#and worrying wont do us any good but we still worry if only because there's little else to do

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[mantisgodsdomain]

Got new news from an old fandom today. We... remembered just why we left. Might've given a bit of insight into our current modes of writing, too. It's still a shitshow over there, but it's shone a light on things.

What we like in fiction is... nuance. Cohesion. When the pieces fit together, when we can dig deeper and find a bigger picture, when it's art that we can look at from a multitude of angles and gain new insight from that. We try and work at ever-so-slightly new takes on characters, but we still have to put the work in to avoid drifting, to avoid flanderization, to avoid losing the plot.

And we aren't sure we could do that with a live, multi-chapter work. And we're even less certain we could handle it with the potential of having to readjust course partway through a fic. We are not a fast author, for the most part. We sit and we plot and we plan, and it takes a lot of revisions to hit the final draft. We could not uphold a solid schedule unless everything was already written.

We want to avoid our art running into the pitfalls we've already seen in action, and so we try and work to make things that won't fall into those pitfalls.

[sturn-saturn]

hey baby girl

pairing: fem!pregnant!reader x husband!chris

warnings: just cutesy stuff <3

a/n: i thought of doing this while watching shameless 😁

week 20: "hey, baby girl!" chris says as he holds up a camcorder. "so today, mama and i went to the baby doctor and we found out you're a girl!" your husband turns the camera to you and your hand is placed on your baby bump rubbing it up and down while the other is holding up your ultrasound pictures.

"we're so excited to meet you baby girl!" you smile kissing the camera goodbye.

week 21: "hey, baby girl!" you say holding the camera. chris is upstairs in your shared bedroom still sleeping. "as you can see, mama just woke up, i'm very tired but dad i have some errands to run so we can prepare for you to join us in 19 weeks. so the plan for today is to visit your grandparents, dads parents, then we're going out to target to look at some onesies for you and little socks to keep your tiny toes warm, after is the grocery store. i'll be sure to get some yummy stuff so i can keep you and i fed! alright baby girl, catch you later!" you say kissing the camera once again.

week 22: you and chris were on the couch watching coraline since it was your favorite comfort movie.

"hey baby girl!" chris says holding the camera up to face you both has his other hand is rubbing your belly gently.

"so right now dad and i are watching my favorite comfort movie because i wasn't feeling well today."

"her tummy was cramping but don't worry, it wasn't your fault. you're our baby girl, you could do no wrong." your husband says with a big grin.

"i'm hoping when you're older you enjoy this movie as much as i do. your dad and i actually watched this on our 5th date i believe." you smile.

"alright sweetheart, mamas gotta get her rest, see you tomorrow!" your husband says kissing the camera.

week 23: "hey baby girl! alright so we are in the car right now and todays plan is going to the doctor to make sure you're healthy and see how much you've grown. after that we need to find a bassinet for you to get a good nights sleep!" chris smiles at how cute he finds you.

"there are so any people who can't wait to meet you sweetheart. 4 grandparents, a bunch of aunts and uncles, our friends too!" he adds.

"you're so loved already, honey. okay we're here! time to go!" you kiss the camera.

week 24: "hey baby girl so today, uncle nick and uncle matt dropped by and got you some presents. they got you the cutest onesies, some baby bottles, and toys! we know you wont be able to play with toys until you grow a bit and get used to the new world but you are going to love them! also dad has something to say." you hand the camera to chris and get up to get a snack.

you over hear your husband talking to the camera and your eyes soften looking over at him.

"mama and i are gonna do everything we can to protect you. we will support you in anything you want to do. the only things we want from you is to be a good person and spread love. also you have to play lacrosse or hockey like me and your uncles did!" he laughs.

"chris what if she doesn't wanna play either of those?" you ask.

"well what every she decides to play she's gonna be amazing. she's half of you anyway. bye darling!" he yells kissing the camera.

week 25: "hey baby girl! we're currently at grandma and grandpas house for a little cook out with the family." you say showing everyone around.

"are you guys making a little vlog for the baby?" jimmy asks.

"we are!"

"mind if i say a few words?"

"not at all!" you hand the camera to jimmy and you use this time to rest your arms a bit.

"alright sweetheart. as you know, i'm your grandfather, your dads dad. i just wanted to let you know that i can't wait to meet you. you're my first grandkid! as much as i love my boys, i've always wanted a girl in the family and you're finally making that dream happen. i will definitely be taking you on fishing trips so get ready!"

jimmy hands you the camera with a big smile on his face. "you're gonna be a great mother, honey."

tears start to well in your eyes from the love you've received from your husbands family throughout the years. you thank jimmy and you kiss the camera goodbye.

week 40: "hey baby girl!" chris whispers. "today is a big day. mama felt some extra kicks last night and it turns out you're coming today! she's currently resting right now so she can use all her energy and strength to bring you here. keep this between us, but your moms a superhero." he smiles.

"chris?" you mumble. "come here."

chris comes over with the camcorder in his hand with a look of concern on his face. "what's up mama?"

you reach your hand for the camera and he hands it to you.

"hey sweet girl. i'm sure dads told you we're at the hospital right now waiting for you to come. it's currently 10pm and we're all super tired but this is all worth it if it means we get to finally meet you." you smile lazily.

4 hours later...

the doctors all finally left the room. they said that was the easiest delivery they've had to work through. chris is currently standing with your baby girl in his arms facing the window to see the city lights.

"hey clara." chris whispers rocking his daughter back and forth gently. "mamas resting again. the doctors told her she did a great job! i told you your mom was a superhero. in just 3 days you'll get to come home with us. how exciting is that!? grandma and grandpa are coming tomorrow to see you as well as your uncles. i love you baby girl. goodnight." chris kisses his daughters head before setting her back in her bassinet.

he relishes in the feeling of being a new dad before he drifts off into a good nights sleep.

taglist:

@sturniolos4life16 @hoeforchrizz @luckyscharms @emely9274 @chrispotatos @weirdratperson @simpson12 @ilovemenwithlonghairr @angeldvstee @pussypie456 @valentinasturniolo @chrissturnioloenthusiastforlife @cravingchrissturniolo @wonnieeluvvr @flouvela

[soulidarity]

beach date

rafayel x mc

mc is self conscious about wearing a bathing suit, which leads to her not wanting to go swimming with rafayel

fluff and comfort

it was odd, the amount of excuses that he had heard from her mouth about the same subject

"its a bit too cold"

"i did my hair today"

"i dont have more clothing"

the first few times, he thought nothing of it. sure it was strange that he knew it wasnt a hair wash day but maybe she had strayed off from her routine.

after the 15th time, something was up.

"are you afraid of me?"

she looked at him, bewildered.

"what does that have to do with anything?"

"are you afraid that being in the water with me might trigger something? i swear the boat thing was just because of where we were, that wont happen again"

"it has nothing to do with that-"

"then are you afraid of the ocean? cutie you should know better than to doubt my ability to protect you. i am the god of the sea after all, no harm will-"

"rafayel its seriously not about any of that, im not afraid of that"

"then what is it?" he cut her off, his tone a bit more serious than what he intended. "i mean, i dont understand how you dont just want to dive in. not only is the ocean beautiful, but its crazy hot outside-"

"its because i hate wearing bathing suits!"

rafayel looked at her, confused.

that... that was it? seriously? he didnt see the issue at all

"is it cause... of the texture...? or are you worried about the sun?"

"i just... dont like how i look in them. thats it, can we drop it? im really sorry rafayel..."

he paused before smiling at her warmly, "sure. what are you wearing tonight for the exhibition?"

a few weeks passed, the subject never really leaving their minds but neither one commented on it. rafayel would regularly head down to the beach to go swimming, while shed stay back and work on reports.

it was one of those times when rafayel noticed someone entering the beach, he got closer to the shore to see who.

there she was, sunglasses, sunhat and one of his big shirts she had stolen. shyly, she set her stuff down on a blanket on the sand, sitting down next to them as she waved at him.

he quickly ran towards her, a bit clumsily because water and sand arent the best enviorment to run in, with a big smile on his face.

"cutie! you came!"

she handed him a towel, which he refused

"im gonna go back in, so dont worry. are you... coming in?" he asked as if he was dealing with a scared animal that could runaway at any moment.

"ill think about it, let me get used to this little by little, is that okay?" she looked up at him, his smile bigger than ever

"its great" he kissed her forehead "take your time, thank you for trying. it means a lot. im gonna go back in, if you need me just yell"

about half an hour had gone by, the lemurian still in the water.

"fuck it, rafayel! could you look the other way, im gonna go in!"

he quickly nodded, standing up from his swimming position and facing the horizon. what a beautiful sunset.

he heard the water moving closer

"can i turn now?"

"no. dont. can you walk backwards a bit closer? i dont think i can reach the bottom so deep in"

"of course"

as he did so, he felt two arms wrapping around his waist, quickly followed by a chest being pushed against his back, her chin resting on his shoulder.

"hi..."

"hi cutie, wanna go in deeper?"

"no, im not that good of a swimmer"

"does the water cover your chest?

"you know im not that small, its a bit above my waist"

"how about we go a bit deeper, you tell me when it reaches your shoulders. that way the water will cover you, i can turn around and if a big wave comes ill help you out. sound good?"

"i guess?"

the couple walked together towards the sunset in an incredibly uncomfortable matter due to their position, until eventually she told him to stop. after a brief pause, he turned around.

"hello cutie"

"we already said hi"

"i know, just wanted to be polite to the prettiest sight"

"the sunset is way prettier, you should look at that"

"hm nope! youre prettier"

"you arent even seeing it"

"dont need to, those pink skies could never compete with you cutie" she rolled her eyes at his comment

"thank you for being patient with me"

"thank you for trying"

[ribread03]

Our Song II

M.stuniolo

What happens when Y/N cant afford to fly out to LA… Y/N and Matt text for the first time…

THIS IS MY WORK AND MY IDEA! PLEASE DONT USE THIS AS “INSPIRATION” OR TAKE IT WITHOUT GETTING MY PERMISSION FIRST! thank you :)

This is part two of our song! Find the mood board and part one through my master list!

Y/N POV

You and Nick have been texting back and forth for a few days at this point and your excitement for the collab has grown even more, if that is possible. You’ve been looking at hotels and plane tickets, trying to see how they would fit into your budget. You can't seem to find any plane tickets that are less than $250, so you decide to text Nick to see if they could collab next time they are back in Boston, that being a cheaper flight from Jersey.

“I can't find a cheap flight to fit into my budget, do you think we could collab next time the three of you are in Boston? It would be a cheaper flight for me to book…” You send Nick the text with a small sigh, not sure when the next time they will be home or if they will even want to collab with you when they are.

Your phone is quick to ping again, it was Nick texting you back, “girl don’t worry about anything! We’ll cover it for you, we wanted you to come out to LA so we don’t expect you to cover everything… We will book you a nice hotel near our house and get you a good plane ticket!” You read Nick's text with a large smile, they really didn’t have to do any of that, but it was nice that they are. Them paying to fly you out would help you out, leaving you with extra money to spend while in LA.

You're quick to shoot a text back to him, saying everything along the lines of “thank you so much” and “I really appreciate that” and “it means so much to me!” Because it really did, they didn’t know and probably wont ever know how much this means so you, you saying thank you will never be enough.

Matts POV

“She’s saying she can't afford a flight and hotel out here…” Nick says as he reads the text out loud, to Matt and Chris, that you sent him. Matt looks between his two brothers before an idea pops into his head.

”Tell her we will cover it,” Matt is quick to say. “Just take it out of my account, I was the one who wanted to collab with her in the first place.” He explains to his brothers before they can even say anything.

“Okay,” Nick says, slightly suspicious of his one brothers need to have you here. Nick was quick to catch onto Matt’s fond interest with you, seemingly always catching him looking at your new insta post or scrolling through your TikTok or watching an edit of you on there. Nick often hears your voice coming from Matt’s room, assuming Matt is watching one of your YouTube videos-one that he’s probably seen nine times already but still watches it because it is his favorite video of you.

After a beat of silence Matt speaks up again, “I just think it would be nice, since we are the ones who want to collab and have her come out here.” explaining his idea more, even though neither Nick nor Chris asked anything about why he was wanting to pay. “Could you do me a favor though, and not tell her I’m the only one paying for it?” Matt asks Nick with a shy smile.

Matt didn’t want you to know he was the sole reason they wanted to collab with you, being slightly embarrassed about how excited he is to meet you for the first time. He also didn’t want you to know he was paying for your whole trip, not wanting you to feel bad for only him spending so much money on you.

“Do you think you could give me her number? So then I can let her know what the car looks like and what number to expect when we go to pick her up,” Nick is quick to give Matt a small nod and even smaller smirk, knowing the exact reason he is asking for your number, but Nick didn’t wanna ruin Matt’s fun so he sent him your number.

Three days later…

Your phone pings with a random number but the message doesn’t concern you, it actually makes your stomach twist in excitement. The text reads, “Hey Y/N, it’s Matt Sturniolo. Nick gave me your number so then I can text you when we come to pick you up from the airport, or so we can just talk and get to know each other a little better before you fly here”

“Matthew Sturniolo wants to get to know me!” You say quietly to yourself, your heart pounding as you read the text over and over again. You’ve always liked Matt the most, thinking he was the best looking, the one you related to the most out of the three of them, and overall someone you genuinely wanted to meet and see what they are like in person.

With a big grin and shaking fingers you text him back, “Hi Matt, I would love to get to know you some more before flying out. Thanks for texting me, and know that I’m always open to talk and all!” You hit send on the text and send your phone flying across your bed with a small squeal. A few small giggles leave your lips as you think about what just happened. The Matthew Sturniolo just text you, wanting to get to know you.

But what you didn’t know is that your text did the same thing to him. Making his stomach twirl in excitement as he read over your words. The same small giggles leaving his lips as he blushes and smiles at the words, “I would love to get to know you…” on his screen.

AN: i hoped you enjoyed this part! The next part is Y/N flying out to la and meeting the triplets for the first time!! And texting Matt some more🤭

Any interaction is welcomed and very much appreciated

All borders from @issysh3ll

[soulfulazrael]

"Media literacy" in HB fanbase. OH MY GOD is r/HelluvaBoss dumb. Also Vassago.

I made a mistake

Well 2. One of them is using this gif given recent... funny things with certain VA, but the other, relevant one is visiting the dreaded r/HelluvaBoss

Now I do not engage in discussion there. It will lead nowhere as most of you will realize the moment you will see what I have to show you, but first let's talk about a spectacular case of confused character writing that is Vassago.

I wont discuss who he is in Demonology. That is kind of irrelevant because this show barely follows any of it anyway. What is important is their appearance in Mastermind as the sole defender of Stolas's honor and all I can say is... Who the fuck are you?

And let's be honest. If none of us watched promotional material we would also ask ourselves the same thing. Who is this guy?

And it makes sense because suddenly at a very high point in the story this character is thrown at us as if we are not only supposed to know who this is, but also be amazed at that he defends Stolas. His one friend... brother... lover... someone who comes to his aid among all the other Goetias.

And there was no build up to this character, there was no name drop of him before, no flashback, not even a peep that would relate in ANY way to his character and all we are left with are questions and not the good kind. Why is he for instance speaking spanish in between english? Why is he so important? Why is he the only one in Stolas's corner? Why is he in this pivotal moment that is meant to cap off the entire season's story?

But not to worry because bright people from a beautiful place that is r/HelluvaBoss come to our aid to help our 'media illiteracy'

Do I even have to say anything? I mean I do, but still... come on.

Let us first address top comment "He will be important later". I am sorry, but what kind of justification is that? When is that later? 3rd season? Because if so then this is terrible way of introducing character that is going to be important in 3rd season. Because this show already presents him as if he has been part of the story for a while and gives him a prominent role (as prominent as like 5 lines are) like there was some kind of foreshadowing towards him being the only one to defend Stolas.

There was not. Vassago is put in a role that would be more fitting for character like Ozzie. You know. Actually important character that was given previously some screentime and has established relationship with the main cast who can stand in this proceeding and do SOMETHING aside from looking down at his phone like an average 12 year old today during Christmas Dinner.

And that is the thing. Such a role in an episode should NOT be given to completely new character. This is a role that should be given to already pre established character that AT LEAST is mentioned by word. Like I dunno. With Stolas maybe wondering how Vassago is doing or how maybe at some point he mentions him. SOMETHING. Dropping this character so suddenly in such a crucial moment of the story is just very strange. In a way same goes for Satan who also had about nothing about him besides I believe Verosika episode having him mentioned... one line... that is the level of foreshadow we are doing here.

And then there is that other comment that talks about "media literacy". You want to add a new character? How about do it ANYWHERE ELSE than a crucial part of it. Because those moments are not good for introductions of new parts of main cast without any prior mention of them. Those moments are meant to be culmination of everything that came before. Leave intros for before and/or after.

And then we have some of this

I love those people man. All talking about "media literacy" or "anti-intelectualism". Just... AAAAGH! God. Yeah. You are so smart. You understand writing so well.

Let's just put it into perspective. This is as if Verosika's first appearance would be in Apology Tour as one of the people Blitzo hurt and we are suddenly supposed to care for her even though she never showed up or was mentioned before. That would be STUPID right?

Well that's what they did with Vassago. Apparently VERY important character to Stolas introduced haphazardly during climax of the Season in a prominent role of being the only one who defends him even though not only is this part better suited for other character that is there, but also this role is absolutely wasted because he has about 5 goddamn lines. And it is telling how much in that first image the long comment does mostly just theorizing because we know absolutely NOTHING about this character and people are already supposed to be hyped for him despite that he was introduced so quickly. Also take a load of this.

Yeah. Because a character introduced at the very start of the book is the same as goddamn Vassago. In fact this is like Gandalf being introduced in Moria. Wouldn't that be just dumb? And you know what's sad? This.

Those people actually bring up good points. And they either no attention or get downvoted. Why? Because critical thinking is a sin on that subreddit. The first one especially (upvoted by me now BTW). Just... ugh...

This is the state of people on r/HelluvaBoss. If you value your braincells do NOT go to that damn place. There is about as much critical thinking and praised "media literacy" as there is on ragebait thread on twatter spouted by some idiot talking about how "west has fallen" because woman.

It's stupid. And makes me dumber just thinking about it. Jesus. This fanbase man. It's amazing.

Now there are smart people in this fanbase. There are good people in it. There are very much great, talented people in it. And some of those people who I mentioned who's comments hurt my brain could be talented and could be smart, but are just not about this part of HB. But considering what they are saying... I needed to vent about this because this hurts to see.

And the worst part is that Viv probably likes that this fanbase is like this. No critical thinking or doubts. Just spouting insults. Making headcanons to counter criticism and refusal to leave their echo chamber.

It's sad. Because not only I feel bad for them, but I feel bad for the show, because with fans like those how could it EVER improve? To many of those probably the only time to say anything critical is when it's all over. But at that point... who cares?

Also do not think I am some pillar of 'media literacy' or 'intellectualism'. I am not. I am really not. I am just passionate about writing and those people cause me headaches.

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

Evolution of Passion: Hedonistic Debauchery .

Hmmm...I think..Sangria will do nicely for this sip session. Same ingredients as the booze, just minus the booze and plus some hibiscus tea.

The final chapter of the ask from danmeiljie. "Do you have any specific headcanons about the way Astarion historically had sex and how that effects the sex he has during all three acts of the game and throughout your romance with him (including i think a brothel scene you can have even if you did not romance him)? Meaning, initiation, positioning, control, diassociation versus engaging, one on one sex versus group sex, etc? Thank you!

I know there is a lot of shade being thrown around at players who went down the orgy path. But I am not going to do that. There will be no bell, and no words of "shame" shouted within these sentences. G.O.T. is over there. Go play.

Now, let us get into this hot steaming pot of sexual misadventure. Shall we?

WARNING: Game Spoilers, Topics of Sex, Abuse, and Adult themes/Language. Not underage appropriate.

This is not fact, just opinion based off my own and game experience. As always, how anybody cannons their relationships or behaviors is perfectly right! No blame, no shame, it's your game!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ahhhh, there is nothing more rewarding than sex as payment for a job well done (laughs in ridiculous). But, in all fairness, you are in a brothel. What else would they pay you in if not poles and holes.

So, to make sense of the second half, lets look at the first half.

If Tav tries to engage in group activities before Cazador's demise, Astarion is not up for it.

He very clearly, but reluctantly, expresses this after the twins suggest adding him to the mix. His refusal starts out strong, but then disintegrates into a frown.

One thing I have picked up on for this complex Elf, is that he clears his throat when expressing a vulnerable emotion. Such as telling Tav what they are to him or his devotions towards them. "I have the upmost confidence you would do the same for me. Now excuse me while I go and regurgitate the sap rankling in my throat."

And he clears his throat here.

"Ahem. Sorry , pet, I'm not quite comfortable with doing this again yet."

(watching him assert boundaries gives me the same feelings as cute aggression. It makes me want to chew on him. I love it! Grrr rawwr nom nom nom.)

And of course he is not interested. He is not even having sex with Tav at this point in time. And Tav is someone he is in an established relationship with. Sharing intimate thoughts with everyday and trancing skin to skin with every night. Why would he suddenly be interested in having sex when strangers are involved? That would make no sense and be pretty disrespectful to Tav honestly.

To me, the tentativeness is not from a worry that Tav will force him into it, because they can't. He has already regained his ability to say no to situations involving his body and won't be swayed. It's from the subconscious worry that something else negative might happen for saying no.

The word NO was probably banned in Cazador's house and he was more than likely punished severely and often for saying it. It would be expected for him to still have those fears as boundary setting is still very new and difficult for him.

So it makes sense he could be concerned his refusal might create a negative consequence. Such as Tav choosing to sleep with the twins out of spite for withholding.

"You wont sleep with me so I will find someone who will."

Or belittling him for being precious about it.

"The one thing you are good at and you can't even do that? Pathetic."

(pardon me while I go wash my hands after typing that awful shit.)

This is apparent if Tav tries to hire one of the twins on their own.

"Enjoy yourself, of course, but I dearly hope you aren't only having sex because we haven't in awhile. hum? "

Remember, he is counting the days until midnight chimes and it all ends between them. He is still not fully trusting of Tav's feelings for him. (that pout..I can't.)

Also, does the party know that Astarion and Tav are not going bump in the night? If not, they do now. That question would have completely blown his cover as the insatiable hedonistic rake forever in search of top shelf debauchery. Awkward pause anyone?

But, he need not worry because Tav is incredible! And like Moonrise towers, if you did it that way, does not make him do anything he does not want to. Again. In fact, Tav supports his boundary by saying "Don't worry, I wouldn't ask such a thing of you." Which makes him uncomfortable.

Wait.. What?

Oh yeah, but don't fret, he's not disrespecting your respect.

"Eugh, don't be so nice to me! It makes me want to be nice back."

Ah the good ol' shield of sarcastic humor. A piece of armor Astarion wields like a master. Capable of deflecting uncomfortable situations and bashing incoming feelings.

Astarion is very private when it comes to his inner world and Tav has just publicly supported him with kindness and respect after he just admitted to something vulnerable in front of EVERYONE. Could anybody else hear him internally yelling at himself? "Fuck! You just gave up the game you idiot!"

Had they been alone I am sure he would have been a puddle of appreciation, but, there are people around. Quick! You look weak! Do something! Woosh!! Out comes the shield of sarcastic humor.

"Stop it. When you talk like that it makes me want to be nice. Gross!"

Possible looking weak disaster averted.

If Tav chose the "I would have like to, but I understand." he says nothing. Because its not a show of real support. It's very, I'm only not doing it because you have a problem with it. It sounds more like blame then understanding. And it's probably what he expected anyway. Better to be belittled than pitied. Eh?

Meh..

Now, on to the main event! I hope you brought snacks! Oh. Wait. you were the snack. HA!

When Tav suggests group actives after Cazador's well deserved, overdue, satisfying obliteration, the answer is vastly different.

"I'd like to try doing things like this again now that I'm free to find my own desires. And don't worry, Ill dart out if I don't enjoy it faster than I used to run from the sun. Ha ha."

We have already established that he cannot be manipulated into engaging in activities that involve his body when he does not want to. So I really believe he is being honest here. There is no "I'm lying out my fangs" face. No glancing at his nails or attempt to deflect reasonability by trying to put the want on Tav. "Id like to try since YOU want to".

To me, this reads as genuine interest in wanting to try. There is an undercurrent of doubt and anxiety given that the delivery is a bit overdramatized, and his expression shifts a bit. But that is to be expected. People are a bit skittish to get back in the proverbial saddle after being thrown off and trampled.

But why would he agree to it if he didn't feel solid about it?

Why do any of us do that?

Curiosity. Have you met this man?

Perhaps he is curious to see, like the first bite, if it truly is something he can do. He may think that a lot of how he felt about such things was tainted by Cazador's views and feelings and they were not fully his own. Cazador was able to control his body, why not his mind? But now he is truly free he may think that his feelings and reactions towards these activities will be different. Sex with his partner was beyond amazing that first night of freedom. Maybe this will change too? He can finally be the debauched hedonist he always claims he wants to be. Right?

But, as in life, sometimes what we hope happens vs what does happen can be quite different.

He has slipped the old persona back on and is playing the "professional". Putting himself in a position of servicing rather than receiving with them by saying "tell us what YOU want."

"It was easy. Instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in"

A clear indication that he has separated his main consciousness from this event.

And honestly, trying to please three to four people all at once is a lot to process. So many moving parts. Literally.

"That's it! He was a million miles away. That is what makes it an evil choice!"

At first glance it can seem that way. But look again.

He doesn't react negatively afterward. He doesn't break up with Tav like he did when they made him bite the drow or push sex on him. And there is no deduction of approval. He accepts that it was his choice.

One thing to remember is that disassociating is not just a coping mechanism exclusive to extreme trauma. It can be triggered in everyday life. Daydreaming, highway hypnosis, or getting lost in a book or movie are all examples of mild dissociation. Your body is on autopilot. You are relying on muscle memory and the base of your brain to do the processing.

How many times have you been lost in a book for hours only to blink and realize your ten chapters in and its 3 am? You still sipped your tea, still turned the pages, you still lost your socks, but do you really remember doing it?

How many times have you been at your job doing that same repetitive task for the hundredth time just to realize its lunch time and the task is complete without you being fully aware of what you just did?

Right?!

I think it's the same here. Astarion is once again behind the wheel of a sexual situation he has been the star of over and over and over again and is , I think, zoning out out of habit. He did the same thing with Tav in the woods and Tav wasn't hurting him. So its not pain triggered.

Now, a conversation about it afterward would have been nice.

"But, that seems unfair. In his origin run or if you ascend him, there is no mention of him mentally stepping out. It just with Tav and Tav loves him. Why? "

The content of his experience is different.

Ascended Astarion doesn't care about anybody but himself and his consort. So he indulges without reciprocating.

Origin Spawn Astarion initiated the encounter himself. He made the decision to hire the twins for his own pleasure so he is more engaged. (I may or may not have had to pause when he asked Halsin to pin him against the wall. Spicy. )

I think Spawn Astarion is servicing more than participating because then encounter was initiated by Tav. So he sees the encounter as being more for them than for him. His thoughts may have been something like..

"Hmm, Tav wants to try this. Maybe, with them, it will be different for me too. We can be hedonists together! That sounds like fun! I'll need to make sure this is a good experience for them. And I need to keep them safe."

So even though he takes control of the situation by driving it.

"Alright sweethearts, you dare to dance with a professional."

He unintentionally defaulted into old habits due to the familiarity of the situation. He is not receiving here, he is seducing Tav and the twins. He did the same thing in the woods. He is in control, yes, but he is "working".

The take away, for me, is that the experience is neither "good" or "evil". We just learn that he tried something and he is not as ready for it as he had hoped. And that happens! And its OK.

Sometimes we jump into things we think we might be up for only to find out it is not our cup of tea. That's how we learn and that's how we discover who we are. The "good" or "evil" of it is found in what you do with that knowledge.

Do you continue the behavior with its consequences? Or do you accept it is not for the you that you are at this point in time and move forward?

"But that first rush of freedom can be intoxicating. I didn't always make the best decisions when I first tasted it."

The choice is yours.

Now, as living breathing NON NPC's we know, I would hope, that taking your real world partner, who was a known sex slave, to a brothel to engage in an orgy after six months of freedom, is an emotionally unintelligent and objectively stupid thing to do. Unless, it is their desire and for reasons that serve them in an enriching and positive way. There are always exceptions to things. But, for the most part, we all know its wise not to stick our hands in fires we know will burn us, right?

Play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go find my elf and accept my "punishment". He thinks he pulled a muscle from pouting so hard. And since that was somehow my fault, he demands I make it right by letting him lay his head in my lap and massage his cheeks till the "soreness" goes away. * eye roll * delightful repentances are the worst.

[dianagj-art]

Is there Oneion facts we can know about?

THIS HAS BEEN ON MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG OMG IM SO SORRY, HERE'S SOME FACTS ABOUT THE BABY BOY

(the baby boy in question is ten years older than me)

I'm gonna go canon stuff first, then some fun crossover stuff:

The version that I'm using is 35-ish years old (a few years before the movie events), he's been the leader of the resistance for around a decade

He still has all his brothers and loves them very much, would kill and die for them

Way more chill than One is right now, still a beast on combat

One can manipulate vines only using the seeds Draxum makes, Oneion can summon them at will from the ground with little issue

In the story he mostly goes by Leo now, very few people call him One (but lets keep calling him Oneion to avoid confusion)

The protesis he uses is an old one from Raph, but he outgrew it and gave it to Oneion when he lost his arm. It was a bit ridiculously big for him at the time, it's still a *little* too big for Oneion, but by the time he's 40-something (movie events) its gonna fit right in

The scarf he has is not the same One has, but as One's it was a gift from Draxum, he has carry the same scarf the whole apocalypse

Still has a lot of gold accents on his clothes

He's still the best fighter out of the four turtles

He loves being around kids but doesn't, he's afraid of hurting them. He knows he didn't had a normal childhood but is not 100% aware of what part was normal and ok and what part is not, and he rathers not take a chance and do something wrong.

He ends up enjoying teaching martial arts, tho he doesn't like being called sensei, and he wont spar with anyone bellow his level (again, being afraid of hurting them)

Casey Jr becomes the exception to these

Crossover stuff!

he can and will beat the shit out of One, he knows how much One can take so he's not really worried about that

when the apocalypse started he basically lost contact with the multiverse, so no fun crossovers for him. Until by the power of "@intotheelliwoods started doing fanart of Oneion before I even had finished his design" he had access to the multiverse again!

First of his "old frieds" he saw was Poptart and Sprout (2al huggy leos) and first thing he did was to hug Sprout<3 (well, he first kinda yelled at him but I'll draw that some day)

I don't think he has met again with the rest of the separated council? I don't remember if I've stick him in any crossover situations

he loves hugging Poptart, he's teddy bear size<3 and he'll never get tired of calling him his friend and loving him "the way he deserves" because he still hasn't forgive himself for the shitty way he treated Poptart (dont worry about it)

he fucking destroyed the attempt of a slau/2al crossover time line

he says he's fine by it but he keeps bringing up the "jawbreaker" incident, I dont think he got over it, actually

he hangs out with Sprout a lot

something something, being with Sprout makes him feel like a kid again, and it makes Sprout feel like a kid again because Oneion reminds him of Big Leo

Sprout and Oneion have a spa day, they deserve it<3 they also go shopping together. Also, they are not exactly good at cooking but they try and they love working together on the kitchen

Oneion got the "Oneion" nickname by Sprout and Poptart

he stronk. he can lift Sprout with no problem, and even Toast

if you wanna have a good time scroll down the besties tag on ell's blog or mine (2)

[not-your-kitten17]

I wrote this and posted it a while ago, and i wanted to reblog, but i can find it, so i will post it again because i want this so bad and i keep thinking about it

Dont let them know

Sat on mommys lap playing video games with your friends. Not realising that,as you are getting innocently excited, you are gently bouncing on her lap,grinding into her with every movement and bounce. She tells you softly in your ear" baby, stop moving " you absentmindly agree but only stop for a short time before you start again. After the game round ends, your mommy speaks loudly " whats that baby? You are alittle overwhelmed, poor baby " you look at her confused, you are feeling fine before you can agrue back, she speaks again " guys, we are going to go upstairs so darling can calm down, you can play the next round without us " as she grabs your arm and gently drags you out the room, subtly glaring at you not to challenge her, you hear your friends say bye and how they hope you feel better soon.

You dont dare speak as you are dragged into the bathroom, confused on what is going on as she locks the door. Just as you open your mouth about to ask whats happening, mommy speaks lowly " I told you to stop moving on my lap, grinding your pretty little arse into me like that. Such a naughty girl, you did that on purpose didnt you? Get me all worked up thinking i wouldnt do anything while we are at our friends? " you stutter " w-what? No! No! I didnt mean it i promise! I just got excited as i was winning i promise mommy! " mommy just hums, staring at you for a moment, just long enough to make you nervously squirm. And then she sighs and smirks " well, whether you meant it or not, you still didnt listen when i told you to stop and now mommy is all wet and worked up...and you are going to fix what you caused" you gasp " b-but we are at our freinds, what if they hear us! " " dont worry baby, mommy can be quiet and you will be too smothered in my pussy for any noises to be heard. Now get on your knees. Now!"

You kneel, and she pulls down her joggers and soaked underwear. " Come on, what are you waiting for? Eat" you take a second too long so she sighs, roughly grabs your hair and forces your face into her, sighing in relief and starts to grind on your face "hurry and stick out your tongue and make mommy feel good or do i have to make a mess of your face so everyone knows what a little whore you are hmm? " you quickly get to work " ah thats it baby, if you do a good job and behave, maybe i wont fuck you so hard in here that everyone hears what a little slut you are.... i will just fuck you enough to leave you dripping all night "

[pinkkop]

Another week has passed! And I'm still sticking to my weekly recap, though I know 2 weeks isn't super impressive but I'm sticking to this!! I've actually set up a whole system to make these posts and I'm probably going to make a post explaining how tomorrow (link to post)

As always, any constructive criticism is welcome and I'll probably keep improving this format for a while.

QL Recap for Week 2

The 6th of January to the 12th of January

🇹🇼 See Your Love

Episode 13 of 13 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

Final notes: This show was just so good and it definitely stuck the landing. Both couples were great, felt very fresh and I was super invested in both. If they'd had a longer runtime they could have definitely used more time on the core plot and the second couple but that's really more of a wish of mine. They used the time they had well and I can definitely see myself returning to this. And just the cherry on top of two great pairings came an interesting plot which didn't treat Shaopeng's disability as something to be fixed and instead showed all the ways he was perfect just the way he is.

🇹🇭 ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat

Episode 5 of 13 || Watching on: Youtube

Another great episode! Was a little surprised that Thame hadn't realized he has feelings for Po yet but at least we got there now. I'm not entirely sure what Jun's problem is yet but at least it seems like Po knows he is up to something. Nano's fear of failure and desperate need to not feel like a burden to other people was so relatable and I'm really happy they all were there to help him understand that it's okay to rely on other people. It's safe to say I'm very invested in this show!

🇹🇭 The Heart Killers

Episode 7 of 12 || Watching on: Youtube

Oh this was delicious! Just the intricacies of Bison and Fadel now also knowing Kant and Style's motives and pretending they don’t. The BB gun scene was insane because it felt very close to home when Bison and Fadel are used to being out shooting people but this was just for pretend. Two things were said in this scene which I'd bet was foreshadowing: Style asking to be allowed to help which might mean he'll be shooting a real gun in the future and Kant saying he'll shield Bison which I'd bet means he'll try and shield Bison for real in the future and might actually get shot. Overall the acting in this episode was phenomenal!! Particularly the final boat scene was just *chef's kiss*

🇹🇭 Your Sky

Episode 9 of 12 || Watching on: iQiYi

Oh they are just the sweetest boyfriends!! Can't wait for Hia and Real to finally get their shit together and have a proper talk but luckily they'll take steps towards that next week. This show is just my happy space right now.

🇹🇭 Fourever You

Episode 16 of 17? || Watching on: Gray

I'm still one episode ahead but I wont spoil anything so don't worry if you haven't seen episode 16. I feel a little bad but I was pretty happy about having an episode for just Johan and North. I absolutely adore them so it was so great get more background story on them. For some reason I thought this show was only 16 episodes so I have no clue what the total nr. of episodes are anymore. I wouldn't mind a couple of more episodes with Johan and North as the focus though because they're the highlight of this show for me. I do also love seeing the two friend groups and their friendships which to be honest I could use more of. I love that even the very masculine group of friends have each others backs and are able to be vulnerable in with each other.

🇯🇵 Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu

Episode 10 of 10 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

Final notes: Oh these two! This was such a good story of living in a world that doesn't accept you. Just two lonely lost boys finding love and a home in each other. Even when they get their happy ever aften they still live in a society where they have to hide and it just breaks my heart. I just hope they find better friends. Overall I really liked this show and how it was produced. I could easily feel the pain of these two and put myself in their place. It was by no means perfect but it was a good little show with all the things that made me enjoy watching it.

🇹🇭 Petrichor

Episode 7 of 10 || Watching on: iQiYi

I'm still enjoying this very much and putting the killer in-between our two main characters was so delicious. The crime plot and the romance are heavily intertwined and one enhances the other. This was the same with Spare Me Your Mercy but also the reason why when SMYM didn't develop the relationship enough it also affected the rest of the plot. I don't find that this is the same problem here though.

🇹🇭 Caged Again

Episode 10 of 10 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

Final notes: This concept was absolutely bonkers but they made it work really well. I loved how they played into the animal characters because it made it feel more believable and original and fun. I fully believed that the two were transformed from specific animals and it made it great. It kinda lost it's magic towards it's end but I still think its well worth a watch.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners

Episode 12 of 24 || Watching on: Youtube

I'm still invested in Gun and Yotha, and I'm loving Arc's presence in their lives. I however was very confused about Aou and Boom's couple suddenly getting screen-time. I like these two as actors but since their characters came into this show already established and with very little screen-time before this week I'm not invested in them at all.

🇹🇭 The Boy Next World

Episode 2 of 10 || Watching on: iQiYi

This show is suffering from the large amount of shows airing on Sunday because I'm struggling to pay enough attention to actually get invested. The acting and production value is there and I like the plot a lot but I usually get to this third so I'm usually tired and anxious about in being Sunday when I get to it which isn't an easy situation to get into a new show.

🇯🇵 Futtara Doshaburi

Episode 1 of 7 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

I don't understand how you can slowly start moving your beds away from each other in a relationship. They got some serious issues and desperately need to talk about it but are doing anything but that. I'm a little confused about the otsee your loher couples(?) dynamic, are they dating? Just roommates? They're acting like they're more than roommates at times but I guess we'll find out. I assume that all that is something we'll find out so I'm intrigued by this show, even if I worry a little that they'll get into "cheating" territory at some point which is not my cup of tea.

🇹🇭 Sangmin Dinneaw

Episode 3 of 8 || Watching on: iQiYi

Sangnim and Dinneaw are super cute and I love all the languange stuff and I'm also interested so see where the second couple goes. But other than that I kept thinking all episode: "What even is this show? " The Pony thing still isn't my kind of humor but I'm assuming someone is finding it funny. The third couple however, what even is the point of them? We don't know them at all so I'm not invested in them or their relationship and I don't even know what those sex scenes are? Like they're neither funny nor sexy, why are they there? This is the one time where I'll allow NC scenes to be called unnecessary. I'm just so confused so if anyone has any insights please let me know!! Maybe it's just not my thing? I don't ever remember watching a show where I really liked parts of if but then absolutely didn't like other parts.

🇨🇳 I'll Turn Back This Time

Episode 1 of 6 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

I really like Meet You at the Blossom so I'm very curious to see if this can live up to the hype. They pretty much speed ran "enemies to lovers to something more" so I'm worried that this will come back to bite them in the ass later. Either way I'm intrigued and I'll wait and see the show unfold more before I make more of a judgement on this show.

🇹🇼 Eternal Butler

Episode 5 of 12 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

I'm watching this incredibly casually because I'm not big on robots in romantic relationships and, like it's predecessor, Anti Reset, you shouldn't think too hard about the plot.

That's it for this week!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)

[teyamsilly]

big baby and bigger baby

pairing neteyam x mom! oc, lo'ak x mom! oc, slight neytiri x mom! oc tags & warning i'm so down bad for neytiri, slight romance with wifey, lo'ak and neteyam are def mamas boys, mentions of blood and violence summary preparing for another raid, jake finally let his sons take part in it. veronica was proud but her concerns never left her.  word count 2.6k index skxawng [idiot], ma'itan [my son], prrnen [baby]

teyamsilly speaking ✩ idk if i'll ever be satisfied with how my stories are cause i keep coming back to it and it feels like there is something lacking :') hope you enjoy it !

"We hit them here. Assuming they will be waiting for us to hit them earlier in the transport because of our surprise attack last time, let's wait a bit more until they cross this-" Veronica circled an area on the map with red paint using her finger, "to attack them. Like we discussed before, Tarsem will place the bombs by the tracks and activate them. The track gets destroyed and the train breaks. Na'vi on ground will collect all the goods in the train. Everything that is of use to us. Na'vi on sky will handle the helicopters."

She observed all the warriors. "Am I clear?"

They all answered with a firm yes, a nod of respect sent her way. Veronica looked at Jake and nodded. The simple gesture from her told him that the brief was done.

"Warriors, get ready!" announced Jake. The tent was instantly filled war cries, filling each na'vi inside with determination. The RDA destroyed their home once, they wont allow it to happen again. One by one, they left. 

The Olo'eyktan watched as each of them exited the tent until his gaze stopped on two distinctive figures. He sighed, "Neteyam and Lo'ak, stay for a moment."

Veronica and Neytiri shared a knowing look. Their two sons weren't meant to be part of the raid because it was too dangerous. The first raid took five of their warriors lives and many injured, and fortunately Neteyam and Lo'ak weren't too stubborn about joining. This time they begged days on end about being a part of it. 

Every time, Jake replied no without hesitation. He might claim they weren't prepared or that it was too perilous, but his two wives understood deep down that it was just because he didn't want the sight of their blood out there. Heck, he was already worried about Veronica and Neytiri being part of the raid. Thinking about his sons in the field will give him a headache.

The brothers glanced at each other before standing in front of him. Jake eyed them intensely as he spoke. "You're spotters, you got it? Spot bogeys and alert us if there are any," he reminded.

They nodded. "Yes, sir."

Their response didn't ease him, however. Jake knew it was an automatic response just for them to be granted permission. He stared at his younger son a bit longer before he nudged his head to the door. The boys walked away from their position and exited the tent. Their absence filled the place with silence as the adults just stood there and watched where they left.

Veronica lay her hand on his shoulder, and squeezed them gently. She smiled, "They will be fine."

"Yeah, I hope so," he mumbled, his head down.

"I am still against it," said Neytiri. 

Veronica snapped her gaze towards her with furrowed brows. If there was one thing she knew about Neteyam and Lo'ak, it was that they would start to defy them little by little if they shielded them for too long.

"But," Neytiri continued, "our sons are strong. They know what to do."

Jake pursed his lips, his only response being a nod. The boys were too young for this in his eyes. Just because he wasn't human anymore, it didn't mean that he has forgotten his culture and beliefs. Neteyam's age may be considered the age of maturity, but to Jake he is still a kid.

Veronica tucked her knife in her sheath that was tied around her lower back above her tail. It was hard to stay positive in this situation because it seemed like Jake's anxiety passed to her. He isn't wrong to feel that way, no. She tried to overlook negative thoughts about them being there because the two were looking forward to this. They were driven to protect their home, and she doesn't blame them for that.

All the warriors crowded around the egde of High Camp with their ikrans. Vera, her ikran, stood out to her the most just because her colours are her favourite. She was painted with a mix of white, light blue, and green— colours that reminded her of the ocean.

"Can't believe we're spotters," Lo'ak grumbled. He shook the locks of the saddle on his ikran, making sure that it is fastened.

Neteyam sighed as he shook his head. "Be grateful. This is better than nothing."

The younger brother rolled his eyes. "Bet he only said yes cause Mama said so."

Lo'ak was sure that his life would have been more difficult if his mother wasn't there. She was the only person who understood him, who wouldn't yell at him for his mistakes and instead talk to him in a manner that he would understand what he did was wrong. His father's scoldings does give him a wake up call, but not enough to make him stop.

"And what about me?" Veronica arched an eyebrow as she approached them.

Neteyam smirked when he heard his brother curse under his breath as he was caught in the act.

"Nothing, mama."

"This skxawng said father only said yes because you said so, mom," said Neteyam. Lo'ak sent him a glare but he could care less. His baby brother was harmless as long as their mom was there.

Since the children have two mothers, they called them with different names to not confuse the women.There were too many instances when they were babies crying out for their mothers, but the mothers would always attend to them simultaneously. So, Neytiri was mother, while Veronica was mom. Although, Lo'ak called Veronica mama since he was little and he didn't grow away from that habit.

"Just so you know, I don't feel as confident anymore for letting the two of you out there. There are still ways you could help the clan and I would gladly find them," she said. Her words alerted the two teenagers immediately. Veronica smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "However, I trust you not to do anything stupid. Am I right to do so?"

Lo'ak nodded, his boyish grin stretched on his lips. "Mama, please, as if I would do something stupid at a time like this."

"You don't really have a good record for showing obedience in the worst times, ma'itan."

Neteyam chuckled, "Don't worry, mom. I will make sure he will stay put."

Somehow, I doubt that, she thought. The eldest son always managed to be tangled in his mess even if he doesn't want to, but she felt reassured that Lo'ak wasn't alone. 

Looking at them stood at each others side made Veronica feel nostalgic. The image of them as children flashed through her head. They were yelling for her and running towards her with cheeky smiles, jumping into her arms. It seemed like time flew too fast. Now, they had matured and had a sense of responsibility. 

"When did you grow so big?" Veronica sighed, tears welling up in her eyes. She drew Lo'ak into her embrace.

"Mom, stop," Lo'ak whined. His eyes looked around frantically with his cheeks flushed. He did not want to be treated like a prrnen in front of so many people.

"Hm, why?" she teased. "Do you have a girl I don't know about?"

"No, but-"

"I thought so." Veronica tightened her arms around her son, planting a kiss on his temple with a loud sound effect just to embarrass him more. She laughed as she heard him groan against her.  "My baby is so big now!"

"Mom!" he complained. Veronica laughed as she took a step away from her son, seeing his cheeks flushed from embarrassment entertained her. 

She turned to Neteyam. "Ah, my bigger baby." Her arms were stretched away from her sides, an invitation. Unlike Lo'ak, Neteyam didn't shy away from her affection. 

He felt so nervous about the raid that his hands started to sweat, but his nerves weren't enough to scare him away. He wondered how Lo'ak looked so calm, excited even. They were actually going to witness up close the damages the RDA could bring. But being wrapped around his mom's warmth relaxed him, even if it was just for a little while.

"Mom, are you in sky team?" he asked.

Veronica shook her head. "No, I am part of the ground team. Your mother is the one in sky team."

Neteyam felt a gentle kiss against his temple. She stepped back, her hands squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. "Everything will be fine, Teyam."

He thought hearing those words again would make him feel better, but it didn't.

Veronica wondered if her mother ever felt this way: her heart racing from anxiety, a knot in her stomach, and the palms of her hands sweaty just for being worried for her own daughters' safety. Although the chances are highley unlikely, it didn't hurt to wonder. She would consider her mother lucky if she had never felt that way because then she had nothing to fear.

The moment she didn't see her two sons in the sky like they were supposed to, panic started to kick in. She spotted their ikrans staying on the ground, their riders nowhere to be seen. Just as she was about to alarm Jake, gun ships came and fired at them. 

Veronica hurried to take cover, not leaving her any time to search for her sons. She prayed that they were safe, and that everyone managed to escape the shots. She only felt her worries fade away when she saw Lo'ak flew away on his ikran, but it soon came back when Neteyam was being carried by Jake. He had scratches on his back, blood seeping out from it. Did every mother experience this?

They were currently at High Camp. She carressed Vera's head before approaching the boys. 

"Mom! Mama!" Tuk ran towards the two women and tried to hug them both with her small arms. The youngest Sully would often call either of the mothers with different names, not that they mind. Like Lo'ak, Tuk didn't stray away from her habit in calling Veronica mama, but she does call Neytiri this sometimes.

Veronica smiled and pinched her cheek gently. She patted the small girl's back when she moved away, and continued to walk towards the boys. Neteyam stood in front of his father, his head hung low as he held his injured arm. Lo'ak stood still by his ikran, nervous for what's to come. How ironic.

"You're supposed to be spotters. You spot bogeys, and you call 'em in," Jake scolded furiously, his eyes dancing between them. "From a distance!" he emphasised. "Does any of this sound familiar? Get here!" 

Lo'ak obeyed and stood beside his brother, ashamed. Veronica observed her youngest sons' back before she went to Neteyam who was injured. She clicked her tongue gently as she surveyed his injuries. There were numerous scratches on his back, but some cut deeper than the others. Kiri rushed to her side once she saw the condition her brother was in.

"Jesus. I let you two geniuses fly a mission, and you disobey direct orders." Jake sighed, "Kiri, can you go help your grandmother with the wounded? Please?"

"My brother is wounded," she pointed out.

"Baby girl, please. Tuk, go with her. Go."

Kiri sighed as she shook her head, walking away with Tuk.

"Dad– sir. I take full responsibility," said Neteyam, his head hung low still.

"Yeah, you do. That's right. 'Cause you're the older brother, you gotta act like it."

Neytiri gave her husband a pointed look. "MaJake. Your son is actually bleeding."

Neteyam shook his head. "Mother, it's fine. I-"

"No, it's not," Veronica cut him off. She looked at Jake with an arched eyebrow.

His gaze shifted between Neteyam's face and his injured body. For a moment, his anger diminished. "Just go and get patched up. Go on, dismissed."

"Come," she whispered for the young boy to hear. Her hand held his bicep as they walked past Jake. She shot Jake a knowing look before walking further, passing by warriors who were getting situated.

They walked in silence, and Neteyam was not sure if it was comfortable or not. He hadn't experienced getting a scolding from his mom, it would either be from his mother or father. Usually Jake on rare occurrences. 

Neteyam pursed his lips. "Mom," he called weakly.

"How many times did you save your brothers back?" she asked softly.

He stayed silent.

"I know you are doing your job as the older brother, and you are doing it really well. But, a time will come when Lo'ak will have to grow too. He has to learn how to own up to his mistakes." Veronica held his shoulders, stopping him from entering the Tsahik's hut. She moved in front of him, cupping his cheek gently and made him look at her. "You do not have to try so hard. You are just a kid."

Neteyam's eyes widened, his eyes turning glossy. He wasn't so sure why his chest started to hurt. Maybe it was because his hard work was being acknowledged, or maybe it was because someone saw that he was trying. Couldn't his dad see that too?

As Veronica patted his cheek gently, she smiled, "Go on. I'll be right with you."

The boy only nodded, he feared that if he tried to speak, his voice would crack and tears would start spilling from his eyes. Her eyes searched for Lo'ak through the crowd and spotted him with the ikrans, removing the saddles. The upset look on his face made her sigh.

Mo'at crouched behind Neteyam's back as she applied medicine on his injuries. He would either yelp or hiss at the contact of his wounds. Spider was in the hut too, he would make jokes here and then about how Neteyam was acting like a baby out of it just to make him feel better. Veronica laughed quietly at his words. She was relieved that the tension wasn't there anymore, she didn't know if she could bare it.

Her eyes trailed from Neteyam's back then outside the hut, sensing a presence. She locked gazes with Neytiri before it shifted to Jake's back, busying himself with his gun. Veronica excused herself and told Kiri to take over, approaching Neytiri. The hair at the end of her tail brushed against her wife's thigh as she gave her a peck on the lips. 

Neytiri's hand caressed her arm, but her eyes stayed on the boys. Neteyam's grunts of pain could still be heard from where they're standing. He never had injuries like this, never this worse. Her tail swished behind her like something was on her mind.

Jake glanced behind him. He sighed, "What?"

"Neteyam and Lo'ak try to live up to you. It is very hard on them," said Neytiri. She faced her husband expectantly.

"I know." He refused to meet their eyes and focused on the weapon in his hand.

Neytiri kneeled beside him. "You are very hard on them." 

Veronica sat beside the other side of Jake to hear their conversation better. Their voices were low to ensure that none of the children heard it.

"I'm their father. It's my job," he pressed.

"This is not a squad. It is a family." Her voice remained soft, and it was enough to break his walls down.

Jake placed his gun on the ground, clenching his fist on his knees. "I thought we'd lost them," he whispered. Tears glossed into his eyes as he looked at the two women, the only people who he could feel vulnerable around with.

It was difficult to stay away from long-term habits. Being a marine meant seeing a lot of difficult situations, he was forced to keep it together and be tough. Seeing his sons affected by the explosion made him lose all of his composure and he didn't know how to deal with it. He was still learning, but everytime he felt like he was getting better, his progress ruins.

Neytiri's expression softened, her eyebrows slightly furrowed as she held his hand. Veronica placed her hand on his thigh, squeezing it gently. No word was said to one another except giving each other comfort. Each parents feared the same thing: losing their child. Parenthood was difficult, but if the three of them were in it together, Jake felt like he will be fine.

banner by @cafekitsune

[boxheadpaint]

oh god when did i diary post last. Well as good a time as any

another year older today, though birthday festivities are actually taking place yesterday and tomorrow due to conflicting schedules and hannukah party stuff. spending this last week of DEMBER watching found footage / mockumentary horror and doing my best not to worry as much as usual to varying levels of success. still need to get refill on blood pressure meds because sleep is annoying again thanks.

joycon controller journey where in the end i grab those ergonomic ones which they only had the pokemon print ones in stock but theyre very nice. they make my switch wide and intimidating and it doesnt hurt to use which im not sure why i ever got used to that for normal joycons? I can take a few guesses though namely being yay videogames and being good at ignoring pain until its gone for a bit.

waiting back for exciting surgery news though knowing state health that wont be for a while! in the mean time just gonna look at fish and have a beautiful time. didnt actually super celebrate christmas this year, stayed home with partner. did have a gift from my mom (MICHEAL FATCAT VOLUME 2 LETS FUCKING GO. And a book on color combinations) for it and another for my birthday (immensely sexy natural illustration book) which was very nice and makes me happy. since she moved to mexico our schedules dont line up as well from timezones but the few calls we have had are nice. she got a puppy that made me cry over video from the smallness.

at this point i miss digital art enough that i am willin to brave the overheating and bluescreening of my surface again but maybe instead i could set up some stand made of welded paperclips or something so it can sit up and breathe again. Mom gave me her old one but its windows 11, then theres the yogas that doug has where one doesnt work with my pen and says ACTIVATE WINDOWS in the corner because it was probably some sensitive work thing while the other yoga has like. a mystery charger we have yet to find. we will likely try to downgrade moms from the windows 11 shit as best we can but god im not confident in it.

Every month i think i need to stop worrying about what people will think of my art, that their interpretations dont matter and i am doing what makes me happy and what keeps me interested. i also manage to forget this every month around the same time. i miss drawing very very quickly to make stupid funny pictures for people, its a lot better at conveying how i feel and think than trying to pull from my limited vocabulary. written words are basically just another kind of picture that are funny and dont make any sense in any order you say them and will never get across what you are trying to say.

okami HD was 5 dollars on the switch. its been a lot of fun to play through it again after all this time- when i was a kid i thought after orochi i beat the game and that whatever else was going on was a weirdly long postgame. i stopped at the VERY near end of act 2 because of the fucking blockhead warrior guy was impossible for me. i was trying to get footage of the weakpoints on a flipphone with my family behind me like mission control. now that im an adult man with reading comprehension and a smaller screen with a built in screencapture function im sure i will get just as mad as i did back then.

12/28/2024, I keep accidentally not hydrating enough day-to-day and i still need a shower. gonna go fuckin water mode

[yourlocalfriendlyhobbit]

Hello! Could you do a merlin x reader to the prompt accidentally referencing them as "my". Maybe Merlin accidentally references the reader as his s/o when speaking to arthur or smthg and arthur gets all oooo and starts questioning merlin only for the reader to come into the room and Arthur just starts teasing them and it all ends in merlin confessing his feelings? Thank you!!!

<< Part 2 | Part 3 (not posted yet) >>

• A/N:

It's actually the first time I write for the show! i'm happy there's still people who loves it! Please keep sending me requests for any characters of the show (bonus points if it's Mordred! i freaking loooove him!)

I kept the idea of Merlin refering to reader as 'my' but changed the plot because i couldn't find how to write it... i really hope you don't mind...

AND I AM SOOOO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE! And i also apologise to the other people who sent me requests! i have a major writing block at the moment, and i didn't want to write something that would be bad... y'all trust me with your ideas, i only want to give you guys the best <3

With the tourney coming up, Camelot was bustling; servants were running back and forth, preparing rooms for the lords and ladies that would come. And Arthur didn't spare Merlin, who already had tones of chores to do... And more chores meant he wouldn't be spending time with you any time soon...

It wasn't really a secret that the young man had a crush on you; though he thought he was hiding it good enough, pretty much everyone saw it. Yes, even Arthur; he was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to tease Merlin about it.

And it's the day of the tourney that said opportunity came.

...

The day was just as chaotic as you would expect it to be. Servants and squires running around the grounds of the castle to get what their lords want; Horses were being tended to; Ladies could be seen occasionaly, looking for the knight they wished to give their favors to... And Arthur was being Arthur. He made Merlin run to his room to get him something that he forgot (of course he said that it was Merlin who forgot it).

Merlin was running in one of the corridors, dodging other servants and guards, apologising when he knocked into someone. But in his hurry, he spotted you carrying a basket of what looked like bed sheets. Merlin had not seen you in maybe 2 or 3 days. He was running so fast that when he saw you and tried to stop to talk to you, he tripped over his own feet, and fell face first on the hard ground, and what he was carrying ended up flying at the end of the corridor.

People around didn't stop to help him; some looked at him laying on the ground but kept walking. Everyone except you. You ran up to him.

"Merlin? Merlin, are you okay?"

You put your hand on his shoulder lightly. He growned in pain, holding the side of his head.

"I think I'm okay, but I have hit my head pretty hard..."

He said. Merlin knew that he would be okay, he could use magic to heal himself.

"Are you sure? Maybe we should get Gaius to check if you are really okay..."

He knew he shouldn't smiled but seeing you so worried for him was making him flustered. He sat up slowly, his hand still holding the side of his head.

"No, no, really I'm good... I have to go back to Arthur's tent to help him finish getting ready for the tourney. This dollophead can't do it alone."

He laughed. The last comment made you chuckle. It was impressive how Merlin could talk to the Prince and not get punished for it... You helped him stand up, making sure he could actually stand on his two feets.

"Alright Merlin, you go help him... but stop running please. You are going to really hurt yourself one day..."

He chuckled, and before he could really think, he kissed your forehead.

"Don't worry, my (Y/n), i wont!"

It took Merlin a second, seeing your red face, to realise what he had just done and said. Which resulted in him blushing just as much as you. He started stuttering, trying to apologise and his heart was racing. You found that endearing. You thought he was adorable.

Unbeknownst to both of you, Arthur, who was getting impatient seeing as Merlin had not come back, was standing at the end of the corridor, watching. Now, he had what he wanted to tease Merlin as much as much as possible...

"(Y/n) I- hum- I'm sorry I- I don't know why I did that-"

"Merlin, it's okay, no need to apologise..."

You said calmly. You just looked at eachother for a second before you both smiled. You were looking at the ground, with red cheeks, but Merlin couldn't look away from you, completely entranced by you. You cleared your throat before saying:

"I should go or I'm going to be yelled at.... And Arthur is going to be mad if you don't come back soon... But we could talk again, later..."

His heart was pounding so hard, he was sure you could hear it.

"Yes- Y-Yes, absolutely! Can't wait!"

He said breathlessly. You picked up your basket.

"Then , see you later."

You stood on your tip toes, and kissed his cheek. You gave him one last smile and left. Merlin stood there, smiling like a dork, watching you leave. When you turned a corner and disappeared from sight, a heavy hand landed on his shoulder. And when he turned, he saw Arthur smiling mischievously.

"I send you to my chambers to get something, and find you flirting with (Y/n)- Let me rephrase this. Flirting with your (Y/n)~"

Merlin became red from neck to the tip of his ears. It was really his luck... He wouldn't hear the end of it. Arthur added:

"I can't blame you, Merlin. They're very pretty... And it's about time you do something about that crush you have on them, because I was getting frustrated to see you all desesperate to get their attention..."

"Oh, you mean desesperate like you are when Guinevere is in your vicinity...?"

The words flew out of his mouth before he had time to stop them. Arthur looked at Merlin with raised eyebrows, as if saying 'oh, are we really doing that now...?'. Merlin started taking small steps backward, before breaking into a full sprint with Arthur chasing after him...

DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE OR REPOST MY WRITINGS!

[jawz]

caretaking my mom can be incredibly difficult on an emotional level mostly bc she sometimes gets really cruel and insults me on the deepest levels she can LOL but the last two days were honestly amazing… i think i’m actually gonna be able to heal the trauma of the thanksgiving 11 years ago when she split into religious delusions and did a number of deeply abusive things i wont list here, told me i wasnt her child and i was satan’s now, left the apartment and blocked my phone number for a week and i had no idea when she would return (at some points i worried she never would)… that helped stoke the stupidest most waste-of-time fear of abandonment & it fucks with me so much still

BUT for the first time since 2013 it was just us two on thanksgiving (we didnt celebrate it most years or we were with extended family) and we had such a good day. it’s so hard with her. i cut her a lot of slack because she’s literally dying, idrc what she says to me at this point, it only hurts in the moment now somehow… afterwards it disappears because it doesn’t fucking matter, only the love i have for her matters. any hurt she sends my way i will receive with love and respond with love. but anyway WE actually have now started paving over that old pain (which traumatized her too i know) and i have something to remember now going forward each late november, not just pain and fear and confusion and shame. ❣️

this is our last winter holidays together, in all likelihood. i’m lucky she even wants me around, there were so many times she wanted nothing to do with me lol. we’re seriously closer than we’ve ever been, she does compliment me too, and we eat weed gummies and watch tv for hours and just laugh, smoke cigarettes out the patio door cause its 5 degrees outside… she trusts me to confide in about how weird it is to have parts of your body dying but still be walking around alive. ALS is such a weird disease. i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

[sludgekludge]

What's your thoughts on Octavia?

she sure does exist

ok real talk, she's inoffensive, but not really a character archetype i care for, the moody goth teenager. i don't hate her though and her situation strikes a chord. brandon (i believe? correct me if im wrong) calling her a cockblocking bitch or whatever was like. kind of insane and offputting. she's in a really sad situation with a shitty dad but the narrative is so determined to defend stolas over everything and now she's in the wrong for being upset over it? gonna use this to jump off and ramble about stolas abandoning his daughter at every turn because i don't really have much to say about via on her own and i've wanted to complain about this like, forever

like 'stolas is a good dad!' when he:

actively has an open affair in front of her that seems to have kickstarted constant fighting between her parents. stolas does not seem to comfort or communicate with octavia over this whatsoever until she literally runs off crying over it in loo-loo land. even then, he's still fixated on specifically blitz protecting him. go look after your fucking daughter instead of whining about the bodyguard you don't need, dude.

tangentially, invites his affair partner (a stranger that is playing a part in actively disrupting octavia's life and relationship with her father) to what is meant to be a daddy-daughter day (ignores the fact she's not having a good time and then acts surprised when she tells him such) and flirts with him sexually in front of his (underage) daughter. seems to ignore octavia's worsening mood in favour of blitz until the aforementioned tears. has little to say for himself when confronted but assures her he won't abandon her. lol. lmao, even.

promptly forgets about something important to her and abandons her to once again in a foreign place to have sexual banter with his affair partner. is an all-powerful demon who could've pulled blitz away from funny sitcom shenanigans at any point to go look for octavia, but has to be reminded by blitz (sexily, for some reason) that they should go look for their daughters after the sitcom shit is cut short by accident. maybe via can't exactly be killed or hurt but literally anything else could've happened to her while she, a presumably quite sheltered teenager, was running around the human world for the first time by herself. she has to get a pep talk from a stranger (the daughter of her fathers affair partner, by the way) about how her dad might be a fuckup but totally loves her, despite having just spent the last afternoon fawning over blitz instead of worrying about octavia. this stranger is also the only adult bothering to look for her in any capacity. octavia would have spent the entire afternoon lost and alone if it weren't for loona being the only one to give a shit.

'what about my daughter', noticeably just kind of goes home with blitz after everything in mastermind and makes no effort to even call or text her. 'erm he was probably traumatised and exhausted-' literally everyone was just under the impression blitz was going to die. i'm sure they're all traumatised and exhausted. stolas lost his powers and his stupid ass house for a little bit, not even forever, over an affair he actively exploited a power dynamic to consciously have, not caring about how it effected his daughter, or the potential future consequences thereof. hitting the impeccable 'i wont abandon you my daughter who i definitely care about' then instantly forgetting she exists 2 seconds later because he of a hole he dug for himself. the point is he once again prioritises blitz over via. was it that easy to forget about her?

tangentially, if you want to believe that stella is an abusive mother (we haven't seen it in the show but i wouldn't be surprised if they wanted you to perceive it that way) then stolas is doing all of this while allowing stella to have octavia. alone, might i add.

via is objectively right to worry stolas is going to abandon her for blitz because he Does. she doesn't appeal to me as a character persay but her situation is miserable enough that i can't bring myself to really dislike her

[satureja13]

Beltane - Part 4 It all starts -> here (incl prequel)

The Boys spend a wonderful day together and it was so good to see Noxee again (and even Greg ;) They'd been on their own in the Otherworld (only with Arturo from time to time) for months now. Time for the fireworks and 'traditional' (says Greg) Beltane Canons before Ji Ho's spell fades!

Noxee looks so beautiful. (The way Greg looks at her <3)

And then the 'traditional' Beltane Fire broke out! (We also had a fire at Beltane last year...) The whole Beltane 2023 episodes are -> here

Greg to Jack: "Is this your fault?" Jack: "What? No!" (of course it is -.-)

The spell faded slowly and it's time to part. Greg, Jeb, Kiyoshi and Vlad will stay here, at Hotel Elvis, and Noxee, Jack and Saiwa will spend the night at the Campeggio (campsite), where the Boys had spent their last summer holidays. Before they left, Vlad went over to them to charge the Bond. He felt that Ji Ho will need more than the usual today because he is so exhausted from the ride and the spell. But he wasn't with the others.

Vlad: "Where is he?"

Saiwa: "We brought him to your room. He's too tired to make it all the way up to the campeggio. You will care for him. Properly." Vlad: "What? I told you I wont go any further with him! The spell is still affecting me. If I have to be near him, alone with him - I am not that strong. When he tries to kiss me again..." Saiwa: "He's your bonded and you already did anything imaginable with him! Ji Ho did everything so we can spend this day together! You know he's the most sensible of us and how much he suffers because we are apart from each other! We are going to do our best to be together again with the help from Tiny Can and the Therapy Game and until then, Ji Ho's well-being is your concern!"

Saiwa: "Have a good night!" Vlad to Jack: "Stay with us!" Jack chuckles: "Vlad. I love you - but I won't do that. He needs you." Saiwa: "Let's go, Jack!"

Vlad sighed and went upstairs to their room. He refuses to get physical with Ji Ho as long as he is not able to love him. But Vlad also knows how much Ji Ho longs for physical intimacy with him. When Vlad entered the room, he found Ji Ho collapsed on the floor. He was so exhausted, he must have been trying to take a shower to hydrate but it wasn't enough. They need to charge the bond. Thoroughly.

Ji Ho knows that Vlad is only reluctantly charging the Bond and refuses any interaction that involves anything romantic until he's able to love him.

Vlad approached Ji Ho to embrace him to charge the Bond. Ji Ho: "Vlad. This won't be enough - I tried everything to avoid it but I..." Vlad: "Don't worry. Come."

Ji Ho: "Forgive me." Vlad: "Shh."

It's the same room where Jeb and Sai spent their second date!

Ji Ho: "I will be yours, I promise." Vlad: "I know. Don't worry. Do whatever is necessary for you to heal. I will be fine." Ji Ho: "Wait for me." Vlad: "Always." (They are speaking of Ji Ho's ingame wedding with Caleb.)

'How many beautiful baths together and alter in the night Close, close I shiver a bit Don't try to deny that tonight, if I insist I will have you So small and fragile you seem to me and I'm making a mistake

So small next to me. And fragile, or not. But you're more strong than I am'

'Quanti bagni mozzafiato insieme e poi di sera vicino vicino a me tremi un pò Non cercare di negare che stasera magari se insisto io ti avrò.

Così piccola e fragile mi sembri tu e sto sbagliando di più. Così piccola accanto a me e fragile o no ma in fondo sei molto più forte di me!'

Piccola e Fragile - Drupi

Outtakes

Here they laughed together <3

Until Ji Ho got a message from Leander ^^'

No festival without chaos...

Them :3

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest Current Chapter: 🕹️ 'The One' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28