#and with it comes the realization of how starved he is for genuine affection

[grapefives]

REVÓLVER SEXUAL | HC

supernova trio x gn!reader (separately)

very light angst + implied nsfw + hispanic/latin reader + past fat shaming + insecurities + fluff + mentioned past unhealthy mechanisms

a/n: totally not self indulging. this has been in my drafts for a year LMAO please like 🧍🏻‍♀️

૮ ּ ۟ monkey d. luffy ׅ ۫ ✧

when you first joined the crew, luffy KNEW you had some sort of trouble with food

you were so hesitant of EVERYTHING that he found himself insisting and making sure you ate well, along with sanji

“y/n, eat more.” you felt like he was your MOM.

you could hear the “estas muy flac@” from your family members or the “ni que estuvieras a dieta” from your mother

but it was so HARD to say no to luffy, captain or not.

you still didn’t have a healthy relationship with food, and still felt a little guilty if you found yourself eating more than you FELT like you should’ve

sometimes you’d go all day without eating until luffy drags you for dinner, it’s not that you did it intentionally, you just don’t find it in you to eat

honestly, it worried luffy but he never really commented on it

all he would do is make sure you at least ate

but when you would play with your food more than eat or even just stare at the plate before you, he would frown and actually force feed you

“Y/N YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG AND HEALTHY SO WE CAN BEAT EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT WAY!”

yet, one day he finds out you literally had an issue with eating, you had mentioned it to chopper and he just happened to overhear

then it clicked why you were always squirmy during intimacy

and WITHOUT FAIL, to your surprise, he started being reassuring to you

he’s always a sweetheart with you, your hype man regardless but this time you knew his intentions were for you to understand you shouldn’t worry about your physical appearance

his eyes were ten times more tender outside the bedroom

yet, when it came to intimacy he was like a hungry animal— kissing, biting and grabbing. it had taken you aback at how specific he was being, but you still melted into him

he made you forget the voices that would say “hide that” or “don’t let him notice” but he made sure you understood that he’ll love you regardless of what you think

and he’s an eater

he’ll eat you up. always.

૮ ּ ۟ trafalgar d. law ׅ ۫ ✧

he’s a DOCTOR. man’s knows when someone is off.

he mistook your lack of interest in food for a stomach bug, genuinely concerned and forcing you to take pills and medicine

lowkey made you feel bad and ashamed to the point you came clean

medical confidentiality right?

😭 the face he gave you!!

“it’s unhealthy to neglect vital nutrients to your body.”

very stern about your meal intake, takes it upon himself to make sure you eat what you can stomach at first and make sure you grow comfortable with both him and food

he’s sweet really, just shows it in private

he literally sits you down and asks you what you would like for your body, because if you have any concerns then you MUST attend them CORRECTLY

no more unhealthy mechanisms

and he falls even more in love when you seem more radiant, more confident.

he’d come up from behind always and just plant a warm, wet kiss on your ear before whispering a compliment on your appearance

he made you feel like no one else’s opinion mattered anymore.

literally it didn’t matter if people commented on your weight, the results you were having made you feel confident

he was definitely surprised when you’d initiate intimacy, when you’d devour him like a starving animal

“someone’s hungry,” he teased once, but when you had paused, he realized his wording must have affected you

he low key panics and stutters out an apology but you smirk at him

“for once i don’t feel guilty for eating-“ and you devour his heart and soul too

૮ ּ ۟ eustass kid ׅ ۫ ✧

i’m sorry but this doofus was really oblivious about it until killer pointed it out

he was so mad at himself. how dare he not see your issue with food?? he thought you gave him your leftovers out of love!!

dude he’s like, an insensitive giant thinking he’s being helpful

it made sense of why you were always trying to put off intimacy or why you’d try to make him see less of you

“i don’t give a damn about how you look. why would i care?” he asks.

in his head he was being sweet and saying “i love you just the way you are.”

but it made you feel like shit

you were already struggling with feeling right with yourself, and he comes and says he doesn’t care? maybe you’re being sensitive but even that made you feel worse

it felt like you’ll never be enough for anyone, even eustass.

you never felt like you mattered, but growing up your weight put labels on you. you grew up with insults being used as nicknames, yet you felt like eustass saw you as nothing

“why aren’t you eating?” he asks when he notices you still aren’t developing a good eating habit, some days you eat well and others you either overeat or don’t eat at all

“does it matter?” you huff.

“i give a damn when you could get sick!”

“you said you don’t give a damn about how i look, so shut up about what i do.” you growl.

“eh? when did i say that!? you need to eat!” he huffs.

“well no thank you.”

you ignore him and he has to corner you in your room to get you to pay him any mind

his interrogations fall deaf in your ears as he cages you under him on your bed

“if i don’t matter to you get out,” you blurt out.

“what are you talking about? when have i made you feel like you don’t matter to me.”

“you know i’m struggling and you just- you just said you don’t give a damn about how i look!”

“because i don’t! does it have to matter? i love you for you! pirates seek out people for their bodies and for their own pleasures! i’m with you because i love you for who you are!”

“and i am not saying you’re ugly or whatever it is you think i think!” he beats you to every argument.

and then he goes on to show you PHYSICALLY what he means. not like, harsh or anything. you’ve never felt so precious under his care before, he kissed you so tenderly.

he didn’t make you feel fragile, like something that could break in a bad way

he made you understand how he sees you as more as his partner- as an extension of his soul, his missing piece

“i’ll make sure you never feel like that again, as long as you’re with me, you’ll be more valuable than a poneglyph. whatever you struggle with, i’ll help you through it.”

your confidence went up, because honestly he’s brutally honest and many people take what the captain says seriously; yet you knew he’s never lie to you

at the end of the day, what your lover says is what matters to you.

[baconcolacan]

IM SORRY BUT I HAD A THOUGHT AND ITS DRIVING ME INSANE (Stay AU related)

You know how I often hc Edd to have MC syndrome in some form, where he has this need to be the center of everything, to be well liked by people, to be admired and have someone need him, etc etc all that self-centered, slightly asshole-y, stuff.

But, like I said, this tones down with his age, so its not as bad as it used to be when he was a kid to his 20s, cause he got humbled at some point to where we know him as the raggedy ass future version of himself.

Well….then May Belle comes into his life.

And May absolutely adores her dad, she takes any opportunity to hug him and tell him how much she loves him. The thing that really broke Edd would be when May admits that her personal hero is always gonna be him.

He’s genuinely the center of someone’s world now.

And for once, he doesn’t know how to react to that.

[redr0sewrites]

Loki x reader General Hcs

this was... spontaneous! but i said i'd write for marvel and theres no better time than the present. PLEASE send in marvel requests🙏

🥀Cw: fluff, smut, switch!loki, little teensy bit of angst if u squint

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw:

loki is a naturally guarded person, and is very intelligent and clever. he's not one to let his guard down easily and isn't used to dealing with true romantic feelings, so you are obviously very special to him

loki is incredibly intelligent and good at reading people, along with being very charismatic. he's used to charming people to get his way, and he very, very rarely shows his true feelings unless he trusts you. he cares a lot about your opinion, and a part of him really, really wants to please you

at first, it's hard for even loki to tell whether his feelings for you are genuine, and he gets completely tongue tied around you. he wants to be around you all the time, and he admires you a lot

when it comes to actually dating loki, please be patient!!! he will only truly begin to let his guard down around you over time, and he believes that you'll only find him irritating. he definitely has a big "hurt them and push them away before they hurt you", type of mentality, and when he first realizes how much he cares for you he will probably avoid you for a little

everyone knows loki loves attention, and that is no different in a relationship. he is both touch starved and touch disgusted as he doesn't want to appear vulnerable, but craves any sort of intimacy that you offer

very thoughtful, and he remembers every little detail about you. you mention how much you like a certain candy? you miraculously find those candies in your room. you tell him about an important event coming up that you're stressing about? he reminds you about it the day before. you tell him your favorite gemstone? well, you better believe that every piece of jewelry he gives you includes that gem. loki knows your favorite song, your favorite book, your favorite movie, and any and everything else about you that he deems important. you live rent free in his mind 24/7

loki loves matching with you, and he loves when you wear his signature colors. he's always complimenting you and your style, and his heart flutters a little when you ask him what he's wearing for an important event coming up so that you two can coordinate

i don't even think i can pick a love language for him, he loves giving and receiving any form of affection and you two are probably attached at the hip

HE WOULD PASS THE ORANGE PEEL TEST. loki is absolutely the type to lace up your shoes for you, making a corny joke about how he "doesn't want you falling for anyone else". he uses magic to help you a lot, and especially loves your guys' night routines

loki is nooot a morning person, and loves snuggling with you. whenever you both have to get up in the morning he's always pulling you back into bed, nuzzling into your neck and begging for "five more minutes". he's also always very groggy in the morning and won't remember most of what he does when half asleep. he's very honest as well, and says lots of sappy things whenever he's sleepy. on the rare occasion that you sleep in later than him, he loves kissing you awake and pressing kisses all over your fave!

loki naturally runs very cold, but doesn't feel cold if that makes sense. to you his skin is absolutely FREEZING, but he just feels normal. however there are times where he runs insanely hot and there is absolutely no in between. he's either freezing or burning up, and it's both a little sad and a little amusing. there are times where the cold gets to him and loki will be more clingy than usual, claiming that he needs you to warm him up. other times he will practically walk around naked, too overstimulated and hot to even touch you

loki is a lot more anxious then he seems, and will sometimes just freak out over little things when in reality its a bunch of big things piling up one after another. he never ever means to take it out on you, and even when he's reached his limit he would never hurt you, but it can still be frustrating when he gets mad at you for a simple mistake. he always apologizes and takes accountability tho, and is very careful not to hurt your feelings bc he's very afraid you'll leave him. PLEAAASEEE REASSURE HIM :((((

loki is very chatty and loves talking to you about anything and everything. from in depth psychological conversations to simple "how was your day" conversations, he just cherishes getting to be able to talk to you

nsfw

look me in the eyes and tell me he's not a switch. i definitely see him as being capable of both being a dom and a sub, and i think it really depends on your guys' moods

when he's a dom, i think loki can fluctuate on how mean or rough he is. i do see him being a more degrading or rough dom but i also think he can be a lot softer as well, and more of a pleasure dom. again, i think it all comes down to your preferences

when he's a sub, loki is definitely bratty. he loves being put in his place and getting a little roughed up, but there are also times where he just wants to relax and be taken care of. when he gets in his own head too much and is irritated after a long day he'll be a lot more pliant and willing to just let you take care of him. PLEEEASSSE praise him and pamper him when he's like this, he'll melt like putty in your hands

PRAISE + DEGRADATION!!! BOTH WAYS!!!! he absolutely has a huge praise kink and definitely praises you a looot during sex, but i also see him being a bit mean with his praise and mixing in some degrading words as well. either way he's a wonderful dirty talker and he probably has a voice kink too, considering how often he whispers in your ear (and enjoys it when you do the same).

i also think loki would be into bondage, again, both ways. theres something so delicious about seeing you tied up and squirming from just his gentle touches, but it's equally intoxicating for him to be the one tied up and denied any sort of pleasure. he gets really whiny when you don't let him touch you, and will probably start pouting and begging. tying him up is defff one of the easiest ways to break him

guys hear me out but a candle wax kink. loki is very respectful and will always ask your permission before trying something new, but he loves seeing you whimper and moan while he slowly lets a few drops of wax spill onto your smooth skin. he also will let you return the favor, and the wax often hisses and steams a bit when it hits his skin because he's so cold.

marking you is definitely very appealing to him, and it's pretty self explanatory. loki just loves marking you and being marked up by you. it satisfies his slightly possessive and jealous side, and you two always look like you've been in a fight after having sex from the number of bruises, scratches, and hickies littering your body.

another relatively self explanatory kink, but, hair pulling. he looooves it when you pull his hair while he gives you head

loki is a major tease, and he loves teasing you in public settings where you can't do much about it. it will go from subtle things like placing a hand on your lower back or caressing your thigh to whispering absolute filth in your ears and making out with you in the bathroom. he is always trying to rile you up bc he knows damn well that it will lead to a night of rough sex

we all know loki's a shapeshifter and genderfluid, so i absolutely hc that he can change his physical body to match his gender. if he's feeling more feminine, he LOVES when uou eat him out. facesitting is def something he enjoys and he loooves riding your face SOO MUCH.

loki is very vocal, he def whines and moans a lot. he isn't shy about letting you know how good he's feeling. he knows how much his voice affects you and will whisper the filthiest things in your ear between moans as you fuck him senseless

aftercare is v important to him, and whether or not he's subbing really affects how exhausted he is afterwards. if he dommed he knows he can be pretty rough and he'll run a bath for you both before getting a towel to wipe you clean and then carrying you to the tub. i also think he'd prioritize keeping you well hydrated and would get you some water and food after the bath. loki is very clingy after sex and would want you as close as possible.

when he subbed tho, it's a totally different story. loki will be a clingy mess from the moment you finish, just whining and cuddling against you the whole time. depending on how deep into subspace he is and how groggy he is, he might even cry if you try to get up (even if you're just going to get water or a towel or sum) bc he thinks you're leaving him :(. he's pretty vulnerable after subbing and will probably just lay with you for a while before coming down from his high. once he's mostly calm and cognizant, he'll def want to clean up pretty quickly. he doesn't like feeling sticky and gross and also loves bathing with you!! overall he's a lot softer after sex and generally just wants to be near to you

RAHHHH I LOVE HIM SMMM!!!! he's so silly lmao this post got sooo long 💀 i also lowkey feel like im shadowbanned or something cuz like all of my posts have been majorly flopping recently :/ maybe im just not in a lot of active fandoms idk but!!!! anyways!!!!! hope u enjoyed!!!!!!! PLEEEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND IN REQUESTS FOR MARVEL, ATSV, OR ANH OTHER FANDOM I WRITE FOR!!!

[sameschmidtdiffname]

I’m so fond of Soft for her Loved Ones Katniss and a Peeta who knows his grumpy wife is the soft one. I think that he always knew she was soft since he saw her with Prim, and that was part of him realizing she loved him. “She lets me get away with murder and my smile and baby blues get me anything”.

On a serious note, I do feel like during their growing back together period, Katniss is just so incredibly gentle and careful with Peeta when she can be. Like when they get close enough they're back to spending every day (every hour, every minute) together again Peeta has to barely suggest something before Katniss is up and running to get it for him. He nics himself once with an exacto knife during a project and Katniss is suddenly all "Doctor Everdeen" again and Peeta 'never had genuine care and affection growing up' Mellark, who somewhat remembers how she used to care for him pre-hijacking, is just slowly melting at every fret and touch, just watching her care with the biggest, lovesick puppy eyes he's ever had because it was tortured out of him to remember how nice it feels to be genuinely cared for.

I feel like this is even more exaggerated by the fact that after Mockingjay Katniss and Peeta I think switch some aspects of their personality. Like I would imagine Peeta is more akin to Katniss at the beginning of the series with falling in love now because he's very skeptical even though he can now remember how he used to feel, but that's like a completely different person in his head almost, so it's more a theory than a memory. So everytime Katniss is kind or loving to him at first he's nice about everything while internally semi distrustful of the whole thing, and definitely not fond of the idea of allowing himself to be vulnerable. Meanwhile Katniss has switched to needing validation and affection so bad it hurts, but knowing she can't demand it because that's not fair to Peeta so she just pours as much love as she feels she's allowed into all of her actions without trying to reveal her state of longing for him because she's just glad he's returned to her period. It doesn't have to be romantic.

I also feel like this would apply to when Katniss has nightmares and Peeta eventually begins comforting her via physical touch. I think it would be extremely obvious how touch starved Katniss is post-Mockingjay even though she tries to hide it for Peetas sake, and eventually Peeta just can't handle not doing whatever he can to help ease her mind, even if it's just holding her hand (which helps a lot) until all the subdued feelings just come pouring out that night they finally confess while tangled in their bedsheets.

Once they're well settled into their relationship? Peeta is 1000% abusing his husband privileges. One time he's three days into a painting project, there's acrylics all over the floor and Katniss tries to clean up but Peeta is insistent that it's fine because once they dry he can just scrape them off the floor with a washcloth. No, really honey, I used to do this all the time, as he pushes her quickly out the door of his study because he's way too invested to chit-chat and wants her to be surprised by the work anyways (he likes the praise from her seeing it go from a rough sketch to a full blown painting, especially since it's turned into a where's Waldo situation of her looking for themselves in his paintings.) And then he goes to clean up the paint himself only to realize this is really nice paint that has stained really nice Capitol-grade imported wood and it is not coming out. Katniss is fully aware of what happened the minute Peeta comes home rambling quickly about these "wonderful rugs Effie had" and "I just had to get one for the house" because "It's good luck" and he'll tell her about it some other time, he's gotta get this rug upstairs. Ignore any bumps you hear! (She does not. The bump is Peeta falling down the stairs cuz his prosthetic glitched and between the giant woven rug and his natural clumsiness that fucker went down.) But she doesn't say anything because he has this stupid smile as he presents her with three paintings and a basket of cheese rolls because he just loves her so much, that's all.

Then there's one time a load of laundry goes missing and Peeta is just insistent that the clothes must be in some odd corner unwashed, even though she could've sworn she put that load in the wash. So for two weeks straight she's just constantly thinking about this load, sometimes getting out of bed in the midst of the night when she can't sleep anyways to look for the damn clothes because they're obviously somewhere. Clothes don't move. But then her husband starts asking her to give up, they'll pop up sooner or later, and she's starting to wonder why he's baking so much bread. Like, lots of bread. Bread with cheese, or honey, or nuts. Just constantly kneading dough in their kitchen while chewing on his bottom lip, lost in thought. And at first she's convinced she's actually losing it. Maybe she's starting to have black out episodes. Is that even possible? To do something and just have absolutely no memory of the event at all? What if she starts hurting people during these episodes? What if she's already hurting people while she's in these episodes?? And that's why Peeta is so nervous now???

She's got an appointment with Dr. Aurelius next week, she'll bring it up to him. Peeta is definitely hiding something from her. But then one day after she comes home from her hunting trip, longing for her favorite sweater instead of the one she's wearing today, Peeta is beaming in the kitchen saying he found the load and it's all washed and hung up in the closet. "Oh, it was just behind the washer! Who knows how it got there."

Except Katniss knows she checked behind the washer. Three times, actually. And Peeta doesn't smile like that naturally. So she's not crazy, and Peeta has got something going on. So, when they go to bed that night, Katniss waits for three hours before she finally slips out of bed, knowing he's too konked out at this point to notice her missing and sneaks into his study to see what all could be in there. And after an hour of looking, she doesn't find anything, and now she feels bad for suspecting something and going through her husband's things. She's about to click off the light when she notices a bottle of oil paint missing in a set she'd bought for Peeta a little while ago for his birthday. And things start clicking together. Because first off, he doesn't go through paints that fast. Second off, even if he does, he never throws away the bottles. Like, ever. There is an entire drawer filled with empty bottles and such of paint and other supplies partially because Peeta needs to remember the names or brands, and partially because Peeta hates the idea of potentially wasting something unless he is fully convinced it's done. Which he never is.

It takes one day before he confesses, and when he does it's because Katniss casually mentions how her favorite sweater doesn't seem to have an old snag from when her ring caught on the yarn and nearly ripped a hole in the arm. And that's how she finds out Peeta accidently left a poorly closed bottle of azure blue paint in his pants pocket and not even Effie had been able to save the load, so she helped him reorder everything. Thus why he's been stress baking. And Katniss is way too entertained to be mad because at this point, there's no better reprimand than the one Peeta has given himself.

But idk tho. I don't think about them much :)

[patron-saints]

on morality & madeleine: interview with the vampire meta (written after s2e6)

so far, i’ve found that trying to process my thoughts on madeleine feels really difficult when everyone online has their own opinions and their own biases. this post is kind of my attempt to sort out how i feel about her, and to refute and explore some arguments i’ve seen pop up in her tag.

i think the people who are pointing out that first and foremost these are fictional characters have it right: they’re not real people, their relative morality is only relevant as it pertains to the story itself. and in a story like interview with the vampire, your baseline is that every main character is a killer. in terms of morality, evaluating whether or not a character is a good person is pretty useless and also just… isn’t the point of the story. all characters are functions of a narrative, all characters are tools that you use to tell a story. their morality should not be judged in the same way as you would a real person’s! now. all that being said, let’s have some fun judging* madeleine anyway!

*doing some of my own biased character analysis on

what we know comes to us from a few sources: claudia’s diary, which daniel can read, (decent primary source, but filtered with her biases), louis’s recollection of madeleine’s memories (secondary source that relies on both of their ability to remember clearly) and presumably, louis and armand’s recollections of their interactions as well, which isn’t a whole lot to begin with.

part 1: the nazi fucking

when madeleine talks about sleeping with a nazi to claudia, she’s extremely casual about it. while she notes he brought her food, and cigarettes, she says in a way that invokes a courtship ritual, rather than a direct bribe. it’s impossible to divorce this from the context though: her neighbors are starving, and she was brought food. it likely was a bribe, but what’s important is that she doesn’t relay it as one. her focus when she starts talking about him is on the connection: “it was the comfort, the proof of life,” as she says. if she had been coerced, or if she felt like she had no choice in the matter, i think she would have presented it a little differently. but her affection for the guy is clear, and she even mocks him a little to claudia. in her own words, “i wasn’t inviting hitler to stay in france, i was inviting a frightened boy to cradle my tits.” 

which. let’s be real here: to claudia, she is downplaying it. she slept with an occupying soldier during an occupation. watching this scene for the first time, you could even reasonably assume she doesn’t get how serious that is. but once you see the degree of punishment she faced, and continues to face for her actions, you realize her framing here is a learned defense against genuine violence. she feels she has to downplay it to herself and to claudia because there is an imbalance here. it becomes harder to admit to your wrongdoings when the punishments you face for them feel wildly disproportionate.

madeleine did something she never should have done, something she doesn’t feel remorse for, but something that she’s being punished for in a way that far exceeds what any person deserves.

when she talks about it to armand, her framing changes again. she calls it a love, still, so the affection is still present, but she places a greater emphasis on doing what it takes to survive, implying more so that sleeping with a nazi was an act of self-preservation. regardless of whether this is more true than how she presents things to claudia, she has a motivation here too.

when she shares her experiences with claudia, she’s flirting, trying to make her laugh, trying to make a connection, and this part might be subconsciously, but she is certainly trying to get claudia to like her. when she talks to armand, however, she’s actively trying to convince him to grant her the dark gift. she has to portray herself as capable, as self-sufficient, and discerning, and it works! even though he denies her based on his own biases, armand is visibly impressed by all of madeleine’s answers to his questions.

and all we get from louis was that the experience was sweet. and let’s be real, it did look pretty sweet.

i don’t believe madeleine has any hatred for the boy she slept with. i don’t think there’s any evidence she has any hatred for jewish people either, or for her country, which her neighbors believe she betrayed. i think she chose to prioritize a moment of human connection (and possibly food) over the greater consequences of her actions.

i have been looking for the post again since i saw it, so if anyone sees it lmk! but! the op talked about the fact that madeleine as a collaborator isn’t changing her behavior in any meaningful way now: she watched claudia kill in front of her, and instead of running, she once again invited the danger in, joined up with it. i believe the post said something like: once a collaborator, always a collaborator.

this has really stuck with me and i really wish i could reference it properly.

cuz i think there is something there—i think madeleine’s self-preservation instinct is a little screwed on wrong, i think she is acting similarly with claudia as she did with the nazi, but i think it’s not just about the danger. portraying her choice to follow claudia as a cold moment of choosing survival takes away from her complexity, and from the veracity of her feelings for claudia. so, not just the danger. i think it’s about the connection again.

the connection she has with claudia is real, the love she has for claudia is incredibly real. but madeleine is once again prioritizing an interpersonal connection over anything else, and that is the pattern she’s repeating here.

part 2: the apparent age gap issues

every single person who says their relationship is problematic because claudia is a child owes me and claudia fifty bucks.

i don’t really even want to get into that because i don’t think it’s worth my time. the show has put a lot of effort into demonstrating that claudia is an adult trapped in the body of a teenager, and that experience is hard enough on her without all you people insisting she’s still a kid anyway.

however, there’s a secondary argument i’ve seen which i do want to address, which is madeleine’s perception of her.

in their first meeting in the shop, it’s clear that madeleine is seeing claudia as a teenager. she calls her one directly, and references her “body about to bloom” when they meet again two years later. however, when they do meet two years later, claudia has not grown. we know madeleine has noticed this by the dress fitting scene for certain, but it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume she noticed that sooner. additionally, in the same breath, madeleine also references claudia’s “mind of a sophisticate.” by the time claudia tells her that her growth was stunted due to the war, it’s extremely likely that madeleine had already reached a similar conclusion. she doesn’t look surprised at all when claudia says it, and it’s because claudia seems like an adult. even if she doesn’t look like one, she carries herself like one, she makes conversation like one, and it’s very easy for madeleine to accept the reality that she is one, because she may have suspected as much already. 

the reason i say all of this is because i’ve seen multiple people saying it’s inappropriate for her to flirt with claudia before she knows she’s an adult.

is their interaction at the shop window flirting? are they flirting outside the theatre, just after the play? both of these scenes are before claudia says her growth was stunted. i think it’s impossible to say they were definitively flirtatious, but i will certainly say there was a vibe. and i think that’s… kind of fine actually ? two people can have chemistry and it doesn’t have to mean anything about them morally. and my coworker andy said it would have been weirder if they had no chemistry and then did suddenly after madeleine realizes she’s an adult, which made me laugh, and which i think is correct. i like the way they get along before the dress fitting, i think those scenes are fun, and the ambiguity of the flavor adds to it.

i did see at least one post that said it was inappropriate for madeleine to talk about sex frankly with claudia if she thinks she’s a teenager, and to that i say. you can talk to teens about sex. even if she didn’t suspect claudia was older, it’s still fine. they are friends, and she’s sharing an experience she had because claudia asked her about it. 

additionally, it’s both a very contemporary & a very american idea that People Under 18 need to be kept from conversations about sex. frankness about sexuality is in fact, very french lol.  

i did originally think that this was after the conversation about claudia not growing, but i just watched the scene again to be sure and it was, in fact, also before, but i think my point stands. 

i don’t know for certain if she intended to come across as flirtatious in these scenes, but i know something clicked for her right around her confession. you can see it, when they lock eyes in the mirror, that whatever the vibe is, they’ve both clocked it. and she finds out claudia’s older than she looks only seconds later, because she’s the one pointing out that claudia hasn’t grown. (but, yes, i’ll add anyway: after claudia says her growth was stunted, and after that moment of connection, madeleine’s expressions do seem a lot more… Interested too, lol). 

i understand and i empathize so much with people’s criticisms of madeleine’s past. i have no intention to exonerate her in that regard (other than her previously mentioned narrative tool status) but i will jump to her defense when it comes to her relationship with claudia.

madeleine sees claudia as an adult, because claudia is an adult.

if they weren’t vampires, and if they weren’t queer in the 1940s, maybe she’d be worried about how others saw their relationship. or maybe it would be weird if she didn’t care how it looked. but given that the only people who will know they’re romantically together are other vampires, i don’t see her lack of concern for the optics being that much of an issue either.

and the reason she’s not concerned is because she knows what claudia is to her. which brings us to:

part 3: the sister stuff

once again i think the show does a pretty good job of refuting this one on its own, but i’d like to get all my arguments in the same place.

so. i see “don’t worry about the blood, it’s the blood that made you,” getting thrown around a lot as proof that madeleine is replacing claudia as her sister.

why would they have a scene that directly refutes this if they were true? when louis asks if that’s what’s going on, claudia says they already “had it out,” and madeleine clarifies that claudia is nothing like her sister, and cannot be a replacement.

“don’t worry about the blood, it’s the blood that made you,” is something that madeleine says because she loves claudia, because she loves the person and the vampire that she is. because she wants claudia to know that her past does not define her. because she wants her to know she doesn’t feel tainted by it, and that claudia doesn’t have to either.

and yeah, it’s not that there’s zero incestuous tones to it! or to the whole arrangement, certainly. but i think any that are there pretty neatly fall under the “iwtv typical wire crossings” flavor rather than the “you’re my dead sister’s replacement” flavor.

so, yeah. despite saying fictional character morality doesn’t matter, i’ve just written several paragraphs trying to figure out if madeleine is a good person or not. really, though, that’s not the question iwtv wants us to ask, or the question i really want to ask its viewers either. is madeleine a good person? eh, probably not. is madeleine a good person for claudia? absolutely.

on this, iwtv is extremely clear. madeleine is an ideal partner. she’s not scared, she’s not surrounded by friends and family she’d grieve, she’s weirdly suited to vampirism, and she loves claudia so much. they share a morbid sense of humor, they’re comfortable teasing each other, they communicate in an extremely healthy way, and every single step of their relationship is based on consent.

the entire time i was watching her scene with armand, i just kept whispering, “oh my god, she’s perfect.” she nailed absolutely every question because she’s perfect for what she’s supposed to do as character, as a function of the narrative she is a part of. madeleine is perfect because she is perfect for claudia.

[artful-aries]

Genshin Headcanons: What Gets Them Flustered (Tighnari, Kaeya, Thoma)

​​

Tighnari:

​​He’s actually a bit of a tough nut to crack, but something that will always short circuit his brain is when you play with his ears or tail

​​With a flushed red face, he would insist that you stop messing with his ears, claiming that it tickles or is annoying

​​Really, he just doesn’t want you to see how weak in the knees he gets when you pet him like that. It’s a bit embarrassing for him.

​​He would never admit that he likes the way you gently pull and stroke his animal features, but the subtle wag of his tail and the twitch of his ears is a dead giveaway

​​If you keep at it long enough, Tighnari will end up a puddle in your lap

​​Sometimes catching your scent as you walk by also makes Tighnari flustered, especially if you’ve just showered and washed your hair

​​Your scent would almost assault his senses, but in the best way possible

​​You’d look over at him and see him zoned out with a faint dust of pink on his cheeks before he snaps out of it, realizing you’re staring at him

​​No, he will NOT tell you what he was thinking about, no matter how much you beg him to

​​Tighnari would like to keep at least one shred of dignity around you

​​Shockingly, just general proximity to you doesn’t get him flustered at all, it’s only these minute things that really get him going

​​

​​Kaeya:

​​It’s almost like a game to him, seeing who breaks and gets flustered first

​​Most of the time it’s you who gets flustered first under his constant flirtatious teasing and gentle touches

​​However, you do have a few tricks up your sleeve if you pay attention to his reactions enough

​​He gets so flustered if you tug at his hair a little, especially if you’re doing it to make him look at you

​​Kaeya will stare at you wide eyed for a moment, the sudden exchange of power throwing him off before he smiles and lets you do as you please

​​Beneath his charismatic exterior is actually a rather soft, affection starved man

​​If you gently caress his face and look at him as if he’s your world, he is going to bury his face in your hand, just to hide the growing blush that’s on his cheeks

​​He has no problem admitting these things get him worked up, but he will only do so in a teasing way, still trying to come out on top of this little game that the two of you play

​​The gentle look in his eye is the only indication that his reaction goes beyond physical; he genuinely gets nervous when you show him such tender love

​​When he catches you staring at his flustered state for too long, he will find a way to distract you, whether that’s by kissing you, picking you up in his arms, playing with your hair, the possibilities are endless

​​

​​Thoma:

​​Despite being a dependable worker of the Kamisato Clan, he is actually quite easy to fluster

​​He’s just an earnest, straightforward kind of guy. When you make small efforts to rile him up a bit, it definitely shows

​​Thoma’s face will turn as red as his clothes if you pull him closer to you, whether it’s by his hand or the collar of his shirt, the sudden proximity to you makes him clam up

​​He becomes a stuttering mess too whenever you fluster him, his silver tongue quickly becoming tarnished when you tease him

​​Another thing that gets him flustered is when you put your hair up, or if your hair is too short for a ponytail, when you pin it back out of your face

​​It’s super mundane and he knows this, but something about you showing off that extra bit of skin that you normally don’t show has him practically swooning

​​If you were to ask him why his face was so red, he would rush out the excuse that it was a bit warm in the room, even if it’s in the dead of winter and there is a chill in the house

​​When questioned further, Thoma insists that because of his Pyro vision he gets hotter than people who don’t have one

​​For the sake of him not combusting on the spot, you choose to believe him, but make a point to wear your hair like this more

[crookednachogalaxy]

im kinda thinking about bowser being a simp and i cant help but think how would that translate to luigi?

im not gonna take the movie's plot into consideration, but i will be using bowser's characterization as a starting point.

so, we know bowser is a simp for peach, and a big one at that. his style of showing affection is not only loud but downright aggressive, and while it absolutely fits him, it didnt work on peach and definitely wouldnt work on luigi. so where do we go from here?

i'd imagine they start off as begrudging friends. bowser still loves peach, but he doesnt want to shake the peace that has been established. and most of all, the rejection still stings and he's being sorta lost and mopey. luigi, having a heart too kind for his own good, hangs around the koopa king offering his comfort - and while he isnt too keen on having the younger mario brother buzzing around him, its better than being alone.

over time, he gets over the rejection. he is able to form a genuine friendship with peach (with no resurfaced feelings!), and even mario sees him more as a sports rival than a threat nowadays, allowing for some light-hearted banter. when those two toad-heads announce their relationship, bowser is genuinely happy for them. luigi, in the meantime, really grows on bowser as a friend. he invites the plumber over to his castle regularly to spend time together, conversation flowing naturally between them. when he's with luigi, it's so easy to forget about the world.

physical affection, too, starts becoming the norm without either realizing it. it starts off small, simple fist bumps and head pats. laying an arm over the other's shoulder to pull them close while joking, hugs hello and goodbye. eventually, they sit together, sides touching, bowser's tail curling around them.

it's during one of those sit-togethers that bowser first realizes his feelings for the plumber. luigi is fast asleep, cuddled up to bowser's side without noticing, and the koopa king is nothing but enamoured. as he goes to gently pet luigi's hair, he freezes. since when was he so gentle with him? since when were they so close? what he was about to do was something he did for his children often, but they were his family. when did luigi become part of that circle? it left him wondering about what to do.

bowser is loud. he is confident, he is shameless. if he likes someone, they will know. but peach hated his aggressiveness, and luigi would like it even less. so how could he show luigi he loved him without overwhelming him? being subdued and talking around the bush is not his style, but for his new beloved he'd find a way to be true to himself and honest at the same time.

from that night onwards, bowser approaches their interactions differently. he is more openly affectionate, not just in the way of who he allows to see them be affectionate but also what types of affectionate gestures he shows. he cups luigi's cheek, he nuzzles his snout into his head. their hugs become longer and tighter, he freely purrs when luigi runs his fingers through his hair, he gives him flowers. he rushes to pull out the chair when luigi's sits down at the dinner table, and he has his private study adjusted to fit luigi's sensory needs and allow him a space to relax and make his own. bowser is so obvious in his affections that the troops and caste staff start saluting luigi as if he were a person of importance in the castle (much to his confusion).

luigi, as touch starved as he is, takes the new affection in stride. he doesnt realize what it's supposed to mean, but he loves the way bowser is becoming so comfortable with him. he, too, opens up in turn, and it becomes hard to believe that he once lived a life without someone so important to him.

luigi's realization happens a while later than bowser's. the koopa king was asleep on the floor, belly down and head in luigi's lap, with luigi running his hand through the king's hair. it's in that vulnerable position that he comes to terms with his feelings for the koopa king, and he questions himself and their every interaction upon it. the next day, when bowser makes another big gesture of affection towards him, is when he realizes that bowser feels the same way, and has been telling him for a while. when luigi reciprocates, romantically, bowser cannot stop his tail from wagging hard.

and that's where it continues. bowser is still loud and obvious in his affection for luigi, but he makes sure that it is private, for them, and luigi appreciates it immensely. peach, observant as ever, knows immediately when things changed between them, whereas mario stays oblivious until they officially announce their relationship. he is supportive tho (you know, im not even surprised. if anyone can tame that overgrown lizard, of course it'd be weegie).

[terrarain]

caught off-guard (by you)

character(s): shinsou hitoshi, takami keigo

summary: the thing that throws them off their usual game.

notes: reader's pronouns unspecified, brainrotting kei 'n toshi

word count: 785

ˏˋ°•*⁀☂ shinsou, hitoshi.

Hitoshi is a sarcastic guy who makes it his life-goal to have a dry reply to anything anybody says to him. He's awkward at handling compliments and always thinks that there's some kind of ulterior motive. He always tries to pick out the underlying meaning in the other party's words.

So it throws him for a loop whenever he's approached by people who just take him in stride. As expected in a world where quirks influence a lot of how the world perceives you, Hitoshi grew up under a lot of scrutiny. You throw him for a loop when he realizes that you questioning him about his quirk has nothing to do with you trying to feel him out, to understand how his quirk works so you can avoid him ever using it on you.

It's... nice. Flustering and maybe a bit uncomfortable (how in the world is he supposed to reply to your earnest gaze?), but it's nice.

Even further down the line, as you guys become friends, he's still thrown off when you're genuine to him. It's weird. It's... not unwelcome. Hitoshi's unaccustomed to people trusting in him - something that U.A. makes him accustomed to. (For the most part, anyways; it's hard to get rid of lingering doubts when they're so deeply rooted in him.)

Hitoshi tries to be all slick with his words once the two of you start dating. And, you know what? For the most part, he is. As he grows older, matures, he walks along the path of reconciling with himself. Hitoshi as an adult is more confident than teenage Hitoshi. He's surrounded himself with friends who take him in stride, he has you for a lover, who never lets him forget about how amazing he is.

Still. It's trivially easy for you to get the man stumbling over himself. Praise. Any praise from you has Hitoshi's head spinning. His mind reeling. It's a sure-fire way to get him flustered because, even though he's more confident now that he's older, there's still little thoughts that poke and prod at him unpleasantly every so often. Hitoshi wears a mask of cool indifference well but you know he's a big ol' softy beneath and crumbles to you easily.

Hitoshi is awkward, when he's caught off-guard. His mask of tired indifference slips and his heart flutters whenever you tell him that he did well and you're able to catch sight of the flush painting the tips of his ears red.

ˏˋ°•*⁀☂ takami, keigo.

So. Keigo. Casual and one who can go with the flow as needed - not a lot can fluster him. He's trained to keep his cool in every scenario possible. There's little to no hope of catching Keigo off-guard early on in your guys' relationship, because in the early stages? All of his walls are up. He's not letting anyone poke and prod at him for weaknesses.

For a while, you really do wonder if anything even fazes him. Is there anything that would make him bat an eye?

But, as you grow closer to him, you take notice of how much he actually speaks with his body. Words are one thing. Body language is another.

Touching comes easily to him - maybe a wing around your body to protect you from a particularly harsh wind. Maybe a warm, reassuring hand resting on your waist or shoulder. A little nuzzle of affection.

Even though he touches so casually, he's not as casual when it comes to being on the receiving end. The man is hopelessly weak to physical affection from you. It takes no time at all to get his wings flapping in excited, uncontrollable beats.

He's especially weak whenever you run your hand along his wings, tracing his feathers ever-so-gently. And he's obsessed with cuddling. He's an unexpectedly (or, perhaps, expectedly?) huge cuddle bug. Touch-starved, he gets drunk off of any moments you hold him.

When the two of you are officially together as lovers, it's hard for him to keep his hands off of you. He avoids PDA due to his job, since he doesn't want a target to get painted on your back - but behind doors, he's all over you.

Keigo doesn't really expect any of his actions to really be reciprocated. So when you do return his physical affections, he's not as slick and silver-tongued as he would like to be.

When you manage to get his guard down, Keigo is so, so vulnerable in a way that he really doesn't like to show others. His wings are a lot more active and flutter about aimlessly whenever you're returning one of his touches and he looks at you like you created the stars that are scattered about the night sky.

[dominophile]

💙🍃Branch Dating Headcanons🍃💙

Character: Branch

Warnings: small talk of abandonment issues, nothing major

Nsfw?: none

This is for a friend. The reason I ever actually got into Trolls was because she told me all about how hot Branch was.

I also very much want to headcanon this guy I have so many thoughts.

Note: My headcanons will always include my species headcanons too, which includes but isn't limited to different types of tails, claws, hair, etc.

Now for the man of the hour, Branch!

Branch is the perfect man

I mean kind of

From the first day you started dating, this man has been super protective of you

He doesn't want anything bad to happen to you, even if you're definitely safe already, this guy is taking zero chances

Probably at some point tried to keep you in his bunker for "precautionary reasons"

Look it's the thought that counts, he loves you

Now let's not forget the abandonment issues

He's got a genuine fear that people he loves will all leave him, one way or another

Reassure him you're not going anywhere, please, he needs it

You don't have to be with him 24/7 of course

He understands more than anyone the need to be alone or do your own thing, trust me

If you want to hang out with other Trolls, I doubt he would mind

He doesn't like groups much, but he might appreciate the sentiment of you inviting him regardless

Say "I love you"

You might just have to he the first to do so

He loves you so fucking much, but "What if that scares them away??"

Just tell him how much you love him every so often, it helps

On a similar note, communicate!

Communicate how you feel, and encourage him to do the same

Keeping secrets and emotions from him could easily come back to bite you

Even if you don't have bad intentions, he might assume you do

It's not that he doesn't trust you, he just assumes the worst sometimes

That said, he's not sure how to share his own emotions sometimes either

This guy has spent a long time avoiding every other living being and doesn't often understand the difference between talking to himself, and talking to you

Social cues too, don't assume he knows what you're feeling, because as much as he tries with you all his new friends, he still gets it wrong a lot

Work with him, you'll get there

Branch enjoys spending time with you, but he's wary about physical touch

Ever met someone who hates being touched but is also touched starved? That's Branch!

If he wants physical affection or something of the sort, he'll come to you

You can also ask him. He loves and cares about you and even if it's not his favorite, if it makes you happy he'll allow it

He will absolutely protectively wrap his tail around you though if you guys are sitting next to each other

Who cares if you're all alone? Feel safe damn it

You're the only person who can do that, he knows you won't hurt him

If you also dislike physical affection, you two can just vibe in each other's company

Branch overworks himself sometimes, and normally would fight through exhaustion, but if you're around, he wouldn't mind a quick nap

You'll watch his back won't you?

He wouldn't mind if you fell asleep with him too

All in all though, he's a good boyfriend

He's thoughtful

He's caring

He's protective

And he really really loves you so much

He thinks you make him a better person

Like he was incomplete before you came around

"Meeting you was like finding the last missing piece of a puzzle."

Man that's cheesy. But sweet.

Oh maybe that was just a set up to get you to do a puzzle with him

Eh still sweet

I also think he would appreciate if you made him coffee in the mornings sometimes

If you're a coffee person, have some too!

Tea person? Or anything else? He'll stock up on what you like once he realizes you like it

He sleeps in late sometimes though, if you're a morning person you're fending for yourself with drinks

Other Trolls are happy seeing you with him during the day also

Especially Poppy

"So happy to see you branching out!!"

Bunker Bucket List: Learn to love again

Check ✅

[whackk-kermitt]

Genre: Just some innocent Headcanons

Warnings: None

Pronouns: GN!

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵

Daryl Dixon was the first to fall, but you have to be the one to make the first move.

Before they lost Merle, that fucker would tease the hell out of Daryl anytime he saw his little brother glance in your direction.

Let's face it, Merle was a little jealous that you seem to take more interest in Daryl them him.

Daryl being the pushover he was when it came to Merle, pushed you away when he realized Merle was upset about it.

Last thing he wanted was a little crush making his life harder!

But after they found themselves at the farm, and Daryl was away from Merle’s toxic influence he was able to open up a bit about how he really felt.

Don't let that fool you, his lips were sealed!

He did not say anything about thinking you were cute or nothing!

He just stopped telling you to fuck off every time you came up for a chat.

He didn't know why you kept coming around when he had been an asshole so many times.

He figured it was because your choices for companionship was limited.

He wasn't complaining.

When he got hurt while out looking for Sofia, he'd never admit it, but he thought for a moment that he was going to die, and that fear made him think of you.

Who would look after you when he was gone?

Sure he never went out of his way to ask you how you were or if you needed anything, but he did look after you!

He’d take note of which meats were your favorites and how you liked them cooked, and he'd do what he could to make sure the food was good so you'd eat.

He would always look you over after walkers are dealt with, even if you were nowhere near it!

He just had to make sure.

Daryl would prefer to wait for you to go to sleep before he did.

He had to know where you were at all times, never asking anyone but always looking around for you.

What he didn't know, is that you noticed these things, and that's why you kept coming back.

When the farm fell, he refused to think about you while him and Carol slowly made their way back to the highway.

Worrying about you would throw him off, the man needed to focus.

How was he supposed to keep him and Carol alive if he was busy crying over you?

But the release of pressure in his chest when he saw you standing there made him realizes just how whipped he was.

Still never said anything or let his eyes linger to long.

It was in the road(Before the prison) that you cornered him.

You were all hold up in a house. Daryl was taking watch at the front door while the rest if the gang slept upstairs.

You were supposed to be sleeping, but your mind wouldn't shut up.

He definitely didn't smile a little when he recognized the sound of your feet coming down the stairs.

He didn't let his eyes wonder at you when you came to stand by him at the boarded up window.

And he most definitely didn't blush as dark as a strawberry when he felt you wiggle under his arms and press into his side.

He just let you rest in his arms until you started to get sleepy, and without having to say anything he lead you to the couch and let you rest your head in his lap while he tried not to squirm.

But he did vow to let you hold him as much as you wanted from then on.

He was after all touch starved and became very clingy after you gave him a taste of genuine affection.

That was fun! Part 2 maybe..? 🫣

•Kermitt’s Masterlist•

[atom-writings]

Sugar daddy russia with female s/o please ⭐

hetalia russia with a sugar baby

1.1k words ~ feminine headcanons + mini scenario

tw: ivan is possesive and intimidating, other than that, none!

a/n: thanks for this request <3 very self indulgent for me ngl

Ivan has always been a lonely man. Every romantic partner he’s had over his many centuries of living has left him, usually quite quickly. But despite his many disastrous failures, he's never been afraid to try again.

In his earlier years, he could've just bought a woman to keep him company. He had often thought about it, but would always realize that he couldn't live with himself if he did so. It was simply too disrespectful.

But nowadays there are other ways to get a woman's affection. He doesn't mind those quite as much.

Ivan has no moral qualms about paying for you to stay with him. He knows you're lying when you tell him you love him, but he frankly doesn't care. You're telling him it anyway.

He doesn’t like matching outfits very much. He appreciates seeing your own style come out more than his. But, he always blushes whenever you include a little sunflower or flag accessory in your wardrobe.

He appreciates you showing him affection anywhere, but he especially loves it in public. Usually, everyone is so afraid to be seen with him, so he always loses his composure whenever you hold his hand in front of others.

Your relationship is going to be physical. That's a requirement for him. He's incredibly touch-starved and as such, constantly has his hands all over you. He's paying for your body, isn't he?

Giving you only cash isn't a problem, but he definitely prefers going on shopping sprees with him. Sometimes, when he's especially lonely, he won't give you money; only allowing you to go to the store with him to pay.

He's rarely forceful with anything he wants; he really wants you to be just as happy as he is. Anything his sugar baby wants, she can get.

Loves to show you off. Of course, you can't mention that he's paying for your love, but you always come with him to social events. You're just his beautiful little darling, always hanging onto his arm and doing little else. Just how he likes it.

If anyone asks, he's only “paying to put you through university.”

Your relationship won't be sexual, at least for a while. If he were paying for your body in that way, you'd be a prostitute, and he wouldn't like that. That might change if he thinks your feelings towards him have become more genuine, but otherwise, nothing more than kissing.

You don't have to do very much to earn your allowance, he's more than happy to give just to see your face every day.

He doesn’t want you looking at, much less thinking about other men. Once you’re “dating” him, he’s the only man for you. Very rarely will he make exceptions to that rule.

He likes the kind of... talk that comes along with it for the most part, but he doesn't like being called “Daddy.”

In his mind, that's too vulgar of a phrase. That's not what your relationship is. He's more traditional romantically when it comes to that.

If he's in a bad mood, he'll be sure to stay far away from his sugar baby. He doesn't want to snap at you, much less you snap back at him. That'd shatter the perfect image of your relationship his mind has concocted.

He does expect you to come to comfort him at any hour, though. He'd do the same for you, so you had better do that for him.

It's hard for him to get angry at his darling. But if he does get frustrated, he'll cut you off for a short time. Never more than a week. (And, if it was an emergency, he'd put his own hurt feelings aside to help you.)

He may be violent around you, but never towards you. It's hard enough for him to build up the courage to touch you softly, he could never hurt you physically. But... he's also not afraid to punch a hole through a nearby wall to intimidate you.

He wants good behaviour, that's it. He's paying for you to be perfect, not to be a brat.

Other than that, he'd be a pretty great sugar daddy. Besides, you know, the problems but... you'd be getting that from Ivan no matter what.

“Mister Braginsky?” You call out, hesitantly entering his home using your spare key. About 30 minutes ago now, he had called you briefly, asking for you to come over.

“In the living room!“ His heavily accented voice responds from deeper in the home, accompanied by the faint sound of tinny jazz. It seemed as if his house was never truly quiet. He seemed to hate silence.

You walk into the living room, facing him sitting on the couch. His features are only visible through the warm glow of his crackling fireplace, giving his smile an uncanny look.

”Come, sit with me, Lyoubov.“ He beckons, motioning for him to join him on the couch.

Never one to disappoint a client, you quickly set your bag down and rush towards him. You no longer needed a request to know what he wanted, and as such you quickly made yourself comfortable in his lap.    

As soon as you relaxed against him, he let out a shaky sigh. Now, you could make out faint tear tracks running down his cheeks. But he didn't let it show in his composure.

Gently, he gathered your skirt closer to you, running his rough hands up and down your smooth thighs, ”I'm happy that you came.“

”Why wouldn't I?” You ask softly, running your fingers through his silver locks.

“Most people do not like to be around me. I know that you are... like that as well, but you pretend you aren't. I... I appreciate your labour.”

“It's not much of a 'labour,'“ You start to say, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek, ”You make it easy to be around you, Ivan.“

”Do you really believe that? I want you to be honest.“ He asks seriously, pausing his affection.

”Yeah, of course I do.“ You scoff, shrugging slightly with a smile.

”Even if I stopped giving you your allowance?“

You pause, considering your answer, ”You'd still be a nice person. I just... wouldn't be around you anymore. That's the deal we have, Mister Braginsky.“

He smiles, bringing his hands up your thighs, ”I know. That is alright with me, moya solnishka.“

Before you could react, he brought his face to yours in a passionate kiss. As you wrapped your arms around his waist in response, he only laid a hand on the back of your head, holding you ever closer.

After a moment that felt like an hour, he pulled away, face flushed and breath heavy. You couldn't help but press yourself against him more, craving the warmth of his affection once again.

”I'll keep you around as long as you'll let me, does that sound good, lyoubov?“

”Anything sounds good if it's with you, Ivan.“

[froguemorgue]

(2) Creature Feature: The Laurens Son Out For Blood!

vampire drabble pt 2/?

historical lams

cw for blood! and slight sexuality

<< [part 1]

There was one particular incident which redefined Laurens' relationship to his companion, except it was entirely on his side - and Hamilton was none the wiser. It wasn't the first time they'd kissed or the first time they got in close enough to feel one another's shapes beneath their sheets. It was much more complicated than their improper desires.

It had been a common mistake, really, a slip of the letter opener one night as they worked, the last two left in the room. Laurens looked up immediately, nose sensitive to the smell. It wasn't much blood. It was enough, however, for him to have the excuse to stand up, pull his handkerchief from his pocket, and stain the white.

The reaction was born of genuine concern, then when his hands tenderly squeezed Hamilton's with the fine fabric between them, he realized how sweet he smelled. He was leaning in without realizing, still awkwardly pressed over the table. Hamilton was looking at him, assuming his eyes focused on their clasped hands had more to do with Laurens' shyness than what really was bothering him. Hamilton did not look around before shifting to stand, squeezing his hands tighter, kissing him gently on the corner of his lips. He'd whispered, "I'm all right. There was no need to dirty your kerchief."

Laurens cleared his throat, took it back slowly. He folded it and placed it in his pocket again. "I'm sorry, I think I'll retire to our room early."

That worried Hamilton. "Finished your letter?"

"About an hour ago," he admitted. He gathered his papers.

As he went around the table and passed him, Hamilton asked, "What's caused your sudden retreat?"

He kissed Hamilton's cheek to reassure him that, "I'm not retreating. I'll be awake when you come to bed, just don't work too much longer."

"All right. I'll be up shortly."

With that squared away, Laurens left in a hurry. He couldn't wait to get upstairs, instead pulled out the small square of bloodied fabric as soon as he turned the corner. It was against his nose in an instant. Once he was in their room, he could no longer refrain. He could have swallowed the fabric whole. He tasted it, and god, it was sweet. It was everything he'd been craving.

From then on, nothing was the same between them. No amount of blood from anywhere else could get Hamilton's off his mind.

•

Laurens was sweating and shivering, stomach twisting in knots, his mouth dry.  His feverish withdrawal was making him go mad.  He whimpered and curled against the blanket.  It was summer again, but he was so cold.  His skin, however, felt hot, and he knew this.  His own blood was boiling as if in response to not being able to feed.

He knew this withdrawal all too well.  There was nobody in camp he could get away with drinking from, the animals had hardly sustained him in the past, and they had not seen battle in many, many weeks. Only the ill could provide him blood but they would affect him adversely, and Laurens had a strict principal against it: not our men.  And now that it was too late, he was too weak to hunt and had not made smart decisions with his last flask of human blood.

Laurens attempted to still his movement when he heard approaching footsteps. He feigned to be asleep as they neared his bedside. He knew all this time he wasn't going to last; no nurse nor doctor was capable of fixing him and upon examination, surely they would find more wrong with his body than the lack of blood. For his kind, withdrawal was a terminal illness. Worse than coming off an addiction to alcohol or opium, worse than starving to death.

A sudden dreadful realization befell him. Who was it that came to visit him daily? Who braved the tent, the man who dared sit by a feverish soldier? Laurens unwillingly felt his eyes flutter open despite the anger he felt towards Hamilton. How dare he care so much? How dare he suffer when Laurens inevitably passes away?

"You're awake. How are you feeling?" Hamilton asked, afraid of the answer. Laurens beheld the man, drinking in the sight of him.

"Well. I said to leave me," he reminded, knowing Hamilton would refuse, as he had every day.

"How are you really feeling?" he repeated.

"Not well."

Hamilton wiped Laurens' face with his thumbs. He knew Laurens had been crying but rather than embarrass him, he tried to make him feel better. Oh, what would their mothers say of them, now? He, who was practically evil incarnate, and Hamilton, who has lain with him; loved him; sinned and soberly wanted every second of it. Hamilton laid down on the bed as well, much to Laurens' frustration, though he had made room for him - for he did not want to offend.

As he'd said every day, Laurens muttered, "Don't catch what I have."

"I've told you I won't have this conversation. If I was going to catch your illness, it would show by now. It's not unlikely I'm immune to whatever it is... you know I've had every illness known and survived them all. You're greater a man than anyone in this army. You will beat it. ...You're burning up," Hamilton whispered, a little defeated though his speech aimed to rally. He put his head to Laurens' shoulder and reached up with his left hand to touch his forehead.

"I know you mean well. Your encouragement is touching but it cannot change what the Lord has decided."

"No."

"Alexander. This is it for me," he whispered almost shamefully.

"I will not leave you."

"I do not want you here when I die."

Hamilton held him with his index and thumb by the jaw, none too gentle. His voice raised with anger when he said, "Shut your damned mouth! You will not die."

Laurens defensively groaned and felt another shiver course through him.  He could practically smell the warm blood pulsing through Hamilton's veins.  He feared he wouldn't be able to help himself for much longer and he didn't want Hamilton to get hurt. 

He sat up now, sickness washing over him in waves. He stared Hamilton in the eyes and kept his mouth shut, lips in a thin-pressed frown.

"I will not leave," Hamilton repeated again, less sure of himself as his own lip quivered. "Why should I leave you?  What sort of man would I be?"

Laurens shook his head.  "A man of basic intellect."

"Perhaps."

"Do you understand I can't be saved?"

"Lie back down."

"Goddammit, I can't.  I cannot be near you." He simply could not trust himself.

Hamilton said nothing, making it clear that he would not leave.  Laurens grumbled and laid down.  They did this song and dance every day, but one of these days, one of them was going to die.

"You won't die," Hamilton said again, like declaring it would make it true, "you cannot. It... wouldn't be right. You are the greatest man who ever lived."

Laurens shook his head, pressed his lips to Hamilton's neck.  He felt his pulse quicken and pulled away.  He couldn't help but lean back in as he whispered against his throat, "I am anything but. I deserve what is in store for me." It was a bad idea to be close. Oh, the delicious, tempting rush of blood through vital arteries... the sweet smell of unsuspecting prey. 

Prey!—was that all his friend was reduced to?  Food?  The time they had spent together, and here Laurens was, thinking of him merely as prey? 

"I have many lamentations, I've agonized over my life and its circumstances, but what I regret most is having spent so long holding back," Hamilton whispered.  Laurens turned to face him, still shivering.  "Had we know one another sooner, we could have had more time..." This felt like punishment. Hamilton had never been allowed to keep love. It was stupid to place his bets on a soldier who risked his life for empty glory.

Laurens knew it was punishment for a sin worse than lying with another man. To explain how he came to be a vampire, however, Laurens could argue his sexual deviancy was what started this all in the first place: the reason he was who he was, was conflated with all crimes he'd committed against Heaven. Hell awaited him and he hadn't even lived a full lifetime, let alone a lifetime for a vampire.

Hamilton pressed forward and hesitantly kissed him.  Laurens initially tried to pull back but couldn't make himself do so.  He did want to kiss him.  He wanted to savor it.  He wanted this to last forever. He hardly let Hamilton pull away for a breath.

Hamilton whispered, "I wish we could have forever to—"

Laurens kissed him so he was unable to go on. He kissed him with fervor, trembling and needy. Hamilton breathed out through his nose and slipped his tongue through Laurens' lips.  His breath was hotter than his head.

Laurens pulled away just as suddenly and pushed their foreheads together, both breathless. "Let me drink you."

There was a slight discrepancy in Hamilton's interpretation of that. He smiled at the desire, shook his head. "You are too ill to be wanting—"

Before he could stop the thoughts, he repeated himself, attempting to look him in the eyes and use the trick he'd learned from Kinloch. "Let me drink from you. Alexander...”

Hamilton blinked as he pulled back slightly - not enough to keep his throat away from his lover's teeth, but enough to find unease in the look Laurens was giving him. Was he more than feverish? Why did he have such a dark hunger in his eyes?

"Look at me...” Laurens could see his initial attempt to compel him was futile. He put his hands on his face. "In the eyes..."

Suddenly, for reasons he could not place considering how he might have reacted to that command under different circumstances, Hamilton felt wary beyond simple discomfort. He looked away. Laurens pulled his face back to him and kissed him in a fury. If he wasn't going to trust him, this is how it had to be. He'd kiss him now and find a way to control his thoughts with what little strength he had left, whether or not he had to weaken him first to do so, whether that meant touching him where all men were weak or simply biting him now, perhaps fix it later.

Starvation wouldn't just kill a vampire. Starvation first made a vampire sick as though with consumption, then they became hideous to their core, corrupt, more violent than ever, incapable of control, as far from human as could be. Laurens didn't want it to be this way. There was a reason he'd told Hamilton to leave, and as their mouths acquainted, he tried to talk himself out of what his body told him to do next. His mind raced and began to justify it: you told him to leave and he didn't, so whose fault is it, really? You tried.

Then, as if to interrupt or fast-forward these ideas, Hamilton felt something sharp poke his tongue.  He made a startled noise but rather than pull away, he moved his tongue to feel the canines in Laurens' mouth - something he'd never seen or felt before. Their kiss tasted like blood. Laurens knew it, wanted it more, did not comprehend at first that it meant something bad, only sucked on his tongue, the source of the blood, and tried to keep their faces together until it dawned on him and he pushed Hamilton away, horrified. There had been that split second of control... then, he grabbed Hamilton's shoulders so he couldn't get too far from him, swiftly wrestling him to his back even in his weak state of body and mind. He couldn't let him leave now.

"You... cut me," Alexander said quietly, feeling his own pulse in his tongue, still tasting blood. Laurens drew back, turning his face. He had never lost himself like this and allowed his fangs to cut Hamilton, but he was feverish and stupid. The thought of blood, the taste aroused him. His fangs came out on their own. So this time, with Hamilton's wrists against the cot, he hesitantly opened his mouth, displayed what he had so carefully hidden for nearly two years. Two unmistakably predatory teeth on either side of his front four incisors.

"My God..." Hamilton's eyes were wide and Laurens quickly strengthened his hold, afraid he'd leave. He tried to look him in the eyes again, but Hamilton's guard was already up, twisting a little to test how fucked he was in this position. His heart raced, refusing to look at him, convinced some creature must have replaced his friend, suddenly overtaken by a wave of grief and anger.

"What the fuck are you? What's happened to Laurens?"

"I am Laurens."

"I'll call for help," he threatened. Hamilton's gritted teeth suddenly turned to an open jaw as he sucked in breath, and Laurens put a hand over his mouth right as he screamed, managing to muffle it just in time. With his arm free, Hamilton punched him in the face, more effective than it normally would have been if he was healthy. Hamilton got enough momentum from startling him that he rolled off the cot and onto the matted down grass of the tent's ground and scrambled at once to stand. The exit was right there. Hardly a few feet and he'd be in view of the rest of the camp, and a quick sprint from this creature would make him safe again.

His fingertips barely brushed the canvas flap of the tent before the monster occupying his friend's body was behind him, an arm around his chest, hand clasped tightly over his mouth. Hamilton felt a strange mix of fear and the returning desire that he'd felt kissing him a moment ago. He fought and screamed under his hand, but nothing came of it. Still, he was alive, when it was clear those teeth and that strength could have killed him. He stopped struggling against him. He had questions, he needed answers, he needed to know before he died what had happened to his beloved friend.

"Are you finished?" asked Laurens quietly, exhausted and ready to lay down again, the mere droplets of blood having achieved nothing permanent. Luckily for him, Hamilton nodded hesitantly. "Then I will remove my hand. If you so much as raise your voice, I must cover your mouth again. You understand. Are we in agreement?"

Another nod.

So he slowly unclasped his hand, and Hamilton, though he breathed heavily, did not speak.

"Promise me you will not run," said Laurens.

Hamilton tried to pull his arms out of the tight hold Laurens had him in. "You seem quite strong enough to stop me."

Laurens released him but found himself grabbing at his coat to keep him near, to turn him around, and finally meet his eyes with a tenderness a beast would be incapable of. It stabbed Hamilton's heart effectively. He walked him to the bed and sat him down, wobbling on his feet, too weak to remain standing but he knew showing that weakness might incite another escape attempt and Laurens wasn't sure he had it in him to catch him again. He sat on the cot beside him and took his hands gently.

He spoke softly, "Please, of your own accord, don't leave. I wouldn't harm you. There is no man separate from the beast. It is only me, your friend." He looked him in his eyes properly this time, deeply. "I want you to choose not to run from me, to listen to me explain without resistance."

Hamilton felt fear, an instinct for self preservation, but suddenly, he had no desire to run; he trusted Laurens; a great enough part of him believed his closest friend. He owed that trust to him, at least, not to mention the many promises to never abandon him, no matter what happened. So he said calmly, "I will not leave you until you explain."

Laurens sighed, head dropping. He whispered, "Let me drink from you. Only a little of your blood and I will live. I know it's a ridiculous request—"

"You are damn right it is. What are you?"

"I am cursed, Alexander, cursed. Cursed to nourish myself with blood. I am a vampire - not the beasts of fiction, a true vampire. I am so sorry. I didn't wish for you to happen upon this and I— I'd hoped I should be dead before you ever did discover it. I'm... sick because I'm starving."

"Starving for my blood?"

"Any blood. I haven't been able to feed.  I have no desire to kill one of our own, animal blood does not sustain me, and I've gone too long since our last battle and I am going to go mad if I don't have something. Weak, deranged. It was an accident when I cut you."

Hamilton shifted uncomfortably, drawing away from him slightly, and sucked on his bleeding tongue.  So sharp was Laurens' fang, though it had barely scraped him, and on accident, at that.

"How long have you been this way?"

"Longer than I've known you."

"And you never told me?"

"Alexander, I am half a monster. When exactly was I supposed to tell you?" he asked, head now in his hand, and now that everything was still, his shaking and paleness seemed obvious once more.

"Are you still the same man? My friend?"

Laurens turned his head and closed his eyes.  Hamilton's blood smelled so sweet.  He had hoped he'd offer it, though it would be ungentlemanly. He was unsure if in his response he was trying to butter Alexander up or not... "I've... always been the same man."

"I feared... you were dead and something's taken your place."

"No. Sadly, this creature you see before you has always been so."

"Can you prove it?"

"How?"

Much to his surprise, Hamilton kissed him so Laurens could taste the blood again, and he pressed his tongue forward so as to allow Laurens to get every last drop he could, but only for a minute. He pulled back, inhaled deeply, and reached for Laurens' hand, sure by his restraint alongside his hunger that he must truly be John.

"If I object to you feeding on me?"

"I never lied about my sentiments toward you. I won't ask again. If you don't leave me here to die, perhaps instead might you seek out somebody who would be able to feed me. Not one of our men, preferably."

"But that may take days, and you look more dead by the hour. ...Drink from me. I have no choice but to believe you. If you find it gratifying, you have my permission." He was beginning to untie his cravat.

Laurens sat up. "I won't bite you there. It will be too messy." He took Hamilton's wrist to his lips.  He smelled it, pressed it gently against his upper lip, and felt the pulse.  Hamilton shifted towards him.  "You are generous to offer your own throat," Laurens spoke softly now. "Your arm will do."

"Pardon such an inept question, but... will it hurt?"

He gave him a look. "It will. I can help you to not feel the pain if you'd like."

"Do what you must."

Laurens suddenly felt guilty - as if all along, he'd wanted Alexander to be his lover because he knew of the selfless nature of the man - knew that once he discovered his secret, he'd provide free blood for as long as they were together. He knew this and still, he sought more than a chaste friendship. He knew this and still revealed his secret. He knew this and still told Hamilton the key to survival, knowing Hamilton was it, knowing Hamilton would offer. What putrescence, what waste, Laurens hated himself for this evil growing inside him like a mold.

Yet death crawled nearer and nearer and he'd always loved Alexander's smell, and to taste him so intimately would be unbelievably romantic.

"You will feel weak, but I can feed you my own blood to nurse you back to your normal self. It will heal you much quicker. But I should tell you... your ingestion of my blood will bond us. I will be able to sense you when we are apart... and feel your emotions. I can come for you when you are in danger but it is as much an invasion of your heart and mind as it is a gift. I fear you may be unable to keep secrets from me, even simple ones. I would not make the decision haphazardly to trade your privacy for the brief comfort of healing quicker, when bandages and a day of rest would do the same."

Hamilton felt a hesitant smile creep onto his lips. "I must be back to work at once. I cannot afford a day of rest. And if you are what you say you are, is this outcome not the best? I would indeed trade my privacy for safety, if only to you."

"Are you sure, my dear?" he asked, as though he'd be able to resist now with his nose pressed to the crook of his elbow. He thought of resistance, of what he'd asked Hamilton to do, and whether his responses felt appropriate, natural. Plausible.

"Yes."

Laurens grew guiltier. He felt somehow even guiltier as he used his free hand to pull his legs closer, tangle their bodies, feel the want, the need. “You may not find it pleasurable.”

"I've never shied from a little pain.  All I wish is to nourish you. I am begging."

Laurens brushed his hair from his face, queue loosened in their earlier struggle. Overwhelmed suddenly with relief that there was hope to save Laurens, that he would never die, that he had a way to take this beast and keep him as his own, that he did not have to lose a friend today, Hamilton grabbed his face, pressing their foreheads together, their noses, moving to feel his cheek on his own, until neither could stand it and Laurens kissed him properly. He delighted in Laurens sucking on his tongue, hoped he could get blood from the laceration still, and Hamilton hardly considered before he repeated the motion that cut him in the first place, deliberately striking his tongue against his fang. Let John taste more blood. Kept the kiss breathlessly close.

At last, Laurens pulled away and let out what was just short of a growl against his covered throat. He wanted it too much. He'd starved for days. Yet a part of him had always lived this way, giving in only a little bit, building up as he strictly forbade himself from pleasure, until the animal in him came out and he inevitably gave in. He was used to hunger of all kinds. Laurens lightly dragged his teeth down the soft skin of Hamilton's neck and to his collar. He wondered if he might die from this torturous hunger or die from the overwhelming pleasure that would sooner follow. With his hand that wasn't supporting Hamilton, he worked to strip him of his coat.  Hamilton made a small noise and tried to help to undo his clothing himself. He'd dreamed about this moment so, so many times before. He wanted his first and perhaps only time drinking from him to last as long as he could stand. His appreciation and love and desire was in a gruesome battle with that empty, unbridled starvation.

Laurens managed to untie the cravat and then unbutton the shirt.

"John."

It was the only thing his tongue managed to say. Anything else, any more syllables or words, would be too much for him.

"Yes?" Laurens whispered. His nose brushed just barely on Hamilton's cheek.

His eyes had been squeezed shut, but he opened them to try to see how his question might affect his friend. "Do you love me?"

Laurens kissed the soft skin of his cheek. Of course he loved him, he'd loved him for too long now, so much that it hurt. He had been told to let go of worldly attachments, especially ones to humans who he'd outlive; still he fell hard in love with the velocity at which Icarus fell from the sky.

He tipped his head down and took Hamilton's wrist to his lips, planting a kiss there, subsequently feeling the pulse of blood under his lips.  He could smell every sweet heartbeat, how it jumped when he neared.

Will this make you love me? Have I proven myself worthy yet?

"Alexander. You know I love you." He kissed where he intended to bite again. "Look at me." They were making eye-contact. "Do you trust me?"

"Why didn't you drink my blood before?"

"I didn't want you to see me."

"Now that I know," he whispered, "are you going to take it anyway? If my refusal was the only imaginary barrier between your life and your death, would you use your strength against me? What might you do if I was afraid of you and made it my duty to report you?"

Laurens made the conscious effort to keep his grip gentle. He knew now that he wouldn't run, but before, he was certain he'd have to take it. It was easier with his compliance now to reassure him: "I don't want to hurt you. I would understand your apprehension towards me. I'm a monster unlike any other you have known - your fear is natural."

"What would you do?" His chest was rising and falling dramatically beneath Laurens' body. He was touching him, and gravitating towards him, and he found something so erotic in the nature of his hunger, even if it was predatory.

"I'd be forced to run." That was the truth sometimes, other times, the hungrier he grew every day of his sickness, the plan became, if Hamilton didn't keep uis distance, or course, to feed and compel him to forget, never speak on it again, just to have him in his life even if he could never know he was a vampire. If he'd done it with just a bit more conviction, got Alex to look him in the eyes properly before he cut his tongue, he could have done it.

Was it dishonest? Of course. But he was willing to do anything to keep him in his life. "Or I'd bid you forget, go our separate ways. I don't know if I'd be able to stomach losing you. But my dear friend, I would never harm you. I far value your life over mine. Do you still trust me?" he asked.

Alex nodded very slowly.

Still looking in his eyes, Laurens whispered, "This won't hurt one bit. You're going to feel nothing but pleasure. Pain doesn't exist when my teeth touch your arm. Do you understand?"

He nodded again. There was an unfamiliarly blank look in his eyes. Laurens hated the lack of awareness and intellect that marked the free-will of a human being, all left behind as his influence took its place, made the victim empty. "After it's over, you'll come back to yourself and be the same as ever. You will not hesitate to drink my blood when I offer it to you. I do love you, Alexander, and I thank you for this."

His lips neared the inside of his elbow and he bit down on Hamilton's arm. It was soft as a peach, easy. He sucked with his lips around the wound, lapping the precious juice that would otherwise dribble down his chin. Hamilton hissed a delightful noise so Laurens continued to drink greedily, pleased by the sound, even more pleased by the flavor. He knew he smelled good, but never knew he could taste so sweet. Perhaps that was the hunger - or perhaps it was his overwhelming sentiments - but he had never had blood so fulfilling.

[harocat]

Heartbreaking thoughts about Tantai Jin hour. I'm just thinking about how the whole first timeline of the series, Tantai Jin had no idea that Li Susu and Ye Xiwu were two different people.

Literally, from his perspective, Ye Xiwu just started being nice to him out of the blue after months of physical and emotional abuse; whipping him every night, leaving him out in the cold essentially to die, and letting him almost starve.

Yet, after Li Susu transmigrated into her body, he still wholly and unabashedly fell in love with 'Ye Xiwu', opening his heart wide open to her and offering his entire self up to her. He loved her almost unconditionally; even when he thought LSS poisoned him, he forgave her the moment she came back. Even after LSS really did do the soul shattering nails, though he tried to hate her, it wasn't possible.

And I can't think of many other things that speak to the depth of his loneliness and need for affection than that, because it seems like he just went 'well she's different now' and didn't even bring it up. Like this man was abused to the point of near torture for MONTHS, by the real Ye Xiwu, but it was just 'in the past' for him. Maybe a part of him was going 'I've changed, so maybe YXW has as well', but the thing is that even when Li Sisu questioned his morality at points, he never retorted with 'remember what you used to do to me?' He wouldn't use the behavior of the real Ye Xiwu against her even when it was relevant. This poor man is so fucked up.

Because this wasn't like, an abusive relationship where the real Ye Xiwu was kind to him sometimes and interspersed it with cruelty, then Li Susu came along and turned to just kindness. It was a total personality switch. He never brought it up. He was that scared of not being loved. The level of pain, the level of desperation he must have been in to just go 'well it doesn't matter because she's nice to me now', and to go as far as to even see LSS as a light, a person he aspires to emulate and the moral center of his world, despite the real YXW's behavior, is immeasurable. It kills me.

One of the reasons I love immortal era of them the most is because he knows all of this now. He knows the woman he loved was NEVER Ye Xiwu, and I think it's really important for forming a genuinely healthy relationship between the two. I can imagine a weight he didn't even know was there just lifting off his chest the moment he realizes it's Li Susu he's loved all along, and how freeing that must have been (we sort of see this in the scene where he realizes it's not him she hated, but the devil god). As cute as they are in the Jing Kingdom arc, and yes they are so cute, the baggage is immense. They can only begin to drop that when all the truths come out between them.

[lee-lucius]

A New Kind of Affection

Summary: Izzy Hands accidentally reveals how touch-starved he is to Stede, who is more than happy to help.

Word Count: 2,765

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year @aaaxolotl I was your Secret Santa! This was super fun to get to make, and I hope you enjoy! 💙

He still wasn't quite sure how Stede had dragged him into any of this. 

It hadn't been long, only a week or two, since Stede called him into his room, oddly similar to tonight. He'd asked for them to dine together, and well, Izzy didn't see much of a reason not to indulge his captain in his strange request.

They met in Stede's room for a surprisingly pleasant dinner, though Izzy felt unsurprisingly underdressed compared to his host's garish outfits, and he was well aware his table manners left much to be desired, but neither of those had been quite necessary for a pirate's life, and Stede didn't seem to mind, not when he was seemingly so enthralled by the company. 

Through Izzy teaching him how to fight, they'd grown fairly comfortable with each other, building up a rapport that was considerably less antagonistic than it had been before. They fell back into it over dinner with ease, perhaps more amiable than they'd ever been, and Izzy found himself even laughing at a few of Stede's jokes, though he hid it behind a strategic cough or two.

Neither of them realized, or cared, just how much they were drinking until they were stumbling around the room, hiccuping around their laughter, for once a genuine smile on Izzy's face.

Memories of that night were fuzzy, and what happened next wasn't entirely clear, but he crumbled under Stede's inquisitive gaze, his warm smile, his soft whispers, and he'd admitted something he shouldn't have.

Something he'd hoped that they'd both forget come morning, even when Stede squeezed his hand before he left, promising something about him being more included, more appreciated, before Izzy stumbled back to his own quarters, flushed from more than just the booze. 

He wished he hadn't admitted it. His jealousy when he watched his crewmates, or his captains, and saw the easy air around them, the casual touches and comfort; something about them made envy stir in his chest, thinking about the kind of relationship he hadn't let himself have for years, or maybe ever when he really thought about it.

Now, on The Revenge, it seemed more of a possibility than it ever had before. After breaking down, being vulnerable, Izzy was welcomed; something had shifted; whether it was in him or his surroundings, he didn't know, but it was a good change, no matter how uncomfortable it had been.

His relationship with the crew was different now. Friendly, because he'd finally allowed himself to be open to their friendship, and the change was more gratifying than he ever would've thought.

It was the most relaxed, most relieved Izzy had been in a long time, but he still wanted more, even if he felt he didn't deserve it.

He never would've pursued it ordinarily, admitted it to anyone besides himself, if his drunken self hadn't betrayed him entirely.

But that change, the change Stede brought on, was a good change too.

When they'd met again the next morning, Izzy more pissy than usual with his aching head, he thought Stede may have forgotten it based on his aimless ramblings filled with pleasantries that Izzy had to bite his tongue to sit through. 

Stede asked him again to meet him later in his room, and Izzy agreed; he hadn't expected what happened. 

He supposed it would be like the previous night, a pleasant conversation, perhaps a shared meal, a drink or two, though certainly not as much as they'd indulged it before.

And it had started that way. There was something about Stede, something that used to make Izzy's skin crawl, his anger, his annoyance overpowering everything else he felt about it, but now it only filled him with warmth, an easy, familiar feeling that allowed him to unwind. That must've been why he didn't suspect anything, certainly not when he and Stede shared a drink, casually picking at a tray of assorted snacks he'd prepared.

Maybe he should've; when Stede sat next to him this time, instead of sitting across from on the other side of his long table. It could still be ignored whenever they bumped shoulders or when one of them shifted slightly, their knees accidentally touching, or when they both reached forward at the same time, hands colliding for the briefest second before Izzy pulled back.

Until their food was finished, abs the conversation lulled, a not uncomfortable silence enveloping them as they nursed their drinks, and Stede, seeming to muster all of his courage, leaned into him, curling into Izzy's side and resting his glass on his shoulder with a content sigh.

Izzy stiffened, and his muscles didn't relax again for a long time, but they both kept the silence, and Stede didn't move.

His breath was steady, ghosting against Izzy's cheek and leaving a faint trace of Stede's wine, fruity and rich. While his hair was soft, delicate strands brushing against and tickling his ear, but he couldn't be bothered at the proximity, at his hair that was too lovely and soft and clean to ever belong to a pirate, yet here Stede was. Izzy wondered if it was Stede's pulse or his own that he felt, drumming violently against his skin, wondered if it mattered.

Not long afterwards, Izzy excused himself, and they parted ways; this time, he had no excuse for his blush.

-

He didn't know why Stede kept inviting him, or why he kept coming.

It wasn't something he was familiar with. His family had never been awfully affectionate. And as he got older, as he became a pirate, the opportunities became fewer and fewer.

Most contact came during a fight, in the form of a sword or gun or swinging fist, where the only pleasure that could be found came from the adrenaline coursing through his body, the satisfaction of winning, of surviving. There were few other means that arose on a ship aside from boyish tussling, accidentally knocking shoulders with his crewmates, or the rare moments of intimacy when he let someone else, let Ed, tend to his wounds after a particularly bad fight.

But Stede Bonnet came along with his eccentric, unpirate-like ideals and continued to confuse Izzy the same way he had since the first day he met. Bringing that unnecessary frivolity with him and introducing everyone to lavish comforts they didn't want to forgo. 

That, he supposed, was why he continued to join Stede; he didn't want to give it up just yet.

Which was why he was sitting on his couch, thumbing through a book from Stede's library, which was still a horrible idea, even if it made for interesting entertainment, with Stede next to him, hand holding Izzy's as he thumbed through his own novel.

It was one of the more relaxing ways he'd spent an evening in quite awhile, or it would've been, if there wasn't one thing nagging him, making his mouth twitch as the uncomfortable feeling spread. "Stop that?"

"What?"

"The hand," he murmured, gesturing with his neck as he struggled to insert his bookmark with only one hand.

"Oh," he let go, a slight frown tugging at his face as he leaned away a touch. "Sorry."

"Not you. Just tickled a bit."

Stede paused, the smile returning with a playful twist, "You're ticklish?"

He grunted, eyeing him warily. "Guess so. Never really been before."

"I've gotten into a few good-natured scuffles in my time. It can be quite fun!"

"You like it?" He couldn't help asking, surprised at the sudden admission. 

"Well, I've certainly always enjoyed it."

Izzy huffed out a laugh. He supposed it wasn't that surprising; Stede always had been odd, and it was just like him to like that kind of thing, something so strangely cute.

Leaning back, his eyes raked over Stede, cautiously debating in his head. It was clear as day that Stede was comfortable with him; the only limiting factor seemed to be Izzy's own hesitance, his lack of familiarity with the casual touches Stede so readily gave. He was being quite open about his fondness for tickling, almost suspiciously so. And while Izzy had never even dreamed of tickling someone before, had never even been the one to initiate contact between him and Stede in a non-violent manner, he supposed that here, now, wouldn't be a bad time to start.

"Let's see it then," he shifted, angling his body as he leaned closer to Stede, searching his eyes for any tinge of desire, of excitement.

"Go right ahead!"

His smile grew, eyes brightening at the prospect, but there was an undercurrent of shyness there, weighing down his cheerful expression, matching Izzy's own nerves. 

Slowly, he reached his hand out, touch and hesitant as he dragged in along Stede's arm, grazing his silken shirt. While Izzy had never been tickled directly, he'd experienced it plenty of times through accidental touches brushing against his own sensitive spots, so he had a fair idea where Stede would be ticklish; he just didn't know how much he could handle, yet.

Keeping his touch light, Izzy placed a hand in his stomach, unable to help a smile at his small gasp, and gently dug his fingers in, scratching at him through the cloth. 

At his deep breath, Izzy's eyes flitted back up to Stede's face, taking in his widening smile, perhaps brighter than he'd ever seen it before, as a giggle erupted from his lips, more pushing through in a steady stream of laughter as Izzy brought his other hand up to squeeze Stede's sides.

"Pretty sensitive, aren't you, Bonnet?"

"I suhuhppohose!" He huffed out, hands clenching and unclenching in his lap, trying to stay still for Izzy.

"I wonder where else…" he hummed, fingers dragging up towards his ribs, lightly pinching the crevices as Stede huffed. He was less ticklish there, but it was worth it to see the way his eyes crinkled, squeezing shut with a whine at Izzy's relentless pokes and prods to the area.

He continued exploring, marveling at how his armpits made Stede shoot his arms down, his resolve not to impede Izzy crumbling at the overwhelming sensations, while his neck made him scrunch up, looking oddly reminiscent of a turtle. Even his ears were ticklish, and quite sensitive to gentle scratches and traces, even more so when Izzy blew gentle puffs of air on them, making him squeal.

But his knees were probably his favorite spot. If only for the fact that when he squeezed it, the most adorably obnoxious snort burst from Stede, forcing him to bury his face in Izzy's shoulder in shame, while the other desperately tried and succeeded to produce the noise again. 

Gentle tickling seemed to get to him worse, if the way he shrieked when Izzy's nails glided against the backs of knees were anything to go off of. Even if it only produced quieter giggles compared to the full-bellied laughter Izzy knew he could force, it was better for watching Stede, seeing the miniscule changes in his expression, in his voice, and for allowing Stede to focus on Izzy's occasional teasing.

"Still having fun, Bonnet?" 

"Of… cohohuhurse!" He exclaimed, a tired sheen to his eye at how long it'd been, but his joy was much more prominent. 

Izzy opened his mouth but quickly snapped it shut, head swiveling around at the sound of the door opening,only to find Ed standing there, a confused grin hanging on his face.

"Is this what you two are always doing in here?" He laughed, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him.

"Ed!" Stede breathed out, face brightening again at the sight of his as he sat up straight, trying to smooth out his clothes, his hair, all while keeping his eyes locked on his partner.

Izzy stood up, taking a step away from Stede as his gaze flickered between the two. Would Ed mind him touching Stede like this? Stede had said it was fine, but he wouldn't want to overstep more than he already had, wouldn't want to take anything more from Ed.

"Well come on, mate," Ed faced Izzy, smile shifting into something devious as he walked closer, "why stop now?"

"You… don't mind?" He couldn't help asking, still not sure how he fit into a situation like this.

"Stede, you mind?"

"Nahat at all… I was just showing Izzy how fun tickling could be. He was much better than I would've thought!"

"Is that so?" Ed smiled, walking past Izzy to sit down next to Stede. "Think he's shown you enough yet, Iz?"

"Not quite. I think he still has a bit more to show us," he sat down on the other side of Stede, accepting Ed's acceptance of his role there. If it didn't bother Ed, then he wouldn't let it bother him anymore, even if he was sure everything between them wasn't exactly resolved yet.

Stede laughed nervously, glancing between them, "What else is it you want to see?"

"Mostly…" Ed hummed, grabbing one of his arms to wrench it above his head, waiting for Stede's nod of approval before digging into his underarm, "to see you laugh your ass off."

"Ehehehed!" He cackled, helplessly flailing, and Izzy took that as his cue, bringing his hands back down to squeeze at his thighs and knees.

If Ed wanted to push him, he could do that. And, judging from looking at them, Izzy guessed this wasn't the first time something like this had transpired between Ed and Stede. He only wondered if Stede had realized how awfully ticklish Ed was too, a secret Izzy had long since learned and guarded, but didn't seem inappropriate to reveal later, after they'd finished with Stede.

"Ihihizzy!"

"C'mon Stede, you keep saying our names like that. Just spit it out. What's on your mind?" Ed cooed, lightening up on his tickling to give him a moment to breathe.

"Ihihit's a lohot," he panted, grinning from ear to ear, "buhut it's fuhuhun."

"'Course it is. We're just getting started," Ed purred, delighting in how Stede's flush grew at his words, heart skipping a beat.

Izzy watched Ed kiss Stede's forehead, an uncomfortable pang shooting through him, until Ed turned back to him with a grin and wink, and together they resumed tickling Ed to bits.

-

"Good time, love?" Ed smiled afterwards, helping Stede to his bed.

"Yes, it was all quite lovely," he sighed dreamily, pulling him into a quick kiss. "But I do like it more when you're the one under me."

Ed reddened at that, laughing away his nerves as he glanced back at Izzy, who was awkwardly trailing towards the door.

"Where are you going, mate?"

"I thought it was time to excuse myself," he cleared his throat, averting his eyes. 

"No, no. Come here," Stede beckoned, and Izzy supposed he never really could say no to him that easily, certainly not now, so he swallowed and stepped closer and closer until he was standing by Stede's bedside.

Stede took a breath, reaching out for him, cupping his face, bringing his own closer, as he whispered, "May I?"

Izzy's eyes flickered to Ed's face, seeing only a smile and the slightest nod, not a hint of jealousy or resentment to be found. And so, he allowed himself to once again indulge in the luxuries that came along with Stede Bonnet, closing the distance between them to capture his lips in a gentle kiss.

Stede beamed at him when they pulled back, and he could only wonder if his face was as hot as it felt, practically petrified until Ed grabbed his hand, tugging him forward. "Come on, Iz. Get comfortable," he said, shrugging off his own leather jacket and slipping off his boots before he slid into bed beside Stede.

Even Stede's large bed was a bit cramped with the three of them, but Izzy thought it may have just been the best sleep he'd ever had. 

It was only affirmed by what he considered the best morning of his life as he woke up in the early hours, watching the sun stream in through Stede's windows, illuminating the two beside him that made it all feel so divine.

A faint breeze blew in, the cold weather penetrating the peace of their haven as he curled further into bed, into Ed and Stede, suddenly reminded on what day it was. As he stared at them, he could only smile, feeling at peace. He didn't know what the future would hold, but as long as he had them, he could feel secure and welcome the new year, whatever it brought.

[corviids]

Aemond after he comes back from war :( when he and Luke are still learning to live only whit each other in Sumer hall :( He just realizing how much he is touch-starved for and the first time in his live act on that wish just in the private :( he likes yo hold hands and touch luke's hair :( or sometimes when they sleep togheder and passing the nigh just staring at luke :( and when he is pregnat whith naerys he is the first to notice his tummy :((((

aemond gets addicted to affection. he is so starved of genuine affection growing up that when luke starts showing it to him, he is absolutely hooked. the first time luke asks him to share a bed — no sex, just sleeping together — aemond stays awake long after luke has fallen asleep and just watches him. he holds luke from behind and holds his belly, imagining the child that may or may not be growing there

he just really likes touching luke. likes to hold his hand or give his arm to hold. and the affection passes down to his daughters. he is always happy to carry naerys around or let saera hold his hand and drag him about. when the twin girls are born, aemond always has either rhaella or maegelle (or both) in his arms.

[silverynight]

Taming the wind

Tanjirou doesn't realize everyone around him holds their breath when he grabs Shinazugawa's arm to stop him from attacking Inosuke; the boy with the boar head usually doesn't know when to stop when it comes to challenge hashira. No matter how many times Tanjirou has tried to tell him, it seems like he doesn't want to believe there are people way stronger than him.

Now, he's not sure why he decided to stop the wind hashira instead of his friend, Tanjirou knows how to calm Inosuke down, but Shinazugawa... That Pillar is a completely different story.

"Stop it, Inosuke!" Tanjirou scolds lightly, before letting go of the wind hashira, making sure not to look at him at the moment. "Look, why don't you wait for me in the backyard to train together? We'll do anything you want!"

"I'll be waiting for you, Monjiro!" The boy says excitedly before rushing away from there.

Finally, Tanjirou turns around, wondering why Shinazugawa hasn't yelled at any of them yet, when he realizes that the Pillar seems to have frozen in his spot. Tanjirou immediately worries about him and stands on his tiptoes to cradle his face with both hands. The wind hashira blinks at him, but doesn't say a word, he doesn't even narrow his eyes, he just stares down at him.

"Are you alright, Shinazugawa-san?" He doesn't get a response from him, which makes him worry even more so he lightly touches his forehead. "You don't seem to have a fever though... Are you hurt?"

"I'm... fine!" The wind hashira huffs, prompting Tanjirou to let go of him. Shinazugawa grimaces at that almost immediately.

"Alright! I'll leave you then!" Tanjirou bows in front of him once before turning around and rushing towards the backyard.

***

The next time Tanjirou is in the butterfly estate, he hears Shinazugawa's growl before he actually sees him; a poor, unfortunate kakushi runs into him, hitting him on the shoulder on accident before kneeling in front of him and basically begging for mercy.

"OI! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU–" he stops as soon as he feels Tanjirou's hand on his arm; he turns around and the kakushi girl takes the opportunity to flee, thanking Tanjirou with a grateful look.

"Come, Shinazugawa-san," Tanjirou smiles at him, oblivious to the way other slayers look at him in awe, thinking about how brave he is. "Let's go get something to eat."

For a moment it looks like the wind hashira is about to argue, but Tanjirou reaches out to stroke his cheek with his thumb, prompting Shinazugawa to nod instead. Although he keeps the scowl on his face all the way back inside.

Tanjirou realizes suddenly, although he doesn't mention it out loud, that the oldest Shinazugawa is just like his brother: he's touch starved. Tanjirou has seen Genya a couple of times (he's now friends with him) and all those times have made him realize the boy just needed a little bit of physical affection.

And now he's sure that's the case with the wind hashira as well and since Tanjirou likes to help people, he's determined to do the same for Shinazugawa.

***

Tanjirou is right, he realizes when Shinazugawa comes back from a mission and the first thing he does as soon as he sees Tanjirou is to lean into him so the boy can cradle his face into his hands like he usually does.

Tanjirou draws little circles on the Pillar's face with his thumbs and gets a little bit surprised when he closes his eyes, melting into the touch. He knows now that the wind hashira is indeed touch starved, but he wasn't actually expecting total surrender so soon.

Maybe that's a good sign.

"How was the mission? Are you hurt?"

Shinazugawa smirks and rolls his eyes as if Tanjirou's question is actually ridiculous. Perhaps it is...

"Are you kidding me? That was the weakest demon I have ever encountered!"

"But if you're not hurt, then why are you in the butterfly estate?" Tanjirou blurts out, genuinely confused.

At that, a little bit of blush spreads over Shinazugawa's cheeks before he turns his head away.

"None of your business, Tanjirou!"

"Sorry... I thought–"

"Shut up! Now come with me so I can help you with your training," Shinazugawa says, looking away before he scoops Tanjirou up and takes him to the backyard. Everyone is looking at them with a shocked expression.

***

One day Tanjirou comes back hurt from one of his missions; the kakushi who sees him at the entrance takes him inside and leaves on a bed while Aoi and the butterfly girls rush in the room to check on his wounds. It's nothing serious, but he needs to stay in bed for a while.

When Shinazugawa arrives and finds out about what happened, he stomps into the boy's bedroom and doesn't leave Tanjirou's side; he also growls whenever a kakushi tries to change one of his bandages and makes Tanjirou hiss in pain.

However, he just has to give the grumpy hashira a couple of headpats in order to calm him down. It's not that bad actually... Shinazugawa even carries Tanjirou anywhere he wants to go, even though he doesn't need it that much.

"I can walk on my own, Shinazugawa-san."

"No, you can't! Not until I say so!"

Tanjirou chuckles because he knows he's just worried so he nuzzles against his cheek in response, prompting the wind hashira to melt immediately.

***

Someone needs to make Tanjirou understand and of course that one has to be Zenitsu because he's a good friend.

"Tanjirou!" He grins; it feels pretty natural because he genuinely likes him even though his obliviousness irritates him sometimes.

"Hi, Zenitsu!" Tanjirou smiles back and as always, the expression is almost blinding.

"So... How's everything going with the crazy hashira?" He asks as he sits down next to the redhead.

"He's not crazy!" Tanjirou says, although he chuckles anyway. "Everything's fine! We're friends now!"

The thing is... They're definitely not friends; Shinazugawa acts like Tanjirou is more than that. Lately, he's done a couple of things for Tanjirou that have left everyone wondering what's going on between them; he already apologized to Nezuko, he spends his free time with Tanjirou and has made Ohagi just for him.

Besides, Zenitsu has heard his heartbeat whenever he's with Tanjirou and he's sure the man has romantic feelings for his best friend.

It's wild to think about that sometimes. It's funny to see the most aggressive hashira act almost docile whenever the sunshine boy touches him.

Although sometimes it's terrifying... Zenitsu remembers the time when he found that slayer girl shaking with a bouquet of flowers that she wanted to give Tanjirou but never did because Shinazugawa found out and basically bared his teeth at her after yelling at the poor girl that Tanjirou was HIS.

"Are you sure about that?" Zenitsu insists, going back to the present.

"Yes, we're really good friends now!" Tanjirou grins becomes impossibly wide, but the look in his eyes is still so naive and oblivious...

Shinazugawa doesn't think they're friends; every time Tanjirou comes back from a mission the wind hashira is there, ready to scoop Tanjirou in his arms and sometimes bite his cheek gently.

As if he's been summoned, the grumpy Pillar walks towards them and takes Tanjirou before putting him over his shoulder; he glares at Zenitsu as a warning, before taking Tanjirou back inside with him.

Zenitsu wonders if Tanjirou will ever find out he has an unofficial husband now... At least the other slayers and the kakushi know about it now and have been very careful not to look at Tanjirou with heart eyes anymore.

They know they're not a match for the wind hashira so at least Zenitsu knows there won't be any kind of trouble soon.

Unless another hashira falls in love with Tanjirou as well... No, that can't happen, that'd be an absolute disaster...

***

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