#and yes indiana jones is on there and tomb raider
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Have you played BROKEN COMPASS ?
By Riccardo Sirignano and Simone Formicola
Broken Compass is an Adventure Role-Playing Game inspired by the great movies and games of the genre, from the Mummy all the way to Uncharted, passing through Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider
You want to play pulp ? Use this.
Basis for the Fortune System
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I just saw Tomb rider and it reminded me of Buried Secret 😍
Thanks for the ask about Buried Secrets, Anon!
Ahh yes. Lara Croft, one of my first girl crushes. I loved those movies (and the games). I haven’t watched the movies in some time. This might be as good a time as any to do that. Never know what ideas I might get from it. 😏
Mya is definitely heavily influenced by Lady Croft. How could she not be? Lara is a total badass.
I would say she’s also heavily influenced by my other girl crush, Evy, in The Mummy franchise. Watch the first two if you haven’t. They are some of my favorite movies of all time. Mya will definitely have the same sort of thirst for knowledge and a bit of nerdiness to her that Evy has. It’s not obvious all the time, but it’s there, and Frankie will absolutely love that side of her.
Unfortunately we don’t have a lot of women archaeologists portrayed in movies, which is just sad to be honest. Some honorable mentions (even though they were not archeologist) would be Marion Ravenwood from Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark and Abigail Chase from National Treasure. They turned out to be badass treasure hunters that taught the men a thing or two.
If you all know of any other movies to add to the list, please do share! I’m always down for new content.
💜Mysty
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal characters#frankie morales#frankie gets his fucking money#buried secrets teaser#talk to me about buried secrets#talk to me#asked and answered
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Tag List
First - for @aziz-reads, @blind-the-winds, and @saltysupercomputer - I know your answer my adorbs friends <3 @raincoffeeandfandoms & @call-sign-shark - I know to tag you on my Peakyverse ones.
For - @writingmaidenwarrior. @pheita, @toribookworm22, @outpost51, @dreaminggoblin, and @thebejeweledwatercat - if you want things changed, just let me know.
NOW....FOR EVERYONE ELSE, DESCRIPTIONS OF MY WIPS ARE BELOW THE CUT. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHICH WIPS, IF ANY, YOU WOULD LIKE TAGGED FOR WHEN POSTED.
You can like this post for all of them, or message/comment to let me know if there are just certain ones that you want tagged on
@theimperiumchronicles - The Four Horsemen have taken over hell with the Horseman of Death as Queen and the Horseman of War as King. Hell has been split into two level, Imperium is the upper where Abriella and Cruz rule and where beings live. Caligo is the lower, the spiraling torture pits. The ousted Princes of Hell want to take back their thrones and are waging war to do so. In addition to dealing with them, a new realm, Uffern, has come into play and how that is going to work out is still undecided.
@the-andromeda-effect - In Greek Mythology Andromeda was sacrificed by her parents to save their kingdom from Poseidon's wrath after her mother offended him, but Perseus saves her from death by a Krackon and takes her to his kingdom to be his Queen. Mircea (Meer-cha) Kalavati wasn't sacrificing his wife to appease a god, or bring peace to his clan, he was doing it to start a war with another. His mistake when he hired Caliban Andros was lying to him about why he wanted her rescued, then killed to look like those who had kidnapped her had done it. Never lie to your hitman. Now, like Perseus to Andromeda, Caliban has rescued Riona Kalavati and something is drawing him to the woman. He will kill to keep her safe, and her husband is going to regret that lie for what remaining life he has left. Now as Adira Andros, she is definitely Caliban's Queen, and his "army" has rallied around her.
@behindthesemasks - Melania LaVeau is a professor at LSU in Baton Rouge. She is also the grandaughter of Ambrose Meyers, one of the most powerful men in the country and the daughter of Marie LaVeau...yes THAT Marie LaVeau! Old money, going back to when the Gautier family came over from France to settle in New Orelans, there isn't much that goes on in Louisiana or Mississippi that they don't have their hands in. Meyers Worldwide, a tech conglomerate is a cover for underworld activities that will eventually come to light. What happens when someone decides to cross the most powerful, and immortal, Queen of Voodo and threaten one of her children? Will New Orleans be left standing? If you are a fan of Indiana Jones, Tomb Raider, or The LIbrarians, the story is in the same veign. All of the characters are human, but there are supernatural occurrences around them.
@bendingthelaws - Colin Masterson is the Cook Count State's Attorney. He has been on a mission to take down the head of a Chicago crime conglomerate that is headed by Constantin Rakeovich. Now someone has kidnapped his intern and is sending her back to him in tiny pieces. Is it Constantin? Is it another one of the people that Colin has crossed? Now he and those he trusts are going to have to figure it out before someone else disappears or is hurt. Complicating matters is that his brother, Colton Masterson is Constantin's defense attorney. The brothers have never been close, but in this situation, things take a much darker turn. Will Colton stand by his brother or his client? And what happens when something bigger happens and puts everyone Colin cares about in the crosshairs? If you are a fan of Law & Order, or any of those types of shows, this is much in the same vein and will involve more than just the lawyers. All characters are human. There is no supernatural beings or magic. Some places are going to be fictional, but the main setting is the city of Chicago.
@devil-in-the-details-ay - When Lucifer's daughter Yara gets bored and wants to intern for the Lord of Death, Astaroth, her father agrees. After their first meeting, the Devil changes the plans once more. Deciding to make Yara someone else's problem, she is now to be Astaroth's wife. Navigating this challenge, and those who will come against them both will reveal a lot about each other, and themselves. Is the Princess really as spoiled and entitled as she seems? Is Astaroth really the iceberg incarnate that he seems? Is she even who she believes herself to be? And what happens when someone decides to try to interfere in their relationship?
@magical-mistakes-vm - Vollrath, the Master Warlock of the local Coven, encounters Mahala (Mah-HAY-lah) preparing to do a ritual on his land. Her mistakes in not being careful in preparations allowed him to find her, but it also set up events in the future that they will need the help of his best friends Baldur and Elmar to deal with. A witch that has no clue what she is and a Master Warlock who is not used to letting people close have to navigate revelations that will change both their lives, and possibly even the Coven. When his brother, Balor, an equally powerful warlock within the Coven who he has been at odds with for years, also shows up and it is clear will be needed, it just adds one more complexity to the situation. Can they all get along to keep each other safe, or will one of them fall to those who are coming against them?
@princess-of-thieves-id - Princess Inara is set to marry Prince Diyan the next day, a man she has never met or even set eyes on. Ever defiant, that is the last thing she is going to do. Deciding to thwart her father's plans, the Princess slips out of the castle and sets to escape. Little does she know that the Prince's family sent Arik, the Prince's best friend and a trained assassin, to watch over her, fearing more that she would be murdered by enemies rather than escape. One thing that Arik knows is that Diyan doesn't want to marry Inara either, so instead of stopping her, he helps her with a promise to keep her safe if she stays with him. They make it to the next town, which is a port and aboard a vessel that is just preparing to depart in an effort to stay one step ahead of the soldiers now searching for Inara. Unbeknownst them, they have just become stow-aways on a pirate ship. Complicating things further is that Arik and the Captain of the ship are not strangers, and when a romance develops between Inara and Arik and the Captain deciding he would like her for his own, things become even more complicated. Not to mention all three of them are being hunted by multiple kingdoms. Nothing like a quiet day on the sea, right?
@tapperhet-em - When Princess Meeri's father is deposed by his brother, he believes she was part of the coup, and disowns her as his family flees the country. Lucky for her, she is found by one of the knights she befriended in childhood and is still loyal to her, Einar, before her uncle did. A members of nobility, he and three of his friends spirit her off into hiding where they can plan to figure out who set her up, help her rebuild a life apart from royalty, and decide how to bring about justice. Can the seeming unrequited love of Einar for Meeri turn into more? Or will one of his brothers in arms, cut him off from that possibility? And how close was/is the traitor to Meeri? Sometimes safe isn't as safe as you think...and destiny, it's more than just a lofty ideal. She is a bitch sometimes, and she will find you.
*****
Back to The 20's - ongoing story with Rose & Alfie Solomons who belong to @raincoffeeandfandoms
Annabella has been alive for almost 300 years. During a lot of that, the demon Jasper has been her best friend. While on an excursion to London, she had a chance to meet the dashing Tommy Shelby, but she knows a devil in a dress coat when she sees one, and they are nothing but business. However, when she meets the enchanting Rose Solomons, (OC of @raincoffeeandfandoms) the wife of Alfie, it becomes personal. She adores the woman and a friendship blossoms. Her good friend Gynnifer also shows up and has some wonderful ideas on how to make Rose's wonderful projects even better.
Bayou Witches - ongoing story with Heaven & Arthur Shelby who belong to @call-sign-shark
Arthur Shelby served in the military with Melania LaVeau's best friend Alexander. During that time, her fiance', Cade, and some of their old friends also were stationed together. Now dealing with PTSD and recently married, Melania suggests to Cade that he invite his old friends to their estate in the beautiful bayous of Louisiana to help him relax and have some comradery with his old mates. What could not have been predicted is that Arthur's wife, Heaven, is a powerful witch in her own right, who fits right in with Malania's family and instantly adopted. Who better to adopt the beautiful French witch, than the French Creole legacy family of the LaVeaus. Sometimes family is what you make it, not the blood in your veins, and in the bayou, anything is possible...
*****
Still working on 1st chapter ----
@sehnsuchtrising - The kingdom of Sehnsucht has fallen. The former royalty imprisoned. The fate of the kingdom is now in the hands of the five closest friends of the King - A beautiful sorceress (Katarina), a dark elf who has a slight pyromaniac streak (Sebastian), a Princess that tends to be highly overly dramatic (Aoife), a dragon trainer that was still an apprentice (Barkley), and a rogue and lockpick who is a klutz (Taliesin). What could go wrong??
#tag list request#updating list#snippets of wips#my wips#writeblr#writeblr community#writeblr connect#writing community#writer community#writrblr#writerblr#author community#authorblr
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Hey Everyone!! I hope you're all having a great day 😊
As some of you may have noticed, I now have three major storylines going. @theimperiumchronicles , @bombsbodyguardsbroken , and @bendingthelaws .
In case anyone is confused I thought I'd give a brief synopsis of the storylines in case anyone just wants to follow certain ones you can let me know.
The Imperium Chronicles - There is a web of lives that anchors in four major realms - Earth, Imperium, Uffern, and Poustota. The Four Horsmen have now taken control of what was previously the Earthly Hell realm. The Horseman of Death, Abriella, is the Queen and her brother, the Horseman of War, Cruz, is the King. The Horseman of Famine, Deacon, and The Horseman of Conquest, Olly, are their top advisors and framily. In Uffern, the realm of Mists and Shadows, Kellen reigns as King. He is single and is dealing with his siblings, that at times of more of a curse than blessing. Soon Uffern and Imperium will collide and the outcome could be quite interesting. When the Horsemen took possession of Imperium, the Princes of Hell were locked out and now are trying to take it back. Currently they, and their allies are hiding in a realm created by Kali, who would like to be the Queen and is going to be helping them in their endeavors. Earth is where residents of all three realms often interact, and where the war for the destiny of the galaxy occurs.
Bombs, Bodyguards, and Broken Artifacts - Melania LaVeau is a professor at LSU in Baton Rouge. She is also the grandaughter of Ambrose Meyers, one of the most powerful men in the country and the daughter of Marie LaVeau...yes THAT Marie LaVeau! Old money, going back to when the Gautier family came over from France to settle in New Orelans, there isn't much that goes on in Louisiana or Mississippi that they don't have their hands in. Meyers Worldwide, a tech conglomerate is a cover for underworld activities that will eventually come to light. What happens when someone decides to cross the most powerful, and immortal, Queen of Voodo and threaten one of her children? Will New Orleans be left standing? If you are a fan of Indiana Jones, Tomb Raider, or The LIbrarians, the story is in the same veign. All of the characters are human, but there are supernatural occurrences around them
Bending the Law - Colin Masterson is the Cook Count State's Attorney. He has been on a mission to take down the head of a Chicago crime conglomerate that is headed by Constantin Rakeovich. Now someone has kidnapped his intern and is sending her back to him in tiny pieces. Is it Constantin? Is it another one of the people that Colin has crossed? Now he and those he trusts are going to have to figure it out before someone else disappears or is hurt. Complicating matters is that his brother, Colton Masterson is Constantin's defense attorney. The brothers have never been close, but in this situation, things take a much darker turn. Will Colton stand by his brother or his client? And what happens when something bigger happens and puts everyone Colin cares about in the crosshairs? If you are a fan of Law & Order, or any of those types of shows, this is much in the same vein and will involve more than just the lawyers. All characters are human. There is no supernatural beings or magic. Some places are going to be fictional, but the main setting is the city of Chicago.
If any, or all of these sound interesting to you, feel free to like/comment in order to get added to my tag lists. Please also feel free to send any questions regarding the stories. I hope you all will enjoy the new twists and turns that I'll be putting out.
💜💜
CJ⚜
#from the author goddess#the imperium chronicles#bombs - bodyguards & broken artifacts#bending the law#my writing#my stories#my ocs#announcement#my wips#long post#longpost#wip info#wip descriptions#wips
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this verse is inspired by the indiana jones & mummy franchises with small influences from tomb raider , national treasure , and various other exploration based adventure films.
the world is at its finest , the great war had hardened young men ; for if one had survived it there was nothing they couldn't survive. having left home at nineteen and fought overseas in a conflict that wasn't even their own , the learned survival rotted away at his skin. he had tried to hold onto it , completing another enlistment afterwards , but peacetime meant there was nothing that could compare to the feeling of chaos that had been burned into his soul. and as such had created a sense of urgency in the search for the same excitement , one that could not be found behind a desk at an office , or tuning wrenches in a factory , no there was an unsatiable need for adventure. one that clawed its way into his heart and refused to let go.
it was that intense desire that had landed him at the doorstep of harvard university a couple of years ago , one strange job recommendation to another and eventually he was on his first trip to egypt assisting doctor gloria de lima with some strange artifact recovery , the new continent was exhilarating , he hadn't felt this fulfilled since the war and it's addicting. skirmishes with other archeologist teams was not something he had been expecting , huckleberry was fully certain he was just there for show , to scare off potential looters & scams and yet , finding himself actually useful in situations around such amazing places , things and people ? he agrees to be part of her team , no matter where they go. he wants more of this strange adventure.
so for the next couple of years he works exclusively with the north american universities , not always the same one , but always on recommendation. its only then that he runs into another one of him , he's met a few , a few that can hold their own against him , and less that ( he's a little worried might beat him in a fight ). but the man , who goes only by six , is thankfully on his side because the trip to south america goes south. he's not sure who had tipped off the germans that they would be exploring the jungles of colombia , but by the time they are trying to exist the ruins he's sure its some supernatural curse that's keeping them from being able to escape safely. eighteen dead germans and three golden idols later everyone ( on their team ) is safe and finally on a plane back to the united states.
that supernatural curse , that is strange to him everyone else insists was a figment of his imagination. but he's certain that these things are real , that these curses & dark magic items they keep uncovering have some sort of connection. there has to be some reason his brain won't let him go to sleep , that he wakes up picturing some sort of undead zombie-man over his bed every night. so he shifts customer base , takes a job with dinosaur-doctor william hargrove , because at least dinosaurs couldn't curse their own bones. or so he thought before they arrived. the mediterranean is a strange land to be in. throughout the trip he learns three things , one dinosaur bones can in fact be cursed , two dr. hargrove is a perfectly capable individual who doesn't need a body guard and three if one short mexican woman with curly hair asks for anything the only answer is yes.
the world has gotten a lot bigger than it had been a couple of years ago. but even then... at least there was always room for another adventure.
in conjunction w/@medicbled , @sierra6x , @kinghaargrove & @executiioner
#:// files_revoked / verses / indiana_jones#:// files_revoked / verses / indiana_jones / bio#i was gonna tag it with the ? genere bc its both mummy & indiana inspired but ??? IDK WHAT THE GENERE IS
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I came across a GameRant article that is suggesting that "The upcoming Crystal Dynamics Tomb Raider game should refresh Lara Croft by using her archeological skills to preserve instead of destroy." and more specifically that it should "depict accurate archeological techniques and show Lara working with a team of fellow archeologists during her next adventure." while also citing the fact that "Lara is sometimes a bit too callous while exploring -- frequently destroying ruins, hacking at ancient structures with her climbing axes, and absconding with rare and powerful artifacts." as a drawback.
I'm sorry but that is a shit take 🤣
Lara is an archaeologist yes, but, like Indiana Jones or Nathan Drake, she's "not a regular mum, she's a cool mum". She does all these illegal and morally questionable stuff that would be absolutely, unanimously, condemned in our own world, and Crystal actually made the fact that people actively criticize Lara in her own world as a part of her backstory all the way back in 2006.
But that's what makes the character interesting and, most importantly, who she is as a character.
Lara is not a hero. She's not outright evil or a psychopath, like some fans like to suggest, and she would never actively try to destroy the world just to add another artefact to her collection, but if she happens to save the world it's most likely a happy accident because she initially set out to find a new artifact to add to her collection and ended up having to dispose evil maniacs along the way. More personal stakes involving her family have been added in both the Legend and the Reboot trilogies, but Lara is still in it for the treasure. I mean heck it's in the game's title 🤣 she is a tomb raider first and foremost. The series is not called Hero, or Explorer or Archaeologist. It's called Tomb Raider. Lara and the premise of the series itself is inherently problematic. They tried to excuse her stealing artifacts and destroying tombs in Shadow by making it look like she has to do those things to prevent the apocalypse but all it did was end up flirting too much with the boundaries of portraying her as a white saviour to the Paititians.
Lara should absolutely never ever again have other people on the field with her, and the Survivor trilogy, whether knowingly or by chance I'm not yet sure, perfectly illustrated that people like the Endurance Crew or Jonah being on expeditions with her are an active hindrance because none of them could keep up with her and she ended up needing to save them from harm almost all the time. Lara should absolutely have allies around her but they should stay the fuck home. Have Zip and Alister chat with her via radio, sure. Have Jonah or Anaya or Sam or Von Croy pop in to give her tips on artifacts or sites she could potentially investigate, that's great. But she should be doing the raiding part alone. She always worked better alone and it should stay that way. You don't need to have people next to her at all times to portray a bond with them or flesh out her personality and character. Lara doesn't need to have someone to talk to at all times to be relatable or interesting.
Furthermore, the author suggests that previous titles' more supernatural or unrealistic elements like Lara fighting dinosaurs in the first three games and Anniversary (they actually only site Anniversary, which makes me think that maybe they don't have enough experience with the series in the first place) or having a super-powered doppelgänger in Underworld were interfering with Lara being portrayed as a knowledgeable archaeologist. I'm sorry but this suggests to me a clear lack of media literacy.
Lara is always the smartest person in any room she walks in, she is shown deciphering ancient texts, like ancient Egyptian, Greek or Mongolian, and speaking various foreign languages, from Japanese to Russian, with ease. She knows and informs players, and sometimes her own allies, on the myths she's currently investigating. Ever since as early as Anniversary, she also gives players detailed descriptions of the artifacts players find, and in the Survivor games they went the extra mile of having recorded voiceovers of Lara's descriptions of the artifacts and I think this is where Camilla shines the most as an actress because you can actually hear the excitement in her voice as she giddily describes her new find, or her disappointment when she read a "made in China" tag on one artifact in TR 13. If the writer, or any player for that matter, paid more attention to the dinosaurs and the supernatural stuff than the actual archaeology and not the actual archeological knowledge Lara has, that's not the games' fault, and no amount of making things overly realistic will change that, just like dressing and modelling Lara in a more realistic way didn't stop players, gay and straight alike, from gushing about Lara's thick ass (in Shadow specifically) or making sexy mods.
Honestly, yes, making more grounded and realistic games and characters is a good thing, because variety is a good thing to have in general. Making every single game and character realistic is not fun, however, not necessary and, ultimately, not gonna help make a game more successful or more popular or more fun, which is the thing that matters the most. Realistic does not always mean entertaining.
Ultimately, if you feel like Lara Croft being portrayed as a reckless treasure hunter fighting dinosaurs is not entertaining, maybe Tomb Raider just isn't for you? And this is not me trying to gatekeep, but just like I keep saying to all the Core fans who have been crying for almost two decades now about Crystal "destroying" Tomb Raider and Lara Croft but still continue to buy every single game, every single DLC and every single merchandise that comes out, if the series no longer provides what you specifically want, maybe you just need to move on and give your money and time on the things you actually like.
And yes, games and media do impact how we think and act in real life situations, but just because I think it's fun when Lara steals things and keeps them for herself just because she wants to, I don't think the British Museum or the Louvre doing the exact same thing is okay. Context matters.
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Mm yes. Ancient Artifact Hunter /Tomb Raider/ Indiana Jones Seb....like he popped right out of that fanfic I never ended up writing. xD
Those old drabbles for reference here, in case anyone's curious: Sebastian Sallow, Expert on Ancient Magical Artifacts and Giving You Shit
But at least I have good inspo now! Could look at this for dayyyyz
*sigh* (ꈍᴗꈍ)👍💕💚
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and another thing,
(yes it’s more dial of destiny spoilers)
I realized that in what I perceive as fundamental structural errors in constructing Dial of Destiny, they fell into the same Indiana Jones homage trap that everybody else does. Which is, you know, when you set out to make an adventure film for the last 40+ years— a Tomb Raider, a Mummy, an Uncharted, a Jumanji II, a Romancing the Stone— everyone looks at Raiders and goes, well damn. How the hell do we do that? and thinks the answer is to start with Indiana Jones.
Which is not the pieces that came together to make Raiders. When Spielberg and Lucas talk about making Raiders, they talk about pulp serials, they talk about 30s and 40s cinema; they rip off* stunts from Yakima Canutt; they rip off* shots from Treasure of the Sierra Madre. They talk, cinematically, about African Queen and King Solomon’s Mines and Lawrence of Arabia and Secret of the Incas. Spielberg literally talked about wanting to make a James Bond movie. He I think is also the one in the story conference who says, and I’m paraphrasing, “what we’re doing here is making a ride at Disneyland.”
(Temple of Doom goes on to get a Busby Berkeley dance scene, ferchrissakes.)
So I’ve been catching up on reviews and articles that I passed over before seeing Dial of Destiny, and Mangold I think this week said something, he got asked by some reporter something like, “Would you make another one? if Lucasfilm asked you to helm a Helena spinoff, would you do it?” And his answer is that he’s said what he wanted to say, did what he set out to do, and we’re in this era of IPs and franchises that just sort of spin in place and don’t take the characters anywhere and he doesn’t want to do that.
And I respect that. I think he gets a lot of things right in his understanding of Indiana Jones and having a human element at the center is absolutely critical. (Though, if I can find my old post about Indiana Jones recasting vs. James Bond— pretty much monkey paw’d myself on this one.)
And yet! He’s talking about how these movies just get to be crammed full of self-referential nonsense, the output becomes total glurge that loses all meaning. He’s not wrong; and I think this is kind of funny because it’s also literally my reasoning of why so many adventure movies and also Dial of Destiny fail to become their own thing— they’re trying to be Raiders!
The script in Dial of Destiny is weak because—assuming this is not just a disaster of editing after the fact— a lot of the lines and moments don’t do anything. Most straightforward example I can think of is Ronaldo talking about his scuba instructions; why do we get a line about crossing over and safety and 3 minutes and getting the bends? Does that tell us something about Ronaldo? Do we come to understand that he’s paranoid, maybe for a moment of comedy, or that he’s extremely careful and conscientious, for a moment of empathy and concern? Does it set up the action for someone to get dangerously tangled in someone else’s line, or to stay too long below surface and risk death? At best I think it’s an artificial timeline from the writers to help increase the tension in the scene, or possibly there was a lot edited out with a critical moment later, but it’s just lazy work. That line does nothing.
It’s very obvious, from the two-and-a-half-hour runtime to the little things like Hauke or the tunnel of bugs, that Mangold and team were trying to cram as much “Indiana Jones” stuff into a movie as they possibly could, and I think that’s an admirable goal. But a lot of it falls flat because it’s not, for example, Last Crusade’s knowing wink at Raiders when Indy gets asked if he’s sure about recognizing the ark; it’s just a checklist of Things That Indiana Jones Movies Have In Them. Hence, the entirely pointless bugs scene. The eels-look-like-snakes joke barely passes muster to me, but that may be because I’m being critical and so much of the surrounding setup is entirely pointless that it also feels useless. (Or, perhaps, the threat of Indy getting stuck with the not-snakes that are going to chew him up and spit him out is buried under the other needless stakes of the twisting and the bends and the getting of the graphikos and the oh shit here come the nazis, and so it’s just too little and too forgettable.)
But, fundamentally, it’s because they’re looking in the wrong place for stuff! Hauke is there because Indy movies always have some hulk fighter, not because, say, Buck Rogers needed to KO a baddie before next week’s episode. To wit: Hauke never gets a fight feature.
The bugs are there because Indiana Jones movies have creepy-crawlies, and not because we’re observing the wilds of the environment (like a cobweb-strewn archaeological site, or the bats in Temple of Doom). (I just hate this moment so much because it does absolutely fucking nothing; we don’t learn early on that Archimedes had an affinity for studying insects, or that he hid his tomb within the nests of venomous millipedes because the Romans thought they were bad luck** or they were a tribute to some aspect of Athena**; we don’t learn that Helena hates bugs in the way Indy hates snakes or we don’t learn that maybe Teddy loves bugs because so many of them fly, and that would be a touching moment for Helena to have thought she lost him and see the bugs. Like. This scene is fully garbage.)
We go hopping and chasing and careening around the Mediterranean because that’s what Indy movies do, not because we take a moment to appreciate the majesty of Morocco or even the streets of New York. (We get maybe a little of this with the temple ruins and the cave on Sicily, and then I feel like we do get some of the majesty with Syracuse, but we have already been to many places already by those points in the movie!) And we never get, let’s say, a Lawrence-of-Arabia-esque train shot on the German treasure train.
And it works sometimes! Teddy is there to be Short Round to Helena, who is Indy forty years ago.
But even that doesn’t pay off; Indy in Temple and Raiders had yet to learn humility for wonder and magic, but Helena spends all her script time scoffing and pretending she’s in it for the money and even though we suspect she’s really in it because she misses her dad and has a weak spot to take Teddy under her wing, we don’t get to see her, perhaps, updating one of her dad’s antikythera notebooks, or asking Indy to be there for her/them. Like, we do see that, literally, in the final scenes, they are all coming together in his apartment in New York, but even then Indy and Helena are being dodgy and grumpy and evasive, afraid to be honest and earnest. Resorting to the comfort of facts (”you can’t stay in the past and change the course of history”) instead of emotional truths (Helena misses her dad and/or wants a father figure and/or wants someone to teach her; or that maybe her dad taught her, as he says early on, not to be a coward and to save your friends).
And the weak writing has other moments; one of the few jokes I can remember is that when Indy retires, we see him immediately give the clock away to a homeless man on the street. Is it just because he’s grumpy? Is he affronted by retirement? Does he think the clock is cheap and meaningless? Is he just already deep enough into his depression that it’s all empty to him, that he would be willing to give up a nice gift because wants to turn everything away and not face it? Funny in the moment, but weird in retrospect 1) that he seems to be sincerely concerned about his coworkers when they die, and they genuinely seem to like him at the party, and 2) not within the world of the movie but if his retirement was his last scene filmed as Indy, and that’s so touching, and then, uh... just throw that to the side then, I guess.
And I mean, is it even supposed to be funny? It feels safe to assume that in a 1969 setting with a later following hippie anti-war protest, the “shaggy homeless figure” is probably easily read as a Vietnam vet. And who else is the only non-extra character who we come to know was involved in Vietnam?
Granted, I fully think they did not intend this reading, but it is even more heartbreaking.
Am I probably overanalyzing one joke? Very likely. But the script just is not holding up for me and I can’t stop picking at everything.
But back to my original point because I am incapable of not writing 70 tangents, this movie I think purposefully avoids making 1960s movie references because it doesn’t want to be another Crystal Skull; but it also avoids making 1930s/40s movie references because it doesn’t understand what Indiana Jones movies have been.
Which, at a fundamental level, is I think why the plot of Indy’s character arc for Dial of Destiny— and which I personally disagree with and think is a bad choice from the outset— is for Indy to feel like he has no place. Dr. Henry Jones Jr., the character, is not a 1930s movie! The movies were that, but if you’ve once again made the mistake of thinking Indiana Jones came up out of the ground fully-formed to create and define an entire genre... well, now you’ve taken an adventurous, determined, gets-the-girl, riding-into-the-sunset character and blown up his whole life so you can shroud the film in gritty misery. And a genuine fuck you for that, my dude!
----
*in an homage sense
**I am fully making shit up, this is not a historical thing
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Bombs, Bodyguards, & Broken Artifacts.. I mean, I don't imagine bombs and artifacts results in fixed artifacts. But what are the bodyguards doing in this? 🤔
The poster chapters are here @bombsbodyguardsbroken
Think Tomb Raider meets Indiana Jones meets The Librarians with some Voodoo Princess Archaeologist thrown in. Let me expound a little.
Melania LaVeau is a professor at LSU that comes from an esteemed and established Creole family from New Orleans. From her father's side, they own Meirs worldwide conglomerate. On the surface this is a mercenary type organization that also deals with high-tech weaponry, hence the bombs and the bodyguards.
Her mother is Marie LaVeau, yes that Marie LaVeau. That had been hidden from her for most of her life, and only after a series of tragedies was that revealed when the woman that she had thought was her mother decided to kill her. That is in a long ago story that will be covered in flashbacks.
Using the guise of being a professor, and using her family's enterprises, Melania and her best friend who is also an archaeologist and professor at Cambridge, track down and retrieve powerful artifacts and objects to keep them safe from them falling in the wrong hands. As you know if you've ever watched a show on archeology, not all artifacts come out of the ground in one piece. And that is where the last part comes in.
Now you may ask yourself, why would a team of archaeologists need bodyguards and bombs? Remember that these are not just your average artifacts, and she's not your average archaeologist. She comes from a rich family that is connected in certain circles where mercenaries are required. She a target herself for certain groups who can use her as leverage against her family.
The story that is currently being written takes place as she goes to Serbia to retrieve an artifact that is said to hold great power, but that not much is known about. The team has just arrived in Serbia, so the chapters that are up are the introductory chapters that get you familiar with the characters and kind of their personalities. There will be more characters introduced while they are in Serbia that will be the core characters of the story as it goes along. While there is magic, voodoo, and the paranormal/supernatural in this story, there's a lot of human interaction as well.
So you have archeology, the supernatural / paranormal, some history thrown in, the mob, and some good old down home Louisiana voodoo.
Going left to right, top to bottom in columns
1 - Mel, Klaus, Cameron (Cam)
2 - Ambrose, Nic, Cade
3 - Francois, Beau, Donovon, Gabriel (Gabe)
4 - Alexander, Marie, Erik, Destrehan (Dez)
5 - Dontanion (Don/D), Case, Etienne
These are the face claims of the main players.
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Ugh! Yep. Steven Universe is considered by many to be completely identical to hateful bile like The Turner Diaries. You know? Because an incredibly diverse, queer friendly animation milestone created by a non-binary, bisexual Jewish woman and one of the most horrific acts of Neo-Nazi hate speech committed to page are totally the same! (Sarcasm) It gets worse! Cartoons considered "Irredeemable Media":
Steven Universe
She-Ra
Star Vs,
Voltron: Legendary Defender,
Young Justice,
Most Disney films
TMNT 2012
My Hero Academia
Naruto
Kill La Kill
Dragon Ball Z
AKIRA
Anything by Satoshi Kon
Evangelion
Heavy Metal
Anything by Ralph Bakshi
Teen Titans (GO! and '03)
Anything by Greg Weisman
Anything by Don Bluth
Ren & Stimpy
Rick & Morty
Futurama
The Simpsons Comics considered "Irredeemable Media":
Anything by Dan Slott,
Anything by Geoff Johns
Anything by Jason Aaron
Anything by Jonathan Hickman
Anything by Grant Morrison
Anything by Scott Snyder
Anything by James Tynion IV
Anything by Joshua Williamson
Anything by Marjorie Liu
Anything by Devin Grayson
Anything by Vita Ayala
Anything by Ann Nocenti
Anything by Rick Reminder
Anything by Chris Claremont
Anything by Jeremy Whitley
Anything by Sina Grace
Anything by Adam Glass
Anything by Brian Michael Bendis
Anything by Joe Glass
Anything by Leah Williams
Anything by Katsuhiro Otomo
Anything by Marv Wolfman
Anything by G. Willow Willson
Gail Simone's entire Birds Of Prey run
Anything by Gail Simone
Anything by Tom Taylor
Anything by Tom King
The entire X-Men series
The entire Deadpool series
The Dark Knight Returns
The Killing Joke
Watchmen Video games considered "Irredeemable Media":
Grand Theft Auto
Doom
The Last Of Us 1 and 2
Wolfenstein: The new Order and The New Colossus
Bayonetta
Tomb Raider (old and new)
Fire Emblem
Ninja Gaiden
Dragon's Crown
Ratchet and Clank
Jak and Daxter
Sly Cooper
Persona
Final Fantasy
Sonic The Hedgehog
Street Fighter
Soul Calibur
Halo
Bioshock
Bioshock Infinite
Metal Gear Solid Films considered "Irredeemable Media":
Everything by Stanley Kubrick
Everything by Brian De Palma
Everything by Quentin Tarantino
Everything by Clint Eastwood
Everything by Tim Burton
Everything by Wes Anderson
Everything by Dario Argento
Everything by John Carpenter
everything by Sergio Leone
Everything by Sam Peckinpah
Everything by Rian Johnson
Everything by J.J Abrams
Everything by Matt Reeves
Everything by Sam Raimi
Deadpool 1 and 2
The Dark Knight Trilogy
Everything by P.T.A Anderson
Everything by Tim Miller
Everything by Steven Soderburgh
Everything by Oliver Stone
Everything by Gaspar Noe'
Everything by Paul Verhoven
Everything by David Cronenburg
Everything by Alfred Hitchcock
Everything by David Lynch
everything by David Fincher
Everything by Lars Von Trier
The Mad Max series
The Matrix
The Indiana Jones series
The Star Wars series
Any film from the 80's
The entire horror genre
Nearly all of the MCU
A.N: This list is MOSTLY satirical. A.N.N: Yes, it's Toxic Purity Culture. A.N.N.N: This is stupid.
What the fuck is irredeemable media? I thought it was The Turner Diaries and Nazi shit but people are saying Steven Universe is irredeemable? Classic literature?
The hell are they smoking?
Yeah, "irredeemable media" is basically just another purity culture term. It basically just means "anything and everything I don't like" at this point.
#jokes#purity culture#toxic purity culture#nonsense#media literacy#satire#media discourse#stupid#film discourse#irredeemable media#fandom discourse#fandom discussion#fandom#puritanism#media criticism#facepalm#steven universe#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#marvel mcu#star wars#film#video games#comic books#comics#superheores#dc#dc comics#marvel#marvel comics
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Not me recently becoming obeessed with my own Braxiatel / Bernice Summerfield playlist.
Now I need to write some more Brax and Benny fanfic to go with it.
#about me#irving braxiatel#Bernice summerfield#and yes indiana jones is on there and tomb raider#and the mummy#i would add adventure is my name but its not on Spotify which is tragic
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After heavy debate, @kylefriz and I have developed an alignment chart featuring icons of adventure
Or, alternatively:
#this all started while watching the Mummy and now....here we are#Indiana Jones#Rick O’Connell#The Mummy#uncharted#nathan drake#lara croft#tomb raider#road to el dorado#jack sparrow#treasure planet#atlantis#national treasure#and yes our girl dora#we stan
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I love comparing Hungarian and American critical reviews over a movie because Americans will be like "Not my favorite but there were good parts and they did a decent job with the CGI and I love the lead actress so 3 stars :)" meanwhile Hungarians will literally write something like "Unwatchable piece of garbage fire I hope everyone who got involved in the making rots in the bottom of a dank piss barrel traveling to the bottom of the Mariana trench with their mothers. 3 stars."
#also only the hungarian paraszt faszkalapok will complsin that the lead actress doesn't have a D cup. literally die.#Hungarian#rambling#yes im talking of tomb raider#its a fun little mese it doesn't have to have great screenplay neither does indiana jones let them fucking live it's for wee kids
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An addition to this I wrote on a forum and feel like keeping around here as well:
The big issue for me with the entire reboot series (which includes this show, which felt, at least in the first episode, even closer to the reboot than the two games that came after it) is that they tried to have a modern, more ethical Lara Croft, but they don't really know how to do it. I'm not sure it can be done at all, but probably not this way.
The basic thing is that classic Core era Lara Croft is an asshole. She's rich, she doesn't need to do anything, she only goes on these adventures for fun, and she loves to kill the people who live there to get more riches to store in her basement. Yes, she will have to save the world in the end, but in most games that happens because she unearthed the item that the bad guys need to end the world in the first place.
This is a problem with all adventure fiction like this, which has, after all, its roots in colonial eras. Indiana Jones going "It belongs in a museum… on the east coast of the United States of America, thousands of miles away" is not that far removed. Though Lara, doing it just for fun and killing way more people along the way, is definitely worse.
I don't mean "bad" in a sense of "I don't enjoy the games" here. This type of character can be a lot of fun. Brosnan-Era James Bond has a lot of vaguely similar sensibilities, with his quips and smirks and enormous body count, and yet I love Goldeneye. But it is a very 90s character archetype that would seem rather out of place now. Tony Stark in the Iron Man movies is probably the closest to this type of guy we've had in a long while, and we already see here that he's having to develop a conscience by shutting down weapons productions in ways that classic Lara Croft never did.
So this type of character seems a bit outdated now. Just like Brosnan gives way to Craig, you must update Lara Croft somehow, right? How do you do that?
The way the reboots have done it, especially the first one, is to make Lara essentially only reactive. She is not at fault. She gets shipwrecked, hurt, beaten about, hurt some more and then some more. She raids tombs not for fun, but because "I've got to do this", to save herself and like 20% of her friends. No moral blame whatsoever. And she promises to always feel bad about the things that happened. There's a reason why they talk about her as a "survivor" instead of a "tomb raider", because that's the core of what she does.
I don't like this approach, both in general and in execution. It forces her into a role where she basically makes no actual decisions except continue on with the plot, and also crucially, one where she is never allowed to have any fun. Having a character see the most beautiful vistas and doing amazing parkour there, and then going, "I'd rather be anywhere but here", it gets you a bit down.
It also means they made Lara very young and inexperienced. I don't actually mind the "crybaby" stuff that so many people complain about, but the way she is constantly portrayed as dependent on father figures like Roth and her actual father.
In the specifics, well, they just don't seem to have any good ideas for it. "Lara has PTSD after Yamatai" is both the plot of this show and of the comics. "Lara's dad had ties to some generic bad guy organisation and must stop them" is the plot of both Rise and Shadow. It's kind of necessary since the official rule is that Lara can't go on an adventure for fun or work, she can only go on it if outside forces or the legacy of the men in her life force her to. That's limiting and boring and again constricts her character growth.
I do think it would be possible to write a Lara who has some more fun on her adventures, goes out because she wants to, and maybe finally drops the fixation on her father's legacy that we've had to suffer through ever since the first Angelina Jolie movie. Or hell, just go back and admit that yeah, she's a bit of an asshole. Nobody's questioning whether Nathan Drake should be allowed to be in games.
In short: Make Lara Evil Again!
I want to give the Tomb Raider animated series on Netflix a chance, but so far I got nine minutes and forty-one seconds in and I already hate everything about it. I'll muddle through this episode, eventually, but I can't imagine myself watching the whole thing.
First of, the art style is the same as Netflix Castlevania. I hated it there and I hate it now. I know I'm alone with this, and that a lot of people really liked Castlevania's art and its quippy annoying dialogue, but not me.
Second, this version once more goes back to "Lara's main motivation is to make her father figures proud", which I also absolutely hate. Within two minutes she goes "wow, my father figure is/would be proud". A woman who goes on daring masculine-coded adventures for fun? That's nineties stuff. In our modern enlightened age, women only do fun stuff because of the men in their lives. Feminism!
(Aside: In the initial fight, Lara is constantly breathing, moaning, sighing, expressing pain and discomfort through effort sounds. Not so Roth. Men are stoic and don't get hurt by that, apparently.)
One of the father figures is her dad, deceased, the other is Roth, the annoying guy from the reboot game who thankfully died in pain and misery. Right now he's alive, sadly, and currently trying to manipulate Lara into thinking that killing native people in order to steal their treasure is good and necessary. Fuck that guy. I really hope he turns out to be the secret villain by the end of episode 1, but I don't expect it. This show is genuinely making me miss Von Croy. He was a lecherous asshole, but at least Tomb Raider 4-6 were clear about the fact that he was, and he did get brutally murdered in the end.
Most of this criticism could also be levelled at the reboot game, and indeed, I hated the story of that game. But at least that one made up for it by being fun enough to play between the story bits, and by having great interesting visuals. This one has neither.
I sure hope I'm wrong about all of that and the rest of it will surprise me, but this episode lost my good will so incredibly rapidly that I just have to complain to someone about it.
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starter call \ @ofagiad
It had been a very long and twisted route of clues to end up here - here being Atlantis, that fabled lost city of ancient Greece. If Evie were here, she’d still be in the entry hall poring over the murals.
But it’s Jacob that’s here, a lantern raised uncertainly in his left hand while the right carefully weighs his kukri. Deep green eyes flick from side to side as he moves deeper - even as the walls close in. No sounds except for the rumble of nearby water and his own slightly-ragged breath.
“Not there, Frye,” Jacob murmurs. “Not going there, come on, people’ve been here. Just...not recently...”
At least there’s no Templars about; he’d been lucky in that regard. Evie had been certain there was something Precursor here, and they’d coordinated their efforts all the way to here. If there were anyone down here...
“This is just...fine,” Jacob has to tell himself again, though he has to unclench his jaw. He does heave a brief sigh of relief as he comes out of a passage into a larger room - with more passages. “Oh, for...!”
#;v;a fresh start#;t;ofagiad 001#;c;kassandra#//let me know if you'd like any edits!!!#//also yes we are going with a tomb raider/indiana jones/uncharted vibe bc why not
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