#and yes these two really are these adorable all the time

[wemalyri]

what are enhypen members like in a relationship? jake ver.

pairing: idols!enhypen × fem!reader

w/c: 1,9k

warnings: relationship development, kisses, physical touch, smut under cut

a/n: I'm sorry for not posting for so long(( if you liked it, likes and reposts are welcomed. also jay is next ;)

heeseung jay jake sunghoon sunoo jungwon ni-ki

first meeting

He’s a guy who initiates an interaction with you. Jake would be polite and friendly, trying to ask you questions and listen carefully. He would awkwardly chuckle sometimes and brush his hair away or rub the back of his neck. I feel like Jake is the one who’s interested in everyone and you might overthink because of that. Like he’s so nice and initiative with you… What else can you think about? 

Jake is a gentleman. An awkward gentleman. He would open the door for you and bump into it while following you. He would be passing you something and drop this thing. However, Jake would immediately catch it (remember about his reflexes). 

Your relationship would develop really fast and after a while you would already feel like you know Jake for a long time.

friendship

You two became friends quickly, starting to hang out with each other too often. I feel like friendship with him is light and playful. You would joke at each other, flirt a bit, playing with your eyebrows. However, he’s the guy who you can always talk to. If you’re experiencing a difficult time, he would always support you by listening and hugging you. Jake is the one who especially values physical touch so there is no doubt it is the part of his support and caring attitude. 

As time goes by, you feel like your playful interactions go further. Or maybe you’re the one who thinks so. It feels like it’s not enough for you and your heart wants more. However, it’s really difficult to tell if Jake feels the same.

For me, he’s interested in everyone and I think he’s the type to be confused about his own feelings. Yes, you would be really close. He would find himself staring at you sometimes or listening to your laugh with adoration. But this is what confuses him the most. Is it how love feels like? 

With 100% Jake would seek advice from Heeseung. A small talk about how to realize what you actually want. And then he would think. Jake would start acting differently, deep in thoughts all of the time. However, as time goes by, he makes his choice. 

his confession

He is really nervous. You don’t need to read minds to tell that. Especially since Jake became somehow softer after a period of being too thoughtful. If you didn’t know any better, you would say he just had a difficult time but now he healed. 

Jake invited you for a walk in the late evening. The streets were lit with a light from lanterns - the only things that helped you to see the path. As you and Jake were walking down the street none of you made a sound. It was a silent, tense walk and you were scared of what was going to happen next. Jake stopped turning around to look at the view that was opened from the bridge you were standing on. You stepped closer to him, reclining on the railing. Suddenly he spoke. 

“I’m so sorry for my behavior lately… I didn’t mean to hurt you, sorry if you were confused.” The wind disheveled his hair making them messy. His eyes were glued to the view of the night city, beautifully reflecting the lights from the cars and lanterns. “I like you.” Jake finally looked at you with the warmest expression on his face. “I really do.” Your eyes widened in surprise but you hurried to pull him in a hug. Jake slowly wrapped hands around your figure considering your action. “Does it mean you too?..” he mumbled in your hair.

relationship

He’s a golden retriever for sure. Jake is an excited puppy who is always nervous around you, especially at the first time. He immediately told members and his family around you with heart-shaped eyes. Jake is the most genius and excited boy to have such a girl like you. 

Even though you decided not to show a lot of affection in public, he couldn't help but do it. He would unknowingly touch you during the conversation or while you’re laughing. A hand on your back, on your shoulder, on your head, on your arm. Just a light touch that reminds you of his presence next to you. He wouldn’t look for excuses to give a physical touch, reasons to touch you will always be found somehow. “Oh, I just had to brush away the string of your hair”, “Oh you have cream on your cheek, let me wipe it off.” - those are things Jake would always say and you would have nothing left than to just deal with it. 

Still, I think that Jake is the boyfriend you can always come up to in difficult situations. Yeah, he’s giggly and bubbly but he still has something warm and wise inside. If you feel bad, Jake will always take care of you, asking about your well-being. “Does it hurt somewhere? How long did you sleep today? Did you eat? Do you need some rest?” He’s the understanding type who is ready to risk it all just to make sure you’re safe. However, if the reason of your sickness is not physical, he'll comfort you by pulling into a hug. Seeing your watering eyes, Jake immediately wraps his hands around your figure, leaning your head on his shoulder, one of his hands holding your head. He knows when to be quiet and stays silent for a while. After a while his hands are already caressing your hair and back in a soothing motion, his lips whispering comforting words in your ear (I’m crying). As you stop crying he notices to himself to make you the happiest girl alive to never make you cry ever again.

first kiss

The type to be very nervous and you can tell it by his red ears and cheeks when you peck his cheek as a goodbye. After that little kiss he probably smiled widely all the way back home and touched his cheek where you kissed him as a fool (he’s cute I love him). However, as time goes by, pecks are not enough for him. He’s craving your lips. Jake would always stare at them when you talk, his gaze slightly falling down to observe the lower part of your face. It had you questioning if he was even listening to you. His flustered face when you catch him red-handed is what makes you take the next step. You knew Jake was too shy to go for it so you had to take the lead.

One you were talking about something not important, noticing Jake’s gaze falling down again. You didn’t say anything to him and just leaned closer to kiss him. His eyes widened from the unexpected move but he immediately relaxed feeling your soft lips on his. Jake closed his eyes holding the nape of your head and kissed you back savoring the moment. Your thumb caressed his cheek making him melt even more. As you pulled away looking in his eyes with a slight grin, his heart almost jumped from his chest. He looked at you with slightly widened eyes “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, nervously inhaling. “You look pretty being flustered like that” you answered caressing his cheek with your thumb. Thanks to you his face got even redder.

first time

(God save me)

The caring type with whom you will giggle when one of you can’t undo the button or zipper. Jake is a bit spontaneous and doesn’t plan anything. He believes that true passion can’t be planned and a moment when it will happen can’t be predicted. With him everything goes fast. Recently you had your first kiss, now you periodically make out not able to pull away from each other. Really, I feel like with him it goes so naturally that you don’t even notice how glued to his lips you become. Also I believe he’s a good kisser (bro look at his lips). 

Still, when the first time comes Jake suddenly becomes nervous. He would try to be careful, even though his passion and hardness in jeans are spanning all his logical thinking. 

His plump lips are glued to your neck, sucking on it hungrily. It feels like Jake hasn’t eaten for weeks and now his only food is you, who is being devoured by a starved man. The wet sounds of his kisses make the tie in your stomach tighten and his lips on your skin feel so heavenly good that you throw your head back, pulling on his hair. The sudden groan makes you moan back, creating a special melody just for you two. “Gosh, baby, how can you be so sweet? I might actually lose my mind…” Jake mumbles looking in your eyes just to pull back to your skin with even more hunger.

Also as numerous users of the internet I am not a stranger to the opinion that Jake loves oral sex. He doesn’t just love it, he was made for it, and only god knows why. I feel like for the first time he would try to show off his skills as much as possible.

“Gosh baby” his lips pressed to your wet folds in a feverish motion, trying to savor your taste. “If I knew you were so sweet, I would go for it earlier” his tongue entered your tight walls causing a loud moan to fall from your lips. Jake’s nose massaged your clit making you gasp for air and grip his hair, tempting to make you cum sooner than you imagined. Feeling you falling apart on his tongue, Jake pressed to your pussy harder. “Need you to cum for me, baby” he mumbled in between his licks “Let me show you how good I can make you feel.”

Talking about the actual act, Jake is slow and caring, trying to control himself even if it's hard. He gets a bit nervous about the whole thing but you manage to support him. 

He's pulling the tip inside of you, trying not to go too fast. You can tell that it takes him a lot of effort to not push all the way in and you're clearly thankful for that. Your hand squeezes his bicep and Jake immediately looks at your face, searching for any signs of discomfort. “Are you okay? Should I stop?” he asks in a worried tone, woken up from desire. “No, it's fine, you can move. Just thank you” you look up at him, noticing how his expression softens. “No need to thank me, baby. I'm just taking care of you” Jake leans closer to leave a peck on your lips before pushing his dick inside of you further. 

+bonus

As time goes by Jake becomes wilder… He's not afraid of anything anymore. He knows that you're always down for all of his little dreams and fantasies and it makes him the happiest guy alive. 

Also he's not really into aftercare. Usually you're the one who needs to clean up all the mess while Jake is just pleading for another round or for just staying in bed.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 41

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's (Mother Spore) pov*

You meet Boogeyman in front of Las Nevadas, It is a beautiful place really...very bright too, a bit too much for you.

You would say he's in formal attire but he wears a suit and tie wherever he goes so It's hard to tell the difference. He offers you his hand and the two of you make your way inside, as you enter the main building a man covered in green slime lets you in and leads the two of you to a more secluded room. Mumbo seems to know who he is so you don't question why you are just following this random slime guy.

"Did you know I have more then 200 bones?"

Oh you can tell this guy is fun, Boogeyman just looks taken aback though.

"Excuse me, mate?"

"Do you have more then two hundred bones Boogeyman from Hermittopia?"

"I would say so-"

"Dap me up!"

Mumbo slowly reaches out in a punching motion and slowly does a very akward fist bump. The slime man then turns to you.

"Oh sorry, didn't see you there Mother Spore from- ...Mother Spore from... ... ... ..."

Then he just smiles before turning and leaving. . . What.

There are a bunch of different people in various outfits already waiting at the table when you arrive... You lean towards Mumbo and whisper to him.

"Boogeyman, do you know these people already?"

"Not personally, no, but I know of them...they are villains from outside Hermittopia, I had to research some of them in the past."

"Hmm..."

Mumbo points to the various people around the table.

"The clown themed one is Jester, used to go by Pierce as a vigilante before becoming a villain... then is Xonorth, power allows him to create tendrils of darkness. Then are Pharaoh, Doctor Rat and Mot who is also called the Cretin and at one point was named Green man."

"Those are a lot of names for one person" You say, like the hypocrite you are.

"Tell me about it, imagine trying to research the guy."

Suddenly the door opens once more, a man with hair darker then night and wings golden like Sheriff's albeit smaller and with a slightly different shape enters the room. Oh wait, those are duck wings! Strangely adorable for what you assume is a villain of some kind.

"Good evening everyone, it is a pleasure to see that you all accepted my invite"

"What can I say, you calling us in the first place was unexpected" Jester says while placing his hands on the table.

"Yes, you never seemed like the collaborafive type Q" Pharaoh adds off handedly.

"Oh you wound me, I just had an offer I believe you'll find very interesting"

"Oh?" The green man perks up at that.

"Why yes! I assume all of you have heard of the eggpire."

...

You kinda...haven't, but judging from Mumbo's body language he definitely does...and so do the other, oh yeah these guys hate them... except Xonorth who just looks disinterested.

The Doctor moves closer to the winged man, movement similiar to that of ink... It's actually a bit weird to describe but you are also definitely going to be learning to do it. "I'm listening".

The others,one by one, nod along.

"Perfect, I knew you would see my point, now. Time to iron out the details"

Oh my this is getting exciting, so disappointing that your other body along with the vigilantes are approaching... going to run the fun for yourself.

*Grian's (Poultryman) pov*

You fly right behind Flame, behind you is Seraphin who is also flying and who decided to carry Wormman himself.

Las Nevadas is still at a pretty far distance when you start to wonder how much these vigilantes know. You fly a bit faster and lower yourself towards the ground to get to Flame's level so you glide next to him.

"So. How many villains are we going to fight, might be good to know."

"Boogeyman, Jester and Quakity"

... Huh...not wrong but there are definitely people missing.

"Just those three?"

"That's what our source said, It's supposed to be a small meeting of some kind... We also realized Mother Spore might be there as well.

"Oh... I see"

You don't know who their source is but it must be severely lacking in the "informing" department because you know there are more villains waiting, around double that amount... You are currently quite literally having a meeting with said villains at this exact moment.

Honestly It's lucky that they got you to help because without you they would have been annhilated.

"Alright...just, you should be extra careful"

"Huh...? Why?"

"I fought Mother Spore once"

"You did!?"

No, definitely not, but you are both so you just need to aknowledge it as both identities and nobody will know.

"Yeah... she's more threatening then you think....we need to take them by surprise""

Hmm... Yes, I agree. We'll need to stoppificate a bit before Las Nevadas though, better to get in using stealth."

"Great, I'll tell the others"

And like that you fly back up and towards the other two.

[d3athmaskd1v1n3]

"Before it all ends, let us end it ourselves"

Yandere TwoFace x Reader

⁽ᶜᵂ: ˢᵗᵃˡᵏⁱⁿᵍ, ⁱⁿᵛᵃˢⁱᵒⁿ ᵒᶠ ᵖʳⁱᵛᵃᶜʸ, ᵐᵘʳᵈᵉʳ,ʰᵉᵃᵛʸ ᵃⁿᵍˢᵗ. ᴿᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ ⁱˢ ˢᵘˢᵖᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᶠ ᶜʰᵉᵃᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵀʷᵒ⁻ᶠᵃᶜᵉ ᵈᵒᵉˢ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᵈʳᵃˢᵗⁱᶜ ˢʰⁱᵗ⁾

ᴺᵒʷ ᴾˡᵃʸⁱⁿᵍ: ᴬⁱˢʰⁱᵗᵉ ⁱᵗᵃ ⁿᵒ ⁿⁱ ᵇʸ ᴹᴬᴿᴱᵀᵁ

Neither Harvey or Two-Face liked sharing, even amongst themselves. One side was always worried about the other fucking things up.

Harvey is worried that Two-Face's violent tendencies and unpredictable nature will drive you away from him. He knows every time that coin lands scarred side up, he risks losing you. How far is too far for you? He doesn't want to find out.

Two-Face hates how Harvey is stealing all your affections, diverting your attention. Harvey is kinder, more noble... but you cannot separate Harvey from Two-Face. Inevitably, you'll look for that kindness elsewhere, leaving them both alone.

༺═────────────═༻

"You still love us, right?"

That question is usually met with a quick and confident "yes" but recently your reassurances have seemed more tired...

Less sincere...

While Harvey tried telling himself that nothing was wrong, Two-Face was quick to jump to conclusions.

So one winter's night, while you slept in your bed, the pale moonlight streaming in through the window and covering you in its glow, he snuck into your room and quietly grabbed your phone off the nightstand.

He then went into the hallway, going through every part of your phone, looking for incriminating evidence...

Photos, social media, private messages...

Nothing.

He sighs, going back into the bedroom (still being as quiet as humanly possible) and putting the phone back exactly where it was before.

"Why would you even think they'd betray us like that? Why would you think they'd be so heartless?" Harvey mutters.

"Why else would they be so distant? Something's off. I just know it." Two-Face replies, his voice just as hushed but much more gravelly and harsh.

"Forget it. It's late, and we'll only get more paranoid if we stay up all night worrying about it."

༺═────────────═༻

Nothing has gotten better. Anxiety and distrust gnaws at them from the inside as you continue to act strangely around them. Harvey keeps clinging to hope, praying that he's right. Maybe you're just stressed.

He really hopes your love for him hasn't died and withered away so quickly.

It's been so perfect. Your love has been the kind of love people see on TV, or in the movies. Two-Face felt it was too perfect for him, that he was undeserving, yet despite his fears that you only held affection for Harvey, you showed love for him as well.

When they returned home after a long day, you were there. When they'd get caught and sent to Arkham, you'd visit and send letters. When they break out, you'd be waiting for them, helping them lay low for a while. One time you spent a week or so in a safehouse, avoiding the police. Harvey felt incredibly guilty for dragging you into this mess, but you never seemed to despair. You even joked that staying inside with him was like playing house. A twisted game of house, sure, but it was cute how you kept your spirits up.

You loved both halves. Both halves of your beautiful, yet flawed darling. That's what makes them dread the thought of your adoration going to some unworthy third party.

No matter how many times Harvey tries to shake the thought of that happening, it keeps popping back up.

༺═────────────═༻

They mourn your love. Your love is dead.

They found a second phone hidden away in a drawer. A second fucking phone. Two-Face could have laughed if he wasn't so pissed. It just seemed so ridiculous, but it was there the whole time, right under his nose!

He waited for you to come home, barely containing the hurt and feelings of betrayal inside him.

"Even though I loved you..." He thought to himself.

"I'll still treat you like the traitor you are."

While Two-Face was filled with rage, Harvey felt as if he had fallen right into the pits of despair. It was a familiar feeling, but still a terrible one, like all the sadness was clawing its way out of his throat.

They heard the doorknob turn as they mentally prepared themselves for whatever it was they were going to do next...

༺═────────────═༻

Neither of them even recalled flipping the coin. It was all a blur.

All they know is that they're now cradling your body as it loses its warmth. That awful feeling was still clawing at their throat as they tried not to weep.

It was horribly silent. They could hear their heart beating in their chest, a drum keeping time for a dirge dedicated to the lover they've just slaughtered.

(Author's note: I pray that wasn't too fucked up! I wanted to write a fic inspired by a song, so here we are. I mentioned this fic to my mutual @yandere-wishes. I hope they like this one despite the fucked up ending. I also apologize for the less linear, more abstract format. I didn't know how to put this one together in a way that is whole.)

[jimilter]

on the borderline — 05 | pjm. (m)

Park Jimin has been your buoy, your anchor and the ship of sanity that guides you to shore amid storms of self-doubt, nearly all your life; as have you been his. That is not to say nothing has ever brewed beneath the surface of platonic friendship, or that the two of you have never been victims to mistiming. Regardless, you would never risk the friendship you have with him now for anything. Even if you have to hurt him – or even yourself – in the process.

pairing: jimin x reader

rating: m (18+)

genre: angst | drama | friends to lovers!au

word count: 7.6 k

— warnings: swearing + repeated mention & description of sex (some gets detailed and explicit, hence the rating!) + mention of a past toxic relationship + perhaps a present toxic relationship? + the worst kind of emotional constipation + misunderstandings + lies and pretense +one-sided feelings + reader is a bigger mess + jimin is a mess too :/

— note: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2025, PEOPLE! <3 it was excruciating getting back into this one but it was also kinda therapeutic bec real life has been whooping my ass :( i have begun writing the sixth part too bec i truly forreal wish to complete this series without taking another year helP!

ps. the rating, genre and warnings mentioned above pertain to this chapter, only.

main masterlist | taglist | feedback?

↪ series masterlist | ◃ prev ⁘ next ▹

𝐕 ⇢ 𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐒𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓 ♪ between heaven and disaster

07:03 AM | Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 hey sorry i missed all your calls and texts :( i figured u would ask abt seokjin and the date and i kinda didn’t wanna talk abt it not necessarily in a bad way just a “let me figure it out first” way which still doesn’t excuse ghosting u so i AM rly sorry :( how was your flight? and the dinner meeting?

07:16 AM ↳ SHE LIVES!!!!!! ↳ Good morning Grumpkincess <3 ↳ All that you said about your date has just made 1000x curious now yk ↳ Oh, and I had a horrible flight ↳ My partner drooled on my $70 shirt 😭 ↳ Barely had time to change it before our meeting at 4 UGH

Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 good morning WHAT now ? that better not be a new pet name park jimin

↳ Yes it is, Grumpkincess ↳ A grumpy pumpkin princess ↳ Adorable right?

Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 ykw your cringe ass deserved getting your shirt ruined karma 🖕

↳ Ihy 🖕 ↳ Ok enough of this can we pls talk???

Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 ??? are we not talking?

Jimin rears back from his phone almost violently. Did you, of all people, really just imply that texting is equivalent to talking? He is pretty sure that of the entire time that the two of you have lived in separate towns, you have spent more than half of it on video calls with each other.

That is talking for the two of you.

Or at least it used to be, before he got onto this flight which has apparently landed him in some parallel universe. 

He immediately sits up in bed and calls you.

And you immediately disconnect the call.

What?

His jaw is still dropped when his phone vibrates in his palm again, indicating an incoming voice call from you. Scowling, Jimin nearly whines a what the fuck into the phone.

“I look like dogshit, dude, please,” you groan from your end.

“Seriously? You’re telling me you won’t show me your face because you look bad?” Rolling his eyes, Jimin reclines on his bed, a little assured at hearing your voice but also a little confused by your words. “Dude. I’ve seen you with puke all over your clothes, I’ve seen you with cum on your face, I’ve seen you with a black eye, I’ve seen you with—”

“Okay, I get it!” you interrupt with another groan. “I feel like dogshit, then. Is that better?”

Now he is concerned. “No. Obviously. How can that be better? Babe, what’s going on? You’re being…”

“Weird? Bitchy? Whiny? Annoying?”

“No, just…” He bites his bottom lip. “A little unlike yourself.”

“Wow, that's worse.” You give a small sigh. “I’ll be fine, I just need to recalibrate my head. Don't worry.” 

How can he not worry when you sound this tired and timid? Jimin almost wants to ask if Seokjin has something to do with it. But then his brain starts to conjure up images featuring exactly how that man could have tired you out and that leaves a bad taste in his mouth, followed by a series of negative emotions that make his heart race and his head hurt.

He went through this same series of emotions last evening, too, when you didn’t respond to his messages. He doesn’t want to give himself enough time to analyze any part of it, though, because he isn’t ready to face what he might uncover.

“How can I help?” he ends up asking, because putting his mind to literally anything else would be better than self-introspection right now.

You don’t respond immediately and everything is so quiet that Jimin can hear your breathing on the other side. Then you hum. “Honestly? Just give me a little time, Min. I’ll be fine.”

“Time? As in…time away from this conversation?”

“Yes, dork. Some time by myself, with my thoughts.” You chuckle as you say the words but Jimin doesn’t find them funny. 

He swallows the tight discomfort in the back of his throat and scoffs in response, though. “Well, okay then. Your funeral. And here I was thinking I will tell you about this weirdly snobbish butler-assistant guy the clients brought with them to the meeting last night.”

“Wait, butler-assistant?” You exclaim with a curious scoff, and Jimin smiles at the spark of the familiar humour that tinges your voice. “What the fuck is that?”

“Escapes me! They had this Alfred lookalike guy driving their limo, who joined in when they sat at the table with us, and—get this—dude kept interrupting me to tell his boss the time every fifteen minutes! What fucking clownery!” Jimin pauses to inhale, slightly disappointed when he hears you give a distant chuckle. You’re not invested. Your head’s somewhere else. He doesn’t want to share his story anymore. “I might sock him in the face if pulls that shit again, today.”

You give a hum in response, which sounds decidedly half-hearted. “I’m sure your intimidating scowls would’ve scared him away already, Min. He probably won’t join your meeting today.”

Jimin’s mouth slowly parts at the unfamiliarity of your remark. You never miss any opportunity to roast him about being a pacifist. How did you allow his claim of throwing a punch to go by so easily? 

And intimidating scowls? What happened to calling them ‘little bitch stare-downs’?

First you refuse to show him your face, sticking to this annoying voice call that’s overheating his phone because he doesn't have his airpods with him right now, and then you’re talking in a language that is so unlike you.

The discomfort in the back of his throat swells into a strange feeling that reaches the pit of his stomach.

“Yeah, I hope so… Sure.” His words come out low, hoarse and confused. So he clears his throat and puts a grin on his face. “Anyways! You sound like you need a fat nap to function like yourself again – I'll allow you to have that.”

“Mm-hm, I agree.” It could be his imagination, but you sound almost relieved. “I’ll call you soon, okay? Say hi to Tara for me.”

Jimin grunts and disconnects the call, immediately tossing his phone away as if it has personally offended him. Well maybe not the device, but the caller certainly has.

Just then, the door to the suite’s balcony opens and shuts, footsteps making their way to the other twin bed opposite the one he's lying on. He's almost counting down the seconds before a comment is made, and he doesn't have to wait long, when:

“Trouble in paradise?” comes Min Yoongi's taunting lilt.

Exhaling in ire, Jimin rolls his eyes. “For the last time: there’s no paradise to trouble, Yoongi.”

“You know what I mean, dude. You look worried. And frustrated. It's got to be about…her.”

Jimin winces at the emphasis on the pronoun. “She's not Voldemort, dude, you can say her name. What the fuck?”

“Ah, is that so? Then how about… the love of your life?” 

“Yoongi! Stop with that already, man. It's not like that between us, we’re just friends who lean on each other for support,” Jimin speaks on autopilot, having perfected the words he has been repeating ever since his colleagues got to know about your existence in his life. “It’s a strange dynamic but it works out well for—”

“Oh, shut up, King of Delusions. About time you stop fooling yourself and me with that bullcrap.” Now it's Yoongi's turn to scoff at Jimin. “Your feelings for her are becoming more and more obvious with time. And if I can see them with such clarity, I bet that you can as well. Which only means that you’re knowingly turning a blind eye. And it is pissing me off.”

So, yeah, this isn't the first time Jimin's hearing this lecture from his friend. 

It’s always the same story whenever any mention of you happens in Min Yoongi’s vicinity. Jimin should, ideally, be immune to the non-stop badgering, but the older guy somehow always manages to bring in fresh points to the table, so Jimin is forced to react with even louder groans, each time.

“When the hell are you going to admit you’re in love with her?”

“I’m literally not,” Jimin’s complaint comes out as a whine, and he mentally counts down the seconds till Yoongi will bring up the fact that he was stopped from pursuing you by Jimin. He wonders if the actual reason why Yoongi does this is because the guy still has a crush on you and feels resentful towards Jimin for not letting him ask you out. “Please stop.”

“You’re not in love? Sure, buddy. You forbade me from pursuing her like some alpha male protective of his mate… doesn't get more soulmate-y than that!” Yoongi rolls his eyes with a grimace. “When the fuck are you going to face yourself?”

“This again? Seriously? I've told you countless times that I did that because she was uncomfortable with your affections,” he reminds Yoongi for what feels like the hundredth time. “I was being a good friend.”

“Right, and she still doesn't know anything about it, does she? She still thinks I stopped pursuing her because I lost interest. Why haven't you told her you had a talk with me?”

Jimin closes his eyes and drags both his palms down his face because Yoongi is absolutely correct. “I… Because it doesn't concern her.”

Yoongi is silent for a while. When Jimin peeks past his fingers to see if the guy may have fallen asleep, he finds Yoongi gaping at him. “Are you even listening to yourself? You stopped me from pursuing her because she's uncomfortable, but telling her about it doesn't concern her? Make it make sense, Park!” He scoffs. “Does she even know we're friends? Does she know you're on this trip with me?”

Jimin remains silent, slowly turning his head to the other direction. “Not really. Told her I'm accompanied by Tara,” he mumbles, only for Yoongi to give a dramatic gasp.

“What? She doesn't know we're friends? Why the fuck would you lie to her about me? Are you ashamed of me, you asshole? And Tara, of all people? What the fuck is wrong with your head?”

Jimin almost laughs at Yoongi’s horrified expressions, but then stops himself because he half suspects the guy might toss him off the balcony if irritated enough, and they’re on the twentieth floor. “It's just… It never came up, I guess? I… don't really talk to her about work much…” His excuse is so weak it makes him physically cringe.

“You were literally just crying to her about our client's butler…”

“Okay, okay, fine!” Jimin sits up, sliding back to rest his head against the headboard, and looks up at the ceiling. “I don't know why I couldn't tell her. But it's not because I'm in love with her, okay? That doesn't even make sense because I still tease her about you for fun. And I also didn't stop you from pursuing her because I wanna be with her, or anything. I don't have those kinds of feelings for her. Promise.”

“Okay. What kind of feelings do you have for her then?”

Jimin opens his mouth to reiterate that you're just friends, briefly shutting his eyes in exasperation—and then freezes. 

An entire cinematic reel of images sets in motion behind his closed eyelids, all featuring your eyes, your skin, your warmth — and his intimacy with them. The darkened haze of your gaze when he pulled away from kissing you. The softness of the skin of your shoulder when he dug his teeth into it; the taste of your skin. Of you. He can nearly smell the scent of your hair in his lungs and can hear the short, hitched breaths you puffed out next to his ears. 

His heart rate kicks up and sweat dots his forehead within the seconds it takes for him to open his eyes again.

It is as if he got dunked into scalding hot water, stifling him and overwhelming all his senses all at once. He feels warm all over. His chest feels heavier than before.

Shit.

This isn't the kind of behavior someone’s ‘just friend’ would exhibit. These aren’t the kind of thoughts he has ever had about you, before.

Shit. 

“Well?” Yoongi is looking at him expectantly with zero judgement in his gaze. “What kind of feelings, Jimin?”

He and Yoongi share a sort of bond where they serve as each other’s sounding boards about decisions that they take at work, with their team. That is not to say that they aren’t good friends and only talk about work. But it’s just that these conversations have never really included much honesty from Jimin’s end whenever the topic hovered over you. 

Jimin can feel that he is about to change that now, though. 

He breathes in and honestly confesses to Yoongi what he hasn't even said to himself out loud, yet: “They’re… confusing.” 

Yoongi nearly jumps off his bed and lands on one corner of Jimin's, eyebrows raised and mouth agape. “Confusing? Not strictly platonic the way they used to be? Dude…” He shakes his head in awe. “This is new. What's changed?” 

Jimin fiddles with his thumbs, lips pursed together as he finds himself caught in a very uncharacteristic fit of nervousness. “So there's this… this thing that happened before I left for this trip… And it changed some things, I guess?”

Yoongi blinks at him, expressions dropped to a deadpan. “You slept with her, didn't you?”

“Wha—how the hell—”

“I’m older than you, I've seen more in this world than you have, so hush with the theatrics. Tell me what happened after that.”

Well. Where does he begin? “She… went on a date with a guy, so—”

“A date? Right after the day you had sex with her?”

Jimin clicks his tongue and shoves Yoongi's shoulder. “Yes and it's not a big deal, okay? We decided that we are going to move ahead and remain the kind of best friends we've always been. And she'd made plans for that date before we slept together, so it's all completely fine.”

Yoongi is squinting at him by the time Jimin stops speaking. “Hm. Is it, really? All completely fine?”

“Yes, it is! I just said it was!”

“O—kay? So what's the problem, then? You decided you both would move ahead and you did – what's the catch? You don't like that she's being normal?”

“No, that's not it. She… wasn't exactly normal, either. She sounded…” Jimin gulps the nerves that block his throat as the prospect of losing your friendship swims up in his vision. “She sounded off. Different. Distant.”

“Oh, boy… Are you scared that she hit it off really well with her date and moved away from you?”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “That's impossible.”

Yoongi gives a smirk which unnerves Jimin in all the bad ways. “Is it? Because if it isn't the possibility of her growing distant from you and closer to someone else that's been troubling you, your issues are way deeper and definitely scarier. Good luck, pal.”

Throughout the entire day full of meetings that Jimin goes through, Yoongi's words keep circling in his head. Did it really bother him that you went on a date? He swore up and down that you guys will remain normal and that night will remain just a memory. So obviously it was correct of you to go on that date you’d planned in advance! 

Why the hell is he acting up when you're doing exactly what you both planned you'd do? 

Jimin chooses to have lunch by himself, in one corner of the cafeteria, leaving Yoongi to mingle with the clients, and mulls over his situation and state of mind. 

Maybe he is bothered by your date. And maybe he is so bothered because it was too soon. 

Because he can't get the images of that night out of his head the way he thought he'd easily be able to. 

When he tried to nap on the flight, he saw you riding his dick. When he got into the shower, he saw your teary face after he'd eaten you out good. He had to touch himself to take the edge off, praying that Yoongi wouldn't hear him, and that literally helped with nothing.

Does he actually… want you? 

The last time this happened was around six years ago.

Jimin sips at his almond milk as memories of a time he’d thought was distant and forgotten cascade through his brain.

The two of you were juniors in college. He'd recently gotten out of this toxic relationship that had sucked all the joy out of his life and was spending his days sleeping in and skipping classes, and his nights drinking with friends. It was 2 am when he saw an Instagram post of you posing sweetly for the camera and all he could think of was how badly he missed you. How he hated the fact that you went to different colleges because he wanted to see you so bad. 

He'd left a series of drunk texts in your DMs, of all places, telling you that you were the best girl he'd ever met and that you were perfect in every way and how happy you would make someone by being theirs. You'd replied the next morning, thanking him for being a sweetheart and then told him that you’d found the lucky one – because axolotl had finally asked you out on a date. 

Jimin would never admit it to anyone, but he’d been really upset and extremely jealous of that stupid asshole. It had gotten to the point where he over-inserted himself into your relationship to let fucking axolotl know that he’d come first in your life. That is not to say that the dude wasn’t toxic enough by himself. But when Jimin saw the way his actions were causing you hurt too, he decided to retreat.

That was when he swore he would step back and be the best bff to you at every step in life.

And he’s been on that road pretty religiously!

All the flirting he gets up to with you is totally harmless and only for fun because he enjoys making you blush. Which is probably why he tried to categorize that night under this ‘harmless fun’, too. But it’s clearly not working. 

He’s restless. He needs to return home and see you in person.

He needs to ensure that he can still be your friend despite all these thoughts plaguing his brain.

What the hell is going to do if he doesn’t arrive upon the desired answer, however? He hasn’t the slightest clue.

Jimin spends the rest of the day waiting for your call – which never comes.

He texts you when he’s done packing his bags after his last meeting, but you don't respond.

The heavy feeling in his stomach grows heavier and heavier – until it becomes so suffocating that he has to come out to the balcony and breathe in some fresh air.

Except – smoke fills his lungs upon the first inhale, and he wrinkles his nose at Yoongi’s cigarette.

“What? Can't a guy enjoy a smoke in peace? We have to be at the airport in an hour.”

“Oh, no, don’t mind me. Please relish every bit of your death stick, by all means.”

Yoongi snorts at his words, and snuffs the remainder of the cigarette out with a roll of his eyes. “Your panties are in a twist again. What's happened now?”

“I'm fine.”

“Sure. And everything's okay between you and she who shall not be named?”

For a moment, Jimin nibbles on his bottom lip, watching the way the remnant smoke swirls away from the balcony and disappears into the late afternoon sky. Then he sighs. “I don’t know. She hasn’t responded to any of my texts and she didn’t call me. She’d said she would. I feel too fucking tense, it’s like my neurons are collapsing in on themselves.”

“Oh, man… If only you were a smoker, I would have procured you some of the best weed in the market. Would have taken the edge off with a handful of puffs.”

Jimin scowls at the guy. “Thank you for your consideration. Think I’ll just hit myself over the head with a saucepan and call it a day.”

“Stop stressing out so much, you moron. We’ll be back there in four hours. Take a cab straight to her place and talk everything out. Distance is a bitch that creates miscommunication. It’s just a matter of hours.”

Jimin nods to himself.

Just a matter of hours.

Just a matter of hours.

He can’t do it.

Jimin parted ways with Yoongi the moment he grabbed his luggage at the airport, and made a beeline for the cab he booked to take him to your place. He booked the ride in advance, even before he shot you a text informing his arrival back in town.

But just as his butt touches the leather seats – he realises that he can’t ambush you at your place.

So he regretfully gives the driver his own address and agrees to pay the extra amount that this re-routing would cost.

He shuts his eyes and lets out a deep, guttural exhale of frustration. Just a few hours ago, he couldn't wait to get to you fast enough.

And now, when he is at such a short distance away from actually being able to approach you and have a face to face conversation, his nerves have shackled him down and he cannot get himself to do it.

Some part of him believes that he needs to have a proper talk with himself about what the hell has happened with the dynamics the two of you share before he can prepare himself to have one with you. But some part of him believes that to be just a cop out. Which isn’t a complete lie, because at the end of the day, he is deathly afraid of losing you.

He needs to destress his mind.

But you’re the person he turns to when he needs to destress his mind.

Maybe… he can call you? That won’t be as risky and potentially devastating as paying you a visit, right?

Right. It can’t be. And he’s gotta talk to you because he misses you like crazy.

When his cab finally slows down before his apartment, his anxiety has reached a high that is making his forehead sweat despite the car's AC. Hopping out of the vehicle, he pays the driver and quickly gets into his apartment.

“It’s all gonna be fine, Park,” he mumbles to himself in a lame attempt at a pep talk while he changes out of his clothes and hops into the bathroom for a quick but hot shower. “She's your best friend in the world. You won't lose her. To anything.” He thickly swallows. “Or anyone.”

Donning some sweatpants and a t-shirt, he walks into his living room with his hair still wet and opens up a window to let some fresh air in. The sun has just sunk beneath the horizon, leaving behind some remnant daylight and a beautiful orange hue. Inhaling the crisp evening October air, he pulls his phone out of his pocket.

07:42 PM | Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 woohooo! welcome back to the town, dork <3

He smiles at the text and calls your number.

You pick up the call within seconds of its ringing, filling his phone screen with your entire form that is seated in your bedroom’s bay window.

Jimin’s words sort of get stuck in his throat at the sight of your gorgeous self dressed down in grey lounge pants and a pastel yellow hoodie. 

Wait, gorgeous? You look exactly the way you have always looked. 

And… you have always looked gorgeous, haven’t you?

Jimin can feel his palms beginning to sweat. No, Yoongi was wrong. He wasn’t ready to face you. He isn’t ready to confront all that has changed in his perception of you, when you are exactly the same person that you have always been. 

Your hair is wet, as if you just exited the shower too. And the way your hoodie drowns your entire body seems like the most adorable thing in the world to him. Your cheeks have a darker tint to them, too – caused by warm water, excitement about talking to him, or something else entirely? He hasn’t a clue. It just makes you look prettier and his heart beat louder.

Jimin is suddenly overcome with the urge to run all the way to your place and envelop you in a hug.

And you both never hug—both certifiably allergic to physical affection.

Fuck, he wishes he was there so that he could cup your pretty face in his palms and cover your kissable lips with his own. His fingers twitch with the urge. 

Fuck. 

Fuck.

“Welcome back, dork!” you announce, spreading your lips in a joyous grin. “Are you sleeping with your eyes open wide?”

Broken out of his crisis-inducing trance, Jimin forces a chuckle out of his throat, “I—I was gonna sing-song ‘honey, I'm home’ to you, but you picked up the call t—too fast.”

Fuck, did he just fucking stutter? You don’t seem to have noticed, thankfully, because you simply laugh some more. Your eyes are big and bright and brimming with affection, even if you've pursed your lips in a faux display of anger.

He feels like he missed looking into their depths. Has it really been just two days since he last saw you?

Wait, not even fully that – he left your place yesterday morning.

And now he’s on a freaking video call with you, clutching onto his phone like it’s his lifeline, nearly panting for your attention and affection as if he’s been starved for it. 

Shit, shit, shit, he is supremely screwed.

“Honey’s glad you’re home, too, I guess?”

Your response is ten-on-ten on-brand with the sort of banter the two of you engage in. It makes him believe that everything is actually good. That it’s all gonna be alright. 

Jimin smiles and hopes to God he doesn’t look as stupidly lovesick as he feels in the moment. A lost puppy finally returning home to its owner. 

Cursing under his breath at his train of thoughts, he reclines sideways on one of his sofa chairs and fluffs his wet hair away from his forehead. 

“So, how was your trip? How’s Tara?”

“Trip was good. Productive. We sealed the deal – despite the stupid Alfred-ass guy. And Tara’s fine, too.” He tries his best to disguise his wince as a smile. “Rushed home the moment we touched down.”

“Oh, her husband must’ve picked her up, right? Forgot she's married.” You nod to yourself, scratching your head and furrowing your brows in thought. “How was your flight?”

“It was fine. Had to sit next to a guy who fell asleep the moment we took off, and constantly kept leaning his head on my shoulder. It’s just a three hour flight! He couldn’t stay up that long?” he grumbles, rolling his eyes because the guy he’s talking about is actually Min freaking Yoongi. “I think I have a cramp in my right side because of him.”

You chuckle at that, popping some salted almonds into your mouth. “So what’s the plan for the week? You got office tomorrow?”

“Yep! Although we both are allowed to go in a bit late.”

“That’s considerate of your company.”

There’s a dull pause in the conversation which Jimin uses to wordlessly admire your face on his phone screen, again. He remembers the way other guys used to compliment your eyes, or the length of your nose, the plumpness of your lips, and how he used to just roll his eyes at their words because he didn’t see what they saw.

Well, now he does. He sees all of that and so much more. He sees it and he craves it. 

If not kiss you then at least see you. Be in your proximity. Admire your smile without a camera distorting it into pixels.

He wishes to visit you. He feels ready enough. Composed enough. He will keep himself safely off of risky topics. 

Like, come on. He is twenty-seven. Mature enough to handle himself enough to not make a fool of himself or accidentally ruin a friendship that he holds dearer than his life. Of course he is.

“So, what about you? Any plans for the night? Should I come crash?”

It’s out before he can overthink—or even fully think—of a proper, saner, more sophisticated way to pose the question.

And given the way your eyes widen slightly, regret singes his tongue that articulated the words. “Uh…”

Catching himself in time, Jimin sits up and makes a show of narrowing his eyes at the screen. “What? What is it? What are you hiding, little wench?”

A laughter bubbles out of you, but he can sense your awkwardness through the expressions you wear. It guts him. Swallowing thickly, he raises his eyebrows and beckons you to speak.

Finally, you exhale and purse your lips. “Well, um. I, uh, kinda have Seokjin coming over later?”

The way Jimin’s jaw drops to the floor hasn’t a smidgeon of acting to it. “Say what?”

You wince, biting down on your bottom lip. “Yeah…”

“I… Didn’t you say you didn’t wanna talk about the date?” His voice comes out hollow and plain, absolutely unlike what it usually is.

“I did, yeah, but I also said I needed to figure it out. And we’re, um, just figuring things out. I’ll tell you when—”

You cut off with a jump as your doorbell goes off in the background.

Seokjin is there. Seokjin is at your place. To be with you. To hold you, kiss you, touch you — and probably more.

Jimin feels the floor disappear from beneath his feet. His stomach is lurching and he is free falling. 

“I'll, uh, I'll be right there!” you call in the general direction of the door, casting a hesitant glance towards your phone.

Jimin's free-fall increases in velocity.

“Is that… him?” he asks in a scratchy whisper, face nothing short of horror-struck.

And when you give an almost shy nod, Jimin's brain short-circuits and he can't see a thing.

“Well, okay then! Have a great time! See ya later!”

He disconnects the call and allows his phone to drop down into the carpet beneath the chair he’s seated on. 

Despite trying his hardest, Jimin can’t stop his mind from making up images of you and Seokjin entwined in bed, with you making all the sounds that Jimin elicited out of you not forty-eight hours ago.

Fuck.

He feels shaken up. 

Getting up, he walks into his kitchen and grabs a bottle of water.

“It’s fine,” he tells himself. “It’s just weird because it’s too soon. Otherwise it’s good. It’ll be great. She needs this. I told her to go for it.” 

He clears his throat and sips some more water.

“They’re just sleeping together, anyway. She isn’t going to fall in love with him overnight. And if she does, she’ll tell me… And I’ll support her because she’s my be–best friend in the world.”

Even as the words leave him, they scorch his insides on their way out. His brain feels fuzzy with all the misplaced anger, regret and loss he feels. 

It’s half past two in the morning and Jimin is scrolling brainrot content on social media to put his mind off of the activities you might be getting up to. If you'd be in your bedroom or if you'd be in the living room, in front of the TV. 

If Seokjin would be eating you out in the same spot where Jimin—

Okay, here's a video of fifteen rubber duckies! They're being squashed at the same time! They're making such a horrendous but hilarious sound!

Needless to say – he isn’t doing a great job keeping himself distracted.

Groaning at himself, he refreshes his feed and gets ready to scroll again. And then he comes to a halt.

A post from you has popped up. 

It's a selfie featuring you and Kim Seokjin, seated in your car, heads tipped together in the middle of the seats, grins on your faces and cones of vanilla ice-cream in your hands. A passably normal and arguably cute picture.

Until Jimin’s eyes travel to the content below the picture.

He sits up in his bed upon spying the ‘💝’ emoji you’ve captioned the post with.

A heart emoji? You abhor those! Last time you willingly put one on your social media was way back when you were still with axolotl!

Oh…

Oh no…

Does this mean that you and Seokjin…?

And when the fuck were you planning to tell him?

Jimin needs to talk to you. Soon.

Foregoing any texts announcing his arrival, Jimin decides to steer his car towards your place, right after work on Monday. He gets off an hour later than you, so there’s no chance he won’t catch you.

But as he locks the vehicle and makes his way up your apartment, it hits him that there is a very real possibility that he might find Seokjin in there with you. And Jimin is completely unprepared to confront the man without having a conversation with you first.

So he presses the bell with his fingers crossed – and gives a sigh of relief when you open the door by yourself.

You’ve changed out of your work clothes and are dressed up in the same set of hoodie and lounge pants he saw you in during the video call, yesterday. And his urge to capture you in a hug and then smother you in kisses is back.

Stifling it all, however, Jimin focuses on the social media post he saw and allows the feeling of irritation and betrayal he felt upon spotting the heart emoji to wash over him, again. 

Then he grins at you. “Surprise?”

Your gaping mouth closes on a chuckle and, rolling your eyes, you let him in. “Unannounced but not unpleasant, hey.”

Jimin resolutely looks away from the couch in your living room, unwilling to let his resolve to confront you weaken by any means, and heads straight to your kitchen table to occupy one of the bar stools.

“So. How’s work?” He asks, leaning over the counter a little, and squints at your form as you busy yourself pouring a glass of orange juice for him.

“Uh, what? Work’s work. Did you come here to ask me that?” Your head tilts to the side in a question and Jimin exhales in defeat.

“No. Obviously. I'm here to ask you about Seokjin.” You tense at that and Jimin gives a scoff. “Okay, don't you dare try to whip up a story! You didn't tell me on Saturday – fine. You barely told me anything yesterday, harsh but acceptable. But now I'm here and now I wanna know what's going on. And if you dare try to look for a way out this time, I will drive a knife through your gut.”

He didn't mean to go that dark, but your behaviour has gotten on his nerves so awfully, that he couldn't help it.

“Wha–Jimin! I told you I'm still figuring it out…” You avoid his eyes as you speak, playing with the drawstrings on your hoodie. “I'll tell you first thing when I have clarity.”

“Well, I think you do have clarity but you’re just refusing to share it with me. And you need to hurry the fuck up with that because I'm losing patience here.”

Your forehead furrows. “Hey… You can't rush me to make up my mind about someone! It's bad enough that you pushed me to go on a date with him.”

“But I'm literally not rushing you? I saw that social media post you made, and you captioned it with a…heart emoji. You never make public gestures of affection with someone so quickly, so I just wondered if you had developed actual feelings for the guy, beyond the admiration you claimed to have for him. I was concerned about you. What choices you'd made.” He looks away from your face and down at his manicured nails. “As your best friend.”

Your sharp inhale draws his attention back to your face, and he is met with a somewhat cautious expression. “Oh? So you're being a concerned friend? That's – that's the only reason why you'd like to know about me and Seokjin?”

Jimin's breath gets caught in his throat. What did you just ask him? What did you imply?

He frantically searches your face to look for cues that would guide him towards the right way to respond to your question, but all he can find is impatience and thinly veiled disappointment.

The amount of confusion he feels makes his head spin.

He can either be honest – or he can play this safe. And given the amount of risks he has taken with you recently, he would very much rather stay in the comfort zone for once, even if it means that he has to lie.

“Sure. I mean…what other reason could there be? Right?”

Your shoulders slump in defeat and your eyes lose a bit of their sparkle. Before Jimin can even begin to analyse what the hell any of it could be about, you're straightening up again with a determined set to your shoulders.

“Yeah. That's right. No other reason. None at all. You're a concerned friend, that's good. That's great.” You lick your lips and then walk around the counter to sit on the other stool, next to him. Your eyes are hesitant when they meet his own. “Because Jimin, I've been wanting to tell you something. I've thought about this throughout the weekend, and… I really, truly regret that night. What we did was stupid, careless and extremely catastrophic. We shouldn't have slept together.”

Jimin feels a part of his soul crumble and wither at those words.

His brain slows down, gaze grows heavy, and his lungs have to put in extra effort to keep his breathing steady. 

Stupid, careless and extremely catastrophic.

His fingers tremble when he tries to reach for the glass of juice, so he pulls them towards his palm and forms a fist to hide them from you.

“You… why?” He hates himself for sounding as small and lost as he does. Clicking his tongue, he runs both his palms down his face and looks up to meet your saddened eyes again. “I mean it's great that you moved on the way we'd planned, but you don't have to regret the night we shared. It's okay. You can have it both ways.”

You shake your head, eyes even more sadder than before. “But I don't want to. We are supposed to be friends forever, Jimin. You and I… We can’t - I… I can’t lose you. To anything. So I can't do what you’re doing. Cherish that night's memory and behave normally. I need to forget and I need you to know that I wish it never happened. And that I'm… I'm sorry that I’m not strong enough.”

Jimin tries to swallow past his dry throat, only to cough when he can't. 

It kinda sounds like you're afraid you might want him still, so you are nipping the possibility in the bud by denying that the two of you ever crossed the line. It kinda sounds like you can’t move ahead because of that night, so you wish to act as if it didn’t happen.

But you are lighter on words and heavier on nibbling your lip, so maybe you've somehow figured out how precious that memory is to Jimin and you’re just trying to spare his feelings, which – ouch. 

He knew he was becoming pathetic but he didn't realise it was this pathetic.

Scoffing, Jimin gets up and shakes his head. “Don't worry, I wasn't getting any ideas about us doing a repeat of what happened, if that's what you were concerned about. I only want the two of us to resume being the best of buds and share everything the way we used to.”

“No, Jimin, that's not—I mean, you wanted me to give Seokjin a real shot and I did. And so I don’t want there to be anything that holds me back from being honest about it.”

The set of words hurt him more than they should, but he moves past them to address his main concern that you still seem to have missed. “Hey, listen to me. I didn't come here to hound you about Seokjin because I have a problem with what's going on. I came here because I have a problem with you not telling me what's going on. I have a problem with you believing you need to keep it from me for some stupid, untrue reason that you might’ve made up in your head.”

You don't say anything for a while, don't even look up to meet his gaze. Your lower lip stays between your teeth and your eyes don't look away from the kitchen counter where both your hands rest next to the untouched glass of orange juice.

And then you suddenly look up and into his eyes, determination all over your face. “You need to get a girlfriend.”

Uh.

What?

Gaping at the offputting, crooked smile that overtakes your face, Jimin slowly shakes his head as he wonders if he might've heard you wrong.

“Yeah,” you continue, nodding to yourself, “I feel guilty, Min. I’ve broken our no-dating pact, so it's only fair if you get to leave, too.”

Woah. Two dates with a guy and you've already declared your pact broken? And yet you wouldn't say a word about Seokjin beyond the fact that you’re pursuing it because Jimin asked you to.

He is quite literally too stunned to speak.

You laugh a little, looking almost nervous. “What? Don't tell me you fell in love with me or something, Min. That night was purely physical, right? We're mature enough to remember that.” 

The words hit him in a bad way, because you very clearly said them in a way that was meant to hurt him. Of course it was purely physical! But nothing between the two of you can ever be without at least some semblance of emotion because you both go way back! Even the playful insults you toss at each other and the jokes you share carry affection, intimacy and meaning. 

He doesn't have the slightest clue what you've been trying to do all this time, but if you truly want to rile him up and upset him tonight, he's going to forfeit and give you the satisfaction of having succeeded. He hasn't got enough mental strength to decipher the meaning of everything you're doing and then try to diffuse the grenade you've built.

So Jimin steps away from the counter and gives a loud scoff. “Don't be ridiculous. Of course not, there's no way in hell. How could I ever be in love with someone like you? Look at your emotional range and look at mine. I know, better than anyone else in the world, that you’re incapable of love. I know not to love a rock. I'm not stupid.”

Your face falls and eyes turn glossy, but Jimin can bet you aren't hurting like he is. You can't. That's one of your superpowers – compartmentalising so well, you sometimes don't even see the hurt that devastates others. 

“R–right. Didn't have to insult me, but you're right.”

“Why?” Jimin scoffs. “Isn't that what our relationship is about? Being friends? Laughing together? Insulting each other?”

You frown at him. “Why're you talking like that? Why are you getting angry at me?”

Jimin blinks at your words, watching the way your eyes look truly clueless, and sheer sadness envelopes him. 

Because it hits him now. Maybe you didn’t say those words to hurt him. Maybe he underestimated your inability to feel. Maybe you really don't get why it was special. Because you really didn't feel why it could be special.

Maybe nothing between the two of you has ever carried any emotion to it, for you.

You have no idea about the emotional turmoil he's been in the past two days when he couldn't get you out of your mind, because you were on a completely different page. This is why it was easy for you to go on that date and then call that guy home the next day.

The night you shared with Jimin doesn't matter to you. Jimin doesn't matter to you.

Not the way he thought. Not the way you do to him.

And his evolving feelings for you, whatever they end up becoming, would only serve to be an inconvenience in your life that you would just ask him to sort out instead of helping him wade through them because… 

This is who you are. 

This is who you've always been.

This is the girl he met in eighth standard, had a crush on, became lifelong friends with, had sex with, and developed more than platonic feelings for.

This is you.

He doesn’t know how to deal with this realization. He can’t deal with this sitting in your kitchen. And he can’t deal with this without a drink.

So he collects his coat and walks out of your house, ignoring your calls of his name and choosing his own sanity over you for once

© jimilter | 2025

[i-got-the-feels]

Art I Made in 2024

January

Most Popular

Kinn, Porsche and parental angst is popular and even my favorite? No one is surprised

Favourite

Other favorites - Pat and Ming | Pran and Dissaya

Again, parental angst, please pretend to be surprised. I remember struggling to find the right coloring to capture the emotions but I'm glad with the final result

February

Most Popular

Was very big brained of me to make killer paradox x Crime and Punishment quote edits and honestly did an amazing job at it - proud of it

Favourite

The show made me cry. I wanted to honor every life yi jae lived and I think I did that

March

Most Popular

Sapphic pining and yearning with galaxy metaphors? You got it, boss

Favourite

This is a 3 parter

My name x The Glory - my favourite badass woman consumed by hurt, anger, guilt and revenge. Know that I was always love you. This edit will always be special to me because it was my first multiple characters across show edit. Glad I participated in the @userdramas event

Queen of tears - using the stripes and gaps in her memory was very big brained of me

Doctor slump - honestly in love with the coloring

April

Most Popular

I love women. I worship well-written woman. I am in awe of woman who can act out these well-written layered characters. Shogun gave me all of this and more

Favourite

The scene in QoT that hurt a lot. When she refused to marry him - though it's clear they both still love each other. She sees herself as a burden because she is sick and doesn't want to be with him but he finally sees the woman he loves now that the loss is imminent - the hurt and resentment didn't matter as long as he had a chance to build and live a life with her. I think the quote perfectly captures it and the coloring captures the melancholy and clarity they both have and it's my second favorite QoT set of mine.

May

Most Popular

Did QoT have it's problems? Yes. But we're those 2-3 months of watching the joy filled with joy and purpose? Also yes. So of course I made a good bye edit when the show ended

Favourite

23.5 was heartwarming and adorable. This edit was my first time doing social media template and honestly did quite a decent job for first time

June

Even when I don't make edit of shows, I make edit of ✨women✨

July

Most Popular

Shin Ha Kyun playing cunty morally grey diva who began to be morally ambiguous after meeting gorgeous young diva who is unhinged is always magical. Thanks to this show for introducing me to Kim Young kwang.

Honestly love the quotes, it's a combination of few quotes and my writing and dare I say I did a badass job

Favourite

Thank you, a bloody lucky day for giving me yoo yeon seok as bloody murderous psychopath, looking forward to more such roles. This edit's idea began because I saw him all bloody, then I saw Jung eun's character die and was like oh this is happening. The quote for her character was hardest to find but I found a good done Finally

August

Most Popular

I've said it earlier, I'll say it again. I watched the show thanks to @guzhufuren and am glad because hua ein and xiao bao have become my favorite grumpy x sunshine couple

Favourite

It is a two parter

The king of pigs

I was NOT prepared for the ending. They only said the bullying was graphic. No one told me I'd cry even after the episode. Jung min shouldn't have been pushed to do what he did. Kyung min shouldn't have had to live with the guilt of witnessing what he did. The anger, the hurt and the sadness at the injustice of what they experience made this edit

Shadow Detective

The first part of the show was GREAT. The second part was mid. You know what was consistent though? Lee sung min's acting and that's what made this edit - the awe and respect I felt for him and how he acted in this scene at the beach.

September

Most Popular

Knowing that she developed feelings for him drove me insane and bought this edit

Favourite

I am a very huge nerd for Episode titles so really love this set and especially gyeongseong creatures being congruent with theme of boundaries - between morality, power and empowerment was chefs kiss.

October

Most Popular

If a show talks about revolution as beautiful as gyeongseong creature does and I don't make an edit, know I'm depressed (like legit, netting the clinical ICD-10 criteria) or dead.

Favourite

This show was beautiful and I'm happy I could pay it a proper tribute. Murder in a small village, where everyone is guilty to some extent, you will always be my favorite

November

Most Popular - Straight

Yoo yeon seok as rich powerful chaebol tsundere is what my dreams are made of. Honestly this edit was born after THE EPISODE 2 SCENE.

Most Popular - Gay

You know the shows trailer was good. When you are sad by it days after watching and it and it reminds you of the music you listened to in your adolescent years, which then you of course continue listening for weeks to come. P'Aof, gemini and fourth, looking forward to my ruining.

Favourite

The Heart Killers Episode 1 and Episode 2 captured really well the desire - be it lust, to belong, yearning and pining

Kant x Bison - the same kant who doesn't bother exchanging names with his hook ups being disappointed bison left!!! the red and oranges-ish hue to show desire and passion and I'm afraid I ate and left no crumbs with quotes

Fadel x Style - fadel's anger and guilt for having a desire and yearning to be loved and to belong but the anger and guilt not being enough to stop making him feel? Delicious. Also once again the coloring and quotes? Perfect. I devoured. The quote took me HOURS to find.

December

Most Popular

Glad I wasn't alone in loosing my mind over style kissing fadel's scar with absolute gentleness and devotion

Favourite

It's a 3 parter

Kant and Style and Guilt - honestly no one likes what Kant is doing, including kant but hating him for it just shows you don't understand him. Honestly, can't remember doing such a word heavy edit but @ropebunnykant liz's trust in me is something I am forever grateful so for thanks a lot love, this - including my writing, happened because of your tags

Fadel x Style x 10 Things I Hate About You - I have never denied being a basic bitch

Kant x Bison x Stories scene - honestly slapped with the coloring and the quote

Thank you @fujunfuren @ryoun @natahjikio @shenzhiheng @spicyvampire for the tag - I love doing at the end of every year. Nice to see the shows I watched, recollect how they made feel and how they played into the editing

I tag @riggerbison @thisautistic @puppy-phum @sparklyeyedhimbo @fadelsburger @bisonsclothespin @pharawee and anyone who wants to do this

[watchingblsnowandforever]

2024: BL Year in Review

(The fact that I'm doing this hours before the year changes is actually the least surprising things of 2024)

Total BLs watched in 2024: 21

BLs watched that aired this year: 12

(BLs currently airing: 2)

(BLs watched this year that started in 2023: 3)

BLs watched that aired before this year: 9

________

10 random superlatives to wrap up my year (these are from series that have aired this year or finished airing this year):

1. The BL that predicted most accurately (the date of legalization of same-sex marriage in Thailand)

Cherry Magic

It shot up to my Top 10 favourite BLs the moment I watched it. It's amazing and everyone should watch it, actually.

2. The most Bromance BL (is it a coincidence that my first two superlatives are both TayNew series? You can't prove anything.)

Peaceful Property

Another BL everyone should watch. It's technically not a BL, but it's a better BL than a lot of the ones I've watched before so.

3. The most average BL

My Love Mix Up Th

Very cute, but unlike Cherry Magic, I think I actually liked the original (Kieta Hatsukoi) better. It was nice, but very average.

4. My most loved omegaverse BL (...yes there were two. But to be fair, it depends on what you consider a 'BL')

Tadaima, Okaeri

It was so adorable. It had a sort of non-traditional ABO relationship (?), but I love how they used ABO to address other (more relevant-) socio-cultural issues.

5. The BL with the most wasted potential

The Trainee

It started off amazing, but the graph became a straight line (pun intended) somewhere in the middle and then went steadily downhill. It had so much potential, the ending physically hurt.

6. The most wacky BL (that I loved)

Century of Love

It's actually pretty great, but it's just so wacky (which makes it more adorable honestly). It kept surprising me too, which is always nice (...except when it's not).

7. The BL I (know I'm gonna) have the most love-hate relationship with

ThamePo

This is the first (hopefully only) BL that made me sob in the first episode. But it's so good. I almost cried twice in the second episode too, this is awful. (Then why do I love it?)

8. BL that gave me the most whiplash

The Heart Killers

If you haven't guessed already, I am insane about and insanely obsessed with FadelStyle. If we're watching the same series, I know you are too. :)

9. BL with the worst crash landing (26372892 dead, everyone else injured)

Last Twilight

If you watched this, you know. I have nothing else to add.

10. My favourite BL of the year

We Are

I'm very sure anyone who even clicked on my blog in April-July this year knows this. This silly little show just hit a chord in me and it never stopped ringing.

Honourable mentions:

1. BL with the most episodes ever in Thai BL history

Perfect 10 Liners

24 episodes. That's all I have to say.

2. My most loved new pairing

MarcPoon

The above gif is moments before The ChainPun KissTM. And let me tell you. They didn't only understand the assignment, they showed everyone else exactly how to do it too.

GL version:

1. The one that really tried

23.5

2. The best GL (I have watched)

Pluto

Please watch it.

If this post seems hurried, it kinda was 😭-

I'm just glad I could get this out in time T-T

Thank you so much if you got this far! ☺️🫶🏼

Here, have a new year's cake hehe 🎂

[httpiastri]

paul aron's hair throughout the 2024 season 💁‍♂️

(also known as pt2 of jack being obsessed with a certain blonde curly-haired boy)

hello everyone and happy new year! i hope your 2024 has been lovely and that 2025 provides you with tons of joy and love. 💗

i'm back again with yet another paul hair appreciation post! i loved making it last year and so ive been thinking about it all year and collecting pics 🥰 last year i remember having to search really hard fo some of the pics – two weekends i even had only three pics 😭 but this year i've really had to kill my darlings because i've deleted so so many pics that i like just bcs i didn't want to make this too overwhelming... and i still ended up over 300 pictures..... 😶

last two things before we get started: the wind is my best friend nowadays because of how it affects his hair. so many pics here of his hair in all kinds of directions (and esp the gifs).... anD if you see any pic here that you want in it's original form, lmk and i'll post it for you!! i will keep the pics saved on my phone for a few days before i delete them to make space lol.

soooo hope you enjoy!! and check out last year's edition hereee if you want. 💗

‎‎ ‎

bahrain

some pics from before the season started (testing & media days) and some from the first weekend! very messy at times, esp after sessions, but very cute. feels like maybe this was before he started caring a lot abt his hair and how it looks even during the race weekends? if you get what i mean? like some weekends it looks a bit too perfect that it feels like he made sure it looked like that… maybe? anyways very cute!

‎‎ ‎

jeddah

pretty long hair? very cute!! also looked pretty light despite how dark it was there when they drove during the evening etc. the middle row from the prema lap from when he was talking to ollie 🫶

‎

melbourne

shorter than in jeddah so a little haircut? looks pretty thin also?? hmm but very curly 🥰 love the middle and most right pics in the top row also lmao, love mid-workout expressions 😁

‎

formula e

pics both from his tests and his race round in fe! his hair looks so fried in the top left pic eye 😭 it was very fly-y this weekend? wanted to escape everywhere all the time so i had tons of pics of little strands everywhere! curls go crazy 🥹

‎

imola

looks very dark here actually!! and kinda short also? love the little tips of the curls like that too aaaaa 😭 and the ways some certain individual curls are so spirally and just……. aaaaaa cute

‎

monaco

love the sight of his hair poking out of his cap/balaclava etc (first three pics) aaaaaa !!!! and his hair in the belvita pic 😭 looks like he has little horns :(( so messy and cute. and the post-race interview? it was high at the back that it looked like one of those old hairstyles??? idk what its called but i think you understand

‎

barcelona

also very dark despite the sun! 😯 and not super fluffy or cute etc but still yk very good hair. 😌

‎

spielberg

TOP LEFT PIC. THE LITTLE 🌱. I CANNOT TAKE THIS GUYS I JUST CANT. his hair after the sprint race was truly something new also…. i mean yes it was very warm so obvs very sweaty but damn it looks so crazy 😭 (stupidly enough i didnt put them together, but it's the top four pics on the right side and bottom two on the left side)

‎

silverstone

bad weekend race-wise but amaaazinnggggg weekend hair-wise. so so long curls, so curly, so poofy!! actually probably my favorite hair weekend. just so adorable. never needed to brush my fingers through his locks this much before….

‎

hungaroring

pole aron >>> everything 🥰 dont have a lot to say, i just adore the post-race messiness and esp in combination with his pink cute cheeks? also maybe i shouldnt comment his looks since this is a hair post buttt the middle pic on the left side? baby baby baby???? (and the middle middle pic still gives me nightmares ngl)

‎

spa

probably my second fave hair weekend? so so light!!! actually managed to sneak a pic i took of him into this 🥺 (the quality is terrible BUT i took it!! yay!!!!) i actually never watched this episode of "chasing the dream" until last night (was heartbroken bcs of the feature 🥲) and oh my goD it was such a good paul episode? so so many amazing paul shots?? of his hair yes but just him in general and his cute face and his smile?? his pretty baby blue eyes?!?!?!!!??!!!!! insane. will be watching it every night to have happy sweet dreams 🥰

‎

summer break

cowboy paul 🤠 hair looked a lot lighter after his italy visit but idk how much time he actually spent in the sun? considering his fair northern european skin? (like im also northern european so i know it's hard to keep your hair in the sun to bleach it and still keep your skin safe 🥲) it was SO hard to make this collage without spending five hours just staring at his abs, ngl.

‎

monza

why do the top four pics give me like… golf vibes? like he's sitting there trying to see if the ball went into the hole?? ANYWAYS. kinda dark considering how light it looked during the summer break?? but very defined curls. *chefs kiss*

‎

baku

not as curly as sometimes, just… very messy? kinda flat at times, pretty light and fluffy other times. very cute nonetheless <33 (also speaking of him and his hairline… some pics here are ruthless in that way aaaa)

‎

qatar

looove the way the hair curls around the cap he's wearing when he's out in the wind!! like he has some kind of fluffy padding in it yk?? b a b y. the pics of him right after the feature race are crazy, the hair is everywhere but i understand that he had other things to care about 😭

‎

abu dhabi

the pics on the far right are from a vid on the f2 story from that weekend and i was kinda heartbroken that i chose the collage format to only include his hair and not his facial expressions, because he was SO babyboy in that video. (it's still available in their story highlights! check it out if you havent seen it yet!!!) the curls are so defined and curly but so so pretty, like not very messy just !!! feels like maybe he properly styled them very well this weekend? because the curls look so perfect at times that im like "yeah he didnt just wake up like that". (and that's more than okay!!! 🥰) except for when he just got out of the car lmao like the bottom left pic. insane

‎

other breaks/postseason

mixed pics from random breaks, and pics from after the season (like his seat fitting with alpine)! some of the pics from the parc ferme photoshoot are also very very 🌱, like the top two on the column row! adorableeeee!! the curls also look definitely styled from the family's trip to rome? and the bottom two pics of the second and third column from some forest visit with karl, the hair was adorable :(

‎

gifs !!!

just some random gifs of his hair movement 🫶 as ive already said, i love the wind! thank you mother nature for your hard work!!! also paul running and his hair flopping up and down like a dog's ears will NEVER get old, just saying

if anyone made it this far, thank you for looking & reading!! hope you enjoyed and hope you're maybe at least somewhat near as obsessed as me <33

[f4ggydog]

Puppy!Shauna who begs you to come inside her when she's in heat

:D

🪲

cause you know daddddy’s homeeeee home for meeeee (you should all sing this song because I’m back to writing again)

being truthful with herself, shauna would admit there’s only rare moments where she isn’t a giant ball of desperation. she succumbs to her urges briskly, not leaving room for contemplating whether this is an ideal time to break down and crumble into little pieces.

oh, but you indulge her. as you always do. why would today be an exception to that significant rule? plus, it was dangerous to deny shauna during her heat, borderline unhealthy. at least that’s what she told you. but you weren’t going to hold your horses and find out. god forbid anything harmful happened to your cherished omega.

“y-your cock is so good,” shauna wails, arching her back and raking her fingernails through the thin bedsheets.

“yeah? big enough for you, baby?” you flash an arrogant grin, setting a rhythmic pace as the smacking of slick skin echoes around the bedroom. the bed creaks from the force of your thrusts and shauna’s moans bounce along the walls.

“d-don’t slow down baby,” she pleads in a croaky voice. your cock’s so massive shauna swears she can feel the tip hitting her cervix. and there’s nothing you adore more than seeing a decent bulge in shauna’s belly.

“you’re not even worried if I’m hurting you,” you chuckle. “don’t think it would even matter that much to you anyway. as long as you got cock in your pussy, seems like you’re content with just about anything.”

“y-yes, yes!” sweat rolls down shauna’s back and reaches the curves of her ass.

“you don’t even know what you’re answering to, little pup. just saying yes cause it’s the only word your brain can comprehend right now? not surprising. you’re better like this anyway, all fucked out raw with your mind broken.”

how could you not indulge shauna when her pussy squeezed your cock so tight? when her pussy had a grip around your cock like a vise? when her pussy remained intent on milking your dick for all its worth?

you weren’t going to last long. no fucking way. shauna’s pussy was already creaming around your cock and the snug heat was too much for you to bear.

“j-just need it so bad,” shauna groans after a particularly ruthless series of thrusts. “w-whatever y-you can give me. p-please, can’t live without it.”

“oh, you’re such a desperate little fuck toy,” you rasp. “what if I told you if I told you I’m cumming soon? is that enough of a gift for my greedy mutt?”

shauna smudges her head against the pillow, balling up the sheets with her fists. sob after sob falls from her throat, her body vibrating and shaking the bed like you two were stuck on the titanic.

“please, please, please, please.” shauna reaches the height of her thirst, her appetite for your dominance. there’s nothing that gets her off harder than your cock pumping load after load into her sore hole. if her abused pussy isn’t soothed by your creamy ropes of cum, shauna’s orgasm can’t trigger.

“fucking hell,” you purr. “you need me to empty my balls inside of you? that’s your purpose, right puppy? sure, i’ll take care of you and give you food from your little puppy bowl. but, what you really need is to be used like a fucking cumdump, right?”

“please, p-please.” it’s the only words shauna can utter. all other words have escaped her mind. aside from bleats and whimpers of deep ecstasy, her vocabulary has been reduced to what accurately represents her only wishes now.

“fuck!” you slam into shauna, feeling a coil in your belly about to release. you’re impossibly hard, painfully erect to the point that it hurts. you can’t even edge yourself and prolong your seventh heaven. you just need that tension to dissipate.

“cum inside me,” shauna chants like she’s at a sports game rooting for her favorite team. “p-please, need to get filled. n-need to get bred. p-please, need it so much.”

shauna could barely talk. if screams and whines hadn’t substituted most of her words, she would’ve gone mute. her palms are sweaty and her inner thighs pool with sweat.

“take it.” you punctuate your words with every brutal thrust. “fucking take it all. fuck, you’re so fucking good for me. you’re such a perfect little cum dump. god, there’s no pussy worth breeding that isn’t yours.”

you let out a silent scream. you tilt your head back, your thrusts getting sloppy and the wetness of the slaps enticing you further. your cock is a pure spasming mess, flopping and writhing like a fish out of water. those balls of yours completely drain themselves inside of shauna, painting her insides sticky and white.

shauna’s mind has completely melted into a puddle. it’s as if you fucked her brains out, like she’s lost the ability to think properly. she’s shivering on the bed, whispering words of gratitude for breeding her womb. shauna’s blood is buzzing, white noise pounding in her ears.

“fuck.” you wipe a thick layer of sweat from your forehead. “you look good all exhausted like this. you really are your prettiest when you’re purely used for my cock.”

[rabidlestat]

Ok I think I can be more coherent on my thoughts now from Les mis yesterday

First up I forgot how much Valjean gets the shit beaten out of him in the first two songs. Rip my guy

The bishop? Incredible

We had Emily Fink as Fantine and she was INCREDIBLE! I don't usually cry during I dreamed a dream but man that got me.

The confrontation 100/10 Colin Anderson Valjean and Nick Rehberger Javert are insane. My race is not yet run always gives me chills and this did not disappoint

Master of the house. Oh my god I could write a whole post on this song. The Thenardiers were so good. Matt Crowle was fucking hilarious. Kyle Adams cameo going THRU it they fed him his own vomit???? I was in tears. Also him and that woman 100/10 good for him (and her)

Bye bye Baguette will live rent free in my mind for the rest of my life

Enjolras??? I would follow him to my death too.

Eponine is INCREDIBLE! Also I met Mya Rena Hunter after the show and she was really nice! But oh my god her and Marius. And she's really badass. And her voice yall.

Ok red and black. There's SO MUCH! Enjolras 100/10 once again would follow to my death. Grantaire fucking around the entire song, prancing around the stage and I think he sat in multiple people's laps? Also long hair Grantaire was an amazing choice whoever did that you're a genius. Staring longingly at Enjolras in between fucking around. Book accurate Grantaire for the win.

GRANTAIRE AND GAVROCHE! Fucking killed me. I'm still not over it. After DYHTPS they're pretty much together the rest of the show and god they fucking kill me. Grantaire protecting Gavroche multiple times. Bruh

You guys Marius and Cosette are so awkward and adorable. Cosette disappearing in the window and Marius "I'm doing this all wrong" sad puppy face. Eponine in the background god.

ONE DAY MORE! The song of all time I'm not even kidding.

Ok ok I'm gonna write less now but

On my own and a little fall of rain broke me. Once again Eponine was incredible. Gavroche being the one to notice that she's dying in Marius' arms and once again Grantaire comforting him, and the rest of the barricade turning to watch.

Grantaire guarding Javert oh my god. I would pay actual money to know what he said to Javert.

DRINK WITH ME! Oh my god. Everyone giving a cheer when Grantaire starts because they think he'll say something funny, and instead he says that. The change in attitude. Him and Enjolras. Gavroche comforting him. Afterwards they're in the corner of the stage and and you can see them hugging.

Bring him home was incredible. Again. Chills.

I could also do a whole post on Gavroche's death. First of all Grantaire is pulled away from going after him and just stands facing the audience. The look on his face. You hear a gunshot and then silence, and then Gavroche climbs back up and there's so much relief and Enjolras is holding his shirt to pull him down and then he gets shot. Enjolras catches him. Grantaire walks over and gestures for Enjolras to hand him the body and then is holding Gavroche until the final battle.

Final battle bruh. Grantaire kissing Gavroche's head, laying him down, and then going to the barricade. He and Enjolras' moment. Enjolras climbing the barricade and falling forwards when he's shot. I'm pretty sure I heard "long live the republic I am one of them" Grantaire being the last to die. The theater was completely still and silent afterwards.

The fucking cart carrying Enjolras' body made me audibly say what the fuck. Javert looking at Gavroche's body.

Empty chairs at empty tables. The choreography was incredible I feel like it's usually just them standing there but it was more with candles and stuff. Yes I was crying.

the wedding/beggars at the feast. Once again Thenardiers are amazing. Kyle Adams as the wedding guy once again prancing around stage. Amazing dance moves. BATF is one of my favorite songs. Lyrics changes to "this one's a queer I might try it too" and Thenardier dancing with a man. Insane.

And then I ugly cried my way thru the epilogue

Afterwards I met Mya and Kyle and they were SO NICE! I made a joke post about screaming crying throwing up on IG that Kyle reposted and then he was screaming crying throwing up in our pictures and I was laughing my ass off. He's really funny. Mya was so nice! Her and my friend were talking because they're both Mya's and both have septum piercings lmao

I'm very tempted to go see it again before it leaves

[thehollowwriter]

Some Alumni Trio Tidbits:

☆Ezra was in Pomefiore and also the dorm leader

☆Morrigan, as you all know, was in Savanaclaw. He might have become dorm leader, buuuut he nearly killed his own dorm leader so he was kinda barred from that 💀

☆Alastair was in Octavinelle and was the vice dorm leader! He came up with several different ways to charge people for different things lmfao. (Octavinelle had an entrance fee for non-Octavibelle students 💀)

☆The three of them were considered oddities since they were all from different dorms and yet almost exclusively hung out with each other

☆They had a nice arc bc at first they were all terrible enablers that brought out the worst in each other but now do their best to keep each other from spiralling (Especially Ezra because he was not having a good time post NRC)

☆Morrigan nearly punched Ezra's father square in the face after first meeting him (it took immense self-restraint)

☆Out of the three of them, Alastair's parents are the best lol. Everyone loves Alastair's parents

☆Yes the poison Ezra brewed to become Pomefiore's dorm leader is an earlier version of the one he used to kill more than one of his husbands

☆Alastair insisted on being called Constantine when he was at NRC because he felt it sounded cooler than his actual name and was also the name of a mage he looked up to. Ezra still calls him Constantine as a joke and tries to get Finn to do it to lmao

☆Morrigan dedicated half a year to pestering Alastair to turn into a horse lmfao "I'm a kelpie. Keep going, and I will drown you." "Hah, part kelpie! And I'm a shark, you can't drown me" "Watch me" (they started laughing two minutes later)

☆Ezra and Alastiar insisted on showing Silas the recording of their VDC performance (much to Morri's slight embarassment lol)

☆Alastair ADORES Mostro Lounge now that he's found out about it. He's asking Azul 10 million questions (and telling Finn he made a great choice *wheeze*)

☆Ezra is quite impressed with the new Pomefiore dorm leader (Vil) and their VDC performance (he is quite furious RSA won though you won't see it on his face)

☆Alastair started bawling and Ezra was near tears too when they were chosen to be Finn and co's godfathers

☆The trio went on a very chaotic road trip after graduation (Morrigan lost the map, the car broke down, and they got lost 💀 but they made memories ✨️)

Tagging: @distant-velleity @br3adtoasty @rainesol @theleechyskrunkly @jovieinramshackle

@galaxies-and-gore @cyanide-latte @cynthinesia @officialdaydreamer00 @krenenbaker

@offorestsongs @kitwasnothere @elenauaurs @boopshoops @inotonline

@1dont-really-know @kazumify @minteasketches @elysia-nsimp @skrimpyskimpy

@casp1an-sea @offorestsongs @tixdixl @poisoned-pearls @the-trinket-witch

@ramshacklerumble @ghostiidasponk @thegoldencontracts @sillyslipperybananapeel @cloudcountry

@skriblee-ksk @twstinginthewind @lumdays @theolivetree123 @natsukishinomiyaswife

@authoruio @jewelulu @raguiras @moonyasnow @skibidibabygirl

@quartztwst @yuizenihaswriten @devosin @oya-oya-okay @b0njourbeach

@kirans-wonderland @coffinkissez @idikeis

[valley-of-headcanons]

(I think this is the right way to do this? We'll see)

I was hoping you could do Sebastian and/or Elliott with a pregnant farmer? Dealers choice between headcannons or oneshots!

Thank you! 😁

elliott and sebastian with their first child || headcanons

the boys are finally parents! how are they going to handle this new challenge?

warnings: anything pregnancy related, female bodied farmer with gender neutral pronouns, referred to as mother.

requested by: @merrymagpiesmess , hiya, thank you for requesting! sorry it took so long to get around to it, but i deeply appreciate it! this was fun to write, thank you so much!! :) [also, consider this a part 2 to the alex one :) ]

elliott

• Elliott pictured a very romantic, idealized life for himself. He wanted the cozy house, the loving spouse, and the two beautiful kids. Yes, to many it may seem unrealistic, but Elliott adored the thought. He understands that it may not be in the cards, but he's certainly manifesting! Right now, he has the life that he's dreamed of. He would love to have children with you!

• When he first found out you were pregnant, Elliott was ecstatic! He was so in love with you, and he was so excited to go through the beautiful progress of pregnancy. Bringing a human into this world was so beautiful to him, as most things in life were. He was so excited to be doing something so monumental with you.

• Elliott wrote a lot about you, your pregnancy, and your future child. Late night journaling sessions had many thoughts about you, you were all that flooded through his mind despite being married for so long. You were forever his muse, especially now. He wrote piles and piles of poetry about your pregnant glow and the child that you were carrying. He was so excited, and he couldn't believe how beautiful you were.

• Constantly showering you with affection, Elliott was very considerate of you during the pregnancy. Late night runs to Joja Mart were frequent, getting whatever you needed at the drop of a hat. You were so busy, even while pregnant! It was admirable in his eyes, and he wanted to shower you with as much affection as he could.

• As the time came to deliver the baby, Elliott was by your side the entire way to the hospital. He fulfilled your every request, showering you with words of encouragement and soft kisses on your forehead for comfort. He was worried, of course he was, a child was coming out of you. But, he knew in his heart, that everything would go perfectly.

• When everything was said and done, Elliott was incredibly excited. He was calm, making sure to hold you and let you have a moment to breathe. You meant everything to him, and you made sure to ask if you were okay. Yes, the baby had just been born, but he needed to take care of his spouse first and foremost. After knowing you were okay, he then started to discuss the baby. He was so excited to hold his newborn, he was already teary eyed.

• “Hello, my love ... goodness, you are so beautiful. You have the eyes of your mother, and the nose of your father. I ... for the first time in my life, I have been rendered speechless. You ... are going to be something special. You are the most special sum of atoms that have ever come to be. My dear, I hope that I shall give you the joy that your mere presence has given me.”

sebastian

• Sebastian never really thought about kids until you came into the picture. He didn't think he'd make a really good dad, as he really didn't have a good idea of what a father really is. His dad isn't around, and his stepdad is not the best to him. He never really thought that he could be a dad, but he wasn't against it. He just hadn't put too much thought into the subject.

• When he first found out that you were pregnant, Sebastian was shocked to say the least. He didn't really expect it, but he didn't show it. He gave you a smile and a kiss, happy despite the uncertainty. He didn't want you to worry, as you were the one actually carrying the child, and it would be much harder on you. So, he pushed his anxiety away until later. He showed his love and support for you right away.

• Late nights caught up to Sebastian. He sat in the realization that he really didn't know how to be a father. He didn't want to be like Demetrius: incredibly demeaning and awful toward him. But, on the other hand, he didn't want to be like his father: a deadbeat. So, he was stuck between worlds, freaking out over what may be the right thing. He spent many sleepless nights on parenting websites, or asking reddit what to do. He was stressed, to say the very least.

• During the pregnancy, Sebastian was very attentive to you. He would keep you company if you were ever suffering from pain, giving your belly soft kisses and holding your hand. He was stressed, and he didn't admit that to you until after the pregnancy was done. You did notice he was a bit more on edge than usual, so you tried to reassure him when you could. But, at nights, he was still trying to come up with a game plan.

• Soon, the baby was coming. Sebastian was freaking out inside, but managed to stay semi-calm on the outside. Not enough for you to notice, at least. However, you were going into labor, so you probably weren't paying much attention. He was by your side, holding your hand and saying a few reassuring phrases. They were for both of you, but it definitely calmed your nerves. He hoped everything would be okay in the end.

• After everything, Sebastian was drained but ... more than anything, he was happy. A smile landed on his face, holding your hand as you two waited for your baby to be brought to you. He kissed your knuckles, his nerves seeming to disappear. Being a father was going to be okay, because your child had the most wonderful mother. So, when Sebastian held his child for the first time, he was trying his hardest not to cry.

• ”Oh, wow ... you're a little human, in my hands, and real ... I ... didn't realize how real this moment would feel. I'm a father, and you're my little baby ... you're just a little guy, aren't you? Hehe ... you're such a cutie. I think we're gonna be okay, you think? I think so ... and I was so scared. Why was I so scared? You're really just a bundle of joy.”

[peterm4rker]

BLUE'S CORNER !!

how happy it makes me to get tagged in these things is not even funny, but yeah ! i don't have many works to do this with, but i did my best !

FIRST FIC OF 2024 !!

ᯓ ¿donde está la biblioteca? [zhong chenle] — september 9th, 2024.

my first ever post and my absolute baby. this smau is completely self indulgent and was brewing in my head for so long before i actually decided to post it (i was terrified). i'm forever grateful for the people that encouraged me to put it out there !! it helped me find a community that i hold so dearly to my heart now, and i will love them forever !!

LAST FIC OF 2024 !!

ᯓ can't help falling [kim jaehee] — december 29th, 2024.

my first post that isn't nct dream !! i have to say that it is one of my favorite fics i've ever written, and it is also completely self indulgent. jaehee has owned my heart since lastart, and i think he (and nct wish in general) deserve way more love and recognition so i hope i can be part of that !!

LONGEST FIC !!

ᯓ can't help falling [kim jaehee] — 3.7k words.

i'm counting this one because i don't think the smaus count so... i have kind of a hard time writing long fics because i have a nonexistent attention span, but i'm working on it !! i hold this fic very close to my heart and i hope that all of you like it as much as i do !!

MOST POPULAR FIC !!

ᯓ from the rooftops [mark lee]

its not a written fic, but it is my most popular one. you all knew i couldn't be me without writing a spidermark fan fiction, and i'm very happy that so many people like it !! i'm taking this fic to next year, so hopefully it will continue receiving as much love as it has till now.

PERSONAL FAVORITE !!

ᯓ the stich that stole christmas [lee donghyuck]

this was haechan's peterm4rker debut and part of a christmas collaboration i did with my self (@tmrwsuns btw wink). i have to say i'm a very big christmas person even though i don't really celebrate it, so writing something for who i have the biggest soft spot for was my way to share that with all of you. i genuinely enjoyed thinking of it, writing it and i'm super happy with how you guys welcomed it, so overall it's my baby !!

i couldnt choose to put them in the banner because i simply adore them all. although i started posting fairly recently, i have at least one fic planned for each of the units and i will continue to write about all of them !! still, i needed to choose my top three, and i think no one will be surprised.

ONE. mark lee — 15,200 words + full length smau.

mark is my everything. the obsession i have with him is a little unhealthy at this point, but i love it and i don't care. to be completely honest, i sometimes have a hard time making my fics not be about mark, because he genuinely is in my head every second of every day. find him in: from the rooftops , wondering why , little white lie.

TWO. zhong chenle — 9,647 words + full length smau.

the fucker who started the peterm4rker industry. i love love love chenle (i despise him), even if he has moved second to mark over time... and yes, i counted the words of the written chapters and so what. find him in: ¿donde está la biblioteca?

THREE. kim jaehee — 3,703 words.

have i posted him literally once? yes, but he has the highest word count out of everyone i've only posted once. i love him so deeply that i could talk about him for hours, so i'm thinking i shut up before i bore all of you. find him in: can't help falling

@morkiee

the love i have for this little person is not something i can explain in words i think. i enjoy every second when we talk and i have to literally contain myself from exploding at how fucking adorable you are. you make my days better every time you text me and i hope you never forget that. my rave date and my pookie, i'm forever grateful to have you in my life<3

@lyvhie

MY BABY MY WIFE MY EVERYTHING !! i cannot express how much i fucking adore you and how grateful i am that i met you (even if it took us about 289843 years). thank you for always listening to my voice messages even when they're about 5 minutes long of me complaining about a MAN (it's soooo over) and for literally making my life better every day<3

@sinisxtea

oh hey i love you? i'm so incredibly grateful that i texted you (or did you text me?) because you opened the doors to this beautiful little community for me. thank you for always including me and showing me your freaky ass fics, even when all you have is a picture of a man falling through a ceiling. you fr are the wonhyuk to my wonjun (stan e'last please guys)<3

@yizhrt

one of the sweetest people i've encountered here even when we don't really speak much !! you're so cute and funny, and i always think of you because i have this brazilian hair cream called lola... i've been meaning to send you a pic for so long but i'm embarrassed so please bear with me.

@leejenoenthusiast

i literally adore you !! you're so fucking funny and always so supportive of all my works, i'm always happy whenever i see your name on anything !! i promise i will continue to send you pictures of woozi whenever it comes to mind<3

@neozon3nha

have we spoken much? no. do i still love you whole heartedly? yes. like i'm sooo fr when i tell you that i always get sooo happy when i see your user name on my screen like i'm literally cheering internally !!

@yutarot

i haven't spoken to you in SO long (i'm omw to text you when i'm done with this) but still i want you to know that you have a very special place in my top moots !! you've never been anything but kind and encouraging to me, so thank you for everything !!

@nlovesbjh

we just started talking very recently but i think you're really sweet and funny !! i'm glad we can share our delusions to each other, and i hope we can get to know each other better <3

some people i'd love to know better but i'm way too embarrassed to reach out to:

@viasdreams @strrykais @susicheng @wonbin-truther @sunghoonsgfreal @yoshit-he-dinosaur

i'm sorry for randomly tagging you !! i hope we can be closer in the future <3 (im shaking in my boots rn)

© peterm4rker, 2024

[starcraftt]

YES YES YES YES. I lOOOVE GOLDEN HOUR :star_struck:

platonic !

lowkey think that pony offers to sleep in the lot eeeevvverrryy single night with johnny?? or drags him over to the curtis house so he doesn't have sleep outside again.

when johnny does begrudgingly allow pony to stay with him—or johnny crashes at the curtis household—they,, sleep,, so,, close to each other. either shoulder to shoulder, or like, one of them has their arm lazily sprawled over the other, back to chest.

johnny is and will always forever be a morning owl to me, so he's usually out by nine/ten pm, eleven at latest ( not by choice. his body just relaxes nd he's out man ), wakes up early and somehow almost always manages to catch the sunrise. those days when pony's with him, he'll wake the younger up so they can watch it.

FDSF WAIT WAIT I FORGET THAT PONY CAN DRAW ND PAINT ND SHIT SO HE HAS A MILLION DRAWINGS OF JOHNNY STASHED SOMEWHERE, nd a couple paintings he forgot about!!

one day johnny found the paintings/drawings and cried, seeing the way pony looked and saw him. the way johnny was seen through pony's eyes. legend says that he stole almost all of them.

pony's painted/drawn a picture that he, himself is really proud of. it's nothing special ( so he says ) but it's a memory, of watching the sunrise together. seeing johnny in that light, he was itching to draw it. so he did. he hid it somewhere and is just waiting for the right time to give it to johnny. this painting is not one of the one johnny found.

not even, they're SO touchy with the other, not like, holding hands or anything bc thats not tuff but like, having their arm on the other's shoulder, or pony likes putting his arm around johnny's shoulder. almost always they walk side by side, connected at the hip.

ABSURD AMOUNT OF CUDDLING yes as friends. GENUINELY ITS INSAAANE.

whenever they're in a conversation nd johnny admits something pony disagrees with, this guy will and cannot outwardly disagree with the love of his life johnny, so he jst nods happily and moves along. this is why johnny thinks pony likes most things that he doesn't.

one time johnny fell asleep with his head on pony's shoulder and pony did not breath until johnny woke up. he jst sat there, frozen. getting a weird look from soda when he walked in.

johnny one hundred percent goes to pony's track meets, and cheers pony on. after the meet he always always finds pony right after and says he does great. always. pony also says that johnny's his good luck charm. he does seem to do better when johnny's there.

when johnny does show up at his meet, nd pony notices him, there's a cute moment of johnny's shy smile nd pony's grin matched with a wave. it's adorable every time.

whenever pony drags johnny to the library with him—usually in hopes to study for something coming up—it almost always ends with johnny finding a book that sounds interesting and convincing pony to read it to him.

romantic !

you might've seen this one, that's why i shall put it first, but here's that one i also made a fic about it if you'd like to check it out ! here

I KID YOU NOT THESE TWO DORKS WERE IN LOVE THE MOMENT: pony: he saw johnny's actual smile for once johnny: when he got injured in a rumble and pony fussed over him, patching him up even when darry offered to do so.

they were in love with each other before they knew it though its okay.

sometimes—pre-relationship—when pony couldn't sleep at the lot with johnny, he'd jst stay up. writing a shitty but adorable love letter to johnny that he'll never get of course, mostly worried that he'll wake up and ask what he's writing.

somehow they got even more touchier. they ,, they hold hands now !! my babies,, they grow up so fast johnny's not one to initiate the hug, but whenever pony's arms end up around him, he will not let go for the next ten minutes. he jst loves soaking in the warmth that pony brings to him. literally and figuratively.

the rush of happiness the two get whenever they see each other?? like fr there's just a adrenaline rush that runs through their veins when they see the other. a grin spreading over their faces as they try to not make it seem weird; but they're both utterly smitten.

since dally's lowkey jealous of pony nd johnny's close relationship, when they announced that they're together, i kid you not dally had pony by the throat, giving him the stern dad talk that the boyfriend gets. ( etc: "you hurt him, you die." )

kisses. all the kisses. they love chaste kisses for some reason, just a peck on the mouth before pulling away.

i feel like pony would zone out ALL the time when johnny's talking, jst too in love for his own good until he snaps out of it when johnny kisses him on the cheek. of course there're better ways to wake someone up from their head, but they both enjoy this one.

they're both so in love; even soda gets sick at the looks they give each other. not really he jst says that to tease them

but more on the looks they give each other,, they're both so cute about it omlll. pony often finds himself trailing off with his monologue as he reads to johnny from a book, admiring his features, rapt. he only snaps out of his stupor when johnny looks up at him with a questioning look. nd pony darts his gaze away so fast, continuing to read whilst his mind is distracted.

"pony you're reading the same line over and over"

"oh . . . sorry johnny." *proceeds to read the same line again*

johnny love love loves admiring the spark in pony's eyes whenever he talks about something he feels deeply about. watching the swirl of green and grey earnestly talk about how much he hates steve. johnny doesn't realize this, too distracted. otherwise he'd often speak up for steve, saying that he's not that bad.

on one of their anniversaries, probably a one month one, pony finally gave him that painting he did of the sunrise and johnny—he lowkey panicked when he saw tears in johnny's eyes.

the amount of love letters johnny finds everywhere from his jacket pockets to just being handed to him from pony is crazy. he keeps every one and tears up whenever he reads them, remembering how much and unconditionally pony loves him.

I’m thinking about Johnny and Ponyboy again…

[hanzajesthanza]

geralt is also a most real depiction of good quality fatherhood and great girldad representation because EVEN THOUGH witchers don’t even experience aging at the same rate as non-GMO humans, EVEN THOUGH it would be “biologically impossible,”

geralt having had been raising a pre-teen girl for maybe a few months to a year already “gave the impression of having aged,” his “face slashed by wrinkles.” the emotional toll on this man from raising she-devil ciri

and this is only the very beginning of the saga. BEFORE everything goes to shit. the wrinkles have set in

[moeblob]

Windy at my house + power flickering = no comm work = quick laptop doodle

[i-really-like-phrogs]

And here we have… yet another Aziraphale! He is most certainly my favorite fellow, positively tickety-boo.