#and yes i was right i ruined it lol

[cheesyjester]

Well, it looks decent enough lol

Yay Spamton

It only took me a lifetime to make- /joking

[stinkrascal]

also thank you to everyone who tagged me in your favorite simblrs post thingy, i appreciate y'all so very much. honestly its very easy to question my place in the community and more so lately since i havent been very active on simblr and that makes me feel like an outcast lol but i appreciate you guys for enjoying my antics nevertheless. makes me feel seen!! thanks for not forgetting about me i love you ok ❤

[galadriel-blue]

Why is the TROP fandom so toxic all of the sudden?

(Rant in the tags and spoilers for S2 E7 of TROP)

[gjsxj0]

mindless rambling in tags don't mind me

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

[widevibratobitch]

do i really want this relationship to continue tho if i genuinely feel worse after every interaction with her and she is in 89% responsible for my already precarious self esteem crashing and plummeting most severely in the span of just three years?

[bunnihearted]

📚📖🧸

[emiko-fan-2podcasterin]

POV it’s after midnight, you’re an artist and you realize you haven’t drawn your favorite character for some time…enjoy

[unproduciblesmackdown]

on that note had also been thinking about the hilarious classic maneuver of taking things i go "smh always doing that weird/wrong" & instead putting it in the context of like oh i dunno my life experiences. like going "smh once again in one millisecond i noticed something was about to fall & just sort of Tensed instead of instantly going to catch it & in the next milliseconds hash out like 'oh but could i catch it. oh but now it's in progress am i too late' etc" but like well hang on. first of all the Tense Up / Brace For Impact approach can have its strengths too. second of all like why just kick myself when Of Course the vastly more frequent & relevant experiences of having to stifle reactions & tense up to Brace For Impact / Weather The Situation means that's the standard approach. sure tends to be the case that like "okay test your reflex time :)" type things when i Know It's Coming, i.e. preemptively Tense Up, i turn out quite slow. throwback to a true classic [my roommate that said my cat was performative while their cat did things out of true emotion] at my doctor's appointment at like age thirteen when the ol Knee Bonk Reflex Test would make me Tense/Seize That Knee Up and Then kick. and then afterwards my "big fan of unprompted criticisms / declarations about your internal experiences or true intentions" mom was like you were faking those reflexes. i'm like well i wasn't. she was like yes you were. consider the camera jimmed

secondly i was also thinking like, always been the case that when Talking, often even if in writing format, i can't really avoid mirroring the characteristics of the other person's Style / Patterns lol. was thinking about it in my Relative ease of adopting pronunciations for different language's phonemes when it's like, i guess i do have experience in Doing Voices not b/c i really often Did Voices (sometimes lol, as like, direct quotes or whatever. echoing....) but b/c like i'll just be picking up all kinds of mannerisms / tendencies / ways of speaking, including accents slightly (my default accent being disney channel) not b/c i'm messing with anyone or trying to do anything, in fact trying Not to do this is generally unsuccessfully & This Is What Happens Naturally & always has & it's like yknow what i think it might have to do with the fact that i don't think Talking in general is oh so "natural" for me / a matter of "just being myself" (things virtually never are lol) like. i think that time i had that friend in second grade where i'm like ummm i'm not sure we spoke the same language b/c i'm not sure we spoke hardly ever? but we had fun & played & amused ourselves etc til the teacher as usual went Biggest Time Sicko Mode on our "not paying attention" like nobody else's got & then didn't give a fuck abt "intervening" again when we didn't feel like we were Allowed(tm) to interact at all. & like i'm pretty sure i'd be "supposed" to feel like omg we don't talk (almost) at all?? that's SO weirrrd i remember that soooo welllll

and when i Do talk most "naturally" / "just being myself" it's all at once, wordy, and Theatrical, and even then. i did it some the other day and was Sweating, literally, less so figuratively but it does still feel demanding, and of course even when it doesn't Feel thusly, doing a Lot a lot of verbalizing can really still be draining to Taxing. and i've noticed better like yeah sometimes i'm markedly struggling to speak when i'm already extra wearied. and another thing i put into context better was like "when i'm being put tf through it why do i tend to cry through interactions. b/c i'm being a PUSSY????" like lol just on principle was like okay well who cares, i'm sure you, by which i mean i, have my reasons b/c so too would i think someone else does, like. and i remember like, i tend to Not "directly" cry of stress or sadness virtually ever. while i Do tend to be simply keeping that shit contained but Exactly When i have to try to speak? is when i happen to start crying. hmm. Hmmmm. talking Always this performance that i may often not be up for. similar to [personal visual style / Look / clothes] like my default is "basic outfit i'd want to wear every day" & my ideal is "i do not want to be perceived" & (this &) everything else is performance / drag to me, Would That that always be on my terms

another banger is my till oh so recently kicking myself like "aah [pathologization time] i'm sooo slow to be at ease / comfortable around people even when they're surely being nice, what a hassle for others" like well it can be viewed as a hassle for me but it's also like, wait, i end up having stayed uncomfortable around people who weren't being That nice by putting in That much [any effort from any Consideration] and often turn out like. ultimately not that Safe. and i look at "oh right yeah and also i sure Can be like instantly quite comfortable / at ease around people, including people i literally just met. so" &/or my not being at ease either is still way less of a deal than having to literally/figuratively sweat it while i'd feel so much more Okay avoiding detection much less interaction

[ichigosoju]

🐑

[astrxealis]

good morning my personality for the day is that i'm uncontrollably sobbing on the inside about ff9 and ff10

[ningningkittie]

maybe im so attached to him bc he is the only guy i've been able to feel sexually attracted to in a way that feels ok with my personality disorders and skewed perception of sex. bc ofc i like other ppl, ofc i care abt other ppl. i can definitely do the romantic aspect with other ppl but the sex aspect??? :/ it's like i can have sex once and then i can never ever even exist to that person again. so with him it has felt like i could actually have sex and not feel the need to escape. there is another person i feel sexual attraction to that doesnt feel like imma need to die afterwards, but with that person a "forever" or a only us vs everything else situation isnt possible, so my heart is completely cut off from venturing in any romantic nodes. so yeah idk... im just trying to figure all this out bc it is driving me to insanity and i need to perform open brain surgery on myself and fix this fkn mess.

[katyspersonal]

^^^ I got this video recommended after watching a couple on UTDR dramas and it is honestly extremely spot on? I am impressed to hear a really thoughtful analysis from the "other side" of the situation, that addresses problems on both sides; creators being more worried about being shunned from the community than about what they did and damage-controlling what is said about them, but also strangers psychoanalyzing a person they don't know who is already irrational from fear and pain in bad faith.

I am not sure if anyone here finds it handy since I am against the idea of "building up platform" for as long as I remember (I even had instances of purging my following to remain small artist), and I've made sure to cultivate the audience (all ten of my fans xd) with the same mindset who just want to quietly chill with the friendly faces in the corners 🤔 But I never know when one of those "platform and community" kids is looking in my general direction, so why not xD And yes, it is certainly helpful from the side of the observer, to not judge the creators the wrong way. The brain biology bit is hella correct, again, I am impressed by how well it is explained!

[no1ryomafan]

Characterization discourse is so funny for me to watch because it’s people getting upset that a character they really like has their personality changed over time, whether this be because their a new iteration of the character in a new canon or their still in one canon but changed how they act because of different writers, usually to appeal to a newer fans which causes long time fans to be upset more often. It genuinely does suck to see a character you’ve liked possibly as early as your childhood be butchered by the writers just to try to appeal to a newer audience that they feel like a shell of them old selves, especially when this is a character you consider to be one of your favorites OR all time favorite…

But then I’m standing outside of this fire like “good fucking thing the only character I liked that has been reintroduced multiple times is from something that’s not really ongoing but also never fucked up his character to begin with!” Even if the trade of being a ryoma fan is some people just flanderize him.

[heartoftheancientsea]

It’s so disturbing how unsure of myself I am whenever I have to make a difficult decision that prioritizes my own wellbeing and values. I continue to break my own heart by wondering if I made the wrong choice even though I didn’t.

[nexttothelamp]

.....