#angelina jolie is hot af

[fishsirop]

I mean, WHAT KIND OF PERSON THAT Doesn’t turn bisexual or gay, when see these looks of angeline jolie.

Angeline flawless jolie.

[regalmadness]

Look, I dgaf who is acting or what the scene may be, nothing and I say NOTHING will ever top Angelina Jolie's Maleficent christening performance. That shit was Oscar worthy. The laugh. The music. The facial expressions. The body language. The. goddamn. laugh. N O T H I N G will EVER compare.

E V E R.

[wasaabae]

Angelina Jolie.

[birds-bazookas-honkers]

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A post shared by Man_influence (@man_influence._) on Mar 5, 2020 at 1:28pm PST

[elizabeth-mitchells]

i just watched the new maleficent movie and it is SO good??? i loved it!!!

[little-btm-blog]

Angelina Jolie is so hot in Girl, Interrupted

[flameboyace]

ONE PIECE BOYS WATCHING DISNEY MOVIES pt.3

□ this man likes frankenweenie and no one can say no

□ the style of this whole movie is something he looks after every single time

□ big tim burton fan

□ the storyline of the movie? Always makes him cry, but he would never admit it

□ has the little dog's plushie, nobody knows how he got it

□ rewatch this movie every time he has a little time for himself

□ he loves coco, he really loves coco

□ the colours used in this movie are literally his favourite thing ever, the way he look at every minimum detail, every little change of colour

□ always ends up crying like a bitch, never ended it without crying

□ knows all the songs from first to last

□ you can hear him singing from the street

□ loves all the culture this movie let you learn, he loves this bout this movie and will never stop to love it

□ watched chicken little because every one kept saying he was literally the little chicken in this movie

□ now it's his favourite movie

□ very passionate about the whole bravery of the little chicken, he actually used it to motivate himself

□ makes his friends watch it with him when they don't know what to watch

□ know it all, he can tell every dialog from the very start without missing out

□ has some merch of it

□ maleficent. Angelina Jolie. That's it.

□ like the whole story obviously, but this man is here for angelina as we all are

□ spend the whole movie admiring her, as everyone should do

□ always makes some comment on the costumes and how he likes or hates them

□ ends up loving the story way more than expected

□ still here for angelina

□ dressed up as maleficent for halloween, he was hot af actually

□ run for his life just to see the second movie when it came out

□ has a poster of maleficent in his room and he's ready to attack anyone who goes even near that thing

□ wishes to be the crow bitch

_____________________________

[vonnyphant]

To Blog or Not to Blog?

“You should start a diary and write about your experiences. It may help people going through the same thing.”

Honestly? If there’s one thing I discovered about this diagnosis, it’s that it makes me pretty damn selfish. I don’t want to help other people (not just yet, anyway). But putting some thoughts down about this time in my life may be of some sort of therapeutic value, and I do want to help myself. 

(Maybe for once, saving the world can wait. Do you remember how, soon after the pandemic hit, people stopped avoiding plastic and single-use items? When your health is at risk, suddenly rainforests and polar bears and the planet are deprioritised- not that anyone will admit to this. But this is my diary and I can say what I want!* Writing for myself it is.)

Having established my less-than-Mother-Theresa-like reasons for this blog, my conscience cleared, it’s time to start. This is where the Lifetime movie shows me, in a half daze, mellowed out on drugs while they sew a mediport into my chest to start administering chemicals. A fast lane to my bloodstream. A docking station. The soundtrack? Hopefully ‘Across The Universe’ by the Beatles (possibly Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. If I get a say in it, I veto The Walrus) Time to pump this body full of drugs that’ll make my hair fall out. 

Wait, what?

Voice Over: “Yep. That’s me. You’re probably wondering what I am doing here…” //record scratch - freeze frame - fast rewind to the psychedelic outtro of A Day In The Life//

Two months ago, during rub-a-dub-in-the-tub (less naughty than it sounds, was just washing myself), my mind inexplicably went to an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, s1 (aired in 1992- yes, I am that old), where Brenda Walsh has a breast cancer scare. I say inexplicably, because my usual shower fantasies do not include Ms Shannon Doherty - if I was going to pick a shower lady, I’d opt for Charlize Theron, Kiera Knightly or Winona Ryder in their short-hair phases, but that is neither here nor there. 

Say what you want for 90s television- weird outfits and ponytails notwithstanding, in their AfterSchoolSpecial PSA way, they dedicated a whole scene to the girls giving themselves a breast exam, including how-to instructions**, and eventhough I was only 11 years old when I saw it, I remembered what to do, and for the last 30 years, every now and then I have randomly carried it out while wondering how I always preferred Brandon over Dylan and how my tastes have changed over time.

But this time - my hand actually found something.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down the same way I did after finding spots on my skin, lumps on my head and every time I sneezed since covid-19; by telling myself to fucking snap out of my hypochondria tendencies. One cannot go to the doctor every damn day after all. Breast tissue is pretty lumpy and I assumed it was just imaginary. I made an appointment to see a therapist, and  put it out of my mind until a few weeks later, when one of the kids came crashing down on me (literally) and faceplanted in my boob (as they do). 

Now this always hurts af, but it just hurt that little more that day, so that I grabbed the appendage in question and went “WHAT THE--!” And I felt it again- the lump, more defined than a few weeks before. 

Cue a lot more freaking out than the first time, and after a sleepless night, imagining what my funeral would look like (as one does), I decided to go to the gynocologist the same day or risk never to sleep again.

After a long wait and an ultrasound, my doctor assured me that while there really was a mass, it had every indication of being benign. We should keep an eye on it. If I was worried, I could schedule a second screening, but would not likely get an appointment before April. I scheduled one and tried to focus on preparing our first lockdown Christmas. 

But over the holidays, the lump started hurting, even when I wasn’t poking it or having a kid catapult themselves into my chest. I’d be Netflix and Chilling, and suddenly - ZAP - like someone stuck a hot needle into it. Repeatedly. My nipple would go numb or start tingling like a bodypart that fell asleep. It freaked me out, and in the new year, I realised I couldn’t wait until April - I had to get it checked out again or I may worry myself to death.

My gynocologist did another ultrasound and again, told me not to worry. I told her it was way too late for that as I had been worried for weeks, and I wanted the thing biopsied (they gave Brenda Walsh one too, after all! It’s the only way to be 100% sure). She referred me to the hospital. At the description of my symptoms, I could come directly, and the radiologist told me in no unclear terms: “I will not let you leave this room until we draw blood and take several biopsies.” Okay- not exactly what one wants to hear at that point, but at the same time, I figured knowing would be better than guessing by the shape of it.

Test results took a week. I went in, being prepared to be told (like Brenda) it was a harmless clump of random cells or a cyst we could have removed like a wart. Only it wasn’t. It was breast cancer, an aggressive, fast-growing kind, and had I waited until April, that could have had disastrous consequences.

While the doctor explained we now needed to determine the scope of the spread and take more tissue to determine what kind of chemo (if any) could be applied, all my 2020-PTSD brain could think was: 

“.............of course”. 

Didn’t hear much of what she said afterwards.

Another harrowing 4 days went by, with a CT screening with contrast solutions that gave me an intense stomach ache as well as a migraine, and finally, a fully rounded diagnosis and treatment advice could be made. 

Thankfully, all my organs as well as lymphnodes were clear, so it appears to be a localised tumor. And here we are - to fight this thing with chemicals and then cut out whatever is left. Genetics testing to see about the likelihood of a recurrency (and a possible double mastectomy if so - ‘pulling an Angelina Jolie’, ‘not saving the tatas’, insert ‘Think About It meme’...can’t have breast cancer if you don’t have breasts! THINK ABOUT IT***). 

Chances are good. I need to cling to that while I wait for this port and treatment to start. I have accepted the inevitable hair loss, have scheduled a ritual ‘crazy hair cutting party’ with my kids for this weekend (as I would rather shave it off in one go than clean up clumps and strands over the course of weeks and look like Gollum), and I have sewn several funny little hats for inside wear and ‘going out’ (though where will I be going in pandemic, idk). 

I was going to end this post on a light and happy note - but I must admit my confidence just took a really big hit in real time, as I googled how to spell Shannon’s last name for this blog entry and found out that she was treated for breast cancer in 2015, initially succesfully, but it reappeared metastasized in 2020 (again: ‘of course...when else’) and she is now in stage IV. Fuck 2020.

What are the odds that the woman whose character made me discover my own breast cancer is now, in fact, dying of the same disease? This will surely haunt me for a long time to come.

More tomorrow? Or soon? It may take a while. Until then: outro to It’s Getting Better.

*also for the record I would like to state that I’ve sewn my own masks from upcycled pillowcases and continued using fruit- and vegetable nets to avoid plastic; maybe that makes up for me being utterly selfish at the moment. Karma +1?

** https://youtu.be/pkgYXITkrfw (the scene from BH 90210)

***cis men / trans women without breasts can also get breast cancer (even though it’s rare) so this meme doesn’t really hold up, but that’s the whole point of the meme ;)

[draculagerard]

3x10 dream a little dream of me. amazing episode 10/10. sam had a wet dream of bela. funny af. dean asked who sam dreamed about and he would obviously ask the ones HE found hot and guess who? angelina jolie AND brad pitt. the way they showed dean's resent towards john. so true worsties. the colt in the end? i love bela sm

This whole episode… so true… 

[bisluthq]

For men it also depends on the moment in their career, I've seen a lot of people saying that Tom Hiddleston is more handsome than Chris Evans, but it's kind of obvious that if he wasn't Loki the opinions would be different

I mean I think they just find Hiddles hot. I’m sorry I’m like gay af and wouldn’t touch Evans with a ten foot pole but he’s objectively very very ridiculously good looking.

People conflate thirst/personal preferences/hotness with objective reality.

I don’t find either half of Brangelina hot but I’m not stupid and I’m not gonna be like “wow Angelina Jolie is so meh looking and did you see her ex? How deeply mediocre.”

[tabloidtoc]

OK, April 13

Cover: Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford’s 18-year love story 

Page 1: Contents 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 4: Hannah Brown and Tyler Cameron’s reunion 

Page 6: Prince Harry wants to come home in his father Prince Charles’ time of need with coronavirus infection 

Page 7: Cindy Crawford begs daughter Kaia Gerber to help her older brother Presley Gerber amid his rebellious streak, Chris Hemsworth has amassed a ton of star power and is now requesting that all of his movies film in Australia, while Miley Cyrus is holed up in quarantine she launched a live Instagram talk show and she’s enjoying her project so much she thinking of bringing it to TV

Page 8: Khloe Kardashian and ex Tristan Thompson are quarantining together with daughter True and her family hopes that the alone time brings the two back together except for Scott Disick who thinks Tristan is bad news and hasn’t changed at all, Billie Eilish is music’s current golden girl but the teen singer’s string of success has her inner circle worried that she’s running herself ragged, Katy Perry is doing things backward by marrying Orlando Bloom after the birth of their first child together and surprisingly her strict preacher parents have given their approval 

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- orange -- Logan Browning, Kate Bosworth, Issa Rae 

Page 11: Kathryn Newton, Florence Pugh, Kristin Cavallari 

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Hailee Steinfeld vs. Bella Hadid, Dominique Tipper vs. Alesha Dixon

Page 13: Duchess Kate Middleton vs. Elizabeth Chambers 

Page 14: News in Photos -- A Breath of Fresh Air -- Jeannie Mai 

Page 15: Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green and kids Noah and Journey and Bodhi, Olivia Wilde, Simon Cowell, Wells Adams and dog Carl 

Page 16: Joel McHale, Myleene Klass, Maya Rudolph and Alec Baldwin 

Page 18: Bailee Madison and boyfriend Blake Richardson, Colin Hanks

Page 19: Brooke Burke and a dog, Alessandra Ambrosio walks her dog, Minnie Driver 

Page 20: Book Smart -- Mayim Bialik reading Embrace Your Weird, Lena Dunham reads A Year Without a Name by her younger sibling Cyrus, Nicole Kidman reading A Good Marriage 

Page 21: Emma Roberts reads We Wish You Luck, Reese Witherspoon reads The Jetsetters, Emma Watson and Little Women, Mindy Kaling reads In Other Words 

Page 22: Natural Beauties -- Gabrielle Union, Bella Hadid, Charlize Theron and her dog Johnny Utah, Lady Gaga 

Page 23: Gwyneth Paltrow and Alexandra Grant and Demi Moore, Tracee Ellis Ross, Salma Hayek 

Page 24: Quarantined in Luxury -- Keanu Reeves, Bindi Irwin and Chandler Powell, Brad Pitt, Amal and George Clooney 

Page 25: Kate Winslet, Jessica Simpson, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts, Renee Zellweger 

Page 26: Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich’s divorce is off 

Page 27: Julia Roberts’ husband Danny Moder has always been an outdoorsman but she’s worried he’s turning into a full-blown adrenaline junkie, Lea Michele and Zandy Reich just celebrated their one-year wedding anniversary but the two are still on cloud nine as they play house, though the global health pandemic has forced David Foster and wife Katharine McPhee to postpone their joint tour they were able to find a silver lining -- they’re taking advantage of their freed-up schedule to start a family 

Page 28: Kelly Ripa has no qualms when it comes to gushing about her and husband Mark Consuelos’ sex life but he would prefer she left a little to the imagination, Evan Peters and Halsey have called it quits and she may be back with Dominic “Yungblud” Harrison, Love Bites -- Meghan McCain and husband Ben Domenech are expecting, Michelle Williams and Thomas Kail married, Nina Dobrev and Shaun White dating 

Page 30: Cover Story -- Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford’s untold love story -- how the longtime couple built one of the most solid marriages in Hollywood 

Page 34: How Reese Witherspoon does it all -- she makes balancing life as a mom, wife and business mogul look easy 

Page 36: Sandra Bullock has finally tied the knot with her boyfriend of five years Bryan Randall in a small and ceremony at her Hollywood Hills home 

Page 38: Farewell to Modern Family 

Page 40: Kim Kardashian’s new reality -- she opens up about her first year of law studies, her family and her new documentary 

Page 46: Style Week -- For the premiere of Westworld Evan Rachel Wood directed her glam team to make her look sleek AF

Page 49: 5 Minutes with Audrina Patridge 

Page 50: Cinched Denim -- Shailene Woodley 

Page 54: Entertainment -- Mrs. America

Page 55: Q&A with Declan Laird of Green Rush 

Page 58: Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas heating up 

Page 60: Hollywood Heat Meter -- Kevin Hart and Eniko Parrish are expecting their second child together, Taylor Swift’s feud with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian is not over, Tokyo’s Summer Olympics will be postponed, another publisher released Woody Allen’s memoir, The Bachelor’s Madison Prewett split from Peter Weber and has been linked to Connor Saeli, Doing Their Part -- stars are helping out every which way they can during the coronavirus crisis -- Bethenny Frankel, Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell, Jennifer Garner and Amy Adams, Rihanna, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively 

Page 61: Sound Bites -- Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kelly Clarkson, Blake Shelton, Kylie Jenner, Justin Timberlake 

Page 62: Horoscope -- Aries Paul Rudd 

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Liam Hemsworth

[undeniably-gayy]

And not gonna lie, Angelina Jolie is hot af in that movie and I am STOKED for the 2nd one.

ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO

[clexamazon]

StraightAnon: OMFG I can’t believe you just quoted from Girl Interrupted! I kid you not, I was talking to a work colleague about that film a few hours ago 😮😮. I was talking about the scene where they play Skeeter’s ‘End of the World’ is equal parts hilarious and equal parts heartbreaking 💔. I don’t think I’ll be able to ask the questions - I’m too faint of heart & had to leave tumblr before after seeing an…explicit gif LOL

Ha! Very nice! I see you have taste. I mean, c'mon, it's got Angelina Jolie in it and she gets kissed by a girl! It's like, the best we get apart from Gia. Ofc I know the movie 😅 I can totally quote most of Lisa's lines 😅😅

We are very rare and we are mostly men. ~ Lisa thinks she's hot shit because she's a sociopath. ~ I'm a sociopath ~ no, you're a dyke. 🤣 Gold. 😅

Now you're just making me wonder.. How'd you stumble onto my tumblr AND onto my very gay AF very non-vanilla bdsm porn fanfiction? 🤔 Bc I think I only talked about my status as a sub under Resolving Tensions? 🤔

[thetalkinglegs]

Watched a vid about Angelina Jolie’s plastic surgery and feels kinda sad… Idk I thought it was all natural beauty. Still hot af its impossible.

[fritumlay]

Being hot af doesnt guarantee you anything.

Hot women who've been cheated on:

Denise richards

Beyonce

Jennifer Aniston

hot women who've been dumped and left single:

Kylie jenner

Pamela Anderson

Angelina Jolie

Britney Spears

[valkurious69]

My Sweet Sacrifice CH. 2

“Halo?” I rasped, twirling a strand of hair on my finer. It was probably another of mom’s boring work fiends, ready 2 leaf a massage 4 her. I didn’t even half time to roll my eyes when they flew back open wide.



“is this Tamzin Loki?” came a really lusty girl’s voice. My tongue dried up in my mouth at the sight of her words. I licked my lips and told my heart to shut UP! (AN: as I said b4, she’s BYE!!!!11 that means she likes men AND WOMAN!!1) I didn’t even mind that she hand’t used my full name, which I prefer to go bi.

“Y-Yes... that’s me!” croaked my reply. I whipped my hands against my skirt nervously. What could such a sexy person want from me besides sex ofc. But she hadn’t even seen my face yet! Or had she? I hoped she wasn’t some1 creepy, even though she was a girl and girls aren’t ever crepey.



“My nam is the Morrigan...” she continued plainly, as if filling her nails. “I have a preposition for you...”

Tehh Morrigan?? That was a big fcuking deal, since she’s the ruler of the dark fay (oh, I forgot to mention, since I am dark fae, she’s my queen 2)!!1! Like imagine if Amy Lee had called a fan to ask them a flavor, it’s that cool. It also explained her sexiness, since she’s well-known for being a major hottie. Even hotter than us valkrees!1 But what did she want with me...?

“oh woW!” I gasped, choked. “What a horror! I am flattened, my ledge.” I bowed even tho I was on a phone. You never no what she could see, after all. “What can I dew for you?”



She purred a smile. “Just what I hopped to hear. I have a very important mission 4 u. I have herd a great deal about you, Tamzin... all vary impressive things.”

My blush crept all over my face, making it very hot. Hotter than normal. “Thx.” I elaborated.

“That’s why I want you to bring a fae man into Valhella 4 me...”

I did a spit take even tho I wasn’t drinking. Valkyries usually only bring humans in2 Valholla!! Killing a fae mean he must be an important guy to her... and definitely lite. Only noble dudes got to retire in the hall of the goods. The Mulligan orderign to kill a light fae on porpoise would be a crime in our world... if anyone ever caught her in the act.

And she wanted ME two do it??



“A... a fae?” I reaped in shock. “That’s a big deal...”

“Yes, yas it is. But I have my raisins, and I have faith that you can pole it off.” Her voice was still hella sexy, like if Angelina Jolie and Marylin Monorail had a baby. And then that baby grew up into a mega sexbonb woman. It was really hard to say no to a voice lik that. “So... u up 4 the challenge?”

I glanced @ my reflection in the hallway mirror, dabbing. Before now, I had been escorting normal targets, supes boring average heroes... and all human. Which I didn’t mind... huemans could be pretty cute. Especially when fucking them. Which I like to do, a lot. They're cut lil bruises and painting sounds... the way they moan and grown... even when they cum too soon is precious. (AN: don’t call her a slut!!11!! she just likes sex, OK?? that don;t mean she a whore!!) Butt bringing a light fae into the halls.... that would def bump me up to head Valkyrie level... and I would be the youngest ever to do sew...

“Kay.” I said after an hour. “I’ll do it.”

“Wonderulf!” she yawned happily, snapeing her fingers. A heavy folder of paupers appeared in midair and I caught them just as they started to fall. “off!” I managed not to say as they landed. Cradling the phone on my shoulder, I opened them up.

“So... ho is my target?”



Rite on the fist page was a hot af young man (tho knot as young as me), with dirty blond curls and a sexy scuffle of a beard. He looked neice, wearing a purple collared shit, sleeves rolled halfway up, under a pinstriped vest, a studded punk belt threaded thru black leather sknny pants, and a sliver wristwatch. He had the faintest trace of eyeliner around his kind eyes, which were squinted in happenis in the pic (AN: if u don think eyeliner on guys is sexay than FCCK OFF!!!11!!! they’re not gay if they do, and being gay makes them 10x hotter anyway!!). The only evidence of anything fae was the hint of fang at the coroner of his smile, confirming along w his stats that he was, indeed, a wearwolf. I scammed the name @ the top of the page right as the Morganna hissed aganst my ear,



“Dyson”.