#and who knows I'm probably gonna get flamed for this shit as well

[starry-skies-116]

rejection sensitive dysphoria is such ass... we literally cannot have civilized conversations today because every time I express any sort of political views or defend any sort of point of view I get told that I'm stupid and a terrible person that needs to educate myself.

like sir, I might be luckier than most but I sure ain't had it easy and I still don't so kindly stop talking and go bother someone else-

[shellshocklove]

does anyone know where the love of god goes? | joel miller

pairing/AU: joel miller x female!reader – post breakout & no ellie AU

summary: crossing the country alone as he searches for his brother, joel stumbles on a farm. winter is closing in, and against his better judgement he's convinced to stay. as the frost covers the land like a blanket, a warmth ignites in his heart for the young woman who's home he finds himself in.

warnings: this is an 18+ fic so minors dni!!! canon-typical violence, age gap (reader is mid to late twenties), swearing, dead animals, joel being a sad man, masturbation, no use of y/n

a/n: i soft launched this ao3 last month and it flopped lol so i'm gonna keep my expectations low for this series. anyways this has been a story i've been thinking about since probably october. this is the first part of what i'm hoping will be 3 parts. happy reading i guess

main masterlist / series masterlist / ao3 / playlist

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 this account stands with palestine. the creator of tlou is a zionist, and the second game is largly based on israel/palestine. please, everyone who interacts, educate yourself about the genocide happening right now, and support/donate.

The leaves rustled against Joel’s boots with every step he took. The sun had turned traitor cold, and he couldn’t feel its kiss against his cheek no more. The trees shivered above him in the wind – the only sound for miles except his heavy steps.

Did he still exist, with no one around? Joel had never minded being alone; after the breakout he’d found that he sometimes preferred it. People could be… well, when you’ve seen the worst of humanity, maybe it’s best to leave it behind.

And wasn’t he the worst of humanity? The things he’d done. The people he’d killed, and killed for. The people he’d lost.

But he had to keep going. For Tess. He promised.

Every night as he stared into the flames his thoughts would drift to her – the memories flickering in the fire. They should’ve never gone through that museum – it was supposed to have been empty – they should’ve never left Boston in the first place. Now Tess is gone because of him, him and his stupid plan to find his brother.

And for what? How is he ever gonna find Tommy?

Joel didn’t even know where he was. Nebraska? South-Dakota? Maybe he’d made it to Wyoming and just didn’t know it? Abe had told him ‘Cody Tower’, but Joel hadn’t seen anything other than mother nature for weeks.

Everything had started to look the same. Trees and more trees, a mountain in the distance, a grey and heavy sky above him. He’d been walking for forever. Slowly he moved west– or at least he thought he was. On the days where the sun hung high in the sky and wasn’t shielded behind a cloudy partition, he liked to watch it as it dipped below the earth. As the days turned shorter and shorter, the display of color had started to get more vivid. Joel would watch the light blue turn red and bloody, fiery tongues of flames licking over the horizon while the sharp edges of the mountains, and the triangular shapes of the trees faded into an intense black– like the shape of the mountain and the trees had been cut out with scissors. There wasn’t much to stay alive for anymore– but Joel lived for those few moments where nature painted with fire. Humanity might’ve gone to shit, but the cyclical regularity of mother nature gave Joel a small sense of peace.

But he missed the kiss of the sun against his cheek now. He’d moved into a large forest a few days ago. Tall trees hovered over him like giants and cast shadows down at him. It was colder here than out in the open country, but at least he’d been somewhat shaded from the rain pouring from the grey cover above his head the last few days.

Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

The sound stopped Joel in his tracks. Muscle memory worked on its own, gripping the shotgun slung over his shoulder. He listened for the sound again, to the steady rhythm echoing through the forest.

Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

With slow calculated steps Joel walked in the direction of the sound with the shotgun held tightly to his chest, his finger hovered over the trigger. The chopping sound got louder as he closed in on a man. He couldn’t tell his age with the man’s back turned – but he was strong – Joel could tell from how hard the man’s axe hit the tree trunk.

Taking another silent step, Joel got in position, “How ‘bout you slowly turn around and place that axe on the ground.”

Joel’s voice was hoarse after no use, but still cold and calculated as he spoke his order. He could see he’d startled the man, probably thinking he was alone, just like Joel had thought mere minutes ago.

The man obeyed, turning around slowly. He was older than Joel, maybe mid-seventies, maybe older if the wrinkles and creases around his eyes and nose were to be believed. His hair was white as snow matching his unkempt beard. Joel caught his eye. Strong and steady, no trace of fear one would think a man would feel while having a gun pointed at them.

Joel’s grip around the gun tightened. He wasn’t afraid to pull the trigger if that’s where this was headed. The man watched him calmly before he bent his knees, throwing the axe haphazardly on the ground.

“Kick it over here,” Joel commanded again, and the man obeyed, kicking the axe clumsily towards Joel.

Slowly Joel crept closer, gun still pointed at the man. He locked the heel of his shoe against the shaft, dragging the axe behind him and out of the way.

“Hands where I can see ‘em.”

“Are you going to kill me, son?”

The man’s question puzzled Joel. He said it so calmly, like how you’d ask someone to pass the salt.

“That depends on you.” Joel’s answer pulled at the old man’s lips, a small huff of a laugh escaping them.

“Well, you’re the one with the gun. I think it depends on you.”

Joel tightened his grip on the shotgun again – he didn’t know why –to frighten the man? He didn’t seem very frightened.

“Are you alone?” Joel asked.

“Not anymore,” the man answered.

“Don’t be a smartass,” Joel gritted through his teeth, “who you travelin’ with?”

“No one,” the man’s eyes never left Joel, “I live at a farm about a mile away.”

“Take me to it.”

The man walked with a limp Joel noticed. It was barely there, you wouldn’t see it if you didn’t pay attention, but it was there. The man acted tough enough, but his body revealed his weaknesses. It would be easy to kill him, Joel thought, if it came to that.

He followed the man through the trees with his gun pointed at his back. When they reached the end of the forest a clearing revealed itself. They followed a path through a field of, tall but wilted, brown grass until they reached an overgrown gravel road with a fence running along it. Looking out in the distance, Joel could see small spots of white and black wool. The gravel moaned under their feet as they closed in on a small farm. A two-story house sat in the middle of the barnyard where it was surrounded by a barn who’d seen better days, a silo, and a smaller farmhouse – a stable – Joel noticed as they walked closer.

The man trudged up the front stairs of the main farmhouse, a hand on the handrail keeping him steady.

“Put that gun away would you, son? I don’t want you frightening my wife.” The man broke the silence between them, speaking for the first time since they left the woods.

Joel’s grip on his shotgun didn’t loosen. How could he be sure that this man’s ‘wife’ wasn’t some gang of raiders hiding behind the front door? A question he asked the man through gritted teeth when he turned around to look at Joel.

“There’s nothing of the sort around here,” the man said, “we don’t even see any infected.”

When Joel didn’t say anything, and didn’t lower the gun, the man spoke again, “Who are you?”

“Just someone passin’ through,” Joel answered, making the man chuckle.

“You’re something else, passer-througher,” the old man smiled before he turned around again and stepped inside, leaving Joel on the porch alone.

Abandoned outside he lowered his gun slightly. Inside he could hear muffled voices, a deeper one, definitely the old man, and a brighter one, a woman’s voice. He listened, trying to make out their words with no prevail. The man seemed to have spoken the truth up until now. He most definitely lived on this farm – a seemingly normal farm. This man was just someone making an honest living – even after the apocalypse.

Lowering the gun completely, Joel put the safety on before he slung it over his shoulder. Taking a hollowed step towards the front door, movement in the window to the right of him caught his eye. It was there and then it was gone – just a ruffle of blonde curtains. Then, the door opened revealing an elderly woman.

The man’s wife.

“Welcome, traveler,” she greeted, stepping aside to let Joel in.

He passed through the doorway with a “Thank you, ma’am,” never forgetting his manners even after pointing a gun at her husband.

Inside it looked like a picture taken straight out of a Homes & Gardens magazine. The house was cozy, but it was small. He’d been welcomed into what probably used to be a parlor, but now served its purpose as their living room. It was hard to get a read on the house. Not like those open-floor plan houses he’d built too many of back before the outbreak – this was old, maybe hundreds of years old. The floorboard creaked under his shoes as he walked deeper into the living room, the rest of the house locked away like a secret behind three closed doors. The man was seated in a lounge chair by the fireplace, watching Joel with an expression Joel found it hard to decipher.

“Would you like some tea?” the woman asked, “It’s peppermint from our garden.”

Joel turned his head to the woman. She must be around the same age as the old man, Joel thought. He cleared his throat before he answered with a nod, “Thank you, ma’am.”

She pointed to the sofa, urging him to sit down with a smile before she disappeared through one of the doors to what Joel thought must be the kitchen. He felt the old man watching him as he slid his backpack off his shoulders, placing it on the creaky wooden floor behind the sofa. Joel hesitated for just a second when placing the shotgun up against the back, but decided he wasn’t in any imminent danger.

Joel almost groaned as he sat down. He’d been walking for so long, slept on the hard ground for months, he’d almost forgotten what a comfortable chair was. It almost felt surreal, being invited in for tea, like the outbreak had never happened. Here, it was like the time had stood still.

“So,” the man started, “where are you heading to if you’re just ‘passin’ through’?”

Joel cleared his throat again, “I’m lookin’ for my brother,” he answered truthfully, “last I heard he was somewhere in Wyoming.”

“If you’re going to Wyoming, then what you’re doing all the way up here?” The man queried with a chuckle.

Annoyed, Joel grinded his teeth, “Not many signs in the fuckin’ woods are there?” He huffed.

“I guess not,” the man shrugged, “but you’ve made a heck of a detour… where did you come from? Texas? You sound it.”

“Boston.”

“Boston?” the man didn’t hide his surprise, breathing out chuckles in disbelief, “I’ll give it to you, that’s one long trip.”

Joel only huffed in agreement, turning his head from the man to the window overlooking the barnyard.

“Well,” the man broke the growing silence between the two men, “you’re more than welcome to stay for dinner and for the night– you look like you could need a hot meal and a warm bed.”

Joel’s instinct was to say no, but before he could the front door opened, revealing a young woman. You.

You stopped dead in your tracks as you laid your eyes on Joel, “Oh!”.

The door slammed behind you. Under your arm you were carrying a metal bucket filled with apples. You were beautiful, young, but still beautiful – Joel couldn’t deny it.

“This is…” The man paused.

“Joel.” He cleared his throat, introducing himself, “Joel Miller.”

“Mr. Miller is just passing through– he’s looking for his brother,” the old man explained to you.

You nodded at the information, sat the bucket down before you reached out a hand for Joel to take, introducing yourself. Your hand in his was warm and soft while his own dwarfed yours, rough and calloused. He couldn’t help but think about what his hands had done, the people they’d killed. He shouldn’t be tainting yours, painting them red. Joel quickly drew his hand back, balling it into a fist at his side.

Joel looked over at the old man, “Your daughter?” he asked with a tilt of his head in your direction.

“Oh, no,” the man answered with a playful smile, “You’re not the first person ‘passin’ through’ who’s shown up on our doorstep.”

The door to the kitchen opened to reveal the old woman with a teapot in her hand, and a stacked tower of teacups in the other.

“Let me help you Alma,” you said, taking the teacups from the old woman’s hand before placing them on the table; one in front of Joel, a second in front of the old man, “Here you go Arthur,” and a third next to Joel.

“Did you also want some tea, sweetie?” Alma asked you as she placed the steaming teapot on the table.

“Yes, please, but I can grab a cup myself– sit down,” you smiled and padded the old woman’s shoulder, then you grabbed the bucket of apples and disappeared into the kitchen.

Alma started pouring the tea as a silence fell over the room. A small, “Thank you, ma’am,” left Joel’s lips as she moved on to pouring tea for her husband.

“So,” the man started before taking a sip of his tea, “what do you say Mr. Miller? You staying for the night?”

That night as he laid in a real bed for the first time in months, Joel had trouble falling asleep. He wasn’t used to this. Hadn’t been used to it for a while. His belly full, soft fabric against his skin, feeling warm, and clean. The old couple had offered him one of the two bedrooms on the first floor, the two mystery doors in the living room now revealed. Laying in his new bed he tried not to think about who he was sharing a wall with.

You.

You were something else, helpful and kind. Everything Joel hadn’t seen since the outbreak. At the dinner table you’d asked him questions and listened intently – even when his answers were short and brisk. There was a glimmer in your eye, and it touched something inside him he hadn’t felt in a long time. But you were young, mid to late twenties he reckoned, maybe a little older– anyways, he shouldn’t be harboring anything for you, it wouldn’t be right. Especially now, now that he’d agreed to stay.

After the dinner plates had been cleared, Arthur had folded a big map out on the table. “Here are we now,” he’d pointed a finger at the map. Montana. Southern Montana to be precise. “I’ll give it to you Mr. Miller, if you’ve made it this far on your own you probably won’t have any trouble making your way down south to Wyoming.”

“But?” Joel watched the grimace pulling at the old man’s face.

“But,” Arthur had said, “Winter is just around the corner and… well, going back out there in the wilderness alone during our winters is a dead trap, I’ll tell you that much.”

Joel had let the man go on about the far below freezing temperatures, the heavy snow, and the tough wind, but Joel wasn’t stupid. He knew the winters up here were harsh. It wasn’t even winter yet, but every day he’d felt the temperature drop lower and lower, and the last few of nights he’d even had to get a fire going, against his better judgement.

So– the deal was: Joel would stay over the winter. Just for the winter, he’d been adamant on not staying longer. He’d get a place to stay, a warm bed to sleep in, and food in his belly on one condition – he’d help out on the farm.

The fire crackled loudly, red tongues licking up the chimney as Joel fed it another log. He watched as the fire caught in the new log, devouring it quickly and with no mercy. It was really starting to heat up now. A small flicker of pride sparked in Joel chest. He’d always been good at building a fire. It was one of those things, Joel had come to learn, where you needed to pay attention, to have patience.

When he was younger, he’d take Tommy out camping sometimes, just the two of them. Mostly they’d go during the summer; Tommy wasn’t a fan of sleeping outside in the cold, though cold had meant something different back then in Texas. But Joel remembered one time he’d managed to convince him to go with him. It was right after he’d gotten his driver’s license, and his parents had given him a beat-up truck for his birthday – for sharing – they’d told him, “You need to give your little brother a ride when he needs it!” Joel wasn’t exactly thrilled about his future as Tommy’s private driver, but it didn’t mean he didn’t love his brother.

A few weeks into October he’d managed to convince Tommy to go camping. They’d packed the truck with their tents, sleeping bags, and fishing equipment, before they’d gotten on the road, driving to a lake where they knew there were fish to catch. Finding a place to camp was always difficult with Tommy. They’d parked Joel’s truck at the edge of the forest before they’d followed a hiking trail. Joel was convinced they’d walked at least three quarters of the way around the lake before they found a spot good enough for Tommy.

It had to be flat, but also shielded. There couldn’t be too many rocks, but there also had to be enough rocks to build a hearth. Tommy wanted it to be private, but he also wanted it to be open enough that he could see if someone would stumble upon their camp. Joel knew not to argue with him when he got like that, opting instead for a defeated, “Whatever.”

Setting up camp went relatively easy. They’d worked together building the tents, collecting rocks for their fireplace, and even managed to find a fallen tree to use as a bench. When the night slowly started to cover them in darkness, Tommy decided to get the fire going. Joel watched him work the logs into a pile as he started on filleting the fish they’d just caught.

“You’re doin’ it wrong,” he’d told his brother, “You’re suffocatin’ it.” He’d washed his hands in the lake, ridding himself of the slimy smell of fish, before crouching down next to Tommy.

The fire was one big bowl of smoke, and Joel caught himself wondering what messages Tommy must’ve been sending to the heavens. He removed some of the heavier logs, and the fire could breathe.

“See?” he’d looked at Tommy, “It just needed air.” Joel had shifted the smaller pieces of wood around and not long after the fire was alive.

That Joel, that green boy who liked to take his little brother camping, that Joel didn’t know how much those skills would come in handy in a few years when the world would get turned upside down.

“Do you have any mittens, Joel?”

Your question pulled Joel from his memories. He turned his head slightly, meeting your gaze from where you were huddled up in the corner of the couch. You looked cozy, but he knew you weren’t. The house was cold this morning, outside a thin layer of frost had stuck to the grass during the night. It was early too, the sun not having climbed high enough yet to peek over the mountains. You looked tired where you sat, clad in a wool sweater with a blanket pulled over your knees. Under the blanket Joel remembered you were still wearing your pajama pants, and in your hand you held a steaming cup of tea, peppermint, Joel knew, his own cup abandoned on the coffee table.

“What?” Joel answered, eyebrows furrowed.

“Do you have any mittens, Joel?” you repeated softly, like the way people tended to speak in the mornings, like they were afraid they’d wake up the world.

His calves were starting to burn from the strain of being crouched in front of the fireplace for a moment too long, and he tried his best to hide his groan, biting his teeth together as he stood to his feet, knees cracking loudly.

“Um, no,” he said, confused about your question.

“I’ll knit you a pair then,” you smiled before putting your cup down next to his.

“That’s… that ain’t necessary,” Joel hurried, but you waved him off.

“Sure it is,” you smiled again, much to Joel’s annoyance. He didn’t deserve your kindness, but you gave it away like it cost nothing. “If you’re gonna be helping Arthur out in the woods this winter, you need some mittens.”

Joel watched as you got up from your home on the couch and vanished into your bedroom. A moment later you appeared in the doorway with a basket under your arm.

“Also…” you gave him another smile as you sat back down again, placing the basket in your lap. It was close to overflowing with yarn, balls of black and white in varying sizes peeking over the top, the homespun ends fraying against the rough edges of the basket. “I’ll have something to do during the evenings,” you winked before you rummaged through the basket and fished out a measuring tape.

Joel shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he watched you. Mittens? Joel can’t remember if he’s ever owned a pair of mittens. Gloves, sure, but mittens?

You patted the cushion next to you, urging him to sit down, kind smile hanging off your lips like always. Sitting down, he folded his hands in his lap, suddenly very aware of how close you were sitting. It wasn’t like he hadn’t sat next to you before; he’d been here a few weeks now, and he was starting to know you, but for some reason, this felt different. Maybe it was the early morning, the quiet house, or the fact that Alma and Arthur were still sleeping upstairs, but it felt like it was just the two of you, alone, and Joel didn’t know how to feel about it.

You shifted towards him, the blanket slipping slightly off the couch with your movement, in your hands you held the measuring tape while you looked at him expectantly.

When Joel didn’t move, a smile quirked at the corner of your mouth before you grabbed one of his hands resting in his lap. You uncurled his fingers slowly, one by one, making Joel hold his breath.

“I need to see how big I need to make them,” you whispered, holding his hand very gently.

Joel’s heart hammered in his chest. Your hand was warm and soft, like the last time he’d touched you as you’d introduced yourself to him. Joel didn’t dare look at your face, or he’d say something stupid, so he didn’t. He looked at your joined hands, his brain trying to remember the last time someone had held his hand as gently as you did, your thumb running over the back of it soothingly.

He can’t remember. His hands are always empty.

With your other hand, a finger curled around the measuring tape, you slipped it around his wrist before leaning closer to look at the numbers.

“Is this too tight you think, or do you want them to be looser?” You asked through your lashes, eyes sparkling in the low morning light.

Joel cleared his throat, “No, that’s fine.”

“Okay,” you nodded, slipping the measuring tape from his wrist to write down the measurement. He hadn’t noticed your notebook until now. It was a little rough around the edges from use, the spined cracked and the paper a little yellow. Placing the pen in the seam, you grabbed the measuring tape again.

Loosening your grip on his hand you placed it over the thick of your thigh. Joel drew a quick breath, his heartbeat hammering in his ears, under his hand he could feel the warmth of you through the soft flannel.

You continued taking your measurements. You didn’t say anything, so neither did Joel, but you looked up at him through your lashes sometimes, and Joel thought that maybe the most useful thing one can do with empty hands, is hold on.

The creak of the stair made Joel jump, and like he’d been burned his hand retracted on reflex, as Arthur’s heavy steps got closer.

“Morning,” Arthur greeted as he ducked his head through the door to the living room.

“Mornin’,” Joel mumbled, head lowered as he gathered his hands in his lap.

“Good morning!” you smiled, always with that kind smile, “Did you sleep well, Arthur?” you got up from your seat before grabbing your teacup to follow Arthur into the kitchen, leaving the yarn and Joel.

Taking a deep breath, Joel pinched the top of his nose. He needed to get it together. You were just being your regular kind self; your soft touch was nothing more than that. Standing to his feet, Joel grabbed his own cup, trudging into the kitchen.

In the kitchen Arthur sat in his usual spot at the dining table, the chair closest to the window. “I need to get on with this barn soon,” Joel heard him say as he sat down opposite him. “It’s gonna fall apart come spring if we get as much snow as we did last year.”

Joel tried his best not to look at you as he heard you hum. You were stood at the kitchen counter slicing the bread Alma had baked yesterday, readying breakfast. Instead, Joel opted to gaze down into his teacup, where the peppermint leaves had all gathered at the bottom.

“Um,” Joel cleared his throat, “what needs fixin’?”

“What doesn’t need fixing in that barn?” Arthur sighed, peeling his eyes from out the window to Joel.

“I can uh,” Joel eyes shifted quickly to you before he cleared his throat again, “I can take a look at it, if ya want?”

Arthur’s eyebrows met in a furrow as he looked at Joel.

“I used to be a contractor,” Joel explained with a shrug, before taking a last cold sip of his tea.

“So, you know a thing or two about buildings I reckon?” Arthur asked.

“Yeah, well I used to,” Joel leaned back in his chair.

“Well, that would be very helpful Joel– I’d appreciated it!” Arthur smiled before leaning back in his chair making room for you as you started setting the table. Joel gave him a short nod in return, trying to fight the urge to look at you as you placed the food on the table.

Arthur had downplayed the state of the barn – it was a mess – it was dangerous, and had Joel told him as much. But it was nothing Joel couldn’t fix, as long as he had the right supplies, fortunately for him the forest would provide them with what they needed.

Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

The axe dug a deep wound into the bark with every swing. Joel’s breath was heavy, and his arms ached, but it was a welcomed form of tiredness. A month into it, he was starting to get used to the work. There was something so satisfying about manual labor, of using his hands, of making something – he’d almost forgotten.

The routine of the work felt good. Waking up at dawn, then breakfast, he could use his body for something useful for the first time in twenty years and end the day with a warm meal for supper. This new temporary life was simple, but it was strangely normal.

Originally, Joel was only helping Arthur out in the woods for firewood through the winter– but now with the barn, they’d changed course. The last few days they’d started to become more selective with the trees; looking for the tallest and straightest ones that would fall safely.

A frozen sky hovered over the men as they worked. This morning when Joel had woken up, the thinnest layer of snow had fallen like powdered sugar during the night, turning the world bright with winter. Earlier in the week the frost had perched on the farm, and Joel had known winter was closing in. He’d lost count of the days and months passing while on his own, but Arthur had told him it was late October.

“It will start snowing properly soon,” Arthur said, breaking the silence between them.

Joel hummed before taking a bite of his packed lunch. They’d worked all morning – Joel felling the trees and Arthur cleaning them up and removing the branches. Now they were sat on a fresh tree stump each, their first break of the day.

“I have an old logging sled in the barn– used to be my father’s,” Arthur explained, “I think we should leave the trees here until the snow gets deep enough for the sled and have the horses pull them back to the farm.”

“Fine by me,” Joel took another bite of his lunch.

“The logs will have to dry out over the winter,” Arthur mused, “Then come spring we can start the repairs on the barn.”

Spring. If everything goes according to plan, Joel won’t be here come spring. He needed to find Tommy– he couldn’t, and he wasn’t gonna stay on the farm for any longer than necessary. He’d already decided– when the snow finally started to melt, Joel was gone.

Joel hummed, a non-committed answer. It was easier that way, to not get Arthur’s hopes up. He liked Arthur, he was a good man, a hard worker even in his old age, and silent when Joel wanted him to be. Joel liked Alma too, but her age shined through more easily than Arthur’s. Joel couldn’t help but notice her repeating herself more often and forgetting where she put things. It made life harder for you, Joel could see it. Your responsibilities were already a lot to handle as you took care of the animals mostly by yourself, but as Joel had discovered Alma starting to struggle with the housework, he’d noticed you starting to help her more often. In Joel’s mind it was unfair to you, but it wasn’t like he could blame Alma for growing older, in this world it was a feat.

Still, he’d try his best to help you when he could, like doing the dishes after dinner as you dried them off and put them away. The first few times you were both quiet, it was strangely intimate, only the sound of splashing water filling the space between you. One night he'd gotten brave, breaking the comfortable silence and asked you ‘What you thinkin’ about, sweetheart?’ You’d looked at him with big eyes, searching his own for something, but before he could figure out what it was, you’d answered him with a shrug. It was unlike you, unlike you to be this silent, but Joel didn’t push. The next night the silence persisted, and he’d thought adding ‘Sweetheart’ had been too much, but then the next night you’d sighed quietly and whispered, “I’m worried about Alma.”

Looking down at the mittens in his lap, the guilt gnawed at him. The look of worry in your eyes, Arthur’s hopeful wishes, and Alma’s aging. Joel couldn’t have anything tying him to this place. He was supposed to find his brother.

Suddenly, a black and orange butterfly landed on Joel’s knee. Joel stopped breathing, body going rigid as he tried not to move. How the hell was this butterfly still alive? It sat quiet on his knee, wings slowly retracting and widening behind it. Memories pushed its way to the forefront of Joel’s mind then.

Sarah. Another year had gone by, and the thought made his chest tighten.

“That’s quite a sight at this time of year,” he heard Arthur say, “Beautiful, aren’t they?”

“Y-yeah,” Joel stammered out an answer, afraid his voice would scare it away.

The longer Joel watched the butterfly he found his guilt started to slowly melt away. It’s okay, dad. It was like the rustling of the trees carried her voice with them. You’re on the right path.

“I can do that f’you want, sweetheart.”

Joel’s boots creaked under him as he walked across the barnyard. You looked up at the sound of his voice, smile blossoming across your face as you tightened your grip on the shovel.

“It’s alright,” you said with a grunt as you picked up more snow, adding it to the growing pile, “Good for me to get some physical work in.”

Joel nodded as you straightened up, hand going to your hip while the other leaned on the shovel, your heavy breath curled in small plumes out of your mouth. You took him in for a second, eyes flickering over his form before they fell on the rabbits hanging over Joel’s shoulder.

“Where’d you get those?” you asked, and Joel shrugged.

“Shot ‘em,” he said simply, “they walked right by me as I was choppin’– seemed too good to pass up.”

“Not for the rabbits,” you muttered, and Joel had to fight the urge to smile.

“You a vegetarian or somethin’?” he asked with a single raised eyebrow, and you waved him off.

“No,” you said pointedly, but a teasing lilt lingered, “Just stating a fact... we don’t eat a lot of rabbit around here, is all.”

Joel nodded slightly; it made sense. He knew there was a gun in the house, but it was a revolver– too small to do any real hunting, and Joel didn’t even know if there were bullets for it. So, Joel didn't ask further. Lucky for him, you did.

“So, you just shot those?” you asked, a frown pulling at your eyebrows, “Aren’t they fast?”

Joel made a nonchalant sort of face. “Ain’t that hard when you can aim straight.”

“Well, how do you aim straight?”

“You learn to shoot.”

You let out a small laugh, one that pulled at Joel’s lips. “And how did you go about learning that?”

Joel felt his smile drop, the leather strap of his shotgun weighing heavy on his shoulder, “Practice.”

You didn’t seem to notice the change in his demeanor as you dug the shovel into the snow, so it stood by itself like a watchman. “Can you teach me?” you asked, the snow creaking under your shoes as you took a few steps closer.

His lips pulled at the corner, “No.”

Your eyes widened with disappointment, eyebrows pulling together in a frown as you asked, “Why?”

“Nothin’ good ever comes from it,” Joel shrugged.

“Okay,” you huffed a laugh, “that’s sinister.” Then you narrowed your eyes at him, gearing up for an argument no doubt with the way you rested your hand on your hip. “What if I also wanted to go hunting?” you posed, and Joel shook his head.

“That ain’t happenin’, sweetheart.”

“Okay, but now you’ve brought us rabbits– and what if I end up really liking rabbit?” you bit down on your bottom lip, unconsciously showing off you own rabbit teeth.

Cute.

“Then I’ll shoot as many rabbits as you want,” Joel countered with a teasing smile before tightening his hold on the rope slung over his other shoulder (the one he’d tied the rabbits to), and walked towards the kitchen door at the back of the farmhouse.

He heard you huff in defeat behind him, your creaky steps following him up the stairs and inside. Walking into the kitchen Joel placed the rabbits on the table before he pulled at his mittens, stripped off his jacket, and hung it neatly over the back of one of the dining chairs. Grabbing one of the rabbits he brought it to the kitchen counter to start dressing it, fighting the urge to turn his head as he heard you enter the room.

“Come on, Joel,” you whined, “Why won’t you teach me?”

“Told you already,” Joel replied, “Nothin’ good comes from learnin’ to shoot things.”

Shifting the rabbit around on the counter he reached for the butcher knife in the knife block.

“You know, that’s a really stupid way of saying you don’t want to spend the time,” you told him, your voice closer now as you leaned against the kitchen counter.  

“When exactly did ya hear me sayin’ I don't wanna spend time with you?” Joel asked, his eyebrows pulled together in a frown.

“You won’t teach me to shoot,” you teased, and Joel could hear the smile in your voice.

Joel huffed out a laugh, “Damn right I won’t.”  

He heard you let out a whiney huff, before you turned on your heel, muttering out a curse under your breath when you accidently bumped your hip into the counter and Joel couldn’t help the smile teasing at his lips. You sat down with an overdramatic sigh, and Joel still didn’t look at you – he knew he’d cave eventually if he did, say yes against his better judgement – so he kept his eyes on the knife in his hand.

“How’s Arthur?” Joel asked as he worked.

“I don’t know,” you sighed, “The same I think– Alma was up there looking after him last time I checked.”

This time Joel allowed himself to look at you. You sat sideways on the wooden chair, legs crossed and tucked under your chair with your head hanging, eyes glued to your lap. Gone were the teasing, and gone were the smiles.

“He’ll be fine,” Joel said, his eyes back on the rabbit, “it’s just a cold.”

“Yeah… but he’s been getting sick a lot more often,” your voice was low, like you didn’t want them to hear you upstairs, “you can’t help but think the worst you know?”

Joel put the knife down and moved over to the sink. He quickly washed his hands before grabbing a towel to dry off, twisting it in his hands as he approached you. Placing the towel on the counter, he hesitated for a moment as he watched you, watched the way you twisted your hands in your lap with no sense of purpose or intent. It was like the worry dripped down your body. Pushing off the counter Joel knelt in front of you, a grunt escaped him as his knees clicked loudly, his balance slightly off on his haunches.

“Shit,” Joel huffed out a laugh, and you followed. Your palms landed on his knees to keep him steady, warmth spreading like jolting electricity.

“Sweetheart, I’ll tell you what–” he stopped himself when you looked at him through your lashes, trying to ignore the way your eyes focused on his mouth as he spoke. “’s just a cold, he’ll be up ‘n walkin’ tomorrow– man’s got gumption.”

“Yeah?” your eyes flickered upwards, meeting his.

Suddenly, under your gaze Joel felt brave. His hand moved on its own accord, cupping your cheek in his hand. He let his thumb ghost over your skin, still cold under his fingertips from being outside, but warming under his touch.

“Yeah, sweetheart.”

You didn’t say anything for a moment, you only watched him with glimmering eyes, like you were under a spell. Maybe he was too.

“Still,” you sighed, “Would be better if I could pick up more of the slack around here... Arthur does a lot, and I wish I could do more to support them.”

“Like what? You take care of the animals all by yourself– that’s more than enough.”

“Well, I could learn to shoot rabbits,” you told him, before the corners of your mouth pulled into a pleased smirk as he rolled his eyes at you.

Reluctantly, he pulled his hand away, making a move to stand when you grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“I’m kidding, Joel,” you smiled, before a more serious look washed over your features. “I mean it’s… It’s gonna be empty here without you,” you said, “I’m starting to really like having you here, Joel.”

Joel turned his hand to rest the back of it on your thigh, your hand fitting in his.

“I uh,” his eyes fixated on your joined hands, then he cleared his throat, “I’ll stay as long as you need me to. I’m not leavin’ you alone, sweetheart.”

Your eyes lit up at his words, smile growing large across your face. Joel’s heart drummed in his chest as your eyes flickered down to his mouth again.

“Thank you,” you said in a low voice, and then you did something Joel thought was gonna make his heart stop beating. You leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. It bloomed against his skin, and made wings flutter against the walls of his stomach.

“You’re a good man, Joel Miller,” you whispered before you pulled away, looking at him with kindness in your eyes.

If only you knew, Joel thought, if only you knew the blood on his hands.

He couldn’t look at you when you looked at him like that. Like you believed your own words. So, he cleared his throat awkwardly and stood to his feet, his knees clicking as your hand slipped from his movement. He walked back to the counter, fingers grabbing the towel with no other purpose than to calm himself down.

After placing the towel back where it usually hung, he grabbed the knife again, turning his attention back to the rabbit, allowing himself to steal a few glances at you where you sat looking out the kitchen window.

“Hey, uh,” Joel broke the growing silence after a few minutes, “how ‘bout rabbit stew for lunch?”

Your head snapped to look at him as he spoke, a smile ghosting over your lips as you said, “I’ll go get some vegetables from the cellar.”

Joel wouldn’t necessarily call himself a good cook – he wouldn’t even call himself a cook in the first place. Back before the outbreak he’d been forced to learn the basics as a fresh single dad, but he’d never been able to provide Sarah with gourmet meals very often, and when Sarah had gotten older, he’d been embarrassed to say that her food was always better than his – eggshells and all. One summer he’d bought himself a nice grill– one of those way too expensive gas grills with too many fancy accessories for Joel to regularly use. He’d had a job that ended up paying well, some rich guy’s mansion that needed renovating, and decided to treat himself for once. That summer all their meals had come from that grill, well mostly, and afterwards Joel looked at himself as a pretty good griller, if nothing else.

You on the other hand, you knew what you were doing, it was clear in the effortlessly way you moved beside him as you got the vegetables ready for the stew. Joel seared the meat to the best of his abilities, making sure it was properly browned on both sides before setting it aside. After that, it was clear that you were in charge, and Joel let you boss him around and tell him what to do. It made his heart warm around the edges, watching how you put so much love and care into everything you did.

An hour later you finally sat down to eat; two hearty bowls of stew each as light snowflakes covered the world outside. You’d let the pot simmer on low over the heat as you’d wanted to bring up a bowl for Arthur and Alma later.

“So…” you started, watching as Joel dug into his bowl, “How’s the stew?”

“’s good!” Joel nodded through a mouthful, and he wasn’t lying. It was good, really good in fact.

“Yeah?” you bubbled through a smile, before you dug into your own bowl to see if he’d spoken the truth. He watched as you face brightened as you chewed, nodding your head to confirm his verdict.

“I think I really like rabbit, Joel,” you said through a teasing smile, and Joel couldn’t fight the chuckle from spilling.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, teasing smile not going anywhere, “So… when are you teaching me to shoot?”

“Shut up.”

The living room was quiet, safe for the cracking of the fire. It had almost died out when Joel had stepped out of his room. He’d been twisting and turning again, counting sheep, but nothing had been able to pull him under the blanket of sleep. He was plumb tired too, that was the worst part. The embers hummed with a low light, and with a small stick Joel had spread them out before placing a small piece of wood on top. No less than a minute later the fire fed on the log.

Taking a seat and leaning back in the lounge chair, Joel looked out the window with tired eyes. The moon looked down on him, big and bright, it shone its white light over the barnyard like a spotlight. His thoughts were clouded over as he gazed up. A billion little lights turning into bright spheres in the sky.

On nights like this, Joel felt like he was barely breathing at all.

His thoughts didn’t stray for long before they found you again. Lately, you were always on his mind. He thought about how you’d looked mere hours ago, when he’d sat in this same exact chair, only this time it was facing towards the sofa and not the window.

You’d been sat curled up in the corner, blanket thrown over your lap with a book in hand. You’d told him you’d read all the books in the house already, but it didn’t stop you from coming back to your favorites. Joel had been reading his own book, an old western he’d found in the bookshelf in the upstairs hallway a few days ago. It was entertaining, but not enough to hold his attention. He found his eyes had a mind of their own, slipping over the top to steal a peek at you as you read, feeling a smile tug at his lips at the barely there furrow of concentration between your eyebrows.

“Joel.”

Joel perked up at the whisper of his name, the memories fading like ripples in still water. He looked around the room –nothing. He sat quietly in his chair for a moment, listening, as his heartbeat quickened in his chest. It had been your voice, hadn’t it? Or was he starting to lose it? His eyes fell to the door of your bedroom. He hadn’t noticed it until now, but he could see it was slightly ajar.

“Joel.”

The voice was louder this time, almost strained, but it was yours. A thousand scenarios flashed before his eyes then at your tone. Was there someone in your room? Were you in danger? Seconds later Joel crossed the room, a mix of fear and protectiveness overcoming him.

Leaning up against your door he listened for the intruder as he readied himself. The soft crinkling of your sheets combined with your strained whimpers was all it took for him to push the door open, fearing the worst.

And…

It was empty, your room, you were alone. Joel immediately felt stupid– the only intruder here was him.

He was about to step out, embarrassed at his actions, when he heard it again, his name falling from your lips. It was all Joel needed to finally take in your body, squirming under your sheets, still asleep. The realization of what he’d just walked in on made Joel’s eyes widen.

Laying on your back, the duvet had slipped down your torso from your movements to reveal the thin t-shirt you wore to bed. Like this he could see your perked nipples through the fabric, as your chest quickly rose and fell, making Joel’s imagination start to run wild.

“Joel.”

In his pajama pants, Joel could feel his cock come alive from the soft whimper that left your lips along with his name. He couldn’t move, like some farm elf had glued his feet to the floor while he wasn’t looking. He watched as you scrunched your face together in pleasure, another whimper falling from your lips, and all the blood in Joel’s body rushed down south.

As if the soundwaves from your voice had broken against him, he took a step backwards, and then another, and another until he crossed the threshold of your door. He tried his best to be quiet, to not wake you and have you catch him in your room in the middle of the night.

The image of you squirming under your sheets, dreaming of him, didn’t leave him as he closed the door to his own room. With a sigh his head fell against the door, a strong hand gliding down his front to hover over his aching cock.

Joel Miller was no saint, but what he was doing– what he was about to do, was bad.

“Shit,” he quietly hissed, running his hand up his clothed cock. He hadn’t touched himself properly in a long time, not since he left Boston.

His cock reacted to his touch, growing harder and harder until he couldn’t take it anymore. He hooked his finger around the hem of his pajama pants, pulling them down to the thick of his thigh, freeing himself. He hissed at the cold air hitting his length, as it bopped with the movement of being freed. Bringing his hand to his mouth, Joel spat, before he wrapped his spit-soaked hand around himself.

His mind found you again as he started stroking himself, slowly at first, pumping himself with a practiced hand, squeezing himself at the base before bringing his hand up to thumb at the tip. Joel couldn’t get the way you sounded out of his mind. Couldn’t forget how you were squirming in your bed, dreaming of him. Couldn’t shake the thought of pulling those moans and whimpers from you with his hands, and his mouth, and with his cock.

“Fuck.”

Joel tried to be quiet, but he couldn’t fight the moan from slipping from his lips. Fuck, he wanted you. He wanted his hands all over you. Closing his eyes his mouth dropped open as he imagined what he was dying to do to you.

How much he’d wanted to help you out of your t-shirt, run his hands over your breasts and tease your nipples. Take his time to pull those moans and whimpers from your soft lips as he teased you with kisses down your body, down the valley of your breasts, your tummy, down to you to your–

Another low moan fell from Joel’s lips. He squeezed himself tighter as he jerked himself off, precum pearling at the tip, and slipping down his length, mixing with his spit.

The sound of the slick rhythm of his hand filled his bedroom as he increased the pace of his strokes. He had to bite down on his lip to strangle a groan when thoughts of getting between your legs, spreading them open and getting his mouth on you filled his head. He fantasized about how you’d taste falling apart on his tongue–Fuck, how you’d sound falling apart around his cock.

His eyes fell shut as he fisted himself faster. Joel could feel his orgasm quickly building, coiling tight in his tummy. With his free hand he cupped his balls, and then he couldn’t help but imagine it was you, a picture of you on your knees before him flashed behind his eyelids, your tongue lapping at his balls while your hand pumped his cock.

“Shit.”

With a strained groan, thick ropes of cum spilled over his knuckles and down his length, coating him in his release. His breath came out ragged, as he continued his strokes, milking himself of the rest of his release.

Fuck.

His cock softened in his hand as he calmed down from his high. With a quiet groan he pushed himself off the door, looking around his room for something to clean himself up with.

The guilt of what he’d done washed over him quickly, settling in his chest like a heavy weight. You were so young, and beautiful, and Joel just an old man. He shouldn’t want you like this, shouldn’t want you this much.

Climbing under the covers, Joel couldn’t shake his thoughts of you, of you dreaming about him in your bed, about your smiles, and your touch. A supercut of you rolling like a tape in his minds eye. A supercut of you bundled up under a blanket on the sofa, knitting him his mittens. Of you, your own knitted hat pulled tightly down over your ears as you stepped out into the snow to check on the animals. Of the way you’d looked at him for the first time, with the bucket of apples under your arm, and the sweet taste of them as you’d offered him one later, after dinner.

Finally, Joel could breathe.

next part -> here! i hope someone liked this? if you did a comment, reply or an ask is always welcome and they make me super happy <3 other than that thank you for reading!!

© shellshocklove, 2024 i do not give any permission to repost, translate, feed to AI or redistribute any of my writing, with or without credit!

[porcelain-gal]

NOT-SO-SMALL RANT ABOUT THE SHIFTING COMMUNITY this has been pissing me off for some time now so i'm going to yap about it and if you don't agree w/ me, feel free to block me! also please note that this is just a general rant and isn't targeted at any specific individual(s) because i've been seeing this on here and in other shifting communities.

this is going to be the laaaast time i talk about this because i don't want to be know for complaining all the time anymore LMAOAO! anyways allow me to start by saying this. if what someone's doing in regards to shifting isn't harmful, bigoted, racially insensitive, or truly problematic and it doesn't affect you, stop being an annoying piece of shit and judging people for what they do with the realities they shift to ESPECIALLY if you can't handle/don't like it being done to you. you do not get to judge and dictate what people do in their lives, who they shift for, why they shift, what wording they use in terms of shifting, nothing.

YOU DON'T GET A SAY IN THE HARMLESS SHIT SOMEONE ELSE DOES IN THEIR LIFE JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

and yes i get that there's certain stuff that's just based off of morality and culture and history, i'm not talking about that because i too am personally very sensitive about that stuff for reasons of my own. i'm talking about some of you who judge shifters for wanting to shift to have consensual sex with legal adults as a legal adult in that reality. or some of you who judge people for having multiple partners because you just can't seem to wrap your head around it or simply choose to be ignorant. or some of you who even judge people because they script that they get attention and that they're smart and pretty. because think about it.

what does any of that have to do with you?

you act like YOU'RE gonna be the one living their life when you're not. many of you judge people for shit and you don't even know how they perceive it yet you're too close-minded to even think outside of your own head and consider their thought process. many of you seem to forget that you are shaming someone's entire lives for miniscule shit. like these are their LIVES. and not to mention, many of you claim that "don't mean to judge" but just because you say that you're not judging doesn't mean that you're not being judgmental. the shit you say can still be offensive or demotivating or just straight up bigoted/prejudice to the people you're talking about when you could've just kept it to yourself.

imagine if a straight person came online and said that they didn't like when queer people spoke about their queer experiences/partners/whatever because it made them uncomfortable and they couldn't relate but "they aren't judging, they just don't agree with it?" you see how fucked that sounds? well you probably don't because you're doing the exact same thing just in a different community about different shit, all of which ain't got nothing to do with you.

how would you feel if someone on this app started bashing you for who you shift for and saying that shifting for this person was so stupid and going into detail about how fucking lame you are? you wouldn't like it right? because that's your partner and you love them, right? so why the fuck do you think you can do that to other people? seriously, it's starting to get very fucking ridiculous.

please just think before you start judging people for harmless shit because they might turn around and do the same shit to you or call you out for not minding your own business and now you're all offended and getting flamed for being an asshole. and if you truly just need to talk shit about someone's life, maybe get some friends who share your values and talk privately instead of putting everything on the internet. now go shift! <3

SINCERELY, A Serial Yapper with A Lot To Say

[neuroticbookworm]

Immersing the audience into the stressors, politics and dynamics of a typical workplace is something The Trainee consistently does very well. And this week I was feeling every bit of the angst Jane was feeling over his career path so far, and his doubts, deliberations, and regrets.

The episode opened with the interns discussing how much they've grown over the internship, both personally and professionally, and it cleanly tied into Jane looking back at his internship days, and wondering why he has not gotten the director gig he so clearly wanted from the very beginning.

It was a bit jarring to see intern Jane quiet and subdued in the background while Nine was busy working his corporate flattery. Current Jane is so competent that he had us all drooling for him in the past episodes, but he would've also started out as a green intern. I'm happy that we got to see that Jane did grow as a professional in this AD job, even though it was not something he wanted to do. It was heartbreaking to see him compare himself to Nine, but it was also liberating to see him pack up the boxes. Past Jane accepted the AD job despite not wanting it, but he also grew enough for present Jane to know his worth and leave his unfulfilling job behind.

We got to see Jo give excellent advice to Pah just a couple weeks ago, and now today we saw him hold back Jane from pursuing a job he wanted, just because he thought Jane would be a better fit in a different role (@lurkingshan goes into detail here). He failed to communicate his feedback to Jane, or reconsider and promote him to director after a couple years. This was infuriating to watch but it is unfortunately very realistic. Competent yet complaisant people often get pushed into unforgiving roles and tasks. Being unapologetically loud is the only way to break out of these roles.

Workplaces and bosses who undervalue and hold back their most competent employees will always exist, and I am happy that the show modelled how one can realize their worth and grow their self-confidence to make the decision to leave a deadend job behind. I am so excited for the finale, to watch Jane walk out a workplace that heavily relied on his talents, while constantly shit talking him behind his back. I am extra excited to watch Jane flame Nine's ass for being stealing sack of shit. And I will kiss this show on the mouth if Jane tells Nine he's probably on a fast track to jail time because his untalented ass is gonna have to keep stealing to stay afloat, and someday a bigger fish is not gonna be amused by this behaviour and legally tear his ass to shreds.

[stealingpotatoes]

can we get a rundown on the anakin-raises-leia au? i’m totally in love with (read: obsessed with) it but i missed most of the context and i’m so curious!

are they coparenting? was it a parent trap style agreement to split the twins? is it temporary, until the war ends? who decided who gets which twin? did mustafar just never happen?

the answers to ur questions in short are: not really, arguably, absolutely, i did, and no!

in longer, the main thing you need to know for context is it's an Anakin-doesn't-turn-to-the-darkside-but-Palps-still-succeeds AU!

Anakin chooses not to try save Palpatine from the Jedi council and instead goes to Padmé's to angst abt the fact he might be losing her -- only to feel a very solid Other loss in the Force and see the temple up in flames ): he tries to go help but gets his shit kicked enough he leaves when Bail shows up

obi-wan and yoda both return to coruscant, obi-wan shows up to Padmé's to ask her hey do you know where Anakin is??? except Padmé's not there either bc after Sidious made his Big Speech anidala realised Anakin's totally a fugitive so they decided to Leave

i'm not 100% on what happens around here (lbr we all know my focus is the kids) but i'm currently thinking they nearly get caught or smthn, fight happens (??), Obi-wan gets there just in time to help thanks to Dormé snitching -- and Padmé goes into labour w the shock/stress

whatever exactly happens, Obi-Wan is there when they get Padmé to a medical station and the normal rots ending group unite. Padmé gives birth (keeping her will to live) and a question hangs heavy in the air: what are they supposed to do with the twins?

Anidala are too caught up in the joy of being parents to think about it, but they're quickly and forcibly snapped out of that when the Survivors all have a chat like canon. Yoda's the (brave) one to say they need to be apart because their force signatures would be too strong together and in the dire case Palps finds them, he could NOT take both. He's probs initially like they shouldnt even be kept w you two, Anakin's too powerful himself and Padmé you're too visible (while I imagine Bail and Obi-wan know their respective besties and are like king they are NOT gonna take that well)

and theyre right! Padmé, fresh out of like three of the top ten most harrowing experiences of her life, is like stfu u little green bitch im not losing my kids. but after some convincing she sees the need for her to remain in the senate and anakin's need to fight/run. she knows they can't fight the empire effectively together and she knows it's too dangerous to put the twins together. both parents want more than ANYTHING to be with their kids -- but they also don't want their kids growing up in a galaxy eaten by tyranny or being stolen by palps.

so they made the hardest goddamn decision of their lives and each take a twin (probably chosen on "anakin thought the baby'd be a girl/padme thought it'd be a boy" or smthn) and after some time planning their next moves, Padmé and Anakin are forced to go their separate ways to save the galaxy for and with their kids ): knowing the better they fight, the sooner they free the galaxy from the empire's clutches, the sooner they can reunite and be a family

[threepandas]

Sun Burnt: Part 3

When a legendary hitman Eye Threatens to break both your fucking legs?

They Are Not Joking.

FUCKING OW.

Still! Jokes on HIM! I'm in to that sh-! Wait, no, not the time for memes! Or is it jokes? Irrelevant! I can still fuckin RUN, is the thing. Sucks to SUCK, Sun boy! Us Lightnings are BUILT DIFFERENT!

And I BETTER not hear any snide "yeah I BET they are" from the peanut gallery!

My Flame type ROCKS! I am a TAZER who can put my fist through WALLS. Stand dead center of a road and just? Fuckin TANK a speeding car! Can YOU? Didn't THINK so! Lightning supremacy! One of you fuckers gimme a highfive! HELL YEAH!

But also? Like... I take back EVERYTHING I ever said about the Carcassa.

ALL OF IT.

They are the GEMS of the Mafia. The SHINING HEARTS of raw compassion! Skull-sama's willingness to PERSONALLY piss off The "I AM The Dread God Lesser Deity's Fear" Reborn? An inspiration to us all. I... I would steal for this man. Like? For FREE. Not DIE for him or anything, God no, but? I would steal really REALLY expensive shit for him!

The man's an absolute mad lad. A LEGEND.

I will NEVER forget this... assuming I survive.

Because somehow HE already has my name, face, and multiple alias plastered OUT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE. Ha ha... oh god. Thaaaaat is a bounty. BIG bounty. Lots of zeros. G...gonna die.

My phone chimes.

"You know exactly who this is. Pick up." The screen reads, right before it rings.

HA HA, NOPE!

I stand, well more like shoot to my feet, from my seat on the ground. Quuuuick steps too the blimp windows. Wrench those open. Sim card out! Crush the phone. AND YEET!!! BeGONE DEMOOOON!

We shall NOT be engaging with The Devil today! No Sir!

.....Skull's phone starts ringing.

I whine like a cornered animal. So... this is what a real life horror movie feels like. NEAT. I hate it! I watch, probably shaking, as Skull-sama casually drags out his phone. Glances down at it. Then over his shoulder at me. He doesn't even fully turn his head. Just one Cloud flame purple eye that seems to light up from within.

He's a happy go lucky guy. Cool dude. But like all Clouds? Fucking HATES cages. Being or SEEING other imprisoned. Trapped. Cornered and forced to do something against their will. And as the planet's STRONGEST Cloud?

He's always had exactly zero problems telling Reborn to fuck off to his face. Even when it gets him shot at. Everyone knew that.

"Sempai! Calling the GREAT Skull De Mort just to CHAT~♡? I KNEW you loved me BESTEST!" He PROJECTS into the phone, his speaking cadence shifting.

He'd been gregarious, bombastic even, the whole time I'd been on board. The sort of guy you can't help but want to buy street food with and check out some weird local sight you heard about. The guy that turns an event into a PARTY. A get together into a memory you TREASURE. Larger then life and unashamedly so.

But this? THIS was the SHOWMAN.

And this was the Showman being Obnoxious and MEAN.

Loud, intentionally grating voice. No break in the endless flood of mind numbing chatter that went no where. Bellowing cackling that even the best of speakers would be hard pressed to handle. Standing near machines and windows so the background noise garbled EVERYTHING.

Let no one say Clouds are not PETTY.

"Hmmmmm~? Your WHAT? Sempai! Don't be SILLY! You can't OWN people! That's SLAVERY! It's against~...!" He turned, leaning like a rock star of old against some navigation compartment. Casually examining his nails with a MEAN and wolfish smile on his face. "Waaaaa! Don't be maaad~ Don't be MAAAAAD~!! You know I'd NEVER lie to YOU, Sempai! I'd never DARE! I promise I'll keep a look out, m'kay? What? Don't hang up? Sorry! Can-KRRRRSHK! n't quite KKKKKRRRRRSK! Heeeeear yoooouuuuu~☆!"

Click.

He casually tossed his phone to one of his men. Ignored it even as it rang and rang. With an excited clap of his hand, he hopped up, out of his loose legged splay to stride over. According to him? We should eat! Have I had Burmese food? It's delicious! One of his guys just got "into" the whole cooking thing! So everyone is being supportive!

I can't help but laugh. Everyone politely ignores how wet it is, as Skull-sama throws an arm over my shoulders and drags me from the cockpit.

I know I'm not safe. But for now? Fuck it. Good enough. Maybe Skull-sama knows someplace Reborn might not IMMEDIATELY find me. And who knows? When this all blows over? Maybe I should join up with his crew. Reborn can't be THAT obsessed. Right? It was just the initial harmony high. With no Sky to actually bind us, he'll lose interest.

Behind me... the phone rings.

And rings.

And RINGS.

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

Seven Sentence Sunday

Thank you for the tag, @honeybee-taskforce @welcometololaland 💝

(Yes I'm aware this is more of a so much more than seven sentences Sunday but I couldn't decide where to cut this lol)

cw; blood

This is from the next chapter of my TK and Sophie fic -

2011 -

“Don’t listen to him,” Sophie said as soon as their dad was out of earshot. “It’s so not a big deal”.

TK fiddled with his ear anxiously. “It’s a hell of a thing to do for the jackass who stole your money and ruined your birthday, Soph”.

“You didn’t ruin my birthday,” his sister shrugged. “When we were on the roof, you woke up. If you hadn’t… well, that would have ruined it”.

“Still”. TK sighed, sidestepping that entirely in favor of saving his self-loathing for later. “I don’t want you to get in trouble on my behalf. I love you for doing that,” he added. “But… you getting into trouble isn’t going to get me out of trouble. And it won’t get me home any faster”.

“I know that, stupid,” Sophie rolled her eyes, keeping to herself the not-so-itsy-bitsy part of her that did hope if she reclaimed her spot as the Bad Child, then they would let TK come home early. “But I can’t listen to people say shit about you that isn’t true”.

“They’re gonna say it anyway,” TK told her. “I was hearing it when I was still there. And I don’t want your hands to look like that because of me,” he said as he looked at her heavily bandaged knuckles.

“These?” Sophie snorted as she looked down at her hand. “I don’t even need these. They’re just cause Dad overreacted”.

“Not true, first of all,” Owen said as he rejoined them.  “Second of all, this happened when your sister was in class”.

“Daddy, you think you’re making too big a thing of this?” Sophie asked. “I mean, you were young once. Probably. At some point”.

“I don’t think it’s possible to make too big a thing of this, Sophie Soph,” Owen replied. “And I did things as a kid. But they weren’t mash-your-knuckles-on-someone-else’s-until-they-bleed… things”.

“Bloody knuckles?” TK guessed. “Soph, you were playing bloody knuckles in class?”

“How do you know what that is, TK?” Owen asked.

TK nibbled on his lip. “I may have… dabbled in it once or twice after school”.

“Told you it wasn’t just me”. Sophie preened. “Besides, it’s Ms. Christensen’s own stupid fault. She said she wasn’t going to put all the stupid kids in one group anymore when we worked on vocab words, because we don’t get anything done”.

“You aren’t stupid, Soph,” TK and Owen said in stereo.

“But she put me and Carter in the same group anyway,” Sophie continued, undeterred. “And Micah and Spencer were writing out definitions and Carter asked if I wanted to play bloody knuckles, what was I supposed to say?”

“I really think a simple no would have been good,” Owen answered.

“Did you win?” TK asked.

“TK!” Owen admonished.

“I did”. His sister happily nodded. He flinched first. And his knuckles started bleeding way before mine did”.

“Soph, I think that’s a game where there are no winners,” Owen told her.  

No pressure tagging - I tag @sznofthesticks @anewkindofme @carlos-in-glasses @kiankiwi

@lemonlyman-dotcom @heartstringsduet @actualalligator @chaotictarlos

@liminalmemories21 @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @literateowl @terramous

@nancygillianmvp @chicgeekgirl89 @firstprince-history-huh @reyestrandd

@paperstorm @bonheur-cafe @carlos-tk @herefortarlos

@alrightbuckaroo @snowviolettwhite @the-flaming-nightmare @lochnesswriter

@fallout-mars @vineofroses @theghostofashton @goodways

@eclectic-sassycoweyes @ladytessa74 @lightningboltreader @freneticfloetry

@jesuisici33 @mikibwrites @doublel27 @basilsunrise

@rmd-writes @celeritas2997 @safeaswrites @decafdino

@thebumblecee @sugdenlovesdingle @birdclowns @welcomehometk

@tellmegoodbye @mooshkat @tailoredshirt @thisbuildinghasfeelings and anyone else who wants to do it - open tag 🫶

[3cremepie3]

Explode

Synopsis- After exploding out on Idia he tries to make it up to you. So you chose to have some fun time in the shower. Idia x fem reader!

A/n - since I didn’t write for Idia the last time here’s something to make up for it. Enjoy and reblog pls!

Warnings - public sex, shower sex, squirting, use of the word sir, babe, slightly toxic relationship, switch reader/ switch Idia, challenges, possessive ness, deep throating

“I’ll do anything Y/n just put the hammer down!” Please you know it took me years to build that. I could probably buy you 5 times over with the amount I spent on it.” He was rambling on and on about his precious PC Al while frantically trying to grab the object from your hand.

“You should’ve thought of that when I asked you to house-sit.” Now ramshackle doesn't have a functioning kitchen or downstairs bathroom.” I didn’t mean to burn it down it was already falling apart anyways you should thank me!

“Thank you? For what Idia now I have to stay in your dorm filled with must buckets.” Before this, I was already stressed having to deal with these people that don’t give a clear shit about my well-being and living in that busted down shack.” I-I care about you, he pleaded.

“Then why couldn’t you spare me a glance.��� You know the season just came out today it’s nothing personal,” he shrugged. “You being here is cool and all but I have to grind.” You know Idia you’re talking real nonchalantly for someone who’s in a bad situation.”

You pointed to his pc. “I’ll just get it fixed afterward I forgot I brought that back up hard drive a while back.” You dropped the hammer on the ground defeated. You dug in your pocket before handing Idia his key. “Guess I won’t be needing this anymore,” you sighed.

“Don’t tell me you’re trying to leave,” he frowned. “Yes, I was invited to stay at scarabia for the time being.” I'm sure Kalim would be great company unlike someone,” you bragged. You couldn’t see it since you were at the doorway of his room but the tips of Idia’s hair began to turn red.

“No, you will not,” he grumbled. “Why shouldn’t I, you have been ignoring me this whole time.” Idia would hate to admit it out loud but he was possessive you were the best thing to happen to him why would you need to go see other people? Especially that party animal that would have you staying up till the crack of dawn.

You where supposed to stay up till 3 with him playing multiplayer mode. “I need to socialize Idia. I felt like I haven’t talked to anyone in days.” You can talk to me.” He got up to pulling you away from the doorway. You tried to hold your own and stay on the ground but he lifted you up. You landed on his bed with a thump.

“Come on say anything I’ll accept it.” He laid on top of your chest rubbing circles on your stomach. You grabbed his hand stopping him. “That kinda tickles,” you giggled. He brought his other hand to your plush and started again. “Ah,” you exclaimed as your body squirmed. “Idia pls… wait!” You begged tears beginning to form in your eyes.

“Fine I’ll spare you mercy but you have to stay here with me.” He looked quite sad when he asked so you sat up taking his lanky hand. “Okay baby I will.” You confirmed patting his head. “But there is one thing I need since you dragging me over here got me a lil horny.” Sometimes I like it when you take control,” you admitted.

“That’s all it takes y/n,” he scoffed. “Don’t complain Idia thanks to someone I’m a little touched starved.” Fine then.” He rolled his eyes before his hands traveled up your back unclasping your bra. His cold hands sent chills up your spine and your nipples hardened.

“Not here,” you remembered. “Huh?” Where are you taking me,” he asked. “Let’s fuck in the shower!” You are way too excited for this.” He grumbled as you took him to the showers.

“Fuck my flames are gonna dwindle,” he hissed. “You should’ve been smart like me.” You pointed at your shower cap that was protected your curls. “Be quiet we can’t get caught.” You reminded him as you palmed his cock. The warm water hit your back sliding down the remainder of your body.

He walked back as far as he can hitting and gripping the wall. You stood watching his reactions as he trembled. “Fu-uck Y/n,” he muttered. The water helped your hand pump him better. Your other hand fondled his balls which was his weak spot.

“I’m gonna get you back for this,” he grunted. You laughed at his state crouching down so you could suck him off. “Mmm,” you smiled before taking him in. “That smirk don’t tell me you like teasing me this much.” You got off his cock with a pop sound. “I don’t like it… I love it,” you confirmed.

“Stupid slut.” He cussed before shoving you back down onto him. Your nose was at the base of his cock as you began choking. You tapped his thigh needing air. He let you off him still holding your neck with a harsh grip. Water and drool flowed down your face and his cock as you deep-throated him.

“Your mouth feels so good… too good,” he groaned. “Keep it down,” you tried your best to muffle a sound. “You're not quiet yourself Y/n.” You could probably hear your gagging in another dimension.” Maybe that’s cause someone’s being so rough!” You managed to choke out.

“Just shut the fuck up.” He pulled you back in him groaning loud until he heard shuffling outside the shower. “I think someone’s here!” You separated from him coughing quietly. He was right someone was there. “Idia,” Ortho called out. “What should we do Y/n.” Tell him that you are here,” you whispered and yelled. “I’m here Ortho.” Okay, I just didn’t see you in your room so I was curious.” Is there anything you need,” Ortho asked.

“No please leave!” Oh okay, see you later.” Orthro sounded kinda bummed,” Idia pointed out. “He’ll be aight now fuck me pls!” I’m tired of sucking you off your supposed to be servicing me.” Fine come here.” He made you wrap your leg around his waist. You held onto his shoulders for support.

“Don’t let your knees give out.” He warned before his fingers began to play with your puffy clit. “Mmm, not.” You whined into his neck. Your whimpers made his dick impossibly harder he couldn’t help but grind it on your soft thighs. By now the water began to cool ushering you two into a corner.

Finally, his fingers prodded at your hole. But your satisfaction soon left. “Stop teasing me you asshole,” you sucked your teeth. “That’s not the way you ask for more.” He slapped your clit. “Ahh,” you huffed. “Too sensitive,” you pleaded.

But he did it again causing you to almost slip. “I’m sorry!” Tears began to form in your eyes after he did it again and again. His other hand kneaded your fat ass. “Wanna try again,” he chuckled. You looked at him defeated. “Please sir I want to cum on your fingers,” you cried.

“That’s my girl.” He indulged you going knuckle-deep into your dripping hole. Your body was so warm compared to the coldness of the shower. Especially your breath that fanned over his neck. For a moment you forgot where you were screaming as he reached your g spot.

“Again pls,” you sobbed like a pathetic bitch. “You sound so-so pretty when your begging,” he exclaimed. His cock was leaking all over your thigh as he rubbed faster. “Fuck think I might cum like this,” he explained before catching your lips in his.

He caught all the air you had left in it. Causing you to break apart gasping. “Need to cum idia please!” His fingers moved at a ballistic place inside. You could feel him curve his fingers hitting that special spot again. Only this time you squirted all along his fingers.

He pulled his hand out of your cunt so you could taste yourself. You pulled away watching him use your spit-covered fingers to pump his cum onto you. For a minute you sat there leaning on him as your orgasm passed.

“Y/n?” He called to you quietly. “I’m still hard.” He admitted embarrassed. “Shouldn’t have pent yourself up now your gonna have to suffer.” You mocked him stepping out of the showers. “Come on please!” He begged you grabbing your arm.

“Fine but you have to massage me first.” A win’s a win,” he smirked following you out of the shower room. Some dorm members watched trying to act like they didn’t just hear you both practically screaming in there. Lucky for you both Ortho was nowhere to be seen.

“I think they're staring at us, babe.” You whispered to Idia whose remaining flames were flushed a bright pink. You giggled skipping behind him innocently. Finally, after what felt like forever to him you got back to his room. He dropped his towel revealing his hard-on once again.

“I want my massage first your dick can be later.” You threw your towel underneath you so you could lay on your stomach on his bed. “You know what you’re doing to me Y/n.” Trying to make me cum inside so you could have your victory.”

“While this final boss will show you that he can hold through.” He ranted about your supposed seductiveness while pouring cool oil on you. A shiver ran through your whole body causing your eyes to flash back open.

“This ain’t regular oil Idia what the hell?” He keked a bit before explaining. “It may have a bit of aphrodisiac mixed in but you never said I couldn’t use a power-up.” Fine then let me make my move too!” You pouted before making him sit on the bed.

You quickly moved to his lap your pussy dangerously close. “There’s no reason why you can’t give a massage like this,” you remarked. Idia’s flames grew in size at the thought of the challenge. “I’ll start just lay your head here.”

You laid your head on his shoulder as instructed. His hands were on either side of your waist and began to knee the area causing you to loosen your tension a bit. You sat further down on him your crotches now touching. “Does That feel good Y/n?” Mhmm,” you sighed.

He brought his hand up you back then to your overworked shoulders. Your head rolled back with relief as he worked on them. You didn’t realize it but your breathing had grown heavier. To Idia, it sounded like you were purposely letting out light moans.

And maybe it was the aphrodisiacs but your pussy was drooling on top of him. His dick was no different his pre cum rolling down your thigh. “Looks like it’s starting to take effect so I’ll take my next move.” He flipped you over so you could lay flat on your back. “I didn’t add oil here yet.” He pointed to your chest.

“You look so good all oiled up maybe I should do this more often.” So soft and shiny.” He marveled pouring the cool liquid on your chest. Your nipples perked up immediately because of the temperature. He sat there admiring you for a minute. “Not gonna ask me to continue?”

“Am I about to win already,” He gleamed? “A little bit more oil won’t make me cum,” you declared. “We’ll see about that.” His hands brushed over your boobs just barely hitting your nipples. He did this a couple of times the stimulation almost tickling you if it wasn’t for the goosebumps that started to form.

He trailed his hands down even further ghosting on your tummy. They were naturally cold, long, and lanky. You felt his calluses as he tugged at one of your heightened buds. Your hunger for his touch grew more as he trailed up your body again this time grabbing at the plush of your hips. His grip was much softer than normal but the way he looked at you proud but shy smile made you wish it was harsher. Maybe even bruising as he fucked you into the mattress.

Your dream was interrupted when he grabbed them both needing them. You groaned as he pinched them. soon after the bit of pain quickly mixed into pleasure as he soothingly rubbed them. he brought one into his mouth sucking harshly.

By now your unattended pussy was in shambles. You needed his touch your body even reacted on its own as you pushed your legs together. Before you could admit defeat you had one more move. “Thighfuck me!” He looks at you astonished.

“Okay.” He gulped knowing he was definitely about to bust first. Your thighs were his favorite part of your body and you knew that of course. After getting in the position he pushed his cock forward whimpering at the feeling. “All this edging is getting to you too huh Idia? You know you could always just cum you know you want to!”

“Come on I won’t shame you. Just cum on me or maybe even in me don’t you wanna bread me?” He was quite much too ashamed and focused to answer. If his mind slipped for a second he would come along your thighs. So he kept himself grounded and thrusted along your clit.

You didn’t expect this to feel so good. It felt like something was missing of course but you still couldn’t shake the orgasm that was about to hit you. Idia bit into your neck to hide the moans that were about to escape him. You cried out too when his cock scraped along your clit for the nth time.

He released your neck looking at you for confirmation. “Please Idia need you to fuck me!” He let out a laugh he kinda sounded like an evil villain. But the challenge was still on he couldn’t lose now or so he thought. But when he pushed himself into you it felt like he was losing his mind. He knew the drugs would affect you.

But he could never imagine you being this wet. Your pussy made lewd sloshing sounds as you gushed around him. You lost the challenge but you couldn’t care when you were exploding all over him.









[artsninspo]

Heyy babess

Soo request, kinda similar to something you’ve written recently. Say reader has been suspecting Jamie of cheating on her , he’s been distant, neglecting her, their relationship etc

One day he comes home really late and wants to directly go shower but reader snaps on him and she’s like « remove your pants Im gonna smell yo D » 🤣🤣 spin it or add stuff as you want

“MADNESS”

Author's Note: This one’s for those of you who like things toxic. This was a fun challenge outside of my norm, thanks for the req 🙂

Pairing: Jamie (Topboy) X Reader

Word Count: 1.2K

“Be fucking for real right now!” you shout as Jamie passes you heading straight into the bathroom to shower. You waited up and it’s three in the morning, his new normal as of late. Anger burns through your body, you're like dynamite liable to blow any moment now. The bathroom door still hasn't closed all the way meaning Jamie is contemplating his next move. “I’m right here you come in you greet me, we speak, you don't pass me after being MIA all week” you continue from where you are in the living room. It's moments before you hear movement. Jamie stands in front of you still in his coat that reeks of weed, probably to mask the perfume of the other women.

“You have to shout and curse me out for wanting to shower?” he asks, looking at you with contempt.

“I have a lot to shout about Jamie”

“Oh yeah? Like what is this place too comfortable for you Y/N ? Is not working too difficult for you? Did you have a hard time choosing your next hairstyle or nails?” he shouts back.

“Fuck you Jamie, go on shower wash off whatever skank you’ve been fooling around with. I don’t care anymore, I won't wait up either and when they DM me I won't lose sleep over it” you shrug so hot your anger’s flame is now blue. Jamie's facade cracks for a moment before he sighs looking bored by the accusations of his infidelity.

“Aint no women to wash off because there ain't no other women, one headache is enough” he says using his charm but it's no use, womens intuition is never wrong. Jamie’s been fooling around. “You don’t believe me?” he sighs.

“No, I don't believe you, knowing you and who you are she has to have you pretty pussywhipped to have the balls to come at me and not fear for her life. Well I hope the cunt was worth it” you mutter.

“Are you hearing yourself?” Jamie snaps. “You’re going to leave me for something that never happened?”

“No I’m gonna leave you because on top of being a piece of shit coward you are also lying straight to my face” you snap back.

“I have nothing to lie about, I’ve been working. I ain't been hope in almost a day and I want to wash up” he shouts.

“Whatever Jamie” you smile out of anger, frustration and irritation at his audacity.

“What’s funny?” he asks, weary of your amusement.

“You’ll see” you warn, getting up from the couch and heading into the bedroom.

“I’ll see what?” he questions. “Y/N I havent fucked anyone!” he snaps committing to the lie.

“Pull down your pants then, let me give you a blowjob” you say wanting to inspect the appendage yourself.

“I told you I need to wash up” he says as an excuse instead of inviting you into the shower like any other sane man would with a blowjob on the table.

“That’s never stopped us before,” you remind him.

“Y/N” he says in a judgemental tone.

“If you're innocent pull down your pants and let me smell your dick” you shrug and shock covers his face before he smiles folding his arms.

“What?”

“Jamie you heard me” you say maintaining eye contact.

“I’m not gonna do that, you're not a dog and I'm innocent. You’ve probably had too fucking much to drink or youre going mad.” he says heading into the shower and locking the door. You swallow at wits end, in your heart you don't want to leave him but deep down you know there's no forward motion without getting even.

Sure Jamie’s been good to you, he’s a provider and protector but cheating and lying are hallmarks of a weak man. Scrolling through your DM’s you delete the intimate photo of Jamie sleeping on her topless chest. Fuelled by anger you find the blue check mark, the famous footballer that's been after you for months. He's in town. He doesn't fool around and responds instantly. Two can play at Jamie's game. If he thinks you're here for his provision and not him then he’s in for a rude awakening, many men would love to be in his position. Jamie’s young and he's been through a lot fucking around can be excuseable but not lying, not both offenses together.

The bathroom door opens when you're finished packing your bags. Jamie comes out in boxers stunned. He had been going over excuses and deflections preparing for another round and not your retreat.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“I’m gonna go stay with my sister, you can call up that bitch and have her sitting up here looking dumb while you cheat and lie about it. I’m too good a woman, too young and too fine to be sitting in this penthouse waiting for you to come home Jamie” you scoff.

“You're gonna go stay with your sister who’s married with kids” he asks.

“Yeah so have fun” you nod.

“You’ll be back, you like your space too much” he says getting on a shirt and helping you wheel your cases out. The bastard is too good under pressure. If you didn't know him as well as you do you’d believe his innocence. “Don’t be gone too long I’ll miss your madness” he says in the elevator.

“I knew you’d take our breakup well” you smile.

“Break up?” he asks in amusement.

“Yep” you nod heading to your car. Jamie lifts your bags in the boot like a parent indulging a tantrum but the joke is on him. There's no use in tears, especially when they won't make him lose it nearly as much sleep as your next move. You get in the car and Jamie shuts the door. You roll down the window just a tad after starting the car, he stands there and you wish things were different. But he has to sweat and work his way back into your good graces.

“Glad I could provide you with some excitement tonight” he says, egging on the situation. His tone is patronizing and condescending.

“I love you Jamie but you're boring, you're a stereotype now. Maybe I’d be crying if you were still the unique man I fell for but you're not so this doesn't hurt as much as it should.” You spit venom and it stifles his gaslighting. His nostrils flare. “Getting over you shouldn't be too hard.”

“You’re crazy if you think someone is gonna out do me in any way” he snaps with well placed confidence.

“I know but if I fuck that footballer that all your friends rave about it’ll hurt your pride and humiliate you and thats enough for me” you smile as his features harden. You pull out the lot with a laugh and before you can even put your head down on the hotel pillow you get a call from your sister claiming Jamie’s outside promising to wake up the neighbourhood.

Who’s mad now?

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖒𝖊 𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑 𝖇𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖓𝖊𝖜

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓣𝔀𝓸

"𝘉𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯"

彡 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 彡

✦ 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 | 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 ✦

𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞 : you chose to be perilous at the person that you only just met.....or is it?

𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝕮𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙 : keeping it very simple as I can

𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 : 18+ Knight!Eddie Munson x Princess!FEM x reader, language, use of Y/N, reader and Eddie are both (21), Henry is (30+), Jason (*gags* I know- sorry), age gap, reader will draw bl00d but not (g0re), Enzo! reoccurring :)), old family friends reunion, Jason calling reader a b*tch and slight physical abuse, vi0lence, manipulation, mentions of corpses, binding reader wrists with a rope

𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖙 : finally! some slight fluff, of course, the angst will never left lol, set in 17th century, dark fantasy, romance, action, upside down exists in this, almost revealing everything of the lost memory that Eddie had 👀

𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊 𝕿𝖔 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 : I'm so sorry for the long wait! I got sick and there's been so many life happenings but I'm back! I hope y'all staying hydrated 🥺🫶🏻

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊 : wow, even just a little support on to this series, I tried to post a few parts to test it to see if the crowd will like it and honestly, omg, I'm a bit surprised and literally so grateful for the feedback that I'm receiving and YOU GUYS! the reblogs, the likes and the comments really helped a lot! 😭❣️

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

"Have you found her yet?"

"No, sign of her, your eminence"

"Then don't stop until you find her!" Henry points at the door, the light from the fireplace adds the flame that's going on behind his eyes

The knight bows and walks away, the receding footsteps echoes as Jason taunts him

"Jason, will you just leave me at peace"

"I think I saw a familiar face today" Jason places his foot onto the table as he leans down on his chair, your father's chair

Henry blinks as he thinks for a moment

"Who is it?"

"I didn't get the chance to ask for his name, but I think and I'm very certain that he is the boy that we took from-"

"Wayne"

"That's right, him"

"What about him?"

He shrugs as he says "Nothing is just I can feel that he will interfere with our plan soon"

Henry hums as he bites to the apple

"He probably doesn't remember anything since you erased his memories, right?"

He stopped chewing as he glares at Jason, "I'm not proud of it and you know it"

"Don't be such a wussy, Henry, we have to make hard sacrifices to fulfill our plan for this world"

He doesn't want to talk about this, he wants you on his side

"You know, you're not like this before when we entered this kingdom, ever since she swiftly walks into your sight- you're pretending to be like what?!?-" Jason makes a mockery of batting his eyelashes at him

"Like you didn't do shit?!? You're not a bad person?!? Don't fucking wash your hands on me and make yourself a change person, Henry, you're messed up since the beginning" Jason punctuates his every point with his finger

"I didn't asked for this, Jason!" Henry now ignores the apple that he's eating earlier, he lost his appetite

"I don't want this, I-I wanted to change!-" Henry can feel himself break for wanting to feel seen

"You can't change when it's already been done, don't you get it?!? You can't fucking have her just admit!" Jason shoots back as he sighs in exasperation

"Do you think she'll forgive you- if she finds out that you what?!? Killed half of the population of her damn country?!? Jason squints his eyes on him as Henry stood up and freezes on the spot

He starts walking as he halted for a second to look at Jason

"Say all you want but I'm not gonna stop until I find her"

Jason scoffs as he muttered words to himself

"I'm just protecting him and well- fuck it- he'll be sooooo devastated when finally got his heart broke" he says as he drank his last ounce of rum

You, Eddie, Jeff and Gareth have been bonded for over a month already and it's almost like you forgotten that you're hiding for a reason

Gareth grew on you, he's not mean to you anymore but still as a dear friend to Eddie- he'll destroy you if you do anything shitty to him

But Eddie is Eddie, he is so headstrong to his belief's and whatever Gareth tries to tell him not to give in to you easily, he always fails

There's nothing that he can do about that but to cave in as well

You will not betray them all, will you?

"Jeff! That's not funny!" You exclaimed as you try to chase him but he always moves away faster than you

He's teasing you about you became so enamored by Eddie at the first place

Of course, Jeff, always and he will never miss it

The way you looked at each other? He already knew

"It's the truth, right? Why would you be infuriated with me if it's the truth?"

"Because!"

"Because, what?"

You sighed as you lift your shoulders "It's ridiculous to even talk about this!"

He beat you again as he runs at the other corner "Why would it be ridiculous?"

You groaned "God- I'm tired, Jeff" you say it with a soft chuckle

He tug a small smile as he stands beside you

"Hey, uh- just to be clear, princess-"

"Please, stop with the formality"

He chuckles "Alright, Y/N"

"Much better"

"You're the light that he needs, you know? I mean- Eddie will never lose his faith on everything, I guarantee you that, is just that you added more to never make him give up" Jeff carefully speaks as he looked from his behind as he saw Eddie and Gareth are both walking together to catch up with you two

Your feelings are not important at the moment and now- Jeff saying this to you

Didn't helped

"Why are you saying this, Jeff?"

"You should look out for yourself too, you deserve to be happy"

It warms your heart to have a friend like him "That's nice of you to say, um- thank you" he saw the gleam in your eyes that falters slightly as he creased his brows for a bit as you spoke

"I know, but not right now since everything is heated up and I just don't want to use my feelings to stay away from the real problem"

He understands your decision and he's glad that you're aware of the obvious tension that you both Eddie had "Your father raised you, right, Y/N"

You giggled "Yeah, he did" you nod

"I picked some firewood!" Gareth speaks as he crossed your path from where you and Jeff been standing

"Yes! I'm so famished" you say as you held your stomach

"Y/N"

"Yes, Eddie?"

"Would you care to have a walk with me?"

"I will take that offer gladly"

You both start walking together as you glanced at Jeff who is already smiling as he looks away and starts helping Gareth

You're living with them for a month and you already knew some of their traits and you can point them out clearly

You can tell Eddie is nervous

You've seen him nervous but never like this

"What is it, Eddie?" You stopped him by holding both of his shoulders

The moment he looks straight on your eyes, he can't stand still

Your eyes, my god- it's like you're from a hazy memory that he really tries to remember but he couldn't

Your touches isn't foreign to him, he trusts you with all his heart and soul, he knows that you're aren't a stranger to him

The memory that he had before? He wants it so badly

The only chilly thing that sends to his spine, it's either he knew you as a friend or an enemy

But, he just doesn't feel anything, not a single thing that he can point out that is bad to you

That's why he is so sure that you are nothing but a straightforward and most trusting person ever

He took a sharp breath "It's been a month and I feel so guilty not telling you anything"

"About what?"

"About me"

"Oh"

You're both sitting together at the boulder and Eddie is now carving random woods

When he is carving random woods at the ground with that furrowed look on his face

There is something, something that he should talk about

You reach his hand and looked at you with those chocolate hues on his eyes

"Eddie, you don't have to tell me anything if you're not ready"

He doesn't replied to your remark, it looked like he wants to listen, so you keep going

"Just because I'm here with you for a while, it's not my place to like that you should tell me everything right away, you know?"

He nods as he ducks his head down

"Unless, you want to talk about it?"

He takes a deep breath as looked back at you "No" he says as he shook his head

"That's okay, you don't have to stress yourself-"

"I just want you to trust me"

The look you gave him it looked like you we're saying "Have you lost your mind?!"

"Eddie, you've earned it in the first place, the day you saved me and the way you genuinely let me stay at your place, that's enough" you say to him as you hold his hand tighter for reassurance

"You don't have to prove yourself to me" you added as you smile

"Why?"

"Because you already proven that you're kind enough to trust"

That comment alone, eases his mind, the thought that is ruining him right now finally flushes deep elsewhere

"You two, there you are! Dinner is ready, guys" Gareth voice snapped the both of you back into reality as you both walked back at the house

"This flavor is really excellent" you say as you munch down the chicken

"Give your compliments at the chef" Jeff nudges his chin towards, Gareth

Gareth dramatically bows at you as all of you laughed to his action

"The vegetables are nicely blanched" Eddie says as he chows down a piece of broccoli onto his mouth

You watch the three men do silly things with each other as the dinner goes filled with lots of bickering and laughing

"I want all of you back in my palace"

They've never swing their heads at you that fast

"Pardon?" Jeff leans forward closer to you as you chuckled

"I said, I want all of you to live in my palace!"

"You're fucking with us, right?" Gareth swallows his mashed potato as he looked over at Eddie who is well....

He looked like his soul left his body and wouldn't budge for a minute

They all cheered as Gareth says

"Wait- The fact that I am friend's with the royal!-"

"Hey, I could be mean if I wanted to" you say with a serious tone

"You don't want her to be like that, Gareth, I've been there and it's not a very good picture" Eddie took a sip from his rum as he glanced at Jeff

"Yeah, it's a terror situation!" Jeff nods along with Eddie

You crossed your arms in front of Gareth as he furrows his brows

"You didn't liked me at first, right?" You lean forward, an intimidated Gareth gulped

He quickly goes to explain himself as his two friends start sniggering at each other

"No! I liked you- now"

"Because you found out that I was a princess?"

"What? No!-"

"You're so awful to me, there's so many ways that I could punish you for being so disrespectful to me"

"Like.... What?"

"Execution"

Gareth exclaims so loudly that you can swear that the roof comes off and his voice wooshes it's way out of it

You, Eddie and Jeff start laughing hardly as Gareth now very looking grumpy

"You should stop taking things very seriously" Eddie points at him as he can't stop laughing

Jeff still wheezes as he looks back at Gareth with that look

Meanwhile, you, looked so smug

"For your information, you grew on me because you didn't do anything to piss me off"

"Like what, exactly?"

"For betraying us"

You nod with a fond smile on your face

"Maybe, it's because- it didn't happen yet or I'm just delusional" Gareth mumbled more words to himself as he collects the plates

Jeff throws a piece of bread at Gareth who smoothly dodges it "Do you think people will finally accept us?" he turns his head around at Eddie as he asks a question

You tilt your head at Jeff because what?!?

Is this what Eddie is trying to tell you?

This is what Eddie doesn't want sometimes, facing the facts but it will always haunts him

"I don't know, man, I wish they'll hear us or give us a chance to speak for ourselves, maybe that day or I hope it will come sooner or later" he gave him a small smile as he stands up and goes outside for a bit

"What is that all about?" you said as you tried to at Jeff who is avoiding your gaze

Jeff opens his mouth to say something but closes it, hesitating as he looks at Gareth who is already drying his hands with a towel, he nods at him

"Eddie, doesn't like to talk about it"

"About what?"

"How he got himself ended up here" Gareth sats down across the table

You blink at them, you think your words very carefully

"What happened?"

"We don't know" Gareth sighs as he wipes the table

"What do you mean?"

"Y/N- he doesn't remember anything what happened to him, the only thing that he can remembers is that he has someone like a family member but somehow he can't pick it up to who it is and I know there's more to the story but that's all he can say for now, so, you gotta have to forgive him, if he's so defensive when it comes to this and he has always been rejected by the public, I mean- your people" Jeff explains as you processing everything

Your eyes flashes with empathy as you finally understand Eddie's guilt

"Rejected?"

"He was false allegedly accused in black magic, Y/N" Gareth speaks as he rest his arm around the chair

Why is that sounds so familiar? your mind went blank as you try to catch the memory that is coming to you

"Including the both of us, Me and Jeff, we knew that he's loyal to what he fights for, so, we helped him and here we are"

"I swear- if I find out who done this to us, I'm gonna annihilate whoever it was"

"Let's not be too hasty, Gareth"

You feel like your heart might burst any second, when you finally remembered the last important information about your life

"I-I think I knew Eddie" your eyes became glossy as you smiled a little

Jeff and Gareth whip their heads at you, the surprised expressions from their face, you can't miss it

"Who are you?" A very deep hoarse voice that's going on outside

You, Jeff and Gareth got wicked at the voice of a stranger as all of you sprint outside

"Don't! I got this" Eddie has himself pinned against the wall, the older man threatens to attack him with a dagger

"Please- drop the dagger, we can talk about this" Jeff walks slowly, proceeding with caution

"Stop this!" Gareth yelled, upset when the estranged man didn't care to look at him for once

If you don't look hard enough, you won't recognize the person

You gasp to yourself as you cupped your mouth

"Enzo?"

He follows your voice, turns his head around and there you are

You could hear him breathing heavily almost like it's unbelievable that you're standing there

"Y/N? Are you real?" He knits his brows together, he is still wearing the same uniform that your father once wore

"Yes, I am- please drop the dagger, they're my friends" you reason with him with pleading eyes

He blinks through the rage from the state he was in before as he backs away from Eddie who is gasping for air as he sats down on the ground

You checked on him to make sure if he was okay, he nods weakly as he watches the person that you claimed, you knew

He's your family's most skilled general, your father, Jim- became one of the greatest duos in history because of how they manage to do anything against war and collision

They prioritize of what the people need, they focus on the weak low points of the kingdom before putting themselves first

You didn't know all of it but you're aware of many enemies that your father Jim had because of his selfless acts

Your eyes welled in happiness as you can't help but to embrace him

"I'm sorry, it's been a while since I saw a real living person"

"It's okay"

"Enzo, are you with my father? Where is he? What happened to him?"

Jeff gave him a glass of water and a plate of dinner, he mutters a small thank you

"To all of violence in my life, Y/N- this- has got to be inhumane of it all"

You brace yourself for his outlandish words

"We fought together, we tried to escape but whatever we do, we always failed- you know- I thought I could never make it out alive" he holds back the tears on his eyes as you rest your hand on his shoulder

"The last time that I ever laid eyes on your father, he was taken by the guards forcefully"

Your friends are watching you and Enzo from afar in the firepit, warming their hands as they observe your conversation

Suddenly, you felt like you slipped off the hope that you're holding onto if your father was still alive

"And then I never saw him again, I'm so sorry, Y/N"

You sniffle as you flash him a sad smile as you stood up and move away a little

Enzo sighs wishing he could do something more or even better than this

But, no, that's the truth- he tried everything to save his dear friend

Eddie saw you standing so still, alone

He wonders if you wanted to be alone but when you turn your head sideways slightly it's like an permission that you wanted a company

When he stands beside you, you shakily wipe your tears from your face, you don't want to him to see you like this

"I don't know where my father is, Eddie" you try to lighten up the mood as you chuckled dryly

"God, I'm so rude- I didn't properly introduce him to you, he's Enzo, my father's general and a close friend"

He nods as he places his palm on your shoulder "It's alright, Y/N"

Despite, having your thoughts fogging from the heartaches that you felt from the past couple of years

Eddie, has a right to know who he is

You clear your throat and look at him directly "Eddie, please listen to me carefully"

"What is it?"

"I think I know who you are"

He places his hand over his chest and swallowed "You knew me?"

You nod aggressively "Yes-" you got cut off

"There you are you little frigid bitch!" Jason's voice startles the rest of you

Eddie wraps his arms around you as you move closer to him

Jeff, Gareth, and Enzo got themselves ready to fight as they walk towards as the castle's guards surrounded you

"Oh- fuck me! Enzo!" Jason grins at the sight of the most respected general whose face scowled directly at him

"You exiled me!" Enzo walks closer to Jason with a look that could kill him instantly but the guards stopped him from holding him off

"What- You did what?!?" Your voice raises out of anger as you eye him with shooting daggers

"We didn't need him anyways" Jason trashes the place with throwing rocks at the house

Making Eddie, Jeff and Gareth furious

"You have no right to do that, Jason"

"I think I do, I think I do have the right to have you back in the palace, young lady!" Jason almost hit to hurt you but Eddie beats him to it covering you with his figure

"Henry needs you" Jason adds, you peek over at the side as you exclaimed

"Why does he need me?!?"

"You should ask him that"

"I don't want to go back in there, you wanted to kill me!"

Enzo looked at your way with your eyes mixing with fear and blazing eyes as he became enraged of what he just heard

"You're so way out of line, Jason" Enzo grunts as he tried to let go from the grip that the guards his holding onto him now

"Why don't you just fuck off?" Eddie has reached its limit, he had enough of this man

Jason laughs in disbelief as he leans forward and you shudder under his tone

"I can execute you for lying, you piece of shit, I knew you we're hiding her!"

Eddie held you tightly behind his back as you wince at Jason's voice

"The way you deliberately disobeyed the rules, outsiders are not meant to be in your world, especially her" Jason pushes him making you stumble from the back as your eyes widened

Jeff and Gareth can't help but to start fighting the guards and making Enzo start kicking and joining the fight

The swords are clashing, the armor is clanking, the shouts from the fight rummaging in your brain

You shut your eyes as you can hear your father's voice from the lessons he taught you

"Y/N, my daughter, being a risk taker- it's about having the guts to trusting your own voice, you set your mind to face consequences and being able to handle it on your own makes you the best ruler of the kingdom"

"So, if you ever you put yourself in that situation, don't be afraid to take a step forward and prove to everyone that they're wrong and don't make anyone else cloud your judgement"

You picked up your sword and impede on Eddie and Jason's fight as you slashed your sword in the middle

Eddie has never seen you this determined and almost forgot that you're so skillful swordswoman

You defeated Jason by making him drop his sword on the ground and start aiming at him

From your action, everyone stopped at what they're doing as they watch you

"You're a making a big mistake, princess"

"I am certainly not"

"You mustn't defend the wrong person, you didn't even know who he is- still haven't remembered anything do you?" He makes a teasing look at Eddie as he furrow his eyebrows in confusion

No, it's a bad move, if you admitted that you knew Eddie, so, you didn't say anything this time

"Why do I get the feeling that you already told him?"

"Just shush your mouth and walk away, Jason"

"The only half of it, you knew, huh?" Jason smirks and it's making your head crack open to his assholeness

Jason fastly grabs his sword and goes to attack Eddie only to be stopped when you block his way

"I am warning you!"

"You gotta be shitting me! This fucking man that you're defending, he's practicing black magic didn't you even think for once that he might be the cause to all of this?!?"

Eddie clenches his fists and a flash of hurt in his eyes that this will be the end of preparing himself for a long time

That Gareth was right all along

But, still he won't drop it, he is certain that he is right about you

"You also know that's a false accusation, Jason, there's no proof"

"Right, discovering dead babies and children from his home doesn't count, huh?"

"Someone else planted them!" Eddie exclaims as he meets your eyes, he thought he'll see something else but no- your eyes didn't falter

You trust him

Jason raises his sword wanting to stab Eddie with it but instead you make him drop his sword for the second time

Making Jason alarmed by your defiance

"There's one thing you didn't know about me, Jason is that when I believe someone is truly innocent- I'll fight no matter what it takes" you paused

"I believe in justice" you say as you move backwards

When he tries to move, you aim your sword back at him

"You want me alive back there, do you?"

Jason didn't want to to nod but he did

You replaced your sword with a dagger as you show it to everyone your arm

Enzo knew what you're doing, despite, the situation being tricky, he is somewhat proud of you for standing up what is right

You did exactly what your father did before

Jeff, Gareth and Eddie almost dropping their eyeballs when you cut your arm making a fresh new wound

Eddie looked at your eyes quickly and you didn't even flinched at the horrifying thing that you just did

Your arms is now dripping in blood making the rest of the guards bow at you

"You gotta have to kill me first, before you get to Eddie"

"Woah- slow down, alright" Jason felt so fucking stupid that you won

One of the guards bind your hands with a rope as you came along with them

"Wait- No! Y/N-"

Your eyes went softer when you looked at him as if you weren't so tough back then

"I'll be fine, Eddie"

"But what about.... Henry?"

You know what he's talking about, you're supposed to get married to him but you won't let it happen, not on your watch

"I will turn it down like I always do, Eddie"

His eyes are begging for you to stay but he can't do anything right now

"Take care of yourself" you say softly as the guards nudge you to move

"Y/N"

You turn your head at him

"Thank you"

You smile sweetly "It's the least thing that I could do to help you, goodbye for now"

For now? What does that mean?

You want to see him again? He hopes so

They all watch you walk away from the place as you entered the portal outside

"Boy, when she spills blood on you, she is serious" Enzo pats behind Eddie's back comforting him

"If they lay a finger on her, I'm gonna squeeze all of their insides to a pulp" Gareth grumbles as he looks over at Jeff who agrees with him

"What do you think they'll do to her?" Jeff is worried about your well-being, the last time he wants to see is you being scared and he doesn't like that

"I'm going to save her" Eddie as he narrows his eyes at Jason who is waving at him annoyingly

"I'm with you, I ain't going to let this place ruled by these people" Enzo says as he removes the dirt from his boots

"It's oath that we agreed upon the first meeting, we swear on our life to protect her even in the face of danger" Jeff adds as he waits for Gareth

"We've been on this mess for too long, it's time for us to fight, to the death" Gareth turns his back and starts packing Jeff and Enzo tailing at him

"Y/N, just hold on, we'll get you" Eddie speaks to himself as he looked up at the sky

[tokillamockingbird427]

Couple more tidbits for Isaac:

Isaac and Hesh are a weird bunch. Noone really knows how they got so close, because Isaac like said, doesn't really trust people getting close to him, so he pushes everyone away and while trusting professionally, personally he doesn't. Hesh and him got put together because people need partners and Isaac has worked alone for too long in Merricks and Elias mind and with Logan being put with Keegan, Hesh needed a new partner. Isaac obviously was not good with that and tried everything to keep Hesh at arms length. Hesh did manage to worm his way into his heart, solely by taking Merrick a bit too literal when he said that he needs patience with Isaac, because "he's like an abused dog, you move to quickly and he bites" so he moved around him as if Isaac was an actual abused kennel dog that you wanna show you're no threat, and somehow that actually worked

.

Funniest shit i feel like Merrick would say about Isaac: "don't let him being short fool you, he has so much fire in his body that it starts to come out of his head" because that boy is a flaming redhead

.

Also i have no idea how old Isaac actually is, everytime i try i feel like Stiles who tries to gigure out how old his friends actually are.

Me: okay, so you still were a minor when you joint the feds, because your parents still had the power, but after ODIN you were a fully fleshed adult, but you're also definitely older than Hesh?

Isaac: yes, but also can't be 16/17 when joining, because then i probably would've run early

Me: right.. god this is all so vague... Grace be nice and tell me your age again

Grace: well, in course of the game 27

Me: thank you that's straightforward

Grace: but if it comes to the au it'd be 28, cause Hesh's twin yk

Me: you know what, I'm just not gonna get into it anymore.. this makes my head hurt

-🐑

Golden retriever vs... can't say black cat seeing as Issac is apparently a DOG... hm. Doberman. Golden retriever vs doberman.

I'd like to think it's not until far into their relationship that Issac goes "Wait, how did we get along?" and Hesh goes "Oh, Merrick told me to treat you like a doggie! :)" and then Issac (and Merrick) are exposed to the himboness that is Hesh. (They did know before... just not how deep the himbo got.)

Hotheaded redheads RISE!!!! (I am one :3)

They got a cork board with red yarn and pins +paper and shit going all over the place and Merrick has hesitantly written down "Vampire?" in the far corner right next to some Victorian era pic of someone who looks suspiciously like Issac.

[catierambles]

Blood Moon Ch.7

Pairing: Syverson x Annalisa Caulfield (OFC)

Sy reached for her when he woke, but the other side of the bed was empty and cold.

“Annie?” He asked groggily, but there was no answer. “Babe?” Opening his eyes, he sat up, looking around. Her phone was gone from the nightstand and he didn't see her shoes where she had kicked them off. “Annie?” The fog finally lifted from his brain and he winced, his entire mouth sore, as if— “No.” Grabbing his phone, he opened up the calendar, looking at the moon phase. Full. “Shit shit shit fuck.” He quickly dialed her number but it went straight to voicemail. “Annie, it's Sy, I—please, just call me back. I need to talk to you about somethin'.” Fuck fuck fuck. Goddamnit, he should have been more careful, should have kept better track of it. She probably thought he was a monster. If he went too long without, the full moon took that choice away from him.

No blood, no torn sheets, so there wasn't a full transformation, but she had seen something that had terrified her, making her leave before morning. His mouth being sore gave him a good idea of what. Dialing her number again, it went straight to voicemail once again, but he hung up without leaving another message. Blood edged his fingernails, darkening the quicks and he got up, heading into the bathroom and scrubbing his hands.

Shit shit shit.

Tiffany never knew, she never saw that side. He came back from Syria changed and his relationship went down in flames before it ever became an issue.

Quickly throwing on clothes, he left the apartment, almost forgetting to lock the door behind him in his haste before hopping in his truck and tearing out of the parking lot.

Her SUV was out front in the circular driveway and he parked behind it, getting out and heading up to the house.

“Annie?” He asked, knocking on the door solidly. “Baby, it's me. Please...please open the door. I...” Cedar and sage. “I can take a guess on what freaked you out and I'm sorry. I was gonna tell you, I promise, when we had been together longer. Not even my family knows and I—” The lock clicked back and the door opened, allowing her to peek out. “Annalisa, I...” It opened wider and she stepped aside in a silent invitation, letting him in. “Baby, I'm—” It cut off as she wrapped her arms around his chest, holding him tight and he released the breath he didn't know he had been holding, returning her embrace. “I was gonna tell you.”

“I believe you.”

“You're not scared of me?” He asked.

“Scared?” She asked, pulling away to look up at him, “Sy, I'm relieved.”

“What?” He asked and she took his hand, pulling him into the living room. They sat down on the couch, Annalisa still holding his hand.

“Sy.” She started, “Kyle. You're not the only one who has been hiding something.”

“Annie?” He asked and he watched the thoughts cross over her features before she sighed, her lips parting to show her top and bottom canines and he watched as they lengthened, becoming razor sharp. A beat, and they shrank back down again, returning to normal, and she clicked her tongue against her teeth. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“You're a...”

“Vampire.” She said and there was a beat before he started to laugh. “Sy?”

“Baby, do you know how much I was freakin' out about this?” He asked, “I was runnin' a thousand bad scenarios through my head and you...”

“Yeah.” She said, “You're not angry?”

“Angry?” He asked incredulously, “Annie you think you're relieved? Were you gonna tell me?”

“Eventually.” She admitted and he sighed, still chuckling slightly. Tugging, he pulled her into his arms, holding her against his chest.

“No wonder I've never seen you eat. You don't.”

“Not food, anyway.” She said, “You're taking this very well.”

“Sugar, I turn into a Hollywood wolfman and my girlfriend is a damn vampire.”

“Well, when you put it like that...” A weight was lifted from his shoulders, and he was guessing from hers too, as there was no reluctance as she relaxed against his chest. Tipping backwards, he pulled her on top of him as he stretched out, their legs tangling. Holding her in his arms, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, hearing her contended sigh. “When did it happen?”

“Syria.” He said, “Right before I left the service. My team and I were on patrol when we were ambushed. I was the only one to come out on the other side.”

“I'm sorry.” She said, burrowing into his chest slightly.

“Yeah. I could feel somethin' comin' on in the hospital, so I got the hell outta dodge. Shifted in the middle of nowhere and just rode it out. Brass gave me a medical discharge when I said I was done.” Sy explained, “When'd it happen to you?”

“About four hundred years ago.” She said, “I wasn't attacked, though, I chose this. The man I loved and married was a vampire and he turned me on our wedding night. Very supernatural romance novel.”

“Eugene?”

“Hell no.” She said and he snorted. “Eugene was later.”

“What happened to your husband?”

“He's dead.” She said, “Killed by a Hunter.”

“There are...”

“Yeah.” She said and his hands rubbed at her back soothingly. “It was a long time ago.”

“He was still your husband, Annie.” Sy said, “Is Caulfield your married name?”

“Yeah, he was Lord Markus Caulfield.”

“Which is why Whats'er-Tits called you “Lady” Caulfield.” Sy said and felt her nod against him. “You slummin' it with me?”

“No.” She scoffed, her hands spreading over his ribs.

“Explains the house.”

“I got this house built when this city was a single road and a couple shops, I love this house.” She said, propping herself up on his chest.

“It's a nice house, but you're kinda leanin' into the vampire stereotypes a bit much with it.”

“Says the man who can put down a mid-rare porterhouse in record time.” She said, “Leaning a bit much into the werewolf stereotype?”

“I could do that before I started howlin' at the moon. Always had a big appetite.” Sy said and leaned forward a little, pressing his lips to the small furrow between her brows before relaxing again. “I'm just pokin' fun, baby. Ain't nothin' wrong with your house.” She rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him. “What?”

“Nothing.” She said, “Even with you...being what you are, I was still scared.”

“Of me?”

“Of how you would react.”

“Have I ever givin' you the feelin' that I would hurt you? Ever? About anythin'?” He asked and she shook her head.

“Never.”

“Then you had nothin' to be scared of, baby.” He said, “Even if I wasn't what I am, I woulda gotten over it.”

“How do you know?” She asked and he reached up, tucking a lock of hair that had escaped her braid behind her ear.

“Because I told you, we're forever.” Sy said, “You're my endgame. Wolves got Mates, Annie, and you're mine."

"We have them, too. Called Tovaras." He arched a brow, "It's Romanian. Dracula language."

"For?"

"Direct translation? Companion. The full term is Tovaras de Viata, or Life Companion, but it gets shortened down."

“Then why not just call it that?” He asked with a chuckle.

“I didn't name it!” She said, “I thought Markus was my Tovaras, but when he died I...” She sighed, “I was devastated, obviously, but it didn't destroy me.”

"And Eugene?"

"Should I question how you knew Eugene was like me?"

"I got eyes and he's a bit of a try-hard." He said and she snorted.

"Eugene was...he was later. It didn't last very long." She said and sighed again, laying her cheek against his chest. "You're my Tovaras."

“And you're my Mate.”

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I just had a really weird experience with a dating app and I don't know what's real anymore.

I matched with a cute girl earlier today, and we spent a couple hours talking about our shared interests in podcasts and history and weird niche topics nobody else cares about. It was nice, and I asked her if she wanted to get lunch sometime this week. She said she'd like that, but then immediately changed the subject to talk about her job instead of scheduling the date. I mean, that's not TOO weird, I figure she must have wanted to say no but didn't want to hurt my feelings. Whatever. No big deal. We keep talking.

She mentioned that she works as a medical scribe at a doctor's office, and I said that that sounds like a wizard's apprentice. She said that medicine is the intersection between science and magic. I replied with a throwaway joke that chemistry is just alchemy with a little flair, and then shit went off the rails because she sent me a link to a pornhub video titled "We came at the same Time - Sensual Side Fuck" and said "me when someone tells me they're an alchemist."

A cute girl sends me a literal porn link after dodging the question of whether she wanted to go on a date, so I'm confused as hell. I don't know if this is her way of flirting or what, so I replied "I'd be down to practice some alchemy if you're not busy." I regretted saying it immediately because I never talk to anyone like that, I was just blind sided by the porn and thought maybe she would think it was funny. Well, after a few minutes she says "did you just ask to fuck me?"

Okay, I'm going down in flames, I crossed a line, that alchemy "joke" was inappropriate and creepy and she's clearly not into it and she's probably gonna unmatch me and block me and report me or something. I'm still confused over the direction the conversation is going, but I decide it'd be better if I apologize and go on the defensive instead of doubling down like a jackass. I tell her "no, not really," I'm not soliciting a stranger for sex, I was just yes-anding. She sent a porn link. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to respond?

Another few minutes pass. I was 100% sure that when I reopened the app she would be gone, but no, she finally replied "I was hoping you were..."

What kind of mind game is this? Is she just looking for a hookup? Her profile specifically says she's not! I have no idea what's going on.

"Did you just ask to fuck me?" My honest answer would have been "yes, isn't that what you wanted?" but the thought of saying that to somebody makes me feel like a douchebag. Her tone with that question didn't sound flirty, it sounded accusatory, like she was outraged I had the audacity to ask for sex so soon. My social anxiety is going through the roof. Whoops, turns out she actually WAS flirting and DID want to have sex, and I've managed to waffle it and sound like an asshole no matter what I say. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

From my perspective:

Her: *posts meme about sex* (it's just a meme, nothing more. Don't read into it)

Me: *flirty memey response* (could go either way; I'm not outright saying I want to have sex with her, I'm just matching her energy. She memes about sex, I reply in kind because I thought it would be weirder go ignore it)

Her: oh my god, did you really just say that? Did you really think I wanted to have sex with you?

Me: I'm sorry, I overstepped

Her: mind games, dumbass! You don't know what I want, motherfucker!"

From her perspective:

Her: our conversation is going well, let me drop a big hint that I want to hook up

Me: picks up on the hint

Her: really?

Me: NO!

Her: oh... okay... nevermind...

So then I take a step back and try to see if there's any way whatsoever to salvage this dumpster fire of a conversation. I admit that I'm confused and ask her point blank if she wanted to have sex. I legitimately don't know if she was making a move or not, and I need her to know that I'm not the kind of guy who asks for sex as an opening move but I'm not opposed to it if she's the one bringing it up. There's no way to fix this. I failed at this interaction. I need to cut my losses, but somehow we keep talking.

She says, quote "I like making art and love. Sometimes at the same time, ya know?"

I say "do you want to make love?"

She says "we probably should."

I ask her if she'd like to get something to eat first, as was my initial date plan before the porn thing. Her response confused me even more. "I can't right now. I'm exhausted from traveling all weekend. I haven't eaten and feel like I'm gonna pass out." That reply doesn't make sense. It's Wednesday and she says she's too hungry to get dinner. That's when I noticed that her previous message ended with a period.

"We probably should," period. I scrolled back up through our conversation and realized that EVERY message she sent me ended with a period. Every single one! Oh, and some of them weren't even direct responses to anything I said, so now I'm 1000% convinced that she's a bot. I got tricked into talking for three hours with a bot, and I derailed the scam by rolling a nat 1 critical fail when it tried to sext me.

I ask "her" point blank when she wants to meet up, and it said "I need to eat first. Make food, not war, lol. Where are your top places to grab food?"

Bot. Almost certainly a bot.

My final reply, in the extraordinarily small off chance that she's not a bot, was to say it depends on my mood, before losting three or four of my go-to places.

"She" didn't unmatch, but she ghosted me. No reply.

Bot. Absolutely a bot. No doubt about it.

TLDR, I got catfished by a bot!

[watchoutforthefanfics]

achievement unlocked 🔓 (part seven) || Streamer AU! Reddie (IT)

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: this prompt + BIRDS OF A FEATHER by Billie Eilish

Summary: Richie liked to play video games, and by some stroke of luck, it became his job. Being primarily known as Trashmouth on stream, he found his own little group of streamer friends and they became intertwined: The Losers Club. It never did feel quite complete, though. Well, until, he got his very own backseat gamer in chat.

TWs: innuendos, self-depreciation, lots of talk of sex (it's Richie), The Quarry (the game) spoilers, cursing, and shameless flirting.

[[A/N: Felt single writing this shit, fair warning. Y'all heard of Uhaul lesbians ??? Well, get ready for this, my friends !!! Enjoy :))]]

"Hey motherfuckers," Richie grinned, clapping his hands, "-Sorry about the wait, but we are back into The Quarry today."

The chat was filled with lots of different emojis, mostly excitement. Richie took it as a good sign, grinning wide. Maybe a little too wide, it was probably the biggest he'd ever grinned on stream. To be fair, he'd had a very good few days. Great days even-

reddy.bevvy donated $10: earth to richie can you hear me

"Shit," he cursed, "-fuck, sorry. I zoned out."

toziers-trash: guys does anyone think he's like strangely happy

girlie-pops: ✨️ adhd tingz ✨️

elite._.gamer: the Quarry again ?

trashmouth-for-me: @/toziers-trash that's kind of fucked up to say

younganddumb: adhd king I feel so seen

dizknees: I'm feeling an absence of Eddie in this chili's tonight

wait_weight87: yooooo this game is so good

too.tough.to.cry: seen this game before so hype to see trashmouth ruin it

genuine._.disappointment: @/dizknees no 🍝 :(

trashy.tozier: @/toziers-trash @/trashmouth-for-me no no I see the vision

big.bill: good choice rich

"Thank you, Billy," Richie grinned, dramatically placing a hand on his heart, before adding, "-you should thank chat though, they suggested it."

There was a slew of 'you're welcome's in the chat, and Richie watched them go by. He waited a few seconds trying pick out some messages.

"'Are you gonna go the villain route?' Okay, so, I was. Burning flames, everyone dead, etcetera, etcetera, but-" Richie leveled a look at the camera, "-chat told me there were gays. And then, I met the gays. And killing Dylan would in essence be killing myself. So-"

trashy.tozier: no ur right u r so dylan coded

elite._.gamer: so a good run then ?

girlie-pops: dylan = richie

dizknees: secret nerd who is gay meet secret nerd who is also gay

babey_boy: but do u ship them 👀

girls.girl: personally I'm more into emma and abby

hog-inthebog: how do u feel about laura and max tho

toziers-trash: @/dizknees now kiss

the.losers.are.better: ryan is bi put respect on the name 😤

trashmouth-for-me: no u and dylan are carbon copies what

tozier_babeyyy: there's some jacob in u don't lie

thuh-quarry: my fav is abby

trashy.tozier: @/tozier.babeyyy no u r so right he's a healthy mix

"Is Ryan the other one? The quiet guy? I know Dylan because he's fucking obvious," Richie commented, before switching into a southern accent, "-And I can say that because I am a full-blooded homosexual-"

Honk, honk.

eddie.kaspbrak donated $10: what the fuck did you just call yourself ?

"Eds!" Richie chimed, as happy as he always was (or maybe just a lil more, he'd never tell), "-And I said, that I'm-"

mike.me.up donated $1: no need to repeat yourself rich

"Okay, okay," he laughed, pretending to bow slightly, "-the beep beeps have been respected."

toziers-trash: EDDIEEEE

trashmouth-for-me: 🍝🍝🍝

trashy.tozier: EDDIE 🍝🍝🍝

dizknees: the king has arrived 🍝

girlie-pops: 🍝🍝🍝

genuine._.disappointment: yes 🍝 :)

the.losers.are.better: @/dizknees is Richie not the king ?

reddy.bevvy: 🍝🍝🍝

dizknees: @/the.losers.are.better there can be two kings have you ever heard of gay people

trashy.tozier: BEVVVV ??

tilt_my_towers87: 🍝🍝🍝

trashmouth-for-me: reddy.bevvy eddie.kaspbrak collab when

babey_boy: 🍝🍝🍝

genuine._.disappointment: @/trashmouth-for-me Eddie stream reveal ???

the.losers.are.better: @/dizknees AHJZHASNJSJH

peanutbutter-butterpops: the quarry is elite

Richie laughed, eyes flashing over his chat (they seemed to be as into him as he was), "Spaghetti, you're stealing my stream."

eddie.kaspbrak donated $10: maybe it's because you're doing jackshit

Richie laughed even harder, before shaking it off, "Alright, motherfuckers, Eds says let's get a move on. So let's start this shit."

They went through the motions, they had just introduced the premise and most of the characters at this point (he had no fucking clue what was going on with Laura and Max), and Richie was completely on edge waiting for the twist. There was always some evil, or some shit.

"Are we playing Truth or fucking Dare right now?"

They were, in fact.

Richie laughed at the situation, before faltering.

"Wait," he spoke, suddenly, "-it's not subtextual gay shit, it's real gay shit? I can kiss Dylan?"

elite._.gamer: they're much better together anyway

trashy.tozier: oh my sweet summer child

thuh-quarry: him and ryan def trauma bond through this

trashmouth-for-me: queerbaited one too many times ✋️😔

babey_boy: the girl doesn't even look that into it tbh

reddy.bevvy: @/eddie.kaspbrak check ur dms

peanutbutter-butterpops: @/babey_boy that's because she isn't

toziers-trash: @/reddy.bevvy WHATTTT

tozier_babeyyy: WAITTTT BEV AND EDDIE COLLAB WHEN

too.tough.to.cry: gay gay gay gay

genuine._.disappointment: new loser reveal 👀

eddie.kaspbrak: @/reddy.bevvy ��

dizknees: @/reddy.bevvy @/eddie.kaspbrak what the fuck ???

Richie smiled a little, trying to chase it down (he was so fucked about Eddie, he was done for), eyes settling back on the screen, and promptly kissing Dylan. Obviously.

"Why are straight people so messy?" He chimed after a moment, watching a character (Abby, he gathered) run off into the woods, "-Like I know she was trying to show Jacob they're through or whatever, but fuck, man. That's your best friend's guy."

And then it all pretty quickly went to shit.

Richie, although he tried to prepare for it, was not entirely ready for it. He spent the rest of the stream asking chat what was going on, and somehow, they all formed an allegiance not to spoil it. When he was literally asking for it, which was kinda fucked. But it's his fans, so what can he say?

"Fuck, guys," he spoke, frantic later in the game, "-fuck, it's Dylan guys! He got fucking bit, what the fuck do I do? How do I save him?"

His eyes flashed to chat.

"I have to cut off his fucking hand?!"

It was a good fucking stream, he knows that much. And he really enjoyed himself, and got his heart pumping in his chest (for more reasons than one, wink-wink). It was a surprisingly fun game, and a lot more fucking nerve-wracking when you actually gave a fuck about the characters. He should probably do that more often-

He was in the kitchen now, phone laid on the counter as he made him a sandwich (with whatever the fuck he had in his fridge). Fingers dusting over cabinets, he debated exactly what he wanted and if it even actually mattered. He just kind of wanted to eat-

Ding.

It was embarrassing how fast he ran over to pick up his phone.

reddy.bevvy ✔️ has added you to 'the losers club 2.0'

Richie frowned for a moment, clicking through, they already had a groupchat. It wasn't used all the time, they mostly just used discord, honestly but still. It existed.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

bev ? what is this ?

reddy.bevvy ✔️

a new groupchat

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

we already have one ?

stan.the.man ✔️

Hate to say this but Richie's right.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

wow staniel, right where it hurts 😔

reddy.bevvy ✔️

shut up and let me do something

mike.me.up ✔️

you guys are in troubleee

Before Richie could type out a response to that, right in the chat, a message popped up.

reddy.bevvy ✔️ added e.kaspbrak

Richie blinked once and then twice, something twisting in his stomach. He was excited but at the same time, he really fucking hoped Bev had talked to Eddie about this beforehand. Richie didn't want him to be shoved in situations that would make him uncomfortable-

reddy.bevvy ✔️

everyone meet Eddie !!!

benny.boy.official ✔️

hi eddie !!! hope you're doing okay

mike.me.up ✔️

hey Eddie !!

stan.the.man ✔️

Richie's Eddie?

Richie blinked at the message, and debated typing out a few different things. Like maybe 'I wish' or 'yeah, eds from my chat' or maybe he could just leave the groupchat in like total-

e.kaspbrak

Yes, I'm Richie's Eddie.

Richie grinned and felt his heart flip in his chest. My Eddie. It made something zing down his spine, and reminded him of that photo of Eddie smiling with the scrunched-up nose-

big.bill ✔️

I feel like I'm missing something

Who is Eddie?

Huh, did he never hear any of this? Did nobody tell him? Bill was super oblivious though, honestly, so he could've been told and not understood it for what it was.

stan.the.man ✔️

Have you really not heard anything?

Like at all?

big.bill ✔️

What, are you and Richie dating or something?

Is this like meeting the parents?

Richie again had a few things flutter through his mind, an assortment of answers. Some mortifying and some more acceptable. Some putting literally himself on the line, others a little insulting honestly-

e.kaspbrak

Not yet.

God, he had the instinct to just twirl like he was seven and trying to be a ballerina. Or maybe like he had a pretty, wispy skirt on and it would flow prettily in the wind as he spun. He really debated asking Bev for one, because that sounded fucking sick as hell. He could wear a little sunhat, and make his hair actually look good, maybe Eddie could help with that actually. He knew all that medical shit, right, so he should be able to-

mike.me.up ✔️

I think you killed him.

stan.the.man ✔️

No, he's still reading messages.

He's probably just taking in the fact that someone actively wants to date him.

big.bill ✔️

He does collectively date assholes.

Richie rolled his eyes, and typing with a breath.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

okay enough of the let's bully Richie train guys

e kaspbrak

It's not bullying if it is factual, dipshit.

Richie laughed, tipping his head back a second. He felt a little like he couldn't stop smiling. Maybe ever.

stan.the.man ✔️

I like you, Eddie.

Maybe you'll finally knock some sense into Richie's big ass head.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

I will leave this gc guys

e.kaspbrak

No, you won't.

Yeah, his mind chimed, as he smiled too big (or maybe just right), no I won't.

It was like a week later, and the whole groupchat thing was going really well. After confirming with Eddie that he had, in fact, wanted to be in it, everyone really seemed to meld together. Richie was pretty much floating on cloud nine, he loved his fucking friends and Eddie was getting along with them. That was like dream fucking scenario for him. So, yeah, life was pretty fucking great, actually.

Now though, Richie was just wandering around his apartment, fidgeting with figurines, bored as hell. Eddie was at work, or else he'd be bothering the fuck out of him. Poking and prodding unlike anyone else. He had no limits with Eds, mostly because he physically told him he liked him. He enjoyed his fucking presence. Which was a first for one Richie Tozier.

He was gonna milk the shit out of it.

He groaned, throwing himself back into one of his beanbag chairs (he almost ate shit actually, but no one was there to see it). He stared up at his ceiling for a few moments, just eyeing different patterns -he tried to trace a few things. Shapes and patterns and sometimes a face, and freckles, and a cheesy big ass smile-

God, he was so fucked. So gay, so very gay.

He likes you too, Richie reassured, he told you that. And you believe him.

He pursed his lips for a second and blew out a raspberry. His hand was splayed along his chest, he tapped his fingers to an imaginary beat. Or maybe it was Brittney Spears, actually-

And then, he had a stray thought. Would he video chat? If I asked, would he say yes?

Richie thought about it for a second, letting the thought mull over in his mind. To be honest, he'd really only let Eddie choose the pace. And that was fine, it kinda felt right. Richie didn't want to overstep either, honestly, so it kinda worked out that way. Everything they do actually kinda fit, it was fucking really weird. And also very fucking awesome. He felt oddly in place, like he fucking belonged there.

Eddie was just... how could he even describe it? Well, obviously, his favorite person-

His phone rang with the same sort of melodic chime as last time, and Richie felt it vibrate against his chest.

Once again, it was very embarrassing how quickly he flipped his screen to himself.

e.kaspbrak is calling

Richie furrowed his eyebrows for just a second, before answering. Was he not at work? Did he leave early? Was everything okay?

He answered anyway.

The first thing he heard was rushed steps and the buzz of crowds. He even thought he heard some cars honking, it sounded like... well, it sounded like the streets of New York.

"Eds?" Richie questioned, concerned, "-Are you okay?"

It took a second, the cars still filling his ears. Richie nearly booked a flight right then, he was so fucking worried.

"Eds? Seriously, you're freaking me out-"

"I quit my fucking job," Eddie snapped out, big huffs of breath.

Richie paused, taking that information in, "What?"

"It was that same fucking coworker," he continued, ranting, "-she wouldn't fucking leave me alone, so I told her I was talking to someone-"

Richie's brain flatlined for a second. Right.

"-and she threw a customer's order on me! Burning hot fucking coffee, and then, my manager fucking got onto me-"

"Eds, breathe-"

"-And I just have had enough of this shit, I hate New York, I hate my job-"

"Eds-"

"-and I just fucking quit. I quit, Richie."

"Eds," Richie spoke, calmly, "-breathe."

He heard the crash of his breaths through the phone, he couldn't tell if it was frustration or panic. It was maybe both. No, definitely both.

"Fuck, Richie," Eddie said suddenly, much more frantic, "-I just quit-"

"Eds, seriously, calm down," Richie spoke louder, "-You're gonna be fine. You said you hated it anyway-"

"Richie," Eddie breathed out, "-I have to pay rent. I have to survive-"

He said it before he could stop himself, "Just come to California."

There was a breath, and Richie almost just hung up out of embarrassment. God, he really needed to get a hold of himself. Richie had to get control of that, seriously. It was such a fucking problem-

Eddie spoke, suddenly much more calm (mostly disbelief), "What?"

"What?" Richie repeated. Hoping whatever God above didn't hate him.

"What did you just say?"

"Me?" Richie asked, blankly.

"Fucking obviously you, dickweed," Eddie stressed, somewhat frustrated, "-What did you say?"

"I said," Richie cleared his throat, stating awkwardly, "-you can just come to California... If you, If you want to-"

Eddie interrupted, "Seriously?"

"I, uh," Richie swallowed, he didn't know what was wrong to say here, "-Yeah."

"Really?" Eddie asked in a tone he couldn't quite read. (Was this bad or good? He had no fucking clue.)

"Yeah, Eds," he spoke -carefully, "-I have an apartment, and I stream and stuff so... you don't have to worry about money. Until you get back on your feet, I mean. I don't... I can help after too but I didn't think... It's not that I won't pay for your living, but I just figured-"

"Richie," Eddie leveled, "-shut the fuck up."

Richie muttered out sheepishly, "Yeah, okay."

"Are you-" Eddie continued, "-Are you seriously offering? For me to come to California with you?"

"Well, Bev has an apartment too," Richie responded, deflecting, "-if that makes you uncomfortable, she probably has an extra bedroom actually-"

"If I'm going to go to California, I'm living with you, moron. Obviously."

Richie's brain flatlined again (his heart beating so fast he felt like it should shoot out of his chest like in those cartoons), and he thought for a second he might just die here, in a beanbag chair. Surrounded by his shit, and on the phone with Eddie. That might actually be a pretty good way to die. Fucking focus, Richie. You have to respond-

"Okay," he replied, blankly (awkwardly even).

"So?" Eddie pushed.

"So what?"

"God, are you even fucking listening to me?" He asked, but Richie could tell it was rhetorical, "-Are you seriously offering me to come to California?"

"Yeah, of course, Eds," Richie chimed, instinctively.

The phone was silent for a few seconds, and Richie swore he could physically hear his heart beating. Pounding actually, like he'd just run a mile. Maybe 10. It made him wonder if Eddie could hear it. The whole situation settled on his shoulders.

You haven't even videochatted, and you offer him to live with you? God, you are so fucking stupid-

"Three months," Eddie suddenly spoke.

Richie pursed his lips for a second, confused, "What?"

"I've got three months left of like... rent that I paid," Eddie clarified.

"Oh-kay," Richie commented, "-and what exactly are you trying to say here, Eds?"

"I can leave," Eddie continued, "-after... after three months I can leave."

Richie's heart skipped a beat.

"Because I'm not wasting fucking money," Eddie added -abruptly, "-not even for you."

Richie choked out a laugh (and decidedly ignored that last part). Eddie did that a lot, actually, made Richie laugh. He kind of felt like Eddie was the funniest person on the planet sometimes. Though, he might be a little biased.

"I get it, Eds," Richie replied, still kind of laughing, before asking, "-What about food and shit? Do you need-"

"No," Eddie interrupted, speaking casually, "-I have like three emergency funds."

"You have three emergency funds?" Richie asked in disbelief, "-Why were you even fucking stressed Spaghetti?"

"Well," he seemed to pause a second, almost a little embarrassed, "-I also kind of fucking hated my life, that was also part of the problem."

And you won't hate it here? Richie's mind dinged, and his heart fluttered in his chest, Because of me?

"Wow, Spagheds, that stings-"

"Not you, fuckface," Eddie cut him off, near immediately, "-I don't hate the you part. Just... Just everything else."

Richie felt a little like the breath was stolen out of his lungs. How many times can you flatline before you're actually dead? Was there an experiment on that? Actually, that would kind of be fucked up, maybe there's a statistic he can look up-

"I'll come to California," Eddie spoke again, suddenly fully confident in his words, "-in three months, I'll come to California."

"To live with me?" Richie asked, maybe smiling just a little. (Okay, a lot.)

"Have you listened to a word I fucking said, dipshit?" Eddie asked, but Richie could tell he was smiling, "-Yes, obviously."

"Okay," Richie grinned, "-three months."

"Three months," Eddie confirmed -a little cheerily. It made Richie's head spin.

And then, Richie's mouth started moving again (without his permission, of course).

"Are we dating?"

Eddie snorted in response, and Richie felt a wave of heat smooth over his face. Right, his mouth fucking wins again-

"You are such a freak," Eddie spoke through laughter, "-You ask me to fucking move in with you, and then you ask if we're dating?"

"Well," Richie started, embarrassed beyond fucking belief, "-I just say stupid shit and then... and then ya know-"

"Richie," he interrupted, voice suddenly serious (in a calming sort of way actually), "-stop. You're doing that thing where you assume shit again."

Richie's lips snapped shut.

"We talk like every fucking day, we flirt like every fucking day-" Eddie continued, "-It's just very obvious, dipshit."

"Yeah, but you just said we were talking-"

"Because I wasn't sure if it was like... right," Eddie clarified, suddenly flustered (it made Richie grin so big he wanted to explode) "-Like if you... You know."

"I know what?" Richie asked -innocently.

"Oh, fuck you, trashmouth," Eddie puffed out, and Richie almost felt fucking giddy. He probably looked so fucking cute right now.

"I'm just asking a question, Spaghetti," Richie leveled back, but this time he couldn't hide the smile in his voice.

"You're such a dick."

Eddie was laughing then, just a little. He was trying to hide it, but it made Richie burst into laughter -full-blown, full-body laughter. He heard Eddie pipe up on the other side of the line, through laughs of his own.

"Don't fucking laugh at me, fuckwad," he seemed to try to convey seriousness.

Richie responded, "I can't help it, you're just too fucking cute, Eds-"

Eddie replied, instantly (laughs sneaking through the words), "You are clinically insane."

They laughed like that for a while, any time it died down the other one would just start laughing harder. It was like a domino effect. Richie was pretty sure he'd never laughed so hard in his life, actually. And he had some fucking funny friends, so that was saying something.

When it actually started to die down, the comfortable silence wasn't scary to Richie for once. Didn't mean he didn't want to fill it though.

"Eds?"

He got a low hum in response.

And Richie hesitated only for a second, words and thoughts skimming through his head. There was nerves there, but they were hard to focus on, not with everything else. He felt better than at peace then, his mind was still going but with nicer things now. Better things. Happy.

He spoke, as natural as breathing, "Date me, Eddie Kaspbrak?"

Eddie paused, only for a second.

"I'll date the shit out of you, Richie Tozier."

[spectrechosts]

Better Off Together - Chapter 4

This one takes place somewhere between the end of Better Off Alone and the start of Necrosis.

Kallie is good at remaining calm in the face of danger. Lunaeris... less so.

Full Series

"I'm telling you, this is the wrong one!"

"And I'm telling you, you didn't fucking watch the duel because if you did you would know that this one is the Princess!"

Kallixenia sat on the floor of her makeshift cell, tired and annoyed.

She had essentially walked directly into the trap, once again falling for a demon pretending to be someone in need of aid. This didn't embarrass her, she would gladly fall for this ruse a thousand times before forsaking a single person who really did need help.

She was somewhat embarrassed that her captors appeared to be complete idiots.

"Ladies, might I help settle this argument?" She asked.

"You might eat shit, regicidal prick."

"For fucks sake that's the other one-"

"No it isn't! Does she look like a fucking elf princess to you???"

Kallixenia sighed deeply.

"We're both princesses. Lunaeris is the one that killed your king."

"A-HA!!!!!!!"

"Might I ask why I've been captured?"

"You might suck my dick and balls-" One of the demons started, before the other cut her off.

"We're gonna use you to bring him back! Or something! Because the prophecy!"

Kallie pinched the bridge of her nose.

"That's not… Nothing in the prophecy says you can do that."

"It might! You don't know! Dumbfuck!"

"Shithead!"

"Pissdrinker!"

"Oookay." She huffed. "You. Smarter one. You said you watched the duel?"

"Yeah!" The demon said, nodding. "The King kicked your ass!"

She would let that slide. These women were vile, and irritating, but gods help her she was going to try and talk her way out of this before Lunaeris found them. For the Princess' sake, if not theirs.

"Then you will recall that because he nearly killed me, Lunaeris got so upset she burned the bastard, whose body was forged in the flames of hell, to dust?"

The demonesses rolled their eyes.

"Yeah that's why we aren't killing you." The smarter one said condescendingly.

"Dipshit."

"Dumbfuck."

"No, I already said dumbfuck. Come up with another one."

"Ssssstupid… Bitch."

Kallie thumped her head against the wall, before leaning in and lowering her voice conspiratorially.

"Would you two like to know a secret about the hero that killed the Demon King? The source of her pyromancy?"

The two demons looked at eachother wide eyed, and scrambled to the door of her cell.

"What is it?"

"Yeah tell us tell us tellustellus!"

"Lunaeris, as much as she used to try and suppress it, is a very emotional person." Kallixenia whispered. "She does not feel things in moderation, strong emotions consume her completely. When she is happy, she is overwhelmed with happiness. And when she is upset…" She trailed off, expecting them to make the connection themselves.

Her captors stared at her, unblinking.

"Why'd you stop talking?"

"Tell us the secret already, c'mon."

Kallixenia cleared her throat.

"When she is upset, she gets incinerating the Demon King upset."

"Wow."

"We'd better make sure not to upset her."

Gods, give her strength.

"Okay, well, you have kidnapped her wife." She said slowly.

"Yeah-huh."

"Got your stupid ass."

"And you're going to try and bring back the man who tried to kill us both."

"Going to succeed."

"Okay. And even though you have not tried to kill me-"

"Yeah, so we don't get toasted."

"How do you think she is going to feel, about this whole situation?"

The demons looked at eachother, and retreated to huddle and discuss. Kallie closed her eyes and waited for them to come to a conclusion. They walked back to the cell door, fidgeting.

"We think that, um, she would… get incinerating the demon king upset?" One said meekly.

Kallixenia nodded slowly. "She probably won't appreciate the distinction between capturing me and trying to kill me, yeah."

"Fuck."

~

"OKAY YOU DEMON FUCKS WHERE IS-"

"Over here, love. Safe."

Lunaeris' eyes darted around the room, licks of flame accompanying her panting breath. Kallie was right there, and safe, and free, and in a makeshift cell were-

"We're sorryyyyy!!!" A demon bawled.

"Don't burn us to ashesssssssss!!!!!!"

The demonesses clung to eachother, sobbing in their cell.

"What? I- What is happening?" Lunaeris asked, burying her face in her hands. Tears sizzled into steam at the corners of her eyes, and Kallie wrapped her in a hug.

"It's okay. I'm okay."

"D-Don't touch, burning-" Lunaeris stuttered, still swept up in the wildfire of emotions Kallie's capture had brought forth.

"It's okay, Princess." Kallie hummed. It did burn, but she could tolerate it. "Breathe with me."

"No, I, You- You got kidnapped, and-"

"And I'm fine. Breathe with me Princess. In, two, three. Hold, two, three. Out, two, three."

Lunaeris whined into her chest, but begrudgingly did her breathing exercises. Kallixenia stroked her hair lovingly as she slowly calmed down, her inner fire smoldering down to nothing. She sniffled, her last few tears coming out in liquid form and dripping down her cheeks.

"I'm okay." Kallie murmured. "You're okay."

"Do you think they'll let us go now?"

"Shhh, just, shut it and maybe they'll forget us."

[sourbinnie]

title -> cenere pair -> ex!wonwoo x gn!reader plot -> the ashes that he once believed would be an eternal flame, are still there as he tries to remember a time where it didn't hurt to look at you. genre -> angst + no happy ending warnings -> reader is kinda bad in this one + drinking + cheating words -> 1665 lowercase intended

puoi cancellare il mio nome

farmi sparire nel fumo

come un pugnale nel cuore

come se fossi nessuno

cenere / lazza

it almost felt like a dagger to the heart the way you were smiling right now as if nothing ever happened between us. seeing you dance in the dark with another guy, moving your hips to the beat, swaying from side to side and losing yourself in the moment. you didn't even notice me standing there. why would you notice me anyways? you didn't pay attention to me in our whole relationship, why would you care right now? it's almost as if i've been a shadow on your life, placing the darkness in your light.

i had no idea what i was doing at this point, how could someone so cruel bring so much out of me? i was delusional, convinced that the good old days would come back. i had you for a moment and you disappeared in the wind like a candle being slowly turned off with a breeze. maybe it was for the best that i lost you, you didn't care about me, you never did. your eyes always told the truth as i tried to read your mind but it was no use. seeing you again was a daydream and a nightmare, for once you were always beautiful, stunning actually. you've never lacked the looks and the brightest of smiles. then the fear approached, the one where i had to see you again and remember every night where i got my heart broken in a different way. i don't want to specify since i don't think it's worth the time of anyone and all my friends already know.

"yeah i don't know what they're doing here either." a voice startled me but at least it pulled me out of my thoughts. it was none other than seungcheol, my good friend, known him since i was 5. "i thought i told mingyu the situation clearly but it looks like he forgot and invited them anyways," he continued and i just nodded but still didn't look away from the pair of arms holding them. it was such a bittersweet feeling seeing your old lover who left you to pick up the pieces in such a romantic way with someone, it almost made me nauseous if i wasn't so proud.

"it's okay, they're allowed to invite whoever they want to at the end of the day." i said and fake smiled, but i knew that it didn't come through and i did not care enough either. "i'm in a debate of whether to go home or get drunk as fuck so i can forget everything & anything right now," i said as pure and honest as i could be.

and that's when it started, the shots, the mixed up drinks, the unknown flavors coming my way. so stupid that i didn't just go home, now i was unstoppable ranting about them. "yeah they left me" "i clearly moved on" "why am i talking about them? well i saw them and thought about this so yeah" "oh shit is that their new man? he's ugly as fuck". i would never say this shit out loud if it wasn't for the liquid courage running through me and the nerve that stroke in me just seeing them wrapped up like they belonged together, like a few months ago we weren't meant for each other.

"okay let's stop with the drinking for a moment 'cause you're going insane right now," jihoon said as he took the bottle from me and i just sighed. yeah he was 100% right and i couldn't deny it to him. he was probably the most rational friend i had between all of these fucking dumbasses but i still felt the crave to do something about these awful feelings invading me.

"i'm gonna talk to them." i said and i swear i felt everyone looking at me, maybe i did really go insane after all. 

"why? it's been months and they've moved on." jeonghan tried to reason with me and as much as i knew he was in the right, every impulse in my body was telling me to get up and go. do a scene in the middle of the party maybe? to shame them? to put them on blast? okay maybe not so much. but i was still gonna talk to them, some way and somehow.

"i just wanna see how they're doing." i said and it wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either. "listen i know it's fucking stupid but why would they come to my best friend's party expecting not to see me hm?" i asked and raised an eyebrow waiting for an answer while i was met with pure silence. "also i am done with everyone trying to look out for me, i am okay i think? or i'm trying to be".

i said those words and left to catch my breath outside. the cold air hitting me immediately but i still felt better than being trapped right there with everyone judging me for every decision i make like it was my fault that i ended up in the place that i was. 

"wonwoo?" their voice was so sweet and i knew the concern was purely fake but oh god did i miss everything. i was waiting for another stab in the heart, wasn't i? for them to erase me like i was nothing again.

"(y/n) hi." i responded and my fake smile met their real smile. "long time no see huh?" i said like i haven't been counting the months, the days, the hours like a lunatic. 

"yeah it's been a couple of months right? i still have to send your stuff i'm sorry." they apologized but i didn't even remember they were holding onto some of my stuff in their apartment. i was weak to the knees for them and i was really hoping that we wouldn't talk about the break up but what else was i looking for then if not an answer? what did i want from them? closure? hell no. 

"i don't really care, you can keep it." i mumbled as i tried to compose myself from all the sudden thoughts i was having about us or what used to be us or what i would've wanted to be us. "how you been?" i asked genuinely and looked them in the eyes for the first time since i got out.

"could've been better but overall trying to hold on you know?" they said, smiling politely, i just nodded as i whispered "same" and saw how they got closer to me. their eyes never leaving me, it almost felt like i had something on my face the way they were staring. "i hope things get better for you, not gonna lie to you though it's been going down since we broke up..."

i did not expect that in any way, shape or form. i just looked confused, perplexed, waiting for an answer but i knew i had to ask first before i got that.

"how so? you left remember?" maybe not that kind of question, as harsh as i sounded i knew i had to get to the point before i lost my mind. 

"i did but that doesn't mean i wanted to." they responded and that only made me even more confused than i was. trying to sober up for the talk we were having. "so many things happened and i know i fucked up quite a lot, distancing myself, being petty, saying things i didn't mean to but overrall just thinking it was okay to cross the line with you," that's when all the memories came floating back like they were in the air, like polaroids drifting through me. 

"it's way more than that (y/n), you played with me, my feelings and my state of mind," i said honestly, a bit too brutal for but at least it was me expressing how i felt. "i just wanted you and you wanted everyone else, i cannot explain how you made me feel because i don't want to go through that again, god i still fucking want you and i fucking hate myself for it." i said, shocking myself and biting my lip to not let any more stupid words out.

"i know, i know you deserve better, that's why this is not a speech for you to take me back but one for you to let go." they said and i looked at them again, expecting for this to be a prank but they could never lie to me, they're terrible at lying. "mingyu invited me and said i should talk to you, i should've approached you earlier but my boyfriend insisted that i should wait and-".

"boyfriend?" i asked.

"yeah he's the one i was with, jaehyun is his name." they muttered almost as if they were feeling guilty for telling me that they were dating someone while i just admitted how i felt. "wonwoo... i'm sorry, i fucked up and i really wanted to stay friends with you but everything passed by so fast, you blocked me, you gave me my things, i tried explaining a million times but you just wouldn't listen to me, to how i felt":

"why should i have? huh?" i asked and laughed bitterly, it's almost as if they couldn't understand the hurt that they've done in the process. "you care so much about yourself it's unbelievable, you understand that what you did was crossing the line yet you expect me to understand how you felt when you left me hanging for so long? when you decided to play with my feelings? when you are now with the guy who you kissed that night while we were still together?" i couldn't stop shaking my head, it was a habit at this point. the weight on my heart felt like it was crumbling as i looked at them one last time.

"have a good life (y/n), don't come looking for me ever again".