#working on myself and my mental health has rlly made me feel this

[wagpastie]

sometimes i see peoples posts that make sweeping statements about specific demographics with absolute certainty and its just like. man you truly just not have had many good people in your life huh

[universe-requests]

Got any college tips?

Ps make it lengthy

Yeah! Note that a lot of this will be based on my own experiences as someone w ADHD at a large public university, and may not apply necessarily to you!

Academic Stuff:

even if textbook readings aren't mandatory, if there are associated sections/readings w your classes, you should read the textbook. there is a ton of stuff in there that's not gonna be covered well by your lectures, and you'll benefit from the additional context and examples you get from reading

make calendars and to-do lists weeks in advance. if your classes have syllabi with schedules, put all their deadlines onto your calendar. from the calendar, write down what you want to get done each day. i usually try to do 1-2 assignments every day. i do this usually a few weeks to a month into the future, so that i know what i need to get done each day. if you need to push an assignment, you'll know what you have to do for the coming days and can balance where best to put stuff you couldn't complete.

go to office hours! if you start an assignment and do what you can on it b4 going to office hours, you'll be able to better ask questions on what you're confused abt. for some of my harder classes, i went to office hours sometimes twice a week.

you may need to change your major! that's okay. i changed mine like 2 or 3 years in and had to do an extra year to make up for the change. i was afraid to "give up" on my first major (biomedical engineering), but if i'd switched sooner, i would've avoided needing to take extra time. if you do end up switching a bit later like i did, it's not the end of the world tho! it's more money obv, but this major has been much easier for me n i've made way more friends in informatics than i ever made in engineering

apply for disabilities if you think you'll need accommodations! i originally tried to go without them n realized that i was depriving myself of resources for no reason. having extra time on assignments n exams improved my grades bc i could take the time i needed!

Friendship Stuff:

compliment ppl on things like their fashion, hair, phone cases, pins, or backpacks! this is a great way to start a conversation and get a conversation flowing and i have had multiple friendships start just by giving a compliment and then continuing to chat from there

start/join campus discord servers! it's a great way to meet ppl in your classes or your building. i've made multiple friends thru discord servers for my classes, and you also get to work thru assignments or clarify things together

hang-outs don't have to be big plans. you can just msg ppl if they wanna get food at the dining hall n sometimes that'll evolve into a bigger hang-out if you end up wanting to go do smth after!

Mental Health Stuff:

if you're living in the dorms, you'll probably feel rlly scared/sad on your first night or even first few nights abt being on your own n such. both myself and my therapist sobbed our first nights in the dorms! but it'll get better n you'll feel more confident doing things by yourself/being away from home as you go

the first year can be rlly tough to adjust to. i was so depressed i was sometimes peeing in my trashcan bc i couldn't get myself out of bed. now, i'm doing much much better! as you go, you'll get better at your time management skills and knowing your limits and coping w frustration/anxieties

as much as possible, go to events on campus. go to plays, movie nights, clubs, concerts, craft nights, game nights etc. n don't feel afraid to do it by yourself! it's fun to have things to look forward to and get yourself out of the dorm and making sure that you're eating meals (bc if you're already out, you might as well eat)

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

For a few years i really genuinely believed I was a DID system. I have the trauma, some of the symptoms etc but after a year in college I got diagnosed with DPDR.

I rlly felt like my symptoms were real bit bc of the different diagnosis i tried to forget about system things. I didn't see myself as a faker, I genuinely felt the symptoms, but they all just kind of went away the less i paid attention to it

Now a year later i made a new friend who happened to be a system and now its making my brain feel all weird. Like some of the system feelings come back. I know that isn't how disorders work and its really bothering me how Im so easily influenced by suggestion.

I really dont want to be a system because nobody wants such a heartbreaking disorder, but it feels so weird having the voices and feelings come back again and I wish it would go away

Hi anon,

First of all please know that you're not alone, and it's okay to question whether or not you're a system. Your experiences are valid.

While it's possible that DPDR could be explaining the symptoms you attribute to DID, a DPDR diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean you don't also have DID. Many systems experience dissociation consistent with derealization and depersonalization.

I also just want to say that while being a system can definitely be heartbreaking, there are also moments of laughter, joy, and unity that are unique to being a system. Having DID or OSDD is predicated on trauma, but that doesn't necessarily mean that being a system is a totally horrible experience. Somewhere here on Tumblr I once saw a post saying that if you believe it would be better to be a system, then you likely are a system because singlets would not benefit from it.

I can understand wanting the voices and feelings to go away because experiencing that might make your life feel more overwhelming and disorienting. But it's also important to consider that it may not be healthy to try and suppress these symptoms, whatever they might be a part of. Allowing these voices and feelings to come and go may give you the opportunity to analyze where these voices and feelings are coming from and what they may be communicating.

It's worth considering that being around your friend may potentially serve as an opportunity for your system to feel comfortable expressing themselves, knowing that they don't have to conceal symptoms in the presence of someone who understands.

As a questioning system, I find the OSDD Discord server to be extremely useful in settling questions about what it's like to be a system, and if your experience is consistent with diagnosed systems. It can be a space to get a better understanding of yourself and systems in general so I recommend it if you're interested.

I'm not sure if you're still in college, but if you are, you may want to consider reaching out to their counseling center (if they have one) and consulting a mental health professional about this, as they could best help you in navigating yourself and can recommend diagnoses.

If anyone else has any comments or suggestions, particularly systems, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[starsdailyjournal]

Funfacts!!

I think I am a lot of things, personally (gay (hmu ladies)) and I wanted to boast about what a cool gal I am! And since my account is sort of about mental health I wanted to tell yall about some of the things I've faced as someone who has had a poor one for most of their life because 1 I like to talk about myself and 2 I want more people talking about the less discussed parts of mental health because everyone deserves to tell their story without having to feel like their's is too gross or different.

Lemme start with some red flags

I TWEAK over adopt me like I spend real money and time on that game it's unhealthy

I was gonna start and internet based cult and become a diety so that I could fake my death and ask for offerings before I go (adopt me pets) but I gave up

I have 5 stick and poke tattoos I did with no tutorials (they look super cool (they dont))

One of those tattoos are vampire bite marks (I did yesterday its the best decision I ever made)

I never EVER use tutorials I wing it every time with everything like I cut my own hair with scissors from the kitches without even LOOKING AT A PICTURE I just hope it looks cool and emo and that my bangs will make me partially blind

Whenever I do wing it, it always works out (im a god)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE VAMPIRES hellsing ultimate is my fav anime ever and nothing can top it

I love the winter it's my fav season because it's so gloomy

I dress scene but I use only emo colors and I listen to only gabber and scene (my guilty pleasure is some pop)

I don't even look that scene because I can't go shopping BECAUSE IM BROKE and my mom thinks shes above thrifting (she lives in a one bedroom apartment infested with cockroaches) and my dad is always busy. But I diy all the rips in my clothes and try to do the best I can!!

Honestly my style doesnt need a label because idrc abt those I just wanna do what I wanna do frfr

I don't take my own advice sometimes

I'm a vampire

I'm pan in the worst way (I only care abt looks IDGAF abt gender)

I value looks A LOT

I hope that was red enough but here are my green flags!!!

I'm really smart though I don't look it at all (stereotypes are funny with me because I'm indian and REALLY alternative)

I'm really good at specifically math (because of trauma)

I'm trying to better myself

I LOVE MINECRAFT (and roblox but minecraft a little more)

I love to write

I love philosophy (I also hate it for moral reasons)

I like to draw a tad

I'm not british

I'm wise as hell and people should listen to my advice more frfr

ADHD (its a green flag idc)

I LOVE BFDI AND INANIMATE INSANITY IM AN OG BFDI FAN IVE BEEN WATCHING SINCE FOREVER (2016)

I love to read (but not digitaly it makes it weird)

I love spending time with my family (97% of the time)

I love money (its a GREEN flag to me (your so funny stars! (IkIk no need to aplaud) *applause*)(*blushes cutely*))

I'm so funny

i have 30 dollars saved up (pls dont mug me!!)

Anyway I'll make posts on stuff like mental health, stuff I find funny or interesting or cool etc but I need to change out of this hoodie im getting way too sweaty

Edit: I'm not recoloring this post bc its rlly annyoing to do it and like I can't even seen anything outside of dark red and black on my laptop so like

[againwthevampirebllsht]

january 17th 2024

bruh. classes just started and im already overwhelmed. even tho i think this is gonna be an easier semester than last year i still think a couple classes r gonna give me hell.

my ww1 history class has a fuck ton of reading which is expected cuz like duh its a history class but i also had gotten so lucky with my history classes before being mostly lecture based instead of reading so itll be something to get used to again.

my other 2 history classes havent met yet so idk what to expect from them just yet but hopefully its manageable..

i met with my two studio classes today and im rlly excited for them. i think my painting class is gonna b a lot easier than my drawing class but thats fine. i almost wish it was the other way around because im more into painting but its fine im kinda excited to try new stuff and a class doesnt have to make me want to kill myself in order for me to create good work

but theres also something ab the culture of art school that feels like a competition of who can run themselves into the ground for the sake of their work more. whoever kills their mental health more for the sake of art wins

both of the art classes are more abstract based which will also be new and im both nervous and excited for that cuz thats not really a direction ive gone before. in drawing we did an exercise that was like a game of telephone where we took a drawing of ours we did before and then made a drawing based on that and then one based on that one and so on and so fourth,.. im weirdly happy with the results!

in about a week me n my friends r gonna have a galentines which im rlly hyped for, hopefully all goes to plan even tho with my track record that stuff usually doesnt but one can dream (ill definitely have a breakdown if people start canceling last min)(i already feel like i dont have friends and that will only fuel the fire) and like i obviously do have friends?? just not a friend group??? its only like 5 ppl im close to individually and then a bunch of like we hang out at parties friends so idk im in a weird spot rn...

anyway! i think thats all the life updates for now, ill try to be more frequent with posts cuz future me will thank me

[colorfulbibliostack]

bullet journal and productivity info (with personal stuff added, srry)

sooo... i started a bullet journal! (@a-social-asshole because i *think* i remember talking to you about bujos? if so it was rlly long ago lol)

Actually this is the second time I attempted it, the first time i made a few tiktok videos of fixing & decorating the notebook cover but only ended up using it for like... a day. the book i used was too bulky and kinda falling apart, and the lines were too uniform. (pro tip--make sure you use a journal you *like*)

now i have a dotted journal! it's decently slim and has a sophisticated cover (white marble with an inspirational quote in gold) and it isnt like my usual style but it works and its nice enough that i dont feel the intense need to cover it in duct tape.

so far i have an index, a goal collection for the school year, a habit tracker, and my first daily log. i'm not doing monthly or weekly spreads because i have a more standard linear planner for the scheduling part. (I figured premade stuff would be easier for me personally in that department.)

i'm using my bujo almost exclusively at school with the exception of the habit tracker, which is daily. it's to help me keep track of assignments, my general pain level (in case i need to provide evidence of my chronic pain when i eventually see a doctor) study tarot by pulling a card each day, be more grateful, and remember tasks (so far, reminders to discuss certain things with instructors).

if you want to start bullet journaling but you find the idea daunting--all the stuff you see on Pinterest that looks amazing and time consuming can scare people off--it's important to remember that bullet journals are supposed to be highly customizable. you can do as little or as much as you want. start small! my journal is super minimalistic, very few symbols, simple borders, literally just the date at the start of my daily logs and my messy handwriting below. also, you dont need a lot of supplies. I just have a journal, some highlighters from the dollar store, papermate marker pens, more papermate pens from walmart, and washi tape. you dont even need the washi tape, i've only used it once so far and i prefer making my own borders (by literally just putting lines between the dots.)

i really hope the journal and my planner help me stay on top of things this year, because to be honest i've never been the best student, and i want to improve myself in any way i can.

i have a lot of mental health issues, so it might sometimes be ambitious for me. i've heard that the key to improving is almost always a positive mindset. but you can't fall victim to toxic positivity in that--you have to know that you can have bad days, you can have days where you just can't bring yourself to study after classes, but you also need to be able to bounce back from those days.

(this is also why i'm deliberately putting self-reflection, self-care and time to just watch videos to my schedule.)

anyway, i hope if anybody read this they find it at least a little helpful! i wrote this out because i had to watch like 8 seperate videos to gather this info.

(if you are very interested in seeing if i crash and burn or succeed in organization, follow @system-maintainance, my blog that's basically how-to's and to-do's for myself. i might occasionally post my findings about self-care and conquering mental stuff <3 {itll prolly be reblogged here too, so dw if you dont wanna see my other stuff there!})

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi! I saw you rb'd the post about autism and I rlly wanted to talk abt it! I don't live in the US, and therapists where i live are almost the same as you described. Idk if i have ADHD or Autism or something else entirely, but I do know there's something different from me than other people. I've known ever since I was little. I know my brain works differently, I see things differently, and I feel left out because of it. I relate to almost every obscure ADHD symptom (like i relate to the "i got distracted" but also the very specific "not everyone goes through that" ones).

I don't want to self diagnose because I'm nowhere near being an expert on neurodivergency, but I also know I'm different. Idk what to do because I talked to a therapist once about it (we didnt discuss it, i just mentioned it) and she said that if I've gotten this far (i'm 17) without a diagnosis and I've done fine, a diagnosis won't change that. I think that a diagnosis would 100% help because i would at least know for sure because rn i feel like i'm going crazy. Maybe everything I've been experiencing has just been the product of undealt with trauma, idk, but i rlly wish i knew for sure.

I imposter syndrome myself into thinking i'm actually just as normal as everyone else and am just thinking this becusde i want to think i'm "special". Which isn't true i'm 99% sure-

Sorry for the rant. I just dont know what to do :(

Hello, Nonsie! No need to apologize for the rant, I'm sorry you're in this situation. It absolutely sucks when therapists and other mental health professionals are like that. Sometimes it feels like they've made a decision about you already and are just tolerating you the rest of the time and dismissing everything else.

I've also been through the exact same thing with the "I know there's something different about me." I always chalked it up to me being "the gifted kid," but then I was different from all the other gifted kids as well. I didn't know what it was, so I instead turned to fiction and to stories. Especially those with magic and inhuman creatures, because I knew that whatever it was that made someone human, I didn't have it. So I saw myself instead in fairies and fae and as I got older, in monsters (I mean this in a good way). My point is that I think I understand the knowing you're different but not being able to put a finger on it experience. I often describe it as living in a bubble where I can see everyone else and they can see me, but I'm not with them. I'm separate even amongst everyone.

I will just say that if you don't think you're qualified to self-diagnose, I'd suggest looking into it more! Self-diagnoses are incredibly valid and are fairly accepted from what I've seen. Most people are very understanding about the process and about reasons why you might not be able to/not want to get an official diagnosis. I think almost all people who have diagnosed have also had the "I don't know enough to make this call" experience and then go on to look into it before doing so. They're generally not made lightly, instead made with the insight and reflection of weeks, months, years worth of work and research.

Also, I don't know how the rules work wherever you live, but it's possible that you'd be able to look into evaluations outside of your therapist if she is adamant about you not needing one. I know where I live I could find an evaluation location and submit the paperwork independently--though I think as a minor I'd need to include parent contact information, but then again maybe not. And that's also just where I am

You could also approach her or another therapist about it again and say that it's an avenue you'd like to explore even if it won't change much. Therapy is about you, so if you want something you're allowed to express that. One note I'd like to add is that I'd advise against relying on outside sources entirely for confirmation that your experiences aren't you "going crazy." That's not to say that an official diagnosis wouldn't be a relief or a breath of fresh air and a "finally! it was real!" That's an entirely understandable reason to want an evaluation or diagnosis, it's just that things don't always work perfectly and people can be wrong. So if you're basing your understanding entirely on someone else's assessment and they miss something, it can feel like a huge disappointment. And it's more likely when the system isn't friendly towards you.

I can tell you that you aren't making it up and that whatever you've experienced and been through, it is real and valid and you deserve answers about it. Whether those answers come from yourself or through treatment, I hope you find what you're looking for. I actually think a very common and relatable finding out you might be autistic/adhd/something else is obsessing over it and then convincing yourself you're making everything up and are actually normal and just suck at being a person.

I don't know if you want advice, but I think if I were in your situation (based on the knowledge I have) I'd look into it more. There are plenty of YouTube videos and online resources you can use to help figure things out, and if it's something you want then research what options are available in your area and what the requirements are (e.g. age/information/if you can do it alone or not). When I was first exploring all these possibilities, I started a thing in my notes app to keep track of different experiences that could potentially indicate or relate to something so I could look into it later, so maybe that could help!

I'm wishing you the best of luck in whatever comes next for you in this experience <33

[pureprincessa]

the massive influx of pro ed "spo" in the community rlly has me thinking abt all the longterm damage I've done to myself bc of disordered eating, like there was so much stuff I wish I knew b4 I started. like not to be graphic but now if I go too long without eating im in horrible horrible pain and feel like vomiting for multiple hours. Not only that but that same toxic mentality of never being good enough or only being good enough till xyz leaked into every aspect of my life, my body wasn't just a "problem" now but soon everything about me was, my job, my personality etc. it affected my confidence (duh!), made me fuckin depressed and even hurt my relationships.

previously I had done years of work to get to a better place within myself and my mental health and am currently trying to undo all this habitual toxic thinking so I can actually be happy day to day again. My body never made a difference in how I felt, I've always had a very socially praised and "trendy" body type and I was still totally and completely miserable when i was starving myself. my body warped in front of my eyes even though it literally never changed, because the body is never the problem no matter what you look like or what you weigh or what pant size u are. or wether or not that changes I promise you the only thing that's actually wrong is the negative way in which you view yourself, NOT your body. THIS IS NOT WORTH IT. please do not listen to the parts of yourself that tell you you're not good enough because you're "not thin enough" or fat or curvy or anything bc it's literally not true. please do not listen to the people who say you cannot be happy or beautiful at your size bc it is pure projection of their own insecurities, Fat is cute, elegant and beautiful and has a place in every single aesthetic. its just not worth throwing your life, and health away when you're already fuckin perfect. If you're seeing all of this is uhmm I guess the best word I have is body negativity in the community and it's making you second guess yourself or consider going down this path m here to be your voice of reason n say that it will never be worth it, even with all of the damage I've done to myself I'm so much happier on the other end of this and I can pretty much guarantee you will be 2 <3

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

anon ask about feeling insecure due to body type and gained weight

so ive been scrolling down ur blog and reading other asks that you've been sent and thought i'd send my own about my own mountain pile of insecurities. i wont get into them too deep, but id like to let out at least a little bit because even just reading your replies to other people made me feel slightly better <3

i find my body type to be so disgusting and i know thats rude as hell to myself but i cant get out of that mindset. i feel like ive lost the genetic lottery in so many ways and its kind of consumed my mind. my boobs (and areolas) r massive but saggy, my butt is pretty flat and my love handles are a close competitor to them in their levels of juiciness, i hav lots of body hair in many unfortunate places, and to top it all of ive gained lots of weight. the list could go on!!

im 22 and ive never had a serious relationship involving sex, and im worried ill like freak out and cry the first time anyone sees me fully naked, which i rlly dont want to do. i want to feel pretty and sexy but i feel like my body makes that impossible ://

tldr: im super insecure

I'm glad my replies can help you in some small way. :) I still can't believe people respect my opinion enough to want to know what I'm thinking... oㅅo

To feel pretty / sexy is not about how you actually look and you know that, but I feel that you don't believe it. You know you're being unfair and unnecessarily mean. It's become a habit to take it out on your body because it's an easy target. It will take time to break out of this thought process but it can be done. Your body is not meant to be ogled at and turned into a circus animal. It is meant to help you; you take care of it and it takes care of you. How it looks is secondary to your health.

There's no such thing as "losing the generic lottery". It may feel that way because society constantly pushes this idea of an "ideal body type" or "conventional beauty standard" and this is for monetary gain, designed to make you feel uncomfortable or unsatisfied with yourself so you buy product and drive the economy with your purchases. Before this, beauty standards were developed by the rich to exercise their power over the lower classes. Being light-skinned was desirable because it meant you didn't work in the fields and get tanned. Having extra weight was desirable because it meant you were never hungry and could afford to eat in excess. But, as you can probably guess, what is considered beautiful or attractive changes over time. Tanning products are readily available and there's no end to the number of products that boast "lose weight fast".

Attractiveness is an opinion, not a fact.

The porn industry is like that too. Porn stars get waxed, lasered, nipped, tucked, put under the knife to achieve the "sexy body". In this day and age, anything can be done with minimal to no scarring. Beauty standards are pushed onto us through advertising and media, making you think this is the "common" or "typical" body type, "the one everyone likes", but that's not how human bodies work. There's a vast amount of variation from person to person, country to country, continent to continent. Outward appearance has nothing to do with what is in the inside, mentally and physically.

Even for men, there's a difference between bodybuilders who do it for looks and real strength. Competitions for the world's strongest are made of men with thick waists for core strength. They have fat to help cushion their joints so they don't injure themselves. When you see someone who looks "cut" and has very visible muscles and prominent veins, it is because they have dehydrated and starved themselves to look that way for that particular event. They don't look like that normally.

All this to say, you don't have to look a certain way for society to accept you; society is the one that is broken and shallow. Not you.

Your body is your body. Of course, if you want to and you can afford it, you can change it. But it's not necessary unless it involves serious health concerns. Big boobs have weight and gravity wants them too (lol). When you wear a skirt, you never have to stand there and realize your butt is hiking up the back and exposing you (or you have a weird low-high effect going on where the front is lower than the back...). You don't have to jam your ass in in jeans only to find the waist doesn't fit... then have to try and de-suction cup your butt without losing your panties as you panic in the dressing room. Ah, the fashion industry, sigh. Body hair can be shaved, waxed or left there; that is your own personal preference and you are free to change your mind whenever.

Weight gain is something many people go through. There are many factors involved and if you are interested in losing weight, it is more about the gradual change of habits you formed while gaining weight, such as using food for comfort, the way you view portion sizes, snacking because you're bored, etc. Gaining or losing weight often has to do with stress too. Physical and mental health are intertwined with each other. Don't think too much about the weight itself, but focus on forming healthy habits.

When you're ready to have sex, the person is not there because of your body. The person is there for you. The whole package, all of it. They already find you pretty and sexy. That's why they wanna see you naked! XD

Everyone has a different idea of "sexy" or "pretty". You won't fit everyone's ideal and neither do I, and that's okay. Desire is subjective. Someone might find you hot as hell for parts of your body you didn't even think about. And, hey, it's okay to keep some clothes on if you're uncomfortable. Only show what you want to and are comfortable showing. They will understand.

Everyone has insecurities and things they don't like about themselves. Loving yourself is hard. It's a constant journey and a lot of it is taking a pause to think about why you think the way you think. Is it real or is it an unconscious tactic to punish yourself unfairly? The harshiest critic is usually you.

Don't be so mean. :<

[dogin8]

I told myself If they did a c!dream redemption arc I would leave the fandom for my mental health and was wondering whether I should dip already at this point- /hj but like seriously do you think they are going to do a dream redemption arc or not? (don’t have to answer because I know it’s a draining subject, was just interested in your take)

AYO!!!

So to answer the question simply: No

i personally don't think a c!Dream redemption arc will happen, I'm not going to say that I confidently believe it won't, just that I don't think it will.

And I might just be saying this because I don't want it to happen for a variety of reasons,

And I've seen a lot of arguments saying how "it wouldn't be satisfying at all to just kill off c!Dream after depicting all this torture/after showing him in such a weak broken state" and... to be honest, while I kind of agree with that sentiment, I'm really not sure how I feel about that, like... I get that it would be bad BUT I... I think the problem is that c!Dream was presented that way in the first place, like c!Dream wouldn't need to have some "breaking free of the torture and healing" thing if they didn't portray him as sympathetic in the first place, it's just ended up making me confused as to how the story wants me to feel about this character.

^ Okay I wrote all that a little while ago and it's a total mess so sorry if it's repetitive or confusing to understand at all,

i just want to say, I don't want to feel sympathy for c!Dream but it feels like the narrative wants me to, and with how he has been presented recently, saying "a continuing downward spiral or death would be unsatisfying for this character" is frustratingly a valid argument even if I wish it wasnt, BUT Im gonna go out on a limb and put my trust in the writers here, I think that they will find a way to work around whatever is going on with c!Dream currently in a way that's not a redemption arc but also not horrifically bleak (and if it is just death, look, I'm not going to complain, I will understand if somebody else complains but I personally couldn't give less of a fuck about him, just because the narrative wants me to have sympathy doesn't mean i will /hj)

But yeah in summary:

I don't think we will have a c!Dream redemption arc,

I hope we don't,

I'm not entirely happy with how c!Dream has been made sympathetic and I feel like that's a hole that the writers dug themselves into

But i trust that whatever happens will be fine and enjoyable to watch

Also fuck c!Dream all my homies hate c!Dream

(I appreciate the out btw and ur right, it is kind of a draining topic but for me at least, posting stuff and being able to physically lay out the thoughts i already have rlly helps with making me relax about it, always happy to answer almost anything)

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN

[wiillatree]

im afraid to read the new kingdom keepers books

let me first say this: the kingdom keepers series has changed my life. literally. i first read them in about 6th grade and then kind of forgot about them. i spent basically all of my preteen and teen years gobbling up ya literature, hoping and praying i could find a character like me. it felt like i never fit the mold. i was tall, pale, extremely skinny, and had this crazy frizzy/curly short brown hair that i had never seen another person possess in my life. not only that, but i had weird hobbies and was always super shy and quiet. i was thirsting for a character i could project myself onto and find myself in. i decided to re-read the kingdom keepers series near the end of 9th grade. i had just gone thru a really rough year of self-hatred and bad mental health. after i came out of this period, i didnt really know who i was. i didnt even really have anything to go off of. after this huge mental breakdown, i felt like there was nothing left of me. i had fallen apart and all of the pieces had fallen under cabinets and tables i couldnt reach under. but when i read the books again, something clicked. i could recognize myself in one character: willa. you see, ya novel characters are built to be brave and to possess many talents, because they all basically go through hell for our own entertainment. the beauty of the kingdom keepers characters is that they work as a team, which means they all have different strengths and weaknesses. not every single one of them is fit, or smart, or brave. they all play a different part. willa was the brains, the one that solved puzzles, the one that came up with a solution. i had never really experienced a character with that talent that wasnt also really athletic or brave. she was just a kid who liked to learn, like me. nothing more, nothing less. not only that, but our personalities matched too. our general demeanors and opinions were the same, even how we discovered and became interested in imagineering. this may sound weird, but sometimes when i read along with books, i answer characters questions or reply to comments in my head as if im involved in the conversation just for fun, and often me and willa would end up saying the same things. and then there was the appearance. note: yes, i am white. i am in no way saying me and willa look exactly the same, as she is suggested to be a poc, and im paler than the bottom half of a cow. going off the very brief book description, we both have dark brown hair and hooded eyes (hi i hate eyeliner sm thanx). when i go through fanart, i feel like im looking at myself a lot. even our haircut is the same! i just want to clarify real quick that i am in no way saying i am willa angelo incarnate or something. NO WAY. im just trying to emphasize that willa angelo gave me a home. not just her, but all of the character, and the whole book series itself. i had spent so much of my life feeling like i had no personality. it was a jumbled mess of earbuds i could not untangle for the life of me. but for the first time in my life. i felt secure. with willa, i felt like i finally knew who i was. i could answer personality tests and know for sure what the answers were. i could tell people if i was the mom friend or the cool friend or the funny friend. its not that i adopted her personality, its that by recognizing myself in her i finally saw who i was. willa angelo was a mirror. as i looked into a flipped version of myself that wasnt quite me, i was able to finally make out my features. so why am i scared to read the new series? well, as ive stated, this series means a LOT to me. im scared that if i read a slightly-different version, things i have already established in my head will change and everything will feel wrong. im also scared to enter the fandom. in my mind, the kingdom keepers series is set up a certain way. im scared that if others come in and share their headcanons and opinions everything in my head will start to crumble. and finally, im scared to let a younger audience into the fandom. yes, this is VERY selfish of me, and i am ashamed. i dont even know how to justify it. but im not ready to let this series go okay. rant over. i feel weird posting this. thats what i made this blog for tho. im sorry if u read this whole thing thru. i dont really intend for anyone to read this, i just finally wanted to get it out of my head. im sorry if i sound weird or deluded and now you have a bad impression of me. i swear im pretty normal haha. ps: willa isnt my real name, if u havent guessed yet. i go by it online because i feel comfortable when ppl call me it and i dont rlly want to spread my real name online

[zephyr-94]

barista!jaemin

inspired by the one and only, puff live!

a/n: this is my first ever fic omg pls spare me with my low writing skills cause ive literally never done this fjskdjdhjdks okay i just love na jaemin periodt. (after writing: ITS VERY JUMPY AND LENGTHY I DIDNT PLAN TO MAKE IT LIKE THIS DJSKJSJSS)

so like your aunt owns a cafe which is in the middle of the city

and you live a lil outside just cause you know, school n shit

you visit her so often cause its a small cafe and it calms you down whenyou need a short break from everything

its weird thats its in the middle of the city but its still calming right?

well okay so like you know those small streets down the neighbourhoods?

the ones you dont really go unless you are rlly feeling adventurous n shit, your aunt’s cafe is in one of those streets

okay longass context down

and at school, you are in a photography club,,, or technically you just learn photography from your teacher after school but its not a whole club extravaganza

just cause your school kinda demands an extra curricular after the first year

but it feels really suffocating to be forced to do smth as a group/with people you arent as familiar with,,,,

so you “signed up” for the smallest club: [photography theory]

it was about time you start doing your hobby-ish thing at school and the tutor was cool with you being practically the only student in the club lmao so everything was going well but

youve never rlly done anything big yourself and your school friends havent pushed you to do smth either

so you were kind of looking to at least take part in one out-of-class project initiated by students maybe

and theres this big school newspaper club/writers’ club,,,, and you find out that they are like !! photographers & stories wanted !!

and you ?? at first but apparently its a project where like students get to submit their fav pic & write a mini article about “your place of comfort”

cause the topic of the month is mental health/dealing with stress and the newspaper club wants a students’ view on it, instead of just “meditation” as a topic

then you just have that cafe in your mind like,,, how you would love to shoot the street light shining into the cafe from afar and how calm that place makes you feel,,,

basically you just love your auntie’s cafe lmao

so then you go on about maybe joining it,,, but then you be indecisive cause youve never actually taken a photo professionally you just have a prolonging passion for it,,,

and your teacher is like “y/n idk why you are contemplating no ones gonna judge you just try smth new, go take the chance if you are feeling like it”

we love a supportive johnny, oh yes your english teacher is your photography “club” tutor,,, self proclaimed club

actually there have been many opportunities in the past with taking photos for projects like this one but you just stayed away cause it didnt “motivate” you to take photos for it

so johnny’s words kinda pushed your back n you felt like this was the right thing :))

so then you visit your auntie on the weekends asking maybe if you can take pics & ask her a couple questions about this place

and shes like ofc!! wanna see how you capture this place :))

so then you do this whole process and you submit the article & photos,,,,,

which ends up getting a whole page???

and you are like wh a t

newspaper club: oh you submitted many such pretty pictures & your comment felt very genuine

and you :)) but damn a whole page,,,, you is a lil anxious djskdjdh now the entire schools now going to know you

johnny the hype man teacher: see i told you it was going to turn out nice

and then kaboom, your article lowkey blows up lmao

your auntie is calling you up like “y/n!! so many customers came today!! and a lot of them are wearing the same uniform as you, they must be the students from your school!!”

and shes so happy so you are happy af

but then you remember like,,,, shes never had a part timer,,,,,

and she continues to manage the place by herself after it gets popular among the students,,,,

?? auntie,,, you never take a break ??

shes like maybe ill think about hiring someone?? and you are like, that would be good for you :)) i will be less worried about your health!!

whoop guess who got hired

and after youve had that^ conv, you had constant classes n group projects n shit so you literally had no time,,,

two weeks later, kinda highkey stressed

you decide to go make a quick visit to auntie before going to the library to study

and you peek,,, to see not your auntie,,,,

but a boy?? 

just standing behind the counter,,, no auntie to be seen but a beautiful boy???

before the opening hours,,,, he?? must be the part timer,,,

and once he notices you by the door,

he just smiles at you,,, so brightly,,,,

wow youve never seen such a pretty face,,,

you actually like forget to open the door you are just staring from outside the cafe,,,,

and he just waves,,, and you snap back to reality like oh shit did i just stare at someone for a solid minute

welp that was embarrassing djkdjdfj

he opens the door for you and goes “hey you must be y/n :))”

“the only person who comes before 9am, thats you isnt it?”

and you just ?¿ confusion??¿

“auntie told me about it :)) hi, nice to meet you, im jaemin!!”

you are still confused but you just shake hands next to the counter,,,

and as you take a seat

jaemin just makes a smol run to the other side and hes like

“you came just in time, i want you to try my latte!!”

jaemin serves a cup of latte with a leaf art

this boy just served a latte first thing after shaking hands i-

you take a sip from the cup

and you are like,,, so auntie hired an experienced boy,,,,

“its really good,,,” it has the same comforting taste you always love

and jaemin just has the biggest smile :)))) you know his smile where the ends just curl in, yes that one

him beaming like that just makes you giggly inside,,,,

you ask him “so uh um im guessing you are the part timer??”

“yes!! i didnt introduce myself properly did i! i started working here two weeks ago :))

ive been coming here for quite a while now so im happy i got the chance!!”

and you ?¿ “ive never seen you here??” you are the most frequent customer youve gotta have seen him before fjsksj

hes like “oh um i always came at 9pm on a friday, after everyone leaves and the whole neighbourhood gets quiet”

you just :o

and come to think of it, you’ve never visited here on a friday night,, cause you know, friday evening is your im not doing anything tonight kinda me time lmao

inside you are kinda happy that someone who knows this place got hired like its a special place to you so

tbh you were kinda anxious even though you trust your aunt,,,,,

and jaemin hurriedly goes “oh and also auntie is taking a break today, shes out to the market so im gonna take over until she returns in the afternoon”

djskdj auntie why didnt she tell you lmao

“im sorry if you needed anything specific from her,,, you should stay for a while until she comes back maybe?”

and you are like,,, “oh that would be great,,, but unfortunately i have to go to the library,,,,”

jaemin: ): he pout

“im so glad you came today tho!! i wanted to see you :) auntie has told so many thing about you”

“wait,, what has she told you,, omg”

apparently shes told jaemin

a) reason why this cafe recently became a popular hideout cafe for students because you wrote a school article bout it

b) that you do photography

c) and that this cafe is your break time so you never study here and auntie loves listening to you talk about school n what not

and then you are like !!

“wait so then you dont go to our school ,,,um are you also a student?”

and you panic a little cause i mean you just met him but you literally know nothing and you mightve assumed things fjsksj

and jaemin tells you “ah yes i go to a hospitality school downtown” “ohh”

and from there he just starts talking about his school and what he studies

he asks you about school but jaemin is extra excited about his hospitality course hes all !! :))!!

and you are so hooked on jaemin talking about his school you forget an hour passes by,,,,

[time to open the cafe]

then the customers start coming in

and you are like “oh sorry ive just bothered you during the preparation time,,,,, it was nice meeting you!! gotta go now :))”

and you rush out cause all you planned to do was give your auntie a little visit

also you dont want to bother jaemin cause its hes gonna handle the place alone for a couple hours

you wave a smol see you soon and

jaemin just does a little chuckle,, and hes like waving so widely fjsksj does he know other people can see him

and thats how your first day with jaemin went

later that day you return home thinking like,,, did you just get so excited to converse with someone who you juSt met,,,

na jaemin’s power

and jaemin on the other hand, is thinking about how beautiful you looked today

just that short while but it made him so happy

hes thinking about you all week uwu

so next week you visit again, expecting to see your auntie

and maybe also that gleaming boy

peeking through before the opening hours

the moment jaemin realises you hes like “y/n!!” what a shining boy

and aunties like “oh y/n right you met him last week when i was out right”

that morning you just talk to auntie about what shes been missing on after you went on a busy week

mind that jaemin is literally just listening to you & auntie talk

and he enjoys it cause you talk so comfortably in front of her :))

you decide to stay the whole day to give yourself a break

which meant you moved to your usual spot by the window

and auntie serving you (free) vanilla latte

you take out your camera and just start adjusting the lenses, trying to find the right frame

customers come and go so you dont get to talk to jaemin a lot that day

but its not like you came here for him,,,, right?¿??¿??

while you were thinking all that

jaemin was asking about you all day like

“so y/n’s favourite is vanilla?”

“does y/n prefer a latte over cappuccino?”

“i want to serve y/n something,,,, what would be the best??”

auntie: how many times did he mention y/n today omg

and as auntie answers

jaemin is thinking like

i wanna see y/n smile

and the entire day your auntie is like !!he :)))))

lmao same auntie same

so when the peak hours finish she goes

“i can take care of everything now, go talk to y/n”

and jaemin just smiles brighter than ever

so when he comes around, you startle

but it puts a smile on your face

because hes brought your favourite cake and just a smiling jaemin in front of you uwu

you both get to know more about each other like

how theres this two boys named chenle & jisung in the preparatory course whom he adores to death

or like

theres this jeno boy whose jokes suck jeno i love you

with a bonus of

you talking about how johnny’s english class is nothing but a comedian’s lesson

so that day went great

and now that you are comfortable

you visit the cafe to talk with jaemin more

even when you have a chill no stress week

it just makes you feel lighter by coming to the cafe now

and your auntie is hella happy that you two are getting along so well

it continues for weeks

just you and jaemin talking from time to time when the peak hours are over or before the cafe opens

you became best pals basically

he encouraged you to join more school projects cause hes sure your photography is worth the chance

you giving him daily support when he feels like he isnt doing the best for his course

sometimes when your aunt had to leave for a couple hours near closing time

you two just stayed there talking for a couple hours giving comfort to each other

late night lattes and cakes

also one time you got so excited from the bestest grades you got you might have hugged him without thinking oops

and one day, jaemin’s friend renjun is there when you come after school

and hes like “hi uh dont mind me im just here a bit because jaemin has to go somewhere after this and i dont want him to be late”

so you just,,, chill as jaemin kinda rushes

and when he goes to the storage room, you just see renjun getting along with the auntie lmao

auntie: “so i got offered this contract with the new type of beans? and idk if i should take it because that would mean i have to go out of the city,,,,”

renjun: “for how long?”

auntie: “two weeks maybe”

renjun: “oh thats fine, dont worry about it. jaemin can take over that. next two weeks right? his mandatory work experience ends this week”

so thats how renjun signed jaemin up to work alone for auntie without his consent

and aunties like “y/n!! it would be so much for just jaemin, you should help him :) your break starts next week right?”

so you also got signed up to this thing

fast forward to first day of break

aka the first time you “work” there

you are nervous and jaemin can feel it

“dont worry y/n, ill do all the talking and coffee, you just have to serve & clean!!”

so you try to calm down a bit

not to mention that you are also nervous cause its only jaemin and you in the room

but then he sees you fumbling with tying the apron and

jaemin says “here, give it, ill do it for you” while smiling a little

and from the back he wraps the apron around your waist,,,

and hes so close to you,,, your heart is fluttering

okay heart stop beating so fast pls thank you

and little do you know,,, jaemin is flushing a bit behind your back,,,

you are both the cutest mess

and you break the silence with a smol

“thanks :))”

trying to contain yourself from screaming

adapting to the serving side & keeping youself busy

you dont realise jaemin is literally admiring you the entire time as you get used to the job,,,,

here and then you forget how close you might be standing next to jaemin,,,

you kinda also realise how rEALLY attractive he looks serving everyone with a huge smile 24/7

and the way some customers are obviously attracted to him,,,,

but what you dont know is he is literally taking this chance to highkey flirt with you lmao

waves (sometimes winks) across the room

causally hovers over you when you cant find/reach smth

beaming the biggest smile every minute he gets to himself

and at first you panicked like ?!????

cause was this jaemin boy holding back for a whole month

is this his nature yes

but it makes you so happy to see him smiling all the time beside you

so jaemin yes its working

you gotta admit tho his flirty-ish behaviour grew on you this entire week djskjssj

a week of giggly smiles uwu

but the week after was unexpectedly the busiest of the busiest

you two forgot national holidays collided with the weekends and for some, it was a week off,,,,,,

so the week rushes by so quickly compared to the last one

it kind saved you tho cause your heart cant take more of that flirty behaviour

and finally,

the peak days are over,,,

and you realise its been a while since the cafe was just you,,,, and well jaemin but just no customers

the silence with faint sounds of cups cluttering,,,, you missed it

so then you go sit on the high chair

just admiring jaemin organise the shelves

he starts to prepare a new cup of coffee then realises you smiling at him “were you in awe at how effortless i look right now??”

you chuckle at his remark,,,

(needless to say that your are chuckling to hide how your heart is melting at his smirky smile)

so you twirl a bit shyly,, and avert the gaze to the familiar wood of the counter

asking him “do you remember the day we first saw each other, me sitting here and you serving the latte?”

“ofc, its the day i met an angel”

oh so confidently na jaemin really just said that

you quickly look up at him like !!!?!???!

and thats how he earned a first kiss (or rather a peck) from you

leaning over the counter and pecking you, a whole blushy mess

then comes a clink by the door

you juMp,,,,,,,

oof the customer may or may not have seen you two

you both rush around flushed like a tomato lmao

spending the rest of the day like nothing happened oops

and after the day ends, you two close the cafe

as you starting walking you are caught off guard when

jaemin just takes your hand,,,

“look y/n!! the stars are so pretty!!”

and starts swinging your arm like a tall child,,,

your heart is skippingnsjsjsjs

then at the corner, jaemin turns around and goes

“this is actually the place i first saw you”

and you ??¿?¿¿

“i saw you taking the photo of this night light shining into the cafe”

still hand in hand, jaemin steps a little closer

and takes his free hand to cup your face, kissing you,,,,

you smile into him as he kisses so softly, thinking

maybe the day i took that photo was a friday night

and melting into the kiss, you really think you are dreaming,,,,,

under the lights you once wished capturing a sparkling moment with the cafe in the back

its now you and jaemin in the frame,,,,

the boy who had you forgetting to breathe a month ago

whos now serving your favourite latte with a bonus of pecks on the cheek,,,,, (maybe on the lips if theres no one watching)

anyways

jaemin brings light to your life and you have never been this happy until you met him uwu

and it goes both ways, jaemin cant live without you now,,,, you are the best thing thats ever happened to him

(thank the heavens & your auntie)

oh and also johnny for pushing you to submit that article lmao plus huang renjun for that involuntary sign up

[theincompetentgenius]

Matchup

hiyaaa!! could i pls get a written matchup for ikesen, ikerev, & mlqc? 💞 bi but i prefer guys! i have an older twin sis~ 5'4 young girl~ medium-length straight-ish black hair & dark brown eyes. ambiverted INTP! hufflepuff/ravenclaw. fun-loving & friendly scorpio. if not given attention, i feel unwanted/sad. quiet w/ people im not close w/. easily annoyed but guilty after 'cause im soft-hearted. playful/serious, childish/mature, competative/laidback, funny/shy, talkative/good listener, loud/soft, kind/quiet, emotional/solemn, sweet/smart, bright/deep, poetic/intellectual, daydreamer/studious, annoying/lovable. hopeless romantic! sorta socially anxious, i have a fear of judgement. my personality is like half fun/happy and half deep/quiet- very awkward. i want to be the best! im not innocent but ppl think i am at first. its easy to make me smile & laugh but i also get jealous often. i have trouble asking for help even if i help others a lot! im the type to do fun stuff and loosen up, but im also the type to just cuddle and have long conversations about life and the world. emotionally mature but a bit emotionally unstable (mental health problems-) i look fine on the outside but on the inside its a MESS. im actually a complex person, and i rlly think a lot to myself. i feel rlly scared tho if im not completely sure if im correct abt smth, n i get rlly anxious when ppl r looking at me blankly w/ smiling- likes: diff kinds of jokes, testing myself, affection, animals, doing exhilirating things, music, movies, books, games, family, friends, astrology, astronomy, learning new things, & mythology. dislikes: too much heat, school presentations, creepy dolls, being under pressure, dirty things. i love weapons (esp swords n guns, i like magic too tho)!! i think they're super cool- omg im super srry cause i think this is too much- tysm anyway!! feel free to take your time (health comes first!) n have a great year! 💞

Aww, thank u so much! This was submitted to me quite a while back and I’m really sorry for the major delay. However, I’ve finally gotten to this. Hope you still enjoy it :)

Ikemen Sengoku

I’d pair you with.................. Hideyoshi Toyotomi!

Honestly, I was having difficult picking just one person since you have such a complex personality (don’t worry, this is a good thing). For a while, I was leaning towards Mitsuhide at first because your personality would’ve made the perfect MC for his route. You’re sweet enough to get him to open up, but not a complete ditz. He’d love to learn all the different sides of your personality, falling for every single piece. After all, there’s no puzzle that he can’t solve.

However, I’m gonna go with Hideyoshi on this one. His simple attitude would best compliment all your different traits, creating the perfect balance. Whenever he’s being hard-headed, your multi-dimensional personality will provide him with another side that he hadn’t considered.

Don’t want to ask for help? Not a problem because Hideyoshi is going to help you anyways (whether you want or not). He’ll be at your side all day, making sure that even the smallest of tasks have dealt with. Once your work is done, he’ll linger around for a little bit, waiting for that last good-bye kiss. 

You manage to pull him out of his comfort zone, going on small adventures together! He’s not the biggest fan of them, but he always tags along to make sure you’re alright. His favorite adventures are when you two go into the forests, observing all the different animals. There’s nothing like seeing the sweet smile on your face to brighten up his day.

The day always ends with the two of you heading back to his room, laying on his bed, and looking at all the cool stuff that you found. He’ll have his arms wrapped around your waist, resting his chin on top of your head, listening to you rave about the adventure. But when you remind him that there’s no place that you’d rather be than in his arms, Hideyoshi can’t help but turn into a puddle. It’s just a night of cuddles and endless affection.

Hideyoshi is also the best person to go to when you’re feeling like a complete mess. Even if he’s busy, he’ll always put time aside to comfort you. If you’re feeling scared or unsure, the warlord will stroke your hair and remind you about all the times that you’ve been right (and all the things you’ve accomplished because of that). Even if things go awry, he’ll always be there to hold your hand for comfort’s sake. After all, you’ve guided him through his messes, so now it’s his turn to repay the favor.

Another Possibility: Mitsuhide Akechi

Ikemen Revolution

I’d pair you with............... Ray Blackwell!

So there’s not a lot of leeway here since your description really just screamed “RAY” to me. However, I feel like I could throw you at Blanc! He’d do his best to make you feel welcome in the Cradle and slowly crack through your quiet demeanor. Once he learns what’s inside, bunny boy is absolutely charmed! It’s hard for him to stay away, especially since he just gravitates towards your cheery energy. Nevertheless, the Black Army King won over in the end.

When Ray first meets you, he appreciates your quiet side. Not too noisy or annoying, unlike certain members in the Black Army. Besides, you seem to have your head screwed on straight, so he won’t have to worry too much about you getting into endless trouble. Your maturity throughout the entire situation will only garner his respect.

When Fenrir cracks a crude joke and you stifle your laughter, Ray raises an eyebrow. There’s definitely more to you than meets the eye and he’s interested in what exactly hides behind your quiet exterior. While he may not go out of his way to search for it, Ray takes mental notes when you do something that pleasantly surprises him.

Bookworm buddies!! Every now and then, you two engage in a reading competition: who can read the most books throughout the week? For the prize, the loser has to listen to the winner’s commands for an entire day. While the winning party varies, it’s always a close call.

Ray is always teasing you for being a hopeless romantic. However, that’s just his way of hiding how he thinks that your mentality towards love is adorable. If he’s completely honest, you remind him of the main heroine in most romance novels. Does that mean he’s willing to be your love interest? Why don’t you ask him and find out ;)

Ray notices the twinkle in your eyes when you watch him practice with his sword. When you ask him about it, he’ll happily show you all the types of swords and guns that are used in the Black Army. He even gives you confidential information about the latest gun prototypes. At one point, he’ll even gift you with the weapon of your choice (you can customize it however you want). Whether you choose to use it is up to you (but little tip here: Ray finds it hot when you carry it around on your belt).

Another Possibility: Blanc Lapin

MLQC

I’d pair you with............ Victor!

Before I unveil first place over here, I think you and Kiro would also have amazing chemistry too! You two would mesh so well together, being the biggest balls of sunshine. When you’re feeling down, you can always expect his teddy-bear smile to cheer you up in an instance. It gives me such “wholesome couple vibes” that I’m not even sure how to put it into words.

So you must be wondering, “Why Victor?” It’s because our loveable grump needs some sunshine of his own (a ray of sunshine that he won’t throw out the window or chastise to death). From the beginning, Victor takes a liking towards you. You’re mature, dependable, and want the best for the company. Even if you’re not directly involved, he appreciates your efforts towards becoming the best. There’s something about you that makes him want to root for you.

And so he does, pouring a decent amount of money into your dreams. However, Victor will constantly watch you from the side (after all, he’s gotta see how his investment is being used). This may cause you some discomfort, but he’s doing it to make sure that you get to the top of your dreams. 

When you’re feeling unsure of yourself, Victor will give you the guidance that you need. He’ll try his best to give his input on the situation, making sure that it gets you closer and closer to the answers that you need. Once you manage to pull everything together, he can’t help but feel a little tug on his chest. It’s a combination of both pride and something a little sweeter.

Victor also finds your multi-faceted personality quite impressive. It’s amazing how you can show a range of emotions and feelings, especially when you’re dealing with different types of people. He doesn’t have such a range of emotions, so he tries to pick up on a few of your traits. It doesn’t always work, but you always get a good laugh out of it.

Whenever Victor has had a long day at work, the two of you lay on the grass and watch the night sky. There’s something about the stars that calms him and he wouldn’t have known it if he never met you. So he’ll always be grateful for the peace that you’ve given him. 

Another Possibility: Kiro