#and yet im constantly reminded that i dont do enough

[mooninagust]

i'm just so fucking done

[feyd-meowtha]

.

[kerorowhump]

[patchiko]

You’ve been given AK Jason so much love thx ☺️ if it’s not too much… what are some of AK Jason’s comforts? Does he have comfort foods? 🥘 Does he like the sound of the rain? 🌧️ Naps on the couch ? 🛋️

Thx 🥰

ill give this man love anytime💟

and its never too much anon, i love writing for him and yall!

Comforting Ak!Jay

(IM SO PROUD OF THIS I 💟 MY AUTISM)

(ngl this also just turned into my character analysis of Ak!Jay’s psychological gymnastics from Comics ((AK Genesis & Batman: AK)) and games) (still wrote the comfort shit tho)

hc, but i dont think any jason todds like the rain. it reminds them too much of the time he was a kid, didnt have a place to stay and went to sleep cold and wet

or when he was still young and with his family, his apartment would get flooded.

BUT ANYWAYS—

alone, i dont think jason can comfort himself very well.

beats himself for it when its over, drops him back into a spiral

just very much not healthy

HOWEVEER with someone is very different ,,

I Ramble Abt Jason Todd

post writing this, i feel like that one tweet thats like, ‘i never realized she was holding a plate of corn in this scene.’

Ak!Jays spirals or episodes come from two things, his self-esteem or self-worth, along with his lack of self-identity

Ak!Jason (Post/During AK) has a very hard time with his self worth, it solely stems from wanting to prove people wrong about himself. he obviously doesn’t like being perceived in the wrong way.

Ak!Jason (Post/During AK) says he’s move pasts his traumas, yet his identity and reasoning is constantly rooted in them, leading to so much contradictory dialogue and mental FUCKING GYMNASTICS.

ak!jay juggling if he wants to be loved by batman/batfam or wants to end it

i think he often ponders if he was better off being killed by the joker, or if he can really be redeemed from his actions as Arkham Knight by helping Gotham as Red Hood.

and if it’s enough for the people around him or someone to accept him.

if he can truly ever be loved

he has a lot of crisises about his identity and purpose more often then not b/c he cant find a reason for either besides his own anger and approval addiction.

, his biggest fear is losing, being worthless, and unwanted.

his constant drive is winning and proving himself as the best.

it causes his always feeling the need to prove himself, just so that hes wanted.

full pic is him on hid knees begging alfred for help,, my baby—-

the first introduction of his internalized self-deprecation is with his father, other then the Arkham Knight Annual

though he rejects this “truth” in the Annual, showing his determination to prove himself more then what Bruce and the Joker idealizes him to be, I think its a good mirror into Jasons mind and what really makes him start cracking

Ex. , his biological father canonically telling him he was a loser growing up, and his mom seems to personify/objectify Jason as gothams gravitation keeping them in gotham.

another example is the way he is talked to throughout scarecrows psychotropic

throughout the comic and game he goes between or showing a desire for a connection with bruce and praising joker for his upbringing, then chastising them.

its very clear jason has an identity issue, with him isolating himself because he believes he is too broken (game dialogues), his need for validation stemming from his childhood, his fear of abandonment, and overall internal dilemmas of wanting a connection or not. obviously hes not good with working out his emotions on his own without doing considerably impulsive things.

jason wanting to be his own person v jason wanting to be a better person for the people in his life

He see’s the place he was tortured as a rebirth for him, along with his plan to destroy Gotham and Bruce.(AK: Genesis)

This only comes from his desire to want his own separate identity, by ending these cycles of Bruces actions and Gothams nightmares he also believes that he will be truly free.

his only true identification with himself is anger and resentment, being built, gravitated, and broken by anger. feeling like hes always losing or lost, and his desire to just win something and therefore be wanted

okay to stop a fuckton of more rambling jason todd, abandoment issues, jealousy/obsession issues, need for connection, validation, relationships, self-destructive isolation, brainwashing induced perception issue, intense mood swings which also cause perception issues.

i guess it could try to be argued that Jason doesn’t actually want validation bc he got over the psychotropic; but i disagree with the way he constantly talks about being underestimated and feeling like he has to prove himself throughout the comics and his dialogue with Barbra in game.

i also want to make it clear that throughout the ak!comics he does help civilians so it does really have morality for other people. He does separate Gothams Gravity from the people, and claims the worst of the worst (villains and such) are the people who succumb to gotham.

(im only stopping bc im on mobile and couldn’t put anymore pictures)

im so upset.

theres so much i didnt get to talk abt

Ok Actually Comforting

so its pretty god damn hard to comfort this dude, he’s a chronic over analyzer, could probably turn anything and everything you say against himself or you, and yet would crave validation and intimacy.

which makes him a bit of a trip,, but i love him. so.

a lot of the time you’ll have to go with his flow

if its really bad he’ll isolate himself, he feels like he’s letting you down by breaking in front of you. He can’t let you see him as weak because to him its a liability for your relationship.

as well as the fact that his perception becomes very extreme/warped when very emotional. he’ll can range from believe your lying to him, to he’s not worth that kind of comfort and he’s wasting your time.

it takes a lot of patience for him to accept that he isnt an inconvenience to you and you do actually care

overtime, a lot of fucking time, he’ll slowly come around to this. instead of leaving for days or weeks at a time, Jason will leave for at most a day or two, but around midnight he’ll be home craving your presence.

he cant be alone again, he really doesn’t wanna be alone again, he needs to make sure you don’t wanna leave him.

probably just goes to sleep facing you, or holding your hand if hes feeling especially mushy.

he’d be so quiet, having the internal battle of leaving you or letting him feed into his desire of just having you around him.

In his words, needing a home. feeling safe, and warm. (I LIED I DELETED TWO PICS TO SHOW THIS)

jason thinking of alfred as home>>

Jason needs that in a partner! Someone who is warm to him! someone who makes him feel wanted or needed! Someone who makes him feel safe!

I think if you catch him just as he gets triggered/begins to spiral, you can help him not crash out.

Being over the top mushy with him isnt gonna work, he needs someone to ground him and be 100% with him.

sometimes he doesn’t need to talk or just doesn’t want to, again presence.

but acknowledging him every now and then to make sure he knows your not brushing him off or forgot about him.

when you’re in a closer relationship he definitely just wants you in his arms, needs to hold you close.

Home-cooked meals with him, justing going about your life with him, making him feel wanted, making him feel acknowledged.

i think he’d open up every now and then, but i think he’s also still a self-assured person who needs guidance at the right time. to just be sure he’s on the right path and youre with him.

one of his triggers is his own jealousy, accidentally making him feel like he’s replaceable or him believing you’ll get tired of him.

he needs so much reassurance.

just be there with him, guide him, love him, make sure he’s on the right path.

he needs a lot of things, sometimes its naps, sometimes its food, sometimes just to be in your arms, sometimes to help you cook, sometimes watching you work, sometimes he’ll have you lay your back on his chest and read with him, sometimes he just wants to fall asleep with you, sometimes he wants to cry in your arms, JUSDHRIDJDJDISO JASON TODD COME HOME WE MISS YOUUUU

HES MY HIGH MAINTENANCE GF

this was so satisfying to write i <3 jason todd

rq/inbox is open !! if you just wanna yap or wanna request somethin’ go ahead!

[heliumshorns]

NOT ME HAVING THE HONOUR OF BEING MUTUALS WITH ONE OF MY FAV WRITERS, HELLO?!?!?!?!?

anyways, i rlly can't stop thinking ab soft Gojo :(

just him getting super emotional while cuddling cus he's thinking ab just how much he adores and appreciates having someone in his life, who loves and sees him for who he truly is cus he's always just percieved as the strongest and not as Satoru </3 (Sugurus "Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest" HURTS)

it's just softness and fluff everywhere as he slowly traces his hands all over his lovers body; squeezing, caressing, tracing, overall just trying to get himself to believe: "You're here, you're real, i have you."

A tear leaving his eye as he makes eye contact with his love, and they kiss it away whilist caressing his cheeks and whispering sweet nothings into his ear, but also reassuring and reminding him that yes, you deserve to be more than a weapon, you deserve to be you.

I'm so emotional ab him :((, this can also count as a request btw, i was mostly sharing brainrot cus im very much despising the jjk manga and am actively living in delusions :)

you can add some soft sex or keep it fluffy and bittersweet (if you wanna ofc, no pressure<3)

I fucking LOOOVE a soft Satoru I DONT CAREEEE

He's so adorable and it HURTS MEEE

(also, HI MOOT AND AHHHHH FAVOURITE WRITER??? I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ANYTHING PROPER YET😭😭)

tiny drabble under the cut because HDGSHHSHSH

(i didn't write smut but I am planning on working with that 😩)

The way his gentle eyes meet yours isn't enough to put into words. Or maybe it's too much. Words are complicated sometimes.

So it's understandable why Satoru doesn't speak when he gets home like this. Tired. Exhausted. Feeling like his headache is so bad not even a box of panadol can fix. Hell, he feels the pain in his soul.

But the second your soothing voice reaches his ears, it's like all of the turmoil is gone. The world reduces itself to the warmth of your skin and the smoothness of your voice. It becomes the simple moments of intimacy, where you just hold him to soothe his six eyes.

Where they can all, truly, fall shut and rest.

Like a safe space of some sorts. With your careful hands caressing his hair as you both lay, cuddling, all of the lights out. No music. No noise. Just your shared breathing, and heartbeats. How his hands rest on your back, his full weight on top of you, hair tousled and messy. His breaths deep and slow, making him slowly melt more and more into your embrace.

With gentle words and gentler touches.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, my love."

Even being called that makes tears prickle his eyes. My love. Not Satoru. Not Gojo. Not the strongest nor a weapon. Just... someone. A random guy, who met the most amazing person, and just happens to be loved. It's like when he's with you, all worries vanish. You're the calm to his storm.

Even if it isn't visible.

That's the funny thing about storms, right? If you're in the eye of the hurricane, you won't notice until you open your eyes. And he, sadly, has six of them to remind him how he's constantly fighting for his life.

Sadly, some people are born to fight. His heart yearns for the gentleness of a lover, and his body is used to fight the toughest battles. All while putting up the facade that he's the strongest. As if being referred to as such doesn't hurt him more than anyone can. Words, sadly, go through his infinity.

Something he absolutely turns off whenever near you.

It's like you manage to calm even the deepest, most obscure parts of his brain. You make him forget instinct. When he's in your arms, he doesn't need to protect himself from anything. He's safe. Your lips to his dampened cheeks that serve as a reminder that maybe he does deserve love. He deserves to not having to be The Strongest all of the fime.

"Such a funny thought to wrap you up in cloth

Do you find it all right, my dragonfly?"

HE DIDN'T DESERVE ITT WHAT THE FUUUUUCK HE JUST WANTED TO BE HAPPYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAH

[messrsrobyn]

this is meant as no hate to you but i hate what tiktok has done to the marauders fandom.

im sure youre nice enough cuz you wouldnt have the followers if you werent but tiktok just radicalized the whole fandom. suddenly theyre all gay or trans and their all changed and characters that shouldnt be appreciated are loved. when did we start liking barty?!? its insane

it completely ruins the writers who now feel as though they have to push out trending content to fit whatever tiktok is hyping up at the moment and people on tiktok dont ask for permission before talking about fics...yet complain when people do binds? again no hate to you but i do worry about how authors like messermoon feel when their fics are spoken about constantly by people they dont know or how authors feel having to put jegulus into fics just so people read it because tiktok has decided theyre not problematic bc they can make them hot

and dont get me started on the arguments there. i can leave a harmless comment about preferring one ship over and i get lectured about fandom etiquette when all i did was remind people that some ships are insane and canon is there for a reason.

and its always people getting big that...shouldnt. again im sure youre nice enough but 10.9k feels so unfair when youre just a fan like the rest of us if you get me

i could say more and go on for ages but those are my main points

sorry i can't read 😕 does this say you think i'm hot? thank youuuuu :3

[fandomrouletteburrito]

You know what? Im going to vent about how annoyed I am abt bsd atm and put it in the tags bcuz I also want to debate it. I enjoy bsd but I am struggling to understand what exactly Asagiri is trying to do here esp when this arc is so long that the arc itself has mini arcs in it.

If anyone reads this I would love, LOVE to discuss this because I am yanking my hair in frusteration

I am putting it under a cut so that ppl who dont want to see criticism abt bsd dont have to see it

Am i being an asshole? Yes

Am i going to warn ppl before hand and remind them that they can curate their internet experience by simply not reading something that is going to criticize something they love? And the block button exists for a reason???????Also yes

That being said i dont often go off about things i dont like about media i enjoy because well i understand everything i like has pros and cons

Also i still read bsd bcuz there r other things i DO like about it

Anywayssss

The thing that is bothering me about bsd is that I dont think I can tell what any character is doing EVER. Perhaps thats just my taste and I like having some idea of whats going to happen.

The characters arcs are excellent, their actions make sense for the personalities that they have yes.

The problem i do have w bsd is that the characters are apparently constantly always somehow predicting whats going on

How in the goddamn world do you expect me to believe that Fyodor let Dazai see him kill someone through touch so that Dazai would come up w a plan like Mersault? Fyodor didn’t expect Dazai to catch him at the end of the whole virus thing so like how is that enough time for him to find a way to kill that guard by just touching his hand? Why do that unless you planned the Mersault fake death from the start?

I forget but didn’t the Hunting Dogs get Mushitaro to bring up Dazai’s crimes to get Dazai into Mersault? Was this all to get Dazai away from the agency? Extremely likely but that tells me Fyodor planned to fake his death from the star(again) WHICH IN TURN MEANS HE HAD TO HAVE FKING KNOWN SO MUCH AHEAD OF TIME which only makes sense if he had access to some type of future telling ability because some characters actions WERE random eg: below

If Gogol randomly decided to break Fyodor out of Mersault with his race against death game, how can Fyodor expect to be killed by a vampire to become Bram??? How does this make sense if he did not know that Gogol would plan this at all?

There is the panel of Fyodor fallin through the Mersault room correctly as he says its time to escape so maybe he knew Gogol would that? HOW if Gogol just came up with that plan without any of Fyodor’s input?? Alright then maybe he was acting so Dazai won’t catch on but even then how was he expecting to die so that he can become Bram?? What was his alternate plan?

Alright maybe he simply predicted Gogol to do that which I think is a bit sad for Gogol since I think his whole character arc is about how he doesn’t want to be shackled by anything and I would argue being manipulated by someone is a shackle

Criticism 2: the fact absolutely no one of importance has died in bsd manga except for in the light novels(i am including Odasaku in this) please PLEASE correct me if I missed a death

Im not counting Fukuchi as dead because jury’s still out on that given the whole thing w God!Fukuchi/Amenogozen

Esp as we have Dead Apple where whats his names ability outlived him and i think also in 55 minutes

Because well, how do you expect me to take any of the stakes in this manga seriously if no one of name dies ever, I would not have this issue if death wasnt faked out as many times as it has

Maybe Bram will actually stay dead but I doubt it

The fact Kunikida was killed this chapter just tells me that yet again, death is not a serious consequence in this manga. Esp as the book has not been used yet. Even fking HP Lovecraft is alive ffs.

If Kunikida stays dead I will HAPPILY eat my words and state that Asagiri is a master writer for fooling my reading of bsd that well.( i am obviously not saying only my interpretation of bsd is correct so pls dont come at me)

Criticism 3: why didn’t Dazai literally just kill off Fyodor w Chuuya once they got Sigma to get the info from Fyodor

I understand thats a much more author did that because thats what the writing needed and characters are only as intelligent as the story needs so … fineeeee thats on me

Criticism 4: the whole Amenogozen thing about how the war isn’t real

How can Fyodor fake the sign on the wall unless he knew what sign meant world ending to Fukuchi???

Not sure if this is a criticism but if Chuuya was sent by Mori…how did Fyodor expect him to show up? Unless Fyodor and Mori discussed that earlier together in which case Mori is doing an excellent job at pretending like he’s not inleague with Fyodor

This plan of Fyodor’s to become Bram is just so batshit insane and so reliant on people doing random things at the right time eg: Gogol and the death game, Chuuya not being used to kill Fyodor in any form, Sigma not waking up in time to warn the agency, Dazai not fking shooting Fyodor w a gun

Imagine if Gogol’s poison succeeded then well ig Fyodor would just stay in his body since he injected the poison in his own veins which hey doesn’t that mean there was no risk of Fyodor dying in that game? I am likely wrong but it is kinda funny

Unrelated but wow tumblr does NOT want to make writing this on mobile easy bruh

I think the reason I’m so frusterated with this is that bsd is so unpredictable that for me it feels like its going beyond the suspension of disbelief i have

Its breaking the intelligence scale that they set with Fyodor, Dazai and Ranpo that it feels too much to believe

My other issue is I dont know what the whole long term thing w BSD is, and I am a bit tired of that. That might be my personal taste where I like to know what kind of ending or long term things I hope to see in a series but this is a bit too absured for me which might be the point

If anyone reads this entire nonsensical essay you have my respect

[bugsnakes]

do you.. have any shrimpo x boxten headcanons you'd like to share...

Ohhagghh i just woke up from a nap i gottaaa think about this LATOORRR…. BUTTT likke tbe only headcanon i can remember from the top of my head is that shrimpo is a penguin pebbler and the things he would really give out to is Boxten. and Majority of the times it would be bandaids or medkits. No snacks or anything. just bandaids and medkits.

i have like a Billion. Just let me wake up a bit mmore mmkaayy? ill edit this post later trust me

EDIT: CRACKS KNUCKLES. i am WAKEN up and i am READY to SHAKE MY SCREEN VIOLENTLYno im not doing that Kiddijg.

im probably gonna go on another rambling spree (sprinkle on self projection because..yes) but yk Thats just me being me! haha!!!! Lol!

mentioned above. shrimpo is a penguin pebbler i just wanted to say that again

also previously mentioned in my shrimpo hcs he’s not too prone to love, boxten understands that he doesn’t really “know love” yet, but tries to express it in a way that it makes shrimpo slightly happy

shrimpo is a BIGG fucking protector. he’d physically get into a fight with ANYBODY if they mess with boxten. shrimpo cant process between satire and seriousness so boxten has to pull him back to explain that Majority of the time the things boxten’s teased on are for the jokesies

boxten would be the clingy person. he’d always be beside shrimpo regardless of any situation. shrimpo would also do the same thing but not too often because. Boxten already does it.

saying that above, boxten would constantly check up on shrimpo even though he’s most likely going to be alright. on times if boxten doesn’t ask or it’s been a long time since he’s asked, shrimpo would ask him instead- which causes boxten to infodump about what he’s been doing recently. THEN say “yeah. im doing okay���

^ shrimpo has a short attention span but would do anything to stay focused to whatever the fuck boxten rambles on about. boxten is a looongg ass rambler and.Tbh. props to him for being that way

they dont use pet names but would use like dumb stupid names they would laugh at together. cant think of any but just think of a random conversation they would have then slip in a little name then they start cracking up. Imagine

uhhhwhat else can i rememberr. OH YEAH THE BANDAGES THING uhhh. (these apply to my designs btw Which I probably think youve seen already) boxten applies the bandages for shrimpo because shrimpo is a little BABYY and doesnt want to do it because HE HATES PUTTING BANDAGES ON!!!! then boxten constantly reminds him not to pick on the bandages because shrimpo has a habit of doing that.

ok this is all i can think of. Theyre. Theyre something alright. but i Hope this is good enough to Satisfy your Bento Boxian Craving. LOL

[thirdtimed]

does anyone want to read me poorly describing the events of third life through grian's pov for my friend's benefit. do note that Its long. and bad.

its like. Okay.

act 1

guy is responsible for this worlds first original sin (murder) (he didnt mean it) (quite literally was just a prank gone horrifically wrong)

immediately tries to make it up to the guy he killed (scar) by pledging one of his own lives as surrogate/a symbol of allyship, albeit temporary-- he'll do all of scar's bidding, but only until he finally dies in turn. only then will the debt be considered repaid

its like. so vitally important to me that the materials & conditions for this arrangement. were quite literally Only grians idea. scar did not input any of this at all. grian dug himself a hole in the ground and refused to get out

he is stuck in a hole and its all his fault but hes blaming everyone else thats not him & hes very much not enthused about this partnership. at all. even if hes the one who decided this. even if he's the one who buried himself in the ground. because the guy he's now indebted to is a madman & makes more enemies than friends & quite frankly is just a dangerous man to be around in general. especially for a survival game. so he complains for the entire duration of their alliance that he does not want to be here & that he is only sticking around out of moral obligation and guilt. he doubly makes sure everyone else around him knows this too, letting them know how utterly pathetically powerless he is in this dynamic, as if he were a damsel needing to be rescued.

act 2

scar quickly loses his remaining lives, rendering him an infamous red name-- aka on his last life-- aka his primary objective has now switched to killing other players. he is hostile, and he is the only hostile on the server. this also means that grian is Really stuck with him now. green life players like him are supposed to be peaceful, nonviolent, and notably Far Away from their only known natural predator-- red names-- for the sake of their own survival. but green life players are also supposed to be allied with other green lives. grian is Still contractually obliged to do scars bidding. the debt has not yet been repaid.

so scar parades around the server intimidating other factions into obedience or swindling them out of resources & has grian do the equivalent of a sad little grunt worker weakly holding a gun to everyones head. he's sadly telling everyone "look, i dont have a choice, i owe him my first life; i may not be able to pull the trigger but i can still give him the gun."

meanwhile he has the gun trained on them constantly and has not once ever actually taken it off of them

see like. heres the thing. what makes grian so fun as a character is the guilt obviously but also the fact that he is Relishing in this newfound power he now has as proxy to scar's red name. "i cant kill" he says, as he goes to eagerly prepare traps and tnt explosions, "im just doing scar's bidding" he says, pointedly not mentioning how the traps were very much not scar's idea but His

he takes. so much glee. in the red life power association. he gets so many "indirect" kills as just a green name. hes a menace. and he gets to point to his creditor to avoid all blame

war breaks out and they somehow manage to survive the wreckage. all the while grian is still adamant about leaving once he loses his first life. he takes every possible moment to remind scar that this alliance is temporary-- its conditional, and he's more than ready to fly free once the cage is unlocked and open

its so fun. Because he says all this ^ REPEATEDLY. ad nauseum. i cannot stress this enough. but all his actions point otherwise. he's constantly checking up on scar making sure he's still alive. the red name may give scar prestige but its a very tenuous fragile source of power-- he's on his last life. once he dies for a third time he'll be gone for real. and grian, despite all his complaints and airs of reluctance, does everything in his power to keep scar alive. "im going to leave" he says. "once my debt is paid im out" he says, all while bandaging scars wounds. all while detailing plans that explicitly position scar in the safest area possible on the battlefield (putting him in the bunker, because his life is "too valuable.") Like Okay. Sure. Sure.

act 3

obviously. grian eventually dies. during that exact battle too, the one he painstakingly orchestrated to light up the desert in countless explosives. dies by his own hand, really, wounded by his own explosives, caught in his own trap, the tiniest final strike being a swift enemy arrow to the head. he loses his first life & his debt is at last repaid. the cage is open! you have the key. you can fly. you can leave.

obviously. he doesn't leave.

he doesnt leave because he still has a sense of "moral obligation" <- (quote) he doesn't leave because scar is "the most interesting… [significant pause] Character. on the server" <- (quote) he doesn't leave because he wants to see this til the end

well. to the end he will see it.

numbers have dwindled. theres only 3 people left. and of those 3 people, only one of them remains with a significant leg up, having only died Once throughout the entire season thus far; two red eyes predatorily stalking the only yellow name left

yeah. betrayal. or, "betrayal" if you consider it as such. though it's another person's blade, it's clear as day that scar is the one who ordered it-- who killed him, really.

logically of course its the only decision that makes sense-- you have to even out the playing field. this way, everyone is a red name & on equal footing now. this way, we can finally talk.

this does Not. mitigate the sting of hurt & betrayal on grians end. after all that we've been through? after all that i've done for you? & worst part is that he Feels like this but also Knows, logically, this is the only way it could have possibly played out. he should have known. betrayal and lies and deceit is scar's very nature. he's watched him this entire time. of all people, he should have known.

he goes in with blind rage screaming "traitor!" he doesn't notice the secretive glances scar shares his way, he doesn't notice the whisper leaving his lips in a hushed, "i have a plan." he is angry, he is hurt, and he is done caring about anyone.

in the midst of that chaos, of the sun going supernova, the last person dies without so much of a fanfare. all of a sudden, its only the two of them left.

and as grian raises his sword, scar simply lowers his head. "you may slay me." <- (quote) "for everything that you've done" <- (quote) he's so utterly willing to lay down his life. after all, its a debt owed. for all that grian has done for Him……

grian obviously sputters to a stop. " i cant do it" <- (quote) "i literally cant do it" <- (quote). mind you this is all being executed with about as much drama as any other youtube minecraft letsplay meaning none at all. theyre giggling and laughing because its all just so ridiculous and funny. theyre roleplaying but also not but also aware that theyre roleplaying and cant help but laugh at themselves for it. It is not nearly as angsty as i am actually describing it even though what i have described is Literally What Happened (albeit with a dramatic flare or two there. but still)

theyre at an impasse. they dont want to kill each other. but there can only be one winner. the ghosts chant for a bloodbath-- a barebones fist fight to the death

they decide to do it at the tattered remains of what used to be their home. that sand castle on the cliffside in the middle of the desert. in a ring of cacti & fire they declare this a double victory before counting down & fighting to the death. and theyre smiling and laughing and giggling while also wailing "im so sorry" "im so sorry"

scar dies. through skill or luck it doesnt really matter. grian wins. congrats man. first winner Ever. survival expert extraordinare. youre king. youve demolished the cage. your wings are unbound (theyve been unbound this entire time)

you've won.

"i dont feel good about this at all" <- (quote)

he wails & apologizes to scar (to nothing, to no one) & promptly thanks the audience for watching. video over! season over! thank you so much for watching. none of us would have ever expected the direction this has gone in.

good morning, and case i dont see you……

he ends the video by jumping off the cliff.

hey! so about that bird that wailed and screamed and cried to be set free and once you opened the cage he locked the door back himself and threw away the key

hey so About that bird that took to the sky & very much did not fly

[senanatheskenana]

Genshin Guys’ Voice Line About Your Death

Kaeya

“What... No- that can’t be right... There must have been a mistake- i’ll go and ask jean myself, im sure she’ll put our worries at ease. No, im not in denial, i-i just think you’re wrong! You have to be.“

Diluc

“I’m still not completely at peace with their... absence. The winery is far too big now and i find it hard to sleep at night without them. But i try my best to keep going for them. It feels marginally better now that i’ve avenged them.“

Venti

“I almost took their form but once i looked at my reflection i found it too painful. I don’t want to be constantly reminded that everything i love leaves... i dont want to move on, i want them back... “

Albedo

“It’s already been a week. Most people would experience a decrease in grief by now. And yet i feel just as horrible as i did when i was first told... I see their face in every drawing, and hear their voice in every storm- it’s torture. “

Xiao

“I don’t wanna talk about it. It feels like if i do i’ll explode. You can join me, but please don't ask me about it while we walk. I don’t want to think about what i’ve lost...“

Tartaglia

“You know, i never thought i’d ever find someone as perfect as them... I fell in love, I brought them to my family... And now, i have to tell them that (Y/N) is never coming back again.“

Zhongli

“I came to terms with the deaths of my friends. I learned to accept the things that cannot be prevented... And yet it still hits me like a landslide and i feel myself being buried alive by my grief. I’m still not sure if i want to pull myself out.“

Kaedehara Kazuha

“Many people believe that once you die your spirit will take the form of a bird. I always promised that when i died, my soul would follow (Y/N) wherever they went in the world. I can only hope their soul will find me soon... Oh, would you look at that, it’s a dove, what is it doing all the way out here, i wonder.“

Thoma

“You know sometimes i still make two plates at breakfast. And i still sleep on the right side of the bed because the other side is theirs. Half of the closet is theirs, half of the garden is theirs- half of me is still theirs, even now...“

Arrataki Itto

“Woah, woah, woah! That’s a pretty heavy joke... Hehe... You- You are joking. Right? Please tell me you’re joking...“

Gorou

“Watatsumi Island buried a brave soldier today. The resistance lost a fighter, we all lost a friend... And i- i lost the only thing i had. You guys head off, i’ll stay here a little longer.... I need to collect myself.“

Kamisato Ayato

“Have you ever tried to keep water in your cupped hands? No matter how hard you try, it will leak, and eventually there will be nothing left. That is how i feel. No matter the effort i spend to keep face, i feel myself showing through the cracks.“

Tighnari

“My kind mate for life. When we find the one, we stay together for as long as time permits, and we love completely and as passionately as we can. Unfortunately i do not believe that any amount of time would have been long enough for me to have accepted their death.“

Cyno

“It’s quiet now. No one laughs at my jokes- there's no jokes for me to laugh at. I’m not even sure if i can think normally anymore. I’m thinking of resigning once again. I need to think about things.“

Scaramouche

“All you humans are weak... But, not- not (Y/N). For the first time i think i understand that love and kindness don't make you weak, but using that to your own advantage does. So i’ll hunt out every one of those bastards and make them beg for death. Then we’ll see who’s weak.“

[actually-a-fish]

The Mitchells vs. The Machines

Hello! I like watching movies. Ideas get stuck in my head while watching them and i need them out of my brain. This is my 4/9/24 viewing of The Mitchells vs. The Machines. I like cartoons :)

This will have spoilers

Without further ado... my thoughts chronologicall

PROLONGED EYE CONTACT DODODODOD

The main VA is Abbie Jacobson (aka Princess Tiabeanie Mariabeanie de la Rochambeau Grunkwitz)

this family reminds me so much of mine minus depression and a commitment to a cult :)

girl its probably a good thing you weren't at the tech reveal. be nice to the siris, alexas and echos in your life...

i kinda wanna watch that robot movie with Will Smith and hot robots now

THEY ALL HAVE STIMS GUYS

running away from your crush and saying you hate them is so real

"what are these? robutts?"

HES TAKING NOTES

I like that the new genre of villian is a tech bro and AI

I dont like this bit about wifi, we are dependent on it yeah but people can adapt pretty well. Well some I guess.

why do dads always suggest eating the family pet?

i cannot express how autistic this family is. its constant, not demeaning or the butt of a joke. just a family being a family. I have flappy hands about it.

aww dads do love to teach their kids to drive stick shift

i do like Eric and Barbara

the robots are shooting the humans into space, that's their plan and honestly i've been saying we should shoot garbage into space for a while now so im glad somone is finally doing it

there are cute edits done by katie through the whole movie and they deserve a shout out

I knew touch screen fridges were a bad idea

NOT FURBYS WTF WHY THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE

"your whole lives i wanted to save you from disater and this is the moment ive been waiting for" - Rick (and also my father)

KATIE DRAWS ON HER HANDS TOO OMG THE DETAILS. THERE IS SO MUCH STIMMING AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY EVERY TIME

This is good family bonding, but no tears yet.

unfortunately i think the family bonding was to good. The dad left a sentimental object in katies bags and now im convinced hes gonna sacrifice himself to save the rest of the family.

now im crying. :) if you watched i bet you could guess which part.

oof crying again! a Twofer!

This movie may be healing my childhood trauma. I miss my parents. They were just doing their best

THE CALL BACKS. THE CULMANATION! ITS MAKING ME EMOTIONAL IM SORRY

thank you game grumps for introducing me to the song "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was (not was)

An accurate compilation of watching my coworkers and professors use computers

uh oh they got little brother, Linda is gonna rip out someone's heart

OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA GET MAD

ERIC AND BARBARA SUPREMECY

damn i need to see my family so i can remember why i hate them bc this is to sweet for me

TEAM E AND B! TEAM E AND B!

How long of a break between the entire world being abducted by robots and everyone going back to work was? Do you think this was like their pandemic

"My name is Monchi, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair"

THEYRE BASED ON A REAL FAMILY (and the whole family has "im easily overstimulated" hair cuts, its so relatable)

It's cheesy. full of stuff you know is meant for kids and that corporate made them do. but I really liked it. I know the whole bit is that the family is weird. I don't really like that they used the word weird instead of autistic but i can kinda understand why they had to do it. i found myself relating the characters constantly. The way they run away when things get overwhelming, communicate through their interests, stim when they have big feelings (they all have their own, and most of them have a couple they do) and the way the situation their in affects them. It is not perfect representation but it did a good enough job for me.

If you read all the way through thank you! If you have any formatting tips please lmk!

Also I feel the silly need to add, this is all my opinion, and my opinion is not fact! It's okay if we don't agree and if you're nice, I would love to hear about it :)

[e-icreator23]

Vent again. If you cant read it. Wither: You can't let him do that! He can't be banging or throwing stuff! You think its funny but its- D-d:You need to stop being a drama queen. It doesn't mean anything! Stop it. Where did banging and throwing things get bad? (where did you get that from?!) He's not doing any harm Wither:But it sounds like he's trying to break his controller! [He has a PS5] B-o: WHAT DO YOU CARE?! YOU HAVE A MASK ON AND YOUR A JUNIOR! ITS CRINGY! Wither: And you're a sophomore! You should know not to- B-o: Shut up! No one asked! Aren't you embarrassed?!! This is what happened right now. My brother started to rage at a game and from my room, it sounded like he was banging his controller. I came out to see whats going on and he was yelling before this and hitting something. I told my sister to go to her room and that he was acting stupid. He got mad and insulted me and said I am a nobody and I am embarrassing. My sister got scared from him yelling so got my dad who was drinking. He came it and my brother went back to the game he was getting mad at for loosing and he laughed about it. I told him what happened and he still laughed about it. I got mad since he lets them both get away with things like this and I am tired of the insults. I hate that once they know I will be married to a woman that they won't want me around since like my brother has said and I shit you not he said this word for word "FAGS ARE MENTAL. THEY AREN'T HUMAN" My dad constantly wonders why one of his cousins who came out to them is never around, I can't blame, not at all. It's because none of them support them! They outright show they disappointed in them! My brother says that my dad and him HATE people who are gay or anything relating to it with a passion. They are more concerned of how they look than about anything else, my brother has to constantly remind me that I am more on the bigger side and that he's so embarrassed about it! He said that he will never say hi to me during school even when I say hi, he acts like he doesn't know me and says to others that he doesn't know me. He likes to make fun of me saying I won't get anyone. And even if I do, they will leave me since they never really loved me. I am so tired of this. I want to leave so bad but If I try to leave with another family member then my dad will start to guilt trip me and I don't want to leave because I don't want to leave my friends yet. I know I'm a damn disappointment to them. I know that shit but I have to be reminded over and over and over again. No wonder why I'm distant with them. I try so hard at school to make them proud but it can never make it last. I won first place somewhere big in my state but just "oh nice". thats it. I get Honor roll. "good and stay like that" I am so tired of it and I know I am still gonna push myself to try and get good grades but I know nothing I do will ever be good enough to make them proud of me. They ask why is it hard for me to talk to people, no shit its hard because If I say anything wrong to them, I would get hit. I would get yelled at for saying anything wrong. They told me I am not allowed to tell anyone about my situation, I can't talk to my councilors about this, I cant ask for help. Not even online. If I say something wrong, I feel like they would hate me. If I do something they don't like then I'm the piece of shit. I know they have said that I can talk to them but I feel like I cant since I dont know what they will say. I am scared, I am so fucking scared. I know non of them are bad or anything I am just terrified of them since they are so amazing and I can never amount to them in any way. I don't know what to do. If I eat how I normally do, im told to stop. My health problems are my fault and yeah maybe they are. but still at least be semi nice but no he makes fun of me that I cant breath right. To them ADHD and autism arent real. it's fake so people can be lazy. If I am friends with anyone who's like that then im the weirdo. I'm stupid to even get near them. im so done.

[angelicpersonals]

I'm tired of being epileptic

A lot of the time I cant find lyric videos or lyric videos are taken down. I'm so sick and tired of new music videos being full of flashing lights. I have seen numerous people who aren't epileptic claim its "too much" makes them dizzy, distracts from the MV because its constant in so many songs I've seen as of late both in independant music and in kpop. For the past 3 years. It makes it impossible (Unless an audio or lyric video is available) for epileptics to enjoy music. And a lot of the times Audios or lyric videos some a visualizers which have the exact same problem.

If thats not bad enough heres some more issues Youtube Ads: I constantly get ads with flashing lights for goddamned phones or other crap no matter how many times I report it to youtube and remind them people have epilepsy. And while yes adblocker is an option youtube let me remind everyone is f*cking with adblock and not everyone has the money to throw down on a sub to youtube to remove ads and shouldn't have to for a DISABILITY

Youtube Shorts: Nowadays its become so common for certain popular creators I will not name drop, to use rapid flashing lights in their videos. I have reached out to them via emails to say "Hey can you add an epilepsy warning to the beginning if possible because shorts autoplay and flashing lights can seriously harm epileptics. Never get any response email back and they keep doing it, even when I get other people to email them to get their attention.

Tiktoks: Not all tiktoks with flashing lights get the epilepsy warning on them, I dont know if creators can set this so im not going to b*tch about the creators for this but I still want to bring up this IS an issue. Tumblr: Yes even here has had issues where people won't tag posts with epilepsy warnings putting epileptics who are trying to avoid said things at risk.

Why is this all a problem? Because people with epilepsy can potentially DIE from seizures. It doesn't take much to add a quick epilepsy warning on videos, Ads SHOULD be regulated for safety in the first place because they are FORCED. This is peoples LIVES that people are carelessly playing with. Oversight is one thing. But theres no excuse for ignoring the issue. Why can't people stop to think: What if this was my parent, my friend, my sister, brother, cousin, child in some cases because some of these ppl are parents. My family didn't realize I was epileptic until I had a MAJOR seizure because all I had before that was SILENT seizures, the type where you look like you are fine but you are unresponsive.

So it could be literally ANYONE they know. yet they still are so careless. its not like epilepsy is a new thing either. So I do not understand WHY people are so irresponsible.

TL;DR creators and sites are being irresponsible putting lives at risk and its not hard to just regulate ads for safety and add a few second warnings to the beginning of videos.

[okthatsgreat]

i am GRABBING YOU and SHAKING YOU. did you know your mikane is the craziest. did you. did you know that. last chapter drove me so far up the wall i am still yet to calmndown...... poor mikan. imagine ur emotionally repressed gf runs away again only for two children w the exact same problem to come barging through your door.

i have so many things to ask........ but i shan't ask them all. please please tell me anything about ur ideas for mikane in general or in oppdmh bc they're the most crazy insane yuri ever. OH RIGHT YEAH AND. the actual question. obviously opddmh mikan still struggles with anxiety, but how do you think she's changed in mentality and issues after everything that came after danganronpa? any issues outgrown or gained? morphed in some way? love ur work so much every time. u made me pause my utena rewatch and that is such a big compliment u do not even know

GRABS YOU SHAKES YOUSHAKESYOU SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU

talking about this fic, as always putting the answer under read more for people who dont wanna read lol!!!!!!!

OHHH MY GOD IM INSANE ABOUT THEMM. went into this fic knowing that i wanted mikan and akane to have their own povs because i thought theyd bring different perspectives, especially in comparison to makoto's pov. i knew what i wanted mikans story to involve and i had a vague idea about akanes (fun fact rantaro was originally gonna be kaito LOL) and then like two chapters into writing mikans point of view i was like waiiiitttt a minute. wait a minute hold on. what if they were in love. and what if they were so not normal about it

it made so much sense for the story i wanted both of them to tell that immediately i went into my notes and started pivoting a few things LMFAO. i just think that their relationship (or their pining at least lol) is able to neatly underline some of their core themes/issues in this fic, whether that be for better or for worse. through the lens of their relationship im hoping to convey mikan's sheer capacity of worry and insecurity, how she finds it difficult to move through life without another person to rely on even if she has done a bit of growing since the simulator and how that dependency affects her. and then of course akane's emotional repression is highlighted through their relationship (her forgetfulness, her inability to communicate, LEAVING all of the time), but also it's a great reminder of just how protective akane can get even if she isn't there. not to mention how worried she gets about mikan despite her absolute refusal to worry.

they care about each other to the point of unspoken codependency and while it is absolutely making both of them feel safe and happy it is still a reminder of their underlying problems. akane would do anything to avoid somebody thinking she is weak enough to be cared for. but all mikan can do is care and care and care about her. both of them are so willing to shoulder the problems of the other but neither of them want to be seen as burdens, so all they end up doing is silently dance around their issues until eventually somebody caves. INSANE YURI MOMENT

mikan still absolutely has anxiety LMFAO and dare i say..... she's...... kind of better????????????????????? or maybe not actually. going into this i had to think about how to write these characters in a way that felt true to who they are but also remembering that they have GROWN, even if danganronpa really makes them feel as if they havent lol. this is a mikan who has likely endured years of therapy, even if that therapy is SHIT at best. this is also a mikan who has been shoved into the spotlight rather forcibly and has basically been given the choice to adapt or die. so i probably shouldnt say that shes "better", it's more that shes had to modify herself to fit this new lifestyle of hers. she hasnt been given much of a choice, and i imagine shes had a few years to really fuck up and struggle before reaching this point. she is constantly in the spotlight and basically always under scrutiny, so ive sort of swayed away from her wanting attention and focused more on how she reacts to this attention-- shes grown bitter from the negative and she doesnt think she deserves most of the positive. it's this hurricane of problems with mikan and a lot of it involves her own struggle to view herself as a good person, which stems heavily from the insecurities she already had in her game and intensified by what happened outside of it. years of being seen as this iconic chapter three killer has absolutely worn her down a bit, but there is still a part of her that yearns for control over her life and the people surrounding it. she is still SO anxious, ive tried to really hammer home quite a few recurring symptoms with her like her nervous tics, sickness/lack of appetite, hair shedding, etc!! and she is extremely bitter about how shes been treated, too, which im hoping to elaborate on further on down the line. however she really, REALLY can not be passing out in front of cameras or throwing any fits about the exploitation shes endured since shes been a teen because the company she works for wont accept anything that isnt on brand. and underneath it all shes still that scared little kid that desperately wants to please

she's an older mikan but she is still very much hurting, not necessarily any less but in a way that's a bit different if that makes sense :)

you are SO FUCKING NICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333

[kajinovaa]

i need some space to vent bark just for a lil tiny bit and yall can completely ignore the shit outta this if you want. im gonna just do a tinsy bit of journaling like my tarot cards suggested. nothing super drastic happened, nor is it aimed at anyone in particular, and no– iM NOT GOING ANYWHERE BDKBDNDDNDJND

--------------------------------------------

its just late night thoughts. thoughts that kinda got nudged to life over a very small encounter, but its done its job properly by reminding me of something i feel like i need to ingrain into my head. a lesson i havent yet processed properly hard enough for it to feel like its fully a part of me

i got reminded of the absolute bs ive gone through in my life, shit thats so unbelieveably unacceptable but i stayed with it cuz it was mostly a part of autistic masking but also cuz i had a big heart that i wore constantly on my sleeve. greatest lesson ive learnt.

ive bowed and bent over backwards for all the people ive met in my life, and now im coming to the deep realization that i dont have to give a single fuck? like i dont need to care so much about other people's emotions/feelings when i never gave mine proper nuturing??? its so fucking frustrating that its gotten like this and i wish i couldve told my younger and more naïve self that its 100000% okay to be selfish for once??????? i wanna fucking swing at something so bad over this but yknow what? im just gonna have fun instead

so fuck expectations, fuck standards, fuck tryna sound nice— im tired. im infuriated and exhausted. ive been tryna act fair when in actuality that was the biggest mistake of my life. like, the stars gave me strength on my day of birth. the legends sing of destined power like im supposed to express with and yet here ive always been, getting drowned out by other people's priorities and cleaning up after their messes. this debilitating path of being submissive for others isnt the shit for me. it never was in the first place, so im done. im done being nice for the sake of being nice.

dont like that aint giving you attention? not my issue. dont like that im elsewhere and you cant keep up? learn how to walk then cuz i aint holding your hand. dont like that im not sharing my happiness with you? it was never meant for you to have in the first place.

i started my saturn return this year, bday happened several days ago, im only just feeling the brunt of the energies right now. i wanna fuck around, have my chaotic runs and be cringe but free dating my fictional bfs

please stop thinking im the same person i was years ago cuz im not. im the monster you feared you didnt have come across and learn how fast you can get piledrived the moment i deem you useless in my life. sorry but not sorry, its for your own good. somethings in life you were never meant to walk alongside with. i still wanna thank you for being another cobblestone in my path.

goodbye, past life. it was a good run while i still had the tolerance for that hot mess of growth. its my turn to be selfish for once

[exoticalmonde]

Two new runs and I actually did more terrible than ever, but lessons learned. This is what I get for not paying enough attention to my own accomplishments and instead asking to be aided constantly.

Traps from Trap Masters do not, in fact, 'see' there are enemies coming and let them just walk through. Maybe I shouldn't have pi ked the option that gives me random chips for operators when I cant even plan ahead on the ones I pick myself.

Same goes for the Sobbing Doggo...

Just what I needed, Jessica bleeds out profusely like a pricked water baloon.

Well, I died in the second floor...

New run!

I know it will be better because Ebenholz is with me in spirit.

Well now I know I'm being set up too, this is rediculous. I got the other mini boss map 4 times in a row and now you decided 'Haha, Eve got used to it, might as well spice it up!'

I forgot they need to be killed at the same time to die.

THAT'S SO FUNNY SJSKSJZISK

We're taking it with us.

This is where I die. The wrath of Siracusans got to me.

But hey, at least I finally got enough materials to M3S3 my fav little Aegir so he could become viable in the upcoming events. Can't believe the skip between lvl60 and lvl80 was of significance, leveling up 6 stars I dont actually consider husbands feels like a waste, like E2ing 5 stars.

But then again my first lvl90 M9 was Ebenholz maybe 4 or 5 months ago and now it's Chongyue's turn... Right after I finish Ling. Who is Lvl 60 and I'm just waiting for that sweet trust 100 to be able to get her Module so the dragons don't cost 24DP

And because farming today was good, Ifrit is gonna be the next target for E2, just in case.

Hope Dr. Pinkie doesn't yell at me to level her up. Shining is doing such a good job at E2 lvl1 you can't possibly blame me for doubting.

And speaking of doubt,

I have this very fun story from yesterday. You see, Dr. Kryo is a very intelligent and good friend. We've spent a lot of time together and we learn from each other. A lot of definitely good things have been learned yesterday.

I learn he is too lucky for his own good and might be mooching out of our collective luck bucket because this is rediculous.

He learns that I am a whiny little apricot.

Because I had a dream that same evening I got Silverash from now here. I adore Silverash and he was definitely on the priority list of people I want rewlly really badly. Something something big brother sindrome happening in my head.

Anyways, I wake up and Im sad it's not a reality. I tell the chat, then bring it up again with Kryo. I really want Silverash, Gnosis, Stainless. I think these are the ones I don't have yet from the 6-stars.

He falls silent.

I hear the sound: tintintintintinting!

I fall silent.

Me: "Who is that, Kryo?"

Kryo: "Eve..."

Me, voice cracking: "Go on. Which 6 star is that?"

It was GNOSIS.

What a premonition.

We hope I lose the rolls on the Monster Hunter banner though and I get one of the husbands + Noir Cornealter since that is the one I'm rooting for.

I think the next banner is Guiding ahead so I have time to save up some more. Get the medals, get a little spike on the originium crystals because I have plans for skins and only 14 of those golden boys in my pocket.

...

Lumen Module time!

His story is so adorable actually. As adorable as it can be with the reminder at the end that Iberia is not having a fun time. Why do the worst cataclysms always happen to the most advanced counties? Reminds me of that one meme of a poster that said: 'Don' t eat in the library, it attracts ants. And if they are in the library they will learn to read, become smart and take over the world.'