#and yes. there is a running sims cult.

[flowers-that-sing]

me making ethel cain in the sims so she can change her own ending in preachers daughter

[cconfusedkat]

how many people does your lamb need, Jesus.

"HI GUYS IN TODAYS SIMS 4 CULT OF THE LAMB PLAY THROUGH WE ARE SPEED RUNNING THE ONE HUNDRED MARRIED FOLLOWERS CHALLENGE!!!! INCLUDING ALL 4 BISHOPS AND NARINDER!!!!"

GREEDY LITTLE LAMB LEAVE SOME OF THE BISHOPS FOR THE REST US-

They're all either polyam or ambiamory so technically they're not neccesarily stealing all the Bishops from the followers (maybe minus shamura and heket, heket isnt too interested while shamura will straight up eat you for getting too close to them)

But can we still make fun of Lamb? Yes absolutely its encouraged /jjjj

[nayialovecat]

The Ink Demonth 2024 - Day 14. Steam

I considered various ideas. I had in mind this corridor in the third chapter, where there is a loud steam engine, which once made me not notice that Bendy was approaching (that corridor leading probably to the destroyed Little Miracle Station). I considered referring to tea again (continued negotiations). I was thinking about doing something with the snow and the exhaled steam. Summary: lots of ideas. And then the first idea I had when I saw this theme came back to me - me buying/playing BATIM for the first time (i.e. Steam as gaming platform). But that one was quite boring, so I decided to modify the idea - and this is what I came up with.

In case anyone didn't get it from the descriptions… Each of us wants to play one of my three favourite games on Steam, which are (in order of like): Me - Don't Starve Together. Sammy - Cult of the Lamb, of course. I know he has approached this game jealously and aggressively so far, but he has already processed his thousand stages of grief. And Bendy - The Sims 4. Unfortunately, BATIM currently finds itself off the podium. I still like to come back to it - but only to chapter 2 and sometimes 4. Yes, I'm looking for someone to play Don't Starve Together TOGETHER. Unfortunately, it's hard to find other NORMAL players, plus I'm a very slow, one could say "inept" player who doesn't care about breaking time-records in building a base, defeating bosses, etc.

While drawing this picture, I discovered two unpleasant things. The first is that on the paper in this notebook, my beloved uni-pins treated with bambino crayons smudge terribly. Therefore, although I planned to colour Sammy and Bendy as they look in our world (gray suspenders, different shades of yellow for the skin or the mask, etc.) I gave up on it and made them all yellow. Sad. For comparison - on the printer paper I use to draw SATIM stripes, I had no such problem. And secondly, even a few hours after drying nail polish, when you run your nail across the paper, the nail polish will leave a colourful line on it that cannot be erased. Damn!

Fun fact. Apart from the fact that I lost weight in this picture (I came to the conclusion that why should I force myself to draw myself fat when in my mind's eye I don't see myself as fat at all?), my outfit and appearance (hair, nails, etc.) are very appropriate to what I was looking like today. Yes, currently my hair is green-blue. But as soon as the dye is washed off, I'm going to go back to purple - it's the one I feel best in.

PS. Yes, I know I screwed up the computer mouse, my husband already reminded me that mice have tails at the top, not at the bottom… I use a wireless one every day, I could have made a mistake, damn it!

[pudding-parade]

OK, I'm sorry for posting about politics. Truly. I'll post something sims-related later to make up for it. But for me this is local politics, and Ken Buck -- a man with whom I vehemently disagree, politically, but whom I respect for his commitment to democracy and his stance on the 2020 election not being stolen and for his continuing denouncement of the January 6th insurrection despite things like death threats made against himself and his family by MAGA loonies -- has made my day today. I have literally (and I mean that in the true sense of the word) been spending my afternoon/evening periodically chortling from sheer schadenfreude, so I just have to memorialize this and hope that I don't have to eat my words in November.

For context, or for non-USians, or for just the (slightly) shorter version if you don't want to look at the article....

Lauren Boebert, a super-"MAGA" fascist, is, depressingly, my current representative in the US House of Representatives. She only barely won reelection in 2022 despite the fact that, while I live in a very blue, hippie spot of it, the district has historically leaned heavily conservative because most of the district is made up of very Christian rural ranchers, who are conservative, yes, but in their case, generally speaking, traditionally so. They're mostly not the weird, Trump-flag-waving, MAGA-cult breed of it. So, Bobo only won reelection in 2022 by a few hundred votes and, since then, Adam Frisch, the centrist (which, by non-US standards, is right-wing) Democrat who opposed her and is running again, has only gotten more popular, as the House has proceeded to get absolutely nothing done, despite having a majority, precisely because of the shenanigans of MAGA idiots like Bobo.

So, Bobo decides that for the 2024 election, she'll instead run for the district east of mine, which was Mr. Buck's and which is even more conservative. She announced this decision right after Mr. Buck announced that he was retiring and would not be running for reelection. It was obvious that Bobo figured that that district would be a much easier win than the traditionally conservative district she very nearly lost.

But just today, Mr. Buck announced that instead of staying in Congress until this coming January, he's out as of this coming Friday. Which forces a special election in his district to fill his seat until January. Our (Democrat) state governor announced that that election will on the 25th of June, which is by law the longest delay possible, thus leaving Mr. Buck's seat empty until then, thus eroding the Republicans' majority until then. And if Bobo wanted to enter that special election, she'd have to resign from her current seat immediately because you can't be a sitting congressperson for one district and run for and be elected in another. Bobo has announced that she's not going to give up her current seat. And, for various reasons, all of this means that her chances of winning Buck's district in the regular election in November are now worse. And, she can't change her mind and run for reelection in the regular election for her current district, even if she wanted to, because the deadline for entering that election has recently passed.

So basically it's (probably) bye-bye Bobo! (And probably hello, Mr. Frisch for me, and while I'd be happier with a progressive, I'll take a centrist over a MAGA idiot any day.) And also? Mr. Buck, who has publicly stated that his party no longer aligns with his values, has not only screwed Bobo with his well-timed decision to "spend more time with his family," but also Mike "Christian Nationalist Fascist" Johnson, the Speaker of the House -- who, as the icing on the cake, was not informed of Mr. Buck's decision in advance of the announcement of it -- as his parting gift to MAGA.

Why? Because the Republicans now have a majority of just four or five seats, and, from next Friday until July, when Mr. Buck's (most likely Republican but perhaps not MAGA) successor will be sworn in, they now have one less, with the next election only eight months away and at a time when the Repugs need all hands on deck, so to speak, if they have any hope of getting anything at all done and, therefore, of having anything "positive" (by the conservative definition of that word) that they can talk up and run on from now until November. I'm pretty sure this big "screw you" was Mr. Buck's intention before he announced even his original retirement plans, so...Well played, Mr. Buck. Well. Played.

The question is: Will other House Republicans with integrity (there are a few left) follow Mr. Buck's lead? Could we see the House change majority before the 2024 election? It's not likely, but it's possible! And either way, this one conservative man dealt a blow to the MAGAs today, and I, as an extreme leftie, am here for it.

[ejsuperstar]

SOULBREAKER DIGEST: JANUARY 2024

Welcome to the first Soulbreaker Digest! I will be making posts overviewing the contents of each Soulbreaker Update video like I did for the teaser trailer! Now, go watch the latest Soulbreaker Update video:

Rest of my post will be under the cut! [<- Prev] [Next ->]

Welcome to the rest of the post! It will be split into a few questions, including game updates, answered Q&A questions, theories, and misc. I will not being going through the non Soulbreaker content discussed.

GAME UPDATES

Dice Death and Dating is now Soulbreaker! So much new content as been added that it really requires a rename! (exciting!!) And the reason for the name is spoilery

Nothing has been cut from DD&D (awesome!)

Gameplay has been being rebuilt to make it more satisfying, responsive and juicier.

The main gameplay loop is finished, work on story and other content is going to be worked on now to get it to a state for a public demo.

Work has been done on the Soulbreaker's sprites! And we got to see the walkcycles!

New enemies! Twiggy, Teevy? (Look the subtitles call it TV so IDK how it's actually spelt) and Burnie (also nicknamed explodey) They're more basic enemies and also "little bastard"

Story progress! The game is almost half written at this point, polished and all.

Q&A ANSWERS

Taken directly from the video!

Q: "Is our main character canonically nonbinary, or is it one of those "its you so they're whatever you are" type of deals." A: " I'm happy to confirm that it's the latter. The character is whatever you would like them to be and the reason for that is that, while the character does have their own personality and their own story, we still wanted it to be you because the game's also still got some dating sim in it and if there's like a weird disconnect then it just feels off, you know? So the character is very much you. It's whatever gender you prefer them to be honestly. It's kind of like Link from Zelda, technically link is a dude but you know." Q: "Will there be permadeath and if so how is that going to work story-wise?" A: "Permaddeath no not exactly, the game is a roguelite and the lite part means every time you die you get to retain some of your stuff. You'll be dying a lot probably, but if you've played games like Hades, you know, you can come back check in with some of the story elements that are maybe in the House of Hades, before you then gear up and head out to your next run. So kind of a similar flow like that for Soulbreaker." Q: "I remember when talking about Soulbreaker, Cult of the Lamb was mentioned as inspiration! Are there any other games that are noteworthy to its inspiration to give us a good idea of what we'll be seeing?" A: Definitely so, Cult of the Lamb is a huge one, I mean everybody at the studio loves it. But some of our other Inspirations for Soulbreaker are Binding of Isaac, Dead Cells, and Hades, because they're all fantastic games, we all love them, and really we're just combining them into like the Bound Dead Cult of Hades kind of thing. It's going to be so much fun, and if you like any of those games or you're curious about them you're going to love Soulbreaker, so yes..." Q: "What will our ranged attack arsenal be like? Will we be able to attack at range at all?" A: "Yes. So you'll be able to cast all sorts of spells, and there's actually currently some talks in the studio about adding a dedicated ranged weapon as well, so, yes on all fronts! Melee and ranged you guys." Q: "Is there going to be co-op play?" A: Not for now. This is an idea that's floated around, but to be honest, co-op takes a lot of time and effort to do right, and right now we're focusing on all the other features instead. This is one of those 'maybe wishlist features', would be cool if that could be added one day, but for now? No, it's not going to be in the game." Q: "Can we befriend the tarrasque?" Q: "No no no, the REAL question is, can we ROMANCE the tarrasque?" A:

Q: "What is the power system in the game? Like, can the little Soulbreaker guy unlock new abilities, or will it be more based on loot and magic items?" A: "Yes, both actually. There will be some upgrades you can unlock to permanently upgrade yourself, and there's also a ton of items, kind of like in Binding Of Isaac, that you can use to upgrade your player during a run. It should be amazing chaos." Q: "Will Gorthan and Julian be in the game?" A: "Absolutely! In fact, the whole Fool's Gold cast will be in the game. Gorthan and Julian will likely take the place of merchants / blacksmiths in the game.

Theories and Misc observations.

So, VERY interested in the name Soulbreaker being spoiler teritory! I'm guessing the term Soulbreaker means something tangible in the game, as in its a class or a title of some sort. Maybe it's related to the mercury infection, maybe you can fight it *because* you're the Soulbreaker.

Happy to have some of my questions answered. VERY happy Julian and Gorthan are back (Over the course of the development for @fghuntforthecrystals I have grown pretty attached to Julian and Gorthan). I hope we get lots of banter and stuff with them! I need more Julian content in my life!

Also interested in the mention that, while the Soulbreaker's gender is up to the player, they have their own personality and story. Was really hoping they would have their own personality and I'm very happy about it!

Congrats on my friend @alynwrench for getting their art shown in the Sands segment of the video at the start too! That's awesome! We love Alyn here!

Last but not least, excited to have the new enemy sprites, will be adding them into my Soulbreaker Kristal mod at some point, though I will have to guess on how they attack (minus Burnie) since we didn't see them in action.

Huge thanks to Felix and the rest of the Cryodon team for working hard on the game, and showing us the development. CANNOT wait for the kickstarter, I am so hyped. - EJ out.

[kudosmyhero]

The Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 3) #13: Spider-Men: No More

Read Date: July 03, 2023 Cover Date: March 2015 ● Writer: Dan Slott ● Penciler: Giuseppe Camuncoli ● Inker: Cam Smith ● Colorist: Justin Ponsor ● Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos ● Editor: Nick Lowe ◦ Devin Lewis ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers

Reactions As I Read: ● oooo, Otto’s gonna hear some stuff about himself he won’t like… ● and there’s Pavitr Prabhakar without his mask! I just read Spider-Man: India issue 1 right before this, in which I saw him without his mask for the first time. ● also, Spider-Gwen and Silk? I’m here for it. ● uh-oh

● did the Inheritors forget they can’t regenerate themselves? ● YES, fucking finally ● Otto-Spidey here with a much-needed, fairly savage pep talk! ● ok, now we’re getting somewhere! ● 👏👏👏👏👏

Synopsis: On Loomworld, the Inheritors convene and Jennix apologizes to Solus for failing to stop the destruction of the cloning facility, while Brix and Bora reveal that the Spiders have taken refuge on the one world they cannot go to. Solus dismisses them, saying that as long as they have the Scion, the Bride and the Other will come to them, stating that it is time to exterminate the Spider-Totems once and for all.

On Earth-3145, Uncle Ben explains that after being bitten by the spider, he became his world's Spider-Man, wearing a costume from his nephew. All went well until his nemesis, the Emerald Elf, figured out who he was and bombed the Parker household, killing May and Peter. Ben quit being Spider-Man, and when Ezekiel Sims told him he was in danger from Morlun, accepted his offer to stay in the bunker.

Peter and Otto press Ben for further details as to why he let the world fall into ruin, and Ben reveals that his world's Otto Octavius held the world at ransom with nuclear weapons, but there had been a mistake and the device detonated prematurely. While Otto expresses disbelief and dismay at his counterpart's actions, Peter takes out the scrolls Jessica sent them. Silk, feeling guilty for having gotten Jessica trapped, sneaks away, but is tailed by Gwen, who offers to join her in a rescue mission.

Paviitr Prabhakar and Billy Braddock have an existential discussion, with the former taking note of the overwhelming number of similarities between himself and the other Spider-Totems, especially the Peter Parker of Earth-616. Paviitr states that it feels like he and the others are echoes or distorted reflections of Earth-616 Peter, and therefore expendable in the coming battle. Billy refutes this, stating that while there are thousands of members in the Captain Britain Corps, each one is unique and special in their own way.

Otto, angered by the actions of his counterpart and frustrated by the others' inability to translate the Master Weaver's scrolls, furiously snatches the scroll away and activates his holographic assistant. When Peter notes that it has a striking resemblance to Anna Maria Marconi, Otto abruptly realizes that Peter is from later in the Earth-616 timeline and therefore that he regains control of his body, with Otto losing everything. Before he can do anything, Anya Corazon reveals that, due to her original powers having come from a cult that worships the Spider-Totems, she can read the text, stating that the first scroll contains a prophecy that the Inheritors will lose to the Spiders in 1000 years in the future, and that the only way of averting this fate is by sacrificing the Other, the Bride, and the Scion, which will stop new spider-totems from rising. Mayday furiously demands they travel to Loomworld and rescue her brother, and at that point the Spiders realize that Cindy has run off again. Peter contacts her to find her in the middle of a brawl with multiversal pirates, one of whom destroys her teleporter.

On Earth-802, Kaine angrily rebukes Earth-1610 Jess' attempts to console him over Ben's sacrifice, traveling to Loomworld. The Inheritors, sensing the presence of the Other and the Bride, go on the offensive. On Earth-3145, Anya states they can use the contents of the second scroll, which contains Karn's life story, to sway him to their side and turn things in the Spiders' favor. Peter contacts Kaine, who reveals he is on Loomworld and intends to kill the Inheritors himself before tapping into the Other's full power. Peter contacts his away teams, ordering them to rendezvous at Loomworld ASAP, shouting down Miguel O'Hara's protests. Earth-1610 Jess reveals that she's stuck at Jennix's base, but Miles calls in and says his squad will pick her up.

On Loomworld, Kaine transforms into a massive Man-Spider as the Inheritors arrive. Morlun remarks that the last time he faced the Other, when it was hosted by Peter, it was nowhere near as powerful, and Solus remarks it is due to it being in the Center of Reality. The Other impales Solus on multiple spines mid-boast, killing him, and Morlun attacks in a rage, ripping off one of the Other's legs and stabbing it through the head, stating that they don't need it alive, only its blood.

Elsewhere, Jess berates Cindy for destroying two teleporters in a single day. Gwen tries to break up the argument, but Verna, Brix, and Bora attack with multiple Green Goblins.

On Earth-3145, Mayday snaps at Peter to leave Uncle Ben, who refuses to suit up, behind. Despite Ben dejectedly remarking that Mayday is right, Peter reminds him that "with great power must also come great responsibility", revealing that he kept the costume and stating that his Uncle Ben made all the difference. Otto angrily snaps at Ben to toughen up, stating that he lost more times than he won but that didn't keep him from fighting. Otto's rant inspires Ben to put the costume on one last time, and the Spider-Army sets off for the final battle.

(https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Amazing_Spider-Man_Vol_3_13)

Fan Art: Spiderman: Into the Spider-verse by Hammling

Accompanying Podcast: ● Amazing Spider-Talk - episode 13

[thesimwiththedragontattoo]

Welcome to Simton Asylum, home to my first run-through of The Asylum Challenge! You can read the full rules at the link, but the gist of the challenge is that one player-controlled sim is trapped in a house with 7 other sims who are completely autonomous. The player-controlled sim must survive the house fires, aspiration failures, and general chaos caused by their roommates' whims. The only way she can leave is by achieving her lifetime want.

Now, let's meet the sim trying to escape the chaos:

Meet Luna! A neat and friendly knowledge Sim who's just trying to learn it all—literally, her lifetime goal is to master every skill!

I'm in the middle of playing this challenge (I only got brave enough to make a Simblr recently, so I have to play a little catch-up here) and was getting bored of just grinding skills all day, as nothing especially chaotic was happening with Luna sitting around reading 24/7. Online, other players were seeing more drama with their sim going to work most days, so I decided to give Luna a second way out: Reach the top of the Science career! Here's where she currently stands on both goals:

As you can see, she's making decent leeway on the skills, but still has a long way to go with some. (The poor, shy girl has absolutely no rizz) While she only just started her Science career, her impressive skillset has gotten her promoted already, and while I was doing this photoshoot of all the characters I actually rolled another positive chance card for her! No promotion, but a sizable chunk of change for her to spend when she can finally leave this place.

Now, it's time to meet the sims she's cohabitating with! Despite everyone hogging the bathroom, playing the bass at odd hours, and constantly getting the flu, Luna has actually managed to make some meaningful relationships!

Posie, an outgoing grump with dreams of a happy family, hit it off with Luna easily as they share the same serious disposition and love of reading. While I don't control Posie, she's made friends at community lots while I play other challenges—including befriending the leader of my cult challenge. I've decided that if Posie ends up accepting the invite into the cult, she's allowed to leave the asylum, (although will she really be free?) but if she's still there when Luna reaches her goals, I'll be making Posie my next player-controlled character in the asylum.

Poor (both physically and emotionally) Van is a fortune-seeker struggling to survive the asylum. Luna mostly finds him outside, coping with aspiration failure by begging for money from passerby. His life isn't all cardboard signs and visits from the therapist—Luna's taken a romantic interest in him and they try to steal away to flirt with what little privacy they can scrape together.

Normally when I do challenges with large groups of sims like this, I create the sims based on specific aesthetics/subcultures. I've completely blanked if I did this with my asylum group, or if I just went a little wacky in create-a-sim. That being said, I do remember giving Van a vampire-esque style on purpose. If he makes it out of here, he's destined to have a run-in with certain creatures of the night Downtown.

Of course, there's supposed to be 8 sims trapped in here, so let's meet the rest:

Layla, Stoker, and Lala. Yes, I know Layla and Lala are really similar names. No, I don't remember my reasoning for doing this. You can check out their aspirations and personalities above. I'll share more about them as I blog through the rest of the challenge, but the most notable thing about them now is that Stoker will literally not stop playing the bass day and night. The reason Luna is so low on creativity is almost singlehandedly because this dude is addicted to jamming.

"Aren't there supposed to be 8 sims in this challenge?" you might ask. "We've only met six!"

Yeah, so, about that... It turns out the tip to create more chaos by having your playable sim go to work is very true. As soon as Luna started heading off to the lab, some of the more... distractable sims started consistently setting the kitchen on fire.

Meet Cyndee and Trish. Er—what remains of them. While Luna's made it home from work in time to call the fire department for more kitchen fires, sweet Cyndee got a little too close to the flames and passed on to the other side. She's actually the only fatality so far from the now-almost-daily kitchen fires!

What about Trish? Oh, uh. Well, this is embarrassing for her, but she had a run-in with Cyndee's ghost that proved fatal. It actually happened very unexpectedly—I was watching Luna watch the stars when she suddenly cancelled her action to run downstairs and sob. She didn't even have time to plead with the Reaper!

Currently, all living residents have rolled a want to bring Trish back from death (sorry, Cyndee) so I may have to cheat the Ressurect-O-Nomitron into the game (no one's in the right career track to unlock it otherwise) to see what happens if the asylum has to deal with an autonomous zombie on top of everything else!

I have a decent selection of pictures already from the start of this challenge, which I hope to share on here soon, alongside live updates. Will Luna get out of this place? Can Posie escape via weird lesbian cult? How can anyone else build creativity skill with freakin' Stoker jamming day and night?

[treesap-blogs]

Sorry about being gone for an extra week! Finally putting up my TRR Reviews, starting off with “Hell Followed a with Us” by Andrew Joseph White!

Hello, Tumblrians! As some of you may know, I participated in Sim Kern’s Trans Rights Readathon this year! I only posted about it on my Instagram, since I don’t use Tumblr that often, but I read 5 books within the original deadline. The first of which was Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White.

Mandatory summary time! Hell Followed With Us follows Benji, a teenage trans boy turned into a bioweapon called The Seraph by the religious cult he grew up with (and is now on the run from). He’s found by a group of ragtag queer folks from the Alcheson Youth Center(affectionately called the ALC), but must keep a secret: the bioweapon virus’s been mutating him into a new entity altogether, and if he loses his humanity to it, he runs the risk of the group’s leader, the mysterious Nick, killing him. (Body horror ensues.) But Nick’s got secrets of his own, too. Can Benji trust him, as the cult and background he’s just left behind starts to catch up with him?

This is definitely a book that you can only read if you’re a) in the right headspace for it, and b) have a strong stomach. The (frequent) body horror and gore is both beautifully and vividly described, throughout the story our protagonist, Benji, is fighting to survive, and a multitude of tough subject matter is covered relating to toxic relationships and religious trauma/bigotry. But, I found myself so engrossed in the pages, and finished this in such a short period of time(this was something I read in under a day, started in the backseat of my drive to school and ended by my bedside lamplight). 

The premise itself was so interesting, and I just loved all of the horror elements, the parallels to the current day in how religion is used to oppress, how current events and the censorship of trans individuals and their creative works make this book an incredibly, disturbingly relevant read right now. Seraph was also written interestingly: oddly, it tied into Benji’s gender identity, as he began to embrace his transformation and view it as a way of separating himself from the female body he’d been born with. This was demonstrated in the final fight scene, with him being a little disoriented by his brief transformation back to his original human body, and how he got to eventually tell the rest of the youth center teens about being turned into a bioweapon (and choosing not to use those abilities to benefit the cult that raised him). Depending on how you view or analyze that, it can be a bit muddy, but I personally liked that approach; there’s something so fascinating about queerness being reclaimed in horror, after years of queer-coded villains and queerphobic archetypes within the genre. I enjoyed that in some of the subtext for The Honeys’ ending, and I liked it here. (Yes, before you ask, It Came From The Closet is on my TBR, lol.) 

I do wish, though, that the other queer kids within the youth center were fleshed out a little more. Found Family was such an important part of this book, as both of our main characters (Benji and Nick) came from unaccepting backgrounds(although the latter’s backstory isn’t revealed until much later), and both queer joy and survival is an essential part of this story. If we had a little bit more time, if the book was a little longer, we could have more time to really become deeply invested in all of these characters (well…except for that one asshole who I couldn’t wonder if he had an infamous truscum commentary YouTuber as his namesake). A bit of a side note, though, I think that this was the first book I’d read that featured a character that used neopronouns?!?! I use ze/zir along with he/they, so it meant so much to see that representation! And xe was also one of the highlights of the youth club, imo, xe had a talk-no-shit attitude that is useful in an environment like this.

I don’t know what else to comment about this, except for that I loved it a lot! I don’t know if “enjoyed” is the right term considering its heavy subject matter, but it had a satisfying ending.

(And here are some pictures I made of Benji, as I was making fanart for TRR.)

Book Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars! 

(Book content/trigger warnings: Graphic body horror and gore, violence; murder and mass murder including children, arson, warfare, and terrorism, transphobia; deadnaming and forced de-transition, return to abusive relationship and victim self-blame, ableism, religious abuse/Christian terrorism combined with elements of eco-fascism, emetophobia warning throughout, some instances of racism.) 

(Andrew Joseph-White has a comprehensive list of trigger warnings in his Goodreads “review”, with more general warnings included at the start of the book.)

~Paz, signing off!

Trans Rights Readathon Reviews: 1/5

[envihellbender]

A Magnus-Archives vessel for The Flesh (or any other appropriate entity), who can eat endlessly, and whose cult has fattened up excessively by feeding them sacrificial victims.

Characters: Jonathon Sims/The Archivist (The Magnus Archives), The Beast/Greyson (TMA OC)

Content: extreme weight gain, horror, mind control

——————

As was the case with most of Jon’s knowledge, he couldn’t explain how he knew that Martin had gotten lost in the cave he approached. All he could say was he just felt this strong surging in his chest as he saw how hours ago Martin had been dragged kicking his feet and sobbing as he was held prisoner by a group of starved, dead eyed devotees. Jon entered, running his hands against the strangely wet stone walls as he made his way down the tunnels. It didn’t take long for him to reach a clearing, and when he did he wasn’t shocked by what he saw but he knew that Martin had been. In the centre of the caves was a gigantic mound of flesh. It was slick with sweat, his rolls sticking to the rocks that gathered around him. The creature’s navel was high above Jon’s head and the only reason he could see above it was because of the Eye. He was grotesquely elephantine, coated in pounds and pounds of adipose, cellulite, and rippling fat.

“The Archivist,” the beast grunted. Jon swallowed and looked up at the gigantic mound of flesh with a shaking chest, each breath clipping in his throat and burning his tonsils. His name used to be Greyson, a voice inside of Jon said. A young man shivering on the streets of London. A child being bundled into a ship from… a foreign country. Romania. Greyson doesn’t know, he doesn’t even know what his name used to be. Now he was nothing, nothing but gluttony.

“Where- where’s Martin?” Jon trembled, he wasn’t scared of the creature exactly, but more the amount of devotion and empty waste of gluttony that had sunk into the cave walls.

“Why ask? Why not make me tell you?” The beast was taunting him, and he made it obvious with his mocking tone and the way his slug like lips contorted into a smirk.

“There’s too much… too much you,” Jon said, his voice gasping in exhaustion from the weight of the thing in front of him. “t’s- It’s overwhelming. Too much Flesh. All I can feel from you is clips of disjointed memories and flesh. I know your old name, and you used to be starved and bony until Jared found you.”

“Greyson. Small child. Pathetic. Useless. This form is better. Stronger. Now I am, The King of Adipose.” Between each word the Beast gasped and wheezed, resulting in his starved dazed attending a flocking to him seemingly oblivious to Jon.

“That’s what your followers call you, yes?” Jon asked, screwing his eyes closed and trying to focus on any clear answers. The devotees barging past him made it more difficult, he tried ignoring them. All the voice inside him said was facts he couldn’t use, ones that didn’t quite make sense. Greyson being crushed underneath Jared’s body of dripping meat.

“Mhm,” the beast grunted. He rubbed one of his swollen rolls of fat with his sausage like fingers as one of his devotees sat on his neck roll and shoved large chunks of strange meat between his elephantine pink lips. “Good little things. Sweet little pups. Wriggling, squirming, little things. Dedicated to their king.”

“You starve. Despite your size and how you grow every day, you’re still hungry. Your devotees are even hungrier, starving themselves in order to-” Jon paled as an image entered his mind. As he looked upon the oddly shaped chunk of meat a starving young woman was forcing into the beast’s mouth he saw it morph between his eyes. It was a young man, a twenty year old who sat outside of a nightclub smoking a cigarette. His fingers began to shake as he became almost enthralled with the creature of fat as he realised that that young man was now being eaten like a steak..

“Something on your mind, Archivist?”

“How many?” Jon asked, his voice quiet and unfocused.

“You would have more than an idea than me.”

“How do you- have you-” Jon let out a spluttering noise as he tried to speak further but his words all caught in his throat as another image filled his head. Martin, alone, in a cell, crying out for Jon as he shook the bars. He saw starved devotees with no life behind their eyes opening the prison Martin found himself in, pinning him down and forcing food into his mouth as he sobbed. Jon felt his body grow hot and almost spread past the barrier of his skin. He grew in size, in his mind and sight, or maybe the beast shrunk beneath him. Jon felt his teeth as if they’d grown sharper. “Where is he?”

“I have no say over where my devoted followers send-”

“Don’t lie. They serve you. Every single one dedicates themelves to you. They do nothing with you knowing.”

“Perhaps, but they doesn’t mean I care about the specifics of the livestock they sacrifice to worship me”

Jon looked at the creature with bared teeth, becoming more animalistic by the second. He turned to a starving young man who desperately clinging to the creature’s fat, rutting against it like a dog.

“Where is he?” Jon commanded. The young man writhed and turned to him like separating from the being of fat was physically painful.

“The… upstairs cells,” he croaked. “He isn’t ready yet.” Jon felt his limbs shake, tightening his fists and ripping his gaze from the pathetic weak follower of the flesh. Jon desperately wanted to destroy everyone in the building but that didn’t matter right now. Martin was all that mattered. He needed to free him from this horrific human abattoir.

[guthraiel]

Complete Guthraiel fandom list updated to MARCH2024

aka i have issues and here is the list of reasons you should block me on everything

read below cut (in no particular order but the ones higher up are the ones im more into atm)

Any and all Middlearth related literature + the movies

Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss (fuck Vivziepop)

Genshin Impact

Honkai Star Rail, specifically the Stellaron Hunters

on the trend of hoyoverse games HI3rd

class of 09

the Dream SMP (fuck dream)

Kingdom Come : Deliverance (i am single and ready to mingle)

Valorant

Cult of the lamb OH MY GOD COTL

The Mafia trilogy (if you know this exists, marry me)

Undertale/Deltarune

Creepypasta/Slenderverse. yes im being for real

more specifically Marble Hornets

Ninjago (don't fucking ask)

DC, specifically Batman related media, specifically the robins, more specifically Damian

The Witcher

Young Sheldon

Modern Family

Kakegurui

Erased (erased from fucking existence apparently they removed it from netflix)

The Promised Neverland

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Cookie Run

Animal Crossing

Stardew Valley

South Park

the sims 4

i used to be into ACOTAR but meh. still like the fanart thooo

Lovejoy ANDDD THE LEAD SINGER IS AN ABUSER. okay!

any Wilbur Soot related media okay nevermind

[thesimsroyalheirs]

Welcome to the Ton! #2: The Countries

Sul Sul! Which country is on the brink of a civil war? Which monarch has come under scrutiny for their spending? Is it true that a princess cancelled her arranged marriage? We're looking at the 7 countries the current monarchs reside over, and delving ever so slightly into the tea.

Willow Creek

Current Monarch: HRH Queen Catherine Lawson Heir apparent: Crown Prince Benjamin Lawson Religious beliefs: Secular Closest relationship: Henford-On-Bagley Best known for: It's prestigous universities, and having the world's largest economy.

Willow Creek is a large country with a hard working people. This is said to be the biggest reason they have been so successful in maintaining their production and economic value. It is also home to several of the best colleges worldwide, cementing it's place as a leader in innovation across many industries.

Brindleton Bay

Current Monarch: HRH King Jai Panikkar Heir apparent: HRH Crown Princess Aishwarya Panikkar Religious beliefs: Cult of the Cow Plant Closest relationship: Oasis Springs Best known for: It's widespread support of animal rights and it's controversial acceptance of arranged marriages.

Brindleton Bay is for the most part, a rather humble and diplomatic country. That could be due to the fact it is the are the only country where the peaceful Cult of the Cow Plant is the largest religous organisation. King Jai has continued on his families legacy with religous tolerance and a quiet comfortableness, given the stability of it's economy.

Henford-On-Bagley

Current Monarch: HRH Isla O'Halloran Heir apparent: HRH Crown Prince Cian O'Hallaran Religious beliefs: Secular Closest relationship: Willow Creek Best known for: Being the home of the Grand Volpe Hotel - The meeting place of the High Table, and having the best agricultral industry worldwide.

Along with Mt. Komorebi & Willow Creek, Henford-On-Bagley is one of the three oldest countries. It's rich and fertile land gave way to a bustling village. That village grew to the country we know today, run by the very same sims that founded it: The O'Hallorans. It's lesser known (but equally as impressive) feat is the countries Healthcare system. The first of it's kind, it was then adopted by many others. Queen Isla has reigned for many years, but now everyone wants to know where her half brother, Teenager Prince Giovanni will fit into the political sphere...

Mt. Komorebi

Current Monarch: HH Empress Mayumi Ikeda-Tanaka Heir apparent: HRH Crown Prince Jun Tanaka Religious beliefs: Secular, however there is a known fringe group of Worship of the Watchers that reside here. Closest relationship: Windenberg Best known for: Being the home of the first ever Sim-lympics, and being the fashion & art capital of the world.

Is Mt. Komorebi steeped in tradition and older values? Yes. But is Mt. Komorebi also a modern leader in fashion and style, influencing most other countries? Mt. Komorebi is a country that boasts a finger in many financial pies, to the betterment of it's citizens. This was well fostered by the current Empress Mayumi, who came to power after the death of her husband Emperor Hideo. The world was expecting their son, Prince Jun, to come to power when he came of age, but that was years ago now...

Sulani

Current Monarch: HRH King Maleko Aperahama Heir apparent: HRH Crown Princess Ke'ala Aperahama Religious beliefs: Island Elementals Closest relationship: Brindleton Bay Best known for: Being the permier destination for holdaying sims.

Sulani has changed since the Civil War, between the Merfolk & Sims. Taking back their land, they have taken many measures to safeguard their piece of paradise... and their secrets. The Elemental spirits that the locals serve have warned them of the Volano Activity in Mua Pel'am, yet nothing seems to have been done about it... The question is why not?

Windenburg (Inclusive of Forgotten Hollow)

Current Monarch: HRH King Johannes Von Meyer Heir apparent: HRH Crown Prince Christian Von Meyer Religious beliefs: Worship of the Watcher Closest relationship: Mt Komorebi Best known for: The cities breathtaking architecture, and the battle of The Crumbling Isles.

When the Von Meyers took over the Country, It was a time of great advancement for the country. This was in so small part due to it's welcoming of the Occult Sims, and in particular, the Vampires. That peace is under threat as the new King and Queen Consort are devout Worshippers of the Watcher - who are staunchly anti occult. So how does the King handle it, when he realises that his young twin brother & sister are members of the Vampire community?

Oasis Springs

Current Monarch: HRH King Emilio Menéndez Heir apparent: HRH Crown Prince Sebastián Menéndez Religious beliefs: Congregation of Non Believers Closest relationship: Sulani Best known for: It's love of horse racing, and the luxurious lifestyle afforded to many of it's sims. Oasis Springs is a comparitively young country, though it well and truly made it's mark. The desert laid way for a specific kind of sim: a sim that can afford to keep themselves out of the harsh weather. This is no different for King Emilio, who has come under international scrutiny for his spending in midst of an economic downturn for Oasis Springs. Recently, it was confirmed he had purchased one of the countries most expensive vineyards for his son and daughter in law. Can he truly afford this?

Continuing the introductions, In Welcome to the Ton! #3, I am excited to formally introduce you to the two most powerful institutes: High Table & The Occult Council.

[demonicpiano]

RIVA I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED @disneyprincessdxminatrix

-

Based off Sims 4.

Any warnings pertaining to BG3 also go here, including use of Basemental Mod and Wicked Whims (BOTH 18+++). I mean it's Baldur's Gate 3, there are exposed quivering brain things and you can fuck a bear. So what else is new. Anyway.

-

Shadowheart

a spellcaster of Practical Magic (Realm of Magic)

grew up in a cult

now free of said cult

#goth cottagecore (Cottage Living)

The idea starts with Shadowheart freshly broken free of a cult she had been indoctrinated as a child. The cult probably would be the secret society from Discover University OR using the Club feature from Get Together OR using mods to create something much more devious. She's out, and always had dreams of her own little cottage, being in peace and free of those harsh expectations and judgement. She wants a piece of land with cows and chickens and a garden and a pond and so many things—the world is now open to her, as frightening as that sounds, but she has little to her name. She's been outcasted from everything she's known. She will need help. It's an interesting neighborhood out there with interesting people...

Astarion

one (1) bitey boi (Vampires)

ex-Judge (Discover University)

estranged sex worker (Wicked Whims mod)

#WHATINTHESWEETHELLS

Astarion is still a vampire, yes. He was a Judge from the Law Career before some hissing bastard named Cazador bit him and turned him into a vampire. Cazador runs a bar/strip club, except it's a front to bring in warm bodies for him to feed. He uses his 'workers' to do accomplish this, and being the master vamp, well...you don't refuse your master.

Except for one night when Astarion is abducted. Be it either by aliens or perhaps a much too attached client, Astarion is now far from 'home' for the first time in who knows how long. He swiftly and gleefully dispatches his abductors, although anything was a far better cry than that wicked place of work. He tastes human (Sim) blood plasma for the first time (after a rotten afterlife of plasma fruits and paltry and cold blood packs just to keep them alive and working). He's far from his master's influences. He's in a completely new place. He's lost. He could do anything. He doesn't know what to do.

Gale

also a spellcaster, Untamed Magic

oof ouch ow

#STOPLICKINGTHEDAMNTHING

Gale was studying magic with his cat in the Magic Realm until something messed him up. Either he tried to cast a 'forbidden' spell (not included in game, just lore from my head) and was outcasted from the Realm, or he developed a chronic condition and becomes Charged much too easily (magic becoming unstable, again, a headcanon, for now). Any spell he makes could mean a death sentence. Who knows how long he really has in the world, how long anybody has. How easy would it be to have it all taken from you in a stroke of hubris.

He sets out to explore what he can and pens it. Perhaps even an autobiography. There's magic in writing. In game, authors can even bring Sims back to life with their books, should the need arise. Maybe he can find someplace where he'd feel important once again.

Wyll

just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man neighbor guy

will (Wyll) bake you cookies, that's a threat and a promise

#provoketheBladesufferitssting

Wyll is one of the only ones in the main group that sort of has his life together, although long term wise, he's not so sure yet. His dad is an important member of the community, probably the chief of the police department. His son is known through the neighborhood for being a good guy, selfless and eager to help. He rescues kittens from trees. Helps the old ladies open up their food stalls. Picks up litter from the street. Disproves of you littering. Come on man, that's just not necessary, the bin is right there.

I'd imagine Wyll would whoop the asses of burglars as well, if we had them in The Sims 4. In the Sims 3, dreams come true in this regard.

He'd do anything as long as he thinks it's right. There's a darkness in the community, he's sure of it. Monsters and ne'er-do-wells are out there lurking and preying on the innocent. Werewolves go on their rampages and make a mess of the community, frighten the citizens. Aliens chase people with their probes, or so the tales go. Maybe they need help, too. We all know he tries to find the best in all of us. Unless their name is Cazador or something like that. Then they're going down.

Other than that, he feels compelled to please his father and meet his expectations, to fill his shoes, to do better for the community, but he also wants to fall in love, have kids, be something his loved ones are proud of.

I know she's integral to his storyline but No Mizora Allowed. Fuck Mizora. Her and Raphael are probably business barons or loan sharks in this AU.

Lae'zel

resident alien

not the one that abducted Astarion

lost

#tsk'va!

Lae'zel probably crash-landed somewhere off in the fields. With no ship, she can't get back home. She has to find others of her kind or some way to reach the stars again. She quickly learns the inhabitants of this planet are skittish, off-putting, ill-disciplined. To make things easier for herself, she needs a disguise. Then she can get a hang of things TEMPORARY, of course, until she finds her way home.

She's scared, and aggressive to the residents if they try to help her. They wouldn't understand. Would they? They couldn't actually be of any use. Could they? She really needs help. Would she actually take it? Maybe this place is more bizarre than she thought, more interesting. More beautiful. More kind.

Karlach

tough as nails, sweet as cake

worked with some dickhead, didn't work out

#hot shit

Swinging from loud and proud to a temper hotter than any fire, Karlach just got out of a bad position in life with her own scars and bruises. Her boss was not a good man. It wasn't a good line of work, but it did pay well, at least until her boss sold her out, either to save his own ass or for extra lining in his wallet.

I'm thinking maybe she spent some time in jail. But now she's out. She wants to kick her employer's ass. Take down the business while she's at it. But she's also free! She can do whatever she wants. She can make new friends. Her past follows close behind in pursuit. She has to be careful when she's not used to being careful, an adjustment back into society for sure, but she's going to try.

-

Start off with an empty lot. Off-the-Grid and Simple Living Lot Traits. A dash of rags-to-riches, here we go. ▸▸▸

I'm thinking....I'm thinking Baldur's Gate 3 + Sims AU

[pudding-parade]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

Seeing @zoeoe-sims post of this reminded me that several people had tagged me with this right around the time that my cat died a few weeks ago, too. I wasn't in a place to do this then, but…better late than never? I guess?

I babbled, as usual, so I cut for your protection.

Are you named after anyone? My paternal grandmother. Which is fortunate because she's the only one of my grandparents that I liked. Also, my mother because her maiden name is one of my middle names. (I have two. Fancy!) No comment on whether or not I like my mother. LOL

When was the last time you cried? I cried unhappily a lot when my cat died recently. I still get teary-eyed when I think of her or see something that reminds me of her. But, I also cry happy tears when babies are born on my little hobby farm, and since it's that time of the year, I've been crying a lot lately. :)

Basically, I'm a tear factory. A syrupy commercial will make me cry. You should've seen me when I was pregnant. Speaking of which…

Do you have kids? I birthed three, one conceived against my will when I was 17, but raised only two of them. I probably shouldn't have raised any, frankly. I'm not a good parent, and I don't like kids until they're about 8 or 10. But, when you're caught up in a Christian cult, there's intense pressure to procreate. I fear I really messed up my son, but at least I had my daughter when I was mostly out of the cult/god-belief in general, so I feel I did better by her.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Oh, absolutely not. (Yes, that was sarcasm.)

What sports do you play/have you played? Volleyball. Preferably 2-on-2 because it's more energetic and fun. (If you've ever watched beach volleyball on the Olympics, that's what I do. Or did, when I could.) I'm tall, so I'm pretty good at it. (Not good at basketball, though, because I can't for the life of me run and bounce a ball at the same time.) But mostly I prefer solo pursuits, usually of the "extreme" variety. Free climbing was a passion of my younger years, and I also did some BASE jumping back then. (I wish wing suits had been a thing when I did it. That looks amazing.) White-water kayaking. Skiing/snowboarding. Basically, I'm pretty active when I can be. Chronic health conditions limit me now.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Whatever I notice. I don't know. I talk to lots of people, and in the longer term I notice whether or not they can hold a coherent conversation, whether or not they have interests beyond professional sports, tv shows/celebrities, or shoes/fashion, and whether or not they are able to use their higher brain functions. When it comes to possible romantic relationships, I'm strongly attracted to intelligence, eloquence, and unabashed nerdiness, so the ability to use one's brain and have conversations is important to me.

That said, I have to admit that the very first thing I noticed about my husband (almost 10 years ago to this day, in fact) was how nice his ass looked in tight black leather pants, so there's that, too. I like a nice ass as much as the next person. And nice tits. (It's great being pansexual.) But, if all a person has is a great ass/pair of tits, then I lose interest very quickly. Looks fade and gravity does its thing and all that.

Scary movies or happy endings? I don't watch a lot of movies because I find just sitting and watching one to be pretty boring. (Which is odd because I spent much of my adult career as a studio musician working on movie soundtracks.) I'm much better off watching TV shows, which are shorter. But, if I'm going to watch a movie at all, it's either going to be sci-fi or a comedy. Sci-fi can be creepy/scary sometimes (i.e., Alien), and comedies usually have a happy ending, so…both? I guess?

Any special talents? I have perfect pitch and am musically gifted, though my instrumental skills are far superior to my singing skills. That's about it, unless you count the fact that I can wiggle my ears to a freakish degree and independently of each other, like a cat. In fact, I have a number of atavisms like that, probably because my family on both sides is pretty damn inbred.

Where were you born? In Amish country in Indiana, USA. I haven't been back there since I was 16, though. (And since I'm 59, that was a long time ago.)

Well, OK, technically I was born in New York City because my parents were visiting my mom's parents, and I wanted out earlier than expected. (Typical of me, really.) I didn't actually live in NYC until I went to music school, however, and I was raised on a dairy farm in Indiana that my parents owned and paid Amish folks to run for them. So, I grew up hanging out with cows and Amish kids, mostly. LOL

What are your hobbies? Aside from playing video games? Too many, because I don't have time to do them all as much as I would like. Belly dancing and pole dancing. (Both are great for your core.) Composing music. The above-mentioned sports, to the extent that I can do them now. Swing dance. Embroidery/cross-stitch/hand-sewing/lace-making. Horseback riding. Painting. (Only paint-by-numbers because I don't have the time/patience to learn otherwise.) Home improvement projects. (I love me a good tiling job. Currently, I'm working with my husband on our Burmese python's future room because he's quickly growing out of the enclosure we have him in.) Reading scientific papers and popular science articles, especially about dinosaurs. Amateur astronomy. I want to get into doing some woodworking, too, though I have to get over my fear of power saws first.

Basically, my problem is that I have too many interests and not enough time.

Do you have any pets? I have a (mostly) hobby farm, so…

Four horses that are used for just casual and trail riding, so they're basically lushes who laze in the sun and drink a lot of beer, so much that a local microbrewery has their hoppy stout named after my hoppy-stout-loving, beer-snob horse.

Small(ish) herds of both llamas and alpacas. We breed alpacas for their fiber, which we sell combed but otherwise raw to people/companies who spin it to make yarn and stuff. I have fun doing artificial selection with them, breeding for color and fiber texture and stuff. We breed llamas as guard animals, which are basically guard dogs for other livestock. They're more effective against large predators like mountain lions (their natural enemy) than dogs are while requiring much less in the way of training, food, water, etc. So, I have fun with artificial selection with them, too, breeding for (bad) temperament.

A flock of chickens, which is nice because, even though I'm vegan, I'll eat their eggs because I have tons and I know these hens live a life of decadent luxury, complete with a heated coop so they are comfortable year-round. All of them are doted-on, get daily attention (they love sitting in laps) and die of old age unless a predator gets them. Honestly, they're probably my favorite of the farm animals. LOL They are so sweet and so low-maintenance.

Two beehives, though I'm not sure they count as pets. They do require maintenance, though. Them's some hard-working ladies!

Indoors, I have four dogs, three cats, two snakes, and three tarantulas. And an aquarium set-up full of dragonfly nymphs.

(And, I have employees to do most of the farm work because I can't do most of it anymore, and my husband has a real job he loves, and my kids are moved out so no more free labor. Because otherwise my life would consist of nothing but farm chores/animal care.)

How tall are you? 6'0"/183cm. Very tall for a woman, and my build is quite man-like. Being a tall woman is sometimes good and sometimes bad. Like, I can reach whatever I want to reach and be good at volleyball, but finding clothes that fit right is a nightmare. Which is why I got decent at hand-sewing, because I have to alter pretty much everything I buy that's meant for women, even stuff in "tall" sizes, and I got tired of paying to have it done. I really should just make my own clothes from scratch, but there's that time issue again. So, I make do by buying mostly men's clothes. But sometimes you just wanna be pretty, y'know? (Plus, lately, if you go to use a women's restroom while not looking sufficiently female, you'll get very suspicious looks -- and sometimes worse -- from certain idiots waiting for their wife/girlfriend/daughter to come out of the restroom. 🙄)

Fave subject in school? Erm…I didn't actually go to school much. I was enrolled in a private school, but I was traveling and performing as a pianist starting when I was 7 but especially once I was 10. So, I was mostly educated by a private tutor who traveled with me, specifically by a Catholic nun who was in her mid-60s when I was a child. She looked scary, but she was the sweetest woman who ever lived while also being fucking brilliant so it's a damned shame she went into a nunnery. I bawled like a baby at her funeral many years ago.

But ANYWAY! Believe it or not, grammar was my favorite subject. Being educated by a nun, grammar was a Big Thing, but I enjoyed diagramming sentences, which is something that I don't think is taught in schools anymore. (But it should be!) I used to do it for fun. Beyond that, I love any history that isn't US history, and science. All of it. Except physics because calculus hates me. My love of dinosaurs came from my tutor, who was also very interested in them. Which is possibly weird, for a nun, but there it is.

Dream job? Being retired. Which I am. Yay!

Eye color? It says hazel on my driver's license, and I guess that's the closest description. They're basically a muddy green with some flecks of yellow.

I'm not going to tag anyone because it's been a while, and I don't know who's done this. But, if you'd like to do it, consider yourself tagged.

[wojtekbc]

I am just itching to run The Lady Afterwards for my friends so bad.

[wheresbella]

sims 2 nds townies.

“there's a reason for everything. the sun shines, the earth spins, and smart people like you run hotels. good luck... the citizens of strangetown need your help”

[trensu]

Jon's Creeping Terror Fun Fact Corner!

You know how Cecil has his Fun Fact Science Corner segment on his radio show? Well, Jon has his own show produced by The Magnus Studio. It's an educational kids show all about the Entities of Fear!! It's a very specific kind of kids show. You know the ones. Those kids shows that children are absolutely mad for but any adult in their vicinity is left deeply unsettled by them? Yep. On the surface, the show seems fine but if any adult dwells on the content for more than five minutes, they are left feeling very very unnerved, especially since the host, one Jonathan Sims, seems more than a little unhinged half the time.

The show is so popular it gets almost 15 whole episodes! (It gets cancelled at 14 bc at that point it had received far too many retrospective complaints from parents to continue any further). Sometimes, the episodes even have special guests!! Although it got cancelled, you can obviously still find it on the internet if you know where to look. There's even compilations of all the show's best Unhinged moments.

--

The Vast Episode

Jon: Today's episode is about the Vast! And to tell us more about it we have Simon Fairchild visiting us. Kids, if you ever see this man in person, please run very far in the opposite direction.

Simon: Thank you for that warm introduction, Jon. Now children, who here likes ROLLER COASTERS?

Jon: And that's it for our special guest [proceeds to literally kick an old man until he's off screen] Do not trust this man and please be careful when going on roller coasters in the future.

--

The Lonely Episode

Jon, reading from the teleprompter: We have an expert of the Lonely with us, Mr. Peter Lu--what? No!! Why's he here? Get him off my set! What do you mean no? I don't care how much funding he gives the studio!! He tried to take Martin away!

[scene cuts off and starts back up with Martin sitting next to Jon, looking particularly sweet and cuddly in a knitted jumper]

Jon: Here we have m-my Martin, I-I mean my ASSISTANT Martin Blackwood. Say hi to Mr. Blackwood, children.

[Jon is a twitchy mess and cannot even look at Martin's direction. Martin looks flushed]

Martin: Er, yes, h-hello.

Jon: Martin has experience [this is hissed with all the venom he can muster] with the Lonely. He's going to teach us the best way to avoid that evil, conniving bast--

Martin, hastily cuts in: Yes, well! Kids, who do you have in your life that you love? It can be anyone! Your siblings, your pets, your friends! Anyone at all!

[at the edge of the set, just barely visible, Peter can be seen crammed into a cage gleefully guarded by Daisy]

(it's during this episode Jon finds out that he's not allowed to use naughty words on the show. All the stuff with the murder and the skinning and the worms and such is fine! Just no cussing. Jon is befuddled and aghast. This is why Hopworth was not allowed as a guest; he's a very swear-y man)

--

The Corruption Episode

[Jon is seen clutching a jar of ashes throughout the entire episode with absolutely no explanation as to what it is or why it's there]

Jon, gesturing manically: and that's why it's important to see a doctor when you're sick and have an exterminator on speed dial.

[Martin comes onto the scene with a worried look on his face. The screen goes to black for a moment, then reappears with Jon still clutching his jar but looking significantly calmer. He smiles at the camera and it almost looks normal]

Jon: To finish the episode, can you demonstrate the proper handwashing technique we taught you at the start? Be sure to tell your parents what you've learned about infection control and have them show you where the CO2 is kept in your home!

--

The Hunt Episode

Jon, earnestly happy: This is my best friend Daisy! She's going to help us learn about the Hunt. She's one of the bravest people I know.

[Daisy turns away to hide a shy smile before clearing her throat and starting in on a rehearsed lecture. The episode ends with her and Jon making the children repeat the "don't listen to the blood, listen to the quiet" mantra and also "all cops are bastards."]

(Basira, in post production: ...yeah, that's fair.)

--

The Flesh Episode

Parents are horrified when they hear their children singing "you are what you eat, meat is meat!" whenever they play after that episode airs.

(Martin: Just to be clear, we're encouraging cannibalism??

Jon: no! ...maybe? i don't know, Martin, they told me it tested well with the focus group children

Martin: yes, okay, but WHY did you come up with that jingle?

Jon: Don't look at me like that, I'm not crazy, Martin! I wouldn't just eat a person. But, well, if someone asked me to eat them like, after they died, I wouldn't necessarily say no...?

This conversation was recorded and leaked somehow. And that's how Actual Cannibal Jon Sims became a trending meme. He has to do a PR statement confirming that he "has never knowingly eaten a person" and that that was "a completely hypothetical discussion." This convinces as many people as you think it would.)

--

The Stranger Episode

Nikola: I don't much like children. Not enough skin on them to do anything really fun.

Jon: Why are you--how did you even get in?? S-Security! Someone come get her out of--

Nikola: oh, but I have information for the little ones! [she pulls out a basket of high-end skincare products and looks directly into the camera with her featureless face] These are the lotions that are best for Archivist flesh but I'm sure they work for the kiddies as well! You all want to grow up to have lots of beautiful skin don't you? Here, let me show you how to use them! [attempt to lotion Jon]

Jon: [flinches away] Security! O-or Daisy. DAISY!

[growling is heard and we get a flash of a wolfish Daisy body-slamming Nikola to the ground. The rest of the episode has Tim shoving Jon off screen and going on a rant about circuses and how to best explode them. This becomes one of their most popular episode amongst the children]

--

Breekon and Hope show up occasionally in the background of various episodes and become something like an Easter egg for fans of the show.

Anyway, I love the idea of kids adoring socially awkward, neurotic mess of a man Jonathan Sims. Jon is completely confounded by his popularity but also, he's glad of it bc that means the children will be more prepared if they ever encounter any of the Entities (most parents think it's all fiction, except for the ones who've had Encounters with one of the entities; Jon ends up with a sort of underground cult following comprised of survivors of fear encounters)

I blame @lemonisinplay (and Jonny Sims) for the entirety of this post, tbh. She came up with the name and half the stuff here XD