#and yes it would be nice if other people did them but - spoiler alert - its a video game??? you - as the player -

[brokenhardies]

apparently this is an unpopular p5 opinion but;

you guys do realize that the protag is meant to be a blank slate that you put yourself onto?

[ilovebuckers5]

.·:·.✧ Say No pt 2✧.·:·.

NIka Muhl x Fem!Reader

"and I would say all of this but I don't want to ruin the moment"

word count - 2.2k

themes:

-smut!

-slight fluff

A/N - I love this part sm omg. no other notes just read it and enjoy.....

It only took a couple days for people to start seeing the glances that me and Nika shot at each other throughout the days. Of course KK noticed first. Something tells me that shes like a child who makes fun of you for having a romantic life. If you can even call it that.

The more I got to know Nika, the more I wanted to date her. The way her dark eyes become more visible in the sun and the way her skin absolutely glows at the beach. All the time actually. I couldn't help but look up to my ceiling on nights that we weren't together and just pray that she felt the same way, even though we were trying to not date. Just keep it casual.

Some nights got so tiring not being in her arms that I would call Paige and beg her to send Nika over to my room. The entire summer was like this before she asked me out. Yes SHE asked ME out. Everything started to fall into place once July hit.

"Hey how are you doing?"

It had been silent for a little while. Nika decided to sit in my bed for a little while. It was a couple days after her ex broke up with her and we- yeah anyways. The silent almost became deadly to sit in so I broke it. Nika's head popped up from her phone and faced my direction. Her eyes were still a bit red with dilated pupils resting in the middle. She gently set her phone down in her lap, giving me undivided attention.

"Huh?"

Her voice reached a higher pitch at the end of short response.

"You know. How are you?" I gestured my eyes down to Nika's phone that was sitting peacefully on her stomach. To be honest I really couldn't care less about how she felt about the breakup, I just wanted to know how her emotions were doing to know if I could pour my heart out now.

Spoiler alert, I couldn't.

"Oh. Shitty I guess. He tried apologizing"

Her hands moved up to her own strand of hair that was hanging in front of her eye and pushed it back behind her ear, still maintaining eye contact.

My jaw almost dropped agape but I kept my composure. I couldn't believe that this guy would even breakup with the Nika Muhl but trying to get her back after? Fucking insane. Inside my head I was praying that she didn't take him back because if he did I would just have to bang my head on the nightstand next to me.

"What a loser. What did you do?"

"I.." Nika's eyes drifted over to the curtain behind me, breaking our eye contact for the first time tonight. "I blocked him"

I couldn't help but let a small smile grow on my lips at the sound of those words leaving her mouth. I nudged her shoulder gently, causing a smile to pop up on her usually serious face.

"Uh hello good job! I swear every other girl would take him back and then get hurt again"

Nika didn't deserve to be hurt ever. Most people see her as this aggressive Aries that has the same mentality off court. They see her as a bitch who wont let you touch her but shes a hugger. She loves hugs and she adores being hugged. Nika loves hibiscus flowers and cherry flavored gum on occasions but usually spearmint. She doesn't like being ignored because that's the one thing she used to do to people. And she remembers the moment of people telling her that she hurt them and feeling her heart shatter. Shes a softie when people care for her. Like a bee. Don't swat at them, and they wont sting.

"Thanks. I still miss him though"

Fuck.

"That's ok. Its normal I mean its only been a couple days since you guys broke up. Heartbreak lingers for a while. I promise someone better will come along"

Nice.

Nika sighed softly and let out a short groan before looking back down at her phone.

------------------------------------------------------------

july 7th 2023

Thursday. The day not even a machine could wipe from my memory. I woke up to Qadence sitting next to me holding a bucket beside her. I must've gotten drunk the night before

"Wednesdays go crazy" she said laughing as my eyes slowly blinked open

Last night had to be the blurriest time to imagine.

july 6th 2023

"No no let me stand on the table pleaseee" I whined into Caroline's ear while her hands were wrapped around my waist trying to get me to sit down. failing.

"Hey Nika why don't you give her a try?" KK yelled out while watching the chaos I was causing.

Nika gave an annoyed stare at KK before walking up to a drunk me that wouldn't let go of the edge of the table. Nika approached me with a calm look on her face and steady hands. Her fingers slowly wrapped around my waist and gently tugged me off of the table.

"Cmere time to go"

Even though Nika was just as drunk as I was, she seemed so collected. I mean collected enough to pull me into her arms without making out with me in front of everyone. A chill ran down my back as Nika carefully carried me to the exit. Not actually carried but you know what I mean.

Nika gently lifted my arms to help me get in Caroline's car before we drove off back to the hotel. Me and Nika used each other as support to get back to our room. The both of us plopped onto each other's beds and almost knocked out. But before either of us could fall asleep I looked over to see Nika crawling onto my bed. I felt her hand slither against my thigh once her body was fully next to me.

My eyes were immediately drawn to hers, which was focusing on my still lips.

"Can I?"

Nikas hands teased around the edge of my shorts, slightly unbuttoning the, with one hand. The moment I nodded yes both of her hands were at my waist, ripping my bottoms off. I held my breath until her fingers curled under the lace of my panties. She slowly slid them down my legs and then lifted me onto her lap. Her head was pressed against the bed board.

My clit dragged against the zipper of her leather skirt that I was needing to take off now. Without hesitating I pressed my lips against hers not even waiting to become sloppy. Nika's lipped wrapped around my tongue perfectly causing my legs to gently squeeze against the thighs that I was straddling. Her hands slowly made their way closer to my bare pussy, teasing with my folds.

"Fuck!" I whined out while trying to stay silent.

Nika easily swallowed every noise I made. while her traced around my hole teasing me into pleading for her to fuck me.

"Please.." I whined into Nika's mouth

"Please what? Use your words pretty"

"I need you to fuck me" I quickly gave in.

Nika quickly sent two of her fingers in me slowly pumping in and out. Her lips still sucking on mine gently. A louder moan left my mouth followed by me quickly grinding against her fingers.

"S-Shit"

Nika took my movements as a sign to quicken her pace. She curled her fingers up hitting all the right spots. Her patience was obviously not strong that night. I quickly came on her fingers, making her smirk at herself. Everything felt so right.

My walls that were clenched around her fingers slowly relaxed as she fucked me through my orgasm.

"Fuck don't stop"

I continued to grind my hips against her hand as she slowed down. of course she only wanted to make me come once before I got my turn.

"Up." I wrapped my hands around her thighs and gently lifted them up.

Nika was silent until I slipped my tongue onto her own clit that was helpfully bare. I flicked my tongue against her pussy just to tease her like she teased me. I began to gently pressed my tongue flat against her folds before diving into her.

With ease, my tongue collected everything that left her. before I even noticed that Nika's hands were tangled in my hair, her thighs wrapped aoround my ears. Sadly muffling her perfectly voiced whines.

I continued to lick and slurp at her folds before finally pulling away and licking my lips. Without doing anything else I crawling back up to her lips that now had lipstick smudged around. I noticed that a couple streaks of mascara had left her eyes but I chose to ignore that cause girl me too.

I remembered to let my tongue slip through my mouth and into hers before the taste of her left my tongue so that she could get a taste too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

july 7th 2023

After throwing up around four more times I got dressed into a tank top and some jeans. Today the entire team was headed to the aquarium for some reason. I decided to put my hair up in a clip instead of letting it down.

The only makeup I put on was some mascara and lipgloss before actually leaving my room and heading to the main lobby where I saw a couple of the girls sitting down.

Once everyone was ready, we decided to go in different cars and meet up at the aquarium. I was with Ice, KK, and Paige for today. The car ride was going smoothly until Paige decided to turn around and ask me probably the most out of pocket question to exist.

"Why did I hear squeaking last night? From your room actually" She was clearly laughing and trying to get under my skin. My face went blank as I stared into her with only annoyance in my eyes.

"Literally shut up." I snapped back and smiled sarcastically.

The aquarium was huge, way bigger than any that I've been to. The first thing I saw when I walked in was a school of blue ring angelfish surrounding the entrance. To my left was a restaurant and to my right was a souvenir shop. and right in front of me was Nika, Qadence, and Azzi sitting down in a couple chairs. Me and Nika locked eyes almost immediately but I looked away without hesitation.

I sat down across from her and pulled out my phone while waiting for everyone to arrive. I don't know if it was very obvious (it was) but I went straight to Nika's Instagram so that I could look at her without looking at her.

My fingers scrolled across her page until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I quickly shoved my phone into my pockets while turning it off. I turned around to see Ines and KK standing behind me laughing.

I gave both of them a menacing stare, threatening them with my eyes. they ran off to grab drinks from the restaurant.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The aquarium was fun and so fucking pretty. My favorite was the seahorses and otters. My phone was now full of pictures. One thing that threw me off was the crabs, oh and the fact that the entire team couldn't stop giggling when I even glanced in Nika's direction.

Every time I looked at her I saw a nervous look wash over her. It was honestly funny the way she couldn't look at me for shit.

After around 30 minutes of looking around the aquarium I sat down at the restaurant tables and looked at the menu. The entire building was painted in teal and blue shades no matter was direction you looked in.

Just as I was going to read my order to who I thought was a waiter, Nika stood above me with a worried frown plastered on her face. I gave a small smile at her before she sat down at the table I was out. she sat right in front of me and stared into my eyes before speaking.

"Alright. Shit I'm doing this. Ok, listen I know that I just got broken up with and shit but I really need to ask you something serious. I need all your attention on me please"

Nika's words were laced with worry but I turned over the menu I was previously looking at and stared right back at her. Was this really happening?

"Jesus this isn't happening. Is it really that unnoticeable. I like you. No I don't like you I love you."

I could notice that she was starting to panic. I look around to see Azzi and Paige behind us with a phone recording everything that was happening. That's how I picked up that this was real.

"Yes Nika yes"

I said with urgency, not letting Nika finish her sentence. Boom. We started dating. I could feel my face heating up every second that passed. Nika's face stopped with the worry look and she began to smile. The corners of her mouth slightly dipped down showing her more shy smile.

"Thank Fucking God."

[fanaticsnail]

ARGHHH CURSE MY BRAIN FOR FORGETTING SO MANY THINGS (aka even more addition to my answers for the ask game. the ask game is now my reasons for ranting. please be careful of the length of this rant)

How the hell did I forget about Uta my beloved and X Drake my sweetie cop boy. AND KING. AND REIJU. ARJFKFHFKSJ-

• What song makes you think of your favourite character?

For Uta, literally every song on the Film Red album (personally, New Genesis, Backlight, and The World's Continuation really scream Uta to me). The songs really show how Uta progressed in the movie and it's just so fun to hear the tune change from a pop song to rock-style and to rap and then to ballad (that broke my heart). I first knew of Ado this way and boy did she have a really good voice (her growls omg).

On the topic of Ado, there's a really good song (also her debut song) called Usseewa that I think fits Law in the context of him expressing his dissatisfaction and anger towards Doflamingo. The catchphrase of the song is literally a very rude way to say shut up (usseewa), so- yeah.

And riding the bandwagon of "songs I know and ring with a particular character", Luffy with stupid by John Michael Howell (yes, again, I am just dumping songs that have a nice ring to them rn). This song is just my personal headcannon of how Luffy's stupidity mirrors a choice he made (unknowingly?) to preserve the brightness he has and to prevent himself from turning cynical like most of the world. After all, how can you see the good in the world and its people if you're constantly afraid of everything being everything it isn't?

SPOILER ALERT FOR KING'S ORIGINS/BACKSTORY AND X DRAKE'S IDENTITY

Moving on, I just got one for King (my dearest), Just A Man from Epic: The Musical (I have seen the book and it scares me and I have not touched it again since that moment). I know this is a bit turning the lyrics on its head but I feel like it'd fit him in a situation where he sees the Seraphims and he was reminded of his situation. He was a child when he had to witness the extermination of his people. He begins to think about how he's now Kaido's right-hand man and the people he's slain. He doesn't want the Seraphims who look just like his people to witness such violence and get corrupted at such a young age. I feel like deep down, King still wants to go back to a place he called home even when said home might not even be there anymore, but he's too busy trying not to get exposed and sold out to the World Government. The overall melody and lyrics just *slams table* it's just KING-

Back to a lighter mood, bc of a cinematic I saw on Tumblr (and then on Youtube) of Business Man by Tom Cardy with X Drake... yeah. It just sticks so bad I can't even keep a straight face anymore XD (pls watch it. I cannot explain the comedy magnificence in words alone) (cue drake singing i'm a business man with a business plan and apoo and hawkins watching with a look of disbelief)

Link: https://youtu.be/sg9CVmJQZ9o

OKAY SPOILER OVER

• What song makes you think of your OC?

I got a collection of them, but some that really stand out to me is Nobody by OneRepublic for Ainsley since he's Samantha's support pillar (he was the first Anomaly (what I call most of my OCs in this universe) that Samantha (albeit unknowingly at the time) created just for that purpose) which is why he's essentially the other half of her heart. He has been, is, will, and would always be with her as an everlasting companion/counterpart. Where Samantha is the more serious, stressed natural leader type, Ainsley is the laidback chaos in flesh type.

And then there's lovely by Billie Eilish and Khalid for Samantha. She's coping with her stress and borderline depression by becoming stoic and hardened (although still easily irritable sometimes (similar to Crocodile tbh)) and when I heard lovely my mind just went "yes that's her song, make her depresso espresso". Add the extra seasoning of something similar to savior complex and just being too responsible for things that she overworks herself (workaholic) because she got them standards.

There's also Royalty because DAYUM this fits her vibe so much. Like she isn't the grand flaunting bright kind of nobility but a "i rule over everything you know but you won't know about it until i tell you" royalty.

Last one for now (because I'm Indonesian and this is played real often in the radio rn), there's an Indonesian song called Gala bunga matahari by Sal Priadi that talks about accepting the passing of a loved one while living on happily as they hoped even though the singer still misses them. It really reminds me of Samantha just reminiscing on the people she they? loved who had already passed. The depresso espresso personality actually comes from Samantha being the first Anomaly created by the (mostly negative) subconcious of the entity right now dubbed as The Primordial One (yes all my Anomaly OCs are self-aware to some extent). The Primordial One of course has origins and that's where the remembering past friends part comes in. Tbh the OC universe is pretty much The Primordial One's subconcious that created a whole new universe and the lore goes deep here as well so I'll cut it right here (might pop up in your askbox with extra bits of lore tho).

• If your favourite character was real and appeared beside you, how would you feel about it? What would you do?

Honorable mentions because they're beloved (these exclude the intial shock reaction)

Uta: KARAOKES. BE FRIENDS WITH HER. SING ALONG. LISTEN TO HER MAJESTIC VOICE. I will teach her the music of this world and then go shopping. OH RIGHT JAMMING TO SONGS FOR HOURS JUST COOPED IN MY ROOM ASKSJKA- (as you can see i am not normal about her)

King (haven't i wrote this already? Anyway): 1. How did you fit into my house without breaking anything, 2. How the hell am I supposed to take you out with all these wings characteristics, 3. What kind of clothes would fit your tall ass

X Drake: so are you a cop - no i'm not - yes you are - of course not! - okay stop. I know you're a cop (shows him the video earlier clips of Wano, the Fandom, and all that) - ...okay then goddamnit - it's okay you're my lizard bbg - w h a t

Reiju: MMM SUGAR MOMMY. I'll save enough money so I can go to Japan and eat fugu (Japanese pufferfish) with her without big risks because have you seen how she saved Luffy from getting poisoned pre-WCI? Hell yeah. Aaand take her out for a shopping trip together and I'd really like to take her to a museum that focuses on biology and not just the appearances (like. museum/aquarium date. that's my mommy)

shiiiiiiiiittttt my rants might've gone out of control. Hugs and cookies for one of my favorite fanfic writers, bye- (i don't want to burden you pls don't feel pressured to answer this and hope i don't have anymore amnesiac sessions akrkrkj)

Now, you listen here. (Affectionately)

You can't just drop "Just a man" on me like that. Its so incredibly emotional, and I think of Gol D Roger every time. Just the:

"I look into your eyes, and think back to the son of mine... I'm just a man who's trying to go home... Deep down, I would trade the world to see my son and wife. I'm just a man."

Okay, now that I've said that. One Piece Red is gorgeous, and I love it so much. The music, the costume changes for the characters in that battle KOBY was just spectacular.

I love Samantha and Ainsley so much. I also adore the song 'Royalty', it's on almost every playlist. I HC that song with the monster trio. As a violinist, it sings to my soul. Samantha hitting it with the Billie Eilish just 🥺🥺🥺🥺. I adore her.

Also, X Drake and King 😭😭😭😭😭. The way you speak on them so passionately 🥹🥹🥹. I love it. I need to write for X Drake so bad. Also, agreed on Reiju. I can't wait to write for her in the next few weeks 🙌. Love her so much.

Thank you so much for your thoughts. I love them so much 🥹

[daisywords]

Just finished North Woods by Daniel Mason in an effort to diversify my reading a little bit (and on a rec from a friend who only read litfic) and like. It was fine. The prose was very nice, and some of the characters were intriguing. I just kept hoping that it would all come together more interestingly and satisfying in the end. And then it was...fine.

I'm discovering that as a rule I personally tend to be unimpressed with the kind of novel that's really just a short story collection or a few novellas masquerading as a novel. To me it seems they are always desperately reaching to be greater than the sum of their parts, and they always fail.

Not that books like this can't be good (I liked Cloud Cuckoo Land okay*) but I don't tend to find that the loose connections between narratives really add that much. Like sure, that's a way to explore themes across narratives in a way that you might not be able to do with a more insular story. But I guess I find myself more uncharitable than other people I know with the whole "oooh and the storylines were all connected!" like yeah I know. because the author made them all up and made them connected. Which like, yeah, that's how all fiction works, but like. "They're all connected" isn't enough. They're all connected and therefore What?

Not that books like this don't usually have a "therefore What" in mind, but I have yet to read one that I feel actually accomplishes this as well as it ought, since that's usually their whole Thing™

Something that North Woods did do particularly well with its multiple narratives, in my opinion, is the variety of voice and tone that really embodied various distinct characters and writing styles in a way that felt natural and true to the different formats while still remaining engaging. That's one of the things that was enough to keep me reading to the end, and it's pretty impressive in its own right.

But as I went on, I was only really reading to finish, and then the big finish was. well. spoiler alert but they're all ghosts together I guess. so.

Okay so we just kind of stomped on some of the creepy and subtle ambiguity that lent a lot of charm and interest to the various stories by just completely ripping aside the veil, as it were. That's not an inherently bad choice depending on where we're going with this, but I guess nowhere is where we're going now that we're here. Why demystify your mystery if you're only going to make it boring and not really reveal anything new?

And the whole time I was waiting for what the whole thing with the panther was going to lead up to. Yes, there are two times where a (the?) panther explicitly comes into play, but the other mentions of it are woven so subtly and exquisitely throughout that for a while I thought that was the main throughline we were following, just as much as the house/woods. It's even on the cover! And for what? That it was there throughout? for What????? the vibes??

In the unlikely event that someone who sees this post has actually read this book, maybe you're going to be like "daisy, that's because you are stupid and don't have reading comprehension and are missing the obvious" okay great well then tell me. I am genuinely asking.

But also I do have to say skimming the goodreads reviews there is a lot of "it has themes of connection because the stories are all connected. this is very profound and also impressive"

And also! I'm going to say it! Some of the storylines are kind of shallow and melodramatic! This could have been interesting if we actually delved into the character more instead of just kind of skimming through their life story, hoping that the combined weight of the other interesting-enough pieces will sink the surface-level stuff into some level of profundity. Very pretty nature writing, though.

Anyway I don't feel bad being uncharitable to this book because I'm pretty sure it's a pulitzer candidate or something and has plenty of good reviews. (And there are a lot of good things about it!) Mostly I'm using it as a poster child for its structure, because the whole loosely-connected-narratives-across-history/place thing I feel like keeps cropping up in the kind of books that my mom's book club reads and that people say are really good but don't really do it for me. (And I feel like this style of book is getting more popular? maybe that's just me?)

Anyway if you're still reading: do you tend to like these types of books? why or why not?

*Cloud Cuckoo Land in my opinion was weakest when it tried to sell us on the connecting threads as well, but that's an idea for another post

[hellsideangel]

YES ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT WISH FILM AND OTHER REFERENCES CUZ I GO ON A LONG WINDED TANGENT. ITS LONG. IF UR READING ITS UR FAULT. U COULD JUST STOP READING. UR WELCOME.

So I recently watched wish and at first I was like meh cuz all the new Disney animation films have the same vibe. Felt like a mix between Moana encanto and Raya? Is it Raya? Forgotten the name of the other one. The songs were good but it didn't really stand out to me much. But I did really like the concept mainly because it tied together Disney really nicely. Like if I worked for Disney this would be the last ever film to make to tie everything together "the magic of Disney" or so to speak.

Cuz the premise is around wishes and that when you wish upon a star your dreams will come true hence the ending song which was quite a cute end scene and was totally what I was thinking throughout the film so glad they put it in. Now I also know alot of conspirast people trying to link every film and story together and I'm all for a good conspiracy however, the stories themselves are meant to be separate roles but within the Disney message. So for me it feels like a reach to say all the references to other films from wish is because wish is the pilot film for every Disney film. Cuz it's definitely purposefully referencing the films to celebrate the 100th film. And we know conolocally that alot of Disney films are actually from darker tales like grim brothers or 101 night etc and are remade into something more light hearted with a positive message of magic and dreams. So ya defo a stretch.

But I do like imagining these correlations and it spurred this overwhelming desire for Disney to do more villain or at least context backstory related films to fill in the gaps in which they reference. For instance, the trapped in a mirror thing. If this was for viewers to assume that the evil queens mirror had a sorcerer whose consumed by a book (even if it wasn't wishs villain to be exact more like foreshadowing U know) then why isn't there a film about this sorcerer and their backstory in being trapped in the mirror or from being a slave to their power?

If a star chooses people to be fairy god mothers and their powers are hard to control, why isn't there a backstory on a fairy godmother and how they came to be. Just turning up and never being explained later is a little unfulfilling. Plus I'd like to know why e.g. Cinderella: shed choose to help just Cinderella go to the ball instead of any other lady? Is it because Cinderella was the only one who wished hard enough? Or were there other fairy godmothers who were summoned and the other people who were at the ball were actually people just like Cinderella. There's been speculation about the glass slipper that if it fits exactly how did she loose it in the first place? Maybe someone else from another fairy godmother also had to run and lost their shoe. And Cinderella's just ceased to be cuz magic. Speaking off why didn't the slippers disappear? Was it intentional? Was it all manipulated?

Have you ever watched once upon a crime? They did a pretty good job at filling in weird blanks in an interesting way. Or have you watched once upon a time? Again they would show all sides of the same fairy tale story to the point where all the stories link by the people who play a part in it. What Disney is inherently missing is the fact they made something interesting but failed to continue on for those interested.

Like take wish for example. I absolutely loved some of the characterisations. Absouloutley love how star just kinda did what they wanted especially the mustache yarn thing. Another one of them being the vain villain. And it got me interested because to me alot of the character felt very Disney you know all happy do lally and unrealistic. But the villain felt very real. The hint of trauma that something had happened to his family, it's his duty to prevent it from happening again, he made a safe city, he saved everyone. So it's only natural he gets pissed of and feels like everyone sees him as a tool to exploit or that he isn't being appreciated. His methods definitely need adjusting and his inability to listen to another side of the story without feeling like it U with me or against me you know. His full on insecurity that if Ur opposed me it must mean Ur attacking me. It makes him a very real and human toxic character which I just love. Not that I love or condone his toxicity in itself, but I love the way it was depicted this time around. Like every real toxic person he's real easy to trigger and very cut and dry thinking. The vanity part still felt very Disney that oh he's a villain so he has to be self obsessed and vain about his looks. But we will make him sooo insecure about everything else lol. I saw alot of anxiety and PTSD in it. Anyways without the book I wouldn't see how he could take away people's dreams, but with the book it can be explained as being blinded or whatever so the book kinda works.

I am interested in what happened. What triggered this desire to 'protect' lol and what is this book? Where did he get it? How did he know it was bad? Why does he keep it?

I don't want an explanation, or just a villains perspective. I just want to see more of the depths of this character and more of the context. This can be done through villains perspective or even though a different characters perspective entirely.

But Disney doesn't do this. Instead they hear people like the villains so we should make a villain based film and try and explain everything or change things for more equality even though it's an obvious change that now draws attention to the past films prejudice that U didn't notice before. Anyways an example would be maleficent. I actual like maleficent despite all these negativities because it was an attempt at something more. I got to see a different story or side that changed everything. But relating to the base movie sleeping beauty, it just didn't hold up. And in a way I prefer it wasn't just a copy from the villains side cuz that would be boring, u'd know everything.

But it wasn't exactly fulfilling for my curiosities. In sleeping beauty I was curious about why she wanted to curse the child and not the parents when it seemed obvious there was some type of drama with the parents. And why so convulooted? Prick finger on a spinning wheel and die. And then why alter it? Why allow her to survive for true loves kiss? Is this a hint? Showing some type of love betrayal? Why was she not invited? Then uve got the 2 or 3 fairies. They have magic. Why couldn't they do anything? Why just raise the kid and change the colour of her clothes? I get they might've given up magic to go into hiding so they aren't caught but if think they'd try and do something like attack or protect or find her true love through magic? There's 3 of them they could've split and tried different things. Such a minute role they played when I'm sure they have the capacity to do more? And since they have fairies magic must be concolical to this world. Isn't there anyone else the king or queen could've called upon?

Then there's prince Phillip. I think he was bethroved to aurora when she was a baby. Ik Ew. But like why was Phillip where aurora was? They made it seem coincidental but was it a set up in hope he'd break the spell? Or was this the plan all along to force her into her betrayed marriage? They also fall in love way too easily. I'm guessing it's probably because it's the first man she'd seen or the first person who tried to be romantic with her who knows. Maybe just Disney being 🤢Disney.

Anyways back to my point. Now look at maleficent. I really enjoyed seeing the raven actually be a person maleficent uses. I would've never thought of that since pets in Disney are the norm. But hey side note-wpuldnt it be cool if Phillip was actually maleficients ravern? So like she put in a I'm not so evil clause I'll let U off if she finds a lover. But she knows she's bethroved so she knows they will pick phillip. So she makes Phillip her pet ravern. Would be kinda cool. Anyways back on track. Also they introduced this idea of fairy racism if U know what I mean. So maybe if U go to sleeping beauty, maybe they denied her marriage into royalty due to her being a fairy. And it does seem like they keep fairies like maids. But in maleficent they explain that the king and her fall in love as kids but distance since he wants to be king. It showed that royalty wants to inade the moors which is like magic land. Showing this war between magic and humans. Which isn't explained either as to why but racism is always a why U know fear of difference. To be king he had to 'kill' maleficent. So he cut her wings instead. Pretty fucked up and kind of explains it. It's why I quite like this film. But it still doesn't flow. Because if Stefan loved her why did he hurt her instead of try and unite magic and humans kind? If he hates magical beings so much, why does he have 3 fairy almost like maids to help secure his child and willingly help?

Now about the major change being that instead of the curse being lifted by Phillips kiss it's done by maleficent. I hated this bit since it felt like they were proving the same point as frozens kiss. We already get the point. I do like the fact true love can come in the form of family instead of lover though but it felt unneeded to the story as a whole. For me it would've been more exciting if Phillip kissed her it didn't work and maleficent laughed. Stefan be crying why. And shed be like U should know as well as I, true love doesn't exist. Instead they had a heartwarming I love U kiss. I do actually like this twist of malefiencint and the daughter forming a familial bond. That it's not the kids fault for who her father is and having her hesitate. But anyways my point is that maleficent still didn't satisfy the CURIOUSITY of sleeping beauty. It did bring the raven and revelation she's a fairy and the prejudice as something new to the table. That's what sold it tbh. But that's about it. It's better to be thought of as a spin off than a continuation of the base film.

Like take wish again. If they just make a film showing a dark magic wizard taking people's wishes from them and killing his family. And the villain from wish sneaks into this wizards domain and learns from his books magic he gets caught fam gets drained of wishes, villain of wish drains the wizard of his wish in a major showdown then he vacates everyone saying promise Ur wishes to me I'll protect them away from people like him. If I don't have them it can be taken. Even this is a pretty generous idea to think Disney would have but this would be unfulfilling. Because it's too explanatory. The reason he's evil is because people stole wishes from his family due to their selfish wish of never having any of their own or because they could or whatever. So he needed power to take wishes store and keep them safe. Or like is someone wish was to murder and so he stores wishes to make sure a bad wish can never be obtained or whatever. It's too simple. Life and films are messy complicated with back stories and characterisations and different connections and flows between each thing that impacts another.

To have such a simple he's evil because of this isn't enough. It needs to be this is what he chose. These are the reasons that drove him here. Also the love story between him and his queen would be interesting to note. For example something fulfilling could be that when of age and U have a wish magic happens. People studied the fenominom and sorcerers were born. There were different groups and different classes within each group. Some groups resorted to control thinking that wishes and magic needed to be controlled to avoid catastrophe. Others focused on freedom that everyone deserves to have a wish fulfilled. The wish villain was part of the light-hearted Disney wish fulfilment sect. His family was proud of his affinity for magic. Another sect came and went rogue taking wishes from others to obtain power. The wish fulfilment and control sects worked together to inprison the rogues. Their books were stored (intro into bad book). Curious our wish villain wanted to read the books friends with one of the control sects. Told don't warned horror. Tried to burn it but fought back flew into the prison and ate one of the rogues. Sealed and told not to open or attack. Wish villain met a woman fell in love. Showed her how his sect grants wishes. Whilst there accidentally witness one of the higher ups granting wishes secretly. Darker wishes being granted like the ability to turn whatever you touch to gold. Saw a human turned gold. They scream or whatever and get caught. They run villain wish hold them off whilst lover runs. So obvs lover don't see this bit. Argues U stole my books, my experiment they were never to be used this way. Meanwhile his control friend is watching and listening. U believe it too don't you. All wishes should be fulfilled! There should be no limit! Why didn't U come to me with the material. Would've saved the journey from having to steal it myself. It was to fulfil a wish for riches and fame. When I realised what it actually did I knew it was wrong. This wasn't what they meant. And we fulfilled that wish. This wasn't meant for you. And now Ur using it to hurt people. Well this is my wish, shouldn't my wish be fulfilled. Control friend joins. This is why I say control is the way. It's ok I can take it from here. Before control could do anything or wish villain could say anything his friend turns to gold. Why do this? Because I want to. Because I desire to. This is my dream in life. We are all selfish you know, we all are willing to do anything and everything to make our wishes come true. I guess the question is, how far are you willing to go? He throws the book sealed int he box that was meant to be back at the prison. Wish villain shouts no and vanishes using his power. He asks his lover to runaway with him. Tells of friends death. And his dream to protect people by protecting their dreams. But inside his fortress he still kept the book. He never wants to use it. But he still hears the words how far are you willing to go? He makes a kingdom. But the people are selfish. They want his magical displays. He travels outside to bring food to the city without flagging any enemies. The people don't know. But they ask for more. He catches thieves in his kingdom. You know humanity being humanity not everyones good. People want their wishes granted and more and more. He establishes a rule of control. It's not the people's fault if I can just control them to bend to my will then everything is safe. Anyways went really off on a tangent now debating whether I should post.

I mean, I doubt you all gonna read this all. And I ain't popular on here so should be fine to post? If U do read this the unlucky few, do let me know how to tailor future posts so I no longer feel permission to make posts as long and messy as I want and see the reality and issue of my ways. If not I will continue on. So please someone stop me 🙏

Also even this version is too explanatory Nd I kinda of went of one. I mean his backstory has to incorporate the thieves that stole his home and family. But I'd like to see the roots of his twisted ways. Above I kinda thought nativity and disillusion could be the roots. But idk. Maybe I want a villain whose just a villain. Like coraline. The other mother. Sure they explain through the cat that the other mother preys upon souls that offer up their eyes to her and takes the form of people's family they wish they had. But they don't explain why she preys upon people or why she chose to target families or whatever. They didn't have to. She was depicted as a hungry spider like monster. The reason she is the way she is is cuz Ur prey and she's playing with her food. The only curious thing was the hand thing at the end was hoping for a sequel if she could interest the real world or only take from her parallel one.

Anyways in this way the villain is still explained contextually, not fully and it's excepted as just evil. So for wish villain we'd want to see his vanity from youth and his love of power. To see what he'd sacrifice for this power. Also some type of explanation to how he reached the extremely of the book, and the book itself. And of course the thievery trauma incident which would be even better if it was the villains fault but he blames others in denial as if he were the victim adding to his toxic character of him being everything almost like a god and how he sees everyone as disrespectful.

Story writing is hard though so I do appreciate that it is tonight to meet the demand even I didn't like my version when trying to think of one less explainy more depth emotion backstory context you know. So points for effort. And who knows what ze future holds. But ye wish ... defo worked to Disney's brand. Felt like a brand film. Love the villain. Like the music. A little too familiar with other recent films but hey Disney can't be the old version. Want to see more potential especially since Ur mixing things up. Maybe some more queer stuff too but not just cut and paste in really odd and obviously done just to tick a box kinda mentality U know. Um ye plz stop me from making future posts. Plz do.

[pearl484-blog]

Yes, but not in the way you'd think. Amelie would ground Felix, senti-monster or no for pulling a stunt that involved a missing person's without her knowing, and if she did know, her first priority would be kidnapping Adrien to allow Felix to replace him and gather evidence. Amelie is very goal oriented, and Felix, although dramatic, is much the same. Felix's behavoir of kidnapping people and letting them go repeatedly would be seen by Amelie as extremely erratic and worthy of lecture, especially his repeated "I'm missing" "No, I'm back again" acts that are back to back. This is not a stealth game where the guards have anterograde amnesia. That is worthy of a lecture, whether he is an artifical creation or her son.

~*~ Emelie, if she were there, would not tolerate Gabriel's cataclysmed arm. As soon as he comes back with that war wound, Emelie would ensure that that arm's coming off, whether he likes it or not. After all, Black Cats aren't just known for Destruction. They are also an embodiment of Bad Luck, and she does not want to deal with the world's most powerful curse from the world's most powerful Bad Luck Charm. Gabriel is lucky that he survived that in her eyes. An arm is a small price to pay for that. ~*~

The Adriens though are the most interesting. Because of how Felix regularly interacts with Adrien, Felix has a tendancy to get on their nerves very quickly. Senti-Adrien gets a bit more sympathy, and they're usually pretty kind to him, although they do not trust him. They will typically hunt his amok down for him. Senti-Kagami is an interesting case, as Nox has never interacted with her and has mentally dubbed her as Blue's fiance. I'm looking forward to writing their meetings as I'm sure it will be very fun. Blue...has a different reaction to Senti-Kagami which has spoilers. As for non-sentimonster parts, the Adriens will not allow an easy capture by Senti-Felix!Argos. That was a straight up horror movie cliche that SHOULD'VE lead to Adrien running or sounding an alarm. My best guess why he didn't was because he missed Felix. The Adriens would run. As for the dance, the Adriens would clock Felix as an imposter quickly and react poorly. Either they assume its Felix, in which case, Felix is impersonating them again and talking to Kagami. Disaster! Or, they don't notice till he's transformed and then "Ah! People are going to think I'm a terrorist!" Or they think it's an akuma/sentimonster thing and start a scene, either by confronting him in person or starting a false akuma alert. They also don't particularly like Gabriel's nice act because of Duusu's influence. After all, Duusu is experienced in unhealthy relationships and allows her Peafowl to sense emotions. She's going to ring alarm bells and encourage them to act to protect each other.

Tell me, what would your headcanon versions of the Graham de Vanily sisters say to someone who wanted to make a real human child with the Peacock?

Ah! I see your issues with tumblr were resolved! Good for you! I'm so glad my askbox didn't eat this one. As for the Graham de Vanilys, they would mostly be confused. Not by the concept of an artifical human. Their enemies keep sending those to try to kill or spy on them all the time. However, in this universe, it takes a great deal of focus and control to make a sapient senti-monster that can pass for human. If you have that much control of a senti-monster, they would probably wonder why you wouldn't make it a shape-shifter masquerading as your child. This would earn you a valuable spy/assasin/bodyguard that you could bring under an innocent guise. If you were to make a senti-monster that can COMPLETELY pass as human, it'd have to use it's ability slot to have the ability to mimic bodily functions like bleeding, bruising, salivating, losing hair, clipping fingernails, etc. (bleeding and bruising being the hardest as the sentimonster would have to give up its signature durability to secrete a liquid when injured and having that ability to secrete it visibly even under relatively thin skin) and even with ALL of that, it would never pass a DNA test or be fertile. At that point, bith the sisters would agree that a shapeshifter would be more practical. As for the Adriens, if they spotted senti-Adrien, they'd be impressed and horrified. Senti-Adrien would the the equivilant of making a fully functioning tank made of cotton candy that shoots one tiny skittle with every shot. Yes, it's impressive, but WHY? It basically nullifies all of a tank's advantages (Senti-Adrien would have poor defense, poor durability, no access to its own hammer space, and a VERY limited lifespan compared to a similarly sized counterpart), and that's not even considering the ethical ramifications of a fully sapient senti-monster who doesn't have his own amok.

[starship-squalleater]

There’s something about people getting mad at characters that bothers me so much… watching things isn’t about deciding if the characters are smart or moral or assholes and then basing your enjoyment of the show off that, it’s about the story, right?

If you hate all the characters in something, or they bore you, or you just don’t care, that’s one thing. That’s fine. But like, hating orym for stabbing dusk? Hating laudna for being hypocritical about the nightmare king? Hating Ashton for hitting birdie, or for smashing the rock (which got fixed like two seconds later)? Hating the Calloways for working with Ira or leaving Fearne with Morri or whatever you’re mad at them for? What the fuck is up with that???

I watched a Star Trek video essay pretty recently that was talking about how people were mad about the Klingon redesigns over time, and how the first change was later given an explanation, thus making it no longer “break canon”. This person just said, “if the next season gives some side explanation for the change, would that make you less angry in retrospect? Would it change your enjoyment of the show?”

It (spoiler alert!!) is quite likely that birdie and Ollie DID know who they were working with, DID know what was going on, and tried to leave. Tried to do what people have been saying they SHOULD have done. They just couldn’t. Do you all like them now? The reason for disliking them isn’t just gone, it didn’t exist (and yes, you can have other reasons. I’m talking about this one.) in the first place.

If the story was finished. If it was done in its entirety, and none of that had been done, then sure, absolutely, make judgments. Even if the story isn’t all the way done!! If it looks like a characters story is done or they’re not going to change, be angry and all that. Just wait to make the judgements, yeah?

On that point, too, I don’t even see the necessity in making judgements. I’m not going to make a judgement on Laudna crushing on Ira, because I just want to know what happens as a result. If it goes bad, it goes bad. I’m not gonna say she’s a bad person? If it’s the real world, of course I’m side eying a person crushing on the nightmare king. Neither of them are real, though, so it’s just fun. Fearne saying “keep going” when Ollie’s nose starts bleeding. Bad? Good? I don’t give a shit, I don’t need to make that judgement right now, I just want to know what happens next. It’s not the real world!

Also there’s a difference between actual play shows and shows that are written beforehand? I know that players foreshadow things, we all know not to trust Sam’s stutters, but still. You can’t expect to judge people here the same way you can other places, things aren’t as intentional. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying they’re unintentional, but players forget things. They say things in the moment. They can’t look back at everything they’ve said or done, it’s just not how it works.

I didn’t really expect this to be a whole rant, but damn. I’ve been blocking people left and right. I never understood why people always complained about chat or fandom bc it’s usually really nice!! But man, I get what they mean now. Anyway. Just enjoy the show. You don’t have to base your morals off the characters, you don’t have to condone or condemn anything. So don’t!

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 2 - First Impressions [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback to the first chapter my loves ! ❤ Here’s chapter 2, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Word Count: 2500

Warnings: Mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language.

Summary: First impressions can be wrong.

Chapter 1 

Being a spy for years had taught you to be able to tell whether a mission would be dangerous or not before they even sent you there.

For example, the mission they had put you on three years ago where you had to poison the target in a very crowded ballroom while pretending to be an artifacts expert was a dangerous one.

Or five years ago when you had quite literally brought a dagger into a gun fight in a storage unit, that was also quite dangerous.

But something told you that going after Bucky Barnes would be the most dangerous mission you’d ever had so far, and you weren’t even going to be engaged in a fight.

Instead you were expected to make him fall in love with you, which-

To be honest, engaging in a fight would’ve been much easier.

“This is unacceptable.” Your best friend paced in the empty conference room while you nibbled on the chocolate, keeping your eyes on your phone. “You should’ve said no.”

“I can’t say no, it’s a mission.”

“No, it’s my father treating you like a—like a—“ she threw her hands up, “Honey trap!”

You shrugged your shoulders, scrolling down on the screen but then looked up when she snapped her fingers in front of your eyes.

“Y/N!”

“Chloe if I nail this mission, I’ll get the position I want. I could be a handler next year, do you know how big that is?”

“You need to stop pretending like you’re fine with this.”

“You’re sending me the files tonight right?” you asked, ignoring her huff of impatience and she sat down, crossing her arms.

“Yes,” she said, “Everything there is to know about Bucky Barnes is in there, lots of things you could use. I gathered it myself. His past, his interests back then, what he has been doing since he got here, his favorite porn, his favorite musicians—“

“I’m sorry, what was that last one?”

“His favorite musicians?” she played dumb, grinning and you shifted your weight.

“You wouldn’t do that background check on me, would you?”

Her grin widened as she wiggled her brows, “Just so you know, you’re such a cliché.”

“Jesus Christ.” You slipped a little in your seat, your cheeks burning, “I hate you so much.”

“No you don’t,” she sang and you tried to focus on the screen, but the door to the conference room opened, gathering your attention. Your jaw dropped as soon as you saw the figure stepping inside and you jumped on your feet as Chloe gasped.

“Keith?”

Keith was the third member of your small friend group. He was a field agent just like you were, and for years you, Chloe and Keith had always had each other’s backs, in or outside of missions.

Back at the academy you were inseparable and it had been months since you had last seen him.

“Figured I’d find you two here,” he said, “I just followed the scent of despair.”

“I thought you were still in Prague!” You rushed to hug him and he ruffled your hair before you batted his hand away.

“I was but I got called in at 5 in the morning. General’s orders.”

“It was about time my father did something right.” Chloe came to kiss his cheek, making him grin, “Gosh, it’s so good to have you back!”

“Good to be back, gorgeous,” he lifted her up in a hug before setting her down as she squealed, “I missed you.”

Your jaw dropped when you saw the file in his hand, “Hold on. Is that what I think it is?”

“It could be,” he told you, “That is, if you’ll have me in your mission.”

“The best news I got since I landed.” You pumped your fist in the air “Yes! Yes I do want you in the mission!”

“So then,” he said as he sat beside you and put his feet up on the table while you leaned back, “Is what I heard true?”

“Yes and you need to tell her she’s being ridiculous,” Chloe motioned at you and Keith pursed his lips.

“I just thought we put this whole honey trap thing behind us back in 1950s.”

“Exactly!”

“Guys come on, if Accords pass—screw that, even if they don’t pass, think about how we can use Barnes.”

Keith clicked his tongue, tilting his head.

“Will we use him more than we’re using you right now?” he asked and you rolled your eyes, grabbing the file in his hand.

“Your alias is Whistler this time?”

“Yep,” he nodded, “General says yours is Shrike?”

“Mm hm.”

“Considering what this Barnes mission entails, I’m surprised he didn’t call you Swallow.”

You kicked at his boot and he let out a laugh, holding his hands up.

“What? That was the terminology back in the day for agents seducing people for the mission, wasn’t it? Raven for guys, swallow for girls.”

“Hilarious,” you deadpanned and Chloe sat on the table, still pouting.

“You’re both fine with this then?”

“Chloe, the guy was around in World War 2,” you said patiently, “If I don’t want to sleep with him, I’ll just tell him I’m waiting for marriage, it’s probably not a foreign concept for him, old times and all. Happy?”

She arched a brow, “If you say so,” she said, “But you know there are examples of undercover agents falling for their targets, right? Especially in situations like these.”

Keith chuckled, “Yeah, that’d make a great story for your grandchildren.”

“Except that I wouldn’t get to have those grandchildren because I’d be killed.”

“Don’t say that!”

“Just let me know beforehand if the Winter Soldier decides to make an honest woman out of you,” Keith said and you stuck your tongue out at him.

“Look at you, making jokes.”

“I’m a funny guy, thank you very much,” he said, “So what are we doing tonight?”

“Killing some Hydra scum,” you said, “There’s this gallery opening, apparently evil guys love art nowadays. Who knew?”

“You need a spotter?”

“Sure thing.”

“After you guys are done killing that target, can we hang out?” Chloe asked, “We need to catch up.”

“Only if I get to pick the movie,” Keith made a face, “I don’t trust your taste after the last time.”

“10 Things I Hate About You is a classic!”

“Do you want to hear the one thing I hate about you, Chloe? Spoiler, it’s your taste in movies.”

“Play nice, kids,” you said, skimming the lines on the screen and Chloe huffed.

“Fine. And after that, we can work on the seduction mission.”

“You’re in on that as well?” Keith asked and Chloe nodded.

“Duh.”

“Look at us, Charlie’s Angels is back.” Keith said, “Wait, does that mean General is Charlie?”

You supressed a laugh and shook your head fondly, looking at Keith.

“I missed you, asshole.”

“Missed you too, trouble.”

                                                       ***

Working for the division you did had its advantages, and it never stopped to surprise you how you could always get the newest gadgets before going on missions. Chloe had installed certain features into your “sniper costume” as she put it, and one of them was a ring that would call the nearby agents of your team to your location, and the other one was a ski mask that was both bulletproof and could change your voice.

“Batman does it, why not you?” she had said before making you try it.

“Shrike, ma’am?” Keith’s voice echoed in your ear and you adjusted your earpiece before checking the harness around your waist, just in case you needed to jump off the building. Your team was already in position if you were in any way compromised, and you started setting your sniper rifle.

“Since when do you call me ma’am?” you asked Keith and he chuckled.

“Since they put you in charge of a team.”

“Don’t listen to him, guys,” you said to the rest of the team and took a look at the city lights, taking a deep breath.

Rooftops were always peaceful, even when you were holding a sniper rifle.

“ETA of the target?”

“Two minutes.” Keith said and you pressed your lips together, pointing the rifle at the entrance of the gallery, looking through the scope.

“So I think I found a movie for tonight,” Keith said as you shook your head slightly, trying to focus.

“Later.”

“James Bond?” he asked, “We can take a shot every time the movie gets something wrong about being a spy. We’ll probably be hammered by the end of the night.”

“One minute, Shrike.” One of the agents said and you exhaled through your mouth, your finger on the trigger.

“No seriously, don’t you guys like James Bond? I think it’s because of that movie I chose this line of work, but—“ Keith was cut off when you pulled the earpiece out of your ear to have a moment of silence so that you could concentrate when the target arrived, but as soon as you grabbed the rifle again, you heard the familiar sound of someone racking the slide of a gun, followed by a calm voice.

“Easy there,” he said, “Put the rifle down.”

You cursed at yourself in your head, then withdrew your hands from the rifle. Your earpiece was off, meaning that no one in your team could hear you, and you checked whether you could grab the gun from him, but he wasn’t standing close enough.

Professional.

You held up your hands, then slowly turned to see who was threatening you before your heart dropped to your stomach.

Damn it.

This was definitely not the way you were supposed to meet Bucky Barnes.

Thankfully you were wearing a ski mask, so your identity wouldn’t be compromised and the next time you met him, you could pretend.

And he would be none the wiser.

You pressed on the ring Chloe had given you to alert the others, keeping your eyes on the barrel of the gun.

“I thought I saw a glimpse of a scope.”

“Congratulations,” you deadpanned, trying to stall so that your team could get there, “You want a watch as a prize? A refrigerator?”

He looked almost surprised at your snarky comment and you shrugged your shoulders.

“Listen, it’s my target. So if you want to kill him, too bad. I was here first, early bird and all that, shoo.”

Even you could see his confusion that lasted for a second and a small smile pulled at your lips.

“Ah. You don’t know who my target is.”

“I know I’m not going to let you kill someone in a pretty crowded gallery.”

“Even if it’s some Hydra scum?” you asked and he pulled back.

“What?”

You stole a look at the entrance of the gallery over your shoulder as the limo pulled over.

“Mm hm. You really shouldn’t be stopping me Barnes. We got this, you can go and play the superhero with Wilson.”

“You know who I am.”

“Everyone knows who you are,” you stated, making him pause for a moment.

“I didn’t catch your name.”

You tut tutted, “Don’t be greedy.”

“Well, how do I know you’re not lying about your target if you can’t even give me your name?”

“Why would I lie about my target?”

“So that I would let you shoot him.”

“Aw, you’re cute,” you taunted him, tilting your head, “But I don’t recall asking for your permission.”

He stared at you for a couple of seconds.

“Who are you?” he asked and you grinned as you heard the footsteps coming closer.

“Until next time, soldier.” You said as the team burst through the door, guns blazing. He turned around to point his gun at the agents, immediately taking cover as you picked up the rifle again.

It was time to get back to work.

You looked through the scope, found the target and pulled the trigger, blood splattering over the walls and chaos erupted over the street instantly, people screaming and running everywhere. You looked over your shoulder to see your team managing to keep Barnes busy with the constant gunshots, then you checked the harness around your waist again and jumped over the roof to land on top of the car waiting for you in the street. The rope went up to the roof as you unbuckled it and got into the car, pulling the ski mask off your face.

“You weren’t compromised, right?” Keith asked and you shook your head.

“I’m not an amateur,” you said as he stepped on the gas, the car breezing through the road. 

“You don’t look so happy,” Keith said after taking a look at you and you pursed your lips together, deep in thought.

“He didn’t take me hostage.”

“Hm?”

“When the team burst through the door and I turned around to kill the target. He’s a super soldier, he could’ve grabbed me, use me as a leverage to get out of there. That’s what I’d do but he didn’t attack me or the team, he took cover.”

“So?”

“Keith, it’s the fucking Winter Soldier we’re talking about. He can kill a team of agents in seconds, but I bet he just got out of there. Without hurting anyone.”

“Maybe he’s just a good person.” Keith chuckled and you slipped a little in the seat, biting at your fingernails.

“I guess.”

“Would it be so bad?”

“It would make no difference,” you muttered, keeping your eyes on the city lights, “Good person or not, he’s my mission.”

“Clearly, but aren’t you going to feel just a little guilty if he ends up being a good guy?”

You scoffed a laugh and turned to him.

“I’m no use to anyone if I develop a guilty conscience,” you stated, “Much less to myself. You know that.”

A silence fell upon the car before he heaved a sigh.

“Listen, Chloe has a point as always,” he said, “These kind of missions are hard, okay? The longer you’re playing your part, the easier it will be to believe it. Feelings get involved, there are bunch of agents who ended up hesitating when it was time to bring their target in, so if you—“

“I won’t hesitate.”

“Y/N.”

“I won’t hesitate,” you repeated, “I swear. The minute this mission is over, I’ll bring him in. Orders are orders.”

Keith let out a whistle, “If you say so.”

You bit inside your cheek and leaned your head on the window, fixing your gaze outside.

“Considering the lack of alternatives,” you rasped out, “Yeah. Yeah I do say so.”  

Chapter 3 

[spencerspecifics]

HI HI HI PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE MOREID AT PRIDE AND SOME PINING AND SPENCER THINKS DEREK IS STRAIGHT BUT HE ISN'T AND THEY KIIIITTTTTHHHHH

I absolutely love your energy fuck yes!! I’m so sorry this took forever, ive got school, work and some other personal things happening so I appreciate your patience!

No TW, B u t, a creep hits on Spencer at pride, so if that is upsetting please note that! Thanks :)

———————————————————————

Pride

———————————————————————

Garcia had been pestering Spencer about going to pride for the past week now, and it was slowly driving him insane.

He used almost every excuse he could think of. When he first turned her down, he had simply said, “Sorry, I’m going to be busy that week.” And of course, Garcia being Garcia, she stole his calendar to see what he was busy with (spoiler alert: he had nothing. Except a reminder to go grocery shopping, and email some professors and research scientists back).

So, she persisted, and he came up with a dozen more excuses; “I was considering flying out to see my mom”, “The local museum has a new interactive archeology exhibit for adults, and I want to learn more about ancient structures”, “I have to do a presentation on thermodynamics”.

None of those excuses work, as she sniffed out every lie, “Spencer, you hate flying to Vegas last minute, that archaeology exhibit has been open for months, and your calendar is empty!”

So with her persistence, and legitimate bullying, Spencer found himself finally agreeing. “Fine, but come over to my apartment before we leave so you can help me.” After all, he wasn’t really familiar with pride parades, and what the scene was like there. He was going to be a fish out of water, he already knew that for certain.

~

True to her word, Garcia showed up an hour before the pride parade was set to start, carrying a coffee in each hand- how she possibly knocked on his apartment door, Spencer didn’t know.

“I brought you a pick me up, that way you have no excuse to be in a bad mood!” She spoke in her signature sing song voice as Spencer let her inside, she barreled in like a hurricane. God, Spencer wasn’t ready for this.

“Thanks..” Spencer decided to reply with that lame response, and not with what he was actually thinking. He took the coffee from her wordlessly as she stepped in further, going to sit down on his couch.

“You excited?” Garcia asked as she set her cup down on his cluttered coffee table. Reid just shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t do great with crowds.”

“But you do great with disarming murderers?” “You know that’s different-” Spencer said, doing his best to argue, “Reid it is literally not. Both are anxiety inducing, but one is life or death, and it’s not pride. So you can do this.”

Spencer sighed, resigning himself to not arguing with Garcia. Because she was right, though at times her arguments sounded wild. He just had to get over this anxiety and show up at pride, he could do this, right?

~

Wrong. So, very, wrong. They had left his apartment with thirty minutes to spare, deciding to walk over to where pride was being held- as it was only a few blocks away in a public park.

And as soon as they got there, Spencer wanted out. There were so many people, more than he estimated (and his estimations were usually spot on.), and there was just chaos everywhere. Music, dancing, shouting, singing, drag queens running around happily. Spencer wasn’t sure what to do. He was out of his element.

Garcia seemed to sense that, though, as she dragged Spencer over to some stalls that sold pride flags, pins, and other miscellaneous pride related things.

“C’mon Reid, why don’t you look around and find something you like?” She offered up, something for him to do- something for him to stay busy with. He could do that. Spencer nodded simply, Garcia stayed by his side- looking at pride related wear for herself.

~

Spencer ended up deciding on a small pin that simply said; “love all”, planning to stick it on his messenger bag strap. Garcia bought a pin as well, but hers just had her pronouns on them; “she/her/hers”.

Looking at all the pride apparel was a good distraction for Spencer, he felt a lot more calmer now- though that didn’t stop him from feeling like he stuck out like a sore thumb. He’s just not familiar with this world, and it’s awkward to suddenly be in the middle of it.

Spencer was in the middle of looking at another booth that sold flags, possibly considering buying himself a small one to stick in his pencil cup at work, because Garcia left him to go compliment a drag queen- when a voice broke through.

“Hey, pretty boy!”

That was a voice all too familiar, what on earth was Morgan doing here? Spencer looked up at him as he made his way towards him. “Hey,” Spencer spoke awkwardly. Not sure what to say.

Spencer was gay. He was fine with admitting he was gay, but he hadn’t really told the team. He thought they figured it out on their own. And they probably had, but still, having his coworker see him at a pride event- it was anxiety inducing.

“What’re- what’re you doing here?” Spencer asked, stumbling over his words as he dropped the small flag he was holding back onto the vendors table.

“Oh, well I’m on the local PFLAG committee. I’m just here to hand out flyers and stuff. But I’m glad to see you’re here, I’m guessing Garcia’s here too?” He asked Spencer casually, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on Spencer.

He was on the PFLAG committee? Why? To help queer people, obviously, but that had to mean he was gay or something- Spencer couldn’t stop his mind from coming up with every possible answer to why Derek was on the committee.

Spencer just nodded in response, he moved himself back from the vendors table to get out of the way, so other customers could look at the flags being sold.

“Yeah, she’s- there.” Reid pointed her out, as if on cue she came out of the thick crowd that had started to gather back up, the parade portion of pride had concluded by now, and people were coming over to the vendors section.

“Hey, Babygirl!” Derek called over to her, and Garcia somehow lit up with a smile brighter than the one she was wearing before, “Well, hey!” She responded enthusiastically, walking up swiftly to give Derek a quick embrace, which he happily returned.

“I wasn’t sure how long you were staying for, but I’m glad I caught you!” Garcia started rambling to Derek, about how the drag queen she met was so nice; “Her name was Mysteria Hysteria. Isn’t that genius?”.

~

Spencer just stepped back from them both, not sure what to do, not sure if he fully belonged. Pride was a nice event, it was. But the longer he stood around, the more he felt like he should be leaving. Everyone was laughing and smiling, everyone was just happy. And Spencer couldn’t stop racking his brain. In the beginning, he couldn’t stop thinking because of his anxiety, but now he was searching his brain for a reason why Derek was here and what it meant.

Of course, a stupid large portion of Spencer’s mind went to “maybe Morgan likes men”, and then an even larger and stupider portion of his mind had the absurdity to think; “maybe he’s interested in me”. Which Spencer did not even want to remotely entertain, because if he fell down that rabbit hole, he’d never climb back out.

Because yes, he did like Derek. He liked him a lot, the start for his liking towards the man was innocuous enough- which is why it was a problem for Spencer. He didn’t realized he liked Morgan until it was too late. And now he had been battling these feelings for years. Spencer wasn’t ever going to act on them, he just had to live with them- which he had been doing, which he has been content with. But this new information, about Morgan being here, being part of PFLAG- it was going to make Reid’s mind implode in on itself.

~

Reid decided the best thing was to say; “I’m gonna get some water, I’ll be back.” To which Derek and Garcia both nodded to, and Spencer was off, away from the vendors stand and the only two people he knew at pride.

And while that was a good thing, it was simultaneously not so good. Because now he was alone, overwhelmed, and thinking too much. And now he had a task to do, find himself some water.

~

That task seemed to be more difficult than anticipated, as the prides layout was a confusing maze, spencer had to pass in front of a group of drag queens in order to get to the food trucks that were on site- but he eventually got there.

He walked up to the first food truck he saw, it didn’t matter what they sold, he wasn’t getting it.

“What can I get for you?” The cashier asked him, “Just a water, please.” He ordered, the cashier nodded and pulled a bottle out from a cooler that was nearby within the truck, handing it over to spencer as they told him his total, a dollar twenty five. Spencer paid quickly, stepping back and away from the food truck, as he wasn’t sure where else to go now. He didn’t want to go back towards Derek or Garcia, he honestly wanted to go home.

He just needed a minute, some space and time to breathe and relax. He was stressing himself out. And about what? Nothing of goddamn importance, just a stupid crush he had been living with for a while now.

~

Spencer had been leaning against the back the food truck for not long, only a couple of minutes as he was absorbed in thought as he fiddled with the cap on the water bottle.

He was doing his best to follow the grounding techniques he had learned, something to help him calm down, when suddenly- a stranger emerged out of the crowd.

“Hey there, handsome.” The man said confidently as he strode up to introduce himself Spencer. Spencer looked up to meet his eyes, the man in question was a fine looking guy, chiseled jawline, long shoulder length hair, a bit of facial stubble. He was handsome. “Hello,” Spencer answered hollowly in response. In an ordinary situation, he would try and seem more lively- but he wasn’t in a normal situation, not at all.

The anxiety of attending pride was stress enough on its own, but now knowing the guy he had been drooling over for years was here- and worked as a PFLAG volunteer? It was enough to make him lose his mind.

The man didn’t seem to notice Spencer’s empty response, however, as he answered suavely in response; “I couldn’t help but notice you from across the way. I’m Fabian,” Thankfully, the man- Fabian, didn’t stick his hand out for a handshake, instead casually pushing his hair back a bit.

“I’m Spencer,” Reid replied simply, knowing it was best to ride this odd social interaction out, rather than try and fight it. “That’s a lovely name,” Fabian complimented, “Is this your first time at pride, Spencer?” He asked him casually, taking a step forward, closer to Spencer. He was all too confident for Spencer, he too comfortable with invading Spencer’s space. If Spencer could’ve, he would’ve stepped back.

“Uh, yeah. My friend dragged me along.” Reid explained, twisting the bottle cap back onto his half empty water bottle. Fabian nodded, “Your boyfriend didn’t take you?” Fabian asked him. That was a leading question, Spencer had alarm bells ringing in his head the second he heard it. “No. He- um- he met up with us here.” Spencer replied unconvincingly, Fabian obviously did not believe a word he said.

“Well,” Fabian took another step forward, practically blocking Reid in against the back of the food truck, leaning in farther to whisper in Spencer’s ear; “I don’t see him around. So, why don’t you and I get out of here? Hm?”

Spencer wasn’t sure of what to do. He wanted to kick this guy in the crotch and just book it, but he wasn’t sure if his FBI status would protect him in this scenario. He wasn’t sure what could protect him in this scenario.

“Pretty boy! There you are!” A saving grace broke through, and suddenly Fabian was stepping back, and Morgan was walking up.

Thank god, thank fucking god, that’s all Spencer could manage to think as Derek came to stand beside him. “Hey, babe.” Spencer said, cringing at his voice, at what he just said. But that feeling only lasted for a moment as Fabian was still standing right there, staring them both down now.

Spencer could only throw his wish in the sky and hope Derek caught it coming down, ‘please catch along to why I’m calling you babe’ Reid was trying to say.

And Derek caught it, “Hey, baby, was worried about you. Who’s your friend?” He said in his smooth voice, a voice Spencer couldn’t forget. He especially couldn’t forget now, being called ‘baby’ was something Spencer especially could not forget.

“I’m Fabian, you’re Spencer’s boyfriend?” Fabian asked, as if them both calling each other ‘babe’ counted for nothing. “Yeah, I’m Derek.” Morgan responded simply, sliding his hand around Spencer’s waist as if to prove a point. Fabian just nodded, looking between Spencer and Derek one last time before talking; “Well, it was nice to meet you, I’ve gotta get going. See you.”

And then, he was off, fast walking away from Derek and Reid, escaping the terrible situation he had created. Fabian quickly disappeared into the thick crowd, and by then Spencer had his hand squeezing his water bottle all too tightly- as evident by the terrible crunch sound it made. He was too anxious to let go.

“Hey, are you okay?” Derek asked him softly, pulling his hand away from Spencer’s waist. “Can we find somewhere else- can we go sit down?” Spencer asked him quickly. Reid didn’t want to talk about it right this second, right where it had happened. He wanted to leave, he wanted to leave pride and never come back.

~

Derek didn’t ask a single follow up question as he led Reid away from the food trucks, taking him back towards the vendors stands, and then a bit further back, into the normal-not-so-pride-parade-filled park area. Somewhere less stressful, less scary.

“What did that guy want?” Derek asked Spencer casually as they made their way towards a bench that was sat under a large oak tree. Spencer didn’t speak right away, instead he waited until they were seated to start talking.

“He was trying to flirt, but then he wanted me to leave with him.” Spencer explained as he took a deep breath in, just being away from all the loud sounds and sights was helping him calm down. Derek rubbed Spencer’s back in slow, circular motions as Spencer kept talking.

“He was a classic example of a narcissistic personality, it just made me so uncomfortable- he invaded my space.”

“He was a creep, Reid. Simple as that,” Derek kept rubbing Spencer’s back slowly, Spencer nodded. “I know. Sorry, it shook me up.” Spencer attempted to apologized, and Derek was immediately having none of that.

“Reid, no. Don’t apologize for that, don’t you dare. He was a creep, I’m sorry you got caught up with him. It’s okay if you’re shaken up. We can stay here until you feel up to going back, or we can leave. But I’m not leaving you.”

~

And so they sat for a good amount of time on that park bench, at one point Derek stopped rubbing Spencer’s back, instead just keeping his arm stretched out against the back of the bench and against Spencer’s back. Spencer loved it, but he knew if he thought about it for too long he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking. That was his biggest problem, he couldn’t stop thinking.

He had to know, he decided, he couldn’t just wonder why Derek was on the committee for PFLAG. He wanted to know, he had to.

“Derek?” He spoke up softly, sounds of laughing and shouting and music were still heard in the distance, but they were safe from the sounds under the tree. “Mhm?” Derek hummed in response, looking up at the aforementioned tree that was providing shade for them.

His eyes were tracing the way the branches curved and bent around each other, it was something he did to pass the time. Spencer thought he was extraordinary for it, Derek loved to see where things went; he was curious- after all these years, and all the bad they had seen together, Derek still loved to search and find the beauty.

“Why are you on the PFLAG committee ?” Spencer asked him, it was thankfully an innocuous enough ask to not draw too much of Derek profilings side out to pry apart his question. Derek shrugged, and was quiet for a second before responding, “I know what it’s like to be a scared kid, unsure of his identity. If I can help someone through that, that’s all that matters. Same reason I’m in the BAU, to help people.”

Spencer stayed quiet, Derek’s reason was so sincere and so sweet and kind- and only driving him to think further. Was Derek still unsure of his identity? Was he an ally? Why did he have to make Spencer swoon so hard without even trying?

“So, you’re just an ally?” Spencer approached Derek carefully with that question, not wanting to impose or be rude- but just feign simple curiosity, praying Derek wasn’t using his profiling skills right now to decode Spencer’s fake motive.

Derek didn’t notice, thankfully, as he chuckled lowly in response; “No, pretty boy, I’m bisexual. I don’t really tell the team, but it’s not confidential information. Plus, Garcia found Grindr on my phone. Can’t hide anything from that girl.”

Spencer nodded, mumbling something in response about how Garcia had hacked his email to make sure he was free for pride. And then, the two fell into silence again. But it didn’t last for long, because Derek wanted to know just as much, why was Spencer here?

“What about you, Reid?” Derek asked him cautiously, the way you approach a puppy you find on the side of the road. Calm and slow, trying to get him to trust him bit by bit. “What about me?” Spencer asked, not wanting to answer anything about himself unless Derek was specific.

“Are you an ally?” Morgan asked him, leaving the question open ended. Spencer could say as little or as much as he wanted. This is how you get him to open up, Derek knew that for a fact. “Um.. yeah, I mean- who isn’t? I just- I have to be. I’m.. gay.” Spencer admitted all too awkwardly, not at all in a normal fashion. But nothing about Spencer was in normal fashion.

Derek nodded slowly, not responding as he stared back up, tracing his eyes over the tree branches yet again.

~

A few hours had passed, Spencer and Derek eventually left their peaceful bench under the large oak tree, and instead moved back towards the parking lot.

“Garcia’s got a ride home already- I think she got that drag queen to get her home.” Derek explained as they approached his truck, Spencer nodded as he followed Derek. “Anyways,” Derek continued speaking, “I can give you a ride home. Let’s get going.”

“You don’t have to-“ Spencer started, Derek immediately shut him down. “I want to, c’mon. It’s late, you’re tired. I know you are. Let me take you home.” Spencer just nodded in agreement, he couldn’t argue with Derek, even if he did try. Morgan was a stubborn man.

So, Spencer followed Derek into his truck, and they sat in comfortable silence as they started on their journey back to Spencer’s safe space, his apartment.

~

By the time Derek pulled his truck into the apartments parking lot, Spencer knew something was just the slightest bit wrong. Derek had barely spoken for the entire ride, and usually he loves to say something, to make Spencer smile or laugh, or even just nod and mumble in agreement. But he had done none of that on the way to Spencers.

“Are you alright?” Spencer asked, turning to face Derek as he put the vehicle in park. Derek didn’t meet his eyes, staring at the steering wheel instead as he spoke; “Yeah. Sorry. I’m just thinking.”

“About what?” Spencer pried, absentmindedly unbuckling his seatbelt as he spoke, “About today.” Derek said, not explaining further. “Was today bad?”

Derek shook his head, “No. It started weird, it’s ending pretty good, though. But I’m gonna regret today forever if I don’t do something right now.”

Now, Spencer was confused. Not sure at all what Derek could be talking about, “What do you mean?” He asked, voice quieter than before.

Derek said nothing as he unbuckled his own seatbelt, turning to face Spencer as well, and then he leaned in- closer than they had ever been before. Their noses were almost touching, and Spencer didn’t move. Instead, he watched Derek’s eyes expectantly.

Then, Derek broke through, they were no longer intersecting each other’s personal space- now they were fully destroying each other’s atmospheres. Derek’s lips were on Spencer’s, a chaste, soft, quick kiss- something Spencer would have wanted to go for a lot longer. But then, he pulled away just as fast.

“...That’s what I meant..” He mumbled after a second, looking back towards the steering wheel, looking away from Spencer- and more importantly, not seeing the smile on Spencer’s face.

Spencer couldn’t help it. He knew it was terrible to be smiling right now- he should jump and say something to fix what was happening. But he had to smile, he couldn’t believe that had actually just happened, his brain was still computing and re-circuiting, trying to savor the memory and not forget how Derek’s lips felt against his.

Spencer dragged himself out of his own head quickly, though. He did all he could think of to do in the moment, get Derek back. “Morgan.” Spencer said, tugging on Derek’s sleeve as he did so, forcing him to look back at Spencer and meet his eyes again.

But Spencer didn’t say anything, and he didn’t give Derek the chance to speak, either. Instead, he leant forward, pressing his lips against Derek’s. This is all he had wanted to know for the longest time, and now he had it.

~

Maybe pride wasn’t so bad after all, you just have to be with the right people for it to work out.

———————————————————————

[makeste]

Do you think Deku will ever get mad at All-Might for keeping so many secrets from him? Deku has been giving All-Might free passes on things he should have known about like AFO, previous holders of OFA and now that Tomura is Nana's grandson. It feels like AM needs to be held accountable at some point.

I think it’s likely; he’s gotten fairly mad at him about this before, back when All Might hid the truth about his falling-out with Nighteye.

and he’s probably going to feel a bit betrayed at the realization that All Might is still keeping things from him even after this conversation. and it’s not like it’s just small things, either; these are some pretty major things that Deku is still getting blindsided by as a result of All Might’s secrecy. it feels like AM hasn’t really learned his lesson at all and is still Dumbledoring his way through this mentorship.

but the thing is, I can understand All Might’s point of view here as well, and I get why he keeps doing it, even if I don’t agree with it. I’ve been meaning to write a post about this anyway, especially since it ties into the matter of the Fourth OFA User and his quirk, so let’s take a look at All Might’s ever-growing List of Secrets, because there’s a pattern there.

1. OFA

starting with the big one. now obviously Deku is very much in on this particular secret. however it is still a secret from just about everyone else, and it’s probably the one secret that All Might has been the most adamant about keeping, going to increasingly elaborate lengths even as it becomes more and more obvious that all of these efforts are eventually going to prove futile.

the thing is, it’s pretty obvious why he’s been trying so hard to keep the truth of Deku’s quirk hidden. OFA paints a huge target onto Deku’s back, one that would attract notice not just from the villain side, but from the hero side as well. OFA is basically the ultimate prize. it’s probably the most powerful quirk in existence, aside from AFO. and once word gets out that this power can be passed on to literally anyone simply at will, things could start getting very ugly.

Deku would suddenly come under pressure from all sides, with people trying to use and control him (well, I say “people”, but mainly I mean the HPSC sob). that’s if they see him as a useful tool and a weapon in the battle against the League, mind you. but if they decide that he’s not, or that he’s not ready, there would instead be pressure for him to give up OFA to a “worthier” candidate. either way, Deku himself isn’t going to be taken into account. his thoughts, his feelings, what he wants, what he deserves; none of that is going to matter to these people.

and these are the good guys, mind! that’s not even mentioning the villains, who have already destroyed an entire city in pursuit of him. Deku is in a lot of danger now. and so far, Tomura/AFO have been surprisingly honorable in their attempts to get ahold of OFA, in that they’ve been targeting Deku directly. but AFO is a notoriously underhanded guy, and it concerns me that there are a ton of more underhanded methods still on the table for him to try out. because we’ve already established that Deku is notoriously self-sacrificing. I mean literally notorious, as in both his friends and enemies alike have all picked up on this trait and made a note of it. so imagine if Tomura ever decides to take hostages, for instance. “give me OFA or I’ll kill so and so.” then what?? jesus.

so yeah, all in all it’s pretty clear why All Might has been exceedingly careful about keeping OFA a secret even from most of Deku’s allies. this isn’t even getting into the whole U.A. traitor thing as well, but I mean, you get the idea, right? the reason All Might has gone to such lengths to keep OFA a secret is to protect Deku.

2. AFO

and now we get to the first of many things that All Might kept hidden from Deku himself! and these are generally going to be a lot harder to defend. like yeah, you probably should have told this barely-pubescent child that that the quirk you were giving him came prepackaged with a built-in mortal enemy, All Might. might want to actually lead with that part next time.

so why didn’t he tell Deku about AFO? well first of all please understand that I’m not trying to justify this decision, lol; I’m just trying to rationalize it from All Might’s point of view. he was less than six years removed from his fateful battle with AFO in which the both of them were gravely injured. and yes, he said that he believed AFO had died from his wounds; but if he really thought that was true, why didn’t he listen to Nighteye and pass OFA on to someone else back then? why did he stubbornly stay in the field for as long as he could? his actions just don’t line up. if he really thought AFO was dead, you’d think he would have been able to retire in peace, as there wouldn’t have been such a great need for the Symbol anymore.

so honestly, what I’m learning towards here is that he didn’t really believe it, deep down. but once his powers really started to wane, he felt like he had no choice but to pass the quirk on to someone else and just hope for the best. and then, once he met Deku, I think he really started to want to believe it was true. because he empathized with Deku and he saw himself in him, and he wanted to give him that chance. Deku wanted so badly to be a hero, and All Might saw that he had the heart and the spirit of one, and only lacked the physical ability. and there All Might was, with a quirk he could bestow on him that could potentially make his dream come true. he wanted to believe he could do that. he convinced himself that the threat of AFO really was nonexistent -- after all, it had been six years! -- and that it wasn’t a burden he was passing down onto this child anymore, but a gift.

and so he didn’t tell Deku about AFO because he wanted to believe it wasn’t something Deku needed to know. so in this case it wasn’t just Deku he was essentially lying to, but himself as well. so yeah, not the best rationale in the world, but a very human mistake for him to make, and one that once again has its roots in wanting to protect Deku. or more precisely in this case, wanting to protect Deku’s dream. he wanted to believe it was all right for him to hand down this power which he so strongly believed that Deku deserved.

3. the Vestiges

honestly it’s a bit up in the air whether or not this one was really a secret, because All Might genuinely didn’t seem to realize that the Vestiges were conscious inside of OFA. or so he says at any rate. regardless, I’m going to include it in the list because he was definitely acting pretty cagey about the subject back during the sports festival, and I’ve never been fully satisfied with his explanation.

if you ask me? I think one of the reasons why he didn’t want to discuss this more in depth with Deku back then was because he was afraid it might inadvertently lead to some other topics that he wasn’t yet ready to discuss.

the idea of the previous OFA users living on inside the quirk is comforting in some ways, but that’s also a conversation that inevitably leads to the subject of AFO and AFO’s brother just for starters. not to mention Nana, whose death was deeply traumatizing for him and which I don’t think he was emotionally prepared to bring up just yet.

but I think the biggest factor that led to All Might being mum about this was the fact that he himself was included among the Vestiges. because I’m thinking he might have been a bit paranoid about avoiding a conversation like this:

All Might: “hey Midoriya-shounen, I just wanted to let you know that those weird little shadow figures you saw during your fight were the ghosts of the previous users of OFA, who are all living on inside of the quirk. my master once told me, 'even if I die one of these days, we can always meet again inside One for All.' so you know, that’s nice.”

Deku: “huh okay, so you’re telling me I have the souls of eight other people trapped inside my quirk, well that’s pretty trippy but I’m a weird little boy who lives for this kind of wild quirk shit so I’m okay with it! but it’s not like it matters though anyway since you’re still here to guide me haha! it’s not like you have any reason to suspect that might not be the case in the very near future, right?”

All Might: “...right.”

so yeah. once again, the reason for All Might keeping this a secret is because he doesn’t want to burden Deku. spoiler alert, the next two secrets also have the exact same reasoning behind them. in fact I’m just going to go and lump them both together.

4. Sir Nighteye, and 5. Sir Nighteye’s prophecy

so #4 is the one that actually finally set Deku off in the scene I posted earlier lol. and yeah, All Might should have told Deku, especially since it was inevitable that Deku was going to find out anyway. once he learned about Nighteye and All Might’s falling-out, him finding out about the prophecy was a given. and so once again I want to stress that I’m not actually trying to defend All Might’s decision here lol. just trying to relate to it.

anyway but that said, the reason why he didn’t tell Deku is pretty straightforward: he didn’t want to burden Deku with that knowledge. he knows Deku looks up to him. he knows that Deku looks to him for support. and All Might has spent his entire career doing everything he could to be that strong support for everybody, for the entire nation. he wants everyone to feel secure and safe. he wants nothing more than to be able to keep them safe. and it’s so hard, when you have that mindset, to let yourself show weakness and allow the cracks to show and to admit and accept that you can’t protect people from everything, no matter how bad you want to.

how do you tell the kid you’re mentoring, the kid who’s come to depend on you for so much, that there’s a good chance you might not be around much longer? that there’s a good chance he’ll be left to deal with everything all on his own, the same way that you were? how the hell do you even begin to approach that conversation? especially knowing what kind of person Deku is, on top of everything else. for a hero, someone who’s dedicated their whole life to helping and protecting others, nothing is more devastating than being told that something terrible is going to happen, and that no matter what, there is nothing you can do to change that fate. that alone would have been reason enough to not want Deku to know. he didn’t want him to experience that kind of helplessness.

and Deku is still just a kid!! Nighteye, a fully grown man and a hero with years of experience, completely fell apart after that prophecy. meanwhile Deku just started hero school less than a year ago. he’s only sixteen. he is far, far too young to have to deal with all of this. yes, he needed to know, both as a matter of trust and as a matter of practicality. but the fact that he needed to know is pretty fucking cruel on the universe’s part, and I get why All Might was so reluctant to tell him. I get it.

side note!! I feel like it’s worth mentioning that this one is still a secret as far as a certain other person goes. like, I feel that’s pretty noteworthy. pretty much every other person who knows about OFA also knew about Nighteye’s prophecy, including Rat Principal, Recovery Girl, Gran Torino, and Nighteye himself. (although it’s not clear whether or not Naomasa knows, come to think of it. but it’s likely, since All Might probably physically can’t lie to him lol.) and of course, Deku now knows as well.

but aside from Naomasa, there is one other person who’s notably missing from that list.

Kacchan knows about OFA and AFO, but neither All Might nor Deku have told him about the prophecy. even though Katsuki has firmly elbowed his way into the OFA Scooby Squad and knows about all sorts of other things including SIXQUIRKS and the Vestiges and all that jazz, and he’s been helping Deku train and has been included in pretty much everything for months now, he still doesn’t know about this.

and honestly, this might be the one time where I actually agree with All Might’s decision. I say that as someone who loves Katsuki to pieces and very much wants him to find out about this, because I’m mean and because I love angst. but once again, I get it, though. because you probably don’t want to tell the kid who was thinking this...

...that at the time, when you came to save him back at Kamino, you were thinking something like this:

yeah. I’m just saying. I don’t think it does Katsuki much benefit to know that All Might originally went out to Kamino fully expecting that it would be his last battle, and fully prepared to die the horrible death that Nighteye foretold. like, on the one hand there’s definitely an argument to be made that Katsuki should know about the prophecy just so that he’s prepared in case anything does happen, because he would then be the one to have to step up and replace All Might as Deku’s primary support. (and this is something All Might already seems to have been grooming him for in recent months, which is a bit of a red flag as far as All Might’s mortality prospects are concerned, but that’s another discussion for another day.)

but on the other hand, Katsuki is a pretty smart kid. and if and when he does find out about this, there’s a good chance he’s going to connect the dots and realize that Kamino was actually a hell of a lot riskier than All Might ever let on. and there’s close to a 100% chance that he starts blaming himself all over again if he ever learns that. I don’t think it would set him back too much, because he’s made a lot of progress, but I do think that even now it’s still something that he feels a lot of responsibility for. and so really this is just an additional burden that he doesn’t need to be carrying on his shoulders. Deku’s not the only one who’s still just a kid.

anyway! so tl;dr this is yet another case where All Might was keeping something a secret because he didn’t want to burden Deku. and is, in fact, STILL keeping it secret from Katsuki because he doesn’t want to burden him, either. basically just trying to protect both of these kids here.

6. Nana’s relation to Tomura

almost done with the list now! for real though, it’s crazy how many of these there are. how can one man have so many secrets. like seriously, calm the fuck down, All Might.

so! again, Deku should arguably have been told this as soon as it became clear that the responsibility of dealing with AFO and Tomura was going to fall to him. except, I guess, the thing is they didn’t think it was going to fall to him. or at least they hoped it wouldn’t. AFO was in Tartarus, and Naomasa and Gran were planning on hunting down Tomura and the League themselves. and Deku is just a high school kid with an internship. so in an ideal world, he would have never gotten near Tomura, and vice-versa. the adult heroes in BnHA may be inept as fuck, but I’ll give them credit where due: none of them wanted this kind of responsibility to ever fall on any of the kids until they were ready. even during this arc, the kids were all originally assigned to the evacuation teams, and the handful who were on the front lines were there because it was essential to the mission. and even then they pretty much had assigned babysitters (Midnight, Fatgum, etc.) shadowing them the whole time and ready to haul them back out as soon as their tasks were accomplished. like, don’t get me wrong, the child soldiers thing was and is still very fucked up, lol. but they were clearly trying to keep them out of harm’s way.

anyway! and so of course this applies to Deku as well. never mind that he’s All Might’s heir and well on his way to becoming more powerful than anyone could have ever dreamed. he’s still just a teenager. and we don’t send teenagers out to hunt the bad guys. we leave that to the adults, supposedly. and so in these guys’ minds, there really wasn’t any reason to tell Deku about the whole Nana/Tomura connection, because even if it was true, in their minds it’s not really relevant to Deku. they weren’t planning on him and Tomura becoming arch-nemeses. and so it was really just another thing that All Might presumably didn’t want to burden him with at the end of the day. “by the way, Midoriya-shounen, you should know there’s a possibility that Shigaraki Tomura is actually the grandson of my late mentor whom All for One killed.” that’s basically just a very unfun fact that Deku can do absolutely nothing about, except feel bad about it. it doesn’t change the fact that Tomura is still a mass murderer who’s eventually going to have to be captured or killed. so in All Might’s mind there’s really no benefit to telling Deku about any of this.

anyway! and so now finally, last but not least,

7. the Fourth OFA User

so now we finally get to the one secret we don’t actually know yet! OFA IV, and his whole mysterious deal.

All Might, after doing all that research on the previous OFA users and their quirks, suddenly changed his mind at the last second and decided not to tell Deku about this one specific user and his quirk (and notably, his cause of death). why is that?? “I don’t want to speculate and talk about things I’m not sure of...” really?? so you think the better option is for him to be unprepared and to not have any idea of what’s coming, then??

no, seriously. I’m seriously asking that. does All Might, in fact, think that it’s actually a better option for Deku to not know anything about the fourth user than for him to be aware of it. I am genuinely asking that question, because I truly suspect that this might actually be the case.

because, you see, that’s the pattern. if you look at all the other things he’s kept hidden either from Deku, or from others on Deku’s behalf, that’s the one thing they all have in common. he kept them secret in order to protect Deku. either to shelter him from the burden, or to keep him safe from people who might try to do him harm.

so I think it’s safe to say that even though we know absolutely nothing about this particular secret yet, it’s still going to follow that same pattern. All Might isn’t telling Deku about the Fourth yet either because he doesn’t want to burden him with something, or because he thinks there’s some other reason why Deku is better off not knowing.

here are a few other things we can extrapolate here:

All Might’s next line after this is “because I’m worried for him”, so yeah. whatever the reason, he’s trying to protect Deku somehow.

All Might has a history of avoiding truths he’s not ready to face yet, such as AFO still being alive. so even though he says here that he’s “not sure of” whatever it is he found, it’s very possible that he is in fact pretty sure of it, but just doesn’t want to believe it.

the fact that he wrote something down but then crossed it out would seem to support that as well. he says “not yet”, but I’m definitely not convinced that’s actually the case.

whatever this secret about the fourth user is, it’s something All Might isn’t willing to tell Katsuki either, even though Katsuki specifically presses him about it. this makes me think that it’s not just something shady or unpleasant about the fourth user’s past (like him being a villain for instance), because if it was just something like that, I don’t think he’d be so insistent on hiding it from Katsuki as well. and also that wouldn’t explain why he’s keeping the quirk a secret, especially since he knows Deku is going to manifest it at some point.

so my thinking is that it’s not something about the Fourth’s history, but rather something about his quirk. and after all, the Vestige storyline is mainly about the SIXQUIRKS anyway, so that tracks. and so if it is something related to the Fourth’s quirk, and this something also convinced All Might to hide the Fourth’s cause of death, I think the most likely explanation is that something about the Fourth’s quirk ended up killing him, and All Might fears that this quirk could potentially harm or kill Deku as well.

“but if the Fourth’s quirk is potentially dangerous, then wouldn’t it make more sense to tell Deku about it so that he can be prepared?” well, yeah. definitely it would. unless, of course, All Might has somehow concluded that the danger to Deku is actually GREATER if he knows than if he doesn’t know. in other words, the risk of the quirk manifesting with Deku unaware of what it is, is outweighed by the risk of Deku knowing and manifesting it on purpose.

and this, I think, is where the rest of Katsuki’s conversation with All Might in ch 284 comes into play:

All Might has no doubt observed the same thing himself. and so what I’m thinking is that this must be some kind of super high-risk, high-reward quirk that Deku, if he knew about it, would be tempted to use while battling someone like Tomura, even knowing there was a risk of it hurting or even killing him as well. this is Deku, after all. Deku, who takes himself out of the equation. Deku, who is ALREADY pushing himself to extremes with OFA and has been doing so from the start. Deku, who barring a miracle will be lucky to have even 1/10th of the normal function in his arms when this arc is said and done. and that’s just with normal, everyday OFA and Blackwhip and Float. if you were to go and add some sort of super-self-destruct quirk on top of all that?? jesus christ. they’d be picking up the pieces of what was left of him, probably.

so yeah. if this really does turn out to be the case, and the Fourth’s quirk really is a potential suicide quirk? I could absolutely understand why All Might would keep that hidden from him. once again, it’s all about protecting him and keeping him safe.

and it’s problematic though, for sure! and most likely futile just like all of his other secret-keeping efforts have been. at some point he’s just going to have to start trusting Deku to handle this stuff, and letting him know these things. like it or not, he’s not going to be a kid forever, and Destiny is currently being Thrust Upon Him at a fairly alarming rate! pretending like all of these threats will just magically go away all on their own is not it. if you didn’t want peril lusting over him at every corner then you shouldn’t have chosen a motherfucking Shounen Protag as your motherfucking heir, my dude.

anyway! so those are all of my thoughts about All Might and his secrets. I do think Deku is gonna call him out on it again soon, and I think All Might will be apologetic for not telling him about Tomura and Nana, but I don’t know if it will be enough to finally get him to change his ways and reveal everything else. he is an overprotective dad filled with anxiety over his trouble magnet son and his arm-exploding ways, and it’s a tough position for him to be in, knowing that either way there will be pain that Deku can’t avoid. it’s rough. anyways, maybe I’m too soft, but while I don’t necessarily want him to just keep getting free passes on everything, I kind of hope they don’t rake him over the coals too badly for it either. he means well!! he is doing his best. hopefully they can manage to talk it out, sob.

[shimmershae]

Okay. So I did one of these wish lists last season and got gifted way more than I ever could have anticipated so I thought why not do it again?

Shae’s wish list for Season 11.  

Putting it under a cut because it’s long and rambling.  And it will probably be revised and/or added to whenever the mood strikes me.  

Things I want to see in Season 11:  

 The actual episode.  Why the hell does everything have to be so dark in the literal sense?  

Carol and Daryl to have an epic reunion that will totally blow the reunion in the woods outside of Terminus out of the water.  C’mon.  It really feels like the stage is being set for it and you know Angela loves her callbacks.  What better moment to revisit than this one?  The one where we all just knew these two were embarking on something new (only they didn’t, not in the way we’d hoped)?  Like, it’s a seemingly insurmountable task but I know Norman and Melissa have it in them again.  The real question is:  do the writers?  

Judith and RJ bonding with Aunt Carol and her telling them stories of the old days and all the people they didn’t get to meet.  What better way to foster our nostalgia and make us remember why we fell in love with this show and its characters in the first place?  

More Carol and Dog because those scenes in Diverged were the epitome of precious. 

More Princess.  Princess’s “meet and greets” with all our community members, yes.  But Princess’s first meeting and assessment of Carol and Daryl.  Methinks she’d have something mighty interesting and enlightening to say.  

All this angst for Daryl and Carol eventually building to a head and Kang finally delivering on that “heart to heart” she mentioned what feels like a million and one years ago. 

Aaron and Gracie scenes because Aaron is such a good daddy, ya’ll.  

Rosita continuing to have significant screen time and not having to step back into the shadows just because Maggie is back.

Speaking of, I’m glad Maggie is back.  I really am. For the simple fact that Baby Hershel is the cutest alone.  But I’m not happy that everybody so far seems so ready to just defer to her when they’ve been perfectly fine making it without her.  That is not okay and that shit needs to stop soon-ish.   

Hershel making fast friends with Judith and RJ and Gracie and all the Jabila kids.  They’re the next generation, ya’ll.  I just really need this.  

More Jerry and Nabila, please.  Because I have a special soft spot for my Jabila.  

Jerry and Ezekiel scenes.  Because Jerry is Ezekiel’s person and the truest bond he has on the show.  

Kelly and Lydia striking up a friendship because Kelly’s a sweet cinnamon roll and Lydia is in desperate need of friends.  

More scenes of Lydia, period, and not just her seeking out Negan because they both feel like outcasts.  Lydia was raised in Hell.  Negan wreaked Hell.  It’s different and I don’t appreciate the heavy-handedness of Angela trying to make Negan into something he has no right to be.  Leave him at an antihero if you must persist but stop trying to convince us he’s earned his place as a good guy because he hasn’t.  JDM may have risen to the challenge of making him a much more compelling, shades of gray character these past two seasons, but Negan is still the guy that gleefully bashed Glenn’s head in with a barb-wire wrapped baseball bat and if he’s not going to show remorse about it?  The least he can do is show the common sense not to go out of his way to antagonize Maggie.

Kelly reuniting with Connie and Carol getting to have a hand in doing in.  Some acknowledgment from Connie that she chose to go back into the cave with Magna would be nice but ultimately not necessary because I don’t think Connie blames Carol at all.  

Dog surviving the season unscathed and getting all the cuddles he deserves.  

The not-so-rosy truth about Leah being exposed and Daryl making his choice clear once and for all.  Spoiler alert?  Leah doesn’t even rank.  

I’d love the fake dating/fake marriage trope to be trotted out at the good old Commonwealth with Carol and Daryl because I think it would be so much freaking fun and hey. If Kang is going to continue to give us fanfic (unknown child, a la Rick and Michonne), why not try out a true blue?

Some freaking clue as to why/how Rosita and Father Gabe hooked up.  Like I just don’t get it, especially when you consider Siddiq was RIGHT THERE.  The amount of distrust Rosita and the rest of Team Family had in him back in the early days of their arriving in Alexandria.  I just find it hard to wrap my mind around this relationship when it wasn’t even on the radar pre-time jump. 

That said, Father Gabe did have a great scene with Judith in (what was then) the Season Finale where he gave her a message for Rosita and I did find it touching.  So I dunno, ya’ll.  I could be persuaded.  But not all that easily.  

Some resolution to the whole Virgil thing.  Talk about your random characters in the right place at the right/wrong time.  Him promising his wife flowers every day touched me but come the fuck on. 

More Carol and Lydia scenes and more Carol and Kelly scenes because Carol with these young ladies gives me life.  You know what?  Carol getting to interact with and have friendship with any and all of the ladies gives me life and should be a regular thing.  Like TPTB missed the opportunity of a lifetime having Carol and Michonne sharing all kinds of bonding scenes.  It would have been so poignant to watch them relate to each other over their lost children.  

Can we please get some Commonwealth scenes where the kids of Alexandria learn how to be actual kids?  I mean, not that they aren’t already, but I’d love to see them have the chance to be carefree and have fun.  You know, though, that Jude is definitely going to be a tough little nut to crack, and she’s always going to be keeping one eye open for trouble.

Speaking of Commonwealth, I’d love to see all our faves dolled up, lol.  Yes, it’s a rather shallow wish, but can you imagine Carol in a simple but beautiful dress and Daryl utterly tongue-tied to the point that the kids--Lydia, Judith, and RJ--just start giggling uncontrollably and Carol and Daryl both blush?  Because I can and it is glorious.   

Let the villains villain.  Not everyone needs to be redeemed.  Some people are just too far gone.

You know what?  It’s past time to let Carol in particular unpack some of her trauma and cast it aside so she can move on that future Daryl keeps reminding her they have.  She and Daryl are way overdue for a heart to heart where she just opens up a vein and lets it all flow.  It’s the only way she’s going to be able to heal and move on, IMHO.

Some indication that Rick and Michonne and the Grimes babies and the rest of their family (Carol, Daryl, etc.) are going to be reunited. 

The promise of at least a chance of a happy ending for everyone we’ve watched and loved these last 10+ years.  

There’s more.  There’s always more, lol.  But that’s enough for now.  As I think of things I just really, really need to see?  I’ll come back to this list.  Because hey.  Like I said.  I did one of these for Season 10 and I got way more of them than I ever could have anticipated so.        

[xenia-cenia]

Razor x Fem!Reader - Trust

A/N - I... have been avoiding writing this one, but he and Albedo are the last two before I can finish off the Mondstadt part of this series. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take me as long as the other ones lol

Post writing authors note: only took 2 hours so a lot better than my other ones

Trigger/Content Warnings: Injury, blood mention, slight manga spoilers, kidnapping, human experimentation mention, abusive sibling, food mention

Word Count: 1,552

Request: No

Summary: Ooooh dottore bad... razor good.... its 1am i have school tomorrow pretend this makes sense

---------------------------------------------------------------

You came to him on accident. 

You didn’t mean to stumble into the Wolvendom with blood coating your arm and chased by people who thought of you as nothing more than a Harbingers sister. You hadn’t planned on slipping in the mud and watching with fear in your eyes as your pursuers celebrated their victory. How could you of known that the scream that’d fall from your lips would alert a nearby boy?

Electricity remained in the air as he set his weapon down. He turned to you with a blank expression, “...hurt?”

“Who are you? Do you know what you’ve just done?”

“Hurt.” He pointed at your arm. “I fix.” Razor walked over to you and kneeled, carefully grabbing your arm.

“The Fatui! You’ve just... oh Archons, please help me. I’m so sorry, I got you into this mess and now you’ll be in danger, why did I scream?”

“Fa... tui?” He slightly cocked his head to the side.

“T-They’re people who want me back. I... I’m the sister of-”

“Family?”

You shook your head violently, “No! Not family!” You sighed, “I’m the sister of one of the harbingers. P-Please, tell me you haven’t heard of Dottore...”

“Dottore. Dottore bad?”

“Very!” 

“You scared Dottore?”

“Yes.”

“Razor protect you from Dottore. Join lupical.”

“Lu...” you echoed, “Are you Razor?”

“Razor is me.”

You looked at the mysterious boy and considered your options; either be found by the fatui and forced to face your brother or... follow the boy who saved your life without knowing you.

“Okay, fine.” You sighed, “I’ll come with you.”

He nodded, “Follow.”

You walked in silence and you noticed kindness in his subtle actions. He would hold branches above your head until you were safely past them or pointed out puddles so you wouldn’t step in them.

Finally, you arrived at an opening. Wolves stalked the exterior, looked at Razor and you, and continued their business.

“Ra... Razor?” You whispered, gripping onto his arm and stepping behind him. “Why did you take me to wolves?”

“Lupical. Family.”

“These are your family?” 

“Yes.”

“Okay.” You nodded, drew out your words as you started to regret your decision to trust him. “Wolf... family. Alrighty. Annnd... I’m here now. This is what I’m doing with my life.”

“Lupical protect Razor. Razor protect Lupical. Razor trust you. You smell nice.”

“I’ve been on the run for multiple weeks. There’s no way I smell nice.”

Razor scrunched his eyebrows as he searched for the right word, “You smell... kind. Razor trust you.” He turned to you and tried to manage a smile though it looked more like a ferocious snarl, “You trust Razor?”

And maybe you were just tired but for some reason, you did. 

It didn’t take long for you to merge with the rest of the wolf pack, though you couldn’t understand their words you learned their body language. 

The pups would run over to you and wouldn’t leave you alone until you pet them behind the ears. You would pick grass and would weave it into a shoddy crown, and each time you gave it to Razor he’d wear it the rest of the day. 

Happy. You were happy. 

Hunting, flower picking, star gazing. It was simple, but it was the best life you could’ve asked for. A life outside of political intrigue, violence, anger, and human test subjects.

A life where you could smile. A life where your shoulders relaxed. A life where you were trusted and you could trust.

Lupical. Family. You would give anything to keep these peaceful days ongoing. 

But, as with every spot of happiness you found, it needed to be crushed. 

Crushed by your older brother and the troops he controlled as he tracked down your location. As he demanded they wait until nightfall to grab you by your arm and drag you back into his clutches.

“Scream and they die.” He had said with a smile. You knew better than to doubt him. 

“Can I...” you tried to blink the tears out of your eyes, “Can I give them a final goodbye gift?”

Dottore rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. You picked grass, quickly weaved it into a shotty flower crown, and lied it on Razor's chest. And just like that, you were gone.

You were halfway to Liyue by the time Razor realized that you were missing. He gripped the flower crown as if his life depended on it, and tried his best to stay calm. To breathe.

His Lupical were quicker to pick up on your disappearance, they whined and hounded him until he finally picked up on it. 

What was he going to do? You trusted him and you’re gone. Razor hadn’t felt this awful since part of his Lupical died in front of him. He didn’t spend much time grieving, however, he dropped right onto your scent.

You walked next to your brother, your eyes locked onto the ground, you were surrounded by trees and there was a cliff behind you. 

“Why, (Y/N), you gave us quite a scare!” He chuckled after hours of pure silence, “3 months and no message. I almost began to think the worst.”

“I bet you wished for it.” You grumbled under your breath.

“What?” He looked at you, “How could you say that? I love you.”

“You never loved me.” You snapped, your fingernails digging into your palms, “You used me. You only want me back so I can’t tell everybody the awful things you do. Dead or alive, it doesn’t matter to you. I’m just here for your appearances.”

“I wanted you back because you’re my fami-”

“Don’t you dare say we’re family. They were my family. They loved me.”

“The-the wolves?” He laughed, “Don’t be absurd! Wolves can’t love you.”

“And why not?” You finally made eye contact with him, “They surely love me more than you.”

He looked at you with a slightly agape mouth, “Surely you hear how ridiculous you sound. You... you need some food. When's the last time you had a whole meal? Is that it? Are you starving? Are you sleep-deprived? What’s making you act like this?”

“I finally found someone who truly cares about me, and you take me away from them! You never want me to be happy. I hate you.” You took a deep breath, “No... hate isn’t strong enough. I despise you.” 

Dottore looked at you with almost seemed like genuine pain. But you knew better. This was the man who’d set scientists to dissect your body if he got bored. This was the man who turned countless children into experiments. 

You hated him. You hated the way he made you doubt yourself. You hated his confident smirk. 

He sighed heavily, “They always did say these teen years were hard... (Y/N), I don’t understand why you’re angry.”

“And that’s the issue! You never understand me. You don’t even try to.”

“Can’t you just listen to me?”

“I have! I’ve listened for years and nothing's ever changed! You take me away from where I’m happy and try to convince me I’m in the wrong for getting upset. You are a terrible brother and even worse person.”

“Ter... oh. Oh, (Y/N), I tried to be reasonable with you.” He shook his head dismissively, “It really is your fault. You forced my hand. You’re going back to Snezhnaya and you’re staying there until you learn your lesson.”

“No, I’m not.” You took a step away from him. “I’ll run. I’ll run each time and I’ll tell everybody what you do.”

He stepped towards you and grabbed your wrist, “If you disappear again, I’ll just be forced to kill all of your... ahem... friends.” 

You bit your lip and tried to keep the tears pooling in your eyes to spill over, “Fine.” You pulled out of his grasp. 

“Are you finally going to listen to me?”

You turned around and looked over the edge of the cliff. A flash of white caught your attention. You smiled to yourself, turned around, and let the tears fall. 

With outstretched arms, a huge smile, and a torrent of tears, you spoke, “I’ll always run from you.” You stood on the edge and let your body fall.

Dottore ran to the edge and grabbed at your clothes, missing by mere inches. He looked over the cliff in fear as he watched you fall through the branches of trees. 

He sighed to himself and tried to contain his frustration. “Damn brat.” He turned to his troops who took the time of your argument to rest, “We continue on. (Y/N) is dead.”

In the tree, Razor looked at you in relief as you sat in his arms. “Safe?”

“Safe.” You replied with a laugh as you hugged him as best as you could considering he was holding you. “He won’t... he won’t bother us anymore.”

“Dottore? Dottore hurt you? Razor not protect.”

You pulled back from the hug, “You saved me.”

He blinked, “Razor... save? You are safe... Razor save...”

You pulled him down by his collar and kissed his cheek, “I love you.”

His cheeks turned bright red. “Love... Razor love... Razor love you.”

You giggled as you pulled him into another kiss, happy to be free from your brother and in Razor's arms. 

“I love you,” you whispered again, “I love you so much.”

[beevean]

SEGA and its most recent Sonamy side – more canon than ever

[Translator’s note: this article was originally written in Spanish by @latin-dr-robotnik​]

Hello again! Today we’d like to discuss about something that’s been happening recently, and probably taking Sonic fans by surprise: what is going on with SEGA and its stance about Sonamy?

At the beginning of this year, to celebrate the 200 articles on Seaside Hill Paradise, I finished what I call “the Sonamy trilogy” of articles that I started in 2018 and which cover different themes, such as:

SEGA and the eternal issue of the Sonic-Amy dynamic

“I love you” – Forbidden words in Sonic

SEGA and the eternal issue of “Sonic’s girlfriend”

The idea was to offer a more-or-less complete analysis about the many facets of their dynamic in the last 27 years; a dynamic that, you may have noticed, is not that easy to pin down, and that we’ve been updating almost regularly (although I also intended to investigate on other dynamics, like Knuckles and Rouge’s for example, and write about them). Generally speaking, in these articles I don’t draw objective conclusions about the status of the ship in canon (despite the fact that the available information tends to confirm it in various occasions). I also like to repeat myself and say that shipping is supposed to be for fun, not for tearing each other’s hair in that black hole of misery that is Twitter, but recent events left us slightly perplexed, and this is why we’re here once again.

We left the status of the Sonamy canonicity with these two peculiar instances back in August: Sonic mentioning his “girlfriend” in the Japanese version of Sonic Battle, and the Twitter account of SEGA of Europe saying Sonamy is their “favorite videogame romance”. Now, let’s recap a bit…

Sonamy in Sonic IDW... Round 3

[SPOILERS ALERT FOR IDW SONIC #14-#35]

In 2018, when IDW just started, I decided to study a little how the Sonamy dynamic worked in this new universe. To our surprise, the comic didn’t waste time in dropping its biggest bomb, in one of the cutest scenes we had seen in ages. Since the very beginning, IDW proved that it didn’t intend to deceive those fans that looked for a bit of development of both characters.

I wrote an article about it in June 2019, and it coincided with the beginning of one of the most infamous arc I’ve seen in a Sonic comic for a long time: the Metal Virus Saga. The question is, what has happened since then?

Well, in 2019, with the same accuracy of an aimbot, I said “We’ll probably see some new interactions between Sonic and Amy sometime around IDW #20”. And wouldn’t you know, as misery and tragedy settled in that arc, it was exactly around IDW #20 that we saw some Sonamy interactions: both exhausted, to their limit, with a Sonic that couldn’t even touch Amy to soothe her pain, due to him being infected with the virus.

The arc developed like this in what felt like an eternity, to finally conclude in one the most absurd ways in Sonic history. But it wasn’t a complete disappointment, as, after months and months of asking and discussing on the internet about how much Sonic and Amy deserved a hug at the end of the arc… it actually happened.

Since that moment in IDW #32, we shippers thought that it was what both of them deserved after so much time spent separated and pushed to their limit to survive, but also that after the end of the arc everything would go back to normal. However, what we didn’t know was that the Sonamy train had no intention of stopping, not in IDW, nor anywhere else.

A recurring detail in IDW Sonic is that Amy’s tail starts wagging every time she sees Sonic, as if she was a happy dog. I swear, it happens every time.

Come IDW #35, once again we have some hugs and bits of dialogue between our hedgehogs. For sure, the question here isn’t their relationship itself, as it was for IDW #2, but rather the issues this arc is slowly dealing with. But it’s really nice to see them again, sharing that closeness that they’ve had in the comic since the beginning– be it with some gestures of affection, a wink, a gesture, a private joke.

My favorite image is the first one, Belle’s reaction to seeing Amy hugging Sonic. It’s like she’s thinking “oh, is she his girlfriend?”, and she wouldn’t even be wrong in thinking that.

It can’t be denied that IDW Sonic provided us the conversations and the emotions that the games seldom do. Certainly, the comic has its share of issues and it’s not really a story that I personally follow for its own merits (it’s more because it’s still Sonic, for my interest for things like this, and Belle’s existence… whom I already ship with Tails, sorry not sorry), but what it does well it does really well.

For now, we have to see how IDW Sonic will follow the development of the characters, especially in view of the closure of the current story and beyond. And we may be done with this part of the article, but there is still a lot left.

Sonamy in merchandise

Taking us completely by surprise, recently SEGA launched, in collaboration with Hot Topic, a series of Sonamy-themed t-shirts. No, seriously.

So many people told me this as soon as the voice spread (you know who you are, thank you guys for thinking about me <3), and I can’t help being still surprised that this is actually a thing. T-shirts with lines like “You’re my favorite”, “Love in the fast lane”, and my personal favorite, “S&A Forever”, with drawings of Classic Sonic and Amy… in SEGA-approved products. I don’t know if you realize how much of a big deal this is, even more than “Celebrate the 25 years of Sonic’s girlfriend” from 2018.

One of the things that surprised me the most (aside from how explicit they are in officializing the relationship, and the fact that there are still 2 months left before Valentine’s Day 2021), was the decision to use Classic Sonic and Classic Amy. I tried to understand this decision by analyzing the simplicity and easiness with which the Classic designs convey a message (let’s not forget that Classic Sonic was so iconic because it was specifically designed to convey his expressions without words), besides the fact that they’re inherently cuter than their modern designs. There’s also the controversial aspect of post-Adventure Sonamy, with all the dubbing and weird interpretations that the fandom made over the years… By comparison, the Classic design are a much simpler choice.

What is actually going on?

Well, let’s take a step back and think about what we just saw. The way SEGA has been recently trying to push Sonic and Amy in front view (and for the entirety of 2020, based on the articles I mentioned in the beginning) tells us the harsh truth we all have to accept sooner or later: Sonamy sells, and it sells a lot.

From a strictly business point of view, the ship is so iconic and popular, with fans and detractors alike, that it would be absurd for SEGA to ignore the chance to print these two characters and get a load of money. As I said in my 2018 article, despite the fact that in Japan Sonic isn’t as big of an icon as it is elsewhere, they know pretty well that Sonic + Amy = love, and they have huge amounts of merchandise to back it up. It’s in the West that because of different cultural values, of which we’ve already talked about, along with some internal resistance, left this aspect of the franchise a little on the side. But they’ve been trying to fix it… and how…

Let’s not forget that a decade and a half ago Sonic Team seriously favored Sonamy. They officially said it, Sonic X was their purest view of Sonic they had at the time.

Outside of the business perspective, I believe we’re facing the moment that we’ve been waiting for: it’s time they’ll establish once and for all the dynamic of these two characters, following more closely the original Japanese vision of Sonic. I said many times that, in trying to change canon, the West, especially SEGA of America, did nothing but confuse fans and generate more discussions than needed, by introducing different data and portrayals that contradict the canon established by Sonic Team.

We’ve talked about Unleashed and emotional support, about Sonic X, about the major moments that opened the door to interpreting this dynamic as something more. We don’t threaten at gunpoint those who would rather stay away, but we respond to those declarations that still try to violently discredit the simple fact that Sonic and Amy, who are most of all close friends, form in some measure a couple that, even with its imposed limitations, manages to captivate fans and not fans everywhere in the world. Even the Simpsons used it as a joke, and that says a lot.

What the future has in store for us.

Unless something else happens in this last month of 2020, this is the most complete compilation I can offer at the moment about the status of Sonamy in the fandom and in the official canon. Yes, canon.

It’s impossible to ignore the signals. As you may have noticed, I’ve been considering Sonic and Amy as an official couple, with its clarifications (for example, that at the end it’s more of a friendship, that it’s not a romantic relationship in the most explicit way, that it’s more of a personal perspective to justify a more mature vision of the relationship in the future, not right now), but nowadays I think that SEGA has spoken loud and clear. I think canon is ready to negotiate the idea that Sonic and Amy, apart from being excellent friends who would risk their lives for each other in a heartbeat, have something else on their hands (probably the other’s hand). This won’t automatically translate into a kiss, or a complete love declaration (although Sonic X came close…), or a commitment to a formal relationship like we know them in real life. SEGA canon affirms that Amy is “Sonic’s girlfriend” and nothing more. Outside of that detail, they still pretty much function as friends interacting with a little flirting here, and a little Sonic running away there. It’s the basis of their dynamic, now enhanced by the fact that SEGA is giving us a clearer message.

I think that this all may culminate in a game or an animated series, but I wouldn’t completely count on that. It is good to recognize how far the official position goes on this issue, but at the same time I want to reaffirm that there are things that are better left in the hands of the fandom, and in the meantime that IDW or any other continuity gives us hugs, winks, gestures and words of encouragement, we as the fandom will take care of exploring other avenues and hypothetical scenarios.

This is all I have to say on the matter for now, and I hope you’re happy with this wonderful Sonamy experience we’re going through – I certainly am. See you next time!

[jasthelazyelf]

All the Obey me! boys discovering MC has kosmemophobia

Turns out I really have to write overly specific scenarios myself, so here I am. This was my first time writing headcanons, it’s more difficult than it looks like, but I managed! It also turned out way longer than I thought it’d be.

Kosmemophobia: a “fear” of jewelry. People with kosmemophobia will either not wear any jewelry at all, or may be comfortable with wearing non-metallic jewelry. Touching or being touched by jewelry makes these people feel somehow dirty (even though we know majority of jewelry is sanitized), uncomfortable, and will make people want to wash that part of their body it touched. People (dare I say mostly afab) usually notice it early on in their childhood. It is not known what makes people kosmemophobic atm, considering people have it since early childhood.

If you have further questions about it, feel welcome to ask. :)

Total word count: 4800-ish 

Gender of MC is not mentioned

Slight season 2 spoiler alert in Simeon’s part

Warning for verbally abusive parents in Belphie’s part

You have been warned.

Lucifer

He wanted to make the shopping trip enjoyable for the both of you, but especially for you

 He just wanted to take you on a date somewhere where his brothers wouldn’t constantly interfere, even if it was only for a few hours

You two were just window shopping at the mall when Lucifer decided to take you into one of the stores

 It was a store with magical items, from stones to a number of different trinkets, including jewelry

Somehow this was the part he was most interested in in the whole shop

Watching him look over it, especially necklaces made you feel uncomfortable and you had a feeling you knew where this was going

With what little hope you had, you subtly tried to nudge him away, but he wouldn’t budge

He finally took one of the necklaces out of the display and turned towards you

"What do you think? Wouldn’t it suit you?“

en he saw your eyes widen and you taking a step back, a shiver running down your spine, he was taken aback. Did he do something?

"Is something wrong? You don’t like it? It’s fine to just say so.“

 Oh well, you would have to tell him one day, right?

"N-no, that’s not exactly it, it’s just that just the thought of wearing jewelry or even touching it is making me uncomfortable. I know it’s weird, but please don’t make me do this…“

Well this he did not expect at all. He put the necklace back and putting one hand around you, he turned you around and moved to a part of the shop with crystals and rocks of all different colours instead

 "I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Let’s look over something else.“

You smiled at him and nodded. You had him curious about this fear of yours, he might have asked later on to give you more details on it.

Whether you are comfortable with sharing information about this with him or not, he respects your fear and does his best not to make you uncomfortable in the future

Mammon

-          Chaotic snuggle boy was all about protecting you and also hugging you, especially when in private where none of his brothers could see

-          It dawned on him pretty quickly that something about you was strange when you sometimes flinched every time he touched your skin

-          It wasn’t every time, and he just couldn’t understand the pattern

-          One day he had had enough, he just couldn’t wrap his head around it, it was driving him absolutely crazy

-          He finally mustered enough courage to ask you

-          "Oi, human, what is it with ya flinchin‘ when I touch ya?“

-          Damn… he noticed after all. You were trying to hide your phobia as much as you could, but you couldn’t help yourself. Well, better come up with the truth now

-          "Hah, w-well it’s not you, I swear. It’s gonna sound weird, but it’s your rings. The feel of them on my skin feels… uncomfortable.“

-          You tried to explain the feeling as best as you could, mostly how touching jewelry just makes you… want to wash your hands and the feeling appears also on other parts on your body

-          First he blinked in surprise, but listened to your explanation

-          Suddenly it all made sense. He only wore his rings on his right hand. You only flinched when he touched your skin with his right hand. How could he not notice this detail sooner?

-          Well, now he knows. He asks you if you’d rather he didn’t wear them near you.

-          If you say you’re going to hopefully get used to it over time, he will keep wearing them, but sometimes takes them off on his own

-          If you state that you’d rather not have to touch them, he will keep in mind to take them off before going for snuggles

-          Doesn’t really think much about it afterwards, he just takes it as a fact

Leviathan

-          Your birthday was getting closer and Leviathan wanted to get you a gift, but didn’t have many ideas

-          So he decided to invite you over to his room to watch some anime and play games, so that he could subtly take the conversation where he wanted and get an idea of what you might be interested in

-          When watching anime, he saw that you really liked the main character

-          Well what a coincidence! He totally imagined you cosplaying the main character and him cosplaying the character’s best friend. Duo cosplays are always the best!

-          "Oh! I once saw a set of their pendants and bracelets as a set on Akuzon! Wouldn’t it be a nice beginning of another cosplay?“

-          Your face completely changed its expression and you tensed when he mentioned it

-          This, of course, didn’t go unnoticed. Was he wrong all along? Did he assume wrongly that you liked the character? Do you actually not like the character at all?

-          Panic intensifies

-          "Oh no, I am sorry, if you don’t like the character, maybe we can cosplay another duo? Forget I said anything about it-“

-          "Levi… calm down, it’s not that I don’t like the character. It’s just the jewelry I am uncomfortable with.“

-          Oh

-          OH

-          Just like- nevermind, even though he probably watched the majority of anime in existence, he couldn’t remember a character who’s trait this would be

-          You tell him it’s okay, it’s a very rare phobia and not even that known

-          May ask a few questions about it and if there is a loophole for it

-          Either way, the idea of getting you jewelry gets thrown out of the window

-          For you birthday, he gets you and him matching hoodies

-          They‘re so soft

Satan

-          That day, Satan invited you on a date to his favourite bookstore

-          You were totally up for it, who knows, maybe you’d find something really interesting

-          Or something that is SO stupid that you just wouldn’t be able to not get it (Yes, I have one such book, I love/hate it so much)

-          He decided to také you to a bookstore you haven’t been to yet. Yay, more adventure! New store layout! So many possibilities!

-          You were browsing through bookshelves, Satan sometimes told about a few books he has in his own room that this bookstore also had

-          Suddenly he spotted someone and got rather excited

-          It turns out it was one of his aquintances and he wanted to introduce them to you. It was an elegant demon, by the looks of it quite rich

-          You were soon told they were one of the best selling authors of the Devildom, with a rather original, but easy to read writing style, which was probably how they got so famous

-          They wanted to shake your hand as a sign of politeness

-          When you saw the massive rings and bracelets on their hand, you gulped and widened your eyes

-          You didn’t want to be impolite, though, so you decided to shake their hand anyway

-          You couldn’t get the feeling of metal out of your hand and you wanted to go to the restroom to wash your hands real quick

-          Satan noticed you were getting tense as you tried to subtly rub your hand with your other hand and ended the conversation smoothly and took you aside

-          "Is there something wrong? Did they hurt you? You can ask for an apology if they did.“

-          You had to smile at this assumption. It warmed your heart to know Satan cared about you

-          "No, it’s just… have you seen all that jewelry? I am not saying they shouldn’t wear it, it’s their choice, but for me that was a living nightmare.“

-          Well he was glad they didn’t hurt you in any way. He was a bit surprised by your explanation and truth be told, he got very curious

-          After you quickly wash your your hands in the nearby restroom, he wants to know more about your phobia.

-          How long do you have it? How much does it affect your life? How did you find the right term? Do you personally know other people with this condition?

-          And so many more. Feel free to tell him there have already been too many questions answered and that you could continue another day in this interview. He’s already thrilled.

Asmodeus

-          You both planned the perfect spa day together

-          After all, who’d know more how to make you completely relaxed, if not Asmo?

-          You end up having lots of fun and you feel SO GOOD and relaxed after you’re all done

-          You hair has never been so very well taken care of, no matter you lenght or type, he probably gives you some useful advice you’ve never heard of yourself, bt it seems to be working, so why not?

-          And your skin is finally properly moisturized

-          All right, what now? Asmo doesn’t want this moment to end yet, he loves hanging out with you and you still had time

-          You end up visiting Majolish and trying on different clothes, even if it’s just for fun. Asmo loves picking out clothes for you and he really does have a good eye for what would suit you

-          You ended up putting on your 20th outfit. Asmo looked at you and thought for a bit. Something was missing.

-          Yes, sure, the outfit was nice and all, but it was missing something… but what?

-          He suddenly got an idea. He ran off for a bit and soon returned with something in his hands

-          When he got cloce to you again, you realized it was a set of small thin elegant bracelet and a metallic necklace to go with it

-          Your blood froze and you started to back away slowly, putting your arms up in defense and shaking your head

-          "What’s wrong? Do you think it’s too much? Maybe even too little?“

-          Before he could run off again for something different that could be to your taste, you quickly stopped him before he could do so

-          "No, wait, the jewelry… is pretty and you’re right it would go well with this outfit. But I am not willing to wear any jewelry. At all. It’s a very rare phobia and I can’t do much with it.“

-          You were surprised this hasn’t come up sooner, but oh well, it happened now

-          Asmo looked a bit disappointed at first, but upon hearing it’s a phobia, his expression softened and he gave you a little smile

-          "O-oh! All right, back this goes, then! The outfit looks good even without it, I just thought it would be a nice touch, that’s all!“

-          You smiled and nodded in acknowledgment

-          He would definitely question you later if it bothered you on others as well and how much. He’ll make a note to himself to wear as little jewelry as possible when spending time with you, depending what you’re comfortable with

Beelzebub

-          You were just meeting everyone in the human world for the first time

-          You were so excited, you had no idea you would ring the bell and Asmo would open the door

-          Everyone started greeting their favourite human like they haven’t seen you in years, when it’s probably been just a few weeks at most

-          These babies

-          Beel wasn’t home at the time, so you decided to surprise him and wanted to make his favourite human world food

-          Luckily, they already had enough ingrediants in the kitchen, so you didn’t have to go shopping as the first thing you’d do

-          Just as you finished, Beel came home. He got very excited to see you again

-          He took off his jacket and- oh no

-          He wanted to hug you, as was his habit even when in the Devildom, but upon seeing that heavy necklace, you had to move up your hands in defence

-          He got confused. Did he sweat too much and stinks now? Did you not like him anymore for whatever reason?

-          The biggest baby made confused puppy eyes, he just wanted to greet you

-          „Ah, I am sorry, could you please take the necklace off? Jewelry and especially jewelry like that makes me uncomfortable when I touch it.“

-          He sighed in relief. You didn’t hate him after all.

-          He quickly ran off, presumably to his room and came back in a minute, now without the chain necklace

-          You smiled happily and opened your arms, an invitation for him to hug and greet you

-          And he sure did!

-          He was just happy he could hug you again without you feeling uneasy about the situation

-          Doesn’t really ask anything else, just in case you’re not okay with talking about it, but he keeps that fact in mind and is now rarely seen with the chain on

Belphegor

-          You were once more taking a nap together. It became a pleasurable habit of yours to join Belphie. After all, you didn’t have to do anything and got some sweet sweet cuddles. What could be better?

-          Well, you finally managed to fall asleep

-          And Belphie got curious about your dreams, so he decided to visit your dream for once.

-          He was really there just to observe, he didn’t want to interfere with anything

-          He wondered what you’d dream about

-          Was it something really sweet? Would you go on an adventure to find the root of youth? Would you be enjoying a swim in a pool? Maybe you’d meet your friends from the human world

-          The posibilities were endless

-          What he didn’t count with, though, was the possibility of you having a nightmare

-          You seemed to be having a fight with two older humans. Maybe they were your parents?

-          You tried to persuade them not to make you wear the massive necklace the woman was holding

-          They had absolutely none of it

-          "Please, just don’t make me wear it. It’s not like it’s mandatory, nothing will really happen if I don’t put it on!“

-          „Nonsense! You need to! We chose this for you before you were even born, how dare you not want to wear it!“

-          "This youth, I swear, what is it that you want?! That it’s not made of silver?! OF GOLD?! Huh? Is that it? Are you really that spoiled?!“

-          "You don’t understand, I wouldn’t wear it even if it was made of the rarest metal ever! Why is it so difficult to understand it!“

-          Belphie was taken aback. He had no idea you were dealing with a struggle like that. When he thought about it, he realized you never wore any jewelry to anything, you always kept it simple with fabric patterns

-          He wondered if this dream was inspired by real life events

-          Why couldn’t some humans understand the boundaries of others was a hard thing for him to grasp

-          He decided to leave the dream and wake up for a bit. He felt you shivering and when he raised his head, he saw a pair of tears running down your cheeks

-          He hugged you tighter and fell asleep again, joining you in your dream

-          You were now alone, angry and upset at your parents

-          He came up to you and started to calm you down. You appreciated it. He couldn’t deny his curiousity and asked about the situation

-          Truns out talking about it helped you calm down more than anything and he spent the rest of the dream with you

Diavolo

-          Diavolo invited you over to hang out

-          He normally doesn’t have much time off, but since he took a liking to you, he managed to persuade Barbatos to give him more free time to be with you

-          Or he just straight up slacks from his work, he doesn’t really care

-          After sitting in the garden for a while and just catching up with each other, you suggested making anouther castle tour

-          Seriously, the castle is huge, you couldn’t fully enjoy it in a day or two, it took a while

-          He hapilly obliged, he knew the whole castle like the back of his hand

-          And there were so many stories connected to different parts of the castle

-          You loved listening to these stories, it was almost like a proffesional castle tour

-          Private, and for free and told by the actual owner

-          By now you at least vaguely remembered some of the more important royals except for Dia, Barbatos and the brothers. Maybe not in detail, but you can at least say you’ve already heard the name before

-          Today he decided to show you the treasury. You were curious what you’d see and if it also held some interesting stories to be told

-          Once the guards let you inside, you found yourself in a huge room with display boxes. Some of them were open

-          Inside the boxes was… jewelry. All different kinds, sizes and colours. You started to look over them

-          You admired the pieces for the fine craftmanship, you really did. Some of them were beautiful and breathtaking

-          Dia saw your awe and wanted you to experience as much as you can

-          "If you want, you can try some of them on, it’s okay.“ He beamed happily

-          You had to laugh a little. You got a bit nervous, but decided to calmly deny his proposition

-          "Don’t get me wrong, there are some beautiful pieces. The composition of some looks really nice! Some look so mild, yet they still say royalty. It’s almost as if it were engraved on them. But I am happy to just admire from aback, wearing jewelry makes my skin crawl. It’s something I’ve been dealing with my whole life.“

-          He nods

-          "That’s perfectly fine, too. I wouldn’t want to make you upset.“

-          He wonders if it is perhaps a common human thing and when you explain it’s extremely rare, he gets excited because he gets to experience something through you that is not common.

-          The rarity of this phobia makes him curious, so he may have some questions, but not as many as Satan

Barbatos

-          OH HE FINALLY GOT A DAY OFF

-          He needed it. He wouldn’t have ever admitted it, but he got slightly clumsier that day, which didn’t go without Diavolo noticing

-          He protested at first, but had to accept his fate anyway, because Diavolo insisted he take the day off

-          You wanted to spend the day in the mall and visit different shops to observe the differences between the Devildom and the Human world

-          You were supposed to write an essay about differences between these two worlds for the Human studies 101 subject

-          Why you had to take THAT class was completely unknown to you, but you attended anyway. I mean come on, those were some easy grades for you, since you were brought up there

-          And so Barbatos joined you on your adventure through the mall

-          Although there were some differences, most of the shops were similar to what you knew

-          Restaurants, cafés, boutiques, wine bars, adult toys stores, book stores, you name it

-          What you didn’t have in the human world was obviously magic tool stores, potion stores and potion igredients stores

-          Barbatos seemed to really enjoy talking about some of the peculiar potions that caught your eye, be it for their vibrant colours or the fact that some seemes to have sparkles in them

-          At last, you managed to come by goldsmith’s. When you saw this shop, you acted like you didn’t and went on your way to a tea house Barbatos suggested visiting after your tour

-          This surprised barbatos, since you spent some time at least writing the name of the shop down to make a note of it, but you weren’t even acknowledging the existence of this one store in particular

-          Once you both got yor tea in the tea house, he couldn’t help but ask why you just did that

-          "Oh, me and jewelry are old enemies. I don’t like wearing or even touching it, I just always want to wash my hands afterwards. I guess it’s sort of like your relationship with rats.“

-          When you mentioned rats, a shiver ran down his spine and immediately understood what you meant. He just took it as a part of you, the person he adored so much and didn’t qestion it any longer

-          He just suggested if you ever needed to vent, he’d be there for you

Solomon

-          You two made plans to bond together in his room in Purgatory Hall after school to let off some steam and vent to each other like human to human

-          This became a semi weekly tradition for you two, you both enjoyed it and you were glad you could relate to another human being

-          You were also staying for dinner that day, luckily for everyone, it was Simeon’s turn to cook

-          Don’t think he didn’t try to swap with him just so he could "impress“ you, though, he totally did

-          You were glad Simeon didn’t budge

-          After eating your meal, you both just flopped onto the couch and just decided to relax a bit

-          In silence

-          He enjoyed these silent moments, the joy of doing nothing together

-          You two soon drifted off to sleep on the couch, so when Simeon was about to tell you it was time to get you back to the House of Lamentation, and found you two asleep next to each other like that, he let Lucifer know you’d be staying the night with them

-          When you woke up and checked your D.D.D. you  almost jumped out of your skin, but then saw the message from Lucifer knowing about your situation through Simeon

-          You decided to scroll through social media, while Solomon was still sleeping

-          He soon woke up when he heard you looking through memes and trying not to laugh. You were failing miserably, though

-          Oh well, what’s done is done, now he is watching you scroll and when you find something funny, you both laugh, but not too loud, to not wake up Luke. It was around 11PM after all

-          Whenever you scrolled past an ad that was advertising jewelry, Solomon noticed you were furrowing your brows every time you found one

-          What’s more, you even hid the ads, hoping you wouldn’t get another one, but they just kept coming

-          You groaned

-          "Do they really bother you that much?“ Solomon asked sleepily

-          "I normally don’t bat an eye when I see an ad, but I do not and have never worn any jewelry, since I have kosmemophobia and touching or wearing it makes me uncomfortable. But even if I keep hiding these, they just keep popping up like they want to change my mind about it. I would much rather have ads for overprized pencil sharpeners.“

-          Well that was something he didn’t know about you. And he couldn’t even say he knew people that had the same problem as you, since he either didn’t notice it or he really just never met anyone like that

-          He asked a few questions about it, since he didn’t know anything about this phobia, and was glad he could learn something new. Even better that it was about you

Simeon

-          You decided to have picnic in a park

-          Not the most private setting but it’d do

-          You were just chatting about your lives, you mostly telling stories from the House of Lamentation, him mostly talking about his ideas for a new story

-          You were his huge inspiration and sometimes he straight up wrote down one of your stories. He assured you he would mention you as a co-author if he ever decided to publish those

-          It was getting rather late, so you packed up, carefully put all the plates and bowls back into the big basket and folded the blanket you’ve been sitting on the whole day

-          When heading back to the Purgatory Hall, he mostly talked about Luke’s different pastries. Just the description made you hyped up and you wondered if he was making something at that moment

-          You know he did. When you got back, your nose was hit with the lovely smell of cinnamon and apples and you couldn’t wait to try whatever he made

-          You had to put the things on their places first, though

-          Simeon asked you to put the basket to its place and you agreed. What you forgot though, was that its place was in a cupboard… too high for you to reach

-          Lucky for you, you knew a few spells and levitation was one of the first ones you purposely learned

-          Once Simeon saw you looking at the cupboard, he wanted to suggest you to take the folding stairs to help you, but you declined

-          "I want to do this alone, I know I can do it.“

-          He smiled and nodded, he knew he couldn’t change your mind

-          First you managed to open the doors and then you carefully levitated the basket to its place. While you were directing it where to go, your mind momentarily lost its concentration at the basket as you stared intensely at the Ring of Light on you hand

-          The name described it perfectly. It was literally a small band made out of pure light hugging one of your fingers. It was othwerwise incorporeal and only visibly showed when you used your magic

-          It took you a second to regain your concentration and you finally put it to its place

-          However, Simeon definitely noticed your momentary loss of composure there

-          "What made your mind wander off so suddenly?“ he asked, genuinly curious

-          "Oh it’s just… I am still not used to seeing the ring on my finger. It’s so weird, it doesn’t feel like anything, it just shines and what’s most surprising, I don’t feel like washing my hands constantly. It’s what would happen with normal jewelry. I am just not used to it, it’ll probably take some time.“

-          Huh! Okay then! He was just glad it wasn’t something you couldn’t handle

-          In all his long life he never met anyone who would openly speak about being disturbed by jewelry, so this was new experience to him

-          Will have questions, but reassures you you don’t have to answer any questions that might make you too uncomfortable

Luke

-          You two were assigned to find some rare herb that was supposed to be growing in the field

-          Fortunately it wasn’t far from Purgatory Hall so even if you somehow got lost, there was a high chance of actually finding your way back

-          While you were at it, you took it as the perfect time to bond with the young angel

-          So while you were searching, you both started weaving flower crowns

-          It was a fun activity and you even got to tell each other stories

-          You were reminiscing about the time you learned how to weave flower crowns and Luke was telling you things about the Celestial Realm and Michael

-          Once you were both finished, you put on each other’s flower crown and continued looking for the herb

-          Somehow it didn’t take too long for the two of you to find it

-          When you were picking it up, you flower crown fell from your head, but you managed to catch it… and not break it

-          Luke almost shrieked, but sighed in relief that nothing happened to it

-          "I have an idea, what if I transform these to not wilt! You know, like real crowns!“

-          With the mention of that, you just had to ask this question

-          "What would they then be out of, though? Metal? Plastic?“

-          He didn’t understand the intention of your question, so he straight up asked what you meant by that question

-          "Ah, excuse me, I’ll explain. I am kosmemophobic and especially metal jewelry makes me uncomfortable. I they were ot of plastic, though, I wouldn’t mind.“

-          Oh, well that explains it. He reassured you they would feel like out of resin, so you didn’t have to worry at all

-          Now you both have matching flower crowns and you can always remember Luke when you look at it

[spencstan]

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i-

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

i-

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

NO

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

[bloody-hearts-lane]

How the Slashers Would: Play Among Us

sorry it has taken me approximately a million years to start writing again! i hope the stuff i have in store might make up for it. but to kick it off, something a little bit goofy. c:

Amanda Young

rating: 9/10, upsettingly good.

she probably mains red or black.

amanda is a menace in this game. shes the kind of player that, no matter how good you or anyone else is, you can NEVER tell if she's the imposter or not.

she's just so good at hiding it! half the time, she absolutely carries her imposter team, and you never even know.

she always kills you last, though, if she has to kill you at all. so thats nice, i guess–

she really enjoys setting up games so every aspect can be exactly the way she wants it. she also prefers playing in one imposter games, because she thinks its more challenging that way.

Billy Loomis

rating: 8/10, so..... suspicious.

for SURE mains black.

he's the kind of player who can pull of the weirdest, most confusing series of kills. probably shockingly good at setting up and executing stack kills. how?? how does he do it so smoothly????

he's usually pretty okay at hiding that he's the imposter.

but he will loudly complain if he doesn't get imposter often enough for his liking. he will also get personally offended if you (or stu, or both) get imposter a lot in one game, and he doesn't.

when you get a round where the imposters are really bad, no matter what the reason could be, he critiques the hell out of them and complains about how they are no fun to play with.

he loves when the two of you are an imposter team. even better, on bigger maps, he loves when you, him, and stu are all imposters. it happens rarely, but its his favorite thing.

you know he's considering killing you when he gets weirdly quiet in the middle of a round. just stay away from the vents, you might be fine.

Stu Macher

rating: 7/10, very fun, very chaotic.

never has a main color. switches it up every round. he also likes to wear the pumpkin on his head, or the fried egg.

stu is a good talker, so a lot of the time, he manages to talk his way out of being voted off. you've even seen him manage to talk his way out of being voted off when someone saw him kill another player in front of them.

he's considerably more chaotic than billy, so his kills aren't as smooth, but he has an unnatural knack for knowing when people are alone and taking them out.

he brings a lot of energy to games.

even when you play with him, you make it your number one goal to never be alone with him in a room, just in case.

he assures you that he would never kill you!! (spoiler alert, he won't, until he cant get anyone else alone and he asks you to come watch him do a visual task, only to kill you and win the game. how rude, stu.)

Bo Sinclair

rating: 3/10, girl..... calm down.

feels like a dark blue main.

have you ever seen someone rage quit among us? you're about to!

has a bad habit of getting aggressive in chat, so people tend to vote him pretty quickly even if he isn't imposter.

he fully exits the game the second his poor little character gets shot into space, and then you get to hear about how stupid everyone is while he watches you play over your shoulder.

to be fair, he was usually correct about who the imposter was, so he is a LITTLE justified about being angry, but. homeboy has some Anger Issues and the rage is very real.

as the imposter, he's usually pretty good at not getting caught.... until someone asks what he's been doing or where he was, and he gets a little too defensive.

you can see it coming from a mile away, and if you don't want to hear about him losing for the next three hours, feel free to tell everyone he's been with you the whole time.

Brahms Heelshire

rating: 5/10, stop hiding!!!

mains dark green or dark blue.

dude. get out of the vents.

everytime he kills someone, he will immediately hide in the vents until someone reports the body and the next round starts.

the only time he breaks this pattern is if someone is standing directly over or in front of the vent, at which point he pops out to kill them and then pops right back in.

i mean it works??? i guess??? but come ON–

he has never killed you when he was the imposter, and he gets mopey if you kill him, so i advise against it.

whenever he isn't imposter, he follows you around for like 90% of the game, just watching you complete all your tasks before he even starts his. and he expects you to stay with him while he does his!

Carrie White

rating: 6/10 so pure. so good.

genuinely dislikes being the imposter. she isn't good at lying to people, so she always gets herself caught, and she usually ends up lowkey freaking out and either self reporting the body or not running away fast enough and getting caught.

mostly, when she's imposter, she will close doors and sabatoge things in the hopes that her partner will do the rest.

she usually mains white, and either has the little flower on her head or the the little sprout. gives off very sweet vibes.

as a crewmate, she is very dutiful in getting her tasks done. she always vouches for people, especially you, and will always volunteer to watch someone do a visual task. (sometimes you go with her just to make sure this doesn't backfire on her...... no murdering carrie on your watch).

she talks to everyone in chat too, both in the lobby, and in deadchat. she makes friends everywhere!

she may not be the best at the game, but she is sO fun to play with. just a good wholesome time.

Jason Vorhees

rating: 2/10....... he tried.

do NOT let him set up the game, he will make the walking speeds so slow.

but, okay, first of all, how did you get him to play??? how did you convince him to agree to this??? are we sure he knows whats going on-

i suppose it doesn't matter, he would probably do anything you asked him to do anyway, and if he thinks you would really have fun playing with him, then heaven forbid he say no!

either way, he is dead. silent. for the whole game. he doesn't even type in chat, except for the very occasional 'yes' or 'no.'

he would probably be the person who just said 'yes' if someone asked if he was the imposter.

he also doesn't have a main color, but mostly because he either doesn't know HOW to change it, or doesn't care enough to do it. if you ask him/do if for him, though, he would like either dark green or brown. (you could even give it the cute little hockey mask!)

The Lost Boys (+Star)

rating: 4/10, children please.

this is a group thing. if you convince one of them to play, then they're ALL playing. hell, you might even manage to convince Star to play.

paul is the single most untrustworthy player you have ever seen. even when he ISNT the imposter, his absolute buckwild energy just makes him seem so suspicious. he sabotages everything, and he probably seeks you out just to kill you first.

marko is probably a yellow main, and he always wears the weirdest shit available. he gives me the vibes of someone who would probably get lost a lot on the bigger maps or be the person who pretends he's lost so he has an alibi

dwayne is the one you have to watch out for. he's so good at faking you out, you never know if he's the imposter until he stabs you in the back. he won't even feel bad about it.

sidenote, dwayne lets laddie co-pilot when he plays. laddie makes the decisions, so if someone dies, it was probably not dwaynes choice. these are the rounds where you probably won't die right away.

star is a very casual player, super noncommittal. she is both good to have on your team, and awful, because she will absolutely turn on you and vote you out to save herself as a last resort. shes the only one who won't immediately seek you out to kill you.

when all of them are crewmates, its a hot mess. no one can communicate with them spamming chat, paul never does his tasks, dwayne camps on cams, and marko ABUSES the emergency call button.

The Man

rating: 8/10, actually really good???

he mains red, with the classic hockey mask.

he gets like.... a little too into planning shit. its just a game, its not that deep, pls sir–

but that makes him a very capable imposter, and hes soo good at keeping up the facade and talking with you like nothing is wrong, and before you know it, he's killed three people in the first round.

its really a toss up on whether or not he'll kill you at all in the game. if he does, he saves you til last.

there are times where he gets a little too heated if someone catches him or his teammate turns on him, and he will be fuming until the game ends and he gets to rant into chat. thats usually when you need to step in–

other than that, he's pretty chill about the whole thing. he likes to experiment with kills, like stack kills and taking advantage of glitches or hiding spots.

hes also a MASTER of sabatoge. he's so good at using those tools.

Vincent Sinclair

rating: 8/10, friendship > everything else.

likes to main white, which is interesting, because he is NOT the typical white main.

as an imposter, he's actually pretty good.

he seems like the kind of person to lead you away from everyone, and vent in front of you to let you know hes an imposter, and then ruthlessly kill everyone except for you.

most of the time he will just follow you around to make sure no one else kills you while you do your tasks.

a lot more talkative in chat than you might think, too.

catch him highkey shit talking people with you

hes also a good teammate to have as a crewmember; he always remembers where everyone was, who he passed, who was in a room with who, etc.

just very cool to play with in general.