#and yeah this is because of my ongoing
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what do i have to do to get more aeron greyjoy-centric fanfiction? i'm not a writer, if i was, i'd do it myself.
a fic about his younger days, when he was still the funny uncle theon remembers.
one in which somehow maybe he goes with theon when he takes winterfell, and ends up travelling with bran for a while? don't know how it would work out, as i said, i'm not a writer.
something post-canon in which he has a chance at living normally, as a counselor to his favorite niece, maybe. some quality time with his nephew, too. i know there are already a few of those out there, i've read them, but i need more.
don't pay attention to me i'm just suffering the consequences of my actions (liking minor characters in big fandoms)
#please someone write something... i'll give you my firstborn#can't get this man out of my head he's the best#honestly i'd also like to see more euron fanfiction that's not just dark and traumatic#these people all had lives before they all went crazy#and yeah this is because of my ongoing#asoiaf reread#sigh
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A tragedy befell my project yesterday so naturally I made memes about it
#flight rising#flight rising memes#if the rng for the whole project hadn't been so rancid i couldve had my new pair ready for Halloween#and theyd be orange and purple and so perfect colours for it#so it's a true tragedy#like is there still a chance that the two ongoing nests could miraculously produce my two project targets despite the odds?#sure there is#but is it LIKELY?#Bro it is not#i think the chances are about hmm. 2.5% yeah#maybe slightly higher because the second nest has two eggs#but the odds aren't good boys
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Horror's nightmare
Horror doesn't think much on his past anymore, but his nightmares often resurface the guilt he's buried about the idea that he could have prevented it all somehow, even if it came at the cost of his own life.
Thankfully, Nightmare is here to make him a hot drink to calm his nerves and promise him a visit to his brother when the sun is up, because Papyrus will always be very glad to see his brother alive and visiting (and as sleepy as ever).
#UTDR#UTMV#Horror Sans#Nightmare Sans#My Art#Truce au#Bad dreams comic#Just when you thought you were safe from my 50 ongoing art projects I remember to finish another one >:3c#I had a lot of fun with this one! Despite how kind of grim it is#It gave me a chance to play with different brushes and work with colours and such which is cool :D#Anyway yeah Horror likes to think he's at peace with his past#Especially considering who he lives with - he's probably the least haunted of the 4#But there is always a nagging thought in the back of his mind that he is in some way responsible#If not for breaking the core and more or less killing the scientist trying to fix it#(Even though it was at least partly justified since they tried to kill him first)#Then for letting the human go by with lvl in the first place knowing that they would end up killing Asgore in the end#Even if he couldn't have possibly known how bad things would get as a result#Also!! In case you're wondering Monster Kid and the dog are in the start because it's a dream#In his mind he always remembers horrortale before it started falling apart and losing people#And now... (turns my terrible little eyes upon Cross)
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Just wanted to say I'm really happy that you have shared so much about your characters! I've been following you for a long while now, and I think I remember your post expressing worry about talking about your characters. After seeing all the love shown to them, it makes me happy that you decided to!
Aaa thank you for your kind words! ;-;
[22.7. Editing these here]
#you remember right yeah#years ago somewhere along the road I got really skittish and self-conscious about talking about my characters#I would draw them but I was really uncomfortable sharing any of their .... lore or backgrounds or such#the floodgates sort of collapsed late spring or early summer last year#I still get these pangs of embarrassement and hesitation and think “oh god this is humiliating this isn't relevant or useful”#“I don't know why I'm telling you this”#so it really truly boosts my confidence when people show interest in hearing about my dogs#and ask questions and give feedback#it means so much to me#answered#anonymous#it's an ongoing struggle because of course I want to talk about this stuff I think about them every day#but I'm also paranoid about coming across annoying and self-centered#you know?
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us all, starting yet another one sherlock adaptation and telling ourselves it’s hope and not delusion to expect johnlock to happen maybe this time:
#sherlock & co#so yeah anyway when are we going for a group therapy to treat our delusional brains?#for the sake of our sanity I will hope nevertheless that this time we’ll be rewarded for our patience#with a fantabulous john and sherlock getting together#they’ll kiss and then I’ll want to kiss the podcast creators on the lips out of my eternal gratitude#one day I’m gonna lose my mind if yet another show dares to queerbait me in the fucking 21st century#don’t get me wrong this is not me hating sherlock and co because it’s doing great and I love it#it’s just me with a festering wound and ongoing trauma after lokius or rather the lack of it#john watson#sherlock#sherlock holmes#goalhanger#goalhanger podcasts#johnlock#sherlock and co
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Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:
Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic
[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]
Flashbacks
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]
Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]
Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]
Extreme alertness/hypervigilance
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]
Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]
Feeling like you have to keep busy
[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]
Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive
[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]
Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]
Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(
[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]
Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard
[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]
Blaming yourself for what happened
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]
Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame
#all this wasn't going to fit into my gon analysis but i still wanted to cover it#when i say he was genuinely traumatized i. actually seriously mean that.#note that this does NOT mean he had ptsd!!! ptsd should only be diagnosed if symptoms continue for several weeks to a month#after being removed from the traumatic situation#given that the trauma was ongoing this does not count! we could only say he has ptsd if somehow these symptoms persist when#he's back on whale island after the fact. but honestly i doubt they would#however. in caa? yeah 100% he was very traumatized by kite's death#hence all the trauma symptoms i listed above. poor little guy :(#storyrambles#hxh#gon freecss#this post hurt me to make btw. ow. ow.#i also. cruel as it is i genuinely like that gon's trauma fueled breakdown was. not palatable. like he is genuinely really scary there#and it's REALLY hard to watch and listen to#i really get why killua felt so helpless there.#like. your best friend is incredibly fucking volatile and very obviously wants to and is intending to run himself into the ground#because he feels he deserves it#what the hell is the other thirteen year old supposed to do here. :(
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Au idea I'll probably never write:
Steve as seven au, BUT he escapes at the same time as El in season 1. They get separated after Benny's, when seven tells eleven to run and definitely kills a couple government agents to give her more time.
So the a plot of will being missing and Mike finding El? Standard canon except El is ALSO looking for her brother and is worried about him. She sees that he's mostly safe and tries to help find will but also insists she go to her brother soon.
B plot of barb and Nancy...idk I haven't really thought about how that'd work without Steve's kickback. Maybe they go to a party (like actual party not the five person hangout) together and get separated and no one notices barb disappear from the edge of the lawn. Idk
The C plot is seven, kinda bloody and definitely cold, wandering out into the middle of the street, and one Robin Buckley almost running him over with her bike. She immediately clocks "guy who seems pretty fucked up" about him, and offers him a ride to her house. But Robin has never been the most coordinated of people and biking with a(admittedly probably too skinny) teenage boy sitting in her package rack is hard, and combine that with a guy driving like the devil's after him, they end up swerving of the road.
Eddie steps out, apologizes profusely, and offers them a ride. seven is sceptical, especially when both of them pause when he tells them his name, but does end up in the van. He finally gets a chance to breathe once they get to the Buckleys', and Robin gets him some leftovers.
He sits in front of the tv set to a blank station, tucks his head into his shirt instead of blindfolds, and tries to see El.
He sees her older, with flowers braided through long hair, laughing. Too far. He sees her with short curls, a patterned button down, eating something in a cone beside a mustachioed man. Too far again. He sees her tiny, scared, holding his own small hand. Not far enough.
Finally, finally, he sees her as she knows her now, mostly, standing beside a group of children and in front of a monster in a large room.
Eddie and Robin have no idea why their new friend? Has turned the tv on to static and is hiding in his shirt, but figure he's had a rough day. He pops his head back out, blood dripping from his nose, and grins, telling them he knows where his sister will be.
Anyways blah blah blah El sees where people ARE Steve sees where people have been/will be (based on where/who they are right now. Futura is constantly in motion etc).
Idk season 2 would happen very similar as canon minus stancy break up (they never date and are just friends) (also Steve tells Robin and Eddie he and El are safe and they pass it on to the kids) El finds Kali, Steve fights demodogs, etc etc.
But I want a (pre?) season 3 scene where Robin and Steve are hanging out as soulmates do, door closed because they are discussing Sensitive Subjects (gay shit) and giggling like schoolgirls. Hopper, in all his disappointed dad glory, opens the door and starts in on a rant about keeping the door open three inches.
Steve, bitch that he is, just tilts his head to the side and says "but that is for when we are with people we date. I am not dating Robin."
Hopper, not yet picking up what's happening, sighs. "Kid. It's about propriety. You can't be alone with Robin, because what if you do start dating. Then it's. You have to set an example for El!"(it would be a nice move bringing up Older Brother Responsibility, except...well.)
"but we aren't. I am dating someone else?"
"still need the door open three inches, pal. When El is home, at least"(El is almost always home)
"we do! And you complain about the loud music!"
"wait. Who are you dating? I thought Nancy was dating Jonathan still. She barely comes over." Hopper please pick up what Steve is putting down oh my god.
(hop has forgotten Robin is there and she is trying very hard not to make noise but Steve keeps meeting her eye sometimes because dear god. truly an iconic moment in friendship history.)
"yeah obviously. Eddie comes over all the time, though."
"what does Ed- oooh. Ah. I see. That's why you keep the door open even though he complains."
Steve nods like Hopper is the dumbest man on the planet. He might just be. "Yes. Because you said El had to and she asked why I didn't have to so then I started to leave it open when Eddie was over. At least Eddie doesn't laugh at you to your face"
"Eddie laughs behind my back?"
"he said you didn't know we were dating but I told him of course you knew, the door is open three inches."
Hopper clasps Steve's shoulders and looks him in the eye. "Steve, I need you to keep telling him that. And not mention this very awkward conversation we had."
"because he was right."
"he doesn't need to know that."
That's all I got lmao (also check the tag ramble I added lol)
#steve Harrington#robin buckley#eddie munson#el hopper#platonic stobin#steddie#steve and el#steve and hopper#steve is seven#finda writes stuff#hopper versus his childrens' boyfriends and his ongoing mission to have SOME authority over them#but anyway i love steve is seven aus but only really see ones where he escapes before el so thought this would be nest#*neat. also i love hopper adopting steve fics hehe#hop goes to joyce after this and is like. okay so he didnt tell me but thats because he thought i knew am i a bad dad#'hop. what are you talking about' 'steve and eddie are dating' 'yeah. what about it' 'i didnt know'#'theyre all over each other' 'so are him and robin! i thought they were just affectionate!' 'oh my god' 'no one else can ever know joyce'#'eddie sleeps over all the time' 'robin does too' 'the nicknames' 'robin calls steve babe' 'the whispering?'#'once AGAIN he and robin ALSO do that. how was i supposed to know he was dating eddie when he and his best friend also do that stuff?!'#'okay. thats fair jim. but what about the kissing' 'joyce.look into my eyes. he also. kisses. robin.' 'are all three of them dating?' 'no'#'huh. on the lips?' 'sometimes. its a playful smack.' 'and eddie?' 'okay admittedly. now that i think about it. very different than Robin
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haha oh no im definitely not at all disturbed by the prevalence of leftists on all platforms who are loudly 'anti-genocide' when it comes to the palestinian cause (and a couple others at best :3c) yet the only time ukraine [ʊkrɐˈjinɐ] leaves their mouths is in critique, in stark comparison to the former or in complaint about their (american) government sending aid.
at first what i saw often was pointing out the differences in western media framing [ukraine vs palestine], and that's fair (until the words and the agenda of western journalists are used to paint, as a whole, ukrainians who have been actively going through genocide as some kind of white supremacists hogging the blanket of global attention when they kinda just want to live and have the rights to their own land, culture, names and families)
but no one is even caring to do that anymore, today bitches just invent metaphorical scenarios and people to get mad at and to throw an entire ethnos away because wahhhh i decided that you care for X but not for Y!!!.... all while doing the exact thing they are condemning. the exact absolute same and they don't even hide it but do lack the self-awareness to realise
#'ohh i saw white people still go out to rally for ukraine' yeah have you considered they are ukrainian or have ukrainian loved ones or uh#simply have humanity in their heart to care about several humanitarian tragedies in the world?#this is both aimed at a post i saw on here and at SEVERAL. MANY. twitterians with a thousand palestine flags all over their accounts spewing#misinformation hate and sometimes straight up russian propaganda tactics because they're this fucking insane#i don't care about sounding nice anymore by the way. i know my heart lies in the right place and i have the capacity to care about more than#one ongoing genocide of indigenous peoples#removed incidents of bad actors having a ukrainian flag on their backpack doing hateful shit does not somehow okay dismissing a genocide you#so vehemently claim to oppose. they are not ukrainians who are getting bombed on the daily for years#i saw a very lovely 🍉🕊️ lady denying holodomor and using literal russian talking points while patting herself on the back for being such#a good person. i saw one of the most popular leftie accs on twitter be actively anti-ukraine and using slurs. luckily we mass reported them#and they're gone#i'm no longer being careful with my words because i don't want to be misconstrued. i know my values go beyond twitter and tumblr#if i catch you in any way undermining the genocide of ukrainians or only bringing it up to point fingers and bitch i am blocking you forever#don't care how far this post might go cuz of ppls questionable use of the search function. and i didn't care to censor anything#like. masks off. just block me if this is your rhetoric
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I think the readers overall were not keen on that final chapter but that's okay it was my first go at the 'epilogue with a baby' structure and I may have made it overly twee or something (or maybe even not twee enough, idk) and so I shall not do it next time I write a multichapter (assuming there is a next time which is something I argue with myself about because Oh So Conflicted). But either way I don't need to write any more of that fic as it is done now. Hurrah!
#on one hand people seem overall more willing to comment on an ongoing work BUT#on the other if a oneshot utterly sinks you don't need to write more of it after that it's just done and you've already moved on.#the continual fear of 'what if they hate this chapter?' was not very fun nor was feeling like i owed people regular updates#which kind of felt like i'd given myself homework and well there's a reason i dropped out of that languages course a few years back.#(the reason was Deadlines and Stress and I should probably do my best not to impose those things on myself in a hobby.)#Make Self Write The Entire Thing Before Posting (more of) It seemed to help but then you have to sit on finished chapters which felt weird?#just because i'm not used to doing that and have no patience generally so i failed to stick to any sort of posting schedule.#i kind of like having a longer thing ongoing while writing oneshots as well but yeah probably i should retire from posting unfinished works#so i learned something from all of this and from doing the same thing last year!#felt insecure might delete later
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Bleh like 5 hours ago I texted the guy from last night just to say I had fun and to suggest an idea for date 2 because he'd asked me for suggestions. So far, left on read with no response and trying not to assume the worst
#dating nonsense#realistically he's probably just busy and will respond when he has time#is what i tell the part of my brain screaming 'you did something wrong and scared him away!!!! you couldn't even do this right!!'#but also yeah worried I read the situation wrong somehow#and it's not like we fucked or anything but it was a nice night out#maybe I came on too strong#which would be stupid because how is that possible when both parties are admittedly just looking for sex#sex with someone nice in a possibly ongoing manner but still just sex and not a relationship at the end of the day
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We interrupt your normal scheduling to announce that I am a Minor™ no longer.
I'll go get the emotionally charged smut wips ready.
#or maybe i wont#because i have like two ongoing wips right now#but yeah its my birthday#we dont really do sweet 16s here so 18 is supposed to be the most important#wow#i feel so old (not really who gaf)#quill screeches
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How long do you think it took for Ganondorf to be captured and set to be executed after Link snitched on him, because he looks a LOT older than he was in OoT by the time of his execution in TP.
Did he just run to the desert to gather his forces before all of that or what?
Hey, thanks for the ask!!
So I have.... pretty extensive headcanons about that, but yeah basically I think he did manage to run away from Hyrule Castle, retreat in the Desert, and then waged war for a couple of years before being captured, tried and executed.
It's my HC at least, because first of all it would support the whole "him on his horse while surrounded by fire" thing the Sages introduce in TP, and it would also make the hylians less monstrous? I mean, I'm not putting it past them to take the word of a 10 year old and execute a man for crimes he has yet to commit (mostly, not forgetting about the Deku Tree, Jabu Jabu and the gorons), but I think the whole process of his death looking so ritualized seems to me like he proved himself a big enough threat that they needed to get drastic in his murder as well.
I think it's always hard to take his appearance as a cue for his age, because it's sooo open to interpretation that it's hard to say for sure. There are people who think his young model looks like he's 20, others think he's 40, and then Ganon in WW is hundreds of years old, and in TP he is basically a ghost-man?? He changes so much that I think it's hard to use anything as a baseline. But yeah, at least the hair grew back! That's something! So I would assume he ran around for at least a couple of years before the execution (and if he looks older than OoT even 7 years later than his first appearance, this version doesn't have the Triforce and, I would argue, have faced much more strife, war and trauma than his OoT counterpart. The skin care routine may have suffered as a result u_u)
#asks#ganondorf#oot#twilight princess#tp#thanks for the ask!!#yeah I have a whole entire story in my head about what happened exactly.....#it involves... a lot of mistakes#on everyone's part#and an ongoing existential crisis about learning that you managed to do the impossible?? so it's possible to do??#but also at the same time you never got a chance?#because the gods slammed the door on your face so hard this version of you couldn't even get started?#also a demon pig???? for real??????#am I chosen by fate am I capable am I a fool can I do it OH WELL I have no choice anymore anyway so let's fucking find out!!!!!
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When I wake up tomorrow morning, I want an email and notification I sold Of Bugs and Birdsong and one quilt commission slot. Just one of those will cover the cost of a new mattress. If I achieve both, I can pay of Jasper's (RIP) Care Credit vet bill ($1238 and collecting interest).
We also have three medical bills from Bubby's emergency surgery in February. Three others were forgiven, but we still have $4614 with what's left.
If I sell all three quilt commission slots, Of Bugs and Birdsong, and all the other quilts in my shop, at asking price, I'll be able to cover the mattress, the vet bill, and two of the three medical bills.
It's gonna take some serious help though. Namely folks buying my work. I have plenty available, and will be back in my sewinh room making more on Wednesday.
Pics below the read more.
Of Bugs and Birdsong:
Quilts on the commission page:
Some listings in my shop:
#chaosfay talks#handmade#quilt#sewing#quiltblr#my art#i'm Disabled and my husband is the onky one who can work. i'm on SSDI and the only way i can make any money is selling my work#right now we're financially fucked. we're also unable to sleep in the same bed because the mattress is so terrible. he's sleeping on the#sofa while i deal with my own back issues on the mattress. sleeping alone is also dangerous for me because of SUDEP#my really bad seizures occur between the first and second stage of sleep. when i seize? he wakes up and helps keep me safe.#except now he can't and hasn't since January. because the mattress is that bad. so yeah. this is an ongoing emergency.#and now it's getting cold and bubby's mancave (and also where he sleeps) gets cold af. he runs the space heater all night and the utility#bill goes up a whole $100!!! i have a GFM set up and pinned on my profile. i would just rather sell my work. i can then make more space for#the many new things i'm gonna create. selling things also helps me feel like less of a burden and more like i'm contributing
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Trans Spock but he doesn’t figure it out till he meets Kirk who’s like “Hello, Mr. Spock” and Spock’s just internally like “oh. that fits.” and then he never looked back
#normalize figuring shit out later in life#because yeah my gender crisis is still ongoing I’m probably not gonna have a firm answer till my 40s#genderfluid seems.. correct tho?#yeah genderfluid#maybe#s’chn t’gai spock#jim t kirk#james tiberius kirk#jim kirk#Star Trek
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just got a biopsy to see if my [checks notes] 15-week period is because of cancer. however then my friends drove me to get chocolate and the new martha wells novel so, you know, there are pros and cons here.
#the epic highs and lows of having a uterus#highs: people buy you chocolate!!#lows: all the other stuff :(#anyway i am. a lil stressed out lol#also pretty lightheaded! i'm not really even sure why because ok so yeah i was already anemic from the 15 weeks of bleeding#plus i was anemic before that also#plus there was a lot of blood during the biopsy. but i feel like that blood was just the stuff in my uterus that'd be coming out anyway#as opposed to new blood from within my veins or something#and i'm still sick lolllll#so it's a fun time. BUT! martha wells novel! and i lent all systems red to a friend who will hopefully become obsessed with murderbot#and talk to me about it constantly! (<-my endgame at all times)#it's so funny every time i've been to the doctor they're like 'date of your last period?' and i'm like april 9th. and it is ongoing.#and then we just 😬 at each other#anyway cross your fingers for me. apparently if the biopsy comes back negative they don't have other ideas for what could be going on#not sure how to feel about that. obviously i don't want to have cancer but it's very stressful not knowing what is going on#do i just bleed forever indefinitely??? i'll be real with you lads that doesn't seem great :/#she was like next step would be to put in a hormonal iud and i was like that is absolutely not an option that i will consider#i would sooner get a hysterectomy#so idk maybe i will get a hysterectomy! biopsy results in a week. okay. ending the tags now#if anybody wants me to trigger tag for cancer mentions let me know and i can definitely do that going forward <3
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MUWAHAHAHAHA YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD!
For every antisemitic, aggressive, and rude anon I get for being Jewish and not wanting politics on my Palia sideblog I add another person to my block list!
#yeah lol i ain't saying my stance to you if you care so much find my main#“i'm jewish to” i doubt that because if you are you are incredibly antisemitic to fellow Jews#no one owes you their political stances on tumblr or anywhere#especially not some random ass Jew who wants ONE place free if ongoing politics#but yeah lol really if you care about my feelings find my main blog and look it up#of btw i have no qualms blocking ANYONE for any reason even if we spoke before 🧡 i just Do Not Care about the people in my phone enough k?#“i don't want politics here” = whatever side you want to asign me to now? that's so funny you people are funny#imma show everyone at work this is rich
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