#why did you give a bomb and a tank body image issues??????

[leonardalphachurch]

i’m sad about the amount characters in rvb who have weight issues now

[sunnys-rewatch-blog]

S1, E3

"My Name is Trouble"

A lot to unpack in this opener. I'm glad to know Hanna Marin also takes her shoes off in the movie theater.

What does Melissa need her ring for so urgently in the middle of the night?

Is it supposed to be implied that Tom also cheated on his wife?

Lucas's "I ❤️ 🍎 pi" shirt is so cute and nerdy. I love it.

Ezra and Aria acting like Hollis is a distant land of make-believe. This relationship is still weird if he isn't her teacher. It might also still be illegal.

Jason is getting the "creep" edits, now, and it's getting hard to determine what of his interactions are what he's actually doing and what of it is there to just look weird. I am also too used to finding out the red herrings are just red herrings, by now. It's monotonous.

Spencer's "Why are you talking to me like Ben Franklin?" had me dying for a good couple minutes, so props to the writers.

Okay, now it looks like it was pretty common knowledge that Jason was partying it up, so it's surprising to me that they didn't already know he was wasted all summer, and also that they've never mentioned this before, in-cannon. Is it somehow not a part of his "reputation?" In a town like this, a man with this much "wild party energy" should have been at the top of the list of suspects, and he literally lived there. In the house. Where Alison was found buried in the back yard (*allegedly). The house of the backyard where Alison was (*allegedly) buried alive. Alison's backyard.

Why the fuck do they not already have fences or gates or something to separate the back yards?

This flashback scene keeps sending me. Alison biting into this apple, I don't know why but I'm fucking dying. Wonder what was on her mind.

"Your family has the worst apples!" Omg what an insult! Maybe she just doesn't like Red Delicious.

I don't think an answer was given in-cannon for this scene where Alison starts crying looking at her reflection; if there is, I'll come across it soon enough. It does raise a lot of pertinent questions, though. Could she have been worried about her brother? Did seeing her reflection trigger body image issues? Did someone actually hurt/violate her? She had that sports jacket on to cover up a skirt and tank top- was she trying to avoid someone's gaze? She doesn't avoid being around Emily in this revealing outfit, presumably because Emily is not a threat. If it was supposed to be cold I would think she'd also wear pants. Maybe asking questions I can't be certain will even be answered is dumb. Maybe she really was just thinking about her grandmother.

Hanna trying to wingman Lucas is kinda sweet.

I feel so bad for Spencer right now. She must feel so alone. I feel bad for Emily, too. I know how this whole "moving" thing ends, but presumably, they're behind the fourth wall and don't know. Don't they think Emily will have enough time away from the others after the move? I don't know why none of them have brought this up as an appeal.

Why is it that, whenever anyone tries to speak for "the universe" (or god or whatever), the message is always about letting something go? It's always "Maybe the universe is trying to tell you to patch things up," never "to tell you to stop letting people back in after they hurt you" or "buy the bath bombs, you deserve it, treat yourself." For the record, I do think Aria should apologize to Jenna, even though that won't make it right. Ezra's analysis of this situation just doesn't sit right with me- maybe because it's super invalidating and presumptive, and ignores that there are some things that can never actually be made right. The fact that Ezra sees the situation with Aria and Jenna as an "opportunity" to do something that probably can't be done gives him that "teenage mentality" look. Not everything in your life is a sign that you should "let it go." Sometimes, shit just happens. Sometimes, it isn't fucking about you.

Spencer trying to convince Toby to leave his job is really pissing me off. I know Jason is the new "sketchy boi" but so far they've been right about this stuff zero times. She's asking him to turn down the only job he could get because she "has a hunch" and it really strikes me as selfish. I don't think she realizes how close "There will be other jobs" is to "Kid can pick up balls anywhere." Poor Toby is living at home with a girl who SA-ed him repeatedly, he got bullied and harassed out of high school, and he can't even keep a job in this town.

Why the fuck would you bring out the trash from inside and, instead of putting it in your actual dumpster, throw it on the ground so that it explodes and your trash goes fucking everywhere? I desperately want this to be a prank of some kind but it's just something fucking weird he did. I'm so annoyed just looking at the trash blowing around, what a pain in the ass to pick it up.

Would they stop trying to find reasons to put Pam Fields on screen?

I hate (HATE HATE HATE) these awful plotlines with the children of divorced or separated parents watching them do couple-y things. I cannot relate to the longing for your parents to be together and they're already doing this with one of the protagonists. We don't need it twice.

I know what Jenna's talking about with the light and the water. My parents always used to tell me not to open my eyes under water; the chlorine probably isn't good for them but obviously neither is fire.

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Always

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Koge Naegi (OC)

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Hurt / Comfort / Romance / Domestic

Story Warnings: Topics of Depression / Anxiety / Body Image / Eating Disorder / Suicide, cursing, sex, alcohol

Chapter 2: Always, I’m Here

1 | 2 | 3

Chapter Rating: Mature Warnings: Cursing, Arguments,  Topics of Depression / Anxiety / Body Image / Eating Disorder / Suicide Words: 3,132

Bakugou spent the next few hours cleaning, both little child bodies coated in paint and the living room that had been completely splattered. At this point, this was the worst he had seen of Matsuki’s uncontrollable destruction, besides a little red mark here and there. It was on the coffee table, in the area rug, on the couch, throw pillows, and blankets. He was even positive that he could see a tiny little speck up on the ceiling, but the thought of dragging out a ladder to get up there wasn’t appealing after all the other cleaning was done. 

After bringing on the children to help him fold the laundry in the dryer, they were packed up for a weekend stay at their grandparents, and he drove them all the way to his childhood home. He figured that it would be best for the children to be away from the house for a couple of days, that way he could have plenty of undistracted time with Koge to work out what was wrong. How exactly he was going to try and get it out of her, he wasn’t sure. One of the things that frustrated him about her was that she had a tendency to hide her feelings or emotions until they blew up out of control, usually just waiting for things to resolve themselves instead of taking the first step to fix them. 

She wasn’t always like this, as she usually spoke her mind the instant something bothered her. Though, those things were usually trivial, like how she didn’t like the way he left his socks all over the house, or that he needed to shave his prickly facial hair when it got just a tad too long. But when it came to big, life or relationship changing issues, she usually would let it fester until it popped, sending her into an emotional spiral that was difficult to get her pulled out of. He knew this was going to be one of those times, though he hoped that bringing her favorite takeout meal back home with him would be a good first step. 

How quiet the house was when he first arrived back was a bit off putting, as he had grown used to constant noise. There was no hint or inkling that there was any life in the home, except for the single light upstairs that he hadn’t left on when he took the children out. With a sigh to prep himself, he trudged his way up the stairs with the food in his hands. “Utsuro? Are you up?” 

There was no answer, but there was a soft shuffling of clothing inside of Matsuki’s bedroom. Walking past the open master bedroom with just a quick glance inside, he came to a stop outside of his son's room, watching for a moment as Koge silently put away laundry in the little dresser. Since her back was to him, Bakugou gave a small knock on the doorframe, though she didn’t give much indication that she realized he was there. “Utsuro, what are you doing?” 

With a glance over her shoulder, Koge only continued her work. “Putting away laundry.” Her tone of voice was quite bland, as if she were forcing herself into an emotionless, void state of mind to keep herself in check. “Thank you for getting it out of the dryer.” 

“Yeah, sure…” Frowning, Bakugou shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Utsuro, I told you not to worry about that stuff, I’d take care of it.” 

“It’s okay. I felt useless sitting around after you left with the kids, so… I just needed to keep myself occupied.” 

“I think that’s enough for tonight. Come with me, I brought us food. I’m fucking starving, and from the warzone I walked into, I bet you didn’t get to eat well today, either.” Bakugou held up one of the bags as Koge paused, letting it swing from side to side when she finally turned to see it. Her expression was emotionless, as usual, but Bakugou could still see that there was something else. Just the simple fact that she didn’t even crack a hint of a smile as she approached him made his stomach twist, wanting to just blurt out his questions immediately. Instead, he plopped the bag of her food into her hands as she offered them, before kissing the top of her head. “That’s what I thought. You showered? You smell good.” 

Holding the food carefully, Koge made her way towards their bedroom with Bakugou in tow. “I took a bath, actually… I used that bath bomb you had gotten me a while ago. And a few drops of lavender oil, just to try and relax.” Bakugou was sure to shut their bedroom door behind him, able to smell the scents even stronger now that they were closer to their ensuite. 

“Ah, nice, I’m glad you got to finally use it. That must also be why your skin is all… glittery.” Setting his food down on the dresser, Bakugou set out to get himself some comfortable clothes, having still been in the outfit he arrived home in. With that on his mind, he couldn’t help but notice something particular about the way Koge was dressed. Though, it wasn’t just right now that he had noticed it. Every night for the past few months, she had been very… conservative. Usually, she was fine with just a tank top and shorts or leggings, and when it was just the two of them together, she would wear even less and be content. 

But lately, including right now, her attire was baggy clothing, and the glitter on her skin that he had mentioned had only been visible from her elbows down. One of his large t-shirts and a pair of her sweatpants covered the rest, and he was surprised that he hadn’t actually paid much attention to this change. 

Deciding to still wait to pry, he changed clothes and flopped to sit beside her, food on his lap. “Finally, some time to eat! Is it alright that I had my parents watch the kids for the weekend?” Bakugou watched Koge as he waited for a reply, though he felt confused as he watched her pick through the food to pull out anything that was fried. That was odd, as Koge usually went absolutely crazy over the fried calamari that was mixed in with her typical veggies and rice. 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Her response was what he expected, but her further sectioning off the rice from the veggies was not. Turning to face her with his legs crossed, Bakugou began to open his food up, deciding that this was a good change to question what was going on. 

“Uhm… Is that not what you wanted? I thought that was your favorite dish from Kubos.” Her slightly furrowed brow and flushing cheeks told him that he had truly caught on to something, so he continued. “I know I didn’t ask, but… This is what you always pick anyway.” 

“It’s just… It’s not very healthy, right?” Although she must have been starving at this point in the night, she ate with timid, small bites. Not following her example, Bakugou ate without restriction, nearly shoveling the seafood pasta into his mouth. 

“Healthy?” Bakugou spoke with his mouth full. “Utsuro, I know you’ve always eaten healthier, and so have I, but you’ve never worried about that with this food. Look, I even got you the crab poppers.” Tapping his chopsticks against the already open small box on the bed beside them, he was very surprised to see that the rice balls filled with crab meat were still perfectly intact. Koge’s brow only creased further, avoiding looking at him as she cowered down a bit into herself, putting down the carrot she was about to eat. 

“I haven’t been eating things like this for weeks. You hadn’t noticed?” There was an almost accusatory tone in her voice that instantly further soured Bakugou’s mood, even though he was trying to be chipper to bring her happiness up. Swallowing the food in his mouth, Bakugou used a napkin to wipe his lips clean. 

“No, Utsuro, I hadn’t. You put the same shit on your plate that we do ours every day. I assume you don’t eat everything each night because you’re always quick to get full.” 

“You can still be so oblivious sometimes…” 

Although she spoke so quietly Bakugou could barely hear it, what she had said was quick to tick him off. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? If I’m oblivious to something, it’s because you hide it.” Taking one of the ignored crab poppers, he plopped it into his mouth, struggling to find patience with her attitude. “Seriously, if something is wrong, just come out and tell me.” 

“It doesn’t involve you, Katsuki.” 

Now he was not only irritated, but seriously confused and near offended. “What the hell do you mean it doesn’t involve me? Koge, you’re my wife, if something is wrong, I want to try and help you. I always have. What’s the deal? Are you overworked? We can get help for the kids or for the house if you need it. I’ve offered that before, many times.” 

“You want to focus on your career right now, and I need to focus on what to do here. That’s all that needs to happen.” 

“When did I ever say that I wanted to focus only on my career?” 

“When you started working more hours.” 

“I started working more hours because you said you wanted to quit working. Was there some miscommunication there, because I’m pretty sure we agreed on that. If it was too much for you to be here by yourself, then you should have said something sooner.” 

“Then you’d just feel guilty.” 

“No, I think that you would just feel insignificant if you gave up. Out of anyone, you think I wouldn’t be able to understand that? There’s no shame in asking for help, Koge, I’d gladly give it if you would just tell me. But don’t start blaming me for everything that’s wrong, that’s fucked.” Silence fell between them as Koge hung her head, timidly picking at her food, moving pieces of vegetables from one spot to another. 

“I’m… I’m not trying to blame you, Katsuki, I just… I just don’t want you to have to take on this burden on top of everything else. If I could just stay strong, then eventually it would go away. But I can’t… I’m weak.” Eyes welling up with tears, Koge placed her food and chopsticks down on the bed. “I didn’t want to bother you with any of it… You didn’t seem to notice, anyway, so…” 

“There you go again. I didn’t notice because you were hiding it. That doesn’t even make any sense. You’re hiding it because you don’t want me to notice, but then you’re upset that I haven’t noticed?! I may know you like the back of my hand, Koge, but I can’t read your damn mind.” Bakugou ate another crab popper, trying to bring himself down a peg. “I have noticed things that are weird, but when I tried to mention them, you played them off as one thing or another. You want me to tell you all the things I’ve noticed? Would that prove that I’m not ignoring you, like you seem to think?” 

Koge didn’t acknowledge his question, but her silence gave him enough leeway to go on. 

“Fine. Like I said, I have noticed that you’re eating less, but you never ate a lot to begin with, so I figured it was just that. I’ve noticed that you’re constantly exhausted in one way or another. Too exhausted to go to events, too exhausted to make love, too exhausted to allow people to come over. You haven’t been taking care of yourself, you wear the same clothes for days at a time, you won’t even hardly let me touch you without seeming uncomfortable. You’re always nearly covered from head to toe in baggy clothes. You don’t laugh or smile anymore.” 

As he admitted all these things, Bakugou felt his own emotions rising as he came to realize what all of this could mean. Koge, the woman he had adored since childhood and loved with every inch of his soul, was depressed. With all these issues and points that continued to roll off his tongue, it just became more and more obvious. He didn’t know just yet how deeply rooted it was, but at the very least, she was unhappy with aspects of her life that used to bring her joy. Their home, their lifestyle, their love, their children, their friends and family. Things that she used to be so passionate about were now just a thorn in her side, bringing her down further and further. 

“Koge, you know that all I want is to help you and make you happy. If you’re not, then I want to fix what’s wrong. And I can notice all these things, over and over, but it won’t matter if you won’t let me in.” Bakugou watched as Koge stood, beginning to pace back and forth, which is usually what she did to try and calm herself before she exploded. 

“It’s not that simple, Katsuki. Everything that’s wrong is my problem. I need to try and fix it myself.” 

Bakugou scooted to sit on the edge of the bed, abandoning the food behind him. “And how long have you been trying to do that? It’s been at least four or five months at this point, and I’ve only seen you shut down further and further. That isn’t how you help yourself.” 

“But you already have so much on your shoulders trying to support us, I can’t stand the thought of bringing you down more with my problems.” It was then that Koge finally lost control of the tears that had been welled up in her eyes, though she was quick to try and wipe them away. “I-I’m not worth that.” 

“What? What the hell are you talking about? You know damn well that you are everything to me. I told you, if you need me here to help you or I need to hire help for you, then I’ll do whatever I need to.” 

“I don’t need help, Katsuki, I can handle the children.” 

“You say that, but what I see says otherwise. But I’m not just talking about them. I’m talking about time to help you, to work through the things that are troubling you. I can guess and speculate for hours, but I will never know everything and how to fix it unless you talk to me. Koge, stop pacing and come here.” 

“N-no, no…” Koge shook her head, not even looking at Bakugou as he held a hand out towards her. “I’m not… It’s just not worth--” 

“You were going to say you’re not worth it again. Damn it, Koge, it gets to me to hear you say those things.” With a sigh, Bakugou pinched the corners of his eyes, leaning back with one arm supporting him. “I don’t want to guilt or force you into telling me. But you know that I love you. And you know that I will do anything to help you.” 

“I’m just… I’m just so inadequate.” Seeming to have finally broken, Koge let her arms flop to her side, no longer bothering to try and wipe the tears that poured down her cheeks. “Everything about me is inadequate! I’m not a good enough mother, I’m a shitty wife, I can’t do anything that used to mean so much to me… How can I face anyone with the shitty person I’ve become? How can I face you? My Katsuki, who’s pushed me to where I used to be… I’m ashamed of myself.” 

Struggling to speak behind her sobs, Koge continued to pace, not even able to look at him. “I’ve gotten so out of shape and gained so much weight… I have stretchmarks and I feel like I just sag everywhere. I just hate myself, Katsuki, I don’t know what else to say. I have no hobbies, no aspirations, no goals. I’ve lost myself… The only reason I can make myself get out of bed in the morning is because I have to piss, for fucks sake! It’s not even for my babies anymore!” 

Entire body trembling and heaving with the new onslaught of emotion and sobs, Koge fell to sit on her knees, leaning forward with her forehead to the wooden floor and face hidden in her hands. At first, Bakugou could only sit there, watching his lover wail and cry. He had never seen her like this before, nor did he ever expect that he would. She was always so strong, so emotionally centered and levelheaded that she could always work herself out of slumps. He figured that is what she had tried at first, but the longer it went on, the more it festered, until it was this uncontrollable monster that devoured her whole. Bakugou would never have thought that the issues were this big, that what crippled his lover was something that could take her life. 

At the mere thought of her doing something so extreme to relieve the pain she felt, Bakugou’s eyes and senses began to burn. Standing, he was quick to be at her side, pulling her onto his lap and into his arms. Clutching onto his t-shirt like a vise, Koge continued to cry into his chest, allowing him to hold and cradle her for the first time in weeks. Burying his face into her hair, Bakugou enveloped her into his presence as much as he possibly could. 

Fearful that he would begin to break down if he spoke a single word, he allowed her time to cry it out, stroking her still damp hair softly while rocking very slowly from side to side. 

“I-I’m not wo-worth it! K-Katsuki, you deserve someone s-stronger!” 

“That’s not true, Koge. You are worth everything to me… and there’s no one else in the world I’d rather have. My wife, my best friend… My everything. I’m a fucking idiot for not trying to help you sooner… and I’m sorry. I should never have made you feel so alone. I promised you over four years ago that I’d never let it happen again.” 

Shaking her head, Koge moved her arms to wrap around his torso, squeezing him tightly. “You never did anything to make me feel like this, Katsuki… You tried to help me already, over and over, but I kept you shut out… But I… I can’t do it anymore.” 

“I’m here for you. Anything you need, we’ll do it together.” 

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 092

Last time, Goku reailized he was losing this fight, so he risked everything on a 20x Kaio-ken Kamehameha.   If it worked, great, but if it failed, Goku would be completely exhausted and unable to continue fighting.     Above is a side-by-side comparison of Frieza before and after the attack.    

Yeah, it’s only one image because IT DIDN’T DO ANYTHING.   Goku’s toast.

I think Goku had already decided that Frieza wasn’t bluffing about his true strength, but now there’s absolutely no question.    Frieza’s been half-assing it this whole time, while Goku just went beyond his limits and came up short.    He’ll only get weaker from here.   There’s nothing more he can do.

Elsewhere, Bulma has recovered from getting blown away by Frieza’s power, and she’s caught Captain Ginyu, who got swept along with her.    You know, I’ve often wondered if civilians in Dragon Ball are a lot stronger than real-world people.   You’d assume that Bulma’s about as strong as a typical real-world woman of her height and build, because she’s not a fighter, so there’d be no reason for her to have any superhuman abilities.    But I’m pretty sure if a real person went flying uncontrollably through the air like she did last episode, she wouldn’t have survived without injury.  

I mean, this is presumably where she landed.    It’s not exactly a pile of feathers or anything.    Also, Captain Ginyu did some pretty athletic stuff while he was using her body.   And maybe Bulma works out, but I doubt she’s doing like advanced gymnastics stuff just to stay in shape.    What I’m suggesting is that if Bulma somehow traveled to our world, she could kick Brock Lesnar’s ass.   She’d just slap him and he’d get a concussion or something.

While Goku and the others are demoralized by the failure of his last-ditch attack, Frieza tells a somewhat different story.   He’s not that badly hurt.    All that Kamehameha did was singe his hand.    But it did hurt him, and that makes him upset.  

And that fires him up.   The idea that a mere Saiyan could do even that to him is infuriating, so he charges after Goku in a rage.

I’m not positive, but I think this is the first time Frieza calls a Saiyan “monkey” in the Japanese dub.    Guldo said it first, back in Episode 62, and I think Jeice might have used the term as well, but I’m pretty sure we haven’t seen Frieza say it.   I think the Funimation dub used the slur more often, which I guess fits in with how Linda Young played the character.   Ryusei Nakao has a much more chilling performance in general.    His Frieza makes polite chit-chat, then flips his shit.  Young’s Frieza isn’t so subtle.   Everything she says is tinged with an air of brutal menace, and a lot of her lines included cutting remarks and insensitive jokes at the good guys’ expense.  There was always something really emasculating about her Frieza too.  In one episode she calls Goku “big guy” in a really condescending way, and in another she mocks Ginyu for being hurt over not getting to do the dance of joy.  I’m pretty sure she used the word “monkey” in almost every episode where Frieza mentioned Saiyans.

I’m not sure what to say about Chris Ayres, since I haven’t seen as much of his work.   I feel like I saw some video about the Funimation dub of Kai, where Chris Sabat said they recast Frieza because Young couldn’t deliver the new lines at the pace they needed.   That would make sense, because it feels like Ayres’ Frieza is constantly trying to fit in as many words as he can into a limited amount of time.   Young might be fast enough to do that, but her performance always hinged on the timing, like she was soaking each word in as much contempt and spite as possible.    Ayres’ Frieza is like “Oh I see you seem to be under the mistaken impression that I will let you live as it were but let me assure you that this is hardly the case as I have decided to murder you right here.”   And it’s like I don’t think they needed that many words to get the thought across.   He’s almost like a Big Green Dub character, only with better diction. 

The point I guess I’m making is that Nakao’s Frieza developed over the course of the series.    He started out being ultra-polite and unctuous, then he got snotty and irritated as things stopped going his way, and now he’s finally revealed his naked racism against Saiyans.    Young, and perhaps Ayres, kind of did all of those things at once throughout their performances.    

Make no mistake, Goku’s got nothing left in the tank.   It would be bad enough that the 20x Kaio-ken didn’t get the job done, but on top of that, the Kaio-ken takes a heavy toll on the user.   He’s worse off now than he was two episodes ago, when Frieza was beating the crap out of him.

For Frieza, this just proves that he was right to kill all the Saiyans, since all they’re good at is fighting, and they’re too stubborn to be made to do anything else.   Goku and Vegeta insisted on fighting Frieza, even knowing how difficult it would be.   He doesn’t admire their tenacity; he just views it as self-destructive.  

Then Goku starts hearing Vegeta talking to him.    At first, he asks him to team up with him, as if he forgot that Vegeta’s already dead.   

Then he sees him in some sort of vision. 

Years ago, I found an audio recording of Vegeta’s speech in this scene, and I used to put it on playlists and listen to it on long car rides.    I’m gonna try to do the dub version from memory.    

Vegeta: Kakarot, listen to me!   Is that all the power you have?   Where’s your Saiyan pride?

Goku: But... I never was a Saiyan!

Vegeta: What are you talking about?  You can’t deny your heritage!”

Goku: Vegeta... right now it doesn’t matter what I am.   Forget about it.”

Vegeta: We both know you have Saiyan blood running through your veins!     [audio cut out for some reason]  --pain, but there is one thing you must never forget: It was Frieza who destroyed our birthplace, the Planet Vegeta.     There’s no one left except for your.

Goku: The... the pride... of my people!”

Vegeta: Think back, Kakarot.   Remember your father.... my father.”

Bardock: My... son... lives... on!

King Vegeta: Ooohhhh... (dies)

Vegeta: So while you may deny who you are, you are the very last hope for a lost race of brave warriors.    Ask yourself this: Why does Frieza want you destroyed so badly?   He’s afraid a Super Saiyan will rise up!  Fight him for the entire Saiyan race!   Destroy him, for you have the power within you!   Now go, Kakarot.  It is time!

Eh, close enough, I think.   

Anyway, Vegeta’s butt-ass nekkid the whole time he says all this.    Also he has his tail, so that’s a thing.

Now, you might be wondering what Frieza’s doing while Goku’s having this conversation.   Turns out he’s still intent on dragging this out.   I’m pretty sure Frieza is just waiting for Goku to completely shut down, the same way Vegeta did before Frieza finally killed him.  Also, I’ve begun to notice that this is Frieza’s big weakness.   Before I said it was laziness or complacency, and there’s some truth to that, but now that I’m watching him fight, I see that when you piss him off, he actually slows down more.    Frieza announced that he was going to kill Goku and end the fight like two episodes back.    Instead, Goku singed his hand.    You’d thin that would compel Frieza to hurry this along, but instead it had the opposite effect.    He’s actually giving Goku more time, because he’s convinced that Goku has no more surprises in store, and he wants to punish him even more than he did before.

Yeah, he keeps saying stuff like this, but he never follows through.

Meanwhile, on King Kai’s planet, there’s some commotion going on inside King Kai’s house.

Someone took out Bubbles and Gregory.

And it turns out to be the dead guys from the Ginyu Force.  If there was a college textbook on anime filler, this shot would probably be on the cover.   But we’ll talk about the Ginyu Force on King Kai’s Planet later.

Back on Namek, Goku has raised his hands in the air like he just doesn’t care.   Frieza is bewildered.   He figures Goku must be up to something, but he has no idea what, since he’s so weak right now.

But Krillin calls it right away.    It’s the Spirit Bomb, the same technique King Kai taught Goku to use against the Saiyans.    Of course, Piccolo wasn’t around for that, so Krillin has to explain it to him.   This irks Piccolo, because he just came from King Kai’s place, and King Kai never even mentioned a technique like this.  To be fair, Piccolo was only there for less than a week, and he wasn’t exactly cooperative.

Now you might be wondering why Goku didn’t try something like this a long time ago.   Well there’s a number of drawbacks to the Spirit Bomb:

1) It takes a long time to prepare, and Goku’s defenseless the whole time.

2) If Frieza notices what he’s up to, he’ll just dodge it, or kill Goku before he can deploy it.  

3) The Spirit Bomb is pretty dangerous.   King Kai warned Goku not to use it in broad daylight, because the energy from the sun would make it too powerful.   Namek has three suns, and Goku doesn’t think that’ll be enough, so he’s gotta borrow energy from other planets in the vicinity.   In other words, Goku might end up making an attack so powerful that he ends up destroying the planet along with Frieza.

These aren’t hypothetical issues either.   The first time Goku used the Spirit Bomb in combat, it was against Vegeta in his great ape form.    Vegeta attacked him before he was ready, then he attacked him before he could launch it.    Then he had to turn the residual power over to Krillin, and Vegeta dodged it.    Then Gohan bounced it back at Vegeta, and it didn’t work.    Vegeta took the Spirit Bomb and survived.   You know what finally did kill Vegeta?   Frieza.

I can’t stress this point enough.   The Spirit Bomb is an incredibly terrible idea in this situation.    I’m pretty sure the main reason Goku trained at 100 times gravity on the way here was so that he would never need to rely on the Spirit Bomb ever again.   Enemies like Vegeta were just too fast and powerful to take the time to make one of these things.      It’s easy for us to think “well, he can just make a bigger one!” but it only amplifies the weaknesses in the technique.   A bigger Spirit Bomb just takes that much longer to build, and it becomes that much harder to control.  

But Goku’s doing this anyway, because it’s literally all he has left.   His own power has failed him, and the one great advantage of the Spirit Bomb is that Goku can borrow energy from other sources.   Even i he does destroy Namek, it’ll be worth it to rid the universe of Frieza.

As for Frieza, he’s just standing there watching this.   I never understood why he waited so patiently here, but I finally realized that it’s his curiosity getting the better of him.    He genuinely wants to know what Goku’s trying to do, and he figures Goku’s already beaten, so he can afford to wait.    From a sadistic standpoint, I’m sure he wants to wait for Goku to execute his plan, just so that Frieza can prevail one more time and humiliate Goku further.  

Ironically, if Frieza could just sense ki energy like the Z-Fighters, he’d know exactly what Goku was up to.   Krillin spots the bomb almost immediately.   I’m not sure why it’s so high in the air like this.  Before, Goku would absorb the energy into his own body and form the bomb from his hand.    This time, he’s using energy from multiple stars and planets, so maybe it’s easier to converge it all above him.     Or maybe he’s purposely doing it this way to hide the bomb from Frieza.  He’d have to look straight up to see the thing, and he has no idea that he’d even need to.

Here’s a couple of shots from the other planets Goku is drawing energy from.    I really enjoy these for some reason.    These alien creatures seem to have Namekian style antennae, which I think is a nice touch, assuming these are worlds in the Namek solar system.  

[glammerstudioco]

The Ugly Truth: All About My Life

The Ugly Truth: All About My Life

 Kristina Adleina Fowler

Hey Dolls, my name is Kristina Adleina and I want to welcome you to my Blog, this is my first unofficial post for my Blog and today I am going to get into my personal backstory and why I decided to start a blog in the first place.

I am hoping that by sharing my life story that it can help anyone, in any way of their lives. Also, I want to be as authentic and transparent with my readers. So, let’s get into this “All About Me” article.

All About Me

Now it’s time for me to share my story and get real with you for a minute, so, let’s state the obvious here my names Kristina Adleina Fowler and I’m 29, living in Sudbury, Ontario Canada. Sudbury is a decent place to live and grow up, it’s like a bunch of little towns all connected together, it’s beautiful with that small town to feel but it’s really nothing for me to write home about. I’ve always wanted to leave here for some time now, I feel like I’ve just outgrown it all and all the people that are in it.

One day I will leave to travel the world to do makeup and to share my talents with everyone. But for now, I will keep doing Makeup, grow my Business and make Blogging my thang. So, enough about that and let’s get into who I am. Well, I am quite a unique character, I am that type A person who always needs things a certain way and meticulous about everything thing I do, very much a perfectionist. I am that take charge GirlBoss, where everything needs to be in my control but I when it is, it always turns out the bomb.

But, I am also very funny and humorous and always making everyone laugh no matter what I look like. I am also a huge geeky-silly type of chick with a hot exterior. But, I am very genuine, empathetic, generous, kind-hearted and authentic. But I will not take any crap from anyone. I love to help others and I love, love, love to make people look beautiful with my magical makeup skills. Makeup & Makeup Artistry is my number one passion and I love to sprinkle my makeup fairy dust and make everyone look beautiful and feel confident about themselves. I am very much all about empowering women and standing together as a united front because there is power in numbers and each woman is out there doing her thang and they deserve to be empowered just as much as the next lady.

Me & My Family

Now let’s get into my family, I have a son named Ryder who is now 7 and a half, he’s getting so big very quickly. Ryder is my everything and my life if I didn’t have his big ocean blue eyes, his sandy blonde curly hair and his big funny smile looking at me every morning I don’t think I would get out of bed, what would be the point? He’s changed my life so much and has made me a better person, I am very thankful for him and I love him more and more every day. Ryder’s like most 7-year-olds, full of energy, always on the go, dislikes school, all he wants to do is play hockey and hang out with mom and dad.

Ryder’s dad, Troy is amazing with him and they love each other so much it’s crazy, almost makes me a bit jealous. I was with Troy for over 10 years and we have not been together for a while now, but we are still very close to Ryder and he will always be a part of my family. My mom, Debbie and my dad, Dave were together for about 10 years as well and they got married and had me than my little sister, Kori-Lynn who is 26 now.

My mom and I are a lot alike and we look like twins, we are so much alike that we often butt heads on things in life like parenting, but if I didn’t have my mother I don’t know where I would be. She’s always been that tough love type but always there whenever we needed her no matter what, she’s a lot like my papa (her dad) who is now passed but he was my best friend in life and still is in spirit. My sister Kori has 2 kids of her own my niece and nephew Kiara and Daylan.

My mom then remarried to my stepdad Andy and had my little brother who is 12 years younger than me, Seth who is 18 now. My dad also remarried to my stepmom Angela who already had a son, Brandon and then they had my little sister, Kansas. Which Kansas, Kiara, Ryder, and Daylan are all a year and a half apart which is funny cause Kansas is their Aunt, but they don’t see it that way. My family is huge, this is just my immediate family which doesn’t include all aunts, uncles, and cousins but I am super close with my mom’s side and they have always been there for me through everything.

Who is Kristina?

Kristina is an empowered female who has been through and seen a lot in only 30 years. But those occurrences in my life have made me full of strength, knowledge, and power. I will never let anything hold me back again because there have been so many things that have held me back and I will no longer allow anything to hold me back again.

I am humbled by my life experiences and I am extremely eager to right my wrongs. I want to give anyone that has or is now on the same road, that I was once on, someone to relate to, someone to get advice from and a platform as a resource for anything they may need in life and business. I am also a very passionate and caring woman, there are so many things that I want to do with my life that I know can and will benefit others in many ways and I know that I will always strive to accomplish as much as I possibly can.

Throughout everything within my long journey, it has brought me to realize that life is to short and it can literally be over in an instant. I want to do nothing more than to live for today and to make every moment count.

Fighting Mental Health & Addiction Issues

Now, before I get into the nitty-gritty details, I want to mention that I do suffer from Mental Health and Addiction issues. I am not ashamed to speak about it or any part of my life, I want to be open and honest with everything because I know that it can help someone from hearing my story and maybe inspire them to do something great with their lives.

That alone is something that brings me much happiness, I want to be able to help as many people as possible with these issues and having this blog will allow me to do just that. And this is all I truly want to do.

My Diagnosis

Of course, the obvious question is what exactly do you suffer from? Personally, I suffer from “Generalized Anxiety Disorder” also known as GAD, which is characterized by persistent and excessive worry about a number of different things and affects 6.8 million adults in the U.S alone. (Anxiety and Depression Association of America)

Also, “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder” aka OCD, it is made up of two parts obsessions and compulsions, you might have one or both of these symptoms that cause a lot of distress. Obsessions are unwanted and repetitive thoughts, urges and images that don’t go away and cause a lot of anxiety. Compulsions are actions meant to reduce anxiety caused by obsessions and would experience distress if they can not complete the compulsions. (Canadian Mental Health Association)

Substance Abuse Disorder aka (SAD) Addiction is a complex disease of the brain and body that involves the compulsive use of one or more substances despite serious health and social consequences. Addiction disrupts regions of the brain that are responsible for reward, motivation, learning, judgment, and memory. It damages various body systems as well as families, relationships, schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods. (National Centre of Addiction and Substance Abuse)

I have officially diagnosed about 4 years ago now from my Psychiatrist at CMHA and I was prescribed a bunch of medication to relieve me from my symptoms, along with a bunch of work to do on myself, various programs and counseling. It was only then that I realized how serious the issue was and figuring out what I was going to do to fix it.

My Personal Experiences

Now it’s time for me to share my personal experience with Mental Health and Addiction. This path in life that was given to me might have been a shitty hand but I can say I had a great childhood and I was an amazing kid growing up, but there were early signs of the OCD and the anxiety. They weren’t extreme symptoms, basically I needed to have to have everything a certain way, in a particular way and order, I had to have my hair pulled back ever so tightly so there were no “bumps in my hair” most adults would have cried from the hair pulling but I sat there every day and needed it or else I was fit to be tied.

I remember and still to this day I never did like longer socks anything that past my ankles I felt restricted and I just wasn’t having it, my clothing had to be a smooth cotton material and I never wore jeans always matching tracksuits and everything from my hair ties, to socks and shoes were always matching and I had a different suit for every day of the week and always wore each suit on that exact day of the week. I had my “babies” that were cotton fabric bears and there were three of them and to fall asleep I would have them on my face and twist my finger around the ear and tickle my face with it. Now, I had to be about 3 years old here and I remember this stuff as clear as day because it was these things that carried through to my teenage and adult years but things got different of course.

Like needing to shower twice a day and having to be so clean each time that there was literally never any hot water left for no one else and then there 4 other people who are showering on that same tank. But it wasn’t until I was 18 that I began to use hard drugs, OxyContin and fentanyl were my drugs of choice and of course, I partied before with booze and weed and experimented with other drugs. But it was when I began to use prescription pain medication that my entire life had changed with just a few pills. Things began to fall quickly out of my control and before too long drugs were my end all and be all, it was my breakfast, lunch, and supper and it was the only thing that ever understood me.

The power of these drugs grab a hold of you and completely change your identity, so much so that you can’t even look in the mirror at your reflection. They take hold of your body, mind, and soul, you become so physically dependant on using them that when you don’t have the drugs you are sick like the worst flu known to mankind times 100. They slowly begin to deteriorate your mind and your body and everyone you care about in your life want nothing to do with the person you have become, with the lying, stealing and doing anything to chase your next high.

After dealing with this type of behavior for on and off over a period of 10 years, knowing that your still lucky enough to be here on this earth. You might get clean and continue to relapse continuously because there’s no book on the right way of doing things. But it’s a hard fight and I had always wanted it no matter how many times I continued to fall back, I never wanted to go back to that life. But something was pulling me there and I know the devil was one of those things, but being through this experience and learning everything I know now had kept me there to learn so I can assist other people on the same path as myself.

Overcoming It All

So what can you do to overcome Dual Diagnosis such as these? There are many things I have tried to do and achieve over these 10 years of pain, horror, and anguish like this. I had quit on my own many times, cold turkey and I would self-medicate with weed and Ativan to subdue the pain and anxiety I would be feeling.

I had gone on methadone for a short period, went to church, went into counseling, and many other programs just like it and I had gone on suboxone for about 4 years without the consult of a doctor. After almost 10 years of not ever quite figuring it out yet I had gone in to see a Psychiatrists at our local CAMH after going through months and weeks of painstaking devastation, continuous crying and feeling like I am losing my mind and my ex-fiancé bringing me to the hospital the crisis intervention centre because he was truly scared and wasn’t sure what was going on with me.

After seen my Doctor I had started my first round of antidepressants “Cipralex” and at first they don’t kick in right away, but after a while, some of the symptoms began to clear up and for a while, I was doing good and not using. But unfortunately that all didn’t last, once everything fell apart I had decided to go on Methadone and to take it very seriously and to switch medications. The Doctor ended up weaning me off Cipralex and onto Trintellix, which is more for anxiety and OCD symptoms but still an antidepressant.

Then I started out on Methadone and the day I started on the program was the last day that I had used drugs. Now, it took time to get used to the program and needed to be there every morning and adjusting doses so that you feel normal. After 2 months of being on the program, I was eligible to start getting my carries, which is your drinks you get to bring home for the week.

After 2 months I had my full carries, so I had my life back and everything was going great with my new medication and there were no issues at all. Since then it has been well over 3 years and that first summer I had started college, I was speaking at mental health and addiction engagements telling my story, I started back up doing Makeup Artistry and I started my own little business doing makeup and much more. There have been many things I have been able to do in these 3 plus years and I am making up for lost time.

With so much time on my hands and doing makeup I felt like I finally had a purpose on this earth and starting my business gave me that purpose.

My Love for Beauty

My ultimate passion in life is to make others feel beautiful with the power of my talent as an artist, to give the gift of self-confidence and to use the knowledge of my words to help heal their soul. I have always been in love with all things beauty and makeup for literally as long as I can remember. It has always given me that extra boost of confidence when I wasn’t feeling the most secure with myself and it has always allowed me to express myself, however, I wanted to.

I was 17 when I started working in a legit beauty salon, I learned all the tricks of the trade and its essentially were I truly did fall in love with all things beauty.

History as an Artist

But I must let you in on a secret, from the time I was 12 I wanted to be a hairdresser and makeup artist. I always loved everything about beauty, the way it made me feel about myself and the connection between you and your client for lack of a better word. My Aunt was a hairdresser, I was always fascinated by everything that she did and it was always a dream to open my own salon one day.

I can remember when I was 13, heading into high school I started dying and cutting my own hair, there was a heck of a lot of trial and error, but after a few years of tragic hair misfortunes, I basically nailed it every time. As the years went on I would go into the local hairdressing school about 5 times within a short period of time and by the time I was done working at the beauty salon I knew that being a hairdresser was off the table for me. I focused in on what came more natural to me and that was Makeup Artistry & Esthetics, they had taught me everything I needed to know while working and doing my high school co-op program and I ran with it from there.

I was doing it from my home and traveling and I had all these plans for this luxurious beauty salon, my mind and heart were set for many years to come. Going through everything with my addiction and mental health issues wasn’t something that was always easy to focus on when it came with the future but, this was still my dream throughout it all. When I did get clean over 3 years ago within the first year I decided to go to College and change my profession into something that I can get a degree in that I can help others with mental health and addiction issues, so I enrolled in the Child and Youth Care Practitioner Program.

Honestly, I did so amazing in the program I was on the Dean’s Honour Roll and I was throwing out 90-100% all the time and it was all based around mental health and how to assist children and families struggling with various issues. But after my 4th semester I just felt like this wasn’t going to fill my cup every day working for children’s aid society and after my ex-fiancé went to jail while we were together I was just done with everything so, I left. But it was back to Makeup that finally pulled me out of that dark phase and it really helped me to put my focus into starting my own Makeup Artist Business.

Everything about all those situations seemed to be all for a reason now that I think back on it all and its lead me to here today and I don’t regret any of it.

Starting A Business

As I just mentioned, starting a Business sort of just happened and it wasn’t something that I really planned on doing so soon. When I began doing makeup again I just figured I’d freelance for now and continue with my business when everything’s planned out as it should be. My girlfriend Angel and I ended up hooking up since high school, she had mentioned to me that if I needed anyone to do hair while I do makeup that she would be my girl.

So, not that long after I had one of my biggest gigs since I decided to do makeup again, we would be traveling a few hours to do makeup and hair on set for a magazine photoshoot and everything seemed to just fall into place from there. We started doing both makeup and hair services for weddings, events, graduations, photo shoots and all kinds of special occasions.

I was working with some direct sales companies as well and during a party we held we ending up meeting Alanah who wanted to sell beauty products and wanted to learn how to do makeup and hairstyling, it seemed like a fit so we went ahead with teaching her the ins and outs of the trade. As we had more hands on deck we decided to expand by doing our own photoshoots with models and photographers to hopefully create great content for magazines and hold our own events.

That summer we tested it out and held maybe 5 of our own events and it was really fun, something I could see myself doing but it was a lot of work to do everything plus what I was already doing and it just didn’t seem like anyone else was truly invested in any of it.

Also doing the whole direct sale cosmetics gig was not a fit what so ever, they wanted me to be the owner/operator of my territory with no previous experience, no one under me I was to start from square one and they basically helped with nothing so I had to make a choice. Anyways, with all these new changes I had to make many of my own changes as well, so I basically decided to distance myself from everything and everyone, then to continue to do what I was doing when I first started out, so I would do makeup, hairstyling, esthetics and do makeup lessons as well.

Then I wanted to get in with technology and the way of the internet so I decided to start my own blog but I was going to do absolutely everything myself. I learned everything from start to finish and as I went along, designed my entire site and took as many courses as I could. Now here I am writing my first post, with so much to say and still so much more to learn.

My Future Business Endeavors

As you might expect, as a blogger there are many options and many roads you can take on the internet. But I do have a game plan and I know things can change, but I want to continue blogging of course, then I will be creating course content for my own online makeup academy.

I will also produce content for a YouTube channel, I would love to write a book about makeup artistry and even about my personal story, I’d love to create my own cosmetics brand and create a great influencer roll for my readers. For my service based business at home, I plan on building a beauty bus, a huge studio with my cosmetics store inside and with makeup, esthetics, hairstyling and lash/brow bar. I will also have my own makeup academy attached to it all.

Right now I have my studio and office in my basement and I have all my travel equipment to go on set and to work at weddings and such, but I obviously want more. This summer I am starting a business mentoring program so that I can do my business plan and apply for grants and business loans so I can begin to expand my business goals.

But for right now I want to focus on blogging and all of my online business endeavors and I hope to grow this team to bring all of you and my future readers amazing content to learn and to be more knowledgeable on many topics.

But I must let you in on a secret, this is all just small paragraphs on each topic within my life so that each of you could get to know me a bit better. This is all clearly not my entire life story and history behind everything but it gives you a general outline about the topics that I am passionate about and the things that have shaped me into who I am today as a woman.

But I will definitely elaborate on each of the topics and subtopics I mentioned here today so that you all will get to know who I truly am inside and out. I will get to share my story on a national level to bring awareness and knowledge. Also, my true love and passion is makeup and being a makeup artist so I want to be able to help and teach all of the beauty and makeup lovers out there and anyone who is or wants to become a makeup artist or start a business especially within the beauty industry. I am truly blessed to be doing this and there will be much more to come in the future.

Thank you all for listening and please share to spread the word about my new and glamorous blog.

Love, Kristina xoxo 

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