#and you're starting to blorbo from my shows one of the guys.

[whim-prone-pirate]

watching a very serious show and discovering a few seasons in that you're starting to feel for one of the characters like he's your blorbo and you feel dread run slowly through your entire body. many such cases

[livvyofthelake]

utterly cannot stand the type of post thats like "what are the female characters you like" and i KNOW it's not the fault of the people who make those posts i know they only do it because 95% of this site's blorbos are men. but i hate it anyway. like really the only way you can get fandom people to talk about women is to explicitly tell them to talk about women. and it always comes off so disingenuous because i KNOW most people reblogging those posts would never say those characters on a generic "what are your favorite characters" post. like it's all just so bleak :/

[wannaeatramyeon]

Lookism guys comforting YOU

G/N hc feat all my blorbos. Jakey, Sammy, Goo, Gun, Vin, Ryuhei

You're stressed and upset. Overwhelmed. Day gone from bad to worse and you're seeking comfort-

Jake comes in with the jokes, makes you laugh even when you want to cry.

Wipes away your tears with careful fingers, yourself not even sure if they're from laughter or distress.

He does pick his moments though, and knows when to put a serious face on.

When you're too upset and it's not the right mood, he'll pull you into his lap, envelop you with his arms.

Tells you how amazing you are, how precious to him, how much better you make his life. Until little by little, you start to feel more like yourself.

Samuel holds you steady against him.

Lets you sniffle into his expensive shirts, breathing shaky breaths against his skin.

Offers you something to blow off steam. One of his vices: drink or nicotine or maybe violent retribution.

Or even something pretty and expensive and sparkling, to take your mind off it.

If you opt for none, he'll sigh and hold you close. His nose nestled in your hair, your head resting on his chest.

He's a busy man with things to do, but you always come first. He'll be there for you for as long as you need.

Goo is outraged at whatever has pissed you off or upset you.

Takes it as a personal slight, whether it is someone making you cry, school stressing you out, job not going well or anything in between.

How dare they do this to you.

Bad mouths whatever has pissed you off so much that even you're feeling a bit bad for them.

Eventually tries to buy your happiness, or tests the water to see if it's something casual arson or grievous bodily harm may solve.

When it's none of the above, he just says your name with a soft sigh. Cups your face, peppering you in kisses until he sees your smile again.

Gun sits and listens to whatever is on your mind.

He's great at it, never showing any impatience. Quietly taking in everything you're saying.

Gives hums of encouragement, nods every now and then to urge you to continue.

Gaze focused and attentive, never glazing over or drifting away.

At the end, when you're finishing sniffling into his shoulder, he asks how he can help.

With your hand in his, thumb running over your knuckles, sweetly offers to kill anyone you like... It's not a joke.

He himself feels a pang of disappointment when you turn him down.

Vin pokes fun at you, initially.

Defaulting to his mean self even where you're concerned and especially when he's feeling uncomfortable.

At your wet eyes and downtrodden expression, he feels bad. Awful actually.

Changes tact and puts his arm around you. Gently directs your head to his shoulder and calls you an idiot for crying.

Rubs your arm soothingly regardless. Pats your head awkwardly but makes up for it with kisses to your forehead.

Asks what or who has done this and silently vows to make them puke blood all night.

Ryuhei immediately reaches for his weapon, asking "who did this to you?!"

He has promised to never make you cry or upset but that doesn't mean someone else can!

When you say no, he offers to take your mind off things in other ways. Specifically in bed-

Again you say no but he drags you to bed anyway.

"No funny business," he promises and you lie down.

Curls up behind you, wrapping you in his protective embrace.

Whispers in his native language to you, soothing and like a lullaby.

[draconicred]

Experiences in the Alterhuman Community (and Beyond) as a Fictive

It's a weird experience being a fictional character, especially dealing with fandom, the fact that your source is fictional, and interactions with people based on that--including some of the dehumanisation that's so common toward fictionfolk. I'm gonna go into that here because I need somwhere to collect my thoughts, so this might get long. I'll be talking about my experiences as a fictive, but this could very well apply to anyone who identifies as a fictional being--fictionkin, fictionlinkers, etc.

So, I see the version of me on the screen as an AU version of me, in short. I mean, I'm me, and I don't think I even looked exactly 1:1 with my canon self--so naturally, even though events line up pretty closely, I see my source as... Almost like a fanfic of my life? Like sure, that's decidedly me, and decidedly a lot of the things that happened to me and my friends, but also not me. I'm not that guy on the screen, he's what represents me.

Even though I fully believe I got here by dying in a literal past life, my source media here is absolutely fictional to me and I just... Don't look at it in really any other way. Which I guess makes sense if you put it into my perspective--what else would it be? It really is like reading a fanfic based on your life though, or reading an article about yourself in the news. A bit of a shock, a bit of "why did they include THAT?" sprinkled in here and there, a bit awkward sometimes, and it does tend to resurface bad feelings. But overall, it's not that personal to me. I'm largely fine with it existing.

On the other hand, what is shocking is that people see me as fictional. I'm a fictional introject, from a fictional source, from the perspectives of a lot of people here. But I look at my source and I go well... Yeah, that's fiction of course, but my life is an actual thing that happened to me. Realistically I know that not everyone has spiritual beliefs and not everyone even accepts fictional identities as something "real", but man is it weird to just... Have it be spun in such a way?

I'm used to being in the media, I'm used to having cameras on me and being in the public eye. I'm used to articles and stories and posts on the internet. I'm used to fans even! But this isn't your regular, run-of-the-mill experience of people wanting to know you because you're a hero. This is people who see your life and experiences as a fun story they saw in a book or on TV, coming up to you with the idea that you're their favourite character, and not... A whole entire person. It's so damn weird.

There's still that level of disrespect that comes from people who are a little parasocial with you, but it almost hits deeper here because a lot of the time, you know they're not seeing a hero or the things you've literally done in your memories. They're seeing that guy on the screen they think is cool, and while he represents you, he's not you. And they're treating you like a celebrity because of that weird fanfic version of you on the TV or in that book.

There's usually little acknowledgement of your life or experiences as "real". When you're presenting as your fictional identity around others, you tend to get put into one of a few camps:

Cool Character from Media who I love and adore and want to talk to (and will probably get fanperson excited about it). I will probably get dispraportionally upset if Character tells me to back off a bit because I don't want my blorbo to be mad at me.

Character from Media I'm in love with and will immediately start asking invasive questions to or outright flirting with. Could get real gross real quick.

Problematic Character or Guy From Problematic Media that I instantly dislike because that's so Problematic how dare you show your face. I'm reporting you for being Character, you should change your identity if you want to exist so bad.

Character from Media who is disabled/queer/mentally ill/has any soft personality trait ever and I will now be treating you like a sweet little babyboy cinnamon roll who could not hurt a fly.

Person who identifies as Character? How interesting! I'm going to really pry and question everything from your actions in-source (to get unique perspectives from Character) and question literally everything else. Because this is Science and I'll get mad if you don't tell me everything, you need to tell me everything or you're rude.

Of course there's nuance and there's absolutely times where you'll be treated as a normal person, but the above are... So damn common. I've been here for a few months and I've already had some weird stuff happen to me simply because I'm Kirishima and people feel entitled to give me cutesy nicknames or whatever. Even without knowing me or my system at all beforehand. It's just.. So different from anything I've experienced before? Being treated like a celebrity is dehumanising enough, but being treated like a character.ai bot or just generally a form of free entertainment and not a person is so perplexing to me.

There's also that if you're from a popular source, you see stuff about yourself everywhere. Posters, plushies, advertisements, posts on social media--all of it. Some of that I'm used to already, but it's kind of weird when you're mentally aware that this is all for that twisted-mirror version of yourself and not you. And if you get a little uncomfortable at some fanart showing up out of the blue, or someone making a source related joke... You're kind of just expected to brush it off. Which yeah, I get it! It's about the source, not me, but it's still just... A weird feeling. A feeling of not being allowed to be upset because it's about the source and not literal you.

I think there needs to be a line, maybe. Not saying that fictives should be putting a stop to any media or fandom ever, just.. That maybe respect toward us for being uncomfortable with fan content due to being a fictive or fictionkin should be more normalised. It should be more okay to say "hey, I'm Character, please don't joke like that" to a friend, or "don't send me fanart of this thing, I'm Character and that's weird"--which it normally is! But there does tend to be a sort of layer of "Oh, it's because you're Character. You know that's not you, right? You shouldn't be upset, you need to source separate more."--when if most other people were to set a boundary like that, it would usually be respected. Source separation can be great, but if someone hasn't separated or doesn't want to, why is it okay to still send them material they're uncomfortable with--or at least, why do people tend to argue that the fictive should "just separate from source" instead? It... Just boils down to alterhumisia toward fictionfolk, honestly. It sucks.

There's a lot of problems with basic respect toward fictionfolk of all kinds--hell, even in the alterhuman community where it's meant to be safe. I don't know if this rant is entirely coherent or not, I don't know if there's anything noteworthy to take from it--but if you do take something from it, let it be that fictionfolk want to be treated like people. Source separated, not source separated, canon divergent or compliant, hearted, linker, 'kin or 'tive--we're people. Don't let our identities change the way you instinctually treat us. Let us be openly us, and treat us as you would anyone else.

[anxietycheesecake]

I'm sorry that you're being attacked and blocked for having valid criticisms. It's really weird to be new to this fandom and watch it go from a fairly positive space to fans being as nasty to each other as Star Wars fans in such a short period of time, especially when the crumbs people are cobbling together and calling a canonized ship is what we scrape for in other fandoms with ships we know will never be canon and we KNOW we're stretching the material we're given. I love my queerplatonic ships, found families, and platonic soulmates. I can absolutely enjoy Nandermo through that lens, but the gaslighting and mental gymnastics here is raising such a fucking eyebrow and you don't deserve to feel like you've done something wrong for recognizing it.

Being allosexual or alloromantic is as valid as being asexual or aromatic and it's actually so fucking unchill to conflate being gay or pan with being ace or aro just because they are all under the queer umbrella.

Ace =/= celibate, but half this fandom thinks Guillermo is a virgin and I can't help but think that's being bundled into the hot takes that are coming out right now when it's canon that he's uncomfortable due to being in the closet and his Catholic upbringing. Yes, he could be ace, but that means at best were batting 1/4 for aroace Nandermo.

Nandor has sex with Gail onscreen and is very clearly not ace. The vampires would have MINIMALLY mentioned Guillermo being a virgin and wouldn't have eagerly asked about his sex life in Atlantic City if they thought he was one and they practically have radar for it. He was panicking over Jeremy being a virgin and having brought him into the house and the only thing that saved the guy was losing his virginity. Nandor and Guillermo are both romantic in romantic relationships, and both are expressive about it and tell others they love them.

When you speedrun the entire series and the notable interviews with fresh eyes and not over a stretch of years the leap between 'My Nan- Master' vs. best friends, cuddling a Nandor puppet at night, the I'll make you a vampire speech vs. the vibe in the warrior speech is SO visible and it fits perfectly with Simms' public discomfort with fans shipping Nandor and Guillermo. He is openly uncomfortable with them being in a romantic relationship or having sex with each other and uses every homophobic gaslighting tactic in the playback when speaking about it.

“No, I do think there’s a small subset of very vocal people on Twitter who are like ‘We want to see Nandor and Guillermo hook up,’ and we’re always like, I think their love is bigger and more profound than that,” Simms said. “And also do you really want to see that? Do you?”

This is literally how straight people talk when they're uncomfortable with queer shit. What haven't we seen in this show other than that? Is Nadja and Laszlo's love lesser for it?

“Times that we’ve talked about it and explored it, the power dynamics seem so problematic,” Simms continued. “I mean, that’s his boss.”

In a show where the main couple started with nonconsensual sex (it's still noncon if it turns out that they could have had sex without hypnosis) and Laszlo fucks Colin Robinson after raising him for a gag. Sure, keep telling yourselves that the power dynamic is what makes Simms uncomfortable.

"I mean, it's a nice thought, for some...I don't know about these guys" Kayvan says as he nods toward Simms.

I've seen the Harvey interviews and talking heads from earlier seasons on the subject of Nandermo. The 2024 panel couldn't have been more different, and Harvey seemed completely subdued when the others were discussing Nandermo fanart and them being a ship.

This isn't a person who deserves applause for queer representation and it seems toxic af that Harvey has been stuck in a workplace where he has to hear this drivel when he's openly gay. Yes, I am side eyeing the fuck out of this and it's not because I'm crying over wanting my blorbos to smooch.

You can actually have a romantic pair not kiss or fuck or say I love you without pulling a very clear 'no homo.' That would have been totally fine, but they didn't do that. Copy and paste that scene into anything starring Andy Samberg, or literally anything bro centric and tell me it's a romantic love confession. Or rather, try taking it off tumblr and see if anybody thinks it isn't deep platonic male friendship.

It's okay for people to be upset when they've been hoodwinked. It's okay to separate fanon from canon and still enjoy your ships. But ffs stop gaslighting each other and saying non-romance is romance or that non-romance has more worth than romance and that people are shallow for not valuing it when that's not the problem people have with this, and when that isn't the bill of good audiences we're sold in earlier seasons.

The call is coming from inside the house it shouldn't be.

(Also SO sorry for how long this was).

Never apologize for articulating this better than I ever could. I'm too lazy to look for all the recipes I know are out there, so most of the shit I say is like "source: trust me bro"; I'm glad someone else did it.

The aspec thing makes me so mad because, as a writer, I'm always going out of my way to properly and respectfully represent aspec folks. Like, I've got two novels starring an ace woman and an aromantic man. Do I deserve a medal for that? Of course not! It should be normal. But it's kind of infuriating that people are willing to give aspec rep credit to a show just because it made two male characters stay platonic after teasing their relationship for years and call me aphobic for pointing out that's not the case.

[raointean]

Funniest responses* to the "What does "Blorbo" mean?" question

(In reference to my silmarillion fandom linguistics project, the results of which you can find in my "survey says" tag)

*not necessarily the full response, some are just fragments from longer responses. Also, I'm not filtering by "correct" or "incorrect" responses

Special Little Guy (gender neutral)

Lmao. That's like, my special little guy. He takes up my brain space. I'm rotating him.

you know how lilo from lilo and stitch has that doll she made, complete with backstory? basically like that

one's blorbo is a character one cares a lot about. it kind of has like... condescending or woobifying connotations? like expressing that Maedhros is your blorbo is sort of uh... one imagines like, a chibi Maedhros. cute, not scary. but it doesn't necessarily imply the speaker has distorted perception of the character in general, just a sort of fondness

The character a person wants to use as a doll/stuffed animal

A character who the author loves too much (and knows it)

"OMG Blorbo was in the new trailer for 5 seconds!" is a common statement

which often provokes... strange thoughts at 11pm.

Beloved character who you think about entirely too much and also enjoy putting in Situations

It implies some degress of being pathetic as well.

No relation to Blorbo Baggins.

The character you put under a microscope, put through the cheese grater, put into the salad spinner, and squeeze like a plushie.

A beloved character whom you want to both stick in a microwave and protect with all you have

character one fangirls* over (*gender neutral)

Just a little guy, whom I am deeply enamored of and just want to squish on the head and see what happens.

Favourive character, often pathetic, someone to pity as much as love

obsessed. baby. Will run my mouth off about them

the word "favorite" wasn't enough to encapsulate "the exact kind of character made specifically for me in the lab" either. my friendgroup started calling those types of characters "callouts" because they were calling you out by existing Exactly To Your Tastes

(not necessarily in a way that condones their actions, but deeply beloved nonetheless)

The "cinnamon roll" kind. Idk I love Namo but I'd never call him a blorbo, it just wouldn't feel right.

??

dear?

My personal favourite character, whom I want to adopt even if he's a dark lord

A particularly beloved (or beloathed-in-a-positive-way) character.

Generally seem to be problematic favs.

I think it was originally meant to be somewhat mocking, but it was wholeheartedly adopted and is now used unironically.

A favored character that usually is subjected to great amounts of trauma and or fluff.

A favourite character, usually male

The obsession character

Feanor/character you are unreasonably attached to esp. if they are a Bad Person TM

The character who is most special and beloved to you (and often that means you're gonna put them through The Horrors)

a character that makes you chew on the bars of your enclosure

Special little character from my shows(tm)

usually having an aura of kicked wet puppy (brimby)

You'd build a shrine to them

Idk, ask the children 😹. Er. Hot character you like? I'm sure people have very complex definitions explaining why they like the hot character but I don't take fandom that seriously.

Your guy (gender neutral), not a comfort character, but perhaps a character you would like to see experience the worst situations possible (affectionate)

occasionally blorbo from my floor (my cat)

Just a widdle pathetic guy 🥺😈

A favourite character, thuogh usually one you squash like a stress ball or squeaky toy rather than put gently on a shelf

Ungoliant

Guy (gender neutral) who I hold in my hand like a neat rock and look at

character whom i will put in a glass and shake

character you are putting in the metaphorical salad spinner

A favourite character, often a war criminal treated like they did nothing wrong, they are a little kitty

(character you're particularly attached to and usually put in physically and/or mentally torturous situations for fun)

A character you’ve imprinted on and like seeing in misery. They’re your wet cat you enjoy pouring water on but also toweling off

Your favorite character, to whom no harm may come (except in the service of angst)

my guy. my friend my buddy. the person

Literally your favourite ever character, but not like you want to f*ck them, more like "how much can i let them suffer?"

Your favouritest character from media that you like to put in all kinds of situations, but is not morally problematic.

favourite character you want to bully

a fictional character that you like to an obsessive amount, typically more than other favourite characters; your specialist little guy; someone you are unwell about; you don’t always have to like your blorbo per day but they must take up constant thought space

[starberry-cupcake]

Here I am again, hoping this silly recap brightens your day a little bit, I'm giving you a gentle hug and a mug of your favorite warm beverage ☕

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

I somehow predicted @lady-harrowhark's tshirt in the one before that also, it was very funny, in case you missed it

CHAPTER 48

we're doing just one chapter again because this one was Eventful, fam

last we knew, abby pent was trying to lorraine warren the ghost out of harrowcita's bubble

my running theory was that the ghost was commander wake aka allegedly gideon's mom (none of that is in any way confirmed yet)

and ortus was about to say something

I said it might be poetry and, guess what?

I WAS RIGHT

you go, ortus, you recite that poetry

abby apparently takes that as a cue to do something and thinks ortus has too much faith in her

but ortus trusts her, there's a lot of polycule moments in this one

the sleeper/waker/slasher allegedly gideon's mom unconfirmed absolutely does not give a fuck about any of this, she's slaying them all with her "baggy orange suit and gun collection"

I need the suit to look like this so bad

harrow starts making constructs but killer bae starts turning them into ash in seconds

I mean, I know we need harrow to live and this woman is not supporting that idea but damn, she looks cool af

if you fought the emperor at any given point, amanda (I'm calling her amanda for now, I'll elaborate later) how did you lose?????

ortus is harmed, so harrow has to continue with the recitation in his place

so harrow continues to recite the nonius poetry, while abby chants in the background and everyone else waits while bleeding

it's a very involved artistic performance that we've got going on over here in canaan au river bubble

sleeper/waker/slasher/alleged commander wake alleged gideon's mom aka amanda (according to me) shoots harrowcita

but then abby is lifted in blue flames and seems to be holding an invisible book and everything gets all vib-ey

these are the exact vibes I'm picturing

(not because I have a print of that in my room)

so harrowcita is saved from getting shot in the head by a man with the Ninth uniform and a very stellar use of the blade

AND YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHO IT IS

IT'S ORTUS'S BLORBO FROM HIS SHOWS!!!!!!!!

matthias nonius is a short king who is surprised to be speaking in meter but is very happy to be here to defend the Reverend Daughter and fight like an expert killing machine

WHERE WAS ALL THIS FIGHTING POWER WHEN IT CAME TO KILLING THE EMPEROR

but not only is matthias nonius 10/10 at fighting (as advertised), the shrine ortus has in his head for him is helping to even the playing field with the waker/sleeper/alleged commander

she can't shoot anymore

"I killed wizard's filth like you all my life. I killed them with guns, and bombs, and knives, and gas, and when I didn't have any of those I just got in real close and put my thumbs through their fucking eyes. You can flick that little skewer around all you like, boy. I'll choke you with it"

SHE'S INTENSE, we can be certain that the Harrow Only Notes were hers

"I certainly hope you're a fighter. God knows you're not a debater"

you guys I'm a certified mati nonius fan right now

ortus is drawing little hearts in his poetry book and writing Ortus Nonius in it

"If all of her cavaliers were this excited for death, she was definitely the problem"

they just love you too much, harrowcita

so mati nonius and waker/sleeper/alleged commander have the most intense and entertaining fight ever

because lyctor fights are weak and boring

but this, this is cinema

harrow thinks that, if gideon had been there, she would have loved the fight but also she'd be terrible at running commentary of it

I disagree, gideon's running commentary is one of the things that keep us together as a society

"In life she must have had few, if any, equals. Her people—whoever they had been—must have cherished her as their finest champion."

gideon got some great fighting genes from all around, if my theories prove right

I mean, if her people are the people I'm thinking, they still have posters of her, so she must have been a big deal before she crashed in the ninth

SAD SHE DIDN'T KILL DR REVEREND EMPEROR JOHN THOUGH

BUT THERE'S STILL TIME FOR THAT

LIKE AN HOUR

harrow says mati nonius is "a poem" which is very nice of her to say

you go, short king

there's a lot of blood happening, also, which could be encouraging, since before this, the waker/sleeper/alleged commander wasn't bleeding at all

the room changes to become a ninth chamber and alleged commander changes clothes from the star trek orange suit to a different yet still orange getup and a golden mask

ortus's shrine in his head built for mati nonius is rewriting the possession

because nothing can pull you from the depths of despair as fast as your favorite blorbo

"My master in life was revenge, my mission is one of—Goddamn it, I'm not going to start talking like this"

more points for the gideon's mom theory

protozoa and ortus are now communicating telepathically, they are starting to put aside their rivalry and finding out they have a lot in common

enemies to friends to lovers speedrun

mati nonius loses his sword and goes feral

protozoa throws his cunty seventh rapier towards him, mati nonius catches it and ends the waker/sleeper/alleged commander

it all looked incredibly cool

once the enemy is partially defeated (let's remember she's supposedly tethered to an object that I think is gideon's sword), the body horror starts falling from the walls

it's described as "sausages flung from a height" which is...quite the thing

like, I get what that sounds like, but also, maybe I didn't wanna know

harrow looks at the face of the waker/sleeper/alleged commander and says it's the woman from the poster of the shuttle

YASSSS GETTING CLOSER TO MY THEORY

like, I still don't know if the woman from the poster is commander wake or if she is indeed gideon's mom, but I'm going all in on this theory

now we have a little intermission in which everyone is waxing poetic about everyone else

this is the canaan house we always wanted to see

protozoa is giving heart eyes to mati nonius, mati is giving respects to harrow, ortus is saying he wants to write a poem about abby, magnus is telling ortus not to flirt with his wife as a joke but ortus looks mortified

and abby says ortus did most of the job but she also points out she corrected some of his spelling

which might have been the biggest mistake in magnus's and abby's lives because they just destroyed their polycule

you can't treat the ninth like that, fifth, they take it personally

but ortus is vindicated because his oshi, his favorite blorbo, his biggest hero, tells him nice things

harrowcita goes to check on the ghost corpse of the waker/sleeper/alleged commander and finds some tags

one of which says AWAKE

I THINK THAT'S MAYBE A. WAKE

AS IN COMMANDER WAKE

and I'm naming her amanda, as previously established

it would go well with the ancient tumblr meme

the prophecy

sure hope this isn't the famous alecto everyone keeps mentioning because it'd ruin my prophecy

abby tells harrow the only way to get rid of her for good is to destroy the object to which she's tethered to

which I suspect might be gideon's sword, so fuck all this

we're meant to lose gideon and her sword??? absolutely not

let the woman kill the emperor instead

ALSO

surprise! mati nonius is besties with gideon the first

now, for someone who was sold out to be super serious and not an extrovert, gideon the first knows EVERYONE

he knows mati nonius, he probably also knows, to some degree of intimacy yet undetermined, the commander, he might be somewhat related to our gideon

the man is everywhere

basically, mati nonius and gideon the first had the same speedrun friendship that gideon had with camilla

they fought each other once and one of them thought "you're friend-shaped :) "

so, mati nonius is willing to go help gideon the first with the beast

because, as we have previously seen, no other lyctor is currently doing what they were supposed to

so, ortus says he'll go with mati to help gideon the first

abby and magnus want him to go with them to be forever happy in their polycule, but it's too late

abby has insulted his spelling and magnus has made him feel uncomfy with his joke about the flirting

HOWEVER protozoa has told him he actually likes him AND has quoted poetry HE WROTE HIMSELF

enemies to friends to lovers to soulmates

martita, who was there the whole time, ties her sword to her broken hand and says she'll go with them

martita is actually cool for a second house person

judith, you didn't deserve her

NOW THERE'S A PROBLEM

A BIG ONE

if harrow doesn't go back to her body, she'll get lost and lose her mind in the river

if she does, though, she's gonna kill gideon for good

harrowcita has a crisis and a breakdown

(and also stops for just a second to remember gideon rolling up her sleeves)

magnus compares the situation to a breakup he had with abby one time, which I don't think really encompasses the gravity of this situation, but ok magnus, it sure is similar

I mean, the breaking up part maybe but the level of gravity of the situation? idk man

I'm sure breaking up with abby felt this dramatic to you but...it's a little different

abby and magnus leave, telling harrowcita that jeanne said to tell gideon "hi" if harrow sees her first

which is super cute of the kid tbh

so, that leaves us with real!dulcinea

who is still here because

1) much like her lyctor counterpart, is very resistant to dying for good

2) she's determined to get vanished into nothingness and disappear into the very essence of existence, which I think sounds pretty cool

"The Seventh says nothingness is the only truly beautiful thing anyway, so nyah"

3) also: "Actually, I've got something to tell you"

I SURE HOPE IT IS A WAY TO SAVE BOTH GIDEON'S AND HARROW'S LIVES

FINGERS CROSSED

and that's it for this chapter!!!! next time, I'm expecting more gideon and yandere twin antics!!!

[secondbeatsongs]

Hello, you said in some tags in a poll that Speed Racer (2008) is your favorite film. If you’re okay with it, I’d really like to hear more about why you love it. I love the Wachowskis’ work (they’re among my favorite directors), but I kinda ended up bouncing off Speed Racer (2008). So, hearing that it had a real impact on someone makes me very curious why. I’m not interested in criticizing your opinion or arguing with you, I’d just really like to know why you love it in the hopes I might be able to enjoy that movie more in the future.

oh god this is from seven months ago, I'm so sorry - but I do love almost everything about Speed Racer (2008) and I still think about it nearly every day.

I love that it's so bright and colorful and absurd. I love that it's an anime in live action form. and I love that at its heart, it is a story about love.

it's about the mistakes people make out of love, and the consequences of that. it's about the way children grow to understand why the adults around them make the choices they do, and maybe choose to do the same things. it's about taking risks for the people you love, and the pain of failing to change the world, because everything is capitalism and everything hurts.

(and it's also about being transgender btw. like, that's one of the main things about it - it is very much a movie about being transgender)

what if your father's choices hurt your older brother, and your older brother's choices hurt you, and now it's you and your younger brother staring down a future where you're going to end up hurting him by making the same choice?

and then...what if you can escape that? what if the broken parts put themselves back together, and the hope doesn't run out, and you're not alone with the things that haunt you? what then?

and now you're at the end and mistakes were still made, people were still hurt, but everyone's grown and changed and they're different now. and they've figured out that maybe, just maybe, you can change the world by doing something you love, by creating art and beauty and making people feel things.

maybe you really can defeat capitalism by driving a car really fast. and even if everyone thinks you can't...don't you have to try anyway? shouldn't you fight with the skills you have, the only way you know how?

what if it works?

and I'm not even gonna get into most of the Racer X stuff (because I want people to go watch this movie, and most folks probably won't be spoiled for it), but his whole deal is just...everything. I love him.

(if there's a guy from Speed Racer that I want to put in a jar and shake every so often, or maybe wrap in a blanket so he can have a nice nap, it's Racer X. he's a great character. prime blorbo material)

anyway I've been rotating this movie in my head ever since I saw it for the first time, and I think I've seen it...seven? times now? and I still cry at the final race, and I still get blown away by the intro sequence.

(the beginning of the movie is genuinely one of the best things I've ever seen - it does an amazing job of introducing you to the world and the story of the characters, and gets you emotionally invested in it right from the start. it's fantastic filmmaking)

also like. story stuff aside, from a technical standpoint, the movie is a masterpiece. it's the type of thing that people hated when it first came out, but when you look at it now and see how it was made, how it intentionally looks bizarre and cartoonish, plastic and surreal, you can see the exact vision the Wachowskis were going for, and it's brilliant.

the way they did the visual effects, the way they made the outdoor scenes feel so detailed, the way the driving and the tracks work - they put so much thought into that, and the behind-the-scenes vids show how cool their process was.

also uhhh cars go vroom, crash into each other, flip upside down, explode, maybe have bees and hammers in them sometimes?

(the above is me complimenting the unhinged vibe of the races themselves, which I love very much)

anyway I could make other full posts about the script of the film and how much I love it, or the cool side characters, or the fanfic potential of the amazing world of the film, or how I can prove that it's set in 1991...but I guess if anyone wants those rants, they'll just have to watch the film and then come talk to me. :)

(please. please come talk to me about Speed Racer.)

so, yeah! I kinda lost my mind there and made this post way longer than I intended, but I do feel strongly affected by this movie, and I hope this has helped explain why.

[ooffmlsorry]

Bringing Law Home for a Family Holiday

Readers' Note: Reader has a large and generally good but overbearing family. Only happy things in this, little to no angst!

A/N: Every holiday I get struck with the desire to write my latest blorbo coming home with their s/o for the holidays. I don't have time to crack out 10-15k words so this is probs gonna be more stream of consciousness but it'll get the point across.

I've been imagining how tense the travel to Law's s/o's house is because God forbid y'all be late because Law wants to make a good impression no matter how many times you explain it's a very loose 4 p.m. arrival time.

You've been dating for long enough that you think it's reasonable for him to meet your family (that was enough to make Law's heart flutter and then start hammering...could it be you're just as serious about him as he is about you?)

"My aunt showed up at noon and my cousin's probably not going to be here until after dark, really it's fine!" You'd insist. "Besides, the people that show up on time are the ones that end up having to go back out because someone forgot something!"

And of course Law would say "that's fine." With a such a stubborn and determined tone. Being on time or a few minutes early is better than being late! Suddenly your man is a rule follower! 🤭Suddenly you can picture Law as he was a kid studious and button-ed up in his little doctor's uniform. It's almost kind of cute if he wasn't so nervous.

The closest thing to family Law has is Bepo, Shachi and Penguin. Not since the Donquixote family has Law had anything to do with that word and he's so nervous he feels sick. For Law this translate to acting like he has the world's biggest cactus shoved up his ass, and you know that so you try not to take his coolness personally.

Holding his hand helps a little though. You ignore how shaky and sweaty it is.

He's feeling a lot of big feelings right now, poor guy.

He insisted on you giving him a "family tree" when he realized how big your family is and a list of things not to accidentally mention or do. He's been studying it for days, re-reading it over and over obsessively.

The fact that he's a pirate is fine, which takes a lot of pressure off. You come from a family full of pirates, so you swear Law will fit right in. Although you warn him your grandfather's probably going to start reminiscing about how he knew Gol D. Roger as a kid (which no one knows if that's actually true) and ranting about the young pirates these days.

You'd walk up to your family home high on a hill over looking the sea. From several yards away you can already hear music. You realize as you get closer it's more like you're dragging Law more than he's walking with you.

It's subconscious lol. I promise you he's not doing it on purpose. As soon as you notice it he speaks, "I'm fine."

Poor Traffy is so pale!

His tone dares you to question him, almost as if to actually say "I'm fine, if I wasn't I wouldn't be here Y/N. Please trust me to be honest with you about how I'm feeling." But that's a lot of words for someone who's mouth is cotton dry. He's trying his best, so you give him a quick kiss on the cheek for courage and walk up to the house together.

The first thing your family comments on when you open the door is how early you are despite the fact that it's three minutes to 4:00.

"We weren't expecting Y/N for another hour!" Your aunt winks at Law and nudges him, no introduction, no nothing, and says "you must really be something special if you can get them here to early!"

Despite Law's best efforts, having one of your family members immediately point out his supposed specialness to you makes blush and stutter.

It doesn't matter how awkward his no response of blinking at your aunt was because she's already gone flitting around with an arm full of what your family calls "the good plates."

You pull Law down to whisper in his ear, "told you we'd be early," you giggle.

It's not the nicest house, but it is big, and warm, and festive. Just standing in the doorway taking it in Law's struck with the remembrance of home. He tries to only focus on the present, not Swallow Island, Spider Miles, or even Flevance, your home is good..for today. But tomorrow he'll back at his home: the Polar Tang.

You introduce him to what little family is already there. Your heart squeezes at the way Law awkwardly waves at the baby your cousin's bouncing on his lap and the surprise that quickly turns into a soft smile that spreads across his lips when the baby coos back.

He meets your grandpa, who appraises him very officially. You swear to God Law's holding his breath as the stout man with a peg leg circles him with his arms behind his back. "Trafalgar Law, hmm..." he says very seriously. "You know back in my day pirates didn't all these tattoos to prove they were tough."

"I heard your day was quite a long time ago," Law says almost automatically. In for a penny, in for a pound, he doubles down, adding "sir" at the end.

That would be your boyfriend hehe. Too sharp for his own good.

Of course that's what your grandfather likes. He shakes Law's hand and pulls him into a crushing hug. Your grandpa promises later he's got words for him (ie. the shovel talk). It's a little disturbing how comfortable Law feels knowing he'll be threatened with an unspeakably awful death later. That's the most familiar thing that has happened all day. lol

But he knows the person he needs to impart the best impression on is your grandmother. You don't think you've ever seen Law so perfectly polite in your life....which makes your grandmother howl with laughter! "My ass whooping days are over, boy! Relax!" Her frail hands clutch her stomach as she laughs. She wipes a tear from her eyes, "I thought you said he was a pirate?!" She pats Law on the cheek like he's a sweet little boy (because at her old age 26 is a little boy) and gives it a squeeze. And because it's your grandma, he lets her.

You have to hide your laughter behind your hand.

"He's a sweet boy, Y/N," she says to you. "And so handsome! Where were all the good-looking men like him when I was at sea?"

"I killed 'em all!" Your grandpa yells across the house.

And just like that, Law's in your grandmother's good graces. Of course you knew he would be.

True to your word earlier, you get sent in to town to pick up a short list of last minute things. It's a nice moment to breathe. As soon as you're far enough from the house you wrap your arms around him and kiss him deeply.

"I'm so happy they like you," you say quietly once you come up for air. You don't tease him about how strange it is to see him hoping for someone's approval like you would in most circumstances. Instead you feel yourself melt, "I knew they would, but now you believe me?"

"They like me for now," he says because god forbid he go easy on himself.

"You're not as hard to love as you think you are, Law." You press another kiss to his lips.

(A/N: ooh chile lemme tell you, for saying that right there that man is going to romantically rail you within an inch of your life when y'all get back to the ship. That is the only way I can convey to you how much you saying that means to him. He's speechless.)

By time y'all get back there are a lot more people here and it's a lot louder. Your brother asks Law about a rash on elbow (at the dinner table no less, but hey these are pirates!) and he actually gives him advice.

Law meets your little cousins, who ask him a million questions including but not limited to:

"Why do you wears that funny looking hat?"

"Are you actually a surgeon?"

"Does getting a tattoo hurt?"

"Can you give me a tattoo?"

"How many Marines have you killed?"

"Are the Straw Hat Pirates really that strong?"

"Do you really have a polar bear on your ship?"

"Are you and Y/N ever gonna have a baby?"

To which Law responds:

"Who said it was funny looking?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. I don't feel pain." you thought this man would take their questions seriously?

"Surgeons aren't allowed to do that. My hands will fall off if I do."

"Definitely more than you."

"As strong as they are stupid."

"Yeah, he's our navigator."

".........I think I heard someone calling you from the kitchen."

Your little cousins think "he's weird funny." He does "surgery" on the dolls your cousins offer up to him and thoroughly enjoy the weird monstrosities he creates. And Your moody teenage nephew deems Law "cool."

Your mom insists Law's too skinny for his own good and piles more food on his plate. "If you're going to survive out there you need some meat on your bones! I wanna see you here next year, Trafalgar."

Law almost chokes. Your mom already wants him back next year. He was expecting to have to get her approval somehow too, but she's accepted him immediately. "All I needed to know is if you make my little Y/N happy!" Your mom explains while hugging you, "And look how happy they are!"

And your old man, a pirate captain in his own right, several beers deep, slings his arm over Law's shoulder. "You're the one that's got that big ol' bounty, huh?" Before Law can fully answer, he continues on drunkenly, "that means you probably looted enough to cover your own wedding, right? Cause I'm sure's shit not." God bless Law for taking it with a grain of salt and taking him over to a couch. "That means you can marry 'em if ya want, as'long as I don' havta pay none. But if you break their heart I'll turn ya in myself...goddamn Marines...making me a traitor..." he says until his words turn into drunk muttering.

"That's your blessing in case you were wondering," your mom sighs. "I know you didn't ask but that was it. That man is fine with anything as long as he doesn't have to pay for it."

"You get my blessing because you helped clean up!" Your grandma pipes in. "Nothing more valuable than a man that knows how clean up after himself!"

I don't know how many times Law is rendered speechless for a moment. Was it that easy or was your family truly that accepting? In a handful of hours he's been completely welcomed and they want him to come back next year, to marry you? It's dizzying, but in a...hopeful way? Because...he wants it to happen too...if he's lucky enough to come back next year as your husband.

At the end of the night, you and Law are sent on your way with tons of food to bring back to Heart Pirates, and whether he likes it or not your mom and your grandma each press a kiss to Law's cheek.

You walk back down the hill together.

"It was good to see them again," you say. "Was that too much?"

"No," Law says. "I'm happy."

A/N: so yeah, I just had that bumbling around in my head today. I hope it was fluffy enough for ya! 😘

[gremlinmodetweeker]

König's Haunted House Disaster

Inspired by @machveil 's post HERE and my little blorbo of König punching out recruits HERE, I figured that for the day before Halloween I should write about just what exactly went down on the night Horangi, Hutch and Askel took König to a haunted house.

Art from This Post

12:00 - Ten Hours Before the Ban

"Hey König! You gotta check this out!" Horangi called across the cafeteria, enthusiastically waving his phone as he jogged over.

König, already tired of what Horangi was about to say, simply grunted when the Korean man slid into the seat beside him. He tried his best to convey just how tired he was, but it was to no avail as Horangi eagerly crowded into his personal space to show him his crack phone screen.

"You really should get that replaced," König grumbled as Horangi shuffled closer.

"You sound like my Mom," Horangi commented before pressing play on the video.

König winced at the volume as Horangi hurriedly turned it down with a whispered 'Sorry!'.

"You really are a useless-"

"Look!" Horangi jammed his finger at a small sign in the video.

König leaned in and squinted.

"Horangi, my eyes are good but they're not that good. Can you just tell me what it says?"

"This place is near our base!" Horangi explained, "let's get a few guys and we'll go!"

"You want to go to a... A scary house?" König asked curiously.

"A haunted house König," Horangi sniffed, "seriously you moved from Germany over ten years ago and you still don't know what a haunted house is?"

König huffed, "My mind blanked. I know what they are."

"Yeah sure, keep telling yourself that," Horangi drawled before switching tabs to get to a poorly formatted website, "now look, tickets are cheap here. It's only five euros to get in!"

For a moment, König's eyes sparkled.

"Only five euros?" he muttered, "that's not too bad... I could be convinced."

"If we go to the shwarma place fist would that help?"

"... Maybe."

"Alright I'll tell Hutch," Horangi swung his legs from out of the bench.

König watched, slightly stunned, as Horangi swaggered away to the other cafeteria.

"Aren't you going to have lunch with me?" König asked.

Horangi turned to look over his shoulder and scoffed, "Nah, I've got shit to do. I wanna go, but if we don't get enough of a crowd it's just not worth it."

König narrowed his eyes, "Was I only asked to boost numbers?"

Horangi shrugged, "Why are you worried?"

"Don't you consider me a friend?" König asked bitterly.

"Yeah," Horangi said, "but you always push the chair back in the car until it hits my knees."

"Then drive," König stated.

"I don't need you on my case too," Horangi grumbled and walked away, leaving König to sit with an empty tray in front of him.

He glared at the gleaming steel.

"Did I really eat it all that fast?"

17:00 - Five Hours Before the Ban

Hutch took a long swig of water before dropping his arm to his lap. He waved at König fondly, "Hey there."

König waved back curtly and picked up a dumbbell before sitting on a bench and starting his bicep curls.

"You doing another set?" Hutch asked.

"Why not?" König shrugged.

"That's what I keep telling myself, but then I strain something," Hutch laughed, "you best watch yourself old man."

"I am not old!" König grumbled, "I only just turned thirty a month ago."

"You're in your thirties. You're old," Hutch smirked.

"You're what, twenty-nine?" König huffed.

"Twenty-seven and eleven months, thank you," Hutch replied.

"Oh so you'll be old soon enough," König snorted.

Hutch shook his head and wiped a blue towel over her forehead, "Nah, once I hit thirty then thirty-five is old."

"Oh," König rolled his eyes, "I see. So I won't be old for long."

"Did I say thirty-five? I meant thirty-one" Hutch took another sip of water.

"You're worse than Horangi," König puffed as he neared the end of his rep.

"König," Hutch glared down his nose at the bigger man, "nobody's as bad as Horangi."

König put the dumbbell by his feet and set his timer before he admitted, "Maybe not."

"Speaking of Horangi though," Hutch started stretching his arms over his chest, "I heard that he invited you to come out with us?"

"Word really does go around fast here," König muttered.

"When it's with Horangi? Sure does. But seriously man," Hutch eased into a good stretch, "are you coming?"

König drummed his fingers on his thigh as he felt his heart rate relax. He turned his head from side to side and then said, "Why not. I don't have anything else to do."

"Then I guess we got you on a good day," Hutch smiled.

"'We'? I thought this was a Horangi thing," König glanced over at his friend.

"Well, I gave Horangi the idea, but he was the one who really made it happen," Hutch explained, "I was hoping we might schedule something for next week or whatever, but Horangi's too impulsive to wait."

"Strange. When we were out in Iraq I saw him line up a shot for three hours," König shook his head, "but that man works in weird ways. I don't think I'll ever understand him."

"Funny, 'cause he says the same things about you," Hutch commented.

König was about to say something when his timer went off.

"Another rep, big guy?"

König nodded and picked up the dumbbell again, "Always another."

20 :00 - Two Hours Until the Ban

"Oh my God this is so good."

"See? I told you it would be."

"Okay but I saw you flicking mould off a peach last week," Horangi rolled his eyes as he stuffed another forkful of shwarma in his mouth, "your definition of 'good' is fucked."

König bristled as Hutch and Aksel laughed quietly behind him. He glared at the two, but it only served to worse Aksel's giggling.

"It was just a tiny bit," he explained.

"It was not a tiny bit," Aksel snickered, "that was the peach that Stiletto forgot in her locker."

König paled, "Was it really?"

"Yeah?" Aksel shook his head mirthfully, "I mean, it was set out on the counter for a reason."

"I thought..." König trailed off as he turned to glare at his hands.

"Whatever you thought," Hutch interjected, "it was just stupid. Like come on man, it was smellin' and everything!"

König wrinkled his nose, "I don't think it smelled that bad."

"You know you nearly gave Stiletto a heart attack," Horangi added on.

König smiled beneath his hood, "Well, I suppose I'll have to tell her I'm sorry."

"Oh cut the crap," Horangi gruffed, "you just wish you saw her face too."

König nodded from side to side as the others laughed.

It wasn't often that the men could get off base for a bit, but by pulling König's rank card (Horangi swore that wasn't the reason he was invited) and explaining a few things away, they managed to be able to get some time out to look around and enjoy the city. It took about an hour to drive to the shwarma shop, but at least it seemed to be a hit with the whole team. König was glad to at least provide something to the trip. He hated to admit it, but even then he was anxious about appearing good enough for his team.

"So," Horangi put his plastic fork down, "In about fifteen minutes, what do you guys think about heading out to the haunt?"

"Fine by me," Aksel nodded as Hutch swallowed a bite of his wrap, nodding in agreement.

"Alright. König? You cool with that?" Horangi turned to look at the tall Austrian.

"Should be fine," König nodded, "I mean, it might be a bit late, but..."

"We'll be fine," Hutch shut him down quickly, "don't worry about it man."

"I mean, it's just it's a long drive, and-"

"König! If the numbers guy says it'll be fine, then it'll be fine," Aksel sighed.

Horangi patted his shoulder, "Trust us. It'll be fine."

König sighed and relaxed into the seat. He didn't trust them, not in the slightest, but the least he could do was pretend.

21:00 - One Hour Until the Ban

The group of four man stood outside the farmhouse, looking up and down at the dilapidated building. Fog rolled from the windows with winding screams into the night. Occasionally, a bright red flash would come from the top left window. Cheap cobwebs were woven over the ground, littered with tiny plastic spiders that glowed in the green light coming from the front porch.

"You gettin' scared at all?" Horangi grinned as he looked between the others.

"Pft, it looks cheap," Aksel crossed his arms, "saw way better when I was a kid."

"I think that's positivity bias there, Aksel," König muttered, earning himself a short nod from Hutch.

"I think we might've wasted our time honestly," Hutch frowned as he gave the building another once-over.

"Oh come on," Horangi groaned, "we haven't even been inside. It might be a lot of fun!"

"Fun?" Askel shook his head and tutted condescendingly, "in this place? I doubt it."

Hutch glared at the offending building behind a pair of sunglasses.

"The website made it look so much better," Hutch complained bitterly as he squared his shoulders back.

Watching Horangi's face fall, König couldn't help but kick himself for being so negative to the place. Without another word, he put a hand on Horangi's shoulder and cocked his head to the side.

"Maybe it might be better on the inside, don't you think?" he offered his friend.

Horangi smiled back brightly, "See! König has the right idea!"

König shrivelled under the judgmental glare of the others. He hated how they looked almost disappointing in him for trying to stand up for Horangi. Really, even if the haunt was just for kids, what was the harm in having fun with it?

"Well hey, they say there's only groups of two here," Horangi pointed at a poorly painted sign, "so I'll go with König and you two buzzkills go with each other."

Aksel rolled his eyes, but threw an arm around the taller man to his left, "Alright, looks like we're together."

"Get your arm off of me," Hutch grumbled.

Not keen to be dragged down by the others, König decided to follow Horangi to the front steps of the home.

Strangely, as König drew closer, he couldn't help but feel that age-old familiar tingle in his chest. Something about the house set him on edge. He didn't want to admit it, but the house certainly unnerved him. He had the feeling something horribly dreadful waited for him inside.

"You know, now that the other two are gone, I'm really digging the vibes here," Horangi elbowed König lightly.

"Ja," König replied stiffly, "it is different without them."

Horangi looked up at his friend skeptically. After observing him carefully, a sly smile slid across Horangi's face.

"Getting a bit spooked, big guy?" Horangi asked.

König snorted, "No, of course not."

"Sure," Horangi drawled, "whatever you say."

König turned to glare, but they were already being called up.

As he stepped up to the ticket taker, he noticed the man turning to an actor and whispering. He tried to ignore how they both seemed to focus more on him than Horangi before the smaller scare actor was shooed off.

As they walked into the house, Horangi worsened his fears when he blithely commented, "They really seemed to be looking at you back there. I wonder why."

König felt positively dreadful.

21:30 - Half an Hour Until the Ban

König looked around him nervously. About five minutes ago, Horangi had disappeared from his side. He could hardly believe it. One minute Horangi was chatting away and the next he was gone. He didn't even really know when he lost the man, he'd long-since tuned out his rambling. Now, he wished he were paying more attention.

Now that he was alone, König couldn't help but notice all the sounds more. The screams pressed on his ears as the rattling of chains snaked through his feet. Sometimes he swore he heard someone panting in his ear, but when he turned there was only the low green light guiding him forwards.

With each step he took, he felt like he was passing through thick webs. Occasionally, thick tarps would block his vision and he'd have to push forward. He tried his best to not let his heart rate spike, but something had him on edge.

A part of him was kicking himself for being in any way, shape or form affected by the house. It was just a haunted house, it was all fake. He'd seen real horror, so why did this get to him? What was it that had his skin crawling?

He didn't know but it just kept getting worse.

König pushed past a curtain of rusted chains to enter what looked like the remnants of a kitchen. In the strobing red lights, he could see blood splatters cake the walls. The shine of metal on the walls clued him in to the knives wallpapering the room. His knees felt weak when he finally noticed the centre of the room.

There, lying down strapped to the dining room, a woman watched him with bright white eyes.

König couldn't help himself as he dashed into the next room.

Those eyes, bright white, staring directly at him, they petrified him like no other. He felt them boring into him, even as he left. He spared a glance behind him and nearly collapsed when he saw the woman turn her head 180 degrees to follow him.

He slammed the next door shut behind him, swallowing him in darkness.

21:45 - Fifteen Minutes Until the Ban

König panted as he slumped against the door. He held his chest tightly, welcoming the darkness around him. Finally he could get away from those eyes. In this darkness, nobody could ever see him.

König closed his eyes and sighed.

When he opened them, a small candle lit the room, revealing the contents to him for the first time.

When he looked around, he wanted to scream.

Mirrors. There were mirrors everywhere. Some as big as him, some smaller than his thumbnail. Ton and tons of mirrors all glinting back at him.

He could see his form slowly distorting in the candlelight. Old memories rushed through him and he trampled forth, knocking down a couple of mirrors in the process and shattering them on the ground.

21:50 - Ten minutes Until the Ban

König ran until he collided into a wall and stumbled back. Now in the low red lights he could see everything around him.

From the room of mirrors he'd walked into a small pioneer classroom. To his horror, every single pair of eyes was on him. He tried walking one way, and the 'students' turned their heads. He walked the other way and they followed him. He glanced around in widening horror as he realized the only exit was at the back of the room.

Without another thought, he pushed forth.

21:55 - Five Minutes Until the Ban

König didn't know why he ever agreed to come here. This place was nothing but a house of torture. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to do anything he could to escape. Any exit he saw only took him further and further into the maze.

How was a small farmhouse so big? It felt endless in here. Each turn brought him new horrors, new eyes staring at him. He tried to get away, but he could feel their eyes on him constantly, watching him run, watching him stumble, watching him as he desperately tried to find an escape.

He barely took in his surroundings as he charged through the building. He could hear something being shouted, could hear footsteps crashing down behind him but he just kept pushing forth. He needed to do anything he could to get away. He could feel his throat tightening and his heart pounding as he ripped down a curtain to get by.

He stumbled through into another black room and felt himself shut down.

21:58 - Two Minutes Until the Ban

The room was silent. Nothing from the outside came in. It was cold, terribly cold. Never had he been so cold. Why was he so cold?

He heard a door unlock, and footsteps step in.

21:59 - One Minute Until the Ban

"Uh, hello?" he heard a quiet voice, "um, is anyone in here?"

A bright flashlight turned on in his face, momentarily blinding him.

König didn't think as he punched into the light. He only heard a squawk and a curse as the light dropped down to the ground. He stumbled back and all the lights turned on.

22:00 - THE BAN

"Dude!" he looked down to find a straggly teen.

"Shit he got Johann," a woman yelled out.

"I told you this was a bad idea," a man grunted as he stepped forth and hauled the teen up to his feet. He gave König a sharp glare and jabbed a finger in his direction.

"Me?" König could feel the panic draining from his system.

"You! Go follow her and get out of here," the man yelled.

König didn't need to be told twice. He quickly found the tiny purple-haired woman and scurried to her side. She eyed him with disgust.

"Seriously dude, that wasn't cool," she sighed, "like, I know we're an extreme haunt, but you can't punch the actors. That's like, the number one rule here."

"Ah, sorry," König muttered weakly.

"Your friend is outside waiting for you," she grumbled as she led him through the back, "I told the guys not to push you too far, but they just wanted to scare the big guy and I guess they went too far. Still," she opened the final door, "you're banned from the haunt. Permanently."

"Why?" König asked meekly as he stepped by.

"You punched the actors dude," she glared at him, "number. One. Rule."

With that she slammed the door in his face, leaving him to join Horangi outside.

Horangi only had to take one look at his friend to figure out what had happened.

"You punched an actor?" he crossed his arms over his chest, "that's like, the number one rule."

"I panicked," König explained weakly.

"You? You panicked?" Horangi frowned, "what the hell did they do to you?"

König shook his head as he leaned over, "Eyes. So many eyes."

"Eyes?"

"And mirrors."

"And mirrors!? König, what sorta haunt did you go to?" Horangi quizzed him, "I just got led around a haunted barnyard!"

"After they split us up," König sucked in another breath, "it was... I didn't think that it would be that bad." Horangi scrunched his eyebrows together, but thankfully only clapped a hand on his back and helped push his friend forward, "Alright, well, I saw some sorta candy place. Looked like dragonsbreath, so I wanted to check it out. Wanna come with?"

König wheezed.

"I'll take that as a yes," Horangi shrugged and dragged König over to the cotton candy vendor.

Konig Dump

Konig Regular Fanfics

[aboringredmop]

k still don't know how im gonna post the videos (YouTube? unlisted?someone please help) but I can't sleep so I thought it'd write down whatever I remember happening!

(edit: here's the full recording! )

Becky and Joe walked on stage wearing sunglasses and red leather jackets and threw 3 of the trio plushies into the crowd. didn't get one unfortunately but it's really cool some people got free plushies :)

they made this robot child called the Inspiration Child, who's clearly meant to be a nod to ai (can learn from our show and generate it's own content!)

they explained how they met (and had some dodgy animated retelling), and how they started with small projects like commercials and music videos, until they came up with designs of the trio (and a mysterious fourth fella)

they made the designs first, then made the set, then the song and finally wrote the script for creativity. red guy was just a red mop head with legs at first ("alien squid thing") but Joe put the red guy head on for shits and giggles once and Becky thought it was hilarious so they kept it in the show

they were really not expecting it to blow up, and when Sundance called because they wanted to show creativity Becky thought it was a scam caller lol

they talked about the kickstarter and the credit card fraud kid. the mailed him saying "hey maybe dont do that" but the kid didnt know how to undo it cuz he just found a website full of credit card information and went ham, so Becky and Joe had to contact kickstarter because people were pulling out of the funding because they thought the project was overfunded (kickstarter was very difficult to contact)

they also made (lighthearted) fun of nsfw fluffybird art ((no padlock 😔) "using OUR characters to act out their SICK FANTASIES" - Becky) and theorists, especially because most if not all of the webseries is just them fucking around.

Inspiration Child also says something along the lines of "wow what a cool show with a great message of how corrupt the media is. I hate the media!"

Becky and Joe had these rules to make the show as vague as possible (no pop culture references, no names, no swearing and way too much detail put into small things)(the duck guy drag queen absolutely obliterates the no swearing rule lol)

they talk about the pilot, how they focused too much on the story because they felt like they had to due to it being on the big screen now, and how it ended up ruining the atmosphere and such of the pilot. they did show the entire thing sped up but my phone sucks ass so I could not get it to focus correctly. I'll see what I can salvage so you people can dissect frames of your blorbo you're Legally Not Allowed To See (which is also the official reason we don't get the pilot)

also pilot concept art showed that Mean Steve is in fact just called Key

they showed a whole post-it wall full of ideas for the tv show. don't know how much I got on footage, but what stood out most to me were 2 episodes called Money and Christmas. Joe mentioned "clock in a wheelchair" specifically

also really fun fact. Becky made the Lesley suit during covid, and pretty much threatened Baker into writing a human character into the show to wear it. concept art also shows Lesley with a mask made out of the same fabric, don't know if this was part of the original suit tho

they showed Warrens old models (?). he was gonna be a wayy more ugly looking silicone pug-worm thing y'all got lucky with the bald fuck

lily and todney were directly based off of some cancelled show about two porcelain doll children with panda parents. do not for the life of me remember what it was called but Becky and Joe were very enthousiastic about it (UPDATE: Candy and Andy!)

international release of the show soon!

Inspiration Child talks about what he's learned and sings a little song, then generates his own dhmis inspired content of a cult meeting in a forest at night. the dhmis Discord server called this "potential new content" but I doubt it

3 cultists walk on stage, face the screen backs to the crowd, drop their cloaks and boom! drag queens!!!

they were not mentioned on the site or during earlier parts of the show at all so they were a complete surprise. I asked Becky about it later during the night and she said she really wanted them there, so she asked and they were excited to! hope this means more official content with them soon I love them

they dance to There's Three Of Us, then Duck lipsings the shredder song which turns into a techno remix while Red and Yellow dance during the background

then Duck and Yellow make out while Red tries to undress to the instrumentals of the Fucked Up Part of Creativity but can't get out of his suit on time before the song ends

the drag queens, Becky and Joe and the Inspiration Child walk around during the meet and greet later and I got signatures from all of them! except inspiration child he didn't have thumbs

the drag queens were so fucking funny. Duck adopted inspiration child and loudly yelled at everyone to "GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING CHILD" (their duck voice is sooo good). yellow stood in a corner staring at a wall for like 10 minutes and red was constantly awkwardly hovering just outside the frames of pictures (and also could not see shit lmao)

Becky liked my shirt! (the one with the melting trio heads) said she handdrew it

I'll post the signatures and some more stuff tomorrow because it is. 5 am

edit Heres the signatures! yellow guys is Italian I think? and means hi I love you :)

(the liyskaen is duck trying to spell my name. they got pretty close)

[random-gamer1942]

With the year coming to an end, I wanted to make this little post to thank you all for the amazing times. 2024 has gone by faster than any other year, and for good reason. Particularly, because of an interesting combination of you doing more repetative tasks as you age, and each new year taking up a comparatively smaller portion of your life as you age. Psychologically speaking, this-

WAIT FUCK I GOT DISTRACTED OKAY BACK TO THE POST

This year. Yes. It was special. No, but actually. I met so many of you guys in this year alone, and cannot fathom the facts that I might meet this many more people in the coming years. Thank you all for all the art you've made, the stories you written, the blorbos you've created. Thank you all for the picrew and uquiz chains, for the mass reblogs, for the tag games. Thank you all for getting me into new fandoms - from webcomics to shows. Thank you all for interacting with my posts, and for making my own art and writiny feel like they're worth it. Thank you all for being my mutuals. Thank you all for being my friends

And then, to a handful of particular individuals:

@thatoneluckybee

I still remember the terrible puns I made that one day that caused us to meet eachother, lol. And the butterfly effect that caused. Shite. If you hadn't reblogged that post, I probably wouldn't have met about 90% of my current mutuals, and that's not an exaggeration. Thank you for being the 2nd mutual I ever had, for introducing me to sbg, nevermore, and homesick, and for turning me into a mass reblogger lol. No but honestly, I truly am thankful I know you. Here's to another year of me randomly bombarding your asks when reading webcomics or when thinking of theories! (I've started Marionetta btw, be afraid >:D)

@blue-eyed-moon-child

You're genuinly one of the coolest and most interesting people I've ever met, and in only a handful of months have become perhaps the 2nd closest person to me. I've always enjoyed talking to people older than me, since they're actually able to hold conversations on serious/interesting topics, and you especially are someone I feel I'm able to discuss nearly anything with. Thank you for listening to me ramble all those time. Thank you for helping me when I've felt down. Merci d'être ma sœur. Here's to another year of sibling hijinks, highs and lows, and a LOT more rambling :>

And last but not least, @afrogwhocantdraw and @primalmagic

It's a lot more recent, but being part of the benlor trio has genuinly been so much fun. I remember when I originally met frog when I was making some fanart, and how through sheer constantly interacting with Isa's (PHENOMENAL) fics we got her to become friends with us too. We are the 3 musketeers of the sbg community, and none browse the benlor tag without finding our names. To another year of fanart & fanfic. To the benlor trio. To benlor!

Yes I repurposed that drawing shhhhhh

And with all that, to the new year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

@thatoneluckybee @aceiscoool @moonbiine @quintessential-candles @haruu-luv

@kirexa @missrayofsunshine @onlyinitforthefandoms @indianatumbleweedjones @a-being-of-chaossss

@nina-the-ninth @sl33pdepr1ved @niredsw @simply-a-moth @fish-nailed-to-a-cross

@thurio-edau @sprinklina @lee1504 @whatsuplin @piigeonss

@blue-eyed-moon-child @afrogwhocantdraw @azulas-1-fan @primalmagic @ohquail

@floydetheflowerdragon @fly-in-amber @cherie-soup @artcher-artwork @junebug99

@corvid-collective70 @karmaajr @ldeedub @comatosequestionmark

[chaotic-on-main]

I'M BACK.

Hi guys. I hope you're ready for this.

Welcome to the first ever cringefest hosted by literally all of us writers on tumblr.

What is cringefest, you might be asking? Well my lovely tumblr fiend, this is an event for us lovely creative writers to band together and let go of all our inhibitions. I personally find that I stress out a lot about my writing, making sure it's professional and well written (hell I'm doing it right now as I write this) and that can be very taxing to go through! It's literally so stressful. But what if we said fuck it and wrote for the sake of it?? To be dumb, to laugh at our dumb ideas.

Let's put our blorbos into some situations, yeah??

But first, some answers to some questions:

What do I do?

Write the cringiest, most stupid drabble (or a one-shot if you have more to say) you can about whatever you want.

This is open to any fandom, character, show, anime, movie, trope etc etc.

You need to put them in some real cringy situations though. And make sure your writing itself is cringy, don't hold back!!

Please tw/cw accordingly.

Smut is allowed obviously, I'm not your mom, but again mark MDNI and tw/cw accordingly.

Can I join even if I don't write normally?

ABSOLUTELY. This is open to EVERYONE. AND I MEAN EVERYONE.

How long does this last?

This will be open starting Saturday, July 8th and will close on Saturday, July 15th.

Who do I tag once I'm done, and what do I tag it as?

Tag me, @chaotic-on-main, so that I can compile everyone's stories into one masterpost as they come in.

As for the tags, please tag it as #cringelord69 (thanks @humanitys-strongest-bamf) and #23cringefest!

I don't feel good about knocking on certain things.

This isn't a question but I hear you!! I also don't want this to feel like this is a 'shitting on' contest, BECAUSE IT'S NOT. This collab is not meant to be mean, discriminatory, or judgmental. The point of this is not to make fun of characters, tropes, scenarios, ESPECIALLY WRITERS. This is literally us having fun and writing these characters in the dumbest way possible. Think of my immortal from all those years ago. YEAH. THAT MY IMMORTAL.

I'm worried about being bullied for my writing.

Again, not a question, but that's okay! So listen bud, this is the best thing about being cringy on purpose. We're out here being shitty for the sake of being shitty and anyone that makes fun of you is the dummy for not understanding the assignment.

Try not to worry about it, but if you are, please just send it to me in an anon and I will post it and link it to the masterpost. Easy peasy!

I said I'd tag those who reblogged the original post here in case you were all interested and wanted to partake!

@wyvernslovecake @humanitys-strongest-bamf @highgoon69 @roseofdarknessblog @sckerman @suukee @kingkonoha @honeylavendr @rae-does-stuff @oxygenbefore1775

don't forget guys, CRINGE CULTURE IS DEAD.

HAVE FUN WITH THIS!!

[birdmitosis]

oh, you doin' this too? (referring to the ask game) Tell me your Contra thoughts :3

[ask game here]

Ohoho, a total surprise that you would ask about the blorbo... >:3

First impression

OHHH I LOVE HIM IMMEDIATELY. FUNNY GUY MESSING WITH THE NARRATOR 💕 (Paranoid is the voice I love most, but I think Contrarian was the one I most quickly loved...)

Impression now

I still absolutely love them, honestly even more now! Unlike with Paranoid, where I was a little worried about her shtick getting old, I unexpectedly did start finding Contrarian's shtick a little old on occasion (okay, mostly in the Wild chapter going the Networked route, where I felt like Connie was messing with the tone of things a bit too much, and I was a bit more eh on them in Fury than some people seem to be though I've come around on that!). But with the full context of the Stranger versions of the endings and even seeing the Wounded Wild version of things with them... Oof, I adore them and they just completely fascinate me, that they have so much character development in this little visual novel where they're basically a side character... And I just adore jesters in all fiction and so I 1000% agree with all the Jester Contrarian people out there! Love them so much!!!!

Favorite moment

I mean, the Stranger version of the ending, honestly. Though to be more specific, I love the way that throwing the blade out the window comes back around in the Stranger ending -- especially if you choose to do it, giving Contrarian their unexpected third beat and them finding it funny that you did it even though this time they discouraged it.

Honorable mention to the little moment they have when you meet the Wounded Wild properly, though. While they discourage you from slaying her by saying it's going against what the Narrator wants, their voice just sounds so shaken that it's obvious that's a justification. Connie really doesn't like seeing the state the Wild is in and doesn't like thinking about hurting her further like this. It goes to show that he can get that Stranger ending development even if you don't go for the Stranger ending, and I love that!

(Also honorable mention to the way they deliver two of their lines in No Way Out: "Too late, because we already did it, didn't we?" and "You're not the only one who can figure out how to do things" are just such fuckin funny lines mostly on the strength of their delivery!)

Idea for a story

I NEED TO CONTINUE [Wear whatever feathers you choose.] I REALLY DO...

But okay, other ideas!

I love the possibility that I believe you brought up at one point, of Contrarian and Cold hanging out and egging each other on to do reckless shit but Cold straight-up getting hurt from it and Contrarian panicking because they hadn't wanted that and hadn't quite expected Cold to go that far.

I could also really love an exploration of how to get, or what it might be like to get, Contrarian in either version of Wraith or in Thorn... Or even a theoretical Stranger Chapter III (likely with Cheated)!

Unpopular opinion

I'm not really sure I have any, honestly! I think a lot of people have similar but different takes on Contrarian and nothing I could say is that unpopular... I guess maybe that pre-development, they were more of an asshole in-game than some people seem to think, but also less of one than others seem to think? (They did reassure Hero multiple times in the Stranger chapter, after all!)

Favorite relationship

Oh, absolutely, romance-wise ContraHero is my secondary OTP for this game! Platonically, though (...and okay in some cases romantically), I am really into Contrarian's dynamic and (potential) relationships with Broken, Cheated, Cold, Opportunist, Fury, Stranger, Thorn, Wounded Wild, and the Narrator.

Favorite headcanon

Contrarian being nonbinary is my absolute favorite thing! Some runners-up though: Human!Contrarian (or if Contrarian had to give a human name) would be Connie, Contrarian would absolutely get along great with Cold, and Contrarian would learn how to beatbox and get super good at it.

[calcitedraws]

CALCEEEEE! How's everything going? Is everything okay? I hope so!

To all the yanderes out there, how would you react if MC gave you something for Valentine's Day? (If that gift was hypothetically a rock?) and What would the yanderes give to the MC?

—✨️ (I showed up at this specific time to say... I'm Calce and Fennel first fan)

OMG HIIII I MISSED YOU! I'm studying and I'm bad at math so 👍 IDK why but when someone picks an oc of mine to be their fav out of the line up I get so happy lolol. Like yes, pick a blorbo I made them from scratch!

Fen

I think gift giving holidays are important to Fen, but it's not like you can get access to funds to get them a gift. So you go into the front garden and take an entire afternoon to search for the prettiest rock you can find. In the end, you locate a perfectly smooth rock that's a pretty slate color.

Fen would be thrilled just by the thought put into it. I think Fen is a classic Flowers and a box of chocolates plus a dinner date kind of person. Maybe a romcom and some wine after.

Gemini

I can see you handing her a chunk of rose quartz! She's definitely a witchy crystal girlie. She cries and then immediately starts sleeping with it next to her bed. She hands you an Amythest (for love and protection) and a lovely poem she wrote. She'd also want to bake and watch a movie.

August

August is happy no matter what you give him. As long as there's a little bit of thought, he's quite happy. So if you hand over the prettiest stone in your collection? He considers it a goddamn honor and puts it by his bed.

August doesn't have a lot of money, so it's probably either a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers and blasting out your back.

Mistman

Now THIS is the guy to hand a rock to. He already hands you cool rocks, so if he receives one back he'll consider it a important romantic gesture. He doesn't understand valentines, but if you stress it's importance, he'll try extra hard to find something cool if you're still in the courting stages. If you're properly settled, he'll probably give you a meal (fish) and blast out your back.

Orestis

Another rock lover! Nagas in my Canon are just basically dragons. They love shiny things and gift giving is important to courtship. So when you hand over a pretty rock, Orestis is over the moon! He'll give you a jewelry set with a orange stone to match his hair color he found that he thought would suit you. It's more of a claiming gesture, giving you a gift that marks you with him.

[penny-the-pissed-poltergeist]

Hey! Figured I'd send in an ask since you had indicated you wanted some. With the company now defunct, it seems like a good time to reflect on RWBY and examine it more closely. As such, I wanted to ask what are your top three most favourite and least favourite parts of the show? It can be a character, a specific scene, a particular detail, anything you want. More importantly, why do you like/dislike those parts respectively?

things I liked

The Yang and Weiss reunion in VOL.5

"Your MOM kidnapped me! YOU KIDNAPPED HER" is still one of the (intentionally) funnest things in the show. The hug is just really cute and beautiful, I love how the home leitmotif is playing and it's main reason both me and many other people like freezerburn. (even if there is a platonic explanation if you're not a coward)

Ruby's character post VOL. 8

You can tell she's a good character because even when the writing is really bad she's still at least KINDA compelling, I genuinely enjoy her arc in VOL.9 despite how bad it makes her team look, before they stumble at the end at least (I don't blame that on it being rushed, ascension is just that fundamentally bad of a plot point)

even in shit like the JL movies she's still one of the characters I like having on my screen the most, I'm really glad she has officially left her era of barely doing anything important in her own show. she's one of my blorbos now because I relate to the whole not liking yourself thing

The vibes and world

the world of RWBY is such a unique setting, not quite fantasy, not quite sci fi, even a tiny bit superhero. No one else in fiction who looks and fights exactly like Ruby Rose or Weiss Schee or Pyrrha Nikos. The world felt so unique especially in the OG trailers

bonus round: Penny

OH MY GOD I LOVER HER SO MUCH AUTISTIC QUEEN HXHXAJHSA (that's it that's the whole entry)

Things I really didn't like

Jaune Arc

You know all that stuff I said about how unique the setting and character's are, yeah like ignore all of that. here's a generic white guy swordsman with a regular sword and shield who's is incompetent and has no powers in first 3 volumes and only exists to make unfunny jokes and get explained at by a character who's 5x more interesting than him, he's only here because they couldn't find a way to naturally drop exposition even though they literally in a school. He might as well have dropped in here from the real world after getting hit by a truck.

Then his (almost) GF dies and he's the only one allowed to morn her except Ruby like once, and then Jaune is given so much important screen time that he feels more like the main character then Ruby ever did and becomes a bully because angst. he finally becomes a character I can enjoy in VOL.7 and most of 8, before he kills Penny and my faith in his character along with it, he immediately gets like 5 other things to get traumatized by in the ever after and gets explained OFF SCREEN so you don't even get conflict from it. god that wasn't even everything, I'll stop now.

The white fang (or Fannus in general)

You can point out literally anything to do with this subplot and it would be offensive in some way. From animal people being race allegory by itself being sketchy at best to even Blake's mom's name being a slur in some contexts. People still try do defend it even though the WRITERS THEMSELVES admitting it was bad.

I think we should just stop trying to make truly divergent species direct race allegories, it's never worked

that one "Maybe you lost some brain cells along with that arm" scene

started with a good Yang scene, ending on a bad one. Oobleck is here (YIPPY) and Port too (god damn it) and they are joking about how funny that one time they put Qrow in a dress was because man in dress funny (ugh). So Yang gets some mediocre advice and gets insulted by the "maybe you lost some brain cells along with that arm" line and finds it funny. yes disabled people are allowed to make jokes about their own disability but there's a big difference between that and able bodied writers having an able bodied character make a joke at a disabled character's expense and saying the disabled person is fine with it. maybe I should be happy that they cut down on Yang's recovery arc if we were gonna get more of this, no matter how stupid that was.

Bonus: Coco

They really based one of their few gay characters on an IRL nazi and then made her predatory and sadistic in the not fun way...