#and yes there's a reason why they're in the image

[babyblankyerror]

The mental image I have of this of Stan just trying to nab chocolate from the air whilenkne hand is missing through a portal, awkwardly bumping into walls like the DVD sign. Meanwhile Ford is SHOOK.

OOOH! YES! I like to think no kne has any idea that Stan can do this and they just accept it as part of Gravity Falls until the mystery twins come along to discover what's causing gravity to...fall. is it the town's name?

The mystery shack gaining things from other dimensions is such a fun concept! Especially if they're all mislabelled!

Ford, looking at some sort of weapon: Stanley that's...that's not a spinning-bazoo. Whatever that is... that's a-

Stan: I know

Ford: ...

Stan: ...

Ford slowly coming to the realization that Stan had just assumed he had super powers (because why wouldn't he) and has been blaming himself for years :'c

OH!! SO COOL! The longer Stan spends near the portal the more powers and he gets frustrated when they don't work because he knows they should be stronger! He knows because he sent his brother through the portal!

Funnily enough if he hadn't assumed he was the one who sent Ford through the portal then he would have no reason to practice and probably wouldn't find out until some major event.

@maggotpoolautism tags:

Imagining this-

Stan is hopeless, he is panicking because he doesn't know Ford's coordinates, gravity seems to be increasing which makes it harder to breathe.

Then he says "FUCK IT" and just starts sending supplies to random dimensions hoping Ford gets it so in many dimensions myths, legends, cryptic stories start of a random hand blessing / cursing people. It'd be really fucking hilarious if Stan somehow gives water to a population that doesn't have any and his hand becomes some sort of religion to that alien species.

Eventually he learns Ford's coordinates but he's always moving so it's hard to track and ot NEVER crosses his mind to let him know it's him. Like yeah- he'll write a note "what do you need" or "be careful" but never mentions his name or that it's him.

Ford is just receiving existential and cryptic messages and assumes the hand is normal- What does he need? Ah yes, that is a good question...perhaps knowledge hadn't been the answer but family (Stanley is asking what materials he needs). Be careful? What is the hand warning about? Perhaps it is foretelling some near in the future danger (Stan is just worried)!

Even easy notes like "Food?" Ford either feeds the hand which confuses Stan or he's like "Ah yes, the knowledge is the food for the brain" (he is reading at the moment)

Stanford is sent through the portal, meanwhile Stanley gets some mutant powers from the portal.

Why? Because shit sounds like something out of a marvel comic, COME ON!

[xjulixred45x]

sowwy but im absolutely in love with your concept of Yuu!Parent and the Yuus from the manga being siblings, so if you dont mind me i would love to share some random thoughts i have about it <333

Is just, i was thinking that the Yuu siblings after reuniting with Yuu!Parent everyone would be like extra caring because of all the time they have been separated and how Yuu!Parent would be wanting to care of their childs, but would be the Yuu siblings the one taking care and teaching Yuu!Parent everything about Twisted wonderland

And just imagine that now that they parent is in Twisted Wonderland too they would end up showing them up A LOT! But, like, they didn't even mean to bragg about their parent so much, they are just too excited

Alsoooo since Grim refuses to be treaten like the cat he is the he becomes an unoficial son >:3c

OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR WRITING WORK FOR SEVERAL OF MY FAVORITE FANDOMS😍. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR IDEAS.

They mean this work here

And yes! Totally! I already have this mental image that when a new sibling arrived in Twisted Wonderland, the other previous Yuus would stick to them like glue (either worried about how to adapt the new Yuu to this world, knowing why specific family members kept appearing, if their mom/dad was okay, if they were looking for them in their world, etc.), so when Yuu! Parent enters the mix, the kids stick to him like ticks.

Yuu!Parent is so confused about so many things in the world of Twisted Wonderland. What do you mean the coin is different? What is Magicam? WHY IS THERE A TALKING CAT WITH FIRE EARS IN THE HOUSE?!

Yuu!Parent is definitely scared of several things at first (Lilia tried to greet them in her typical head-first way and got hit in the face with a frying pan). As much as Yuu!Parent wants to protect their children now that they has them within reach again, they'll have to accept that they's not even qualified to be in that world. They do, they have the experience, so the children will have to guide them little by little.

The first thing Yuu!Parent becomes familiar with is money, laws, etc. Things to be able to be a "normal" citizen within TWST, and at least give their children a hand in academics. Speaking of which, the Yuus can't stop talking about their parent, so much so that it's almost exhausting, whether it's about how the dormitory has never been cleaner, or when one of them gets a good grade after a study session with Yuu!Parent, or bringing homemade bento boxes to the cafeteria that Yuu!Parent clearly made. They're just so happy to have a sense of normalcy back.

Grim definitely scared Yuu!Parent a lot the first time. Afterward, they thought he was a house cat (much to his outrage), and now he's officially getting the son treatment—no more tuna after 11, he must be in bed before 12, he must wear a sweater in the winter to avoid catching a cold, and in return, he'll get their homemade food. Grim may act tough, but he loves the attention and cuddles.

Yuuken still tries to be the man of the house, but he's relaxed considerably, on the one hand, not being as strict with himself, and on the other hand, being much more protective of Yuu!Parent due to the context. This is an even more dangerous world than the ones they come from. Not only that, but Yuu!Parent has no idea where they stand, so Yuuken is quite vigilant in case anyone tries to take advantage of that.

Yuuka, similar to Yuuken, relaxes considerably when Yuu!Parent is around; it's almost like a switch. When Yuu!Parent isn't around, she reverts to her almost intimidating self, but it's never like that when her parent is around for some reason. She definitely tries to help with errands and teaches Yuu!Parent a few things about TWST culture.

Yuuta is so happy to be cooking with Yuu!Parent again after so many months of heartache that the first time they do it while in TWST, they probably both cry, simply overwhelmed by the joy of being together again. Yuuta probably tells Yuu!Parent about several of the adventures they had (with Yuuna), even if he tries to leave out the scariest details so as not to scare Yuu!Parent shitless (or make them kill Crowley too soon...).

Yuuna bursts into tears as soon as she sees Yuu!Parent at NRC. She's so happy to see them, but on the other hand, she feels it's unfair that whatever brought them to TWST also stole her parent, but she's quickly comforted by Yuu!Parent. They usually spend their time wandering around NRC/Twisted Wonderland in general, shopping for clothes, trying food, practicing tricks with Grim, and trying to catch up on their lives.

When they first arrived at Twisted Wonderland, the shabby dorm had never felt so homey, even after all the siblings arrived, but now it does, filled with laughter, jokes, and noise. NOW IT'S A HOME.

_______

(ESPAÑOL)

OH POR DIOS AMO TUS TRABAJOS DE ESCRITURA DE VARIOS DE MIS FANDOMS FAVORITOS MUCHAS GRACIAS POR TUS IDEAS

¡Y si! ¡Totalmente! De por si tengo esta imagen mental de que cuando llegaba un nuevo hermano a Twisted Wonderland, los otros Yuus anteriores se le pegaban como pegamento (ya sea preocupados sobre cómo adaptar al nuevo Yuu a este mundo, saber porque seguían apareciendo miembros de su familia en específico, si su mama/papa estaba bien, si los estaban buscando en su mundo, etc.), por lo que cuando llega Yuu! Parent a la mezcla, los niños se le pegan como garrapatas.

Yuu!Parent esta tan confundido sobre tantas cosas del mundo de Twisted Wonderland ¿Cómo que la moneda es diferente? ¿Qué es Magicam? ¡¿PORQUE HAY UN GATO CON OREJAS DE FUEGO QUE HABLA EN LA CASA?!

Definitivamente Yuu!Parent se asusta de varias cosas al principio (Lilia quiso ir a saludarlos de su forma típica, de cabeza, y recibió un golpe de sarten en toda la cara), por más que Yuu!Parent quiera proteger a sus hijos ahora que los vuelve a tener al alcance, tendrá que aceptar que no está capacitado para siquiera estar en ese mundo, ellos si, tienen la experiencia, por lo que los niños tendrán que guiarle de poquito a poquito.

El primer aspecto con el que Yuu!Parent se hace familiar es con el dinero, las leyes, etc. Cosas para poder ser un ciudadano “normal” dentro de TWST, y por lo menos darle una mano a sus hijos en aspectos académicos. Hablando de eso, los Yuus no dejan de hablar de su padre/madre, tanto que es casi agotador, ya sea de como el dormitorio nunca hab��a estado tan limpio, o cuando uno de ellos saca una buena nota después de una sesión de estudio con Yuu!Parent, o trayendo a la cafetería bentos caseros que claramente Yuu!Parent hizo. Simplemente están tan felices de volver a tener un sentido de normalidad.

Grim definitivamente asusto mucho la primera vez a Yuu!Parent. Después pensaron que era un gato doméstico (para su indignación), y ahora oficialmente está recibiendo el tratamiento de hijo, ósea, no mas atún después de las 11, debe estar en su cama antes de las 12, debe ponerse un suéter en temporada de invierno para no resfriarse, y a cambio recibirá su comida casera. Grim actuara rudo, pero ama la atención y los mimos.

Yuuken sigue tratando de ser el hombre de la casa, pero se ha relajado considerablemente en un extremo, no siendo tan estricto consigo mismo, y por otro lado siendo mucho mas protector con Yuu!Parent debido al contexto. Este es un mundo aun mas peligroso del que vienen, no solo eso, sino que Yuu!Parent no tiene idea de donde están parados, por lo que Yuuken es bastante atento en caso de que alguien intente aprovecharse de eso.

Yuuka, de forma similar a Yuuken, se relaja considerablemente cuando Yuu!Parent esta cerca, es casi como un interruptor, cuando Yuu!Parent no esta, vuelve a su yo casi intimidante, pero nunca es asi cuando su padre/madre esta cerca por alguna razón. Definitivamente quien trata de ayudar con los mandados y le enseña a Yuu!Parent algunas cosas de la cultura de TWST.

Yuuta esta tan feliz de volver a cocinar con Yuu!Parent después de tantos meses de angustia, que probablemente la primera vez que lo hacen estando en TWST ambos lloran, simplemente muy abrumados por la felicidad de estar todos juntos otra vez. Yuuta probablemente le cuenta a Yuu!Parent varias de las aventuras que tuvieron (junto a Yuuna), aun si trata de quitar los detalles mas aterradores para no espantar a Yuu!Parent (o hacer que mate a Crowley tan pronto…).

Yuuna directamente llora en cuanto ve a Yuu!Parent en NRC, esta tan feliz de verle, pero por otra parte siente que es injusto que lo que sea que los haya traído a TWST también haya robado a su padre/madre, pero es consolada rápidamente por Yuu!Parent. Suelen pasar el tiempo paseándose por NRC/Twisted Wonderland en general, comprando ropa, probando comida, practicando trucos con Grim y tratando de ponerse al día con sus vidas.

Cuando llegaron a Twisted Wonderland, el dormitorio destartalado nunca se había sentido tan hogareño, incluso cuando legaron todos los hermanos, pero ahora sí, lleno de risas, chistes, ruido. AHORA SI es un hogar.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[altairtalisman]

Hammered this out for International Friendship Day because my forgetful ass nearly forgot about this in favour of Art Fight and clinicals-

Not going to tag anyone this time, this applies to everyone because I think a letter of kind words and well wishes should go out to everyone, not just the ones that I know and care for

[hyperlexichypatia]

I've seen basically two response arguments to Kennedy's slurs about autistic people being unable to pay taxes, have a job, play baseball, go on a date, write a poem, or use the toilet.

Both the responses are good and necessary, but I think they're incomplete. The two response arguments are essentially: 1. "That's not true, there are plenty of autistic people who have jobs and go on dates and play baseball," and 2. (largely in response to 1.) "Autistic people deserve acceptance and dignity even if they can't pay taxes or write poetry or use the toilet; people's value isn't determined by their abilities or productivity."

And, again, both of these responses are true and good and necessary. But what I'm not seeing people talk about enough is why Kennedy listed those specific skills, and what he's trying to imply with them. Because, see, when people are reduced to a dehumanized stereotype, "Not everyone is like that dehumanized stereotype" isn't sufficient, and neither is "Even people who are like that dehumanized stereotype deserve respect." The problem is the dehumanization. So let's look at the list of things we supposedly can't do, which Kennedy is using to conjure an image of "Inhuman Unthinking Blob."

Having a job. This is the big one. In American culture, your value, your personhood, is solely dependent on Your Job. Are you a valuable cog in the capitalist machine, or are you a cheap cog in the capitalist machine, or are you so worthless you're not even in the capitalist machine, and therefore have no reason to be alive? So it's good and necessary and important to spell out "A person doesn't have to have a job to be a person with dignity and rights." But there's a larger question out there, which is: What, exactly, constitutes "a job"? Yes, absolutely, everyone should have dignity and rights (and material needs like guaranteed housing, food, and consensual healthcare). But also, most disabled people, including ""severely"" disabled people, can and do perform productive labor benefiting their communities. It's just often labor that capitalist society doesn't classify as "a job," like caregiving, studying, or making art. It's important to say that people shouldn't need "a job" in order to deserve rights or resources. It's also important to point out that disabled people have been doing labor this whole time, just without the dignity, rights, or pay associated with "a job." In a socialist utopia where everyone had their material needs guaranteed, labor would still be done, and a lot of it would still be done by disabled people. That's important. Disabled people's contributions to society matter. And erasing that is something ableists do on purpose -- excluding the labor done by disabled people from the category of "job" is integral to excluding disabled people from the category of "productive" and thus the category "worthy of life."

Paying taxes. This is the most transparently ridiculous one, because absolutely everybody in the U.S. pays taxes. Poor people pay taxes (too much). Rich people pay taxes (nowhere near enough). Undocumented immigrants pay taxes. You buy a Snickers? It's priced $1.79 but you pay $1.92. That's a tax. You live somewhere? You're paying property taxes. You rent your home? How do you think your landlord pays their property taxes? From your rent. You're paying property taxes. You have a crappy underpaid minimum wage job? You're paying FICA. Everybody pays taxes. What Kennedy probably means to imply is "They're too poor to owe federal income taxes." Politicians love pretending that "taxes" means "federal income taxes" so they can claim to "lower taxes" while shifting the tax burden somewhere else (cf. Trump's attempt to claim that tariffs aren't taxes). And. And also. There's another subtle implication in there, that I see a lot from parents and ableists. Because of the deep intersection of ableism and classism, Kennedy is implying "They're too poor to owe federal income taxes" (therefore they're inferior) but also "They're not smart enough to do something complicated like file a tax return." When ableists talk about disabled people who "can't take care of themselves" or specifically "can't pay their bills" or "can't pay taxes," they're intentionally trying to conflate an economic state (having enough money to pay bills/taxes) with a cognitive ability (having the skills/executive function to manage money, budget, pay bills on time, or file a tax return). Kennedy probably doesn't file his own tax return either. I'm sure he has an accountant for that. Presumed-neurotypical people are allowed to do that. The world is full of rich people who lack executive function or money-management skills, whose wealth insulates them from the consequences of that, because they can either afford to just lose money, or they can afford to hire someone to handle it for them. The world is also full of poor people for whom one missed payment has ruined them. The world is also full of disabled people for whom one missed payment has gotten them declared mentally incompetent, institutionalized, or placed under guardianship -- by abled family members who probably hire an accountant to manage their own money. Again, all this is deliberate. Kennedy and other ableists/classists/eugenicsts are intentionally trying to conflate "lacks money," "lacks money management abilities/skills," and "lacks General Intelligence" as one more-or-less interchangeable phenomenon (Note: If you've read this far and haven't figured out my angle yet: There is no such thing as "General Intelligence" and the very concept is harmful).

Write a poem. Again, this is deliberately ambiguous wording -- pretty much anyone can write a poem, including people who can't write or speak. Have you ever expressed an idea in which the words you used had an additional meaning on top of their literal meaning? Boom, you can write a poem. Maybe not a good one. But Kennedy didn't say that autistic people's poetry is bad -- plenty of neurotypical people's poetry is bad too, after all. There is a somewhat positive stereotype floating around that neurodivergent people are creative. We may be tragic, burdens on society, our parents' heartbreak, worthless, stupid, subhuman, but at least we're creative. Probably due to being more animal-like, "closer to nature." And neurobigots like Kennedy absolutely hate this stereotype. No matter how much dehumanization the "positive" stereotype is rooted in, we cannot have any positive attributes at all. They must never let us forget that we have no redeeming value whatsoever. We must be rendered as completely lacking in thought, feelings, expression, and creation. I'm seeing some echos of 18th century racism, too -- a common belief among 18th century white Europeans was that even if non-Europeans were superficially clever, they could produce no "higher culture," no great art or poetry or literature, because they were intrinsically a lower tier of human. This seems to be the root of Kennedy's implication -- not that autistic people "can't" write poetry (anyone can), or that autistic people are bad at writing poetry (most beginners are), but that an autistic person's creative output cannot constitute true poetry, true "high culture," because it comes from an inferior mind.

Play baseball. This is an especially slippery one, because like writing poetry, it's a learned skill with gradations of skill level, not an intrinsic ability that someone does or doesn't have. Most autistic people aren't pro-level baseball players, but neither are most allistic people. And again, Kennedy didn't say "Autistic people are bad at baseball." He said that we would never play baseball. "Has ever played or will ever play baseball" is such a ridiculously low bar that even I can meet it. Technically speaking, I can play baseball. I have played baseball, in school gym class. I know how! You sit there minding your business until it's your turn to stand up, and then someone hands you a bat, and then someone throws a ball, and you're supposed to try to hit the ball with the bat, and in theory, after you fail three times, you're supposed to be allowed to sit back down again and go back to imagining wild self-insert fanfic, but the coach gives you "extra tries" out of pity, so you have to humiliate yourself with five or six attempts instead of three. Yeah. I can play baseball. So what's Kennedy going for with this one? Baseball in the U.S. is associated with two things: American identity, and idyllic midcentury childhood. If autistic people can't participate in America's Pastime, can we really even be Americans? Do we really count as citizens? I don't think Kennedy is personally, ideologically all that committed to xenophobia himself; he's just hitched his wagon to a deeply xenophobic administration because they indulge his medical conspiracy theories. But he knows how to align his goals to the administration's. He knows that his boss is deeply committed to narrowing and restricting who counts as "an American," who's not really part of "our culture," who's not really a part of baseball and hot dogs and the Fourth of July, if you know what I mean. Okay, okay. Maybe I'm reaching with this one. But I'm definitely not reaching with the other association he's going for: Idyllic Midcentury Childhood. All kids play baseball. By which I mean, all boys play baseball. I'm not sure Kennedy knows that girls can play it too, or that he cares. The point is, baseball is part of childhood, and autistic people are never children. We don't play, we don't learn, we don't go through developmental stages, we're just forever Mindless Blobs. That's why things that would be considered cruelty if done to neurotypical children aren't cruelty when they're done to us. We're not really children. We never become adults, either -- how can we, if we don't go through childhood first? You can tell we're subhuman because we don't go through the universal experiences of Real People Life.

Go on a date. Okay. This one. This is the one where I get actively angry at the well-meaning, "inclusive" responses. "Just because an autistic person has high support needs and can't do XYZ doesn't mean --" no. Stop right there. There is no such thing as a disabled person who "can't" date. There is no impairment or disability that prevents someone from dating. There are people -- autistic and otherwise, disabled and otherwise -- who for whatever reason, choose not to pursue dating. Maybe they're aromantic, maybe they're loners, maybe they have religious objections, maybe dating just isn't something they're interested in. Fine. That's their choice. But there is no such thing as a disabled person who "can't" date. There is no such thing as a disability that renders people incapable of romantic relationships. There is no such fucking thing as being "too disabled" or "too severe" or "too profound" or "too high support needs" to have a romantic relationship if two or more people want one. That is not a thing that exists. That is a thing ableists made up. There is no such thing as an autistic person who "can't" go on a date. There are autistic people who aren't allowed to go on dates, because their family or caregivers control them, infantilize them, restrict their freedoms, or treat them as mindless blobs. But all disabled people (yes, all) can pursue romantic relationships. All disabled people (yes, all) deserve the human right to pursue romantic relationships if they choose to. With other disabled people. With abled people. With whomever. And yeah, dating doesn't necessarily have to be romantic or sexual, but let me be perfectly clear -- disabled people, autistic people, "high support needs" autistic people have a right to have sex, too. A multiply disabled autistic person who needs 24/7 assistance deserves the absolute, unreserved right to have wild, kinky, balls-to-the-wall, whole-chicken sex with the entire starting lineup of the Detroit Lions, if xe so chooses to, and if said Lions are on board. We should not accept the premise that there is any such thing as a disabled person who "can't" go on a date.

Use a toilet without assistance. This is the Kennedy playbook trump card, but unlike some of the other claims, this one is actually true. There's no such thing as a disabled person who "can't" date, but yes, there are in fact plenty of disabled people, including autistic people, who need help with using the toilet. So what's Kennedy going for here? He's trying to evoke two things: Disgust and infantilization. We have a visceral disgust around excretory functions. Needing to eliminate waste reminds us that we're animals made of meat, not the higher intellectual beings we pretend to be. Everyone poops. So we do it in private, we describe it with euphemisms, and if someone needs help with it, well, they're not keeping up their end of the social compact to collectively pretend we're not animals with animal bodily functions. So people who need assistance with the waste process are disgusting, subhuman, a violation of imagined purity. And of course, they're babies. Babies wear diapers. Babies need help using the toilet. So an older child or adult who needs diapers or toileting help is basically a big baby. We have entire election cycles centered on "Which candidate has incontinence issues?" as a proxy for "Which candidate is a big baby unfit to lead?" as though someone's bladder leakage has any bearing on their wisdom or policy positions. And of course, since people who need help with toileting Are Babies, we're meant to assume that they can't do any of those other things, either. They can't even use the toilet, let alone write poetry or go on a date. In reality, plenty of people who need toileting help are writing poetry and going on dates. One of the biggest misconceptions that holds disabled people back from education or, in some cases, from basic communication, is this myth of linear "developmental stages" -- that if someone isn't "smart enough" to master an "easier/earlier" skill, then they can't possibly be "smart enough" to master a completely unrelated skill that some abled person thinks of as "more advanced." This is literally the primary barrier to communication access for speech-disabled people, and the reason nonspeaking people who type to communicate are so often disbelieved -- if someone isn't "smart enough" to master a "baby skill" like talking, they can't possibly be "smart enough" to read and write! Nevermind that for many speech disabled people, reading and writing are much easier than speaking. And if someone isn't "smart enough" to use the toilet unassisted, they can't possibly learn any advanced topics at all, because they must the "mind of a baby." (The only people with the minds of babies are babies. A 50 year old with incontinence has the mind of a 50 year old.)

So. To sum up: Kennedy is intentionally evoking the concept of autistic people as The Abject Unthinking, and neither "Plenty of autistic people can do those things he says we can't do" nor "Disabled people deserve respect and dignity even if they can't do those things" fully addresses the dehumanization he's trying to conjure. Maybe I'm just jaded, too, about calls for "respect and dignity" for disabled people that don't challenge the concept of The Abject Unthinking. I see behavioral therapists, institution staff, and parents pursuing adult guardianship talking about "respect and dignity." I see articles about how to restrain and forcibly drug people with "respect and dignity." Ableists literally murder disabled people in cold blood in the name of "respect and dignity." I don't know what "respect and dignity" means to these people, but it's sure not synonymous with "bodily autonomy" or "civil rights." By this point, I consider "respect and dignity" about as meaningful as "thoughts and prayers." All disabled people can, and deserve the right to, express themselves. All disabled people can, and deserve the right to, make their own decisions about their own bodies. All disabled people can, and deserve the right to, participate in their communities. All disabled people can, and deserve the right to, pursue relationships with other people of their choice.

[lena-thinks-too-much]

It is so, so important to me that people understand that Tim didn't figure out the bats because Dick was a "Show off". Like yes, Dick Grayson is the most flamboyant, dramatic ass man you will ever meet.

But the quadruple somersault? There's no way that was because dick was just showing off. Because you're telling me Bruce Wayne, who's so committed to hiding his identity that he literally acts like a completely different person out of the mask in public just to ward suspicion, would miss the fact that Robin regularly uses the flying Grayson's trademark move? There's literally no way.

In the comics we see Tim explain his deductive process to Dick and Alfred and they're both surprised impressed whatever. We don't see him explain it to Bruce. I think Bruce would be surprised and shocked that a 9 year old was able to put the pieces together but I don't think he'd be surprised that the quadruple somersault gave it away.

So if Bruce was possibly aware of such an obvious give away, why let it continue?

I'll tell you why.

It really comes down to the physics

So Dick was 9 when he started out right? That means the most he'd have likely weighed was 43kgs or roughly 95lbs in freedom units.

But Dick and both of his parents are gymnasts who tend to be smaller. So he was likely less than that.

In physics, rotating objects build up angular momentum (this is how bikes stay up right for example). The more rotation, the more momentum. And objects with less mass build up that momentum much faster than those that are heavier.

Robin constantly has to fight people who are nearly 3 times his size. I teach 8 year olds, they're tiny. A quadruple somersault for a small boy that weighs less than a hundred pounds is a brutal weapon. Especially if you add in the acceleration from gravity as he drops in from above.

And I can guarantee you this logic tracks because Dick literally utilizes this idea, without the somersault, in the 2009 teen titans cartoon.

Yeah, that's right. We're talking about the infamous knee drop.

Like it is borderline savage. Add in a quadruple somersault and the resulting force is nearly fatal. It's likely the main reason Batman would ever allow him to do it with the cape on.

Also, Dick landing feet first on the penguin in the first image probably gave the guy severe back issues

[chocobje]

How I like to characterize Sprout is that he’s great talking with the ones he’s close with (Cosmo, Astro, etc.) But incredibly socially awkward with others. He comes off as brash, but he’s trying his best.

What guidelines do you try to follow when writing Sprout? I’m just curious.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to yap about one of my favourite characters hehe..

You asked for guidelines I gave you a character analysis instead.

(Don't mind the images I didn't want this post to look naked)

ALSO NOTE THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY THIS IS MERELY MY INTERPRETATION OF HIS CHARACTER. EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN!! Don't take my post as a mandatory guide to follow.

Let's talk about what's canon:

I like checking the Wikipedia for his dialogues every now and then to make sure he's not too out-of-character.

Sprout comes off as blunt, he does not sugarcoat his words when he has something to say.

Not even an excuse or a reason as to why he doesn't want to join Teagan for tea; It was straight up a "no" until Teagan told him Cosmo will join them too. (Also I want to point out he doesn't immediately say yes when he's told Cosmo will be there, so for all we know he'd still decline even if his best friend's joining Teagan).

Dandy's dialogue when you purchase Sprout. I think about it a lot. Out of all the character dialogues, the one with Astro is what I feel like is an example of his overprotectiveness coming across as "pushy".

He'd definitely be the type to scold his friends. Especially after Gardenview's shutdown with all the Twisteds wreaking havoc and whatnot. I don't think Sprout is fond of going on runs, but only does so he can watch over everyone and keep them safe. He makes sure everyone is focused and on high alert, he doesn't want anyone to be reckless.

He prioritizes safety over answers. His dialogue with Rodger shows that. Maybe he's also curious as to what has happened, because in Vee's dialogue he tried talking to Dandy only for Dandy to walk away. I assume Sprout just wanted to check up on him rather than knowing what's going on with Gardenview and the Twisteds.

Another thing I don't really see often is how Sprout is actually pretty forgetful and impulsive.

For a Toon who's constantly keeping watch on everyone he surely does not apply the same kind of attention to himself.

He talks before thinking about his words, but once he realized that he immediately apologized to Vee. I don't think he always notices when he comes across as rude though.

I actually think he's actually quite reckless when he bakes. I obviously can't show it in this post but if you look at that animation with Cosmo and Sprout baking they're not even measuring the ingredients. I mean what. 😭

The way he bakes feels so impulsive and it just looked like they were winging it. Somehow despite that their baked goods still end up great and that's honestly impressive.

Okay now for that dialogue between Bobette and Sprout, I was getting there-- I've never made a gingerbread house but from what I've seen from other people it requires a lot more patience and carefulness.

Sprout is neither.

According to him, his gingerbread house fell apart immediately and then he stopped trying afterwards. It's honestly funny.

I feel like this also shows through his stats. Both his extraction speed and skillcheck is 2 stars. His stamina and speed is way higher. He prefers running around, probably to make sure he can watch over everyone during their runs. That or because he has long legs.

Anyway to recap; Sprout in canon is blunt, pushy, overprotective, and impulsive. But he genuinely has good intentions and means well. He cares for his friends, which is why he scolds them because he wants to make sure they're safe.

Now for some headcanons:

Okay this is the part where I make stuff up. So it's just my take;

• He has ADHD.

I'M STARTING WITH THE NEURODIVERGENT HEADCANON.

This is not a unique headcanon. I've seen so many people who headcanons this too so it's relatively popular. Personally, I only see him with ADHD. (I'm projecting).

He's forgetful, impulsive, and quite socially awkward in a way aswell. He's easily distracted. He keeps forgetting about the oven. He's impulsive when baking. I'm a very impulsive and reckless person myself, I constantly make mistakes when I draw, yet somehow they end up okay 😭. When I'm not able to draw something right, I give up immediately. (I projected this onto the gingerbread house thing earlier).

• He comes across as intimidating.

You know in Kids' birthday parties when there's a mascot a lotta kids go run and hide? I based it off of that. I remember when I was like, 6 or 7, when a mascot came in I cried and hid under a table. They were tall.. <\3

I feel like there was a concerning number of kids who were actually afraid of him, despite how friendly he appears both in person and in the show. Maybe it's the RBF when he's not smiling..

I also like to think he's taller than some of the kids who comes to Gardenview which plays a factor to the whole "intimidating" thing. The way Sprout deals with this is giving the kids cupcakes or other sweets. Once the kids actually talk to him they're immediately comfortable.

• He was one of the very first to become "Twisted".

I don't have a concrete idea on how the story of the game goes, but I always imagine the Mains being the first victims. Sprout is a healer and he keeps an eye on everyone, so he had to go first.

–

Okay, I think that's all now. If you read all of that wow thanks, this took me hours to write 😭. I love overanalysing characters.

[harunayuuka2060]

MC: ...

MC: So you're the reason why it's noisy outside.

Vil: Is there a problem? *raised an eyebrow*

MC: I'm just saying it's rare for you to visit. Anyway, what kind of inconvenience do you want me to handle for you today?

Vil: Are you not going to invite me in?

MC: *opens the door wide*

Vil: ...

Vil: Thank you.

MC: What's the problem this time?

Vil: It's not mine, but my dad's. There are a few people who want to ruin his reputation. What's worse, they're new to the industry and have managed to maintain an innocent public image.

MC: That sucks.

Vil: So, are you going to take the case?

MC: Yeah, sure. I've got nothing scheduled anyway.

Vil: *chuckles* Oh?

MC: What?

Vil: I see you're not that busy with your new relationship.

MC: New relationship? Ah, you mean with me and Ace. No, we're not together.

Vil: That's not what Rook said.

MC: You know me. I don't give labels unless both parties agree on it.

Vil: Yes, you do. *smirks* But if Potato 1 doesn't, we can resume the one we ended.

MC: You bully of a senior.

MC: Ace, stop hiding behind the door.

Ace: ...

Ace: I just got here.

Vil: We could see your shoes through the gap under the door.

Ace: Tch. I didn't know you two used to be in a relationship.

MC: He was bored at that time.

Vil: *chuckles* Even so, it was a great experience.

Ace: ...

Ace: ...

Ace: Vil was a good catch.

MC: What's he? A fish?

Ace: ...

Ace: I couldn't imagine you being in a relationship. Especially with Vil.

MC: Oh, yeah? Because you imagine that it's with you?

Ace: *frowns* You're so presumptuous.

MC: Am I? Bet if I kissed you right now, you'd just melt into a puddle.

Ace: ...

MC: ...

Ace: That's... no... Not possible.

MC: Coward. *turns and walks away*

Ace: H-Hey! Where are you going?!

[kkuzushi]

hey! could you write genshin kinich + anemo boys when you go through their phone without them knowing because you think they're cheating/just wanted to check if theyre loyal but you end up finding nothing and they catch you? thank u eheheh

Anemo boys + Kinich catching you with their phone.ᐟ

⠀✦ cw : established relationship, fluff, hurt/comfort, self decapration, phone contents, genderneutral!reader, partially canon compliant – 3.7k words

⠀✦ additional notes : I’m not very familiar with Kinich yet but I did my best to portray him accurately! Reader is also seen as Lumine/Aether. Please don’t mind the timestamps as well. <3

. 𐙚 . ˙ 𖧧 ₊ ˚HEIZOUᝰ.ᐟ

Ah yes, your ever loving, doting boyfriend. Heizou is known for his natural charms and affectionate words—it’s one of the reasons why you fell for him in the first place. While the two of you have set boundaries, you often wonder if his romantic side is only seen by you. Swayed by temptation and curiosity, you decide to snoop through his phone while he’s in his study. Surely that’s enough for you to find something, right?

Which is what you’d hope for—or dread for—however, as you open Heizou’s phone, you’re met with a candid picture he personally took. You told him countless times to delete it yet he never and even made it as his lockscreen wallpaper.

That should’ve been enough proof that this man is loyal, but who knows what else he could be hiding behind that lockscreen? You unlocked his phone, his homescreen wallpaper is still you but a different type of photo. This time, the scenery was also part of the image with your back turned towards the camera.

Going back on track, you start to tweak around his phone, looking to see if there’s anything off or suspicious.

After checking multiple apps—even a bit of his search history—you found absolutely nothing. You sighed in relief, but that relief was short-lived once you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“What do we have here?” Heizou hummed, peeking over your shoulder, causing you to jump and turn to face him. “Seems like I caught a thief red-handed.”

You chuckled nervously, quickly putting his phone down on the bed. “Heizou! How long have you been there?” You asked, attempting to pry away from your predicament.

Heizou grinned, crossing his arms on his chest as he leans closer to you, “Only the detective will ask questions, unless.. you want to do this the hard way?” His eyes glinted with mischief, hands preparing to tickle you before he tackled you down on the bed.

The two of you rolled around in the mattress—you trying to get away while Heizou just keeps pulling you back closer to him. Your laughter dies down to pants eventually once Heizou stops.

“Now, care to explain why you were snooping through my phone?” Heizou asks, his arms wrapped around your waist as your back is pressed against his chest.

“I just.. wanted to see if you’ve been doing things..” You answer vaguely, embarrassment creeping up on you after being caught just like that.

To that, Heizou raises an eyebrow. “Things? I do a lot of things—investigating around Inazuma, doing commissions with people, and most especially loving you.” His response was filled with lighthearted jokes yet you can sense the reassurance he’s hinting at.

You smiled, turning around to face him, you pulled him to an embrace. “I’m sorry. I trust you, Hei. I just let my curiosity get the best of me.”

He reciprocates the hug, your head resting on the crook of his neck, “No, I’m sorry. I don’t want you overthinking because of my actions, sweetheart.” He says softly, his fingers carding through your hair. “Next time, please tell me when something’s troubling you.”

You nod as you leaned to his touch, the warmth of his affections already making you forget what just transpired.

“You’re not off the hook though,” He pulls away slightly to take a look at your face. “I sentence you to a full day cuddle.. and I’ll let you look through my phone more.”

. 𐙚 . ˙ 𖧧 ₊ ˚KAZUHAᝰ.ᐟ

What’s there to doubt about this man? Even if you dissect him, you won’t even find a single flaw. It’s like the archons used their entire blessings to create the perfect being, and your luck must be out of this world to be his significant other.

But maybe that’s why you’re having doubts. He’s too good for you, at least that’s what your mind is telling you. The fear that Kazuha might find someone better.. it’s not an uncommon thought that lingers in your mind. Now that you’re alone, your eyes are glued to Kazuha’s phone. It’s just laying on the nightstand, calling your name.

Just five minutes—that’s all you need, after that, you’ll stop this nonsense and never look through his phone again. You’ve convinced yourself enough and finally took his phone.

The first you notice is the matching wallpapers you two have set—you holding your phone taking a photo of him, and the other point of view would be your lockscreen. Not only that, but his password is your full birthday. That should’ve been enough for you to put the phone down and join your boyfriend outside, yet you didn’t.

To no avail, you found nothing to support your distressful thoughts. Guilt washes your mind after seeing the contents of Kazuha’s phone. But hey, at least you were no longer overthinking—isn’t that a good thing?

Not really, especially not when Kazuha stood by the doorway, catching you in the act before you could put away his phone. The two of you locked eyes for moment until you looked away as he approached you.

“Dearest, what are you doing with my phone?” Kazuha says in a gentle manner as he sat down on the bed beside you. You don’t answer, afraid of what he’ll think once he found out about the truth.

Suddenly, you feel his hand on top of yours. “It’s okay, you can tell me,” He coaxed, voice as gentle as his touch. You sigh, meeting his gaze once more as you prepare to explain yourself.

“I’ve been scared lately,” You prompt, the words feeling much harder to let out than it’s supposed to be. “Scared that you’ll see me the way I see myself—that I’m not enough for you.” Tears start to prick out in the corner of your eyes but you blink it away as a lump forms in your throat.

Kazuha takes your hand, your fingers intertwining together like it was made for each other. “You’ve never been anything less than enough,” he says firmly before pausing, choosing his next words carefully. “You may not see it, but to me, you are the anchor that keeps me steady amidst the tides. I’ve written countless poems trying to capture your beauty, your kindness, your strength—but none of them do you justice.”

His free hand comes up to your cheek, wiping the tears that you didn’t realize began to fall. “Please don’t carry these doubts alone. I’m here, for everything—your fears, your insecurities, and all the things you think makes you unlovable,” He murmured, pulling you closer until your foreheads are pressed against each other.

You nod, closing your eyes to let the tears fall down on its own. “Okay. I’m sorry for doubting you,” You breathed, the heavy feelings in your chest finally wearing off after a long time of carrying them.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Kazuha smiles, his thumb caressing your cheek. “But if you ever feel this way again, talk to me. Trust me to help shoulder these fears next time.”

. 𐙚 . ˙ 𖧧 ₊ ˚KINICHᝰ.ᐟ

Having a romantic relationship with Kinich isn’t what most people would think. It might seem like you’d spend your days chasing after him, waiting endlessly for scraps of attention while he remained cool and aloof. Many would assume he’s the type to keep you at arm’s length, making you endure his detached demeanor and patient silences as though his affection was a prize to be earned.

Well, it’s actually quite the opposite. Kinich values your time as much as he values his own, which is why he makes sure to finish the job quickly and efficiently to spend quality time with you. He’s the one quietly chasing after time itself, ensuring there’s always enough of it for you. Kinich treats you in a way that people would describe as “prince/princess treatment.” You are his top priority and he isn’t afraid to show it, not that other people’s opinion matters to him anyway.

While there’s no actual downside to being in a relationship with Kinich, the only thing that stirs unease is his job—or rather, the people he encounters because of it. As his work often brings contact with others, it’s hard not to let your thoughts wander. Kinich may show unwavering loyalty but you know how people are; they’re unpredictable. You can’t always know their intention thus, allowing your insecurities to take hold of your rationality.

As he excuses himself for the day, your gaze drops to his phone, left forgotten by the counter. Your rationality starts disappearing—one quick look wouldn’t hurt, right? Just to soothe your worries, and it’s not like he’ll find out.

Before you could second guess yourself any longer, you reached for his phone and unlocked it. Kinich’s phone requires a fingerprint to open but he has yours registered as well, so surely there wouldn’t be anything bad in there?

Just as you hoped for, you found nothing to support your earlier worries. However, it seems like you’ve used up all your luck as you hear the sound of footsteps approaching. Kinich had spotted you right before you could put his phone back to its original place and pretend nothing had ever happened. Your eyes widened and scrambled to put the phone away as your boyfriend stepped closer.

“What were you doing with my phone, sol?” Kinich asks, putting one hand on the counter as if to corner you. You looked away, contemplating whether to deny any accusation or just simply tell the truth. His finger taps on the surface rhythmically as if he’s counting each second your silence lasts, you can feel his eyes glued to your face even when you’re looking away.

Mustering up the confidence, you finally turn to him, “Okay. Look, I just wanted to look through your phone because.. I’ve been overthinking lately. When I saw your phone I was really, really tempted to look through it.” Your words hung heavy in the air, Kinich studying your expression after your answer.

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

“No! I mean, no.. I didn’t find anything..”

Kinich pulled you by the waist, the sudden action catching you off guard once the distance decreased between the two of you. “Exactly, there was nothing to find in the first place,” he spoke calmly, his eyes holding steady contact with yours.

“I don’t want to give you any reason to doubt me,” Kinich continues, the reassurance rolling off his tongue like he knows exactly just what to say. “But I’d rather you tell me what’s bothering you than act on it like this.”

The man has a point, if snooping through his stuff becomes a habit, it’ll influence you to never communicate with him properly. You sighed, realizing the flaws of your actions. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Kinich’s gaze softens as he gives you a reassuring smile, “I understand why you felt the need to do it—but please trust me.” He gives a chaste kiss to your forehead before muttering, “And I’ll make sure there’s never a reason for you to question it again.”

. 𐙚 . ˙ 𖧧 ₊ ˚VENTIᝰ.ᐟ

Venti has always been the playful lover throughout your entire relationship, it was never a big deal for you whenever he would go out and mess around with other people. Not even when he’s drinking, you almost found it adorable when he turns to a handful all because of his drunken haze. He made sure he kept that habit in moderation to avoid letting it get away in the relationship.

However, the mind is a stubborn place. As months passed by, you grew afraid of what might transpire when Venti’s not in the right state. You know what they say, drunk words are sober thoughts—maybe you just haven’t heard it because he’s said it to someone else. You fought and fought these thoughts until you found yourself with your lover’s phone in hand, because who knows? Maybe he’s already drunk texted someone while you’re unaware.

The thought is temporarily dispersed once you see yourself in his wallpaper—a picture of you, deep asleep in your shared bed. You smiled, but you can’t let a simple picture like that distract you. As you swipe through his phone, a passcode blocks you. Quickly, you attempted whichever comes to mind—his birthday, your birthday, yet none of it worked. But you know what did? The date of your anniversary.

Maybe this was a bad idea, but the phone’s unlocked now, so might as well carry on.

In all honesty, you felt like you got played in the most unexpected ways. His phone was full of ridiculous information that had no connection to your previous motiv. At least your curiosity was satiated.

“What you got there?” Venti beamed beside you, his voice startling you. Where did he come from?! Actually, how did you not even hear this man come into your room? Nevermind that, you’ve been caught red handed, his phone still clutched to your hand—even harder now that you almost let go of it from the fright.

“Venti! What are you– nevermind, I’m not even gonna ask,” You surrendered just as immediately, giving back his phone. Your face flushed from embarrassment, your boyfriend having the instincts of a cat despite being allergic to them.

Venti chuckled but pushed his phone to you. “You know, if you wanted to look, you could’ve just asked,” He says, wrapping his arms around your neck pulling you close until his head is leaning on your shoulder. “I have nothing to hide from you, windblume,” he whispers.

Your gaze softens from the unasked reassurance—the fact he can play around and set your mind at ease makes you remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. “I know that now. I’m sorry, dear,” you gently pulled him closer until the two of you were flushed against each other.

“What’s on your mind?” He asks, but honestly? You almost forgot about it all because of the contact. Still, you know Venti would just bug the hell out of you if you try to brush this off.

“Let’s talk about it later, I just wanna cuddle for now.”

“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here to listen.”

. 𐙚 . ˙ 𖧧 ₊ ˚XIAOᝰ.ᐟ

During your anniversary, you gave Xiao a present—a phone, something he deemed useless but accepted either way. You didn’t mind at first, knowing it’ll take time for him to adjust with the advanced cellular device. It almost became a habit for you to daydream about the texts you’d someday receive from him—the constant typos, accidental calls, blurred images. Even if Xiao wasn’t one to talk so much, you know his inexperience with technology would give a good laugh.

Those wishful thoughts only lasted for a while, of course. Every once in a while, you’d see Xiao fumbling with the phone you’ve given him. You thought that maybe this is it, you’ll finally receive a few texts from him—but you never did. Your worries increased when your boyfriend’s attention was almost glued to the device. If he wasn’t using it to text you or maybe even show you what he learned, what else could he be doing?

There’s one thing you’ve noticed though. Xiao never brings his phone whenever he’s doing his duties. It occured to you that this may be an opportunity to sneak a glance and find out what he’s been up to with his phone.

Once you’ve gotten your hands on his cellular device, you went straight ahead with unlocking it—only thing is there’s no lock. You almost forgot Xiao isn’t that well versed with the mechanics of his phone, still, with the amount of time he’s usually focused with it? You’d think he already figured that out. Nonetheless, at least you don’t have to think of whatever passcode he might’ve come up with.

As you’ve opened his phone, you’re met with something shocking. His wallpaper is your picture. Are you actually seeing this correctly? How did he even get a hold of that? But then again, it doesn’t even look like you were aware that you were getting your picture taken that time. Xiao must’ve gotten this himself personally.

You almost went crazy with how little stuff there is to find in Xiao’s phone, except his photos. That was probably the only productive app in his phone, but other than that, absolutely nothing.

As you’re about to end your search for whatever you’re looking for, you noticed a figure standing in front of you just right behind the phone you’re holding. Looking up, you see Xiao.

“Oh my god!” You yelped, leaning back on the seat as Xiao’s appearance startled the hell out of you. “What were you doing just standing there?” You sighed exasperatedly, calming down the fast beating of your heart.

“You seemed engrossed with my device,” he says plainly though his eyes sparked curiousity. “Why do you have it?”

“I was checking something..” You mumbled, giving it back to him reluctantly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have taken it without your permission.”

Xiao took the phone from you and paused. “Checking what exactly?” He turned off the device and sat beside you. He studied your expression—the way your eyes looked away, how you’d bite your bottom lip from nervousness.

“Were you thinking I’m being disloyal?” His question was so blunt, it felt like a punch. How could you even answer that? You didn’t even need to tell him anything yet he already knew.

“No, no! Not at all!” You quickly scrambled, not wanting him to think of the wrong thing. The wrong thing? Even you don’t know what that is now. “I was just.. conflicted. You never focused too much on your phone, so when I saw that, I felt.. bothered.”

Xiao visibly frowned at that, his eyes softening at your explanation, “You should’ve told me. Share your troubles with me, let me help you ease your mind.”

He gently took your hands in his, intertwining your fingers together. His eyes met yours, a rare warmth softening his typically stoic expression, melting away the worries that had been building in your chest. “And to tell you the truth…” he started, his voice quieter now, almost shy, “I’ve only been focusing on that device because I wanted to learn more about it.”

That much was obvious now, considering his wallpaper was a candid photo of you that you didn’t even know existed. “I’m aware of that now… I’m sorry for invading your privacy, Xiao,” you said softly, guilt evident in your tone.

Xiao shook his head slightly. “I know why you did,” he replied. “But do ask next time.” A gentle smile appeared on his face. “I’ll let you have it anytime you want.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his response, the tension between you both easing. “I don’t think I will,” you teased lightly, “unless it’s to teach you more about it.”

. 𐙚 . ˙ 𖧧 ₊ ˚WANDERERᝰ.ᐟ

It was actually unexpected for you to see Wanderer using his own phone. He’d often say he isn’t interested in it but then see him playing random games you wouldn’t find entertaining—but to each themselves, right?

That’s where the problem starts; the fact that Wanderer is pretty secretive with his own device causes you to rouse up different possibilities. Is he talking to someone else there? Maybe he got photos of other girls? Otherwise, why else would he deny you of taking a peek through his phone?

Since your stubborn resolve wouldn’t back down, you decided to take a quick detour around the few apps he has downloaded. However, Wanderer’s device required a face recognition to unlock. Being the genius that you are, you angled the phone to a picture you have of Wanderer.

It worked, obviously, not like that man changes his appearance everyday. Once the phone opened, a picture of you and Wanderer appeared, just the two of you goofing around. Maybe this is why he didn’t want you seeing his phone.

“Enjoying yourself there?” Wanderer’s voice rang out behind you, his voice laced with amusement. You couldn’t even celebrate after finding nothing, already caught by your boyfriend who’s leaning on the doorway with his arms crossed.

You turned around to meet him, imitating his pose. “You looked through every app, didn’t you?” He grinned, walking right up to you.

“Of course I looked,” you didn’t even deny it, you’re already caught in the act anyway. “You’re so secretive about your phone, it’s like a holy grail or something!” You rolled your eyes.

Wanderer hummed, amused at how you’re being truthful. “Did you find something scandalous then?” He teased, clearly just to get under your skin. “A hidden lover perhaps?”

You bit your lip, caught off guard. “I–well–no, not really,” you stammered, recalling the endless items that pointed to you. “But why hide all of that from me?”

He sighed and plucked the device from your hands. “I didn’t think it was worth mentioning. What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal?” you echoed, frowning as you crossed your arms. “You’ve been acting so secretive about it, how was I supposed to know it wasn’t something shady? You made it seem like you were hiding a dark secret or something.”

Wanderer tilted his head, his expression equal parts amused and exasperated. “A dark secret? You really thought I’d have the energy to maintain something like that?”

He looks at his phone for a moment then back to you. “I hope you enjoyed yourself, though—digging through my phone, desperately trying to find something worth fussing over,” he drawled, his lips curling into a smirk. “Only to realize it’s just you. Everywhere.”

You scoffed, your eyes narrowing down at his smug expression. “Well, maybe if you didn’t act so suspicious, I wouldn’t have felt the need to check.”

His smirk widened as he leaned back slightly, arms crossing over his chest. “But at least now you know what I’ve been ‘hiding.’ Satisfied?”

You rolled your eyes, but a small smile tugged at your lips. “For now. But next time, just let me look, okay?”

“Next time, try trusting me,” he shot back, though there was no bite to his words.

“Trust goes both ways, Wanderer,” you said, raising a brow.

“That’s ironic,” he conceded, shaking his head with a small laugh. “If you pull another stunt like this, I might increase the security of my phone.”

“Like that’d stop me,” you challenged with a grin.

© kkuzushi | Please do not translate, repost, or plagiarize my work. This work is posted in Tumblr only unless stated otherwise by yours truly.

[uncookedfeeler]

Citrus II🍋

Yuna x Male Reader

Tags : 7k, smut, incest, daddy kink,

Part 1

Five past eight in the morning, you arrive in front of your company, after having crossed a few blocks in the capital, at the automatic barrier, you wave to the guards to say hello and make your way to the underground car park, of course you have reserved your own space, not far from the lift, the privilege of having an important place in the company, you say to yourself; once the car has stopped, your bag in hand, you walk at a brisk pace to the lift and press the button for your floor.

Your impatience and shame are growing, you're late, which is far from your usual routine, especially when your president is probably waiting for you in your office. The reason for your lateness is even more shameful, but you're determined to put these thoughts aside during the working day.

Once you are on your floor, you pass through a second glass door, which you open with your badge. In the corner is the office of your secretary, who stands up to greet you and to warn you that the CEO is already in your office, just as you had expected.

"Hello Mrs Kang, and thank you, how long has he been here?"

"Not long, he arrived 5 minutes ago, he seems to be smiling, I think you'll be fine," she replies with a nervous smile, "would you like me to make some coffees and bring them to you?"

"No need, I'll do it myself, otherwise nothing else for the rest of the day? "

"There's a lot of paperwork to do today after the president leaves, your meetings don't start until this afternoon". You give her a thumbs up before putting your hands on the latch of your door. 

Your office was a modern space filled with clean lines and muted tones. A large executive desk dominated the room; behind it, tall windows filtered soft daylight through half-drawn blinds, while recessed lights softly illuminated the dark wood cabinets lining the back wall. In the corner, a pair of white armchairs and a sofa were accented by a single red cushion.

Across from you is your chairman, a middle-aged man with short grey hair and a warm smile. His face has visible wrinkles, particularly around the eyes, suggesting a friendly mood. He is wearing a formal dark suit and tie.

“I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr Ahn,” you say, bowing 90° to him.

"Ha ha, hello director, there's no need to be so formal, just get up and sit down,”he says, pointing with both hands to the seat in front of him. 

“Thank you, would you like a coffee while I'm up?”

“A short one then, my wife says I drink too much.”

You walk over to your desk and behind your chair is a piece of furniture that runs the full height of the wall, on top of which are various decorations, including your personal coffee machine.

“They all say that, but a good machine needs its fuel to work properly, doesn't it?”

“Absolutely.”

A few minutes pass as you place your respective coffees on the table between you, warning him that they are still very hot.

“I heard about the new contracts with JYP, good work Director Shin, I imagine it must have taken a lot of negotiation, they're notoriously difficult to do business with.”

“You could say that, it's not the first time they've worked with a cosmetics company like us, and it seems that their previous partnerships haven't been very successful, but with the work of the whole team, I think we've convinced them to count on us.”

“We still don't know the names of the models who will be wearing our products? if they match our latest collections well, I think it would be a great boost to our sales.”

“No information on that, the TWICE girls would be perfect, they embody the mid-twenties woman and seem to have finally lost their all-cute and pink ribbon image.”

As you finish your sentence, you see the chairman smiling after taking a sip of his coffee.

"Really good coffee, and why not ITZY, I'm sure they could certainly manage it too", the President smiles obviously as he mentions the group to which your daughter belongs.

"Yes, I'm sure", you reply with a touch of humour, the President knows very well who your daughter is and the joke shows how close you are to him.

"By the way, how is your daughter, she's appearing all over the country, she really seems to be riding on her popularity, you must be very proud of her".

"Sure, I try to keep up with her, although it's not as easy as it sounds, I imagine she'd be surprised to model for our company, I doubt she knows where I work or my position," you say with regret in your voice.

"Raising a daughter is not easy, I'll give you that, my older daughter... "Before he can finish, your phone rings to tell you that you've received a message with an attachment.

"When we were talking about the wolf, she sent me a message, sorry, go on, sir," you say, trying to get the conversation going again.

"Take your time, it's important to maintain a relationship with your children, especially when they've left home," he replies, leaning back on the sofa to take a step back.

After unlocking your phone, you click on the notification to open Yuna's message, which contains a link to a video and the message "how to grow my lemons", the link takes you to the streaming site Yuna uses and a replay starts :

"I've talked about this before, but the other day I took two lemons home to my parents that I've been growing for a long time, I'm not very good at it, so I asked my dad for help, he worked hard on them yesterday, you should have seen him, he played with them first and then he watered them generously, I think he's learning as much as I am, so I looked up on the internet how to grow them properly:

- First you need to stir the soil well with your fingers or a tool, then you need to push the seeds in deeply until they reach the end, then you need to water the soil regularly with love to increase the chances of getting a big lemon.

My two lemons have already grown well, so I'm wondering if I shouldn't put in a new seed to make a third, much bigger than the others," she said as she finished her explanation, stroking her stomach several times each time the word seed was mentioned.

Your promise to keep your impure thoughts out of your workplace, but Yuna's provocation, so innocent at first, is dangerously immoral and exciting in the right context.

"Your daughter seems to have found a passion for gardening, which is rare for young people who have only known the capital and its huge buildings," the President replies in an amused tone. 

"However, I wonder if young women have an attraction for fruity things, it brings a sweet and innocent side while retaining the exotic taste of a sweet and strong flavour, should we explore this avenue for our products?" he asked, he's the President after all, so business comes first for him. 

"It's hard to say, I know she had a shoot with different fruits as a concept, she doesn't quite fit the image of a young teenager, but an entry-level range for young girls with products that are easy to apply and discreet or even fragrant could be a target".

Another message appears on your screen with only the text ‘Now you know how to do it 💦🍋’.

The shock is quite brutal, you would never have imagined that your daughter would be so direct with you on this subject, after all you only really resumed your father-daughter relationship yesterday, the difference in personality between the nice, almost innocent girl you had yesterday and this morning and now, where she doesn't hesitate to tease you in public or by text message, a part of you hopes that she is just doing it for fun and not to satisfy you for fear of being abandoned again.

At no point do you want to force her down a path that won't make her happy, you've already thrown away your morals for her, now her happiness is your only concern, her wishes are your orders and pleasing your princess remains your goal in life.

You thank her for the guide and send her a sticker of a cat blowing kisses, followed by an 'I love you'. You put your phone back in your pocket to resume your conversation with your CEO as the clock ticks.

.

"I think we're done, I've really enjoyed this chat, I knew I could count on you to come up with new ideas, would you like to join the monthly review of their project, let's bring them the seed of your future fruity project," as the President stands up and walks towards the door.

"Sure, I'm following you"

.

.

.

The meeting has seemed endless, the chair and the others have taken it in turns to stimulate the discussion with their ideas, and what was supposed to be a simple project review has turned into a kick-off meeting for your project. It's past lunchtime and you've just returned to your office, completely drained of energy and with an appetite that's starting to grow. However, your position in the company means that with a simple phone call you can have a member of the kitchen staff come to your floor with your food.

"Knock, knock" 

"You can come in"

"Morning, Director Shin, here's your lunch," says an athletic-looking young man as he places it on your desk.

"Sorry for the inconvenience, I've had a busy morning and my legs need a rest," you say in a moment of weakness.

"No, no, no problem, sir, I'll come back for the tray later, enjoy your meal". The young man leaves your office in a hurry.

As you pounced on your meal like a hungry hyena, this break being one of the rare moments when you let your invasive curiosity take over, you grabbed the mouse of your computer to open the search browser and typed in the name of your company as well as your first name, you had this strong feeling that you knew what was being said about you or your company, public opinion is important and you were also worried about letting your bad reputation tarnish that of your daughter in case of problems at work.

And although you didn't show her much, it was also your ritual to follow your daughter's career. All these years you have been following her journey as an adult in the industry, and it fills you with pride that today your daughter's name still appears at the top of the search rankings.

Her latest Instagram post seems to have set the internet on fire, as you click on the top trending link to see a series of photos of her in the bathroom of your house, her hair flaming red, her make-up perfectly applied to her face and her brown eyes piercing through the mirror. She's wearing a lovely black and white tank top and I'm sure you'll agree that she looks absolutely fucking gorgeous in these photos, the comments are flooding in with praise for her look, despite the occasional haters, but nothing new.

You quickly take out your phone to leave a message for your princess: 

"I've just seen your photos, you're as beautiful as ever," while attaching a photo of the article you took with your phone. Once you've sent the message, you go back to your meal and your thoughts take over, you realise that this kind of little intention would have started from the beginning of her career, the simple fact of exchanging with your child and the feeling that comes from it soothes your heart and too bad if you become a clingy dad, you're going to tell her every day.

You're suddenly brought back to reality when your phone displays a notification saying that she's replied to you with a simple :

"Hihi thank you 😛, look at my little present", while a second message appears with a still blurred image, followed by a third in the conversation, Yuna had sent it as sensitive content, so you have to click on it to view it, and you're far from imagining what's revealed before your eyes: the last message served as a description with the words:  

"it was just after the shower when i was getting ready to go to the company, my little lemons have turned into cherries, all i need now is your big seed 🍒" the photo is taken from a higher angle where your daughter lifts her top to reveal her small breasts and the many hickey marks still present on her body, Her left breast and nipple are well marked by your mouth, not forgetting that she's not wearing anything, and you can see her little bush underneath, with a comment at the bottom: "To 🍼 my 🧔🏻, He must 🍼 my 😻 first".

At that moment, your cock springs to attention in a flash, it shoots up through your trousers and slams against your belly, any man knows that pain and it's far from pleasant, you loosen your belt to give your raging member a little slack, this little minx knew what to do to excite someone and the hours were going to be long from now on.

The rest of the day goes by slowly, you don't dare take out your phone for fear of getting into an embarrassing situation, you still feel some vibrations in the afternoon, but like a good professional you don't even look, the hours go by until the beginning of the evening, you leave your office and go to the underground car park, you make the effort to look at your phone and all you get are trivial messages, You're a little disappointed because you were secretly hoping for more messages from Yuna, halfway there you find yourself stuck in traffic on the road and you decide to call Yuna to find out how her day went, she answers almost immediately but doesn't answer your question, but you can hear the girls chatting as if she had picked up the phone and put it on a table.

You wonder what kind of phone she uses to get such good quality, the girls' voices are easily recognisable and the sound is as if you were in the room with them.

Yeji: "Ugh, yesterday's shoot was so chaotic! I swear we almost lost our minds trying to get the perfect angle".

Lia: "I know, right? I thought we were going to end up on a blooper reels. Remember when we all turned the wrong way during that one scene?

Ryujin: "Yeah, and Yuna was the only one who actually turned the right way! I guess she has an 'inner compass' or something..."

Yuna: "Hey! I just knew what to do! Plus you stole my concept, remember!"

Yeji: "I mean, you didn't mind talking about it online, you even mentioned your dad again, you're such a daddy girl after all"

Yuna: "Not you too! Can we please not talk about my 'daddy issues' again?"

Chaeryeong: "We can't help it! It's just so weird how you don't even look at all the sexy boys around us, I wonder what you do with all those pictures of him you snatch from the internet".

Lia: “'Even though we know what she's doing, she's acting cold towards him, but in the end it makes you hot, doesn't it? you should at least try dating someone, we've all done it so far and it's like, we're not asking you to sleep with them, just get some dating experience”

Chaeryeong: “Easy Lia-unnie, you're the one taking selfies with your exes' dicks in your mouth aren't you? they never fucked you anyway so keep your advice to yourself”

Chaeryeong:“Yuna, listen, we're not forcing you to do anything, but try to use your youth to meet people, it's weird to see you alone at home all the time.”

Yuna: “Unnie, that's not the problem, I'm just afraid of being rejected and I don't know how to tell him how I feel about him, we haven't been very close since mum left”.

Ryujin: “He's your dad Yuna, of course you love him in your own way, let's just say, just tell him and you'll be free of this burden, then we can go and pick up some hot guys backstage”.

Yeji: “I don't think she likes you getting fucked in the toilets when the newbies show up, same goes for you Chaeryoung, no one's putting any pressure on Yuna, right?”

Lia: “Easy for you to say when you're being fucked by your childhood sweetheart, we're not so lucky to have someone who loves us for something other than our bodies”.

Yuna: "It hurts, doesn't it? Aren't you afraid of getting pregnant?"

Ryujin: "'Are you kidding? Wait, you've never...? not even with the toys you hide in the box under your bed?"

Yuna: ”'OF COURSE NOT".

Yeji: "Stop laughing you bitches, Yuna this ain't that serious, yes it can hurt, you have to be prepared downstairs and remember we take all the pills the company gives us and don't forget we always use condoms, DON'T GIRLS?"

Ryujin: "Don't give us shit about it, they shove it up my arse anyway, you think I'm going to let those sons of bitches touch my pussy? a good load on the face, that's what it's all about'."

Lia: "Same thing, they can fill my arse but my pussy is off limits, I love to smash their cocks and make them scream in pain when they try to pull out'."

Chaeryeong: "Fucking listen to these bitches, apart from sucking cocks when I want to, I only fuck other girls, no risk on my side."

Yeji: "See, we're all careful, protect yourself well and don't forget your pills, they help with your periods too'."

Yuna: “I'm out of pills and I don't have a condom, but it's not like I need one, is it?!!, I'm going home tonight, don't wait for me”.

Ryujin: “Don't take it like that baby, I can give you some if you want”.

Yeji: “Yuna, come back!!! “.

You hear the loud thud of a door slamming and limbs flailing as Yuna leaves.

Yeji: “ 'Well done girls, that was clearly a good time to bring her down and make fun of her and her problems”

Lia: "Sorry unnie, we didn't think she'd take it like that, I'll go and get her'.”

Ryujin: “Stay here, you're making it worse.”

Lia: “Bloody hell, how can someone like that be so ignorant of her own sexuality, do you think she likes girls instead?”

Chaeryeong: “She's got a crush on her dad, are you stupid or what, we don't say anything to avoid the subject, she's just wanted to fuck her dad for a long time, she's got photos of him on her phone, on her wallpaper, a photo of him under her pillow, the poor thing is in desperate need of fatherly love”

Yeji: “ I don't know what happened last night, but since then she's been really nervous about it, let's leave her alone, otherwise she'll go crazy and we don't know what she'll do”.

Yeji: "We'll see about that later, it's almost time. Get ready and I'll go to her, you three go with the managers. We'll go back to the company, Chaery, get her bag and phone. She left it on the table."

Calm returned to the room and before you lost the connection to your daughter's phone, you heard

"Looks like you've got work to do Daddy Shin, sorry for the trouble" and she hangs up.

This is a lot to take in, and apart from the sexual debates between the 4 girls, which did not leave you without a reaction, the hardest thing is still Yuna's problems, which confirm your fears about her feelings, your daughter is not the provocative woman she pretends to be in the message, she is a young woman who still has a lot to learn about her own love and carnal feelings, knowing that your little girl is 'pure and innocent' would make any father smile, but on the other hand, what is the harm in learning about her sexuality? The trauma that has held her back, and for which you are probably responsible, is preventing her from moving forward in her life as a woman.

You'd been thinking all day about how to punish your daughter for her insolence, but the person you'd been talking to didn't exist. With Yuna's true feelings in mind, the next logical step seemed to be to wait for her at home and assume your role as father, as a princess deserves.

When you get home, you look at the clock and realise that she won't be home for another hour or two. That gives you plenty of time to tidy up, do your laundry and take a shower. You've picked up some bad habits living alone, but now that you're sharing your home with someone else, it's time to get the ball rolling again and restore the beauty of your property.

Time flies and you've barely had time to get out of the shower and into your new clothes when you hear the door latch click. You quickly step in front of it to see a redhead running towards you, dropping her bag in the doorway and giving you a big hug.

"Welcome home, darling," you say, stroking her head as you feel her face sink into your chest and a wet feeling hit your chest.

"I'm sorry daddy, I..."

"SHhh, it's all right, I'm here."

The situation is very different from yesterday, Yuna's shell seems to have burst the moment she saw you, you feel the warmth of her body against yours as her arms wrap around you, you say nothing, leaving one of your hands on her head and the other on her back.

"Dad, I... the message... it's not .... I wan...."

"Just breathe, I'm not angry, you know,"

"I just wanted to make you happy, I wanted to show you I'm a big girl, I'm so embarrassed now"

"You don't have to make me happy, it's my job to make YOU happy, and don't bother trying to act big, you're my little princess, that's all".

Just as she seems to have calmed down, you take her face in your hands to wipe away the last of her tears before placing a loving kiss on her forehead, "I love you," you say in a low voice as if to lull her to sleep, "I will never let you down, my only daughter.

Yuna is lulled by your words and you feel the weight of her body fall on your arms, "just rest on the sofa, I'll bring you a snack, you must be tired from your day's work", she accepts without flinching as you prepare something to eat while you wait for dinner, your daughter sits on the sofa, her head resting on a pillow, looking at you, when your eyes meet you exchange a smile without saying a word.

The evening passes smoothly, while your daughter rests and eats, you finally talk about your respective days, leaving your erotic exchanges out of the conversation, she finally gets to know your job, while you finally know what happens off camera, the night is felt and you suggest she take a shower while you prepare dinner, again she accepts without concern.

"Would you like to join me?" she asks shyly.

"Yuna, your legs are shaking, you don't have to push anything, I'm not going anywhere," you reply to her completely unexpected request.

She doesn't even answer and locks herself in the bathroom, slamming the door. You really can't understand what's going on in her head, but there's no time to lose, so you start preparing dinner.

Like last night, the meal is spent in church-like silence, each of us with our own thoughts. Yuna is completely withdrawn and doesn't even look at you, which is quite an awkward situation for you as she seems so close and then suddenly so far away.

You try to break this silence in the desert and ask her if she wants to watch a film, she takes a while to answer and then accepts, saying that she has to change first so that you can start getting everything ready while you wait for her, it's a good start and the film could give you a new topic of conversation to revive the dialogue between the two of you.

While she's still in her room, you call out to her to ask what film she's interested in. 

"Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken Please, Giselle-unnie told me it's good". 

You hear through the house, you recognise your daughter, who has always loved cartoons, once you've found them on Netflix, you adjust the brightness of the lights for a subdued effect, you've prepared a blanket and something to eat.

The minutes tick by and you wonder what Yuna is doing, you don't see much, it takes so long to get into pyjamas, but you tell yourself she's probably on her phone at the same time, which often doesn't help.

You hear her footsteps behind you and when she appears behind you, you see her wearing a simple pink t-shirt, you can easily guess that she's not wearing anything underneath as it hugs her breasts.

Suddenly she's straddling you, saying, "Forget the film, I want you, Daddy," as she pushes her body into yours and lies on top of you in a lotus position.

"Yuna, please, I," you don't finish your sentence as she slaps your face. 

"STOPPP REJECTING MEEEEEEEEEE' she screams at the top of her lungs as she bursts into tears over you, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, I....I....I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME' WH... WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME LIKE THIS?

Your daughter lashes out at you in shock at what's happening in front of you, you grab her arms and she becomes helpless under the difference in strength between the two of you. 

"Yun..." 

"I just want you..." she says, her face completely ravaged by tears, the face of someone who is deeply hurt and can't take it anymore.

Something breaks inside you, all this time you've assumed she would throw herself at you, just to be like the others, just to receive the love you would have given her anyway, you've hurt her again and again until you made the same mistake you made with your wife.

Your daughter loves you more than anything and you are too blind to see that she doesn't know how else to show it, but this time you will make it right and give yourself to her.

Without further ado, you threw your lips over hers, releasing her wrists from your grip and sliding your hands from her lower abdomen to her breasts hidden under her t-shirt.

"No bra, you little rascal?"

Instinctively she puts her hands on your shoulders and fights your tongue with hers, you attack her nipples with your hand and they are already hard, the attack on her breasts causes Yuna to moan which is absorbed by your kiss, you go down her neck to place your marks while she can finally listen to her pleasure.

"Daddy, your cock, give it to me" she says as she plunges her hand into your shorts and meets your cock through the underpants, you lift her up with the strength of your legs and come to remove your underwear in one go, your cock is now naked between your daughter's thighs and she puts her hands on it.

"Put some saliva before baby," she listens to you religiously, but instead comes and gets the saliva overflowing from her pussy and applies it to your cock.

"Let me use my juices before you use yours," she says as she works your cock up and down, your shaft growing under Yuna's movements and the pleasure is truly enjoyable.

One of your hands digs into her soaking wet panties and you massage her slit with your fingers, your moaning cries joining in as you pleasure each other.

Quickly she gets up from the sofa to kneel in front of you and she begins to lick your cock with delicacy, her tongue starts at the glans and she places kisses on it, then her tongue and lips come together so that she tries to suck your sperm, her lips then go gently down the length of your cock and your cock goes slowly down her throat.

"Yuna, that's good, you're doing great," you say as you put both hands on her head to guide her, you watch as your cock disappears into her mouth as the sensations of her work send shivers down your back, from time to time she pulls out to spit on your shaft before sliding back in,

Yuna learns as she goes and her technique is perfected with each dive, after a while your breaking point comes and you refuse to finish here so you help her pull out and try to save your orgasm for later, her mouth overflowing with saliva and she looks at you with appetite.

"Sorry baby but it's my time to eat you now" you tell her as you take her in your arms and go into your bedroom where you lay her on her back on the edge of the bed, without further ado she attacks her pussy with your mouth and she presses her thighs against your head, Your tongue immediately attacks her slit, which rushes to secrete its juices, which you suck up as you go, her clit is quickly attacked by one of your hands, which takes great care to titillate the little bean, with delicacy you move up and down her slit, from time to time penetrating her entrance with your tongue to prepare the work,

The poor red girl cries out with pleasure as she experiences being devoured by her lover for the first time, she clings to your hair which she pulls when the pleasure is too great, on your side you shift into second gear and penetrate your daughter's pussy with two fingers, you feel like you're piercing a flan because the inside is so soft.

“Daddy don't stop, it's coming” your daughter cries out as she feels your third finger deep inside her, your mouth has turned into a wet wiping system as her pussy floods your mouth, you keep up the rhythm until you feel your daughter leave and in a flash her body goes rigid and her pelvis convulses under the power of the orgasm.

You lift your head and climb onto the bed to kiss your princess with a little “I love you” in her ears, 

"Daddy, I want you,” she says, stretching out her arms to ask you to come inside her, “it's time to put that seed inside me,” as she spreads her pussy in front of you.

Worried, you reach over to your bedside table for a condom, but Yuna stops you.

“It's ok daddy, I'm on the pill and it's a safe day, you can pour everything into my secret garden", Yuna's naughty language excites you immensely and your cock hurts so you give in and come to lie on her entrance and gently tap your cock to soak it in her juices, 

You sink gently and anxiously into your own daughter, resting your elbows on the mattress so that you can kiss her as you move inside her, every inch of her is painful and she lets you feel it as she scratches your back with her fingernails, you kiss her tenderly as your hips move up to touch her pussy, 

Your cock feels the tightness of her vagina as well as the warmth and moisture from your excellent preparation work, the passage through her pussy is made without too much effort and you slide deep inside her like butter, on the other side Yuna seems to take your big cock like a champion and despite the pain she has already wrapped her legs around your waist.

You feel her warm, rapid breathing on your face as you look into her eyes, just inches apart.

"Daddy, I can feel you inside me, my little pussy just ate your big dick."

"Are you alright baby, I won't move until you're ready".

"I want to sit like on the sofa".

You obeyed her orders and gently lifted her up without pulling back to let her sit on you, you put yourself on her buttocks and she was now resting all her weight on you, the change of position made your cock dig even deeper inside her and she felt it well. 

"Don't move, I want to stay connected to you like this," as she strokes her stomach trying to feel your cock, "keep eating my tits, please.

Just as your cock seems to have bottomed out, you turn your attention to her pair of little red lemons, You really loved her tits, they are not as big as some but in your eyes they are perfect, the texture of them, the feel of them in your hands and the way Yuna reacts every time you nibble on her nipples.

You decide to kiss your daughter and whisper "Shall we?" to which she only nods, you begin to rock your hips as your cock slowly emerges from her pussy and then slowly returns, never fully exiting, you carve your daughter's walls with your cock and Yuna moans with pleasure at the work of your rod.

“♥Hmm....♥Ah....♥Hmm, ah....♥ Daddy, your cock is turning me inside out, every time you push in it feels weird down there, it's a bit painful but also extremely pleasurable, I can feel your big cock pushing my sides apart and knocking on my garden gate, keep it up, I want to feel your cock ravaging me".

You pick up the pace at your partner's request, your cock seems to have done its job well as you are able to withdraw completely before impaling her again with no problem, under the force of your hips Yuna lays her head on your neck and sucks you like a baby, you let go of her breasts to lock your hold on her by circling her waist with your arms, once firmly in place you pound her with all your strength. 

“♥Ah....”

“♥Ah.... DADDY”

“♥Ah....

♥Ah.... DA”

For long minutes, you hold her close as your cock slams violently into her pussy. The pleasure comes from the fact that Yuna has her head back, unable to form a sentence. Pleasure has taken over her body. You feel your orgasm building slowly. While your daughter is already on the verge of hers, you feel her legs squeeze you hard as she explodes on your cock and her fluids flow down it. Yet you don't stop your thrusts.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Stop it"' At her command you stop and discover your daughter's face completely undressed, her hair sticking to her sweaty face and you push aside the lips that hide her eyes to kiss her.

"Let me do it now" she asks as she moves her hips on her own to embrace your sensitive cock, her movements are fast, her pussy devouring you at its own pace and you put your hands on both her buttocks to support her, you give little slaps to her delicate skin and as she fucks herself on her father's cock you feel your orgasm coming and you warn her.

"Yuna, I'm coming"

She gives you the coup de grace when she puts all her weight on her descent and your stiff cock pierces all her pussy until your balls kiss her pussy, inside your cock floods her and for the first time in her life Yuna is at the door of motherhood, her pussy sucks your sperm with efficiency and you withdraw from her.

Yuna is still sitting on your lap, your breaths heavy, your bodies full of sweat and juice, and neither of you can stand the silence as Yuna's cum begins to flow.

"Ah baby, that was amazing. You were amazing!"

"Thanks daddy, do you want some more?"

"I'm sorry darling, I'm not young anymore, my penis is withered."

You can see the disappointment in Yuna's eyes. In your youth, a second round might have been possible, but now your libido is limited to your arousal, and after emptying yourself into her, you no longer feel anything on that level.

"Daddy... Are you going to leave me like this?" says Yuna as she gets down on all fours, points her bottom at you and spreads her pussy with your cum dripping from it.

The sight of your daughter in this position would have turned any man on. You feel like it, but your desire is gone for the moment. You see your daughter wiggling her bottom, begging you to fuck her, and you're powerless to stop her.

"Dad, I'm sorry... I lied, I haven't taken the pill yet, I want a second shot or I won't take it. The longer you wait the more your seeds will fertilise my garden, look how hungry my pussy is, come and make sure you flood my pussy next to save my career."

You're at a loss for words, whether to believe her or not, but one thing's for sure, she knows how to work you because your cock has come back to life and you're going to take malicious pleasure in making her regret having put that doubt in your head.

You grab her hips and penetrate her little pussy, slamming your balls against her arse, 

The gentleness of before has been transformed into a wild fuck where only pleasure is king. Your hands are firmly planted on her hips as you pound her with your pelvis, creating waves on her buttocks that will soon feel the onslaught of your hands.

"Daddy, your cock is stirring my insides, your sperm is mixing in my pussy, push hard".

Your daughter is now nothing more than a vulgar hole in your assaults, the seed of doubt she has planted in your mind has completely removed your sanity. If she is indeed unprotected, your first sperm must have done its work in spite of you. When in doubt, you prefer to flood her a second time and make sure she takes her medicine.

Go ahead daddy, make me your property, claim my pussy as your own personal garden, I'll take care of all your fruit,' Yuna's provocations rage in your mind. So you explode into your offspring's pussy again, you stand for a few seconds spasming against your daughter's ass as she collapses onto the bed, then you do the same, completely exhausted.

'Was that true about the pill, baby?

'Yes...' she says shyly. Now that all her libido has left her body, she presses you against her breasts and whispers in your ear: "It's too early to taste my juice, you'll have to give me some more water.

Your daughter is soon off to dreamland, still naked, and the bed is soaked with the fluids of your lovemaking. You make sure you look as tired as possible before you too collapse.

.

.

You wake up to a pleasant smell, but also to a body in pain. The bedroom gym session hasn't done your body any good, but your mind is at peace. As you leave your room, you see Yuna in an apron preparing breakfast. Beside her is a pack of contraceptive pills, two of which are already empty. When she sees you, she says:

"Good morning, Dad, you're going to need your strength, remember, you have to stir the soil first before you put your seed in. We're going to have to spend some time on this before you can make my pussy fertile for you."

Later, as you're driving to work, you see an important email from your CEO and a message from Yuna; you'd like to think that the email is more important, but that would be lying to yourself,

The text message is just a selfie of your daughter still in bed next to you with the message 'I've got a body full of marks, the girls are going to realise what we've done, not to mention I've still got your sperm in me 🤭"

Classic Yuna, but you'll have to get used to it. You've made a pact with a demon, but who cares, you're no angel anyway.

As for the email, just looking at the title 'Meeting with JYP & ITZY', it looks like you're finally going to meet one or more members of your daughter's group.

______________________________________________________________

[cxffecoupx]

universe factory

you're live, but all your fans can talk about is 'universe factory'. what in the world is that??

[yourusername is going live right now.]

"hii~ hi you guys, I've missed you!"

"'i see the headphones; will you be gaming today?' yes yes, very keen observation. there's this new game that's launched recently, called 'good coffee, great coffee'. I'll be playing that today."

"for those who don't know, its a game where you basically just have to make coffees for the customers, but they can really be a pain in the butt so you also have to make sure you're doing everything correctly and such. it's really fun though, because it's got an interesting storyline with it where you get to meet other characters too. it's reaaally fun, you should try it out."

you take a moment to read a few of the comments, where fans ask about the game, upcoming works and your life in general.

"okay guys, going to finish a round. i'll read your comments after that."

the next 5 minutes is spent finishing the game, brows furrowed in concentration as you navigate through the level, curses occasionally coming out your lips when the customers give a bad rating, but you're quick to shut them out. after the round ends, you turn to your phone.

"hello again, i've finished day 75 in the game, and i'm fairly pissed at some of the customers who ordered a vanilla latte and then complained when i gave them a... vanilla latte."

you skim through a few more comments before deciding on one.

"'omg is this universe factory?' ...what is a universe factory? i've been seeing a few dozen comments about it, but i really don't know guys."

"'it looks so similar to universe factory aah i can't believe it' guys i genuinely don't know what you're talking about. what is a universe factory? why is everyone talking about it?"

as you watch more comments flood in, you notice most of them are now related to this thing, or whatever, that they're calling 'universe factory', and a look of confusion glazes your face. a while later, clarifications start coming in.

"'it's seventeen woozi's studio. the lights seem very similar to that' ohh well, clearly there's no reason for me to be there heh. these lights were actually a recent upgrade that i did to my room. for the vibes and all... but thank you for the classification! i assure you, this is just my room, not the factory you're mentioning."

"although," you add after taking a few sips of your cola, "i'd love to work with them someday. it's like a bucket list thing, kind of. deep down on the list, though, because it seems pretty unachievable. but they're really talented and amazing, so i'd love to keep hoping."

"anyways, i'm getting back to my game. see you after another round," you conclude and begin the game. the live goes on for about an hour, before you decide that any more could actually become detrimental to your idol image and health.

"well, i guess i should end the live soon before i lose my sanity. thank you so much for watching, guys. thank you for just watching me make coffees for people in a game. i love you, take care, i'll see you next week! bye bye."

once you're sure the live's over, you can only stretch your arms and take in a huge breath before sighing. just as you reach for your cup of cola, two hands pop out of nowhere and pull your cheeks. you turn your head to see jihoon standing beside you, a huge smile plastered to his face.

a rare sight truly.

"hi, my love," he says before pressing a smooch to the top of your head and sitting on the sofa beside your table.

"i'll never understand how you did a live for 6 freaking hours," you speak through sips and he chuckles. "i could barely finish one hour and that's cause i was playing games."

"well, it was just me talking about anime, so i guess i didnt realise time pass by."

"still impressive. oh! and also, the fans almost caught onto us, you know?"

"yeah, i was watching. but you handled it so well."

"aww you softie... but seriously, i thought they might have figured it out. weren't you worried we might get exposed?"

he just waves his hand, shaking his head. "nah. i knew you'd handle it well," he says and takes your hand in his.

"also, even if we do get exposed, i'm not worried. i'd only be glad that the world finally knows we're together," he brings your hand to his lips to press a kiss.

you can't help but smile.

"aah lee jihoon. who knew you'd say such romantic things out of nowhere?"

"it's just what you do to me. by the way, you were saying you wanted to work with me sometime...? you do realise i've got a few tracks of us, right? working hot and heavy with each other?"

a/n: this was waaay better in my head than whatever this turned out to be. this is also a way for me to speak about the game I've been playing recently. anyone here who plays 'good coffee great coffee', hmu i wanna exchange souls w u (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

[kenyummy]

Heyyo!!! I'm loving the series of the Ballad of the Bygone. I do want to ask where is the original MC (DC! MC) in the DC universe? Did they die? Gotten isekaid to the Marvel universe?

Also, will the family, specifically Jason, have some guilt for using MC as a replacement for DC! MC. Like, their original little sibling disappeared.

MY FIRST ASK AARFGGG IM SO EXCITED ok guys ❤️❤️❤️

i kind of briefly brushed over it in the first chapter (or the second if u the count the prolouge i guess) but the reader originally from the dc universe was kind of switched with the reader from marvel.

(ill use spidey and dc!reader respectively to represent the two)

dc!reader is with aunt may right now, and is obviously pretty freaked out but is actually enjoying themselves with how loving Aunt May really is. shes nothing like bruce and since dc!reader isnt spidey, she can spend a lot more time with them.

their bond with harry and mj is still the same and all in all their life just seems to be a lot better over there! though they wonder who spidey is exactly (and why that suit looks so darn familiar), and why the world seems to be mourning their loss...

on the second topic of your ask—yes! guilt is a huge driving factor for what makes the fam go a lil cuckoo !!!

they messed up baddddd with dc!reader, they made them feel unwanted and bitter... so they need to fix it! they don't know you two aren't technically the same people at first, but when they find out, they're both relieved and upset.

you're not them, sure—but it's like they can start over with a new blank slate. even if they can't fix what they did to dc!reader, they can make it up by loving you as much as they possibly can!!! you don't have all those bad memories—but you don't have any of the good ones, either.

(those "good memories" were the reason why the dc!reader kept trying in the first place—in one of the chaps i wrote they were hinted at being "desperate" and that's solely bc they missed those good times they spent w dick jason alfred and bruce!!! but spidey couldn't care less—bc they have none of those memories).

their memories w dc!reader are so little and few that they can hardly remember what their personality was like, which is why it's so easy for them to "replace" dc!reader with spidey. it's a mix of that and their soul consuming guilt to make it all up to them—that drives them to get that bad

jason would feel one of the guiltiest—i purposely didn't write him as unknowingly neglectful, but more like a mix of the fact he's barely ever there, and that he doesn't want to ruin the old memories you have of him.

he's so different now—he's changed into somebody he doesn't even know, and whenever he looks at you, all he sees is that little kid he used to play hide and seek with. he can't bear to ruin your image of him into a cold blooded killer.

but when he finds you there—bleeding out after becoming a victim to the horrors of gotham—he just can't leave you alone like that anymore. he feels just so awful, that he has to make things right. he'll spend time with you again; he'll take you for a ride on his bike after midnight, even if Bruce hates it, hell—he'll even play hide and seek with you again, just to make it right.

but when you're revealed to not be dc!reader... well, like dick and bruce—he's too far gone to even care at that point, as much as he hates to admit it. it's hard for him to see you two as two different people—because he still sees you as that little kid.

he starts believing you are the dc!reader at some point—he keeps asking if you remember this, remember that, remember that burger place you all went to whenever joker was recaptured—and whenever you tell him you don't, he only shrugs it off as you being forgetful.

just because he simply cannot handle the fact that he messed up, you got hurt, and now he doesn't have a chance to make it up to dc!reader. you two are practically one and the same to him—because he didn't get to see you grow up, he didn't get to know you—this is his chance now.

(but deep down, the guilt eats him up inside. deep down he knows this isn't his [name]. deep down he knows he's just using you as a way to channel the feelings that consume him).

deep down—sometimes, he can't find it within himself to even care. as long as he has you.

thank you for asking even if I yapped ahahasggaaga

[meara-eldestofthemall]

Gee, thanks DC! You Just Turned Bruce Into An Irredeemable Ass.

So, at the end of Gotham War Bruce has officially lost everything. Alfred is still dead, Selina is "presumed dead" and Bruce is both financially and morally broke. Why, you may ask, is Bruce so much worse off this time? Let me count the ways.

He preformed a psychic lobotomy on Jason

The "it's for your own good" excuse only makes the mental rape undertaken by Jason's own father that much more heinous.

Just when you think Bruce can't sink any lower he does. When Dick recognizes that Bruce has lost it, he attempts to use a failsafe disconnect that Bruce himself built into the system. How does Nightwing get thanked for that? Well that brings us to number two on the list.

Batman attacks up his eldest son for doing what he's supposed to do when Batman has gone rouge.

Bruce beats him up because nothing proves you are in control of your sanity like hitting your children. While Dick is holding back, Bruce does no such thing. He hits Nightwing hard enough to send him flying. It could have gotten even worse if Tim hadn't shown up.

Tim arrives and attempts to talk some sense into Batman.

Tim tries to talk Bruce down. It doesn't go well. When Robin is trying to help, as he always does, Batman uses the attempt to reason with him to put the smack down on his son. Bruce could have killed Tim but apparently feels no remorse or guilt.

If there was any teeny tiny little doubt that Bruce will not win the Father of The Year award in 2023 it died a horrible screaming death when Batman abandons his children to potential arrest. Yes, he left a batarang for Dick and Tim but any glimer of possible hope associated with that action was instantly extinguished by Damian's reaction to Batman's callous betrayal.

Bruce abandons Damian.

Look at Dami; he's devastated. Since he came into Bruce's life, Damian has struggled with feelings that he can never earn his father's love and respect. Well, that negative self-image was reinforced in way that may never be repairable. Bruce just utterly destroyed a 13 year old child because of his inability to feel any kind of empathy.

And how does this all end? The best part is that Bruce takes all of his parental responsibilities and dumps them onto Dick.

Thank you Chip Zdarsky and Trini Howard. You've taken Batman from being an edgy anti-hero and made him into a callous monster. Part of me hopes that Bruce never comes back because he doesn't deserve his family.

The only positive aspect in this convoluted mess is that Damian and Tim will be far better off with Dick than with Bruce. Yes, Tim is mostly independent but he still needs guidance (particularly since Tim's first instinct is to try and save Bruce). Damian is essentially Dick's son emotionally anyway so this might help to sustain the positive character growth we've seen in him as of late.

The point of this rant is to wonder what on earth DC thinks they're doing. This story arc has been pure character destruction as far as Bruce is concerned. It's bad storytelling too; rushed, frenetic and massively disappointing.

Hasn't the popularity of Good Dad Bruce in Wayne Family Adventures proved that fans are tired of Bruce being a dark depressed and brooding edge lord? We all accept that Batman is a character with deeeeep issues who is in desperate need of therapy. I, however, draw the line at Bruce being an abusive a**hole.

In years to come when fans wonder when Batman jumped the shark, this is the plot line they'll point to.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Discourse is like "People take this 'ableism' thing way too far, they'll say it's ableist to [thing that is definitely ableist, but not for the reason the people they're rebutting think it is]."

Most things are ableist, because we live in a structurally ableist world. Most of our core assumptions about value and hierarchy and correct behavior are ableist, because we live in an ableist society. So yes, "People on the internet go around calling everything 'ableist'" because everything is, in fact, ableist! Because systemic ableism is the water we fish all swim in!

But anti-ableist discourse often begins and ends with "It's ableist to say that people should do that because some people are disabled and can't do that." This kind of objection kind of... only touches the surface of systemic ableism. And it gives the impression of objecting to a valid generality with some kind of special pleading, which is just... beside the point. Any discussion of ableism centered on "There should be An Exception for Legitimately Disabled People" is just... an insufficient framework for addressing systemic ableism.

So you end up with someone saying "I said that people should eat their vegetables, and somebody called me ableist, because some disabled people can't eat vegetables! Isn't that ridiculous? Obviously I'm not talking about people who legitimately can't! I'm talking about people who are too lazy to try! These 'anti-ableism' people take things ridiculously too far!" And. Like. "Some disabled people can't eat vegetables" only touches the surface of why saying "People should eat their vegetables" is ableist in the first place.

Why is eating certain foods being framed as an obligation that someone needs a "legitimate excuse" to opt out of? What underlying beliefs about health, diet, nutrition, and morality are built into your premises about what people "should" eat? Why does the spectre of the person who "Doesn't take care of their health because they're lazy" bother you? What function does judgment of this real or hypothetical person serve? Do someone else's food choices affect anyone else? Even if you can come up with a way that someone else's food choices can theoretically affect other people, is that the real reason why you're judging them? Or are you reacting to a lifetime of cultural messages around health moralizing and judgment of "laziness" and "excuses" all of which are rooted in systemic ableism and then retroactively justifying it with an ad-hoc claim about "Well uh... uh... the environmental impact of food production!"? Cool, but is that the real reason you've constructed this image of a Lazy, Unhealthy Person With Bad Health Habits to get angry at?

"People on the internet" say that "everything is ableist" because everything is in fact ableist!

[gilverrwrites]

idk if this is too weird or dark but I’ve been thinking about Arkham Knight Jason and Slade ruining Jason’s replacement by brainwashing her or feeding her Ivy’s aphrodisiacs, so every time one of them walks in the room, you’re ready to please them. You learn to automatically open your legs or get on your knees when you hear heavy boots approaching wherever Jason’s keeping you. Jason films a lot of it too, like when Slade will find a spot on the floor and you’ll immediately move to straddle him, grinding a little as you lean down to suck the old man’s tongue.

Related posts: one, two, three, and four.

WARNING: NON-CON/DUB-CON, brainwashing, corruption, degradation, spit. Just, these two should come with one of those toxic waste symbols on their heads.

Oooohhhhhhhhh, Ivy’s aphrodisiacs but not telling/gaslighting you into believing it's all on you, you just want them so fucking bad. You're lucky to have them to take care of you. Your body isn't betraying you, it just knows better. It's your base instincts telling you you're not meant for heroism, you're meant for fucking these nasty, dirty men.

That's why you feel so flushed whenever they're in the same room as you, that's why you can't help opening your legs and bucking your hips when they look your way, that's why just the graze of their gloved fingers on your cheek makes you cry in frustration, makes you beg for more.

"You should be so fucking grateful, letting you ride our dicks." Jason likes to taunt, with his face buried in your bouncing tits, finger in the flesh of your hips. "Where would you be without us? Still at Batman's beck and call. Waste of a perfectly good slut."

There was a time when you would kick and scream whenever you were even left alone with Slade. He used to tease you, threatening to bind and gag you, knowing full well he much preferred the thrill of the fight, preferred taming you the hard way. Now, now he just whistles and you're at his feet like a good little bitch in heat.

"I don't think a minute goes by where you‘re not thinking about this cock being inside you. Is that right?" He'll coo as he holds you steady, cock pulsing in the back of your throat, making sure you choke on him until tears are streaming down your pretty face. When he finally lets you go, you know to say 'Yes, sir." If you want him to keep using you.

Also, anon, I gotta say, the image of Jason filming while you grind in Slade, sucking his tongue, fingering his silver chest hair, just being a good girl for that filthy old man is sending me and has been since I read this like WHAT.

Jason jacking off to the whole display, spitting the vilest shit while you grind a stain into Slade's pant leg with your disgustingly wet pussy. “You like that, you needy whore? Old mans barely even touched you and you're creaming all over him.

Feels good, right? Letting your body do what it wants, take what it needs?

Oh just you wait ‘til I get my hands on you baby, you're not gonna know a word that isn't ‘fuck’ and ‘please’ by the time I'm done.”

Slade doesn't even care when Jason calls him an ‘old man’, not when you're sitting pretty, drooling on his fingers and begging for a good fuck.

"You look so good getting fucked like that, pretty girl." "She feels fucking good, you like that don't ya?" "Yeah! Yeahyeahyeah yeah, please don't stop." "Oh, don't worry, you nasty slut, I'm not stopping anytime soon." "Now smile for the camera bat-brat, this is going out to all of Gotham. Say 'Hi Batman!' Ha, blow him a big kiss baby."

And you're so fucking out of it from the pheromones or just, the euphoria of being bent and twisted and praised and degraded and railed just right, or whatever reason, that you do exactly that; With Jason's fist in your hair, his spit on your face, a smile on your lips. You flutter your lashes, waving limply into the lens as you say 'H-hi Batman! MuWAH!'

Shit, what if when they're not around they have all the footage Jason took playing on a loop wherever they're holding you. Intermitted with clip/photos of you pre-capture To remind you of how far you've fallen.

[ncillary]

Self Aware AU (Sylus)

Summary: You have the lowest Affinity with Sylus. The reason is because he is a red flag. As red as his eyes. Spawn of the devil. Unless, he is actually not as evil as you label him to be. Does this change something in you? Yes? No? Maybe so?

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Masterlist Self Aware AU

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| 1 [current] | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------&&&&&-------

"I'm letting myself beta test this game just to receive a spawn of the devil? What a bull!"

You huffed out after you saw the official news about the new character.

"He already has a fandom even before his release. Maybe he wasn't so bad." Your friend sipped her drinks.

"They're just joining in the bandwagon of a hot looking face. But with a thrash personality, he remains a thrash."

"Wow. Slow down. You might get yourself in trouble for that."

"Let them. It's not like I'm bothering them in any way possible. I'm just complaining to my sole therapist." You grinned playfully.

Your friend looked deadpanned at you, "Pay up."

+------------------+-----------------+---------------+

After the update, you enjoy all the free resources the game gave to its players. The Main Story? You ignored it. You went with your merry routine each day. Going into Main Story update meant that you had to meet him. You're content with not meeting him. AT ALL.

Until an event came up.

Your friend's story peaked your interest.

"He almost died in the desert. You gotta question what exactly happened there, you know. Plus he said he had been called worse than the monster MC had him play the role that time."

"Hoooo... Setting some vulnerabilities to a strong character like him, huh. That's interesting."

That night, your interest had you searching for a fan post on the full video of his limited card for the current event. You looked bored until you reached the end. The scene where MC lounging around at night while having a quiet conversation with him.

Your heart wretched when it played out. The animation. The voice. Him thanking MC with the genuity of how much he felt at that time.

A tear trickled down to your cheeks that went unnoticed. Sobbing.

"...huh?"

You were confused. You stopped your curiosity there.

+---------------------+-------------------------------+

"So..." you cleared your throat, "what's his Main Story like?"

Your friend was looking at you, amused.

"He saves us from the kidnapper. Argument ensued. We kinda shot him on the chest," your eyes widen, "force to resonate with him-"

"What!"

"We knew people using his name to take the blame for explosion of MC's house-"

"What."

"He left us alone. He came to our rescue. Again. Make a deal with him to go into a dangerous place that he warned us about. He left us. Again. Safe us. Again. Ended with MC and him had this kinda connection like a red thread of fate."

You stared at your friend.

"All of this in just two chapters?"

"Yup."

You massaged your temple, "Maybe I shouldn't have been so stubborn by ignoring the Main Story. It IS the most important aspect of the game."

Your friend patted your back, "Enjoy your consequent to your action."

+---------------------+-------------------------------+

A few days later, you decided to finally brace through the Main Story. It's enjoyable. You admitted to that. Until the last chapter.

The blurriness. The blood. The embedded sword.

"You must press on."

That statement was resounding in you. Tears pooling in your eyes. The scene ended with a lot of open end mysteries. Good cliffhanger.

But you didn't register for that at all. Your mind was stuck on the image of Sylus walking away in the night.

"Where..." You breathed heavily.

What did you want to say?

Why this affect you so much?

+-------------------------+------------------------+

"Relax. I'm just a normal customer who wants some coffee."

You sighed, "Indeed you are."

You let him linger around after finishing the Main Story a few days ago. He just stood there. Watching you, MC, with an occasional smile. You had quietly selected him as one of the cafe encounters along with the others.

Staring. Silent.

You spoke first.

"...I'm sorry... judging by the bit of memories in the Main Story, MC probably stabbed you. Me stabbing you. I hurt you first. You did nothing wrong. I apologized for hating you for no reason. You're pretty chill." You gave him a simple smile.

"Take a deep breath. The air at night is more refreshing than daytime."

He suddenly spoke. You laughed slowly.

"What a coincidence. Well then, let me enjoy the night air and eat my late dinner peacefully."

You logged out.

+-------------------------+--------------------------+

He stared at the spot where your face was present seconds ago. Deep. Longing.

He gave a low laughed as he walked back to the sofa.

"We finally met, kitten. Take your time. I'll be here. Ready anytime."

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| 1 [current] | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

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Masterlist Self Aware AU

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[the-music-maniac]

I get a little annoyed when people's complaints about zosan stray into the "Sanji would never fall for Zoro because of personal hygiene issues" territory. Mostly because I feel like it involves a fundamental misunderstanding about their dynamic and also Sanji as a character.

First of all, Sanji smokes cigarettes and cooks seafood and shit. Even if he does shower daily, there is no way he smells like a rose garden. So there's that.

Second of all, Sanji is a COOK. You literally cannot be a cook if you're afraid of getting your hands dirty, if you're afraid of working up a sweat. He knows the value of hard work in that regard. For his craft, Sanji gets all up in some fish guts, he hunts, he cleans, de-feathers, skins, butchers whatever creature they've managed to hunt - come on y'all. That is not a man that would be a germaphobe. He keeps his workspace and himself clean cause that's the mark of a good cook, but the man would have no qualms about getting dirty. He ain't squeamish.

Third, Sanji's entire thing is that he ACTS like a refined gentleman, but he's a little bit batshit crazy in the same way all the strawhats are. He's one of the monster trio for a reason! They're all freaking unhinged, Sanji's first reaction to seeing sea monsters is to yell that he wants to cook it. He's fought so many battles, I've no doubt that there's blood soaked into the soles of his fancy loafers, caked into some of the hems of his suit pants. My point being that while him acting like he's a gentleman with "refined tastes" is no means deception (he probably has excellent taste when it comes to dining) he also doesn't fit that description entirely. He strives for it, in order to maintain an image, and it also plays into his whole "ladies man" thing as well. But he's not actually a refined gentleman in our traditional interpretation of the word. He's down to slum it if needed, and will kick a person's ass for not finishing a soup that has a bug in it because it would mean wasting food. Also the man has worn orange crocs. Refined my ass.

Fourth, you can deny it all you want, but Zoro and Sanji have always been and will likely always be, two people that match each other's freak. And by that I mean that all it takes is Zoro muttering one little disparaging comment, and Sanji is immediately there, ready to throw down, dirt and sweat be damned. If he were to complain about Zoro's supposed bathing habits and shit, while I don't doubt some of it would be genuine complaint, it probably would mostly be because it would annoy Zoro. But when it comes down to stuff Sanji actually gives a shit about, hygiene would probably not be high up on that list. He is 100% that motherfucker that would get heart eyes over Zoro eating sugar onigiri out of the mud to spare a little girl's feelings.

I get annoyed by people using that argument as if it's a legitimate reasoning for why Zoro and Sanji wouldn't get together. Like what impression of Sanji do you have in your head? You think the dude that constantly knocks foreheads with Zoro during their antagonistic (gay) posturing would get squeamish about Zoro being a little sweaty? Sanji can be your babygirl if you want, but we gotta stop acting like he's the type to get squeamish over stuff like that - there's no way that out of ALL the issues Sanji has yet to work through locked up in that pretty noggin of his, that personal hygiene would be the hold up on a relationship between these two. The zosan dynamic is Sanji complains loudly about Zoro being a disgusting brute and then will turn around and roundhouse kick a man's head off. Like yes, Sanji. That's not the pot calling the kettle black at all.

None of this is a complaint btw. That's literally my favourite part about Sanji, and Zosan as a whole. Sanji wouldn't be nearly as interesting if he was just a gentleman. Zosan wouldn't be as compelling if they weren't two lil peas in a pod, equally as unhinged. The only difference is Zoro puts literally no effort into trying to hide his level of derangement. Which is also very in character for him, btw.