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Syverson: A good ranged DPS wants to get the attack buff. This guy actually. Oh, it's August! Oh my god fuckin' get'him!

Mike: Go get August! Get that motherfucker!

BOOM

Syverson: Got'im!

Mike and Syverson Playing FFXIV (the bants)

Trial Roulette - Sri Lakshmi

Mike: You hadn’t popped your Vril, I was like uhhhhh

Syverson: I’m waiting for that special someone to pop my Vril

Leveling Roulette - Temple of the Fist

Mike: You know–You know how you have your uhhhhh

Syverson: Nope

Mike: Your uhhhhhh I don’t even know what to call it, honestly

Syverson: My fat dick? Why thank you, Mike, I’m glad you noticed.

Mike: I mean, it’s kinda hard not to notice.

In the Wolves Den (PVP)

Syverson: So yeah, the idea is kills. Um, usually we’d go after the healer, but no one on the other team is a healer so this is a shoe-in

Mike: Eh…I’m not wearing any shoes

Syverson: Um…right

Mike: What the fuck are we wearing, Walter? Uhh only the uhh most aerodynamic PVP gear. We wanna be able to move fast, so you know.

Syverson: I’ve actually completely oiled Mike’s body with baby oil so he can slip past the enemy team under all their legs.

Mike: And it worked last match.

Syverson: It did, actually!

[catierambles]

Mike and Syverson Playing FFXIV (the bants)

Trial Roulette - Sri Lakshmi

Mike: You hadn't popped your Vril, I was like uhhhhh

Syverson: I'm waiting for that special someone to pop my Vril

Leveling Roulette - Temple of the Fist

Mike: You know--You know how you have your uhhhhh

Syverson: Nope

Mike: Your uhhhhhh I don't even know what to call it, honestly

Syverson: My fat dick? Why thank you, Mike, I'm glad you noticed.

Mike: I mean, it's kinda hard not to notice.

In the Wolves Den (PVP)

Syverson: So yeah, the idea is kills. Um, usually we'd go after the healer, but no one on the other team is a healer so this is a shoe-in

Mike: Eh...I'm not wearing any shoes

Syverson: Um...right

Mike: What the fuck are we wearing, Walter? Uhh only the uhh most aerodynamic PVP gear. We wanna be able to move fast, so you know.

Syverson: I've actually completely oiled Mike's body with baby oil so he can slip past the enemy team under all their legs.

Mike: And it worked last match.

Syverson: It did, actually!

[catierambles]

Summoned

This is going to be a damn series isn’t it

WC 1001

Warnings: None? I think

@kmuir1 , @ms-betsy-fangirl , @kebabgirl67 , @themanfromu , @duckymomo-26 , @identity2212 , @mis-lil-red , @7eamfantasy  

The book fell from nerveless fingers and a shocked silence fell over the room as the figure appeared in the summoning circle, standing there with her arms crossed over her stomach and a bored expression on her face.

“Holy shit.” One of them said with a nervous chuckle, “We actually fuckin’ did it.”

“Why have you called me here?” She asked, looking between the young men standing in a circle around her. The house they were in was a mess, beer bottles and red solo cups scattered around the common room amidst clothing and stacks of dirty dishes. “This place is filthy. You couldn’t have at least tidied up before summoning me?”

“We didn’t think it was going to work.”

“Well it did, and here I am.” She said, “Now, who was the one who actually spoke the incantation?”

“Me.” One said with a brief wave of his hand and she looked him over, seeing the curly dark hair and bright blue eyes.

Keep reading

[catierambles]

REMINDER:

Doorbusters are (almost always) scams 

Most sales will be going through the whole weekend due to retailer desperation. 

Cyber Monday has better deals.

There is no need for you to help make retail workers miserable this Holiday. Stay home on Thanksgiving, stay home on Black Friday, and help make your family and friends miserable instead.

[catierambles]

They were pinned down, cut off from the rest of the survey team, enemy fire chipping away at their cover.

"This is bad, babygirl." Sy said and she grimaced, the pistol in her hand but down. She knew she didn't have many shots left in the clip and Sy was almost dry in his rifle.

"Seth, I can do something that might get us out of here." She said.

"Yeah?"

"But it might also level everything in a malm radius." She added and there was a pause.

"That's a mile, yeah?" She couldn't help it, giving a soft laugh.

"Yes, that's a mile." She said, "I don't like to do it, but I will if pressed."

"Well, doll, I think this clusterfuck qualifies."

"So do I." She said and holstered the pistol back on her thigh. She snapped her fingers, her clothing changing from the desert camo of her field gear to deep red robes open in the front with a scaled chestplate. She pulled the hood up and the facemask down, naught but her eyes showing through. She stood without a word, bullets ricocheting around her. A barrier snapped around her and she stepped out from behind their cover, a gnarled staff in her hand.

The air around her gathered, becoming icy cold, his breath leaving him in puffs of steam as s shiver ran through his body, sweat freezing to his skin. She flung the staff out and he peeked around cover as spikes of what looked like ice slammed up through the ground, impaling those it caught. The air built again, the cold becoming biting and painful and a twister of snow and ice ripped through the area, leaving frost in its wake. Pulling the staff back, she whipped it forward again, forked lightning slamming into the ground and ionizing the air, making the hair on his arms stand up. Raising the staff, the air built again, but it wasn't cold, it was hot. So hot, sweat pouring down his skin. A massive fireball built in the air and she released it to slam into the ground, setting everything alight in flames.

Those too stupid to recognize when to run kept firing on her, but the bullets bounced off her robes and armor harmlessly. Raising the staff again, he could see the strain in her shoulders, her arms, her fingers tightening around the staff in a white knuckle grip. Something, not ice or fire, but some unholy combination of the two built in the air above them, the air and ground vibrating as if an earthquake was ripping through the area. She pulled the staff back sharply, as if she were snapping a tether, and the massive orb slammed into the ground with a shattered thud, sending rocks, debris, and dust flying, choking the air. Sy ducked back behind cover, shielding his head with his arms as rocks ripped past him.

Then it was quiet. So quiet. He waited until the dust settled before standing from behind their cover, his rifle gripped in his hands as he looked around at the devastation. He had never seen the aftermath of an atomic bomb in person before, only in pictures, but he imagined that this is what it looked like.

There was nothing left, nothing living but them. Burned out cars were twisted and smoking metal. The small buildings missing large pieces if they hadn't been leveled entirely.

And it was silent. The silence of death.

"Doll." He breathed as he looked around. There weren't even bodies, just traces of blood and ash.

"Give it a few and then try to contact the rest of the survey team. That spell always knock out communications temporarily." She was back in her field gear, the staff nowhere to be found.

"What was that?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Babe..."

"Please, Seth. I don't want to talk about it."

[catierambles]

tagged by @masked-lost-girl in a "what I'm listening to this week" post! (it was long enough boo, let's not get it to the "do you love the colors of sky?" level)

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@wa-ni , @masked-lost-girl , @kingliam2019 @ouroboros113

@identity2212 , @wtfdudesblog , @plaidcat4815 @mrsevans90 , @foxyjwls007

They were pinned down, cut off from the rest of the survey team, enemy fire chipping away at their cover.

"This is bad, babygirl." Sy said and she grimaced, the pistol in her hand but down. She knew she didn't have many shots left in the clip and Sy was almost dry in his rifle.

"Seth, I can do something that might get us out of here." She said.

"Yeah?"

"But it might also level everything in a malm radius." She added and there was a pause.

"That's a mile, yeah?" She couldn't help it, giving a soft laugh.

"Yes, that's a mile." She said, "I don't like to do it, but I will if pressed."

"Well, doll, I think this clusterfuck qualifies."

"So do I." She said and holstered the pistol back on her thigh. She snapped her fingers, her clothing changing from the desert camo of her field gear to deep red robes open in the front with a scaled chestplate. She pulled the hood up and the facemask down, naught but her eyes showing through. She stood without a word, bullets ricocheting around her. A barrier snapped around her and she stepped out from behind their cover, a gnarled staff in her hand.

The air around her gathered, becoming icy cold, his breath leaving him in puffs of steam as s shiver ran through his body, sweat freezing to his skin. She flung the staff out and he peeked around cover as spikes of what looked like ice slammed up through the ground, impaling those it caught. The air built again, the cold becoming biting and painful and a twister of snow and ice ripped through the area, leaving frost in its wake. Pulling the staff back, she whipped it forward again, forked lightning slamming into the ground and ionizing the air, making the hair on his arms stand up. Raising the staff, the air built again, but it wasn't cold, it was hot. So hot, sweat pouring down his skin. A massive fireball built in the air and she released it to slam into the ground, setting everything alight in flames.

Those too stupid to recognize when to run kept firing on her, but the bullets bounced off her robes and armor harmlessly. Raising the staff again, he could see the strain in her shoulders, her arms, her fingers tightening around the staff in a white knuckle grip. Something, not ice or fire, but some unholy combination of the two built in the air above them, the air and ground vibrating as if an earthquake was ripping through the area. She pulled the staff back sharply, as if she were snapping a tether, and the massive orb slammed into the ground with a shattered thud, sending rocks, debris, and dust flying, choking the air. Sy ducked back behind cover, shielding his head with his arms as rocks ripped past him.

Then it was quiet. So quiet. He waited until the dust settled before standing from behind their cover, his rifle gripped in his hands as he looked around at the devastation. He had never seen the aftermath of an atomic bomb in person before, only in pictures, but he imagined that this is what it looked like.

There was nothing left, nothing living but them. Burned out cars were twisted and smoking metal. The small buildings missing large pieces if they hadn't been leveled entirely.

And it was silent. The silence of death.

"Doll." He breathed as he looked around. There weren't even bodies, just traces of blood and ash.

"Give it a few and then try to contact the rest of the survey team. That spell always knock out communications temporarily." She was back in her field gear, the staff nowhere to be found.

"What was that?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Babe..."

"Please, Seth. I don't want to talk about it."

[catierambles]

They were pinned down, cut off from the rest of the survey team, enemy fire chipping away at their cover.

"This is bad, babygirl." Sy said and she grimaced, the pistol in her hand but down. She knew she didn't have many shots left in the clip and Sy was almost dry in his rifle.

"Seth, I can do something that might get us out of here." She said.

"Yeah?"

"But it might also level everything in a malm radius." She added and there was a pause.

"That's a mile, yeah?" She couldn't help it, giving a soft laugh.

"Yes, that's a mile." She said, "I don't like to do it, but I will if pressed."

"Well, doll, I think this clusterfuck qualifies."

"So do I." She said and holstered the pistol back on her thigh. She snapped her fingers, her clothing changing from the desert camo of her field gear to deep red robes open in the front with a scaled chestplate. She pulled the hood up and the facemask down, naught but her eyes showing through. She stood without a word, bullets ricocheting around her. A barrier snapped around her and she stepped out from behind their cover, a gnarled staff in her hand.

The air around her gathered, becoming icy cold, his breath leaving him in puffs of steam as s shiver ran through his body, sweat freezing to his skin. She flung the staff out and he peeked around cover as spikes of what looked like ice slammed up through the ground, impaling those it caught. The air built again, the cold becoming biting and painful and a twister of snow and ice ripped through the area, leaving frost in its wake. Pulling the staff back, she whipped it forward again, forked lightning slamming into the ground and ionizing the air, making the hair on his arms stand up. Raising the staff, the air built again, but it wasn't cold, it was hot. So hot, sweat pouring down his skin. A massive fireball built in the air and she released it to slam into the ground, setting everything alight in flames.

Those too stupid to recognize when to run kept firing on her, but the bullets bounced off her robes and armor harmlessly. Raising the staff again, he could see the strain in her shoulders, her arms, her fingers tightening around the staff in a white knuckle grip. Something, not ice or fire, but some unholy combination of the two built in the air above them, the air and ground vibrating as if an earthquake was ripping through the area. She pulled the staff back sharply, as if she were snapping a tether, and the massive orb slammed into the ground with a shattered thud, sending rocks, debris, and dust flying, choking the air. Sy ducked back behind cover, shielding his head with his arms as rocks ripped past him.

Then it was quiet. So quiet. He waited until the dust settled before standing from behind their cover, his rifle gripped in his hands as he looked around at the devastation. He had never seen the aftermath of an atomic bomb in person before, only in pictures, but he imagined that this is what it looked like.

There was nothing left, nothing living but them. Burned out cars were twisted and smoking metal. The small buildings missing large pieces if they hadn't been leveled entirely.

And it was silent. The silence of death.

"Doll." He breathed as he looked around. There weren't even bodies, just traces of blood and ash.

"Give it a few and then try to contact the rest of the survey team. That spell always knock out communications temporarily." She was back in her field gear, the staff nowhere to be found.

"What was that?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Babe..."

"Please, Seth. I don't want to talk about it."

[catierambles]

Is it just me or does he look a bit like....

Nahhhhh

[catierambles]

Jsyk

Cool kids don't dislocate their kneecaps and require complete reconstructive knee surgery to fix the damage

(I am not a cool kid)

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"BuT hE dOeSn'T hAvE a CoMpAnIoN mIsSiOn."

yeah, that's because he didn't need Shepard to solve his problems for him. He handled it all himself and was an absolute G.

Kaidan Alenko has the most interesting story in the Mass Effect canon.

Exposed to Element Zero in utero.

Basically kidnapped from his home by a government agency when he was a teen.

Forcibly implanted with a piece of tech that literally makes people mentally ill and/or disabled but gives them godlike powers.

Survived that with pretty mild side effects (compared to others).

Survived a torture boot camp for kids.

Killed the authority figure who physically and emotionally abused him and other kids for over a year and was about to kill him.

Caused a diplomatic scandal.

Survived Red Sand addiction.

Still decided to return to military service.

Risen to the rank of Staff Lieutenant WITHOUT using his biotics on the living targets (no, seriously, he must be really good at shooting, hand-to-hand, and strategizing to become the head of the marine detail without using his main cheat code).

Trained a team of biotic superspies.

Literally a second human spectre.

Learned by HIMSELF the biotic skill that only Asari matriarchs can perform.

...

"Basic man", "generic noodle", are you fucking kidding??

[catierambles]

have a thing running through my head where Clark is chasing after a woman trying to talk to her saying how what she just did was a great, it was amazing, it was incredible, how was she able to do that, etc.

(don't ask me what she did, idfk)

she's telling him to leave her alone, to forget that he saw that, but he's not dropping it. he follows her into an alley and she finally snaps, turning and lifting him off his feet against a wall with a hand wrapped around his throat.

"Leave. It. Alone." she snarls and lets him drop, shaking out her hand. He just looks at her, the surprise quickly fading, thinking she's like him.

"You're not alone."

"Yes I am." She says, "And be glad for it."

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I'm watching Preachs' video on Shadowbringers and he's bringing up the point that video games are not movies, and he's talking about what Hideo Kojima did with PT and Silent Hills.

Whenever I watch a playthrough of PT (I was never able to play it myself before it went poof because I didn't have a Playstation), the moment it gets to the malformed baby crying in the sink of the bathroom, any fear, any anxiety I feel instantly vanishes. Not because it's silly or overdone or anything, but because I want to cradle that baby to my chest, calm it, comfort it, and protect it.

I will protect this tiny child with my life. I'm not scared anymore because it needs me to not be scared. I don't care what is coming after me, it will not hurt this child. If anything tries to hurt this child, I will tear it's throat out with my teeth to protect this tiny, defenseless baby.

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They are perverts and need to mind their business

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"Good and evil are such narrow constraints. Hitler was in love with Eva Braun, Gandhi slept naked in a bed of underage girls and beat his wife. Ted Bundy loved his mother, Mother Theresa flew in a private plane bought with donations made to help the poor. No one is truly good, and no one is truly evil. To think so is to limit yourself to the true reality of humanity."

-Magnus Crowley, Witch Hunt