#and you have to be like dude stop it. get up. i'm not going to kill you. no i'm serious why would i do that to you.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

I am friends with a driving school instructor. And the one story he always tells his students, almost right from the get-go, is one involving himself, a student driver, an 18 wheel truck, and a licensed average driver.

It was his student's first day driving. He took her out to a small intersection outside my house literally .25 miles away where you do pass by a warehouse district with tons of 18 wheelers.

The two of them stopped at the light behind one 18-wheeler, keeping safe distance and everything. He had a brake on his side specifically in case things went wrong, wherein he could regain control if the student lost it.

But the driver in the lane next to them decided it would be fine to cut that 18 wheeler truck off from a blind spot once the light turned green.

And she did.

You know what happened?

The truck slammed on its brakes, entirely caught off guard because this idiot cut in from a blind spot, he rammed into her car since he was not ready to stop and thusly totaled it, the truck got sent flying backward, and the new driver and my instructor friend who were behind him couldn't see any of this except for the truck flying backward. So my friend slammed on the brake but this wasn't enough to stop an enormous death machine hurtling toward them, and thusly their car and themselves wound up underneath the 18 wheeler with the roof of their vehicle torn away completely, and both sandwiched beneath the truck.

They were ok. Both he and the student lived. Suffered minor injuries on both of them, but as my friend said, word for word, "The same couldn't be said for the driver in front of us." He never EVER goes into detail beyond that.

And the dude is ex-military, he understands trauma and injury and he literally had no qualms about talking about things he saw during his service.

But he never once told anyone, as far as I'm aware, the sight he saw of that licensed driver when she cut an 18 wheeler off, and caused a major accident involving her car, the truck, as well as him and his student.

My friend says he was VERY lucky. One in a million. This was like divine intervention according to him.

He outright says this is not the outcome for anyone except themselves.

DO NOT RISK CUTTING IN FRONT OF OR RIDING THE ASS OF A TRUCK!!!! OF ANY SIZE!!!!! NEVER EVER!!!!!!!

Imagine being a fool thinking you can pull this shit so you do, only to have killed a teacher and a kid in his car on the kid's first ever driving lesson. A turning point for many kids who are just about to discover freedom and independence. And that kid gets none of that and never will because you thought it was ok to pull a stupid move which took their life, and that of a father just trying to make ends meet.

And don't even mention the bus outside my other friend's house one town over, which thought it would be able to drive through the stop sign that a giant garbage truck would pass from the perpendicular road without one, thus it did not slow down, and so that bus was struck and went flying, and a little girl was killed.

The funeral was held by a religious family in my neighborhood just at the end of my small street. My mother attended because she served that girl lunch each day for the few years she was alive and in elementary school.

Think about that.

A bus. A giant, full-sized school bus. Thought it could go faster than a garbage truck, and drove through a stop sign whereas the garbage truck had none, and as a result that bus was ploughed into and killed a little girl no older than 11.

A school bus held no ground against a truck.

Your car stands no chance.

Don't. Be. A. Fucking. Idiot.

Gods above just respect truck drivers on the road.

A PSA about trucks from a truck driver

I and some colleagues were talking about how we wish everyone could see the safety videos that our company was showing us, because I don’t think most people understand how traffic works in a truck. So here’s some things we wish everyone on the road knew.

- we’re not kidding about tailgating. If you’re right behind us on a straight highway? Chances are we have NO IDEA you’re there, which means we can’t anticipate any of your movements. Plus slowing down takes multiple downshifts, so we might start decreasing speed way earlier than you expect.

- We’re not kidding about any of our blind spots. WE CAN’T SEE YOU, GUYS.

- That bit about slowing down taking a while? The same goes for when you’re in front of us. Don’t cut off a truck. Oh god, PLEASE don’t cut off a truck. If you cut me off, I’m not irritated, I’m terrified. For YOU. It can take 7 to 9 seconds for us to stop. DON’T CUT OFF TRUCKS.

- Before you get mad about how slow we’re going on the highway, keep in mind that many companies govern their vehicles so they literally CAN’T go over 60 or 65. This is a good thing, I promise. Because…

- Do you know what happens when a car meets a truck in an accident? The car gets totaled and the truck needs a new coat of paint. You will not win this fight. I know nobody likes getting stuck behind a big dumb truck, but it’s not worth your life.

We are trying our best to protect you from our 80,000 pound death machines. Please help us out.

[syn0vial]

okay, so i've mentioned before how boba isn't above using wordplay/intentionally ambiguous wording/verbal loopholes to get out of rules or agreements he doesn't like while maintaining a front of ~*being true to his word*~. i believe the phrase i used was, "like some fucked up fae creature."

HOWEVER, after a review of additional expanded universe materials, i have come to the delighted realization that he has truly been doing this shit non-stop since he was a child. it's literally like,

"dad says i'm supposed to feed these feeder mice to this eel while he's gone, but TECHNICALLY, the words he used were, 'we'll be back when these are gone,' which doesn't necessarily mean dead. ALSO he's said that "patterns are traps," and killing a mouse each day would be a pattern, so if i let some of them go instead, then TECHNICALLY, i'm just following his advice :)" and "dad said i need to be in this apartment when he gets back, which TECHNICALLY means he said i could sneak out as long as i'm fast enough to get back before he does :)"

which leads to

"jabba said he wants me to destroy every last member of this smuggling ring despite the fact that the majority of them are enslaved children but i only promised to 'deal with' them, so if i kill their master and send them away, i've still technically destroyed the entire gang and 'dealt with' the members :)"

which leads to

"the hutts are only paying me to kill this dude and deliver them a grisly video of his death, but they didn't say i couldn't do a bunch of extra stuff like torch his merchandise afterwards, just that i wouldn't be paid for it :)"

which leads to

"it would technically be a breach of code for me to kill these guys unrelated to an active bounty, even though i really want to and it would be necessary to save the life of a third party, but oh would you look at that, said third party happened to find three credits in his pocket, and as long as i verbally agree to said fee, this is now an ongoing bounty, and i can kill with impunity :D"

which leads to

"based on your promise, i hereby verbally agree to backstab my entire galaxy and help deliver it to the yuuzhan vong for purging and enslavement (but since i know your promise is a lie, my promise "based on" it is also a lie and i'm actually going to secretly go behind your back and do the opposite :)"

basically, if you're gonna hire boba fett for something specific, you better have outlined at MINIMUM a 12-page document outlining exactly what he can and cannot do, or he WILL just fuck off and do whatever the hell he wants

[househrt]

Can I please hear your trans Wilson headcanons

YES literally always (and yes these may contradict each other but there are infinite universes full of an infinite number of trans Wilsons)

he didn't go to med school solely to get a gender neutral title, but it definitely helped him make the decision (because we know this man usually doesn't know what tf he wants in life)

maybe he also wanted to study medicine to stop him from being scared of T injections, because he started out on gel but it got too inconvenient to have to apply every day and he got too paranoid about making sure he didn't touch anyone before 6 hours (yes I'm projecting for the second half of that lol)

I'd need an entire fic to flesh out this idea more but there could be something interesting in Wilson feeling guilty for transitioning after he lost contact with Danny, because now he's worried that Danny might not recognise him if they crossed paths again (this genuinely puts off his medical transition for a While, but he eventually does it anyway)

when he met House, he introduced himself with his surname because he hadn't chosen a new first name yet, and House noticed (because of course he would) but he didn't say anything about it (yet)

he's still in the habit of pitching his voice lower even though he's been on testosterone for ages, which is why he sometimes gets that theatre kid line delivery accent

dysphoria is part of the reason he wears too-big clothes in later seasons, to hide what his brain keeps calling curves but is actually just normal weight gain for a dude his age

I love the messy path of him identifying as a lesbian pre-transition, then as a straight trans man, and then a trans man dealing with so much comphet because he's actually just gay

I like to think he learns about non-binary people in the later seasons and it resonates with him enough to add a they to his pronouns (he/they Wilson I am crushing you up and putting you in a jar to carry around with me)

or, trans Wilson who doesn't realise until he's in his 30s/40s and is disgusted (dysphoric) at the idea of being House's girlfriend, so he's convinced himself he's not into men, but then he transitions and realises being House's boyfriend solves all his problems (except not actually because this man has so many problems)

he feels guilty about transitioning after he becomes the head of oncology because he thinks it makes the hospital look good to have more women department heads (House and Cuddy independently think this is the stupidest thing he's ever said. House's main argument is that trans department heads earn way more diversity points)

he doesn't know if House knows he's trans or not, but he's still keeping it a secret so he can bring it up to win an argument or bet at some point

he used the equivalent of trans tape to bind all the time even though he's mildly allergic to the adhesive and it left him with scars from where it always blistered and tore his skin (no I'm not projecting shhhh)

I always think of @defibrillism when I think about this but transmasc Wilson/transmasc Amber is also very special to me and you should check out his transmasc Amber tag for that very good content if you vibe with it

[wukyma]

I'm very curious about your Posepoli AU if you are OK with sharing facts about it ? Maybe what you have in mind? Or what Poseidon have in mind withvhis proposition 🤔 I can't only imagine the crew reaction

Also I'm in absolute love with your art ! The way you color? Your Odysseus ? Incredible. Make me think about fairy tales book illustrations you know ? And don't let go on your design of Poseidon ? He look so cold and distanced, it's actually genius!

Oh, thank you so much 💖 It means a lot! I loved illustrated fairytales as a kid and had a similar book of Greek myths, so that's probably where the style comes from, hehe

As for the AU... I lied shamelessly in the other post and speedran through coloring the panels and imma show y'all everything today!

If you haven't seen the previous one go check it out first

SO, Polites lives. But now he has to cope with the consequences of their recklessness,,

⬇️⬇️⬇️ cut because yapping again

The wind bag gets opened, and they're faced with Poseidon seeking revenge,,

Odysseus' apology isn't accepted (who even apologizes like that??), but Poseidon doesn't get to strike him —

Polites steps in and asks for them to be spared.

The god almost laughs in his face because that's an utterly ridiculous attempt, but decides that there's no harm in amusing himself a bit. Yet, no matter what Poseidon thinks about the man and how much he despises his ideals,, Polites is very different from most mortals he met, with his unshakeable belief in a better world (that realization happens much later in the plot, at the moment he's just pissed off)

So, yeah. Poseidon gives them a challenge: if they find another way around the storm, continue their journey without harming or killing (as per Poli's ideology), and get home, he will spare everyone, even Odysseus. The one who's formally "responsible" for holding up their end of the deal is still Polites, and he gets a kind of seal/tattoo as proof that neither side will go against the terms (yay ✨️aesthetics ✨️)

Forgot to mention: the whole crew is alive — 600 men making their way to Ithaca!

Next stop would be Circe's island,,, guess who will become besties? Ehehwhe

Things I believe are important to mention:

Poseidon REALLY doesn't like Polites in this AU (well,, for now) and wants to see him fail, then drown the fleet and be done with it

His main motivation here wouldn't be to avenge Polyphemus, but to prove that Polites is wrong (same as with Odysseus, but more intense)

Get ready for tons of mockery in the next part ( ；∀；)

I headcanon (not just in this AU but in general) that Polites, Perimedes, and Elpenor are also very close friends!

Odysseus is oblivious about Poli's feelings towards him (dude is mole-blind when it comes to that), but Eurylochus knows

Umm, so that's it for now! See y'all next time, because telling things without throwing pictures in seems meh... However, that's up to you, too. I can continue as it is and draw the scenes you'd like to see and/or choose later :3 Just write how u think would be more okayish i guess??

Bonus thing: congrats on reading till the end lol. there is one inconsistency in the comic above. at the sketch stage I flipped 3 of these panels, and they don't match with the other ones (seen in the details) first one to guess (say the nr order, idc) gets to request ANYTHING epic‐related from me :D

[gallusgalluss]

please unleash your inspekta thoughts

your art is amazing i cant stop looking at it

i hope you have a happy new year!!

happy new year anon n thank you :]!!!!

also ur so evil ur letting me unleash my Inspekta thoughts,,,,how cruel how cruel

im going full yapper mode + there's spoilers so Watch Out

I like Inspekta, he's a little freak and a really interesting character to think about. While, for me, the twist with him wasn't totally a surprise (I did Not trust his cuteness the second i saw him lmao), I REALLY liked the way his character progressed throughout the game. He's your buddy! He's your pal! Don't worry about all these posters and weird plushies and standees and propaganda of him everywhere and how he keeps being called “the one and only god”, it's Fine it's Fine! He's sillay :D!!!

I'm generally just obsessed with characters who are put into leadership positions who absolutely Should Not have that amount of power over people, and I think Inspekta's a perfect example of that type of thing for me.

He had his own fears, loneliness, and jealousy cloud his judgment and that resulted in some Really Fucked Up Stuff. As a mortal he wanted to be special in the eyes of the public, so he gained enough popularity to get elected to be a god! Yay! But now he's scared of being forgotten and there's a new possible god being elected, wuh oh! Time to ruin Literally Everything because what's the easiest way to be remembered, worshiped, and loved by all if there's no more competition for your rule? Empty heavens, baby!!! Let's bring in an apocalypse!!! Yay!!!!!

Bro's fucked up and I like that.

I love how despite it all he still tries this whole Cute Buddy Friend act, even at the end with this Worm Form. Cause he KNOWS the other gods would trust and believe him and the lies he's spread about King's shocking letters, cause why wouldn't they? He's just a silly lil cutie pie! They all trust him! He's the God of Leadership! How could a Leader lead others astray? And he knows the Bizzyboys will follow him as well since he's been leading them pre-godhood for several years. He's a role model to them all, starting from nothing and now he's a god! He's just so trustworthy and sweet and will totally save the day!

Also I just wanted to include this somewhere. I really like this section (after Chapter 3, I think???)

He has this brief moment of vulnerability/sincerity/something that made him drop his “Cutesy Voice”. Like aside from this scene, near the end of chapter 5, and i Think a few parts i'm 100% forgetting, I don't think we actually see this more contemplative n genuine side of Inspekta.

He does instantly goes into gloating about himself and how he's Clearly the MOST IMPORTANT GOD OF ALL (before correcting himself to include the other gods, of course, of course).

Like if he didn't have that Ego-the-size-of-the-galaxy + Saddest Scaredest Loneliest Most Jealous Withdrawn Loser combo, all he had to do was to just Talk To People. He could've Talked to people about his Fears and Insecurities. Even the other gods; after all he's done, were still there for him! Like “Hey dude this is fucked up, we all already love you dummy, you can talk to us ya know you're allowed to feel scared!”

He's just the cutest most moe creature with soooo many issues and problems he needed to figure out.

NOW WITH HECTOR

Most of my Inspekta Thoughts can just be applied to him but slightly modified. I think it's interesting how he chose to go back to being a regular person, it makes sense cause he's like Aware of the amount of damage he's done/could've done. While he certainly won't be forgotten after Everything he's done, he isn't going to be as Grand and Powerful as he wished to be.

He's just a guy in his 50s who's trying to get over his God Complex of 33 years and also attempt to gain back the trust and respect of the Grove’s people. He's definitely going to be bearing the weight of what he's done for the rest of his life probably, but it IS interesting thinking about what he'd do to actually improve himself now, learn how to be a person again n such.

He’s also a sad miserable booboo beast of a man and i think him suffering in anguish is awesome!!!!!!! yay!!!!

This turned into more a character analysis of some sorts instead of solely my own personal thoughts, whoops. Anyways i think his designs, all 3 of em are really fun to draw. He's cute n stretchy and marketable, as all gods should be.

so ya basically inspekta/hector sucks, i hate him, and we should kill him with hammers. now. thank you 💖💖💖

[velvetvexations]

My commentary on the whole "if dipper is transmasc mable is a terf" thing is that dipper and Mabel are 12 years old and exist in a cartoon set in 2012. Mable does not know what a terf is. Mabel is 12 years old, 12 year Olds can't be terfs. If her actions persisted into adulthood yeah she'd be transphobic but she is a cartoon character who can never age. I don't look at a real life 12 year old saying transphobic things and think they're a terf, because that's stupid. I'm sure if this character could have the intricacies of transphobia explained to her she'd understand her actions were wrong, but she can't, because she's a twelve year old from a cartoon that stopped airing in 2016.

the anon who pointed out it's exactly the same with Chihiro is so gigabrained

cannot get over how much some transfems get mad at transmascs for doing the same shit transfems do. "transmascs are obsessed with headcanoning characters as transmasc even when it makes no sense" coming from the "estrogen would save her" crowd is, maddening

well thanks to epistemological standpoint trans women will always have a deeper and more complex relationship to gender

Its literally nauseating and disgusting listening to - say that trans mascs don't face the same rate of SA as trans fems or that we're lying about the statistics of the violence against us

I know anon <3

whats really funny about the whole "mabel would be transphobic" thing is that she would be transphobic regardless. saying that someone isn't a man cuz they're too girly is transphobic. like just straight up. it's not like. the worst form of transphobia ever. but it's like how telling a guy that he throws like a girl is still sexist regardless. and you know what? mabel is 12. she's a child. so what if she's a little bit mean? the whole thing is just so stupid because it's trying to make a headcanon thats relatively completely innocent seem problematic. and idk if i really want that sort of precedent to be set around trans headcanons. anyways i hope ur having a good day ^^

I keep saying this but it's wild how the "trans men are so comfortable with being girls and calling themselves girls" crowd is dogmatic that a twelve year old girl misgendering a twelve year old trans boy is committing the worst possible crime against him.

- i'm sorry but is this person implying that in order to not be discriminated against trans men should stop being men or is it something out of my fucked-up head?

Unintentionally, yes.

Idk if you saw the Twitter blahaj drama but like, some trf’s loose their minds if trans men also like a stuffed animal but god fucking forbid we also have transmasc headcanons like idk it’s always the same people doing this shit too at this point I think they just hate any other kind of trans person and just post-hoc rationalize it whenever there’s a “”tme”” being happy

Correct! And then transmasc TRFs are like "so true queen, don't these sissies know that being a man is all about suffering."

Potentially hot take but if you really REALLY can't find a trans actor to play your trans character I would VASTLY prefer a cis actor of the character's actual gender not their ASAB. "But anon, what if they're early transition?" Plenty of cis people are clocky, that's a very common pushback against TERF bullshit; that they're applying such a narrow standard of gender presentation that even cis people get caught up in it. Makeup exists. Prosthetics exist. Good actors who can make you believe they're fucking trans exist.

Yeah! Just look at the fantastic job Demi Bennett does playing Rhea Ripley!

'transandro dudes are stupid cause they say androphobia is bad but they're too scared to go up to the buffest gym dude and ask for his testosterone supply' are you stupid on purpose. it's not because he's a man it's because he's cis and a lot of cis people are SO down to beat up anyone they suspect might be a trans person. and a pre t trans dude asking for testosterone when the gym guy perceives said trans dude as a woman is DEFINITELY gonna get clocked and then be at risk of getting injured. can we please bring back thinking with our brains

transmasc and transfem TRFs are both so desperate to see themselves as having places in society identical to cis men and cis women and it's not going to fucking work out any time soon

Now personally I adore all the aesthetic posts and they give me a ton of material for my technology tag sooo thank you 4 reblogging so many dope gifs ^^

Thank you!

Maybe one day a week where the only messages people are allowed to send are fawning/simping/lusting after you idk lmao

that IS half my inbox already lol

weird thing but as a kid i was labeled tomboy so often i would consider my gender as a kid to BE tomboy. but when i decided to start being just a boy (trans boy) instead everyone acted like it was something out of left field and that there was "no proof" that i was trans (keep in mind this is like 2014-ish. i am still 99.9% sure i was the first ever person to come out as not cis at my school). like... what the hell do you mean "no proof"?? you literally spent my childhood calling me a tomboy and, after my sister started walking and talking, pointing out how much of a girly girl i WASNT compared to her.

the idea of cis people wanting "proof" is so weird

i like ur aesthetic posts tho, they make me happy also why tf r they complaining about aesthetic posts on tumblr of all places lol

literallyyyyy

Now personally I adore all the aesthetic posts and they give me a ton of material for my technology tag sooo thank you 4 reblogging so many dope gifs ^^

You're welcome!

[msfandomsblog]

Vox x FEM! reader one-shot. "I didn't mean it"

Ok sooo, this inspired by the fact my best friend said that she wasn't sure we were still friends while staying at my house.

We made up but what she said I told her what she said wasn't okay at all and she replied with 'i didn't mean it' so I decided to cheer myself up with a fluff fic.

Enjoy!

a/n and warnings: established relationship, use of y/n, shouting/yelling, Vox (dude needs his own warning), harsh words/cursing, crying.

Dividers by: @sister-lucifer thanks so much!

"I just don't understand why you don't ask for help!" You reasoned loudly as Vox turned his back on you.

"And who do you expect me to ask y/n huh?! Val!? Velvette!?" He laughed at their names. "Like they'd give a fuck!" He shouted.

"What about me!? You hardly ever see me as an option to anything!! I'm your best friend! And more then that...... I'm your girlfriend." you said saying that last part softly.

"You wanna know the reason I don't tell people my problems y/n? Because no one can solve them!!! Not even you." He said facing you.

"I'm not powerless, if you would just tell me what's wrong-" Vox cut you off sharply his voice glitching in and out.

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! I'VE NEVER NEEDED YOUR HELP! I WILL NEVER NEED YOUR HELP!!"

He took a slight step forward.

"Vox I-"

"I DON'T KEEP YOU AROUND FOR YOUR HELP!! AND AS FOR BEING MY FRIEND, WHO WOULD BE FRIENDS WITH YOU IF NOT FOR ME!?

You closed your mouth.

"I see.........well...... sorry to be a burden." You used a simple spell to teleport to the outside of the Vees Tower.

It was a hot second before Vox even realized what he said.

"SHIT!" He bolted to his computer to check every camera he had, he couldn't lose you, not now, please not now. Red pixel drool was coming down his mouth. and Tears streamed off down his face. How could he have said that to you!?

He looked everywhere but he couldn't find you. How!? he had cameras everywhere how could you-.

He stopped.

What had he done?

You knew exactly how to avoid his cameras.

It would only be by him going and searching for you that he ever saw you again.

And by what he'd said, there would be know way in hell that you'd ever want to see him again.

You used your magic to fool Vox's cameras while you wandered the streets of the Vees territory. Being an overlord yourself meant that everyone around you left you alone.

good.

You wanted to be alone.

He said that, he really said that. The words seemed to echo in your head. "I don't need you, who would want to be your friend?" You were always there for him......... you loved him, and he said that.

You'd been friends from the get go, but he said that.

He said that.

It was too much.

You'd never been one for crying even when you were upset.

But it was all too much.

You teleported to a small area that was hidden away from everyone and as you sat down at a small bench you let your tears flow silently.

Vox practically sprinted through every camera to get closer to you.

He repeated the same word in his head over and over

"Please, please, please"

When he'd gotten to the end of where his cameras were he dashed to a spot only him and you knew about. and as he had guessed there you were on your bench.

Your tears had stopped, you sat rigidly still, your back pressed up against the back of the bench.

"You just gonna stand there?" you said blankly.

Vox slowly made his way nest to you.

"Y/n I'm-"

"sorry?" you half scoffed.

"Yeah, I could tell." you said not looking at him.

"I am! I-I, I didn't mean it!"

You chuckled. "Didn't mean it Vox? THEN WHY DID YOU SAY IT!?" You shouted turning towards him.

"If you're so sorry, and you didn't mean it then why are we even here!?" You said standing up.

"Lets just go back to the tower where its all cupcakes and rainbows!!" you said raising your arms in the air.

"y/n listen please-"

"No Vox, you listen. I'm tired of you shutting me out and throwing away our friendship and ha, relationship, just for me to forgive you because you're sorry or didn't mean it" You said adding a mocking tone to a few words.

You stood there, back towards him.

"You're right." he said after a pause.

"You're always right, I've been a terrible friend and partner. and no apology will ever fix that.......but please, I've never wanted someone to be in my life then you. 'Sorry' is not enough to make you feel better and I know that. I'm asking for forgiveness, but I also promise to pay more attention to what I say and what I do, because I don't want to hurt you anymore." He said tears falling down his face as he stood up.

You turned to look at him but said nothing.

"I hate fighting with the person I love most in this world." He said giving a sad smile.

"I know you can't take it back..... but..... I'm willing to try again." You gave him a smile.

"Thats all I ask." he said giving a his hand to you.

You took it.

Your relationship was never the same,

It was better.

OKKKKKK first things first, half of Vox's apology was from a pin on Pinterest by this person they're quotes are amazing!

Second this is my first time writing for vox so I gave him a softer edge for multiple reasons. One of them being he's known the reader a longggggg time.

sorry that this was short I haven't made long one-shots in a while so I usually make them short and sweet!

Hope you enjoyed and see you at the next one!!

[elliebean714]

Until Dawn Character Reactions

How You Met The Boys (Middle School) (GN!Reader)

Fluff

An~Kay so I'm not American, but I looked it up, and in Canada (where ud is set) middle school is from 12-15. Just so my fellow international girlypawps are aware lol. let me know if you're interested in one for the girls. This is funnn I like these silly lil dudes. Okay... do I have a thing for acedemic rivals to friends/lovers??? Well yes. Well yes indeed. Mike's is explicitly romantic whereas the rest are all up to you. Sorryyy I just got into it :( I like down bad Mike. Sue me.

Josh Washington

You're sat in the principals office with your dad behind you and the boy you punched sitting in the chair beside you, his dad behind him.

"Mx L/N. Want to explain to Mr. Washington why we're here?" The principal asks expectantly

You sigh "He kept making fun of Jessica Riley's acne. I told him to stop or I'd punch him. He didn't, so I punched him."

Your dad clears his throat awkwardly, looking to the boy's father "I'm very sorry for their behaviour, it won't hap-"

"I'm not." You interrupt

Everybody in the room looks at you like you punched him again

"I told him to stop making fun of her or I'd punch him. He was totally warned, and still chose to do it. He knew what was coming. It's out of my hands at that point. He's just an idiot." You shrug

Your dad begins to scold you, his dad starts speaking very harshly about you to the principal, and he continues to stare, a tiny smile grows on his face

"I mean, yeah. They're right." The boy cuts through the static noise of adult chatter "I was being a jerk and they were sticking up for their friend."

His dad looks appalled, like admiting you were a prick is something completely foreign to him "Joshua, don't apologise to this brat. They punched you so hard you lost a tooth!"

"Hey, no need to start calling my kid names like that. Your kid started it, and he seems sorry. Y/N? Anything you want to say?" Your dad defends you, and Josh, seemingly

You roll your eyes "I'm sorry your dad is a bigger jerk than you."

Josh laughs, he has a really nice laugh, maybe he's not so bad now? Maybe you punched his head on right. His father doesn't feel the same, clearly. He continues to yell at the principal and your dad

Eventually you're forced to reluctantly apologise so everyone can finally go.

As soon as you're alone with your dad, he gives you a high five "good job for sticking up for your friend. And for standing your ground in there. But maybe try to not to resort straight to violence next time." He laughs, ruffling your hair playfully

The next day at recess, Josh apologises to Jess. And at lunch, he found you.

And he just never left

Chris Hartley

Maybe randomised partners for group projects is supposed to build teamworking skills, but that's only if you're not constantly trying to one up your partner.

Which is exactly what happened when your science teacher paired you with Chris.

He expected to have to do all the work while you goofed off, but you actually trying may have been worse.

You kept getting in the way of his ideas, even more infuriatingly, your suggestions were good, really good.

Eventually you both got sick of the bickering and decided to work on separate projects and you'd pick whichever one was best to present.

And the war began

He found professional sites and articles to pull facts and evidence from?

You conducted your own experiments and came to your own findings.

You spent hours on making your presentation as eye catching as possible?

He creates physical models for other students to see exactly whatever he's explaining is doing.

The fighting only gets worse- and by the time you guys have to pick to better project, it's nearly impossible to have any sort of productive conversation

You're sat on his bedroom floor, rolling your eyes during his entire mock presentation

Once he finishes, he smiles, expecting you to erupt into applause

"Boring. Bad. Didn't like it. Let's see mine. My amazing presentation that'll have you utterly amazed." You stand, and begin your presentation, ignoring his complete lack of interest.

Yeah... still, neither of you can agree on anything. So you decide, you'll do both and let the teacher choose.

Which also doesn't go well

He asks you both to stay back after class...

"Okay, well, you guys learned nothing about teamwork, but those were some of the most incredible presentations I've ever had kids your age give," he starts, you roll your eyes

"And I think, once you accept that you're both smart, and that you don't need to be rivals, you two could be an amazing team. Id be very curious to see what you're capable of. Maybe even at the science fair in a few months...?"

You scoff "Absolutely not. I'm never talking to him again"

"Yeah, politely, Y/N has been a complete and utter nightmare."

...

You both won every science fair since then.

Matt Taylor

Football guys were all jerks!

Gym class is the worst for EVERY reason, but those stupid guys who thought everybody was lucky to be near them were the worst of the worst.

All of them were the same. They played wayy too hard, took everything wayy too seriously, and had, basically no empathy for others.

And the teachers would let them get away with everything!

So when forced to play dodge ball, one of those football dicks through the ball way to hard and injured you

HE got in no trouble, but you got NO help! You just had to sit on the bench and get over it??? So unfair!

You were nursing your injury, in a obviously bad mood, when you noticed him staring at you. He seemed like he felt bad, but thats impossible, he's just like everyone else. You rolled your eyes

After the game finished, he snuck over to you

"Hey, im- I'm so sorry for that, uh... hit?" He awkwardly apologised

You gave him a dirty look "whatever, why do you care?"

"Because I hurt you, it was totally an accident, sometimes I get into 'football brain' during regular gym class and I put too much power info my throws and I hurt people... and I'm really sorry."

Your jaw drops a tiny bit... he's sorry???

"Uh... I... okay? I understand...?" You stammered, utterly perplexed

The guy seemed concerned "Are you okay? You look like I just grew a second head"

"No, no... just- why are you apologising??" You asked

"Because I hurt you?" He repeated "have you never apologised before??"

You were a little offended by the question "I have, obviously! But all you football guys are jerks, you annoy, bother, and hurt everybody, but never apologise. Why are you doing that?"

"Jeez! I- I'm nothing like those guys, we just play the same sport. I swear. Please don't think of me like that" He was hurt by your assumption

"Sorry, I was wrong." You sighed

He properly introduced himself, Matt. And the more you talked, the more you realised just how wrong you really were. The guy was an absolute sweetheart, little bit dumb sometimes, but a really good dude.

Okay... so maybe most of those football guys were jerks.

Mike Munroe

Mike was a shoo-in for class president

There was no reason to even try

He's funny, smart, likeable, everybody who meets him is utterly charmed

Until... you?

You're smart, likable, funny... and you seem to actually care about helping people...? damn

Well, he does love a challenge, and finally having a worthy opponent

You have the smarts, the genuine passion, the desire to improve your classmates lives, but he has the social intelligence, the charm, the persuasion

Intelligence vs persuasion, passion vs charisma, the desire to help people vs the desire for power

It's annoying when he realises you're genuinely the better person, so he has to resort to bad mouthing you.

Mike expects you to crack under the pressure, but you keep your cool, and navigate his accusations and rumours with grace

Your posters are informative and well put together, clearly preferring substance over flash, Mike's are eye catching and intriguing, but there's nothing beneath the surface

It all comes to a head at the debate. Mike was so fucking sure he had it in the bag

He sees you, sanding opposite him, a confident smile, great posture, answering every question thoughtfully

You're talking about something you'd change about the school, everyone is hanging on your every word and Mike feels that same magnetic pull

He notices that sparkle in your eye, that smile, the joy you feel trying to make a difference...

Oh- shit-

He likes you. A lot...

You have a charm, it's not just how pretty you are, it's genuine charm. You're so sweet, you're so- shit- he has a thing for you. He has a fucking crush on his opponent.

Mike has absolutely no idea what to do! He's never liked anyone before, they just like him and he goes along with it but-

You're looking at him... your sparkling eyes....

"-Mr Munroe?" He's whipped back to the auditorium, he's on stage- whole lot of people staring at him... shit- what was the question??

He blushes- "Uh..." wait- he looks down, you're sliding a note into his hand- you're so warm...

Opening the note reveals the question he was asked- Oh thank fuck. He answers it with a shaky voice, his mind still on your eyes, your warmth, your smile.

You helped him... you could've let him embarrass himself but- you helped him... shit- shit- he's so into you... look at you!

Afterwards, he sits in an empty class during lunch, still reeling from the revelation, how long has he had a thing for you??

When he started staring at you in class? He thought he was studying his opponent but...

Was it when he started getting upset when you spoke to other guys? He thought he was mad you were smoozing voters, but.... was he jealous?

Was MICHAEL MUNROE JEALOUS??

This isn't making sense, none of this makes sense, Mike is the charming one. Mike is the one everyone likes. Why does he feel like this??

You won the election obviously, and you're the best class president.

He's a good loser, for once he's actually glad he lost. Your utter joy when you realised you won? Fuckk- you're making it impossible to not fall harder for you.

You came to him after the win... he was the first one you went to...

He shook your hand, he shared your smile and stared into your sparkling eyes, he adored that sparkle...

♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

~Elliebean714

[sunnyie-eve]

51 | Chicago

Series: Unexpected

Paring: Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

"On our way to Chicago for Summer Smash. Pullin an all nighter. Haven't slept in like 30hrs or something. But we're locked in." Chris explains as they wait for their flight.

"I'm fading." Dani says exhausted.

"You hear that?" Matt asks Chris, "Chicago, if you're boarding go to gate 58. Or am I tripping balls?"

"Don't ask me shit because I'm not here right now." Dani cuddles her extra jacket exhausted.

When the three board their plane, Dani had the window seat while Matt had the middle and Chris had the aisle seat. It didn't take Chris long at all to fall asleep while Matt and Dani stay up for a few minutes.

"Why couldn't you take the middle? You're small."

"Because I wanted the window and you love me so I get what I want." She gives him a smile.

"Don't give me that smile, tator tot."

Dani smiles bigger, "You haven't called me that in forever." She grabs a hold of his hand, "Love you."

"Love you too." He gives her hand a squeeze.

The day of Summer Smash, while Dani was about finished getting ready, Chris sees her, "No ma'am. You are not wearing that."

Dani looks down at herself, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?! Matt!" Chris calls him so he comes and sees Dani.

"Oh no. You better have a backup outfit." He tells her

"Again, what's wrong?" She asks them. "Do you want to draw the attention of every dude there or hell any girls?" Matt crosses his arms.

She was dressed in a blue jean mini skirt with a cute lase trim and two little bows. Her shirt was lacey material that was tied in the front showing off her stomach.

"Someone could walk by and just pull that string and show everyone you boobs. Because it's clear you don't have a bra on." Chris adds, "So plan B." Chris leaves the room.

Matt walks over to grabbing her face to look up at him, "You look amazing, you do, trust me but I want you to be safe. You can't trust some people. Keep the skirt but a different top please. To be on the safe side."

"I hate that you are so caring at times." Dani rolls her eyes before giving him a quick kiss.

"But you love me because I'm caring." He starts to leave. "Oh, but I wouldn't mind you wearing that top at times at home." He gives her a wink leaving her to change.

At Summer Smash while they start to vlog, Dani  points the camera at herself, "Y'all I didn't get to wear what I wanted to wear because of the guys." Dani tells viewers as the walk around Summer Smash. "Danielle, you are no leaving in that." She mocks what they told her.

"You're ridiculous to think that we would let you leave the hotel wearing that outfit." Chris tells her.

The next morning Chris plays music loudly going to wake up Matt and Dani. Dani picks her head up looking over at Chris filming the whole thing. "Dude, are you fucking serious right now?" She asks, "I'm barely even awake right now."

"Tome to get up." He film Matt, "How are you? Bro get the fuck up. Open your eyes."Chris goes to touch him so Matt puts the blanket over his head. "You both are such babies."

"Christopher." Dani picks her head back up to give him a look.

When the two finally get out of bed to get ready, Chris was still filming everything, "You're on kid." Chris shows Matt topless putting on his belt.

"You started vlogging and I wasn't dressed yet."

"I'm about to zoom in on Matt's nipple." Chris zooms in on Matt.

"Bro, get the fuck out of here, like dead serious." Matt covers his chest with one arm.

"Kid, put a shirt on."

"I told you to stop, wait a second." Matt tells him.

"Alright, wait for big baby to get dressed."

"Big baby?" Matt laughs, "You wanna see big baby's nipples, that's crazy."

"Zoooommm." Chris zooms in on her so she tells him no.

"Can you not?" She asks him, "Plus, I don't have a damn bra on and you're coming in on me as well. And I have on my sleeping shorts."

"We are body positive on here. No rude comments on bodies of any kind." Matt adds for viewers.

~

"Who I'm with, it's Nick, on the phone." Chris sings showing Nick on FaceTime. "Matt hitting the dance. Whoa, whoa, whoa, get it." Chris shows Matt before talking to Nick, "But we're going great."

"That's good and you haven't lost Dani yet?" Nick jokes around.

"We keep her on a leash when walking." Chris jokes as well.

"Where is Dani?"

"Right here." Chris turns to show Dani coming out of the bathroom in her towel.

"Dude, I just got out of the shower. I forgot to get clothes. First you film Matt shirtless then me in this." She grabs her clothes before going back into the bathroom.

"Stop filming the two when they are barely dressed." Nick tells Chris.

"But people want to see."

When the three get back home the boys wanted to

Chris was hyping Matt up as Dani films for them, "Come on, Matt." Dani sighs, "You're giving nothing."

"Yas!" Chris tries to get him in the mood.

"What are you doing?"

"Give us a pose." Nick tells him so Matt gives a bland pose.

"Yeah, no that's not it babe." Dani tells him, "Give like an edit move." She tries to help.

"He's gonna punch the camera." Chris whispers into the camera.

"You look nervous to be here." Nick tells him.

"I don't-, What am I doing?" Matt asks the three.

"Be you, Matt. Let yourself be free." Dani tells him so he acts like himself throwing punches at the camera, "There we go!" She cheers and next up was Chris, "Walk at me. 3, 2, 1."

"Yes, yes, yes!" Nick loves it.

"You get it, you get it." Dani loved it too, "I'm gonna stay here this time. 3, 2, 1." Dani counts down and Chris looks for his zipper.

"Oh, I don't have a zipper. I was gonna go like this and go." Chris shows what he was gonna do with the donut.

"CHRIS NO!" Dani yells at him, "You're done." She makes him laugh.

When it was Nick's turn he needed no coaching whatsoever. He was the best and had fun with it. "A ball dropping Matt has entered the villa." Chris says as Dani films Matt sitting around.

"Ball dropping?" Matt repeats.

"Yeah,"

"I would've worded it like, a brand new bomb shell dropped." Dani rewords it, "Matt's the bomb. Aren't you Matty?" She gets closer to him.

"I'm not."

"Umm yes." She disagrees with him.

"We're some bros looking for some hoes." Chris says making Nick and Dani says it's terrible. "I'm looking for a girl in the villa. To buy some Let's Trip merch." Chris says instead.

Matt sighs, "Umm, we have merch drop tomorrow, 4th of July. Celebrate the fireworks not only in your wallet... I mean, not only, not only in the sky." He laughs at himself.

"Fireworks are gonna go off in your wallet." Nick laughs.

"Is that Dani's?" Matt asks Chris about the drink he was opening so Chris looks at her.

"It's ours."

"It's mine." She corrects him.

"What's yours is mine. What's mine is ours."

"It belongs to meeee." Dani sings in You Belong With Me tune making him laugh at her, "You belong with me." She then sings the song so they all laugh at her.

"Freak." Chris laughs so she shoves him playfully while Matt laughs at the two of them. "What was your favorite part of Chicago?" Chris asks Matt.

"Umm, Potbelly." Matt takes his time answering.

"Answer faster!" Dani shouts at him startling him and Chris.

"Holy shit." Chris puts his hand over his chest.

"Sorry." Dani apologizes.

"Potbelly Sandwiches!" Matt says fast.

"Tell..." Chris starts but is cut off by Nick.

"You guys went to Potbelly's!" He shouts so they tell him yes and he yells in response.

"Like three times." Chris tells him which makes Nick jealous.

"Potbelly Sandwiches..." Was all Matt says making Chris laugh at him.

"Interrogation." Chris films for Nick's turn.

"GET UP AGAINST THE WALL!" Matt yells startling Nick, who does what he said.

"That was top ten loudest Matt clips." Chris tells him.

"Who's thong was that under your bed?" Matt asks.

"What?!" Nick shouts surprised by that.

Chris starts to lose it laughing while Dani was shocked too, "That's fucking crazy from you."

"What?!" Nick repeats.

"How many Ubers did you buy?" Matt gets serious.

"Too many."

"TOO MANY!" Matt says as well.

"Hundreds of dollars on Uber." Nick says then him and Chris trade places.

"Do you hate Dani?" Nick asks him.

"No."

"Will you ever?" Nick asks.

"Nope."

"Did you have a blast at Summer Smash?" Nick gets to the real questions.

"Absolutely."

"Did you feel like a third wheel with Matt and Dani all week?" Nick laughs a bit asking him.

"I did at times." Chris tells the truth.

"Do you wish she stayed here?"

"A bit." Chris laughs.

For Dani's turn, Matt was the one asking questions, "Dating anyone?"

"I am not dating anyone." She laughs, "Why do people think that?"

"Are you still upset you couldn't wear that outfit?" He asks her.

"I'm very upset that I didn't get to wear it." She answers him.

"Did you have fun?"

"I did, hated how Chris would keep waking us up. But I had a blast." She sees how Chris gave her a look making her laugh, "We made great memories over the week."

"This video is over." Nick steps in front of the camera clapping his hands.

[celestialmantdonna]

The Guardians were stuck in the middle of a war, in a place they had never been in, and accidentally uncovering a whole conspiracy against the royal family with extremely volatile social and political ramifications.

In other words, it was just another Tuesday for the Guardians of the Galaxy.

While King Raminas, Basch, Soryn, Caelen and Munoh planned Dalmasca's next move in the throne room, Groot was happily sitting on Reks' shoulder outside, after Drax had placed him there at his request.

Groot blinked wide-eyed as Reks let him pet the lizard. He beamed, reaching out to carefully pet the small creature. The lizards were so cute!

"I am Groot!"

"He says thank you," Drax translated.

"I am Groot!"

"Now he says the lizards are wonderful."

"I am Groot."

"He says his name is Groot. My name is Drax." The Kylosian remembered Reks' face, as he had seen him right after their arrival, but he didn't remember his name.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

"So what are you working on, anyway?" Quilll asked. He had been desperately trying to contact Kraglin and Nebula to no avail. "I thought you wanted to fix the ship."

"That's none of your business."

"Uh, I'm your Captain."

Rocket looked up from the green device he was working on, glaring.

"So?"

"So yeah, it's my business to know what you're doin'. It's part of my, uh... duty. As Captain."

"Are ya tryin' to tell me that Star-Lord, 'legendary outlaw', is dutiful now? Heh, what's next? Water burning?" Rocket chuckled. "Oh, wait, don't answer that, I know what's next. Us fightin' for the place where our friend survived a fuckin' assassination attempt!" He then pointed a tool at Quill menacingly. "You say a lotta nonsense, Quill, but ya really outdid yourself there, pal."

"Look, man... I'm pissed off too, alright? Mantis is... My father stole–"

"Stole her from her planet and family when she was a kid. Raised her as a servant. Used her for her powers 'cause he could create stuff from scratch but he couldn't control his damn emotions. I know. Drax told us the story, like eighteen times. It's a Kylosian thing."

"I guess... I know this sounds stupid–"

"Everythin' ya say sounds stupid, Quill," Rocket remarked with a smirk.

"Can you let me finish the damn sentence?!" Quill demanded and heaved a sigh before looking away. "I'm trying to say that... Ego... he raised her. So I see her as... a sister figure, kind of."

Rocket glanced at Quill again. He didn't stop working, but he did slow down.

"Y'know, you should say that to her," he said, his voice a bit softer, encouraging even.

"No, dude! I can't do that." Quill shoved his hands in the pockets of his trench coat.

"Why not?"

"Because Ego's gone. She doesn't have to put up with his bullshit anymore. If I tell her I see her as a sister, I don't... I don't know, it would be like saying she should see Ego as her father. He stole her from her parents, dude. I can't just... ask that from her, she doesn't deserve to see that lunatic as her father."

Rocket shrugged. These conversations made him uncomfortable. Sarcasm, snark and sardonicism were much safer options.

"Eh, whatever. But since ya asked, this," he pointed to the green device he was building, "is for Mantis. We don't know how many people are willing to try and get her killed, and I don't wanna find out. This will amplify her powers, since it's gonna take me a while to fix the ship, it was a pretty messy landing. This is faster." And keeping his friends safe was more important than getting out of there, Rocket thought, but he did not say it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

As Mantis and Gamora returned to the Guardians' room to wait for the maids, the empath thought of something.

"Gamora," she said. "I think it'd b-be best if you go to the throne room. You should tell them about what Vossler said to us."

"No." Gamora's reply was firm. "I am not leaving you alone. Not after what happened."

"You heard what he said. No one else was involved in the attempt on my life. I am safe, but... the King and Prince aren't." A flicker of concern crossed her face. Mantis could feel the weight of everything setting upon her shoulders. It had been a long day, but she couldn't let herself grow tired. Not when there was a pregnant maid in need of reassurance. "Please, Gamora... I will be fine. You need to tell them what we know."

Gamora exhaled through her nose and nodded, hands on her hips. "Very well," she said. "But only if you promise me you won't leave our room."

"I promise." Mantis nodded, and she returned to the room feeling surprisingly unafraid.

Mantis waited patiently for the maids to arrive. Once they did, she allowed them to help her put on a traditional Dalmascan garment, a long, simple yet nice dress. She liked the green details of it – Mantis loved dresses. When she was almost done, she thanked the maids and said they could leave, except for one of them who could stay and help her tie the ribboon around her waist and behind her back. Mantis had felt the life growing inside the young woman, and she didn't know whether the other maids knew or not, so she chose to be silent.

Once she was alone with the woman, the empath stayed still as the other helped her with the ribboon. When it was done, she turned around and smiled gently.

"Thank you. You are very kind." She wrung her hands to refrain from passively gleaning things from her. "Could you please stay for a moment? I would like to speak with you. I am Mantis. What's your name?"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

Gamora returned to the throne room where she and the Guardians stood immediately after their arrival, explaining what Vossler said after Soryn and Munoh left the dungeons. She expected to find Basch and Soryn there, but since they were gone, she spoke directly to Raminas and Caelen. After all, they were the target of the next assassination attempt. Gamora didn't know what the Archadian Empire was capable of, but she knew what war could do.

She told them that the guardsmen wouldn't betray the Crown. That they weren't a danger to anyone in Dalmasca, especially to the King, Prince and Princess.

"The guard who made the attempt on my teammate's life was lied to by sir Azelas," Gamora added. "He made false claims. Said she was planning to assassinate Your Majesty, and the guard trusted him. Of course, that was a lie. He was so threatened by my teammate's abilities he wanted her gone, but no one else was involved. He reckons he... went too far with over twenty women. The exact number is not known."

Another Time, Another Place (A Hollow Universe In Space) || closed with tarnishedxknight

@tarnishedxknight continued from here

The Guardians stood there, letting Captain Basch formally introduce them to King Raminas. They all then bowed respectfully except for Rocket, who only did so because Gamora pushed his head down. They trusted Basch for the most part, as he assured them no one would hurt them after telling them to leave their weapons at the ship. Quill and Gamora were the first ones to leave theirs; Drax didn't want to leave his knives, but did so after Mantis looked at him, while Rocket pulled a comical amount of retractable weapons from his pockets.

As they followed Basch, Mantis had stayed behind for a moment to approach Vossler. She felt much better after Munoh sent her some calm energy, and she smirked at the man. Suddenly, her hand was on his cheek, her antennae aglow. "Whenever you open your mouth to say something unkind, you will wail like a baby. Honestly, it might be more coherent than anything else you have said," she whispered. She patted his cheek twice as if to seal her whimsical behest, and hurried to follow the Guardians as Basch guided them through the palace of Rabanastre.

Quill straightened and cleared his throat to speak to the King. Mantis took his hand; Quill was a little confused, but he allowed it since he knew she wasn't feeling great.

"Your Majesty," he said, once again lowering his voice in an attempt to mirror Basch's formal tone and presence, hoping it would make the King like him more. "We come in peace. We thank you for your time, and we apologize for occupying one of your docks. I think I have–" He stopped talking rather suddenly, and swallowed. "Uh... I think... I have..."

What was happening was that Mantis was frantically reading his thoughts as he spoke, using her powers to interrupt him because he was going to say he had the perfect stuff to make up for it, wanting to show the King some Terran music with the Zune. While Terran music was excellent, Mantis knew not everyone would like it, nor find it an acceptable form of apology.

"I have no excuse," Quill said instead. "And I have to... shut up... now."

[starmieknight]

Stars Align

The Hand That Rocks the Mabel Pt. 2

17 Again AU: After a disastrous first day with the twins, Stan swears to do better as an uncle. But fate loves playing tricks on him and the magic 8-ball in the attic is more than it seems.

Now on top of having a pair of twelve year olds around the house while he tries to finish the portal and bring his brother home, Stan has to deal with being back in his seventeen year old body! Summer has never been weirder in Gravity Falls.

AO3 link

Concept Art

Legend of the Gobblewonker (Art)

Prologue, The Legend of the Gobblewonker, Headhunters Pt. 1, Headhunters Pt. 2, Headhunters Pt. 3, The Hand That Rocks the Mabel Pt. 1 (previous)

WARNING: There is a mention of concentration camps and antiquated ways of referring to the LGBTQ+ community in this chapter. In keeping with the times that Stan was raised and the communities he might have encountered growing up, I'm deciding to use these terms until he can get some education from the kids. Personally, I may have him use 'queer' to define himself since that's the term I use for myself. Just a heads up.

“Dipper, where's your sister?” 

“.... who?” 

Stan gave his nephew an unimpressed look and crossed his arms expectantly. 

“I don't know! She didn't tell me! And, plus, I told her not to!” 

“Oh dude,” Soos chuckled from where he and Wendy were looking through the new magazines. “You folded faster than a British butler. That's gotta be, like, a record or something! 

“Don't know anything, huh?” Stan's eyes narrowed as he leaned in, blocking any escape routes. Dipper's eyes darted away from him nervously, trying to find anything to look at besides his grunkle. “Then you wouldn't happen to know… what Mabel's doing in the paper next to that greasy pickpocket Gideon?!” 

“Oh yeah, it's a pretty big deal," Wendy said easily, showing Stan her phone's group chat. Between her and that little screen, ― which was a lot easier to see now ― Stan knew all he needed to know about the upcoming date. 

“That little shyster has no right to date my great-niece!” Stan shouted, crumpling up the offending news article that had threatened his blood pressure when he saw it at the breakfast table. 

Soos didn't help anything with his couple name speculations. 

Stan hurried to don his jacket and grabbed his keys. 

“This ends tonight!” He declared hotly. “I'm going right down to that little skunk's house and putting a stop to this! Right! Now!”  

He snatched up his cane, slamming the door behind him. He’d club the little brat over the head if he had to!

He couldn't believe the nerve of those kids, sneaking around behind his back! And here he thought that he and Mabel had reached an understanding! 

Moses, she really was too much like Ford. 

Never listened to reason, either of them! Never thought that Stan knew what he was talking about. They just had to get out there and stick their noses where they didn't belong. 

Well, he wasn't going to let Mabel go tripping through some strange portal because she was too curious for her own good! 

Stan spun the wheel sharply, screeching into a parking space at the gate of the Gleeful home. He threw a rock at the billboard of Gideon as he stormed up the entryway. 

The little hand stitched sign on the door only served to aggravate him further. 

“I will pardon nothing!” Stan scoffed, slapping the sign off the door. 

Buddy Gleeful opened the door, looking down at him with irritation. 

“Can I help you, young man?” 

Young man? What was Bud smoking in there― 

Oh yeah. 

Stan puffed up, wondering if he'd always had to look up slightly to meet Bud's eyes and put on his best ‘grumpy, old man’ expression. The effect was somewhat dampened by his babyface, but he pushed on anyway.

“Out of the way, bud.”, he commanded. “I'm looking for Gideon.” 

Bud perked up at that. 

“My goodness,” he exclaimed, tone changing entirely. “You must be one of my boy’s new little friends! Come in, come in! I haven't seen the boy around, but I'm sure he'll be back in just a minute. He's got a new little girlfriend he's just crazy about!”

“Yeah!” Stan stomped his foot, but couldn't get away from Bud dragging him inside. “Mabel's my nie― cousin!” 

“Cousin!” Bud exclaimed in surprise, leaning down to look at Stan better. “Why, are you Stanford's son? I never knew he had a boy of his own! Well, apart from that Jesús fellow, but you are the spittin’ image of him!” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Stan said uncomfortably, avoiding Bud's eyes. “Stanley Pines… The Second.” 

“Good to meet you, son!” Bud clapped him on the back jovially and ushered him to the sofa. “Sit down, sit down! Honey, would you mind gettin’ us some lemonade? Young Stanley here must be parched, wearin’ that suit in this heat! We wouldn't want our son's future in-law fallin’ out on us, now would we?” 

“Yes, dear.” Mrs. Gleeful said blankly, pausing only a moment to peer at Stan before disappearing into the kitchen. 

“Wait, what?” Stan blinked rapidly at the clown painting on the wall, temporarily in awe of the beautiful contrast the artist had used. He wouldn't mind having that hanging in the Shack… No― he couldn't get distracted now! “Future in-law?! Absolutely not!” 

“Well, when the kids are singin’ in harmony, what can you do?” Bud chuckled, accepting a glass of lemonade from his wife when she returned. “Thank you, hon.”

“You're welcome, dear,” Mrs. Gleeful said absently, her empty eyes settling on Stan. “Did you say your name was Stanley?” 

“The Second!” Stan said hastily. “After my late uncle.” 

“From Jersey?” 

“Yeah, from ― how do you know that?” Stan said sharply as he sat up.

“I've got a cousin from there,” Mrs. Gleeful murmured, a little more life entering her expression. She looked almost wistful. “She was a bit older than me, but she used to have this boyfriend named Stanley. He was… a beautiful dancer.”  

Stan felt his hands get sweaty and he nearly dropped his lemonade. Which, speaking of ― when did she put that in his hand? 

“I, uh―” he muttered anxiously. “I never met the guy. Think he died or something…” 

“What a shame.” Mrs. Gleeful sighed. 

At least Bud looked just as uncomfortable as Stan felt.

“Honey, we don't talk about Carla, remember?” he said tightly as he fixed his car salesman's smile on Stan again. “So, my boy, how's your father doing? With my Gideon and y’all's Mabel hittin’ it off so well, I'd like to talk to him about the fantastic business opportunity it could provide us with!” 

“Whatchu talkin’ about, buddy?” Stan fixed the man with an unimpressed glare. 

“Think of it!” Bud exclaimed, spreading his arms theatrically. “The Mystery Shack and the Tent of Telepathy! Your father and I have been at each other's throats for far too long, yes, we have! This is our big chance to brush aside our rivalry and pool our collective profits, y’see?” 

Stan felt his face light up at the idea of profits, but then he hesitated.

Any other time he might have jumped at the opportunity. It just sounded too good to be true. Which is what stopped him in his tracks. 

The lemonade was all right, but it wasn't enough to distract him like a good cup of Colombian coffee might have.

And the idea of using Mabel as a business tool… just didn't settle with him. Maybe it was the lack of cataracts, but somehow, something about this whole setup just looked off to him. Like some kind of honeypot.

He’d dealt with those before, but it had been so long that being thrown back into the pits was startling. The whole thing reminded him of the weekend he'd met Marilyn in Vegas. She'd lured him in with sweet words and the promise of working together to get ahead in life ― and then she tried to steal his car.

“Tell Gideon,” Stan began coldly. “That if I catch him steppin’ out with Mabel again, raykh zol er zayn un hobn tsvey oytos. Eyn oyto zol loyfn khapn far im a dokter, un der tsveyter zol loyfn moydie tsu zayn, az s’iz shoyn nokh alemen!”

He stood up, relishing the stunned looks on the Gleefuls’ faces and wondering just when the spirit of his late mother had decided to speak through him. 

Eh, whatever. It was effective all the same. 

Stan slammed the door on his way out, stomping on the flowers in the garden as he went. 

He still had to find Mabel. 

Stan returned home to find a morose Mabel and a lobster in his fish tank. 

As long as his mother's spirit was infecting him, he might as well get in a good lecture.

_____________________________________________________________

“She doesn't know how to call it off with Gideon and not hurt his feelings.” Dipper said as he and Stan stared at the girl. She was laying face down against the armchair cushions and making sounds that would have been right at home in a whale documentary. 

Stan felt some of this previous ire fade and he slumped in exasperation. She just looked so sad. He was a little disappointed that he wouldn’t get to give his lecture.

“You want to deal with that while I take care of Gideon?" he asked, jabbing a thumb in his niece’s direction. 

Dipper grimaced at the idea and lifted a hand to lower Stan's arm. 

“Maybe I should be the one to break the news to Gideon? Mabel and I talked about it, but maybe you should talk to her. Weren't you married before? Just tell her what not to do in a relationship.”

“Kid, that marriage only lasted four hours.” Stan grumbled, shoving his nephew's hat down until the boy stumbled blindly. “But fine, give that little brat a few licks on my behalf and I'll talk to your sister. Y’think some ice cream’ll help?”

“Couldn't hurt!” Dipper gasped, finally freeing his head from his hat. “Be back soon.” 

Stan watched him go for a moment, a slight smile curling his lips. 

Yeah, the kid really was a lot like him. Especially when it came to protecting their siblings. He only hoped that Dipper and Mabel would turn out better than him and Ford. 

“You doing okay there, pumpkin.” Stan asked, sitting on top of the T-Rex skull and leaning over to rub her back. 

Mabel let on another whale sound before turning her head just enough to peek up at Stan. 

“I don't know,” she admitted, defeat evident in her tone. “I just wanted a friend and Gideon keeps trying to turn himself into a boyfriend. Grunkle Stan, dealing with boys is hard.” 

Stan snorted. “Don't I know it? They don't get any better as you grow up either. Learned that the hard way back when I was dating Jimmy snakes in New York.” 

New York in the late seventies hadn't been all that bad at first. The people that were more colorful and had a tendency to look the other way when they saw something shady going down. And the night life there was nearly as good as Vegas's. 

Jimmy hadn't been that bad at first either. He was a cool cat with his own place and a motorcycle that he could go all night. In more ways than one, if you caught his drift. 

But all good things had to come to an end and Stan had to leave Jimmy and the town if he wanted to keep his head attached to his neck.

“You had a boyfriend?!” Mabel cried in shock, finally sitting up. “I didn't know you could do that!”

“Kid, people can love whoever they want.” Stan shrugged, trying to shake the age-old memory of his father's lectures about homosexuals and the things he'd seen done to them while helping break down concentration camps in Germany.  Pa’d always gotten a strange look in his eye when he talked about his army days and inevitably trailed off. But the parts he did talk about were horrifying. Stan refocused on Mabel. “But that doesn't give Gideon the right to push you for anything. No one has the right and don't you ever let them guilt you into believing otherwise. Just punch them in the kisser if they try!”

Mabel snickered and threw a mock punch that didn't look too bad. 

“That's what mom says too!” She said cheerfully. “And our kickboxing coach!” 

“You a fighter, huh?” Stan snickered, ruffling her hair. “Maybe I should be teaching you the ol’ Pines’ Family Boxing Moves.”

“Yeah!” Mabel lit up even further at the idea. She looked at Stan with stars in her eyes. “Will you really teach me?”

“If it’ll help keep yous two outta trouble,” he agreed, tugging her to his chest. She hugged him back readily, feeling like a little furnace for his heart.

He’d do anything to protect these kids. And teaching them how to box! Even if Ford hadn’t liked the lessons, it was still something they had fun doing together. And now he could share the experience with his niblings, too!

Now, they just had to finish getting that money-grubbing, fake psychic out of their hair and they’d be golden!

_____________________________________________________________

The whole Gideon situation was getting way out of hand. Something had gone wrong with the ‘breakup’ and now both the twins were missing!

Stan was grumbling about it the whole time as he headed up to one of the Gleefuls’ old factories. He'd found the address written down in Dipper’s handwriting on a carbon copy in the receipt book. And then he found out from Wendy that Mabel had gone off to break up with Gideon in person, having felt bad about Dipper doing it for her, not realizing she was following her brother right into a trap!

What was with these kids?!

He blamed Ford.

Somehow, someway, it had to be his brother's influence causing the kids to get into situations like this. Maybe it was genetics. Or, more likely, it was that damn journal of his! Stan still wasn't having any luck in getting his hands on the one Dipper had. 

Would it kill the kid to leave it laying around somewhere? He even took it into the bathroom with him on the rare occasion when he showered.

Speaking of which, Stan really needed to have a talk with his nephew about hygiene. 

He sighed, wondering just what had become of his life, and rounded the curve. The factory was now in sight and ― Sweet Moses!! 

Stan hit the brakes, the car squealing in protest, and watched in horror as a pair of tiny figures toppled over the side of the cliff.

“Kids.” He screamed, flooring the car in the direction of their fall. He cut off the car and threw himself out, nearly face planting in the dirt. 

Thankfully, there were no splatters of his family littering the forest floor but he couldn't deny the sight of Dipper and Gideon caught in some green, mystic glow while Mabel floated overhead, wreathed in the same unearthly light.

Stan collapsed to the ground, unable to hear the kids’ conversation over the pounding in his ears. 

Oh God, he could have lost them and he wouldn't have been able to do anything about it.

All because of Gideon. 

He didn't know how he found himself on his feet or why the twins were suddenly yelling at him, but he had his hands on that pudgy, little brat and memories from Mississippi were flooding back to him. Eight-Ball Alcatraz had gotten his hands dirty in that muddy water more than once ― never for murder but, hey! He was young again and there was plenty of time to try something new.

“Grunkle Stan!” Mabel shrieked, launching herself into his arms and forcing him to drop Gideon. 

The boy fell back, squealing like the pig he was, and scrambled away, various items spilling from his hair like a trail of breadcrumbs.  

A flash of gold inevitably caught his eye. 

Stan pivoted, snatching Dipper up as well, and fell to the ground once more with the twins safely encased in his arms. 

“I thought I lost you two.” He admitted, burying his face in their wild curls. “Oh Moses, I saw you go over that cliff―”

“Grunkle Stan…” Dipper squeezed free of the embrace just enough to stare at his uncle with surprise. 

And why wouldn't he, considering how gruffly Stan treated the boy? It was hard to handle Dipper the same way he did Mabel. Pines boys had to be tough, so you had to treat them tough. Make them strong enough to face the world on their own ― because the world would never be kind to them.  

That was the way Filbrick had taught his sons and Stan had always believed in it for some reason.

But holding Dipper and Mabel like this after that scare made him re-evaluate his plans for the summer. He never wanted the kids to think he didn't love them ― no matter how much he needed to pretend otherwise for the sake of his ruse.

Even Ford wasn't worth pushing away what he added with the kids right now. 

“Grunkle Stan, what happened with you?” Mabel asked, grabbing his face. Her own was crinkled with concern and a trace of fear that made his heart clinch. “That was ― That was really scary.” 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he mumbled, avoiding her eyes. “I just… lost it there for a second. I told you that Gideon was no good!”

“Considering the way he swore vengeance on our entire family,  I agree.” Dipper said tiredly, his eye beginning to swell. Gideon must have gotten in a good hit while they were falling. 

Stan squeezed them a little tighter. “I won't let him get even close.”

“We destroyed his amulet.” Dipper assured him, relaxing at the reminder. “You saw that… right? How Mabel saved us with a magic amulet? Well, at least you can't deny that magic exists anymore, right?”

The boy chuckled nervously, looking up at his uncle with a margin of hope.

Stan sighed heavily. “Kid, I've always known.”

There went the cat, the bag dragging along behind it like some half rotten corpse. 

The twins looked up Stan in shock.

 “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“I'm not an idiot, Dipper.” Stan rolled his eyes, exasperation seeping into his tone. “Of course this town is weird! And the one thing I know about that weirdness is that it's dangerous! Case in point ― Gideon and his magic amulet. You could have died, you knucklehead!”

“Then, you being all young again…” Mabel's eyes were wide as saucers. “Why lie about that?”

“I wanted to keep you away from it all. To protect you. Looks like I can't lie about that anymore. Not if I want to keep yous two in one piece.”

The twins shared a look, some silent conversation taking place between them. Stan recalled sharing many of those looks with Ford when they were kids. 

“We're sorry for keeping this from you, Grunkle Stan.” Dipper said.

“Yeah, we never meant to get caught up in all those wacky messes.” Mabel agreed, a bit more lively than her brother. “They just sort of happened!”

“And we haven't even seen half of the things in the journal yet.” Dipper added, a strange mix of worry and nerves crossing his face.

“Journal, huh?” Stan looked away from the twins, only a fraction of his real interest showing in his tone. “Think I could take a look at that?”

Dipper's face creased with worry. “I guess… if you agree to give it back!”

“Only if you promise to use it for self-defense and not go looking for trouble.”

If that was the only way to get the journal, then so be it. He'd just have to keep a closer eye on the twins until the end of summer. 

“Well then,” Dipper fumbled, still not wanting to give over his most prized possession so easily. “You don't have any other bombshell secrets about this town you plan on dropping on us, do you? 

“No, I think that's it for the town.” Stan hummed in agreement, grateful for the loophole his nephew had inadvertently given him.

Now, bombshells about their family…

Mabel yawned against Stan’s chest, snuggling further into him. “Can we go home now?”

“Yeah,” Stan agreed, finally releasing the kids. “First one to the car gets to ride shotgun with me!” 

The twins leapt at the opportunity, suddenly revitalized by sibling rivalry, shooting away from Stan like rockets.

He grinned after them before rising to his feet and picking up his loot.

 The six fingered hand gleamed beneath the moonlight, a bold black number two in the center. 

“Finally,” he breathed reverently, placing his hand over the gold foil. “After all these years, I have them all…”

[runawayfuture]

I think it's funny that Gale, Wyll, Shadowheart, and Astarion all have these moments where they're like "ok, I need to confess something that I've been hiding from you... I'm actually a horrible person because (I'm a ticking time bomb/I made a pact with a devil/I worship a goddess widely regarded as evil/I'm a vampire)" and Karlach is like "uh btw, before you start being too nice to me, the devil who made me into a living weapon might track me down and try to kidnap me back after I escaped from her" and they're all like "so I understand if you don't want to travel with me anymore, I'll pack my little bag and go... wait, I can stay? You mean it? Oh my god thank you, I'll be good just give me a chance to prove myself, I can't believe you're still letting me travel with you" and half of them just expect you to kill them on the spot once they tell you what's going on

... meanwhile Lae'zel has been up-front about all her crazy stuff from the moment you met and she thinks you're either insane or the stupidest creature alive if you don't want her to tag along. what a queen

[novelconcepts]

It really frees up so much mental real estate when you start thinking of sex as just: a thing people sometimes do. Some people are super into it! Some aren't! It's for fun! It's for intimacy! It's the deepest connection some people will ever feel and totally meaningless to others! It's hot! It's boring! It helps some people sleep! It exists as an exciting construct solely in fantasy for others! What it isn't is some complicated moral ground that needs to be fought against at every turn. It's just A Thing. Which means people who have a lot of it, or none of it, or whatever in between are all worth the same. Which means stories that have a lot of it, or none of it, or whatever in between are worth the same, too. Smut isn't less valuable than "clean" stories. People who have a high "body count" aren't less valuable than those who have never had sex at all. It's just A Thing. Making peace with sex as just A Thing that is natural to consentingly have or not have, want or not want, really is a great adjustment to your brainspace.

[asksprunkiestsimon]

[ STOP THE LITTLE SQUEAKS THATS SO CUTE. I DIDN'T KNOW THEY MADE NOISES?? THIS IS GREAT NEWS CHAT. WHAT A CUTIE ] [ More soft clacking as his hands moved around.. It's okay Vin, they'll be there when you guys stop snuggling, thats for sure ]

" now you're going for it way too hard ! " " theres a process, dude .. " " you've raised the stakes way too high. shoulda just taken me bowling or ice skating "

[ An antenna straightens up. Bowling would most definitely fuck. Vinnie looks like someone who would be really cracked at getting strikes ] [ Oh yeah!! All of his speech is muffled right now, testament to how far he's nuzzled into the boy. But he pulls back now. stretching his arms out in front of him, finally taking his hands off of the other ]

" when you're right you're right and you're right " " ..looks like we have a walk ahead of us. then ! "

[ You wouldn't even be able to tell he was sick just minutes before. The power of friendship has healed his soul, and his heart ] [ He pulls away (albeit reluctantly) and rocks onto his feet, holding a paw out for him to grab onto ]

" lets not keep ourselves waiting any longer " " i'm really looking forward to that soup "

"*puff, huff* Simon, what the h- *huff*... Some dude came running over to tell me you were planning on eating dry ice?!-" Vinnie pauses, panting and leaning against his crutch while staring at Simon. "Dude, do not tell me you have a belly full of that stuff right now. Oh my god your appetite is going to be the death of you- Okay, so, I think if you had a normal digestive track you'd be pretty dead by now... So so far, so good. Dude, Si, Simon, Si-Fi, talk to me, what were you thinking?" ( @a-quiet-garden tumblr please please tag me this time please

[ He was arched over in pure agony, blanket hugged close to his form. If his antennae were anymore drooped, they would fall off.. ] [ He looks up at Vinnie, one eye in a permanent squint, definitely highlighting just how much eating dry ice as an alien from outer space hurts ]

" th--three hundred calories " " hell yeEah- "

[ INSANE voice crack ] [ As much as he deserves a good scolding, right now he is looking as if he was going to be insanely sick insanely soon, so he reaches one arm towards Vin as best as he could ]

[ No way dude's going to cuddle u right now, u stinky filthy little creature ]

@a-quiet-garden

[fisheito]

hiya l'il-- medium?...large?? Assorted Sizes-Guy

oh thanks! i could always use more spices-

. what am i supposed to do with this.

[rudnitskaia]

yay a week until my 29th bday ✨🔥😎🔥✨