#and/or you like it because it in some way reflects your own actual lived experience? so you think it's good rep then.

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC’s Lucien - First Snowfall Date - English Translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Lucien’s 2024 CN Birthday Event (Golden Love Ratio)✧ Birthday Story | Birthday Prologue + Birthday Date (You’re here!) | ASMR

"Actually, the reason for wanting to own a castle is quite simple."

"Because that way, I could have a space of my own to carry out those daring and even dangerous experiments."

"And my parents could also accompany me in the castle, pursuing the research they are deeply passionate about."

"That way, they wouldn’t have to be 'trapped' in the lab all the time."

Translation under the cut!

I’m sorry for dropping this so late. As you might have seen from my tweet, my dad was hospitalized in ICU this month. I’m still struggling emotionally now as I wait for him to wake up. It’s been a difficult time, and the grief is still heavy on me as he hasn’t regained consciousness yet… 

Sharing this date translation is the least I can do to celebrate his birthday for now, even though I won’t be annoyingly scream about it like I usually would hhhh. I guess this date feels a bit like a small comfort—a reminder that even if your loved ones have passed away, it’s not all sadness. There’s still warmth in the memories they left behind :”””.

So, Xu Mo, happy birthday. I’m so happy to see you finally embracing your past with such warmth and nostalgia. Honestly, this year feels like it’s all about him finally gaining ‘blood and flesh,’ becoming more human and beautifully stained with the colors of the mortal world. His world is no longer monochrome, and now he’s moving toward the most vibrant and colorful spring. 

✂———————–

Before reading recommendations:

[2024 Birthday Birthday (a MUST read because this date is heavily reference this!) - My Translation]

[Winery date - Youtube (EN Loc)] 

—秋天是个本身就是带着悲伤和落寞的季节， 但是秋天也拥有盛放的花草， 拥有醇美的葡萄 酒， 还有不变的思念。(Autumn itself is a season inherently tinged with sadness and loneliness. Yet, autumn also boasts blooming flowers and thriving plants, rich and mellow wines, and unwavering longing.’) 

[Autumn Blaze Date - Youtube (EN Loc)]

No tear-floods, Nor sigh-tempests move. The fulfillment of a promise is...

“诺言的实现是别离的开始”。(“The fulfillment of a promise is the beginning of separation.")

[Tidying Up Date - My Translation - Youtube (EN Loc)]

—如果在那些被定格的风景里,你依然生动 鲜活,是否证明我还想念着你。(If in those frozen scenes, you still appear vivid and lively as before, does that mean I still miss you?)

那些被我判定为重要的事,即便现在已经 不再拥有同样的心情,那我是否还爱着你。(If what I previously judged to be important no longer reflects my feelings now, does that mean I still love you?)

✂———————–

[Birthday Prologue]

Sunlight shines on the sofa, and the cozy warmth makes me lift my head from my laptop, stretching with a big, lazy yawn.

MC: It always feels like something’s missing…

Lucien's birthday is coming soon, and to properly celebrate that day, he's been rushing his experiments progress lately, making him incredibly busy.

So, I want to give him a "soft and fluffy" birthday where he can lie down anytime and anywhere.

It's just that I've run into a little problem for the time being.

=Flashback Start=

MC: Lucien, what do you think of this town?

Lucien: It seems quite nice. It just so happens that the lab next door seems to be going here to do some research.

MC: What? No, no, if we're not careful, you'll be swept away by work!

I took out my Plan B and placed it in front of Lucien.

MC: How about this southern city then~ It should be very warm here.

Lucien: Hmm... If you don't want to be disturbed by outsiders, I'm afraid this place won't work either.

Lucien: I remember an academic summit is being held here soon. I just returned the call and declined the invitation to attend.

=Flashback End=

Therefore, after several plans were forced to be aborted one after another, my gaze inevitably shifted to the other side of the ocean.

Let's go somewhere farther away!

That way, Lucien can have a peaceful birthday without being disturbed by work or the outside world.

I immediately change my search keywords and start browsing travel guides for long-distance birthday trips.

Suddenly, a relevant news notification pops up on the webpage.

A castle museum owned by a renowned inventor from the last century will soon be open to the public.

In the photo, the historic castle is adorned with falling red leaves in the sunlight, resembling a piece of condensed amber.

I excitedly click on it and discover that, in addition to the open exhibition area, the castle is also available for rent by the square meter.

MC: ...Castle rental?

My eyes light up, and an idea forms in my mind.

✂———————–

When Lucien returns in the evening, I quietly close my laptop and walk to the door with a smile.

MC: Lucien—welcome home~ Ahem, I have a new idea about your birthday!

Lucien takes off his coat and gently embraces me, his eyes reflecting a soft, tranquil smile like the surface of a shallow water.

Lucien: What's the idea?

MC: Heehee, let me give you a hint~ How about we go somewhere far away for your birthday this time, a place with a vintage feel?

A gentle puff of air that seems like a suppressed chuckle reaches my ears, and a thoughtful expression appears on Lucien's face.

Lucien: Hmm... So, how vintage are we talking?

MC: Like, no elevator, and maybe no heating?

Lucien: Sounds like it could be a bit cold. It seems we'll need to pack some warm clothes.

I subconsciously nod, then immediately react.

MC: Wait, you've already agreed?

Lucien: Mm, after all, celebrating a birthday in a castle is a very appealing option.

MC: !!

MC: Hey! I clearly kept it under wraps, I haven’t even booked the tickets yet.... how did you figure it out so quickly?

Lucien's lips curve into a smile as he takes my hand, his index finger gently tapping on the back of my hand.

Lucien: It's probably because... your browsing history is synced to my computer.

✂———————–

[Date]

If you want to follow along with the voice- you can hear it here . The date starts at 14:10

=[Part 1]=

The late autumn sunshine is softened by the clouds, leaping through the glass window and casting a honey-like, mottled glow on the wooden floor.

MC: Mmh…

The cold air wakes me. As I'm about to stretch, my right hand accidentally brushes against something warm and soft.

Lucien lies peacefully beside me, breathing steadily. His brow, furrowed from days of relentless work, finally relaxes as he falls into a deep well of sleep.

We crossed the ocean and arrived at an ancient castle on the Atlantic coast last night.

It is said that this castle was personally designed and built by an inventor from the electrical era. He gifted it to his wife as a wedding present upon its completion.

They fell in love as they settled down at this very place, continuously building love founded on mutual companionship. Here they remained until they eventually passed away together and were laid to rest eternally within the castle grounds.

The profound emotions and story, coupled with the beautiful view of maple leaves and the ancient castle before my eyes, strengthen my resolve to rent this castle.

Amidst the intermingling of light and shadow this early morning, I quietly gaze at Lucien and a soft warmth wells up in my heart.

A hand with defined knuckles encloses my right hand, his palm pressed against the back of my hand, transmitting his body heat.

It's as if he's reluctant to grasp it tightly, yet unwilling to let go, so he just gently cups my hand.

I raise the hand that he isn’t holding, my fingertips hovering at the smallest distance as I trace the outline of his features.

Eyelashes, the bridge of his nose, his lips… until those closed eyelids suddenly quiver and blink lightly.

Lucien slowly opens his eyes, a hint of soft sleepiness lingering in them.

His hold on my hand tightens as he looks at me drowsily, revealing a gentle, soft smile under the sunlight.

I shift my body slightly, blocking the sunlight that's falling into his eyes, then lean down and gently press my cheek against his.

MC: Happy birthday, Professor Lucien~

Lucien: [his sleepy, soft voice is so cute-] Thank you, my little lady.

He tilts his face up, nuzzling affectionately against my cheek. The sunlight falls on his side profile, making him look fluffy.

The strands of his hair tangle with mine, stirring tender and lingering itches.

Lucien: Waking up in a castle and hearing MC's blessing, I must be the happiest person in the world right now.

Lucien: If I were to say there's still something missing, it would probably be...

Lucien: [chuckles] You're right. This castle is indeed quite cold.

His teasing tone makes me unable to resist lifting the corner of my lips. I snuggle closer, resting my cheek on his collarbone and nuzzling against it, warming the slightly cold patch of skin.

After warming up his skin that was exposed to the air, I tilt my face up to look at him.

MC: Being here with you under the covers like this makes it feel just a bit warmer.  

MC: However, getting up and moving around might help warm up our body too.

I wink at Lucien, speaking with a feigned seriousness that makes the matter seem like a big deal.

MC: I’ve decided to leave this difficult decision to the esteemed castle owner. May I ask, what would Your Highness like to do*?

My words are the picture of courtesy, yet I press myself against Lucien, my hand boldly and unreservedly traces his cheek.

His chest, pressed tightly against mine, trembles softly. Lucien takes my fingers, bringing them to his pale lips for a gentle kiss.

Lucien: Since I’m the owner of this castle... then, I want to stay in bed with my girlfriend for a bit longer right now.

He looks at me and blinks, his eyelashes casting a warm shadow on his cheek.

Lucien: [chuckles] Is that okay?

His voice holds a touch of playful mischievousness. I meet those eyes filled with smiles and feel a little dazed.

MC: Of course…

Before I can even finish speaking, I feel his hand tighten around my waist, and I yield as he wraps me back in the blanket again.

From just a breath away, I hear Lucien's long, contented exhale.

Lucien: [chuckles softly, then exhales comfortably] Then stay with me a little longer, let's indulge in bed a bit more.

✂———————–

*: MC playfully used 您 (nin) here, which is like the formal way to say ‘you’. I translate this to ‘Your Highness’ as an attempt to capture this~

✂———————–

=[Part 2]=

We linger in bed until almost noon when Lucien finally 'digs' me out of the warm covers while I’m still drowsy from sleep.

After freshening up, we enjoy the sumptuous and exquisite brunch prepared by the butler.

Before the birthday dinner arrives, we still have a long stretch of leisurely time that we can freely arrange.

Considering this rare opportunity to vacation in the castle, we decide to spend half the day on the castle's lawn.

Late autumn is a season of vibrant colors, and the castle's designer clearly understood this well, planting a row of deciduous trees along the castle's edge.

[Trivia: Deciduous trees are trees that shed their leaves each year in the autumn!]

The lawn remains as green as an antique jade, but the leaves of the trees have already turned yellow, with a backdrop of maple forests ablaze in crimson.

The sunlight is warm, the fallen leaves crunch under my feet, and I can't help but take a deep breath.

MC: Mmm... It's the scent of autumn!

Lucien chuckles softly and, imitating me, takes a gentle breath of the autumn air.

Lucien: [chuckles] The air is so fresh. It must have rained last night; I can smell the petrichor.

MC: Hearing you say that, it feels like even the air today is a fresh gift for you~

I reach out and catch a falling leaf carried by the autumn breeze, gently placing it in Lucien's hand.

MC: Lucien, I want to give you a gift of autumn!

Lucien: A gift of autumn?

Lucien takes the leaf with a slightly puzzled look. I swing his hand gently and give him a wink.

MC: Consider this leaf a humble offering to spark something greater.

MC: I want to use these fallen leaves, flowers, and fruits to make an autumn basket, offering a small gift to today's birthday boy using nature's bounty.

Lucien gently nods in understanding, the curve of his lips remaining unchanged.

Lucien: Even though you're preparing a gift for me, the birthday boy himself is eager to join in too.

Lucien: Or is it that my little lady will only allow me to stand back and do nothing?

As he leans in slightly, his tone carries a hint of seriousness, and his fingertips lightly brush against my palm.

Sunlight sprinkles across his face, and his smiling eyes, framed by the interplay of light and shadow, appear even deeper, revealing a gentle slyness.

MC: Of course I need Professor Lucien's help, but when it comes to the final weaving stage, the birthday boy can't peek~

Lucien: No problem, I will be an honest collaborator.

The autumn wind lifts his hair, creating gentle curves as it sweeps through the strands. I gather his fingers in mine and we step onto the forest path by the castle.

MC: Let's go then, we still need a lot of materials~

In the maple forest during late autumn, fruit trees laden with fruit hide amongst the low bushes, while vibrant beeches with flourishing branches and leaves stand beside the tall oaks.

Purple crocuses peek their delicate buds from the grass, while after the rain, strange fungi unfurl their caps and release spores.

It's like stumbling into an autumn oil painting with bold colors and thick brushstrokes, every glance reveals a colorful and magnificent scenery.

When Lucien picks up a plump acorn, a red squirrel with a fluffy tail scurries out and squeaks at him.

MC: Wow, such a daring little squirrel!

Lucien and I are both taken aback for a moment; this little fellow seems completely unafraid of us.

MC: Is it greeting us, or is it trying to steal the fruit we've picked up?

Lucien seems to already have a way to handle this, a hint of cunningness flashing in his eyes.

He takes a pine cone in his hand and gently dangles it in front of the little squirrel's tail.

Lucien: [chuckles] Little guy, do you want this?

The greedy little squirrel's eyes instantly fixate on the new pine cone, completely captivated by his movement, and it scurries forward a few steps.

It stuffs the pine cone from Lucien's hand into its mouth in one gulp, then hops away with its cheeks puffed out.

Lucien: [chuckles] This maple forest is their world. That pine cone, well, let's just consider it an ‘entry fee'.

Lucien raises his hand again, and when he opens his palm before me, there they are—several even plumper and cuter acorns.

MC: Hold on, turns out you've been secretly keeping all these 'hidden treasures' to yourself!

Lucien: [in an ‘innocent’ tone] After all, my little lady needs these acorns, so I had to find a way to evade those sharp-eared and keen-eyed little fellows.

Though he says this, Lucien shows a relaxed expression, looking like a little fox pretending to be innocent.

The thought of the Great Professor Lucien actually ‘tricking’ a squirrel makes me burst out laughing. I grab his hand and pull him along as I run in the other direction.

MC: Hahaha, Professor Lucien, quick, run with me! Be careful, the little squirrel might go find the squirrel police and report us!

I hold hands with Lucien as we walk through the woods. The surrounding scenery is vibrant with colors, creating the impression of a flowing oil painting.

The air around the sweet osmanthus trees is filled with a sweet fragrance like cotton candy, while black walnuts and red oak acorns roll on the ground.

My pockets are loaded with autumn's ‘spoils’ which keep spilling out as I run, as if they are merging with the forest's hidden mysteries.

Despite these minor incidents, we still manage to gather a basketful of autumn's gifts.

✂———————–

Back indoors, I carry my blessings for Lucien and patiently weave them together.

Leaves and fruits gradually take shape in my hands, carrying small heartfelt wishes, preserving the warmth and liveliness of autumn.

And then, I find Lucien by the window.

He seems to have just come inside, a hint of coldness still clinging to him, but when he turns and looks back at me, a gentle smile quickly spreads across his face.

I smile and lift the basket of fruits and flowers with both hands as if I'm holding all the beauty of autumn.

MC: This castle’s most beautiful autumn is all right here! Here, it's all yours—

MC: I hope every day of your future can be as complete, fulfilling, and beautiful as this~

Lucien's eyes curve into a smile as he takes the basket.  Suddenly, I feel a touch of moist coolness against my ear.

Through the glass window, I see him quietly tuck a vibrant Cleome flower into my hair.

Lucien: Thank you, I really like these autumn gifts.

Lucien: But for me, the most beautiful part of autumn is right here before my eyes.

Lucien: She blooms year after year, staying by my side, and leaving me utterly captivated*.

✂———————–

[T/N]

I think the Cleome Spinosa flower, also known as 醉蝶花 ("intoxicated butterfly") carries symbolic meaning. When Lucien gives her this particular flower, it reflects his emotions about her. The final line (她年复一年地盛开,陪在我的身边,令我沉醉其中 — literally translated as "She blooms year after year, staying by my side, and leaving me intoxicated") directly connects to the "intoxicating" (醉) in the flower's name with the word 沉醉 (immersed in a state of intoxication) in the last line, which combines 沉 (to sink or immerse) and 醉 (to be drunk or intoxicated).

沉醉 conveys the emotional nuances of being utterly captivated, deeply enchanted, and overwhelmed in a consuming, blissful way. This imagery mirrors the 'intoxicated butterfly' of the flower, as if he's the 'intoxicated butterfly', utterly captivated and completely consumed by her existence.

✂———————–

=[Part 3]=

It's past dusk, and the sunlight is as golden and radiant as freshly harvested honey. Outside the window, a vast expanse of red maple trees sways in harmony with the evening breeze, whispering a soft melody. Leaves flutter and dance their way into the room every now and then.

I rub my arms, for even this gentle and beautiful scenery can’t stop the temperature from dropping as night falls.

MC: Uh... It feels even colder than it did this morning.

Just then, the sound of rolling wheels comes from behind me. Lucien approaches, pushing a small wooden cart, a plush shawl in his hand.

Lucien: I found a pretty good way to warm up, want to give it a try?

He gently wraps a shawl around me, and I comfortably nuzzle against his warm and cozy neck.

MC: I'm all ears to hear the esteemed opinions of the castle's owner!

Lucien smiles mysteriously, holds my hand, and pushes the cart as we walk together to a door leading underground.

MC: This is... a wine cellar?

Lucien: I think it would be more ceremonial if we chose the wine list ourselves tonight.

He lights the two oil lamps that were prepared in advance. Each of us carries one, and we slowly move forward through the rich aroma of oak barrels.

According to the butler, the wine cellar was recently ventilated.  

Yet, perhaps the overwhelming aroma of wine saturates the air, walking inside makes me feel a bit stifled. I even feel slightly intoxicated just from the scent, before even having a sip.

Besides me, only Lucien still carries the fresh and crisp scent of grass and trees from when we were gathering fruits and fallen leaves.

It feels like he is the only antidote in this dim room filled with the floating aroma of wine.

Red maple leaves, the wine cellar, the wine itself… memories from the past seem to overlap at this moment.

Suddenly, I recall the winery we visited long ago.

The memory of the autumn stained red by the maple leaves has brought with it the restlessness and infatuation of the past, spilling out from the bottom of my heart without any reason...

It's as if my lips still retain the feeling of his touch when he wiped away the wine stain for me, making my heartbeat inexplicably quicken. Just then, I catch sight of Lucien gently placing a bottle of wine into the cart.

MC: Professor Lucien, what kind of wine did you choose?

Lucien: Riesling white wine.

Lucien turns the bottle around to show me.

Lucien: When I got the cart, the butler knew I was going to the wine cellar and recommended this castle's specialty to me.

Lucien: And you?

I suppress the excitement in my heart and wink at him mysteriously.

MC: Hmph, you'll find out soon enough.

The light and soft aroma of white wine fills the air, and even the candles on the wall seem intoxicated by the wine's fragrance, their flames gently flickering.  

Under the twilight dome of the sky, the shadows of the wine rack and stone walls sway gracefully in the flickering firelight.  

Lucien and I sit at a small table nearby, two crystal-clear glasses already filled with wine, exuding a faintly tipsy aura.  

After two glasses of Riesling, I feel warmth spreading through my body and let out a satisfied sigh.

MC: Ahh, so comfortable... I don't feel cold at all anymore~ As expected of the wine Professor Lucien chose.

Lucien: [chuckles] Would you like some more?

I smile and shake my head, winking at him mysteriously.

MC: First, let's try the wine I picked~

I open the bottle of wine I selected and pour a glass for Lucien, sneaking a glance at his face from the corner of my eye.  

The candlelight cast a soft filter over him, concealing his keen and contemplative eyes, which revealed a soft glow under the haze of the wine.

He parts his pale lips, gently swallows the wine, and seems to be momentarily dazed.

MC: How is it?

I can barely contain my anticipation as I watch his brow smooth slightly, relaxing further after taking in the wine.

Confusion and surprise flit through his gentle eyes, before swiftly transforming into a clear understanding.

Lucien:  ...This flavor is very unique, and yet also very familiar.

Lucien: It's sweet and tender, yet with a touch of bitterness and complexity*.

[Notes from Lux: He copied her remark from back then, word by word :”””. 纠结 is a tricky word to translate because it literally means “intertwined”/”tangled”. But figuratively, it implies a kind of intertwined, tangled feeling, commonly describing a state of emotional or mental conflict, where someone feels torn between different choices or is experiencing confusion and hesitation (a.k.a the state of the earlier stage of their relationship-). I went with ‘complexity’ to capture some nuances, but it might not capture this ‘entangling’ feeling.]

The complex yet familiar remark sends a rush of emotions through me. Just as I’m thinking about what to say, Lucien smiles.

Lucien: But when I savor it again, I feel a warmth, like that of sunshine and rain—a delicate, pleasant warmth.

The familiar words stir a trace of emotion in my heart, and in a daze, it feels as if the autumn equinox of that year has arrived at this very moment.

He still remembers—this is the same bottle of wine I tasted back when we were just getting to know each other, during our visit to Eileen's winery for an interview.

My fingertips unconsciously rub against the bottle, and my thoughts follow my gaze to the red maple trees bathed in the evening glow.

Back then, it was also the season when the maples were crimson and the flowers were in full bloom...

A maple leaf, as if on cue, is swayed by the evening breeze and drifts toward me. I instinctively reach out, and the leaf gently lands in my palm.

It feels as though the early days of tentative exploration and the subtle sweetness of that time have traveled with the falling leaf, arriving here in this foreign land at this moment.

Lucien: I remember, on the way to the winery, I mentioned Maple Road. We ended up going there together.

Lucien: On Maple Road, we read a poetry collection together and visited a maple sugar shack.

Lucien: Later, I drew a picture of you collecting maple leaves. That drawing even ended up in an exhibition...

The rippling light of the wine in the crystal glass reflects on him, even his gaze holds tender memories.

Lucien speaks calmly, his memories unfolding like a heavy book, slowly opening before me with the sound of his voice.

The bond beneath the red maple tree and the feelings growing in the vineyard, word by word, moment by moment, intertwine and become etched into our story-

Only those who created it together can turn its pages and retrieve each other's anchors from the endless flow of time.

My heart is stirred, subtly and uncontrollably. I can't help but rush into Lucien's arms, hugging him tightly.

MC: I remember too.

MC: Not just these things you've mentioned... everything about you, I remember it all.

MC: So after today, Professor Lucien should also update this birthday into all our autumn memories.

His chest pressed close to me, trembles slightly. A warm, gentle kiss falls on my forehead, soft and cherishing.

Lucien: Such beautiful memories, I don't seem to have any reason to let them fade away.

I lift my face joyfully and gently kiss his chin.  

We have already experienced countless stories through many autumns and celebrated each of his birthdays.

And I also want to write down promises with him for each and every autumn in the future, continuing on for a very, very long time.

MC: Then it's a promise!

Lucien smiles faintly and lifts me up with one hand, his gentle gaze meeting mine at eye level.

Lucien: [chuckles] However, if I want to make the anchor of this ‘memory’ even more profound, I still need to gather a bit of inspiration…

The remaining of his words are lost into our mingling breaths, replaced by a crisp kiss tinged with the scent of wine.

This kiss is gentle and intoxicating, leaving me somewhat tipsy, though not from the effects of alcohol.

Perhaps it's because the youthful and inexperienced flavor of that past has long since mixed with the passionate love that has matured over time…

Blending and growing, pulling me deeply into it.

✂———————–

=[Part 4]=

The twilight gradually fades into the night, and the bright moon quietly hangs in the autumn night, illuminating the still dazzling and fiery red maple leaves.

Lucien and I are still sitting at the table, enjoying the tranquility, when a sudden coldness brushes against my cheek.

I raise my head and realize, without noticing it, that snowflakes have already begun drifting down from the sky. Just then, I hear Lucien's smiling voice beside me.

Lucien: It seems that today's ‘gifts’ are not over yet.

MC: After all, today is your birthday—the whole world will be sending you blessings~

Our gazes meet, and with a tacit understanding, we both set down our glasses and take each other's hands.

Lucien: Then, can I invite my ‘world’ to go out with me and experience this beauty together?

In the courtyard, rustling red maples intertwine with falling snowflakes, as if autumn and winter themselves are completing their handover at this very moment.

We get an umbrella from the butler and hold hands as we follow the stone path down the hill from the old castle.

The moonlight on a snowy night grows brighter as we walk side by side to the small town at the foot of the hill, where the houses and streetlights are all covered in a delicate layer of snowflakes.

On the streets of the small town, many people, like Lucien and I, stroll under the moonlight, accompanied by the backdrop of the first snowfall, tacitly enjoying this tranquil night.

I turn my head to look at Lucien and find him reaching out his hand, gently catching a falling snowflake.

His eyes curve faintly, as if harboring some kind of quiet longing, even carrying a touch of rare childlike innocence.

MC: [smiles softly] Why does it feel like Professor Lucien has a special fondness for this snow?

My tone holds a hint of curiosity, wanting to capture this rare glimpse of his innocence. Lucien smiles and begins to speak softly.

Lucien: [softly, like recalling a cherished memory] Just remembered a movie I watched when I was little. I remember... it was about an inventor who lived in a castle.

Lucien: After watching it as a child, there was a time when I also wanted to be an inventor with a castle.

My eyes widen in a bit of surprise.

MC: [pouts] I can understand wanting to be an inventor, but why did it have to be one who lives in a castle…

MC: Professor Lucien, could it be that you're teasing me on purpose just because we came to a castle this year?

Lucien: [chuckles] Of course not. But if this story will make this little lady happy, I’d be more than willing to tell it to you.

MC: I want to hear it, I want to hear it!

I enthusiastically put on an attentive look, Lucien smiles as he begins to speak.

Lucien: Actually, the reason for wanting to own a castle is quite simple.

Lucien: Because that way, just like the main character in the movie, I could have a space of my own to carry out those daring and even dangerous experiments.

Lucien: And my parents could also accompany me in the castle, pursuing the research they are deeply passionate about.

Lucien: That way, they wouldn’t have to be 'trapped' in the lab all the time.

Lucien speaks naturally, his voice imbued with a soft smile, yet it's as if a tiny window is being opened.

Through that window, I seem to see a little Lucien, his eyes sparkling with fascination as he watches the movie, his heart filled with simple and pure longing.

My heart suddenly softens, and I can’t help but smile tenderly as I start to speak.

MC: The dream of becoming an inventor could now be considered halfway realized~

MC: After all, Professor Lucien is a great scientist walking at the forefront of humanity—it’s perhaps even more remarkable than that!

MC: As for the castle... you've been the ‘owner of the castle’ for a day today, does that count?

Lucien: [chuckles] Of course it counts. And now, there’s even the first snowfall.

He takes my slightly cold hand and slips it in his pocket, softly rubbing it.

Lucien: I can no longer recall the plot of that movie very well. But I do remember that on the day we watched it, it also snowed in Loveland City.

Lucien: That day, they finished work early and brought home the videotape of that movie.

Lucien: The movie ended with the town welcoming its first snowfall, and we also stepped outside together to enjoy the snowy world.

He speaks vaguely, but I understand everything.

His low voice feels especially serene on this snowy night, yet as he speaks, another scene unfolds before my eyes.

When his room flooded before, he tidied up those old videotapes and set them aside, placing them carefully in a separate spot.

Is this old movie among those tapes?

As he put away the videotapes, did he recall that ancient castle and that warm snowfall?

I don’t know the answer, but I can feel that those fleeting, rarely mentioned fragments of his past were once so distant and cold.

But now, those precious fragments have thawed like melting ice and snow, filled with nostalgia and warmth as they slowly flow.

I instinctively tighten my hold on his hand.

The first snowfall is falling thicker and thicker, yet it isn't biting cold. Snowflakes gently drift past the edge of the umbrella, landing on the tips of my hair and forehead, as well as Lucien's.

It's as if this world is bestowing its blessings on Lucien in the most gentle way.

MC: Even though it's many years late, it seems that we've now made little Lucien's childhood dream come true.

With a chuckle, Lucien's low voice reaches me through the wind and snow.

Lucien: [chuckles] Indeed, so I was quite surprised, but also delightfully so.

Lucien: However, if it weren’t for this twist of fate, perhaps I wouldn’t have thought of this idea again for a very, very long time.

Lucien: [softly] Because I've long had something far more important.

Lucien: To me, those forgotten thoughts are more like a bottle of wine hidden in a cellar.

MC: Wine?

Lucien: Mm, just like the wine we’re drinking today.

Lucien: Grapes can never return to their original form, but time makes them richer and more mellow, and they will always meet someone who knows how to cherish them.

Lucien: She will give me a castle, stay in bed with me, treasure an entire autumn with me... and walk with me through quiet streets on snowy nights.

A snowflake quietly lands on his eyelashes and melts a moment later. It’s as if the melted droplets seep into my heart, creating ripples of sweet warmth.

I can't help but speak softly, offering all my blessings to my beloved standing before me under the moonlight of this snowy night.

MC: Happy birthday, Lucien.

May each and every year of your future be surrounded with love as you move forward.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*FIN*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[Bonus Phone call]

Lucien: I received the email you sent. Looks like it has some intel about a birthday.

MC: Yes! It's a text-based open-source game I found online. I modified it a bit~

MC: You can start from age 0 and randomly generate the 'life' of a little Lucien!

Lucien: Mm, just now, I've already completed two endings.

Lucien: The first time, little Lucien was accidentally captured by an alien spacecraft at the age of three and left Earth forever.

Lucien: The second time, little Lucien received a mysterious admission letter at the age of sixteen. No one knows where he went.

[Aren't these just a reflection of his past??? from being kidnapped by BS to mysteriously disappearing hhhhh]

MC: Haha, is the game’s random value design too harsh? Maybe I should tweak it a bit...

Lucien: No need, I really like this level of difficulty. It’s precisely this randomness that makes it so interesting to me.

Lucien: I’ve just started my third playthrough. This time, I’ve decided to reallocate some of the 15 points I gave to intelligence and assign some to luck.

[Not this basically saying that his genius may be the reason for his unluckiness in life :""". His 'luck' in life is that he's able to met her]

MC: So Professor Lucien had been putting all the points into one stat before! No wonder you kept having such over-the-top mysterious experiences...

Lucien: I just subconsciously wanted to test the limits of this little game, and unexpectedly made real discoveries.

Lucien: Although these endings greatly increased the game's replayability, this time, I want to make the game last a bit longer.

Lucien: That way, perhaps I can meet you in the game as well.

MC: Hehe, you can look forward to it!

MC: So, how's it going? What age did you reach in your third playthrough?

Lucien: …Hmm, I've already invented the elixir of immortality and reached the age of two hundred, but I still haven't encountered you.

Lucien: Am I on the right track?

MC: Pfft! I did set up an encounter, but I didn't set an age limit, thinking it would slightly increase replayability...

MC: I feel like I might have overdone it...

Lucien: It’s okay. In the game, little Lucien has already met you—at the age of five hundred.

Lucien: Then, on his birthday, we confessed to each other at the same time and spent a happy life together.

[Man so love-brained that he creates an immortality elixir and stubbornly waits a long time to finally meet her LOL. In this way, it can be said that his current life might be the 'luckiest' possibility because it allows him to meet her so soon]

MC: Hahaha, that's good, that's good... So, do you like this "life path" of becoming an inventor?

Lucien: I like it. I like everything and my destined encounter with you.

Lucien: I’ll be home soon, and when I get there, I’d like to invite you to explore all the other possibilities for little Lucien together—

Lucien: And explore every moment I spent with you on this birthday.

[batking-lich]

"i'm not like those Other People, i only consume Unproblematic Media™ with Good Representation™ and i don't like Irredeemable Media™"

"i'm not like those Other People, i don't like this Sanitized Media™, i only like Real Art™ with Bad Messy Representation™"

you are literally the same people wearing different hats the only things you disagree about are what counts as bad media and what counts as good representation

[prokopetz]

Something that pops up in my notes from time to time is folks thinking I'm being excessively kind in my criticisms of Dungeons & Dragons, and I'm going to spin this off into a separate thread to address that without putting anyone on the spot.

First, if your own critique of Dungeons & Dragons is rooted in the idea that it's the Worst Game Ever, that speaks more to the limits of your experience than it does to anything else. Dungeons & Dragons in any of its iterations is far from the worst the tabletop roleplaying hobby has to offer – like, you have no fucking idea!

Second, I tend to be even-handed in my discussion of D&D's rules because, fundamentally, the rules are not the problem – or, at least, not the principal cause of the problem.

In many ways, the indie RPG sphere has never escaped the spectre of Ron Edwards, sternly pronouncing that the mechanical process of playing traditional RPGs causes actual, physical brain damage, and that this brain damage is responsible for the bad behaviour we often observe at the table. We don't say it that way anymore, but on some level a lot of us indie RPG designers still kind of believe it.

This is understandable. As game designers, we're naturally inclined to think of problems at the table as game design problems. When we see a problematic culture of play, our impulse is to frame it as something which emerges from the text of the game, and which can therefore be mitigated by repairing the text of the game.

Confronted with the obvious toxicity of certain facets of D&D's culture of play, we go combing through its text, looking for something – some formalism, some structure, some piece of rules technology – which we can point to and say: "this is it; this is where the brain-worms live."

The trouble is, this is not in fact where the brain-worms live. Certainly, the text of a game, particularly a very popular one, can have some influence on the game's surrounding culture of play, but that text is in turn a reflection of the culture of play in which it was written. The Player's Handbook isn't an SCP object, spewing infectious infohazards everywhere when you crack open the cover – hell, I'd go so far as to say that many of the problems of D&D's culture of play operate in spite of the game's text, not because of it!

Basically, what I'm saying is that I don't see any contradiction between being the sort of pretentious knob who writes one-page indie RPGs about gay catgirls talking about their feelings (which I am), and speaking favourably about this or that piece of rules tech from whatever flavour of Dungeons & Dragons is in favour this week (which I do), because I recognise that you can't game-design your way out of a problem you didn't game-design your way into.

The fact that one of the biggest problems facing the tabletop roleplaying hobby is something that can't be repaired by fucking around with dice-rolling procedures is a bitter pill to swallow for a lot of indie game designers, and I won't say I wasn't resistant to it myself, but it's something that's both useful and necessary to accept.

(None of this means that the text of Dungeons & Dragons in any of its incarnations is beyond criticism on other grounds, of course, and I've never been shy about highlighting those criticisms where they're warranted. The only way you're gonna arrive at the conclusion that I'm some sort of D&D apologist is if you're starting from the presumption that The Real Problem Is The Rules.)

[wagpastie]

sometimes i see peoples posts that make sweeping statements about specific demographics with absolute certainty and its just like. man you truly just not have had many good people in your life huh

[ashherahh]

your next major relationship

Note: Please take it if it resonates, leave it if it doesn't. Meditate before making your decision. It's completely okay if you don't resonate with this reading. The collective is huge and I'm sure you'll receive the messages you need in due time.

pile 1

Cards: Seven of Wands, The Fool Rx, Five of Pentacles, Two of Cups Rx.

You're very close to achieving your goal.

Luck is on your side.

I am surprised that you actually still believe in relationships and love after the absolute shit shows of the past. You must feel like the most unlucky person when it comes to love.

Past relationships always brought out this kind of cold war with you and your partner, as though you were always at odds with your partners. Part of you felt like you were the problem for the longest time because you know, common denominator but upon more reflection, you've come to terms with the fact that you were asking the wrong people for what you need.

Those experiences hardened you. I'm seeing that it'll bleed into this next relationship to a certain degree. Your next relationship will heal a lot of those wounds of the past. You'll go from someone who always finds themselves explaining themselves and having that turn into a fight, to someone who no longer has to worry about being misunderstood.

When the cards first popped out, the messages were quite clear. Past relationships may influence your next major one, but you can always turn that around. You literally have luck on your side, your next major relationship is going to be a good one if you let it.

Love requires trust, and that might be the most difficult thing for you now but it'll be worth it.

pile 2

Cards: Two of Pentacles Rx, Two of Cups, Nine of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles Rx.

The answers you need are coming.

A time for healing.

You build something in your next relationship. Possibilities are endless, but it'll definitely redefine how you see yourself and your life. It's a leveling up in life.

Gone are the days of feeling uncertain and uncomfortable about making decisions about your life. This next major relationship kicks everything into gear, an inspiration is birthed from this union that brings you closer and closer to the life you've always dreamed of living.

It'll come in suddem but it'll last. This is a relationship you'll have for years and years, this person will be around and see you through so many phases of life.

Maybe you have some planets in the 7th house or some of them are in Libra. Those placements usually thrive in partnerships because it acts as a reflection, it helps them delve deeper. Even if you don't have those placements, that is what this relationship will be.

This will truly be a beautiful partnership. One that is filled with mutual trust and love and ways of thinking. It'll be one that is so understanding and deep. This is someone you can truly be yourself with.

pile 3

Cards: Strength, Five of Wands, The Emperor, The Moon.

Believe in the impossible.

Balance spirituality and practicality.

This will hit you like a freight train. No one truly expects to meet someone who will become an integral part of their life, it usually builds slowly over time. Not this person though, you'll know when you meet this person. It'll be so immediate and in your face, you won't be able to deny the importance this person will have going forward.

Your connection will feel surreal at times. It's giving Edward and Bella. Get a room, honestly. The emotions are big in this relationship, it's very intense. But it's the kind of partnership that is strong through all trials and tribulations.

You know you can depend on this person no matter what you face, they are solid and strong. Their strength gives you strength in a way.

This next major relationship really exhances who you are. It influences you in a way that solifies your character and who you are. The relationship is quite balanced, giving and receiving is done in great degrees and in your own unique ways.

This is not the kind of relationship you lose yourself in at all. Individualism is respected by both you and your partner.

[allaboutthemoonlight]

How to Master Motivation

Hi friends,

Today I want to talk about motivation and finding ways to maintain it in our daily lives. Motivation is a crucial factor that drives us to achieve our goals, overcome challenges, and stay committed to our development.

Understand the locus of control

Our locus of control, internal or external, is the degree to which we believe we have control over what happens to us in our lives. It influences how we respond to circumstances that impact us and how motivated we feel to take action.

An external locus of control is when we believe that our life and the outcomes we experience are a result of external forces beyond our power. We think everything that happens to us occurs because of chance or luck—two things we can’t control.

The key to staying motivated is to develop an internal locus of control. This is when we believe that we’re responsible for the things happening to us and understand that we have control over the outcome. It’s a level of self-determination where we realize our efforts, decisions, and habits create the life we live.

So, how do we adopt an internal locus of control?

The first point I want to emphasize is that, regardless of your perception of how much control you have over your life, the amount of work you put into something is always within your control. The first step is to abandon the mindset that everything is left up to chance and, because of this, you should stop trying. You need to understand that you always have some level of power over your circumstances, even if you’ve been told otherwise:

Be more aware of the choices you make and realize there is always a choice to be made.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or guidance from those around you.

Spend time self-reflecting and trying to understand yourself better. Reflect on previous instances where you’ve felt a lack of control and write down what could have been done instead.

Don’t be afraid to fail; it’s an opportunity to learn.

Know the different types of motivation

Next, I want to talk about the different types of motivation and how they impact you.

There are 4 different types of motivation, each with their own distinctions:

Intrinsic motivation: This is where you do something because it aligns with your values or just because it’s fun. Although it’s good to have intrinsic motivation, this type is fragile and can be undermined when we start feeling like we’re losing autonomy over our choices.

Extrinsic motivation: This is what most people think of when they imagine motivation. It’s when our motivation comes from outside of us—we’re doing something for a reward or to avoid a punishment. It’s the opposite type of motivation that you should seek if you want to be self-driven.

Introjected: This type of motivation can create resentment or tension. We do something because if we don’t, we’ll feel shameful or guilty. For example, you might go to the gym not because you enjoy it or care about the health benefits, but because you feel guilty if you don’t work out.

Identified: The reason you’re doing something is because it aligns with your idealized self. It’s something that you’ve internalized to be important and allows you to behave in accordance with your self-concept and identity. This is the most important type because it creates habitual behaviors are no longer choices. We understand our identity and that certain habits and behaviors need to be done so that we’re constantly aligned with our higher selves. For example, you might regularly volunteer at a local shelter or organization because you’re someone who values compassion and community service.

So, how can we implement identified motivation more into our lives?

Really try and understand the reasoning behind a goal you want to achieve. Ask yourself “why do you actually want this thing?”. This is also a good time to review your values and whether or not your goal aligns with them.

Constantly remind yourself about why the outcome matters to you because we often forget the reason that we started in the first place. —ex.

Like James Clear said, make your goal, system, habit, or whatever you’re wanting to accomplish more motivating or fun. Beyond that, start associating the reward with the challenge itself. If you’re training for a marathon, instead of seeing the finish line as the only reward, find or fulfillment in the training process and the discipline you developed along the way.

Adopt a positive mindset. Rather than complaining about having to workout in the morning or studying for an exam, start saying “I get to study for this exam and further my education” or “I’m blessed to have a body that works for me and allows me to exercise”. It’s all about perspective and embracing gratitude. If you put half the energy that you use from complaining into figuring out how to take the next step, you’ll accomplish a lot more.

Don’t neglect your emotional and mental health

Slumps are very real, and mental health can impact every aspect of motivation. Self-improvement and changing your life aren’t easy journeys by any means, and there will be times when stress and feelings of being overwhelmed can paralyze you. In these moments, it’s critical to take a break, a breather, or anything that can help reset your mental health. Remember to engage in activities that support your emotional needs. Not every second of the day needs to be spent doing something productive or working toward your goals. It’s okay to take breaks and have rest days; in fact, I think it’s crucial.

Reward yourself often, even for the smallest achievements. It’s not about what you completed, but the fact that you completed something at all. Spend time acknowledging your accomplishments.

Take it one step at a time and remember no action is too small. Starting small is what helps us build consistency in the long run.

Embrace positive self-talk. Avoid talking yourself into a negative spiral, as it will only make you lose motivation and put you in a slump.

Get an accountability partner. Having someone in your corner who will cheer for you and keep you accountable is a game changer.

Stay motivated, stay grateful, stay resilient.

Love,

Luna<3

[shaniacsboogara]

jojo siwa claiming she's revitalizing gay pop and releasing 'karma' on the same night as conan gray's 'found heaven' and chappell roan's 'good luck babe' is so poetically ironic. it's like the universe WANTS to draw a comparison between jojo and queer pop artists.

the thing that makes queer pop compelling as a genre is the unique storytelling and experiences of queer artists told through their music. that doesn't necessarily mean every song by a queer artist has to be about their queerness. they don't have to scream "hey i'm gay!" in every single song they write. but claiming to be "reinventing gay pop" should mean you're telling interesting stories about your queer experience, right???

'found heaven' by conan gray is about growing up as a queer kid with religious guilt and disapproving parents. he equates being in love in an authentic way to "finding heaven", and the piece as a whole resonates with a TON of queer people in different stages of their lives. some people can look back at their childhoods and how much they've grown since then, some can relate because they're currently going through what conan's written about, and some people can sympathize with the way some queer people are treated, even if they aren't necessarily queer themselves.

'good luck babe' is a song about queerness and compulsory heterosexuality. chappell sings about a woman she was in a relationship with who decided to settle down in a conventional marriage despite being queer. the song reflects the denial a lot of queer people go through (specifically regarding the lesbian experience) and the unfortunate way a lot of them end up repressing who they are to conform to societal standards. it's fun, it's campy, but its message is still poignant.

as for karma… there's nothing inherently queer about that song. the music video for the original version, ‘karma’s a bitch’ by brit smith, featured a heterosexual storyline. jojo buying the rights to a song she didn't write isn't inherently a bad thing, a lot of mainstream artists do that all the time. however, if you're claiming to be a pioneer of the “gay pop” genre and your music doesn't reflect any queer themes or experiences, is it really “gay pop”? again, queer artists don't have to write exclusively about their queerness, but if you try to present yourself as a voice for the queer community without telling any of their stories, you're not going to be lauded as some revolutionary figure. if any of the songs on jojo’s album are actually about her experience as a lesbian or contain any queer themes, then i think she'd qualify as a “gay pop” artist. but so far, she's given us a faux edgy, generic pop song and tried to market it as some insane never-been-done-before feat. and honestly, if her entire album is like this and she continues to market herself this way, it's a slap in the face to all the genuine artists and storytellers in the queer community.

but let's stop talking about jojo siwa and start talking about the incredible queer artists who are truly breathing life into the "gay pop" genre: chappell roan, renee rapp, ben platt, conan gray, girl in red, kevin atwater, baby queen, mitski, clairo, dodie, and SO MANY MORE (feel free to add on some of your favourites because there are so many wonderful artists out there <3)

also: if you have a different perspective on this situation i would absolutely love to hear what you think and if you agree / disagree with this! i love discussing topics like this so feel free to reblog with your own take

[somewhere-at-the-burrow]

𝒜𝒩𝒮𝒲𝐸𝑅𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯𝐼𝒪𝒩𝒮

— ​𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 | @tubadorashifts

(( these questions are amazing! i have so so much i want to say about my life at hogwarts that i get overwhelmed aaaa so this is PERFECT! this is also my longest post yet, so buckle in yall i'm about to overshare on the internet ‼️))

1. If you’re DR is set in the 90s/70s - How different is it to modern day? What are some changes you like and what changes did it take a while for you to get used to?

this question might be difficult to answer, as in my DR I am fully involved in the wizarding world and I don't really have that much contact with the muggle world, but definitely the technology! that might seem like a no-brainer and something to be expected when shifting to Hogwarts, but I wasn't expecting how different it would be. the hardest thing for me to adapt to was not being able to pull out my phone to take a picture whenever I wanted to. there were so so many little moments when I was at the Burrow where I would have the most perfect photo idea and I would realize I don't have my phone and realize I left my old film camera in my room. getting used to carrying that thing around and learning more about it (as my dad (arthur) brought it home for me one day and we fixed it up in the workshop!) is such a hassle sometimes. AND I HAVE TO DEVELOP FILM... which is rewarding in the end but sometimes I miss the instant gratification of a smartphone!

a change I do like is the style of music, both wizarding and muggle. I feel like the popular wizarding bands definitely reflect the 90s atmosphere in music, with many different new songs that have changing sounds in alternative rock and sometimes even annoyingly catchy pop songs. many other wizarding bands have themes that go all of the way back to classic jazz, so the range is INSANE. the music is truly so immersive, as the wizarding community is generally in favor of playing all types of music (at parties etc) both wizarding and muggle. truly an education!

2. If you’re part Veela/Metamophmagus/Mermaid/siren/werewolf etc. what is it like?

being a siren is still a change I am getting used to in my new DR, but it is absolutely something out of my biggest fantasies. as a girl who loves the sea and all her mythology, actually being a part of the sirens and learning about all of their folklore is a sacred experience I hold so dear to my heart. the life I have lived as a siren (even though my actual shift was quite short) feels so innate and like something I won't ever forget.

with being a blood-related siren comes many many things I didn't fully expect. there is a siren language (which I can speak in that reality), rituals and ceremonies that I noticed, and certain abilities that are passed on through family. there is also the wizarding public, who looks to sirens with curiosity because they are so closely related to merpeople and veela, yet they have such a distinct culture of their own. because there are so little sirens that engage with the wizarding world, I am kind of known as "that siren girl" and sometimes people say it negatively, but it is usually people who take the merfolk classification of "beast" very seriously and they are a bunch of idiots CONTINUE

3. Where do you change into your robes on the Hogwarts Express?

the Hogwarts express is completely different (length wise) on the inside than on the outside. when I first got onto the train, I was completely blown away when the twins and I walked into a long compartment that looked almost like a diner. they were serving pear & apple cider and I thought it was so cool that they had a bunch of different train areas. I walked around with Ginny during our train ride, and we found a bunch of these changing rooms / bathrooms and I remembered changing there in previous years so that is where we went!

inside of these bathrooms, it definitely has an expansion charm because it feels small while also having a lot of space for many students?? kind of like how the train expands or shrinks to fit the amount of compartments needed? also, these rooms are definitely hot spots for seeing other students bc tell me why I saw half of my year while I was in there for maybe 20 minutes??

4. If you’re an exchange student - How does the sorting ceremony work? Do you get sorted with the first years regardless of what year you’re in or do you get privately sorted somewhere else, like Dumbledore’s office?

this has only happened twice that I remember, and both times the students were sorted before the first years and Dumbledore gave kind of a mini introduction to their year and where they came from. personally, I would've been so scared to be individually introduced like that, especially in a new school with people I've never seen before. But Hogwarts is just kind of crazy like that, and the random outings by staff in front of the entire Great Hall never get boring I SWEAR!

5. Is Hogwarts a lot different to how you imagined? Is it like the movies or was there any changes?

I'd like to say the hours I've spent touring the castle on games like Hogwarts Legacy would prepare me for it, but I was still absolutely blown away (and I don't say that lightly)! the biggest thing for me was the sheer height of the castle! it is kind of a thing among newer Hogwarts students to not look up at the towers from the ground, as some people get this kind of reverse-vertigo? other than that, it definitely has the same vibe as the movies, except things feel waaay more spread out in my DR. I swear, in the movies Harry and Ron are getting to class in ten minutes, and I can barely get to my next class with my 30 minute passing time IT IS SO STRESSFUL. especially when I go from Care of Magical Creatures all the way to Advanced Herbology on tuesday mornings LIKE I AM RUNNING they are on opposite sides of the castle. I get the same feeling when I walk into the Grand Staircase and see all of the steps. I'm definitely debating adding a floo-network for easier transportation, but it is quite fun to feel like i'm getting a workout while exploring my favorite place ever!!

6. What are some classes you weren’t expecting to like as much as you did?

def divination! everybody kind of hates on divination for being a class that people only take when they have a free hour and nobody really takes it seriously, but I love the atmosphere so much and it feels like the kindest part of the castle when I am in my Advanced Div. 1 class. because I am in the advanced class (which prepares for OWLs), everyone there genuinely wants to be there and I am obsessed with the teacher student ratio of that class. there are probably less than ten students taking advanced divination and we all know each other so well and so far it has ended with us practicing techniques on each other or just filling in professor Trelawny on what is happening throughout the castle. sometimes in a class that small it just ends up being a bunch of divination nerds gathered around a table with the professor reading tarot or something ! it is my little safe haven in a castle so obsessed with intense schedules and such

6. And the opposite - What are some classes that you didn’t end up liking?

in my uni-structured Hogwarts, you can stop taking certain basics classes after your third year, so DADA was OUT. i never really liked that class because I remember always thinking that the environment was super energetic and one of my friends (??) El was kind of my academic rival in that class and that mf never left me alone. i am definitely built for more personalized classes and that is okay! Hogwarts has something for everyone once you pass the basics! also, FUCK HOME STUDY CLASS. i signed up for that class because it was supposed to be a general home economics class that teaches basic spells for around the house (like cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc) but the professor is an absolute NIGHTMARE and she reminds me of rita skeeter somehow?? also, Fred and George took that class as a joke (seriously, nobody has any idea why they took it), and now it is just constant bickering between professor and students. every time I've stepped into that classroom this week, I've wondered, "how are the boys going to harass professor reen today??"

7. Is it strange to be in Hogwarts if you grew up watching the movies? Id imagine it to be a bit surreal

it is so unbelievably surreal. my first night at hogwarts, I hardly got any sleep because I was so overwhelmed with excitement (and I say that so sincerely). all I wanted to do was run around the castle at night and talk to my roommates for hours and I couldn't wait for breakfast because everything felt so amazing. I have been shifting for a couple of years, but Hogwarts was always the place I had been waiting to go to and I wanted it to be special and when I finally was there and I was running my hand on the castle stone behind my bed it all hit me. my entire childhood felt complete. I wasn't worried about anything anymore, and I couldn't believe that I finally made it to the place i'd considered as "home" almost my whole life. in addition, hogwarts no longer felt like something I had only seen on a screen. when I shifted back a day ago, I went on pinterest and saw some photos of the dorms and the great hall and it felt so strange? kind of like if you saw a photo online of a place you've been to in your daily life, and you knew the way around even if the photo didn't show every detail? there was a new awareness of having lived in these places, and I had memories attached to simple things like a photo of the Great Hall from the movies!

8. Have you made any friends in school that aren’t mentioned in the books or movies? Talk a bit about them

if you've seen any of my previous posts, I talk about my little group of friends that live in Ottery St. Catchpole (and some of them don't exist in canon)! one of my closest friends is a girl named June Smithey, and she is a slytherin in my year. we both take advanced div. together and she is so sweet!! her twin brother is El, but he doesn't seem to like me very much and is always competing with me for NO REASON. he always has to hang around us though bc he is Cedric's best friend and sometimes Ced and I are attached at the hip. another best friend of mine is a girl named Vanessa Nacky, and she is a sixth year prefect. everyone calls her Nessa, and she is such a mum figure to all of the younger students and she is so liked by everyone in every house! she is dating Oliver Wood and they are so insanely good for each other I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER COUPLE TRUST ME

9. How long does the Hogwarts express take? If it takes very long - apart from talking to friends, what things do students usually do to occupy their time on the train? Are there different types of games in the wizarding world or popular magazines among witches/wizards?

the Hogwarts express usually takes 7-8 hours! apart from talking, some of my friends and I read the old issues of the Hogwarts newspaper (called the Hogwarts Legacy) and we speculated about what the next year would entail. there is also the diner-areas where they serve small lunch-like snacks (unlike constant candy from the trolley) and different drinks! also, in the movies they made it seem like students could only stay in their compartment the whole time, but that is not how it was like during my journey. people constantly got up to go visit with other friends and see each other after summer, so talking never really got boring! people also compare collected cards (which is a big thing in the wizarding world) and there is even a couple of chess tables in one of the train cars. other than that, reading and sleeping are very popular, as the first day of term is always a very late night and sometimes people just need a little quiet time!

10. What is it like sharing a dorm? Who are you sharing a dorm with and do you like your dorm mates?

thankfully, I went into my DR already being best friends with my dormmates, so each night really felt like an organized sleepover! we each have our own little alcoves where we can keep our stuff and our beds, so I never really felt overwhelmed being in a busy dorm. I share a dorm with Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Iris Fawcett, and Fay Dunbar! I am thankful that most of these lovely girls are on the quidditch team with me, so we really are very close and we spend many nights talking from our beds when we should be asleep :') the whole situation did turn out very well for me, though, as some people in Hogwarts do not like their dormmates very much and are stuck wishing they can become a prefect to get their own dorm. (cough, percy and oliver wood)

11. What is quidditch like? Do you like it or have you decided it’s not for you?

I am OBSESSED with quidditch. in my desired reality, the quidditch season hasn't started yet, but I scripted that I was going to become seeker and I am so unbelievable excited! back at the burrow, we played many small games in the back field, and even though I scripted I would be great at the sport, I genuinely enjoy trying to learn new tricks and improve my ability in other positions (i will never be a good beater I swear 😔). quidditch is such a ceremonial experience for students at Hogwarts.. and there is really no escaping it!! I grew up fascinated by the whole strange concept and rules in this reality, and even if you think the whole idea is stupid the crazy crowd will definitely make up for it bc we all band together for quidditch!!

also, if you choose to get involved in the different leagues and tournaments, there is truly so much content and magazines that are released weekly YOULL NEVER GET BORED! quidditch is such a culture in the wizarding world, and it is comparable to muggle sports leagues and all of the devoted fans that sit down weekly to watch. at the burrow, when the league games are broadcasted on the WWN, we crowd around the radio in the kitchen and sometimes even have dinner while the game is playing if it goes late! and don't even get me started on the WORLD league...

12. Is there anything in the wizarding world that surprised you?

the amount of errands the average wizarding family goes on! to the average movie watcher, it feels like during the summer the students all go home and then the only places the parents go are the Ministry. this was far from the truth for me! at the burrow, mum (Molly) would let me take the floo-network to Diagon Alley whenever I needed to get my film developed, and sometimes she would let some of us go in groups to get supplies / materials for crafts we are doing etc! also, there is another common wizarding market in Birnam that many people go to for fresh produce and lots of cooking things. Molly goes pretty frequently, and when I went once over the summer, I saw people from school there and it is kind of a small hangout spot for wizarding families. another common place to go is Prelly's, which is in the heart of diagon alley and everyone AND THEIR MOTHER has been to Prelly's. it is comparable to a grocery store, except everything is marketed magically and it is so chaotic in there all of the time. that store is so cherished in the wizarding world, I don't think i've ever been to a magical household that doesn't have something from Prelly's. I was so surprised to learn that even wizards had places to shop for groceries 😭

13. What is your favourite place to spend time in Hogwarts/Hogsmeade? Do you have a secret place where you and your friends hang out?

I haven't gotten to explore Hogsmeade that much yet, but inside of Hogwarts there is a small inter-house common room that is called the Selkie Commons. it is located near the main Viaduct and it overlooks the lake through big windows in the stone. it gets its name from the series of stained glass dividers that show pictures of yellow selkies as you enter the room! this place isn't very secret, though, as many people come here to study and sometimes it can even get kind of loud late after dinner. however, this place is technically considered a Study Hall, so it closes at 10:30 and we are limited to hanging out inside of our common rooms :,)

other than that... the art wing. there are certain classes offered for magical art, and a lot of my friends also dabble in those classes because they are such a nice break and the evironment is truly amazing! there is a main studio space, so sometimes we sit in there after school hours, but there is also a little gallery hall that is filled with art books and student works over the years, and sometimes it is fun to sit in there and talk with the portraits and experience the art that students have made years before me. nobody really goes in this specific gallery hall, so we can usually hang out in there late at night until it closes!

15. What are some things in your DR that you couldn’t live without?

my "endless quill"! when we went to diagon alley to shop for school supplies, I used a good portion of my personal money to buy that quill, as it was a newer model that was becoming more popular among students. I didn't know how useful it would be until I actually started using it day-to-day in class! at hogwarts, we are allowed to use pencils and sometimes pens on little notes, but for assignments it is strictly quill and ink and I HATE redipping my quill every couple of lines. I think it is so genius and I am so glad I saved up for it bc it is SO WORTH IT. if you have experience shifting to hogwarts and writing with normal quills, you might feel my pain ‼️

another fun thing is my shared journal! my friend Iris enchanted these journals that can be written in and seen by each other, kind of like Tom Riddle's diary but for multiple people. whenever my main friends and I are separated in the castle or in vastly different classes, sometimes we will leave little notes for each other and then they will all see it the next time they open the journal. we have useless conversations with our friends in different houses in the middle of the night, and it is like our little wizarding form of texting. IT IS MY FAVORITE!!

16. Does butterbeer taste as bad as it does here? (I tried it a couple years ago on the Harry Potter tour in England and it was so gross)

i'm probably so biased (as I LOVE the taste of butterbeer here), but I can say that it does taste slightly different than what it does at the Harry Potter theme park when I went. the cream soda base mixed with the butterscotch topping is definitely an aquired taste, but in my DR it is not as fizzy and it has more buttery undertones? I definitely agree that the fizzy soda they use in this reality is a little jarring, but when I tried it in my desired reality it just warmed my body and left me so comfortable?? I am such a fan, and I have spent so many nights in this reality trying to replicate the recipe bc IT IS SO GOOD. so far, i've found that adding butter extract really helps! i'm a butterbeer defender till the day i die ‼️

17. Spill some drama about random students. Like who cheated on who, what student is a little bitch etc. lol

oh my fcking god I have so much I could say?? I never anticipated talking all about the "random" students, but i am finding that spilling drama about some of these idiots is so enjoyable and if anyone wants more posts abt this I CAN DELIVER ‼️

to begin, I think we should talk about a seventh year slytherin man named Matteo Pearce. he has lots of family in italy and he was doing school years at some fancy italian wizarding school, and he recently just came back to hogwarts this year?? BAD CHOICE. for some reason, the ENTIRE student body is obsessed with him and he always goes around saying seductive shit in italian and i hear the older gryffindor girls giggling about it all the time in the common room. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL—— before he left, he was dating a gryffindor named Poppy (Matthews, i think?) and they kind of had a bad end to their relationship when they moved. so poppy went all GIRLBOSS and became Head Girl, and now all of her "friends" in her dorm hate her bc she has been ignoring Matteo even though he CLEARLY fancies her still. so, on the SECOND week of school, Poppy decided that she would speak to him again and get on good terms, but when she found them he was snogging a DIFFERENT gryffindor girl (and one of poppy's "friends"). the other girl was named Holly Lauren, but when we found out it was her, none of us were surprised bc Holly is always starting things and we could've guessed it was her. I always think it is so funny bc in Fred's second year of school he was actually trying to be friends with Holly (he had a little puppy crush) and every time that girl does something irresponsible I remind Fred of the bullet he dodged ‼️

also, Louisa Bones has a huge crush on Cedric, and she tells EVERYONE but Ced actually likes her roommate Mia Edwards more and won't stop talking about her. which sucked for me to hear bc I was trying to make Cedric my man but whatever 😔

18. Is there any holiday traditions that Hogwarts has?

I haven't been there long enough to experience a lot of the well known holidays, but during the equinox we have a Mabon feast! this is one of the main times during the year that the classic Hogwarts apple pies are made, and the Cooking Club always has sm fun with it!! as for christmas/yule season, in my desired reality there are yearly Yule Balls that occur during Yule, and there is always a giant party for older students that is had and it is tradition for people to try and stay up all night and then sleep on the train that goes home for holiday. kind of like a giant all night celebration before heading home to family!

I am also so so excited for the Halloween feast because we get the day off and a lot of the students carve the pumpkins that are displayed around the castle / in the Great Hall. also, the newspaper ( the Hogwarts Legacy) always makes a giant Halloween edition and from what I've heard it is pretty amazing (and has a lot of secret sections!)

19. Have you been to any of the other Wizarding schools and what are they like? Have you met any of the students?

I will come back and semi-answer this question when we have the Triwizard in a couple of years! I do want to make a Beauxbatons transfer student DR though, just to practice my mediocre french ‼️

(( I covered question 20 already!))

21. Favorite spell to do in your DR?

this is so basic, but definitely Accio. I never knew how much I would love a spell until I got to use accio for the first time! I don't usually use it for grand things though, and it usually occurs when I am getting ready in the morning and I have something across the room. but it is random all of the time and I think it is making me lazy but oh well!! my non verbal / wandless use of accio is also improving tremendously, but that is something that usually comes innately with sirens! IM LEARNING!!

22. If you’re related to someone in the books or movies - what are they like?

being related to the Weasleys is one of the best choices I have made in ANY desired reality. at first I was worried that I wouldn't fit in in some way, but when I first shifted and Ginny came running into my room with the newest Seeker Weekly and I got to experience the dynamic play out, I knew that these lovely people would impact my life in more ways than I could imagine. For starters, having Molly as a mum is like having another best friend. she is always there to recieve my letters, and she is also there for each of her children when they write. sometimes we wonder if all she does is write to us, because we each get personalized letters and she genuinely enjoys hearing about what happens in our lives. Arthur is the most uniquely supportive of dads. he may be gone most of the day at the Ministry, but he always takes time to pick up things that he thinks we would like so we can fix them together in his workshop. the older siblings are hardly around, but they do write and Charlie and I have surprisingly kept in touch! (mostly because of my magical creatures class HE LOVES that someone else is interested in it). Percy is quite similar to how he is in canon, but when he is genuinely happy it is so contagious to be around. recently, he confessed to dating Penelope Clearwater, and we got to have her over for dinner. certain people bring out the best in him! the twins are as expected! since we all have birthdays in april of the same year, we were inseperable throughout childhood. something I love is how involved I am in the creation of their little business! they get so passionate about the things they care for, and I think other students assume they don't care, but that is far from the truth! the weasleys are so family oriented and we take family dinner and talking about our days very seriously! they all have hearts of gold and the compassion of that family is so admirable <3

if you've read this far, thank you so much for sticking around and letting me explain this life of mine that I hold so close!

as I was writing this, I only realized how little I actually covered and how much I could talk about my DR. I still can't believe that I have finally shifted to Hogwarts??

happy shifting everyone!

tonight is your night!

— 𝐝𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐧𝐞

[lackadaisycats]

Why does Fablepaint draw such mean spirited art of Rocky. Is it a personal sense of humor kind of thing? Or does disturbingly mean spirited art the only way for FablePaint to draw this character. Is it possible for some more lighthearted and optimistic stories regarding Rocky to show up anytime soon? I’m not saying this to try to be offensive or aggressive, I just think the world’s depressing enough, why make the fictional world sad as well. I do love the comic, I just wish it was happier.

I don't think Fable's art of Rocky is especially mean-spirited. At least no more so than mine has been. Rocky has always been a character with a knack for getting himself into trouble. I do know that Fable likes Rocky and finds various aspects of Rocky's personality and circumstances pretty relatable. I think a lot of what you're seeing actually comes from a place of affection, and maybe even a little bit of vicarious self-deprecation. I will tell you from my own experiences, this is very common among creators (myself included). A character may not be an intended self-insert of any sort, but you inevitably still end up with bits and pieces of yourself reflected therein. And in many ways, you're also inevitably sorting out some turmoil close to your own heart through the character and the story they inhabit.

-----------------

About the broader topic of sad things in fiction... Yeah, the world is harsh, cruel, and unfair even at the best of times, but I don't think art that fully disregards this does much service to anyone. The most fluffy, pastel-colored, marshmallow-mild media will still tend to present us with some conflict, because that's how a story manages to resonate. It's hard to convey something meaningful about human resilience, or abiding love, enduring friendship, confronting inner demons, triumph over injustice, or about the absurdity of living without acknowledging the darkness. Even if you're just writing something to make light of the implacable dark, it must be there for you to laugh at.

I think it's fine to use fiction as a temporary retreat from your own real life concerns. And I think it's fine to have comfort characters who you turn to when you need some uplifting. There are a lot of really sweet and lovely fan-works featuring Rocky out there that are much gentler with him than Fable or I will be. You can stick with those! That's okay! But canonically, he's part of a story about a tumultuous time in history, and a tumultuous time in his own troubled life. He's a flawed character surrounded by other flawed characters. He's willfully taken on the role of a violent criminal, in fact. And though I don't think the story of Lackadaisy is without happy, silly, lighthearted aspects, it's not only that. I can't change that without undoing everything I've been working toward. I hope that's understandable.

[david-talks-sw]

"The Acolyte" wasn't 'woke' propaganda.

I had my issues with the show (you can check out my other posts to see what they were) but there's this notion that The Acolyte was created to spread The Message™ of "woke propaganda"... and I think there's a bit of a mix-up going on, there.

Because that's simplifying things a lot.

When you're a minority, you're not "being woke" when you're just being yourself! Conversely, you're not "writing to be woke" when you're a minority drawing inspiration from your personal experiences to tell a story.

I talked before about how George Lucas implemented elements of his personal life in his own films. In his own words:

"There's no way to write without writing from yourself. Y'know, the stuff gets made out of things that you care about… whether you've actually lived them or not. There are emotional issues that you deal with, and I think that's always a major factor with any writer. I don’t think— it's hard to write without having some kind of emotional connection to the material. I've never seen any reason not to. It’s easy to write that way. It's hard to write in the abstract. So when I write a scene, I write a scene that moves me or I care about, or is something that is personal to me." - George Lucas, Q&A with Lynne Hale, 1994 (StarWars.com)

Any piece of writing worth some salt needs to come from a personal place to some degree because that's where the heart of the story, the truth, lies. That's what an audience will relate to.

Example: The six original Star Wars films are purely George Lucas. As in, everything in those films, from the characters, to the cinematography, to the editing style, etc are all a reflection of who George is as a person and what he stands for:

anti-Vietnam / "fight the corporate & imperial machine"

60s-70s white kid from Modesto, California

single father of three

who defines himself as Methodist-Buddhist,

has an anthropology major and

a passion for Kurosawa,

cinema vérité,

cinema history in general

art and visuals and

car racing.

You see all that in those films.

Same thing with The Acolyte.

Leslye Headland drew from her personal experiences.

Among other things, Leslye is gay. So that's what she uses as inspiration to, for instance, craft Qimir's character motivation.

"I was on the treadmill being like, “What is [Qimir] gonna say?!” And my wife, who is a huge part of my creative process, finally she said, “What do you wanna say? Stop thinking of it like you have to somehow tap into a different guy.” [...] I was like, “I wanna say that people don't want me to exist as a gay woman, as a woman in this particular space, working in this wild sandbox.” There was a whole crew of people who believed in me, but deep down, I felt like, “I am unaccepted for who I am because of what I believe in and wanting to wield my power the way I'd like without having to answer to the legion of people that just exist out there.”" - Leslye Headland, Collider, 2024

She took this specific life experience of hers, and then made it more universal, so that a bigger audience could relate to it.

"By the way, I think everybody feels this way. I think that's why it resonates when you're honest about yourself, and you get personal about it. When [Qimir] says, “I want freedom,” that's what I want. I just want freedom. I want to be able to just be out there and be myself and be the type of artist I want to be without having to answer to anybody." - Leslye Headland, Collider, 2024

Same goes with Osha and Sol's relationship, or how she defines the Jedi Order. It derives from her own relationship with her father and how she felt being raised straight, in a Christian household.

If you have the time, listen to this audio clip where she describes that.

In the context of the whole interview, her voice goes down a few octaves and starts to crack a bit. This is a vulnerable moment, when she's talking about it... and it's this experience that she turned into fuel for her writing of Sol and Osha's father/daughter bond.

"There's this thing that's called benign sexism, and part of it is this paternal protectionism — it seems like this good thing, but like you said, there's this, “I have to protect you from everything. I have to make sure you're okay. I have to tell you what track to get on, and then once you're on that track, I need to support you.” Ultimately, what happens is — again, this is a father-daughter relationship — as women evolve in their lives and develop their own personalities separate from their fathers, at some point, they have to reject that protectionism. [...] She cannot stay a little girl or an adolescent or young adult. She has to, at some point, say, “I reject what you have told me I need to do to make you proud, to follow in your footsteps.” She has to do that." - Leslye Headland, Collider, 2024

Now... if we're talking consistency with the themes in Lucas' Star Wars, then yeah, The Acolyte misses the mark.

The Jedi Order isn't the patriarchy or the Catholic Church. They're more like Buddhist monks, George has stated so multiple times.

The Jedi teachings aren't narratively meant to be the same traits found in toxic masculinity or benign sexism.

When a Jedi tells you to be mindful of your emotions, it's not meant in the "boys don't cry" sense.

When they talk about letting go of attachments, it's not meant in a stoic "don't get emotionally involved" sense.

Anakin too, the whole point is that he's wrong, the narrative frames his fall to the Dark Side as his own fault, it's not meant to be perceived as a failure in upbringing.

But she's not the only one who does it. Filoni does it too, a majority of fans have this take on the Jedi.

And because of her experiences, I can see why her takeaway would be that. Same goes for Filoni, they're products of their generation, upbringing and experiences.

My point is:

Leslye Headland is writing from a personal place, when she's writing The Acolyte. It's partially informed by her politics because - like she quotes, "personal is political" - but when it comes to the writing of the show, it's personal first and foremost.

What this was, was a Star Wars fan (arguably the nerdiest one we've had so far, in terms of creators) putting all of herself in the creation of a show that perfectly reflects who she is and what she stands for, resulting in:

a story about growing past your father's paternal control and accepting that our guides aren't infallible,

where her wife holds a role and gets to wield a lightsaber,

a show about taking corrupt religious institutions to task

about the Sith and the Dark Side

and questioning the unquestionable

and exploring whether the good are really so good and if the bad are really so bad.

This was a project written from the heart, and regardless of whether the resulting art found its mark, I think it's important to note that it wasn't written to spread a propaganda message in some "pro-woke holy war" or whatever the hell the YouTubers are peddling.

[ceilidho]

This is in no way of hating but i want to know why do you enjoy writing noncon/rape? When I first downloaded tumblr which was couple of months ago i was surprised by the amount of noncon fics here. I eventually came to enjoy them which makes me question myself. Whenever i read a noncon fic and enjoy it i feel like im betraying women who actually went through those traumatic events. Plus I actually don't really like dark romance books? I love cod dead dove and that is mainly because i really love the characters and the authors are so talented. I rambled so much and i hope you don't get this in the wrong way i don't mean to hate AT ALL i love the stuff you write. Maybe i shouldn't think too much and let myself enjoy what im reading lol

first of all, no worries! i wasn't sure about your tone/intentions at first, but by the end i was totally fine with the question.

i actually don't mind talking about this stuff - i just sometimes avoid it on main because i prefer chatting about it privately.

second, i'm no psychologist or sociologist, so i probably won't be able to give you the most satisfactory answer, but i think there are a lot of different reasons. i can only name a few. one thing i should mention right off the bat is that rape fantasies are very normal (and this is true whether you're a survivor of SA or not) and writing/reading fiction can be a safe way to process those thoughts/feelings.

one of prevailing reasons is, of course, that many survivors of SA use noncon/dubcon literature/art as a way of processing their experiences and taking ownership of their trauma.

and look, people are going to go back and forth on this point (i've seen it all before - many people refuse to believe that engaging with noncon lit/art is helpful, and in fairness, it's NOT helpful for everyone because every person is different), but at the end of the day, if a survivor tells you "writing/reading this was helpful in my recovery" then that's that!

additionally, for many women and non-binary folk (i can only speak as a cis woman, but i'm sure this is a shared lived experience across many different people), we're also taught from a very young age to suppress our sexual desires / that being open about our sexuality is morally reprehensible and shameful. and a lot of people carry that shame for years, impacting them well into adulthood. so dubcon/noncon fantasies can be a way of being able to enjoy sexual scenarios where you don't have to be the initiator, thus taking away some of the emotional weight and shame.

plus, at the end of the day (and im sure many people will disagree with this take, it's something that i'm still figuring out myself), there is a kind of weird underlying consent implicit in dark fics. like, you might be reading a fic or novel that's ostensibly noncon, but you're also actively seeking out that literature (hopefully it's not just sprung on you - i do very much agree with tagging to the fullest extent and my lukewarm take is that I think all books, even traditionally published ones, should come with content/trigger warnings too).

there are a medley of reasons why someone might write or read dark fiction/dark romance. again, i'm just one person and i can only speak from my own experience!

i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that fiction is fake, and as long as the writer appropriately tags their work and ensures that the audience is aware of what they're getting into when they start reading, they're not coercing the reader into something they aren't prepared for.

and it's totally fine if you have limits (like, you can read and enjoy dubcon, but not noncon) or can't engage with the material at all, but it's also unfair to say that it reflects someone's real life values - the same way that we don't say that the people who enjoy crime fiction must love murder.

and the last thing i want to say because this got a bit out of hand lol, is that, yes, for some people dark fiction is genuinely harmful, whether or not they're a survivor. it's not for everyone and that's completely fine and i'm aware of that, which is why i agree that you should tag as much as possible (even if you feel like you're overdoing it sometimes), but someone else's discomfort doesn't give them the right to tell you how to process your own emotions/experiences/desires/etc.

as long as no one's getting hurt, there's no issue as far as i'm concerned. and sorry but, no one's getting hurt by reading a fic or a novel unless the author didn't give proper content warnings - if you "forgot" to read the tags or read anyway DESPITE being warned, im sorry but that's life.

[deadandphilgames]

A note from Daniel (new epilogue from You Will Get Through This Night)

Thank you for reading This Night. Writing this book in 2021, while sitting locked down in a lightless basement apartment for months, had a certain self-fulfilling irony that was not lost on me.

In many ways, I wrote this book for not only my past self that I wish could have known these things when I needed them most - but for the guy sitting in an incredibly uncomfortable, hunched, t-rex-esque position typing, that needed it right then. Like many of you, I thought those particularly fun couple of years were a temporary inconvenience, that I wouldn't have to age the book by diving into. And here we are. I hope you enjoyed that new chapter about resilience and whatever the hell a 'polycrisis' is. Turns out certain global events do have an additional effect on our mental health - it's understandable that you may try to power through it and pretend it never happened, but we all deserve to take whatever time we need to honestly process how life makes us feel. I hope you're doing alright. My journey of reflecting honestly on my own life experiences and lifestyle while writing was …like spontaneously punching yourself in the stomach. "Wow. I really live like this? That is apparently not conducive to a healthy mind. Oops. Guess I'll go touch some grass." I'm happy if that made this a more entertaining read occasionally.

Even now, I find myself continually re-reading the book in those small moments of first emotional reaction to situations where I now at least think "Wait - what was I supposed to do here? Right. Not catastrophise." If this is you - that is fine. You are not expected to perfectly memorise this book or retain all knowledge you hear in life. I know I don't. If you're ever sat next to me in the emergency exit aisle of a plane, know that you may be required to physically throw me out of the door in order to inflate the slide because I was busy during the briefing, imagining how my life would have been different if I actually had the nerve to dye my hair black that time in school. I am at peace with that.

It was honestly terrifying for me to try and mine the content of my life to try and actually illustrate advice for people that may really need it …for me to honestly look at the balance between joking about my mental health, and really getting real. Hey - if your attempt at opening up via some humour comes out a bit offensive, you still get points for at least putting it on the table. That's progress.

This is not a book about me. I am here just as an example of terrible behaviour that you have permission to have an inappropriate public transport snort at, and as a writer who has repeatedly not finished traditional 'self-help' or scientific study books for being dry, unrelatable and preachy. I just hope you found this moist, identifiable and accepting of all of your beautiful flaws. So many flaws. I often worried if any of the material was maybe obvious, or something you could stumble across on the second page of Google - then I had a small moment of honesty with myself contemplating my own ignorance, commitment to procrastination, attention span …and the fact that factually just 0.63% of all people searching online, ever bother clicking to the second page of results. If you already knew some of this, good for you. Honestly. You must literally be happy with yourself. I'm just looking in the mirror and trying to do something for the 99.37% of humanity that spend their lives never successfully researching how to not lay awake at night fantasising about their doom. Look forward to the upcoming pocket size book of 'offensively self-destructive jokes' by Dan - or 700-page memoir of my yet un-girthy, mostly unremarkable life so far if that's what you're really looking for.

Perhaps the most terrifying result of releasing this book into the world, has been coming face to face with those of you that have read it. For in these moments, all of my protective self-deprecating persona comes crashing down in an instant when someone says this book made them feel better. Hearing that this book was the first time they finished anything tangentially related to self-improvement, or that just one thing they read was a new perspective on a part of their life they needed, makes me feel my mission in life is already complete. Seeing it be recommended by bookstores amongst all the other choices, hearing that people have shared it with their therapists or had it suggested to them by a professional, is an unbelievable seal of approval that I appreciate. I am so inarticulably grateful to have been given the opportunity to do anything that could make your life easier, more peaceful, more enjoyable. I've met people who annotated this book with post-its, told me they listen to audiobook exercises on their commute - and even a few people that have had illustrations tattooed onto them as a symbolic reminder of a message.

All of this puts that year of typing like some kind of infinite monkey at a typewriter into perspective. I'd do it all again. Mostly. It has been the greatest privilege of my life to be the guy whose name is printed on this book, and I just hope that reading it helped you, as much as writing it helped me.

Love and good luck.

- Dan

[eamour]

you are within yourself.

one important realisation i had — thanks to former loa blogger aphrodite apprentice — that challenged my point of view was to realise WHO is manifesting. when i say "who", i‘m not talking about "who in this reality is manifesting" but rather "who inside of me is manifesting".

the mind outside of the body.

imagination creates reality — in other words — your 4D creates your 3D. your 4D is your mind (not the physical one), your 3D is everything outside of it. you, not your body with flesh blood, but you, the real you aka pure consciousness, exist in your mind in its unconditioned form (let’s call it the 4D shape of yours). other than your mental image, you also exist as a physical image in the 3D. that’s your 3D shape with a body you can perceive with all of your senses. the same way you are the 4D, you are also the 3D — the physical embodiment of your consciousness and whatever you are aware of. the 3D is the same as your 4D, in terms of its content.

the body within the mind.

if you can still follow me, you will understand what is meant when we say "you are always within yourself". you experience the 3D which is a reflection of your 4D. you are WITHIN your 3D, meaning, WITHIN whatever goes on in your 4D. you are LIVING the 4D experience in a different (here: 3D) medium.

all things come from imagination. when you desire, when you imagine… you all do it in the same place: imagination. there is nothing but imagination. so everything you can touch, smell, taste, hear and see has been imagined once. concluding, your body is something that comes from your imagination (let’s call it mind, which does not refer to your physical body but a mental place).

if your body comes from your mind, it also exists there. your body is in your mind, not the other way round. that also means your mind isn’t in in your body. you are within your own mind, inside your own imagination — just physically.

changes from within.

knowing this, it makes more than enough sense to change self because there is only self. there is nothing outside of self, neither mentally nor physically. everything that exists is you. everything originates from your imagination.

it’s unreasonable to try to change the 3D or hope for changes when whatever you are dissatisfied with physically is what you have accepted mentally. your 3D exists within you, we just call it 4D. and it’s not some place where things are perfect. it’s a place where things CAN be perfect if you choose them to be. and the changes you make in there directly affect the 3D, so changing the 3D always means to change the 4D first.

3D or 4D — it doesn’t matter. technically, they are the same. but when we advice to change the 4D first, it’s actually the only place you can actually change. remember, you exist physically but you have always existed mentally. you can stop to experience the 3D but you can never stop experiencing the 4D.

the mental and the physical.

think of your imagination as a house. you're always in there, just like you are always in your own house in the physical world. the key is to realise that the contents of both of these houses, the one that you are in mentally and the one that you are in physically are identical. they look exactly the same. the only difference is that one house can only be accessed by the mind, the other by your senses.

you are always in your own mind and inside of your imagination, mentally such as physically.

with love, ella.

[pepperf]

Genuinely can't decide if the writers intended the Five and Lila relationship to be toxic, or if that's just their idea of romance - just like Rochester, Heathcliff, Darcy, and that dude from Twilight, right???

Okay, let's have a readmore. Note tags, ppl, and curate your experience.

Lila has a relatively sensible approach to relationships, which is consistent, despite her somewhat Machiavellian approach to getting what she wants out of them - she put Diego in his place about having realistic expectations back in s3. She's pretty clear about who she is and where her lines are drawn, and is "weirdly self-actualised", according to Klaus. And Five - romantically inexperienced, thinks everyone should do what he says at all times - tries to impose his notion of How This Should Go onto her, from nearly the start of their brief romance, but leaning hard into it once it starts going sour - which also checks out: he was alone for 45 years and his previous relationship was all in his head, giving him full control, so that's what he's used to. But I couldn't tell if they genuinely intended to show it as him being incredibly selfish in prioritising his feelings over her wishes, or if they honestly thought it was romantic. I mean, the barbed wire-style bracelet is a little on the nose, and there's some symbolism that I'll get into in a sec. Truthfully, I'm not inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt - I think SB at least thought it was hot, judging by what he's said about identifying with Five, and about how he finally gets to have a romance. This seems to have been his pet project for the season, blergh.

It's that tedious old misogynist chestnut, that all women secretly want A Man to take control. It's frustrating, because they already established that Lila likes to be in charge, she wants to be free to make her own choices, she'd already had twenty-plus years of being told what to think and do. And yet she has to remind Five, who really ought to know her better by now, "You do not get to decide what I do with my life!" It's also very disconnected from reality. It's not actually fun or sexy to be gaslighted, to be lied to by some insecure asshole who thinks they know better about what's good for you, that they have a right to stick their nose into your personal relationships or keep you away from your kids. Not cool, Five, not cool. He's lucky she didn't kick him in the nuts on the way out. But another reason I think they didn't do this consciously is that Five doesn't seem to realise his assholery - there's no hint that he's regretting anything other than being dumped.

Lila was trapped for seven years in an intense, claustrophobic situation with Five - and if they'd continued to exist, she could have worked through the feelings that come out of that. Like Ritu said, of course there's going to be love there: they've spent seven years together, on the run. If nothing else, it would be a matter of survival - either you find a way to get along, or you kill each other. And they went in with a fair amount in common already (although being adopted by the Handler at age four is not at all the same as being recruited by her at age fifty-something). So I'm annoyed that Lila's whole arc this season is one of frustration about having to be the grown up in her relationship, taking a break to reassess, going off to do something a bit crazy and fun - and promptly getting stranded with someone considerably less emotionally competent.

Okay, I'm being somewhat harsh - Lila unexpectedly getting the timeout she wanted could've been a decent storyline, she could have some time to reflect, live the child-free life without consequences, and have some adventures (she actively enjoys danger!). And she and Five got to bond, that had lots of interesting potential, especially with their complicated history. But it tipped over from being a potential opportunity into an immensely over the top punishment for her impulsivity, and took them so far from where they'd started that there's a total emotional disconnect with the main story. Which is a fucking weird choice for one episode in such a short season, ngl.

And then, ugh, she's right back to dealing with the apocalypse, visibly thrown by a Diego who has unexpectedly thought about what she said and is trying to be a better husband, and dealing with a Five who has decided to get territorial. It's deeply uncomfortable, Five is gearing up to start trouble, so wrapped up in his own hurt feelings that he's functionally useless for the actual problem in front of them - leaving Lila to deal with the mess he creates, and then leverage said feelings to get him to put on his big boy pants and help. She still reaches out to him in the end, I think she knows him well enough by this point to understand what makes him tick...and she's having to be the sensible one up to the end of her existence. Can't she have someone who's willing to meet her halfway? The reflecting that Diego did, him making a start on making amends (given that it was only a few hours for him, that's about as much as they could squeeze in) was basically just wasted. They start to reconnect at the end, and mutually apologise for the damage they've done - but that's all they get, and it's a travesty.

Personally I think the whole storyline should have been cut, but if - if - they really felt it added something, they could have given it some time in the real world, see how this shaky new romance holds up against a serious relationship that's been massively fractured. In a different show, that might have been a fine story. But they don't do that. Whatever she might have wanted, Lila doesn't get time to even think about her choices. She gets to stop existing. (Or they could just have not gone there in the first place, god I hate love triangle plotlines, they do no favours for anyone involved!)

Given a continued existence in which to do so, I'm sure Five would have moved on pretty quickly. It's his first romance with a real person, he feels it intensely - but once the dust settled, he'd see that they were in very different emotional places (she wanted to get back to her family, the break from reality is way overdue to end - and he wanted to stay in their little bubble and leave all that behind). The actual romance part was actually pretty brief, and lacking in any deep communication - as Lila says, it wasn't real. They're playing house in an attempt to feel normal - in a greenhouse (a fragile structure, not a real home), eating strawberries (a treat more than real sustenance), like children...hey, maybe I'm wrong and the writers DID intend to do that, bc that's some choice visual metaphors. And they're playing roles: all their normal antagonism - what made them so fun and sparky in previous seasons, and even during the earlier part of their adventure! - disappears. Lila is a chameleon, taking on a character is her happy place - and this was how Five kept himself going, last time he was in this situation, so he's slipping back into that method of survival (although he's not as good as she is at separating reality from fiction). So while all that is totally understandable, it's insubstantial. If Five had the space to do some self-reflection, or if one of his more rational siblings (Luther maybe, or...um...or a friend, if he can make one...or maybe that dude in the Losers Department at the CIA...) sat down with him and explained that you need to treat a partner as an equal, maybe he could do better next time - or double down and keep being an asshole, that's also a strong possibility.

idk - I still don't honestly think the show intended it that way, unfortunately. I think they shoehorned the characters into the scenes they wanted, regardless of sense or even plot requirement. There are a LOT of badly-explained or badly-thought out moments in this season, and this whole mess just adds to the incoherency. Or maybe it's just a consequence of TV - you get multiple creative people involved, and the reasoning gets muddied, especially over time. Maybe it was SB's intention from the start, but he didn't inform the actors until the final season, so they've been playing it straight.

This show has an...interesting tendency to do something that you think is totally unacceptable and just gloss over it at the time, and then address it next season (like Luther apologising to Viktor), as if the writers all brought it up in their respective therapy sessions during the break, and worked through the issues - so maybe if they'd had another season, they would have gone into all that. Maybe. But we're clearly not going to get that, and they're all gone from existence so I can't headcanon that in this universe, they eventually sort it out. So I'm putting it down to one thing:

Break out the dodgy facial hair (I see you're ahead of me, Five) and let's get kicking babies!

[solxamber]

Escape Route - Rollo Flamme x reader

You're stuck at a party that you frankly don't give a damn about. And Rollo Flamme looks like he would rather do anything else than be here, so you grab him and bounce.

Rollo Week D5!

The music is too loud, the room is too crowded, and the entire air reeks of expensive perfume and bad decisions. You stand at the edge of the ballroom, holding a glass of some overly sweet punch you didn’t ask for, trying to look invisible. Unfortunately, being at this stupid party is mandatory. Apparently, skipping it would have “reflected poorly on your reputation,” or so you were told.

You stifle a sigh. It’s exhausting, pretending to enjoy social events when you’d much rather be anywhere else—literally anywhere. That’s when you see him across the room: Rollo Flamme, standing stiffly near the wall, his face an absolute masterpiece of discomfort. He’s gripping a cup of coffee like it’s his lifeline, glaring at everyone in the room like they’re personally responsible for his suffering.

The sight is almost funny. Almost.

You sidle up to him, leaning on the wall next to him. “You look like you’re having the time of your life.”

Rollo doesn’t even look at you. “I could say the same for you.”

You both stand in silence for a moment, watching the partygoers dance, laugh, and chatter away like they’ve got no worries in the world. Meanwhile, you and Rollo look like two people attending your own funerals.

Finally, you break the silence. “Alright, here’s the deal. I need to leave this place immediately before I lose the last shred of my will to live.”

Rollo turns his head slightly, raising a brow. “And what exactly does that have to do with me?”

“I need an excuse,” you whisper conspiratorially. “A solid, believable excuse to bail. And you, my fellow sufferer, look like the perfect partner in crime.”

He gives you a skeptical look. “Why do I have to leave with you?”

“Because,” you say dramatically, “if I walk out alone, they’ll know I was just trying to escape. But if we leave together, we can say we’re conducting... uh...” You tap your chin thoughtfully. “A secret mission. Very important. Top priority.”

He rolls his eyes. “That’s absurd.”

“Exactly. No one would question it because it’s too ridiculous to make up.”

For a second, you think he might just ignore you and stay rooted to the wall. But then, without a word, he downs the rest of his coffee in one annoyed gulp. “Fine. Let’s go before I change my mind.”

You can’t help but grin. “You won’t regret this, I promise.”

“That’s doubtful,” he mutters, but he follows you toward the exit anyway.

The cool night air hits you as soon as you step outside, and it feels like being released from a prison. Rollo falls into step beside you, both of you walking with the same unspoken goal: get as far away from that party as humanly possible.

“So,” you say, kicking a pebble down the street, “what’s your excuse for hating social events?”

“Do I need one?” Rollo replies flatly. “They’re crowded, loud, and pointless.”

You nod sympathetically. “Preaching to the choir. I swear, I spent half the time dodging someone who wouldn’t stop talking about their parents’ imported tea collection.”

Rollo snorts—an actual snort. You file that away as a win.

You glance at him as you walk, noticing how the moonlight softens his usually stern features. “Do you have to attend a lot of these things back at NBC?”

He sighs, pushing his hair back in mild frustration. “Far too many. It’s exhausting pretending to care.”

“Relatable,” you mutter, and he actually smirks, just a little.

The conversation flows surprisingly easily after that. You talk about everything and nothing—your shared distaste for crowded events, books you’ve both read, the unfortunate experiences you’ve had with overly enthusiastic party hosts. Rollo even lets slip a story about accidentally knocking over a punch bowl at a school banquet and watching it spill directly onto the headmaster’s shoes.

“No way,” you gasp between laughs. “What did you do?”

“Stood there and waited for the ground to swallow me whole,” he deadpans, but there’s a small, amused glimmer in his eye.

The walk back to Ramshackle feels shorter than usual, probably because for once, you’re enjoying the company. When you finally reach the dorm, you turn to him, feeling oddly reluctant for the night to end.

“Well,” you say with a grin, “thanks for being my getaway partner. I owe you one.”

Rollo shifts awkwardly on his feet, looking uncharacteristically unsure of himself. He clears his throat, eyes flickering between you and the ground. “Actually... there’s something I wanted to ask.”

You blink. “Oh?”

He straightens his shoulders, as if bracing himself. “Would you... consider going out with me sometime? Officially, I mean.”

You stare at him, caught completely off-guard. Did Rollo Flamme just ask you out?

The vulnerability in his expression is subtle, but it’s there—hidden just beneath his usual seriousness. And honestly? It’s kind of adorable.

A smile tugs at your lips. “Are you saying tonight wasn’t already a date?”

His ears turn the faintest shade of pink. “That’s not what I—”

“I’m kidding,” you laugh, cutting him off. “But yeah. I’d like that.”

Relief washes over his face, and for a moment, he looks... almost happy. It’s a small change, but with Rollo, small is monumental.

You reach out and squeeze his hand, grinning. “You realize you’ve just signed up for more ridiculous excuses to skip social events with me, right?”

He exhales through his nose—a quiet, fond kind of exasperation. “I think I’ll survive.”

As you turn to unlock the door, you feel a sudden rush of warmth in your chest. Maybe tonight wasn’t so bad after all.

Before you step inside, you glance back at him one last time. “See you soon, Rollo.”

He nods, the corners of his mouth twitching upward in the slightest smile. “Goodnight.”

And with that, you slip into the dorm, heart lighter than it’s been in a long time.

It's a little shorter than usual because of the 1k event sowwy :(

Masterlist

[hotdogdynamitezzz]

~ Astro Observations ~

Saturn is known as the protector planet as it rules over barriers, restrictions, delays, limits & any protection that can be forced. Look at your chart to see where you will experience the most setbacks yet are protected. For instance, I've noticed someone with Saturn in the 6th house is very hard working and often puts in twice the work to get places, but they can experience setbacks with their colleagues nitpicking or criticizing them. But they are usually protected, their hard work pays off, or they always thrive. I see A LOT of famous people with Saturn in the 6th house.

Libra risings like people who are like themselves or else they completely avoid those who are obnoxious and aggressive as it appalls them. Yet, I commonly see them drawing in these individuals at the same time. Best rising for enemies to lovers as the main protagonist just doing their thing unbothered until an aries rising shows up lmao.

I notice the type of people we are attracted to reflect our 1st or 7th house in some way. For instance I have Venus in 1st and I always attract Aries rising & Mars in 1st house people. I noticed the same for someone who had Moon in their 1st house commonly attracting Capricorn risings or those with Saturn in their 1st house.

The sun sign is actually very important in your chart and isn't just some hocus pocus bogus crap found in magazine horoscopes. From my observations I've developed a theory that Mutable signs adapt using their sun signs qualities they usually start off HATING but find it necessary to utilize for their own personal power. Cardinal Signs seem to dislike their sun signs qualities and chase after everything using THE OPPOSITE qualities of their sign. It's when they use their sun signs qualities to their advantage they will find their initiations successful. While fixed signs struggle the most to master their own sun signs qualities as it sticks with them through and through, they relate the most to their sun sign as these qualities are something inate they use to identify themselves. However, they struggle to figure out how to use their qualities in a positive light as they can easily get stuck in a cycle.

Ex, a lot of Virgo euns hated cleaning or organizing themselves using lists as they were younger but later adapted because of the many health problems this sign usually experiences so found it necessary

Ex, Cancer suns tend to ignore their emotions and lash out at others being deemed insensitive so they focus on Detachment when really they should be utilizing their magnetism and intuition through human connection as they are the sign with the most power over others emotions.

Ex, Aquarius suns struggle with seeing the use of collaboration with others opinions and applying their innovative thoughts towards real life skills. They can get stuck in a constant pattern of not feeling accepted or heard. But mastering their creative thinking and differences to use positively will give them the most recognition.

Conclusion:

Mutable sun sign = Adapting to your Qualities

Cardinal sun sign = initiating your Qualities.

Fixed sun sign = Mastering your Qualities.

This is also why imo it's the hardest to spot a mutable sun sign as they're usually farther away from Adapting to their sun signs qualities until they've gotten more experience in life. Usually looking at the general themes in their life can help you identify them the easier.

Ex, Gemini suns are focused on developing communication skills and confidence in their socializing capabilities.

Ex, Pisces suns usually deals with people taking their dreams for granted and is most likely influenced by a harsh or strict environment.

In Solar Return Charts the most common house placements tend to be the 1st House, 6th House, 7th House and 10th House. ESPECIALLY 1ST & 6TH HOUSE! This is because most of our years are focused on the tangible and everyday aspects of our lives which is ruled by the 6th house, our public person and career is the 10th House, and focusing on ourselves is our 1st House.

If you're a student I frequently see 3rd, 5th, 6th, 8th & 9th Houses filled in solar return charts. The 3rd/5th/9th Houses are all about acquiring skills, learning from what's in front of you, hobbies and pleasure, and higher knowledge or lessons to be taught that bring about movement in your life. I also included 6th house because that's our daily life + physical health while the 8th house is about our mental health so it makes sense why students often have that house filled...

Wanna find out how to turn your creative thinking into a weapon and utilize it for success? Pallas (2) can show what you're naturally gifted at intellectually.

Pallas is the asteroid representing Athena goddess of war, strategy, knowledge & creative thinking. I've seen this asteroid work wonders tbh. My friend has it in Libra 12th House and she's a visual artist mastermind. She can piece any aesthetic or visual together like a puzzle.

If you want to manifest any desires, look at your 11th house! This house rules our wishes and what is rewarded after we've put hard work into it. Finding direction will be much easier to achieve if you look at your 11th house and what it's telling you to work for. Basically I've seen Pluto in 11th = earning power over people, Saturn in 11th = earning respect and titles, Venus in 11th = earning love or money (wealth indicator), Neptune in 11th = earning a prophecy, deep undivided loyalty & glamour, Mercury in 11th = earning your name to be widespread, knowledge & fast results.

I'd say Mercury in the 11th is a big "viral celebrity" placement as they can easily do something and everyone knows their name overnight. Also good for scholars!

The 12th house is also known as the house of Loss. Your planets, sign & rulership could determine what you end up sacrificing or leaving behind. For example, Cancer in 12th could often leave their homes or roots, they usually experience family loss early too. Scorpio in 12th house loses their fear, finances & secrets easily (beware of who you let talk to you). And Sagittarius in 12th house can lose their freedom, knowledge acquired, and faith in others.

The most copied people tend to be Scorpio risings, Pisces risings, Pluto in 1st house, Neptune in 1st house and 12th House placements. That's because with Scorpio energy in the 1st house their identity is literally exploited and used for power dynamics (legit had my friend catfished a bit ago and she has an 8° sag rising with Pluto in 1st conjunct her ascendant). And Pisces energy around the 1st House because people have no barriers with you and feel entitled to take your identity. It can almost feel like a sacrifice of themselves for Pisces rising or those with Neptune in 1st house (ex, Marilyn Monroe & Kim Kardashian, it's not a mistake they both have Neptune in 1st house).

Differences between the angular houses cuz I know we get these mixed up easily:

Your 1st house = How you identify yourself in the world.

Your 4th House = Your roots and how you grow into the world.

Your 7th House = How others identity you, your close connections.

Your 10th House = What you're known for, your reputation.

The houses of legacys are 4th, 8th & 10th. This is your history and how you make your mark on the world, how you will be remembered, and your title in the word.

8th house placements is what we knowingly gatekeep from the world, and the house rulership tells just as much if it's empty. Rich people usually have Jupiter in the 8th house because they are quite literally gatekeeping their wisdom, knowledge, gifts & MASS amounts of power. They also receive money randomly sometimes and have fabulous luck with stocks or investments.

Usually people with Moon in the 8th House tend to be reserved with their deepest emotions and family life. They can often take the longest to open up or trust others as they're used to being blackmailed or having their emotional security taken away from them.

Countries' rising signs MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. Russia has a Scorpio rising (known for intelligence agencies, spies, and cold environment...also destruction of the USSR), the USA has a Sagittarius rising (known for freedom, boldness & diversity...also aggression lol) & Britain is a Libra rising (country known for its fashion, etiquette and tea, its so libra LMAO)

Sun sextile Mars is the best aspect for a natural leader. You know how to utilize your individuality to stand out during competition and you also naturally bring out shining qualities in the people you lead. You take challenges to your ego with ease and although passionate you still remain assured and unbothered by threats. Also high sex drive is present here

A lot of psychics have Moon sextile Neptune because they access otherworldly feelings subconsciously without blockages. And are both Water and Fire dominant. Water rules unconscious and flowing emotions, while Fire represents intuition and gut feelings hence "follow your heart" being their motto.

In general looking at your Moon placement is THE MOST important when figuring out your intuitive abilities as the Moon is the unconscious mind & your personal feelings and behavior. You could determine what suits you best with this!

Ex, Mercury aspecting Moon does well with Tarot & Oracle or any divination that requires pattern connections and using your hands

Ex, Pluto aspecting Moon might be able to talk to ancestors, spirits, and gain information about dangerous events

Ex, Venus aspecting Moon would be great for Glamour magic, Love spells, WEALTH MANIFESTATIONS, and herbalism!! TEA READINGS LOL

I need to stop with Libra & Tea �� istg Tea is ruled by Libra & Neptune BUT THATS JUST MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS COMING THRU.

I don't necessarily believe in everything I listed or think it's all good practices like Love magic but I wanted to help you develop an idea of how each planet can be connected for practical use.

I feel like Uranus is actually a hard planet to understand and sometimes value in everyday life because it's just so...out there LOL. Like it's described as sudden surprises, rebellion, electricity, revolution & eccentricity. It's just a hard planet to relate to in general because it's the opposite of conformity so applying it in your life is umm confusing to say the least lol.

Basically I look at Uranus as sudden ups & downs, where we grow FAST but where we get knocked down BAD too. I literally think cancel culture would be ruled by Uranus ngl LOL. It's unpredictable and awakens or shakes up whatever it aspects.

So Uranus aspecting Venus would cause a turbulent love life, a somewhat Detached or Hypersexual character, Very wealthy and a visionary in fashion or with money. But alsoooo struggles to maintain relationships or struggles A LOT with self love.

TW but I've often seen those with Uranus in 2nd & 6th House struggle the most with body dysmorphia and weight fluctuation. Your health can always spike up and down too. It's because these houses rule over our self-worth, body and physical health. Therefore, sometimes it can really shake your eating habits up which would obviously cause a struggle in your mental health.

However I've also seen some of the MOST inflated egos come from people with Uranus in 2nd House. Again the unpredictability and sudden Shockwave to your confidence with Uranus can literally make you feel like God or sunken. It's VERY drastic.

Oppositions to the Ascendant, also known as Conjunctions to the Descendant are qualities we possess that others DON'T accept us for and often make us feel insecure. Lilith Opposite Ascendant would probably be heavily shamed for their promiscuity and manipulative behavior. While Uranus opposite ascendant would be ridiculed for their Weirdness or Intelligence. People would label them as crazy lol�� (totally not me).

Also if you have Uranus aspecting the Ascendant or Mars you are VERY clumsy and accident prone LMAO�� your movements literally come off as a shockwave to others and everything around you. It's just one step and all of a sudden a whole clothing rack comes falling down. Uranus does rule Natural Disasters so...are we even surprised?

When looking at your Solar Return Chart it's not just Pluto to be concerned about BUT CHIRON. This asteroid is the wounded healer meaning it will detail the wounds you have to recover from and face that year. Chiron also highlights where we feel or are literally rejected so...check that fr.

The saddest Chiron placement imo is in the 1st & 4th House. Because your identity and self expression is rejected with the 1st house, while in the 4th house you could be outcasted by your own family and feel blocked put from any form of emotional security.

An example of what I think is a good example of significant Chiron energy would be Selena Gomez and her Venus conjunct Chiron at a 1° orb in Leo 1st house. Basically it shows up as her body being rejected, women rejecting her, and her own creative projects or indivuality feeling rejected. She probably is very self-deprecative because of this as she never feels her appearance or identity is good enough.

Chiron in 1st House people also get copied lots...just sayin

Women tend to be VERY jealous of those with Venus or Moon aspecting Chiron because they view that individual as wounding their views of femininity and project their insecurities onto them. The women with Venus/Moon aspecting Chiron placements are seen in general as being too vulnerable or soft which are stereotypical feminine qualities a lot of women can feel resentment towards brought on by the ✨️Patriarchy✨️

Marilyn Monroe also has Venus conjunct Chiron...��

So does Jessica Alba, Olivia Rodrigo and Kurt Cobain.

Their lovesick songs PLZ what's more Venus conjunct Chiron than that�� excluding miss Alba lol.

The same goes for women with Sun & Mars aspecting Chiron. Men are usually jealous of their success and degrade them because they see them as a threat to their masculinity.

Fun fact: The 4th House rules over the Father while the 10th house rules over the Mother in family astrology. Although I generally always saw the Moon sign as the most accurate representation of the maternal figure in your life but I found the above on astrology websites.

I also found some sources saying the 10th house actually rules your dominant parent? It's a whole debate on Google but it did say the 10th house rules the Mother in my astrology books so...idk I see it. Let me know in the comments your thoughts!

And to end this off, let me know your rising sign degree and I will try to guess your favorite colour to wear lol