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hgfictionwriter · 1 month ago

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First Impressions: Part two

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Okay, so maybe Jessie isn't as shallow or one-dimensional as you thought. You decided to give her a chance, but first impressions and long-standing reputations can be hard to simply forget about. Can you let your insecurities go and can she prove that she's serious about you?

Warnings: Smut. Edging. Cunnilingus. Fingering. Language.

A/N: Part two! The rehabilitation of Player Jessie lol. It's a bit long, but there is smut, I swear.

“Hey Beautiful. How’s your day going?”

You glanced up from your phone and bit back a smile. You idly glanced around the library, clearing your throat before resettling on your phone and typing out a reply.

“Texting me when you’re on the road? You must be bored.”

“Day’s going well. Just at the library right now.”

“What? Without me?! I feel betrayed jk”

“I’m not bored. Just missing my study buddy turned…girlfriend?”

Your posture straightened and your eyes narrowed as you read her message.

“Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?”

"Yeah?"

"Lol why the question mark! You're either asking me out or you're not."

"I am."

"Wow."

"What?! What was wrong with that? Lol. I thought it was smooth."

"Your inexperience is showing, Fleming."

“Well that’s a first.”

You rolled your eyes. When you glanced back down you saw she was typing.

“You said you didn’t want casual. And we've had some great dates. And I don't want to seem too over-confident, but I think I've coaxed you along from tolerating me to perhaps even enjoying my company. Periodically lol. So, I’m just following through.”

You bit your lip and your cheeks ached from holding back a full blown smile. Your head buzzed as you reread her message.

If there was a theme in your dynamic, it was that you had to give a hard time. Even in this situation.

"Enjoying your company? Let's not get carried away, now. I mean, just because we text all day, have hot make-out sessions, say sweet, romantic things to each other and it took us an hour and a half to say 'goodnight' yesterday, doesn't mean anything. So presumptuous of you."

"Ugh. You're right. I've misread the signs. My bad."

"But seriously - you haven't answered. And I'm actually getting nervous. Come on, Y/L/N. You'll either be my girlfriend or you won't 😛"

You smirked. You appreciated how easily you two bantered and this was no exception.

A few weeks had passed since that night in the hallway. Things escalated quickly, honestly. Suddenly there was this emotional intimacy that was rapidly evolving between you two and it just felt so natural. And Jessie, despite everything you would've originally expected, had been sweet, authentic, and steady.

The opportunity to step away and stop yourself from catching feelings was long over. Dangerous territory? You were in the thick of it. If you were going to turn back, now was the time.

"Yes. I'll be your girlfriend."

"That just 1000% made my day. My week. Month. More!"

You rubbed your face in elated disbelief and typed out a reply.

"Well. If you keep it up, my feelings for you might progress from tolerating, to enjoying to...who knows."

"Shit. I honest to God want to turn around and come back. And I never want to miss camps."

"I seriously miss you."

Giddy. You felt fucking giddy and you couldn't believe it.

"I miss you too. Which is fucking crazy since I saw you less than 24 hours ago."

"Tell me about it lol."

"I'll be here when you get back."

“Better be lol. And until then. Don’t let some other nerdy athlete charm you.”

You audibly laughed, cutting it short as it sounded through the quiet space.

“Yeah. And you keep your little fan club at bay while you’re away, okay?”

“Easy. I’ll text you after we're done for the day, okay? Happy studying!”

You couldn’t believe what was going on. It was so unexpected that you still had to remind yourself of the events that took place to get here. It was the only way to reconcile the fact that you were sitting here texting with Jessie Fleming. Flirting with Jessie Fleming. Dating Jessie Fleming. Someone who was Bad News; the type to break your heart and leave you longing.

Yet, someone who you - maybe - had all wrong.

Someone you, in fact, very much, were swooning over.

-------

You were reading the slide on screen and listening to the professor when suddenly Jessie nudged you with her elbow.

She had her eyes trained forward but shifted her laptop, angling it towards you. A smirk began to tug at the corner of her mouth and she gave you a brief, cursory glance. You looked down at her screen to see she'd selected some text in her notes.

"You look amazing. Stop distracting me."

You nearly blew a raspberry, managing to suppress it into a vague scoff. You rolled your eyes as you faced forward once more, but felt a blush burning on your cheeks. You glanced back at her to see her smiling widely at you now. She returned her attention to her laptop and typed out a new sentence.

"You know you're beautiful. You don't need to be shy about it."

You shook your head affectionately and typed out a reply before turning your screen slightly towards her. Your posture stiffened as she placed a hand on the edge of your seat to lean in to read.

"You're out of control. And who's distracting who here, huh? lol"

She retracted her hand to start typing and you missed it immediately. When she was done typing you leaned over, placing a hand directly on her thigh as you read the message.

"You are distracting me. You = distracting and gorgeous."

You silently snickered with another shake of your head.

"Omfg. You're ridiculous."

She glanced down at your hand purposefully.

"Especially now."

You gave her a look somewhere between chiding and teasing. She shot you another smirk and typed further.

"Don't get me wrong. I like it."

"Care to go on a little adventure with me after class?"

You weren't going to say 'no'. She knew it. You knew it. And sure enough, after class she led you by the hand to another building across campus until you were in an abandoned stairwell. You assumed you were going to continue on elsewhere, but learned otherwise when she gently pushed you against the wall with a charming smile and a slow kiss.

You giggled into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around the back of her shoulders.

"You take me to the nicest places," you teased.

"Both our roommates are in, so privacy is a tough commodity to come by," she replied with a chuckle as she began to kiss her way down your neck. It took every effort not to gasp. "You look gorgeous all the time, but I especially love when you wear your hair up. I couldn't stop staring at your neck - all I could think about was kissing it."

Goosebumps erupted across your skin as her warm breath caressed you, her lips explored and you could feel just the slightest, teasing touch of her tongue on your neck.

While the emotional barriers you'd tried to put up had proven entirely fruitless and ineffective, you'd done a much better job of withholding physical boundaries.

Given your concerns going into this relationship, you'd told yourself that you wanted to very strongly establish an emotional foundation with Jessie before being physically intimate. So even though you would've probably already slept with someone by this point, and Jessie most certainly would've too, you'd never allowed the two of you to go further than a heavy and hot make-out session.

You wanted her to work for it. To earn it. And to your surprise, she didn't seem deterred in the least. She'd been respectful and patient. Well, mostly patient. You knew she was raring to go, but any time you pumped the brakes she backed off.

Your hands were running through her hair and you two were - consciously or not - rocking your hips against one another's as she kissed and lightly sucked on your neck and her hands began to inch under your top. Your core was throbbing with need already.

"What if someone comes by?" You managed to say, eyes falling shut at the sensations she was sending through your body.

"No one ever comes here. Don't worry," she responded easily.

Your eyes fluttered opened, a frown slowly forming across your forehead. The lightness and excitement that had been coursing through your veins a moment before was immediately replaced with a heavy pit in your stomach.

You pulled back, slowly dropping your hands away from her head to her waist and pushing gently. She extended her neck, working to keep her lips in contact with your neck before eventually relenting with a confused look and allowing herself to be pushed back.

"I should probably go," you said, tone admittedly a bit flat as you failed to hold eye contact with her while you smoothed out your clothes.

"Wh-huh?" She asked, blatantly puzzled by your change in demeanor. "What's wrong?"

You shook your head subtly and began to walk away. You were deeply tempted to not reply at all or to just deflect, but instead you replied with, "Look. I'm not going to be just some other girl you fuck in a stairwell between classes, okay?"

You had your back to her and were pushing the door open so you missed whatever physical reaction she had, but her perturbed, "Are you serious right now?" rang loud in your ears.

You continued to walk outside, her footsteps close behind you and you turned around folding your arms against yourself.

"Yeah. I am," you told her almost wearily. You could see the frustration on her face and she laughed in disbelief.

"What," you challenged. "Are you going to tell me you haven't brought other girls here? Made out with them there? Fucked them even?"

Despite her irritation, she averted her gaze, scoffing lightly and eventually offering an exaggerated shrug.

"And if I did?"

You shook your head, turning away slightly with a huff. She gave an empty laugh.

"Would you rather I lie? 'No, baby, you're the only one ever!'" She finished mockingly.

"What the fuck, Jess," you retorted, voice rising slightly as you narrowed your eyes at her. "You don't need to be an asshole about it." Your face felt hot with anger, but suddenly it shifted and you knew if you weren't careful you were going to start crying. "I just don't want to be treated the same as all the others." You scowled, pushing back further emotion, "If what you say is true and things are different with me."

She exhaled heavily, dropping her gaze and stretching out her fingers and opening her palms as a way to calm herself. She took a breath and lifted her head to meet your eyes once more, still speaking tersely, but calmer than you'd been.

"That's why I'm frustrated," she said. "You are very different and I feel very different about you. For you. And I do treat you differently! Do you think I was texting those girls all day? Telling them I miss them. Planning dates. Telling them all my hopes and fears; asking them about theirs? Bringing them to hang out with my friends? And I sure as shit didn't ask them to be my girlfriend."

A wave of guilt rushed over you. Okay, maybe you were still making a sweeping generalization, but you still felt the way you did.

"I'm sorry," you relented slightly, but went on. "I see what you're saying. And I'm trying. But I still can't help it sometimes. I-I don't know. I know you're not who I originally thought you were. But I guess a part of me is still scared. I," you paused, words getting caught in your throat, "I really like you, Jess. And - moments like this make me terrified that I'm just going to get left behind like one of your other girls."

Jessie sighed quietly, dropping her gaze once more as she kicked distractedly at the sidewalk. When she looked back up her eyes were sad, but you could still see the warmth behind them.

"I don't know what to do," she said helplessly. "I can't change the past. I want you to feel confident in us. In me. But I can't undo anything from before. I'm trying to be clear and direct about how important you are to me. I really like you too, and I just wish I knew how to get you to trust me."

You exhaled, your own frustration at your feelings seeping in. "It's not that I don't trust you. I mean, I guess that's hard to believe, but that's really not what's going on," you insisted. "And I understand that you can't change anything from the past. And you shouldn't have to. That's just something I need to get over. It's really just...I don't want to be the same as the other girls."

She watched you quietly as she contemplated. She took a couple of steps towards you, closing the gap and tentatively taking your hands in hers.

"I promise you you're not. And I understand that my reputation has made trust a bit more difficult. But, I really, really need you to know that this - and you - are special to me." She nodded as she continued. "You're right - I probably shouldn't have brought you to the same spot I brought other girls. Especially given," she looked away briefly, "what I'd do with them there. I can see now that was not the wisest. I really wasn't thinking that way - I just wanted to be alone with you and knew we could be there."

You sighed softly and removed your hands from hers to wrap them around her back, pulling her into a hug. She squeezed you tightly and kissed the side of your head.

"Thank you. I know you didn't mean anything negative. I just...I got in my head. But, yeah, if you can try to be more mindful of things like that, I'll work on not reacting so impulsively."

"Deal," she chuckled. She pulled back enough for you to see the way she cocked an eyebrow at you playfully. You weren't sure where she was going with this, but you were grateful for the sudden levity and the forgiveness it implied. "And for the record, it's not just all sunshine and rainbows on my end either, you know." She smirked at you and continued.

"Despite my bravado, there's a certain level of insecurity that comes with having the history I do and now meeting this incredible woman and wanting something serious and long-term with her. A no-strings-attached lifestyle is easy breezy - you don't get invested and you don't get hurt. But with you? I don't want to disappoint you. And you can definitely hurt me. I'm not used to that."

You searched her face as she finished speaking and warmth radiated throughout your chest. You kissed her and another wave of affection rushed through you as she squeezed you securely against her.

"I didn't mean to disrespect you at all. I'm really sorry," she said quietly as your kiss ended and she tucked her head against yours.

You pulled back to look at her. Her dark eyes were soft and shimmering and you laid a single kiss on her lips.

"Come with me," you said as you took her by the hand and led her back to the stairwell. You bit back a laugh at the curious smirk on her face as she allowed you to maneuver her against the wall. You smiled as her eyes slowly fell shut as you leaned in to kiss her.

"Guess this means you aren't too mad at me?" She muttered jokingly into the kiss. A crooked grin crossed your lips as you gently grasped her chin and had her meet your gaze.

"You're forgiven," you said with teasing benevolence before arching an eyebrow. "But don't push your luck." She chuckled and shook her head with a smile.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

You grinned as you engaged her a deep, slow kiss, this time your hands sneaking under her shirt and splaying out across her abs. A spark of satisfaction flared and you had to hold back a fuller smile as you felt her breath hitch and the faintest moan escaped her throat.

"I like you so much," you whispered as you began to trail kisses down her neck, noting the way her fingers dug into your waist.

"I like you a lot too," she said with a breathy laugh. You fought back a grin as you pressed your thigh between hers and ground up into her.

"Oh shit," she said, still breathless, another laugh in awe. You got the impression the tables weren't typically turned on her like this. You continued, your hand now toying with the button on her pants. She let out another soft moan. "Fuck, you're getting me so hot."

You smiled smugly as you nipped at her neck.

"Good," you said simply as you pulled back entirely, breaking off all contact and loving how her hands stretched out to follow you and only falling away as you stepped out of reach.

You saw the tiniest, cutest frown form across her forehead as her eyes fluttered open in confusion.

"Call me later?" You asked sweetly with a flirtatious shrug, already turning on your heel and heading for the door.

"Wait, what?" She called after you, her confusion evident in her voice.

You stepped through the door, but turned back to give her an innocent smile. She stared after you like a lost puppy. "We're even now. Call me later, baby."

She belatedly opened her mouth to speak, but you simply blew her a kiss and let the door fall shut.

And call you she did. In fact, when you woke up the next morning you had a text from her in the middle of the night.

"I can't even sleep because I'm still thinking about the stairwell. Nobody's ever made me feel like this. I feel like I'm drunk on you lol. I know that's stupid. But. I can't stop thinking about you."

-----------

You slung your bag over your shoulder and scrolled through your phone as you began to exit your class. You walked head down into the masses of students until someone brushed against your arm and fell into step with you.

"How was class?"

You frowned, puzzled momentarily until your brain caught up and a smile crossed your face at who it was.

"Well hello," you greeted as you gently pushed your shoulder into her, jostling her.

"Hey baby," she greeted with a winning smile as she held out a coffee for you.

"Now this is service," you teased as you took it.

"Only the best for my girl," she said with a wink.

"Is your class cancelled or something?" You asked, knowing her next class was in an entirely different building across campus.

"No, but my last one got out early. Thought I'd surprise you with a coffee," she said, obviously very pleased with herself.

"You're the sweetest," you said as you leaned over mid-step to kiss her cheek. She smiled.

"Don't tell anyone."

You rolled your eyes fondly. "Yeah, everyone thinks you're such a jerk."

"You did," she quipped.

"I didn't think you were a jerk," you responded haughtily. "Just a thoughtless womanizer," you chuckled.

"Oh, well thank you for clarifying," she replied dryly with an eye roll of her own as she laced her fingers with yours. "Well now that you know I'm not a total deviant, want to come out for drinks tonight? Mia's back so we're all getting together."

"Sure," you responded lightly as you gave her hand a squeeze.

"Okay, great," she said before leaning over and kissing your cheek before stepping away, walking backwards towards another hall. "See you tonight." She gave you another wink. "Don't miss me too much until then."

That evening you were in a crowded dorm room, solo cup in hand, the bass of some song underlining conversations throughout the space. Mia stood across from you.

"Glad I got a chance to chat with you more. I knew I had to get to know you better because you have got our girl swooning," she teased with a smirk.

"Oh my gosh, not at all," you dismissed though you averted your gaze and felt a blush coming on. Mia laughed heartily and cocked an eyebrow.

"No, no. I've never seen Jess like this before. She used to make fun of other girls for being all lovesick, but now she's even worse than them. Though don't tell her that," she laughed, "she thinks she's being all nonchalant and cool about it."

Your head buzzed with excitement over Mia's words. The extra validation cemented your growing confidence in how significant this connection really was to Jessie. You couldn't help but direct your gaze away from Mia in search of the girl in question. You caught her eye across the room and flashed a smile with a quick wink. You watched as she excused herself from her conversation and began to weave through the crowd.

"Hey, you good?" She asked quietly as she approached, laying a hand on your arm as she kissed your temple. You gave her a quiet smile, holding her gaze.

"Yeah, I'm good."

You didn't think you held her eye contact that long, but your attention and Jessie's was drawn towards Mia as she laughed. She shook her head in amusement.

"Okay, later lovebirds," she deadpanned as she held up her drink in a 'cheers' and walked away.

"I trust Mia was treating you well?" Jessie asked as her eyes followed Mia momentarily while chuckling.

"Of course," you replied with a cheeky grin. "She took great care of me."

"Hopefully not too great," she teased. Your jaw dropped, scandalized though you laughed.

"You're not serious. You. Jessie Fleming. Get jealous?" You asked, eyes bright with amusement as you felt a fluttering in your stomach.

Jessie made a face and laughed, though you could easily see the way her cheeks grew flush. She eventually shrugged.

"Hey, what can I say? I know my teammates are awesome and you're an incredible girl, you can have your pick."

You rolled your eyes. "You're being silly," you said as you gave her an affectionate smile. She held up her hands with charming smirk.

"Just saying. I'm not taking what we have for granted. You don't have to pick me."

You 'tsked' her, arms folded. "Well. I do," you replied, shoulder back and head held high. "So you can relax."

Jessie leaned in, placing a hand on your waist as she kissed your cheek. Her breath tickled your skin. "Well, consider me beyond pleased."

You held her gaze again. Suddenly, there were too many people around. You were overwhelmed with a need to be close to her. Alone with her.

"How's your night going?" You asked, spurring a curious frown from her.

"Fine? Good?" She answered with a soft laugh. "Yours?"

You shrugged lightly. "Nice." You cocked your head as you glanced away purposefully. "Could be better."

"Oh?" She asked. "How so?

You reached out and smoothed out the shoulder of her shirt before playing with the collar.

"It's just starting to feel a little crowded in here," you said with flippant lament. You sighed quietly, but in exaggeration as she processed your words. She cracked a smile.

"Yeah? Is that so?" She asked, chin tilting up slightly as she studied you. She glanced towards the door. "I mean, we could always go."

"Oh I wouldn't want to force you to leave," you relayed sweetly and she gave you a wicked grin.

"Yeah, you're really forcing my hand here," she said flatly. You looked her up and down with a smirk of your own.

"I can find some other things for your hand to do."

Her eyes grew wide for a moment and her mouth fell open at your brazen comment. She eventually closed her mouth, now giving you a less than subtle once over.

"It's not nice to tease," she warned.

"Who's teasing?" You asked innocently while locking eyes with her.

She puffed her cheeks out in an exhale, gaze flitting across the room with an appreciative shake of her head that left you holding back a smug smile. She reached out to lace her fingers with yours, her thumb teasing the palm of your hand.

"Well, are you going to let me take you home or what?" She whispered. You raised both eyebrows at her and clicked your tongue.

"I believe you'll be coming home with me," you retorted playfully. "If anyone's going to be burdened with the walk of shame, it's going to be you." You shrugged. "This time anyway."

She laughed, loud enough that it even attracted the attention of couple of people in adjacent conversations. She sniffed with a residual chuckle and nodded. "Sure. I'll shoulder that responsibility."

On the walk to your building she asked if you should stop at her room to grab, any, you know, supplies. You didn't break your pace at all and simply responded with, "No. I want you now."

She grinned like a Cheshire cat, placing a hand on the small of your back and increased her strides, pulling you along too. "Well then let's not waste any more time."

You'd texted your roommate on the way back and was grateful to see she'd vacated the premises by the time you stepped inside. You'd given her space many times, so it was her turn to return the favour.

You'd barely closed the door when a lighthearted yelp escaped your throat as Jessie spun you around and lifted you off the ground, pressing your back against the door. Her lips immediately latched onto your neck as your arms and legs wrapped around her.

"Fuck, you have no idea how much I've wanted you," she breathed into your neck as she nipped and sucked at the skin there harder than she'd ever done before and it immediately had your core pulsing.

Something between a gasp and a moan left your mouth as you ran one hand through her hair, pressing her mouth further against your neck and she moaned into you while digging her fingers harder into the underside of your thighs.

Both of you were too hungry to take your time, so it wasn't long before she carried you to the bed, lips still locked as she laid you down.

Your hands were under her shirt and she chuckled as she sat up and took it off, tossing it carelessly to the floor.

"Now you," she said with a lustful grin as her hands wandered below your shirt and pushed it upwards. You arched your back off the bed and she reached around to help support you while she peeled your shirt off with her other hand. She was still discarding the garment when she leaned down to begin laying teasing kisses down your chest to your bra. Her hand was on the clasp of your bra and you chuckled as she unclasped it with ease, drawing the straps down off of your shoulders with her teeth.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," she said in awe as she sat back again to take in your half-naked image in the dim of the room.

A small cry left your lips as she dipped her head back down and drew one of your nipples into her mouth, her teeth grazing as she released it before latching on again and swirling her tongue around the hardened nipple. You set both hands on the back of her head, fingers partially digging into her scalp in appreciation as she attentively explored you.

She switched nipples and her hand caressed up the outside of your thigh and grabbed your ass through your jeans, kneading firmly and hungrily as she moaned into your breast.

You grasped her other hand and guided it between your bodies, your own hand undoing the button of your jeans.

“You’re sure?” She asked, pausing despite your invitation. You rolled your hips up into her waiting hand and continued to guide her.

She took over, unzipping and pushing her hand down towards your core. Her fingers pressed firmly across your folds through the fabric of your underwear. Your jaw fell as her fingers indirectly grazed your clit.

She moaned. "I can already feel how wet you are," she said in wonder and her tone assured you she was more than pleased by this.

She pushed your panties aside, her fingers caressing through your slick folds for the first time and you immediately groaned in pleasure and rolled your hips up into her eager hand.

"You feel so fucking amazing already," she said, head lolling to the side momentarily before she began kissing her way down your torso. You tried not to whine as she removed her hand long enough to remove your jeans.

"You're going to get sick of me telling you how gorgeous you are," she said as she nipped at your underwear, tugging them down teasingly with her teeth. She hooked her fingers into the band but you stopped her temporarily.

"I want your clothes off, too," you told her in a way that left no room for debate. She snickered before pushing herself up off of you and shimmying off her clothes.

"Anything for you," she joked as she returned her attention to you, her lips laying fleeting kisses along the crease between your thighs and core. You heard her chuckle as your legs grew restless, rubbing against the sheets. She reached up and rubbed teasing circles around your nub through your panties.

"Please," you said simply.

"Please what?" She asked innocently and you could hear the smile in her voice before her tongue made contact with your skin, eliciting a gasp out of you.

You writhed beneath her. Even though this was brand new territory for you two, you felt safe expressing yourself.

"I need you," you answered, trusting that it would be well received and not feeling embarrassed or self-conscious in your saying so.

You heard a satisfied grunt from her and you drew your legs back eager to help her remove your panties. You bit your lower lip at the tender kiss she planted on your hip bone.

She began to kiss her way down your mound and although you really just wanted her to fuck you, to feel her fingers inside of you, you figured you'd waited this long, might as well let her set the pace.

Her lips brushed along your folds as she settled herself between your legs and that was enough to send a pulse through your core, but you absolutely throbbed as her fingers dug into the tops of your thighs and she pulled herself closer with an eager moan.

You were honestly contemplating begging her to not tease you any longer when her tongue began to trail up and down between your folds, your back bucking off the bed at the sudden sensations coursing through you.

You heard a muffled laugh from between your legs but before you could protest she began lapping up juices that were surely dripping from your core. Despite your intentions your back arched once more and you gripped the sheets tightly in her hands.

"Don't worry, baby," she said, "I'll take good care of you."

You fleetingly considered scolding her for her bravado, but she flicked her tongue upwards and over your clit before latching onto it with her mouth and sucking in a rhythm that urged your hips to roll up into her face further.

You could feel her smiling into you and she was entirely undeterred by your bucking and moving, confidently and easily keeping her mouth centered on you wherever your body took you.

She sucked, licked, and nipped at you in such a skilled way you'd never experienced before. You'd thought you'd had good sex before; evidently you were wrong.

To top it off, the way she moaned and chased you up the bed with a blatant hunger made you feel wanted and desired in a way you'd never felt before either. The way she devoured you, muffled moans sending pleasurable vibrations through your core, head rocking into you and lapping at you as though you were the most delicious thing she'd had made you feel like she'd never wanted anything more.

And when she reached out and laced her fingers of one hand with yours? Your heart melted.

It was blissful in so many ways.

You hadn't even realized she'd removed her other hand from your thigh when you felt her tease your entrance with a finger. A shuddering moan fell from your lips as she gently dipped a digit inside. You threw your head back into the mattress, back arching all over again as she began slipping a second finger inside, stretching you out deliciously as she continued to flick her tongue across your clit.

Her fingers felt just as good inside of you as you'd imagined and before you knew it she was curling her fingers up against your g-spot. You let out a low moan and your hips began rocking against her with greater fervour. She gave your hand a squeeze and you just held on for dear life, clutching her hand as if it was the only anchor holding you here. You reached down with your free hand and gripped her hair, pulling another pleased noise from her.

The pressure building between your core reached a tipping point. You don't even know how many strokes she'd taken - not many at all - when your cries and whimpers got caught in your throat, mouth drawn into a silent 'o' as your hips began to jerk against her as the tension deep inside of you burst. Your sounds eventually caught up with you as several seconds later you finally mustered a cry as you were already well soaking her face.

She stayed with you the whole time, continuing to help you ride out your orgasm and slowing her motions as you gradually came down.

As you fell back into the bed, your limbs and entire body felt so heavy. It's not like you two had been at it for all that long, but you felt so spent. Even as she began to tenderly kiss her way up your body, you couldn't muster up the energy to caress or hold her. You couldn't even open your eyes.

"You are so incredibly beautiful," she whispered into your ear as she settled herself against you and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close.

You still couldn't make a noise or embrace her, you simply let her pull you against her.

"You're incredible. And that was so amazing. I-," she paused. "You're so sexy. All of that is going to be engrained in my mind for a long, long time."

You let your head fall to the side and against hers. She chuckled and kissed your forehead and you became aware of how she was gently thumbing your shoulder as she held you.

"Fuck," you eventually said. You heard her hold back a laugh and you finally opened your eyes to look at her. Her eyes were bright and shimmering as she looked down at you. A lazy, crooked smile crossed your lips as you reached up and pushed her face away playfully. "You are way too pleased with yourself right now," you laughed.

"I'm not!" She protested though she laughed. "I'm just- I'm really happy," she eventually said.

"Yeah?" You chuckled as you pulled her closer and she gladly obliged. You tucked your head under her chin. "Well that makes two of us," you laughed and she kissed the top of your head. You sighed contentedly. "Well now I know what all the fuss is about."

Your eyes opened as you felt her stiffen slightly. She shifted, clearing her throat quietly.

"Hey," was all she said, probably meant to be teasing or warning, but sounding sad instead.

You pulled back to look at her. It was true, the bright, warm smile she'd worn was now faint as she looked back at you. You kissed her softly.

"I'm sorry. I thought it was a funny joke. Not appropriate," you said.

"I just want it to be about us," she said quietly as her gaze fell as she drew small, distracted designs on your collarbone with her finger.

"I know," you agreed in the same tone as you placed a hand on hers and caressed the back of it with your thumb. She kissed your cheek. "Me too. I just - you're good. Extraordinarily good. And, well, the fact fleeting crosses my mind that, you know, how do you get so good? Well, practice makes perfect. So..."

Jessie huffed inaudibly, but you felt the air tickle your skin.

"I know we talked about this," you rushed on. "And I'm not upset. Honestly." You chuckled, hoping to lighten things. "I mean, I'm reaping the benefits here." She cracked a faint smirk, but not exactly what you hoped to see. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's okay," she relented as she kissed your cheek once more with a soft sigh. "Just as long as you know you're the only one I want."

You nodded, but she must not have been convinced because she carried on.

"Because, if it was anyone else, I would've been down the stairs and out of the building by now. And," she punctuated, "-not that I should say anything- but, I typically don't get undressed. I'm not looking for intimacy or anything like that. But, I want that with you."

You held a hand up to her cheek and ran your thumb softly against her cheekbone.

"And? Do you have that with me?"

She nodded, leaning her head into your palm.

"Yeah. And it's," she trailed off, her gaze falling briefly as she smirked at herself. She looked up at you again. "It's really great."

You held her gaze and inhaled. Your head was swimming with all sorts of thoughts and feelings. A particular set of words sat on the tip of your tongue. She must've noticed.

"What?" She asked with a tender smile. You considered dismissing it, but instead you just gave a gentle shake of your head.

"I'm falling very hard for you, Jessie Fleming."

Her eyes lit up and you watched as she searched yours. In this moment, this woman who was all charm and confidence looked exceedingly vulnerable.

"That's not funny to joke about," she eventually said with a forced smirk and a single, faint laugh.

"Who says I'm joking?" You asked with a soft laugh.

Realization settled in her and she shifted so she was slightly more on top of you.

"Don't joke," she repeated. You held her gaze, laughing quietly again.

"I'm not."

She rolled you fully onto your back again so she was on top of you. Her knee nudged your legs apart and it any other reality you would've been embarrassed at how your core immediately throbbed.

She looked down at you, eyes different than any way you'd seen them before. Darker somehow. But it didn't scare you. It made you want her more.

"You're everything I wanted," she said. "And I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that first day in class." She subtly began to rock against you and your hands began to wander along her back.

"Everybody told me what this was supposed to feel like, but it just never clicked for me before. At all. But," she took a short, stuttered breath as she continued to grind against you and her hand began to travel down your torso. "You have me. You're on my mind all the time. Any time I'm away from you, I'm just reliving past conversations and moment or dreaming up new ones."

She shook her head in mild disbelief. "I've never felt this way," she said as her hand settled between your legs. You were certain there was no way she couldn't feel the heat radiating off of you. And somehow, with every declaration from her you grew wetter and wetter.

"Me neither," you told her. She smiled and ran two fingers through your folds to then tease your entrance - immediately confirming how wet you were - her eyes lit up and her smile turned into a grin.

"You are so gorgeous. And so fucking amazing," she told you in reverie.

Your exhale was unsteady as your center throbbed in want. "Jess," you said; panted even. "I need you."

A sharp gasp escaped you as she slowly sunk two fingers inside of you. Your fingers dug into her skin at how amazing it felt to be filled up by her again. When you opened your eyes once more she was still watching you intently.

"You feel so fucking good," she said, a smirk tugging at her lips. "Mm," she glanced down, slowly drawing her fingers out until they rest at your entrance before pushing in again more swiftly. "So fucking tight."

"Jesus Christ," you said as your hands came to her arms and you clutched them while your head rolled back into the pillow.

"I want you cumming all over my fingers," she told you with quiet assuredness. "Not just tonight. Any and every fucking night you'll let me," she said as she tucked her head down and began to kiss your neck, drawing a shuddering whimper out of you.

"Oh Jess," you moaned as your hips ground into her waiting hand. A shiver ran through you as she breathed against your neck and nipped at you.

"My name sounds so good coming out of your mouth," she praised.

If you had any kind of witty quip, it was immediately extinguished as she began to pump fully and steadily in and out of your hot, wet tunnel. A heady moan worked its way up your throat as she curled her fingers inside of you like earlier, each stroke sending a pulse through you.

You wrapped your legs around her and she began to thrust into you, using her hips to push her fingers deeper and harder into you.

"You look so good underneath me. You're so beautiful," she said as she continued to fuck you and it wasn't long until you could feel your wetness dripping down you and onto the sheets.

You were never overly vocal in bed, especially given the dorm situation and neighbours. But the way her thumb teased your clit and the way her fingers filled you with each stroke, your voice resounded off of the walls of your dorm.

Soon you could feel your core tightening much as it did earlier. You clenched around her fingers as she panted above you. You didn't need to tell her you were close; she fucked you steadily, carrying you over the threshold. Your whole body stiffened, fingers digging sharply into her skin as she groaned in response as you began to convulse around her fingers.

"God, you are so gorgeous cumming in my arms like this," she declared as she continued to pump in and out of you, slowing only when you began to grow slack in her embrace.

"Holy fuck," you eventually panted. She was laying slow, tender kisses along your shoulder as she waited you out.

"Your roommate's not coming back tonight, is she?" She asked.

"No," you said and she cracked a salacious grin.

"Good."

-------

The next morning you awoke. You inadvertently groaned as you shifted. Your body was exhausted. The memories of last night flooded your mind and you glanced over only to see the space next to you unoccupied.

You sat up immediately and your eyes scanned the room for any evidence of Jessie. Her shoes were gone, her clothes. You sat up further as your heart began to thump loudly in your chest and confusion settled over you.

You shook your head with a frown. No. This didn't make sense. Not after everything.

You reached over to grab your phone. As you did, you spied a sticky note on your bedside table.

"I'm a morning person. What can I say! I'm getting us coffee and croissants. I'll be back soon. - J"

The lump in your throat immediately subsided and you released a breath you hadn't known you were holding. You opened your phone to see a text from her as well.

"Just in case you missed the note. I'm getting coffee and croissants. Be back soon, Beautiful."

You laid back on the bed, pulling the sheets up with you and letting out another sigh as your body relaxed once more.

Okay. This made much more sense. It wasn't all a lie.

A short while later you heard the door handle turn and the door was tentatively pushed open a crack. You found yourself smiling immediately as she tip-toed in, her straightening and smiling fully when she saw you were awake.

"Good morning," she greeted as she approached with said coffee and baked goods in hand.

"You're lucky, Fleming," you teased as you rolled onto your side as she set everything down. "I was about to lose it until I saw your note."

Jessie gave you a teasing look as she sat down on the edge of the bed. She spoke, unbothered, "Waking up next to a beautiful woman who I think is amazing? Yeah, I am lucky."

You chuckled as she kissed your forehead. "Well, I didn't get that luxury. Just a cold and lonely bed," you teased.

"I get antsy once I'm up. I didn't want to wake you," she explained. You pulled her in for a kiss.

"Fine. I forgive you."

Jessie smiled, returning your kiss. "Thank you. And, mmm, morning breath."

"Oh my God," you gasped, mortified as you swatted at her, only causing her to laugh. She leaned back in, pushing you down onto the bed with a kiss.

"Hey, I don't mind. I want you, morning breath and all," she chuckled.

"You better," you grumbled good-naturedly as she continued to kiss you. Her hand began to wander and you knew very well what she'd find.

"Mm, and it seems like you want me, too," she grinned. You chuckled, but rolled your hips into her hand.

"Coffee's not the only way to wake me up."

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #woso imagine #woso x reader #canwnt x reader #woso smut

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three--rings · 6 months ago

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God it's DIABOLICAL the way being around your family 24 hours a day will make you the worst version of yourself.

Also these people don't COMMUNICATE. If you intend to go sit on the beach for an hour, like please tell me that's what's happening so I can plan and like bring sunscreen and beach shoes, because I was not told about this plan.

And I finally had an introvert meltdown and was like "I need to be alone in a room for a couple hours" because I've been with people for like 48 hours and my mom literally does not stop talking.

I went out after that to try to watch IWTV with Justin and my mom sat in the chair next to me, while we had the video cued up, and didn't stop talking for over an hour. Without barely a WORD from either of us. She literally monologued about every vacation we ever took when I was a kid. And as soon as I would try to wind things down and inhale to say something like, "okay so goodnight" she would go off in another direction.

Like I love her, but MY GOD extroverts are the worst.

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demontime09 · 7 months ago

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Faded - Chapter 2

Alr posting the second part 😈

____________________________________

Chris never came back. But that's normal now, I guess. I've curled myself into my bed, my reading glasses on, carefully turning pages so as not to rip it.

"Wha' youu readin?" I don't even look up as I immediately recognize the voice.

"Old yeller." I reply softly. I finally look up to see him teetering on my window sill.

"Can I uh-" He stumbles and holds himself up on the wall. "Comeee in?" He finishes.

"Aren't you already?" I reply, placing my book back on the nightstand. He stumbles over and falls on top of me. His gaze lingers on my chest before looking at me. His eyes desperately try to focus to no avail. "Mm, you're so purtty," He mumbles before yawning and beginning to snore on me. I run my fingers through his hair before turning off my lamp. This has become our nightly routine, and who am I to break it? If Chris enjoys it, I do, too.

11:35am

I wake to no Chris. No warm embrace, no pillow talk, no making coffee for each other. But again, that's how it is.

I walk downstairs to see him reaching into his pockets and desperately searching for something. He's dressed, his wife beater and jeans hugging him perfectly. Sometimes I wish i could take off his clothes in a sexy manner but its almost always to wash vomit stains out.

Instead of it smelling of sex, it smells like weed and booze. Instead of moans and happily praising eachother, it's him mumbling profanitys at me or passing out on me. Like last night. I'm glad it wasn't the latter.

He turns suddenly and notices me. He finches slightly. "Oh, hey. Thanks for letting me crash here last night, ma, " He says awkwardly. "Of course, anytime." I smile a tiny bit, which seems to affect him in some way, and he immediately looks away and rambles about losing his keys. I nod toward the bedroom and tell him they're on my floor. And by the time I'm in and out of the bathroom, Chris is nowhere to be found.

_______

I guess I should give you some background. I met Chris at a highschool party in 12th grade. Before he had any of his issues, back when he only dabbled in weed and only drank at parties. I thought he was cute, funny. The type of guy I'd see myself being with. He ended up driving me home, kissing me goodnight, and that was that. I was hooked. I knew I needed this man.

I spent the next couple months trying to get close to him. I'd invite him over, ask him out, and he would most of the time. By month 3 he was canceling dates, but would always somehow make it up to me. By month 6 he was high 24/7, making excuses, and starting to sell bud. Before I knew it, a whole year of knowing Chris had passed. And the chris i met at that party, the chris who bought me flowers at graduation, the chris who told me he'd wait for me when I wasn't ready, the Chris who used to blast rap music in my house without my input. It was always him choosing the music, but I never minded. All of those things, all of that chris, was pretty much gone. Now I only ever get affection if Chris is drunk enough.

I know this sounds like I'm just throwing a pity party for myself, but I really don't mind it. I've always been on the passive side, things don't bother me too bad. That's why me and Chris work so well. He wants to get high and drunk, that's his business. And I'll always be here for him. And even though everyone tells me to leave him, I can't bring myself to. Who will be here to take care of him? To hold his hair back when he's sick? to get him water and advil for his hangovers? This has become somewhat of a purpose for me and I'll never give it up, I don't care what my friends say.

I snap out of my daydream and start getting ready for work.

(Time skip, I am not writing abt her working who gives a flying fuck)

After hours of work all I really want is a joint. And I know I know, but I used to dabble in weed too, and I developed quite the liking to it. Ever since I saw chris and his problems, I got scared off from it. But if he gets to get faded every single day, why should I not get to have a bit of fun?

Only problem is, I don't have any weed, it's super late, and I'm itching for the sweet sweet smell of bud. I have one choice.

I call chris, and thankfully, he doesn't sound drunk. "Hey ma, what's up?" "Can you come over, please?" I hear him hesitate and sigh. "I dont-" "I wanna get high." I blurt. "Oh. Uh, um yeah, gimme 15 minutes." He hangs up.

I'm about 20 minutes I'm sitting on my bed with Chris, his wife beater has gotten a little dirty and his jeans are scuffed up.

He clears his throat and fixes his hat.

"Why don't you change chris?" "Wha- I don't have any clothes here. "Yes, you do. In that drawer, I had you bring some over a couple of weeks ago." "Oh I um, forgot." Chris always,"forgets." I think it's cute.

He changes into some pajama pants and white shirt. Classic chris.

I look closer at his eyes, they're red, he doesn't seem to be drunk at all, just high.

"Would you like some eye drops?" I ask camly. "Fuck ma, are we gonna smoke this or not!" He snaps. I immediately flinch away a bit. "Fuck, I'm sorry Char, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Chris." I smile softly. "Really, it's okay, you're right, let's do it." He looks away, "You sure you don't mind it in your room? I can blow it out the window." His voice is low and calm. "It's fine." I don't wanna inconvenience Chris, he's come all this way to smoke with me, I don't wanna ruin it.

He lights it, the smoke slowly drifting up to my ceiling. His hit is huge, and he holds it in, before coughing it out and handing it to me. I look at it nervously. "Hey ma, don't worry." His eyes shift slowly towards me. "You've got it. You've done it before."

I take a deep breath and take a hit, hold it in, and cough it out. My chest burns And my throat is raw. God I've missed this.

As I'm coughing and covering my face from embarrassment, Chris reaches out for my hands and holds them gently in his. He focuses right into my eyes. "You did so good mama's, hey, hey look at me." I haven't seen chris like this in a very long time. Its just like the old chris, the one who kissed my lips softly before typing his number into my phone and driving away in his little rinky dink Honda. God I've missed this.

He blows more smoke up into my ceiling.

"I'm sorry, ma." He looks in my vague direction. "Hm, for what?" I saw reaching for the joint. He rubs his eyes and clenches his jaw. "I'm just not myself anymore, am I?" I sit with that statement for a while before I exhale and cough a bit more, he reaches for me almost like it's a reflex, only for him to retreat his hands back to his sides. "I like you how you are, Chris." He flicks the joint over my ashtray and puts his head back, his adams apple bobbing as he thinks. "I'm glad, char." Is all he says. It's a miracle he's even over here at this time of day. Usually, he's off with his buddies doing God knows what, so I don't push it.

After 4 more hits, I'm really feeling it. I'm closer to chris, laying on my bed. He's right here, finally. God, he's warm. My vision blurs and focuses on his features. "Ma.." he trails off when I touch his jaw. He holds my hand away, his breath quick, "I gotta.." I don't hear the rest of what he says. I hear the creaking of my bed, and feet hit the floor. "This was fun ma, I'll see you." He reaches for the door handle, hesitates. "Fuck.." He cusses under his breath. I hear his footsteps again and feel his breath on my face. He kisses me quickly, turns on his heel, and with one door slam he's gone.

Authors note

Goodbye. How can I ruin chars life any further bro 😭 this poor girl

#sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #cant let gang know i fw this #demon time #sturniolo series

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levi501ackerman · 6 months ago

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Steel Heart Chapter 11:

The Traitor

Hange x Reader Chapter Index Masterlist AO3

Megan's Note: I'm so excited for the story to get a little darker before heading towards the light!! I've been grinding through the last of my summer semester accelerated classes! I ended with all A's again : ) <3 So excited for these few weeks break before fall semester starts. Some vacation trips and nothing but writing :) Posted: 8/8/24 (12:30am LOL)

Word Count: 4.3k

!!WARNING: unsettling descriptions!!!

Jean was talking more during breakfast than he had yesterday. He was being snarky and quick with Connie while they shoved rice, eggs, and sausages into their mouths. The light and fun whimsical banter with Connie gave you hope. He was going to be alright. The day of him relaxing and resting was what Jean needed and it seemed like he would be back to top-notch shape in a few days.

White clouds blocked most of the blue sky and Captain Levi predicted that the day wouldn’t be scorching—a perfect day for heading toward Stohess District. Levi reminded the group of knights shoving their breakfast into their mouths that there was going to be a night of camping outside of Stohess then tomorrow they would pass through the city gathering supplies. Dame Hange Zoe then announced to the knights—more to Levi’s squad—that before they left the Scout Regiment’s Stohess District Headquarters they ordered weapons. Traveling to the next resting point outside of Stohess would only take five hours. A shorter and more forgiving travel day.

Hange was one of the last knights to finish packing. They had to pack their tables and chairs into one of the cart supplies and take down their tent. Packing and unpacking were Hange’s least favorite parts about traveling. They brought extra books that added to the weight of their load.

“Damn it! Where is it?!” Levi and Eren initiated taking down their tent because the men were losing their patience. Hange was trying to find one of the remaining books they didn’t pack yet. Once the tent was taken down Hange looked around the grassy area trying to find the book on the ground. It wasn’t in her bag of books and she couldn’t find the book in her sack or along any of the bags tied to her horse.

The ride to the next meeting point outside of Stohess started without Hange finding their book. Some of the knights riding near Hange could hear them scolding and verbally berating themselves.

As always you rode with Levi and you thought he would be upset with you for talk back to him last night. Normally Fairy Godmother Christa would discipline you for talking back. There was a feeling with Levi that was hard for you to put into words. There was a sense of trust that you could act out and he forgave you. His words ran through your mind.

You’re going to be your truest and freest self here.

With your arms wrapped around Levi’s waist, you tapped his abdomen, seeking his attention. The hood of your cloak was capturing the wind and you gripped the fabric near your neck battling the wind to keep control of your cloak. Levi revealed his side profile as he lifted his chin to acknowledge you.

“Levi, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you in front of the other knights yelling ‘goodnight’ at you last night.”

“No need to apologize.” Levi turned his head forward focusing on riding onwards. You knew Levi wouldn’t hold your behavior against you, but you just wanted to get the remorse off your chest.

On the right, you could make out Hange in the distance. Their brown hair was tied up and feathering behind them. You swore they weren’t wearing their glasses and from the distance and you couldn’t see the black of their eye patch covering their face. Hange must have taken off both accessories before the ride.

The moment of approaching Hange’s naked form in the river invaded your mind. You remember when they noticed you getting closer to them, they put their eye patch and glasses back on. Hange didn’t need two eyes to be pretty, but you wondered how did Hange lose their eye?

You imagined a field of green grass turned to a bloody brown and littered with bodies and blood. They grasp their sword as they grit their teeth, sharpening their eyes, and one eyebrow twitched up challenging the Marleyan Cultist. You imagined Hange slashing the cultists—one after another. Three at once! The cult members clutched their necks and spewed blood through their fingers. Hange’s feet are part of the earth—planted in a brawny stance and only the very last cult member got close to Hange. You imagined the cult member swinging their sword and slicing Hange’s eye. They don’t scream or groan and with gel substances seeping from their socket. They stuck their sword through the eye cultist’s eye and brain, hitting the back of the skull. Hange slides the cultist’s head off their crested sword using their foot. The bodies piled around them and Dame Hange Zoe was the last knight standing. Fierce and imposing.

You shuddered and cringed. Why did you give yourself that thought? You rolled your eyes feeling disgusted with yourself. However, Hange must have gone through a tragic fight. Victorious and branded with a scar left over to remind themselves how powerful they are. Another thought occurred: how lucky you were to have a knight like Hange protecting you.

The galloping of the horse’s hooves beating the ground filled your ears as you pulled yourself from your thoughts. Levi and Hange must have known each other for a while, the way they planned together, yet butt heads. Possibly Levi might know how Hange lost their eye, maybe he was there with them.

“Levi?” just like before, Levi tilted his chin, looking over his shoulder at you. “How did Hange lose their eye?”

“Why don’t you ask your twin?”

“Uh—”

“It’s personal,” Hange was your friend. Maybe they would tell you if you asked. There was an optimistic feeling as you thought of Hange. They could protect you if needed and they were unlike anyone you met.

The walls of Sina grew larger as the knights and you approached closer. In the distance was the river and you wondered what the area of the wall looked like that allowed the river to flow through. Perhaps there was an opening large enough for water to flow through the wall. Could it be large enough for a human to get through without drowning? It must not because the walls are tightly secured and have been around since before you were born.

The sun emerged from behind the clouds heating the journey. You felt the hairline around your neck—beneath your low bun—start to feel warm and sweaty from the afternoon’s sun shining down on your body. Levi had sweat on his neck too. All the knights started feeling the heat. You released one arm from Levi’s waist and slightly leaned backward to reach an open space between Beauty’s hindquarters and croup. You rubbed Beauty affectionately hoping she didn’t feel miserable while racing under the sun.

Then you worried about the plan you and Hange had. Last night you asked Hange what you should do when it came time to travel. Hange suggested putting your future pet bunny into your cloth bag while riding so it won’t escape. Another thought occurred: what if your future bunny gets hot in the cloth bag?

Levi pulled Beauty’s reins and she galloped perpendicular to the right. Beauty weaved past the knights on horses and obeyed Levi’s order. As you were getting closer to Hange, you noticed them putting their eyepatch and glasses back onto their face.

“Let’s get closer to the river!” Levi said and Hange nodded then grinned at you. You gave a Hange a wave back as Levi made Beauty pick up the pace heading toward the front of the formation. Hange and their horse charged ahead as well.

“ALL SQUADS TOWARD THE RIVER!” Hange ordered. The knights verbally salute Hange in unison and followed after Levi and Hange’s direction. They headed toward the river and the grass was taller in the field. There were more green shrubbery and vibrant flowers around. Bright orange flowers caught your eye from the ground and flowers with tiny lilac petals were clustered around. You thought about how pretty the ground looked. Then you bit your lip holding back a smile at the thought that there had to be bunnies around.

You were practically bouncing when Levi, Hange, and the rest of the knights stopped the horses and began to unpack. They held their tents and walked far from the horses and started setting up the camp. Connie and Eren were creating a fire

“Hange, is there anything I can do to help?” You were eager for Hange to get done setting up their tent. The area of sparse trees, bushes, and plants seemed like a great place for little rabbits to be waiting to get captured. You couldn't hide your excitement and followed Hange around as they walked back and forth carrying their cargo from their horse.

“Princess you don’t need to help,” Hange enjoyed your eager spirit. You walked backwards in front of them as they carried two of their bags.

“Okay but if I help you, then you’ll get done quicker and then we can go find my pet bunny!” You grabbed one bag out of Hange’s grasp causing them to chuckle.

“Y/N, your enthusiasm is adorable. The only thing you can help me with is thinking of a name for our rabbit while I organize the conference tent.” You gasped and knights turned their attention to you as you squealed excitedly. Hange wanted a human name for the rabbit, but you couldn’t think of many names you liked besides your own. You and Hange entered the conference tent. The large wide tent that you and Hange shared while sleeping.

Before falling asleep last night Hange kept encouraging you to think of your pet bunny hopping around the tent. It was fun to think of animals with Hange. Hange gave you a small book of different sketches of animals and insects they spotted. There were rough sketches of a grasshopper, an owl, birds, a dragonfly, a frog, ants, and beetles. With the drawings were labels, dates, and descriptions. The small book had empty pages and Hange told you they weren’t sure if they were going to continue the book. While Hange drifted off to sleep you eyed the drawings and admired the effort Hange put into the book. A thought popped into your head of Hange possibly adding your pet bunny to the book.

Hange had bags piled on the table and they groaned unpacking their possessions. Your cloth bag was next to your rolled-up bed and you noticed it was slightly opened. You opened the bag and dug into it wanting to see Hange’s book again. After you rolled out your bedroll you laid on your stomach and placed the brown leather book in front of you. Hange pulled a bundle of swords out and threw them on the ground next to the side of the tent. The steel clanged against each other as they were piled carelessly. You flipped through the pages ignoring the written text and then landed on the first drawing.

The Grasshopper.

The descriptions of the grasshopper took up most of the page but you didn’t want to read it. Only look at the sketch. The labels noted that grasshoppers had five eyes—three of them were tiny compared to the main two. You imagined how amazing it would be to have five eyes and what it would be like to see what was behind you.

“Wow, grasshoppers are kind of cute,” Hange could hear the fascination in your voice as they unpacked another bag filled with bandages, different creams, and pills. They grabbed a different bag and concluded it was their clothes then moved on to another bag.

“Hey Princess, grasshoppers have ears on their bellies—did you know that?” Hange found another bag with multiple pairs of wire-rimmed glasses and a few eye patches. You noticed a sentence on the page that had that same sentence. The written text explained that the ears were on the abdomen under their wings.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Have you seen one before?”

“No.”

“You’ll probably see one if you look at the ground they are all around.”

“And I’ll know what to look for because of your gift,” you smiled and then turned the page. A large sketch of the owl took up most of the page. It was the evening when you first looked at the sketches and seeing the details in the light made the intricate details of the sketch prominent—

A thump and the table rattled. You froze from the expression on Hange's face. Their eye was wide, their eyebrows raised, their forehead wrinkled, and their jaw dropped open. Then Hange stomped toward your small form on your bedroll.

“Why did you take my book?! I’ve been looking for this all day! I thought I lost it! You can’t take things without asking!” Hange bent down and took the book from you, you pushed yourself onto your knees looking up at them. Guilt rushed through your body making your stomach twist at Hange’s demeanor. You almost saw Fairy Godmother Christa. You made Hange upset.

“Hange, I’m sorry!!!” You blurted wanting to make amends with the knight that slayed the necks of people that held you captive. “I thought you gave it to me as a gift! Forgive me!!! Please! Forgive me for this!!!”

“I wouldn’t give this away—”

“You gave it to me last night!! Before you fell asleep! I’m sorry I took it because I thought it was a gift.”

Hange saw the fear behind your eyes.

You saw Hange's face fall and soften.

They exhaled and closed the book, turning on their heels. Hange placed the journal on the table and sat in the chair. They took off their glasses and tossed them onto the table

“I’m sorry, Princess, it must have slipped my mind. I didn’t mean to accuse—”

“No!” You rushed to Hange’s side and knelt on your knees submissively. You grabbed Hange’s hand, held it with both of your hands, and cupped it against your heart. “Hange I assumed it was a gift. I was wrong. Let’s just forget about this misunderstanding. Please . . . I need you . . .”

After your words of guilt and fear, you looked up at Hange. There was a sparkle behind their eyes. Not anger. Not disappointment—a curiosity . . . The kind of eyes that were studying something intently—something to remember. They peered down on you.

“It’s forgotten . . .” Hange pulled their hand from your grip. Then they leaned toward you and collected your right hand, bringing your hand to their lips. They kissed your hand respectfully, their eye never leaving yours. You felt a new sense of warmth for some reason, something you haven’t felt before. An ache to please and you weren’t going to do anything until Hange asked.

Anything for the knight that saved you.

“We’re still friends right?” You whispered as if speaking was going to break the amendment.

“Always forever,” they said, letting go of your hand to tuck a strand behind your ear. You practically leaned into their touch, their acceptance. “Friends don’t stop being friends over a misunderstanding, Princess.”

“I’m sorry . . . I was thinking that maybe you could add our future pet bunny,” Hange noticed the hope in your eyes and they put their glasses back onto their face. They sighed as they handed their book back to you.

“I would love to, but I don’t draw well.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, accepting the return of the book.

“I’m glad you like it, it’s pretty much what I have left of my late best friend. He drew the sketches. He’s better at drawing. I just wrote down the labels and research.”

“Was he that one messenger?”

“His name is Moblit Berner,” Hange’s eye was glossy. They closed their eye and slumped against their chair. You knew there was so much they wanted to say. They probably had known them for a long time and thinking about them hurt. A chunk of their life was taken from them. You didn’t know what it was like to have a friend die—only relating to the loss of your old life in Shiganshina. You hugged Hange tightly and they tensed at the unexpected touch.

“I’m sorry. I’ve never lost a friend, but I’ve lost my home and I bet it feels the same.” Hange leaned into you holding the back of your head and wrapping their other arm around you.

“You’ll be a kind and compassionate Queen, Y/N . . . Stay fair, Princess.” When you pulled away from Hange—wanting to see if they were crying or about to—the gloss on their eye was gone and the warmth of their eye demanded your attention. You couldn’t look away. Their gaze held yours, giving the approval your eyes were seeking.

“T-Thank you Dame Hange,” you collected their book and stood from the ground. There was an uncertain feeling while you looked at Hange and then walked back to your bedroll. You felt their gaze on your body.

“I’m glad you enjoy that book,” Hange stood and grabbed books out of another bag that was waiting to be unpacked. “Moblit and I have been working on that for years. Whenever we went outside of the castle we tried to find wildlife . . .” Hange spoke fondly of their late friend. They blinked and opened another bag. “Possibly make a book to sell.”

“Is that your dream? To create a book?”

“No.”

“Well, I told you my dream. What’s yours?”

“In another life, I’m a scientist studying chemicals—medicine maybe. Maybe studying creatures or the human body.”

“Aren’t there people like that already? Why not do it in this life?”

“Like you said there’s already people who discovered most of what we know. Scientists don’t make enough to live off of unless they’re married and have the time to research without income. Plus as a Knight of the Royal King’s Guard, the beds are better, there’s warm food, and the sense of fulfillment protecting the royal family.”

“So a researcher?”

“That’s correct.”

“And you need someone to draw what you see outside?”

“Correct, again.” You flipped to the page with the sketch of the large owl. The drawing was impressive and though you had no idea what Moblit looked like you wanted to meet him.

“Hange, may I ask you a personal question?”

“What?”

“Are you married?” Hange let out a loud laugh, it sounded different. Hange’s laugh was less amused and more bitter.

“How could I be married with my eye? I scare people off. There’s not a lot of time for romance when there’s duty, Princess. It’s not common for Knights of the Royal King’s Guard being married. Most of the knights pay for a lady’s company.” You couldn’t decide what you wanted to explore. The thought of Sir Miche Zacharius, Captain Levi, Jean, Connie, and Eren paying girls for love. A question flew through your mind wondering which knights in the camp—if any—were married. A sympathetic thought of how horrible it must be to sell your body, the thought of strangers loving you the way they wanted. Then the last thought of Hange by the river came into your mind. You saw a lot of their body. Their breasts, their legs, their back muscles, and their butt. They probably saw yours. One thing you did decide was that Hange could still marry if they wanted to because they were pretty. “Want to know another secret?”

“Yes!” You perked up at their question. Hange smirked and came over to you. You bit your lip holding back your excitement and Hange knew they piqued your interest.

“You can not tell ANYONE,” Hange said.

“I won’t! I want to know another secret!”

“It’s about someone we know. You can not even hint that you know. You can not tease him about what I’m going to tell you. Got that?!” You nodded and Hange looked over their shoulder to the entrance of the large conference tent checking if someone was eavesdropping. Hange sat in front of you crossing their legs and leaning forward. They lowered their voice, “Levi is in a secret relationship with the Commander of the Royal King’s Guard.”

It took a moment to process the words. Levi was in a relationship, you felt yourself be excited for him. You wanted to meet Levi’s special someone—a thought crossed your mind. Didn’t the commander have a man’s name? You scrunched up your face as the memories played in your head of Zeke giving a letter to Levi from Commander Erwin. Then the moment when Hange asked Levi why Erwin would go to Trost District from the day before.

“Levi’s in a secret relationship with a man?!?!”

“What do you think about him dating a man?”

“I think girls are going to be so jealous, huh?!” Hange laughed, their smile was brighter and as if a weight was lifted from them. “There’s probably so many girls wanting to date Levi. He’s so strong and protective. He’s so considerate.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Is that why you’re attached to him?”

“What?! I am NOT attached to Levi!” You pushed Hange and they were caught off guard. They placed their hand down, catching themselves from you pushing them off-balanced.

“You are! You’re blushing!” Hange poked your cheeks.

“I’m NOT!” You swat Hange’s hand away. “Hange stop please!”

“I’m just messing around, darling. No need to—OW!” You pulled your hand away from Hange’s abdomen. “Did you just pinch me? What are you? Ten?!”

“No, you’re ten!”

“You are.”

“No, you!”

“You are . . .” In the distance was the sound of men shouting. Hange blinked, staring off listening to the clanking of armor and the aggressive clashing of steel. The sound was different. It was not the sound of swords. You waited for Hange’s reaction. For them to say you were safe. Could the Marleyan Cult already caught up to them? Your heart raced and it felt like time had stopped. Through the shuffle of the noise, there was a distinct man’s voice groaning and yelling.

“Hange?!” You gripped onto their arm and your voice rooted them into reality. They sprung up from where they sat.

“Stay here!” They lunged for their crested sword on the table and you followed after them.

“No! I’m staying with you!”

“Stay calm, Y/N, we don’t know the situation yet. Breath.” Hange calmly comforted you. As you worried about what was out there—who was coming for you, you latched onto Hange’s side. You followed Hange out of the tent, their crested sword was on their hip and Hange had their hand on the handle.

Most of the tents were set up and some were laying on the ground. The knights weren’t around setting up the camp or their tents. The pit intended for the fire had fresh-cut wood ready to be burned. Some bags and boxes were littered onto the ground as if they were dropped in the middle of their task.

A sound of a man’s was grunts were off to the right. Hange and you flicked your necks at the sound and all the knights were clumped at the base of the tree, their swords were drawn. The knights were facing the base of the tree. Their stance was firm on the ground yet ready to swipe their sword toward what they were looking at.

“Stay behind me,” Hange ordered. You obeyed, following them two feet behind them. As Hange approached the group of knights they parted for the commander. When they stepped aside you saw Levi holding a man by the hair of his head. There was rope tying him in his suit of armor against the tree. There was blood oozing from the familiar man’s nose. Levi was crouched down inches from his face and it sounded like he was asking the man a question. Your curiosity made you pass Hange, getting a closer look at the man you thought was dead. Where were his glasses?

“Zeke?!” His blue eyes flashed from Levi’s to yours. Zeke spit blood from his mouth and though he didn’t say anything you could tell he was pleading for you. Levi’s pissed expression caught your eyes as he turned to the sound of your voice. There was a blaze in Levi’s eye. An unfriendly depth of rage. Why was Levi hurting Zeke? The knight that saved you several times . . . Zeke choke out a breathless whisper of your name. You didn’t know how to react or how to help. Why was someone who was protecting you hurting another knight?

You felt Hange grab your arm, pulling you away from Zeke’s defenseless beating. There was nothing you could do, you wanted to stand in between Levi and Zeke begging them to talk it out. Levi’s eyes didn’t soften.

“You don’t want to see this,” Hange stepped in front of you and you leaned to the side, getting a last glance at Levi and Zeke. Hange was pushing you backward.

“Get her far from here,” Levi said and his tone was dark—something you knew Levi could go to if he had to. Yet you didn’t want to see this horrid side of him. There was an eerie silence while walking from the tree. A pause from the brutal treatment that would only resume when you left. Knowing that Levi was going to beat up Zeke when you were out of sight made you dizzy.

“What’s going on?” Hange shushed you and as you tried to look over your shoulder, Hange would move to the side blocking your attempt to see more.

“Let’s take a walk.”

Though it was the perfect time for bunny hunting, the thought of Zeke’s being helpless against Levi weighed on your mind. The clump of steel men was getting further and further.

“Hange, Levi was beating up that man. I know him! He saved me a few times!” Hange guided you toward a grass field, with trees and shrubbery. The scent of horses was faint, but they were far enough away to not flood your nostrils. Hange’s stern face didn’t change as they turned toward you.

“Princess, Levi thinks that Zeke is the traitor.”

next chapter: Chapter 12: Sapphires

chapter index masterlist

#attack on titan #hange zoe #levi ackerman #hanji zoe #hange zoë #hange x reader #hange x you #hange zoe x reader #hanji x reader #hange zoe smut #hanji zoë #hanji aot #hanji fanfiction #hanj

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livvyliveslife · 1 year ago

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💌 Day 17 - 17/1/24 🧋🎧

I haven't really expressed how my Audhd has affected me but it's come up recently. During Christmas Break, having a break from everyone and everything, left me... with a fever due to stress. My body was literally shutting down on me. Either way, its 2 weeks into the New Year and I've been... idk, a high functioning burnt out person? idk i guess i can get myself to work but being at work 10 hours is just draining. Im lucky to have a job but when does it start feeling more like working to live vs living to work. Managed to take my vitamins, been forgetting to eat though so that's not ideal. but oh well. goodnight x Liv x

#becoming that girl #self care #self love #self development #that girl #clean girl #pink pilates princess #self improvement #girl blogger #it girl

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homerjacksons · 1 year ago

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Fluffy February - @fluffyfebruary Day 25: Kiss Word count: 2,637 Fandom: Ripper Street Pairing: Homer Jackson/Edmund Reid AO3

A/N: This is a 5+1 fic!

All 5 "almost kiss" moments are inspired by actual canon events, little missing scenes I've decided to write in. However, I'm only up to the end of s1 in my rewatch and this starts at the end of s1 so...any inaccuracies are due to my goldfish brain, apologies.

The +1 at the end is a direct follow-up to day 3 in this collection, with the first line being the last line from that ficlet.

Jackson didn’t know what to do. His whole body was vibrating with pent up energy. The last 24 hours had been absolute hell, hell he’d been sure he wasn’t going to come back from. If he were being honest, he still wasn’t sure. If he were found guilty of being the Ripper, he would hang, no doubt about it.

“I’ll get you out of this,” Reid muttered, still leaning against the bars as though he refused to leave Jackson’s side. After all he’d done, he wasn’t sure he deserved it.

He sighed, running a shaky hand through his hair, pacing the length of his cell once more. He felt sick with it, with all he’d done, with all that was yet to come. He just wanted to rest, to fall into Susan’s arms and sleep, be at peace at last. He wasn’t sure if Susan would even have him, not really. They hadn’t had time to discuss what the day’s events meant for them. All he knew was he wanted–needed–to rest, preferably in the arms of someone he loved.

“Stop pacing, you’re giving me a headache,” Reid bit out.

“You don’t have to be here,” Jackson snapped back, pausing in front of him, just the bars between them and precious little air. “In fact, shouldn’t you be out there clearing my name?”

“Fine.” Reid sounded angry, put out, almost hurt as he pushed away from the bars and made to walk away. But Jackson caught him by the wrist before he could.

“Wait.” Reid stopped, turned to look at him, expression hard. “Are you hurt?”

“You arrived in time.”

“Let me take a proper look,” Jackson insisted, knowing he had to do something.

Reid hesitated a moment before reaching into his pocket for the keys to Jackson’s cell, and he released his hold on Reid’s wrist to allow him to unlock it and enter.

“Sit down.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Reid said, though he complied.

Jackson knelt before him, peeling back his collar to view the bruises at Reid’s neck, the slight cut where the cuffs had bit into flesh, fingertips trailing gently, reverently, over both. Reid sucked in a sharp breath as Jackson’s fingertips ventured to the edges of the scar at his shoulder and he pulled back, resting his hand over Reid’s chest, fingertips settling at the hollow of his neck.

Reid swallowed thickly, eyes downcast, and when he finally looked at Jackson, through his eyelashes rather than head on, Jackson’s breath caught in his throat. He knew why, knew his mind and his body well enough, he just wasn’t sure why now, why this moment, when so many others had passed before them, more charged and less emotionally fraught.

“I told you I am fine,” Reid said, voice a little huskier than before.

“Just had to see for myself.”

It would be so easy to lean in, to close the distance. What was one more crime tacked onto the long list added to his name today. If Reid didn’t want to kiss him, if Jackson was reading the moment all wrong, it wouldn’t fuck his life up any more than it already was. He thought about it, licked his lips, felt Reid lean in infinitesimally against his hand, that pressure almost like permission, but he pulled back at the last moment, patting Reid’s shirt down before standing once more.

“I am sorry, Reid,” he muttered, voice hoarse enough he had to clear it before continuing. “For all of it.”

For Hobbs, for running, for Goodnight, for Swift, for aiming a gun at him, at Drake, for his past, for what was likely to become of his future.

Reid didn’t respond. He just stood, making his way wordlessly to the door of the cell, casting one last, inscrutable look Jackson’s way before locking it behind him and striding off.

For a brief moment, hope had lived inside his heart, hope that he'd see his little girl again, hold her in his arms, take her home where she belonged. For a brief moment, he'd felt so alive again. Then all his hopes had been dashed in an instant, everything he'd been clinging to had crumbled, and he was left floundering, left to pick up the pieces of his broken heart, his broken life, once more.

Reid’s whole body shuddered as he suppressed a sob, leaning forward against his desk, letting it take most of his weight. His head hung low, breath hitching as he attempted to pull himself together.

He straightened as he heard the door behind him open, clearing his throat, though he couldn’t dash the damning wetness from his eyes before Jackson was beside him, one hand on his shoulder, the other covering his where it still gripped the desk.

“I am so sorry, Reid,” Jackson whispered, giving Reid’s hand a small squeeze.

It struck Reid as odd and yet fitting at the same time that it would be Jackson here comforting him, Jackson trying to help, and not his wife nor his best friend. He tried to offer Jackson a smile but it crumbled and he looked away, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Jackson eased him into a chair, never once fully removing his touch, whether it was a hand on his arm, his shoulder, his back. He shivered as Jackson took his hand again, kneeling before him.

“I dunno what to say, Reid,” Jackson whispered, offering a sad smile.

He watched as Jackson reached up, hand hovering by Reid’s face as though he were going to cup Reid’s cheek. And oh, how Reid wished he would in that moment. How he wished Jackson would touch him like that, how he wished he could lean into that touch, let Jackson soothe his pain, let Jackson press a gentle, comforting kiss to his lips. He craved it so suddenly his breath caught in his throat, but then Jackson's hand fell to his shoulder.

“Tell me what you need.”

Reid couldn’t, not really. His heart hammered against his ribs as he looked into Jackson’s eyes. Sometimes he was sure Jackson felt this too, this pull between them. But he also knew how Jackson felt about Susan, how he would choose her above all else, always. And quite rightly, too—Reid had no claim over him.

“Nothing, Jackson,” he said quietly, voice tight as it squeezed past the lump in his throat. “Go home, be with your wife.”

iii

“Jackson.”

Jackson hummed in response, forcing his head up enough to look at Reid. “Thought you were gone.”

“I, uh…” Reid trailed off, looking almost embarrassed, and that was interesting enough for him to lift his head properly and look Reid in the eye despite the way the room spun nauseatingly around him.

“I’m on it,” Jackson muttered, realising Reid wasn’t embarrassed at all, that he just looked impatient as always. “Was just restin’ my eyes so I don’t mess up the dose.”

“No,” Reid said softly, moving to kneel before Jackson, hand hesitating before settling on his shoulder. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Jackson snorted, vision swimming a little as he cocked his head to the side. “You've changed your tune.”

Jackson’s head lolled to the side and he was surprised when Reid’s hands came up to cup his cheeks, holding his head upright. Jackson blinked against the vertigo and met Reid’s intense gaze. He looked on the verge of something, eyes flitting across Jackson’s face, from his eyes to his lips and back again like he was struggling with something, though Jackson’s mind was too fuzzy to work out what.

“How can I help?” Reid asked quietly.

His thumb brushed against Jackson’s cheek, distractingly tender, and for a moment, all he could see was Reid’s lips as his heart hammered against his ribs. He tilted forward, unintentionally though he wouldn't be surprised if his drug-hazed brain had tried and failed to make a decision. Reid removed one hand from his face to settle on his chest, keeping him upright.

“‘M fine, Reid,” he murmured, realising it was best to remove himself from this situation before he did something he couldn’t take back. “Just need a coffee and a cigarette and I’ll be good to go.”

He patted Reid’s cheek clumsily before standing, staggering a little as he made his way to the door in search of both, leaving Reid bewildered in his wake.

Jackson had never done this before, never shown up at Reid’s place. He only knew where the man lived on paper, had never even set eyes on the building though he’d thought about it often, thought about how it might feel to be welcome there any time.

He swallowed the lump in his throat before knocking.

He’d imagined showing up here, all casual nonchalance, a cigarette between his lips and a bottle of whiskey in hand. He’d imagined arriving with his arm about Reid’s shoulder, the two of them drunk and stumbling home, invited to spend the night on Reid’s couch, the thought of more teasing him behind closed doors. He’d imagined showing up here with false bravado and declarations he couldn’t take back. He’d imagined this so many ways, but none of them had involved him feeling broken with nowhere else to turn but the bottom of a bottle and a gutter down some dark alley.

The bottle had been tempting, he couldn’t lie, but the temptation of Reid was stronger, the ache in his heart yearning to be soothed in some way no matter how hard it was to picture Reid caring for him.

“Jackson?” Reid asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

He straightened, swallowed, aimed for a smile then sighed, realising he couldn’t be assed, and braced himself against the door frame instead. “Susan threw me out.”

Jackson was sure he saw a smile tugging at Reid’s lips for just a moment before it was gone in a flash, concern pulling his brow together as he wordlessly led Jackson inside.

“Drink?”

“Please,” Jackson replied, voice catching on that one, simple word, making him sound utterly desperate.

Reid poured them both a drink while Jackson hovered, uncertain and entirely out of his depth. He handed Jackson his glass and led him to the couch, sitting down, gesturing for Jackson to do the same.

He downed a large mouthful of the drink, relishing the burn, hoping it would stop his hands from shaking, but he had no such luck. He gripped the glass tighter, frustration bubbling inside him, and just as he was beginning to wish he’d not come here, not sought comfort where he’d never find any, Reid gently pried the glass from his hands, placing it aside before taking both Jackson’s hands in his own.

“I’m sorry,” Jackson whispered before Reid could say anything, shame bubbling up inside him.

“You’ve nothing to apologise for,” Reid said softly, giving his hands a small squeeze.

Jackson chanced a glance at Reid and his heart stuttered at the look of open affection and compassion he saw there, something he so rarely saw on Reid’s face, certainly not aimed at him.

It wasn’t the first time he was overcome with the urge to close the distance between them and press his lips to Reid’s, but this somehow felt the most dangerous, the most emotionally charged.

He swallowed, leaning in a little, hesitating as he tried to gauge Reid’s reaction. He thought Reid was going to lean in too, meet him halfway. He was sure as he watched Reid lick his lips, watched as his eyes darted to Jackson’s mouth before darting away again. He hovered, about to close the distance, when Reid sat back, letting go of Jackson’s hands with a quick pat.

“I’ll make up a bed for you,” Reid said, and he’d left the room before Jackson’s thoughts had even caught up.

Reid bristled, but he thrilled all the same to hear Jackson tease him once again, a response that was insanity, he was sure, but one he was so tired of fighting. So he dared to ask the question, dared to, in a roundabout way, attempt to get to the point, to finally stop, once and for all, their endless dancing around one another.

He found himself leaning in, unable to help it, as Jackson’s hand settled on his back, as Jackson leaned into his space. He breathed in deeply, eyes only leaving Jackson’s briefly to dart to his lips before locking eyes with him once more.

And then Jackson moved away, left Reid hovering in his wake, lips tingling with anticipation, with something that had yet to pass.

“We needle, we goad, because if we did not we would be forced to speak the truth.”

Reid swallowed at Jackson’s words, heart hammering against his ribs, barely daring to hope they may be on the same page.

He trailed Jackson, almost unconsciously. “Suppose for just one moment that was not–” He was brought to a sudden stop as Jackson thrust a drink between them and into Reid’s hands, causing his heart to stutter as their fingertips brushed. He forced himself to continue, barely holding his composure. “Suppose for one minute that was not the case. What would the truth say?”

He looked into Jackson’s eyes, willing him to understand, to play along, to finally put an end to the tension that seemed to be bubbling between them since the day they met. He was not quite brave enough to take that leap on his own, was not brave enough to kiss the man before him or confess to any feelings without the assurance that it was safe to do so, that Jackson felt the same, or at the very least, would not turn away from him.

“The truth?” Jackson started, and Reid had to remember to breathe. “That the good councillor fits with you. That the two of you look right together. And that I am sorry that your life is not less…complex.”

Reid’s heart dropped to his stomach, a chill crossing over him as a lump formed in his throat. He had been sure, so sure, that Jackson would infer his meaning. But perhaps he had. Perhaps he knew exactly what Reid was trying to say and was letting him down gently, safely, a way that they could both come back from, could continue on as though nothing had happened.

Because nothing had happened.

He swallowed down his disappointment, glancing at Jackson’s lips for just a brief moment before downing his drink in one, letting it wash away the hurt.

“C’mere, then,” Jackson said, laughter still in his voice as he crooked a finger at Reid. “I can find better ways to entertain you.”

Jackson laughed at the stunned look on Reid’s face, unable to hold it in, pure joy rising inside him. He’d spent so long second guessing himself, spent so long convincing himself that loving Reid was a fool’s errand, doomed from the start, could never come to anything.

But there Reid was, his love so clearly etched into every feature, every inch of his face brimming with affection, and Jackson couldn’t believe he’d convinced himself otherwise. There had to have been moments where Reid had looked at him like that, as though he’d hung the moon, as though his existence was something magical, but it had never been there long enough for him to convince himself he hadn’t imagined it.

Then here Reid was, watching him work, adoration so clear on his face that Jackson almost, almost, felt a fool for having never had the courage to act before.

He cupped Reid’s face in hands, sliding one hand back into his hair. He brushed his thumb across Reid’s lips, faces inches apart.

“I thought—I thought—you rebuffed me and—“

“Shut up, Reid,” Jackson whispered, cutting him off with a kiss.

#ripper street #edmund reid #homer jackson #jackmund #my writing #fanfiction #fluffy february

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jamestsmirk · 3 months ago

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Haven't Titled this but new fic time!

I've been planning out a vampire/ghost Schmookie au, and I finally wrote the opening chapter! It'll be crossposted on AO3 soon, but I wanted to send it here because I'm so proud of it.

Content warnings for major character death and undeath, and mild gore.

Schmitty had always found 3am to be the perfect time to go grocery shopping, and the 24-hour supermarket had never failed her in the past. As per usual, the parking lot was nearly empty once her uber arrived at the store, so it just proceeded as it would have on every other shopping trip. Before going through the doors, Schmitty took a moment to just take in the breeze surrounding her. Even though she was here to actually get shit done, there was no way she was going to waste the short time she’d spend outside for the day. It just wouldn’t be right! Still, she took this time to look over the crumpled, scrawled shopping list she’d been carrying, and made her way inside.

Thankfully, the shopping didn’t take that long this time. Schmitty had found everything that it needed within 20 minutes, and against its better judgment, headed towards the cash register. The poor cashier didn’t look like they wanted to be there at all.

“You having a party, or something?” The store employee just barely raised an eyebrow as they took note of the various snacks and junk food that made up the other’s grocery haul.

“Nah, I don’t really like ‘em all that much.” Schmitty shrugged, not at all acknowledging the deadpan stare it was given in return.

“You know we don’t just sell chips and canned shit, right? We’ve got a whole meat section open if you stop by earlier.”

“Yeah, I can’t really eat that stuff. It’s just not rare enough for me!” Yeah. That answer totally wouldn’t give anything away at all!

“Really.”

“Really! That’s why I get it myself, and get the fun shit over here!” By this point, the checkout beeping had died down.

“Look, I don’t actually care. I just need you to-”

“Oh, I already paid when I got here!”

The cashier blinked for a few seconds, staring blankly at the other, before clicking some buttons on the machine. “Huh. Guess the machine was glitching or something.” With that, they handed the bag over to Schmitty, and bade it goodnight. So far, this trip was going off without a hitch!

Unfortunately, when Schmitty got outside again, there was no uber waiting, and it had no spare cash left to cover one in the first place. She scanned the parking lot for something, and her eyes landed on a small, worn out car. Without thinking much of it, she bounded over towards the car, finding it to be surprisingly unlocked. It was almost too good to be true! It had been a while since the last time Schmitty had driven, but it was so sure it would figure it out in no time, and there was no better time to learn like the present!

The car was definitely a lot more…technological than the last one Schmitty had driven, but it still had a steering wheel! And breaks! And a seat! That would totally be enough to get her home! Almost as soon as Schmitty was seated, she pressed the power button, and pulled down on a lever until hearing it click. Without much care at all, she slammed down on the gas pedal, feeling the car blast back until it hit something. The collision was more than enough for Schmitty to feel whatever it had hit fly back. She cautiously took her foot off the gas pedal, too surprised to check on what exactly it had just rammed into.

“Okay, clearly that didn’t work.” Schmitty grasped the steering wheel, just staring ahead for a few seconds. It managed to loosen its grip slightly, and began to reach for the lever once again.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

Almost immediately, Schmitty screamed, once again slamming on the gas. Whoever had just appeared in the car didn’t seem too happy about this.

“Jesus Christ, just put the car in park for god’s sake!”

“Yeah…I can totally do that…” Schmitty let out an awkward chuckle, letting her eyes wander down towards the controls.

“At least keep your eyes on the fucking road!” The stranger rolled his eyes, gesturing to a button with a giant ‘P’ on it. Schmitty quickly nodded and pressed the button, feeling the car begin to slow down. “Have you even driven a car before?”

“Of course I have!” Schmitty shrugged, making the terrible decision to go on. “Well, I haven’t since they were invented, but I’ve still driven before!”

That sure caused a silence that went on for way too long. Eventually, the newcomer took a long breath, looking Schmitty square in the eyes.

“Look, clearly you’re high as balls right now, so I’m gonna say this really slowly.”

“Uh, actually I’m pretty sober right now.”

“YOU COULD’VE FUCKING KILLED ME” Schmitty flinched, still not breaking away from the stranger. She almost saw a faint red begin to tint his transparent form. Was he even this clear before? In an instant, Schmitty tuned back in to the other’s tirade. “I swear to god, I should have you arrested for attempted manslaughter! I mean, I don’t even know how I’m okay right now!”

That was when Schmitty’s eyes caught the rearview mirror. The sight was incomprehensible, but there was no mistaking it for anything else. It stared at the bloodied and mangled mess of flesh and fabric before staring back at who she assumed was formerly inhabiting said mess.

“Okay, one: l legally don’t exist, and I’m pretty sure I’m dead on all records, so it’ll be a bit tricky to put me in jail. And two: you may wanna see this.” Schmitty gestured to the image in the mirror.

“The fuck do you mean you don’t exist? Are you like some kind of-” That’s when the stranger saw it. He immediately cut himself off, that red tint immediately getting stronger. “You fucking killed me! I can’t fucking believe it! Some freak comes in the middle of the night and then KILLS ME WITH MY OWN FUCKING CAR!”

“Hey, hey! Clearly, we got off on the wrong foot-”

“Yeah, no fucking shit.”

“-So why don’t we start over?” As if not paying any attention to the other’s interjection, she extended a hand. “Hi! I’m Schmitty!” Unfortunately, the only thing it got in response was a choked up groan from the stranger, who had resumed staring at his own destroyed corpse.

“You…you think this is all so funny, don’t you?”

“Of course not! I don’t exactly mean to kill anyone. As long as they’re not forcing themselves in my space, or anything.”

“Okay, that’s it!” The stranger sighed leaning back for a moment. “Just take the car and leave me the fuck alone. And be sure to actually turn the gear shift down to drive.”

Before Schmitty could ask any questions, the other was gone. Now it was just up to her and the very limited set of context clues that she had. It carefully pulled the gearshift down to the D, and took off, way too eager to get home before sunup. She tried to ignore the dull tugging feeling on her neck, but it became a thousand times harder too once the stranger Schmitty had just been talking to flew right into the passenger seat. She very quickly swerved, just managing to only scratch a wire fence.

“Hey, what the fuck was that? You could’ve gotten us killed!”

“Okay, you’re already dead, and there’s no way that that would’ve killed me either!” Schmitty paused, just long enough to remember how to park. “What are you doing back here?”

“Why do you think I know this? And the fuck do you mean that ‘that wouldn’t have killed you?’”

“Look, it takes a lot more than a car crash to off the undead.” Schmitty shrugged, glancing up and down at the other. “And the looks of it, you’re probably bound to the car or something in it.” Without meaning to, it brought up its hand, lightly rubbing the weird spot on its neck.

“What does any of that even mean?” Schmitty opened her mouth to respond, but was immediately cut off. “And just give me one answer at a time: Are you fucking serious about the whole being undead thing?”

“Why the fuck wouldn’t I be?” At this point, Schmitty was fully gesturing towards her mouth, fangs now in full view. “I mean, come on! I was dropping hints left and right!”

“Okay…just gonna move past the fact that I’m trapped in a car with a bloodthirsty vampire!”

“Hey! I’ve still got another week before I need to feed again! And besides, I couldn’t take your blood, even if I wanted to, remember?”

“You know, those reminders aren’t exactly helping.”

“Good to know! Any other questions?” Schmitty flashed her potential new friend a smirk. It got a slight eye roll in response.

“Yeah, actually! What the fuck did you mean I’m bound to something?”

“Damn, I thought you’d at least know about that since humans can’t seem to stop using this in their stories.” Schmitty muttered the comment just loud enough for Cookie to hear. She took a breath before going on. “Look, not all ghosts pass on. Some of them have something tying them down to this plane, either a place, an object, or a perso…oh shit.” Schmitty trailed off, finally realizing what exactly that tugging feeling was.

“Oh god, you cannot be fucking serious.” Clearly, the stranger had picked up on what Schmitty was thinking immediately.

“So…I think now would be a good time for me to get your name?” All Schmitty got in response was a ‘hmph,’ but that wouldn’t be enough to break its concentration. It kept staring at the other, until finally, he gave in.

“It’s Cookie.”

“Well then, I guess we’re gonna be spending a lot of time together, Cookie!”

“Ugh, please don’t remind me,” Cookie groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “It’s bad enough that you killed me with my fucking car.”

“Oh, so we’re still on that, then?”

“Uh, yeah?” Cookie almost let out a scoff. “What’s gonna happen when the cops learn about this? What about my family? And my cats?”

“We’ll figure it out! Seems easy enough to just go and talk to them. We just need to break the news gently!”

“You sure about that?”

“Nah, not really.” Somehow, that nonchalant tone continued to ring through Schmitty’s words. “How about we just go to my place to come up with a plan?”

“It’s not like I have a choice.” Cookie had barely moved at all over the last few seconds. He simply levitated over the chair. “Just, please let me sit here and mourn in silence until we get there.”

“‘Course! I’ve just got one question.” Cookie opened an eye in response.

“Oh god, what is it?”

“Why were you wearing cat ears at 3 in the morning?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up!”

#jackbox #you don’t know jack #josh schmitty schmitstinstein #ydkj #cookie masterson #vampires #ghosts #major character death #major character undeath #mild gore #jackbox fanfiction #schmookie #storytime with schmitty

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nardonotes · 5 months ago

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16 sep '24

8:18pm

IM SO TIRED!!!!! MY BODY HURTS!!!!!!!! I WANT TO SLEEP BUT I ALSO HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO DO!!!!!!!!!! (ᴗ_ ᴗ。) but today my alarm woke me up at 7am but i stayed in bed till 7:40... i slept well too and had a crazy dream but i forgot what happened,,, i just rmbr it being crazy (good-ish?) to the point where i wanted to go back to sleep to finish it but ended up just forcing myself out of bed,, fufufuff~ and THEN i went to class :< which is actually a :> cause it was fun! i did some black and white designs for design class and the two hours passed by so fast,, after that i had a 3 hrs break and just walked home, rest for a bit, then went out to town to send my cv to this photo printing shop (fujifilm) for my work experience. they said they dont usually take work experience (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) but it's ok cause i have two other places i can apply for work experience (it's mandatory in my course) i been going to fujifilm for years now, literally since it opened too, they know my name and email off by heart cause i always get my film develop there so i really hope they let me in!!!! it's only till christmas sniff.... BUT ANYWAYS, after i gave them that- i went to buy a sketchbook cause my lecturer said it would be a good idea just to have one where i can draw whatever and i bought one (1) pencil LOL.

then had a 2 hours class right after, but it was chill. nothing too serious and just worked on updating my cv and cover letter :3 after class, I WENT HOME AND ATE :D i dont usually like chicken but THIS CHICKEN WAS REALLY FUCKING GOOD MAN,,, i had it with rice and it was so filling. and while i was washing my dishes, my sisters arrived home and AFTER THEY ate,, we went to the park with my sisters friend and her baby. he's so big now sniff,, i rmbr when he was literally a few months old and tiny af. now he looks about 3 years old but hes only 1 years old. they're leaving to live in amsterdam in a month or two and it's so sad cause i only just got closer to her. it's ok tho cause amsterdam is close enough, and her parents still live here so she'll be in and out i think :)) we got gelato before going home and i got kinder bueno flavoured (THE LAST SCOOP TOO) it was so good. i dont usually eat ice cream out of the blue like that, i usually get a drink instead but since it was just a scoop i had some.

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

what a long ass day fr,, i know im going to sleep good tonight too. i bought Notes of a Crocodile, The Analects of Confucius, and The Temple of the Golden Pavilion on my kobo (ereader). I do plan to buy the physical copies of all three, but not right now and it was just cheaper to buy it on the ereader.. I've read a few chapters of the temple of the golden pavilion before but never continued but my bestiana spoiled the ending and now i want to finish it bc the ending was a good ahh ending (imo). i can't wait to read before i sleep tonight,, reading so fun huhuhhu..... (⸝⸝⸝╸▵╺⸝⸝⸝)

these days, i've been really into my lil tech stuff again and i really want to homebrew a ps vita. i homebrewed my old nintendo 3ds but sold it for a [REDACTED] reason lol. i think a ps vita is cooler anyways. i also been really into micro journalling and coding. btw i cant code but i do like listening to ppl talk about coding and what they've coded. i wish i was smart enough to do allat.. i think i could if i really put my heart to it but right now i'm really liking my course. ill probably talk about it some more in the future but for now, i have written a fucking book and nobody reading allat!!! so im going to do my little me time before bed time and then go to sleep ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

goodnight to me, and my precious bed, and my precious favourite girl in the world and and and- [GUNSHOTS]

#nardo24 #nardo sep '24

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gluteus-canis-familiaris · 1 year ago

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art post . 16

It's been two years since I've seen home. Two years.

where do I begiiiiin I meant to post this piece at least 3 separate times in the past and just kept passing it up out of laziness (??) anxiety (??) akdsjhfkjsdahfj first was when I finished it around last Christmas, then I decided to postpone it for the day of my last 24 hour shift in the hospital, then graduation, then for BoB Week 2023-- and now here we are on a pretty arbitrary weekend in August!!!

anyway, the point of this was just to scream thank you to history, Doc Roe, and Shane Taylor for getting me through so many hurdles on my medical journey (especially that one all-nighter with too many crying newborns), and to celebrate what is now nearly my 11th year in the fandom!

I ultimately posted it this weekend because We Happy Few 506 suddenly put up the entire 2021 reunion interview of Shane Taylor, Lucie Jeanne, and so many other wonderful guests on Youtube and I devoured it IMMEDIATELY (link here, most important parts are at 1:10:45 and 1:45:36 IM DYING SLEDGE I HATE MATTHEW LEITCH SO MUCH HAHAHA) and am now still recovering from the sheer amount of emotion that we still have things like this more than 20 years after the show was released :(((((

random cross and paratrooper wings nabbed from google! but damn I wanna do that for all of my art from now on idk why I never thought to do it before

doc roe's red nose had to be highlighted, that is all, goodnight

#my art #band of brothers #eugene roe #doc roe #shane taylor #and his red nose!!!#honestly (???)#the love of my life #--probably... (because COMMITMENT)#here's to a lifetime of more bad coffee and a better understanding of plasma and to sharper scissors!!!

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finyx7733 · 8 months ago

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06/09/24

Affirmations: I am worthy of love I am capable of great things I am not a burden I am made of stardust and magick

How do I feel physically today? I feel bloated and crampy…My body aches and I am stiff and sore and all I want to do is lay in bed with a heating pad but I have so much I have to do today that doing that isn't an option. Maybe once I get stuff done I can do that. I also don't feel like a human today…I'm dissociating kind of bad today.

Am I intellectually stimulated? I feel a little out of my head today, but I'm going to look up information on paganism. Its something I'm really interested in and I want to have as much information. I also am going to write a bit of my story today. I feel inspired.

How do I feel emotionally today? I'm okay today I am depersonalizing so I don't feel like a human. It's like I'm on the outside of my body watching myself do things. It's a really weird feeling.

How do I feel spiritually today? I feel good spiritually, this morning I made a cup of tea and I stirred in my intentions, I am manifesting a good day.

Yesterday Mimi, Marie and I went to town along with Marie's two babies a 2-year-old K and a 3-month-old A. Since I live in such a rural area (we don't even have phone service unless we are home connected to the wi-fi) to get to a city we have to drive 1.5 hours away. The trip there wasn't so bad, the kids were very well-behaved for how young they are and it pretty much went off without a hitch but it was a long day we left at 8 am and didn't get home until around 7 pm. So it was a long long day.

Today I have housework to do, I've made myself a chore list to do while Mimi is at work so on Sundays I clean the bathroom. On days that she is off, I don't plan any chores in case we decide to go and do something together.

I don't feel like a person today, I was diagnosed with depersonalization-derealization disorder. Depersonalization is the feeling of being disconnected from oneself, while derealization is the feeling that the environment is unreal. When it happens to me I don't feel like I'm a human, my arms and legs look like they aren't real, and I feel this disconnect from the world around me as if I am watching myself from outside my body. Almost as if what is happening to me is happening on a movie screen. It's an odd sensation. I've tried running my hands under cold water to ground myself, but it didn't work. So I guess I just have to ride it out until I feel better.

I did however get up make my bed, I brush my teeth and got dressed. I know I'm not going anywhere today but if I sit in my pajamas all day I feel like I'm not being productive. I vacuumed and decluttered the bedroom, and now all I have to do is the bathroom and I'll be finished.

I'm going to do some research and get the ball rolling, I think it's important for me to understand my mental illnesses and how to cope with them. Its just been really hard to focus but I feel like today can be my day. I ended up doing research all day and I got a lot of really good stuff. I feel like I managed to accomplish a lot even though I've been dissociating really bad all day. Overall today was a success! I'm off to bed goodnight! <3 fi

#bpd #mental health #borderline personality disorder #bipolor #mental illness #depersonalization/derealization disorder

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madaboutmunson · 2 years ago

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Again - Part 24 - The End

Part 1 | Part 23 | Full list of Again series links inc AO3 Link

Steddie fic where Steve and Eddie are in their mid 30's and everyone has sort of drifted apart

Notes: We made it! All the way to the end. A big thank you to everyone that makes it this far. I know there are thousands of other fics you could be reading, and I am honored you take the time out to read mine. This is the longest fic I've ever written, and I'm gonna miss writing these versions of the characters. I hope youve enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it and reading your thoughts on it :)

Taglist: @adaed5 @grtwdsmwhr @swimmingbirdrunningrock @mightbeasleep, @jewellthebooknerd, @fentiibratzz @rvllybllply2014

================================================

The next few weeks, they fall into a happy routine. Every day starts with a breakfast tray with two oat shakes and half of Steve’s meds. Eddie hated it at first, but the novelty of toppings made him grow to love them.

Depending on the day, Eddie either goes through the exercise routine with Steve or if he has to go to work, Wayne coaches him through it, occasionally taking part himself.

Then Steve checks in with the builders to see how Wayne’s mini ranch house is coming along further out on the land. Wayne never complains if anything is wrong or not to his original requests, but Steve has been busy deciphering the eyebrow and sigh slash grumble code with Eddie’s expert knowledge, and he’s almost got it down to a fine art.

The kids were to stay at Jenny and Val’s for a few more weeks, but Steve called them every day once they were home from school.

Their evenings always end the same way. Wayne bids them goodnight and goes back to the RV, then Eddie and Steve build their living room fort together, and Steve got the front seat tonight. So that means Eddie has TV control. He selects a music DVD and talks through the meanings behind the songs or some random factoids that Steve probably wouldn’t remember. Still, he could watch Eddie talk enthusiastically about mostly anything. The way his eyes widen and sparkle, they either stare intensely at the screen or Steve, his one hand always at Steve's chest, the other wildly gesticulating around. Maybe a cushion falls victim to it on occasion.

“You got any plans tomorrow, babe?” Eddie asks happily.

“Other than beating my exercise personal bests and kissing you….hmmm….nope,” Steve answers.

“Awww, Steve, do you have a lil’ crush on me?” Eddie jokes, fluttering his eyelashes and grabbing one of Steve’s hands in each of his own.

“I guess you could say that. I think you’re alright, you know? Kinda cute. Tolerable,” Steve teases and is immediately jostled from side to side by Eddie's knees.

“Kinda cute? Tolerable? Ooof, am I losing my charm? Do I need to revert to my nerdy ways and grow my hair out?” Eddie pretends to be devastated and flops forward on Steve’s shoulder in mock defeat.

“I love you, you stupid ass.” Steve laughs, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and snuggling backwards into him more.

"You sure about that? Like one hundred per cent, sure? No take backsies? If destroyed still true forever?" Eddie mutters softly as he nuzzles against his cheek and ear. Steve turns slightly to look into his eyes.

"Yes." Steve answers with a gentle smile of adoration, "Of course. Without a shadow of a doubt. To the end of the universe and back. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year, twenty-four hours a day. I absolutely, one hundred per cent adore you. I love you." Steve kisses him softly to seal his declaration, and this is where Eddie normally bundles him up in his arms somehow, and they kiss and melt into one another for hours until it's time to sleep.

But not tonight.

Tonight Eddie gets up and changes the DVD he puts on The Breakfast Club. Steve admires his tattooed topless form as he moves. He looks stronger still these days. Steve wonders if that is to do with Eddie falling into his exercise and eating regime. His jeans still slouch a little around his tiny waist, which Steve has also noted has developed a slight squidginess of content. Eddie complains about it, but Steve loves it. It means he's happy here. Eddie returns and sits back behind Steve as the film starts.

"It's good, you know," Eddie says happily as he reaches for his hands again, leans forward and wraps both sets of their arms around Steve again.

"What is? the movie?" Steve asks, a little confused.

Eddie laughs, "Well, like, everything, but specifically that you love me so much."

"Eddie, did you eat some special brownies today? You're talking in riddles. I love you every day. You love me every day. Why is it any different tonight?"

"Because otherwise, this would be silly of me" Their joined hands that had been draped around him go to Eddie's jeans pocket, and Steve can feel something gripped in their joined fingers, and it's lifted in front of his eyes a black box. Eddie's thumb flicks open the lid, and inside are two silver rings.

At first glance, they look like two plain silver bands, which is beautiful enough, but as Eddie twists the box for him, he begins to see their hammered texture. Steve uses his hand to lift the box when he notices the same word engraved on the inside of each "Aeternum".

"Hey, calm down, love. I don't want heart-monitor-Max’s spidey sense setting off wherever she is, bursting in here and kicking my ass," Eddie says with a smile in his voice, tapping their joined hands against the centre of Steve's chest delicately. Steve is so surprised he hasn't realised his heart rate has picked up, but he feels the deep thuds now. He feels Eddie's chest rise and fall against his back, and he attempts to match it to calm himself. "Don't worry. This isn't my proposal. You know, I'd never do something like that as quietly as this. This is…uh…a just-the-facts ring" Eddie lets out a soft laugh next to Steve's ear.

Steve wishes it was just the surprise making his heart pound, but it wasn't. It was fear. He's afraid he doesn't deserve this, not after what he did. "You're awful quiet with your words there, sweetheart," Eddie says with a hint of worry, and Steve shuts his eyes for a moment. Trying to compose himself.

"After what I did?" Steve asks, afraid to use too many words in case he ruins everything with another tearful display.

"Steve, please, not tonight," Eddie pleads glumly."We're done with all that. We're doing all the things we need to."

Steve deflates in Eddie's arms momentarily, "I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm trying."

Eddie clears his throat. "Well, technically, I got these before any of that happened. So, uh, I wanted to give you this before and after." Steve can hear the smile in his voice, and it's causing a twisted pain in him. He knows Eddie means well and wants to play pretend like it hadn't happened. Steve remembers Eddie sitting opposite him in the kitchen, how he told him he didn't deserve Steve's love, and if this was what he felt like at the time, Steve regrets not being more patient, but Eddie had tried for Steve, and so he must do the same now.

"Why didn't you get ones like your other rings?" Steve asks, and he feels Eddie snuggle up to him a little more, happy for his effort.

"I wanted something special. I wanted them to be like us. A mixture of moments of perfection and imperfection, but it's glaringly obvious they belong together," Eddie says with a hint of excitement. Steve untangles their fingers on both hands, leaving Eddie holding the box in his eye line, and finds the one finger of Eddie's that has no ring adorning it.

Steve carefully takes a ring out of the box and slides the ring onto Eddie's finger, then kisses the back of his hand. As he reaches for the other ring, Eddie softly bumps his fingers out of the way, takes Steve's hand in his, and puts the ring on for him. He kisses the back of Steve's hand and then his temple, "I'll love you for all eternity," Eddie whispers as he casts aside the box, weaves their fingers back together, and moves their hands back where they were.

"And I, you," Steve replies softly, unable to take his eyes off him. He amazed him. How could something that made so much sense right now have at one time seemed entirely impossible? At one time, he thought there was no way Eddie could love him back, and yet here they are wrapped up together, shacked up together, making promises until the end of time together, "So much, honey." He pauses, taking a few breaths, "I'm sorry, Eddie."

"How many times, Steve! Stop saying sorry." Eddie kisses him as if to swallow up his unwanted apologies.

"Oh, I'm not apologising for that," Steve says, getting to his feet and hoisting Eddie up with him, who looks puzzled but smiles all the same, especially when he finds himself wrapped up in Steve's arms, being gently swayed to some non-existent music, as Steve's gentle eyes gaze sleepily into his.

"No? Then what are you apologising for?" Eddie inquires. Though his voice is soft, his words trail away, completely distracted by what is happening between them.

"Because I'm impatient, honey, and because if I love you any more, I'm certain my heart would explode," Steve's eyes swim with fondness as they trail over Eddie's features, as he tilts his head to the side in adorable confusion, "Eddie?" Steve says softly.

"Yeah?" Eddie mutters as he leans against his love, their bodies pressed together so no glimmer of light can get between them.

"Eddie Munson. That's a nice name. You like it?" Steve asks softly, his mouth barely an inch for Eddie's. Their eyes have yet to glance away from one another.

Eddie laughs softly, "I don't mind it, I guess. You like yours, Steve Harrington?"

"I guess," Steve replies dreamily, a smile creeping over his face, "Edward Munson?" Steve asks again, making Eddie's smile stretch into a grin and giggle.

"Yes, Steven Harrington," he says, looking a little confused but happy regardless. Steve readjusts his arms so one wraps around Eddie's back, pulling him in close, and the other reaches up to cradle the back of his neck.

"Will you marry me?" Steve asks in a whisper. Even with knowing how deeply Eddie adores him, it is still a genuine question. Eddie's eyes sparkle as they well up, but they crease at the corners as his smile widens and he nods his head a few times.

"Yeah." Eddie answers, his voice cracking, "Yeah, I think I will." He beams and kisses Steve tenderly. Eddie tucks some of Steve's hair behind his ear as they part, "I love this for us, baby, but you know I can't let this be it, though, right?"

"I know." Steve smiles with understanding.

Over the next few weeks, it was a competition of who could propose to who in the grandest way, and each time they'd pretend to be nervous, even though they already knew the answer.

Eddie calls up a national radio station and gets them to prank Steve with a competition win just so he can propose to him live on air.

Steve hires a skywriter to propose to Eddie when he brings him his lunch at work.

Eddie interrupts a parent-teacher meeting and proposes to Steve playing his BC Rich Warlock through a portable amp, singing "Will you marry me?" to the tune of We Will Rock You. He even gets everyone else in the room to do the stomps and claps.

Steve buys a page in Rolling Stone magazine to propose to Eddie.

Eddie proposes right at the end of an elaborate scavenger hunt they put on after a massive party that everyone is invited to at their house. Steve declares him the winner after that one. Eddie claims his super secret prize when everyone else has gone home later that night.

With same-sex marriage still not legal in the state, they decided there was little point organising anything, but as far as they, their loved ones and anyone bothered enough to ask knew, They were as good as married, and they never referred to one another in conversation as anything less than Husband. If either of them got a hint that it bothered anyone they were talking to, they just talked about their husband more.

***************************************************************

Their first Halloween together is a full-blown production. With a blank cheque at his disposal, Eddie goes hog wild with the kids, making the whole place into a house of horrors. Eddie told everyone to keep it on the cartoony side of things and expressly forbade any jump scares or smoke machines in the house. He said it was tacky, and everyone did that. He didn't want their house to be the same as the next. But Steve knew he'd done it for him so he could enjoy everything without fear of flashbacks. Eddie even hooked up his guitar to play the theme tunes of the trick-or-treater's costumes. Steve dressed as Dr Van Helsing, and Eddie as the infamous Count Dracula. Morgan and Mackenzie opt for Princess Fiona and Shrek (sporting his prize-winning pie rosette), and after much aggressive and whiny persuasion from Corey, Wayne agrees to Agent Smith from The Matrix to complement his Neo outfit.

That night Steve mainly watches. He converses with other parents from the neighbourhood about school topics, but his eyes fall back to the same thing. Eddie. But a specific Eddie. An Eddie with his heart full of unbridled joy. Whether he was running around chasing after kids Corey's age with his fake plastic fangs bared, regaling a group of teens around a small fire pit with a story so terrifying an occasional audible squeal would ring out, or handing out the gift bags of full-size treats and toys with the hugest toothy smile on his face. But what absolutely kills Steve is the little witch, crying her eyes out in the middle of the lawn.

She must be around two or three, Steve guesses, clinging onto a little bucket full of candy, but she's looking around like she's lost something. She tugs on the back of Eddie's cape, and as he turns, he kneels. She takes a step back in fright. He takes out his fangs and shows her he is nothing to fear. He even wipes a finger across his makeup, showing her it's all pretend. She mimics him swiping her on her own finger across his face, and Eddie smiles gently at her, listening and nodding intently as the little girl talks. He asks her something, she nods, and he hoists her up onto his hip, cradling her to his side, and pointing and turning around, constantly checking in with her, making her giggle as she twists the curled ends of his hair in her fingers until a flustered woman runs up and thanks Eddie profusely. He just shrugs, waves them goodbye and pops his teeth back in.

"Everythin' ok, Sunny?" Wayne's deep drawl breaks Steve's focus.

"Yeah, just I dunno." Steve looks at the ground. His voice is a little sad, "Doesn't seem fair." he sighs, looking back at Eddie. Wayne's eyes follow his line of sight, and his mouth parts slightly, maybe in surprise. Perhaps his own sadness presents itself silently this way because Wayne doesn't have the right words for a change, "I just think he would have been great at it."

There is a beat of silence, "You asked him?"

Steve shakes his head, "No. Wanted to a bunch of times. Just can never quite figure out how." Wayne hums in understanding and pats Steve on the back, leaving him to look longingly at his husband as he thumbs at the only ring on his fingers. Eddie senses him as always, turns and gives him a gigantic grin, gesturing at the festivities around him, before blowing Steve a kiss, which he catches out of the air and puts in his pocket, making Eddie roll his eyes and laugh, before heading back to the next lot of trick or treaters.

***************************************************************

A month later, the house's energy is at a fever pitch. Tonight Steve had taken Eddie out. First, to the local premiere of The Fellowship of the Ring so that Eddie could watch it with a room full of people, but then surprises him when he asks if he wants to stay behind and watch it one more time, just the two of them. Of course, Eddie nearly spontaneously combusted on the spot, having no idea Steve had arranged a second surprise viewing for him. Steve doesn't think he'll ever forget how happy Eddie looked in that moment or how many times he'd clench his fists with excitement and then turn and kiss Steve, babbling happily about something he didn't quite catch the first time around.

He was so easy to fall for. Steve could do that every day over and over. Like breathing. Like he was built to do this. To love Eddie. Forever.

Steve doesn't usually make it through a standard-length film, let alone one of this length. Twice. Not without yawning or nearly falling asleep. But the second time around, he only partially watches the screen. Most of the time, he's watching his own blockbuster, a cast of one, Eddie. He watched his eyes with wrinkles at the corners, full to the brim with childlike wonder. Tapping Steve's hand when something comes up that is slightly different in the book, whispering the secret information to him. Even after it's over, Eddie is still full of energy, gushing about how things on screen were like they fell out of his mind, and that's when he sees it. Amid the chill winter wind, a family is dressed up like some of the characters in the movie. A wizard, an elf and held by both of them in the middle, as someone snaps a picture is a baby in a waistcoat and trousers, curls falling around their face, and for the first time tonight, Eddie's smile falls for a second, as he looks over at them, but as soon as he turns to Steve the smile is back again. He twists his ring around his finger, feeling over its texture.

Tonight, Steve was going to ask him.

***************************************************************

Steve turns over and opens his eyes. His bed covers have long since been thrown off in the heat. He runs his hand over the empty bed beside him, sighs, rolls over to stare at the ceiling, and checks the time. It's just gone three in the morning. He swings his legs over the side of the bed, steps into his slippers, decides it's much too hot to put on his robe, and picks up his water. He quietly pads downstairs, walks into a kitchen strewn with bottles, adds his water bottle to the mix, and smiles. He tip-toes to the lounge. The lights are set to their lowest dim, and he can hear a faint voice. He moves closer towards it, staying as silent as he possibly can. Steve's eyes find their target in the low light, Eddie’s topless form pacing around the living room, still softly muttering. He is oblivious to his presence, focusing on something else entirely. Unfortunately, Steve is so entranced by the scene he accidentally bumps into an end table, sending a plush bat rattling to the floor.

Eddie turns to him, whispering, "Not a ninja, Sweetheart". With his cover blown, Steve freely approaches, sweetly scoops in behind him, arms around his waist as he gently nuzzles into the side of his hair, but Eddie's hands don't find his.

"You gonna be much longer? Need anything?" Steve quietly asks next to his ear.

"Nah, I'm good, babe. Just had to find the right song. Seems to have settled things down." Eddie yawns, and Steve looks at his tired but unmistakably happy face. For a second, his eyes look up into Steve's, "Didn't think I'd ever be here, babe. I know things are a little different these days, but I love you just as much," he chuckles and looks down, "Even more some days, you know that, right?"

"Of course," Steve says, leaning over Eddie's shoulder to look down too. In his arms, a beautiful baby girl, a short set of dark ringlet curls adorn her head, her sweet round cheeks rosy from the heat, her long eyelashes rest on her skin as she slumbers sweetly against Eddie's chest, "I'll just bide my time and make her life hell when she's old enough to want to sleep in." Steve jokes and presses a soft sleepy kiss to Eddie's cheek, "What song was it tonight?"

"Through the Never," Eddie beams at Eowyn, "Are you collecting these songs or something?"

"Right now, she's stealing your sleep and my time with you, which I don't blame her for, but that doesn't mean when she hits, I dunno, thirteen and sleep becomes precious to her that her old Dads aren't gonna wake her up blaring a mix CD of all the songs that stole their own." Steve smiles.

"Wow, what happened to sweet old dad Steve?" Eddie jokes.

"I'm still as sweet as ever," Steve kisses Eddie's shoulder, "I'm just trying to arm myself. Wayne's been telling me all about what a cakewalk you were when you hit puberty," he says sarcastically. "And also…" Steve plants a trail of kisses along Eddie's shoulder and up his neck to his ear, "It's pretty lonely up there for sweet old dad Steve, you know?" He whispers playfully, squeezing Eddie's hips gently. "What do you say l go wash up the bottles, prep the next one, and tidy up here? You can get this little one back in her own very expensive custom-made upcycled Fender guitar cot that her Daddy absolutely had to have, and then you can get your sweet self back in ours, huh?" Steve pecks a kiss on his cheek, "And then I'm gonna slide in next to you, and we're gonna pass out on one another with exhaustion until her Royal Highness calls for us again."

"My god, Steve. You say the sexiest, most accurate things." Eddie laughs and kisses him on the cheek, "I love you."

"Love you too, honey."

***************************************************************

The house is chaos.

"Well, WHERE THE HELL IS IT???" Eddie screeches, jogging from room to room before he's stopped abruptly by the sudden appearance of the twins in the doorway.

"Daddy, which one of us do you think is taller?" Ozzy asks, scrunching up his freckled nose.

"Neither of you. You're the same height!" He pauses to look, "Almost exactly, in fact, now, if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I have a vital ancient artefact to find."

"Can we help? We're good at finding things!" Ronnie looks up at him with his wide hazel eyes. Eddie eyes them suspiciously, crouches down and ruffles their hair.

"No, what I really need you to do is get your hats and sunglasses and the things you want to play with in the RV. Then use the bathroom and line up next to the door. Maybe help Beans get her things together, too,' Kay?" He smiles, gets back to his feet, and runs to the foot of the stairs, almost going flying over a suitcase that slides into his path, but he hurdles it at the last moment.

"Almost, Damn it!" Is a whispered voice, "Sorry, Eddie!" Corey calls out much louder with a slight laugh.

"You gotta be quicker than that, buddy. Line up in ten Cor’,'" Eddie says, shaking his head and laughing, before reaching the foot of the stairs and yelling up them through cupped hands, "Wyn, Morgan and Zee, line up in…nine minutes, and if you see my old iPod bring that with you, please!" He drops his hands, "Nearly there." He whispers to himself.

The front door swings open and in bursts, a Bermuda-shorted, Hawaiian-shirted, wayfarer-sporting Steve. "RV check all done, full tank of gas, road snacks stocked, we're good to go!" He grins.

"And the map?" Eddie looks at him wide-eyed.

"What map?" Steve tilts his head, and just before Mount Eddie erupts, he pulls it from his back pocket and wiggles it at him, "All ready for your plotting, my love. Oh, Jenny, Val, and Mariella are gonna meet us at the first scheduled stop, so if you find something before that, drop them a message way in advance. Jen is already gonna be sweltering in his heat in the third trimester, so please, no last-minute changes because otherwise, she might lose it entirely."

Eddie's tense shoulders drop, and he takes a minute to rush over, fling his arms around him for a kiss, and mutters into his collar, "This place is hell, babe. Full chaotic evil!"

"Wanna switch for a bit?" Steve offers, rubbing his hands over Eddie's back.

"I wanna say yes, but too much has happened in the thirty minutes you were gone, and I'm not sure I have the energy or time to go over the new storylines, babe," Eddie pouts.

"How about this? You sit here." Steve pulls a chair to the front door and guides him to it, "You supervise. Ok? That way, you get to take a breath and make sure I don't miss anything at the same time?" Eddie nods sweetly.

Steve picks up his megaphone from the doorway, and Eddie covers his ears, ready for the inevitable feedback when Steve switches it on, "Kids, cases, journey items at the door in…" he releases the button and looks at Eddie who checks his watch and holds up four fingers. Steve presses the button again and bellows through it. "Four minutes! Don't forget chargers, and to use the bathroom, we won't be making a stop for…" he turns to Eddie, who holds up two fingers, "Two hours. And may I remind you all that Uncle Dustin and Aunt Erica will eat all the ice cream if they get there before us. Uncle Jonathan wants to take a big group photo this year, so please make sure you have something suitable for that. I mean it, Corey! One non-heavy metal or unoffensive t-shirt wouldn't kill you." He clicks off the megaphone again, turns to Eddie excitedly grinning from ear to ear, and starts singing and dancing to his rendition of Madonna's Holiday.

Eddie smiles and shakes his head with a chuckle, "Why do we do this to ourselves every year?"

"Ah, I know this one…Because we love our friends and family?" Steve says with a grin, which immediately drops from his face into panic, and Eddie is out of his chair.

"Oh, what, Steve?! What is it? Dear gods, just one year where we leave on time," Eddie says, hands in his hair.

Steve looks horrified, "I um…I think…I kinda…yeah…I forgot Wayne at the gas station."

Eddie's eyes widen, "How did you even do that, Steve?!" He gasps frantically, pulling his phone from his pocket.

"He's just so quiet sometimes! I didn't mean to leave him. I was thinking about all the other hundred things I needed to check, honey!" Steve complains.

"You lost a full-grown man, babe. This is a new low for you." Eddie says, pacing as he holds the phone up to his ear.

The All along the Watchtower ringtone is coming from somewhere nearby, and they both frantically look around for it before Wayne's head appears around the door frame, "Bumped into Ms Monterello, she gave me a ride back, Sunny." He chuckles deeply, and Steve practically throws his arms around him.

"Oh, you've saved my bacon there, Pops" Steve smiles with relief, patting Wayne on the back.

Morgan and Zee appear at the door first, as always, "Do we have to do this every year?" Morgan complains with his much deeper voice, Zee hanging off his arm.

"Yeah, yeah, we do, actually, Mister fancy college pants, we do. Steve here has already lost a whole human, and we watch Home Alone every Christmas as a warning. This is why we do the lineup."

The kids fall in line, the count is correct, the humongous RV gets packed with people and luggage, and Morgan and Zee get in her car with the excess and Beans.

Steve does the final lock checks around the house with Eddie, and finally, they get into the front seats. Eddie opens the map in front of him, his little packet of different colour stars and flag stickers resting gently on top.

"Ok, guys, who got first dibs?" Eddie shouts, not looking up from his map but raising a hand with one finger extended upwards to retrieve the incoming CD from Corey. Eddie looks at it, "Ohhh, a classic from Cyborg. Nice!" And places it into the stereo.

"Everyone buckled in?" Steve shouts back and receives a chorus of Yeses. He picks up the walkie-talkie and presses the button, "Caboose! You all buckled up, tunes at the ready? Over."

"Yes! Let's go already!" Zee's impatient voice crackles out of the speaker.

“You didn’t say over. Over.” Steve says, confused.

“Dad, I swear….” there is a little whispering which Steve smugly knows is Morgan encouraging her to get on board, “Yes, we’re ready to go. Over!”

"Alright then, let's do this!" Steve says way too enthusiastically for the slow, gradual speed this great hulking vehicle leaves the driveway at.

Despite how crazy it is to organise and how far they have to drive to find a midpoint in the country to meet up with all their old friends from Hawkins that were now spread all over. Steve's heart is packed to the brim. He reaches one hand out to Eddie, who gives him his pinky finger as the rest of his hand is busy with stickers, as the heavy metal screams throughout the RV. He sighs happily to himself.

So yeah, Steve still loved being a Dad, but he also loved being a husband, an easy-going ex-husband, a best friend, a son-in-law, a future father-in-law, and a godfather. But more than anything, he loved the people around him that made him all those things.

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