#and yes i DO have a timetable laid out for this already

[sojourner-between-worlds]

Why can't the 5ds timeline be cleaner when it comes to duels. It makes coming up with a feasible timetable post Yusei's duel with ZONE an absolute pain in the neck.

If you catch the time display on any runner/d-wheel in the second half, the time is always 0:24. The middle of the freaking night. Even when it's broad daylight. Can't use that.

Supposedly it IS the middle of the night when Yusei duels ZONE though. You can see stars in the sky in multiple shots so it's not like the Ark is just blocking the sunlight or something.

But then you have the end of that episode when the Ark disappears. The sun is already VERY high in the sky, in the east, so supposedly morning but, like, 10am already judging by how high it is, and you cannot convince me it took, like, four hours for Yusei to travel back the sun gear, ZONE to literally yeet him away, and the Ark to disappear.

All we know is that they have twelve hours until the city is destroyed. From when? Who knows!

Hazy timelines will never not drive me insane.

[cecilia01]

Ordinary

Chapter three First Impressions

The first day of the term, I woke up to the golden sunrays caressing my cheeks through the ornate windows of our dormitory. For a few minutes I only laid there, enjoying the warmth and the dance of the lights on the scattered furniture and the belongings of my mates, feeling glad to be back.

After dressing in robes and pestering Samantha up too, the both of us emerged from the girls’ side to the Ravenclaw common room, to leave for breakfast. ‘I really don’t see the point in starting school so early, really.’ said Samantha with an enormous eyewatering yawn. ‘My mind does not work anyway, so I might as well just miss the morning classes…’ ‘9 o’clock is not that early, Sam. In my muggle school we started at 8, and you had to commute too. Besides, not everyone is such a late riser.’ I smiled at her. It had been five years, and every morning was a battle. Sam was in every aspect an owl: wise, deep thinker and nocturnal. ‘It is not healthy. I read in a book that you shall sleep enough amount of time each day for your brain to develop well. Do they not want me to get as clever as possible? Honestly…’ She went on with her rant over the disadvantages of forcing people to get up at an uncomfortable time, until we reached our table in the bustle of the Great Hall. ‘Have you seen the timetable yet?’ asked Amit as we sat down to get some tea and toast. ‘No, I have not.’ I said, pouring tea to Samantha, who was already half asleep on Everett Clopton’s shoulder. ‘Is it bad? I shan’t bear another year with double potions on Monday mornings. That was plain torture last year.’ ‘It was not that bad, the Transfiguration after, on the other hand…’ said Samantha, spooning some porridge. ‘No, it is fine. We’ve only got Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts today.’ Amit handed me the parchment. ‘No Herbology?’ asked Samantha sleepily, accidentally dropping some of her porridge on Everett’s robes. ‘No, Samantha.’ said the boy irritably, sweeping off Sam’s head. ‘And anyway, what is the point of anything, when there is no Quiddich to look forward to..?’ he said with a heart-rending tone. Everybody knew how great of a Quiddich fan he was, despite flying very poorly. I sent him a sympathetic smile, thinking of something encouraging to say. ‘Oh, that reminds me. Have you seen Imelda? I wanted to see how she’s faring after yesterday’s announcement.’ said Samantha, turning her head towards the Slytherin table. At the and of the long table sat our small group of green-robed friends, with a new red-headed witch, seemingly in deep discussion. But Imelda was nowhere to be seen. ‘If you are looking for Imelda, I’ve seen her raging down the Main Hall. She seemed so out of her mind that I didn’t dare approach her.’ said Garreth with a grin as he passed our table on his way out of the Great Hall. ‘We shall meet her after class then, shan’t we Cecilia?’ ‘Ah, yes.’ I tore my eyes from the green table. How come they were such bosom friends just after a day? ‘Definitely. Shall we go now?’ ‘All right.’ said Samantha following my sight, with a strangely amused expression.

As I guessed beforehand, the new girl seemed to be good at everything. She won in the Summoner’s Court game against Natty and the duel against Sebastian. No one defeated him before in class, so you could see the sparkle of interest flaming into curiosity in his eyes as they finished the duel. ‘Not bad for a beginner. You give as good as you get.’ he said, sweeping off the dust on his robes, with a tone of surprise in his voice. But he wasn’t alone, the whole class seemed to be enchanted with her performance on her first day. As the class ended, the sunlit classroom deserted within minutes, for everyone got aware how brilliant the weather was outside of the castle, and how unpleasant muggy it was inside. ‘Shouldn’t we introduce ourselves to her?’ I asked Samantha, as we were packing our bags to leave. ‘Oh, I already did after Charms. She seems lovely, you should go too. I try to run Imelda down in the meantime. Shall we meet back in the common room?’ As I nodded and watched Samantha leave the classroom, some inexplicable nervousness ran through me. I tried to shake it off, while crossing to the window, where the new girl was standing. ‘Hello! I’m Cecilia Maple. So nice to have finally met you! You were just splendid in both classes, what is your secret?’ ‘Nice to meet you too! My name is Cordelia Vane. And thank you, but I’m afraid there is not much to it. I have a way with these things, I presume.’ she said with an affable smile. Now that I was closer to her, I could muster her features better. Her pretty face was scattered with freckles, with a cheek of the most beautiful shade of rosy, that you otherwise would only see on paintings of delicate ladies. And of course, her soft wavy locks of red hair, that muggle ladies would pay their soul to achieve unnaturally. But her eyes, that where the green of her robes, which seemed so gleamy from a great distance, were not mirroring her sweet smile, they were somehow cold. Shivering cold, piercing into me... ‘Oh I…yes, well…of course you’ve got…’ I started with a stutter, trying to look away, when Sebastian from the other side of the class called out in our direction. ‘Nice work, Cordelia. May I have a word?’ ‘Excuse me.’ she said with a faint smile and strode off towards the boy. I waved a yes in relieve, and absent-mindedly scampered out the room. It did not make sense at all, she was nothing, but proper nice and polite.

So why was I scared of her?

[kuroopaisen]

tiny love || vi

➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime was easy. iwaizumi ultimately decided to rebuff you. through a few strange twists of fate, you’ve ended up living with the very boy who’d broken your heart. but, perhaps it’s not as bad as you thought it’d be

warnings: f!reader, depictions of implied social anxiety 

wc: 5.3k

m.list | ch. 5 ↞ ch. 6↠ ch. 7

The restaurant was tacky, but it was enough to remind you of home – even if it was in the most cliché ways possible. All of the cultural ‘nods’ are cheesy as a tourist trap, but Iwaizumi had told you that it was run by a family of Japanese migrants. Apparently, the food made that obvious.

“What do you recommend?” You asked, peering closely at the menu.

It was written in both English and Japanese, much to your relief. Most of the dishes offered seem like staples, too; you could grab most of these at some little outlet near your home in Miyagi.

“The rice bowls are pretty good,” Iwaizumi said.

“Should I get one with karaage or vegetable tempura?”

“You prefer karaage, right?”

You blinked at him for a moment. He remembers that?

“Both are good,” he shrugged, as if he hadn’t just made your heart jump.

“What are you gonna get?” You asked.

“Probably just some agedashi tofu and then an oyakodon.”

“Ah,” you nodded. You remembered that he’d shown a fondness for both dishes several years ago. Some things didn’t change.

Another silence fell over you. You wanted to say more, to think of something interesting to say. But nothing came to mind.

“Ah, Iwaizumi!”

You looked towards the source of the voice.

The owner was a cute girl with long black hair tied up in a ponytail, with bright and an apron wrapped around her waist.  

Iwaizumi turned to smile at her. “Hi.”

“How’ve you been?” She asked in perfect Japanese.

“Good,” he nodded. “Just trying to get ready for uni.”

“Of course, of course…” She hummed. “Did you just get back?”

“Yeah.” He turned to nod in your direction. “This is my new roommate.”

You blushed, giving the waitress a little wave as he introduced you.

She turned to you and beamed, giving you a little nod in return. “It’s nice to meet you!”

“You too,” you smiled.

The waitress fished a notebook and a pen out of the front pocket of her apron, turning back to Iwaizumi. “The usual, I presume?”

“Mhm,” he chuckled.

“And what would you like?” She asked, turning to you.

“I’d like a karaage rice bowl, thank you.”

“Perfect,” the waitress beamed once more. “I’ll let Youta know right now.”

With that she hurried off in a flurry, making a beeline straight for the kitchen.

Once you were sure she was safely out if earshot, you turned to Iwaizumi.

“How often do you come here?” You teased. You couldn’t help it.

“More than I should,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “My wallet doesn’t thank me for it.”

You smiled, folding your hands in your lap.

“It reminds me of home,” he said quietly.

You didn’t know what to say to that. It’s a vulnerable statement, one that caught you off-guard. You felt like there was more to it, more woven between those words. Should you respond to what you thought was unsaid? Or to the simple statement he’d said out-loud?

You never knew what to do when it came to Iwaizumi.

“I’m glad you found it,” is what you settled on, your voice soft against the din of the restaurant. You meant it.

Iwaizumi smiled at you. “Me too.”

He was making an effort. A real, genuine effort to make this as smooth as possible.

And you were trying to return that energy, to help the two of you make this unfortunate arrangement work. But you knew it wouldn’t be easy. Perhaps this strange energy would hang over the two of you for the rest of the semester, until you found someone to escape with.

But God, was it hard.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Thanks for this,” you blushed, digging your hands into the fabric of the skirt.

“No problem,” Iwaizumi smiled.

Fall was in full swing as the two of you drove down the street, the air temperate enough as you made your way towards university. Iwaizumi had told you it wasn’t long until it got quite chilly.

“What class have you got?” He asked.

“Uh… PSYCH 9A,” you said. You were stuck firmly between excitement and dread, the conflicting emotions grappling for space in your heart. All your classes would be in English and while you certainly weren’t bad at it – you’d been one of the best in your grade – you knew that what was taught in a classroom was very different to what was actually used in practice.

“I did that last year,” he said.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I did it as one of my general education courses.”

“Right,” you replied. The world flew by your window, a flurry of brown and green and beige. There was a lot to think about; too much, in your opinion. It was hard not to get caught up in all your anxieties, letting them eat away at you like a pack of rats.

“You worried?” Iwaizumi’s voice was far more understanding than it had any right to be.

You sighed, looking at the bag plopped between your feet. “I’m scared I won’t be able to keep up.”

He nodded. “That’s understandable.”

You pressed your lips together, frowning. “If I fall behind in the first week, then…”

“You’ll pick it up quicker than you’d expect,” he smiled, “I promise.”

Most of your conversations over the past few days had been in English, per your request. Iwaizumi had complied. You were jealous of just how comfortable he seemed speaking the language. But the upside was that it’d only been a year for him. If he was already this good, then perhaps you could be, too.

“If you need help, just ask,” he said. He’d been saying that a lot recently.

You bit your lip, your gaze still turned towards the floor.

You couldn’t deny that he had, in fact, been exceptional. Anything you needed, he provided. Any question you had, he answered.

He’d helped you find your way around, showed you the best (and cheapest) places to hang out at, recommended the best dictionary apps, and he’d made you dinner every night.

He was looking after you. Well.

Perhaps that was why Tooru had been so keen on the idea of the two of you living together. If only he knew…

The car slowed to a stop. You jumped, too lost in your own thoughts to realise what was going on. Your head flew up, looking around like a meerkat.

Iwaizumi unbuckled himself and got out of the car, leaving you alone. You leant down and grabbed your bag, placing it in your lap.

Deep breath, you thought. You can do this.

Your door opened.

Iwaizumi was holding it open for you. Of course he was.

Part of you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d laid out a bloody carpet for you so you didn’t have to worry about the dirt.

You gave him a little nod of thanks as you got out of the car and slung your bag over your shoulder.

Oh. Oh.

“Well, this is it,” he said, gesturing to the cluster of buildings that laid before you.

It looked so clean, a concrete forest of russet. And it was so big. So ludicrously big.

How many people were here? How many people could fit on this campus? How easy was it to get lost? Just how many classrooms were there?

Seijoh had felt big to you, once. Now it seemed like just a blip.

“Where’s your class?” Iwaizumi asked, closing the door.

“Uh…” You fished your phone out of your pocket, showing him your timetable.

He looked at it for a moment before nodding. “Follow me.”

You scurried after him, trying to take stock of your surroundings as best you could. It was all so different – so big, so official, so… grown-up. This was certainly a place you could get lost in; would you even see most of it in the next four years? That seemed impossible.  

Iwaizumi walked slowly, letting you take your time. You said nothing as you ambled on, your mind racing. What did the inside of all these buildings look like? Which ones would your classes be in? What sorts of people would be in your classes? Would you make friends? Would you get a boyfriend?

“Hey.” Iwaizumi’s voice had that gentle firmness it always had when he was scolding Tooru.

“Hm?” You looked at him, a little confused.

“We’re here,” he nodded towards a big building to your left. You weren’t sure if you would’ve been able to distinguish it yourself if you’d been left to your own bearings.

“Thank you,” you smiled up at him. “You really didn’t have to.”

He shrugged. “I remember being intimidated by campus when I first came here. It’s easy to get lost, especially when you’re not fluent in English.”

That much was true. You were speaking to each other in Japanese, after all.

“Right…” You nodded.

“Good luck,” he nodded in return, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Thank you,” you said, giving him a small bow. It doesn’t feel like enough of the thanks for the last week.

Iwaizumi shook his head. “You don’t have to do that here.”

You straightened up and blinked at him. “Right.”

“Will you be able to get back alright?” He asked.

“Yes,” you said, with a little too much confidence. In all honesty, you have no idea if you could – something to do with buses, probably.

You couldn’t keep relying on Iwaizumi like this. It’s not that you’re humiliated, per se, but more that you didn’t want to be a burden.

You could do this. You could grab this new life of yours by the throat and take control.

But you also couldn’t ignore the hammering in your chest as you took your first steps into your undergraduate career.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Sorry about this,” you mumbled, biting the inside of your cheek as you slipped into the passenger’s seat.

“It’s fine,” Iwaizumi said, offering you a warm smile. Somehow he even managed to make the interior lighting of his car seem flattering.

You’d managed to make your way home on public transport well enough for the first few days, but all of your classes had finished before three in the afternoon.

Tonight’s class finished at six. The idea of trying to navigate your way back to the apartment had been more nerve-wracking than you could bear.

Your first instinct had been to call Iwaizumi.

A small irritation scratched at the back of your mind. It felt independence had just been in reach, tantalisingly close. But all of that bravery had ended up being an illusion. That’s how you felt, at least.

You bit back a sigh, gazing out the window.

The streetlights cast a warm glow on the pavement as a few students ambled along, rapt in conversation. Occasionally, their faces would light up with laughter – a cruel yet unintentional reminder that your own social life had been dead on arrival.

But you’re happy for these people, at least; loneliness was probably the hardest burden you’d had to bear so far. And you were living with the Iwaizumi Hajime.  

“How was your first week?” He asked.

“I’m doing okay,” you admitted. “Sometimes I don’t get what they’re saying, but… the lecture slides make it easier to follow along.” It got a little easier with each class, but you had the suspicion that it would take a while for you to properly adapt.

“Are your lecturers nice?”

You nodded. “Thankfully.”

“Good,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “And your classmates?”

You shook your head. “I haven’t spoken to any of them. Too scared.”

“Ah…” He was silent for a moment, seemingly turning something over in his head.

“What about you?” You asked, desperate to shift the attention away from your failed social life.

“It’s going well,” he nodded. “I’ve been able to get into the rhythm of it pretty quickly.”

“Good,” you smiled.

It’s understandable enough. He’d had a year to get used to the whole university thing.

How long was it going to take you? Were you ever going to get used to it? Or had this whole move been a big mistake, a risk you shouldn’t’ve taken just to prove you could do it?

You looked up at the sky. The stars weren’t as clear or bright as they were in Miyagi. You always looked up when you and Tooru walked home of an evening, after those long practice sessions he insisted on doing. Or when you and Amaya walked to either of your houses for a sleepover as she pointed at different constellations and told you the stories behind them.

Home felt so far away.

Would you ever feel like you belonged here?

“Hey,” Iwaizumi murmured.

“Hm?”

“Is it okay if I have some friends over tomorrow?”

Your stomach twisted. You weren’t sure why.

People you didn’t know in your house… It felt silly, finding it so scary.

But you weren’t going to deny him his social life.

“Sure,” you answered.

“Cool,” he breathed. He sounded genuinely relieved.

You bit the inside of your cheek. You were sure he was asking to be polite, but the guilt had already seeded itself in your mind. Did he really feel like he couldn’t have people over because you were there? Granted, it’d only been a week. Maybe he thought you weren’t quite settled yet.

God, why’d he have to go and be so considerate? He really was setting the standard too high.

“What do you want for dinner tonight?” He asked.

“I’m fine with anything,” you shrugged.

The least you could do in return for all the help he’d given you was be a respectful roommate.

✧ ✧ ✧

The sound of people engaging in conversation outside your room made your stomach swell.

A few hours ago, Iwaizumi had asked you if you’d like to introduce yourself to his friends. You’d agreed – it would probably do you some good to actually meet some people. He’d said they were all Japanese exchange students themselves, so communication shouldn’t be a problem.

Although, that didn’t make it any less stressful.

You took a deep breath, reaching for your door handle.

You could do this. You just needed to get over the awkward introduction.

The sound of laughter heightened as you pushed your door open, allowing yourself to catch sight of the small group gathered in the living room.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi waved at you, smile on his face and beer in hand.

“Hey,” you said quietly, holding a hand up in greeting.

His friends turned to look at you. You recognized some of the faces from the photos on the wall. Three guys, two girls.

“Hello!” One of the girls called out to you with a wave.

You nodded at her with a smile, taking a few tentative steps towards the group.

“This is Ren,” Iwaizumi said, gesturing to a guy with wavy black hair and bright eyes. He’s far too pretty to meet without a warning.

“Taiki,” Iwaizumi gestured to the boy standing to the left of Ren. He had close-cropped hair and muscles that almost gave Iwaizumi some competition. Almost.

“Mei.” She had long red hair and an enviable sense of style. She looked like the sort of girl you’d be terrified of approaching in high school, simply because she was far too cool for you.

“Haruto.” The guy with the kind smile and brown hair so soft you wanted to touch it. There’s something about him that almost reminds you of Tooru – if Tooru wasn’t such a brat.

“And Yuna.” The other girl, with a brown bob and such sharp eyeliner that you couldn’t help but wonder how stable her hand must be when applying it.

You felt a little embarrassed, just standing there in your lounge clothes; thank God it’s wasn’t your pyjamas, but they’re certainly not clothes you’d wear on a fun outing somewhere.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you blushed, looking at the floor.

A chorus of ‘you too’s erupted from the group, much louder than you’d expected. You managed to supress the urge to flinch.

“What’re your plans?” You asked.

“Oh, we’ll just be playing some board games,” Ren said, waving a hand at you.

“Right,” you nodded. You weren’t quite sure what you were expecting. They all had some kind of beer in hand, so you might’ve expected something a bit more… rowdy. But, you weren’t complaining.

“You should join us!” One of the girls – Yuna, was it? – smiled at you, the expression illuminating her entire face.

You considered it for a moment, each pro and con rushing through your head at lightning speed. You didn’t want to be rude, and it would be nice to spend some time with people other than Iwaizumi…

But they were his friends. Wouldn’t you be intruding? You didn’t want to just barge in and expect to be included just because you happened to live with him.

Yet at the same time, Yuna was smiling at you so kindly. Turning her down would feel rude.

“Sure,” you nodded.

Yuna ushered you over towards the couches, sitting you down next to her. Mei sat on your other side, offering you an unbearably pretty smile.

“What’re you doing?” You asked.

“It’s this card game,” Haruto explained, “each card has a symbol on it, see?” He held two cards up for you to see. Sure enough, both cards had a yellow diamond on them.

You nodded.

“So, they each have a category on them,” he said. You looked between both cards. It took you a moment as they were English words, but one said ‘film’ and the other said ‘animal.’

“Mhm.”

“Now all the cards are placed in a deck in the middle, and on your turn, you take a card and place it face up. If the symbol matches another card on the table, then you need to call out a word that belongs in the category of the other card,” he explained.

You nodded slowly. “So… if I had the animal card and you had the film card, I’d need to call out a film?”

“Exactly right,” he smiled.

“You’ll pick it up as you go along,” Iwaizumi reassured.

“Do I have to say it in English?” You asked.

Haruto shook his head. “You can say something in English or Japanese. No stress.”

“Thanks,” you smiled, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Alright, is everyone ready?” Taiki barked. “I wanna start!”

Suffice to say you didn’t do particularly well for the first few rounds.

It took you a little longer than everyone else to translate the English to Japanese, but you did manage to secure a few wins. Although, that was mainly won off the backs of other people’s mistakes – Taiki, for example, yelled out ‘plant’ for the category of ‘vegetable’.

After the second round, you got up and headed to the kitchen, intent on getting yourself a drink of water.

You opened the fridge door as quietly as you could, not wanting to disturb your guests. You grabbed the water jug, grimacing at how heavy it was.

When you closed it, Iwaizumi was standing right there.

“Fuck!” You jumped, a hand flying to your chest.

“Sorry,” he grinned. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

You glared at him for a second, only to give up as soon as your wrist started to ache.

“Are you doing alright?” He asked as you plunked the jug on the countertop.

“Yeah,” you nodded, opening one of your cupboards and grabbing a cup. “Yuna’s really nice.”

“Okay, good,” he smiled. From the look on his face, you guessed that he was relieved. “Don’t feel pressured to stay out here,” he said.

“It’s okay, really,” you shook your head, pouring some water into your glass. Some splashed onto the counter despite your best efforts – and you didn’t even have the excuse of being tipsy.

Iwaizumi nodded slowly, still smiling at you. His cheeks were a bit flushed; a key indicator that he was likely a handful of drinks away from ‘well and truly drunk.’

You held the water out to him instinctively. He took it from you, only for confusion to blossom across his face.

“Huh?”

“You should probably drink some,” you said, rather lost yourself. “So you don’t get a hangover.”

“Oh,” he swallowed. “Right.”

He brought the cup to his lips and tipped it back. You busied yourself with getting another glass – there was no way you were just going to stand there and watch him drink. God knew where your mind might go, and you didn’t like it.

“Let me know if you need anything,” Iwaizumi said, placing the now-empty cup back on the counter.

“Thanks,” you smiled.

Once you’d finally gotten your own cup of water (that you hadn’t handed to Iwaizumi for no good reason), you scampered back to the couch and settled down in your spot between Yuna and Mei.

They’d swapped the first card game out for another – the rules were that one person had a card with a word on it, and they had to try and explain it without using said word.

They cycled through a fair few games, burning through casket of beer after casket of beer. The hours burned on faster than you could keep track, but you didn’t mind. You were laughing too much to care.

“Oh, shit,” Iwaizumi mumbled, staring at his phone.

“Hm?” Taiki sniffed. His face was bright red, but he didn’t seem to care. “Is it Misaki?”

Iwaizumi nudged him with his knee as he grumbled something under his breath. Whether you liked it or not, the name Misaki was lodged firmly in the back of your brain.

“I was gonna say it’s three in the morning,” Iwaizumi grunted.

“Oh,” Yuna gasped, whipping out her own phone. “Fuck.”

“Do buses even run this late?” Mei grimaced.

“I have no idea,” Yuna bit her lip, her brow creasing.

“You guys can crash here if you want,” Iwaizumi offered.

“All of us?” Mei raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why not?” He asked.

“I don’t know about Yuna, but I don’t want to be snuggled up against any of these fools,” Mei grimaced, waving a hand at the three guys.

“What do you mean?” Ren whined.

“There’s only so much room on these couches,” Mei shrugged.

“I guess we can sleep on the floor,” Haruto mumbled.

“I’ve been told you snore,” Mei said.

“And?”

“I’m a light sleeper.”

Haruto scoffed. “How do you even know whether or not I snore?”

“Well, Maka—”

“Alright,” Haruto held his hands up, shaking his head.

An idea brewed in the back of your mind. It’s not a perfect solution, but it could certainly save any of them an early morning trek back to their own apartments.

You took a deep breath, trying to build up the confidence to speak up.

“The girls can stay in my room, if they’d like,” you said quietly.

Every head turned to face you. Yikes.

“Are you sure?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Mhm!” You nodded, trying to look as enthusiastic as possible. “I don’t mind. And I can promise you I don’t snore,” you said, turning to Mei.

She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re an angel.”

You beamed at that little affirmation.

“I owe you one,” Iwaizumi grinned, ruffling your hair fondly. Your cheeks bloomed red; although, that didn’t really stand out amongst this bunch.

You nodded at him, turning on your tail and fleeing to your room.

The girls were already in there, inspecting the wall above your desk. You’d stuck some photos up the other day on a whim; a bunch of polaroids and four-by-sixes arranged in something that resembled a neat collage.

“These are so cute,” Yuna cooed, turning to pout at you.

“Thanks,” you giggled.

“Look at you!” She whined, pointing at a picture of your graduation. Amaya and another one of your friends stand either side of you, your smiles bright and brilliant as you each cradled a bouquet of flowers. It might only have been a few months ago, but you felt like you looked far younger.

“You’re adorable,” Mei pouted.

It felt a bit weird, having people you barely knew in your space like this. But this was at least an echo of the college experience, right? Two drunk girls calling you cute while you were strikingly sober… Sounded about right.

It kind of reminded you of all those sleepovers during your school years. There’s something comforting in that.

Yuna suddenly froze.

“Everything alright?” You asked, tensing up yourself.

“Who is that?” She hissed, pointing at a new photo.

You stepped forward to get a better look at who she was talking about.

Oh. Tooru.

It’s a photo you’d taken with him last winter, when he’d come back to Japan for a week. By that time, he’d gotten quite tanned, and he’d really bulked up. Whatever he was doing in Argentina, it was paying off. Although, you could do without his bragging.

“That’s my brother,” you said, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. You didn’t mean any ill will; you were just quite used to girls asking you about your brother. Usually, you just told them they could do much better.

Yuna gaped at you. “Your brother?”

“Mhm,” you nodded. “He’s currently in Argentina.” You didn’t really know what else to say.

“That’s not that far away,” Mei mused.

“I’m pretty sure it’s still like… a twenty-hour flight away,” you giggled.

“But it’s closer than Japan,” Mei tsked.

“If your brother ever comes to visit,” Yuna said calmly, “let us know.”

You were about to respond when Yuna gasped loudly.

“Is that Hajime?” She hissed, pointing at another photo.

It’s one from Tooru’s graduation, this time. It’s also the only photo of Iwaizumi on your wall. Makki and Mattsun are also in it, grinning brilliantly as they held Tooru in a headlock. You were at the side, laughing at your brother, as Iwaizumi watched the scene fondly.

“Yeah,” you chuckled. “He’s best friends with my brother.”

“Aw, that’s so cute,” Mei cooed. “Why didn’t he ever tell us that his best friend looked like that?”

“You never looked at the photos out in the living room?” You asked.

“Oh,” Mei blinked. “Well, it looks like a bunch of men from far away, so I wasn’t interested.”

“I didn’t even realise there were photos in the front room,” Yuna mumbled.  

You giggled again, shaking your head. You had no idea how you were going to get these two to settle and go to bed, but you’re pretty sure you don’t regret letting them stay here.

This was the most fun you’d had ever since you landed in California.

✧ ✧ ✧

You’d balked when Iwaizumi had first promised to ‘teach you’ how to go grocery shopping.

But standing in the middle of the Asian Grocer, surrounded by more cuts of meat than you could ever conceive, you realised that it was wise to listen to what he had to say.

You’d spent an absurd amount of time going through each isle as Iwaizumi pointed out the bargains – many of which had to do with bulk buying – and discussing what the cheapest version of each item was, and when it was best to sacrifice cost for quality.  

“Oh, by the way,” he said, interrupting your intense observation of the swath of shaved pork staring at you from the freezer.

You turned to look at him expectantly.

“I didn’t say thanks for letting Yuna and Mei stay in your room.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry for putting that on you,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t expect everyone to stay so late.”

“I said it’s fine,” you chuckled. “I offered. And I wouldn’t have felt good about them all heading home that early in the morning.”

Iwaizumi smiled at you softly for a moment.

You swallowed, turning back to the meat. “They seem nice,” you said. You weren’t sure what else you were supposed to say.

Iwaizumi nodded. “Yeah. Taiki can be a brat though.”

“More or less of a brat than Tooru?” You grinned.

“Oh, less,” Iwaizumi answered immediately.

You giggled, opening the freezer and grabbing a random Styrofoam pallet of meat. You’d spent far too long in this section; long enough that you were getting cold.

“Where’d you meet them?” You asked, putting the pallet in the basket slung over Iwaizumi’s forearm.

“Uh, Taiki’s from the gym. The others are from the Japanese Students Association.”

Your ears perked up at that. “The Japanese Students Association?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “That’s where I met most of my friends, actually.”

“Really?”

“It’s much easier than making friends in your classes,” he smiled.

You chewed on your cheek for a moment. Admittedly, the whole ‘making friends in class’ plan wasn’t going well for you. There was hardly any time to properly socialise, and you never knew when it was okay to strike up a conversation. Maybe if you were still in Japan, you’d have an easier time navigating this torrid new social landscape.

But you just didn’t know what was considered rude or weird or even creepy here.

“You should join,” he suggested. When you caught his eye, he was already looking at you, a touch of concern on his brow.

“You think?”

“It’s a good way of getting to know people,” he shrugged. “I joined when I felt lonely last year.”

The words hit you harder than you thought they would. “I’m sorry,” you frowned.

“It’s fine,” he chuckled. “Anyway, they’re having a party soon.”

“Are they?”

He nodded. “To ‘kick off’ the semester or something. It’s really just an excuse to get shit-faced.”

You laughed. “Really?”

“That’s what all uni parties are for,” he grinned.

You considered it for a moment.

A party… you’d never really been to one before. Not an Americanised party, anyway. Not one where everyone got absurdly drunk.

Alone, surrounded by unfamiliar drunk people, in a city you don’t know…

Your stomach lurched.

You wanted to be brave. You wanted to put yourself out there. But the thought did nothing but make your skin crawl. Maybe you were just being paranoid, but it sounded dangerous.

“You okay?” Iwaizumi asked.

You blinked up at him. “Oh, yeah, I…” You turned your attention to the floor. “I just don’t think I’ll go.”

“Why not?”

“I think I’d just feel…” You paused for a moment, trying to think of the mildest way to say what you were feeling. “I think I’d feel a little uncomfortable.”

You braved a glance at him.

He was pressing his lips together, a thoughtful frown on his face.

A knot of guilt twisted in your stomach. You were making him worry again. That’s all you seemed to have done since you’d been here. You knew he’d offered to live with you, but it’s like you’ve been nothing but a burden ever since you’d arrived.

And you hated that more than anything. You hated making him worry. You hated giving him reason for concern. All because you couldn’t go to a stupid party on your own.

“I could come with you, if you’d like.”

His offer surprised you.

Maybe you should’ve expected him to say something like that. And usually, the thought of going to a party with him would make you feel like you wanted to throw up.

But you’d survived the past few weeks. And Iwaizumi looked like that. No weird asshole was going to try and approach you or make you feel uncomfortable if he was standing next to you.

“If it’s not too much trouble,” you said sheepishly.

Iwaizumi smiled, shaking his head. “Not at all.”

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - four

First Day

Warnings: mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of sex

[photo of Tallulah and Lina]

don't call me kid, don't call me baby, look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

Tallulah was the first one awake in the morning, the sunrise just peeking through her blinds as she laid in bed on her side, staring at the wall. She struggled to get back to sleep and tossed and turned, feeling an uncomfortable pit in her stomach that she decided had something to do with it being her first day at La Push Tribal School.

Starting a new school in the second semester of her senior year did not bother her as much as it should have, what concerned her more was that she was walking into a school that never gets new students, let alone mid semester. All eyes were going to be on her, and she was sure that some of them had already conjured up their own preconceived notions of her. Oh the joys of small town gossip, she thought to herself as she climbed out of bed, grabbing her clothes for the day. She told herself that making friends was not a must here, because as soon as she graduates she will be back in Seattle with her old, real friends, living the life that she wants to live. She could let herself be picky, or else she’ll end up with a Josie, who seems trustworthy on the outside, but isn’t in the end. Tallulah rolled her eyes at the thought itself, if that's how she wants to be then so be it.

Tallulah quickly changed into her black tank and oversized flannel shirt, before pulling on her jeans, she tried to tame her hair without ruining her natural waves into a frizzy mess. She wasn't one for much makeup, especially not for school considering the frequent rain on pacific northwest.

Rushing downstairs to the kitchen, the uncomfortable pit curbing her appetite, Tallulah settled on just coffee, as she poured it into her mug she had grabbed from the cupboard, she heard footsteps entering the kitchen. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Lenna out of the corner of her eye, all dolled up as if she were going to Paris Fashion Week.

“I heard about what Josie did.” Lenna stated as she searched through the fridge, “you’ll get used to it.” This made Tallulah scoff audibly, “get used to being thrown under the bus for doing absolutely nothing wrong beside talking to some guy I’ve never even met before yesterday?” she asked sarcastically, turning to face her younger sister, mug in hand. “No, well, yes. It just means she did something she doesn’t want to get in trouble for, so she throws gasoline on someone else's fire to make it seem bigger than the one she started.” She keeps her eye on the tall, raven-haired girl as she closes the door, “She means well Tally.” I bet, she thought to herself. Maybe this is what sisters do, and she's the one that's being unreasonable. To be fair, she's never had to deal with someone snitching right in front of her face to her mother. At least she had the guts to do it at the dinner table.

She watched as Lenna looked over her outfit, making a face that Tallulah couldn’t quite comprehend, “is there something wrong with my outfit?” she asked, eyebrows raised in challenge. Lenna shook her head, “Nope, not at all. Between that, the tattoos and the nicotine addiction, I’d say you’ll fit right in with a few groups at school. I can point them out if you’d like, I heard dad tossed your vape maybe you can snag one today.” Tallulah shook her head before taking a sip of her cooling coffee, “I can make my own friends, and I’m not addicted” she fought the urge to roll her eyes again as their dad walked into the kitchen, clearly dressed for work. “Tally, Lenny, ready for school? Dakota picked up your sister already this morning, something about a project that's not finished yet” the short laugh that came from Lenna did not go unnoticed by Tallulah, but she said nothing, nodding her head at her fathers question. “I have to go to a tribal meeting tonight with Kira, so it’s going to be pizza for dinner, Lenny can pick it up on her way home from work, right Len?” he asked as he filled his to-go mug with coffee, even though he really wasn't asking, “Tal,” he said, looking directly at his eldest daughter, “I know this has been a big change in just a few days, but you’re doing great kid, but let's keep those rules in mind when making friends today,” clearly referring to something she has no clue about. “So, you mean I can’t skip school and sneak Paul through my window while you’re gone?” she joked half heartedly. She had no intention of ever speaking to him today, but seeing the looks on Lenna and their dad's face was probably the best start to her day she was going to get. She finished off her coffee and placed her mug in the sink, grabbing her book bag from the counter and heading to the front door, yelling ‘kidding!’ over her shoulder as she left, while her dad yelled ‘have fun!’ right back at her.

Tallulah drove in silence to the school, following the directions Josie had shown her during their day out, for once wanting to be early. She wanted to scope out all her classrooms beforehand to minimize the amount of interaction she would have to have with anyone in order to just keep her head down and float by as unnoticed as she could.

As she pulled into the small parking lot there were very few students and teachers mulling around. The school itself was small, only two stories, with a few portables that were quite run down. Nothing like her old school of 5000 students, every hallway crowded and parking lot full every day.

Tallulah parked her car and pulled out her phone from her pocket, checking the few messages she had, despite it only being 8 in the morning. One message was from her mom, wishing her well on her first day, telling her she had shipped the rest of her personal belongings that she may want or need and that she loved her. Tallulah rolled her eyes, she loved her so much she didn’t want to deal with her anymore. She checked some more of her messages and replied to those that warranted them only stopping as the incoming call notification lit up her screen.

A photo of Lina, her best friend, and her graced the screen, she quickly hit accept before placing the phone to her ear, breathing out a quickie ‘hello’. The two haven’t been able to have a conversation in days to discuss the tragedy that had unfolded the night her mom caught her sneaking into her bedroom, the dramatic gasp on the other line made her smile, “You picked up!” Lina all but shouted excitedly, before saying to someone else ‘told you she would’, clearly she wasn’t alone. “Of course I did, Li. Just because I've been shipped off to the middle of nowhere doesn’t mean I dropped out of school.” she said looking at the tiny building, that more students were now filing into. “Besides, I always answer your calls.” she stated, which made Lina laugh into the phone, “Right, right. Well I was just calling to see how you were, Kits here too.” she said and she could hear Kit bid a hello in the background, “and we wanted to invite you to this party that's happening at some club in Port Angeles next Friday. We figured it would give you some time to ask your dad if you can come or plan an escape. He can’t keep you from us forever.” she rambled, clearly excited.

She knew what club she was talking about, they had been planning on going once they had all turned 18. As exciting as it sounded, she knew her dad would never go for it, and sneaking out to Port Angeles and back would be next to impossible. “I don’t know about that, Li, but I'll try. I’m sure I could convince him to let you guys come out here if he doesn’t budge?” she asked absentmindedly, hoping she’d take the bait. Tallulah listened as Lina talked to someone away from the speaker before hearing the phone be passed to someone new, she furrowed her brows at the silence before the new speaker breathed out, “Luie.”

Xander.

The only person on planet earth who was allowed to call her ‘Luie’. The nickname started with him and ended with him. She hated the nickname when he had first started using it, he would say it in such a condescending way. Like he was reprimanding a child, but it grew on her as her relationship with him developed. They had never dated, but everyone assumed they were with how touchy-feely they were with each other. But, they both hated commitment, saying that it was the root of all sadness, and they had enough of that in their life already. As if that stopped them from hurting each other anyways. Xander was all of her firsts, first friend, first kiss, first time drinking alcohol with him, first cigarette, first time sneaking out, and first hookup. It's why she always went back to him after a fight, no matter how bad it was, all her good memories are tied to him.

“Hey, Xan” she said softly, “Are you coming to Port Angeles for the party?” he asked in a nonchalant tone, knowing she could never say no to him. “I want to..” she started, “But no promises. My dads a lot stricter compared to my mom.” Tallulah heard him grunt in acknowledgment. He wasn’t going to beg, or plead her to come like Kit or Lina would, he knew he didn’t have to. “Well, let us know, ya?” he stated, voices in the background signaled that they were most likely getting ready to take the train to school, like she would be in normal circumstances. “Oh, and Luie, have a don’t do anything I wouldn’t do on your first day.” she could practically hear the grin that she knew he had before the line went dead, he wasn’t much for formal goodbyes.

Sighing, she shoved her phone in her pocket before exiting her car, grabbing her bag off of the passenger seat and slinging it over her shoulder. She made sure to lock the car before placing her keys in her bag and grabbing her timetable as she walked towards the entrance of the school. She was too busy trying to figure out what classroom she needed to head to first that she wasn’t paying any attention to any of her surroundings. Hence why she walked head on into someone, dropping the white sheet of paper in the process. Hot hands steadying her by the arms. It felt as if she had walked straight into a brick wall, she would’ve laughed it off if it wasn’t the root of all her problems so far in La Push.

“Are you stalking me?” she asked the older man, everywhere she went, there he was. Paul shook his head with a chuckle, causing the teen to glare up at him. “Well aren’t you a little too old to be hanging around a high school?” she questioned, arms crossing over her body as the heat from his hands had made her realize just how cold it was outside once they were off of her. “Relax, I was just dropping someone off.” he stated, his voice was deeper than it was the day before, like he had just woken up. She averted her eyes from him as she could feel the blush heat to her face at how silly she must have sounded. Of course that's why he's here. She hadn’t realized he had picked up her schedule for her until he read out a name from it, “First period: Miss. Young.You’ll like her, everyone does.” he said while handing her back the slip. She nodded her head, “right, well i should go find her class then.” she mumbled as she took a step back from him, he responded by giving her the directions to the class, which made her want to question how he knew that but Tallulah wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer, so instead, she thanked him and walked away heading towards the front doors, each step closer she filled more and more with dread, wanting to turn around and get in her car and drive away as far as she could.

She turned back to where she had left Paul standing to see him still there, only now he was talking on the phone. His whole demeanor had changed, he looked rigid and frustrated. Before she turned to completely walk through the doors, he caught her eye and gave her a small smile, the feeling of dread dissipating in that moment as she entered her new school.

[seiin-translations]

2.43 S1 Chapter 1.5 - Young Yunichika

5. INTERMISSION

Finally came to terms with the fact that the dialects are going to be an on and off thing

Translation Notes

1. A zabuton is a flat floor cushion for kneeling

Previous || Index || Next

Haijima did not go to the end-of-term ceremony, but his absence wasn’t much of a topic in class. The ceremony ended without a hitch, and the classroom was filled with the excited buzz of spring break mood. While thinking, I wish I didn’t bring it today, as he felt annoyed by his bulky enamel bag, when he was about to go home…

“Oi, Yuni. Hmm? Haijima’s not here?”

The one who showed his face at the classroom’s door was the teacher who served as the advisor for the boys’ volleyball team. He didn’t seem to have any volleyball experience and was a ghost advisor until now, but unluckily—should that be said?—his work had been increasing lately due to Haijima’s transfer.

“He’s absent today, Haijima.”

“If that’s the case, then you’ll do. Here.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m second-best to Haijima. What’s this…Ah.”

When his eyes dropped to the printout passed to him, he saw that it was a timetable for the days the gym was used during spring break.

“There aren’t any other clubs that used the gym so much during spring break, so I got all the days you wanted easily. What are you going to do?”

“Ugh…”

For almost every day during the break, “Boys’ volleyball” was written in one of the three boxes of morning, noon, and afternoon (and two boxes in succession depending on the day!) without fail.

It would be a good opportunity for Haijima to practice intensively, but…we finally have not that much homework, so I wanna do something more…Doesn’t that guy have anything else he wants to do? Is it normal for prestigious sports clubs to have such a practice schedule for long vacations? I see, there’s an unsurpassable gap between them and small public sports clubs like us.

Despite feeling fed up, he stuffed the printout into his bag and said, “I’ll give it to Haijima.”

“I’m countin’ on you. But I really wish you’d put yourself in my shoes. Your advisor has to be with you pretty much be with you everyday. My long-awaited vacation…”

The advisor’s awareness was increasing with this.  

***

Certainly, he remembered that it was this house when it was right before him. Warm lanterns lit up the four corners of his memories that had been closed in by a monochrome snowscape, vivid color returned, sounds could be heard, and images came alive.  

Most of time, Kuroba just waited for “Chika” to come and play. Chika’s grandfather only brought him along when he came to play shogi with Kuroba’s grandfather. Even though Chika promised every time before he went home that “we’ll definitely play tomorrow too,” it was always up to their two grandfathers when they would be able to play together again, and the two of them were too young to decide.

Kuroba had only gone to Chika’s house once. They were supposed to be able to play together today, but he heard that Chika couldn’t come because he had a fever and threw a tantrum about going to visit him. He just wanted to play with him, of course, while using visiting him as an excuse.

He forced Chika, who was laid up with his pale face flushed, to get up and then compared their cards. His cheeks were gradually swelling up, so Kuroba cackled about how funny his face looked and Chika got cranky. Chika had mumps—at that time his grandparents didn’t even notice, and that night, the Kuroba house got a panicked phone call and Kuroba later developed symptoms of the mumps he got right from Chika.

His memories were being recalled one after the other, and the jumble of nostalgia and embarrassment filled his body with an itchy feeling.

“Ooe…”

He was confused for a moment when he saw a nameplate that wasn’t Haijima’s surname, but that was natural because this was his maternal grandparents’ home. He left the front door temporarily and strolled along the fence. This fence seemed towering in the past, but now he could easily look into the garden if he rose on his heels a little. On this early afternoon in the middle of March, the storm door on the porch was wide open, even though at this time of the day when the temperature was at its highest, it might or might not reach ten degrees Celsius.

Haijima was lying around on the porch.

“…?”

The heck is he doing?

He thought, knitting his brows and staring. His spindly back was facing this side, and it seemed like he was just rolling around without a pillow or zabuton. (1) He was wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants, and his feet were bare under this wintry sky. You could see from his getup that he didn’t feel like going to school from the start, which he felt a bit exasperated by.

“Haijimaaa!”

He called out to him beyond the fence, but got no answer.

“Hey!”

He thought he was being ignored, but he could see headphones buried between his hair.

“Yes, yes, who is it…oh my, aren’t you the young master of the head house?”

A petite old lady who emerged from the Japanese-styled room inside answered instead. It was the old lady who accompanied him on his first day. “He-hello,” Kuroba said, making a shy smile.

“You can’t come in from over there, so please go around to the front. Kimichika, won’t you get up if you’re not going to sulk in bed? You really are only getting taller and taller, and it is getting to be a bother. The measure on the porch won’t be enough before long.”

“What…”

Pulling off his headphones roughly, Haijima groaned in annoyance and got up.

“Haijima.”

When he called his name again, that back stiffened in surprise. He lowered his headphones to his neck, put on his glasses and turned around to him. There was an adhesive bandage pasted diagonally above his right eye and on his right temple. He got cut by the snow when Yorimichi knocked him down.

“…I’ll be right there.”

He didn’t look eager, but he said that and quietly got up.

“What are you saying? I told you to get out of the cold already.”

“So noisy, geez…”

Maybe his grandmother’s speech rubbed off on him, but there was a bit of dialect mixed into his words when he cursed in irritation. Just for a moment, he connected with the “Chika” Kuroba remembered in the same picture as this house in his mind.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

After he went around to the front and waited before the gate, Haijima came out, dressed as how he was earlier with just his bare feet stuffed in sneakers. When he gave him the printout of the practice days he was entrusted with, he only gave the weak reaction of “Aah…”, and then silence. He was the kind of guy who would never be unenthusiastic when it came to volleyball, but today he looked awfully lifeless. It was like at the moment he grabbed Yorimichi, some big circuit within his body got burned out.

He cleared his throat to shake off this awkward atmosphere and broke the ice.

“Um, you know, I’ve decided that I’m not gonna hang out with Yori-chan for a while, and I’ll make sure things won’t turn out like how you’re worried they will…Er, I think I’m starting to enjoy volleyball, and I wanna play it a bit more. So, don’t tell me to quit right now…”

Haijima raised his eyes from the printout. Due to the bandage, he seemed to have difficulties opening his right eye, making his expression look even worse than usual. His eyeballs lightly swam back and forth, like he was searching for the words he lost sight of. Is he lost? That’s rare.

“…Um, that thing.”

A mumble came from the tip of his pouting lips.

“Anything, after that…”

Haijima, who wasn’t supposed to have words like ��mumbling” or “hemming and hawing” inputted in his head, was hesitating greatly to say something. From that…? Was he worrying about whether or not Kuroba knew the rest of Yorimichi’s story? That Haijima cared about someone’s reaction? Mm, this guy’s acting pretty weird today.

He purposely sighed hard. He didn’t want to see Haijima so beaten in and down like this. Well, the usual Haijima was troublesome in his own way.

“I’m telling you, I didn’t hear anything from Yori-chan, and I didn’t look you up at all.”

It was half a lie. He did try to look him up. But he couldn’t say that honestly in front of Haijima. Unlike him, he could even lie to avoid hurting the person right in front of him.

Haijima’s expression was still sullen. Does he not trust what I say that much?

“You know I hang around with Yori-chan, right? Grandpa and all our relatives have branded him as a big fool and gave up on him, but I know that he has his good points too. No matter what anyone says, I hang around with him because I like him. So, what I want to say is that it doesn’t matter to me what those Tokyo guys, whose faces or names I don’t even know, want to say about you. Why should I rely on what some guy far away says about you when you’re right in front of me?”

He was desperate to know what happened in Tokyo, but he just didn’t have the courage to press the “enter” key. Now that he thought about it, it wasn’t that he stopped halfway because he wasn’t brave enough; it was because he wasn’t brave enough that he tried to look him up.

“That’s why, I’ll make up my own judgement about you.”

His ears turned hot as he said something that was kind of awkward and clumsy. He was so embarrassed that his legs wanted to escape from that spot, and he bounced on his heels as he said it. His enamel bag swung behind his back. Did he get through to him? He was someone whose understanding of Japanese was quite worrying after all. He was curious as to what kind of face he would make. But he couldn’t look him straight in the eye.

Oh well, if I can see him tomorrow, that probably means it got through. Spring break is packed with club activities after all.

“So, see you at school tomorrow.”

Previous || Index || Next

[sophistopheles]

Could Ace Attorney news reasonably be announced at TGS 2020?

I say yes, because I’m a sucker and I never learn my lesson.

First, let’s talk timetables. (All times given are in UTC/GMT).

Essentially, Capcom has three events laid out: the 1-hour special panel on the 25th, and the two 3-hour livestreams on the 26th and 27th.

The Special Panel is said to contain “reveals and latest game updates for titles such as Resident Evil Village and more!” The chance of Ace Attorney 7 being announced here certainly exists. This panel takes place at 13:00 GMT on Friday the 25th.

The first livestream is three hours long, and a schedule for it has already been released: Street Fighter 5 for 50 minutes, Monster Hunter for 1 hour 40 minutes, then a mysterious "additional information" segment for 30 minutes. This “additional information” may well be an unannounced game- possibly Ace Attorney 7. The livestream is on Saturday the 26th, begins at 12:00 GMT (midday) and ends at 15:00; the additional information segment is at 14:30, if you want to tune in then.

The second livestream is the same length as the first, and has a similar schedule: DMC5 for 30 minutes, another cryptic "additional information" section for 10 minutes, 1 hour of Resident Evil, and a huge 1 hour 20 minutes of "additional information". The final additional information segment is way too long to be a merch reveal or so on; the likelihood this is an unannounced game is very high, and yes, it could be AA7. This livestream is on Sunday the 27th, begins at 12:00 and ends at 15:00 like the other one; the “additional information” sections are at 12:30 (the ten-minute one) and 13:40 (the 80-minute one).

So yeah, they’ve absolutely got time to announce the game. It’s possible that they’ve kept so quiet about any announcement because they’re trying a different marketing strategy after 2018′s well-memed “unmissable” panel.

But wait, there’s more. Let’s talk about marketing for a second (under read-more)

Most people are aware of the Capcom icon giveaways- so far they’ve released a Maya and a Phoenix icon in celebration, among other franchises. As of the 17th September, these are the franchises with icons released, and their presence at TGS.

Street Fighter V (6 icons, confirmed heavy presence at tgs)

Resident Evil (5 icons, confirmed very heavy tgs presence)

Sengoku Basara (1 icon, no presence but had a 15th anniversary game released earlier this year)

Captive Palm (3 icons, no presence but had a sequel game released in March and a Switch port last year)

Shinsekai Into the Depths (1 icon, no presence but was released this year)

Megaman (2 icons, one celebrating a legacy edition of the Zero/ZX released earlier this year)

Devil May Cry (2 icons, confirmed presence at tgs)

Ace Attorney (2 icons, nothing yet confirmed...)

In short, ALL of the games which have been given icons either had a game released during this year, or will have a game showcased at TGS. 

Needless to say, AA has had no game in 2020. What other conclusion could I draw?

Finally, let’s discuss that special TGS sale for ALL Ace Attorney games on 3DS. There’s precedent for big sales on all AA games immediately before the announcement of a new one. And, well... if all we’re getting are ports, then why would they be encouraging people to buy the games cheaply now? They didn’t do any sale like this prior to the AA trilogy being released on Switch.

TL:DR; I think this might be it, guys.

[lurkingleighbee]

Thrawn Ascendancy: Chaos Rising (Chapter One - Chapter Four)

Heavy spoilers below! 

Chapter One

Space outside Chiss borders is known as “the Chaos”

Space is very difficult to navigate due to (according to legends within the text itself) a “series of chained supernova explosions” that sent a massive, chaotic chain reaction throughout the region, resulting “in the constantly changing hyperlanes,” hence the need for sky-walkers. 

The Chaos also holds “dangers... hidden worlds and tyrants who sought conquest and destruction.” Dun dun dun! 

General Ba’kif seems to be on the same level, intelligence wise, as Thrawn. It is a good pairing thus far. Zahn gets to show Thrawn being super smart and observant without it being too much. 

Excellent summation of Thrawn:

loves chasing down enigmas and working through puzzles

sees connection where others can’t/couldn’t

higher-ups don’t want him anywhere near them 

only sees the surface situation and misses the political subtleties

I like this Samakro guy. No-nonsense and straight to the point. 

Thrawn really is the only Chiss, really the only person, who talks the way he does. Making him stick out all the more. Who taught him to talk like that? Where did he learn how to talk like that? I need some more background on lil’ Thrawn! 

“subsequent death of Syndic Mitth��ras’safis and the loss of valuable alien technology.” 

don’t do that to us Zahn, damn 

Outbound Flight slowly coming back into canon, piece by painful piece (Thrass!! Lorana! C’baoth!?... we will have to wait and see)

Memories II

So, my first impression of sky-walkers is that they are like children caught in a messy, contentious divorce. At least in the case of Ali’astov, she is used like a pawn between fighting parties and kind of neglected until deemed useful again. 

world-building: sky-walkers abilities typically last until they are age 14

Thrawn is genuinely nice to kids/tweens and connects with them so well. That is really sweet. 

Al’iastov comes across as pessimistic and sulky but to be fair to her - she was taken from her home at a young age, lost her Third Sight ability, and is now being shunted to a new family. That is a lot for a 13-year-old. 

Chapter Two

Thalias joined the Mitth family because one person from that family showed her a bit of kindness. Yikes. 

Her early life suggests it was unstable at best - got punted around to different caregivers. 

And does Thalias have a crush on Thrawn or just a strong attachment? 

Good to see there is plenty of bureaucratic bullshit within the Ascendancy (I say, sarcastically) on top of the politics. 

who alerted Thurfian he needed to help Thalias? I have to assume they have systems in place for detecting this, but he came in at just the right time. 

So it had been two decades since Thalias “had to even read a military timetable”... so is she 33-ish? 

Thalias finds the sky-walker playing some sort of “tap-click game on her questis.”

Is that some sort of Chiss version of Angry Birds or Candy Crush?

Does this mean there are app/game developers within the Chiss workforce? Interesting... 

Che’ri - means “beloved,” “cherished,” “darling”, “sweetheart” in French

nearly 10 years old

odd comment: “sky-walkers tended to be on the short side.” What does that mean? 

had eight caregivers before Thalias shows up?! Dang. 

cute quote: “I am not supposed to talk like that about people.”

Yeah, just not in public! 

nut-paste sandwiches are now canon!

Thrawn must have been a cat in a past life because:

he is sneaky

he is quiet 

he has a hard time relating to actual people with few exceptions 

he needs constant care because if not, he will inevitably mess something up 

Ar’alani: Thrawn, what in the flying fuck do you think you’re doing?! Get back into formation!

Thrawn: reads the message, does not respond

this jerkwad. I love him. And poor Ar’alani, she has been dealing with him for years, if not decades! 

Ar’alani: Mind keeping me in the loop going forward?

Thrawn: mmmm... maybe. 

Thrawn: “I’ve had the protocols concerning preemptive attacks carefully and specifically laid out for me.”

Yeah, I bet you have. 

Samakro thoughts: “Just because the protocols had been laid out for him didn’t necessarily mean he’d listen.”

Protect Samakro.  

Memories III

Irizi’ar’alani - her full name. :) Had to give it up when she joined the military. 

Mitth family cannot be bothered to show up for their adopted son’s hearing. Eesh. 

Ar’alani has literally been saving Thrawn’s neck since their school days.

Ar’alani is good at reading a room, calling for backup when needed, and condensing/explaining information. No wonder she is a good leader. No wonder Thrawn relies on her! 

Chapter Three

Senior Captain Wutroow: “bogus. Totally bogus. Bogus to the ninth, factorial.”

I love her already

She and Ar’alani make a solid team. Ar’alani comes across more by-the-book and stately, whereas Wutroow seems a bit more loose and crafty. 

I am really enjoying getting to learn more about Ar’alani. Zahn wrote her so well. 

Again, the Mitth family letting Thrawn out to dry. Why adopt him then?! You can’t even help out your adopted son!?

Thrawn is known for being that fucking guy who loves art all the way up to the higher echelons of power. He is an outcast and the butt of a joke to his own kind. It’s funny and a bit sad (but mostly funny). 

Chapter Four

It makes me so uncomfortable that sky-walkers are told/encouraged to push on and on and on some more, despite the heavy toll on them. Reminds me a bit of America’s grind till you die approach to work and of the Soviet Union’s hard push to make everyone perform at impossibly high standards. These are little kids and tweens. Cut them some slack. 

Zahn really nailed down the sad/pathetic narcissism kids/tweens have at that age - everything is her fault, everything happens because of her. 

Get the girl some therapy, STAT. 

A bit weird that a 10-year-old girl needs a bath drawn for her, but maybe the overload spell is akin to a really bad hangover or the flu. You cannot function properly and need some help. 

Samakro got some sass. 

the chapter ending is so gold:

“You think there’ll be combat at the other end of this trip?”

“Thrawn’s there,” Ar’alani reminded her. “So, yes, I’d say that’s pretty much guaranteed.” 

Wince Count

I have noticed Zahn really likes to use the word wince, so I’m going to count all the times the word is used throughout this novel for sh*ts and giggles. Thus far: 5 cumulative uses of the word. 

[shadowdianne]

Half of it: Reunion

Welp. I threw this one in just 40 minutes the day I watched the movie. Didn’t proof-read it much afterwards and I merely thought on sending it to the roomie -narrows eyes at the Tumblr darkness: M, give me your Tumblr pretty pls.- But I guess... why not sharing it here xD

Attention: Not many spoilers or plot points discussed aside from, you know, the obvious. At any case proceed with caution if you haven’t watched it yet.

The air was icy when the train stopped, the rails whining at the sudden halt and by the time Ellie jumped out of compartment, boots firm against the pebbled road, she breathed in the scent of asphalt and soon-to-be snow that permeated the nighttime breeze.

She could have gotten in town much earlier, when the night wasn’t a shadow already passed over the horizon. On her wrist, dutifully annotated, where the timetables of the different trains that would have run from her campus to her childhood home but she had felt reluctant to do so and when she squared her shoulders and brought her right hand back to where she had put her trolley with a heavy thud mere moments before, she nibbled into her bottom lip, nerves getting the best of her once again.

It wasn’t the city on itself, she told herself as she started to walk towards her right, the train groaning as it picked up speed once more. She hadn’t felt a reaction inside of her the moment the rails had curled and run through the few and distant buildings that signaled the line between forest and town. The lush green marred with salt-peppered grey concrete had made her smile for once after all: the knowledge that she wasn’t stuck but merely passing a different kind of feeling to get drunk into once she realized that she had left for good. Yet, as she walked past the rails and the small cabin she had spent so much in, nerves didn’t quite leave her lungs. Spreading, mutating, they formed a tight ball around her throat that made her swallow by the time she reached her home, her former home.

She knew her father was inside, the lights on the kitchen’s window enough to tell her she had already been spotted by the man and the sounds coming from the ajar door signaling that he had already put a film to watch together while they ate. This time, though, the one he was probably giving her like every other pause he now used to give her whenever she called, amidst exams and outings and books that should be read for the next class she was supposed to take, a whirlwind of unspoken understanding.

He had never quite asked her why she had trouble wondering what life was back in town whenever she asked about Paul work. She suspected that, eventually, it didn’t matter how far off he was from the little town’s busy life: rumors were unperturbable to time. It was only a matter of it before he got to hear what had happened months ago. She would answer the questions that would spill of course, but she doubted very much that the man would ever question her.

And that, she considered while she pushed the door open, was as much of a blessing as it was a curse.

Not that she hadn’t talked to others about what had happened during her last months of her senior year. Private as she was there were things that eventually spilled out of one’s mind. Even if one didn’t want it so. But she still wondered if she would feel raw or betrayed if her father questioned it, if he told her to confide in him.

Morose wasn’t a feeling she often felt like but the thought of being halfway through her university career, the two years bell having been ringing on her ears ever since she had turned her last paper in, felt like a looming doom that she couldn’t run fast enough from. Which was probably the reason why that, when her father had asked her if she would be up for a small reunion of two to three days using up the few days between papers and the time she would need to go back to her in-university job, she had said yes.

Maybe to show him that there was nothing new about herself. Maybe to tell herself that there was, in fact, something.

Nevertheless, she took the last steps and smiled at his silhouette, at the way his shoulders hunched and moved as he stepped forward to hug her. Short, brief, awkward. They still were after all. That much hadn’t changed.

Patting his back, she looked around, spotting the bag that was emblazoned with Munsky’s Dinner symbol. The telling note on how his father has kept contact with the little glance of the outside world that she had brought into those years ago.

“You look good.” She said, words rusty but language prevailing and Edwin nodded curtly with just a shadow of a smile curving his lips. It felt good, she thought, pointing at what had been her room, trolley still behind her, secure on her already freezing hand. “Let me change and we can start dinner.”

He said nothing to her, merely remaining busy while she climbed up and by the time she reached the last few steps she tucked her chin into her chest, content and less anxious that there hadn’t been any tearful reunion nor cutting questions into the what or how. Pushing the trolley until it stopped at the end of her bed, she glanced around, flinching ever so slightly at the empty feeling of the room; the thought of being trespassing into a person she had been once not quite hitting her as strongly as she had feared it would. She hadn’t changed that much obviously. But there were things, small things, that made her look at the wood on the walls and the rickety pieces of written papers on the side table, before glancing towards the duvet, expecting almost to see something there, a letter that could have been sent but had never reached her for a reason she would get to listen to later.

Her bed was empty, though, devoid of a letter, and she looked at the window in where the dying lights of orange-ish lamps pooled around the rails as they mixed with the grey smoke that seemed to permanently come off from the nearby road. The one she had taken time and time again to get to school.

In there, dividing the slope that would eventually turn to the town proper, the stone wall made of red bricks blinked into existence. She hadn’t looked towards it when she had gotten off the train, the metal shielding her from it, the thought of seeing her father blinding her to anything else. Which, perhaps, had been her error because there, waiting, cans of paint and a blank slate of white painted over the red awaited her with one single word written in deep blue. The kind of one that could be water if one tilted their head enough, eyes narrowing until the lights hurt less.

“Hello.”

And it could be a message to anyone. It probably was, her rational part whispered to her as she turned and stormed out of the room, trolley forgotten, patterns of dust imprinted on her boots. But she had shared enough letters to recognize the handwriting, enough, she hoped, to be able to link to them in a second. And not like she hadn’t looked at the string of messages they had one shared a few times during her stay; hoping against hope to be on the receiving end of a message that would telegraph the longing she herself felt. Eventually, she had realized that she could also be the one sending a message, three dots that would eventually turn into a confession with a much deeper meaning that the one she had almost shouted to everyone in the midst of a proposal that should have never happened. And, at the thought of doing that, at the weight that on itself had brought upon her mind, she had revoked herself from the sentiment: unsure if she was strong enough to bear it.

It had been a fling. She had told herself. An almost maybe. A promise in the shape of a kiss in the middle of an empty road; a brave yet stupid declaration that had kept her on stitches every time she considered coming back there for just a spell. No one should weigh themselves for the things they did back when they were 17.

No one should be that cruel.

Her father said nothing as she run past him, the handle on the main door frozen beneath her fingertips, the shock minute with the way she pulled it back towards her as she stepped into the road once again. Crossing to the other side of the road she stood at the brink of the now empty rail, her boots straining against the metal, the sole of her feet protesting. Beneath the cans, tucked away, a note laid, paper that felt as if it could fling against her fingers if she wished hard enough. Crouching next to the cans, one hand caressing the paint, feeling the coldness coming from it, the slowly drying white, she unfolded the note with two fingers and her teeth, moving the paper away from her as she refused to move her other hand away from the wall.

“I wasn’t sure then. I am now.”

She tried to laugh, a blubber escaping her lips, peal of bubbles that piled up within her as she looked up.

It had been two years. Two stupid years made in a dare, in a flamboyant act of selfish righteousness. But she had gotten to learn that she could be selfish on her own love. If that made sense. It the words she had uttered had been something beyond an escapist explanation of why she had ever convinced herself that what she was doing was nothing but right. It shouldn’t be this complicated. It didn’t need to be. She had gotten the taste of how it could not be if she dared to look past the circle she had put herself in once.

And then, as a distant nagging sensation, her phone buzzed on her back pocket. Once, twice.

She never got to see what it was, as she heard the pebbles sliding off the path when a new set of boots moved in closer, waiting for her to look up.

Aster’s was looking at her with the same intensity she had once upon a time looked at her, when they had been in the lagoon and Ellie had thought she would combust if she ever dared to ask to feel her fingers around her forearms once more as she battled for a shirt that she had felt unsafe enough, exposed enough, to keep on wearing. She had her phone on her hand, the light illuminating her skin, her wrist, her nails. She had a stroke of dyed color on her hair. Not clear enough for the descending light to catch on it but deep enough for her eyes to pause on it, on the way it framed her eyes, her face, her smile. Pointing towards the wall, she shrugged half-way.

“Paul told me you’d be here. I wanted to leave as soon as you saw…. But I couldn’t.”

There were hundreds of questions Ellie felt like asking, and some others she didn’t feel like questioning. She could feel her father’s eyes on the kitchen’s windowsill, the scent of already heated food reaching them both as she stood, slowly, while curling her fingers, forming a ball she now made it reach the front pocket of her parka, skin wet and crackling from the humid paint.

She had wondered. Of course, she had. She had expected herself to be bolder in front of Aster only due to the years that had passed, for the exhilarating thought of maybe she being right.

She was none of those things: she felt robbed of both voice and temper. There was nothing but the ache on her muscles of thousands of steps never taken. Yet, she realized that she quite liked the thought: of the possibility that the message on her phone could be, even if she never dared to look at it.

“It’s been two years.” Her voice felt rough at the back of her throat, her tongue like wood and sand, the same sand she hadn’t gotten to see until she had left. And even then. Aster halted at her, lips half-closed, a look of recognition shining through her eyes. Laughing weakly, she nodded again, giving her a second half-shrug, this time aimed at both, rather than the wall that now extended at Ellie’s right, like a page about to be filled.

“You said two.”

“I said two.”

It was an idiotic set of words, combinations and grammar be dammed. Yet Ellie laughed a little as they kept on looking at each other. As if expecting something. She had been the one rushing last time, hasn’t she? Was that what was expected from her? To be the one keeping the promise she had told.

But then, Aster moved forward, timidly at first, more secure later, and promptly grasped her forearm, the one with her painted skin, and pulled, making her stumble as her fingers slipped away from the pocket, crusty and suddenly warm enough to be melt. She pushed back, because that had been them, at the very beginning, before anything had transformed into the mess that had been. And when she did, muscles answering, she felt a second pull, this one on her shoulder, poignant glance darkening the space.

Her lips felt numb at the end of everything, her chest open, her eyes hurting when her eyelids responded.

“How about no more waiting?”

This time she didn’t answer. Not with words.

Words could be screwed. And promises of a time that should be spent waiting scattered in the wind, against the windows, over the rooftops, beyond the town’s sign.

[florbexter]

Hiii, sorry if I’m making you do more than you should but pretty please, can you write a small one shot of Shaofei returning the tie (the one that wrapped his wound) to Tangyi and Tangyi wears it out for the day?

Hey! Thank you so much for your prompt! I totally forgot about the tie but you’re right, he should have given Tang Yi the tie back! And I see Shao Fei as someone who would have done that :D 

It took me a long while to write this but now it’s part of the March Madness Collection and I hope you’ll like this ^.^

Tied up in knots | AO3 link

Shao Feihad been to five dry cleaners with the tie. He had left the first three withouttelling them what he wanted them to clean. He had no idea why. He was a cop. Itwouldn’t be too weird for him to have blood on a piece of clothing…

He had leftthe fourth cleaning business because a little child had stood beside the woman,looking at him with big eyes, hiding behind the counter. Shao Fei had tried toexplain what had happened (and he had no idea why he had the need to justifyhimself) but his eyes had wandered to the child all the time and then he hadleft. 

Should heeven clean the tie and give it back to Tang Yi? Tang Yi had a suit shop. Itwasn’t irrational to assume that he had a big pile of ties. Would he evennotice this very tie was missing? 

The oldlady in the fifths dry cleaning store had taken one look at it, had snatched itout of Shao Fei’s hand and had said: “Blood, right? I can get the stains out inthree days. Cash only!”

Shao Feihad not dared to disagree, so he had been back in three days and paid for thecleaned tie. And it was clean, as far as he could tell. It was black, so hehadn’t really seen the bloodstains in the first place but Tang Yi had carriedhim down the mountain to safety and had made sure that he was taken care off inthe hospital so the least Shao Fei could do was to give him back a cleantie. 

He lookeddown at it in the little plastic wrap and felt silly. Zhao Zi had said to justbuy Tang Yi a new one. 

“Whatever,”Shao Fei mumbled and threw it on the passenger seat of his car and tried to getall the weird thoughts out of his head. It laid there for over a week and everytime he climbed in his car, he saw the tie and shook his head and didn’t knowwhy he wouldn’t drive to Tang Yi’s shop or office or home to just throw the tieat him? He had thought about holding it hostage until Tang Yi told him whathappened four years ago, but he was relatively sure that that would be thefirst time Tang Yi would openly laugh at him. Not just a smirk but a full-onbelly laugh. It was almost tempting for that sight alone…

“Again… avery weird thought,” he said to his steering wheel after he wanted to driveaway from a witness interview. Tang Yi’s shop wasn’t far away so maybe he couldjust give his store manager the tie? She already knew him. She was the one whohad measured his body so they could rip him off a little fortune. He still hadno idea what to do with the suit he had bought. The captain had forbidden himto annoy Tang Yi at his home or office anyway so what choices did he have?

The emptyparking spot in front of the shop was like a sign and he stopped questioninghimself and entered the store. 

It alwaysfelt like time worked differently in Tang Yi’s shop. It felt old, but moreancient then outdated and Shao Fei felt out of place. He never liked chasingTang Yi down to this shop. Or maybe it was because of all these expensive suitsand how they didn’t really seem to fit him. 

“OfficerMeng.” The store manager bowed in greeting and smiled politely. Shao Fei wasconvinced that her smile became more and more strained the more he visited, andhe was secretly pleased about it. She could strangle him with her measuringtape, he was sure of it, but annoyed people tend to snap at some point andsnapping meant saying things they don’t want to say… he firmly believed thatshe knew more about Tang Yi and his ‘real’ business than she let one. Maybe oneday she would crack. 

He smiledhis most polite smile and offered her the tie. 

“I justwanted to bring this back. Your boss lent it to me.”

She lookedat him for a moment and he felt a bit silly thrusting out the tie to her. 

“I broughtit to a dry cleaner first of course. It’s clean now.”

“What isclean now, Officer Meng?”

Shao Fei andthe store manager turned around in unison to Tang Yi, and Shao Fei may havelaughed at the synchronicity of their movement if Tang Yi’s appearance hadn’tmade him a bit speechless. He had been so sure that Tang Yi wouldn’t be in hisstore today. Did he have his timetable wrong? It was Thursday morning… hewasn’t supposed to be here! 

He openedhis mouth to say something, to ask Tang Yi why he wasn’t at the Metro BusinessHotel, but Tang Yi made a gesture with his hand and the store managerdisappeared on light feet. In his head, Shao Fei had given the tie to her andleft and now he was standing in front of Tang Yi, who wore a black tie with acrisp white button-down, less colourful and less patterned than he was familiarwith and he felt really silly with the tie in his hand. 

“It’s a bitearly for one of your delightful interrogations,” Tang Yi drawled and theeyebrow he raised was blatantly mocking Shao Fei. They hadn’t seen each othersince they had tried to flee from the mountain and Shao Fei had a bit of aproblem matching the Tang Yi he knew and had chased for more than four yearswith the Tang Yi he had met in the little abandoned house next to a fire. Itwas like trying to fit two cut-outs over another until you must admit that youcan’t move the scissor the exact same way twice. 

“Your tie,”Shao Fei said instead of the questions he really wanted to ask, like, how TangYi had been if he slept better and why he wouldn’t talk to Shao Fei!?

“It’sclean, obviously.” 

Shao Feiprided himself in knowing Tang Yi’s micro-expressions but maybe it was hisfluttering heart making it impossible to read Tang Yi’s mimic. There was a rushin his ears, and it got worse because Tang Yi stepped closer and took the tieout of his hand.

Shao Feiwas someone who ripped up packages and presents. Tang Yi, apparently, needed totake his time opening the little plastic bag the tie was wrapped in. He foldedthe tie out and the fabric slid through his fingers making Shao Fei feel likehe was seeing something obscene. His chest felt tight with some unnamedemotion, or better, an emotion he couldn’t stop feeling since their night inthe mountains. 

Shao Feiwanted to say something, anything, but he could just stand there and watch asTang Yi opened the tie he already wore and put on the other one. He didn’t evenneed a mirror; his fingers unknotted the old one with deft movements and heknotted up the new on even faster. 

Shao Feiblinked and blinked because there was no space between them to look anywhereelse and if he would take a step back, he would be enfolded by a rack of suits.Why was this store so small? Why was Tang Yi changing ties? Why was he notfinding words? He was good at talking! He knew how to avoid silence withmindless chatter and…

“Thank youfor bringing the tie back,” Tang Yi said and then he flattened the tie on hisbody with his hand and who did that? Shao Fei wanted to throw up his arms inconfusion.

“You’rewelcome, I mean… that’s the least I could do. It’s your tie, it was my fault itgot blood on it, wasn’t it? You carried me down the mountain and got me intothe hospital and…”

“How’s yourwound?”

“What?”Shao Fei had talked himself in a kind of frenzy and had thought his last wordscould be something like ‘however, have a nice day, bye’ and he could leavethis very confusing situation, but Tang Yi didn’t get the memo.

Shao Feitouched his right arm as if he had to remind himself that yes, he had a woundthere. He had a bandage over it during the day so it wouldn’t tear open. 

“It’s okay.It’s almost healed. The stitches are out, and it looks good, I guess.” 

“I’m glad,”Tang Yi said. 

“You’reglad?”

“You soundsurprised? Do you think I want my favourite policeman injured, OfficerMeng?” 

“Yourfavourite…? Are you mocking me?”

There was agrin hiding in the corner of Tang Yi’s mouth and Shao Fei had the sudden urgeto hunt it until it became a full-fledged smile. The more he thought about it,the more he looked past the case of Li Zhen, the more he realised how much ofhis urge to chase Tang Yi was because of the man himself and not because of the knowledge he had.

It was anunsettling thought.

Tang Yididn’t seem to notice that his person was about to claim every thought in ShaoFei’s mind. He just stepped closer, closed the distance between them and ShaoFei took a step back.

“What Ialways wondered”, Tang Yi said, and Shao Fei felt the suits touching his back.

Normally,Shao Fei was the one getting up into other people’s spaces. It was a greatintimidation tactic and he had the feeling he got a good grasp on what anervous gulp, the widening of pupils or the thrumming of a pulse under the skinmeant. He had no problem breathing down someone’s neck and it was a biteye-opening to see how it felt when he wasn’t the one initiating theclose-up. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had stepped back froma suspect.

“I alwayswondered,” Tang Yi said and suddenly his fingers were around the collar of ShaoFei’s denim jacket, pulling at the material. “Why don’t you have a dress codeas detectives? You run around in uniforms otherwise but the moment you getpromoted it doesn’t matter anymore? Your appearance?”

There wasthe light touch of Tang Yi’s finger on his neck and Shao Fei felt it all theway down in his stomach. A buzzing feeling spread through his whole body. Heknew he was being insulted, but Tang Yi stayed way too close and his eyes,deep and dark, travelled from Shao Fei’s jacket to his own hand as if it wasfascinating what his fingers were doing.

Shao Feiswallowed.

A phone wasringing and destroyed whatever spell Tang Yi had woven around them. Shao Feiwasn’t even sure what he had said to escape the situation or if he had justfled without a word, but he found himself back in his car with a wild poundingheart and a dry throat. He raised his own hand to touch the patch of skin TangYi had… caressed. There was no other word for it. It hadn’t been anaccidental touch.

He wasflustered about it he realized and with a groan, he put his head against thesteering wheel.

+++

“Is everythingalright?”

Shao Feiblinked and looked up at Yu Qi who frowned in concern at the chocolate wrappersdecorating most of his desk. He was a stress eater.

It wasjust a tie, hewanted to say to her.

He lookedback at the document open on his computer and saw that he had written tiein the report about an attempted robbery.

“Just a bittired,” he said and closed the file. It was almost the end of his shift, but itfelt like he had been awake for days. Had the encounter with Tang Yi reallyhappened this morning?

“I thinkI’m going home for today.” Yu Qi smiled at him and nodded in agreement. Shetook the files he had worked on and dumbed them on Zhao Zi’s desk.

“Take agood rest,” she said cheerfully and now he had no choice but to shut down hiscomputer and take his jacket. Suddenly he stood outside of the building andlooked up at the darkening sky. The weather was still pleasant, and he thoughtabout taking a stroll through the market a few streets over when he saw afamiliar figure at the edge of his vision.

Shao Feiwas devoted to his work. He knew that and the emotional shortcomings he hadrelated to that. Sometimes it took him a long time to realize what was goingon, but he was quick to accept those feelings because why dwell on somethinghis heart knew all along?

Realizingthat everything wasn’t as black and white as he had thought took time and, ashe now grasped, also a bit of pain. He massaged the skin above his heart andknew that he could decide. He could ignore Tang Yi leaning against his car orhe could walk up to him.

He stillwore the tie.

“OfficerMeng,” Tang Yi said as Shao Fei approached, and it sounded more like a pet namethan an insult. It started an ache in Shao Fei’s stomach.

There wasno one around besides them and the sinking sun highlighted Tang Yi’s hair andmade his eyes shine. Was he now allowed to think about how breathtakinglybeautiful Tang Yi was?

“What can Ido for you Tang Yi?”, Shao Fei asked.  

“Today ismy birthday,” Tang Yi said, and Shao Fei blinked. Oh… Oh, he knew that.He opened his mouth to say, ‘Happy Birthday’ but Tang Yi interrupted himbefore he could: “And I have a wish.”

It feltlike he was finally able to see as if there had been a veil over his eyes andTang Yi’s little touch, had lifted it. Shao Fei could see the want in Tang Yi’seyes, even though his face was as impassive as ever. Had he always wanted ShaoFei that way? The thought made him breathless.

“Okay,”Shao Fei said easily and didn’t hesitate as Tang Yi opened the car door forhim.

They endedup in a little apartment. A secret hiding? A safe house? Shao Fei knew thatTang Yi lived in a big mansion on the outskirt of Taipei, but he wouldn’t askif this was a lover’s nest rented for the purpose of one-night stands.

Was he aone-night stand? Shao Fei didn’t do casual. He had no idea how to be casual.

Shao Feihovered in the hallway and watched as Tang Yi slipped out of his suit jacket,hanging it, like the neat freak he probably was, on a coat rack. Shao Feislipped out of his shoes and had the urge to kick them in a corner.

“I didn’tknow about this apartment,” he blurred out and thankfully Tang Yi just smiledat him.

“No onebesides me knows about it,” he answered and helped Shao Fei out of his jacket.

“Not evenHong Ye?” Shao Fei doubted that those two did anything without informing theother.

Tang Yilaughed soundlessly and tilted his head. It made him look young and mischievousand it threw Shao Fei off a little bit. Sometimes he forgot that Tang Yi wastwo years younger than him.

They stoodclose now.

Shao Feisaw how Tang Yi scanned his face with his eyes and even though Shao Fei gotinto his car and followed him to this apartment, he still seemed to think theball was in Shao Fei’s court.

Was he supposedto say it out loud? That he was ready for whatever they were going to do here?Of course, he wasn’t ready, but he was willing to fake his confidence until heknew how to stop his heart from bursting out of his chest. He bit his lips andhis eyes travelled down from Tang Yi’s face to his neck down his chest.

The tie wasstill around Tang Yi’s collar.

Shao Feitook it and caressed the fabric. It was nice, he had to admit and with his eyesstubbornly on the task at hand, he loosened the knot. It opened quickly and ashe pulled the two strands apart his eyes fell to the skin above his fingers,still hidden by the collar of Tang Yi’s shirt. He put one finger against TangYi’s neck and smiled helplessly as he felt his racing pulse.

“Happybirthday,” he said and felt a heavy surge of arousal and confidence as he sawand felt Tang Yi swallow. Tang Yi’s pupils were blown wide open when Shao Feilooked back at him.

He grabbedTang Yi’s face and kissed him.

There was asoftness to Tang Yi’s lips he hadn’t expected, and he chased it frantically.Tang Yi’s hands slipped under his shirt and gosh he hadn’t known. Why hadn’t heknown?

It was alearning curve to kiss Tang Yi and he hesitantly tried to deepen the kiss,licking at Tang Yi’s upper lip, biting and sucking until Tang Yi moaned andShao Fei felt his fingers tighten on his skin. This was good, he thoughtdizzyingly as Tang Yi put kisses on his jawline up to his ear and Shao Feiburied his fingers in Tang Yi’s hair, when Tang Yi bit him playful in one earlobe.So good.

And he feltpowerful. Not in a way as if he suddenly had the upper hand on Tang Yi, but ina way that made him realize how big his heart could feel. He felt powerful andscared and vulnerable. Tang Yi undressed him and that was another kind ofvulnerability. He buried his face in Tang Yi’s neck and tried to hide from histhoughts and Tang Yi’s gaze but that made it impossible for Tang Yi to unbuttonhis shirt. But maybe Tang Yi knew him better than he had thought because hedidn’t try to look at Shao Fei’s face, instead, he hugged him and caressed ShaoFei’s back in long, soothing strokes. From his neck to his tailbone, withpressure, but gentle. Up and down.

Why? Whydid he feel so comfortable in the arms of a gangster, someone who was a potentialmurderer, who had answers to Shao Fei most burning questions? Why was he notrunning away?

Why – TangYi kissed him behind his ear and a full-body shiver ran over Shao Fei. Hegrabbed Tang Yi’s face again and kissed him deeply. There was a desperation toit he couldn’t stop.  He pushed Tang Yibackwards, towards the bed he had seen the moment he had stepped a foot intothis tiny apartment. They bounced a little when they fell on the mattress andShao Fei laughed breathlessly against Tang Yi’s skin. The skin of his neck,soft and addictive and Shao Fei might have touched other people before, butTang Yi felt so knew as if Shao Fei had unlearned anything from before Tang Yi.

“What doyou want?”, he asked while they tried to undress each other. It wasn’t an easytask; mostly because they needed to kiss and caress every bit of skin which gotuncovered.

“What doyou want?”, Shao Fei asked again and unbend to wriggle out of his jeans. Healmost fell off the bed but, in the end, he smiled triumphally and then smiledagainst Tang Yi’s lips as he pulled him down to him again.

“So much,”Tang Yi answered, and Shao Fei got lost in the expression in his eyes, thenaked lust in them and the way his fingers ran through the hair on the back ofhis head. Tang Yi kissed him, kissed him slowly, kissed him deliberately as ifhe wanted to make sure Shao Fei was going to remember how it felt to be kissedby him. How could he ever forget? Shao Fei melted against Tang Yi, his bodyweak and at this moment, he knew that he had been born to be kissed by Tang Yi.

Shao Feihad no clear memory on how they got undressed, where their clothes landed orwhose hands opened whose buttons but he remembered the gasp he let out whenthey embraced each other naked, the way Tang Yi’s skin felt under his hands,silky and smooth.

Tang Yi hadfound his favourite spot on Shao Fei’s collarbone, nipping and nuzzling at itwhile their bodies began to get slippery from sweat. A bittersweet ache sweptthrough Shao Fei’s body and when Tang Yi’s clever hands found his dick, he hadto take a deep breath because suddenly it all got too overwhelming and he hadthe feeling he could come on the spot.

“Oh fuck,”he said breathlessly, and Tang Yi smiled against his lips as if he wasdelighted by Shao Fei’s inability to control himself. Shao Fei held his breathand wanted to push Tang Yi gently away, but he already rolled to the side andhis mind had just stopped spinning when Tang Yi put a bottle of lube into hishands.

“You wantto kill me,” he groaned but Tang Yi only smiled at him, a regal smile, an ‘Iwant you to pleasure me’ smile and leaned back, obviously comfortable inhis nakedness and his desire to get Shao Fei’s fingers on him. Shao Fei climbedon top of him to kiss the smug smile from his lips and the lube fell from hishands because kissing Tang Yi was heaty and distracting and good.

He decidedthen and there that he needed to travel down Tang Yi’s body with his mouth,because his fingers weren’t to be trusted for remembering Tang Yi correctly.Tang Yi was encouraging every lick and every bite and every kiss with hisfingers in Shao Fei’s hair, caressing or pulling, with the roll of hips againsthim. He gasped – shocked - when Shao Fei began to tease him with his wetfingers and it was Shao Fei turn to feel smug that Tang Yi hadn’t been able tokeep track of the bottle of lube, but the intimacy took his breath away, howTang Yi opened to his fingers, writhing on them and Shao Fei said “Fuck” butwhat he wanted to say was: ‘If we never going to do this again, I will die.’Tang Yi arched his body towards him, and Shao Fei was lost in the smell andfeel of him. He mouthed along Tang Yi’s hipbone and tried to get a grip on hisimpatience, he wanted to slow down, but Tang Yi commanded to be faster, orslower or ‘Yes, right there’.

Tang Yiburied his hands in Shao Fei’s hair to pull him up to him and then it was amess of sorting limbs, the condom wrapper and Tang Yi turned on his side andShao Fei began to press into him and knew that he hurt Tang Yi with his fingerswhich dug into his tight and he moaned his pleasure against Tang Yi’s back,helplessly, utterly wrecked.

Then TangYi’s hand was on his buttocks and Shao Fei had to press forward and Tang Yijust held him there, and the pressure made Shao Fei see stars. “Fuck”, hewhispered and looked up. Tang Yi had bent his head back, the bliss clearlyvisible on his face and Shao Fei jerked, the upward thrust almost impossiblewith the way Tang Yi held him still with his hand. He put tiny, little bitesalong Tang Yi’s neck until he was at his ear and whispered, “let me”. h

He loosenedTang Yi’s hold on his butt and Tang Yi’s mouth fell open in a silent moan asShao Fei started to move in short jerky moves. Tang Yi met him in a slow,deliberate rhythm and when Tang Yi cursed as Shao Fei snaked his hand aroundhis hip to get a hold of his erection Shao Fei laughed, a punched-out breatheof air. He felt flushed and hot and indescribable happy and it was a revelationto see Tang Yi caught in the throats of passion, uninhibited, his moans loud inthe room while he moved his body to take what he wanted. Shao Fei held himselfstill and let Tang Yi use his body, let him move on his dick, let him use hishand to get pleasure at the forward thrust and when Tang Yi moved his head ShaoFei got the note and put his mouth behind Tang Yi’s ear, coaxing husky soundsof pleasure out of him.

It feltincredible and time became a blur, they got lost in the back and forth of theirbodies, the slide of Shao Fei inside Tang Yi; sometimes smooth sometimeserratic and when he felt his orgasm approach he hugged Tang Yi tight, his mouthopen against his shoulder blade, pushing and pushing and it was still a shock,the wave of pleasure sweeping through his body, the pressure suddenly gone, hisbody felt numb and alive at the same time, was he shaking? His heart raced andhe laughed helplessly and groaned when he felt Tang Yi stiffen and then thewarm release of his orgasm on his fingers.

“Happybirthday,” he said, and Tang Yi laughed as he found his hand and squeezed.

+++

Shao Feiwoke up to the soft lighting of the dawn. He felt disorientated for a moment,turned around and almost hit Tang Yi in the face… Tang Yi. Shao Fei stared athim for a few seconds.

He lookedsoft, with his hair falling in his face, his mouth slightly open, while hebreathed evenly. Shao Fei wanted to touch him, but he had no idea if the ruleshad changed, what had changed between them, what was he allowed to do?

He slippedout of bed and found his underwear. His phone was in his jacket and it showedhim that he had to go home and change if he wanted to be ready for work ontime. Tang Yi was still asleep, sprawling across the bed and Shao Fei had tothink about their conversation in the mountains. Was this one of the rare timesTang Yi allowed himself to sleep?

Shao Feitiptoed around the room and dressed. He suppressed the urge to go back to thebed to look at Tang Yi because he had no idea what to say if he woke up. On hisway out of the apartment, he spotted the tie and whatever urge made him pick itup and put it in his pocket he didn’t question it.

+++

Shao Feistared at the glass of water in his hands and since he had left Tang Yi’s apartment,he wasn’t sure how he should feel. Guilty, indifferent, ecstatic?

The day hadpassed in a haze of cases, interviews, and paperwork and he had remembered thenight with Tang Yi at the weirdest times. It had always been as if time stoodstill, or maybe more of a slow-motion of the reality around him while heremembered the way Tang Yi’s hair had tickled his face or the weight of hisdick in his hand, the taste of his lips, their fight with the blanket, alltangle up, when they had wanted to slip under it to sleep.

Hisdoorbell rang. Shao Fei frowned at the clock. It was past midnight and hecouldn’t think of someone who would visit him at this hour… maybe somebody hadused the wrong doorbell, but he pressed the intercom button anyway.

“Yes?”

“It’s me.”

Shao Feifelt that his pulse took up speed and he realized how much he had wanted it to beTang Yi.

“I have toreport a robbery. You’re really brazen for a detective to steal from me.” Therewas a growl in Tang Yi’s voice and Shao Fei smiled.

“Everyonehas layers,” he said and pressed the buzzer. He opened the door to listen forTang Yi’s footsteps on the staircase and felt agitated but in a good way. Werethose the famous butterflies doing looping’s in his stomach?

Tang Yifrowned up at him the moment he spotted Shao Fei and Shao Fei knew that heprobably shouldn’t smile at that, but he found it sexy.

“Come in,”he said.

Tang Yi’sfrowned deepened when he saw his tie around Shao Fei’s neck and Shao Fei knewthat it must look weird but he hadn’t been able to suppress the urge to wear itafter he had found it in his trousers while he had changed for work. He wasdriven on instinct when Tang Yi was concerned.

Tang Yislipped out of his shoes and pushed them next to Shao Fei’s as if it was themost natural thing in the world. He glanced around, scanned Shao Fei’s littleapartment, but his eyes landed on Shao Fei again quickly, his look intense anddark as he eyed him from head to toes.

I have yourfingerprints on my butt, Shao Fei wanted to say and hid his smile behind hishand, masking it as a cough. Tang Yi squinted at him. Maybe he should feelanxiety or embarrassment, but he just wanted to smile.

“Do youwant something to drink?”, he asked but Tang Yi shook his head.

“No. I’mhere to complain about Taipei’s police force. It’s an abuse of power.”

“What is?”

“Stealing atie and then wearing it yourself.”

It wasn’tabout the tie; Shao Fei knew that. It was probably about the way Shao Fei haddisappeared in the morning, without a word. But as a defence: Shao Fei had noidea how to act around a one-nightstand. What were the rules? Should he haveleft a note?

He had adecision to make, he realized. Like he had done when he went into Tang Yi’scar. And like then it was a one-time offer. Yes or no.

The waterspilt out of the glass when he put it on the kitchen table, but he didn’tcare.

He spreadhis arms and said: “You’re more than welcome to get the tie back.”

Tang Yibegan to smile.

+~end~+

[urmysilverlining]

Give Me Time

“If you tie it a little bit tighter, you’re going to choke me”

“Shut up, this way it’s perfect” you said, adjusting the tie of your work partner, Angus MacGyver.

“Thanks, but it got nothing wrong before” He replied, peeking at his shape reflected in the mirror, then proceeding to button his black suit jacket’s sleeves.

“C’mon guys, we’re late” Jack Dalton, your second co-worker, abruptly entered in the room.

“When did you start to respect a timetable?” Mac frowned his eyebrows, while turning to Jack with a sassy half smile. It was the first time you saw that weird expression, that now feels so familiar.

“Can’t wait to make my entrance” the older man answered, confidently preceding both of you out of the room.

When he left you alone, you stepped in front of Mac, avoiding him to take a step further, and spoke:” Okay, MacGyver, I don’t know how you and Jack had been trained or got used to work in these years, but do you think you can keep a low profile, just for once?” You placed a finger on his lips, so that he couldn’t interrupt you. “I wouldn’t like if something turned bad on my first mission with a new team.”

Mac stared in your eyes, for what it seemed a little too much, for a smart guy like him, to say a simple “yes” or “no”. Then, he gently lowered your hand and smiled: “You don’t have to worry, everything will be fine. And please, just call me Mac.”

You walked down the huge stair, leading to the casino main hall. Here, you split to have a better coverage of the area. Mac reached the bar, you moved towards the roulette table, and Jack…well Jack always does what he wants, so you lose sight of him in the crowd.

“Which color do you prefer, beauty? Black or red?” The man you were looking for, approached you.

“Green, actually” you answered.

“That’s brave. You’re going to be the end of me, girl” he smiled in a very charming way before turning to the croupier “I bet all my money on the zero” 

Despite the thirty seven to one shot, he gained and exclaimed: “How is it even possible?! You brought me good luck! What’s next?” 

You rehearsed the plan in your mind: sneaking inside this man’s hotel room and stealing a suitcase, containing nuclear warheads’ launch codes. If you had failed, he would have consigned it to countries planning mass destruction attacks. So you decided to take the shorter road.

“What about we go talk in a quieter place?” You got close and touched his arm, your typical fake flirting move.

He nodded and showed you a way out. You followed him, but before you could reach the casino’s exit, you heard a raspy voice, sweetly whispering to your ear: “Where were you, babe? I couldn’t find you anywhere” 

You looked over your shoulder and met Mac’s blue eyes. He placed an hand on your stomach, keeping you close to him, and tilted down his head to place a lightweight kiss on the exposed skin of your neck. 

“I brought you something to drink” he offered you a glass and introduced himself to the man you were trying to seduce few minutes before.

You took a sip of wine, feeling like your body forgot how to breath for a moment and just started to regularly function again.

The man took leave of you and disappeared down the hallway. You and Mac faced each other,  asking at the same time: “What did it come to your mind?!”

He talked for first: “Sorry, I was just trying to save you from this situation”

“Excuse me?”

“Flirting with that man. I don’t feel comfortable in you being alone with corrupted people we don’t know which things are capable of.” he said without taking breath.

“It was the fastest way to get in his room, period. We would have already stolen the suitcase, if you had trusted me. I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I’m not a damsel in distress, I’ve already been in mission, before meeting you.” 

Jack showed up, interrupting your heated argument: “I had to take off my comms, because my head was about to explode! You guys, go upstairs. I will keep our man busy until you get the suitcase.” 

Walking down the building, you heard some shots and steps coming from the corridors behind your back. You speeded up the pace, and reached the room you were looking for. Mac quickly unlocked the door, and you closed it behind your back.

“Go hide in there” Mac said, pointing to the closet.

“What about the suitcase? We can’t let them taking it away…” 

“We’ve got no time now. We’re going to wait here until the way is clear” Mac pushed you inside the locker. 

It was narrow and dark: the only light came through the thin slots of the shutters. In the silence, you listened to the voices of a group of men approaching the door of the room. They left minutes after, walking along the opposite side of the wall you were leaned against.

“I think we can go out now” you whispered, placing your hand on the handle.

Mac stopped you: “Jack hasn’t said it’s clear. It could be not safe, yet.” 

You were both breathing heavily because of the small place and the adrenalin running through your bodies. 

“Mac, let me go, I can’t stay here any longer” 

“You’re stuck with me, like it or not”

Before he could push you back, you started gasping “What are you talking about? It’s not because of you, stupid. I’m having a panic attack. I hate being closed in dark and tight places…”

He made a pause and, with a completely different tone, said: “I know that it’s scary, but you can overcome this. You just need to breath…”

“How am I supposed to do it?” you yelled.

“Well, just inspire and expire slowly…” He took a step further, and started doing himself what he told you.

A noise made you wince, so Mac tried to get your attention: “Y/N, look at me, there’s nobody except you and me” He moved your hair behind your ear and then lifted your face, to keep eye contact with you. You felt his chest rhythmically rising and lowering against yours, and this helped you calming down. You closed your eyes, enjoying his closeness: you wouldn’t have felt comfortable with anybody else, in that situation.

Suddenly, the door of the closet had been opened and the light made you open your eyes. Mac shielded you with his body, right before the loud sound of two gunshots filled the room. You saw the man that was holding a gun behind Mac’s shoulder, falling on the ground, but not before having noticed a red stain of blood on your mate’s shirt. 

“No, no, no, damn Mac! What did you do? I thought having asked you to follow the plan for once…” you cried, gently moving the wet hair from his forehead. 

You were holding Mac’s waist, helping him to stand up and avoiding him to collapse, when you heard Jack’s voice, approaching the wardrobe: “Hey guys, everything is okay?”

“Too late, Jack” Mac groaned, pinning himself with one hand against the wall behind your back.

“End of the chapter.” you closed the book, with a resonant vibration, and laid it on your legs.

“What about reading another?” Mac turned to look at you, his head rested on the hospital bed’s pillow, and smiled. That soft smile that would convince you doing anything.

“We said one chapter a day”

“Yes, but this one  was shorter” he lengthened his arm and drummed his fingers on the hard cover of the book. “And I want to know what happens next…” he looked straight in your eyes.

You got up from your chair, and picked up your things saying: “I am going to tell you what happens next: I go home and finish filling the pending reports Matty asked me to hand her one week ago”

As you walked past his bed, he took your hand in his, making you turn: “Why do you always go away so fast? I think we have good time together, but if you got tired of coming here everyday…”

You sat on the edge of the bed: “I could never get tired of spending time with you. It’s just I feel so guilty for what happened. You wouldn’t be here, if you didn’t want to protect me”

“Well, Jack always says that some relationships born out intense first encounters”

You shook your head: “It wasn’t our first encounter”

“First mission, it worth the same. And trust me, I would have risked my life for any other person”

 “I don’t know if this makes me feel better or worse” you both laughed.

“So, since I took a bullet for you, I think you own me a dinner” That half smile, again.

“What about a little welcome back party? I’m going to text the others, later.” you proposed him.

“I was thinking to something more like a date”

You became serious and answered: “Mac, I’m sorry but I have to refuse. I think it’s better if we stay friends.”

“Okay, I understand” he forced a smile. 

You appreciated he didn’t insist on this point, but you knew everything wasn’t alright. It wasn’t for you either.

 Before going away, without even foreseen it yourself, you placed your hand in the hole between his neck and shoulder, and got close, entwining your lips with his for a long moment. You felt like you were back in that closet, next to him, without being able to breathe, but this time for a completely different reason.

 “I’m sorry. Forget about it.” you whispered against his face. “ I guess, we’re even now.”

Jack, Riley and Bozer entered in the room, and you took advantage of it to walk  towards the door, before the situation got more awkward. But you couldn’t help to turn and look at Mac’s expression once  before leaving.

FIVE YEARS LATER

Mac lets slide a black tie around his neck, over the cotton fabric of the white shirt he is wearing.

He is in front of the mirror, holding the two ends in his hands, as you ask: “Can I make the knot?”

“Of course” He smiles, turning to be in front of you.

While you are moving the narrow part on top of the thick one, you say: “This is the place of our first mission together, do you remember?”

“Yes, and you adjusted my tie that time, too”

“I hope you didn’t mind it”.

“I didn’t. I like when you do my tie…and makes me crazy when you undo it later” he pulls you closer for a kiss.

“C’mon guys, we’re late.” Jack abruptly entered in the room “Anything you were about to do, you can do it later. I need to make my entrance now.”

“Is it just me or does he say it all the times?!” You joke with Mac, as Jack exits.

Before leaving, you hold Mac’s hand and say: “Do you remember what passed five years ago? You better not make it happen again, okay?”

“I’ve always known you would have been the one I’d take a bullet for” 

“I’m serious, Mac. We’re not alone anymore, you know”

“It’s the first thing I think about every morning when I wake up. If something turned wrong that day, I would have missed the five most beautiful years of my life.” he says laying both his hands on your stomach. He looks down, smiling, and adds: “I am starting to see your baby bump. I wonder how have the others not noticed anything, yet.”

 “Well, maybe we could tell them after this mission”  you propose.

Mac laughs: “In this case, we have another reason to stay alive”

[tasmyn-pearce]

Smoke on the Water, Fire in the Sky || Tasmyn & Ulfric

TIMING: 5/24/2020 (Last Sunday)  PARTIES:  @big-bad-ulf​ SUMMARY: Two Non-Humans attempt to go moongazing and have a bonfire picnic at Hanging Rock. What could go wrong? (Smoke Monsters, smoke monsters could go wrong.)

Ulfric took in the scene he’d set up along the edge of Hanging Rock with satisfaction, although truthfully nature had done most of the work for him. The uninterrupted night sky sparkled brightly over the bonfire pit and picnic spread, and the sound of waves lapping against the cliffs below was only vaguely reminiscent of distant, muffled screaming and both things set the mood for… whatever this was supposed to be. People didn’t generally take him up on offers to go moongazing, at least not in human form, and he wasn’t exactly sure how to proceed or how to classify the meeting. Regardless, it would be nice to spend some one on one time with an adult who wasn’t the spawn of his sworn enemies. He heard footsteps along the cliff path, and fiddled with the thick blanket he’d laid out to straighten it before turning to greet the approaching woman. “Tasmyn? It’s good to meet you properly,” He offered her his hand to shake with a smile. Her proximity didn’t trigger a reaction that signalled recognition of one of his kind, but after the incident with Morgan he was more careful about getting his hopes up in that regard, so the disappointment bore softer edges.  “I thought we could enjoy a bonfire picnic along with the view.” Leaving her side for a moment, he retrieved a small tupperware container from a wicker picnic basket and presented it to her unceremoniously. “I managed to find some of those strawberries you asked about. Stubborn things grow in abundance around train tracks, human plans be damned.”

Tasmyn was looking forward to seeing the moon, and the stars of course! They deserved equal recognition, equal respect. After all, human scientists claim that the light we see is from stars that have already exploded. That was insane, and very metal. She followed the directions that the internet man gave her, she thought about looking up a map beforehand, but this wasn’t her first time in a forest, she was confident she’d be able to figure it out. After getting a bit turned around a few times, she finally made it to the clearing. “Yes, hi! Ulfric?” Usually she tried to take people’s names whenever she could, but he was being nice and offered to show her a good moon spot, so she was paying forward some kindness, even if he might be human. “Oh my! A Moonlit picnic? Bonfire? Do you know how to start a fire? Cause I don’t. And strawberries??” Tasmyn was pretty shocked at how lovely the set up was, so she decided without any real evidence that this man must not really be human. No human could do something this lovely. In fact, it might be the nicest thing anyone had done for her in years. “This is all truly wonderful. Thank you, genuinely.” She told him, looking up to make eye contact with him and grinning. “And you went on train tracks for the berries! How marvelous!” She grabbed the container and immediately took the lid off, picking up one of the berries and putting it in her mouth. “MMmmm, you want one?” She asked, picking one up and offering it to him.

“You make it sound a lot more daring than it was,” Ulfric chuckled, “I knew the next train wasn’t coming through for at least an hour, they have these handy things called timetables they’ll just give you at the station.” He left out the part where his presence on the tracks did still technically count as trespassing. “But yes, I’ll bite,” the werewolf accepted Tasmyn’s offering, warmed by her excitement. The small red berry was tarter and earthier than the kind you’d find in a grocery store, but all tastier for it. “The complicated part is the assembly,” he surveyed the conical, balanced structure of the bonfire with pride. Digging a pit beneath it, finding stones to place around it to prevent the fire spreading as well the materials to build the actual fire had been physically demanding, but it had made for quite a peaceful afternoon on the cliffside with only his thoughts and the waves. He was glad someone appreciated the effort. “Lighting it is quite easy,” he pulled a book of matches from his coat, motioning towards the gap between the logs which exposed the kindling, before holding them out to her. “If you’d like to do the honors?”

“People always take the fun out of things. I’m sure it was a fun adventure even if the danger level was low.” Tasmyn replied, wondering suddenly if this man was a warden who lured her to her doom. People did say she would learn to be more careful online. The thought passed almost as quickly as it formed, as her eyes widened slightly at his comment. “You built this?” She had foolishly presumed that the structure was already there made for anyone who happened to be out here, but no - Ulfric had taken his time and come out here to build this. A soft blush crept over her face as she grabbed the matches from him. “Yes, absolutely.” She held the matches in her hand and made her way over to the bonfire pit. “Right here?” She asked to verify, then pulled a match out and struck it against the matchbook. She admired the flame for a moment before carefully placing the flame against the kindling, letting it light then dropping the matchstick into the fire. Almost immediately she reached her hands out to feel the warmth of the new flames.

Ulfric nodded encouragingly as the flame sparked to life. “Yes, like that. You should make a wish too, it’s the right time for it.” His eyes drifted out over the ocean and up towards the glowing main attraction that had brought them both there. “Waxing crescent moon; the phase for planting your intentions and desires so that they’ll grow over the next cycle.” He sighed and lowered himself onto the picnic blanket, and then onto his back with his arms crossed behind his head. Strategically, he’d taken up the position to shield his eyes from the bonfire’s light, so they wouldn’t reflect it back at her (Tasmyn seemed unfazed by the sordid history of Hanging Rock, but he wasn’t sure how she’d react if her companion suddenly looked possessed), but he found he was also surprisingly relaxed. It had been awhile since he’d spent time with someone who didn’t depend on or at least expect something from him, and as sacred as his duties were, it was a relief to shrug off some of that weight for a moment. “Do you know any constellations? That bright star just to the west of the moon is Canis Minor, the lesser dog.” Ulfric traced a line from the centre of the moon to the star with one finger so that she could follow. “And then all the way on the horizon its companion the great dog, Canis Major is leading all the stars in setting for the night.” He left out the propaganda about the celestial beasts supposedly belonging to hunters, so as not to spoil the mood.  

“I didn’t know the moon phases had certain things you’re supposed to do with them.” Tasmyn said with some excitement in her voice. That sounded so fun, such a wonderful way to honor the nature of it all. After taking another moment by the flames, she made her way over to the blanket that was laid out and took up the spot next to Ulfric just in time for him to start pointing out constellations. Maybe she was lying down a bit too close, but she wanted to be able to see what he was pointing at - and she never was very good at giving people personal space. “I know a few, ones that were over the town I grew up in. This is maybe a silly question - but would they be the same ones above us now?” Sometimes Tasmyn was embarrassed at her lack of booksmarts, chalked it up to years of Spriggan-only education. But she was comfortable around Ulfric, comfortable enough to ask a potentially stupid question. “Canis Minor.” She repeated, her eyes following his hand as he traced out the star formation. “Wow. That’s such a beautiful story. I didn’t know they all had stories with them. How’d you learn so much about all of this?” Tasmyn heard the fire crack slightly and the noise startled her, her body tensed up and she looked over towards the flames. But it was nothing, the fire was just growing and the sparks were crackling as they do. After watching smoke start to form at the tip of the flames, she turned her attention back to her picnic buddy. “What else do you know about the sky?”

Ulfric held back a laugh in case she took it as a slight against her lack of knowledge in the subject, rather than just being amused at her earnest enthusiasm. “It’s not silly, they’re mostly the same in the northern hemisphere, it’s just their positions and the times that they appear that change.” It was thought that had brought him a lot of comfort when he’d first been forced to leave his home, that he could still look up and find the same bright point in the sky as his family members who remained. “I grew up in a small village where there was much to do but listen to old stories.” He answered in fond remembrance. “Well that, and fight with my siblings but that doesn’t impress people as much.” He noticed Tasmyn tense listened in for any sound of an intruder making their way up to the clifftop, but heard nothing but the waves, though the flames did seem to be burning brighter. “Well, not much that can be backed up scientifically, but where I grew up they used to say the moon is chased across the sky every night by a wolf called Hati, and the sun is chased during the day by another wolf named Sköll. Some even say if they ever catch up they’ll swallow the heavenly bodies whole and cause the end of the world, but, uh…” He shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sure that part was just added for dramatic effect.”

Tasmyn looked up longingly at the stars as he spoke. She liked that the stars she was seeing were likely the same as her parents and loved ones. She liked less that her not-so-loved ones were under the same stars, but she pushed those thoughts for the time being. “I grew up in a very small village too! We were quite isolated, only some people went into the other towns and it always sounded like a dangerous trek.” Naturally she left out the part that her village was Spriggan-Only. But that wasn’t necessary information. She didn’t want him to think she was a freak. Ulfric had a nice way of speaking, as he explained the story of the sky to her she felt like she could really see it all written out there in the stars. Spriggans in her colony were known to be creative in their truths and half-truths, but making up stories was never their strong suit. “Nothing wrong with a bit of dramatic effect. It makes it that much more…” She paused briefly, searching for the right word. “That much more interesting, that much more comforting.” Just then Tasmyn heard the fire crack again. She wasn’t startled this time, but she did look over towards the flames. At first she thought the smoke was just growing very rapidly, but then she saw… were those arms? Arms of smoke reaching out towards her. Quickly she stood up, taking several steps backwards away from the fire, almost tripping over a few rocks as she moved. “What! Why! Oh my god are the witches mad at us? For disturbing them? It’s okay witches! We aren’t here to disturb you.” Trying to reason with a smoke monster wasn’t her finest moment.

Ulfric was surprised at Tasmyn’s description of how she grew up. Human communities who live that kind of self-sufficient lifestyle were increasingly rare, what were the chances that two people from such similar situations would end up in the same small Northwestern town? The spirits of his ancestors must have had some hand in guiding them together, though he wasn’t sure if his efforts to protect the wolves of White Crest so far had been enough to warrant such a reward. He was about to gently argue that comforting maybe wasn’t the right word for a tale of Ragnarök when she suddenly jumped up. “What? What’s wrong?” He leapt up as well into a defensive stance, but could neither see nor hear any trace of what had her so startled. “If I did something to offend you, you can just—” He coughed to clear his throat, tasting smoke. Odd, since the breeze wasn’t blowing in their direction. “You can just leave.” Maybe she had caught a glimpse of the firelight bouncing off his eyes after all, since she seemed so scared and hadn’t been able to think of a better excuse to get away from him than ‘witch ghosts’. “I won’t stop you, and nothing’s—” His speech was interrupted with more coughing. “Nothing’s going to hurt you.”

Tasmyn was beyond confused about what was going on, and felt awful that he thought he had done something to offend her. “You’ve been lovely… it’s that thing that’s ruining things!” She exclaimed, pointing towards the cloud of smoke that was heading towards them. Tasmyn didn’t understand why Ulfric didn’t seem to see the increasingly growing smoke monster that had begun to form. To her, having never seen a creature like this before, that could only mean one thing. This thing was sent to kill her and that’s why she was the only one who could see it. “No! No! Stay away from him!” She yelled at the creature, hesitantly moving closer to it to try and grab it off him or shoo it away. But as her hands tried to make contact with it, they went right through. The creature seemed to dissipate then reform where her hand had gone through. “It’s not hurting me, it’s hurting you! Can’t you see it?? Stop breathing in it’s smoke!” Tasmyn picked up a few small rocks from the ground and threw them through the monster, but every time something went through it, it always just re-formed.

Ulfric tensed and pivoted in the direction that Tasmyn pointed, poised to fend off an attack, but none came, at least not in the form he was expecting. The taste of smoke on the air was getting stronger, and he soon found himself subjected to another coughing fit, all the while groping blindly around him whatever thing or creature had set her off, but his fingers slipped uselessly through the air. In all the coughing and flailing he lost his balance and failed to dodge one of the rocks she hurled at the invisible menace, which smacked him firmly in the temple. “Ow, hey! I don’t see anything, and I don’t think that’s helping!” He called out, rubbing the bruised area, though it came out considerably raspier, and less calm than he’d intended. The mention of smoke stood out to him though, as despite the relatively clean appearance the air around him appeared to all his other senses to be thick with it, a vile ashen sensation coating his mouth and nostrils and stinging his eyes. “Water cooler—With the basket,” he managed to splutter, “We’ll put it out.” If there was something wrong with the smoke their best bet would be to stop it at its source.

Admittedly the idea to throw rocks at a smoke monster wasn’t Tasmyn’s finest moment. But it had been all that she could think of at the moment. “I’m so sorry!” She exclaimed, immediately stopping what she was doing. Her breath became so heavy, she evidently had gotten too close to the smoke and breathed some in. She coughed heavily, then nodded at his suggestion. “Okay! Okay!” Tasmyn ran over to where the basket was and found the water cooler. Quickly she unscrewed the top of the cooler and made her way over to the fire, dumping the contents of the container onto the flames then stomped out the remaining hot coals. As soon as she felt confident the flames were out she turned back to see if the monster had in fact disappeared with the elimination of the fire. A sigh of relief passed through her lips as she saw that nothing was attacking Ulfric anymore. “I am so sorry,” she told him, small tears beginning to form in her eyes. “I don’t know what that thing was, but it had to have been here to get me. My god he must’ve found me…” She trailed off, looking around them to see if anything was out there in the woods near them. “This is all my fault.”

Much to Ulfric’s gratitude once the flames were thoroughly quenched the choking sensation dissipated, though he was left hunched over, humbled, and hacking his lungs out by the time it did. Not a position he was used to being in, but one he took advantage of to heap handfuls of soil onto the remains of the bonfire, to make sure any surviving embers were smothered. “I think it’s mine actually,” he managed to retort once his airways had become less obstructed. “This spot is reported to be cursed, but in my defence, I doubt there are many places in the world where something tragic or bloody hasn’t occurred at some point in history.” He covered his mouth and cleared his throat, and when he pulled it away in the moonlight he thought he could make out a dark smudge of ash. Even if he never saw what caused it, he couldn’t deny he’d felt something real. “What did you see anyway? Why would someone be after you?” He asked, finally registering what Tasmyn had said, eyes darting in every direction in anticipation of another threat.

Even though the monster had dissipated with the flames, Tasmyn still felt on edge. Could he be right? Was this just the work of the witchy spirits that had been brutally killed on this very cliff? She thought she had been careful in her last move. Stole a random name, took the passport, made her way to America as someone other than Tasmyn. Maybe witch ghosts was the reason they were attacked… but that didn’t explain why she was the only one who could see it. “No, no, the witches wouldn’t make only one of us see it.” She mumbled, without fully realizing she had said it outloud. “I-I should go… If he’s here, I can’t let him…” Tasmyn turned to run away from where they were, then she stopped herself briefly. She looked back and then picked up the container of strawberries that Ulfric had picked. Even though she had little proof, she was convinced that her husband was behind this attack. She turned again, this time actually running away. “I’m so sorry!” She shouted as she left. She had an awful pit in her stomach, feeling awful for getting him attacked and then running away, but it felt like the safest option? He had been so nice to her, she didn’t want to be the reason he got hurt.

[eachainn]

The Sun in its Heaven (Wangxian Week Day 6: Sacrifice)

Author’s Note: More of the Twelve Kingdoms AU from before, because it won’t get out of my head. That and Pengie told me about what happened with Taiki in the newest novel. No spoilers for that in here though.

---

Lan Wangji eased himself down onto the bench, sighing as he was able to stretch his right leg out. He felt his brother squeeze his shoulder, the pressure staying steady longer than he expected. He turned his head to look noticing the stressed lines around his mouth. It was not a good look on Lan Xichen. He hated it, because he should be the least of his brother’s worries.

He was healing, steadily now that he was safely back in the Cloud Recesses and his leg had been rebroken and set right. It still ached, but he had expected that. Most of all, it was better to be away from the blood that had seemed into every corner of the Xuanwu cave.

There was a part of him that protested his presence in the Cloud Recesses. Because he had bowed, he had a chosen who was probably in the same shape that he was, injured and recovering. His duty was to return to Lotus Pier with Wei Ying and remain by his side. It was laughable to think that Wei Ying would join the Lan sect without a complaint, which meant that he was stuck at an impasse. But there was hope in the books that remained, the books that Lan Xichen had brought back, and possibly his brother himself. After all, there had to be something that could help him figure out what he had done when he had committed himself to Wei Ying.

That would have to wait until later, because today was an auspicious one.

Though burn scarred and with some of the ranka and ribbons lost in the fire that the Wens had started, their riboku survived. A few of the ranka remained, but they were the smaller ones, the ones that had been further up the tree when it had been set ablaze.

They would be dully celebrated when they dropped lower and were ready for plucking. But this was in honor of the one ranka that had been the closest one of the flames, the little miracle fruit that had survived the fire and thrived.

Lan Wangji turned his head, lifting his hands in the proper bow as the elders walked past, flanking Lan Linhe and Lan Chenge in an honor guard. They paused in their walk, giving him a surprised and breathless bow, like he would have not been there. Like his presence was a blessing. Like he wasn’t a member of the Lan clan like the rest of them.

It was an unsettling divide, especially in the face of his secret bow. That too would have to wait. Until he had the time to discuss it with his brother and uncle, until he had the time to heal, he was still of the Lan sect. And nothing, not even is bow, would remove him from the Lan clan.

His ranka had been wished for, the ribbon of his mother and father tied to the tree like all of them. He had just been blessed by the high level of qi that surrounded the riboku tree that his ranka had matured into one that had borne a kirin. He was not a distant and strange creature like the qilin would be to their own people.

He only held their attention for a moment longer, and then they were hurrying over to where their ranka was practically sitting on the ground, hovering over the blanket that they had coiled under it in case it had dropped in the night. The two of them ran their hands over it, muttering to the fruit as they checked it over. Lan Wangji heard a few knowing chuckles from the crowd as the rest of the clan walked into the courtyard.

The space was soon crowded with the clan, their low susurration of voices relaxing. Lan Wangji closed his eyes, enjoying the sound of it until a hand came to rest on his shoulder again.

He lifted his head slightly, not bothering to open his eyes. Only two people were comfortable touching him like this, his brother and uncle, and Lan Qiren always touched him softly and gently, like he was still a young hina that would startle and run.

Lan Wangji kept his eyes closed for a moment more before opening them to look up as his brother. Lan Xichen gave him another worried look before leaning in close. “We don’t have to stay the whole time. That you’re here in the beginning means a lot.”

He shook his head. “I can stay. It’s nice to be outside.”

“Ah.” Lan Xichen gave him a knowing smile. “Have we finally found how long you can remain in seclusion?”

Lan Wangji gave his brother a look, watching as Lan Xichen relaxed. That was good, his brother was already holding the weight of the leadership of the sect on his shoulders, he didn’t need all of Lan Wangji’s worries on his shoulders as well.

He hummed, considering his words for a moment. “It is not the location. It is the inability to move that is the worst of it.”

There had never been a time in his life that he couldn’t change his form when he wanted to, wander where he wanted to, save for his time in the cave. The Jingshi was not the Xuanwu’s cave, but the enforced inactivity was just as bad. Lan Wangji could feel the urge to run, to stretch his legs until he was moving through the sky, but he was denied that for a little bit longer.

Lan Xichen patted his shoulder. “I’ve heard that it will be soon. When that day comes, I’ll find something for you to do, far away from classes.”

Lan Wangji sighed, his thanks and relief in the sound. Lan Xichen responded with one more pat before sitting down on the bench beside him.

If there was any more conversation, it was stopped as the ranka rocked.

Lan Wangji sucked in a deep breath and found himself leaning forward. It didn’t matter how many of the ceremonies he attended, every once was special. The tree itself seemed to echo that, considering that it had not let go of its precious charge even as it was ready to hatch.

Lan Chenge gasped and made frantic motions back towards the crowds, many hands quick to give her more blankets as well as a prepared bottle. The latter was handed to Lan Linhe before the two settled again.

The first crack in the fruit was greeted with a gasp, the entire clan leaning forward and watching in hushed silence.

Hatching ranka never had a timetable, they went according to their own pace. They could only sit and watch as more cracks appeared and the fruit rocked.

The branch was the first to give out, Lan Chinge and Lan Linhe reaching out to catch it despite the blanket. Despite their best attempts, the ranka was jarred a bit, almost the whole crowd muttering as a portion of the fruit gave away. For a moment, there was nothing, but then a spindly leg kicked through the hole, inhumanly articulated and ending in a cloven hoof.

Lan Wangji went still, his nostrils flaring although there was nothing to smell, just the sweet scent of the inside of a ranka. But he couldn’t deny what he saw, that was the leg of a hina, black and kicking as they tried to free themselves from the fruit. The whole ranka rocked with their impatience before their horn pierced through the weakened outer rind.

Lan Wangji stared at it, watching the horn saw back and forth like one of the branches of the riboku tree. Then the little kirin was kicking free into its parents’ arms, its black coat catching the sun as it laid partially on them and in the blankets. It sneezed a few times, clearing the last of the ranka juice from its nostrils. Then, it looked around, ears flicking as it took in the sights and sounds of the new world. The kirin looked joyful, at odds with the growing feeling of horror.

Everyone knew that a sect had one kirin, one that came for an exemplary leader. The Lan clan hadn’t had one since five generations, and now they had two. Two would be impossible to maintain.

Everyone knew that if a sect had two kirin, the elder was dying.

Beside him, Lan Xichen made a choked noise, his brother grabbing for his arm. Somewhere behind him, there was a commotion, Lan Wangji aware of someone calling for Lan Qiren and then shouting for help.

He should have turned around and done something, but he couldn’t stop staring at the hina in the arms of his parents. He watched the foal nuzzle into Lan Linhe’s side and stomach, its little tail twitching in happiness. It was reassured by the presence of its parents, and probably looking for its bottle, which neither of them were reaching for. Instead they had turned to look at where he was sitting, horror clear on their faces.

Lan Chinge was the one to move first, the woman prostrating herself completely on the ground in front of their bench. “Sect leader… we didn’t know. We…we didn’t ask for this. We didn’t mean any harm. We’re sorry. We’re so sorry.”

She was sobbing the words out now, repeating them over and over as Lan Xichen failed to react. He was just squeezing Lan Wangji’s arm tighter and tighter, but Lan Wangji could hardly feel it.

All he could do was look at the hina in its parents’ arms, and feel a sense of freedom.

---

Lan Wangji jerked awake in the middle of the night, confused about what had woken him. There was nothing off about the Cloud Recesses, although his sense of the place had dulled since he had bowed to Wei Ying. It was still home, but it wasn’t in the same vibrancy. Or maybe it was because of the hina that had been hatched.

He considered it for a moment before he felt panic rip through him.

He was up and out of his bed before he had thought through what he was doing. Lan Wangji pulled himself to a stop, shaking as he tried to sort out what he needed to do. He felt the urge to run as a kirin, because it would be faster. Run until he took to the sky and keep running until…where?

West, the feeling urged him. Always west towards where his heart beat.

Lan Wangji took a couple of steps forward, tugging at his robes absently. He would need to take them off so he wasn’t stumbling over them when he changed his shape. But he would need to open the door first, unless he wanted to jump out of a window.

The urgency said yes, but Lan Wangji held himself back. He wanted to understand what was happening before rushing off.

He only had a moment more of clear thought before the pain ripped through him, Lan Wangji stumbling to the door and yanking it open. He left it open behind him as he ran from the Jingshi. Lan Wangji didn’t care that he was breaking the rules, he was focused on the pain that he felt lancing through him, something deep that dug in and twisted with horrible familiarity.

It had felt like this when the Cloud Recesses were being burned down, sparks of pain running through his body for every member of his sect lost. He thought he had had the last of it then, but that was before he had bowed.

Lan Wangji gritted his teeth and stumbled onto the main path, panting for breath. He glanced around wildly, not quite sure what he was searching for. He felt like he was one second from clawing his way out of his skin just to get it to stop.

He took a step forward, his bad leg shaking and then collapsing under him. Lan Wangji tumbled to the ground, letting it happen because him falling didn’t seem real. The flashes of pain from distant Yunmeng felt more real. He was drowning in that, gasping for breath as uncountable lives were snuffed out.

One of them could be Wei Ying’s, and he would never know. It would just be one more.

He curled up on the gravel, shivering as he was lost in the attack. Lan Wangji dug a hand into his hair and tried to breathe, feeling like he was nothing but pain. He even lost track of where he was until he felt someone touch him. It still took them shaking him for Lan Wangji to look up.

He was vaguely surprised that Lan Xichen was kneeling by his side. His brother should have been asleep. He should have been asleep. But Lan Xichen was leaning over him with a worried expression on his face.

“Wangji?”

Lan Wangji shook his head, finding words fleeing from him as soon as he thought of them.  He tried to gather them together, only managing two. “Jiang sect.”

Lan Xichen stared at him for a moment, his incomprehension clear. But at least he didn’t question him, or try to press at the moment. He just slipped his arm around Lan Wangji, offering support to get him up. It was not a solution to the problem, but it was his brother, so it meant that something would get done.

Lan Wangji leaned into his brother as he got unsteadily to his feet. He didn’t try to pull away as Lan Xichen let him back to the Jingshi, Lan Wangji needing his brother’s steady presence to remain upright.

---

They caught up to the Wens just on what was considered the border of Gusu. That had to be one of the reasons that he was so jumpy, having the Wens so close to his home after what had happened before. Lan Wangji was still sure that he could smell the fire and the blood, which made his skin want to shiver. But he couldn’t, not while he was in his human form, which made him all the more irritable.

Instead, he found himself finding the small scars in the inside of his mouth, left over from the spiked bit. Most of them were healed, but the deepest still had scabs. Lan Wangji stopped himself short of rubbing them off, because then he would be left with blood in his mouth, which wouldn’t help the situation. He needed his mind to be sharp instead of muddled by blood. He needed to defend his home, even if he was never going to be kirin of it. A kirin couldn’t have two sects, not really. What he had was a sect convinced that he would die as soon as his cultivation failed him, and an actual chosen person, already part of another sect.

What he had was nothing permanent, but it felt righter than his former title had felt.

What he had now, was his chosen missing for two months now, and the only answer in the complex in front of him.

Lan Wangji dropped his hand down to where Bichen was at his side, running his fingers over its hilt. The plan was to hold until the Jiang forces could circle around the other side to catch the Wen soldiers that would try to escape. It had been easier when he and Jiang Wanyin had worked it out before. But that was when he hadn’t been looking at the building and thinking about Wei Ying.

There was every chance that Wei Ying wouldn’t be in the building.

But there was every chance that he was.

Lan Wangji was moving before he had thought about it. His only rebuke was a hiss from the Lan cultivators that were following him. It didn’t last long, because they trusted him and, perhaps, they hoped to preserve his life for a little longer. Now that he wasn’t immortal in their eyes, he was something precious to be kept safe, because he was one of theirs, and someone would have to train the hina when he was weaned.

They marched on the complex, moving swiftly with their small numbers, moving through the brush until they had to spill out on the road.

It was a testament to the confidence of the Wen forces that they didn’t notice until they were rising on their swords over the gates to attack the few sentries on duty.

Lan Wangji stayed far away from the fighting, instead dismounting from Bichen and rushing for the stairs. He resorted to shoving past the few reinforcements that bothered to respond to the alarm. Lan Wangji could smell the alcohol on their breaths, the situation falling firmly into place. With the past few Wen victories, they must have been celebrating, thinking that they were safe, even so close to Gusu.

If he had had ears that could move, they would have been pinned, but Lan Wangji was sure that the Wens got the message well enough with the way that he shouldered past them.

He stepped onto the courtyard, glancing around at the drunk and sleeping Wens. Only one looked up, giving him a flirtatious wave before rolling back over.

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes and walked over to the gate. He grabbed the bar and shoved at it, ignoring the twinge of pain from his leg. It complained with hard work, something that he supposed that he would have to get used to. By all rights he should take another month to rest, but he didn’t have that.

Wei Ying had been missing for two months, and it was likely that the Wens had him. The very idea made his blood boil, because Wei Ying was his.

He shoved his shoulder against the bar one more time before it started to move, Lan Wangji levering it away before letting it drop. From there it was easy to swing open the gates.

The scent of blood was already starting to drift down to him, making his stomach twist. He turned his head to the side, pressing his face into the shoulder of his robes for the space of a few breaths. It would be best to move away and open the back gate for the Jiangs before his head started to spin.

Lan Wangji strode away from the gate, leaving the sleeping soldiers. They would wake up disoriented and be easy enough to round up. Jiang Cheng would want to question them later, once they were sure that they were secure.

He stepped through the open door, walking down the hallway and heading right for the courtyard that would be at the center of the complex. From all appearances, it looked like the Wens had taken over an old house. It looked lightly used, but Lan Wangji couldn’t be sure that it was abandoned before the Wens had moved it. He would ask at the town that they had skirted around. Someone might know the owner. And, if they returned, it might be another ally.

Lan Wangji let his hand rest loosely on Bichen as he made his way through the halls. Already he could see the courtyard where the house butted up against the back wall and the small gate. The Jiangs would be further out, but there was no harm in opening the gate early. There would be no reinforcements.

He was padding past an antechamber was he heard the sound of laughter. He froze in place, turning his head towards the sound. He had thought all of the soldiers were outside, but he had been wrong.

Lan Wangji stayed frozen in place, listening to the sound of distant voices. He could pick out four or five, a dangerous number when he was alone and careless. But they also sounded very drunk, which meant that he could sneak past them easily. It also meant that he would have to guard the door, which would horribly alter their plans, unless he could lock the speakers in.

He hesitated for a moment before changing his direction towards the door. As he got closer, he could pick out the voices, Lan Wangji turning them out until he heard something familiar.

“The Jiang Sect of Lotus Pier?” He came to a stop again, staring at the door. He couldn’t see anything that could be used to lock it immediately, but the thought was stripped away when the voice continued.

“Second Master and I devastated them all. That poor bastard, Jiang Cheng. His golden core was crushed by Wen Zhuliu. Disciple of a great sect? What a joke! Piece of shit after all!”

He frowned, tucking away that piece of information. Jiang Wanyin had said nothing about it, which was not surprising. And it didn’t make sense considering that he obviously had a core now. It might have been a rumor spread around the Wen soldiers to try and boost morale. Or maybe it was partial news spread around. He had never heard Jiang Wanyin contradict the statement, and Lan Wangji didn’t ever think he would.

He shook his head and reached into his sleeve to pull out in Qiankun bag. He kept a few extra strings for is guqin in there, in case of emergency. There might be a way for him to tie the door shut with them.

His fingers closed around the string was another voice piped up, the question freezing him in place.

“Hey, what about the arrogant one? What was his name again?”

“Wei…”

“Wei Wuxian.”

Lan Wangji could feel his heart pounding, his mouth going dry. For a moment, he was sure that his heart was too loud and that they would hear him. That couldn’t happen, because he needed to know. He was sure that he would have felt it if Wei Ying had died, he had to have.

He crept closer to the door, resting his hand on it as he heard the first voice laugh on the other side. He waited for the sound to die down a bit before inching the door open.

The door moved without much of a sound, and the soldiers didn’t seem to notice it. They were too busy gathering around the speaker, jars of alcohol still in their hands. The speaker was the only one facing the door, but he was already turning, motioning for the others to settle down before he started talking.

“Yes, that’s it. Young master is too good a title for him, he was just the son of a servant.” Lan Wangji bristled, coiling the guqin string through his fingers.

The man took another drink, lingering over it for a moment before throwing back his head with a laugh. “In a Yiling teahouse, we beat him up! Like a sandbag! Too bad you weren’t there. You didn’t see the look on his face when he was thrown down.”

The words made him go cold, Lan Wangji staring at the men as they laughed at raised their jars to their leader. Their words were just background noise to the rushing in his ears.

Wei Ying had been thrown down.

He didn’t realize that he had shoved open the door until he heard it crack against the frame on the other side and sag, broken. The men in the room turned towards him, blinking blearily before leaping for their swords.

They moved slowly, too slow.

Lan Wangji tossed one end of the guqin string out, looping it around the nearest Wen’s neck. He had done the same to the Xuanwu, but that had been harder. Now the string cut almost too deep before Lan Wangji stopped it. The room was filled with the scent of blood as it dripped down from the man’s neck. His stomach twisted, but Lan Wangji ignored it, like he would ignore the nausea that would follow. This was too important.

He gave the string a jerk, listening to the man gasp for breath. He only let up when the others stopped moving either out of fear or shock. He still gave them a level stare, trying to keep them all in view. Distantly, he could hear the man who had the guqin string choking, but that wasn’t of interest to him.

Some of them had seen Wei Ying before he had disappeared. That put this interrogation on par with their clearing of the group of soldiers. After all, the Jiang sect would be arriving soon. He had the time, and this was something that Jiang Wanyin would want to know.

It was something that he needed to know. The need for his chosen was a constant itch under his skin, something that he couldn’t just shake away.

He tightened his grip on the guqin string, trying to pull himself through his anger to find the right words.

Then one of the Wen moved, Lan Wangji turning to stare at him. He recognized the man from back when he had been in the Nightless City for indoctrination. This was the man who had spent hours and days pulling on a rope, watching him suffer.

Lan Wangji felt a flash of anger, his whole attention going to that man. “Kneel.”

He didn’t realize that he had practically growled out the word until all of the soldiers had dropped to their knees, even the soldier who had the string around his neck. The soldier who had helped Wen Chao went as far as to kowtow, pressing his face against the floor.

“Mercy. Mercy, please.”

Lan Wangji stared at him. Kirin were known for their great compassion, but Lan Wangji felt none of it. “Where is Wei Ying?”

The silence was deafening, some of the soldiers only able to shake their heads. The others twitched in their nervousness. The worse offender was the man with the string around his neck jerked so it cut in deeper. More blood spilled out, Lan Wangji nearly gagging at the smell.

His knees felt weak and everything was wrong, but he couldn’t move. They knew where Wei Ying was, and he was desperate to know. “Where is he?”

The man raised his hand, motioning for a moment as he drew in short breaths. Lan Wangji was tempted to jerk the string again, but the man took a final breath before starting to speak. “W-we found him in Yiling.”

“And then?”

“T-the Burial Mounds. We threw him into the Burial Mounds.”

Lan Wangji stared at him, the words not making sense.

The Burial Mounds were a blighted land, a mass grave that no one could tame or calm the restless dead. Cultivators had tried and died. Kirin couldn’t come near without collapsing. The whole world smelled of blood there, because that was all that the land remembered. Nothing could survive there.

Wei Ying had disappeared two months ago.

Wei Ying might have been dead for two months.

Something deep in him rejected it even as the rest of his world reeled.

He would have known if Wei Ying was dead. He had bowed, that meant that they were connected. Whether Wei Ying had actually approved in his delirious state was something else, but Lan Wangji had felt the proof of it all. He had felt the Jiang Sect being slaughtered. If he focused on it, he could still feel it happening, sparks of pain through him. Then there was the pain of his own sect being attacked, the days spent in the Nightless City and the days spent walking through battlefields until he was permanently nauseous and shaky from the blood.

He must have made some kind of noise because the soldiers recoiled. Lan Wangji watched them, surprised by the temptation to twitch his fingers. It would be like the Xuanwu. But he couldn’t do it. Then he had had no choice, but now he had plenty of choices.

Lan Wangji took a deep breath, pausing at the apex of it when he heard the sound of boots heading towards them. He remained still until he heard the distinct sound of Jiang Wanyin’s voice. The Jiang sect had finally arrived, so they could be left to them. Besides, Jiang Wanyin would want to hear what happened to his brother and given his chance. All Lan Wangji wanted to do was get away, maybe run until he hit the Burial Mounds and try and wade into it.

He flipped the guqin string away, listening to the man gasp for breath. Lan Wangji looked at the others, relieved that they were still kneeling. A kirin he may be, but this was war, and he wasn’t feeling precisely merciful, empathetic, generous, or any of the other qualities that he was supposed to be. He felt sick, exhausted, and heartsore. He wanted to go back to the calm of the Cloud Recesses and climb to the highest peak to cleanse himself of the war.

He wanted Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji backed towards the door  even as he kept an eye on the soldiers. They were shifting nervously now as they saw the Jiang sect cultivators rushing through. One jumped at the crackle and snap of Zidan, but Lan Wangji glared at him to hold the man in place.

“Lan Wangji!” He didn’t turn when Jiang Wanyin called him, but he did tip himself slightly towards the man to show that he was listening. He didn’t need to look to be sure of Jiang Wanyin’s annoyance. “You were supposed to wait.”

“We had a chance and took it.  It was lightly garrisoned.”

“You could have sent a signal.”

They could have done that, but there was no use arguing about it now. Instead, he tipped his head towards the room. “They know where Wei Ying is.”

Jiang Wanyin went quiet, the kind of quiet that Lan Wangji had come to know as dangerous. He turned his head just enough to see Jaing Wanyin storming over to him.

He walked right past Lan Wangji and into the room, glaring at the Wen soldiers. “Well?”

Lan Wangji turned away as he heard them start to protest their innocence. He knew how this would go. Jiang Wanyin might have different cracks than he did, but this one ran along the same fault as his. But Jiang Wanyin hadn’t been raised with Lan restraint, he was all rage and anger. Lan Wangji almost envied him that, but he didn’t want to witness it, not when there would be blood and he was already at his limit.

He walked away, bracing himself for the now familiar sickness when he heard the crackle of Zidan.

---

Wei Ying was different. He was too thin and smelled of blood. There was a wariness about him that made him look like he was ready to run at all times. Lan Wangji wanted to soothe it away, because Wei Ying was back, which meant that they could stand together. He was a kirin, and Wei Ying was his.

And then…

“What do you care about my heart anyway?”

Three months of searching and worry. Three months of battling his way through Wen strongholds and swallowing back his nausea at the smell of blood. Three months of desperation finally broke the cracks open in a new and different way, and the anger that he had distantly envied in Jiang Wanyin came rushing out.

“WEI WUXIAN!”

“LAN WANGJI!”

---

The battlefield was no place for a kirin, that was one of the first lessons that he had learned. It was one of the few things that was written about the kirin. They were heavenly creatures, beloved of the Emperor of Heaven. Blood made them sick, because it was against their very nature. They were meant to stay behind and keep the sect running while their chosen went out to fight. It was just as essential, and far safer.

And yet, here Lan Wangji was, Bichen in hand, cutting his way through the Wens.

He fought against the instinct to recoil as the blood arced away from the cut, years of practice keeping it off of him. Lan Wangji was sure that as long as he avoided that end, he would be fine. It was nothing more than what he had experienced before.

It was not quite a lie, and it was enough to keep him moving.

Lan Wangji ducked under another swing, vaguely noting the frantic nature of it. They must be getting desperate, especially with the victories that Nie Mengjue had won. Lan Xichen said that he was tearing towards them, and that they would push the Wens back to the Nightless City. That was good, because it meant that this would all be over.

He turned on the ball of his foot, avoiding another blind slash. He flicked his blade out, pausing just long enough to see that it connected before moving away.

From somewhere off to his left he could hear the snap and crackle of Zidan, as well as the cheers from the Jiang cultivators. Every once and a while he could hear the strum of a guqin as a Lan cultivator passed close.

He should have been back there with them, it was safer and what his brother expected. But Wei Ying had been gone for three months and come back changed. Lan Wangji no longer saw the sun when he looked at him, it felt like an overcast day. But Wei Ying was there, and alive, so he would stay by his side as he had pledged. It was against the rules to make oaths lightly.

Besides, these were the Wens. They were threatening his home, his sect – both Jiang and Lan – and he couldn’t stand by and allow that. Standing to the sidelines or just organizing supplies didn’t sit right when he could take action. Three months of constantly moving and searching had made staying still unthinkable.

Lan Wangji stepped back as another Wen charged at him, ready to deflect the clumsy sword strike when the man stopped, his eyes wide.

“Kirin.”

Lan Wangji didn’t bother to respond. He just stepped forward and swung Bichen down for a strike. To his surprise, the man scrambled away, shouting to the others about the kirin. Lan Wangji thought he saw a few of them running off, which was the first good sense they had shown. But they wouldn’t escape. The Nie sect was on that side and, even without Nie Mengjue leading that group, they would be ruthless.

He frowned and turned, taking the moment to breathe shallowly and try to gathering himself back together. The longer the stayed the harder it was to keep from bolting from the battle, but he had to hold.

Lan Wangji jumped at the first haunting notes of a dizi, forgetting the battle for a moment. All around him, he could see others doing the same, trying to find the source of the haunting tune.

He turned slowly, sucking in a quick breath at the sight of the black robes through the battle. Lan Wangji felt his heart race in worry, because Wei Ying was unprotected and he no longer carried a sword.

Lan Wangji stumbled forward a few steps before jerking to a halt, his entire body trembling.

Corpses were starting to jerk and twitch on the ground, called by the dizi to rise to their feet. Lan Wangji could hear them groaning and complaining, like they would have rather stayed dead. But they obeyed all the same. Chenqing was impossible to ignore.

The dead clambered stiffly to their feet as the living backed away, giving Wei Ying a wide berth as he continued to walk forward with his newly risen guard.

Their allies fell back as well, Lan Wangji catching their looks of shock and horror. They were shaking too, looking moment away from running from the dizi music.

If they could hear it they wouldn’t. Really hear beyond the sound of the music itself. There was a command in there, one that he had bound himself to by making his oath. Wei Ying was telling him to fight, to kill the Wens.

Lan Wangji’s hand shook where it held Bichen, some small part of his mind telling him to ignore it, but he couldn’t do that. It was a command from his chosen, and a kirin would never ignore that.

He turned, adjusting his grip on Bichen as his hand stopped shaking. A feeling of surety settled over him, calming, and welcoming. He knew what to do, and his chosen was close. As long as the dizi played, he had no fear and no doubts.

He could no longer smell the blood.

---

It was late when Lan Wangji stumbled back into the Lan camp. It was getting close to nine, and he was desperate for sleep and a bath because he could feel the sweat and grim settling deep in him. He wanted the battlefield off of him for the foreseeable future. It wouldn’t be long, because there would always be another plan, another battle, and he would follow Wei Ying into it just as always.

It wasn’t his place, but there was nowhere else he could be.

Lan Wangji ducked into his tent, taking a deep breath and immediately regretting it. He was far away from the battlefield, far away from the sound of Wei Ying’s dizi, so far away from the protection that it offered.

He dropped to his knees at the smell of blood, twitching as instinct told him to take on his kirin shape. That was safe, he could outrun the scent. The blood was undoing him, weakening his hold on his human form.

Lan Wangji clawed at the front of his robes. He didn’t want to be tangled in them when he changed, it was very likely that he would be trapped unless he ripped them. That was of course, if he could move. He was covered in blood.

He shuddered, his fingers plucking at the ties before the fell away and he shuddered into the change. Lan Wangji managed to wiggled out of his outermost layer before his shape changed.

Lan Wangji tried to keep still as he settled into his kirin shape, although his skin shivered at the proximity to so much blood. It must have soaked through his layers all the way down to the bottom, and he hadn’t noticed. The dizi hadn’t allowed that of him and he missed it now. He wanted that immunity desperately as he tried to pull his legs free without ripping his clothes.

His forelegs were easier to maneuver, Lan Wangi lifting one at a time until he could shake his robes free of them. Then it was a matter of freeing his hindlegs. That should have been the easy part, but his right leg wouldn’t take his weight, shaking and sore from battle. The break had healed properly this time, but the leg still tormented him after use. It was easier when he was human, as a kirin he needed the leg for the extra lift.

Lan Wangji flattened his ears, trying two more times to place his right hind leg on the ground before it managed to stay. He hauled himself up onto his hooves before his leg decided to protest again.

The doctor at the Cloud Recesses said that the best thing for it was careful meditation to encourage his qi to help healing and gentle exercise. Lan Wangji had been doing the former, but he doubted that three months of chasing after Wei Ying and committing himself to the war effort counted as the latter.

He exhaled, dropping his head low. He lifted his right hoof from the ground, seeking some relief from the ache. He still wanted to bathe, but that would involve movement that he wasn’t ready for yet. Instead, he just closed his eyes, letting his head hang low.

Lan Wangji didn’t know when he slipped into an accidental doze. He only knew when he startled out of it when someone barged into the tent.

He startled, his head jerking up and his right leg dropping down. He fought back a wince at the action, instead focusing on turning as gracefully as he could in the small space.

Lan Xichen stood in the entrance to his tent, his eyes wide in shock. Lan Wangji could see the lines that stress had etched his brother’s face, and he was sure that a few were there because of him. He felt bad about that, considering that he was supposed to be helping in whatever way he could. He might not have been the Lan kirin anymore, but he could at least perform part of that duty while the young hina grew. It was easy while everyone was in one place.

“Xiongzhang.” He tipped his head in recognition, surprised when Lan Xichen set Shouyue on the ground and rushed over. Lan Wangji raised his head nervously as his brother reached out, his hands hovering over him. Lan Wangji allowed it, because it was Lan Xichen, and his brother’s hands were shaking badly.

Lan Xichen stroked down his neck, pushing his mane aside to peer underneath it. It felt weird to have his mane lying on the wrong side of his neck, almost as strange as his brother’s touch. That was something he did not like, something bad to have come out of his bow. But he stood and allowed it, because he would not let his choice take this away from him.

He turned his head as Lan Xichen started to work down his shoulder. Lan Wangji sighed, trying again. “Xiongzhang…”

“You weren’t here.” The words were accompanied by a hard scratch. Lan Wangji was sure that his brother didn’t know he had done it, so he stood still. Instead, he just canted his ears toward Lan Xichen, carefully watching his brother.

Lan Xichen took a couple of deep breaths before starting his inspection again, his fingers shaking against Lan Wangji’s dappled grey coat. “I came earlier to retrieve your report from yesterday. You weren’t here.”

Lan Wangji stayed silent, which made Lan Xichen press hard against his flanks for a moment before pulling his hands away. “There’s plenty to keep you busy, so I asked for word to be sent. I didn’t hear, until those that went out to fight today returned. They said you had been there.”

It wasn’t a question, noe was it Lan Xichen asking for an explanation, which Lan Wangji would have liked better. He could at least give an accounting for what he had done, or at least share the one thing he had been keeping from his brother. But the silence offered him nothing, and he couldn’t string together the right words for it. It was helplessness and Wei Ying and a thousand things his brother had once been able to see. That he couldn’t now was more frightening than anything else.

“Xiongzhang, I-”

“What possessed you to go there?” Lan Wangji lifted his head and shied away at the sudden movement that Lan Xichen made, stumbling over the robes. He hobbled awkwardly over them, turning to face his brother as Lan Xichen spun to face him. “You could have died, or been captured!”

Lan Wanji shifted his tongue, feeling it brush across one of the scars in his mouth from the bit. He moved it back a moment later, lifting his muzzle slightly. “I was are of the risks.”

“I know. I know you are, but are you thinking of all of them? What about the rest of us? If they had heard you had been captured or killed…”

The idea made his stomach twist, perhaps more than the scent of blood did. “I was well protected. The others did not leave my side.”

“Anything could have happened.”

“Anything could have happened to you, and you are sect leader.”

“You are our kirin.” Lan Xichen took a step back, his hand dropping to where he had Liebing. His fingers curled around the xiao, still shaking. “If we lost you, it would be just as demoralizing.”

He wanted to say that they had already lost him, because he had chosen someone else. If he said it, it would at least ease his brother’s worry, because there were never two kirin for the same sect. On the rare occasions is happened, one was always bound to be dying.

He opened his mouth to speak, snapping it shut when his brother spoke up again. “We’ve already lost father and mother. Things are already dangerous without you charging into battle. There’s too much blood and, if you faint…”

“I don’t.”

Lan Xichen gave him a long look before his gaze dropped to the bloodstained robes on the floor. Lan Wangji followed his gaze. They looked worse now that he could see all of them. Some part of him wanted to kick them into a corner and not look at them again, but they needed to be cleaned. And soon unless he wanted the scent of blood to linger.

But that was the problem. He had been wearing those robes since the battle had finished, and he had walked back to his tent wearing them. He could understand that he hadn’t felt faint or nauseous when the dizi was playing, he couldn’t think of anything but the orders he was given by the song. But as soon as it had stopped he should have done something, fainted or thrown up. But he had walked back, he had done the impossible thing of walking while covered in blood. He had been reeling but upright.

It wasn’t right. He had seen Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixun both faint from just the scent of blood on someone else. When they had been wearing the spiked bits, they had been practically catatonic. He had been too, only really remembering to resist and perk up when Wei Ying and the others came to wipe the worst of it off at the end of the day.

He turned to look at his brother, feeling at lost as Lan Xichen looked. None of it was right, and he didn’t know what had happened. Very little had changed. He had bowed to Wei Ying, but that hadn’t changed anything. There had been the Xuanwu cave, which might have helped because he was trapped in a place that smelled of nothing but blood and there had been no escape from it. Or it had been what the Wens had done to them.

Or maybe it had happened after Wei Ying had returned smelling of blood and dead things.

Lan Wangji didn’t have an answer, and that frightened him the most. He was safely defined by the things that he was, but now he wasn’t sure if he was a kirin anymore. Maybe after everything that had been done to him, and everything he was putting himself through for Wei Ying and his sect he was becoming something else.

His ears twitched, but he fought to keep them even. He didn’t need his brother panicking about this as well as everything else. Besides, he was not ready to come to him with an answer, and leaving it hanging without an answer didn’t seem to be something that would help. But he couldn’t just leave Lan Xichen without any explanation, it felt too much like lying.

“I promise that I will not go without telling xiongzhang.”

“Wangji…”

“I go because of Wei Ying.”

“Ah.” Understanding crossed Lan Xichen’s face. For a moment, Lan Wangji was sure that his brother understood, which was an immense relief. But then Lan Xichen was nodding. “It must be a relief that he had returned.”

There was something about the wavering smile that said Lan Xichen knew far too much, but also far too little. Lan Wangji nodded, because it was true.

Lan Xichen stared at him for a moment longer before sighing. “You know he was only expelled from classes. He is more than welcome to visit.”

It was a sensible suggestion, but it wouldn’t work. Lan Wangji was sure that he wouldn’t be able to just survive on Wei Ying’s visits. They would have been rare, if any. More than likely they would have only been when Jiang Wanyin was there. But that was an end that would never come.

He turned to look at his brother, taking a deep breath only to hold it when he heard someone calling for his brother. From the volume, it was probably Nie Mengjue.

Lan Xichen gave him an apologetic look before reaching up to pull Lan Wangji’s mane back to the proper side. “We’ll talk more later. Until then, warn me.”

“Of course, xiongzhang.” The promise was small enough, and something that he should have done before. More importantly, it brought a smile to his brother’s face, which was getting rarer these days.

He turned to watch as Lan Xichen strode to the entrance of the tent, ducking out and calling to Nie Mengjue. Lan Wangji pricked an ear, listening to the tone of their voices before turning away. He wouldn’t eavesdrop, there were other things that he needed to do, like launder his clothes and take a bath. But his bed was just as tempting, although not suitable considering his form. Lan Wangji wasn’t sure that he had the strength to change back, which meant that he might as well make his way to the stream and try to wash the worst of the day off.

Lan Wangji took a cautious step forward. He was relieved when his leg held his weight. There was a little bit of a wobble, but it was a familiar one. It would ease after he had walked for a bit.

He took a few more steps, pausing at a familiar sound. He swiveled his ears at the sound of the dizi.

It was Wei Ying. He knew the sound of Chenqing very well by now. It didn’t carry any order; it was just playing for the sake of it. That was more like him, the Wei Ying who had infuriated and fascinated him by turns back in the Cloud Recesses.

Lan Wangji sighed, tempted to seek Wei Ying out. If he was like this, maybe it was a good time to talk. Maybe Wei Ying would want to talk and they wouldn’t end up falling into another argument. Or they would and he would be left feeling sick, covered in grim and mad at Wei Ying. Lan Wangji didn’t feel like he could stand that at the moment.

He took a deep breath to center himself before turning in the opposite direction of the dizi, seeking out the stream and the relief that it would bring.

---

Qilin – a noble and holy creature that chooses the ruler of the secular kingdoms, born from Mount Hou, generally more dragon-like than their kirin cousins possessing manes, beards and scales along their back. Very graceful and deer-like more than horse-like which cloven hooves and antlers rather than a single horn. Generally come in gold or black. Basically, more like the mythical qilin more than the Twelve Kingdoms version.

Kirin – a creature born from a ranka, often from the same tree that humans are born from, do not chose the rulers of kingdoms but instead herald the rise of a great person or sect, although they tend to be born into sects, they are less powerful than their qilin cousins and often rely on cultivation to expand their lifespan to continue to watch over their sect, generally born one per sect and, if there are two in a sect, the older one is bound to die within a few years, more horse-like and having one horn.

ranka – the egg-fruit that people are born from

Riboku – the three that humans, and domesticated animals are grown from, will rarely develop a kirin ranka if in the presence of cultivation

hina – literally fledgling, a baby kirin or qilin

[gaelstudies-blog]

A new university year (or rather, the first university year) is starting for University students all across the UK. As I am going into my third year this Monday, I thought I would share some of my tips and advice.

1. Don’t beat yourself up if other people seem to have it easier

Sometimes it can feel like cliques develop straight away, which if you’re struggling to make friends can make the experience even more isolating. I remember turning up to my first ever class and there was already groups of friends who had bonded well. This made me feel really anxious and hesitant to  make friends incase I was intruding on friendship groups. The reality is that you can make friends at any point in the year, and a lot of people don’t limit how many friends they have. 

2. Your Freshers friends might not be the people you stay friends with

I know a lot of people who had big groups of friends during Freshers and then not long after classes properly started, these friendship groups no longer existed. These people stuck together because they were scared of being alone, and because they didn’t want to miss out on fun events. Which is completely normal and fine. But it does mean that when people feel more confident in themselves and when they branch out more in classes that they might not want to hang around with you anymore. Plus you’ll often find that conflicting timetables, different campuses, and high workloads can put a strain on even the most genuine of Freshers friendships.

3. Don’t slack off just because other people seem to 

There will be a lot of people that simply won’t turn up to a lot (if any) classes, or do any of the readings for seminars or any lecture preparation. And this can make it really tempting to do the same, after all, everyone else is doing it right? But don’t let your grades suffer because you don’t want to stick out. It’s better to be the nerd of the class than make your workload so much harder on yourself. I made the mistake of doing readings before every seminar until a lot of people weren’t doing it, and then I stopped because it felt like there was ‘no point’ to it. But the point is to learn, and that preparation could’ve made exams and assignments a lot easier for me. 

4. Reach out for help - be that mental or academic

As scary as it can be, reaching out for help at university is so crucial. Don’t understand an assignment? Your lecturer will have contact hours and will likely be pretty responsive via emails. You’ll also have a personal tutor that you can flag up issues with. Struggling with mental health issues? Be sure to let your university know so they can put support in place. Your university will have that support available, but sometimes it might not be so well advertised, so be sure to have a look at your university website and ask your lecturers for help. Your university lecturers want you to succeed, and they’ll be really happy to put in the extra support you need to boost your grades.

5. Take first year seriously

For a lot of university students, first year won’t count towards their end grade. Which is why they’re often told to be laid back and just have fun. And whilst not overdoing yourself and having fun is essential, so is putting in the work. Use this year to experiment with different study techniques, use this year to experiment with how you dedicate your time to studying. This way you can really see what works for you and what doesn’t, without you having to worry so much that a mistake can mess up your grade. A lot of people will find that their old study techniques don’t work for them quite so well now that they’re at a higher level and potentially tacking topics in a different way. Instead of desperately trying to make ineffective techniques work, branch out and learn new ones.

6. Don’t overdo yourself with non-course related commitments 

A lot of people will stress the importance of getting involved in societies, trying to build up volunteering experience, as well as having a social life. And again, yes this is important, but it can come at a cost. You might find that this can be really draining for you, leading to mental health complications. You might find that this gives you a lot less time to study which impacts your grades. Be realistic in your expectations for your social life. You don’t have to have something planned every day, or even most days. Try and ease yourself into it, starting off with 1 or 2 commitments and increasing / decreasing later on depending on how your schedule goes. Try and avoid getting involved in any commitments that you can’t back out of, because this can also have a negative impact on you. Be sure also to not miss any classes because of non-course related social events because often times classes cover 1 topic per class, so it can be really easy to fall behind or miss out.

7. It’s never too late to sort out your studying

If you find yourself later in the year not doing much (or any) studying or preparation for classes, don’t be afraid of taking a step back and sorting out your priorities. It might be harder to get back on track, but it’s important to try and get back into studying. At my university, my first lots of assignments are often November or December, which can be a big gap between when I start and when I get proper work to do. This can mean it’s really easy to end up closer to those times having fallen back on my studying. Instead of letting it overwhelm you, choose to get yourself prepared for your next lecture and do some studying straight after having it. This way you can focus on your upcoming lectures and not neglect them for lectures you’ve missed out on in the past.

8. Look out for lectures and events outside your course you can attend

My university often invites speakers in from places like Buzzfeed, Vice, BBC, etc to give lectures which are open to all students. They also host networking events for different industries. Getting involved with these can be a great way to network, develop career knowledge, and also potentially learn things that can improve your own studies. Sometimes I’ve attended a lecture by a speaker for a course outside mine and they’ve touched on a topic which I then studied up on to apply to a current assignment. I also know people that have gotten work published because they spoke to journalists after their talk who were more than happy to help them gain connections or give them advice. Don’t neglect your own classes for them, but be sure to consider them next time you’re bored and looking for something to do. A lot of these will be free also, so it doesn’t matter too much if you end up not enjoying it.

9. Talk with your lecturers

This is one which is often talked about, but I find that a lot of people talk about it in the wrong way. I really would not recommend meeting up with your lecturers every time they have office hours like some people suggest. Instead, meet up with them for the purpose of answering questions that you’re struggling with. Are you struggling with sources? Are you struggling with formatting or understanding an assignment question? They can be a great source of knowledge. Also look to see what work they have published and actually read up on it. This can be a great opportunity to not only find new sources that are likely relevant to your studies but also discuss it with them so you can have a deeper understanding of it. This can also be a great way to build up a relationship with your lecturer. I’ve had lecturers send me free books or give source recommendations because they’ve been interested in what I’ve had to say in class and would like to give me something back in return.

10. Don’t be afraid to turn down drugs  / alcohol

So for a lot of people, Freshers events will have finished. But these opportunities can present themselves again further down the line. Here’s the thing, if people are pressuring you into drinking, smoking, or doing drugs then they’re not your friend. If someone is insistent on you trying drugs or drinking (especially for the first time) then it’s because they want you to embarrass yourself so they can have a laugh. Don’t be afraid of standing up for yourself and saying no and meeting new people who won’t pressure you. You’ll often find that even if you like drinking, sometimes you’ll get invited to nights out when you have a lot of work to do. Again, if they’re your friends then they’ll understand you have other priorities. Yes, it can suck to miss out on things but remember that there’ll be plenty more opportunities to go out and have fun but those hours spent out drinking and being too hungover the next day to study won’t be something you can do over. 

11. Get involved with the student union and other university jobs

Your university Student Union is a fantastic resource, where they can help you if you’ve been accused of plagiarism or any other academic misconduct. They will represent you against the university to ensure that you get the best possible outcome. They can also assist you with housing issues, financial issues, and a whole host of other things. Additionally, they will often put on great events and the student union can be a chilled place to hang out. As a university student, you’ll automatically be a member of your student union so be sure to check it out and get to know more about your one. They often provide students with jobs, which are usually extremely flexible to fit your timetable. Additionally, at my university there’s a student ambassador scheme. Where I get paid to help out at open days, visit schools to tell them about university life, and more. I sign up for shifts, so I can tailor it extremely well depending on the time of year and my timetable. Be sure to check out if your university has this or anything similar. As it can be a great way to make money alongside your studies, without having to worry so much about having a boss that wants you to prioritise them instead of your studies. I know a lot of people that have had bosses schedule shifts for when they’ve had classes which can cause a whole host of problems. Because I work as part of the university and as part of the student union, this isn’t an issue for me - so it’s definitely something to look into and consider. 

12. Get involved in mentorship schemes or workshops

A lot of universities will have a mentorship scheme in place. Be that, a 2nd or 3rd year student helping a student in the year below to improve their studies or having someone from a particular industry come in and help a student with improving their career development skills. My university puts on a lot of workshops where they will go over your CV and help you improve it, as well as offering tailored workshops for industry particular CVS (e.g. making or improving an engineering CV). They also have workshops where they help students improve their academic writing, or their English (if their native language isn’t English) and many more. I also know that the same is true of a lot of other universities. So be sure to have a look out for these events and put yourself forward for them. Having a mentor can be invaluable for networking, improving study skills, improving grades, or knowing how to get your foot in the door to a particular industry and all sorts. Doing workshops might seem boring, until they help you get in to the job you want or help you know what job it is you want. A lot of them will be free, and they’re definitely worth giving a go. Remember that whilst university life is about your academic success you want to then be able to get a good job at the end of it.

I hope you all have a fantastic first year, and I’m always happy to answer any questions you may have. I’m a third year Global Politics and International Relations student in London, I also transferred courses in my second year. I’m a student ambassador and I’m a worker in the student union. So don’t be afraid to ask me any question, no matter how silly you think it might be.

If you liked what I had to say and/or found it useful in any way, then consider donating to my ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/gaelstudies

[insanityclause]

As Hollywood contemplates the risks and uncertainties around going back into production in the coming months after coronavirus-imposed shutdowns, strategies for scaled-back sets are beginning to emerge. Producers Brian Kavanaugh-Jones and Chris Ferguson — from the companies Automatik (“Honey Boy,” “Bad Education”) and Oddfellows (“Child’s Play”), respectively — have created a proposal titled “Isolation Based Production Plan,” which Variety has obtained.

They began working on it weeks ago, sending versions of the multi-page document to colleagues and industry friends asking for feedback about what in the plan would and would not work. It would be most directly applicable to lower-to-mid-budget movies, but elements of it could be used for other types of productions. The proposal — surely one of many being worked on at studios and production companies in the entertainment industry — sheds light on what types of precautions will need to be taken, and what sacrifices might have to be made for Hollywood to get back to work after the production shutdown that occurred en masse in mid-March.

Kavanaugh-Jones and Ferguson spoke with Variety reluctantly about the plan, because of the sensitivities around scaled-down sets, particularly with unions. They also expressed qualms about speaking out in the current environment, when the idea of going back to work has been politicized, becoming yet another toxic division in the United States. “I wouldn’t want to be misconstrued as advocating for the reopening of production,” Ferguson said. “We’re just building ideas around maybe what could happen when it feels like the right thing.”

They emphasized that their two companies have no timetables to get back into production, and said that the copy of the plan was the fourth or fifth draft of it. Ferguson called it “a living, breathing document.”

The document, as it stands, would require entire production teams to follow stringent rules to minimize the spread of the coronavirus. The entire cast and crew would be in a two-week quarantine before they would begin production, and would be tested. It’s not laid out in the plan, but Kavanaugh-Jones said he envisions treating the production like one in a “distant location,” where “a small crew takes over a hotel that has been aggressively cleaned, and they live there full-time completely quarantined.”

After they complete their quarantine, the proposal lays out that they will be divided into three pods: Pod 1 would be the on-set cast and crew, Pod 2 is base camp (makeup and hair, catering) and Pod 3 is set design/prep. Pod 1 would be a minimum of 17 people, plus the cast — including a director, cinematographer and one on-set producer. Any stunts or VFX supervisors would be additional members of the on-set crew. “I think what we tried to do was apply the indie model to this document,” Kavanaugh-Jones said.

He acknowledged that many actors, directors and other members of production would not want to do it. But others might: “I think there are going to be some people that say, ‘Yeah, I’m up for it. I’ll go self-isolate in a hotel room for 14 days, and have my food delivered by a specific delivery service and wipe everything down and be really aggressive about that, so that on day 15, I can go shoot something with my coworker-slash-castmate who’s done the same.”

In the proposal, costumes, props and sets would also be put in quarantine. Locations and sets would be dressed, and then sealed for three days (or whatever the most conservative estimate is) “to allow viruses on surfaces to die.”

Each pod would have a position called a “quarantine supervisor.” The document contains a job description: “They will each be responsible for supervising and enforcing quarantine and disinfecting protocols. They will also be regularly disinfecting and cleaning common surfaces throughout the day. The Quarantine Supervisor will also check in with each crew member in their pod and check their temperatures.”

The job of quarantine supervisor is, Kavanaugh-Jones said, a “made-up role.” They don’t expect doctors or nurses to take on those responsibilities: “Those folks need to be working at hospitals right now,” he said. Ideally, they said, quarantine supervisors would be unionized health-related specialists with extra training specific to COVID-19.

The production, according to this plan, would also have remote staff, such as the line producer, production manager, buyers and post-production staff (editor, composer, sound mixer).

The changes to production in this plan would be profound, and aesthetics would be affected as well. Hair and makeup, usually a department working on multiple actors at once, would be a single person working on one actor at a time — and not on set. “Makeup application tools & supplies will be purchased per cast member and used only on that individual cast member,” the plan states. “These supplies will be kept in individual cast bags. Cast will remove their own makeup to limit contact at the end of the day.”

Throughout the interview, Kavanaugh-Jones and Ferguson mentioned the types of movies that could be made under these strictures. “Could you go make ‘Avengers’ on this kind of production plan? No,” Kavanaugh-Jones said. “Could you go make ‘127 Hours’? Yes.” Ferguson added that a movie like “300,” Zack Snyder’s effects-heavy 2007 film, something that put “a lot more weight onto post production rather than physical production” could also be produced within these rules.

One dictate of the proposal is that “scripts must be developed and modified to minimize day players” because “there will be no day players” — which would be a huge change for the industry, if implemented widely. The iconic Australian soap opera “Neighbours,” produced by Fremantle Australia, is starting up again next week, without extras and day players. According to the Deadline report about “Neighbours,” the show will use “crew members already on set doubling as background performers,” inflaming several readers in the comments section, who cited SAG-AFTRA’s rules against such things. (SAG-AFTRA does not have jurisdiction over Australian productions. Without seeing this plan’s specifics, David P. White, national executive director, SAG-AFTRA, told Variety: “We have deep concerns about any premature effort to commence production without appropriate safety protocols in place. We will continue our collaboration with industry representatives to develop a responsible plan for a safe return to work, and will aggressively protect SAG-AFTRA’s jurisdiction.”

Additionally, the plan’s proposed bare-bones crew will surely agitate IATSE, the union that represents below-the-line workers — nearly all of whom are out of work right now. But Ferguson and Kavanaugh-Jones emphasize they want to adhere to union rules, and the proposal has a provision to make sure that’s clear: “The production will have to budget for additional days of crew members who will not actually be called to work in order to comply with their jurisdiction’s regulations around minimum hire,” it reads. (IATSE did not immediately respond to a request for comment.)

Additionally, the plan proposes that “shoot days” will be limited to “10-hour days.” Ferguson said that aspect is crucial, because with long days “it’s just going to be impossible to not get sloppy.”

Yes, these things — the 10-hour days, paying crew members not to work — would cost more, Kavanaugh-Jones said: “Everything in that document, everything we’re thinking about is how to prioritize safety over everything else. And if that means that things are going to cost a little bit more or extend a little longer, we’ll just have to decide if that’s possible or not.” Productions in France, he added, have worked 9 1/2-hour days for years.

Whether insurance companies will take a chance on any productions is an open question, and whether financiers would still back a film insured except for a COVID-19 cutout is also a huge question mark. “So how much collective risk are we willing to take as a community?” Kavanaugh-Jones wondered. “That’s going to be the question over the next coming months.”

As for when production might begin again, every answer is imaginary. Whether it’s July, like the TV networks hope it can be, or August or September — no one knows. “Neighbours” starting up again, and film and television production resuming in Sweden and Denmark recently will certainly provide test cases — not cautionary tales, one hopes.

“There is going to be real change and upheaval through all of this, and people are going to have to get really creative and smart,” Kavanaugh-Jones said. “It’s so devastating for so many people. And ultimately that’s the goal of the document — to start the conversation about getting people back to work.”

[incorrectk-popquotes]

I wrote a fic!

Hey guys just wanted to drop by and advertise the new seventeen one shot I wrote!! It’s a meanie college au and its very fluffy and cute!!! Please check it out!! :DD

Title: Take a Break

Summary:  Finals week is just around the corner and to say Wonwoo is stressed would be an understatement. He's been grinding hard at his books for longer than is probably healthy when his concerned boyfriend steps in and forces him to take a study break.

Relationship(s): Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu

Word Count: 1985

Chapter(s): 1/1

AO3 Link

Full fic under the cut!

Finals were next week, and Wonwoo wasn’t sure when he had last gotten up from his desk. His hand was cramped from writing and his eyes ached from lack of sleep. Despite all of that, Wonwoo pressed forward, pouring over his textbooks and practice problems on his computer. To top everything off, the todo list that was stuck to his wall felt 100 miles long, and anytime he crossed one thing off three things were added.

Wonwoo distantly heard Mingyu making some sort of noise in their apartment, but he was too focused to pay much attention to it. Mingyu had been bringing Wonwoo tea and snacks while Wonwoo was studying over the past few weeks. Everytime he came in, he would lightly chide Wonwoo about overworking himself, and normally Wonwoo would allow himself a small break to calm his boyfriend’s worries. Wonwoo doesn’t remember when he last allowed himself a break.

Wonwoo stared unfocused at the biochemistry textbook that he’d been staring at for the past couple days. According to his detailed timetable and study schedule, Wonwoo should be working on calculus. Actually, according to the timetable, he should have finished biochemistry two days ago and should have done genetics, cellular biology, and have started his composition essay.

The words on the textbook page swam in front of his eyes, and when Wonwoo tried to focus on them, all he could see was his mile long todo list and his timetable that he was so far away from. The stress was making him feel crazy.

These exams needed to go well, otherwise his GPA wouldn’t look so hot, and he needed a good GPA if he expected to get into a good medical school. His parents would never look him in the eye again if he didn’t get into a good medical school. The entire world felt like it was collapsing around him.

Wonwoo reached for the mug that rested on the desk, only to find it empty. Sighing, he placed it back down and focused his attention on the textbook in front of him. Practice questions were open on his laptop, but he was getting them all wrong and he couldn’t figure out why. He hadn’t gotten a single one right since he had started doing them some amount of days ago.

Everything was going about as poorly as it could be going.

Mingyu probably knocked on the door like he usually did before he walked in, but Wonwoo was too lost in biochemistry and his daydreams of dropping out to hear him. Wonwoo startled when he felt Mingyu’s arms wrap around his shoulder in a warm hug. When Wonwoo tried to lean forward to try another problem, Mingyu rested his chin on the top of Wonwoo’s head, effectively holding him in place.

“Take a break,” Mingyu said, his voice vibrating against Wonwoo’s back. Wonwoo fought the urge to relax into Mingyu’s chest. His eyes burned from being held open for so long, but he had so much work that he needed to do. There wasn’t any time for him to sleep.

“Can’t,” Wonwoo sighed, trying to shrug Mingyu off his shoulders. It didn’t work. Actually, it didn’t work so spectacularly that he ended up reclined into Mingyu’s chest. Fantastic.

“Yes, you can,” Mingyu said. “You’ve been holed up at this desk for like 4 days straight. I’m not even sure if you’ve slept because you haven’t come to bed.” Guilt gnawed at Wonwoo’s gut for making Mingyu worry.

After a long moment Mingyu holding him and humming softly, Wonwoo finally set his pen down with a sigh. Mingyu made a triumphant noise and squeezed him tightly, planting a firm kiss on the crown on his head.

“Only for a little while though,” Wonwoo rushed as Mingyu pulled him out of his chair. Mingyu’s reply was lost as Wonwoo’s ears rang and his vision briefly blacked out. Distantly, he felt Mingyu’s arm wrap tightly around his waist, holding him upright. 

“I just stood up too fast,” Wonwoo said weakly as his vision came back. Mingyu gave him an unimpressed look.

“Yeah,” Mingyu scoffed, “or four days without eating a proper meal is killing you.” Wonwoo chuckled at Mingyu’s dramatics, surely he wasn’t dying. As a premed student, he’d most likely know if he was dying. At least, that was the idea.

Mingyu led them into their cramped kitchen, arm still securely looped around Wonwoo like he was going to run and bury his nose back in his textbooks if Mingyu let go. Wonwoo wasn’t entirely sure how wrong he was for thinking that. 

The moment they stepped into the kitchen, Wonwoo was assaulted with a myriad of amazing aromas. If Mingyu hadn’t been holding him up, Wonwoo’s knees would have given out beneath him.

“You… cooked?” Wonwoo wasn’t sure why he posed it as a question. The food was laid out in an impressive spread covering their kitchen counters.

“All day,” Mingyu confirmed, looking at the food proudly. “I’m surprised you didn’t notice. Normally you’re out here before it’s even done.” Mingyu chuckled weakly, still staring at the spread.

“I’ve been-”

“Busy.” Mingyu sighed, defeated. “I know.” Not able to take the guilt any longer, Wonwoo turned toward Mingyu, gently cupping his cheeks between his hands. Mingyu looked so sad, and it shattered Wonwoo’s heart. Leaning forward, Wonwoo kissed Mingu sweetly, doing everything he knew how to do to make that sadness go away.

“I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you,” he murmured, lips barely a breath from Mingyu’s. “Let me make it up to you.” Wonwoo felt Mingyu’s cheeks heat up beneath his hands and wasn’t able to hold back his smile any longer. 

Giving Mingyu one last kiss, Wonwoo finally pulled away and looked at Mingyu properly. The sad look had mostly faded and was replaced with Mingyu shyly biting his lip and avoiding Wonwoo’s eyes. Wonwoo smiled at him fondly.

“It’s getting cold,” Mingyu muttered, gesturing vaguely toward the food. “We should eat.” Wonwoo laughed at Mingyu pushed him toward the table to sit and busied himself preparing two plates.

Wonwoo’s stomach cramped uncomfortably as he watched Mingyu fill the plates with food. So maybe not eating for so long wasn’t a smart idea, but he had been preoccupied. Mingyu set both plates down and slid into the chair across from him.

Taking a bite of food, Wonwoo couldn’t stop the moan that fell from his lips.

“This is so good, Gyu,” he said around another mouthful. “I love you so much.”

“You only say that when I do things for you,” Mingyu laughed.

“But it’s true,” Wonwoo said, stuffing another bite into his mouth. Mingyu again, the bright sound filling Wonwoo’s chest with warmth. 

When Wonwoo finished his plate, Mingyu made him eat another one. He updated Wonwoo on everything that had happened since Wonwoo had begun his self-induced solitary confinement. Mingyu updated him on what their friends were up to - apparently Jihoon and Soonyoung had finally gotten together and Seungkwan and Vernon had broken up again - and also how his classes were going. Wonwoo tried on to feel envious about the fact that Mingyu’s only finals were a couple of essays and a speech.

Wonwoo cleaned the kitchen after their meal, that had always been their deal when Mingyu cooked and Wonwoo already felt awful for having worried him so much. Mingyu’s words washed over Wonwoo like the warm stream from a shower. It didn’t matter what he was saying, Wonwoo just liked to listen to the sound of his voice.

“Wonwoo?” His named snapped him out of his revine, and he looked up from the soapy sink of dishes to face Mingyu’s questioning face.

“I asked you what movie you wanted to watch tonight,” Mingyu said, watching Wonwoo with amusement.

“Movie? Mingyu, I have to get back to studying.” He’s already wasted so much time. Mingyu’s face fell briefly, before settling into a look of steely resolve.

“No,” he said, voice leaving no room for argument. Wonwoo sighed and turned back to the dishes.

“Gyu-”

“No,” Mingyu said firmly, cutting him off. “You’ve studied enough for tonight. You can take a one night break, it won’t kill you.” Wonwoo placed the last dish into the drying rack and turned to face Mingyu.

“Finals are-”

“I am aware of when finals are,” Mingyu snapped, standing up and walking over to Wonwoo. “If you keep working yourself like this, you’re gonna make yourself sick, you of all people should know that.” Wonwoo frowned at him, but before he had a chance to say anything more, Mingyu continued on.

“Just one night,” he pleaded. “It’s not gonna hurt anything. You’re still going to ace your finals.” Wonwoo’s resolve crumbled at the puppy dog eyes that Mingyu gave him. 

“Just one night,” he agreed. “Then I have to study until my finals are over.” Mingyu smiled widely and Wonwoo’s heart skipped a beat. He was fairly certain that his heart stopped beating altogether when Mingyu captured his lips a tender kiss. Wonwoo melted into him, wrapping his arms loosely around Mingyu’s shoulders.

“Movie time,” Mingyu sang, pulling away and tangling their fingers together before dragging them into their living room. 

The movie that Mingyu chose was some cheesy romcom that Joshua had recommended. Wonwoo wasn’t at all interested in the movie, opting instead to lay comfortably across Mingyu’s lap. Mingyu’s fingers absently carded through his hair as he stared at the screen, completely engrossed in the movie.

Before he knew it, Wonwoo’s eyes slid shut. The gentle feeling of Mingyu’s fingers, the warmth of Mingyu beside him, the soft drone of the movie, and four days of almost no sleep was the perfect combination to have him out within the first 25 minutes of the movie.

Wonwoo woke up later to soft words being whispered in his ear. The words washed over him in uncomprehending, comforting waves. Slowly, he gained awareness of his surroundings. It was quiet, the movie must have ended. Mingyu’s forehead was pressed against his.

“-love you,” Mingyu whispered, breath tickling the hairs by Wonwoo’s ear. He felt a content smile form on his face and blindly reached up to grab Mingyu’s face, pulling him down to kiss him. It was a lazy, sleepy kiss, but it was so tender Wonwoo’s heart melted all the way down to his toes.

“Love you, too,” Wonwoo mumbled sleepily against Mingyu’s lips. Mingyu huffed a laugh, leaning back a little bit and placing a gentle kiss on Wonwoo’s nose.

“Bed time,” he said softly. Wonwoo made a noise of protest, curling up on the couch and pressing his face into Mingyu’s hipbone.

“But ‘m comfy here,” he slurred, curling his hand in Mingyu’s shirt and allowing his eyes to slide shut again. He felt Mingyu chuckle above him, carding his fingers through Wonwoo’s hair once again.

“You’ll be comfier in bed,” Mingyu said, gently coaxing Wonwoo up. “I’ll carry you.” Wonwoo hummed, allowing himself to be moved and carried back to bed. Wonwoo wrapped his arms around Mingyu and pressed his face into his neck, kissing sleepily along Mingyu’s neck and exposed shoulder.

“You’re so out of it,” Mingyu chuckled. Wonwoo wanted to protest, but he knew somewhere in his brain that he was, in fact, completely out of it. The combination of not sleeping and stress was probably making him a little bit delusional, but who could really blame him.

Mingyu gently lowered him onto the bed, sliding in right after and arranging them so he was holding Wonwoo. Wonwoo sank back into Mingyu’s warmth, allowing Mingyu’s familiar scent to surround him entirely.

“See? Isn’t this comfier?” Mingyu said softly against his neck. Wonwoo hummed, not able to string together a coherent sentence. Twisting in Mingyu’s arms, Wonwoo captured Mingyu’s lips in one last sleepy kiss. All of the stress seemed to evaporate away as Wonwoo curled into Mingyu’s familiar warmth.

[mchanv]

(DFYaH) Chapter 1: The Book

[Originally on AO3]

(A/N: Hello everyone, this is my first story here, on Tumblr, and I’m not exactly sure how everything works yet. If there are mistakes in the posting of this story, feel free to tell me or help with what you want and can. Nothing coming from the original HP series belongs to me, all those belong to JK Rowling, I only made the story.)

Summary: I’ve always wondered what Draco Malfoy’s side of the Harry Potter saga was, that’s how I came up with this idea. It is not possible at all to be canon, due to the inability of certain magical items in the story. It runs alongside the books very closely, so some dialogue or actions can come directly from them.     Draco Malfoy goes to Hogwarts for his first year. After being sorted into Slytherin and the night had fallen, a strange silvery bird gives him a message. The bird, seemingly a Phoenix, belongs to Albus Dumbledore, his Headmaster, who gives Draco a book upon his arrival in his office that same night. Draco has no idea what the book meant, but decides to go through with what Dumbledore has asked of him.

Ship: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Marcus Flint/Oliver Wood (background)

Genre: Adventure/Romance

Word count: 1, 324

—————

Finally, Hogwarts! Draco breathed in the cold air of the night as the boats drifted towards Hogwarts. 1 September 1991, Draco’s first day at Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

    His father had told him all about it, prepared him for everything. So, it didn’t surprise him at all as the ghosts came floating in, nor as the Sorting Hat began to sing. He thought it quite nice most didn’t; he felt superior to them.

    That evening, Draco was about to fall asleep after a long day as a strange silvery bird appeared next to his bed. He sat up in shock, not having seen it coming in. It seemed to be a Phoenix.

    “Come to my office tonight,” the Phoenix said in a voice Draco recognized as Albus Dumbledore’s, his Headmaster. The Phoenix vanished.

    Draco sleepily got dressed and made his way out of his dormitory into the common room. He was glad to see it deserted. Quietly, not to wake anyone, he crossed the room and left. He walked for a good five minutes until he remembered he had no idea where his Headmaster’s office was. Just as he wanted to turn around and go back to the Slytherin common room, he heard a voice coming from his right.

    “Ah, a student out of bed. I see...” Filch, the caretaker, said, “A new face... A first year Slytherin? Let’s see what Professor Snape says of this...”

    Thinking this was his only change, Draco asked, desperately trying to avoid his Head of House knowing about this: “Can’t you bring me to the Headmaster instead?”

    Filch laughed. “Not afraid of a good punishment. I see! Good then, follow me, boy!”

    Filch seemed quite happy the whole way towards his Headmaster’s office. Draco guessed he must think he would get badly punished, Draco hoped not. While walking, he tried his best to recognize the way they were going.

    They stopped at a stone statue of a gargoyle at the dead-end of a corridor. Filch gave the gargoyle the password and Draco followed him up a staircase, to come to a halt in front of a door. The caretaker knocked and an old voice sounded from behind it, the same in which the Phoenix had spoken.

    “Enter.”

    They entered and Filch said enthusiastically, “There was a student out of bed, sir! This boy here.” He pushed Draco forward.

    “Thank you, Argus, but I asked him to come here. I’m glad you brought him, you can leave now,” Dumbledore said calmly, smiling.

    Draco sighed internally, he was not getting punished. Filch had kind of the opposite reaction, though, he left the room angry, muttering under his breath something about students being out of bed.

    Dumbledore smiled down at Draco, who shifted awkwardly.

    “You wanted to see me, sir?” he started nervously.

    “Yes, indeed, Draco. Please sit down.” He gestured to the chair before his desk, as he himself sat down behind it. “So, Draco, do you have any idea why I asked you here tonight?”

    Draco shook his head.

    “I see... Either way, you’ll find out soon. Do you see this book here, Draco?” He pointed to a book with a very dark cover. He couldn’t read the title, but there was something written on it in golden ink. He nodded. “What colour is it?”

    At first, Draco thought he was joking. But looking up into those blue eyes, he knew he wasn’t.

    “Black and dark red, sir, with a golden title.”

    Dumbledore looked very pleased with the answer.

    “Is that so? That’s nice! Now, Draco, I didn’t ask you here to test if you were colorblind, if that’s what you were thinking,” he said, “I actually want to ask you for a favour.”

    He took the book and laid it in front of Draco. Draco looked down at it and sneered. The title read: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. “What is this favour, sir?” Draco wondered irritably after reading the title, looking back up at his Headmaster.

    Dumbledore smiled. “I want you to study this book,” he said calmly, as if it wasn’t a big deal, “and note every important bit of information. Do you think you can do that, Draco?”

    Draco frowned. “Can’t you do that, sir? I mean, I might not be the right person to write things down about Potter.” He sneered again at the mention of the name.

    “Already got a past, I see. That makes it even better! And believe me Draco when I say I’ve already got a lot of things to do as a Headmaster.”

    “But... Why me? I don’t understand, sir...” He looked down at the book again, thinking, trying his best to understand.

    “You won’t,” Dumbledore said calmly, Draco looked back up. “Not yet, at least. But you’re the best person for this job. Trust me.”

    He gave Draco a reassuring smile. Draco sighed. “Okay then, I’ll try...”

    “Great!” Dumbledore beamed. “Here, take these for your notes.”

    Draco looked down at the four items Dumbledore had just handed him. One of them seemed to be a book; except without words, and only blank lines. The second thing was long and pointy, he took it and rolled it between his thumb and index; it seemed to be made of wood. The third was a strange rectangular object, it felt rubbery under his touch. The last was again rectangular, only with a round hole in one side, the size of the long, quill -like thing, in which was put a small, sharp blade. “What are these, sir?” he asked his Headmaster.

    “Those are a notebook, a pencil, an eraser and a sharpener,” he explained, pointing from one thing to another. “Muggles use the pencil to take erasable notes in a notebook.”

    “Do I have to write with this, in that?” Draco wondered grudgingly, pointing from the pencil in his hand to the notebook.

    “If you don’t mind.”

    “All right, then. Can I go now?”

    “One more thing, Draco, can you open the book and see where it stops?” Dumbledore asked.

    Draco nodded and opened the book. He skipped through it until the sentences suddenly stopped and the pages turned out white and empty. “Page 141, sir, Chapter 8.”

    “Do you think that is the end of the chapter?”

    Draco shook his head. “Only the start, the second page of it.”

    Dumbledore nodded. “Then I would like it if you’d manage to get to the end of chapter 7 before your first Potions lesson. When is that?”

    “I don’t know, sir, I don’t have my timetable yet.”

    “That’s right, my apologies. Then, can you come back here tomorrow, at 10 o’clock?” Dumbledore asked. Draco nodded. “All right, then! You may leave. And don’t forget to study the book. Goodnight Draco.”

    “‘Night, sir.” Draco stood up and walked to the door.

    “Oh, and the password is ‘Chocolate Frog’!” Dumbledore called after him before he closed the door.

    Draco walked soundlessly through the corridors of the castle, tracking back the way he went. His mind was racing wildly, and thoughts like ‘Why am I the best for this?’ and ‘Is he just playing with me?’ kept returning, over and over again. Finally, he stood in front of the wall that held the secret entrance to the Slytherin dormitory. He whispered the password, and the hidden door in the wall opened, allowing him to enter.

    He walked to his dormitory and laid down on his bed; the book held close to his chest while the other things laid dumped on his bedside table. He took the book off his chest and looked at it; it was too dark to read it so he put it away. He sighed and rolled over, and, too tired to get changed, fell asleep in his robes.

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(Text Copyright © 2020 MChanV)