#andy grif

[correctrvbquotes]

Cut to Grif lying face-down next to Andy

Andy: Hey Grif, just tell 'em where the kid with the sword is, and you can go.

Grif: Wha? A-Andy is that you? Why are you helping monster people?

Andy: Hey, gotta make a livin'.

Green Alien: Hnk. Hnk? Wnkwnk. Wrear.

Andy: He says someone's comin'. Eh we gotta go!

The Green Alien and another alien run off, presumably carrying Andy

Andy: Seeya Grif! By the way, you look like shit! Zing!

Grif: Uoh, okay, bye. I'm gonna, to go to sleeping again...

[radiantrookie]

From The Best Red Vs Blue DVD Ever. Of All Time.

[rvb-relationship-royale]

RvB Friendship Fray- Round One, Part Two, Poll One

[leonardalphachurch]

i’m sad about the amount characters in rvb who have weight issues now

[leonardalphachurch]

everything you’re saying is completely correct but i do think there’s more nuance in the problems with the way women are written in the show vs just season before season 11 good after season 11 bad. which i’m not saying that’s what you’re saying i just also want an excuse to talk about the way female characters are treated.

there’s a definite difference between the way women are written in the different eras of the show. looking at bgc, there is a LOT of misogynistic humor levied at the women; the women in bgc face more overt misogyny than at any other point in the show. there are also only 3 women over the 5 seasons, compared to the 14 men (the disparity in numbers will continue through all eras of the show, though). however, they’re also WAY more fleshed out than the freelancer women are— and even the post 11 women at times. kai was reduced down to “party girl” in the original post but i don’t think that’s fair at all. for a character who was really only in a little over half a season of the show (pre 16) she has a really dynamic characterization. she’s not immune to the misogyny of blood gulch but she IS a fleshed out character. she’s colorblind; she speaks fluent spanish and knows morse code, implying a proficiency in languages; she has an actual backstory of how and why she joined the army, something that even most of the reds and blues don’t get; she’s bisexual; she’s terrible at picking up social cues; and, most importantly, she’s on the same level as the rest of the reds and blues in terms of power and narrative. kai and jensen are the ONLY female characters who are allowed to be as much of a fuckup as the rest of the cast. and we’ll get to jensen later. (ohio is also a fuckup but she’s barely a character and even then, within the triplets she’s often the most competent!). all of the reds and blues are messy assholes and kai is really the only female character that is actually equal to them (tho even then, her status as a little sister character does give her an element of being below the other characters— not to even mention the fact that she literally was not named besides her title of how she related to a male character). as for kai in 16-17. we already wrote about this in a much better way than we’re doing here so. go read those posts.

sheila is a really interesting character because like. she is literally a tool for men to ride around in and use. but she is also, imo, maybe the best written female character? besides maybe kimball? but sheila and kimball’s problems are very similar, actually. looking at sheila in a vacuum, she’s unbelievably dynamic and imo compelling. she’s a military tank who’s purpose is to kill, and she does take pleasure in violence! but she’s also. motherly? and a romantic. and vindictive and jealous. and caring and kind. she has multiple arcs, which is a trait she shares only with carolina (and kind of tex? tex’s arcs are. complicated.) she’s like. a really interesting character. there’s such a deep well there. but her problem is not a problem with her, it’s a problem with the rest of the show. her motherly behavior and general competence puts her on a higher pedestal than the reds and blues have. and like. there isn’t a problem with writing a woman who’s motherly. especially since she’s so fleshed out besides that. like, toriel isn’t a misogynistic character just bc she’s a mom. but the difference between toriel and sheila is that undertale has countless female characters with contrasting traits while rvb. does not. if rvb had tons of other female characters all at different levels of competence and personality types than sheila would be perfect. but it does not. and as it is two out of the three female characters in blood gulch are at least in part defined by how they take care of the male characters around them.

which i guess i should talk about kimball bc she has the same problem. kimballs actual writing is FANTASTIC. but again, chorus has numbers issue. out of the 10 new main characters introduced during chorus, only three of them are women. better numbers than bgc, but still not great. and if we consider ALL characters, not just new ones, then out of the 22 main characters, only four are women. and three of those four women are, again, hypercompetent and taking care of the men around them. there is more of a nuance to this dynamic in chorus bc i do think chorus has overall the best treatment of female characters but there’s still a lot of issues there.

especially with jensen. i do like jensen a lot, and i do really appreciate getting another cringefail woman to the cast. unfortunately her entire plot line is about the fact that she’s a woman. obviously, being a woman is an important part of. being a woman. but nearly everything about jensen’s arc is about how she’s the girl. simmons’ whole thing in 12 is his “nerdy” misogyny of seeing women as some untouchable separate species. which, funny enough, is kind of a microcosm of the entire issue with the shows treatment of women. make no mistake: the fear of women is rooted in misogyny. simmons behavior towards “volleyball” (refusing to give her a promotion because she intimidated him) is just as misogynistic as tucker’s (wanting to give her a promotion because she’s attractive to him). and this is never dealt with. (the misogyny is, in fact, doubled down in psas, but if i want to start complaining about the psas i’ll be here all week). even like, her trait of being bad at driving is a misogynistic stereotype? and like. i don’t think that was the intention there but you can see the problem when whole reason for existing in the first place was for a man (her boss) to be misogynistic at her. and then giving her a romance plot with palomo is like. we get it. she’s the girl. men attracted to women. can she please at least get an apology for how simmons treated her please.

you’ve explained a lot of the issues with the pfl ladies but again, the only characterization that women are allowed to have during the pfl era is “hypercompetent bitch”. obviously, all of the freelancers are hypercompetent, given their status as elite soldiers, but even within their ranks all the women are presented as being cutthroat, extremely capable, cold-hearted bitches, while the men are allowed to be soft, caring, lovable goofballs. york and north are allowed to wax poetic about the morality of pfl while CT yells at wash to “wake the fuck up”. wash and york are allowed to have major fuckups on their missions with little consequence shown to the audience while when north and south fuck up their mission, only south is blamed for it, and when she points out how unfair that is it’s treated as a tantrum and it’s never acknowledged that she’s right. there IS a double standard. wyoming, the one male character who was presented as being as cutthroat and cold blooded as the rest of the pfl women are, is just. written out. looking at numbers again, pfl has the best ratio but it’s still off. out of the 14 main characters, 5 are women. i didn’t even include wyoming or any of the innies in that count. out of the 5 women, ALL of them are hypercompetent and four of them are consistently characterized as “bitches”. and you could make an argument for 9er having that trait too. out of the nine male characters, NONE of the freelancer men have really. any negative traits. the only men who are presented in a negative light are the villains.

last but not least is shizno. i don’t have a lot to say here but. starting with kalirama— do you remember how excited people were when she first showed up. why was she just dropped. the fact that she was dropped was so egregious that the writer for 17 literally made chrovos a women to make up for the fact that he thought kalirama wasn’t utilized enough. i’m not joking that’s literally the reason. and about chrovos. look i think the god of all time not having a set gender is good and makes sense but. i kinda wish she was like. actually fluid in her gender and changed formed a few times. bc as it is she’s just kind of. a trans woman. and there’s nothing wrong with making your time god villain a trans woman (it’s actually awesome and everyone should do this) but when that’s. the only trans character you have. and it’s introduced with a joke about a sex change (in character comment for donut to make but. it still sucks) it’s like. it’s like. don’t do that.

and then dylan. she’s fine. i think she should’ve been way more unhinged. the thing is she is kind of unhinged in the first few episodes? like she shoots jax without remorse. she breaks into active military investigations. she negotiates a man’s suicide. but it feels like the second she gets with the reds and blues all the interesting parts of her character vanish and she just turns into. nice lady who takes care of the men around her. again. AGAIN.

it’s tiring. no more women who have the only brain cell. no more hypercompetent women who take care of men. from now on we only write cringefail lesbians.

(also i want to be clear here that when i call a woman’s characterization “bitch” i am not calling her a bitch, i am saying that that is how the writers are characterizing her. “bitch” is a character trait to misogynistic men, which is essentially “woman who has too much power and doesn’t respect men and you should hate her for it”. “bitch” isn’t just “woman who’s mean” it’s specifically about how the woman interacts with men (though sometimes that man is just the male author). as an example: despite being possibly the most cruel woman of the cast, grey isn’t characterized as a “bitch” because she’s never presented as being cruel for how she undermines a man’s character. contrast that with CT, who is literally in the right, but still gets the “bitch” characterization because of treatment of wash.)

In general up until like season 11 most of the women in the show are very one dimensional and they're often ignored until they can move along the guys plotlines. They’re also focused on a lot less. Aside from like. Carolina. The girls are all shelved over and over. Kai just got straight up removed for like 7 seasons. Comparing the girls to Redteam. Both are part of the plot but aren’t the main focus of the story, but red team gets fleshed out dynamics, diverse characters, multi faceted personalities, even Donut the guy whose personality is “gay jokes” gets hobbies and friends and interesting interactions. And the girls get. The angry one. Died to further the plot. Party girl. Hell Tex gets killed over and over to give motivation to the Churches. A lot of the depth and complexities of the girls has to be made up by the viewer. And while there are good women leaders in the show, there are like no girls who are allowed to have character development sans Carolina. They’re not allowed to make mistakes or grow from them. Their shows of emotions aren’t taken seriously by anyone around them. The girls are for the most part not allowed to be anything but perfect. When they make any mistakes they're immediately made out to be the bad guys. South is literally designed to be hated for traits that she shares with people like Sarge and Church. Ct is killed to give Wash trust issues and as a way to push her bf guys existence into the story and explain desert!ct. In general I absolutely love the girls and think they deserve better than what they got. For the person (tried to @ them but tumblr wont let me?) in the comments of one of my posts who asked me to explain why i think the way rvb women are written isn't good, thanks btw /gen. I love excuses to write out my thoughts <3

[ashen-sky]

Personal highlights from...

Red vs Blue The Ultimate Fan Guide

In honor of s19 and the continuation of where s13 left off, here are some highlights from the ultimate fan guide published back in 2015. I've been re-watching the show and it made me want to flip back through the guide. (Everything is sort of in the order it appears in the book, with a few exceptions)

Delta appears as a guide of sorts with fun facts

Caboose's position is listed as "Team Rookie/Occasional Captain/ Church's Best Friend" (it is actually struck out in the book)

He is also the only one listed with the title Captain, appearing as "Private/Captain Michael J. Caboose" (due to Wash "promoting" him, in the canyon on chorus)

Tucker is "Private First Class", Church, Donut, and Simmons are "Private"s, Sarge is listed as a "Colonel" under rank (the other Red's and Blue's ranks appears with their name while his is under "position"), and Grif is "Minor Junior Private, Negative First Class"

Wash used to be a chronic bed wetter (thanks D)

There's also a six page transcript of his psych eval prior to PF where we find out he injured a commanding officer because he wanted to "send everyone to their deaths", he also put a former bully through a mirror in fifth-grade

Grif is stated to have been assigned to Blood Gulch because he was the only survivor of an alien attack on a colony during the great war, he fell asleep at his post and everyone assumed he was KIA

Donut's position is listed as "On all fours... cleaning Red bade"

Doc's profile is "Doc/ O'Malley" and the whole thing lists both their interests, i.e "Position: Canyon Medic, Galactic Overlord"

Andy's (the bomb) name is "Andrew D. Kaboom"

Sheila and Filss share a page

Tex's notable attributes are "Kicking ass (and nuts), being a mean lady, and resurrection"

The password to unlock the file on Beta that CT left behind was "Allison" (Thanks again D)

York's page comments "Several reports were filed against Agent York claiming he and Agent Carolina had something of a "personal" relationship [...] Freelancer Command was unable to find any proof to support these accusations."

One of his notable attributes is "watching his right side" and his position is "team scoundrel"

Eta and iota (Carolina's AIs) were "fear and happiness"

According to the official time line, Carolina was around 6 when Allison died (Allison died 23 years before Blood Gulch and Carolina was born 29 years before)

Wyoming's real name is Reginald

South Dakota's Status is listed as "Extra Crispy"

Smith once spent two days contemplating in silence what Caboose meant when he said his favorite color was "Happy"

Dr. Grey's position is "(Mad) Doctor", she was considered a prodigy at age 11 when she diagnosed every patient in House M.D. within five minutes of their introduction, and she thinks Grey's Anatomy is "far too trite"

Felix and Locus' names are listed as Unknown in the book, but I do believe their names were revealed in a s14 episode

The counselor advised the director to tell Tex that Alpha was in Blood Gulch to protect him and stop her from investigating the project

Notable Features of Blood Gulch include "Avoid Tucker's Rock at all costs, as it has not been properly sterilized"

BTS from D: The opening shot of Season 6 was created by shooting players moving in different quadrants and combining the shots"

Important events at High Ground, "Washington killed Agent south in cold blood- with a much less cold flamethrower."

Fact from D: "Once a year, Reds and Blues stationed at Rat's Nest still pay tribute to Agent Alabama by sending a flaming mongoose soaring through the night sky."

Donut likes to spend his leisure time in Federal Army Outpost 37, in the jail cells in handcuffs

The statistics pages, 9 pages of stats from number of robots murdered (112) to Church's sniper rifle accuracy (9.3%)

Bow Chicka Bow Wow was first said in season 4, and Simmons never sucked up in season 12, season one had the most "son of a bitch"s at 14 Donut made 32 accidental innuendos, and the odd number of pedals in vehicles was called out on five occasions Tucker has the highest kill count of all reds and blues (counting wash and Tex), at 24 followed by donut at 22 and Tex at 21, Caboose is the lowest at 2 raised by Lopez and 3 and Church at 8 Sarge has threatened/wished death on Grif 56 times, and Donut has nearly died five times Seasons 2 and 9 had the lowest kill counts Carolina had the highest flash back kills at 68 in season ten, and the twins are tied at 23 kills in season nine

Tex's attack to free Alpha was 2 years before Blood Gulch, the great war ended 1 year after Alpha arrived in Blood Gulch and after the Wyoming incident in Blood Gulch (where they tried to kidnap junior), Chorus takes place 5 years after Alpha initially arrived in Blood Gulch

The mission books has adorable illustrations (they look like Caboose's guides from s14)

There's a mindmap for all the Leonard and Allison iterations and they they connect

Sarge has a guide on how to build a robot, scented lube is preferred, along with mad scientist goggles, a cup of baking soda, and seventeen tablespoons of sugar

More silly plans with fun diagrams

Donut's diary, D tells us that Donut washes his underwear on tuesday's

Caboose's Wisdom section on: feelings, relationships, army etiquette (including gems like crayons don't work as bullets. Use markers.), life, and the reds and blues

Simmons made a text based adventure games

BTS from D, the story of Simmons refusing to go to the Vegas Quadrant is a reference to Gus Sorola (Simmons' VA) refusing to go to Las Vegas with the rest of the rvb creators

You can find the case against Sergeant Grif from the reds at rat's Nest (he was selling red team's ammo to Caboose before he was locked up in the brig, Private Jones wore a wire tap to help the red's catch Grif's under the table dealings)

Leonard met Allison in the mess hall during basic training where he pissed off another recruit and Allison had to save his ass (Church was right, Carolina get's her temper from her mom)

I'm Church. private Church. Leonard. Leonard Church." the only thing I cared about in that moment was that she knew my name. She smiled. Her smile could light up solar systems. "Kind of a funny name. Church." "It's Jewish."

I spent the rest of basic chasing after her. In some ways, I never stopped.

Here's hoping non of our beloved idiots die in season 19! I mean, I know Church will be gone, but the others... they deserve a happy ending.

Also I miss the freelancers and AI...

[jade-kyo]

RvB 20th rewatch: s4

Getting closer to done with the Blood Gulch Chronicles!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Love that Caboose knows Church so well he can predict what he’ll do next 😂

THE FIRST BOW CHICKA BOW WOW

Tex is so silly… she’s the only one aware of the horrors 🙂

Ooooh Andy… you were truly something

“And you’re the only one who saw it… just like signs of Donuts heterosexuality!” Absolutely one of my favorite jokes in the whole show holy shit

“Well Church you’re kind of a long way from hero” I am in agony

Watching Donut and Simmons fight over the ghost in the background has me cackling

DONUT SCREAM LIKE A WOMAN

“You know if I killed a ghost would it come back as a ghost of a ghost” and Church was not about to test that theory 😂

Fun fact I just found out from the s3 commentary: crouchasourus, the name Andy suggests for the alien, was a reference to an email they received from a fan suggesting a name for the “dinosaur” (the fan didn’t know it was an alien)

“And my bullshit meter agrees” Sheila you will always be famous to me

Ah yes Simmons first breakdown

Andy

I respect Tex being horny on main

“We’re both just a couple of lovers” “that sounded kinda gay dude” yet another heavily quoted line for me

Love Church trying to have a genuine moment with Tucker and just giving up

Nah bro Grif straight telling Simmons to talk to him more aggressively I’m losing it

Tucker being all cowardly boy doesn’t know he’s gonna be the best of them, he doesn’t know that he’s gonna be leader, he doesn’t know he’s gonna be a hero. Crying.

“A threesome with cheerleaders” another vocal stim right there

Ah yes Grif and his love for Simmons hole

God Church is such a fucking dork. He just like me fr.

NAH I NEVER NOTICED SARGE RAG DOLLING IN THE BACKGROUND AGJAJSGDJD

And Donut becomes Church’s favorite red

“I think you might be projecting” man even Leonard “most repressed man alive” Church knew Simmons was gay

LOVE Church and Sheila just fucking with Simmons

“Or it’s a key all the time and when you stick it in people it unlocks their death” Caboose my beloved

“Is he republican?” Caboose really coming in here with the best political joke in the series

“Could’ve just thrown it on the floor and cut out the middle man” again a very quoted line for me

“Officer hot pants” Simmons says that like he’s into it

“I am allergic to things I don’t want to do” me too Caboose

Preggers

“I do not want to catch pregnancy”

Grif genuinely trying to cheer up Sarge is weirdly sweet 😂

GET CRUSHED DONUT

Ahhh Blood Gulch is so silly! They’re doomed 🙂 also I was half asleep towards the end of the season so if my notes seem less coherent that’s why 😂

[rocketboots564]

I decided to write more of my first time reactions and thoughts to rvb Season 9!

This should (hopefully) be the third and final part for season 9.

Season 9 part 3:

Imagine showing up to your funeral, and they don’t even give you a respectable eulogy… They just talk shit about how you talked a lot…

Yeah I would kill all of them… Simmons is 10 times the man I’ll ever be.

Oh so Maine straight up stole the grenade launcher! Kinda like he did with AI units… history is a full circle once again

You know… I feel like the director should’ve given them equipment just in case the sarcophagus thing was heavy. Which it is. The Director is a really bad boss

Understatement of the century I know

Washington I’m 80% sure half the things you freelancers do is improvise… and honestly I’d be sick of it too

Oh yeah Carolina let’s just fucking kick out friends off of a SEVERAL STORIES TALL BUILDING. You’re lucky you have that armor.

The freelancers do heists the same way I played Payday 2: Five minutes of stealth before going “nah fuck this” and blasting the brains of some poor shmuck all over the walls

I think you SHOULD feel bad for the people down there, you tossed MAINE at them Carolina.

You chose to use the flamethrower… inside a building… no wonder the freelancers kick your guy’s asses on the reg… yall are fucking idiots

DONT YOU DISRESPECT THAT GUN IT SAVED OUR ASS IN REACH. Bouncy gun is fun

“That bit with the purple plane? That was just showing off,” well when your number one in Freelancer ranked mode you might as well act like it Wash

You know Carolina kinda acts like Tex a bit. No wonder they’re at odds. There’s only room for one dommy mommy bisexual badass in this show

Oh it’s not a bomb… it’s worse… it’s a big ass fucking lazer

AHSBBFMSM THE JPEG EXPLOSION is KILING ME

Yeah Carolina I bet it is karma… deserved Karma

NOT THE XYLOPHONE!

CAROLINA HITTING THE FUCKING Sonic Adventure 2 CITY ESCAPE “talk about low budget flights. No food or movies? I’m outta here!” ON THE SARCOPHAGUS

I’m surprised Project Freelancer wasn’t investigated and shut down earlier with how much property damage and civilians they endanger.

Tex being responsible about the about the team is a nice change of pace–oh she was paid…. makes sense.

Simmons can play the Banjo? When’s his new single dropping?

Grif be supportive of your Brofriend (Bro + Boyfriend = Brofriend)

Wow… imagine your best friend being closer with your ex/not-ex girlfriend than you.

Couldn’t be me Church… mainly cause I’m gay and don’t have a girlfriend

Sarge, the planet is quite literally breaking apart, and your plan is to blow it up… honestly I’m not even surprised.

It’s actually astounding how absolutely this heist went to shit… and quickly too.

“We had to learn to care for our equipment” Tex says. Cut to five minutes ago where she drove a motorcycle through a glass wall.

HOLY SHIT MAINE CAN TAKE SOME DAMAGE! I mean I know they’re wearing Spartan armor and all, but JEEZE.

I love how even the freelancers almost (emphasis on almost) fumble their stuff like the red and blue teams.

Like when Carolina juggles the briefcase in the air before getting a hold of it, and then immediately getting kicked back.

Damn… more Carolina and Tex beef.

How much do I wanna bet Grif’s plan is gonna backfire hilariously?

Yes it backfired horribly… because now Andy exists… again

Oh hey Delta was born! Great! Which means Alpha/Church was just tortured to the point that his mind split…. Not great…

“We’re the good guys? Right?” Oh… you’re concerned you’re not? What clued you in, the insane property damage, murder, or endangered civilians?

“I forget you…” AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS SO SAD YET SO GOOD.

And they brought him back… that’s actually really fucking funny.

THEYRE GONNA KILL THE DIRECTOR?! AWWW YES THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS IT COMING.

Conclusion: YES I CANT WAIT TO WATCH SEASON 10

[banamine-bananime]

the forum werewolf game ever. of all time: day four part two

Start reading here!

I feel bad that I haven't included anything from Andy's player because she's such a delight but she was busy and posting infrequently so everything was pretty to-the-point-of-the-game. But I do want you to share a giggle with me over this human ray of sunshine getting Andy's role:

What if s19 brings back Andy but he's woke now

Lopez is getting sick and tired of Church's treestump ghost:

Meanwhile, Grif and Simmons opened a PM together last night and immediately started talking to each other more than they post on thread ["Grif and Simmons are funny because no one made you develop that kinda codependency with a coworker" textpost]. They've role revealed to each other (aww). Grif (whose player started watching rvb because of this game :D) explains his ability to Simmons in gif format:

On thread, Grif and Simmons are sticking the fuck together:

And in Grif's PM with with Donut:

awwww

If you're wondering, yes, the Caboose/Church nonsense fight is still raging, but there's also good analysis going on, and Caboose posts:

We're SO back.

Church:

... well, church is dead and can't vote.

Lopez has some fun smugly posting cryptic stuff related to his night results, which he has misinterpreted (Tex's grave having already been disturbed when he went to try to give her ability to O'Malley).

Andy:

Lopez:

Mod getting in her daily dose of trolling:

Tucker:

There's some panicked vote-shuffling in the final minutes of the day, and:

O'Malley:

Tucker:

Donut:

Sheila:

Mod:

Donut:

Me:

Sheila:

Me:

... okay, 2021-me, I forgot about that fake writeup-real writeup pair and it cracked me the fuck up. It's almost like I have the exact same sense of humour as me.

Sheila:

Next: Night 4

[rubykgrant]

(Funny thing I thought of to kinda wrap up a summary for the next chunk of my RVB story-line, and I wanted to share it out of context~)

Grif; Great, cool, awesome- Sarge runs off to do military crap again as if we didn’t just get done wasting our lives with that, Simmons’ parents freaking appear out of NOWHERE and he acts like they’re Mother and Father of the Year just for speaking to him, TEX shows up because she isn’t dead EVIDENTLY, and now there’s all this complicated angst with her and Carolina and Carolina’s stupid dead dad- sorry Carolina, it’s not your fault he sucked- I just thought we were finished learning all this damn Blue Team Drama! What the hell is the next bomb that’s gonna get dropped on us?

Caboose; *sadly* Awww...

Grif; What’s his problem?

Tucker; I think you made him remember-

Caboose; I miss Andy!

[symbioteburnout]

🌿

-||[Send 🌿 to accidentally get caught under the mistletoe with my muse.]||-

@thestupidmeanone

She was beginning to regret accepting Church's invite to his little Christmas party. Partying with the Reds and Blues was less of a party and more of an ongoing struggle to stay alive. Between Sarge trying to blast everything with a shotgun, Caboose 'helping', and Tucker making repeated passes at her. She could have hidden under the table, but Grif had already taken that spot, apparently to hide from Sarge.

One of her latest attempts to dodge Tucker wound up putting her under the mistletoe, and damn it all, Tucker noticed too! Quick, grab the nearest sucker, ANYONE but him! Out of the corner of her eye, Andi noticed light blue armor.

Please be Carolina or Wash!

She expected to hear Tucker whining about how he failed to score again (though if she'd managed to snatch Carolina, he probably would have enjoyed seeing that TOO much). Instead, the only noise she heard from Tucker was a resounding 'WHAT THE FUCK, CHURCH!'

Church?

Andi opened her eyes to the realization that, yes, she'd just locked lips with Church. God she hoped he understood this was just to get Tucker off her back. She casually flipped off the aqua armored trooper.

"Um... Merry Christmas?" Her cheeks flushed red as she pulled back.

Only way this could get worse was if she got thrashed by Tex or Carolina

[correctrvbquotes]

Andy: Yeah, you're givin' me a headache.

Simmons: Andy, is that you?

Andy: No, I'm the other talkin' bomb. Francis. Pleased ta meet ya, ya dickhead.

Simmons: I thought you were busy helping the enemy.

Andy: Nah, they didn't need me any more. Apparently that revived guy learned enough alien language to get by. And then it was "what have you done for me lately?"

Grif: Hey, what was that deal they were talking about when I was all drugged out?

Donut: Grif, I'm prouda you. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

Grif: Fuck off, Donut.

Donut: Baby steps, Grif.

Andy: That new alien is here to find the old one, and he revived the blue guy to help him. But then somethin' happened to him. I don't know what; started actin' all, funky.

Simmons: The alien revived him.

Andy: Yeah. They don't treat life and death the same way we do. Fact that little guy that everyone thinks-

Sarge: We don't have time for this. Let's go, men.

Andy: Wait, take me with you!

Sarge: Andy, we're going into battle unmanned, low on ammo, and with no support. What use could we possibly have for a bomb?

[radiantrookie]

Feats of the Reds and Blues

Sarge knocked out Tex

Donut killed Tex

Simmons mapped out the Teleporter Nexus

Sarge and Caboose fought the Zealots

They all survived a 10 megaton bomb which Sarge built

Caboose lifted Andy the Bomb

Tucker not only survived being impregnated by an alien but also became their chosen one

Caboose survived losing half a gallon of blood

Donut survived being crushed by a space ship

Tucker killed Wyoming

They toppled Project Freelancer

Lopez built a holographic chamber in seconds

Caboose revived the Epsilon AI

Tucker held off a group of mercs

Sarge outsmarted Wash

Grif survived an uncountable nut beatings from Tex

The Reds and Tucker killed The Meta

Donut survived being shot and bled out for a year

They defeated an army of Tex Drones

Caboose rebuilt a mech (Freckles)

Caboose is incapable of feeling fear

Caboose was unaffected when gravity was increased by tenfold

They killed Felix

Donut burned down an entire water park (Simulation)

Tucker punched a tank repeatedly until it exploded (Simulation)

They defeated the Blues and Reds (Simulation)

Tucker defeated a giant cyclops (Simulation)

Simmons figured out that the Cosmic Powers were actually AI pretending to be Gods (Simulation)

Donut defeated O'Malley Doc (Simulation)

Donut outsmarted Chrovos and Genkins (Simulation)

Lopez survived a black hole (Simulation)

Tucker became the second Meta

Caboose revived Tex II

They defeated the second Meta

[rvb-relationship-royale]

RVB Romantic Relationship Royale- Round 1, Part 2, Poll 32

[leonardalphachurch]

unrebloggable bc this is not finished but do you all want to see my attempts at definitively proving that all of seasons 1-10 takes place on the same planet. it’s. So Much. under a read more bc it’s LONG.

okay so like a month ago i made this chart:

sorry if you can’t read this it’ll all be explained anyway. anyway here’s what i wrote today. when i made the chart i checked references but today was 100% from memory which is why there’s no episode numbers lol. note that i’m using the map names for zanzibar, high ground and rat’s nest, though those are not their canon names. i’ll probably replace them if i ever finish this.

BLOOD GULCH -> RAT’S NEST: In season 6, episode , Sarge leaves Blood Gulch and arrives to Rat’s Nest on a warthog

(NOTE: Wash is explicitly stated to have to downgrade his armor to go back to BGC, while Sarge seemingly upgrades without comment. Is this a diegetic change? Shrug.)

RAT’S NEST -> BLOOD GULCH: In season 6 episode , Sarge, Grif, and Simmons leave Rat’s Nest and arrive to Zanzibar on a warthog.

ZANZIBAR -> BLOOD GULCH: In season 3, episode , Sarge, Grif, Simmons and Donut leave Zanzibar and arrive to Blood Gulch on a warthog and a ghost, respectively. In season 4, episode , Church leaves Zanzibar and arrives to Blood Gulch presumably on foot.

ZANZIBAR -> QUEST: Throughout season 4, Tucker, Caboose, Andy and the alien walk from Zanzibar through all the various locations associated with the quest (Great Burning Plains, Great Swamp, Great Freezing Plains).

QUEST -> BLOOD GULCH: In season 4 episode , the quest crew leave from the final quest location and arrive back to Blood Gulch presumably on foot.

ZANZIBAR -> DESERT: In season 10, episode , the entire BGC leave Zanzibar and arrive to the desert on warthogs.

DESERT -> STORAGE: In season 8, episode , Caboose and Epsilon walk/float from the desert to the offsite storage unit. In episode , Sarge, Grif, Simmons and Tucker also NEED TO CHECK THIS I FORGET

STORAGE -> SIDEWINDER: In season 8, episode , Tex and Church NEED TO CHECK . In episode , Wash, Meta, and Doc also NEED TO CHECK on a warthog.

(NOTE: Sidewinder is stated o be an ice planet in season 1, episode , as well as seemingly shown to be an ice planet in season 10 episode . Whether or not Sidewinder is on a separate planet is up for interpretation.)

DESERT -> YORK DEATH: In season 10, episode , Carolina and Epsilon leave the desert and arrive to the site of York’s death on a mongoose.

YORK DEATH -> NORTH DEATH: In Recovery One, episode , Wash leaves York’s death site and arrives to North’s death site on a warthog

NORTH DEATH -> CITY (R1): In Recovery One, episode , Wash and South leave North’s death site via warthog, which we later see with them when they are in the city. NEED TO CHECK THIS.

(NOTE: The city where York and Tex meet in Out of Mind is never shown to be traveled to or from, therefore cannot be confirmed to be on the same planet. I believe it is a valid interpretation to assume the city in Recovery One is the same as the city in Out of Mind, but this is speculative and unconfirmed.)

YORK DEATH -> VALHALLA: In season 10, episode , Carolina and Epsilon leave York’s death site and arrive to Valhalla on a mongoose

VALHALLA -> DESERT: In season 7, episode , Sarge, Simmons, and Caboose travel from Valhalla to the desert via warthog, through the water. In season 8, episode , NEED TO CHECK

DESERT -> VALHALLA: In season 8, episode , Sarge and Grif drive from the desert to Valhalla via Warthog. In episode , Church and Caboose NEED TO CHECK. In season 10, the BGC travels from the desert to Valhalla via warthog. NEED TO CHECK ALL OF THIS

VALHALLA -> STORAGE: In season 10 they go from Valhalla to the storage unit but i really don’t remember the exact sequence. they end in valhalla, so do they go back and forth? NEED TO CHECK

VALHALLA -> COMMAND: In season 6, episode , the guys travel from Valhalla to Command via tank.

(NOTE: There is the possibility to connect Command to Zanzibar, though it’s speculative. In season 10, episode , the cast travels from the place the UNSC is storing Epsilon to Zanzibar via warthogs. Both Command and the UNSC storage facility use parts of the Halo map “Standoff” to portray their exteriors. However, the UNSC storage facility uses the map “Orbital” for its interior while Command uses a variety of other maps. For example part of command uses the map “High Ground,” which is the base Church was at for 14 months between seasons 5 and 6. This shows that simply using the parts of the same map is not enough to be considered proof of two places being the same location. Therefore it cannot be confirmed whether or not it should be Command or a separate storage location that connects to Zanzibar.)

VALHALLA -> HIGH GROUND: In season 6, episode , Church, Wash, and Caboose travel from Valhalla to High Ground via mongooses. NEED TO CHECK

HIGH GROUND -> VALHALLA: In season 6, episode , Church states that he, Wash, and Caboose walked from High Ground to Valhalla.

HIGH GROUND -> ZANZIBAR: In season 6, episode , The Meta leaves High Ground on a mongoose which is later seen at Zanzibar. NEED TO CHECK

The places that remain unconnected to the rest of the planet are Battle Creek and the city in Out of Mind. Battle Creek is only accessed via teleporter and the OoM city has already been explained. There’s also the teleporter nexus but I don’t consider that a. place. though anyway it is only accessible via teleporter.

so uh. yeah. this is what i do with my time.

[jade-kyo]

RvB 20th rewatch: s9

This isn’t one of my favorite seasons but alas I still have a good time with it

Church dramatically monologuing to himself and restarting when he gets interrupted is so real bro just like me fr

NORTH AND SOUTH!!!!!

Honestly I know this is quite literally the point but the leaderboard is INSANE like you’re fighting a war and trying to come up with any means to win and you take your god damn super soldiers and make them fight each other for approval. Absolutely DERANGED.

CAROLINA!!!!! MY BABYGIRL!!!!

Also love how she’s introduced as camouflaged and in black armor to parallel Tex

“Sorry about the mess fellas” I LOVE HER I LOVER HER I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH SHES SO SILLY LET HER BE SILLY!!!!!

Man the game has these little flashy lights on the armor and once you notice it it’s so distracting lol

NORTH YOU BADASS!!!!!!! AND THE FACE REVEAL ALSHKAHSKDHKSJSK

G o d this music is so good

GOD THE LEADERBOARD IS DERANGED

Man Carolina cares about her team- she immediately offers to talk to South…

So the freelancers are just the reverse of the reds and blues. They start out as allies and friends and slowly become enemies and backstab each other all in the name of becoming the best

Meanwhile the reds and blues start out as enemies and try to kill each other regularly and end up coming together over time both because they genuinely come to care about each and because they’re losers who need each other to survive cause they’re not capable of doing so on their own

CT!!!!!!

CT really was the only one smart enough to see through the leaderboard bullshit

OMG TUCKER TEACHING ABOUT GIRLS AKHSKAJS THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE BITS IN THE SHOW ITS SO FUNNY

I think Caboose is the only person here that actually gets bitches

“I have been preparing for this role my whole life”

Feminist Caboose

“I think the working class should uprise against the rich people” Church you are a treasure

GOD THIS ENTIRE BIT HAS SO MANY GOOD MOMENTS

Wait…. Is Grif yellow?? It may just be the lighting or something but he looks really yellow this season… IS GRIF YELLOW BECAUSE CHURCH REMEMBERS HIM WRONG OMG AKSHKAHSKDJ

Tucker really the one to call out Church for constantly bringing Tex back and how absolutely wild that is

TEX!!!!!!! GOD SHES SO PERFECT AND HOT AND SEXY

Carolina cares so much I’m gonna vomit

I wonder what drunk Caboose would be like

Not even a minute and Chex already has the divorced vibes

The andersmith bit is also one of my favorites

AND THE COW BIT

Alpha…auogagahh

“Andersmith, I kept my promise… you have been avenged…” Caboose you are a treasure

Yorkalina you will always be famous to me

“Probably the sound of you being an idiot” // “oh yeah… dick biscuit” quoted line

JINKIES ITS SHARKFACE

“Shut up counselor” that was a very Church moment…

FALLIIIING TOWAAAARDS THE SKYYYYY

Wash is so silly

Tex is so fucking sexy

CAROLINA IS SO FREAKING PRETTY ALSHLAHSLSHKD

ANDY!!!!!

“Yeah I know how to lift jackass I’ve been carrying this entire team since I got here”

DELTA!!!!!

Agony

I am in agony

Chex my beloved

“I forget you”

Kill me

Church fr better than me I would not be able to let go of a hottie like Tex

CABOOSE IS GOD

I do wonder how if Church knew that it was a rescue and not the end of the world if he would’ve made a different decision

“You’ve given me everything, I would do anything for you” agony

CAROLINA AND CHURCH MY BELOVED

I enjoyed this season way more than I remember enjoying it in the past- but now onto season 10… god I love season 10