#storytime with schmitty | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

warnerswilsons · 1 month ago

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Haven't Titled this but new fic time!

I've been planning out a vampire/ghost Schmookie au, and I finally wrote the opening chapter! It'll be crossposted on AO3 soon, but I wanted to send it here because I'm so proud of it.

Content warnings for major character death and undeath, and mild gore.

Schmitty had always found 3am to be the perfect time to go grocery shopping, and the 24-hour supermarket had never failed her in the past. As per usual, the parking lot was nearly empty once her uber arrived at the store, so it just proceeded as it would have on every other shopping trip. Before going through the doors, Schmitty took a moment to just take in the breeze surrounding her. Even though she was here to actually get shit done, there was no way she was going to waste the short time she’d spend outside for the day. It just wouldn’t be right! Still, she took this time to look over the crumpled, scrawled shopping list she’d been carrying, and made her way inside.

Thankfully, the shopping didn’t take that long this time. Schmitty had found everything that it needed within 20 minutes, and against its better judgment, headed towards the cash register. The poor cashier didn’t look like they wanted to be there at all.

“You having a party, or something?” The store employee just barely raised an eyebrow as they took note of the various snacks and junk food that made up the other’s grocery haul.

“Nah, I don’t really like ‘em all that much.” Schmitty shrugged, not at all acknowledging the deadpan stare it was given in return.

“You know we don’t just sell chips and canned shit, right? We’ve got a whole meat section open if you stop by earlier.”

“Yeah, I can’t really eat that stuff. It’s just not rare enough for me!” Yeah. That answer totally wouldn’t give anything away at all!

“Really.”

“Really! That’s why I get it myself, and get the fun shit over here!” By this point, the checkout beeping had died down.

“Look, I don’t actually care. I just need you to-”

“Oh, I already paid when I got here!”

The cashier blinked for a few seconds, staring blankly at the other, before clicking some buttons on the machine. “Huh. Guess the machine was glitching or something.” With that, they handed the bag over to Schmitty, and bade it goodnight. So far, this trip was going off without a hitch!

Unfortunately, when Schmitty got outside again, there was no uber waiting, and it had no spare cash left to cover one in the first place. She scanned the parking lot for something, and her eyes landed on a small, worn out car. Without thinking much of it, she bounded over towards the car, finding it to be surprisingly unlocked. It was almost too good to be true! It had been a while since the last time Schmitty had driven, but it was so sure it would figure it out in no time, and there was no better time to learn like the present!

The car was definitely a lot more…technological than the last one Schmitty had driven, but it still had a steering wheel! And breaks! And a seat! That would totally be enough to get her home! Almost as soon as Schmitty was seated, she pressed the power button, and pulled down on a lever until hearing it click. Without much care at all, she slammed down on the gas pedal, feeling the car blast back until it hit something. The collision was more than enough for Schmitty to feel whatever it had hit fly back. She cautiously took her foot off the gas pedal, too surprised to check on what exactly it had just rammed into.

“Okay, clearly that didn’t work.” Schmitty grasped the steering wheel, just staring ahead for a few seconds. It managed to loosen its grip slightly, and began to reach for the lever once again.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

Almost immediately, Schmitty screamed, once again slamming on the gas. Whoever had just appeared in the car didn’t seem too happy about this.

“Jesus Christ, just put the car in park for god’s sake!”

“Yeah…I can totally do that…” Schmitty let out an awkward chuckle, letting her eyes wander down towards the controls.

“At least keep your eyes on the fucking road!” The stranger rolled his eyes, gesturing to a button with a giant ‘P’ on it. Schmitty quickly nodded and pressed the button, feeling the car begin to slow down. “Have you even driven a car before?”

“Of course I have!” Schmitty shrugged, making the terrible decision to go on. “Well, I haven’t since they were invented, but I’ve still driven before!”

That sure caused a silence that went on for way too long. Eventually, the newcomer took a long breath, looking Schmitty square in the eyes.

“Look, clearly you’re high as balls right now, so I’m gonna say this really slowly.”

“Uh, actually I’m pretty sober right now.”

“YOU COULD’VE FUCKING KILLED ME” Schmitty flinched, still not breaking away from the stranger. She almost saw a faint red begin to tint his transparent form. Was he even this clear before? In an instant, Schmitty tuned back in to the other’s tirade. “I swear to god, I should have you arrested for attempted manslaughter! I mean, I don’t even know how I’m okay right now!”

That was when Schmitty’s eyes caught the rearview mirror. The sight was incomprehensible, but there was no mistaking it for anything else. It stared at the bloodied and mangled mess of flesh and fabric before staring back at who she assumed was formerly inhabiting said mess.

“Okay, one: l legally don’t exist, and I’m pretty sure I’m dead on all records, so it’ll be a bit tricky to put me in jail. And two: you may wanna see this.” Schmitty gestured to the image in the mirror.

“The fuck do you mean you don’t exist? Are you like some kind of-” That’s when the stranger saw it. He immediately cut himself off, that red tint immediately getting stronger. “You fucking killed me! I can’t fucking believe it! Some freak comes in the middle of the night and then KILLS ME WITH MY OWN FUCKING CAR!”

“Hey, hey! Clearly, we got off on the wrong foot-”

“Yeah, no fucking shit.”

“-So why don’t we start over?” As if not paying any attention to the other’s interjection, she extended a hand. “Hi! I’m Schmitty!” Unfortunately, the only thing it got in response was a choked up groan from the stranger, who had resumed staring at his own destroyed corpse.

“You…you think this is all so funny, don’t you?”

“Of course not! I don’t exactly mean to kill anyone. As long as they’re not forcing themselves in my space, or anything.”

“Okay, that’s it!” The stranger sighed leaning back for a moment. “Just take the car and leave me the fuck alone. And be sure to actually turn the gear shift down to drive.”

Before Schmitty could ask any questions, the other was gone. Now it was just up to her and the very limited set of context clues that she had. It carefully pulled the gearshift down to the D, and took off, way too eager to get home before sunup. She tried to ignore the dull tugging feeling on her neck, but it became a thousand times harder too once the stranger Schmitty had just been talking to flew right into the passenger seat. She very quickly swerved, just managing to only scratch a wire fence.

“Hey, what the fuck was that? You could’ve gotten us killed!”

“Okay, you’re already dead, and there’s no way that that would’ve killed me either!” Schmitty paused, just long enough to remember how to park. “What are you doing back here?”

“Why do you think I know this? And the fuck do you mean that ‘that wouldn’t have killed you?’”

“Look, it takes a lot more than a car crash to off the undead.” Schmitty shrugged, glancing up and down at the other. “And the looks of it, you’re probably bound to the car or something in it.” Without meaning to, it brought up its hand, lightly rubbing the weird spot on its neck.

“What does any of that even mean?” Schmitty opened her mouth to respond, but was immediately cut off. “And just give me one answer at a time: Are you fucking serious about the whole being undead thing?”

“Why the fuck wouldn’t I be?” At this point, Schmitty was fully gesturing towards her mouth, fangs now in full view. “I mean, come on! I was dropping hints left and right!”

“Okay…just gonna move past the fact that I’m trapped in a car with a bloodthirsty vampire!”

“Hey! I’ve still got another week before I need to feed again! And besides, I couldn’t take your blood, even if I wanted to, remember?”

“You know, those reminders aren’t exactly helping.”

“Good to know! Any other questions?” Schmitty flashed her potential new friend a smirk. It got a slight eye roll in response.

“Yeah, actually! What the fuck did you mean I’m bound to something?”

“Damn, I thought you’d at least know about that since humans can’t seem to stop using this in their stories.” Schmitty muttered the comment just loud enough for Cookie to hear. She took a breath before going on. “Look, not all ghosts pass on. Some of them have something tying them down to this plane, either a place, an object, or a perso…oh shit.” Schmitty trailed off, finally realizing what exactly that tugging feeling was.

“Oh god, you cannot be fucking serious.” Clearly, the stranger had picked up on what Schmitty was thinking immediately.

“So…I think now would be a good time for me to get your name?” All Schmitty got in response was a ‘hmph,’ but that wouldn’t be enough to break its concentration. It kept staring at the other, until finally, he gave in.

“It’s Cookie.”

“Well then, I guess we’re gonna be spending a lot of time together, Cookie!”

“Ugh, please don’t remind me,” Cookie groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “It’s bad enough that you killed me with my fucking car.”

“Oh, so we’re still on that, then?”

“Uh, yeah?” Cookie almost let out a scoff. “What’s gonna happen when the cops learn about this? What about my family? And my cats?”

“We’ll figure it out! Seems easy enough to just go and talk to them. We just need to break the news gently!”

“You sure about that?”

“Nah, not really.” Somehow, that nonchalant tone continued to ring through Schmitty’s words. “How about we just go to my place to come up with a plan?”

“It’s not like I have a choice.” Cookie had barely moved at all over the last few seconds. He simply levitated over the chair. “Just, please let me sit here and mourn in silence until we get there.”

“‘Course! I’ve just got one question.” Cookie opened an eye in response.

“Oh god, what is it?”

“Why were you wearing cat ears at 3 in the morning?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up!”

#jackbox #you don’t know jack #josh schmitty schmitstinstein #ydkj #cookie masterson #vampires #ghosts #major character death #major character undeath #mild gore #jackbox fanfiction #schmookie #storytime with schmitty

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warnerswilsons · 7 days ago

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Welcome!

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Hello!

You can call me Cyd or Schmitty, either is fine, just switch it up occasionally. I use it/they/quip pronouns, and I'm 21. This is to give the basics about my blog, and to just give some info about me!

Here we go!

General info

~I like to write, sing, and cosplay. I've shared a lot of writing and cosplay content so far, and I plan to continue this. You can find my ao3 right here.

~I'm neurodivergent.

~I try to use tone indicators when I feel they're needed. Using them for me would be much appreciated.

~I'm a whole bunch of xenogenders. I have my pronouns cc listed below

~I'm also otherkin! Specifically virtualkin and errorkin, as in being something computer generated, yet missing from the program. I'm also fictionkin, specifically of Schmitty from Jackbox/You Don't Know Jack.

~I do block liberally. Very rarely will it be a temporary block. It's possible, but I have my reasons for blocking, and will stand by them.

Interests

-Jackbox/You Don't Know Jack

-Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

-Animaniacs

-Dandadan

-Star Trek: The Next Generation

-The Sims

-I Was a Teenage Exocolonist

-Portal

-Doctor Who

-Will Wood/Will Wood and the Tapeworms

-My Chemical Romance

-Green Day

-Little Shop of Horrors

-My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

-Starkid

-HLVRAI

DNI

-Racist, Homophobic, Transphobic, Ableist, Aphobic, Antisimetic, Islamophobic, any other form of bigot

-Transmisogynists

-Transmisandrists

-Anti Self-Diagnosis

-Anti systems of all origins

-Anti age regression

-Medicalists

-Fakeclaimers

-Harry Potter fans

-Genuine Schmitty haters (I will try to avoid general negative comments. I guess that would be more of like a 'Cyd don't look!' thing)

-Anyone who excuses the erasure of marginalized identities in media (Specifically the MCU) or takes part in it.

-Deniers of the Holocaust, what's happening in Gaza, or the 1/6 Insurrection

-Anti-Otherkin/Alterhuman/Fictionkin/Therian/etc.

-MAGA supporters

-Pro-War

-Anti-ACAB

-Purposely uses tone indicators wrong/mocks tone indicators

-Discourse of anytime

Stuff I try to avoid

-Squid Game

-Inside Job

-Heavy amounts of gore

-Detailed descriptions of bugs

-Schmitty hate

-Extreme flashing lights

-Venting

-Please don't call me any slurs. Even if they are reclaimable for you or me, I'm just not comfortable with that

-Please don't send me donation asks.

Other Accounts

~@falsetoons: Incorrect Animainacs Quotes

~@welcometoschmittlash: Schmitty fan blog

~@yourhostandbestfriend: Schmitty rp account

~@abbacchiositalianpiss: JJBA fan blog

~@ask-creaturebox-household: Jackbox/YDKJ supernatural creatures AU askblog

~@would-they-drink-sanitizer: Character Gimmick blog