars concert from last year at the beacon where the guys just left after we waited for almost an hour #i didnt really expect the beat guys would come over or anything but i was willing to wait a while #and wait a while we did and then danny carey came out and eventually came over to us and was really sweet and signed stuff #he wasnt taking any photos but was very nice just like the epitome of fun drummer guy #waited a while more. doubting still that the other guys would come over #next was adrian! and being the absolute sweetie he is he did come over and everything abt him is true #hes just the most wondrous sweet guy ever. he was also radiating comforting dad energy bc that annoying prog fan was there again #and ade was kind of like nicely protective where i was w my friend #ade also liked my inner revolution shirt and remembered me from the meet n greet :)#waited a while more and then eventually steve vai came out and well im sorry what can i say . i was 😵‍💫#it didnt help that when he signed my poster (as the other guys had before him) that like. his hand was resting on my hand god anyway #im sorry. old men musicians are my number one weakness as anyone whos been following me knows #oh i had gotten a blurry photo w ade and then got a flash photo w steve. its horrifying <3 #we waited like an hour more for tony who was on a long ass phone call #but very nicely he came over too and somehow the photo w him turned out nicest. hes such a sweet polite guy #he also sounds like ron mael kinda lol #and thats my adventure!#and now ive spent an obscene amount to see em again. god

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peachdoxie · 2 years ago

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Honestly I probably wouldn't find Taylor Swift nearly so annoying if it weren't for a large contingent of her fans thinking she's hotter shit than what Satan last shat.

#anecdotes by peachdoxie #like sorry! but i don't buy the 'authenticity' that so many of her fans claim she embodies #she's an artist with a good marketing team who found a certain kind of song to sing as her brand #then there's the other issues of 1) the amatonormativity of her music #and 2) the whole private jet thing #also no taylor swift is not a queer icon fuck off with that bullshit #actually that's probably the most annoying part #is people reading their own ideas onto taylor swift's brand and content #when that reading is pulled out of their ass based on asinine wishful thinking #its the same issue i have with people who do it to movies and tv shows and books as well #learn some basic media literacy for fucks sake

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romance-incubomp3 · 4 months ago

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hozier music is another unfortunate victim of my “I think this art is genuinely good and worthy of recognition and I like it but it is annoyingly popular on tumblr so I will subconsciously be pushed away from interacting with it much”

#I do like his stuff when I hear it but #I also have a lot of really good folk artists who no one has heard of #feel bad for him having an annoying ass fan base he deserves better #and mitski. (who I do actually listen to. she made it past my tumblr popular repulsion somehow)#my favorite hozier songs I’ve heard though are cherry wine and in a week:)

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thewilliamambervein · 4 months ago

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I've got a whole list of companies I never wanna touch for different reasons, but I swear the annoying and sometimes violent fanboys of brands has to be the most pathetic reason I don't wanna even hear about a brand.

I mean I get it if you really like a brand you can be annoying, I recently was told that I better be paid by one because of how much I talk about it.

But I only talk about it when it is relevant or comes up. I also don't send death threats to people who like a different brand, which happened to me

#straight up I have tried a brand in question three times and it has sucked each time #I have no clue why they have such a fervent and violent fan base #rant #a streamer that I really like stopped working with the energy drink company that I have loved #and there are so many comments about this bad and annoying ass alternative hoping she will go there instead #they probably will but still

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hyp3rfixation-h3ll · 1 year ago

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sorry 4 vagueposting i'll do it again. i shouldve unfollowed when they started being super duper gatekeepy about their fave tbh

#the captain's rambles #this is NOT about the person who was an acephobe its someone else 2 clarify #like RAAAAAAAGH im so sad their art is so good but . :/#big L for the new beepo fan numero uno ....#but that aside. it is kind of a red flag when you take the jokes of “oh ermmm im ackshually the only one who writes this guy correctly”#and then scoff / turn your nose up at people who like the SAME CHARACTER but come from a different part of the fanbase #we're NEIGHBORS. and buddy? you're the annoying ass HOA member nobody likes cuz youre pretentious #let people have fun and be a little nuts about how they portray beepos. its not that deep #IM NOT GONNA LIE. THIS SHIT KINDA SUCKS SINCE IM BASED OFF OF THEIR ART. LIKE NOT EVEN JUST APPEARANCE WISE. THAT IS ME. - 💥#<- words from our resident fleetway fictive . hai fleets #HEY. - 💥#anyways rant over we're gonna go eat and shower n shit BLEHHHH

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netherdevil · 6 months ago

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so i have 9 hours so far on ZZZ

i downloaded it JUST TODAY. AT 1PM. thats not normal

#this is exactly like how when i first played ngs i immediately got 8 hours on it on the first day #the fixation hits hard #thought 'oh ive been wanting to play this and i also need something to cope rn'#oh boy did i cope #saw my husband for ONE FRAME and went INSANE #I LOVE YOU ANTON. MY HUSBAND. MY GIRLFRIEND. OH HOW I LOVE YOU #I NEED HIM SO BAD (literally i need to pull him in game) GIVE ME HIM NEEEOOOWWWW BEFORE I GET ANGRY!!?? GRRRR!!!!did not #mean to put those question marks #marks of inquiry #bruh this game has sexy ass gameplay. I SAW IT BEFORE BUT IT FEELS SO DIFFERENT WHEN YOU'RE ACTUALLY PLAYING IT #IT'S SO HEAVY AND UGHHDH IT REMINDS ME OF DMC A LITTLE #specifically dmc5 #example: the Epic shots when you kill all the ethereals in an area #another example: anby's skill. that is literally a vergil combo #another thing that reminds me of ngs is how stuffy the game mechanics are #idk what i'm doing 90% of the time. i get an item. oh cool! where the hell did i get this from.#reading the descriptions of each item doesn't help because none of it sinks in 😭 it's like trying to read from 15 feet away #it's kinda like base game?? in the way that it feels like Everything has already happened and it's shoved in your face and you just kinda #have to figure out what to do #only this time i can't emote and pole dance with other people #oh to see anton pole dancing. /j #/hj :^3 #....../srs :'^3 (i cry a tear)#i've been cooking up an s/i since the game was announced but i still have close to nothing. NO IDEA WHAT THEY WOULD LOOK LIKE.#huge ass weapon obviously. low hollow aptitude but they're such a good fighter that it didn't matter #i know my 'haha i've known this game since' shit is annoying but LET ME HAVE THIS!! I WILL FOREVER FLEX BEING A FAN FROM THE START HEHEHEH #anyway. anton. my pookiebear. my shnookums. Fucck yoyAAAAAAA I LOVE

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the-force-awakens · 11 months ago

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every time a white washed poe gifset crosses my dash an angel loses its wings

#nym speaks #they all suck SO much but my least favorite kind is when an effort was at least made to keep his skin looking ALMOST correct so it's not #immediately apparent probably if u're running based solely on memory which I imagine a lot of people r #however when u gif him nonstop it's immediately clear that his skin is /not/ the tone it should be #tho I've also seen a set that whitewashed him during the Jakku night scenes #do u have. any idea how much EFFORT it would take to manage that #that's not purely by accident okay I get scenes like the tarmac scene are vvvv difficult to nail #with adjusting the lighting without turning him as white as my vampire ass #(another reason I don't gif that scene terribly often it never comes out looking the way it should)#but jakku???? the night shots???? girl there is NO way you can accidentally do that there #you would have to very deliberately take the steps to get him very pale in those shots #it annoys the absolute hell out of me I can't even begin to imagine what it feels like for fans of color #do!!! better!!!!! jfc #I do my best not to reblog any gifsets like that but with the wonkiness of color settings on my phone I /might/ miss some #which for that I apologize

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chicknparm · 7 months ago

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People who watch wrestling exclusively for yaoi reasons make me insane

#no he didn’t squeeze that guys thigh bc he’s in love with him #it’s how you signal that you’re okay after taking a big move #sorry to be a gatekeeper but sometimes people are just wrong! they are talking out their ass and it annoys me!#and because this is the fucking fujoshi website where most of the user base thinks gay fan fiction is praxis #it’s next to impossible to find anybody seriously talking about wrestling on here in a way that isn’t just ogling the Hot Boys #also. @ every wrestling blog. for $5 name a woman. please. I’m begging #unfortunately they’re the only ones posting about wrestling and they make decent gifs so I’m stuck here

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littencloud9 · 10 months ago

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#i am SO fucking sick of people who love to shove it down my throat that they dislike taylor swift just bc i said im a swiftie #LIKE OKAY. DO YOU WANT A MEDAL #im saying i like her music im not saying shes a god or a saint that i worship and follow 24/7 #‘her music is mid’ ‘her lyrics are like a teenage girl’ bitch youve only listened to fucking shake it off and blank space #and even if her music didnt speak to you i dont CARE lmao #why do people insist on making others feel bad for something they like just bc it’s popular #sorry i listen to the blonde white woman. how does that affect you in any way #the most annoying part is that they bring her up ALL the time. commenting on her fan pages or on posts that dont even mention her #cause how are you this obsessed and you claim to hate her #AND YEAH. THE FAN BASE SUCKS ASS SOMETIMES. some swifties are creepy and invasive and have no boundaries i get it #but that’s literally every celebrity fandom lmfao #you can shit on her for her terrible environmental practices. or her business moves that drain money from her fans #cause those are objective and frankly true #but why is she the only celebrity that gets shit on for it. why dont you carry that same energy to other artists #it’s genuinely so nitpicky and annoying #football fans get to be crazy about their sport but swifties getting emotional over her concerts are immature and brainless #be so fr. im so tired #tldr if you dont like ts u dont have to force it in a fan’s face. youre not being more mature or smarter #youre just an asshole #vent #i guess #sorry. this is such a trivial issue but alas

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reaumantic · 1 year ago

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n*il g*iman fans are the most annoying ppl on the planet he could kick a dog in the street and here comes seven thousand of his reply guys like “omg cant you let him live he actually has a long history of supporting animal rights”

#i cant even say like ‘hes not gonna see this why do you care’ bc its the one celeb that actually might see it #hence the most annoying fan base always trying to kiss his ass

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thornshadowwolf · 1 year ago

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DAN AND PHIL RETURN????????

#idk what I'm gonna do abt this /srs #like. I thought their videos were fun but that was 5 years ago so who knows about if I still will #and y'know obviously toxic community and annoying fans.#whatever I'll watch some and make a decision based on that I guess.#idc if they're cringe #well I mean. idc if it's cringe to watch them.#but Dan very much was leaning into that 'I'm a weirdo normal people scare me' thing that people who are only one degree removed from #normality do. so if he's leaned into that any more I don't think I'll be able to stand his 'I'm not a normie' normie ass. but I also know #he's been doing a lot of self-reflection and healing and whatever so maybe he'll be better now.#like he was so desperate to distance himself from who he used to be that he needed to make fun of everything he could have been perceived as #and make himself feel like he's better than people like that. everything from being 14 to being alternative to being a furry he needed to #make fun of all that cringe to prove that he wasn't that. y'know? he desperately wanted to be normal while still capitalizing on the 'I'm #different' thing. like his merch/clothing brand was all minimalist quirky-dark aesthetic for example. stuff you could 100% find in a big #chain store but seems just different enough for people who want to fit in but also look like they're cool and edgy and have unique opinions #like. he's the *woman in a pink tailored pantsuit* 'she's so butch!' of weird and alternative.#last I checked at least. like I said; I think he's been doing a lot of personal growth so maybe he's gotten more ok with actual weirdness.#man I didn't mean to rant in the tags here O_o sorry lol.#ThornShadow.said #(also for the record Phil is a little cringey but it's genuine so it's ok. as opposed to Dan trying to make everything 8 levels of ironic)

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shararan · 1 year ago

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What's with this sudden uptick in "any fanfic depiction is a deliberate slight against the source material that should be condemned" I'm seeing across fandom in general and how the fuck do I opt out of seeing it

#and im not talking about analyzing whats canon and fanon #but threads across multiple websites of people raving about other fan depictions #as if its illegal or something to at all deviate from the source material #which is also giving me a lot of ''my interpretation is the only correct one''#cause at some point nagging about things being OOC just rings hollow #especially in fanfic scenarios that just do not appear in the source material #''they would not act like that'' why wouldnt they?#and even if they didnt who cares???? go read something else jfc #maybe itd be less annoying if people knew how to stop making serious assumptions about other peoples values #based solely on the fanfic they wrote lmao #its never just ''i dont like this'' its always about finding reasons to make ones dislike seem more serious than it needs to be #smh #canon source material isnt some sort of holy script to be defiled by reinterpretations yall know that right #and again im all for separating whats canon and fanon i think thats a fantastic thing to do #i just think some people get too far up their own asses like elementary school children #about whos ''right'' or not when the game isnt about winning but about basically plotting and play pretend #sharan talks

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astonmartinii · 9 months ago

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ice, ice baby (literally) | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x raikkonen!reader

the ice man may have never spoken, but his daughter never shuts the fuck up

based on the request from @blue-skyandstars

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, sebastianvettel and 783,409 others

yourusername: taking names and kicking asses (and getting all assignments in on time with an appropriate amount of ass licking)

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user1: i love how she is so clearly kimi's daughter

user2: the only two blondes that don't freak me out

user3: insert that paris hilton clip "can i have two more of these little blonde bitches?"

maxverstappen1: what's an appropriate amount of ass licking and can i demonstrate on you?

maxverstappen1: wait! who said that?

yourusername: in your dreams car boy

maxverstappen1: trust me i see you in my dreams all the time

yourusername: so that's why you're always in the shower when i call you in the morning....

user4: i'm new here, are they together?

yourusername: wouldn't you like to know weather boy

maxverstappen1: she's actually my sleep paralysis demon, sorry to say

user5: they're so unserious

kimiraikkonen: keep those studies up i'm paying the bills

yourusername: i promise to use my status as a nepo baby for good papa 🫡

kimiraikkonen: proud of you.

user6: we love a self aware girly

user7: the raikkonen household really is the best balance, a guy who acts like talking causes him physical pain and a girl who couldn't shut the fuck up if she tried

yourusername: no way i'd rather it be

charles_leclerc: how many versions of that shirt do you have?

yourusername: enough...

charles_leclerc: and i'm the one who is a threat to national security when i go shopping

yourusername: that trouser collection should get you on some sort of list

user8: all these f1 drivers in her likes and comments and she's not cuffed... why is she fumbling so bad

yourusername: am I fumbling or are THEY?

user9: expose the dms please

yourusername: that would not be pg13 soz!

maxverstappen1

liked by kimiraikkonen, landonorris and 1,094,556 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: oh look who decided to come back

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user10: max is so annoyed that she decided to go to school in the us that he makes all american fans lives hell by winning all the races

user11: so true of him

landonorris: matching books? you're such a simp

maxverstappen1: is a man forbidden to be in a book club? who backwards of you lando

yourusername: just because you can't read, don't take it out on us

landonorris: i can read!

yourusername: name the last book you read

yourusername: and that doesn't include searching your name on twitter

landonorris: can you go back already, you're so mean

yourusername: don't come for our two man book club if you can't handle the smoke

maxverstappen1: what she said

user12: i love how spring break starts and y/n doesn't even go to see her dad, straight to max

maxverstappen1: kimi is coming! i am NOT a bad friend who deprives y/n of her dad

user12: you're also scared of kimi

maxverstappen1: i'm also scared of kimi

danielricciardo: you're in my building and i don't get any baked goods... i see how it is

yourusername: as if max is allowed to eat them anyway they're for dad

danielricciardo: i promptly take back anything i've ever said

user13: max has got to be down bad to have that much baking equipment in his house when it's canon he can barely cook eggs

yourusername: if he wanted to he would

user14: is this confirmation?

yourusername: i hope those are paper straws you're grasping at

maxverstappen1: why wouldn't i make sure i have the equipment to get my worker bee to make me sweet treats (don't read that rupert)

user15: i'm on to you two ... there's something shady going on here

sebastianvettel

liked by kimiraikkonen, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,409 others

tagged: yourusername

sebastianvettel: she's too old, i miss when she was a nice and polite child

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user19: annual god father seb appearance

user20: y/n please work your magic to get him to a race this weekend

yourusername: i'm working on it! watch out for suzuka

user21: the people's princess truly

yourusername: rude! i am a very polite young woman 🙁

sebastianvettel: yes you are, but also when you were ten you didn't bother me with your love life

sebastianvettel: and you weren't so fussy with food

yourusername: I AM NOT FUSSY I JUST HAVE AN ACQUIRED TASTE

sebastianvettel: you asked me to uninvite lewis to our dinner plans because you "hate that quinoa shit, i'm hungry enough to kill a horse with my bare hands"

yourusername: and i'd say it again!

lewishamilton: first of all: rude. second of all: i knew there was a reason you and max get on so well - BLAND

maxverstappen1: just because my food doesn't turn my shit green or couldn't accidentally be sold in the rabbit section of the pet store doesn't make me BLAND

yourusername: i don't trust a man who makes non-alocholic tequila THE FACT IT GETS YOU DRUNK IS THE BEST PART OF THE TEQUILA ONLY WEIRDOS DRINK TEQUILA FOR THE TASTE

lewishamilton: gasp! you said you liked it!

yourusername: i try to be supportive okay :(

user22: well that was something

user23: max always coming to the rescue ... makes you think

charles_leclerc: i am sensing some blatant favouritism here

mickschumacher: i never get invited on baking weekends :(

yourusername: snooze you lose ladies

sebastianvettel: this is exactly what i mean y/n

yourusername: my bad! i'm sorry my god father loves me more than you :p get well soon

sebastianvettel: that's not-

charles_leclerc: consider yourself in beef

yourusername: it's on babe

user24: gosh i'm so confused WHO THE FUCK DO I WANT TO GET WITH HER

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, kimiraikkonen and 809,445 others

yourusername: boy, oh, boy am i ready to finish this semester

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user26: i see tulips i do deduce that they are from max verstappen 🤓👆

user27: i hate you invasive leeches (i believe this and it is now my personal headcanon)

maxverstappen1: SEAT BELT PLEASE

yourusername: i swear i did 😫

maxverstappen1: you need to protect the precious goods

landonorris: you never tell me that 🙁

maxverstappen1: you're not precious goods, hope this helps x

landonorris: i see how it is

yourusername: don't hate the player, hate the game lando

user28: they've either got the single most flirtatious friendship ever to exist or they're together

user29: if they are just friends and those flowers are from her actual gf - i am not being dramatic but i would take a long walk off a short plank

user30: i feel like they'd be the ultimate cockblocks for each other 😭

kimiraikkonen: proud of you bub

yourusername: i am losing hair from academic stress i hope you're happy papa

kimiraikkonen: i am 👍🏻

yourusername: i am losing hair - LOSING HAIR THIS IS A BIG DEAL YOU PAY FOR MY APPOINTMENTS

kimiraikkonen: you need a college education so you're not wasting all of my money - i also pay your sorority dues so be nice to me

yourusername: i'm tired let me be the low effort nepo baby i am meant to be

user31: can kimi raikkonen pay for my hair appointments too?

jensonbutton: is that MY CAR?

yourusername: you put me on the insurance?

jensonbutton: yeah for when your car was in the shop - i thought shelby was still in my garage?

yourusername: not to victim blame but having so many cars you don't notice one is gone, that's on you

jensonbutton: @KIMIRAIKKONEN YOUR KID STOLE MY CAR

yourusername: britt gave me the keys !!!!!!

kimiraikkonen: you got duped by a 21 year old, that's not my fault

user32: kimi when y/n jokes about dropping out 🤨 kimi when y/n steals one of jenson's cars 🥹

maxverstappen1

liked by kimiraikkonen, landonorris and 2,305,689 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: ice, ice baby (except you're smoking hot)

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user35: WHOOP WHOOP LET'S FUCKING GO

user36: max already having the approval of kimi, that's my king

maxverstappen1: make no mistake i went to the raikkonen household with many offerings before i asked for his permission

user37: and if he had said no?

maxverstappen1: i would've asked y/n regardless 🫡

kimiraikkonen: 🤨

maxverstappen1: uh? i'm digging my own grave but i love your daughter so that's all the matters right? RIGHT?

kimiraikkonen: 🙄

maxverstappen1: WOULD IT KILL YOU TO USE THE KEYBOARD I'M HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN HERE

user38: the way max got given approval on live tv with more words than we've heard from kimi at any point in his career and he's still a shaking mess

user39: anxious girl representation

yourusername: you melted this icicle

maxverstappen1: eh i think you've always been a softy

charles_leclerc: like softserve ice cream? shop @lec now!

maxverstappen1: do you fucking mind?

yourusername: really? on the post of my boyfriend professing his love?

charles_leclerc: god forbid a guy chases the bag (also he called you smoking hot, that's hardly a profession of love)

maxverstappen1: you little rat

yourusername: lifetime supply of lec and a flavour named after us and consider yourself forgiven

charles_leclerc: i don't need your approval that much

yourusername: @kimiraikkonen @sebastianvettel you seeing this shit?

charles_leclerc: fine... weaponising your dad and god father is a low blow

yourusername: also! i love you baby - thank you for putting up with my constant yapping xx

maxverstappen1: i love you even more, i can't wait for you to finish college so i never have to share you ever again

kimiraikkonen: 🤨

maxverstappen1: AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY

yourusername: they love you really maxy don't worry

yourusername

liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and 1.945,440 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i'm so talented, i brought three more championships to the family without even getting into the car

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user40: okay idk why yall were shipping anyone else, i've seen one picture of them being cute and am sold

user41: i'm so convinced this happened cause max saw people were convinced she was with other people on the grid and he had to mark his territory

maxverstappen1: yes i was jealous but can you blame me? prettiest girl in the world actually wanted me back. i will not fumble this

user42: i need my man to be this down bad for me

kimiraikkonen: cute.

yourusername: thank you papa xxx

maxverstappen1: THANK YOU KIMI, LOVE YOU KIMI

yourusername: i think he gets it babe...

maxverstappen1: first time i've got a non-emoji answer, i will savour it

user43: oh my i love them your honour

sebastianvettel: happy for you guys, see you guys soon

yourusername: love you seb!

maxverstappen1: thanks for the vote of confidence seb

sebastianvettel: you may be a literal nightmare child, but you're our nightmare child now

kimiraikkonen: what he said

maxverstappen1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (i am ignoring that you called me a nightmare child, i was 17 give me a break)

yourusername: you guys he's crying hahahahahah

maxverstappen1: i just love you guys (y/n more)

yourusername: i love you too xx

user44: so liked now we've got the relationship reveal... when do we get both y/n and kimi in the red bull garage

user45: lets up the stakes and get max, kimi and seb in the 24 hours of le mans

yourusername: oh now you've started it - he's already on the phone to adrian

maxverstappen1: am i the first nepotism boyfriend?

kimiraikkonen: you might be the favourite of the in-laws if you get me a le mans win

maxverstappen1: y/n is an only child? i'm the only in law?

kimiraikkonen: yes?

maxverstappen1: I'M ON THE PHONE TO ADRIAN

yourusername: did i just lose my boyf to my dad?

fin.

note: babe the writer's block is back. but i'm fighting it. hope yall enjoyed this!

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen social media au

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sleepyjuice · 6 months ago

Text

this is where i want to be - jj maybank

summary: morning sex with jj. based loosely on heavenly by cigarettes after sex.

wc: 1214

warnings: literally just shameless smut 18+!!!, slight consensual somnophilia, choking, creampie, cockwarming

a/n: was blessed to dream about this last night. hope y’all enjoy<3

There were very few things better than the feeling of waking up next to jj.

His body pressed against your back, his arm draped over your waist, soft and somehow not annoying snores leaving his lips.

You stuck together like glue when you slept. If one of you moved or rolled over in the middle of the night, the other would adjust accordingly.

This often led to one or both of you overheating, which is why you slept with a box fan on high all night. You had it all figured out.

The soft glow of the sun shining through the semi sheer curtain is what brought you out of your slumber this morning. Well, that, and your boyfriend’s morning wood poking eagerly against your ass.

You could tell jj was still sleeping, because if he were even partially awake, he would be grinding against you, but he was still.

You giggled quietly to yourself, the feeling of him making you giddy inside. As long as you’ve been together, he still made you feel so excited, both mentally and physically.

With your bottom half only covered in panties and jj only wearing boxers, you could feel him much better than you would if you had worn real pajamas, which made your stomach tingle and your body feel warm.

You slowly pushed your ass back against his dick, humming softly at the feeling as you moved your hips upward so he was rubbing against your now leaking pussy.

That was all it took before you heard a deep groan, followed by a sigh of content from behind you. jj was awake now.

You continued your movements, spurring jj to slide his hand to your hip, gripping firmly as he pulled you closer to him.

“Whatcha doin’, baby?” He rasped, sleep coating his voice.

You smiled, feeling chills run down your spine at the sound of his morning voice. You could also feel a growing wetness between the two fabrics that restricted the both of you, your own arousal and jj’s precum leaking readily.

“Nothing… just laying here with you.” You teased, jj now rutting himself against you slowly.

“Yeah? If you just wanna lay here, I can stop.” He responded with a cocked brow, causing you to turn your head to meet his gaze.

He was smiling lazily, the soft blue hue of his eyes extra bright as the sun illuminated his face. His hair was a mess, cheeks slightly flushed. He was so beautiful.

“You won’t stop.” You fired back, unable to hold in a soft whimper from leaving your throat as the tip of his dick brushed right over your clit.

“Oh, I won’t?” He laughed, knowing damn well he was all talk. No chance he was stopping unless you asked him to.

“You won’t. Know why?” You questioned, turning away from him and quickly bringing your hand down to your panties, moving them to the side so that your leaking pussy was now free. You felt his boxer clad cock press against you, soaking the fabric even more.

In a swift motion, you reached behind you to pull the front of his boxers down, freeing his cock so it was now pressed directly against your wet folds, properly coating him now.

He folded completely at that, groaning loudly at the feeling, and you could feel more precum leak from his swollen tip, dripping against you, both of your arousals making a mess of the sheets below you.

“You’re right,” he breathed, grabbing a hold of his cock, gliding it up and down through your folds, properly lubricating himself before he lined himself up with your entrance. “Not gonna stop. Gonna fuck you real good.” He murmured, peppering wet kisses along the back of your neck and down your bare shoulder.

You nodded eagerly, whining as you felt him push himself inside of you, moving slowly as your walls fluttered around him, adjusting to the sudden fullness.

He exhaled sharply, fighting the urge to completely pound into you, but he took his time, allowing you to adjust and take him fully.

He stilled his movements once he bottomed out, his balls pressed against your skin, making you moan loudly and arch your back, urging him to begin moving.

“Please, move, please.” You begged shamelessly, leading him to start thrusting, the slick sounds of your arousal coating his cock mixed with his breathy moans were nothing short of euphoric.

His fingers gripped firmly onto your hips, keeping both of you in place as he fucked into you perfectly. He moved effortlessly, only slightly slower than he would be if you were both fully awake, but perfect nonetheless.

“So good, baby, you’re so, so good.” He breathed, brows furrowed in concentration, sweat beading onto his forehead just under his messy blonde locks.

You were panting, one hand gripping onto the sheets while the other was behind you, holding on loosely to jj’s upper thigh as if you were keeping him inside of you.

“I need— oh, fuck, jay, I’m close.” You spoke breathlessly, your nails digging into jj’s thigh as you felt your body tighten, your mouth parted as he continued to hit just the right spot deep inside of you.

“I know, baby, fuck, I got you.” He grunted, using his free hand to reach around you, wrapping his fingers around your throat, applying just enough pressure to make you dizzy in just the most perfect way, your eyes squeezing shut as you felt yourself clench tightly around his cock, your orgasm hitting you almost immediately.

You whimpered breathily as you came, your grip on him loosening as your body fizzled with pure pleasure, toes curling as jj continued thrusting into you through your high.

“That’s it, that’s good, baby.” He praised, pressing his lips against your shoulder blade as he felt his balls tighten, slowing his pace ever so slightly before stilling completely and releasing inside of you.

His hand was still wrapped around your neck, but his hold was far less firm, as if it was now just there to keep himself steady as he filled you up with hot spurts of his cum, beginning to move again as he worked through his orgasm, the sounds of him fucking his cum deeper into you mixed with both of your grunts and whimpers of pleasure were loud and erotic and you wished you could hear this sound forever.

“Fuck, jj,” you whispered breathlessly as his movements stopped once again, yet his cock remained deep inside of you, the mixture of both of your releases leaking out around his cock and coating his balls, but he stayed inside of you.

He moved his hand from your throat to push your hair away from your face, some strands sticking to your forehead from the sweat that had built up, his other rubbing soft circles on your thigh.

“You’re so perfect.” He said simply, closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead against your skin, sighing contently.

You could feel his cock slowly begin to soften inside of you, your pussy fluttering as you became slightly less full.

“I love you, jay.” You spoke, sleep threatening to hit you again. You were on cloud nine.

“I love you, too, baby. Let’s go back to sleep, yeah?”

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #outer banks #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank prompt #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank smut

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