#and whiny as hell about it
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do i get jealous over someone flirting with MY mutual? yes but that is none of your business
#this bitch insane#i��m actually#hella possessive#and whiny as hell about it#but we literally#are just mutuals#am i in love#maybe#he’s just so#daddy#like#?????#what else do you want me to say huh#this is about exactly who you think it’s about#jealous AND pouty#whatever#text#mutuals#mutuals that live ACROSS THE OCEAN THAT I CANT EVEN ACCESS#whatever it’s#fine#i’m fine#totally totally fine#i’ll just take a nap and#yearn#forever
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People saying dragon age is too woke now have never played a dragon age game before and I really believe that.
#“i play games to escape reality”#oh the reality that queer people EXIST?#i think youll fucking live dude#theres a sea of whiny little bitches everytime a bioware game drops because its too progressive this isnt NEW#theyve been dealing with this for over 15 years yall arent special youre just more open about how stupid and hateful you are#also the thing where you get lectured for misgendering someone? the hell do you think would happen irl you moron??#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#da: the veilguard#veilguard
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new type of haterism unlocked: when i'm told a woman is Redefining Music and you just muuuust listen to her because she just like Really Gets It
and then all of her songs just sound like slow + reverb mixes from youtube
but like... in an early florence welch kinda way
and it's like sure i guess she sure is sad and angry in a relatable way but can we zhuzh it up a bit
can we get a good beat in here or something
#i think i bounce off a lot of fthis type of music#(though i LOVED early florence and some late florence)#is because often the vocals are dramatic as hell#an d the instrumental just is NOT giving the same energy#so it just feels like... whiny?#melodramatic in a way that turns potentailly deep lyrics into something grating#Female Rage music often lacks an instrumental that shares in that rage#so it's just like... Woman Shouting#and like... who yells?#also this type of music often has a limited lifespan#because it's so often framed as personal story telling#and people just... have a limited amount of story??#especially as they get more rich and famous#like you need to invoke some story telling or some thing political idk#there's only so many songs i can take about yoru ex
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I think the next time I graduate, I'm bringing sunglasses, stronger earplugs, and noise cancelling headphones because holy shit is it overstimulating as hell lol
#I brought ear plugs but they weren't enough lol#I wasn't prepared for someone to bring a goddamn airhorn#I'm being whiny as hell about it#but there's only so long you can stare into stadium lights and listen to people scream while it's 80 degrees outside#coyo speaks
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Omg don’t mind me, I was just looking through your masterlist and I really needed to tell you how much I liked the way you formatted and put everything together. 🥹 Tbh it gave me some serious nostalgia for old fansites from the 90’s and early 00’s, especially with some of those titles I peeped! The only thing you’re missing is a few low quality jpegs lol aaaaand I may or may not be pining for Geocities now, which I’m absolutely going to blame you for xmdmdsmw
But no in all seriousness, I’m so glad a mutual reblogged that Hisoka commission you posted and I was able to catch it on my dash. I’m going to take some time to further peruse your masterlist tomorrow but please know that I’m super excited to read more of your works! I’m very impressed so far!
oh thank you for such a nice message!!
LOL thank you. I miss old anime fansites... custom headers (with or without fanart drawn by the 15 year old webmaster) for every link, endless quizzes, the weird text emoji things, rambling from the webmaster on every page with many dubious stories to try to faux brag about things, characters talking with the webmaster...
I can see it now for my masterlist, really:
These are my Chrollo fics I hope you like them my teacher saw me writing them and was like "I think you could get this published!!" ^^;;; Chrollo: "There are a lot here. You seem a bit obsessed with me." Shhhhhhh and I'll give you a nice book to read later. Chrollo: **annoyed sigh** Fine.
I weep. Nostalgia and cringe perfectly mingled...
I had some Geocities sites, but for the life of me I can't remember what they were about now.
Also NGL my masterlist is several months out of date but I am forcing myself to get that updated this weekend, lol.
But ahh I'm so glad you liked my Hisoka fic! I hope you find other stuff you like! \o/
#I have both immense nostalgia and immense cringe for early 00s anime fandom#teenage me... hell... early 20s me would be amazed at the x reader genre being what it is today.#it was just NOT okay back then and when it did happen it was very very different.#and yeah there are people who get whiny about the x reader fandom now but it seems mostly aimed at like#x reader being too often in the tags than anything else
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I hate when people say that talent does not exist.
“Uhm sweaty, just draw everyday and you’ll get better, art is 80% practice anyway” bitch I’ve been working on that 80% for years now, it’s that last 20% I’m missing, and I always will. Fuck you. There will always be something too difficult for me to grasp, or something that comes natural to somebody else that I will never be able to replicate, no matter how much practice I do or how many references I use.
I feel so worthless sometimes. Seeing so many younger artists breeze past me in terms of talent, speed, anatomy etc. Maybe I should just find a real job and just keep art as my side hobby instead of trying so hard to make it my profession. My art is way too mediocre, it’ll never be profitable. Nobody cares.
Sometimes I wonder if my style is just missing something. A spark, anything that will get people interested. People look at my art for a whole 2 seconds, leave a like, then forget about it. I’m so tired. I hate complaining but it kinda does suck when you’ve been making art for literal years and never even had a commission. Not even a pity donation on Kofi. But no, the only time my art gets noticed is when I’m doing things for free.
“Oh but you shouldn’t think about money when making art, you should create for yourself first!!!” Shut up. I’m so tired. I’ve done everything wrong. Art was never my path in the first place no matter how much I wanted it to be.
“Oh just practice harder you’ll see the results!” Bitch what do you think I’ve been doing for the past 13 years? Just bang your head against a wall harder, maybe this time you’ll have your big breakthrough! God I’m so tired. I wonder how many people will notice if I stopped posting art completely
#bookmark'd#agh don’t worry about me I’m fine I’m just screaming into the void bc I’m frustrated as hell#god look at this whiny bitch complaining#throw rocks at her maybe she’ll stop being a whiny pissbaby#I knew I shouldn’t have opened Kofi requests I knew nobody would have cared and yet I did it anyway#and surprise!! nobody gave a shit#which I expected but what a blow to my ego still#I wish I was a frog
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my sister, my parents, my friends tell me I was cheated, having to do all but my first semester of grad school during covid, and that I graduated supposedly more employable into the clusterfuck of may 2021. usually I feel resigned to it at much as anyone else does to the first few years of the pandemic. it sucked and everyone was numb.
but sometimes, like when I see happy pictures of friends and family who got their masters and phds pre-pandemic, carrying diploma covers and in the ugly robes with their most loved surrounding them in celebration, I do feel pretty fucking bitter. it does make me feel cheated that my sister and I were first generation college students, graduate students, and my sister an entire fucking doctor of her field, and we didn't get to have our families or anyone celebrate at our schools. nobody traveled out to Iowa because I told them not to, and I didn't go to my own graduation when that kind of ritual means a lot to me, and I didn't buy or rent robes or a cap or a tassel, and I didn't walk anywhere or commemorate the day. what I did was post to my instagram story once I submitted my final project, and I bought a departmental cardigan, and as a member of the LIS student org exec board, I drove all over the county delivering cardigans to others. my family and friends and J were still proud, and I was happy with myself, but yes! yes I did get cheated!
#this is so fucking entitled and whiny and i realize that. oh boohoo you didn't get a graduation ceremony#i don't even have an excuse i just hate that grad school was nearly all fucking online and i moved to fucking IOWA for online classes#and i'm still here a failure to launch and i didn't even get to see me family to feel proud and hopeful after two grueling hell years#and i didn't get to go with my family to see my goddamn brilliant sister walk across the stage after her own hellish last few years ofschoo#i wish i didn't feel so mad about this on the rare occasions i actually think about it#ann with an ie
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Whatever
#and its the only listed entry for his relationships ?#does he not talk or interact with anyone else in the series ?#Trigun loveblog#he loves vash#damien do nooootttt read this this is spoilersd#it makes me smile so much that the entry is written like this because they could easily have said something like ...#'theyre siblings with an intense rivalry stemming from their difference in ideology' but no its straight to the point#like yeah knives really did make that face when he saw the scars. and yeah he did scream in rage and grief when vash was slowly dying#and yeah vash was the one who gave him the will to live again and yeah knives is the reason vash is alive#like seriously whatever#i mean of course vash is the reason knives lost everything and knives is the reason vash is constantly putting his life in danger#this and the way knives gently hands vash a gun and tells him to shoot someone in stampede is so funny#hes like whats wrong ? (gentle) go on and do it (reassuring) and when vash is shaking too much and lowers the gun hes like (fond sigh of#exasperation) i have to do everything for you. hes so funny he loves his brother#and what right does knives have to be calling vash his little brother in the manga. you two were conceived in the same instant chill ...#im just very glad that loving vash is one of knives core personality traits and the other is being evil. its not trigun if your brother#isnt about to burn the whole world down just to create paradise for the two of you. and i cannot get enough of how one sided it is at the#start like the first thing knives does after they crash land is to attempt to help vash stand. the second thing he does is beat the hell out#of vash because hes annoying and whiny. and vash has tried to kill knives so many times but in the end he just cant do it#knives has been on the other side of his barrel so many times and so many times vash would get mad at him and then fail to pull the trigger#its so cutee theyre beautiful twin boys ... exactly the same height ... sorry im just happy again that tessla is in stampede
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Looking back through my gallery at a ton of old sanders sides art, especially the whole fusion thing, I’m so curious to see how a lot of them would look in my current style 👀
#not that a whole lot of people would care much#and that’s not to be whiny or anything like that stuff is so far bar I’d be surprised if people even recognized them#like Emcei/Decni or Receit or something#or hell like#I kinda miss my whole thing about the butterfly effect 🥺#Magnus my beloved 🧡🧡#also I didn’t draw my insect Sides enough 😤#but yeah god there’s so many things I wanna draw again
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I really want to go outside but it's 93(34) today so I'm not risking it. Summer is officially here and I'm not happy, fuck this shit 😫
#I'll go outside all winter no big deal#but like hell if I'm going out in a millon degrees#I'm always whiny about this because outside time is important 😔
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is this a migraine or am i just existing in period hell
too anxious to lie down and nap, too headachy to sit up
also too cold to sit up hot damn i want to be in bed right now but because i’m a fidgety mess & Jack is still sleeping, i Cannot
Also cannot due to restless cat syndrome; ie, if i’m not watching him, he’s gonna keep trying to creep upstairs to bother despereaux
#just deliver my burritos early so i can eat and maybe have more energy 😭#also I am rather whiny today i think it’s just period hell about to loose itself on my uterus
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My mother complaining about me not getting better- like, I'm sorry? I already feel guilty as hell you don't need to remind me??
#i feel like such a crybaby lol#like everyone else wouldn't be so whiny about it and work and do their household chores anyway#i feel like I'm faking this?? while throwing up 50 times a day?? Can you fucking Fake this??!#FOR WHAT PURPOSE#i haven't worked on my thesis in days and march is coming to an end soon#so#i genuinely almost started crying earlier because i feel guilty for not doing enough#and just using this illness/whatever as an excuse to chill in bed and avoid all of my responsibilities#also I Hate throwing up so much#it feels like i get a glimpse of what it will be like in hell once i die#(if i believed in hell. you get the point)#mother of mine what the Fuck do you want me to do?!#misery
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they should invent an academia without the fucking exams
#i can do papers!!! let me do papers!!! but exams? hell no#<- this is gonna come bite me in the ass once i have to write a paper and have to be all whiny about it isn't it#anyways maybe i just love complaining#noah's stuff
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Having a little self-pity party ahahaha
#went through some theoretically minor but for me major medical stuff this week and lol god#(lithotripsy on my giant kidney stone)#and I am whiny as hell about it#and sorta questioning my place in a friend group that I thought was ride or die about it like#this may be the kidney stone that breaks the camels back
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when we're finally living with our friend (or, honestly preferably, on our own--but that's probably not happening unless we get lucky), we are not making/eating boxed noodles anymore lol
#it's me#not that we don't LIKE them. but it's so fucking stressful to make them#at risk of sounding like a whiny little baby: our brain short circuits if we have to make boxed noodles without help/guidance#and it's still difficult with someone there. esp if we're expected to do all of it#''will you be able to cook the noodles?'' ''uh--'' ''the correct answer is yes.'' fuck off!#and when we say it's not a matter of learning it's a matter of stress he says we're ''pushing back''#are we technically? sure. but gods he's acting like its fucking. willful disobedience or whatever instead of us being autistic with a low--#--tolerance for stress and multiple tasks and standing for longer than 5 minutes at a time in a kitchen near a hot gas stove#we need to get a job and get the hell out of here#and as soon as we have our own place we're gonna make it a rule that if he ever visits he's not allowed to say jackshit about what we eat--#--or how much we cook#or else he gets kicked out. does it three times and he's not allowed in our place at all
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💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️
#so grateful to be back on my DA bullshit bc spiralling about drawing has been a lot less painful ✨🙏#will I never succeed in all the ways I've wanted since circa 2017? nope never#will ppl even like the shit I inevitably will hyperfixate on with DA? Hell no#do ppl still hate the way I draw in gnshn? yes.#but I'm playing a game with a good story again 💁♀️#le whiny text post
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