#and why is he so weirdly attractive?

[wildernessuntothemselves]

I might have time in the middle of next month to post something but wanna get your opinion on what you'd prefer

[luna-the-cretar]

*watching the shorts (before actually subscribing to them)* hey, this Mace guy is kinda cute

*watching OUAW and Icebound* hey, Andy is kinda cute

*watching EOM* hey, Derek is kinda cute

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

Hrrrghh sometimes I feel guilty for still having a crush Kars, Esi, and Wamuu, but that's what personal aus are for!

(to be clear: the personal aus are where I get together with Esi and Kars and not Wamuu.)

Of course, in the main au I'm with Wamuu because he'll always be my favorite pillarman 💙

But there's always private aus where I'm with the other 2

I feel so greedy for liking them and still have a little jealous streak (I hate feeling all sad and mopey when I see them with others, I need Kars to knock some sense into me or something /joke), but I'll only ever post about PixieWam!

But yeah, I'm still attracted to them and have little crushes on the rest and blush and giggle and swoon and all that 😭

(if you're one of my non-Jojo mutuals wondering why I can't be polyamorous with all 3 of them: Kars and Esidisi are Wamuu's fathers! They raised Wamuu since he was a baby! I personally think it would be a little weird to be the communal boyfriend amongst these 3 guys in my au canon 😭)

If you have any questions or concerns, please ask me and I'll clarify!!

(ramble in the tags)

[theultracharmingladynoire]

.

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

Todd: *gets introduced*

Me: ooh his cute, wonder how he'll cope with the terrible things the others do

Todd: *murders a child with zero remorse*

Me: Oh

[angelfrombeneth]

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT, RIGHT? - N . CHAVEZ

Mature Content Ahead

Nicholas Chavez x F!Actress Reader

Warnings: SMUT

Summary: You and Nicholas are costars in a new show - Grotesqueire. When it is time to film a sex scene, you aren't ready; awkward tension takes over, but you know what they say; Practice makes perfect.

Note: I just want to say thank you so much for 1k followers and I hope you enjoy this one - and if you are new here, check out my other works. I have new stuff coming, feel free to request in my inbox for a specific character.

If you are looking for a part 2, please read this post as it explains my reasonings behind not making a part 2.

The filming for Grotesqueire has been underway for a few weeks now, this is your first big role in any media which you are extremely excited for. The show has an extremely interesting script, which is one of the reasons you wanted to put your all into your audition - which got you here.

"Y/N, I need you on set B in 5 minutes" Someone shouted from outside the trailer.

You sat up, taking your glasses off as you put them aside as you grabbed your contact case, quickly putting your contacts. You grab your veil, before exiting your trailer and walking towards the set. Crew preparing sets around you as you pass through different hallways, so much going on in one place but somehow you still felt at home.

"I was wondering where you were" You heard Nicholas laugh behind you as you turned to face him.

You laughed, turning to him as you smiled. Nicholas was your co-star playing a weirdly odd but kinky priest - and well, he was definitely lovely to look at.

"Nicholas, what are you doing?" The costume leader came scrambling over. "That isn't your costume for this scene- come!" She grabbed his arm, pulling him out of the set.

You laughed at Nicholas getting dragged away before walking upon the director and listening to your scene directions.

You sat upon your position on the set, the hairstylist coming to fit the veil upon your head properly, fixing your hair under it as you noticed Nicholas enter the set from the side of your view. You turn to look at him, your eye quirking up at his costume- well lack of costume.

"Nicholas why are you wearing just a towel?" You laughed.

"I have no idea- This is what Marissa gave me-" He spoke but was quickly cut off by the director on the megaphone.

"Alright! So can we get Talia on set please!"

You watched a girl walk up to you and Nicholas, smiling as she held a clipboard. "Y/N! Nicholas! I am very grateful to meet you, I am Talia your intimacy coordinator"

You blinked. You read the script you knew it was coming but you didnt realise it would be so early on. Nicholas shared a similar face to you.

"Now, don't worry, we will go over the main aspects and go over any boundaries the pair of you have" She smiled.

The next twenty minutes were spent with you, Nicholas and the intimacy coordinator. You were still shocked. It wasn't that you couldn't do it - Nicholas was attractive, and all, and the attraction for the scene was definitely there; it was just the awkwardness of it.

After talking Talia deemed you guys to be okay to proceed, the horn sounded round the studio as the pair of you prepared for your scene.

The tension loomed in the air as you stared at Nicholas from the doorway, reciting your lines.

"Can you dry my back sister... please" He hummed, passing a folded white towel over to you. You took it, walking behind him as he kneeled infront of the bed. You took the towel, slowly sliding it over his back full of gashes, cleaning the blood from his back as your finger ran over the bumps. You let your hand reset to his shoulder, softly gripping it as he hummed, it was what was scripted but it felt.. awkward.

"CUT!-" Shot through the studio as alarms sounded once more. Talia and the director came over, looking at you and Nicholas.

"Maybe lets take a break, you two talk through the scene and try and coordinate something. It feels.." The direction tapped his chin as he spoke.

"Awkward. It was very tense and not good tense" Talia sighed.

The pair of you nodded, walking out of the studio and towards the trailer as you groaned, flinging open the door as you tore the veil off your head yet again.

Nicholas sat on the couch looking up at you snickering as you groaned, sitting beside him, tossing your legs over his as you leaned back on the couch.

"I had no clue we were filming.. that today. It's just.. awkward" You looked at him, watching his body face yours completely as he held your full attention. The way his eyes stared into yours as you spoke.

"I mean if it makes you feel any better, I was pretty nervous. I didnt really know what to do and its just unfamilar i guess, its not a regular sex scene its gotta be.. kinky" He chuckled.

He made you feel comfortable. No pressure at all, the awkwardness was lifting bit by bit, showing the light under the fog.

"I mean what if we just.. you know" You blurted.

"If we just what?" Nicholas looked at you confused. "Fucked?"

"I mean you said it not me.." You looked around the room, trying to break the obvious tension as he laughed at your reaction. "I mean, for the scene right?" You smirked.

"Yeah for the scene." You sat up and looked at him as he spoke, crawling towards him slightly. You paused just before him. One of your hands gripping his thigh as the other held his shoulder.

The pair of you looked at each other for a brief moment, the balance of friends and coworkers about to be broken. As much as you wanted to chant in your head, 'it's for work, for work,' it wasn't, was it.

Your lips softly connected with his, wrapping your arms around his neck as he pulled you in, sitting upon his lap, your legs wrapping and encasing him between. His lips mimicked your movement, slowly moving against yours, matching your pace and rhythm.

You pulled away briefly for a moment, looking at him. "This is work right..?" You chuckled.

"Definitely work" He smirked, pushing himself up, sending you up as he pulled apart your dress, the top clasps undoing as you kissed him forcefully. Your arms flew around his neck as he tugged the dress down slightly.

Your lips interlocked as you kissed each other hungrily, your hands combing through his locks as he slid all over your torso, pinching and grabbing at the flesh.

You both wouldn't admit it, but this was a long time coming. With the subtle flirting on and off set, you both were excited for the sex scene to finally be able to 'get a taste' as Nicholas said - but you didn't expect this.

You pulled away, gripping the waist of the dress as you dragged it up your body, pulling it up over your head as you dropped it to the floor, allowing yourself to fall back against the couch, your arms around his neck as you guided him ontop of you.

"Fuck-" Nicholas groaned, towering above you as he stared down as you adored in your black lace set as you stared up at him. "Is lingere supposed to be apart of the costume.. I mean stockings? Really? The dress covers it" His hand slid down your thigh to your calf, feeling the silky sheer material covering your bare skin.

"Personal touch" You smirked at him, your hands holding his shoulders as he licked his lips.

Nicholas's head turned to the side, kissing the wrist of your hand as it held his shoulder, taking the hand as he kissed up your arm slowly, gaining closer and closer.

You pulled him down towards you, rubbing his neck softly as you pecked his lips softly. "Nick- This is mad" You laughed out.

A smile covered his lips as he kissed your cheek, to your jaw and slowly down your neck, nipping occasionally. "Its practice... for work of course"

"The for work excuse has been.. overused~" You melted into his touch, your hands resting softly upon his hips above the towel that fixed upon his body. You tugged his hips closer, noticing his lips depart from your collarbone as he peered up at you.

He licked his lips, sitting back upon his knees as he stared down at you, that cheeky grin on his face. "Now, got to act suprised in the scene, I'll give you a little preview" He snickered.

You reached forward for his towel, tugging it as it puddled at his knees. You gawked for a moment, you didnt expect him to actually be pare naked under the towel - acting and all, you'd think he'd have some sort of cover.

"The director thought it would be more authentic to be completely naked under the towel.... For gravity purposes" He winked, his hands sliding down your waist, hooking his fingers through the sides of your underwear, slowly pulling them down your body.

"That's a terrible excuse" You laughed as you lifted your feet out of your underwear as he dropped them on the floor. You sat up, pushing his chest as he sat back on the couch.

"Calm down, cowgirl", He snickered, leaning back as he stared at you; one of his heads reached to rest upon your hip, the other clasped around himself as he gradually began to pump.

You reached back, unclasping your bra and sliding it off slowly as you threw it at him, the pair of you laughing. The sight of him leant back against the couch, hot and bothered as he stared at you while touching himself was all too much, it was making you hot and bothered.

"Fuck me, you are so hot Nicholas" you brought your hands to your face, covering your eyes as you let out a loud drawn out sigh.

"Genes.. what can I tell you" He smiled, as you leaned forward pecking his lips softly a few times. His grin seeping into the kiss as you stared at him, your noses touching eachother slightly.

You leaned in, capturing him in a soft kiss, instantly reciprocated as both his hands gripped your waist. You sat in his lap, softly grinding down against him - humming softly within the kiss at the friction.

You noticed his eagerness as his hips would occasionally buckle up against yours, one of his heads to your neck, gripping it softly as he pulled you closer - the pair of you intensely making out.

Your hands raked through his hair, tugging and stroking it as his hand tested with pressure around your neck as you hummed softly, lightly moaning within the kiss.

You pulled away abruptly, looking down as you took him into your hand as you slowly guided him into you as you let out a light and soft moan, which was sounded out by his own moan.

"Fuckkkk-" His head fell backwards as his hands fell upon your waist, guiding you slowly.

You looked down at him, your hands holding his shoulders as you slowly rutted your hips against his, grinding down against him. Watching his face twitch in pleasure as his breathing stuttered at each movement.

"You are so vocal" You laughed, pecking his lips softly as you rested your forehead against his, continuing to grind down against him, watching his body for every single twitched movement.

"Cant help it- Does it bother y-you.." He stared up at you, slightly breathless as he grinned, his eyes half lidded.

"Absolutely not.. turns me on if anything" You chuckled, kissing his cheek softly as you leaned down to nibble on his ear lobe as you continued to ride him.

Nicholas continued to groan in your ear, making you smirk as you speed up your movements, dropping your body weight down against him harshly as you bucked your hips back and forth. Cusses spewed from his lips as you continued to do so. 'Fuck' 'Shit' 'Holy Fuuuck-', continued to fall from his lips as you hummed softly, soft moans leaving yours.

You watched him intently as his eyes rolled back, his eyes staying hooded as he tried to steady his breathing. Smirking as you noticed the effect you had over him, especially how cocky he is normally.

Your movements slowed down as you panted softly, leaning against him for balance and he noticed. Nicholas picked you up, causing you to yelp momentarily as you pushed you up against a desk.

"Getting tired?" He smirked, pressing his hands against the wall behind you, as he thrusted harshly forward - causing you to gulp back a moan. Your fists clenching as you stared up at him.

"I thought-" You groaned, at each thrust he made, pressing your hands against his chest as you steadied your breathing.

"Mhm.. You thought wrong; I was definitely enjoying before, though.." He pecked your lips softly, leaning to your ear. "My turn now" He whispered.

His hands hooked under your thighs, lifting your lower body up slightly as he continued to thrust into you. You yelped out, shutting your eyes as you tried to control yourself from the overwhelming feeling of pleasure, trying hard to not let go so soon. His lips harshly locked against your neck, as he sucked and bit down against the flesh.

"Nicholas-" You gasped out, moaning softly as your fingernails clawed down his back harshly.

"Shhhh" He cooed, as he licked up your neck, his hips continuing to slam against yours as the desk rocked below the pair of you.

"So fucking good- holy-" You gasped, staring at him as you laughed out slightly, his lips curling up into a smile as he continued to thrust, his hands holding your hips up just above the desk as you locked your legs around his waist tightly.

He dropped you harshly against the wood, placing a hand on your neck, kissing you roughly as you raced to reciprocate. His tongue halfway down your throat as your hands slid down his chest, your fingers feeling between the crevises of his sculpted chest. His free hand, cupping your breast as he squeezed it occasionally.

You hummed needingly into the kiss as his thumb pressed pressure against the front of your throat, causing you to tighten - which he felt. You could feel the smirk on his face as he kissed you, his tongue exploring your mouth as you helplessly allowed it.

You felt his whole hand clamp down on your neck with pressure. Your breath hitched for a moment at the sheer shock as he pulled away, your foreheads resting against one another, beads of sweat falling and mixing within each other as you gasped, staring into his eyes as he thrust deeply, holding himself within you.

"...Nick.." you croaked out as he stared at you, his eyes blown out with lust as he leaned in, biting your lip between his teeth as he held his eye contact with you, his thumb still pressed hard against the front of your throat.

He took his free hand, sliding his middle finger and index finger past your lips and into your mouth as you stared at him. You gave him no indication against it which caused his dick to twitch. He began to thrust against yet this time harder but slower. Your body rebounded each time, pushing yourself into the wall that you could've meshed into it. You sucked on his fingers, tugging his hair as you run your hand down his face, caressing it as you let out a guttural moan as he trusted once more.

"Good girl.. cum for me" He whispered, withdrawing his fingers from your mouth and removing his hand from your neck as his face flew to yours, your lips instantly crashing upon one another as he gripped your hips, pulling you forward and roughly thrusting into you.

You moaned into his mouth, panting heavily as you drew closer and closer to your high. Your leg twitching as you threw your head back as his lips sucked and nipped at your neck as you screamed out loudly. Your hands clawing down his back as you came undone.

You were too dazed in your high, groaning and panting as Nicholas pulled out, groaning as he pumped himself watching as your whole body twitched.

Your legs flung closed as you stared at him, exhausted as he whined before he came on your thigh, whimpering and panting as he did so, his arm leant against the wall behind you as it supported his weight - his face mere centermeters away.

"Holy fuck-" You chuckled, out of breath as you stared at him.

His chest rose and fell as he stared up at you with hooded eyes. His finger swiping his cum off your thigh as he held it up to you.

You smirked, leaning forward and sucking it off his finger as you looked at him. He smiled at you before pushing himself off the wall as he stumbled back to the couch, laying back on it as he sighed - catching his breath.

"That was more of a workout than my actual workout sessions.. jesus Christ", Nicholas groaned, his arm resting up above him.

You pulled yourself off the desk, your legs slightly wobbly as you slowly approached him. You sat beside his head, lifting it and resting it against your thigh as you sighed.

"I think we've got the sex scene down, don't you.." You laughed, running your fingers through his hair.

"Oh, definitely" He smirked up at you.

It was safe to say, when the pair of you finally caught your breath you showered and got rechanged into your costumes. You had to cover up all the marks on your neck but for Nicholas it was fine, he was already marked by makeup so hopefully no one could tell the difference.

When the pair of you got to set, you definitely delivered the sex scene, going beyond the script. Hair pulling, finger sucking, tit grabbing, ass grabbing - the lot. Safe to say everyone was impressed.

"CUT! That was exactly what we needed, guys!" The director clapped as you and Nicholas stared at each other, panting slightly. You smirked, looking down at the tent under the towel Nicholas was wearing.

"Please don't move- it'll be so fucking embarrassing", Nicholas begged. You chuckled, patting his chest.

[vante1920pm]

──;; 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 ★☆

!﹫ 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: I remember arcane coming out like it was yesterday 😔

◎ | arcane masterlist

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

☆ 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: their reaction to you getting jealous over someone staring at them

☆ 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀: jinx, ekko, silco

☆ 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: ooc, quickly scribbled this down, not proof read and also very hungry

☆ 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱: no

❛  JINX !   ❜

─      you were not okay with this

The way this weird twink stared at her made your blood boil. Jinx didn't mind your jealousy, she loved the way you would cling to her whenever the man looked her way, she enjoyed every second of it.

She does tease you with little jokes but you know she isn't serious.

She got rid of him later that night, so don't you worry about that.

❛  EKKO !   ❜

─      he didn't understand it at first,

but seeing you get red out of anger towards the person made his heart beat quicker, more than usually and that scared him

He was used to that feeling whenever he saw your face but this one was new. That was the moment he realized how much he actually loved you. He couldn't even imagine having his eyes on someone that isn't you

❛  SILCO !   ❜

─      why would you be jealous of someone staring?

He was used to people looking at him, no matter if it was because they were scared or weirdly attracted to him.

It was already a mystery to him why you loved him, he would be the last one to betray you like that. You changed his view on love and he would never trade you for anything in the world.

© 2024, vante1920pm

[britneyshakespeare]

brandi glanville is so weird to james maslow in celebrity big brother season 1. she is so clearly mean bc she’s attracted to him. when they’re laughing behind james’ back bc he said he didn’t want to wear a leotard as a punishment and brandi’s like “he probably doesn’t want everyone to see the small outline” it’s like... girl first of all ew. second of all why are you making me defend the size of his dick bc that’s definitely not true

[crushedcoffeecups]

okay but imagine being a student of Saiki Kusuo's class. how fuckin weird would it be?

there's this guy, Saiki, that you don't know very well, but seems to be completely average in EVERY way. like, concerning average. you genuinely know nothing that he likes or dislikes or is particularly good or bad at. the only thing that sticks out about him is his weird hair clips and his tinted glasses. oh, and all the people that surround him

the weird, big, loud guy that no one really likes is his best friend. he basically follows Saiki around. one time Saiki made a completely to scale statue of him for a class fair.

the kid with a hero complex that is constantly going on about some shadow organisation and fantasy world is also his friend. the one that rips all of his clothes and always wears bright red bandages over his arms. he also follows Saiki around like they've been best friends since childhood. sometimes he talks about the both of them being soldiers in some army.

one day a psychic medium who can see ghosts and guardian spirits transfers to your school. the next day you see him hanging off of Saiki. what is it about this guy that attracts all these people? he doesn't even seem to talk to them. he's apparently the vice president of the medium's occult club.

the perfect dream girl of your class that everyone loves is weirdly obsessed with him. constantly trying to pair up with him in class. they've been seen on multiple dates together and members of the kokomins seem hate him. you're pretty sure they tried to kidnap him one time. he doesn't even seem to like the girl.

the over-enthusiastic class president that everyone respects is also his friend. you're pretty sure Saiki doesn't play any sports, but apparently he joined him on a tennis camp over the holidays. you heard that he hit a tennis ball so hard he sunk a boat.

an ex-delinquent joins the school, and immediately tried to be friends with Saiki. within a week he has joined the large group that follows Saiki around. one of your friends apparently saw the two of them taking motorcycle lessons.

the poor girl in class, the one with a dozen jobs who's constantly searching for food? yeah, she's friends with him too. one time you walk past a cafe she works at and see him inside, talking to the owner. what does he have to do with the cafe? and why was she wearing a maid dress? there's rumours in the school that the both of them took shady clinical trials over the holidays.

also, the girl who has a new crush every week gets weirdly into him for a while. you see her try a bunch of classic cliches to try to win him over. none of it works, but she still hangs around him for some reason.

a super rich guy shows up to your school and demands to date the beloved perfect girl. no idea why, but Saiki seems to some part to play in the weird love triangle. later on, you see Saiki and his friends visit the rich guys house.

a fortune telling gyaru joins your school, insisting that Saiki is her soulmate. the two are polar opposites, yet seem attached at the hip, along with that spiritual medium for some reason.

another new transfer (why does your school get so many transfers?) who never seems to shut up insists on following Saiki around. apparently they're childhood friends? they don't seem very friendly.

that famous actor, the one who is in everything on tv? you see him yelling at Saiki one day. something about a sister? you don't have any idea how they even crossed paths in the first place

on a random school day you overhear some of Saiki's friends talking about their trip to Britain together. did they really travel that far for just a weekend?

one day you see Saiki walking around with a young man with a weird headband. he looks familiar somehow. you could've sworn you've seen him on some science program or something.

you've seen Saiki walking around plenty of times. he walks everywhere it seems, and gets to places at a pace that is logically impossible. doesn't he have a motorcycle license?

his parents seemed perfectly ordinary when you met them, if a little too lovey-dovey. how is their son so different?

the dude never seems to change his clothes. obviously he does, seeing how they never get dirty or damaged. you guess he just wears the same thing on repeat.

you see him out and about with a little boy. probably babysitting. the kid keeps calling him by the name of some superhero.

the school brings in a magician one day. he greets Saiki like an old friend and calls him 'master'. you had no idea they knew each other, or that Saiki liked magic.

you've only known of this guy for a year, yet it seems like so much longer. it feels like too much has happened for the school year to have not ended yet. when did all those people transfer again?

feel free to add to the idea!

[kacievvbbbb]

So the thing is; I don’t think Yuri has like a loli con sister fetish thing going on. As fun as it is to shit on him for it and as weird as it is sometimes I think he just loves her and because he probably has no/very little memory of his parents and he’s definitely never had a romantic relationship in his life the only person in his life that he loves is his sister and so my take is that his brain never actually learnt to differentiate between all the different kinds of love you can have for people.

Like ofcourse objectively he knows the difference between romantic love and platonic but also Yuri at times is still mentally at the childhood phase of I love my mom and I’m going to marry her because I love her so much and that’s apparently what you do when you love someone.

Because honestly if he really was weirdly romantically in love with Yor I don’t think Anya would bother him so much but like hes just as jealous of Anya as he is of Loid which would just not be the case if he actually knew how to differentiate between all the different kinds of love. If he really was romantically attracted to yor I think he’d make a bit of a bigger show to show how “fatherly” he could be (even tho she’s technically Loid’s child)

Yuri just really loves his sister like when little kids have feelings that are too big for them to understand or to explain or do anything other than experience them at full intensity. There is no one else hes allowed himself to share his life with in anyway. He has no real friends no parents or parental figures and he has no partner he literally only has his sister she’s his entire life.

And yor was kind of like that too in the beginning; wrapped up in Yuri. everything she did was to ensure Yuri didn’t worry it wasnt as intense as Yuri’s cause Yor’s not as single minded but like look at them in the last chapter Yor actually sets and enforces strict boundaries on Yuri and how he can talk about her family when just a couple chapters ago she let him talk smack about her fake marriage and fake husband in her living room and everything was an act to prove to yuri it wasnt “real” not really. But now Yor has grown she has let other people into her life it’s bigger and it’s settled in away that Yuri can’t push back against. And just like she’s always done as his big sister she is teaching him, modeling for him how to open up his life, how they can expand to include other people in this little world of theirs and they will still have space for each other that they’ll still have love for each other.

And yuri’s first instinct is to make their world small again to make it safe take them back to when it was just them so he can protect himself protect the space he occupies in Yor’s life. until he realizes that’s not making the world safe hes just sealing them in an airtight jar. And then he lets go as much as he can anyway even tho it’s just a few centimeters. He calms down and he goes home and I think the fact that he didn’t just stay home eating food that reminded him of his childhood of Yor instead he accepts the invitation, it’s why Chloe and his first commander are so important he letting his world expand just a little bit. That he gets the little sheets Yor wanted to get for Anya. It’s proof it’s all proof that Yuri’s growing up. Hes learning to let the life in.

He’s still very much a weird little guy though

[skeltnwrites]

A Family Affair ✶ part one!

In a fit of jealousy over Nancy’s perfect new boyfriend, Steve falsely claims to be dating someone too. Robin recruits you to help Steve out, despite the fact that you’re practically strangers. | MASTERLIST

⤷ Fucking Brad ›› Hawkins Elementary puts on Peter Pan, Steve has FOMO, and you have all sorts of crazy plans 8k

Fucking Brad. Brad, with his slim waist and his broad shoulders and his chiseled jaw. Brad, who doesn’t slouch and can grow a full beard and always smells nice. Brad, who is the better version of Steve in every way. He’s the Ken of Barbies. He’s what every man wishes he looked like at thirty-two. He’s like Steve, if Steve had Botox injections and a gym membership. 

And God he has stupidly good hair. All layered and cropped like it’s trimmed every other week. But effortless in the way it sits perfectly on either side of his face. He probably hasn’t had a bad hair day in his life. And even worse, Steve’s yet to find a single gray hair on the man’s entire head.

It’s too good to be true, obviously. You can’t be that attractive and a good person. Steve doesn’t make the rules. 

But Nancy seems happy. And as a good ex-husband and father of her children, Steve’s trying to be happy for her and her new boyfriend. There’s just this sharp little shard of his heart that never quite slots back into its old place. And every time he thinks he’s patched it up, Brad comes along and knocks it loose again. 

The divorce took a heavy toll on Steve. He’ll admit that now, almost a year down the line. He lost weight, then gained twice as much back. He pushed Robin so far away that they didn’t speak for two months. It really changed him. It made him question things he used to be so sure of. 

Nancy was never cruel, not even on their worst nights. But the arguing became constant. Steve slept in the kids’ rooms more than his own. He became obsessed with finding solutions that Nancy didn’t care to try.

She was never cruel, but she did break his heart for a second time. So maybe that’s part of the reason he tells her a little white lie. 

It happened last week. Steve had been out of town for the weekend and subsequently didn’t have the kids for a whole week straight since Nancy couldn’t swap days with him. And this is the longest he’s not seen them in… probably ever, so he’s extra excited to pick them up. He even offers to drive to Nancy’s house on the other side of town rather than meet her somewhere halfway. But guess who pulls into the driveway at the same exact time as him? Brad. 

And Caroline, bless her sweet little second-grade heart, beams across the yard, right past Steve’s car up to Brad’s. Steve remembers watching in a daze, the scene unfolding in slow motion. His heart wrings itself in his chest just thinking about it. Caroline, his firstborn, his baby girl, his own flesh and blood, betrayed him, for fucking Brad. 

It’s not fair. Nancy breaking his heart is one thing, but his daughter? At this rate, he’s not sure he’ll live long enough to walk her down the aisle. And like hell he’ll let Brad be the one to do it. 

Steve steps onto the driveway and quickly receives the same armfuls of enthusiasm Caroline treated Brad with. He kneels to hug her back properly, both arms around her waist as he sprinkles kisses along the side of her head. 

“You’re back!” Steve feels the shape of a big smile through his shirt. 

“I missed you,” he says, pulling back to see her lovely face, “so, so much.” 

Caroline is proof that Steve’s done something right in his life. He finds more and more evidence every day. It’s in her kindness to strangers and her bottomless well of curiosity and her sunbeam of a smile that weirdly looks like a smaller version of his own. He used to hate the way his teeth looked in his mouth but now he wonders why.

He’s received comments about their alikeness since the day she was born. She obtained his hooded eyes, his square jaw, and his strong nose. She has lighter eyes, like Nancy’s, and lighter hair, like Steve’s when he was her age. But still, Caroline’s his carbon copy, his mini-me. 

“Missed you too, like, more than the whole universe.” 

“Woah! More than the whole universe? That’s a lot of missing to do.” His fingers crawl across her chest until she arches away in a fit of giggles. “Is your poor little heart okay?” 

Brad waves incessantly from the top of the driveway until Steve glances up. He’s not an asshole, he waves back, but he can’t help his smile curdling into something sour. 

Caroline, of his two children, is by far the least likely to lie to him. She burst into tears the last time Steve caught her red-handed and over something so insignificant he couldn’t even tell you what it was. But her words feels hollow when the memory of her picking Brad over him still stings fresh. Logically, Steve knows it wasn’t a malicious decision. Caroline’s a daddy’s girl to her core. But just knowing doesn’t make the hurt ache any less. 

Steve pulls Caroline up as he stands. “Where’s your brother?” 

“Mom said he can’t play outside ‘cause he got in trouble at school.” 

“What happened?” 

“He threw rocks at someone.” 

Steve presses his lips together with a hum. “Not good.” 

Caroline beats him to the front door, swinging it hard enough to shake the house. “Dad’s here!” she announces. 

Steve’s still in this weird limbo about entering the house without Nancy’s permission. To his knowledge, she’s never cared when one of the kids has invited him in, but it feels sort of wrong because he hasn’t lived there in quite some time. 

It’s a quaint little home at the top of a hill, purchased in their early twenties when Nancy was pregnant with Caroline. So many years of his life, etched into floorboards and door frames and garden stones that he rarely ever sees anymore. 

In the foyer, a riot of blonde fur slams hard into Steve’s knees. He’s expecting it, delighted more than anything to greet his honorary third child, Daisy. Eighty pounds, a golden retriever with more energy than Steve knew a dog could have. She was a Christmas gift from Steve to the family, a surprise Nancy has slowly grown to love over the years. Still, she would’ve been happy to let Steve take her, Daisy’s always been more his than hers, but signing the lease on a place that doesn’t allow pets complicates things. 

Steve’s crouched on the floor, receiving a face full of wet kisses when someone smaller barrels into his side. 

“Daddy!” 

Steve’s hand catches the carpet before he falls, his free arm slinging around his youngest, Andrew. “Hi, buddy.” He pulls him in for a forehead kiss but pushes him back for a better look at his face.

He’s got big brown eyes, round like Nancy’s, and feathered with a long set of lashes. He’s a fair mix of their genes, Nancy’s button nose and pointed ears but Steve’s thick hair and plush lips. He’s like Daisy, with endless reserves of energy and no off switch, but he’s half the dog’s size, tiny, even for six. 

“Hi.” 

“Hi. How was school?” 

“Good,” Andy smiles, words whistling in the gap his front teeth left behind. “I got something from the treasure box and I had music specials today.”

Steve gives his shoulder a loving squeeze. “That’s fun. I heard you got in trouble though, hmm?”

“Barely. It wasn’t really bad. I had a timeout but mom says I still can’t play.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll talk to Mom.” 

“Talk to mom about what?” Nancy frowns from the doorway, crossing her arms over her chest. 

One thing from their marriage that Steve doesn’t miss is Nancy materializing out of thin air. She’s quiet and quick on her feet, always appearing at the most incriminating moments. He can think of a dozen times he’d gotten in trouble for letting the kids do something she already forbade. 

Steve shifts his focus to her begrudgingly. He presses his lips into a cordial, tight-lipped smile. “Why can’t he play? He said he had a time-out already.” 

“Because he didn’t do what I asked, Steve. I know you like to let the kids get away with everything, but in my house there are consequences.” 

“Okay,” he raises his eyebrows and his smile slips away, “unnecessary.” 

She breathes a quiet sigh, hooking her fingernail under the fresh tear in her tights. “It’s been a long week.” 

“Sorry.” Steve means it because he’s been there, but he doesn’t waste much sympathy on Nancy these days.

Brad fills the leftover silence as he zips down the stairs, his fingers drumming along the handrail in time with his hums. “Steve!” he grins. “How was Florida? Catch some sun?” He cruises over to Nancy with a much gentler excitement, pecking her head with a soft, “Hi, honey.” 

Steve wants to gag. No, he wants to projectile vomit all over their nice floors. He stands and chooses to look at Nancy as he replies the simplest, “Yeah.” 

Nancy stares blankly back at him. He used to have some kind of superpower when they were in love. Could read her mind by looking at her eyes alone. But these days he can’t tell her frown from her smile, let alone her thoughts.

“Is your dad doing better?” she says. 

“Yeah, he’s– yeah, fine. He’s home now.” 

“Good.” 

Andy pulls Brad down to his knees, eager to funnel a “very important” secret into his ear. Steve tries, but he can’t decipher any words over Nancy’s voice. 

“So, can you take him?” she asks.

“Where?” 

“The dentist. Are you listening to me? I said his appointment is after school.” 

A vein pulses on Nancy’s forehead, though Steve isn’t privy. His attention swings across the living room behind her like a compass needle, always pointing to Andy and Brad. They’re both giggling, falling onto the couch like ragdolls. Steve’s never had worse FOMO in his life. 

“Yeah, sorry, yeah. I’ll take him,” he answers finally. 

“He’s been complaining about his mouth since last Tuesday. Think he has a cavity.” 

Steve nods. Nancy nods. The silence is awful. 

She turns her nose to the stairs and he knows she can’t bear the awkwardness either. “Andrew go get your stuff. Caroline!” 

“What!” 

“Come on! Dad’s waiting!” 

Andy shrieks and Steve turns instinctually. It’s a happy shriek, he finds, paired with pleads of, “Again! Again!”

Brad nods knowingly, slotting his hands under the boy's armpits and swinging him up and up and up until he launches him right back into the couch. 

Andy’s thrilled, of course. But Steve doesn't know how to feel. There isn’t a sound he loves more in the world than his kids laughs’, but his body tells him what is happening right now is all sorts of wrong. 

“Oh and don’t forget about the play on Friday,” Nancy adds. 

Steve can’t answer. He can’t fucking think over the sound of his molars grinding against each other. A switch flips in his brain. 

“It’s at six I’m pretty sure. Care’s pretty nervous so just, I dunno, don’t bring it up maybe.” 

“I’m bringing someone,” he blurts. 

Nancy shifts her weight from foot to foot, her stare sharp as a thumbtack, pinning him right to the floor. Why the fuck did he just say that? 

“Who?” she asks strangely. Her mouth is smaller like she’s mad. But her eyes are curious, a sudden softness to them. 

Steve clears his dry throat but finds no relief. He hasn’t fucking thought this through. He shrugs, his chin tipping toward the floor. “Just this girl I’ve been talking to. She’s…” He chances a glimpse up but steers his eyes away from Nancy’s the second they land. “It’s kinda gettin’ serious, so, you know.” 

“Really?” 

He squirms at the way she says it. He feels like he’s in trouble and about to get an earful. “Yeah,” he swallows, “Yeah. She’s great. You’ll like her.” 

“How long?” 

“Hmm?” 

“How long have you been seeing her?” 

His eyes rove across the ceiling as he pretends to count the imaginary days he’s spent with his imaginary girlfriend. “Ya know, a few months.” He frowns for show, “Give or take.” 

Nancy chuckles wryly. She very clearly doesn’t buy it. And of course, she doesn’t buy it, they were married for a third of his life, she knows Steve inside and out. Steve is officially, utterly, and irreversibly doomed. 

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” he slips in nervously. 

“Right.”

“Yeah, so…” 

“Okay, well, I look forward to meeting her.” 

“Okay. Me too. Well– to you meeting her. I’ve met her, obviously.” 

Her mouth twists in a struggle to hide her amusement. “Okay, Steve.” 

This is pathetic. Steve’s never been more embarrassed in his life. Ten-plus years he’s had to make a fool of himself in front of Nancy and nothing will ever top this. 

Tiny arms curl around his legs and he knows they’re Carolines before he’s seen them. She’s a foot taller than Andy and ten times as gentle. Her ear presses into Steve’s side, her hair newly pinned with a set of plastic butterflies. Steve’s positive she gets prettier by the day and he’s just grateful to have anyone besides Nancy to look at. 

Andy hustles down the stairs not long later, sneakers swinging from his wrist by the laces, wearing a backpack twice the size of his chest. And with both kids in sight, Steve cuts straight for the front door, encouraging a round of goodbye hugs and kisses for Mom from the safety of the porch. 

On the ride home, Caroline has a deck of questions about his trip. If Grandma and Grandpa still live in that big house on the water. If the airplane ride was bumpy or not. His favorite– if he ordered the fish tails (popcorn shrimp) from that restaurant they all went to last time. 

Eight years he’s been a dad and to this day the infinite questions never fail to fascinate him. And even more remarkable, how Caroline remembers things from years ago like they happened this morning.

He hadn’t told her why he went to Florida or the real reason she couldn’t come. Steve’s dad had a minor health scare, and if it weren’t for his mom calling in hysterics, he probably would have saved the PTO. He spent most of the trip in the hospital, listening to his dad fuss about every possible thing he could find to complain about. 

Nancy preached honesty when it came to explaining things like this to the kids. But Caroline’s a worrywart. Steve couldn’t let her spiral, certainly not over his dad of all people. 

He’s very happy to be back home. And even happier to be distracted from his poor decision-making by the bottomless pit that is his daughter's brain. But time flies when you’re having fun as Steve apparently says now. Dinner goes fast, and bedtime even faster. 

The kids are asleep and he’s left to simmer alone in his stupidity. He replays the conversation with Nancy on a loop, each turn twisting the words until he can’t tell what’s real apart from what he wishes to have said. He fucked up, that much is clear. And for what? A fleeting satisfaction if Nancy had believed him? He truly can’t think of a time in the last ten years he’s said something so dumb. 

Steve dials Robin’s number and slips the phone against his ear as he opens the fridge. He stares at his groceries, or lack thereof, and listens to the phone ring and ring and ring until he’s turned over to Robin’s answering machine. 

“Hi, you’ve reached Robin! Or, well, it's not, obviously, because you're talking to a machine. Anyway, I’m probably busy doing something incredibly important, so, leave a message, and I’ll call back– unless I forget— which, statistically speaking, is very probable. Sorry.” –Beep! 

“Hi, um, this is Steve.” He shuts the fridge door and swipes the takeout menu from the magnets on the side. “I’m having an… emergency type of situation and if you really, truly love me you’ll call me back, like, as soon as you get this. Yeah, okay, bye.” 

Robin’s at work he’s pretty sure. That or sucking face with her new girlfriend, Lin. She’s busy a lot nowadays, Steve just as much. It’s put a weight on their friendship but Steve can’t imagine his life without her. She’ll surely call him a dumbass or an idiot or the classic dingus for what he’s done. But being snarky with each other is their love language; he looks forward to it. 

Steve’s three or four Cheers’ reruns deep when the phone rings. He rocks himself out of his recliner and takes the half-empty pizza box in his lap back to the kitchen. He’ll be the first to admit, his evenings aren’t all that glamorous. But things could be worse and he’s happy with the majority of his life’s choices– minus the most recent one, obviously. 

The phone slides against the pizza grease on his fingers. He pins it between his ear and shoulder to swipe his hands down the front of his shirt as he speaks, “You know, you’re lucky this isn’t a life-or-death emergency. I’d have been dead hours ago.” 

“Uh-huh. Tragic,” Robin rasps. “I’ll write your eulogy for you. ‘Steve Harrington: untimely death by dumbassery.’” 

“That’s not a real word, genius.” 

“It is now. I’ve made it one.”

“You can’t just make it a word. That’s not how it works.” 

“No, it is. Check your dictionary.” He hears the clinking of pans, water running in a sink. “But wait, what did you do? Lock your keys in your car again?”

“Ha, no. I wish.” 

“Forget to pick up the hellspawns?” 

“No, Rob.” 

“What? It’s happened before,” she laughs in that scratchy way she does. He can picture her whole face like she’s stood there beside him. “I dunno, I’m tired. I give up. What’s the crisis?” 

“Um, so, I told Nance that I’ve been seeing someone and that it’s serious and I’m bringing her to the kid’s thing on Friday.” 

Robin’s silent long enough for Steve to pull the phone back and check if the call’s still connected. But her laughter builds slowly, rattling through the speaker in beats. “Oh no, Steven.” 

“Yeah, so…” He shears the last bite off of the pizza he was working on before and tosses the crust back into the box.  “I’m fucked.” 

“You could say that.” 

“Thanks for the encouragement.” 

“Sorry, sorry. I mean, fuck dude. Why’d you say that?”

“I don’t know, okay? It was stupid. I fucked up.”

“Big time.”

“I have to figure something out.” 

“Can’t you just say it fizzled out? You had a good run, but you weren’t right for each other, cue dramatic sigh, problem solved.”

“No! She knows, Robin. She fucking knows I was lying. She was giving me that look she gives Andy when he’s done something he’s not supposed to.”

“Heh, I know the one. God, that’s hilarious. I love her mad face. Was she doing that weird lip thing, like she’s trying to suck them back into her skull?” 

Steve cuts off his own laughter, “Probably– I don’t know! I was panicking, bad, you should’ve seen me.” 

“Oh, I would pay so much money to see a video of this. Were there cameras? Where was this at?” 

“No, no, I have to do something. I need to bring someone to the show.” 

A beat. Two. “What? You want me to revive straight Robin? I can’t walk in heels to save my life, you know that.” 

“Jesus, no. She knows you're gay, dude.” 

“Then who?”

“I dunno.” Steve throws his hand in the air. “You know people.”

“I know people?”

“Yes?”

“You’re right, hold on, let me get out my address book and just call every single woman I know. ‘Hey, how do you feel about pretending to be my friend’s boyfriend so his ex-wife doesn’t make fun of him?’ Sound good?” 

“Yes! Exactly!” 

“Maybe while we’re at it we just start calling random women in the phone book. I saw a billboard with this sexy lawyer lady today.” 

“Robin.” 

“Steve,” she chuckles. “Come on. This is crazy. You have to see that.” 

“I don’t care, Rob. You don’t get it. Nancy is dating America’s next top model and I’m,” his words feel sticky as bubblegum, “I’m watching shitty TV and eating shittier pizza by myself.”  

Robin sighs. “Don’t act like I haven’t been a good wing-woman. I’ve tried to set you up with people.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m not ready to date anyone for real, I just– I just want to pretend for a night, that’s all. I don’t want Nancy to think any less of me than she already does.” 

Robin sighs again, worse. He feels bad about bugging her but she’s his best friend and she bugs him to the same extent with her own relationship problems. He listened to her cry for an hour about a fight she had with Lin last week.  

“If I help you… will you promise me that you will move on and go on a real, actual date with a woman who is not Nancy Wheeler?” 

Steve’s about to say ‘I’ll do anything’, but the sentence catches in his throat. 

Robin complains about Steve’s dating life (or lack of) about once a week, if not more. It’s been a year since the divorce, yeah, but he’s short on time with two kids and a second full-time job that affords him the first. He’s not in any rush to do awkward first dates or even worse breakups again. 

But fuck, he’d rather die than face the consequences of his own actions. “Fine, yes. I’ll do it.” 

“Hallelujah.” 

“Please, just call a couple of your friends for me. One night, that’s all I’m asking.” 

“Honestly, I definitely know a couple of people who’d do it for a hundred bucks.” 

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. “If that’s what it costs to keep my dignity then so be it.” 

He hears Robin’s breathy smile. “You’re so dramatic. Shelly might do it for free. She doesn’t exactly look your type though.” 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“I dunno, Steve. We both know Nancy has a better gaydar than you.” 

“I hit on one lesbian at the height of my divorce-depression. I was desperate, okay?” 

“You hit on two, actually. I do count, still. And she was like the most butch woman I've ever met. You guys basically had the same outfit on.”

“It was a good outfit!” 

Her laughter is loud through the speaker. And before he realizes it, he's laughing too. In retrospect, that woman very obviously was a lesbian and not at all his type. 

“Wait,” Robin gasps, “what about Y/N!” 

“Who?” 

She repeats your name with even more emphasis. “She was at my birthday thing. You definitely met her.” 

Steve describes a vague version of the person he thinks is you. His memory is hazy. 

“Yes! Yes! You wouldn’t stop showing her fucking pictures of the kids.” 

“Excuse me, she wanted to see them.”

“No, I think you need to ask her that again, pal.” 

Steve reconsiders that moment he met you. He recalls a polite smile and how you had several nice things to say about his kids. He remembers you being pretty but it was too soon post-divorce for him to process that information then. 

“Oh my God,” Robin roars, “How did I not think of this sooner? You guys are perfect for each other, I’m telling you!” 

“Wait, wait, Robin. This is just pretend. I’m not actually dating her.” 

She scoffs. “Will you give her a chance? Please? This can count as your real date.”

“No, absolutely not. No. I can’t– I already know her. That’s weird.” 

“Oh my God. You’re making dumb fucking excuses already. You better hold up your end of the deal, Harrington.” 

“I will, I will. Just not her. We’ll figure it out after, okay?” 

The line is silent but he can almost hear the gears in Robin’s head cranking out a new negotiation.  

“I’m serious. Don’t tell her it’s a date.” 

“Ugh. Have you no faith in me anymore?” 

“Will you ask her? Seriously, Robin, please?” 

“Yes, whatever, I’ll ask her. But don’t come crying to me when this blows up in your face.” 

“Don’t tell her it’s a date, Rob. I mean it.” 

“I knowww.” 

“Thank you,” he sighs. He feels like a load of bricks just dropped from his back straight to his stomach. 

“But I really think you and Y/N should come to that romance retreat with me and Lin. She knows the owner so I’m sure she could snag us another couple of tickets.” 

“Mmm. Sorry, no. I’m actually busy that weekend, ‘member?” 

“Oh, I know you did not just lie to me right now. What is this, a compulsion?” 

“Oh my God. I was kidding,” he laughs. “But also hard no. I’m hanging up.” 

“You can’t avoid all your problems forever.” 

“Whatever. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight. Love you, dingus.” 

“Love you.” 

Steve slots the phone back in its cradle and presses his hand into the countertop. He thinks of you again, your face, your clothes, your voice– what had you said to him? He turns you in his mind like an unravelled spool but there are way too many loose ends. 

He agrees with Robin, this is a bad idea. He can’t imagine you’ll drop everything to help a guy you met one time. And if for whatever reason you do agree? You might be really awkward or rude to the kids or a kidnapper! He really, really hopes Robin doesn't befriend kidnappers. 

She assures him you are not a kidnapper when she calls him the next night. She also tells him he’s won the lottery and somehow you’ve agreed to this ridiculous plan. You’ll pretend to be his girlfriend in front of his kids and ex-wife and her boyfriend, just to save him from some embarrassment. Steve thinks you might be crazy but Robin promises you’re a match made in heaven. 

Steve jots down your phone number and thanks Robin until she hangs up on him. But he doesn’t call you yet. He chews on the plan all week and decides it still tastes bad. Very, very bad. But what choice does he have now? He’s groveled with Robin until she gave in and asked you and you’ve actually agreed. He’s in too deep now. 

It takes him three tries to dial your number all the way through. He only works himself up to the final digit with the mental image of Brad and his stupid, sparkly teeth. Steve's stomach starts cartwheeling as the line trills. 

“Hello?” 

He freezes. He doesn’t know what he expected you to sound like but your voice throws him for a loop. Every sentence from his practiced speech erases itself from his memory. 

“Helloooo?” 

Steve forces all the air from his lungs until he makes a strangled sort of noise. “Hey– sorry, um– hi, it’s Steve. Uhh, Robin’s friend.”

“Oh! She said you’d call.” 

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Here I am.” 

You chuckle back but are otherwise quiet, waiting for him.

“So like–”

“How did–”

“Sorry,” you say overtop each other. 

“You go,” he begs. 

“Well, I mean– so Robin gave me the run down already, but like, how exactly do you want this to go?” 

“So,” Steve takes a deep breath, “my kids are both in the school play over at Hawkins Elementary. It’s this Friday from six to seven-ish. All I need you to do is just show up and pretend that you’re my girlfriend.” He cringes through the last part. The more times he explains this plan, the more outrageous it sounds. This might as well be a form of torture. 

“Just show up and watch the play and agree that we’re a couple if somebody asks? That type of thing?” 

“Yes, exactly. Yes. My ex-wife and her boyfriend will be there, so probably just them and the kids.” 

“Right, Robin said. But how much should I– how do I say– should I hold your hand, I guess, kiss you, things like that?”

“No, no,” he swallows so hard you probably hear it too. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Whatever you’re comfortable with.” 

"Would you..." you pause for a while. He fears you’re backing out. “Would you want to meet up, maybe? Like, sometime before the play?” you ask. “We could talk more about boundaries and, I dunno, how we met, our first date, all of that junk. In case it comes up.” 

Steve doesn’t think that’s really necessary. He only needs you for one hour, the majority of which you won’t be talking. You’re really just there to sit beside him and smile. But you are doing him a massive favor, if it makes you feel better, it wouldn’t hurt to discuss it in person.

He lets you pick the time and place and thanks you endlessly before he hangs up, very much ready to crawl into bed and never come back out. 

His second impression of you doesn’t stray far from the first. You’re sweet, maybe a little too sweet for someone who barely knows him. And you must be smart. You have enough wits about you to question him and this plan. Maybe, with you there, it won’t completely fall apart.

But as luck would have it, Steve is forced to cancel on you last minute– thanks to Brad, of course. Well, it’s not really his fault his sister goes into labor but Steve likes to pretend it is when Nancy asks if he can take the kids that night. He reschedules with you once, then again when you can’t make it. But shit happens and things don’t work out how he hoped. Neither of you can make it work before the play. 

So Steve pulls up to Hawkins Elementary with his heart lodged in his throat like a stone. He’s about to make the biggest fucking fool of himself if you don’t show and he’s only about forty-five percent sure that you will. As of yesterday, you were still game, sounded excited, even, to come. But maybe you forgot about the whole thing or maybe you’re chickening out because you never solidified where you had your first date. Steve wouldn’t blame you either way. 

Brad’s already seated in the front row of the auditorium, Nancy likely dropping the kids off at their classrooms. Steve slinks around the back to a denser part of the audience hoping not to be seen. But it’s Brad. He’s got twenty-twenty vision, no doubt. He flags Steve down as soon as he turns around, standing and waving emphatically, leaving Steve no other choice but to sit with them. 

Brad talks his ear off, to no one's surprise, but Steve’s mind is stuck somewhere else. His eyes skip between the lavish rose bouquets in Brad’s lap to the measly assortment of pink and blue daisies in his own. It’s silly to worry the kids would love him less over something like flowers, but he can’t help himself. 

Nancy joins with a knowing smirk and immediately asks about Steve’s plus one. He feeds her some generic, bullshit line about you and how you’re trying so very hard to make it, and he decides Nancy must fucking hate him. She knows it was a lie. She just wants to watch him burst into flames and char into a corpse of embarrassment and regret. 

There are less than two minutes to showtime. The audience is buzzing, the auditorium doors are closing, and the bench space beside Steve remains unoccupied. He turns around for one last pathetic look behind him before his dignity is tarnished forever. 

But there you are! Stood up against the back wall, searching and searching until your eyes lock onto Steve’s and your whole face brightens like a sunrise. 

Steve waves, a little shy suddenly, but largely overwhelmed by the complete one-eighty his heart’s just spun. And it only worsens as you make your way up to the row. 

You look fucking unreal Steve realizes. You pat a pretty dress down your thighs, two big bouquets wedged in the crook of your arm, and shimmy past the family seated beside him with a dashing smile.

“Sorry I’m late,” you say to him, so genuinely apologetic Steve can’t remember the reason you’re there in the first place. You bend to wrap your arms around him, his nose tapping the sugared sweetness of your perfume. 

His brain reboots itself, a blank slate. He’s completely forgotten about Nancy and Brad until you lean across his lap to address them. 

“Nancy,” Steve coughs, “um, this is Y/N. My girlfriend.” The words trip off his tongue slow and he thinks it can’t be more obvious that he doesn’t mean them. 

But while his head is busy imploding on itself, you’re acing introductions. You’re smiling and waving, your voice stays so calm— exactly the reassurance Steve needed. He peels his eyes off your face for a glimpse at Nancy’s and nearly laughs. 

Her brows are up, obscured by her bangs, and she blinks like she’s got something caught in her mascara. Priceless. 

“Y/N, this is Nancy and her boyfriend, Brad,” Steve finishes. 

“Nice to meet you,” Brad smiles, squeezing Nancy’s knee until she does the same. 

The pretending is clumsy at first. Steve’s arm hesitates on its course behind your shoulders. And you go stiff as a board the first time his fingertips brush your bare arm. You overcompensate, laughing at something that’s not all that funny while Steve rambles on about how you met when no one even asked. But eventually, you find a balance somewhere between too much and too little.

And Steve can’t stop fucking smiling. You’re polite, funny, really pretty, you’re perfect. You’re more than what he hoped to have tonight. 

The lights dim and the curtains part, Steve’s excitement shifts toward the stage. His hand remains on your shoulder but his attention is reserved solely for his kids. You cheer for them just as loud as he does, for two children you’ve never met in your life. You remember their names and are eager for Steve to point them out when they appear. You’re a convincing girlfriend. You actually seem to care a whole lot. 

Caroline is a fabulous mermaid. She has a tail made of sequins and glitter gel down her arms. All those hours of practice were worth it, Steve nearly cries watching his little girl recite her two lines to a T. 

And Andrew plays a scruffy dog called Nana. He has no lines but he makes several appearances throughout the show, barking with flawless comedic timing for a kindergartener. Steve’s biased when he thinks his kids are the best actors here, of course, but he couldn’t be more proud. 

Touching you doesn’t become any less strange as the evening rolls on. Your thigh is smushed to his. Your back warms the inside of his elbow. He hasn’t touched anyone like this since Nancy, maybe besides Robin who doesn’t really count. And perhaps that’s pitiful, he’s not touching you all that much. But he likes it, which, is probably even more pitiful, you being his pretend girlfriend and all. 

The main cast of fifth graders bow, the crowd erupts with applause, and the lights flicker back on as the big curtains close. 

Nancy is staring at you when Steve checks her way. It’s not the first time he’s caught her tonight but he still isn’t certain that she fully believes this whole thing. At least you’re here and you seem normal and you’re a much better actor than Robin gave you credit for. That’s a mission fucking accomplished in Steve’s book. 

“They did really good, Steve,” you say in his ear. “They’re both adorable.” 

His smile is immediate. He won’t miss an opportunity to rave about his kids, not even to a stranger. “Did you see Andy’s run? He does this little skippy-thing, I dunno where he learned it.” 

“Mhmm! And Caroline, she’s only eight? She seems so much older the way she talked.”

“I know! She was so worried before, I can’t believe how good she did.” 

Nancy is one of the first parents to her feet. Brad collects her purse and the flowers as she scans each exit for the quickest route. Her face is rigid as she explains, “I’m going to get Caroline if you’ll…”

“Yeah,” Steve nods when she looks. 

Nancy’s eyes veer from his to yours for the briefest second before she turns around. Her chin juts up to Brad. “Ready?” 

He works a hand across the cardigan on her back and starts for the end of the row where parents squeeze and squish by each other toward the hall doors. 

Steve waits until their bodies bleed into the rest of the crowd before he faces you again. His lips tilt into a funny line, his eyes alive under the auditorium lights. “I kinda think that worked?” 

“Are you kidding?” you laugh and knock your shoulder into his. “She kept staring at me! She totally bought it.” 

Steve’s smile pinches up into his cheeks. He thinks you're really quite beautiful. It’s not new information to him, he noticed the first time he met you, bumbling up behind Robin in her kitchen. And he remembered just last week when she brought you up out of the blue. 

But today that knowledge feels different. Today you’re all smiles and sweet touches and sneaky glances. It’s doing something scary to his heart. 

Steve stands quickly. He’s hot all over, uncomfortably aware of the sweat accumulating under his clothes. Being sardined against every other parent in the school will do that. Plus, there’s you and your nice face. Still, somehow, he misses the heat of your thigh pressed to his. 

“She’s smart, Nancy, I mean… I dunno,” he worries. 

You stand too and your hand finds a home on the back of his arm. “No, no. It worked. Trust me.” 

“Trust you?” He can’t help but grin at your nonchalance. He wishes he could be like that, but having kids makes you worry more. 

You grin back and shrug. “Yeah, trust me.” 

Well, he can’t not trust you. Not when you’re looking at him with all the confidence in the world and squeezing his arm in gentle reassurance. 

His cheeks ache from smiling by the time you make it to the hall. He gestures one way and you follow him past doors and bulletin boards and as many children as there are adults. And finally, he turns through an open classroom door and it’s just absolute chaos. 

A ball pops against a ceiling tile, Steve’s heel slides under a stack of notebook paper, and a string of kids fly between his hip and yours, all in one blink. 

You recognize Andrew faster than Steve expects, pointing him out where he’s barking at a child sprawled on the rug. The other boy stops giggling as you approach, prompting Andrew to spin around with the crazed expression of a real puppy looking for trouble. 

His costume is even cuter up close, a painted snout and a fur-onesie with a floppy-eared hood to match. Andrew barks at Steve, crawling across the carpet on all fours until he’s panting at his father’s jeans. 

Steve squats down to his level, a gentle hand on either side of the boy's neck. “Oh, nooo. They didn’t turn you into a real dog, did they? Are we going to have to feed you from Daisy’s bowl now?” 

Andy slurps a rope of spit back in his mouth and rolls his eyes. “I’m just pretending, Dad.”

“Ohh,” Steve laughs, pressing him impossibly closer. “You did so good, bud. Proud of you.” 

“Did you see me? When I barked at the pirates?” 

“I did! I actually thought it was a real dog.” 

Andrew cackles once, throwing his head down on Steve’s shoulder. 

Steve pats his fuzzy back. “Tired?” 

He blinks up at you curiously and shakes his head. 

“Andy,” Steve cranes toward you, “this is my friend, Y/N. Can you say hi?”

He lifts his head and barks, high-pitched and snappy as a chihuahua. 

Steve tilts his ear away and pinches Andy’s side until the barking turns to giggles. “In English, please.” 

“Hi, Y/N,” Andy squeals out between the remainder of his laughter. 

“Hi, buddy.” You kneel beside Steve and fawn, “You did such a good job!”

Andy pokes his tongue through the gap in his smile. He looks you over entirely and bats his long lashes like a paper fan. 

“I got these for you,” you say, tipping the colorful blooms toward his face. “This one’s for your sister. Here.” 

He chokes the plastic-wrapped stems in his tiny fist, half his face hidden behind a rainbow of petals. 

“Here, bud,” Steve takes one of his bouquets from the floor and tucks it in with yours, “this one’s from me.” 

Andy can’t see much of anything with his nose pressed to a daffodil but he loves them all the same. You pick yourself off the floor, your laughter spilling like the sun. 

“Let’s go find your sister,” Steve says, a hand braced on Andy’s shoulder as he stands too. 

Andy looks between you and Steve in amazement. “She was a mermaid. Did you see?” 

“We did,” Steve answers. “She was a great mermaid, don’t you think?” 

“Yes. She was all sparkly.” Andy slips his small hand into Steve’s, then automatically offers you his other.

You find Nancy, Brad, and Caroline outside the school near the parent pickup circle. Brad’s got Caroline’s hand in his, her feet tracing the edge of the sidewalk like a balance beam. 

She jumps off the curb when she spots Steve, tripping over her toes before breaking into a sprint for his arms. 

Steve kneels right there on the asphalt. “Hi, baby,” he laughs. She sets her elbows on his shoulders as he kisses her on each cheek. “Did such a good job up there!” 

“Did you see me!” she yells. “I wasn’t even scared! I didn’t forget my words like I thought I would.” 

Steve thumbs the corner of her crinkled eye where eyeshadow glares silver under the moon. “I know! My big girl. I’m so proud. Know that?” 

She giggles, her fingers scrunching around the cellophane wrapping in his hand. “Are these for me?” 

“They are. For my best little lady.” 

She sticks her smile in the bouquet and sniffs. 

Steve is oblivious to the heart-warmed grin on your face. But you watch the scene unfold, feeling an unexpected fondness for a family that isn’t yours. You’re only a guest in their little world, an outsider looking in— but even from here, it’s undeniable. He’s a great dad.

“Hey, I have someone I want you to meet,” Steve says. 

You’re so enraptured by the moment, you completely forget that’s your cue. Steve beckons you over with features that echo Carolines, not just in emotion but in shape too. They’re cheek-to-cheek looking at you like a pair of very happy identical twins. 

“Hi, Caroline,” you wave and offer the same hand to shake.

She smiles big and wraps her smaller fingers around yours. “You came to see our show?”

“I did! You were a really amazing mermaid, you know? I especially liked the dance with the sea stars.” 

She shrinks away, suddenly sheepish as she thanks you. 

“Oh, here,” you shift the bouquet in your arms toward her, “before I forget, these are for you.”

“Another! Oh my gosh!” Her beaded hair-tie clinks as she pivots. “Mom! Look! I have three flowers now!” She takes the bouquet at the base and books it toward Nancy who’s engrossed in a conversation with Brad. “Can I keep them in my room, please? And can we get some more vases tonight? I’ll water them, I promise, Mommy.”

You have a fondness for his kids Steve doesn’t often see in the eyes of strangers. They're quite rambunctious a lot of the time and while the elderly compliment him and his genes occasionally, this is different. Affection softens every line of your expression and there’s joy stitched in each sweep of your lashes. It’s endearing as it is strange because ultimately you are still very much a stranger. 

Steve trusts Robin’s judgment more than his own sometimes. If love for his kids were a race, she’d take a very close second against him. She takes her duties as an aunt very seriously and so he’s confident you’re as great as she says. But still, he doesn’t know you personally. He can’t know your intentions for certain. And he might feel guiltier about that in the context of introducing you to his kids— if you weren’t so undeniably wonderful.

You idle beside Steve, a short distance from the rest of the crew. He places his hand on the small of your back and you exchange quiet smiles. 

It’s mostly for show. He feels the weight of Nancy’s gaze in his peripherals. But an ounce or two of Steve is motivated purely by his own self-interest.

He misses these simple acts of affection. Tracing the veins in someone else’s palm, kissing their eyelids, counting their lashes. It’s human nature, a need, he supposes. A need he’s been trying to convince himself is much more of a want. 

And you’re so very gentle with him. It’s really driving him mad. 

Nancy must tell the kids it’s time to go because they’re scrambling over in a cacophony of goodbyes. Steve gives them each a big squeeze and a little shake for the road. Caroline hugs you like you’re no different than the rest of them, while Andy, ever the little charmer, asks your name for the third time. They disappear behind the first row of cars, their voices carry far but fade into all the rest. 

When Steve turns, he finds you already looking at him. 

“They’re really great,” your smile worsens and Steve’s stomach capsizes, “your kids. You should be proud.”

The joy is contagious, infecting Steve with the same toothy smile, spreading through every cell in his body straight down to his jumping heart. “I am,” he manages. 

“God,” you shake your head at the stars, “I can’t believe that actually worked.” 

Steve closes his eyes and exhales a rough laugh. “You’re telling me.” 

“Did I make you uncomfortable at all? I didn’t want to do too much.” 

“No,” Steve promises. “No, no, it was perfect. You did great. Thank you.”

You throw your hand up in dismissal. “Don’t. That was… weirdly fun.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you chuckle, “is that fucked up?” 

“Not any more than me asking you to do this,” he snorts. 

“How long exactly do you plan to do this for? I could probably do most evenings but mornings are trickier with work.” 

Steve blinks unceremoniously. “Oh, I– well, I was just gonna tell her it didn’t work out, actually.”

“Really?” 

He struggles to understand your squinting. He didn’t expect you to question this part. “Yeah?”

“You want it to be believable, don’t you?” 

“Well, yeah–”

“Then you have to sell it, Steve. Give it a little buildup, some emotion. It would be so obvious if you ended it now.” 

He searches your face, not sure what he’s hoping to find. But there’s at least some level of authenticity there. “You’d want to? To keep going?”

“Like I said,” you frown, “weirdly fun.” 

He hums. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Okay.”

“I say we make a few more appearances, you know, as a happy couple. Then, we stage the breakup.” 

“What, in front of her?”

“No, not necessarily. But we plant the seeds. We aren’t as affectionate, we get a little worked up over something stupid. I don’t know. Just enough to make her catch on that things aren’t all that good. That’s believable.”

Steve stares at you for a long minute before his smile turns a sinister shade. “You’re crazy, aren’t you?” 

You huff but there’s no heat behind it. You’re grinning too. “I thought you had more manners than that, Steve.” 

“Yeah, well, if it's any consolation, I also think you’re a fuckin’ genius.”

“You’ve been a nice boyfriend, so, I’ll let it slide.”  

He rolls his eyes like a kid. He likes talking to you but he isn’t sure what else to say. 

“So, see you next time then?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “yeah, I’ll call you. Thank you.” 

“‘Kay. See ya.” 

There’s a beat before you go, a split-second where Steve could hug you, kiss your cheek, touch your arm. He’s not exactly sure what the protocol is for this type of situation, though. He makes the executive decision not to subject you to any more PDA lest you get the wrong idea about him. But the way you’ve got this all planned out, he’s not so worried anymore. 

“Bye,” he waves. 

You walk the same path Nancy and his kids had, the back of your head slipping behind the bed of a truck. There’s something about you. Something fun, something that makes him feel alive again. And a fake relationship isn’t really harming anyone if you’re both enjoying yourselves. So why the hell not? 

[sha-brytols]

i think like. the best example i can come up with in regards to the lack of internalized understanding in the writing is the way queerness is portrayed in the game.

you have zevran, a bisexual man written by a gay man. he uses his sexuality as a weapon to both seduce and distract his enemies, but also as a way to cope with his fear of attachment. this is. obviously a tired trope about bisexuals, but bear with me here.

zevran is incredibly open about his sexuality in a very down to earth and honest way. a female warden romancing him cannot do so without also accepting that he is interested in men as well. he tells her, up front, he's slept with men. he likes the company of men. this does not negate his affection towards her or vice versa, but he will not be made to feel ashamed or uncomfortable about his attraction for the sake of someone who won't accept them as part of who he is.

one game later. you have anders. a bisexual man written by a straight woman. his bisexuality is locked behind a romanced male hawke who is. well. clearly. also queer. a female hawke has no knowledge of anders being interested in men, and the only point in which past relationships are alluded to anders vaguely speaks as though he's never had one before. his writer openly said this was to avoid alienating the female player. bisexual men are gross. women don't find it attractive when bisexual men sleep with other men. you cannot have a bisexual man who is open about his sexuality with a heterosexual woman, she might get insecure and thus the player would be offended.

and thats just the queer men. leliana, written by a straight person, has entire portions of her romance arbitrarily cut out entirely from a female warden. a female warden literally cannot flirt with her unless she flirts first. half of leliana's romance banter is locked behind a male warden. there's no external acknowledgement of a warden that romances both her and alistair in the same way that there is for a warden that romanced her and morrigan, because well duh! alistair can only be romanced by women. why would a woman romance leliana?

and then there's da2. the game where a male hawke can have a cute discussion about being into men with anders. where a male hawke can feel insecure about fenris leaving him because what if he isnt actually interested in men? the game where there was a gay man behind the scenes likely advocating for a better portrayal for queer men. but no queer women. isabela's romance with a femhawke gets almost no recognition as a fxf relationship outside of an EXTRAORDINARILY uncomfortable "lets have some girl fun 😜" merrill's romance with a femhawke gets weirdly rewritten into this. very. very odd semifreudian idol worship thing. a hawke that slept with isabela but moved on to merrill gets banter where its implied isabela actually still has feelings for them and is heartbroken that theyve moved on. a hawke that slept with isabela but moved onto anders/fenris gets "get over yourselves i did them too." because why would two women genuinely be interested in each other outside of sex when they have men?

it's a consistent problem. a consistent pattern. dorian's sexuality is front and center in his character and its done with the lens of a gay man who struggled with his own external environment in relation to his identity. sera's sexuality is a footnote in the game, barely alluded to outside of a few jokes and one moment where she'll reject a male inquisitor. and her romance is also a huge joke (which i dont mind i like how lighthearted it is, but is it not a huge contrast to how every other romance in the game is written? why is our first lesbian romance in the series given this treatment?) like it's a very interesting contrast to me in the way queerness is approached in the games depending on the writer's own experiences. and that's why i think a broader variety of voices would really benefit the series.

[readwithsahana]

Champagne-soaked 💋 LN4

pairing: lando norris x photographer!reader (first person pov)

warnings: implied smut, swearing, filming the implied smut- (its not that bad, trust.)

You are one of McLaren’s photographers for Lando. You loved your job but found it very hard to ignore how attractive the Brit was. After a well-deserved race win for him, you go to his driver’s room to get some post-race win content but you both end up doing some other things…

sahana here…hey guys, so i don’t know where this idea came from (lando’s 2023 sg gp pics, definitely those 🤭) but i hope you enjoy reading!!

———————————————————————

“It’s a McLaren 1-2 yet again, as Lando Norris takes the first step of the podium here in Singapore.”

The McLaren Garage was roaring, cheers going all around.

I grabbed my digicam out, a new thing they’ve asked us Socials managers to do, to take candid polaroids.

I took the camera and snapped a few pics of Stella being picked up by Zak and twirled around as they celebrated.

We watched from below as Oscar and Lando sprayed each other with champagne, both of them getting drenched.

There were a lot of perks, being one of McLaren’s photographers. Like going around the world, and seeing the race action up close but to you, the biggest one was getting to be around Lando every weekend. Who doesn’t love some eye candy at work?

After the interviews, they made their way to the driver rooms, to cool down. And as a good photographer, I know the best content is the post race ones, the fans love that- and maybe so did I, just a teeny tiny bit. I knock on the door labeled ‘4’, as I get the camera out.

“Hey Land- Oh, uh…”

I almost choke on air as I see a shirtless Lando appear infront of me. One thing about the Singapore grand prix, is that it’s warm, like really warm. Sweat drops were splattered onto his toned chest and the champagne from earlier dripping from his hair.

He smirks at my reaction, amused by how stunned I looked.

“Need the content, huh?”

I nod and brush away any thoughts that were surging going through my mind right now, composing myself. I give him an awkward smile as he lets me in. I try to distract myself from how…well let’s face it, sexy, he looked right now.

To be honest, I’ve been at this job for about 2 months now and I’ve seen a lot. I’m there when he’s getting out from his car, or in the ice bath, or walking in the paddock and interacting with fans, I’m always with him and I can’t lie I’d love to turn certain…dreams into reality but I’d never - I mean I’d lose my job probably, no, definitely.

I grip my camera as best as i can, my hands were weirdly sweaty…wonder why…and then switch the settings, getting ready to record.

“Okay can you say something like ‘thanks for the support’ and talk about the win?”

The young Brit nods, as he puts his fireproof back one, the fabric sticking to his skin outlining his defined body as if it wasn’t hard enough to stay focused. God, why?

I spot a curl of Lando’s hair out of place, and can’t help but want to fix it.

“One second, can I just?-“

He’s confused for a second but sees me signal to his hair and lets me fix it up. I can see his body tense a little as I move closer to him. I push that curl back into place, and brush out a few other rough spots. I feel the heat radiate off Lando, the sickeningly sweet smell of champagne sharp in the air. My heart was beating out my chest, the distance between me and him less than my will to live.

Was it warm in here? It surely felt like it. My cheeks felt like they were on fire, tinted reddish-pink.

My train of thought was broken off by a beeping sound from my camera. The sound made me jump back off him. I tried my best to brush off whatever unspeakable visions kept popping into my head. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m his goddamn photographer!?

“Uh- So, you ready?”

If i completely ignore the weird tension in the air, it’ll be fine…right? right.

I pressed record then he started thanking all the fans, and saying how happy he was that he won. I smiled from the other side of the camera at his proud tone and the way his lips curled up every time he mentioned the win.

After the video, there was just a few more photos to take for the socials managers to post later.

“Can you do the winner pose?”

“Winner pose?”

“Yeah the one all the winners do, you know? The cheering on one.”

I do the act out the pose that everybody does, when they win or do something well and he lets out a soft chuckle at my demonstration.

“So the usual one?”

“Yeah but just, like a winner.”

His dimples show up with that signature Lando smirk - the one that makes any girl fall to her knees swoon.

I click a few more pictures and go through them, showing them to Lando. I pull up next to him and face the camera screen towards him.

“Fans are gonna love that.”

“Just the fans?” He tilts his head to the side, with a pout looking at me. Shit, that was cute.

“Well who else?” I roll my eyes playfully, masking the violent butterflies i’m feeling right now. He smiles seeing the photos scanning through each of them, towering over me as he looks closer at one.

I felt some of the champagne and sweat soak through my McLaren team gear. My cheeks flare up, from him being so close and a cold sweat runs over my body. What is happening with me, you work for him?!

“They look good.”

“Thanks…”

I turn to face him forgetting how close we actually were standing. My breathing hitched as his face was less than a hands lengths away from mine.

“I uh-“

His lips crashed into mine.

Hands running wild, his gripping on to my waist. Mine find my way to his hair as though it were instinct. I can taste the champagne on his lips, sweet, leaving me craving for more. Our bodies pressed up against each other, both of us now sweaty and champagne soaked.

But i couldn’t shake the feeling in my gut telling me to pull away. I could lose my job for this, i could lose everything for this. Forcing myself to pull my lips away, it really did take all of my strength not to keep kissing the McLaren driver.

“Lando…I can’t.”

His cheeks were stained pink and warm from the kiss. He looked so majestic right now, it physically hurt to not kiss him again.

“Wha- Why? What happened?”

His brows furrowed, blue eyes staring at me with a mix of concern and frustration. Fuck, this was hard.

“I’m your photographer, I’m sorry I can’t…do this with you. I could lose my job, Lando.”

“Only if they found out, right?” His smirk was back. The corners of his eyes crinkling again like they always did. I took a second to think about it…

He wasn’t wrong. Even if he was, I wouldn’t agree.

“Only if they found out.”

I connect our lips again, the feeling electric. This time it was deeper, more passionate, more…needy.

Lando was riding a high like no other. Winning the Singapore grand prix and getting the girl? Though he’d like to consider this reward better than the trophy.

I reach over, not breaking the kiss, to keep the camera down on a nearby table but was stopped by his warm hands gently gripping mine.

“Turn it on.” Lando’s eyes were dark, lust-filled, tone gentle but assertive. He knew what he was asking for.

“Are you sure…?”

The young brit hummed into my skin, as he laid soft kisses down my neck driving me crazy. Well, its not like i’m going to disagree when he’s so good at convincing.

The camera beeps again as it sets to record, perched up onto the table. I never thought I’d be okay doing something like this with my employers camera…let alone, be turned on by it.

Things only got steamier from there, the British driver loving every second of this. He’d been eying you ever since you got the job really. The way you’d be quiet in one of the corners, always focused on taking photos - never really engaging with anyone else but Lando himself. He had wanted this since he first met you.

———

That night almost felt like a dream. Lando dropped me off in his car after we finished and I woke up with a smile on my face, and a text from the 25 year old.

‘You left your camera with me. Hope you don’t mind, i sent myself the video 😉’

‘LANDO WHAT?’

‘What? You looked so good with me last night I couldn’t help myself, baby.’

‘…Just make sure it doesn’t get out.’

‘As if! You’re all for me, and for me only. Why would I let other people see it?’

“I’ll be there in an hour. To pick up the camera.”

“Just to pick up the camera?😏”

[mihanisms]

teeth and temptation

— sylus intends to remind you exactly who you belong to. with possessive touches and whispered praises, he takes his time unraveling you—until the only name on your lips is his.

— pussy-drunk sylus, slight edging / praise / size kink. first sylus fic, i hope i did him justice :p

You stretch out on the sofa, sinking into the cushions, the house unbearably quiet without Sylus. Four days without him weirdly felt like an eternity. Your fingers fidget with the hem of your shirt as your eyes flick between the window and your phone—still nothing.

As boredom creeps in for the nth time, you curl onto your side, your cheek pressed against the cushion. The sound of a ticking clock and the rustling leaves outside lull you into a drowsy stillness, thoughts drifting away as sleep creeps in.

When you wake up, you’re no longer on the couch. The soft, luxurious feel of your bedsheets surrounds you, the air smells faintly of something familiar—leather and amber, a trace of something like gunpowder. The subtle sound of breathing next to you catches your attention.

You blink slowly, your head foggy with drowsiness as your eyes begin to adjust to your surroundings. The room is dim, and the pale light of the moon filters through the curtains. You glance down, your body adorned in a lacy white nightgown. For a moment, you’re confused and disoriented, unsure of how you got here or why you’re wearing something so….different.

Then, you hear it.

A deep, amused hum beside you. The familiar warmth of your lover’s presence envelops you. Your gaze shifts to the side and you find Sylus lying next to you, his face relaxed in the way it only ever is when he’s with you.

Your confusion melts away, fading into something soft and surprised. "Sy- Sylus…?" you whisper, breathy and tinged with disbelief, not sure whether this was real or not. His fingers start to thread lazily through your hair, his expression tender.

"Awake at last?" His voice is tinged with affection—smooth, teasing. He shifts closer, the sheets rustling around you, the cool air kissing your bare legs. "And here I thought you'd sleep the night away, kitten."

Heat creeps up your neck at the tone of his voice. He sounds unfairly attractive like this—fond, unguarded. You muffle a soft groan, burying your face into his chest. His chest vibrates with a bemused chuckle, his large hands intentionally roaming down your back.

"Something on your mind?" His fingers linger just above the curve of your ass, pressing you closer.

Suddenly finding yourself flustered, you barely manage to mumble back. "I’m just….wondering when you get back? Did you…change my clothes?"

Your shyness doesn’t escape him—in fact, he seems to revel in it. His thumb traces slow circles over the silky fabric of your nightgown, his breath closer, warm against your ear. The amused glint in his eyes darkens to something more predatory.

"I just got back a few hours ago. And in response to your other question, I did." His voice lowers with amusement. "You looked too peaceful sleeping on the couch, so I thought I’d let you rest, sweetie." His lips brush against your temple, a tender kiss that contrasts the heat stirring between you.

"I missed you," he mutters.  But there’s something deeper beneath it. Something unspoken, as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers are gently caressing your skin, his touch patient, wanting to draw you out. 

A warm flush spreads across your cheeks, tilting your head to meet his gaze, dark eyes full of an intensity that’s always there, even when he’s at his most tender. The distance between you closes as you feel his thumb glide along the lace of your gown, a gentle reminder that his presence is constant—unshakable.

"You were waiting patiently for me," he adds, his other hand pressing against your back, pulling you closer. "That’s something I’ll always appreciate, kitten."

He shifts slightly, his movements slow but intentional, tilting his head to press a line of kisses along the column of your throat. The tension in the air thickens, a quiet anticipation welling up within your core.

The hum of his voice faintly vibrates through you as he speaks. "You’ve been waiting for me this whole time…all on your own. I think that deserves something, don’t you?"

His hands roam gently, with purpose, pulling the lace of your nightgown higher, trailing upwards until they were sitting just below the edge of your panties. His touch is calming yet possessive, making you feel cherished and completely claimed in the same breath. 

"You’ve been so good for me, kitten," his voice husky with desire, beginning to settle in. "Let me show you just how much I appreciate that."

As the words leave his mouth, his lips are already moving down, pausing just long enough to nip at your chest, teeth pinching at your nipples before continuing his descent. Every brush of his mouth and press of his tongue sends waves of arousal through you. Finally, he settles between your thighs, his breath ghosting over the damp fabric clinging to your cunt. The contrast between the heat of his exhale and the cool air of the room has you shivering, a small plea for him to continue slipping past your lips.

"I’ve missed this,” he purrs, his words punctuated with a long, languid lick over the fabric of your panties, tasting. His hands spread you open wider, keeping you at his mercy as he mouths at you through the soaked barrier, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses against your clothed core. "Mm, been thinking about this for days. You have no idea how many thoughts of you filled my mind, sweetheart.”

Sylus keeps you like that, playing with you—drawing out your desires until your whimpers turn into needy, breathless pleas. Your hands thread through his hair, urging him closer, chasing the pleasure only he can give.

And of course, he gives in.

His teeth latch onto the waistband of your panties and pull it down just enough to reveal your dripping cunt. The moment the cool air hits your slick folds, a relieved moan tumbles from your lips. Instinctively, you grind down, seeking any sort of friction, your swollen clit brushing against Sylus’ nose, ripping out a shaky whine from your throat.

He chuckles at your desperation and indulges you, his tongue gliding slowly through your slick folds, savoring every drop with agonizing patience. His hands tighten around your thighs as he begins to lap up the wetness dripping onto the sheets, groaning with every lick to your cunt.

"So pretty like this," he muses against your pussy, his breath fire-hot against your entrance. "And you taste so good."

He flicks his tongue against your clit before sinking in deeper, fucking you with his mouth, his nose nudging perfectly against your aching clit. The slow, deliberate pace of his tongue and the rough pad of his thumb circling your oversensitive bundle of nerves have sparks of pleasure running through your body.

Your moans grow louder, your body moving on instinct as you grind down, chasing the high just out of reach. But Sylus—ever the tease—keeps you there, hovering at the edge, making out with your pussy between intervals of rubbing tight, teasing circles over your folds.

The coil inside you tightens, pleasure pooling low in your belly, yet he holds you there—just shy of release. 

"Sylus, p-please…" The words naturally spill from your lips, cracked and desperate.

At the sound of your ruined voice, Sylus pauses. Slowly, he lifts his head from your cunt, his lips glistening with your slick as he meets your dazed eyes with a satisfied smirk.

"Is there something you need, love?" he drawls, his fingers replacing his tongue, working you open.

"Uh-wah-! Need…Need you, need more, w-want-" Your words dissolve into breathy whimpers, your brain too fogged with pleasure to piece together a coherent plea.

"Mm, trying so hard to use your words even when you're all edged out," he remarks, mockingly impressed. "Just for me?" A deep sigh leaves him, almost as if pitying you. But the way his fingers push inside, stretching you open with ease, tells another story. Your back arches as your walls flutter around his digits, your brain fizzling out every last thought as he sets a steady, devastating rhythm.

His lips find your clit again, sucking, flicking, devouring, and the sensation sends a violent tremor through your body. His fingers curl, pressing into that one spot that makes you see stars-

And then you’re gone.

Your orgasm crashes over you, bliss flooding through you like a breaking dam, your vision blanking as you cry out his name over and over. Your thighs clamp around his head, hips grinding against his palm as he coaxes you through it, not stopping until you’ve soaked his fingers, his mouth, and even the sheets beneath you.

Sylus moans, his gaze fixated on how your slick drips down onto his digits. His eyes then meet yours and he carefully lifts his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean, his tongue swirling around each one with a sinful satisfaction that has your cunt pulsing around nothing.

Then, in one swift movement, he shifts back up, caging you beneath him, his body heat blanketing you. His lips descend onto yours, his tongue slipping between your lips, letting you taste yourself on him. His hands grip your thighs possessively, anchoring you beneath him.

You break away just long enough to catch your breath, yet the moment your gaze locks with Sylus’, you lose it all over again. His red eyes are glazed over with desire, heavy with the weight of holding himself back. 

Like a dragon hoarding its most prized treasure, his grip tightens on your thighs, his fingers flexing possessively against your skin. The veins in his forearms stand out, tension coiling beneath his touch as if he’s holding himself back—or deciding just how much to take. His gaze burns into you, reverent and hungry all at once, as if you’re something sacred. Something he aches to consume whole. Something his.

Breathing in your scent, Sylus unzips his pants, freeing his cock from the tight constraint of his boxers. Your breath hitches at how his length slaps against his stomach, and he catches your reaction, his smirk deepening as he presses a slow kiss to the side of your face.

"Intimidated, kitten?" His voice is low, amused, though there’s an unmistakable gentleness beneath it. "Don’t worry, I’ll go slow. I know it’s been a while."

Despite his reassurance, a flicker of nervous anticipation settles in your stomach. He notices, of course—his touch turning softer, more deliberate. His fingers soothingly trace patterns along your thighs as he positions himself between them, the heat of his body weaving intimately with yours.

He moves with patience, dragging the tip of himself along your cunt, gathering the slick from your folds before nudging forward. The stretch is slow, meticulous, a soft mewl slipping past your lips as he sinks in inch by inch.

Sylus groans at the way your body hugs him, his fingers tightening around your hips as he guides himself further inside. The bed creaks with each of his thrusts, mingling with the sound of your uneven breaths. He fills you completely, every inch of him sliding deeper, claiming every part of you.

Meanwhile, your hands clutch at the sheets, the fabric twisting between your fingers as he sets a steady rhythm, savoring the way you react to every movement. The feel of him is overwhelming —each thrust calculated, controlled. His touches map your body with reverence, tracing over every dip and curve as he watches your reactions, completely captivated.

"You always take me so well," he growls, pressing a kiss against your temple, his breath warm against your skin. "Just like that, sweetheart.”

Sylus takes his time, letting you feel every inch of him, his movements unhurried as he buries himself deeper. A strangled moan is pulled from your throat, and he purrs satisfactorily in response, the husky sound vibrating through your body. His lips never stray from your skin, his breath hot against your temple as he places open-mouthed kisses along your cheek before his teeth scrape gently at your pulse, his tongue soothing the lingering bite.

"Fuck, sweetheart," he rasps. His hips roll forward in a deep thrust, forcing a sharp gasp from your lips. "So tight—your pussy missed me this much, huh?" Your fingers dig into his biceps, nails digging into his muscles as he presses deeper, burying himself to the hilt. A choked sob slips from your lips, your body struggling to readjust to the way he stretches you out. He catches the sound and soothes you, his hand drifting down your stomach, his fingers splaying possessively over your soft flesh.

"Shhh, you're taking me so well," his voice a slow, indulgent murmur. He presses down slightly, feeling the way he fills you from the inside. "You feel that? How deep I am?"

His free hand laces with yours, fingers threading together as he presses your arms above your head, keeping you pinned beneath him. The vulnerability and affection of the situation has you keening, your head tilting back, exposing more of your throat for him to kiss. His pace is steady, pulling out only to push back in with a languid roll of his hips that has you gasping his name.

"Sylus-" The cry is soft, desperate, your body tightening around him.

He groans against your skin, his forehead pressing against yours as he slows even further, dragging out every movement. "Fuck, you sound so good," he breathes, his voice catching on another moan. "So sweet when you're like this."

A loud whimper escapes you. "Sy, I can’t think- I can’t-"

He smirks lazily, relishing how desperate you were for him. "You don’t have to," he coos, releasing your hands to brush his knuckles along your cheek. "Just feel me, kitten. Let me take care of you."

His hips snap forward at a sharper angle, dragging a broken cry from you as he finds that spot that has your hands frantically moving to his back, nails scraping down his back as a ragged moan tears from your lips. He grunts at the sting, but the way his cock twitches inside you spells out his pleasure. 

"Eyes on me," he coaxes, brushing his thumb over your trembling lips. "I want to watch you fall apart on my cock." His eyes are dark and lidded as his pace remains unhurried, savoring every gasp, every shudder of your body beneath him.  His grip tightens on your thigh as he pulls back just to press into your g-spot again, your walls clamping down around him like a vice in response.

“S-Sylus, please-” You don’t even know what you’re begging for. Faster? Harder? More? You’re teetering on the edge, and all you can do is scratch at him like a madman.

A heavy chuckle escapes him as he leans down closer to make sure your gaze is set on him. Only him. His breath is searing against your lips as he presses a lazy kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Please what, sweetheart? Use your words.”

You mewl helplessly, your hips twitching beneath him in search of friction, but he only tightens his grip, holding you firmly in place. Then—he stills completely, his cock buried deep and unmoving. The sudden loss of motion has a frustrated whimper spilling from your lips, your body aching for the pleasure he’s dangling just out of reach.

Your lover brushes his thumb over your bottom lip, looking into your glassy eyes and tutting softly. “Come on, kitten. You were doing so well for me. Tell me what you want.”

Barely able to focus, you whimper loudly, body wound so tight you feel like you might explode at the slightest touch. “Want…want you to move. Please- please, Sy…”

His smirk deepens, clearly satisfied with your desperation. “There you go. That wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

Then, without warning, he rolls his hips forward again, dragging a loud, broken moan from your lips as he resumes his slow, devastating pace. His hand slides between your bodies, fingers finding your swollen clit, rubbing slow, deliberate circles that have you thrashing beneath him.

“Sylus-!” His name is basically ripped from your throat, your back arching off the bed as pleasure continues to slam through you in waves.

“That’s it,” he praises, his gaze thick with satisfaction and lust. “Let me hear you. Let everyone hear who’s making you feel this good.” 

His breathing turns ragged as his thrusts quicken, losing some of their controlled precision as he chases both of your highs. The filthy, wet sounds of your bodies moving together fill the room, accompanied only by the sharp gasps and needy cries spilling from your lips.

“God, I love this- love you like this,” he groans, pressing even deeper to draw out more of your reaction. “So beautiful when you’re falling apart for me.”

Your walls flutter in a tell-tale sign around him, and he sucks in a sharp breath, his movements growing more eager. “Shit- gonna cum for me, kitten?” His fingers press down harder against your clit, wanting to build up all the sensations you were feeling before you reached your peak. “Wanna feel you when you do. Show me.”

His words unravel you completely, your orgasm hitting with a force that leaves you trembling, your vision going white as you cry out his name. Your walls spasm around him, dragging him deeper into your release, and the sensation is too much for him to resist.

A guttural moan is torn from his throat, and his hips stutter before he thrusts one last time, burying himself to the hilt as he spills inside you, warmth flooding your entire cunt. His grip on you is almost bruising as he rides out his own high, pressing soft, messy kisses against your lips like a man starving.

For a long moment, neither of you speak, your breaths mingling as you come down together. Then Sylus chuckles, a warm, satisfied sound against your skin.

“Fuck,” he mutters, brushing damp hair from your face. “If this is how we fuck after four days, then I might just make you wait longer next time, sweetie.”

You swat at his arm weakly, still too boneless to do much else. “Don’t you dare.”

He laughs, pressing another comfortable, lingering kiss to your lips before nuzzling into your neck. “Relax, sweetheart. I wouldn’t last that long without you anyway.”

[honey-tongued-devil]

[Arcane preference] reacting to their s/o wearing mobility aids

When I said I was prioritizing the illnesses I had, I didn’t expect the hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, but here we are. For those who don’t know what it is: it’s a genetic condition that affects the ligaments, making them longer and/or looser, which cause problems over time. In my case, it affects my legs, so I’ll write about those. As always, if you want to read more of my work, you can click on the coloured texts! here the Tumblr masterlist, and here are the first two chapters of Everytime it Rains.

socials: | INPRNT | | Tip Jar | | X | | BlueSky | | Ao3 |

Jayce:

He’s well-versed in what to do and not do, being around two people with a similar condition (though he’ll never call it a "disease" out loud for fear of making anyone uncomfortable).

His help is as subtle as possible: he’ll grab your backpack, shoulder bag, or anything else you’re carrying to keep you from overexerting yourself.

During walks, he’s the one who’ll suddenly mention it’s getting cold, too hot, or that he just remembered something, as soon as he senses you’re getting tired, assuming your fatigue is worse than his.

The first time you said, “I’ll pass, my knees are about to bend” he didn’t realize they bent backwards, and when he saw what that actually meant, he went pale.

He felt guilty about his reaction for at least a week.

Viktor:

Tell him something he doesn’t know.

He’s the one who’ll comment, “Where’s your brace?” if he sees you with bare legs and no aid, maybe tapping your foot lightly with his cane to emphasize his disapproval.

On the bad days—when fatigue, cold, or any external factor makes both of your legs useless—you end up helping each other out, spending most of the time on the couch with pillows under his knees and your legs draped over his.

If you have to do something alone while he’s busy, he’ll ask Jayce to accompany you, ensuring you don’t overdo it without realizing.

Ekko:

Honestly, he couldn’t care less. I mean, it’s not a big problem for him

The first time he saw your knees bend weirdly and too much, he just said, “Ouch.”

Other than that, there are hoverboards! If your legs stop cooperating at some point in the day, he’ll just have you balance seated on the hoverboard, saying it’s a gentleman’s duty to escort such an attractive lad/lady around.

He doesn’t ask what you want or need; he just does it, whether it’s bringing you food or removing your knee brace to let your skin breathe.

If he’s going to be away from the house for a while, he leaves a few things ready for you, like water bottles, so you don’t have to strain yourself carrying them up the stairs on your own.

When he sees you’re worn out, he’ll ask if you want a massage, using some body butter to improve circulation, relieve stress, and keep your skin elastic.

Vander:

His first instinct would be to carry you, but since that’s sweet yet sometimes awkward, you both agree that at night ‘it’s a man’s right to carry his wife/husband to bed, disability or not’.

He doesn’t know exactly how to help, so aside from asking if you need anything—like grabbing your aids, bringing them to you, or helping you put them on—he won’t push, knowing you’ll ask for help if you need it.

If you need to go upstairs, he’ll always walk behind you so that if your knees give out, he can catch you and avoid disaster.

At least two rectangular pillows appear in every useful room so you can place them under your knees. The problem is that you forget about them most of the time, so they’re not much help—at least until he comes along, lifts your legs, and places them in a more comfortable position.

"My legs hurt."

"Oh no, I’m sorry, I’m afraid we’ll have to cut them off," he jokes with a mock-serious expression, bursting into laughter when you swat at him in response.

Silco (old man):

Some things you could do on your own but feel more intimate when done together. That’s why you often trot into his office with the fabric sleeve and brace in hand, handing them to him, and he gives you his shimmer syringe in return.

There’s no specific reason beyond the mental closeness and vulnerability of the act.

“Too tight?” will always be his question, even though he knows by now how to adjust it perfectly and doesn’t need to ask.

When you’re together, he’s the one to carefully remove it, stroking your leg while lost in thought.

He never sends anyone to assist you; instead, he asks if you think it would be better to have someone accompany you, making sure you reassure him if you insist you can manage alone.

Silco (Young Man):

Zaun isn’t exactly suitable for crutches or unsteady footing, so as soon as you let him know about your condition, he feels even more compelled to improve the city (or at the very least, smooth out the streets).

He’ll ask questions—few but direct—to understand what it is and how he should act.

If you drop something, he’ll be quick but subtle about picking it up and putting it somewhere easier for you to reach.

“Do you want to go home?” is the question he’ll ask you most often, even if it’s just with a look, despite you explaining multiple times that you’ll let him know if you can’t keep going.

But he knows you push yourself beyond your limits, so he worries.

At night, he’s made it a small ritual to massage your legs when you stretch them out in bed, and it actually helps relieve the tension.

Jinx:

“I can make you a mechanical one.”

When you explain what the condition is and that you don’t need a replacement leg but help for the ones you have, she starts carrying around a notebook, taking notes on the “flaws” of your aid to make you a custom version better suited to your daily life and body.

“I’ll do it!” is her go-to response for anything you need to do that she thinks takes too much effort. She doesn’t even ask; she just throws herself into it with so much enthusiasm it becomes amusing after a while.

You don’t have many intact knee braces or aids left, because according to her, they were “boring,” and she’s customized them—though they still work pretty well.

Even if she won’t admit it, she’s become even more protective of you. For example, if someone bumps into you in the street, she’s ready to jump to your defense immediately.

Vi:

She doesn’t really know how to react or respond because of how versatile the condition is. How does she figure out which days your legs won’t work and which ones they will? Or when they’ll start hurting before it’s too late?

You two agree on a small code: you tap her hand or shoulder three times rhythmically when you start to feel fatigued so that if you’re in public or with company, you don’t have to announce it to everyone if you don’t want to. She’ll immediately understand.

She’s a little scared of doing the wrong thing. She doesn’t know how to handle it and, even though she tries not to, she starts to perceive you as more fragile, moving with a fear of accidentally hurting you.

But she learns over time. She’ll simply ask more often if you need anything when she’s going to the kitchen or the store.

And when you’re cuddling, she’ll pull your legs onto hers.

Caitlyn:

She asks you to explain the condition to her—what you can and can’t do and how she can help.

She’s the ultimate advocate for your aid.

If you skip wearing it one morning because you don’t feel like it or the pain hasn’t started yet, you can bet she’ll notice and say something.

Sure, it can be a bit annoying, but considering it’s a degenerative condition, you know she’s right, so you can’t really get mad at her.

If you’re just not in the mood, she’ll put it on for you herself, with such care that you start to wonder if there’s an instruction manual she got that you didn’t.

Beyond that, she’s not overbearing. She trusts that you’ll communicate when you don’t feel like doing something, and she doesn’t presume to know your limits better than you do.

Mel:

It’s not too much of a problem, considering most of your activities together don’t involve much walking or moving due to her work.

That doesn’t stop her from taking an interest, though. At least once a week, she’ll ask you how your legs are

If they hurt, if you need different support or more comfortable shoes, or if you just need a footrest or a cushion—she’s ready and ensures everything you might need is on hand. If she can’t get it herself, she’ll send someone.

During dinners, she privately asks whoever is in charge of arranging things to provide you with a footrest and an extra cushion on your chair. If you tell her it’s unnecessary, her response will be, “Can’t I spoil my partner a little?”

She knows you’ll let her know if you’re having issues, but she takes all the necessary precautions to ensure no problems arise in the first place.

Sevika:

Again, tell her something she doesn’t know.

The difference between your legs and her arm—besides the fact that yours are still intact—is that they require less messy and time-consuming maintenance than hers. So not only does she not mind helping, but she hardly even notices.

She won’t ask if you need anything unless you say so or show explicit signs of struggling. It’s a deliberate choice to avoid making you feel like she thinks you’re not independent or capable.

On the couch or in bed, she’ll have you rest your legs on hers and prop you up with cushions behind your back, making sure you’re fully supported.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Favorite Guest | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Visiting the controversial but fascinating zoo: Twisted Territories is something you finally got around to doing. Usually satisfied with the attached aquarium and petting zoo; it’s a bit of an adventure going into the very popular exhibit. 

“Here is our exhibit for our Nagas! If you don’t see them don’t feel bad they are a little shy. So if you like you may look up at the screen where we have some footage of our training with them–”

The zookeeper kept talking as the crowd made a makeshift line along the glass of the giant enclosure—moving awfully quickly because of the lack of action. Letting yourself fall into the back of the line you took your time admiring the grand enclosure. Much larger than any you’ve seen it was likely they could’ve been in plain sight camouflaging with the foliage inside it. Finally telling yourself to move on you take one last look at a specific spot in the bushes. Doing a double take you try to see if you saw the shimmer of someone’s eyes. 

“Mommy, when will I get a chance to see?”

Hearing the child’s whining you decide your time at the glass was up, writing off what you’d seen as an especially shiny plant in the exhibit. Pushing it to the back of your mind, the memory fades with the attraction of the merpeople and the wolf-hybrids who were much more present. It’s good enough to encourage you to come back, once again giving the Naga exhibit a chance. 

Spending a little while looking at the unreal nature, hoping you’ll find some hidden pattern of scales or a tiny bit of movement that reveals where the Nagas may be. It didn’t take long before your eyes were drawn to the open space right behind the glass. Only having time to look befuddled before a crowd of people started to form around you. 

“Look that snake-man came right up to the glass! Quick get your camera!”

As so many voices began to point out, a pale upper human half with a silver tail coiling behind him was right up against the glass. Hands-on the glass with his dark eyes trained on you, this Naga with a choppy bowl cut didn’t seem keen on moving. His intense eye-bags made it hard to tell if you were angering him or just entertaining him. You weren’t keen to find out. 

It took a while but you let the crowd take your place struggling to get through them to move on to the next exhibit. Taking advantage of the crowd’s excitement, when you looked back you couldn’t see the Naga which you could delude yourself into believing it was pure coincidence. Trying to enjoy the rest of your trip to the zoo, once again you tried to push your weird encounter into the back of your head. When that doesn’t work you settle for calling yourself ‘lucky.’ Who else has gotten such a close view of one of the illusive Nagas in the enclosure? 

This is why you internally scold yourself when you find a special invitation to that part of the zoo again. The email claims it's a prize for being such a frequent visitor and it makes sense that they offer a discounted price. If only to shake away the memories of the odd encounter you do again this time avoiding that exhibit for last, with plans to go at the end of your stay. You try to hurriedly rush through the path without incident.

The sound of a glass being banged and a muted hiss has you turning to look at the nagas exhibit. This time there are two–the grey one who’s tail was still on the glass and the other whose tail is a vibrant blue with hair to match. The blue one was coiled in on himself practically hiding behind the grey haired one–but he was also looking at you. Both leaning in tandem as you tested going further down the path. Once again the crowd was in an uproar surrounding the spot. You could see the blue one hurriedly retreat into the bushes of the exhibit while the grey one lingered. Through the surrounding crowd you found yourself locking eyes with dark grey ones. The glare was the same as before—a demanding sort of stare that weirdly made you feel guilty for turning away. 

Well…you were never coming to this zoo again.

__________________________________________________________

“Hi, can you please please come to the zoo again? I’m asking personally because legally that wouldn’t be right but there’s this neat grey area where I can–”

Cater couldn’t help but ramble as he spoke to the former frequent guest of the zoo. Tasked by his superiors to do whatever was needed to get the Nagas corporation. Since uniting the three specimens their murderous tendencies had increased. For a time there were vague signals of in-fighting but that quickly died down and suddenly their scientists and zookeepers were turning up dead. 

It seemed like there was no end to the carnage. 

Until (Y/n) came along.

In the zoo’s database, they were listed as a common face. An annual pass and accessories to match it was a matter of time before they visited the new mystical exhibits. What no one expected that it’d be them who got the Nagas to be active. With cameras placed on the ceiling and some trees, the scientist smart enough not to go inside could watch. But the Nagas were smart they knew precisely where they were and their intense strength didn’t help. Taking advantage of the terrain that didn’t need to be changed the Nagas made their supposed nest in a cave which meant that no scientists could see them even at rest. 

So it shocked everyone when they saw multiple dashes across the screen at the fifth big crowd of the day. Unlike some of their other creatures who had fun toying with the guests and were rewarded for it. The Naga s were never a part of this group usually ignoring guests or making themselves completely unseen on purpose. But now they were rushing to the edges of the forest without a care for the cameras or the eyes of amazed onlookers all to look at one person in particular.

“That one human. When will they be here again?”

Cater was the unlucky understudy who was finally spoken to rather than immediately suffocated for simply delivering food. He was shaking like a leaf as he promised to find out for them. It was a wonder they spoke at all let alone the biggest one of all. 

The creatures Twisted Territories had gathered were oddly enough quite close to one another. Already having split themselves into factions and hierarchies that fit with their species. But the greatest predator and the most feared was none other than the rumored dragon. Illusive and feared the only reason he hadn’t decided to end the organization was because he was looking for something specific. 

He said this after leaving nothing of an army of men and women. 

No bones. No blood. No survivors to speak of.

This is why it was a miracle that Cater was able to return to the guffawing scientists with a message at all. Bringing this up to the Superiors he was praised and tasked with making sure that their requests were fulfilled. 

Did these creatures have a type they liked to kill?

An interest in specific blood types or was it something else?

Was it a mating interest?

Competition?

The possibilities were endless and those superiors of his were hungry for answers. Granted it would come at the cost of this poor person’s life but he wasn’t in a position to argue. Not when he told the dragon he’d find you himself.

“I’m not really interested in returning anytime soon.”

That wasn’t going to work.

“I…actually would like to offer you an exclusive look at one of our exhibits. We’ll give you a free meal and some extra merch–”

“I’m sorry but I really don’t want to. Those Nagas really put me on edge.”

Cater’s heart sunk even deeper into his stomach. Letting his mind wander to the consequences of failing to get the subject to come willingly. His superiors would no doubt go to the extremes– buying the land around them, blackmailing, entrapping their family. It would be so much worse than a simple call. 

“I shouldn’t be saying this but the next time someone calls you about coming…there will be dire consequences.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know if they’ve already heard me…just pack a bag and come, please. I don’t know what they’ll do.”

Cater hung up the call, his heart aching in his chest. Looking at his feet he was acutely aware of the shadow that stretched in the doorway near them. 

He thought he was safe.

He thought he was essential.

The first one to speak to The Dragon without being dead.

Perhaps he wouldn’t get to deliver the guest to the dragon himself. 

Maybe you’d be better off on your own.

__________________________________________________________

“Welcome (Y/n) (L/n) to your official behind-the-scenes of Twisted Terrain. Is there anything I can get you before we start?”

“The guy I was talking to…where is he?”

“.....Right this way honored guest.”

You didn’t like how they deflected but it prepared you for what you may be dealing with. Despite the media denouncing it, you’ve been looking at the forums. Written off as hurtful conspiracies to zoos they provided their speculation about the zoo’s latest additions and how far their willing to go to keep them. Sadly it aligned with everything that’s happened so far; more people with suits surrounded you as you further traversed into the maze of staff-only doors. It didn’t make you feel so bad about scheduling a post about this thing. They’d take it down eventually sure but if you were never coming back it’d be best to warn others about this wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

“So here is the private extension of the Naga exhibit, where our scientists do their best to learn while taking care of our reptile friends.”

Seeing where this part of the exhibit expanded from the one the public saw was shocking. From a previous perspective, it already looked like a small forest, this larger part just made it so much larger. You realize this makes the Naga’s interest in one specific side of the glass that much weirder.

“Now if you’ll do me a favor and step up to the glass so you can have a closer look at their habitat?”

It wasn’t really a question, the slight inching of the others in suits said so. Adjusting your hold on the strap you were holding some luggage with, you step forward. In your heart of hearts, you almost hope that nothing will happen. That this would all turn out to be some ruse that happened to be triggered by the environment or the color of the clothes you wore. 

Like the feeling of realizing something so uncomfortable, so nightmarish, happening to you, and when you blink your eyes, you are not dreaming. The whole wood seemed to rustle as a long green tail much larger than the other Nagas’ you’d seen reached for the glass between you two. Almost caressing the glass. 

“Spectacular! I would’ve never believed it if I hadn’t seen it! Alright, let’s get them in there! Get those cameras ready I don’t want to miss an angle–”

“What?! Ahhh!”

The people in suits held you tight, maneuvering to a vault-like door where they took you and your bag inside. Feeling the bruises on your skin you tried to regulate your breathing and it was proving hopeless. The gaggle of people surrounding you in lab coats with cameras and notepads, it seemed as though they truly were prepared to feed you to these Naga. The feeling really sunk in when you were slammed into the dirt watching from over your shoulder as thousands of people watched like an audience of Colosseum—practically cheering for your massacre. Breathing in and out, you tried to ignore the burning ache of cuts on your hands and knees. You squeezed the handle of your bag as you walked into the forest, a glance back showed the gaggle behind the glass groaning and whining that you didn’t stand in the clearing the gate opened up.

You thought about flipping them off but this would have to do.

The second you stepped past the forest’s edge it was that same green tail that gently wrapped around your back guiding you through the forest. It was alarming but oddly comforting that the muscles underneath those evergreen scales were somehow softer than the humans who brought you here. 

“Where are you taking me?”

You continued to follow its light pushing and support over more rocky terrain. It eventually stops at the mouth of a cave, the tail disappearing into its darkness. Popping out again to imitate a finger calling you to come in.

You patted your pockets for your phone; coming up empty they must’ve swiped it while they were manhandling you into the enclosure. Figuring you’re better off relying on another sense you let your hand drag along one side of the cave, leaning on it as the ground dipped as you got even farther. 

“I can’t believe they brought you.”

Turning to the left of you, you were sure you heard a voice there. Looking in the darkness for any kind of movement you continued along. After that, you make sure to listen for some kind of sliding equated with the sound of Naga s slithering but you hear nothing. 

“D-did they put any wires on you?”

Turning again and seeing no one you put your back to the wall. Hoping that this will eliminate the directions someone can come at you. Shimmying along the wall you debate with yourself about how to react to these voices around you, whether you’d respond or swipe if only to prove you weren’t going insane. Before you could decide you felt something swiftly pull at your clothes.

“Ah!”

“S-s-orry it’s just that they did put something on you.”

“Uh, thanks?”

Whoever was the owner of this shaky voice made a sound you’ve never heard before. It sounded close but when you dared to reach a hand out you found nothing again. Continuing on your way, you wondered how far you’d get before you reached wherever you should have gone.

A cool sensation spread across your waist, making you jump. Thinking it was water or something you sent a speculative finger down to check finding what stopped you in your tracks was a Naga tail. It pulled you from the wall into a warm and lean chest; for good measure matching pair of arms wrapped around you trapping you against what you assumed to be one of the Nagas you were meant to meet. Seeing as the coils that wrapped around you were only moderately squeezing you figured you could let your guard down. 

“To think you had to be with those nasty humans this whole time makes me sick.”

That voice was the first you heard. The voice was smooth authoritative and a little snobbish you wondered which of the Nagas you’d seen was the owner. 

“Um, can I ask some–AcK!”

“Don’t squirm, I’m checking past these infernal coverings.”

The hands inspecting you were just as chilly as his tail which was maneuvering you in all sorts of ways to help remove the ‘infernal coverings.’ Trying to push the hands away proved to be nothing but a nuisance to the Naga who casually slapped your hands away to continue trying to remove your clothes.

“Wait don’t—”

“Stop whining! I can look better if you just stop–”

“Rollo, please.”

The voice that spoke from somewhere unusually close was deep, a baritone that practically shook the air of the cave. A command that had the Naga holding you stopping their attempt at removing your clothes, letting you rest in their coils.

The light draft of the cave became more intense, wafting against your cheeks in a cold thrush. A light brush became an intense whirl, making you shut your eyes from the dark expanse of the cave. There was the sound of something cackling like a fire and then the faint wave of light reaching through the cover of your eyelids. Opening your eyes to a whole new cave, a green flame burning on a torch being the main reason.

“You must be gentle. Their eyesight is much different than ours it makes sense they’d be  disoriented.”

The owner of the deep voice was a pale man with hair as long and dark as the cave, you’d entered. With a pair of horns on his head and evergreen scales trailing from his cheeks down his unclothed chest blending with the length of his tail. His tail was hard to see for its true color with the glow of the green flame but accounting for it you recognized the scales for the evergreen ones that guided you into the cave. Looking at the now illuminated ground it was that same evergreen tail that seemed to curve and coil all around. Trying to pinpoint the end of the tail to its beginnings led you to meet its owner. Resting on one of many coils of his, with a fanged smile you could feel the heat rising from the pit of your stomach as slitted evergreen eyes looked deep into your own. 

Taking a gulp you tried to speak,” You led me here right?”

 He was still smiling at you, making you wonder if he planned to respond to you at all. Unable to hold his gaze you found yourself looking away. 

“Haha, I did!”

His laugh reverberated through the cave sending shivers up your spine. When you dared to look again he was much closer. Seconds ago he was leagues away now barely a hair from your nose, it only served to make you turn away again in embarrassment.

“I am glad you found a way in here considering how dark it is for you.”

“T-thanks.”

“I don’t see what that has to do with checking you for wounds.”

The snobbish voice of your captor reminded you that he was there, finally looking over to put a face to the voice. He was the gray-haired Naga with tired eyes that you recalled glaring at you through the glass. 

“You!?”

“Is there a reason you're pointing at me like that?”

“You were the one who was glaring at me that one time I came.”

He sighed exasperated as though it was tiresome to recount the frightening experience. He crossed his arms upturning his nose at you as he turned his head, all the while keeping those grey eyes trained on you.

“I wasn’t glaring. I was watching.”

“Why’d you slam against the glass then!?”

“You weren’t looking, it was just a light tap to get your attention.”

“And the hissing?!”

“Well, I think it was wrong of you to just ignore me like that, especially after you left last time.”

“You freaked me out! Of course, I left!”

He rolled his eyes at you, “I don’t see why this is still important.”

The one with the black hair came close again, tilting his head in your direction. 

“First impressions are very important Rollo. If you scared them you have to take responsibility.”

“Y-y-yeah!” 

The Naga with the grey hair—Rollo rolled his eyes again bringing the tip of his tail to cover the bottom half of his face. Very badly hiding the sneer on his face.

“Whatever. You’ve been dodging the topic of those injured of yours. I think whatever I’ve done in the past doesn’t quite matter now.”

You immediately wanted to protest as the green-eyed Naga beside you gently grabbed your hands and opened them to reveal scratches from bracing your fall. Trailing up your wrist and to your arm gently caressing the bruises you could feel forming. 

For the first time since you’d met him, he wasn’t smiling. A neutral expression on his face but the sharp twists and twirls of his tail said otherwise. You turned to Rollo who was still holding the tip of his tail over his mouth, this time hiding a subtle act of gritted teeth. His tired eyes were also on your arms where the other Naga was still caressing. 

“Those in the coats did this to you?”

“Uh yes.”

Rollo spoke up again, his tail wrapping around you tighter, “Despicable humans! They can’t do a single thing right!”

Shooting him a look, he brought the tip of his tail down to fold his hands in front of him. 

“Don’t get me wrong. I adore you all the same. It’s just all other humans.”

As if that was any better. 

A flurry of sparkling lights flooded your vision bringing your attention to the Naga who was solemnly guiding the lights on your wounds. The dull ache coming from them began to dissipate as the open scratches closed themselves and the discoloration from the bruises faded away. 

“I think this is reason enough.” 

“I agree. I’ve been wanting to tear those humans apart the day they brought us here!”

“If I can take their tech that’s fine with me!” 

The third voice came from behind you, revealing the blue-haired Naga you saw shyly poking out that one day. Now he was smiling happily, slithering closer to the other Naga as he looked at your arms. 

“If they did that there’s no way they’ll be living another day.”

A lot of things were being said and they all pointed to an uprising against the scientists. There was just one glaring issue. 

“But why?”

It was like the scratching of a record. They all turned to look at you like you’d grown a second head. Rollo’s face looked almost offended. The blue-haired Naga’s jaw was dropped. Even the one with the horns had his green eyes widened in shock.  You feel your cheeks burn in embarrassment. Closing your eyes to block the image of their judgment being cast. 

Feeling the cool tips of fingers and elongated claws lightly caress your cheek and jaw; tilting your face upward, goading you to open your eyes. Doing so slowly you were face-to-face with the ethereal face of the Naga who healed you. Eyebrows knitted together with sorrow in his eyes, it felt wrong to look away.  

“You are our mate.”

Searching his expression, hoping he’d elaborate it didn’t look like he was going to. 

“Like imprinting?”

Rollo scooched closer to you lightly tugging you from the other Naga’s grip to put you in his own. Nuzzling his nose into your own, holding you firm when you naturally attempted to back away.

“Deeper than that. It’s destiny that you’re mine.”

“Ours.” The black-haired Naga corrected. 

Rollo huffed,” Ours.”

Coming close to him was the blue-haired Naga. Practically snuggling into Rollo’s side he let his tail coil on top of his, lightly shifting you into his hold. Bringing you close to him, he encouraged you to wrap your arms around his neck. Hugging you tightly with his arms you finally got to see his face. Framed by his wild blue tresses, golden eyes, and matching blue lips that were spread in an awkward smile.

“We were waiting for you this whole time.”

“Me? Are you sure?”

Rollo leaned into the blue-haired one this time, batting at some hair that got in his way. Turning to you with a smirk.

“We told you, didn’t we? You are ours. Guess that human side of yours has a problem with accepting the truth.”

Feeling a kiss on your neck, then a nudge of someone resting their head on your shoulder. 

Looking down the Naga’s green eyes practically glowed as he spoke, “Then we will have to fix that. Right, (Y/n)?”

__________________________________________________

“So what’s the plan?” 

After getting some much-needed introductions and a vague talk about the biological herrings of mates. You would like to be the voice of reason when it comes to this uprising they planned to do. 

Malleus took his head off your own to cutely tilt his head, “Plan? Do we need one?” 

Rollo’s claws dug into the sides of his hands which were folded on top of his coils. 

“I was going to just go for the ones that disrespected me the most.”

Idia let out that sound you equated with happiness, now that you could see his blue tail wiggle about in excitement.

“I’m so glad you asked–”

He held nothing back as he rambled on and on about the plan he had. While you were following for the first half you couldn’t keep up after he mentioned opening an interdimensional portal. Feeling the vibrations of laughter on your back you looked to Malleus who was doing just as you felt. Perching his head back on the top of yours, he squeezed you closer to his chest turning his head to whisper just above your ear.

“Can you tell now? We really do need you.”

You couldn’t help to chuckle along with him. Noticing that Idia had run out of breath and was panting over the schematics he’d drawn in the dirt. While Rollo looked disgusted that he was heaving so heavily. Clapping your hands to get their attention they turned to you. 

“Alright, so this is the plan….”

More!