#angst and romance era

[yhuckloop]

do u have any stendy playlist?

Yeah fella i was really excited to share it here

hope you all like it <3 the art on the photo is from @jolyonvane !!!

[ellecdc]

The Bolter

Sirius Black x fem!reader who meet again [5.5k words]

prompt: poly!wolfstar or just Sirius x reader in which they were friends with benefits but it was obvious they loved each other even though they acted like they weren’t. Then, reader finds out shes pregnant and before telling them, they do something stupid. so reader runs away for a few months. When she comes back (only bc she had to for some reason) shes like 6-7 months pregnant

CW: secret pregnancy, angst, FWB to strangers to lovers, second chance fic, post war trauma, both Sirius and reader are meeesssssssssssyyyyy in this! I don't approve of what they've done but I understand it

“So…she’s coming back?” Sirius asked cautiously, focusing more on the condensation pooling on the coaster underneath his pint than the concerned gazes of his two best friends. 

“Well, I don’t know if she’s coming back, but she’ll be here for Harry’s birthday.” James mollified, sharing a nervous look with Remus.

“Right.” Sirius murmured around a swallow; throat tight and dry though neither the pint nor the pitcher of water in front of him looked as though they’d be able to help him with the matter. 

“Are you going to be alright?” Remus queried, and Sirius offered him the most arrogant scoff he could muster; he missed by a long shot.

“Of course I’m going to be alright.” He huffed. “Why? Can’t two friends see each other after five and a half months of silence?” 

“Sirius-” James started, but Sirius carried on. 

“She’s the only one who’s been silent, you know?” Though he knew that they did indeed both know. “I’ve tried. I’ve tried reaching out.” 

“Pads.” Remus offered consolingly, looking frustratingly like he was going to reach a hand out to Sirius as if he were some over tired toddler on the brink of a meltdown.

“Stop, no I- I’m fine, honest.” He insisted as he took a steadying breath. “I- you… talked to her, then?”

James and Remus shared another look before James allowed the segue. 

“Mostly by owl, but she has spoken on the phone with Lily a few times.” 

Sirius nodded as he considered this; considered the number of owls Sirius had sent that had gone unanswered - perhaps even unopened if the silence meant anything at all.

“She’s…okay?” 

Remus let out a sigh as he shot Sirius a tight smile that looked more like a grimace. “She’s…vague.”

“She doesn’t share a whole lot.” James agreed. “Says she’s fine, things are good. Mostly asks about…all of us, Harry.” 

“She’s still staying with that great aunt,” Remus added, “helping her with the property.” 

“She seeing anyone?” There was no point in pretending that wasn’t the most pressing matter in Sirius’ mind; of course it was. And as angry and bitter as the idea made Sirius, it would have been his own fault, his own doing. He had no one to blame but himself. 

And he’d have to live the rest of his life knowing he was the one who let you slip away - pushed you away - right into the arms of someone else. 

“Not that she’s mentioned.” Remus responded honestly; he couldn’t say for sure that you weren’t, but if you were, you clearly hadn’t said anything about it. 

“Right.” Sirius offered shortly. 

“Pads, I…we would understand if it's too hard for you to see her. If you can’t come-”

“Don’t be daft.” Sirius scoffed deploringly. “I’m not going to miss my godson’s birthday. If anyone should be missing it, it should be her; I’ve been here for the past four and a half months, she’s the one who fucked off for good.”

“Sirius-”

“I don’t understand why you had to invite her!” Sirius shouted then, startling even himself when he realised how breathless he sounded all of a sudden. 

James smiled at him sadly; Sirius wished he’d stop doing that. “We wanted all of Harry’s uncles and his aunt to be there, Sirius…it’s important, yeah? We…we almost didn’t get this chance.”

Sirius could feel a wicked migraine coming on; between talking about you, the close calls and the fact that the group of you were all alive following the war by nothing but chance, and the fact that the person Sirius was most angry with was himself, he downed the rest of his pint and flagged the server in favour of having to look at the pitiful gazes being shot at him by Remus and James.

Sirius couldn’t tell if he was eager for Harry’s second birthday or dreading it. But like it or not, Sirius was going to be seeing you again. 

It had felt like a good idea at the time.

It felt beyond foolish now, but it had felt like a good idea at the time. 

*ೃ༄.ೃ࿐

“Sirius, we just won. We just won, why do you have to leave now?” You practically begged as you followed Sirius through his flat. 

“Because if I don’t get out now, I’m going to be stuck here for eternity.” He all but spat at you as he shoved articles of clothing into his duffle rather haphazardly. You felt like grabbing the bag from him and folding them properly if the act wouldn’t leave you feeling like you were aiding and abetting his abandoning you.

“But what about James? And Remus? What about Harry? You fought this war for them, and they for you - we just got them back!”

“And they’ll be here when I’m ready to come home!” Sirius shouted; turning to look at you with wild, red rimmed eyes. 

“What about me?” You asked quietly, hating how small you sounded.

“What about you?” He asked; face falling painfully neutral. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought he was occluding. 

“I…I don’t know.” You started awkwardly, shrugging one shoulder. “I thought…maybe we’d have a chance now. To try?.”

“Y/N.” Sirius sighed as he rubbed harshly at his eyes; entire being oozed exhaustion at having to have this conversation with you. “Have I not been entirely clear about what this was between us?” 

“Right.” You agreed quickly, biting roughly on your lip and looking anywhere but at him as he let his hand fall away from his face. 

“It’s…it’s not you, doll-” but even your humourless scoff didn’t derail him “I’m not the kind to settle down and be content I- I wouldn’t be enough for you.”

“I’m not asking you for any more than what we have, Sirius-”

“Yes you are.”

“-I just want you to stay.”

“That’s too much for me.” He stated; his voice never raised though he may as well have screamed it at you. “I cannot sit here and play house, I cannot be that guy for you.”

“Cannot or will not?” You asked quietly, regretting the question the second it came out of your mouth and he looked at you with nothing but pity in his eyes. 

“Y/N…”

“I’m sorry I asked.” You let out with a chuckle as you harshly wiped tears from under your eyes. 

“It’s…it’s not forever, yeah? I just…I can’t see myself being happy here…not right now, at least; not for a while.” 

“Where will you go?” Your voice grated painfully as it came out, but you tried to keep an air of nonchalance about you. You wouldn’t look at him, but you could see his shoulders shrug helplessly. 

“I don’t know…everywhere. Anywhere.”

Anywhere was better than stuck here with you, apparently. 

“I hope it’s nice, wherever it is.” You offered, and you found that you meant it. As much as it hurt to say, you really, really meant it. Sirius had been fighting and running his entire life, and he finally won. If he wanted to celebrate his victory by taking off to be that rich, vague uncle who popped by with lavish gifts every so often, who were you to deny him? 

You loved him.

You were in love with him.

You loved him enough to let him go. 

*ೃ༄.ೃ࿐

He had sent James a postcard a few weeks later. Turns out he started in the South of France; his family had a home there that had been left untouched by the war, and Sirius was going to start by figuring out what to do with the property. 

And you? Well, you found out you were pregnant. 

You suppose it was a small mercy that Sirius wasn’t here to know; you’re sure it would have hurt more hearing him tell you he was leaving if there were two of you he couldn’t find it in him to love. You would have hated it even more if he felt trapped into staying with you just for this.

But all this meant was that you couldn’t stay, either. 

You supposed that was alright, though; the life you wanted to build here was with Sirius. You loved your friends, but you had a little one to think about now, too. 

You made up a story about a great aunt needing help tending to her property and wishing to be closer to your relatives now that you could be, now that it was safe. No one questioned it, likely because Remus had done the same following the war; moving back home to help his dad and ailing mother tend the property in whatever ways he could. 

You found yourself a little cottage, you wrote to the boys and had the occasional phone call with Lily, and you grew.

It had felt like a good idea at the time. 

But now you were almost six months pregnant and returning home for the first time since you moved to celebrate your nephew’s birthday with all of your closest friends, the love of your life whose child you were carrying, and none of them knew. 

You wondered if you should even go, but the thought of missing out on sweet Harry’s second birthday that the lot of you almost never got the chance to see made your throat constrict with tears you refused to shed since the war. 

You wondered if you should tell everyone before you arrived, but the thought of them all discussing you and your pregnancy without you being there left you feeling small and ashamed. 

You wondered if you should tell Sirius, but you looked over at the stack of unopened letters he had sent to you in the past four months - the first thin, perhaps a postcard, the second and third were thicker, the fourth was by far the thickest (like he had drafted an autobiography that he wanted you to proofread for him), the fifth was similar to the second, whilst the sixth (the last) couldn’t be more than one page - and wondered how the hell you’d even start that conversation after all this time.

Hey, remember me? Yeah, the bird who caught feelings during our friends with benefits situation that we both agreed would remain platonic amidst a battle for survival and then begged you to stay with no success? Well, whilst you’ve been off probably shagging every beautiful woman across the British Isles, I’ve been pregnant. Right, with your child. How was France, by the way? 

You swallowed around your gag reflex and groaned at your image in the mirror. You put on a pair of gingham pants with the baggiest band-tee you could find, planned on sucking in the best you could if anyone (when everyone) insisted on a hug and hoped to every deity that they all just assumed you’d been eating really well since the end of the war. 

You smoothed the fabric over your bump one last time before you left - looking at the proof that, if nothing else, you were protecting more than just yourself, and you let that be enough - before you grabbed Harry’s birthday present and called for Potter Manor, throwing a fistfull of floo powder into your fireplace and travelling by way of the flames. 

You could hear Harry squealing in delight in one of the adjacent rooms as you stepped into the floo reception room at Potter Manor; a smile taking over your face uninhibitedly at the sounds of the people you loved more than life itself, happy and celebrating.

How could you have gone so long without this? 

“Y/N!” Lily shrieked as she made for you, and you sucked in before returning her hug. “Merlin, you're glowing! Where’s your aunt's place again?” 

“Erm. Killarney.” You offered; not entirely untrue - you did have an aunt in Killarney. 

“Well,” she let out with a breath, eyes turning a touch glassy as they darted across your face, “it seems that Irish air’s been for you.” 

You smiled back at your friend before pulling her back in for another hug. “I’ve missed you, Lils.”

“Don’t let it go so long next time, yeah? We can come to you, too; I’m teaching James how to be a muggle, and Harry’s only had the odd burst of accidental magic yet. We could play the part in front of your aunt.” 

“I’d love that, Lily.” You responded earnestly. 

“Y/N!” James hollered then before you were being bodily tackled by the former quidditch chaser, a brief flash of anxiety at his hold around your stomach abating only when he relinquished his hold on you. “Where in the sodding hell have you been!?”

“Killarney.” Lily answered for you. 

“I love Killarney!” 

“Have you ever been to Killarney, Prongs?” Remus asked then, appearing in the door as he leaned against the archway. 

“No! But I love it there! I just know it!” 

“Hey Moony.” You greeted, quickly accepting his open arms and breathing him in.

“We’ve missed you.” He murmured into your hair, and you couldn’t help the traitorous hitch in your heart that he might’ve meant-

“Uncle Pafoo!” Harry squealed, suddenly standing right underneath you. 

“That’s right, Haz!” The voice that haunts your dreams called out. “Auntie is here!”

“Hullo, Harry!” You cheered as you picked him up, sucking in before settling on your hip. “Happy birthday, little dude.” 

“Am two!” He announced as he held up four fingers. 

“You are two! Way to go!” You laughed. “Is everyone here?” You asked the room, shooting Sirius a tight smile so you couldn’t be accused of hostility when your heart stuttered for an entirely different reason. 

He looked tired - a bone deep tired that no amount of sleep could rectify - and the bags under his eyes seemed to be chronic. But he was still so beautiful; his hair had grown slightly longer since the last time you’d seen it, the last time you’d run your fingers through it, the last time you’d brought sheers to it, and he donned more than a few new tattoos if the few you could see were enough to go by. 

You had to look away.

“Reg’s going to be by after work; his part-time student called in sick so he needed to be there to close the shop himself. Thankfully, they’re only open in the morning on Sunday’s.” Remus explained kindly.

“Good, it’ll be nice to see him.” You offered, and the room fell slightly awkward.

“Uncle Pafoo, aeroplane?” Harry asked then, and whatever exhaustion seemed to be plaguing Sirius vanished as he beamed at his godson. 

“Absolutely, little man!” He agreed, holding his arms out and taking Harry’s weight from you.

“Do you want something to drink, Y/N? Wine? Beer, Cider? Juice? Water?” James rapid fire, causing Lily to groan. 

“We just got her back, Potter. Do try to control yourself.” 

“Water would be great, Jamie. Thank you.” You laughed, following the group into the open concept kitchen-to-living room. 

Save the fact that you and Sirius seemed to be doing acrobatics to avoid each other, you were almost stunned at how easy and natural being back here felt. Regulus returned and the two of you shared friendly jibes, Lily caught you up on all of the drama at the Ministry, James strong armed you into agreeing to join them for their next pub quiz night, and Remus said that your old professors all wished you well. 

You loved your cottage - the home you’d built for yourself and your little one - but you found yourself feeling homesick for here, and you hadn’t even left yet.

You were leaning on your elbows against the kitchen island, watching Sirius and Regulus pretend to be knights in shining armour as they fought off a fire breathing dragon (Harry) to save the princess (James) when Remus appeared beside you and mirrored your stance. 

“It’s not the same without you, you know?” He murmured then. 

“But they seem to be alright.” You responded simply, and Remus allowed the two of you to fall into silence for a few beats.

“How far along are you?” 

You stood up straight and turned to stare at him in horror, only to see him smiling kindly at you. 

“How do you-”

“Lycanthropy - I could smell it on you.” He said with an embarrassed wrinkle of his nose. “I knew Lily was pregnant before she did.”

You shushed him and looked over your shoulder to ensure no one else could hear you.

“Come.” He said with a sigh, gently taking you by the elbow and ushering you out of the sliding doors to the back yard and closing it behind the two of you. 

“Remus-”

“Is it his?” He cut you off; his face held no judgement though perhaps just a touch of concern. For you or his best friend/virtual brother-in-law, you weren’t sure.

“Yes.” You whispered, not bothering to clarify who he was talking about; you both knew. 

Remus simply nodded as he looked you over. “Is that why you left?”

“He left first.” You hissed petulantly.

“He left you, but you left all of us.” Remus countered somewhat sternly. “Besides, I didn’t ask about him; is this why you left?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” 

“Because, Remus!” You shouted, tears flooding your vision as you turned to look at him. “Because he didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want me. I wasn’t going to force him to come back just because… just because.” 

“Don’t you think he should have been able to make that choice for himself?” Remus asked gently.

“He chose! He did choose! He told me he couldn’t play house, he told me he couldn’t be this person for me. I loved him enough to accept that. I loved him enough to let him go.”

“Loved?” Remus asked with a tilt of his head. “Past tense?” 

“Remus.” You groaned. “Please.”

“He came back for you, you know.” Remus pointed out. “He left you, you left us, but he came back for you.” 

“Stop it.”

“It’s true, Y/N.”

“And so what if it is?” You nearly sobbed. “So what if he did, Remus? What can I do? I can’t go back in time and change my mind, I can’t go back and fix this. He made choices, I made choices, and here we are.” 

Remus heaved a sigh and looked at you sadly. “I don't think either of you realise that your choices don’t have to remain permanent; there can be an expiration date on them.” 

You were catching your breath from your mini temper tantrum when you heard the glass door slide open, both you and Remus turning to see Sirius standing there almost shy - far shier than you’d ever seen him before.  

“Just talk to him? Okay? You..don’t have to tell him now, just…talk to him.” Remus whispered before heading towards the door, clapping Sirius on the back before disappearing back into the house. 

“Hey.” Sirius offered cautiously after a few beats of silence, coming to stand beside you as the two of you looked over the railing of the patio to the rest of the manor grounds. 

“Hey.” You returned dumbly, clearing your throat before continuing. “You…you look good, Sirius.”

Sirius scoffed, and you could feel your shoulder rising before you saw him smirk at you - if not somewhat sadly - cutting you a playful glare from the corner of his eye. “Did you take up lying there in Ireland?” 

You let out a breathy half-laugh. “I’m not lying.” 

“Then you need glasses. I look like shite.”

“You look tired.” You amended. 

“I’m exhausted.” He agreed, and the two of you lapsed into silence. 

“You look good, though.” He continued. “Healthy.”

You hummed in agreement. “Funny what not having to run on rations and broken hours of sleep on military cots does for a person.”

“Why haven’t I heard from you, Y/N?” He blurted then, turning his entire body to face you. 

“Sirius, I-”

“Everyone else has. You’ve spoken to Lily on the phone. James and Remus have gotten letters. Even Reg got a postcard for his birthday.” 

“I’m sorry.” Was all you could manage to say.

“I wrote to you.” He continued. “Letters, a lot. Did you get them?”

You nodded your head yes shamefully.

“Did you read them?”

You felt your heart splinter at how hopeful and heartbroken he sounded over it. You felt like scum of the earth when you shook your head no, and he let out a sigh.

“I guess that makes me feel a little bit better, then.” He said as he lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. 

You found yourself taking a step away from him when you asked “why does that make you feel better?”

He let out a humourless laugh that forced smoke from his lips. “At least now I know that my begging for a second chance, begging you to come home, professing my love for you isn’t what kept you away.”

“Sirius-”

“I messed up, Y/N.” He declared earnestly. “I…I was fucking scared, terrified. I’d spent so much of my life living with one foot on the threshold of hell that after the war, I didn’t know how to live amongst the undead.”

He took a moment to catch his breath as if he’d run all the way here just to tell you something. “And I ran. I bolted, I…”

“You left.” You finished for him. 

“I left.” He agreed. “I… I didn’t know, Y/N.”

“Didn’t know what?” You asked as you choked back tears.

“Didn’t know what I had, or what I wanted. Or that I had everything that I wanted.”

“And you do, now? You know what you want?” You asked, and a look of determination painted his features as he met your gaze head on.

“For my entire life, I had never known what family meant, so I wasn’t even aware that I’d created my own with all of you until I’d risked it all. I was so sure I didn’t want to be like my parents that I never realised I may actually…want to be a parent someday. I was so sure I didn’t want to be my father that I never realised I actually did want to be a partner someday. I was so certain I’d never know what true love felt like that I didn’t even realise I had it right here all along with you.” 

“Sirius-”

“I messed up. I left. But what I don’t understand is why you did. Or why you stayed away.” He took a step towards you with his cigarette long forgotten in one of his hands, the ash threatening to burn his fingers before you plucked it and stubbed it out on the stone railing. He barely flinched. “Why’d you go?”

“I didn’t want to sit around and wait for you, Sirius. I- it hurt, I was hurt. And then-”

“I’m sorry.” He offered quickly, but you shook your head.

“I’m not telling you this for you to be sorry, I just-”

“I came back for you.”

“But it wasn’t just about me anymore, Sirius!” You shouted then, and you watched his brows furrow before his face fell in horror. 

“You’re seeing someone.” He asked, though he phrased it as more of a statement; like he’d been expecting it.

“I’m not seeing anyone, Sirius.” You sighed.

“Then why’d you leave? Why’d you stay away?”

“Because I’m pregnant.” You blurted, and Sirius fell silent. “I’m almost six months pregnant.”

“Six-” He started, eyes falling to your stomach still hidden behind the baggy article of clothing before you smoothed the fabric over your ever rounding bump. “Six months. Six…”

You let him do the maths in the head as he stared hard at your stomach like he was sitting in divination and it was a crystal ball that might just give him the answers if only he stared at it long enough.

“It’s mine?” He finally concluded.

“Yes.” You whispered.

“It’s mine. You’re pregnant, it’s mine.” He murmured, before his eyes met yours again. “You’re pregnant with my child?”

“Right.” You agreed, and he crumpled to a heap on the floor. 

“Sirius Orion Black,” Sirius heard Remus hiss, clearly hovering somewhere over him, “I swear to Godric if you do not wake up and eat some of this godsdamned vanilla cake you bought, your brother is going to skin you alive.” 

“It’s true.” James agreed from somewhere on Sirius’ other side. “He actually ran to the store when he found out you bought vanilla because he knew Remus wouldn’t eat any of it. Remus is going to get his chocolate cake, and you’re going to get egged.” 

“Shut up.” Sirius hissed as he scrunched his eyes closed. “Fuck.”

“How do you feel, mate?” James asked rather jovially as he clapped him roughy on the shoulder.

“Like hell.”

“Why’s that?” Remus joined in.

“Because I was in the middle of a dream and you sods woke me up going on about cake.” He muttered as he opened his eyes, realising then that he’d been propped up on a number of cushions in one of Lily and James’ spare rooms.

“S’he awake?” Lily whispered, and Sirius craned his neck to see you and Lily poke your heads into the room.

“Oh my gods.” Sirius breathed as he sat up, likely far too fast for someone who fell unconscious mere moments ago. “Oh my gods, you’re actually here?” 

“Did you hit your head, mate?” James asked as he prodded at Sirius’ head, causing Sirius to swat his arms away as he shifted towards the edge of the bed.

“You’re here.” He whispered as you slowly made your way into the room.

“I’m here.” You offered cautiously, eyes darting around at your oldest friends like there might be some secret threat lurking in the room.

“You’re pregnant…” He tried then, punching the air right out of Lily and James who both spun to stare at you in shock.

You smoothed the fabric of your shirt over your midsection again to expose a very obvious (now that everyone could actually see it) baby bump. 

“Oh my gods!” Lily and James chorused, causing Remus to snort.

“You knew, didn’t you!?” Lily accused Remus who held his hands up in surrender. 

“Only when she walked in, and not a second sooner.” 

“With my child.” Sirius continued, and you nodded at him. 

“Y/N.” Lily winced. “You-”

“You sodding scared me!” You shrilled then, grabbing one of the throw pillows James had dumped onto the ground to make room for Sirius and swinging it at him.

“I scared you!?” Sirius shrieked right back, much to the delight of Harry who started banging on the throw pillow that had landed beside him. 

“I thought I killed you!”

“Oh, well I’m terribly sorry that finding out the woman I’ve been in love with for years and pining hopelessly over for months - who was missing for all intents and purposes, may I remind you - is pregnant with my child happened to be a little shocking.” Sirius sneered sarcastically. 

“Well I only went ‘missing’ because the man I’ve been hopelessly in love with for years and pining hopelessly over for months took off an-” The abrupt end of your statement nearly gave the room whiplash as you cut yourself off mid sentence and stared at Sirius like you’d never seen him before. 

“What…what just happened?” James whispered carefully.

“Years?” You whispered then, and Sirius hated every version of himself that deigned to let you go without knowing just how loved you were.

“Probably when we were still just cosmic dust.” Sirius smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I didn’t always realise, I’m sorry I didn’t make sure that you knew.”

“I take it to guess there isn’t an aunt in Killarney?” Lily offered then, smiling kindly at you when you turned your attention towards her.

“No, I- I think there actually is an aunt in Killarney, I just don’t live with her.”

“Where do you live?” Sirius asked eagerly, wondering if you could hear it in his voice or even see on his face just how desperate he was to know everything about you.

“Near Tintagel.” You offered abashedly as Remus slapped his hand on his thigh.

“You minx!” He scolded you. “You lived basically across the channel from me this whole time!”

“I hope it’s nice, wherever it is” You offered him then, smiling through your tears as Sirius swallowed around his bile threatening its way up his oesophagus.

“I hope it’s nice.” Sirius blurted suddenly, and Sirius thanked the heavens for Remus John Lupin who seemed to understand that the conversation delved beyond the need of an audience, scooping Harry up and closing the door behind Lily, James, and himself to give you two some privacy. 

“It’s nice.” You offered wetly. “It’s quiet.”

Sirius hummed in acknowledgement. “In Tintagel, near Merlin’s cave?”

You laughed, which saw Sirius smiling. “I’m not right in Tintagel, just outside. My neighbours are mostly sheep.” 

“Does it have a picket fence?”

“To keep the sheep out of my garden.” You nodded with a smile.

“Flowers; lots of them.” Sirius deduced, you nodded again though Sirius watched your smile falter.

“You’d probably hate it.”

“Are you there?” He asked quickly.

“Well, usually, yes.” You offered, and Sirius shrugged easily.

“Sounds as though it might be my favourite place in the world, then.” 

The next breath that left you shuddered on its way out, and Sirius finally stood and met you in the middle of the room; close enough to touch but not daring to. He hadn’t earned that right yet. 

“Take me with you?” He all but begged then, and your face crumpled in misery.

“Sirius, I don’t want you to follow me because you have to, I-”

“I don’t have to though, I know I don’t; I know you’d never make me.” He assured you then, lifting a hand but pausing to wait for you to nod at him before he placed it on your upper arm. “The letters, Y/N, I- I’ve been looking for you for months.”

A sob tore through you as you lowered your head, and Sirius allowed himself to catch it in his free hand. 

“I don’t want you to feel bad; I’m not telling you so that you feel bad, love.” The endearment falling off his tongue so easily now that he had you in his arms. “But I need you to know that I want you - any of you, all of you - and have for a very long time.” 

“It’s just…you said-” and Sirius knew exactly what he said; he had played that conversation over and over and over in his mind until he found himself sick over it more than once. But we waited for you to tell him anyhow; he’d always wait for you. “You couldn’t settle down and be content, you couldn’t play house; you weren’t that kind of guy.” 

“I know, doll. I know.” He whispered. “I…I didn’t think I was capable of it. I didn’t think I deserved everything I wanted and I knew that you deserved better. That you deserve better.”

“But?”

“But I’d be happy to spend the rest of my life trying to prove you otherwise; trying to give you everything you deserve.”

“Sirius…” You sighed, and Sirius could see your walls cracking. “I…I’m-”

“Take me home? Please?” He begged then, words interrupted by a sob of his own. “To Tintagel, to Killarney, to bloody fucking Azkaban or the bottom of the sodding ocean, I don’t care where it is just as long as it’s with you, please. Please.”

Your hands landed on Sirius’ chest and he was sure you could feel his hummingbird heart beating under your fingertips. He only hoped you knew how it beat for you. 

“Please bring me home?”

James didn’t know if he could consider this a success or not. 

His motivation was not singular; it was a ‘hit two fairies with one gobstone’ sort of scenario, so to speak. Was his son turning two? Indeed he was! Was James throwing a party for said son’s birthday? You’re damned right he was. But was it also a really good excuse to force two of his idiot best friends into the same room again? Absolutely.

Except James seems to have gotten slightly more than he bargained for; Sirius falling unconscious in his childhood backyard, you sobbing into Lily’s shoulder out in the hallway as he and Remus tried to bring him back from the dead, Remus sneering at a slice of birthday cake like it personally offended him and Regulus threatening to defend his boyfriend’s honour, and - apparently - a new niece or nephew coming in the next three-ish months. 

But when he looked over to see you and Sirius emerging from the spare room - both of your faces tear stained and puffy from the grief and torment you no doubt put yourselves through - hands intertwined between your bodies and your hand resting protectively over your growing bump, and a spark in Sirius’ eyes James had thought he lost in the war but now realised he only lost when he lost you…

…yeah, James figured he could probably consider this a success.

[nerds-worlds-blog]

How l look when the slow burn starts to actually burn

[hearts4golbach]

Drinking Again.

pairing:

Revenge!Gerard x Fem!Reader.

a/n:

short little blurb because I'm desperate

can you tell revenge era is my favorite?

not proofread

warnings:

pre-established relationship, drinking, angst.

word count:

0.8k

. . .

Your heart shattered a little more with every shot Gerard downed. You felt useless. There wasn't much you could do to get him to stop. Mikey sat next to him, a similar worried demeanor about him.

You pulled yourself out of the stool and stood behind Gerard, gently rubbing his back. "It's time to go, don't you think?" You questioned softly.

He nudged you away with his shoulder. "How many times do I need to tell you, Y/n? I'm fine." He glared over at you, his eyes droopy and bloodshot. He reeked of alcohol and you could barely stand it.

"You're not fine, Gerard. I know you," you lowered your voice. "Let's go home, please?"

"Fuck off," he spat. His tone made you take a step back. It was one of the rare times his voice wasn't soft and careful as he spoke. It was angry.

"Gerard," you attempted to emphasize how serious you were, but it came out more as a plea.

"I don't need you fuckin' protecting me or whatever you think you're doing. Just go home," he waved you away with his hand while the other wrapped around another shot glass.

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes. You couldn't help but scoff as you looked towards Mikey. He shrugged with a frown present on his face. You knew he'd take care of him, so you did as Gerard told you. You went back to your apartment.

You gripped the steering wheel so tight your knuckles began to turn white. Quiet tears fell from your face as you racked your brain for some way to help. You knew there was nothing you could do until he wanted to get better.

You weren't exactly sure when that would be.

You felt like a zombie as you unlocked your apartment door. You were overwhelmed with so many emotions. You shut the door behind you and leaned against it, sliding down into a sitting position. You prayed you'd get a text from Mikey, maybe even Gerard. You weren't sure if he was okay. God, you could only hope.

You weren't sure how long you sat in the same position, staring at your phone on the floor or at the wall in front of you. A soft knock on the door snapped you out of your trance.

You cracked the door open to see Gerard. "Gee," you said softly, "how did you get here."

"Mikey dropped me off," he slurred, "that's not- that's not important right now."

"Get inside," you instructed, opening the door to allow him in.

Tears filled his hazel eyes as he began to speak. "I fucked up. Fuck, I've been fucking up. I just- I'm so sorry about earlier."

"I know," you wrapped your arms around his neck, "it's okay. Tell me what's going on. I want to help you."

He let out a shaky breath. He wrapped his arms around your waist and held you as tight as he possibly could. His grip loosened before he spoke again. "This shit is so overwhelming. With the new album and everything I- I need an escape."

"Well, what do you think I'm here for?" You pulled away, showing him a soft smile.

He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against your lips. "I know. Sometimes I feel like I'm the most annoying motherfucker on Earth. I don't wanna bother you, sugar."

You rested your forehead against his. "You're not annoying. That's what I'm here for. We can work through it together, okay?"

He hummed a soft okay. "Can I stay?"

You giggled. "What kind of question is that? C'mon."

You wiped the stray tears from his face before leading him towards your bedroom. You carefully helped him into the pajama bottoms that he kept at your apartment (along with a shit ton of other clothes). He stayed in the same black tee-shirt.

He collapsed into the bed, most likely mentally and physically exhausted. You crawled in next to him, pulling the covers over the two of you. "I love you, you know that, right?" He whispered, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. "I love you so much."

You placed a gentle kiss on his nose as you wrapped your arms around him in return. "I love you. We'll get through this together, okay? I'd walk through hell and back for you."

"Okay," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your lips before nuzzling into you.

[aanoia]

Definitely (Dying, pt. 2)

Poly!marauders x reader, James Potter x reader, Remus Lupin x reader, Sirius Black x reader

Summary; a failed attempt and a year later, y/n is finally okay

Words; 1,800+

Warnings; srs tw, talk of drug abuse, suicide, self harm, I think that's all

Pt. 1, "Dying"

Really heavy topics, loves, please proceed with caution. I love you all!

It had been two months. The worst two months of their lives. The Marauders watched from afar as their now ex girlfriend killed herself, and said ex girlfriend had to watch as her lovers sat in each other's arms, basking in each other's presence. It was all too much. She couldn’t take it anymore. 

Today was a rare day where Y/n wasn’t on anything. Her system was clear and a bright smile was on her face. Almost everyone felt uncomfortable about the sudden change, wondering why she was suddenly… okay. Truth is she was the farthest from that that she’s ever been.

“Oh my gosh! Y/n, I love your necklace. Where did you get it?” Lily Evans, one of Y/n’s best friends, asked as Y/n sat down at the table. She sat as far away from the Marauders as she could, which proved difficult as Lily loved sitting next to them.

Y/n smiled and reached behind her head, swiftly unclasping the necklace and dangling it in front of Lily, “Here, have it.”

Lily shook her head, “Oh no, I couldn’t take it.”

“No, I swear it’s fine. It’s not really my style anyway. It’d look much better on you than me.” Y/n insisted and Lily hesitantly took the necklace. 

The thing is, that was Y/n’s favorite necklace. One her mom had given her when she was just a little girl, before she became a disappointment. The Marauders knew that. They shared uneasy looks, confused as to why she would so easily hand over her favorite possession, 

“Awh, that was sweet, Y/n.” Marlene said, admiring the golden necklace that now lay beautifully across Lily’s chest.

“Oh, here. You can have my bracelet. I always see you eyeing it.” She removed the bracelet and handed it to Marlene.

“Oh, thank you, Y/n. How kind.” She said with her brows furrowed.

“Of course.” Y/n responded with a smile.

It had been like that all day. She had given away everything that was complimented and constantly gave people hugs and told them she loved me. It was weird, for lack of a better term. It wasn’t only people close to her that noticed the unusualness either. It was classmates and teachers as well, even the paintings that lined the walls noticed a difference. It left an uneasy pit in everyone's stomach. 

That night, Remus sat at his desk with his hand holding up his head as he was deep in thought. 

James gently placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, “Moony? What’s going on in that head of yours?” James asked and Sirius perked up at the question, also wanting to know the answer.

Remus shook his head, “S’nothing.”

Sirius let out a short laugh, “You're full of shit. You’ve got that face. You only get that face when you’re thinking of something.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re right. He does have a thinking face.” James agreed and Sirius nodded.

“I know right, he goes like-” Sirius made an exaggerated facial expression.

“No, that looks nothing like him, dimwit. It’s like this-”  Remus tuned them out as they fought.

He went over every interaction Y/n had had that he witnessed throughout the day. She was acting so strange. Even before all the weed and drugs she never just gave away her possessions. She loved her things and held them close to her heart. So why was she giving it all away? And why was she suddenly showing so much affection? And why now? What changed? And why does Remus feel like he’s forgetting somethin-

Remus shot from his seat, “We need to find her. Now.” He said urgently before running out of the room, the boys paused before running after him, knowing exactly who “her” was. 

Remus hastily knocked on the door of Y/n’s dorm room, hoping she would open the door. Instead he was met with the sleepy face of Lily Evans and soft snores from Marlene who was cuddled up into Dorcas’ side. No Y/n.

“Remus?” She glanced behind him. “Sirius? James? What is it?”

“Is Y/n here?” He asked, dread filling his body.

Lily shook her head, “No, she said she was going up to the astronomy tower. Why?”

“I’ll tell you later, thank you.” He said before beginning to move again, but once they got down to the empty common room Sirius grabbed tightly onto his arm, stopping any movement. 

“Remus, what is going on? Why are you so worried?” Sirius asked.

“I think Y/n’s going to kill herself. The signs add up, giving away valuable possessions, being extra affectionate, and you know how her life is. We need to find her, now.” Sirius and James looked at each other before nodding. Sirius let go of Remus and all three sped to the astronomy tower, spending little to no time to think about not getting caught. Right now it was not a priority, their priority was Y/n.

They raced up the steps, not stopping as their lungs begged for air and legs ached for rest. Remus burst through the door and halted as his eyes lay on a silhouette standing at the edge of the tower, on the other side of the rails.

“Remus?” The figure asked, her voice hoarse and broken.

“Y/n, baby, please. Come here.” He begged as his boyfriends came in behind him.

“Y/n?” James asked tentatively. “Sweetheart, don’t do it.”

“Please, go away.” She asked, tears pouring from her eyes. They weren’t supposed to be here. “Please.” She whispered.

Sirius was the only one brave enough to step closer, “No. We let you leave once already, I won’t let you again.” He took another step.

“No, get away from me!” She cried, her sweaty hands slipping against the cool metal.

“Love.” Sirius said quietly, close enough to whisper to her. “It’s going to be okay, yeah?” She began to protest but he shook his head, shushing her while taking yet another step forward. “No, I know how hard that is to believe. But it will. And I- we- we will be there every step of the way. Come on, love, grab onto my hand.” He said quietly while stretching his hand out.

“I can’t do it anymore, Siri.” She whispered, her legs shaking.

“Yes you can.” He assured her immediately. “You can, I know of it. You are the strongest girl I’ve met. I know you can stay here. With me. And Remus. And James. I know you can.”

“But the weed and-and the alcohol, even if I don’t know, I’ll kill myself!” 

“Then we’ll work together to get sober. Y/n, my love, it’s not impossible for you to be happy. I need you to realize that. You can be happy, and you are worthy of being happy. Now hold my hand, please.” He asked again, tears stinging his eyes. She hesitantly grabbed his hand and let him help her over the rails.

The moment her feet touched the ground of the astronomy tower she collapsed in tears and the three immediately engulfed her in a warm hug. She sobbed in their arms for what felt like hours, but the boys didn’t care. She needed love, and they were going to give it to her. 

Once her cries quieted to small sniffles Remus pulled away and gently placed his hand on her tear stained cheek, wiping away the tears with the pad of his thumb.

“Hey, baby.” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“Whatever for?” 

“Being such a bitch to you guys and pushing you.” She said, her eyes cast downward as guilt filled her body.

“It’s alright, my love. We’ve already forgiven you.” Sirius responded, the boys nodding along with him. 

“We just want you to be okay.” James said, his arms wrapped loosely around her neck as he placed a soft kiss on her temple.

Y/n nodded slowly, “I wanna be okay too.”

“You will be okay.”

A year later, Y/n smiled at Lily as she sat down at the table in the morning. 

“Good morning, Lily, how did you sleep?”

Lily snorted, “I would’ve slept better if a few girls in my dorm didn’t stop gossiping all night.”

Y/n and Marlene looked at each other with smirks.

“Oh, how rude of them.” Marlene said.

“Truly a tragedy.” Y/n agreed, grabbing a piece of toast. “Does anyone know where my boyfriends are?” She asked, looking around the table.

“Probably doing something dumb.” Dorcas said and Y/n nodded.

“I believe it.” 

The doors to Great Hall opened and in walked Sirius Black. He walked to the Gryffindor table and stood behind his girlfriend, leaning down.

“We need you outside, please, Ms. L/n.” He said, sending shivers down the girl's spine.

“Oh, really?” She asked.

He kissed her cheek, “Yes, ma’am. Shall I escort you?” He asked, standing straight and holding out his hand.

She grabbed his hand, “You shall.” She stood up and let out a small yelp as Sirius quickly tugged her along. Y/n laughed as they sped down the hallway, making Sirius smile. Her laugh truly was music to his ears.

The left the castle and Sirius brought her to a little picnic blanket which her other two boyfriends were lounging on while conversating.

“Ah, look at our girl.” James said as he noticed them approaching.

“Guys, what is this?” Y/n asked with wide eyes as Sirius pushed her down gently, urging her to sit.

“Well, I do believe it’s a picnic.” Remus answered with a grin.

Y/n rolled her eyes, “No, I mean what’s it for?”

“Ah, great question. Today marks one year of you being sober, and we wanted to show you how proud of you we are.” Sirius explained and Y/n smiled.

“Guys, thank you. I love you all so much.”

“We love you too.” James responded.

“Oh! Hagrid made a cake. We didn’t ask him too, but he handed it to us and told us to make sure it got to you.” Remus said, handing Y/n a box.

Y/n smiled as she read what was on the cake. 

‘PROWD OF YOU, Y/N!’

“Awh, Hagrid is so sweet.” Y/n said with a large smile.

“We’re proud of you too, by the way.” James said, putting his head on her lap.

Sirius grabbed Y/n’s hand, “I told you you were the strongest girl I knew.”

Pride swelled in Y/n’s chest. She had come so far in just a year. She had walked through hell and came back alive, barely, but still alive. She had cut off contact from her parents, much to their dismay as now their scapegoat had left, however they didn’t put in the effort to keep her around. During the summer before seventh year she stayed in the spare bedroom at the Potter house, going under strict rules of doors open at all times if she and James were together, or any of them if the other two came over. Y/n was more than okay, she was happy. She healed. Was it hard? Maybe. Was it worth it? 

Definitely.

Tag list;

@duruxoxo @mars-marley @siriuslydestiny @gagafatale @lestat-whore @1hornyforfictionalmen1 @megluv1 @takem3tothelakes @fictionalmensblog @ssaspencerreidswife

[wangxianficrecs]

The Price of Forever by Witch_Nova221

The Price of Forever

by Witch_Nova221 (@witchnova221)

T, 22k, Wangxian

Part of the Summer Solstice

Summary: 'It is the nature of men to claim a prize rather than earn one,' said Lan Wangji, blinking past the tears in his eyes, 'Now, to capture a unicorn and to become an immortal means you can claim so much more. Had I...I would have been able to claim a wife, land, fortunes. My own brother, older than me, would have had to bow when I passed. I would have been held amongst the greats but...' 'But you would be cursed,' said Wei Ying, 'That's what they've never learned.' When Lan Wangji injures a unicorn, he learns the truth about the age-old traditions that his clan and the world have undertaken for generations. With a new friend to protect and the pressure of the world upon him, he knows he must pay a price, the cost of which is high on either side. Kay's comments: This story has the loveliest fairytale vibes and I really loved seeing Wei Wuxian as an otherwordly unicorn and the journey Lan Wangji went through in this story and of course, their relationship progression! Very sweet. Excerpt: Short, panicked breaths echoed back at him through the darkness and he conjured a light, letting it hang in the air until it illuminated the narrow cave. The blood glittered darkly on the floor, the trail a little thinner than it had been. 'Get back hunter or I'll kill you where you stand.' A voice. A human voice, hissing at him in anger. Did the unicorn have a protector? One of Lan Wangji's own kind, turned against the practices of old and dedicated to the protection of the creatures the rest of the world hunted? 'I mean no harm,' said Lan Wangji, daring another step further, 'I injured a... an animal and followed it here. I wanted...' 'I know what you did and I know what you want, hunter. Leave now and you may do so with your life.' Lan Wangji took another step forward, the light falling on a bare foot, a long strong leg marred with a bloody gash from knee to hip. The left leg. The same leg Lan Wangji had hit on the unicorn. He took one final step, the light fully illuminating the man curled as close to the cave wall as he could be, only his injured leg outstretched. He was almost naked, caring little for his own modesty in ragged clothes that looked as though he had worn them as a child then torn them as he sprouted into adulthood. He glared at Lan Wangji with eyes that looked too old for his face. Grey eyes that knew everything of the world and still saw wonder in it even if they were now filled with fear.

pov lan wangji, canon era, unicorn wei wuxian, unicorns, fairy tale elements, romance, action/adventure, adventure & romance, blood and injury, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, mythical beings & creatures, families of choice, strangers to lovers, enemies to friends to lovers, falling in love

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[valentinetypewriter]

Me and My Husband-Chapter 1

Summary + series masterlist

Main masterlist // marauders era masterlist

This is a slow burn wolfstar x reader/arranged marriage au

Word count : 2,724

The Marauders had all piled up into a carriage of the Hogwarts Express, sweets and lollies littering the seats and floor as they talked all about their break from school. Sirius had of course spent most of his break with the Potters once again before having to go back home before the start of their new school year. "We went to this muggle movie theatre and it was amazing, I've never been to one before" Sirius was currently spouting out about all the things he had done with James, not having a chance to do those kinds of things in his own home. "It was quite fun until we almost got kicked out because Padfoot here wouldn't shut up!" James spoke up with a humorous tone. "Well enough about that, how did your guys break go?" Sirius asked the other two boys after giving James a slight shove. Remus spoke up first "I went to visit my grandparents, they live out in the countryside, so it was nice to have some peace and quiet finally" Peter timidly spoke, a hint of concern in his voice. "Did you handle the full moons alright?" Remus gave a slight nod "it's a pretty secluded area, plus lots of room to run around" He gave Peter a smile to ease up any concern he had for the young Werewolf.

The rest of the trip was filled with mindless talk about more stuff that happened during their break, what kind of pranks they were planning this year and of course relationships. Sirius seemed to stiffen as soon as the topic had been brought up. Peter droned on about his new hufflepuff girlfriend he had gotten at the end of last year before asking the others if they had any crushes or anything. "Well I can't say I have one yet, but who knows this year I might get lucky" James said with a huge dorky grin on his face. After being rejected by Lily Evans far too many times the boy had decided it was best to move on, and now without the constant attempts to gain her affection they had become close friends. Sirius hadn't contributed much to the conversation though, in fact he hadn't spoken a word since Peter had brought the topic up. Although James and Peter didn't notice, the two boys continued with meaningless conversation. Remus on the other hand had noticed how Sirius was unusually quiet, his stormy eyes didn't look away from the window he was leaning against until the scarred hand of the tall boy touched his knee gently "you alright padfoot?" Remus's soft voice had always been pleasant to his ears. Sirius gave a small nod and faked a smile, though Remus could always tell when someone was faking a smile he just always knew, tilting his head as his eyebrows furrowed, clearly not believing what he had said. It scared Sirius just how much of an open book he seemed to Remus, though he guessed everyone felt that way about the tall boy. He knew Remus knew he was lying, he leant down towards him "I'm here if you need anything Sirius" giving him a soft smile, everything about Remus Lupin was soft, his hair, his voice, his warm skin and even the sweaters he always wore. Thankfully though he didn't press on, just leaving his large warm hand on Sirius's knee.

The train ride had come to an end soon after that, the four rowdy boys rushing off the train. All laughing like madmen at some stupid joke James had said. "Let's get to hogwarts quickly I'm starved" Sirius said with an over dramatic and drawn out sigh, James slung his arm around him as a laugh was drawn out from him "yeah because you totally didn't have enough from the trolley" Sirius elbowed him in the side, although that did nothing to discourage James. "Yeah padfoot you would've brought her whole stock if Moony hadn't stopped you" Peters jab had James cracking up all over again. Even Remus let out a small laugh, though Sirius just huffed "you're all the worst" shaking his head at his three friends. "Yeah but you'd be lost without us" James stated, ruffling up the hair of his best friend. As they continued walking Sirius caught sight of the one person he dreaded seeing around the school other than his younger brother, Y/n l/n, or as he referred to her since their last meeting during their break, the absolute bane of his existence. The sight of the expensive jewellery she wore on her hand made his thoughts bubble with anger, she was just as pompous and up herself as ever. He quickly dismissed the thoughts of her, not wanting to think more of it.

The four friends eventually found their way to the great hall, watching on as new 1st years were getting sorted. The boys were certainly the loudest when new students were sorted into Gryffindor. After the sorting and the same speech Dumbledore gave every year the feast had begun, everyone digging in and talking loudly with the people around them. Once the boys had finished eating they rushed to their dorm room, already excited to start planning out pranks for their last year. They all fell asleep quicker then they had initially planned on, the adrenalin wearing off as they started to crash out, barely out of their clothes or under their covers. Remus fell asleep sitting at his desk, his head leaning against his sweater he was using as a makeshift pillow. James was sitting upright, leant against the headboard of his bed, Sirius had crashed out at the end of James bed, his legs dangling off the edge of the bed. And Peter had fallen asleep on his own bed, though lying on top of the covers in nothing but sweat pants he had changed into.

They woke up later than usual, all stiff and sore from the uncomfortable positions they slept in, except for Peter, he was just cold. They all got dressed and decided to go down to the courtyard, they had the entire weekend to settle back in before 7th year classes started. Which they were all eternally grateful for. The Marauders made their way outside, laughing and joking around as usual. Finding somewhere nice to sit they picked back up their conversation from last night. "So this year everything needs to be bigger and better boys" James announced, clapping his hands together "I was thinking that prank we did last year on Snivellus, when we turned his uniform bright pink for the whole day, was pretty good but we could definitely top that". As soon as he finished the four boys all had that same classic Marauders look on their faces that screamed they were up to no good and to steer clear. Sirius shot up "how about we make it rainbow and glitter" Peter laughed and added on "yeah we could even add frills this time" that sent the boys into a crazed fit of laughter all except Remus. It wasn't that he was against the idea, it was more that he had something else in mind "or we could turn his uniform into the girl's one" despite his voice not being as loud as the others, their laughter had completely stopped. Wide devious smiles quickly covered the shocked looks they gave him "Merlin Remus you're a bloody genius!" James shouted, as he ruffled his hair up in approval.

They continued talking about how they'd pull it off when James noticed none other than Lily Evans walking through the courtyard "hey Lily!" James shouted out without a second thought. Lily's head shot up and she smiled at the boys walking over with one of her friends she had been talking to. "Hello boys, I hope the break treated you all well" the boys responded with simple answers of head nods and even a thumbs up from Remus. Sirius had finally noticed who Lily just so happened to drag along with her, of course it just had to be her, Y/n. "Mind if we sit with you guys?" Lily asked, her tone as sweet as always. Sirius would have denied her, almost saying how they were planning some 'Marauders' stuff. But of course James beat him to it "of course not, go for it ladies" he smiled at the two girls as they sat down. Sirius was angry at this, not at James for letting her sit with them, but at Y/n for thinking she could just sit near him so casually.

Sirius couldn't help the hateful glare as he watched the girl in front of him, seemingly avoiding conversation with the rest of the Marauders. All he could focus on was the girl he deemed to be the bane of his existence talking away with Lily, the two only met because of Lily's best friend Severus due to the two being in Slytherin. His stormy eyes held a gaze with the glittering gem on her left ring finger, acting as a constant and cruel reminder of his unwanted fate. Remus of course had noticed, he always did when Sirius's mood suddenly changed. The Werewolf leant down to whisper into said boys ear "You know if you keep brooding at her you're going to burn holes into the back of her head" he let out a soft huff of amusement as the boy looked back over at him, an incredulous look on his face "I'm not brooding, I just don't like her" Remus had that look on his face, the kind of look that said yeah that's totally it. The boy shook his head leaving the over dramatic boy to continue his not brooding session.

Y/n knew Sirius was glaring, she could feel his eyes on her as soon as she sat down with Lily. She tried to ignore it, instead choosing to focus on her conversation with said girl about their breaks, the muggle born witch always asked about the balls and events Y/n went to. Neither minded talking about it, Lily got an inside view of what rich and exclusive Pure Blood gatherings were like and Y/n was able to boast about the overly expensive dresses and jewellery she wore to each event and how pretty she felt in them. She was able to ignore the glaring eyes that seemed almost harsh enough to feel in her skull, until Lily had pointed it out "you know Sirius has been staring at you this entire time" the Slytherin didn't spare a glance at the mentioned boy "I'm well aware, he's been doing that a lot lately, I have no idea why" she let out a scoff at the end of her sentence. As much as she liked to talk about every little detail that happened during her break to Lily. The one thing she just so happened to leave out was the meeting between both her family and the Blacks. When Y/n's left hand combed through her hair brushing it back giving Sirius a perfect view of the beautiful ring he had come to hate, and of course he had taken it as a personal insult, as if she was flaunting the expensive jewel on her finger to dig the knife deeper into him. And that kind of insult wasn't something he had taken very lightly as something seemed to snap inside him, the black haired boy stood up abruptly walking over to the two girls "may I have a word with you l/n" his stormy grey eyes filled with hatred and disgust met the dull and harsh eyes of the girl he stared down, awaiting an answer from her. "With all due respect Black I'm currently busy" despite the two seeming to hate each other's guts, they always still acted formal with each other, years of being raised by pure blood families leaving its mark on the two teens."Yes well it's a very urgent matter Y/n" at the use of her first name she sighed and stood from her seat next to Lily, Sirius had only ever seemed to use her first name when he was beyond angry at her "i'll be back soon Lily" the girl just smiled and nodded joining the conversation with the rest of the marauders as Sirius dragged her away. Remus noticed the tight grip his friend had on the girl's wrist, he felt a tinge of worry creeping up on him, though he seemed to be the only one who noticed, not even Lily had noticed how Sirius pulled away the girl she was just talking to a second ago. Remus knew he was overly perceptive sometimes to his own detriment, so he softly interrupted the group's chatter with the excuse of going to the bathroom. Only to follow the two teens who had just left, stopping just before turning the corner peeking over slightly to see the people he was looking for.

Sirius had cornered Y/n against the wall, not wanting to let her leave until he spoke to her "do you seriously have to wear that stupid ring everywhere" he scoffed down at her, disgust clear in his voice. The Slytherin rolled her eyes at the boy "my parents wanted me to, it's not like I could say no to them, you know what will happen if Regulus finds out you're not wearing yours, do you really want your parents to find out" it was now Sirius's turn to roll his eyes "that doesn't mean you have to flaunt it around and keep reminding me of it" the girls face morphed from slightly irritated to furious "Excuse me! You think I'm flaunting it, as if I ever wanted this, as if I like this any more than you do!" Her voice kept rising in octaves as she yelled at the boy in front of her. "All I'm saying is you seem far too comfortable wearing that to be too upset about it" he leaned down into her face, it was clear to Y/n he was trying to intimidate her, there was a pause of silence before a loud slap rang out in the empty corridor they had found themselves in. Sirius's hand shooting up to hold his now reddening and sore face "you prick! Stop speaking to me like that, as if you know anything about me, it's like you think it's my life's dream to be betrothed and bear children to some moronic teenage boy I hate, simply to uphold our stupid pure-blood lineage!" Sirius was too stunned to speak, he didn't know if it was because of the slap, the angry words the usually quiet girl had yelled at him, or the tears that were now violently streaming down her face. Y/n turned away from him, face red and hot from her anger and tears, in doing so she had locked eyes with none other than Remus Lupin who was standing at the end of the corridor in shock only slightly out of view, both their eyes widening as their eyes locked. Y/n letting out a shocked gasp had alerted Sirius, whose head shot over to look at Remus, the tall Werewolf looking between the two, a slight bit of fear etched on his face at being caught. He looked down "sorry, I didn't mean to overhear anything, I was just worried about you" he didn't say who exactly he was talking about, eyes locking onto the floor. Though Remus himself didn't know who he was talking about either, only looking up when he heard the sudden movement of feet, watching as Y/n shoved Sirius away from her. Finally being freed from against the wall, she took off in the other direction, unable to contain her violent sobbing. Remus looked awkwardly at Sirius as he slowly made his way over, the taller boy staying still in his spot "you can't tell the others about this, can you promise me that Moony?" Remus seemed shocked, while he looked at Sirius. He seemed so vulnerable and scared, almost weak even as a few tears leaked down his face "I- I promise… I won't tell anyone anything" he gently put his hand on Sirius's shoulder. Said boy leaned into the touch of his friend, he sniffled slight before speaking "thank you Remus"

[clowningaroundmars]

heeyyy yaaalllll

so i was thinking to myself, i love punkflower. i really do.

what if there was a hobie in miles' universe and he didnt have to do the whole long distance relationship across dimensions thing, though? just keep his lil secret crush on spiderpunk a secret and keep it pushing, only to literally bump into his own hobie brown in 1610 one day?

wouldnt that be cool, guys?

wouldnt it? :)

wouldnt :) it :) be :) so :) cool? :) and so cute too?

:)

update: >part 2 here<

Miles was late.

It was his first day back, the very beginning of his junior year at Visions Academy and he was late. God damn.

His parents were really gonna kill him this time, no doubt about it. There weren't even any good Spiderman excuses he could use to weasel his way out of getting into trouble this time! He'd just have to cross his fingers and pray that his chemistry teacher for this year wasn't a total hardass like last year's English teacher.

Maybe he could make up some dumb excuse this time, try to wriggle his way into the professor's good graces with some blatant lie. Anyways, whose dumb idea was it to put him in a class so damn far from the entrance doors so early in the mor--

BRRRRRRING!

Miles tore around a corner just as the final bell rang throughout the mostly-empty hallways, inciting panic in his chest and making him nearly launch himself down another hallway just to get to his class.

In his haste, he nearly knocked over a very tall and very... familiar looking person that happened to be in Miles' trajectory. Luckily, bodies didn't end up colliding but the shock of having a person fly so quickly into their line of sight shocked the both of them into skidding to a sudden stop.

The tall person ended up dropping a textbook and what seemed like an enormous packet of papers, because sheets scattered absolutely everywhere, almost like snow.

Ugh. Of course.

They both stared down at the mess in the middle of the hallway floor for a beat.

Then, Miles exhaled a laugh, shaking his head.

"Aw man, I-I'm sorry! I just uh... here, lemme just--"

They both bent down to quickly scoop up the papers as Miles stuttered and spoke a hundred miles a minute, trying to apologize for the heart-stopping scare he caused. Just as Miles shuffled the papers together in his hands, he finally looked up at the unlucky student he almost football-tackled first thing in the morning... and nearly dropped the papers onto the floor again.

Kneeled right in front of him with papers and a textbook tucked under a skinny arm, long fingers nervously plucking up what was left of the rest of the packet, was none other than... Hobie Brown.

Oh. God.

This Hobie didn't seem to be Miles' Hobie, though.

(Miles' temperature rose a bit as he quickly thought: wait, my Hobie? That's not right, either.)

Instead of large freeform locs that tapered off like wicks, he was sporting long uniform locs that were piled up high in a loose ponytail on his head, most likely due to the school policy that stated boys needed to have hair above the nape of their neck. Miles kinda wondered about that policy, if he ever decided to grow out his hair; would pulling his hair up be enough? Or would they police his hair length and force him to cut it all off?

Well, turns out the answer was literally right in front of him. Another shock to the system right after the first one.

That was Miles' excuse, really. It was just so dang early in the morning and he really really wasn't thinking when he opened his mouth and basically shouted "Hobie?!"

It honest to god sounded like it echoed in the hallway.

He slapped a hand over his mouth, immediately chastising himself for the stupid mistake he made, mentally kicking himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! He wasn't supposed to know this guy obviously, they hadn't even met in their dimension yet!

Hobie, for his part, didn't seem perturbed by this at all though. He took the papers from Miles' hands and straightened himself back up to his full height, offering a hand so that Miles could stand up too.

He shrugged shyly and hid behind a couple locs that happened to fall back into his face, holding the books and papers closer to his chest.

"Uhmmn yeah, sorry. I-I'm runnin' late to my first class so I can't really give any autographs right now. Maybe later... if we see each other, ok?"

Miles blinked owlishly. Did he just say... autographs?

And wait a minute... was this Hobie... American?

Miles' poor little sleep-deprived mind was being blown again and again. He really didn't know if he was ever going to recover from this.

Hobie started to back up and walk away so Miles held his hands up to stop him. "Wait wait wait, autographs? I'm not uh-- sorry, this is weird," he laughed, rubbing his neck. "Nah, man. That's cool. I don't really want any autographs. Are you uh-- are you famous, actually?"

It was this Hobie's turn to blink owlishly now, hesitating a bit. A non-pierced eyebrow was raised as he said, "I... I kinda am...?"

He turned and pointed out the giant window of the hallway that they happened to be standing by, and Miles craned his neck to peer outside.

It smacked him right in the face once his eyes landed on it: a giant billboard fixed atop a neighboring building that depicted Hobie Brown in a luxurious-looking perfume ad. He sported the same locs as he did in real life, wearing shiny-looking makeup and giving the viewer the fiercest, smokiest look Miles has ever seen from a model in a hot minute. He was clutching deep purple satin, wrapped in it, basking in it. A single perfume bottle with a deep purple bow on the neck was photoshopped next to him, matching the overall vibe of the ad.

Miles was rooted to the spot, absolutely gobsmacked. How in the world did he miss that?!

Distantly, a small echo of a conversation he had in what seemed like a lifetime ago floated up from a memory. "I was briefly a runway model" pulsed in his neural pathways for a quick second.

Slowly, the gears started turning in his head. Slowly, he turned back to his dimension's Hobie Brown, who was giving him a strange sort of look.

Miles awkwardly tried to gather himself up, waving his hands around as he struggled for a non-weird explanation to his very weird behavior.

"I-I mean-- ahahaha! Yeah I mean, obviously you're famous! I was just y'know-- playin' with you. Pulling your leg and all that, I guess... heh."

The strange dubious look on Hobie's face didn't budge. "...Right."

Miles coughed conspicuously, trying to change the subject. "But uh yeah, haven't seen you around this school much then! Are you... you in a different grade than me or...?"

The corner of Hobie's mouth twitched suddenly, and for a split second Miles wondered if he said something wrong.

But then Hobie chuckled a bit. "No, I don't think so? This is my first day here. Like... ever. So I'm not really surprised you haven't seen me before. I just transferred over."

Miles practically sighed in relief and nodded, hands in his pockets. "Right! Right, very cool. Welcome to Visions then, I guess. Uh... I'm Miles! Miles Morales. Nice to meet ya!"

He goofily stuck a hand out, which Hobie actually accepted. They shook hands for a second, and then Miles was suddenly taken aback by how cold his hand was against his own skin. It was a definite contrast to the warm and lanky body he remembered practically draped across his own, back in Mumbattan.

He forced those particular memories away for now.

This Hobie was smiling down at him, sad eyes set inside a seemingly genuine expression of fondness. "Cool. I'm Hobie. But, uh, it seems like you already knew that, so."

"Aha, yeah yeah! It just-- honestly it's just the shock of, uh, running into a major celeb in the middle of my school that really got to me, I think. Sorry. I probably look like a total weirdo right now!"

Hobie shook his head, and Miles took the opportunity to really study this guy now that the shock was over and the vibe was more chill. This Hobie was just as long and lanky as the punk anarchist Miles was already well acquainted with, but he held himself completely differently. Where Spider-Hobie was all confident strut and careless swagger, this Hobie seemed to be all reserved grace and... sadness? He definitely reminded Miles of a willow tree drooping down into a lake, beautiful but tragic at the same time.

Okay Miles, get it together, he thought, stop thinking this guy is beautiful. I mean, he is beautiful yeah... but c'mon man, focus!

Hobie's non-pierced lips were moving now, finishing a sentence that Miles most definitely did not catch.

Then, Hobie looked at him expectantly.

Oh shit. He just asked a question didn't he? Fuck.

"Uh, sorry... one more time?" Miles grinned as wide as he could, apologetic. Nice going, Morales, the humorless voice in his head chimed in. Definitely not convincing this guy you're an alien from outer space or anything!

Hobie huffed a laugh and cleared his throat. "Sorry, my fault. Sometimes I mumble and... yeah. Mom says I need to work on that," he sighed, then continued, "I was just wondering if you knew where room 301 was?"

Miles nearly jumped with the force of the realization that just hit him.

"301? Mr. Moriarty's class?"

"Y-yeah, that's the one," Hobie smiled, twirling a loc on one finger and tugging it a bit. Then he tucked it back behind his ear. "I'm actually so lost it's not even funny, I'm godawful at directions and like, navigating. I've been looking for it for like 20 minutes now--"

"That's where my first class is too! AP chem!"

Hobie seemed to brighten up a bit at that, straightening his posture up from his own self-conscious hunch. "Oh cool! We should probably get going then, if we don't wanna be more late than we already are."

Without thinking, Miles places a hand on Hobie's shoulder and steers them both towards a classroom right at the end of the hallway they were in.

"Of course, right this way! Pretty lucky you ran into me, huh? I can help you find your other classes later on if you want, too."

For the first time since nearly crashing into him, Miles looked up at Hobie and saw genuine happiness in his eyes as they grinned at each other and walked down the hall together.

"...Yeah," Hobie said, nodding slowly. "Yeah that'd be pretty cool. Thanks!"

♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

Their chemistry teacher ended up not being a total hardass after all! Especially when Miles rolled up with none other than Famous Model Hobie in tow, immediately causing a ripple of whispers amongst the students sat at their desks.

Mr. Moriarty was a short and stumpy old man with a kind face and a severely receding hairline. He took one look at Hobie after squinting at his attendance sheet, accepted Miles' quick explanation that they were late because Hobie's minty fresh enrollment got him all lost in these maze-like hallways, and excused their tardiness with a wave of a hand.

"It's the first day and you were very kind to help a new student out, Mr. Morales. You're both excused for today, but try not to make a habit of it, alright?"

Miles bobbed his head as he picked his way past rows of desks. "Absolutely, sir. No problem at all. Thanks a bunch!"

Hobie stuck close to him, and smiled a bit as the only two desks left empty in the whole room happened to be right next to each other, right up in the back of the class. Nice.

They took their seats and exchanged a couple of glances as they pulled out their notebooks, barely listening to their professor's quick introduction and class syllabus. Well, Miles was barely listening, anyways. He was too caught up in the euphoria of running into a dimensional variant of one of his friends, in Visions Academy no less! His mind started to wander a bit. Did a 1610 Gwen exist too? a 1610 Pavitr? Were they also here at Visions? And what was with these random stares he and Hobie were getting from their fellow classmates right now?

Every now and then a student's head would swivel back to glance in their direction, awestruck looks evident on their faces.

How famous was Hobie anyway?

Of course, there was that giant billboard conveniently placed within view of the school's back hallways near a busy intersection, but Miles really started to think. He sneakily pulled out his phone and swiped down to the lowest brightness he could in case the classroom's fluorescent lighting wasn't enough to hide the phone screen's own light.

He kept his face straight forward, eyes flicking to and from his typing that he was trying to conceal behind the student sitting in front of him. He typed Hobie Brown model, Hobie Brown perfume ad, Hobie Brown supermodel, getting absolutely nothing every single time. Well, nothing that looked like the Hobie Brown sitting next to him, who happened to be dutifully scribbling down some notes in his notebook. Miles looked down at his own empty sheet of paper and quickly copied his new friend, whipping out a pencil and hurrying to catch up with the lecture on the whiteboard before the professor moved on.

Groan. What gives? Was Hobie this super accomplished, totally famous supermodel or not? Maybe he wasn't on social media, oddly enough. Maybe he just started an illustrious career and happened to be famous only in Brooklyn right now? No, that didn't make sense. If he was some small-time influencer or whatever, people would not be asking for autographs so often that Hobie would just automatically assume anyone who recognized him wanted one. And the looks on these other kids' faces convinced Miles that... maybe something was missing. Maybe he's just not searching up the right terms?

Agh, if only Spiderman business didn't keep him totally detached from reality sometimes. He really felt like he and the rest of the world were on totally different planets. If he had any friends besides Ganke, he probably would've heard about Hobie by now.

He bit his lip in concentration, trying to multitask between forming theories and keeping up with the lesson in the front of the classroom.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a pair of eyes staring straight at him that didn't belong to the other classmates he barely even knew. He glanced over at Hobie, who quickly looked away.

Was that... an embarrassed look on his face just now? Miles scratched at his jaw a bit, more confused than before.

That was weird. Whatever. Anyways...

Before long, class was over and the bell rang. Miles and Hobie both meandered slowly up to the door and hung around the outside, leaning against the wall as they compared schedules before they had to make their way to their next class.

"Dang," Miles lamented, clutching his own schedule and moving to slot it into the cover of his binder. "Looks like we don't share any more classes besides 1st period..."

Hobie stopped his hand and squinted at the sheet again, glancing back at his own. "Uhmm... nah, actually. I think we might have 6th period together? Right after lunch."

"Do we share a lunch period too, actually?" Miles asked excitedly.

Hobie made a small noise of triumph, a smile playing over his lips. "Yeah! 1st, lunch and then 6th. Okay. Better than nothing, right?"

Miles chuckled, shoving his schedule into the plastic and tucking it under his arm. "Definitely. We can eat together at the cafeteria if you want! I'll walk you to your next class though, since it's basically right around the corner."

Hobie shrugged his own backpack back onto his shoulder and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. His eyes were cast downwards as he grinned at the floor and said, "yeah, if you don't mind... that'd be pretty cool."

This guy sure does like the word cool, Miles thought, and away to Hobie's next class they both went. They both ignored the various whispers and stares in their direction. Miles was already used to it by now.

They walked together amiably, in near lockstep for a little while before Hobie finally spoke up again.

"... So... if you don't mind me asking... why are you so nice to me if you didn't know I was famous, then?"

It was an innocent enough question, but it kinda caught Miles off guard nonetheless.

He laughed nervously. "Uhh ahaha, whaddya mean? I did know you were famous! I just... y'know my brain doesn't work the best real early in the morning. I'm, uh. Sometimes I can be pretty weird, if you haven't noticed by now."

Hobie nodded slowly, digesting this information for a bit. "Yeah, you did recognize me in the first place, I guess. It's just weird, you're like... the first person I met that doesn't look at me like I'm made out of solid gold, though. That's all..."

They exchanged glances again, and Miles' brain was working into overdrive, thinking of an appropriate response.

Before he could open his mouth, they finally reached their destination and Hobie bumped Miles' shoulder with his arm, smiling.

"So, thanks. For, uh... this. All this."

Miles raised a brow at him. "Oh yeah, this is nothing. I just walked you over to your next class, no biggie. My class is right over here anyways, so--"

Hobie laughed and shook his head, the expression lighting up his facial features unlike anything Miles has seen on that face yet.

"No, Miles. Not just this. I mean, like..." Hobie dipped his head, a bashful sort of move. "I mean, like, being nice to me. Like forreal. I really appreciate this."

They looked at each other for a moment, something real warm growing in Miles' chest all of a sudden, something... familiar.

He was just about to casually brush the gratitude off a second time with a dorky quip, before some girl's screechy voice interrupted their private little moment out of nowhere. It honestly startled them both, and the nice warm atmosphere dissipated immediately.

"Oh. My. GOD!! Is that Hobie Jones? Like actually?!"

She giggled and bounded up to them, blatantly ignoring Miles to insert herself between them and crowd into Hobie's space. She coquettishly asked for a selfie with him, promising to tag him on social media. The sudden commotion unfortunately attracted some other students who then took their cue to also bother Hobie for autographs, selfies, throwing compliments left and right.

Miles backed up out of the crowd, eyes still on Hobie as he watched the poor guy metaphorically slip on a mask, the very same that Miles saw when they first met not 2 hours ago. It was a sad, detached sort of look, and Hobie was forced to hunch in on himself to meet his fellow students' heights as they snapped selfie after selfie. His lips formed a smile all the while. His eyes did not.

A pang of sympathy hit Miles as he slowly turned away and made his way down to his own classroom without so much as a goodbye. He shrugged to himself, shaking his head. Yeah, he knew how that felt, just trying to mind your own business and live your life, do what you have to do-- and being stopped by nearly every living being within a 50 ft radius wanting their photo ops and their babies kissed.

Miles smiled to himself as he shouldered his way past other students and sauntered into his class, right on time. The bell rang as he reached his desk, and he pulled out another notebook out of his bag before the realization finally hit him with the force of a truck.

Wait... Hobie JONES?!

Miles quickly glanced around at his surroundings and mentally kicked himself yet again for choosing a seat so close to the teacher's desk, almost right up at the front. Damnit!

But the teacher wasn't in the classroom just yet, most likely making a quick run down to the printer down the hall to make copies of the class syllabus or something.

Okay, Morales. Gotta be quick.

He hastily pulled out his phone yet again, one eye on the door. He quickly typed in Hobie Jones model in his browser's search box, letting out a breath as search results loaded up and gave him exactly what he was looking for this entire time.

Bingo.

Hobie's face popped up in the image search previews, all sorts of cool and striking photoshoots lit up in all kinds of different ways. And the very first link at the top of the page? Hobie's own Flickstagram.

With a shaky hand, Miles tapped the link and impatiently waited for it to load, for his phone to get with the program and just open the damn app already. He kept glancing every so often at the door yet again, praying that the printer or copier-- or whatever-the-hell that was keeping the professor away from the class-- would keep them away for just a second longer.

He finally cast his gaze back down onto his own Flickstagram app and his heart nearly dropped out of his chest.

At the top, right next to Hobie's own smoldering profile picture was his username: hobiemjones

hobiemjones... hobie m jones. Hobie M. Jones.

M.J.

Miles exhaled again and tucked his phone away in shock just as the classroom door opened yet again and all the students quieted down. This class's teacher made their way over to their desk, piles of papers in hand. They started to pass them out to the students in the front row, introducing themself and then going over the usual attendance policies.

Miles accepted the syllabus sheets with trembling hands, turning to pass them over his shoulder once he got his own, his mind running a hundred miles a minute.

Peter talked nonstop about his wife, whenever he managed to stop talking about his baby, that is. It was always MJ this, MJ that. Flashes of a middle-aged man staring forlornly at a picture of his then-ex wife-- grieving the one who got away-- raced across his mind's eye. His universe's own MJ standing at a podium, strong but deeply hurt as she addressed all of Brooklyn after Spiderman's funeral.

"She wanted kids and I... just wasn't ready," echoed over and over in Miles' mind. Of course, they're together now. But the way Peter talked about his divorce... oh god.

Wait... was Miles ready for kids? Were he and Hobie going to have a messy on-and-off again relationship that ended up with them having to care for a spider-baby just like Mayday?! Maybe even multiple spider-babies?!?!?

Miles loosened his tie a bit, sweating profusely.

The fact that neither Hobie nor Miles were equipped with the parts to make a baby together flew right over his head. No... instead, his mind skipped straight to marriage, messy emotional fights and inevitable breakups. How was he gonna juggle school, work, Spiderman stuff and a relationship all at once?!

Without realizing, Miles started hyperventilating.

No no no no no, cool it Miles. COOL IT. Don't be weird. Miles mentally slapped himself and tried to even out his breathing as he leaned back in his seat and wiped some sweat off his brow.

He just proved to Miguel O' Hara and the entire multiverse this past spring that he can do his own thing, canon events be damned. Miles Morales was no victim to fate. Maybe all of the other spider-people had their own MJs. But maybe in this universe, MJ and Spiderman were... just friends. Good friends! ...Yeah, yeah, just friends...

The idea floated around in Miles' head throughout the entire rest of the class, but it didn't really make the tightness in his chest loosen up any at all.

Once the bell rang again and everyone started packing their things up, Miles dawdled a bit by the door, fumbling with his phone as his classmates filed out of the room. If he was late enough, maybe he'd completely miss Hobie in the hallways and not have to see him at all. Miles double-checked, triple-checked his schedule again and again, mapping out an eventual escape route through the halls in case Hobie's path did intercept Miles'.

God, Miles thought ruefully, checking the hour on his phone for the 15th time in a row and smiling awkwardly at his teacher's questioning glance. You're being so fucking weird about this right now!

The rational part of his brain kicked in and presented a quick slideshow of other calmer, more reasonable explanations as to why he really shouldn't be avoiding his new friend like the plague all of a sudden.

1. Hobie probably doesn't and won't like me, it stated. There is literally no proof that Hobie Jones is even into guys. Or me, Miles Morales.

2. Even if Hobie Jones is into guys-- or me, Miles Morales-- that does not mean the endgame is automatically marriage. No sir, no proof of that at all!

3. Canon events were officially disproven. Kinda. Mostly. Sort of?

C'mon, bro. Just man up and get out there. You're gonna be late for the next class soon anyways.

Right. He inhaled deeply and steeled himself.

"Okay well, uh. Have a nice day Mx. Gonzalez! See ya... tomorrow." Miles cringed inwardly at how lame that sounded, but his teacher didn't seem to notice as they bid him a nice day as well.

With his heart in his stomach, Miles slowly made his way into the hallway and started walking at a brisk pace, keeping his eyeline straight in front of him, trying to reach his next class on the floor below quickly but manageably. It was when he reached the stairs that his heart sank even lower.

Hobie was standing right next to the stairwell, glaring at the school map placed on the wall off to the left, fingertips on his chin as he mumbled to himself. He was glancing up and down between the map and his schedule in his hand, clearly befuddled.

Damn, he really is bad at navigating, Miles mused, once he recovered.

But as luck would have it, tragedy struck right then. Miles being pretty much the only other kid in the hallway attracted Hobie's attention, and even though Miles' feet kept him moving, he almost tripped on air once Hobie perked up upon seeing him.

"Miles!" Hobie grinned and waved him over, clearly happy to see him.

Oh noooo. Miles was not as happy to see him.

Without thinking, he launched himself down the flight of stairs, hopping over the railing and landing loudly on the 1st floor. Once steady, he basically sprinted over to his 3rd period class, completely missing the way Hobie's sunny grin slowly disappeared and his hand lowered back down to his side.

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Lunchtime came and went. Miles ate his packed lunch at his usual perch on top of the school building, where he always hid while trying to avoid the rest of the student body. He managed to pick a good spot away from prying eyes, and it never failed him.

Hobie ate alone, at a table tucked into the corner of the cafeteria despite being invited to several other tables. He sat and chewed sadly, locs back in front of his eyes, posture hunched over and defeated.

6th period came and went. Miles purposefully kept his gaze averted as Hobie walked in 5 minutes late. They sat at opposite ends of the room, never acknowledging each other's existence.

The school day ended and Miles made his way back to the dorms, sighing with relief once he glanced out the window and saw giant rainclouds rolling in over the horizon. Man, was he glad he got to bunk up on campus with his best friend! He greeted Ganke, kicked off his shoes and climbed up onto his bunkbed, laying back with a sigh. Maybe tomorrow he'd confront Hobie about his erratic behavior and apologize. Maybe.

But that was a problem for future Miles...

♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

Outside, the rain started falling fast and hard.

Outside, Hobie M. Jones waited miserably by the curb with an umbrella in hand, getting drenched by the water nonetheless. He checked his phone for the 15th time and sniffled angrily, pocketing it and gripping onto his umbrella handle.

Late. Again.

His mother was late to pick him up, as usual.

He swiped at a tear rolling down his cheek and finally loosened his ponytail, letting his locs fall all around his face.

Once she arrived, his mother was going to inevitably ask him how his day was, look only slightly concerned about his angry tears and ask if he made any new friends anyways, despite knowing the answer.

No, mom, Hobie would say as he kept his eyes glued to the car window.

No. I didn't make any friends.

[oldiesstationlover11607]

hey, could you write a pencey prep!frank x girly!reader oneshot? i feel like their dynamic would be so cute

Gigs- Pencey Prep!Frank Iero x Girly!Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1264

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I've got a lot going on atm haha. I love Pencey era Frank so much tho, he's so cute and such a baby hehehe

I was never one to go to local gigs–which was why it was weird to have found myself in a small, sweaty, moist basement in Belleville, New Jersey. Frank had managed to drag me out to one of his gigs with Pencey, something I’d sworn I’d never do. I loved Frank and he was great but when it came to our choices in music (and aesthetics) we definitely were different people. 

The basement smelled like stale beer, damp concrete, and a faint metallic tang from the ancient pipes snaking across the ceiling. People were packed tightly, shoulder to shoulder, dressed in a range of outfits that could only collectively be described as alternative–faded band tees, ripped jeans, studded belts, and more eyeliner than I thought a human could wear. It wasn’t exactly my scene. My floral sundress and white and pink sneakers felt painfully out of place amidst the sea of black and spikes. 

Frank, on the other hand, thrived here. He stood by my side, practically buzzing with excitement, his eyes shining under the dim, flickering light. His guitar case was slung over his back, and he kept nervously adjusting his grip on it. His band’s name was scrawled on the case in Sharpie—Pencey Prep—surrounded by stickers and doodles that screamed teenage rebellion.

“You’re gonna love this,” he said, his voice barely audible over the din of people talking, amps buzzing, and someone’s band warming up with an out-of-tune rendition of a Ramones song. “Trust me, okay?”

I forced a smile and nodded. Trust him? Sure. Love this? Unlikely.

He kissed my temple, the gesture sweet and grounding. It was moments like these that reminded me why I adored him, even if we were from totally different planets when it came to taste. I’d met him at school, where he’d teased me mercilessly about my love of reading while hiding his own love of literature. Despite our stark differences, we’d clicked, our banter evolving into something deeper and meaningful. He was my punk-rock prince, even if I was the farthest thing from a punk-rock princess.

“Okay, we’re on in like ten minutes,” Frank said, practically vibrating. He ran a hand through his mess of hair, shaking it out so it fell perfectly messy again. “You good here? You wanna stand closer to the stage or hang back?”

I looked toward the stage—if you could call it that. It was more like a slightly raised platform barely big enough to hold a drum kit and a couple of amps. People were already clustering around it, jostling for a good spot. The thought of being crushed in the middle of that gave me instant anxiety.

“I’ll hang back,” I said, tugging on the hem of my dress. “But I’ll be watching. Promise.”

Frank’s grin could’ve powered the entire building. “Cool. I’ll find you after. I love ya.”

With that, he darted off toward his bandmates, leaving me to navigate the crowd. I edged toward the back wall, finding a semi-clear spot near a stack of empty milk crates. I leaned against the wall, trying to blend into the shadows. It wasn’t long before the house lights dimmed and someone screamed, “PENCEY PREP!”

The crowd erupted into cheers as the band took the stage. Frank slung his guitar over his shoulder and grabbed the mic. “What the fuck is up Belleville?” he shouted, his voice raspy and electric. The crowd responded with more screaming, and the energy in the room shifted.

The music started—a fast, raw, angry wall of sound that hit me square in the chest. Frank’s guitar snarled, his fingers moving with effortless precision. His bandmates matched his intensity, the drums pounding like a heartbeat, the bassline dark and driving. Frank looked like he belonged up there, his small frame commanding attention, every strum and shout full of purpose.

I wanted to focus on him, but the crowd was mesmerizing in its own way. People moved as one, a chaotic, sweating mass, jumping and thrashing to the music. Someone bumped into me, nearly knocking me over, and I decided maybe blending into the wall wasn’t the best idea. I climbed onto one of the milk crates to get a better view.

From my perch, I had a clear line of sight to Frank. He was in his element, grinning like a maniac as he sang backup vocals into the mic. His gaze swept over the crowd, and for a brief second, our eyes met. He winked at me before launching into a blistering solo. My heart fluttered despite the oppressive heat and noise.

It wasn’t my kind of music, sure, but seeing Frank like this… it was impossible not to get caught up in his energy. He was magnetic, pouring every ounce of himself into the performance. It was raw and messy and completely him.

By the end of their set, the basement felt like a sauna. My hair stuck to the back of my neck, and my makeup was probably melting off, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. The crowd roared as Pencey Prep played their final note, the feedback from the amps ringing out as they left the stage. Frank hopped down first, his guitar still slung over his shoulder, and immediately started weaving through the crowd toward me.

“Well?” he asked, breathless and grinning. He had sweat dripping down his face, his shirt clinging to his chest. He looked absolutely wrecked and completely happy. “What’d you think?”

“You were amazing,” I admitted. “Like, really amazing.”

His grin widened, and he leaned in to kiss me, uncaring that he was drenched in sweat. “Told you you’d love it.”

“Let’s not get carried away,” I teased. “I loved you. The music was… intense.”

Frank laughed, a deep, genuine sound that made my chest warm. “Fair enough. Come on, let’s get some air.”

He grabbed my hand and led me out of the basement, dodging people as we went. The cool night air hit me like a blessing as we stepped onto the sidewalk. I took a deep breath, feeling the sweat on my skin start to cool.

Frank pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes and lit one, exhaling a plume of smoke. “So, you’d come to another show, right?”

I gave him a sideways glance. “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s not a no,” he said, smirking as he nudged my shoulder.

“It’s not a yes either.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smiling. He took another drag of his cigarette and offered it to me, but I shook my head. He shrugged and leaned back against the brick wall, his free hand still holding mine.

“You really liked it?” he asked, softer this time. There was a vulnerability in his voice that caught me off guard.

“Yeah,” I said honestly. “You were incredible. I… I think I get it now. Why you love it so much.”

Frank’s expression softened, and he squeezed my hand. “That means a lot, you know. You being here.”

“Of course I’m here,” I said. “I love you. Even if your music is kind of a lot.”

He laughed again, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, grinning.

We stood there for a while, letting the night wrap around us. Frank finished his cigarette and stomped it out, pulling me closer. Despite the noise and chaos of the night, everything felt still and perfect in that moment. For all our differences, we fit together in a way that just worked.

Maybe gigs weren’t so bad after all.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[jscameron]

you’re a tour photographer, meaning that you take professional pictures of performers. you’re currently waiting outside of the venue in nashville, where you would be seeing THE DRIVER ERA. you were ready to meet rocky and ross, the excitement buzzing through your body. you take a picture of the venue that opens up in 3 hours for their concert.

word count: 1.1k

please be kind! this is not proofread!

“hey! you must be y/n!”, a sweet voice shouts from behind you. your turn around and see that it’s no other than ross lynch, his brother, rocky, next to him!

“no way! you’re ross and rocky! how did you guys know my name?”, you ask way too excitedly.

“well, you’re going to be taking concert photos, right? we have a list of everyone that’s allowed to come in and help us set up or interview or anything else like that.”, ross says.

“oh. yeah! i’ll be taking your pictures. do you mind if i take some now, while we have some time?”, you ask eagerly.

“sure! we don’t have to warm up for another hour, so we can definitely do that! how about we go on top of the roof? i think the lighting would be great, but you’re the photographer, what you say goes.”, ross says with a wink.

“you have a wonderful idea. let me steal you boys away!”, you say.

.

.

.

.

.

“stay just like that! the light is hitting you boys at just the right angle.”, you say, peeking through the camera and hitting the button to take ross’ and rocky’s picture. little did the boys know, you were taking individual headshots as well, with every pose you set them up for.

“oh! these are so good! and you boys are so sweet!”, you say.

“really? well, let’s see ‘em!”, ross says, snatching your camera from you.

“ross! no!! they’re not edited or anything! give it back!”, you say, worried he’s going to see the individual pictures.

“oh no, y/n, i don’t think so.”, he teases holding the camera above both of your heads now. “rocky, take this and run!”, he says to his brother.

“bet.”, rocky says, a devious smile on his face.

“no! wait!”, you say, but it was too late. the boys are playing a trick with you and rocky is long out of reach now.

“well, looks like rocky might take a picture of you and me now. smile and pose.”, ross says while grabbing you by your waist and pulling you close to him. he dips you down and tells you, “focus on me. you’re beautiful.” you blush, but oblige. you hear your camera flick with each picture rocky takes of you and ross.

“okay, ross and rocky. please give me my camera back, i think it’s almost time for you guys to get ready to warm up.”, you say, trying to get out of ross’ grip, but he won’t let go.

“rocky is heading that way now, but i want to stay here with you, y/n.”, ross says to you, still holding onto you.

“awe, ross”, you say, looking into his eyes.

the chemistry between you is crazy. you can tell you both want the same thing each other wants. your faces draw closer together and just when you think he’s about to kiss you, he stops.

“okay, kid. time for me to go warm up. come with.”, he says with a smirk on his lips, while leading you off of the roof.

“ugh! ross!”, you say, not letting go of his hand.

.

.

.

.

.

“how’s everyone doing tonight?!”, rocky asks the crowd at their sold out show. you stand behind the barrier and start taking pictures of the fans and the brothers. the crowd is going wild as they start to play their song “a kiss”. you start taking pictures of the boys and you can’t help but notice how much ross is interacting with you, even though he’s on stage. and you can’t help but crack a smile and follow his lead.

ross grabs you up on the stage and sets you to the side, he stares at you for what feels like forever, then touches your hands that hold your camera. he wants his picture taken. you shoot one. then, he grabs the camera off of your neck and takes a selfie with you.

“you got your phone?”, he asks you, while still performing. you take your phone out of your pocket and he takes it from you and takes another selfie of the two of you together, then he takes some pictures of his brother and the crowd, interacting with everyone. before handing your phone back, he takes a picture of you, taking a picture of him with your camera. once you lower your camera, he takes another picture of you. “absolutely beautiful.”, he says. he gives you a kiss on your cheek before continuing to perform. you’re blushing and you can’t stop feeling the tingles of electricity resonating where he kissed you.

.

.

.

.

.

after the boys’ performance, ross tells rocky he’s taking you out. “oh, you don’t have to do that, ross.”, you say, bashfully.

“sure i do! i want to. i want to get to know you more. you’re not getting rid of me easily.”, he says to you. he grabs you by your hand and leads you out of the tour bus and out into the town. you find a nearby diner that doesn’t look too busy this late at night and go in.

“how many is it tonight, sir?”, the hostess asks as you and ross come in.

“just us two, ma’am.”, ross says.

“perfect. right this way.”, she says, gesturing to follow her.

the hostess sits you both down across from each other. as soon as she leaves though, ross, comes over to your side and blocks you in the booth.

“so…y/n? how’d you like the show tonight?”, ross asks you, eagerly.

“i loved it! and i loved getting to know you guys tonight. i can’t wait to go with you boys on the rest of your tour!”, you say.

“perfect. i’m so glad you feel that way. i don’t know if i could let you go so easily.”, he says, gently placing his hand on top of yours.

“awe, ross.”, you say, leaning into him for a kiss.

“y/n?”, he asks after kissing you a couple more times in the booth.

“ross?”, you say back.

“will you be my girlfriend? i know we just only met, but i can’t help but feel this way about you.”, he asks you, shyly.

“ross, shut up.”, you say, laughing at him and kissing him again, sealing the deal that yes, you will be his girlfriend.

it was going to be a long tour, but you’re happy to have ross by your side. ❤️‍🔥

[frizzyanya]

Me: I only read happy stories, I don't really read angst

Also me: *favorite book of 2023 was ATYD* *read it like 3 times, currently re-reading*

And me again: *favorite book of 2024 is Heated Rivalry* *already read it 4 times, will read again*

Okay I maaaaaaybe do like angst as long as it's bracketed by the most devastatingly beautiful romance you've ever read.

[honora-antares]

Remus having a huge crush on Regulus but is discouraged by the close relationship he has with Severus, and so Sirius, being the good friend that he is, "takes one for the team" and befriends Severus to get him away from Regulus so that Remus could have a chance to at least speak with the bloke. Little does Sirius know he'll end up falling in love with Severus in the process 🫠🫠🫠

[ltsokaylove]

Star Shaped Scars

A Regulus Black x reader

Comfort, fluff, a good bit of angst.

TW! Mention of abuse and description of scars. Let me know if I missed anything! Stay safe loves~

:))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All dinner she had been awaiting her hangout with Regulus. The two usually met after dinner and talked out of sight at the astronomy tower, and she had been dying to see him since they hadn't met in private in about a week, and it had been a stressful week at that. It was the day after spring break ended, and her sixth year was only months from being over.

It always put her more on edge whenever Regulus had to go home to his parents. She hated the way he returned, colder and more distant each time. It broke her heart to see the toll his parents mistreatment took on him.

She practically inhaled her dinner before speedwalking up the numerous staircases to the astronomy tower. By the time she reaches the top she's like five minutes earlier than their usual meeting time. She stands leaning on the railing, the anticipation eating her up.

He arrives five minutes later than their usual time, appearing silently behind her. He hesitates, but she senses his presence and immediately launches herself into his arms, "Reg!".

He exhales wrapping his arms around her and making sure to not let her hit the ground. She runs her fingers through his hair clinging to him for dear life, "Are you okay?".

He just hums contentedly into her shoulder in response, as she loosens her grip so he can put her down. Her eyes look him over and scan his face of emotion, all she finds is slight happiness but hes otherwise closed off. "Come sit?"

He nods and they sit together behind the safety railings, shoulders touching. "How was your break?" he asks turning his gaze on her, his eyes travel over her face almost memorizing it.

She shrugs not looking at him, but at the sky, "It was alright, was yours...alright?"

He freezes, "A lot better than usual". His tone is final and dry.

"Oh Reg, baby," she sighs leaning into his side and taking his hand into hers. Her fingers graze over the skin of his wrist and hand and he visibly winces. She notices it out of her peripheral vision and looks down to his hand. Its covered in messy scars, most fresh. She gently raises his sleeve and he doesn't stop her he just sighs, defeated. She finds the word 'worthless' carved into his forearm just below his wrist. The only way she knows its not by his doing is the fact that its on his left forearm and that's his dominant hand, and the handwriting is too neat to have been done with his right hand.

She feels hot anger start to surge throughout her body, "Who-." her voice cracks, "Who did this to you?"

"My mother," he says bitterly but still crazily calm.

She digs through the satchel on the floor beside her, she didn't bother to take to her dorm before rushing here like her life depended on it. She almost giggles at the sight of her only band aids being my little pony but thinks better of it and continues looking for the scar ointment in her bag. She pulls it out and looks at him, "Can I patch you up?" she asks gently.

"You don't have to worry about it darling, I-"

"Please?" she says in that soft voice he can't resist. He turns his head away, she broke him.

"Alright, I'm just sorry you have to see this," his voice wavers.

"Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault". She gently rubs the scar ointment over the word on his forearm before kissing down his arm lightly. She smiles covering the word with the my little pony band aids from her bag.

The corners of his mouth quirks up, "What are those?"

She smiles innocently at him. "Band aids".

He rolls his eyes playfully, "Well I know that, I mean-"

"Shh baby, let me love you." she kisses the palm of his hand, up to his fingertips. "I hope you know your not worthless-"

"I do-" he cuts her off, looking at her lovingly, "I promise, you make me feel so loved darling". He kisses the side of her head.

"Does it hurt at all?"

He shakes his head, "Just burns a little, but that medicine definitely made a difference, thanks my love".

She smiles leaning onto his chest as she holds his hand at her side, "Anytime, I'm just glad we're back at school".

He studies the worried look on her face, "Stop worrying," he shifts so she can lean back onto him, and pulls her in between his legs so they can stargaze comfortably.

"Look there's you're constellation-"

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖Alpha, Beta (& Omega)

Rated: Explicit

Chapter Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2411

Pairing: Steve x Bucky

Tags: a/b/o, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, nobility/royalty au, alternate history, dom/sub elements, beta bucky, hurt/comfort, age gap, domestic discipline, spanking, head of household, wedding night, Edwardian time period, m/f/m poly marriage

Summary: To save House Barnes from scandalous ruin, James must agree to a contracted marriage, accepting Lord Senator Steven Rogers as his Alpha, Husband, and Headship.

To read the previous parts of this series first, go to the masterlist

5. A Wedding Night

This Chapter: He's never been so close to another person before, never felt so much skin against his own, a man's hard body pressing down on him, heavy and warm.

Steve’s in the bathroom, the water running as he performs his nightly routine, and Bucky stands by the end of the bed in his night clothes, wondering what he’s supposed to do.

Should he… should he undress? Be naked when Steve comes in the room? Should he get under the covers?

Bucky doesn’t know. He’s still quite buzzed from how much he drank downstairs, and it's making him feel a little willful, if he’s honest with himself. He’d chugged the last of his glass right before Steve’s eyes when they’d gotten to the bedroom and the alpha had told him to set it aside. Boldly, Bucky thinks that maybe he’ll be brave and push Steve down on the bed when he comes out of the bathroom, have his way with him. The thought makes him giggle where he stands.

“What are you laughing about?” Steve asks as he enters the room, suddenly right there.

Bucky tucks his lips in. “Mm, nothing.”

Steve gives him an exasperated look, though he’s still smiling a little. “Bucky, you’re drunk.”

“I was trying to get drunk,” Bucky agrees. “That’s why they serve alcohol at weddings in the first place; so everyone can pretend they’re happy.”

Steve’s face falls. He goes over and sits on the edge of the bed, gesturing for Bucky to come and stand in front of him. Bucky does, fitting himself into the vee that Steve’s legs make. Steve takes both of his hands in his, pulling his arms forward until the sleeves of his nightshirt ride up enough to show the wristbands. “You don’t ever have to pretend to be happy,” Steve tells him quietly. “If that’s not what you feel. But I promise I’ll try to make you happy if I can.”

Bucky stares, too drunk and scared to respond to that. He chews his lip and tries to think of something to say. When he comes up short, he decides to just kiss Steve instead, and he surges in to press their mouths together with little finesse.

Steve’s hands grab him at the waist, not pushing him away but holding him back so that they don’t topple back onto the mattress. One of his hands travels up to thread through Bucky’s hair, and he gains control over the kiss. He slows Bucky down, forces him to kiss lazy and slow, instead of fast and frenzied. He slips his tongue into the heat of his mouth and Bucky whines. Steve chuckles, pulling back and meeting his eyes. “Do you like it when I kiss you?” he asks.

Bucky grits his teeth. “That’s a stupid question.”

Steve arches an eyebrow. “I don’t think so.”

“Well it is.” Bucky steps back and, steeling himself, grabs hold of the fabric of his nightshirt. He yanks it up over his head, tossing it aside and standing naked before Steve for the first time. Before his husband. Bucky gulps, well-aware of Steve’s eyes on him. “I told you," he says, braced for possible rejection, for Steve to back up and stammer an apology, maybe investigate the feasibility of an annulment, once morning comes. "Well?" he sticks his chin out. "You still want me?”

Steve nods. His gaze is heavy on Bucky’s body, dragging up and down unashamedly. “Yeah, Buck. I do.” One of his hands slides between his own legs, palming himself through his nightshirt. Bucky stares, overwhelmed at the sight. “Come over here,” Steve says softly. “Come up on the bed.”

Bucky hurries to comply, glad to have something to do with himself other than stand in place under Steve’s continuing scrutiny. He scoots to the other side of the bed, turning so that he’s facing away from Steve—and so that his left side is tucked down against the bedding. He expects Steve to sidle up and spoon behind him, so he’s surprised when Steve pulls on his shoulder to turn him onto his back. He settles over him, between legs that Bucky hadn't even noticed he'd parted.

Steve has removed his nightshirt. He's naked, though there's not much chance to get a look at him. What Bucky can see like this has his belly swirling and his cock stirring with interest. "Steve," he whispers, overcome.

Steve dips down to kiss him—softly and carefully, just like at their wedding. It's such a tame and tender kiss, but Bucky whimpers into it anyway, because this is more than he's ever experienced. The sheer intimacy of it sends goosebumps down his arms. He's never been so close to another person before, never felt so much skin against his own, a man's hard body pressing down on him, heavy and warm. Bucky can feel Steve's erection pressing against his belly and he shivers, feeling like a ball of nerves. “I—” he gasps as Steve rolls his hips down experimentally. “Oh! Oh, that’s … oh.”

“Yeah?” Steve does it again. “That feel good, Sweetheart?”

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut as his cock jerks and hardens next to Steve’s. “Nngh, d-don’t call me that.”

Steve’s mouth crashes down on his, bruising and brief. “Open your eyes,” he tells him roughly. “Now, Bucky. I want you to look at me.”

Bucky does, blinking up at Steve and his golden hair, his soulful blue eyes. He shivers. “What?”

Steve's lips quirk and he gives another slow rock of his hips, watching Bucky's face. “How do you like it?” he asks.

Bucky freezes. “I … what?” For a long moment he doesn’t know what to say. Then, mortifyingly, he figures out that Steve’s referring to sexual positions, is asking Bucky what he prefers. Heat floods his face. “I just … I dunno,” he mumbles, trying to escape the alpha's scrutiny. “Whatever you want, I guess. Just ... please be careful? Don’t make it, ya know, hurt.”

Steve gets very still above him. His hips stop moving and he stares down. Bucky feels like Steve can read his thoughts, and it makes him want to squirm away. “Steeeve,” he whines, trying to push against Steve’s chest. “I told you: I don’t care. Just—"

“You’re a virgin,” Steve says—quietly, like he’s trying out he words. Bucky’s wide eyes must confirm it, because Steve huffs in realization. “Christ, Bucky. Why didn’t you say so?”

Bucky scowls up at him. “What the hell difference does it make?”

“Wait a minute ...” Steve frowns, thinking. “But, that night at the hotel … You were about to take that guy to your room.”

“Yeah, so what?”

Steve's eyes darken and he growls, fingers tightening on Bucky’s arms. “You were going to let some stranger take your virginity?!”

Bucky whimpers at Steve’s tone, but he juts his jaw out to compensate, defiant. “Yeah well so what if I was? It’s mine to give away.”

Steve makes a noise of utter frustration. He grinds his face into the pillow besides Bucky’s head, giving a muffled curse. When he pulls back, it’s to fix him with a fierce look. “It was yours to give away,” he corrects. “Not anymore. Now it’s mine.”

Bucky’s guts swoop in instinctive pleasure at the possessiveness in Steve's tone. “What’re you—hey!” He yelps as Steve pulls away, sits back on his heels, and shoves Bucky’s thighs up towards his stomach all in very short order. Bucky is blindsided by the movement, and before he can process what’s happening, Steve is laying down flat on the bed and stuffing his face between Bucky’s legs. Bucky’s eyes go wide as Steve's mouth closes over him. “Steve!”

He’s not sucking his cock, is the thing.

“Ohmygod, Steve, stop!”

Steve grunts and keeps doing what he’s doing, which is licking Bucky’s ass. Bucky wheezes as Steve's tongue flicks and slides all around his rim. “Oh fuck, what the fuck?” Bucky can’t decide whether he wants to kill Steve for doing this, or pull him back up his body and kiss him. He tosses his head against the pillow, panting and confused as hell as Steve just keeps fucking lapping at his hole, rubbing fingers against his taint and nudging his balls, making sparks of pleasure light up in his spine. Bucky alternates between cursing and shoving at Steve’s shoulders, and making mortifying sounds and hoisting his legs up to give him more room for what he’s doing.

What the fuck is he doing?? It’s so dirty, so wrong for Steve to put his mouth there. Bucky’s not omega. This isn't something Steve is supposed to do to him, he's sure of it, and yet it feels ... oh, it feels so good! Steve has switched to sucking at his rim, sucking and jabbing his tongue like he's trying to get inside of Bucky. Bucky sobs as another wave of shivery pleasure makes his cock throb and jerk. He shouldn’t enjoy this so much, he shouldn’t!

He winds up tossing his head and squeezing his eyes shut, groaning and cursing and fucking his ass onto Steve’s tongue. He grabs his cock and starts stroking himself, feeling half-sick from how desperate he’s acting, from what he’s letting Steve do to him. Fuck, but he can’t help it! Steve’s tongue against his asshole feels so teasing and good, his pulsing fingers only adding to it. With Bucky stroking himself off, it’s enough to push him over the edge, his climax hitting him as a wave of breathless pleasure, sharp and sweet. He cries out as he spills over his hand, hips bucking into his fist and ass grinding against Steve's face, trying to prolong the pleasure for as long as he can.

Eventually, it wanes, and by the time Bucky’s letting go of his cock, Steve is pulling back from between his legs, sitting up and meeting his eyes. Jesus fuck, but Steve’s eyes are dark. His chin is wet with spit, and Bucky can’t help the groan he looses at the sight.

Steve laughs, falling down to lie on top of him again. “Is that so?” he asks, self-satisfied. “Did you like that?”

Bucky tries to scoff, but he's still regaining his breath. “Why the hell …” he pants. “What the hell was that for?”

“What any sexual act is for," Steve says, dipping down to kiss him softly. He kisses his bottom lip, and then his chin, then begins placing a line of lazy kisses along his jaw. Behind the hinge of his jaw, just below his ear, he lets his tongue come out in a teasing flick, then sucks the skin until it elicits a moan. "Why?" he asks, "Do boys not talk amongst themselves in school anymore? Is that not something you'd heard about?"

Bucky swallows thickly. "Well yeah, I had. But not for—" his cheeks flame and he averts his eyes, squirming under Steve's weight. "I'm beta," he mutters.

"I noticed," Steve murmurs, amused. "Did you like it?”

“Yeah. But—”

“No buts,” Steve says. He pulls away from his neck and looks down at him. “That’s just one of a lot of ways I plan to make you feel good, if you let me.”

Bucky blushes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, Buck. You gonna let me do that?” He starts kissing along his jaw on the other side, making his way up to his ear and then down his neck. “Gonna let me make love to you?”

Bucky winces, partway because of the phrasing, and partway because Steve’s lips are skimming over the scars that trail up the left side of his neck. He's kissing over the cragged flesh that Bucky hates so much. “Steve,” he huffs, squirming. “Steve, stop, please.”

Steve freezes right away, his eyes shooting up. “What’s wrong?” he asks, wary, ready to pull away. “Bucky, I’m sorry. If you’re not ready we can—”

Bucky growls, frustrated at Steve’s tender handling of him. They aren't in love. He doesn’t want it to be tender. He just wants Steve to keep his mouth off of his damn scars. “It's nothing,” he says, turning over again so that he’s lying on his left side, lame left arm pressed against the bedcovers and hidden from sight. The room is lit only by the soft glow of a gas lamp, but Bucky still can’t bear the idea of the gnarled remains being seen, let alone kissed. “Just … like this,” he excuses, not wanting Steve to sense his dilemma. “You can fuck me like this.”

Steve is slow to respond, as if it’s on the tip of his tongue to refuse and make Bucky say more, but he doesn’t. He sinks down to lay right behind him, pulling Bucky back until he’s spooned fully against him: chest and thighs, ass in the cradle of Steve's pelvis, Steve's cock a hot weight against his cheeks. “Okay,” he says softly, kissing Bucky just behind his ear. “Okay, Sweetheart.”

Bucky grits his teeth at the name but doesn’t say anything. He grabs Steve’s hand and brings it around his belly and down to his cock. “Get me hard again,” he murmurs.

Steve makes a sound of approval, some of his cautious scent pushed away by the heavier scent of arousal. He nuzzles Bucky’s neck and touches Bucky's still wet cock. When he feels that it's already responding and firming up again, he chuckles against his shoulder. "Oh to be eighteen. Christ, kid."

Bucky grunts moodily, and he feels Steve place a quick kiss of apology on his shoulder, feels his fingers wrap around his cock and give a gentle tug. Bucky sighs, trying to focus on the pleasure of it and forget about everything else; about this marriage and the fact that he’s just signed his life away to the man behind him. He just focuses on the way Steve’s hips are pulsing gently, rubbing his big cock against the swell of his ass. He focuses on Steve’s breath against his neck, his big body sealed against his, the fingers curling over his cock and stroking him off. Bucky grows quickly under Steve’s attention, and soon he’s breathing heavily again, cock fully hard and hips humping into the touch. “Oh,” he breathes, well and truly distracted now that the pleasure’s ratcheted up again. “Oh, please.”

Steve chuckles darkly behind him, turned-on and satisfied. “You’re so responsive, Buck.” He licks the side of his neck, nipping him there. “You gonna cum twice for me?”

Bucky nods fast against the pillow. “Yeah. Yes.”

Steve hums, pleased. “Good. I want to see you feeling good, you know that?” He pets a tender hand through Bucky’s hair, the other that he has on his cock continuing its maddening pace.

Bucky grunts, pressing his face into the pillow, trying to escape Steve’s words and his gentle touch. “More,” he begs, though he tries to make it a demand. “Steve, more, please.”

Steve is moving behind him, moving away and then returning and plastering himself along the back of Bucky’s body all over again. Bucky whines in frustration, but then Steve’s shoving a hand between his legs, wet with slick and getting it all over Bucky’s inner thighs. Bucky gasps at the feeling. “Shh,” Steve murmurs, slotting his cock into the wet space between his legs and then reaching around with his slicked hand to pick back up where he left off with stroking his cock.

It feels ten times more luxurious with the slick coating his hand, and Bucky moans at the first, tight glide he gives him. "Ohhn ..."

“S’okay, I gotcha Sweetheart.”

Bucky groans, bleary and blissed-out and too in his head to think of a way to tell Steve to stop being so gentle and to stop calling him that. He just stares down at the sight of Steve’s big hand working his cock in firm strokes, and further down; to Steve’s swollen cockhead pushing through his legs on every thrust. It’s lewd and it’s gorgeous, and Bucky only has to watch it for a few short moments before his balls are pulling tight and he’s coming all over again with a shout.

Steve works him through it, then lets go of his cock and grabs his hips instead, fingers digging in bruisingly as he fucks the space between his thighs hard and fast. His breath gets incredibly harsh against Bucky’s neck, and then he’s groaning like he’s been punched, pulsing his hips in tight little motions and coming buckets. Bucky stares down at it, rapt. So that's how much alphas really come.

Steve collapses against him, cock still buried between his thighs. Bucky makes to move, but Steve growls and holds him fast, clearly not allowing it. Bucky grunts, unable to find it in himself to fight back. He’d lose, anyhow. So he just lies there and lets Steve calm down, lets him grumble his contented alpha sounds, lick and scent at his neck, keep his knot buried between his thighs. Bucky intends to get up eventually. Go into the bathroom and clean up, maybe. But instead he falls asleep.

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[dollypopup]

i can't wait to see Penelope being in love on main w/ Colin at any and every given moment in S3

-coming to him with her concerns to hear his opinions. listening to him when he comes to her. all the razor sharp, witty banter they share

-encouraging and hyping up his writing and his interests. asking to read more of his work. just going full gush fest

-standing up for her bb boi when someone tries to make a rude comment about him (yes, including his family)

-all the squee scenes when he's being a total babe (he's a babe all the time, perpetual levels of squee)

-recognizing that her fantasy of Colin is nothing on the reality of him and telling him as much. she loves his imperfect self so much

-reaching for him whenever she wants so she can hold his hand or rub his back or go in for a snuggly hug

-telling him she's happiest when she's with him and that she likes him as a person (the 'i like you' 'i like you, too' convo is too near and dear to my heart)

-aaaaaaall the love language validations. extra touchy all the time. finding (and making up) excuses to spend more time with him. offering to edit his journals. remembering his favorite foods. telling him what she loves about him. bringing him snippets of her writing for him to read.

-i just need to see Pen love up on Colin, he deserves it

[aanoia]

I Don't Know Who You're Talking About

Remus Lupin x reader words; 2817 warnings; angst, blood, sad, murder, the usual part two this is so cutesy (NOT!) I wrote this on my phone in the car so if there's any mistakes thats my excuse. Also Y/m/n stands for your/marauders/nickname because ofc you're a Marauder and of course you're an animagus. like duh.

“Remus, it's a full moon tonight, you can't go. We can't risk that.” I persisted, staring holes into the back of the boy's head.

He turned around angrily, “Why does it even matter, Y/n?” He yelled, and a drop of spit flew from his lips. “After everything that's happened, you're gonna stop me from going to that traitors trial?”

“If you're gonna act like this, yes! I am going to stop you.” I yelled back, taking a step towards him as my voice softened. “And we don't know if Sirius was framed or not, he's our best friend. Do you really think he'd do something like this?”

Remus shook his head, his shoulders dropping, “I think it doesn't matter, because James and Lily are dead. And Peter! Someone needs to be punished for it, and all the signs point to him.”

I frowned, “I don't think he did it.”

“Well, you think wrong.” Remus said, turning back around and walking out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

“Remus, I swear to Merlin, if you apparate to the Ministry-” I was cut off by the loud cracking noise of apparition. He didn't even grab his coat.

“Fancy seeing you here.” I said coolly as I sat next to Remus. He shook his head, anger radiating from his skin.

“You're ridiculous.” He muttered and I scoffed. 

“There's no way you're taking your frustration out on me, right now.” I flashed a smile at a woman I recognized from Hogwarts, she smiled back sadly. I focused in on the middle of the room, where an empty cage was being rolled out. 

“I can't even talk to you. You’re so annoying.” Remus stood up but was stopped as a new cage was rolled in. I gently pulled him back down as we stared at Sirius. He was caged and muzzled like a dog. 

Remus squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back. Sirius’ clothes were torn, his usual fancy jacket he stole from his mother covered in dirt and blood. He looked around the room frantically, eyes wide and tears streaming down his cheeks. He made eye contact with me and placed his hands on the bars, silently begging me to believe that he didn't do this, he could never. 

I gave him a look of worry as the Minister cleared his throat, “Sirius Black, son of Orion and Walburga Black, you are here today under the accusation of working with He Who Must Not Be Named and the murder of twelve muggles, one witch, Lily Potter, and two wizards, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. How do you plead?”

The moment the muzzle was off his mouth he answered hastily. “Not guilty!” Sirius screamed, his voice shaky and broken. He shook in his cage, “I didn't do it, please! I would never hurt my frie-”

“Silence!” Crouch demanded, holding his hand up, his ring glinted in the candlelight. “We need not hear more.” He scribbled on a piece of parchment and handed it to the boy standing next to him. The boy studied the paper.

He nodded, “Of course, sir.” He left the room quickly.

There were quiet whispers floating around the room, speculating what the young boy could possibly be searching for. 

“Now, because there seems to be a lack of witnesses, which I am sure is just how you wanted it to be, unfortunately we cannot blindly believe that you are innocent.” The boy came back into the room, holding a small vial of clear liquid.

“Veritaserum.” Remus mumbled and I nodded. 

“It's a good idea.” I whispered.

The vial was brought up to Sirius’ lips, who drank it willingly, thankful to finally have a good alibi. 

“I will ask you plain and simply, did you reveal the hidden location of James and Lily Potter to the Dark Lord, resulting in them being murdered and their son orphaned?”

Sirius shook his head, “I did not.” My shoulders relaxed as it felt as if a weight had been lifted. Remus still looked at him coldly, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Did you murder that group of muggles, and your own friend, Peter Pettigrew, leaving behind only his finger?”

“No, I did not.”

The room was silent as Crouch thought. They glanced between the man behind bars and the one upon a podium, his stare belittling. He glanced at the empty bottle on his desk, and back to Sirius before whispering to a man beside him. 

I glanced at Sirius who was already looking at us. He gave me a small smile and I returned it. 

“It is probable.” The man said quietly, but still in earshot. 

Crouch nodded and banged his hammer, “It has been decided. The Veritaserum that was given to was a flake. So, under Mr. Barty Crouch, Minister of Magic, you plead guilty, and are sentenced to life in Azkaban.”

Some people cheered, others let out yells of protest. Remus slipped away, walking out of the room angrily. 

“No, that's rubbish.” I yelled as he began to be rolled away. He screamed in fear, going crazy inside of the cage.

I stood up and pushed past people, carefully jumping down to the floor and below the Minister. The room silenced again and the cage stopped dragging across the floor. Everyone had their eyes on me. 

“Let me talk to him.”

Crouch looked amused, “Miss-”

“It is only a custom. Tradition, even. You must allow me a word with Sirius Black before you send him off. It's in the books.”

Crouch glanced at the book as the boy flipped to the pages. He sighed as he read the words, telling him that it was indeed allowed for loved ones to speak with the person before they are sent off. 

“I'm afraid he cannot be out of his cage, it is not up for discu-”

“I can talk through the bars, can I not?”

“Fine. Follow them.”

I followed them out quietly, ignoring the angry stares I got from people, even the spit that they shot at me, landing right in front of my feet. Once we were in the hall, the men stood to the side and I walked up the cage hastily, putting my hands on the bars.

“Sirius, I'm going to ask you this once, and only once, and I need you to tell me the truth. Whatever you say, I will believe you. Did you or did you not kill James and Lily?”

Sirius looked me straight in the eyes, desperate, “Y/n, please, I would never.”

“It's a yes or no question.”

“No. I didn't.” 

I paused, before grabbing his hand through the bars, “I believe you. It's okay, I'll figure this out.”

His eyes filled with tears again and being this close I could see the heavy bags below his eyes. His hair was a ratty mess and his skin was blemished and dirty. 

“Did you know she was pregnant?” Sirius asked and my eyes widened.

“She was?”

“Yeah. They were going to tell us all on Christmas, but James let it slip to me.”

I took a deep breath, “Oh my.”

There was a moment of silence between us, neither daring to break the quiet atmosphere.

“Does Remus hate me?” He whispered and my heart broke. 

“I don't know.” I answered honestly and he nodded, his eyes averting to the bottom of the cage.

“I didn't kill them. I'd never. He was my best friend, my brother.” Sirius began sobbing. “I've already lost him, and Lily. I've lost my godson. And now Remus. I can’t lose you, Y/n/n, I can’t.” he cut himself off with a gasp.

“It's time to go.” One of the men said, beginning to drag him away.

“I can’t lose you!” Sirius yelled as he was dragged away. 

“You won’t.” I whispered before I looked up at the man as he was dragged away, “Sirius! I love you!”

He smiled sadly, “I love you too, Y/m/n!”

I rubbed my hands together quickly as I walked up to the front door. I placed my hand on the freezing knob and opened it, silently cursing myself for not locking it before I left.

It was half an hour until sundown, so I immediately apparated home to help prepare Remus - and myself - for the night. It was probably going to be one of the hardest he's ever experienced, and I felt terrible for him. 

“Remus?” I called out, only to get no response. I furrowed my brows taking my jacket off slowly, “Baby, I know you're mad but I still want to help you tonight.” Still, nothing.

I set down my bag and slipped off my shoes before quietly walking to the bedroom.

“Rem?” I asked softly, pushing open the door and expecting to see him sitting on the bed, head between his hands as he cried softly.

But he wasn't. In fact the room seemed to be the same as it was before I left. The bathroom was dark and empty. No sign of Remus anywhere.

I walked to the kitchen, hoping to find him sipping from a mug of tea while staring out the window, like he usually is. But there was nothing.

I slipped on my coat and threw on my shoes, ignoring my bag as I quickly left the house. I pulled out the flip phone Remus had insisted on us getting.

“For easier communication.” He’d say.

I struggled to work the muggle device, but managed to send a quick ‘where r u?!’ text. At this point, the sun was beginning its descent and the full moon shone brightly.

I paused for a moment, thinking of any possible place he could be. 

“The Shrieking Shack.” I said quietly to myself, immediately apparating to the raggedy house. 

However, just like our own, it was also completely empty, save for one man. 

“Professor Dumbledore?” I asked quietly. The older man turned around and smiled gently. I didn't fail to notice the tears he wiped from his cheeks.

“Ah, Miss L/n, or is it Lupin, yet?” Dumdledore asked.

I shook my head, “Not yet, no. But speaking of the man, has he been here?”

Dumbledore looked around, “No, I'm afraid not.” He glanced out of the window, at the light in the darkening sky. “It is a full moon tonight, isn't it?”

I stood beside him with a sigh, “That it is.”

“And the night of Sirius’ trial as well, what unfortunate timing.”

“I'd have to agree.”

“You cannot find him?”

I turned around and leaned against the window sill, “No. We were fighting, before the trial. It's been rough for everyone and we took it out on each other.”

Dumbledore nodded, “Ah, it happens. I suppose, however, you should spend less time with this old man, and more time finding who I would assume to be a werewolf by now.”

I opened my mouth to answer but was cut off by a loud howl. The sun had completely dipped below the horizon, and the werewolves were born. 

“Well, it seems you'd be correct.”

“Was that him?” Dumbledore asked.

I shook my head, “No, his howl is deeper. I assume that was a female.”

“Ah.”

I shifted my feet, feeling awkward. “Uhm, I'm gonna go look for him.”

“Take a blanket.” Dumdledore said, handing me a brown bundle of cloth.

“Thank you.”

“Go.”

I nodded and pushed open the door. I sighed at the heavy snowfall, looking into the distant trees. It was going to be a long night.

The tears started as the sun made an appearance again. The weight of everything finally hitting and pressure built behind my eyes.

“Remus, please, where are you?” I called out, my voice hoarse and salty tears slipped into my mouth. I wiped the running snot from my upper lip, my shoulders shaking.

I passed a tree and the bright color of red caught my eye. A blood trail. I followed it eagerly, a small sob leaving my lips and I clutched tightly onto the blanket. It led behind a rock, where my heart broke.

Remus lay there, naked and in a fetal position. He had long cuts all along his body and the snow around him was trained red. He shivered in the snow and his lips were blue.

He glanced at me weakly, sadness filling his eyes. “Y/n.” He whispered, his voice almost non existent. 

I snapped out my daze and grabbed onto him, quickly pulling him to his feet and wrapping the blanket around him. He clutched onto me and cried, I cried with him. 

I apparated to the house silently and he fell to his knees, I followed him, holding him in the kneeling position. 

“It’s okay.” I whispered, biting back my own tears as he sobbed. “It’s okay.”

He cried, “It’s not!”

“Remus, let me clean you.” I said softly, wiping my tears after a few long moments. 

“Okay.” He whispered, staring ahead blankly. 

It was quiet, again, as I cleaned and bandaged. A few times he'd cry again, and I'd let him, figuring it was better to continue what I'm doing. I led him to bed and closed the curtains so the sun didn't shine through. 

“Do you feel better?” I asked quietly once I got into bed.

“I'm not sure I feel much of anything, right now.” Remus said, facing his back towards me.

I looked at him sadly and turned over, closing my eyes and finally letting sleep overtake me.

When I woke up the bed was empty. I sighed, assuming he was in the kitchen or living room. I used the bathroom and walked out of the bedroom. I walked out into the living room.

“Remus?” I asked. He wasn't there. I looked into the kitchen and he wasn't to be seen. The deja vu of the night before was prominent. “Are you serious?”

A note sat neatly on the fridge. I glanced at the magnet, it was a picture of Remus and I smiling wide, faces pressed against each other. We got it from a muggle - or no-maj - vendor when we visited america. I noticed the second one we had was gone. I shook my head and took the note from beneath the magnet. 

I immediately recognized the handwriting as Remus’. I stared at the letter, the one assigned to me. The last letter of my name was splotchy, stained with a tear. 

I gently tore open the letter.

Dear Y/n,

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm so sorry for what I'm doing.

I am so scared. With James, Lily, and Peter dead, and Sirius in Azkaban, I just don't know what to do.

You mean the world to me. You're perfect, beautiful, intelligent, witty, talented, you're everything good and nothing bad. At this point you are the world for me.

 Which is why I have to do this. I can't drag you down to darkness with me, I'd never forgive myself. I know this will hurt you, it's hurting me too, but I also know you can get through this. 

I want you to be happy, and I think that's impossible if I’m in your life. So I'm taking the liberty to leave it. My stuff will be magically transported once I find a place to stay, keep the house, you deserve it more than I do.

I love you more than life itself. 

with the deepest of regrets,

Remus

P.S. you are worth EVERYTHING! don't ever settle for the bare minimum.

I dropped the letter and stared out of the window. The snow fell gently, piling up on the ground. It felt rather similar to the quiet tears dripping down my face. In the span of four weeks, I had lost everyone important to me. I didn't realize I had any tears left to cry.

I suppose I'll have to get a dog to keep me company now. 

“Welcome, Professor L/n.” Dumbledore greeted.

I smiled at the group of teachers that came to welcome me. “Thank you, I appreciate all of you. Especially you, Minnie.” I said with a wink and Professor McGonagall laughed wetly, wiping a stray tear from her eye.

“Okay okay, let's not suffocate her on her first day. Dinner is in an hour, I trust you to find your room.” Dumbledore said and I nodded as the teachers dispersed.

“Severus.” I called out and the man stopped in his tracks. I walked over as he turned around and pulled him into a tight hug. He looked at me weirdly once I pulled away. “I know you loved her too.”

He knew exactly who I was talking about, “I have no idea who you're talking about.”

“I know you don't.” I smiled and began walking towards my room. 

“I’m sorry about Lupin.” He said and I paused. 

“I have no idea who you're talking about.”

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