#and when my sister has anxiety she takes it out on everyone else and its not fair

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

[pastryfication]

Hi, so I'm a one:one teacher and I have heavy anxiety (among other things) especially this year and I use colouring as a de stressing method? So I was wondering if maybe you could write something about going to a GP with boyfriend!Oscar and you're caught colouring in the garage (you only do it during red flags or delays or whatever; you're glued to the race at all other times) and you get widely criticised for that and Oscar (and Logan and Estie and Lewis -- bc I love them and want to be their friends) all defend you? Grazie!

thank u so much for this request!! i’ve tried to write it as well as possible, but i know everyone deals with their anxiety differently. i’ve based this slightly on the way my sister deals with hers (though she has adhd and ocd as well so it might be a bit different) to make it as realistic as possible 🫶🫶

colouring books | oscar piastri

pairing: oscar piastri x anxious!reader

warnings: mentions of anxiety and toxic fans

your anxiety had always been something you had to manage carefully. you loved your job, and you found immense joy in successfully handling the challenges it faced you with, but the pressure could be stressful and at times very overwhelming. to deal with it, you discovered a love for colouring. the simple act of filling pages with bright, intricate patterns helped mollify your mind and ease your stress. letting your brain focus on something else, something so simple yet calming, became your sanctuary.

your boyfriend had always been supportive of this method. he knew how much colouring helped you stay calm, and he admired the way you balanced your demanding job with your personal struggles and always found peace amidst your daily chaos.

today, you found yourself in the bustling paddock in the city of monaco. the excitement and energy were palpable, even more so than normal, and while you were thrilled to support oscar, the sheer intensity of the environment began to weigh on you.

you stuck close to oscar for as long as possible, your hand holding firmly onto his. it didn’t take long for him to notice your tension, and he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. “remember, if it gets too much, you can always find a quiet corner in the garage,” he reminded you. “you don’t have to watch the entire race.”

“i want to watch the race. i’ll be fine.” you assured him, giving him a warm smile as he left you.

as the action began, you watched nervously from the team’s garage. the roar of engines and the frenetic activity around you was both exhilarating and overwhelming. you tried your very best to focus on the race, but your mind started to spiral. when a red flag halted the race due to a crash, the sudden surge of activity and concern as the garage filled with engineers, mechanics and media personnel—all buzzing with tension and uncertainty—pushed your anxiety to its peak.

needing a moment to yourself, you found a quiet corner of the garage and pulled out your colouring book and pencils. the familiar motions soothed your nerves, gradually calming your mind.

lost in your activity, you didn’t notice the curious glances from some of the team members and fans who had found their way into the garage.

“is she seriously colouring right now?” one fan muttered.

“does she not care about what’s happening?” another scoffed.

“some support she offers . . . oscar deserves a better wag.” came a third opinion.

their criticism stung, each word amplifying your anxiety, but you forced yourself to shrug it off. they didn’t know you. they had no right to comment.

it didn’t take long before oscar entered the garage, the red flag lasting longer than expected.

he immediately noticed you huddled in the corner, trying to hide your distress. without hesitation, he walked over and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, thump moving back and forth on your skin to comfort you.

“hey, what’s going on?” he asked, concern evident in his eyes.

you explained in a hushed voice, looking down at your lap. “some people are upset that i’m colouring. they think it’s unfair to you.”

oscar’s expression hardened. “i’m gonna go talk to them.” he decided.

“no, osc, it doesn’t matter.” you tried to calm him. “i’m used to it.”

your words didn’t help in the slightest, only working to make his frown deeper. he stood up, moving to address the group of fans standing outside with a firm voice. “excuse me, everyone. i would appreciate you not talking badly about my girlfriend. she’s not being a bad support; she’s taking care of her mental health. if anyone has a problem with that, they can come talk to me.”

the room fell silent, a few people looking away sheepishly as they halfheartedly apologised.

you looked down at your lap, slightly embarrassed, but you also couldn’t help but smile to yourself, feeling your heart swell at the actions of your boyfriend. looking pleased with himself, oscar turned back to you, giving you a sweet kiss that made your heart flutter.

later that day, when you where laying next to oscar in the hotel bed, both scrolling through your phone before going to sleep, oscar turned to you with a smile on his face.

“have you seen the way the other drivers stood up for you as well?” he asked. “some fan apparently filmed the whole thing and it was shown to some of them.”

“really?” you asked, excited at the prospect of the other drivers standing up for you.

oscar only handed you his phone in answer, the screen open on a twitter thread.

[luvhughes43]

I BEG! BEG FOR SOME hughes!sister x Nico Au

Where Jack find out about them by accident, and Jacks like “You’re my sister, and THIS is what you do to me?”

PLEASE ITS A NEED

i’m so happy that u like the au!!🫶

-

Dawsons the one to break the news to Jack. they’re sitting on his coach, both scrolling on their phones and gossiping with each other.

“crazy how Blake and Nico are dating eh?” Dawson says, his newfie accent thick as he pauses on the newest photo on his instagram feed.

Jack chuckles, “man what are you talking about”. he tosses his phone beside him on the couch and leans back, not believing for a second that his twin would be dating his captain.

“Nico and Blake?” Dawson continues cluelessly. he scrolls through Blake's photos, stopping at a very obvious pic of her and Nico with his silhouette cropped out. Dawson tilts his phone towards Jack.

“you’re fucking lying,” Jack gasps, sitting up from his position and taking hold of Dawsons phone.

“you didn’t know..?” Dawson’s so confused… the relationship between their captain and the Hughes sister was very obvious to everyone near the couple.

Jack shoots up out of his seat and quickly pockets his phone as he rushes out his goodbyes to Dawson.

“you’re my sister and THIS is what you do to me?” Jack shouts, storming into Blake's quiet apartment. she looks up from her book to see a fuming Jack in her entrance way.

“what…. did i do?”

“my captain?? you’re screwing my captain!” he shouts again, tugging on his hair as he walks through her apartment.

when he starts pacing, Blake's anxiety grows.

“i didn’t… i’m not-“

“don’t lie to me,” Jack bites, whipping around to face a shell shocked Blake.

Blake stares at her twin, anxious tears threatening her eyesight as she rushes out an apology. “i’m so sorry Jack. I know it’s wrong but we’re adults and he’s so-“ she gasps, “he’s so sweet and-“ she gasps again, tears winning their battle and steaming down her face.

“don’t cry about it” Jack scuffs, and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it in this moment Blake being upset always made him upset. he walks over to his sister, sitting quietly on the floor in front of her spot on the couch. he stares straight ahead, stewing in his own upset while also letting Blake know that they’re going to work it out.

truly though, this was so damn annoying for Jack. out of everyone, her sister would choose his captain? he sighed.

“i’m sorry” Blake whispers again, nudging Jack's shoulder with her fist.

“it’s whatever” Jack sighs, all of his energy being drained from his earlier outburst.

the twins sit in silence for a while, before Jack starts up again.

“oh my god is that why you have his jersey sitting in your closet?” he gasps, turning to face his sister.

“how do you know about that!”

Jack blinks at her, “you force me to bring you sweaters when you’re cold, what are you talking about?”

“okay well-“

“oh my god!” he continues. “that’s why you were fuming that night of the wag party… you were jealous that he was talking to somebody else!”

“okay i’m happy that you kind of moved on from your anger but we really don’t have to go through all-“

“BROO!!! that’s why Nico was asking me about your favourite things??? he said he just wanted to know your coffee order to make you feel better but he liked you!” Jack gasps, shifting himself so that he was laying on the floor and staring up at the ceiling.

Blake blushes at Jacks retelling. “Nicos so sweet,”

“ugh,” Jack groans loudly and dramatically. he thrashes around on the ground, before settling and staring up at his sister. “don’t say any of that shit to me,”

“I thought you were cool with us now!” Blake protests.

“no,” Jack states. “after that comment i take it all back”

“that was innocent though?” Blake laughs at Jack's struggle. he looked like he was in pain.

before Jack has the chance to say anything, Blake’s phone rings and she happily answers. she puts it on speaker and Nicos voice blares through the phone loud and clear. “hey babe!”

“UGH,” Jack groans.

“Jack?” Nico is immediately panicking thinking that he’d just blown their cover.

“he knows,” Blake responds for Jack, who hides his face in his hands.

“this is disgusting” Jack mutters.

“you told him?” Nico asks, completely bypassing Jack's comment.

“no,” Blake responds before turning to Jack. “wait… how did you find out?”

“Dawson,” Jacks voice is muffled behind his hands.

“Dawson knows?” Nico questions in disbelief.

“I guess we’re not too discreet,” Blake chuckles, causing another loud groan to rip through Jack.

[bundoesnotcompete]

A nice slice of fluff. Reader is kept GN. Reader is to be married to Robin and is a fellow singer, the fanbases react. Less than 1000 words, mostly just a dust bunny of a story.

LEAKS OF ROBIN'S LATEST ALBUM SHOW GUEST SINGER

The release of Robin's latest album is just around the corner! Recent leaks have shown that a special guest is said to appear on it. Just who is this mystery being? Well, its none other than….

FANS TAKE TO SOCIAL MEDIA TO EXPRESS ANGER AT ROBIN'S LATEST ALBUM

Fans of Robin have taken to social media to express their anger at leaks detailing the surprise guest on her newest album. Singer….

You continued to scroll through social media absentmindedly as you laid on the plush couch. People were taking your appearence on Robin's latest album rather well. You had those that were angry but the majority seemed to be excited.

You were known to sing more, how do you put it, preverse songs. Though your latest album was more romantic and loving, your fans were still more unsure about your music shift and guest appearance. You latest album was the best selling one you've had. Though, some of Robin's more rabid fans were losing their mind at having you sing with their idol.

“I've brought snacks.“ Your lover's voice came from the door as she entered. You got up and headed to the kitchen where she was setting snacks on the island counter. You leaned on the counter as she took fruits and cakes out of the bags.

“Wow, you got quite a bit there. I thought you had gone to get stuff for dinner. Instead you came with cake. You must love me too much.“ You teased her. Robin smiled and laughed lightly.

“I got everything else, I just happened to be a little hungry.“ You walked around her and grabbed the other bags and began to put away their contents. You opened the fridge as you began to speak again.

“You know just what i like too, don't you Pretty Dove? All the good stuff.“ You shut the fridge and set the empty bags aside. Robin still faced away from you Anna was focused on setting the island counter right. You wrapped your arms around her waist and hugged her. “I will cook tonight. Are you ready for tomorrow?“

She hummed and smiled. You knew she had been nervous for tomorrow. Between the album debut and your announcement of marriage, she was a bit worried yet excited.

“I think everyone will love our hard work.“ You let go of her when she gently tapped your arm. “I'll help make dinner.“

Dinner was quickly made and consumed. You both decided to go to bed early that night to prepare for the big day tommorow.

FANS ARE RAVING ABOUT ROBIN'S LATEST ALBUM

Robin's latest album has finally dropped and it has fans crying.

“Its so romantic. I wish i had someone to live me like these songs.“ One user wrote on social media this morning.

“I was super worried at first but now im like super happy. I was blown out the water by their voices.“ Another wrote….

ROBIN ANNOUNCES MARRIAGE TO FELLOW SINGER

After the debut of her latest album “Love Across the Cosmos”, Robin has announced that she will be marrying….

ENTERTAINMENT WORLD SHOCKED AT ROBIN'S LATEST ANNOUNCEMENT

Sunday was giving you a strained smile. You knew he was not too fond of you ever since you were children. Declaring that you would marry his sister had angered him as a kid and you two just never have gotten along since. Jokes on him, you were getting to marry her. You were nervous to see your soon to be wife in her dress.

“Calm down, your pacing is going to wear a hole into the floor.“ Sunday stated from his seat in your room. You were about to walk out soon to stand and wait for the love of your life.

“Shut up bird boy. What if something goes wrong. What if she doesn't like how i look? What will everyone else think?“ Your anxiety was worsening. Sunday sighed. He stood up and walked to where you were pacing.

Grabbing your shoulders he spoke, “Listen, I tolerate you because my sister loves you so I am going to only tell you this once. No one is going to say anything wrong and nothing will go wrong. You look fine. She will love your outfit.“ The bell rang outside and Sunday shoved you toward the door. “Now, you've practiced this so everything will be fine. I have made sure of it.“ You nodded to him and walked out.

The next minutes passed by in a blur as you waited for Robin. It was worth it when she did, you breath was taken away by her beauty. You held in tears as she approached. Her smile was obvious as she got closer. She came to a stop beside you and you turned to face her.

As she stood in front of you, you thought of everything you two had been together. From childhood friends to popular singers to now. You both were about to say your vows and make it an offical. The words has come easily to you and only she had to say them back. A distant, childish part of you couldn't wait to rub it in Sunday's face that you got to marry her.

“You may now kiss the bride.“ A single kiss and cheers erupted with the crowd. Robin broke away from you and smiled. She had tears in her eyes.

“I'm so happy I got see you like this.“ She giggled. “Let's go, we've got a cake to cut and a celebration to have.“ She took your hand in hers and you both left to celebrate the days ahead.

OFFICAL PHOTOS FROM ROBIN'S WEDDING RELEASED. CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Tongue Tied | Spencer Reid

Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol use, making out, mentions of sex (nothing explicit, but MDNI!)

Author's note: 

Words: 3.075

Being best friends with Penelope Garcia had its perks and disadvantages. More perks than anything else, to be fair. There has never been a day where I’d been sad for more than five minutes. She was too bubbly, too nice, too overly excited about everything that you just couldn’t be sad around her. 

Being best friends with Penelope Garcia also meant hearing a lot of stories from her job and the cases she worked. Almost every day, she’d call me, no matter what time at night or in the morning – much to my chagrin – and tell me all about the case she’d just wrapped up with her team. Having heard so many stories about her found family, I couldn’t help but be curious to meet them. 

She’s worked at the BAU for eight years now and not once have I had the opportunity to meet the team. Mostly because whenever they had some time off and spent it together, I had my own job to go to. 

But now, I finally got to meet them. 

Penelope was throwing a big party for her 34th birthday and I, along with the rest of her team, was invited. She’d told me she was allowed to use her co-worker, David Rossi’s big-ass mansion and to say I was impressed when I arrived, that would be underselling it. 

Dressed in my favorite red dress, I make my way up to the front door, anxiety wracking my brain. Meeting new people always felt scary, no matter how old I got. There was always that tiny voice in the back of your head, wondering if they were going to like you, if you looked right, if your dress wasn’t too provocative.

I’d changed my outfit about ten times before settling on my first option anyway.

Now that I had arrived, the anxiety settled on my chest right up until the moment when my eyes landed on the familiar figure that was my best friend. 

She let out a shriek as she embraced me. “I’m so happy you could finally make it!” she exclaimed before pulling me inside and guiding me all the way through the house. She was going so fast that I barely had the time to properly look around. 

“Pen. Pen, calm down, please,” I said between chuckles. Right in front of the large sliding doors that led to the garden where the party was in full swing, she halted and looked at me with worry pooling her eyes. 

As Penelope was about four years older than me, she had always felt like a bigger sister. And she often acted that way, too. “What is it? Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine. Just nervous…” I mumbled, sighing desperately. “I’ve never met your friends and it’s been kinda freaking me out, so could we please, take a breather?” 

Penelope’s eyes softened as she looked at me. “Yeah. Yeah, we can take a breather. Hey, how about a cocktail, hmm?” She offered me the glass in her hands, one she had wanted to drink, but decided I needed it more. 

“That’s good, yeah,��� I whispered before taking a sip. 

For a moment, I closed my eyes to get my bearings until Penelope’s voice shook me out of it. “Hey,” she started. “You’re gonna be fine. They already love you from everything I’ve told them. And if they say as much as one bad thing about you, I will not hesitate to hurt them. Bad.” 

The seriousness in her voice and face caused me to crack up, the anxiety washing away as quickly as it came.

“Okay,” I then said and took another sip. “I’m ready to meet your family.” 

With a smile on her face, Penelope guided me outside where her co-workers were dancing on the makeshift dance floor. Before Penelope could start to introduce everyone, I had already made my mind up about everyone from the stories Penelope had told me. 

“All right, everyone,” Penelope started. “This is Y/N Y/L/N, my best friend. Y/N/N, this is–” 

“Aaron Hotchner,” I interrupted her, shaking the tall man’s hand before my cheeks started flushing when I realized what I’d done. “Sorry, Pen has told me so much about all of you. She said how imposing her boss was, so I made the connection…” 

Her co-workers exchanged glances and I could almost detect their impressed glances. “There’s no way you could get all of our names correct from Garcia’s stories,” another one challenged. When I looked up at him, I tilted my head slightly. The thick eyebrows, the sharp jawline, the muscles… 

“Well, I don’t know, you tell me… Chocolate Thunder.” Derek’s eyebrows shot up in surprise while the girls beside him gasped, their jaws dropping in amusement. I turned towards the women. One blonde, one brunette, both with curious eyes looking back at me. “You must be JJ,” I said to the blonde. “And Emily,” I turned to the brunette, shaking each of their hands politely.

“Damn, Garcia, where did you find her?” Derek joked. 

The heat reached up to my cheeks, creeping all the way up to the tips of my ears. “She’s profiling us,” another voice piped up and when my eyes met his, I swore my heart skipped a beat or two. 

Dr. Spencer Reid. Penelope had told me enough about him. Resident genius. Child prodigy with an IQ of 187. Reading speed of 20,000 words per minute. The most gorgeous pair of eyes I had ever seen – though that was something I’d deducted in the five seconds he looked at me. 

“I-I’m a psychiatrist,” I explained to them. “Sometimes, I have to profile people too, though in different ways than you guys do.” As I glanced up at all of them, they just looked back at me with intrigued shimmers in their eyes. I felt a little more at ease now that the ice had been broken, but I still couldn’t quell every ounce of anxiety that resided on my chest. 

“Okay, enough chit-chat!” Penelope exclaimed excitedly before grabbing another cocktail for herself and lifting the glass in the air. 

I, along with the rest of her team, mimicked her movements until all our glasses were raised and clinking. “To Penelope,” David Rossi announced and all of us just repeated the words, having the girl herself squeal excitedly. 

Just then, the music on the speakers switched to ABBA’s Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight), causing Penelope and I to gasp in excitement. This was the song that brought us together in the first place when we met in a bar nine years ago during a night out and we were the only ones dancing. Safe to say it had been dubbed ‘our song’ ever since. 

Along with Emily and JJ, Penelope and I took to the dancefloor, singing along loudly. I didn’t even need to be drunk to let myself go. With this song, I could be stone cold sober and still be dancing on tabletops. 

“Is there a man out there?” We sang as I pointed at Spencer the same way the other girls pointed at the other guys to get them to join us. A surprised look washed over the Doctor as I danced over to him and grabbed his hand to drag him towards the middle of the dancefloor. 

The eight of us danced the night away. From ABBA to Rihanna and everything in between, Penelope and I made sure everyone stayed on that dance floor with their drinks topped up, always. I fit right in with them. Everything felt so natural that I cursed at myself for being so anxious about this night. There was no reason for me to, at all. 

Three drinks in, I was pretty buzzed and overwhelmed with the happiness and contentment I felt, that I needed to step out. “Pen,” I captured her attention. “Can you show me to the bathroom?” 

“I’ll show you,” Spencer cut in, having caught my question to my best friend. 

I smiled up at him – God, he was so tall – and nodded my head. “Okay. Yeah, sure.”

“Be good, you two,” Penelope almost warned as Spencer and I made our way towards the house. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Chuckling, I turned around, but kept walking backwards. “So, I can do everything?!” I teased, ignoring how my cheeks heated up, flustered at the suggestion of Spencer and I doing anything at all. 

I fell back into step with Spencer, allowing the silence to wrap around us while we made our way to the house. My head felt light and my senses were hyper-aware of the presence next to me. I could smell his cologne – fresh and citrusy – and I could hear his even breaths. 

“There you go,” he then said as we were inside and he pointed to a door on the right. I was almost sad our little walk was over, even if we hadn’t said a word to one another. I liked just being around him, it seemed. 

I flashed him a smile. “Thank you, Spencer,” I said before ducking into the bathroom. It wasn’t even like I needed to go, but I went anyway, just to be sure with all those drinks. When I finished, I washed my hands and splashed some water in my face. How did my cheeks still feel this hot? 

After taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the bathroom to rejoin the rest of the party when movement in the living room piqued my interest. I turned the corner to find Spencer going through the books on Rossi’s shelves. 

He waited for me, something in me said, but I refrained myself from saying it out loud in case I read it wrong. 

“You’re still here,” I pointed out instead, capturing the man’s attention. 

His eyes filled with brightness as they landed on me and his smile was equally as dazzling, almost knocking the wind out of me. “I waited for you,” he told me sweetly, his tone dipped in honey, much like his eyes. 

“Y-you waited for me?” I stuttered, trying to wrap my head around the fact that the voice in my head wasn’t wrong. 

He approached me, tucking his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, I-I kinda wanted to show you something…” he muttered before cautiously reaching out a hand. My eyes flicked from his face to his hand and back before placing my hand in his. 

While my stomach tied itself in knots from the somersaults it was doing, I let Spencer guide me up to the balcony on the side of the house where we looked down on the party happening down below. I couldn’t help but smile as my eyes caught onto Penelope dancing with Rossi like their life depended on it. 

The graze of Spencer’s fingers on the palm of my hand shook me out of my thoughts. I glanced up at him to find him gazing down at me with a tender smile and shimmering eyes of honey. He then pointed up to the sky. 

“Look up,” he said softly and I obeyed, craning my neck back until my eyes caught onto the stars above us. Next thing I know, Spencer grabbed my hand and lifted it to draw something in the sky. “That’s Orion,” he told me. “Did you know Orion contains two of the brightest stars in the night sky?” 

“No, I did not know that,” I whispered, trying to ignore him intertwining his fingers with mine as he dropped our hands back to our sides. 

Spencer hummed. “Stars are always perfectly in balance,” he then continued and when I glanced up at him, his gaze was focused on the sky above us. “You might not realize it, but stars are in constant conflict with themselves. The collective gravity of all the mass of a star is pulling it inward. If there was nothing to stop it, the star would just continue collapsing for millions of years until it became its smallest possible size; maybe as a neutron star. But–” he stopped himself as his eyes locked with mine. “I’m rambling, aren’t I?” 

“No!” I answered a little too quickly and a little too feverishly, so I recomposed myself as quickly. “No, I-It’s actually really interesting. I’ve never really known much about stars. All I know about is the human brain and its mental capacities and flaws.” 

A smile graced his beautiful features. “I bet your brain is beautiful,” he blurted out, his cheeks reddening almost instantly when he realized he’d said it out loud. “I-I’m sorry, that was–” 

“The most beautiful compliment anyone has ever given me,” I finished his sentence, smiling, endeared by his confession. “I bet your brain is beautiful, too.” I turned towards him, keeping my hand entwined with his. 

Spencer was looking down at me, the gears behind his eyes clearly going in overdrive as he thought of something to say. It appeared as though I had rendered him silent and I couldn’t help but smirk at the achievement. 

“Did I leave you tongue tied, Dr. Reid?” I asked teasingly, squeezing his hand ever so softly. 

Honey eyes looked into mine, searching for the answer he needed. When he had found the answer, he suddenly cupped my face and captured my lips with his in a hesitant, testing kiss. For a second he pulled back, trying to gauge my reaction with his forehead pressed against mine. My brain was swimming with excitement while my stomach filled with fluttering butterflies. 

“Did I leave you tongue tied, Dr. Y/L/N?” he shot the question back, teasingly. He had gained some confidence back and, above all, it seemed to do something with the chemicals in my brain as I shut it off entirely and went back in. 

My lips slotted perfectly with his. I tilted my head ever so slightly, deepening the kiss. His fingers played with the strands of hair that had escaped my intricate updo while mine had landed on his chest, pulling him impossibly closer by his tie. 

After a while, I needed to come up for air and broke away from the kiss, but still kept him close. My mind was going into overdrive as every single part of me tingled. I felt his every fiber on my skin and I wanted to absorb every possible second I had this man close to me. 

“Maybe we should go back to the party,” I whispered. 

“Maybe we should.” 

“YOU HAD SEX WITH HIM?!” Penelope practically shrieked the next day when I debriefed her on what happened between Spencer and me when we had escaped the party. 

I buried my face in one of the many pillows on her couch and let out a groan. “Yes, I did. I’m so sorry, Pen! It just– It just happened! I don’t know how, we were looking at the stars one moment and the next, he’s kissing me and then suddenly, BOOM! He’s inside me!”

“Damn,” Penelope whispered, everything finally clicking in her brain. “DAMN, I didn’t know our Boy Wonder had so much game!” She almost sounded proud of her co-worker. “Was he any good?” 

“PEN!” I threw the pillow at her cackling form. “Yes, he actually was very good,” I then muttered once the initial embarrassment had died down a little. “Easily top three for me.” 

Penelope’s eyes widened as she plopped down next to me on the couch. “NO!” 

“Yes…” 

Her bottom lip jutted out into a pout. “You two would make the most beautiful geniuses.” 

“Woah, pump your breaks there, Pen,” I chuckled, hitting her with yet another pillow to bring her back to reality. “This was just a one-time-thing. Don’t go ringing the wedding bells so quickly.” 

A smirk landed on her lips. “But you want it to be more than a one-time-thing, don’t you?” she teased. “Yeah, you’re not a one-time-thing-person at all. You’re a cute-date-boyfriend-girlfriend-type of girl.” 

I hated that she knew me so well. Ever since saying goodbye to Spencer at my apartment last night, I haven’t been able to think about anything else but his beautiful honey-colored eyes and the gorgeous smile that grazed his lips so often. 

“Should I ask him out?” I then pondered out loud, earning an excited shriek from my best friend. 

Just as she wanted to add something, her phone started ringing. A hint of terror flashed over her face as she reached over for the device. She was probably scared it was work calling her in for a case on her day off.

Her smirk quickly returned. “Speak of the devil,” she muttered before picking up. “Hey, Reid. We were just talking about you.” 

My eyes widened in shock. Spencer wasn’t supposed to know I went straight to my best friend with every detail of our night together. Though he should’ve expected it. Maybe he did. 

“Yeah, she’s right here,” Penelope’s voice snapped me out of my own head, her eyes fixated on me. “Yeah, sure.” She then reached the phone out to me. Hesitantly, I took over the device and pressed it to my ear whilst getting up from the couch and moving away from Penelope. 

“Hi Spencer,” I greeted awkwardly. 

“Hey, y/n. Uhm… I just–I wanted to call you but since I don’t have your number, I figured I could call Garcia to ask for it, but since you are there…” He trailed off a little. I could hear the smile in his voice as he talked, sending shivers down my body. “I was just wondering… If, maybe, you’d want to go out for coffee later today? I’m sure you’re nursing a hangover right about now and I read somewhere–”

“I’d love to, Spencer,” I quickly cut him off, too eager to listen to his ramblings. A silence fell on the other side of the line. A smirk landed on my lips as I just listened to his soft breathing. “Did I leave you tongue tied, Dr. Reid?” I asked, repeating last night’s question. 

A chuckle rolled off his lips. “I think you’re always gonna leave me tongue tied, Doctor.”

At that moment, I realized I wanted to leave him tongue tied more often. As long as he could overwhelm me with all his facts and genius ideas between those moments, I’d probably be the happiest and luckiest woman in the world. 

As long as he left me tongue tied, too. 

Everything taglist: @calamitykaty @littlemissaddict @n0wornever @wanniiieeee @unnowhatthisistbh

[v-tired-queer]

⚠️ Post trigger warnings: mentions of people being queerphobic, mentions of past mental and emotional abuse, mentions of using religion to justify being a jerk, descriptions of physical symptoms of anxiety, mentions of parents passing away

- - -

It took me two months and a bit to realize that the way the inside of my body suddenly feels cold, the way my stomach feels like its dropped, why I need to take deeper breaths to feel like I'm actually getting good air, and the way my body starts to shake uncontrollably around WICS (Woman I Can't Stand--it's the most polite thing I can call her) is all due to a panic response. I haven't had a panic attack since high school, so suddenly going back to having physical symptoms of my anxiety threw me for a loop. I thought I was dehydrated.

It's such a strange sensation for me. Mentally, I'm not really panicking, at least not at the forefront of my mind. WICS can't do anything to me. She has no say in what does or doesn't happen in this house, she doesn't live here, and she can't do anything with my stuff. The worst she can do (and continues to do) is run her mouth and be, simply put, mean and annoying. I wondered why she, specifically, invokes such a strong reaction out of me, and then I realized: she's just enough like everyone who's abused me all rolled into one.

She's mentally and emotionally tormented me since the day I had to decide to take my mother off of life support in ways that my ex step-father would be proud of. She hides behind religion to excuse her bigotry and carries around a self righteous attitude that makes my dad look like an atheist. She argues with her mother more than my parents did, and that took up 90% of my childhood. She mouths off about me and voices her very loud objections about the way I live my life (in relation to me being queer) to everyone she can behind my back like we're in high school. And the one time I had a seizure around her she chose to do absolutely nothing--not even put a pillow under my head--and complain about me to her sister on the phone instead, like basic first aid is a privilege I don't deserve.

Just one more week, give or take. One more week and then I'll be out of this God forsaken house and away from these people for the rest of my life. I won't have to deal with her or anyone else here anymore. I'll be safe. I'll be okay. I can finally move forward.

And the best part that probably makes me at least a little bit petty? They don't know when I'm leaving, which means they don't know when my brother will be coming by for the appliances and shelves that belonged to our mother.

Hey, we're just following Biblical law: it says that he, being both the son and the oldest, inherited our parents belongings when they passed. He agreed to take said he wanted them, and it's his right to have them. Sorry, WICS. She'll just have to get her own coffee maker and kitchen shelves 💁🏼😌

[aphrothiti]

I love how you associated Rapunzel with Ashwini and I totally agree with you. I’m an Ashwini moon and she’s my favorite Disney princess. What Nakshatra would you put for Elsa?

Ooo that’s an interesting one

Maybe Ashelsha? If I could summarise her story it would be like

-“cursed” with special ability

-unintentionally hurts loved ones

-is isolated and grows emotionally cold

-when reentering the outside world, hurts others again out of fear

-Anna almost dies as a consequence and Elsa begs for forgiveness, so Anna and everyone else is saved

-Even after the happy ending, she goes to live in the mountains as she feels like an outsider

There may be some discrepancies since I haven’t watched either films since Frozen 2 came out back in 2019.

This story makes me think of Ashlesha’s mythology where the Nagas get cursed and must repent in order for it to be lifted, “repentance” for Elsa would be when she is forced to take accountability for her actions when Anna nearly dies.

Ashlesha has become infamous for its poisonous quality that often hurts the people around them when it goes unchecked. A lot of the time their “poison” is unresolved grief turned into avoidance and resentment. Being the clinging star, they like often can’t cope with the feeling of losing others so they turn themselves inward and get defensive.

I loveee the Hidden Octave’s video on Ashlesha and I recommend anyone to watch it when they get the chance.

Back on point, Elsa’s ice power is her poison and it’s only when she lets others in through her defences and heals her anxiety around losing Anna, that this poison becomes medicine. Ashlesha’s symbol the coiled serpent resembling the caduceus (the snakes outside pharmacies), poison and medicine are two sides of the same coin.

It’s also outcaste Ashleshas can feel like outsiders even within their own family. But it may also be sometimes a ketu/saturn trait.

Idina Menzel is either an Ashelsha or Magha moon👀 magha would kind of work too since royalty yk

I guess you could also consider her to be a little Jyesthacoded especially in relation to her younger sister Anna (Rohini). But lmk what you think

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i held an intervention for my cousin?

strap in bc this is gonna be long, but first i need to introduce this little cast of characters: I (26f), my sister (23f) and my cousin (22f) are literally the only young ones in my family. my fathers siblings never married, and i have only my mother's sister (50sthF) who has married and also has a kid. so this made us kind of close since we were kids, especially my sister and my cousin (due to their close ages) were always together. we did live far from each other, and could only meet one or two times in a year.

my cousin and my sister have ocd. i have depression. we all have anxieties. my aunt and my mother both have anger issues, so we kind of can guess what kind of house my cousin is living in. and also from what we could see during our short visits. so yeah, we're all fucked up, but ever since i started therapy and forced my sister to go as well, things started to change. my cousin kept making excuses about money issues, and not really needing any therapy, but her ocd started spiraling down very quickly after her cat got sick last year (we'll get to that soon).

so here's where the problem lies: my cousin has ocd, and needs to constantly ask for approval. she also has severe separation anxiety, to the point that she cant even think about a family member or her cat dying. and see, i get that! we also had beloved pets who died and honestly it still fucks us up, but she is getting delusional about it. god forbid we mention that the cat is now an old lady, or say that shes not as sharp/agile as she was before—this makes her cry immediately. also her ocd is very focused on her cat: she thinks she can carry diseases to her cat, she gets hysterical if we change our clothes near the cats bowl, asks everyone repeatedly if sth unrelated might make the cat sick. shes also of the belief that if someone uses an insect spray, then the poison will stay there till she goes to that place and carries the poison to her cat and making her sick. we kept explaining to her that if the sprays would work like that then we wouldnt suffer from a serious ant infestation for the third year in a row, but as it goes with ocd, she just cant accept it. she only believes what her mother says, and well. her mother gets agitated Very Quickly and they start fighting which makes everything worse.

usually id interfere and tell my aunt to just get along with my cousin as shes going through therapy and medication, and i saw it first hand on my sister that it takes time for ocd to get calmer. its not like oh u started therapy? why arent u already performing like a mentally healthy person?? this is what i suffered from when i first started my therapy. but my aunts main issue isnt her ocd. the ocd is par for the course—the main problem is that my cousin never helps around the house.

we knew this, since we have been together forever, that my cousin never works. she complains a lot, even snaps if u ask her to do two things at once (even if its like hey check the kettle and btw put this glass in the sink as well). and my aunt has zero tolerance for her attitude, which leads to her doing the chore herself and well this kind of encourages my cousin to get away from the chores by complaining. she was like this ever since we were KIDS. she'd play with us and make a mess, but when we were supposed to clean everything shed either not do a thing (saying "i dont know how to" even to simple things like put the thing in the basket) or shed just. vanish. whenever we ate lunch or dinner, shed immediately go to the bathroom, and come out after everything was cleaned and washed. and before u say there might be sth else, it really wasnt. she even admitted to it later. she just didnt want to do a single shit. and well, now that shes older, its getting kind of upsetting. whenever she's alone at home she does NOTHING. and when my aunt comes back from her trip SHES the one who has to clean after my cousin, even tho she has just arrived home. this is why no matter how much she asks us to go stay with her when shes alone, we never go. bc we dont want to clean after her. or when she comes over to our house she just. barely does a thing.

this is taking a huge mental and physical toll on my aunt, bc shes physically disabled (severe migraines caused by a bubble in her head, and recently due to her bad workplace her right hand and arm are also not doing well), and even tho she kind of brought this on herself (but indirectly encouraging my cousins behavior), its still really upsetting. whenever we go to their house, my sister and i try to shoulder a part of chores, bc 1) our aunt shouldn't have to do everything by herself and 2) we were taught to help. my parents never had any tolerance for us slacking off.

cut to last week when we went to their house, and it was a huge war zone. my aunt kept shouting at my cousin for things that werent her fault (like her asking for approval or complaining about sth someone did), and on the other hand my cousin kept dodging the chores, and when my aunt asked her to do ONE thing she kept snapping at her and complaining like it was a huge deal (it really wasnt. example: my aunt asked her to put her clothes which she had already folded and put on her bed away. my cousin snapped at her that she would do it and she should get off her back and then kept complaining that her folded clothes arent bothering anyone and she shouldnt be forced to put them away. this is not an exaggeration.) i also realized that part of the problem with their relationship was how my cousin kept complaining about everything to my aunt, which makes my aunt go insane bc she needs a break from the negativity, but my cousin is very clingy and would call her multiple times a day just to bitch about sth. and hey, i also bitch about things to my mother, but i dont call her that much when shes/im away, and also i try to balance it with good fun stories. i know my cousin isnt like having a very bad life, she just likes to complain about everything. but this, coupled with her insistent need for approval, and her clinginess, makes for a bad recipe.

so, when i finally had a private moment with my cousin, i told her that she needs to do chores, and this would do wonders to the current tension! i said this very gently and very quickly bc i didnt want my aunt to overhear us, and my cousin started crying and nodding and said she would try. this made me feel a bit calmer about the whole situation, until the next fucking day when my grandparents came to my aunts house and my cousin, u guessed, did nothing to help my aunt. at one point my sister found her kissing her cat instead of setting the table, and it made us both extremely mad.

i think that gently talking with her wont do good, bc she'd probably do the same thing again. i feel like i need to be more stern and a little bit harsher to hammer the point home, bc apparently she doesnt understand anything unless its shouted at her. im not gonna shame her or anything, im just gonna say that she needs to a) continue her therapy (which she has dropped for 5 months) b) take her pills regularly (which she doesnt) c) enforce a clear boundary between herself and her mother no matter how close they and d) do the chores. if she doesnt do these stuff, then she wont be able to get any sympathy from me, and my sister. also cant complain about it anymore if she's not going to do any fucking thing to improve her situation.

so, wibta?

What are these acronyms?

[shiftingtomydrs]

descendants dr (rs with other vks)

Mal: so were basically kinda similar from the personality type (in my cr as well tbh haha if you put out the social anxiety and shit) so we clash sometimes but were like sisters and she sometimes thinks im naïve and tries to take advantage of me (like with the love spell thing e.g. or the whole wand plan in general) but I look right through that and she respects that lmao doesn’t stop her from trying tho.

Evie: she and i are good friends but like her and mal are a bit closer bcs they got to know each other earlier but were kinda like a trio (evie and I bond a lot over that we both like auradon opposite to mal in the first 2 movies). Also we both share the love for like clothes and taking the time to look put together iykwim?

Carlos: hes like a little brother to me, we all know Cruella treats him like a slave and my mom ignores me completely so we bond over that and also idk he just reminds me of my sibling lmao

Jay: idk before the movies happen were kinda friends of friends aka we know each other bcs my friends are also friends with him (sounds a bit mean now that I say it out loud) like we still get along and stuff but were not like friends yk? I don’t really like the womanizer thing he has going on (I find it childish haha sorry not sorry) and he doesn’t really like that im ‘stuck up and hate fun’ (his words not mine). once were through all that shit we grow closer together tho.

Uma: she used to be friends with mal and when mal and her fell out she by extension started to hate me and everyone else bcs we didn’t drop mal for her (I know a person like that in rl and believe me its not fun) I tried to stay friendly with her bcs friends are hard to come across on the isle but she just completely cut me off and ignored me

Harry: used to have a crush on me which is also why hes so keen on slicing ben open lmao he was a bit creepy like too straight forward and wouldn’t take no for an answer (idk he just strikes me as the type tbh)

[mango-fizz]

ALL of My Splatoon Agents Headcanons! lets gooo 💫 this will be VERY long akdhjsdhs sorry grab a cup of tea or something.

Agent 3 (Captain): They/Them, Lofted Bed with Desk underneath

Three doesn't talk very often, only when it's absolutely necessary. In Alterna, Marie mentions that they're too shy to really speak out loud, so she speaks for them, and I read once that selective muteness is a sort of extreme anxiety response. They don't really talk to strangers or people they're not very close to, for instance Neo 3, Off the Hook, or Deep Cut lmao. They definitely talk openly with the Squid Sisters and 4 and 8 (and of course, Gramps), but will usually prefer not to if it's not necessary.

They're super badass and responsible, always getting things done in an efficient manner and doing their best with every mission. I mean, how else do you think they became Captain, right? But they also might be a little insecure, a little anxious. Yes they do their best in missions, but that's because they desperately want to be useful, because they're worried something might go wrong, things like that. They even drop out of school to be an Agent full-time (again, Captain)

In regards to the other Agents, they're kind of stern and aloof, but more in like the tired oldest sibling kind of way. Don't eat that, don't go there, you'll catch a cold, etc, taking care of the newer recruits. They picked this up from Callie and Marie, who did the same for them when they first joined. Neo 3's reckless tendencies remind them of their younger self.

Now, I mention all of this in my fics, so I'll keep it brief. Three is reckless, always pushing themselves even when they shouldn't and regularly forgetting to take care of themselves (thats when they were younger, they're definitely better about it now). They carry a sort of guilt, a sort of anxiety, about the events of Splatoon 2, and I mean both of them. They feel bad for almost killing Eight like twice, even if the second time wasn't really their fault, and they feel bad for not helping Callie when she needed it, which is also not their fault. But, you see, Callie and Marie are their older sisters. Their family. A precious part of their life that they were lucky enough to obtain when they previously had nothing. So, yeah, I guess they feel a certain type of way about what happened.

Oh, also! Sanitization scar, yeah its there, maybe not as big as everyone else draws it but it's definitely there sjfhsjdhs on their forehead splitting their right eyebrow, it's a bit like a cut. It's covered by their Captain hat now, but even then the teal green has definitely dulled over the years. Now it's just a grim reminder and nothing more.

Three used to live alone in an apartment in Inkopolis that the Squid Sisters had generously offered them. Living alone is difficult. Thankfully, Four and Eight arrived, and now they're all roommates :)

Three is, again, a bit aloof n shit, always trying to be responsible and cool, but the younger agents are experts at cracking that facade. Three is actually super soft for them!! They definitely make jokes and snort at things Four says. Hums along with songs Eight listens to and compliments her poetry.

Three thinks they're a bit annoying, Four particularly, but they also always always always help them when they're sad, or hurt (not that it happens often, they're all capable agents after all). That's what older siblings are for, after all. Isn't that great? Three has 4 siblings now! And a gramps! I'm so happy for them.

I tried to keep this short but basically all my Agent 3/Captain feelings can be found in these two fics. I poured my heart and soul into them! [Family] [Home]

DJ Sango. I don't know what to make of DJ Sango but I'm eagerly awaiting the Squid Sisters collab. Agent 3 is the secret third Squid Sister, after all.

Agent 4: She/Her, Top Bunk

I feel like Four is more…… outgoing? She's the youngest and the shortest. She's the baby. She gets Eight to do stupid shit with her and then they both get (very fondly) lectured by Three. Sometimes she convinces Three to join in and then they all get lectured by Marie instead lmao. She's kinda……. like a gremlin. A Creature. She does her best :) She's trying so hard. She's very energetic. I think she would do her best to make Eight feel welcome and comfortable and make sure that she's having fun :))

Four didn't really understand, at first. I mean, what she went through doesn't even compare to what happened in the metro, yknow? She's definitely the most, how do i say, optimistic? She usually is the one who has to do most of the comforting, but she doesn't mind. Sometimes Eight has a nightmare, and Three and Four have to comfort her. Sometimes Three needs help with their head injury, so Four and Eight have to take care of them, and that's okay.

She likes helping people, and cheering them up. That's why she helped Marie in the first place, right? She just looked so sad in the corner of the Square... Four is happy that she was able to help :) Truly, they all appreciate it more than she knows. And of course, Four is besties with Callie and Marie. Four and Callie can match each other's energy easily sjfhsjdhsj and... she was there for Marie during her lowest point so... she's very grateful :)

In the time after getting Callie back, sometimes she would go and check up on them. It's not her responsibility, she's already done more than Marie could ever repay, but she cares about them, and... it's not like she has anywhere else to go.

She comes from the countryside canonically, and also didn't know who the Squid Sisters were, but for some reason I see her as being very streetsmart and things like that. Maybe she didn't know who the Squid Sisters were before, but she definitely does now, and bonds with Eight over their love for the idols.

A bit after they all moved in with Three, Marie made Four and Eight go back to school, bummer. (This matters to no one else but me, but the high school Four and Eight go to is the same high school Callie and Marie went to.)

Four is a natural athlete, but a bit of a troublemaker. After school she likes to go play turf and do a few Grizzco shifts. Imagine her surprise when she finds out about Mr. Grizz 💀

Four is very physically affectionate, always hugging or otherwise touching the other agents. Shoving, poking, patting, punching, holding, bonking, you name it. I've definitely projected that onto the agents lmao. I'm pretty sure I've made them bonk heads with each other as a form of affection like three times now.

If Four doesn't show up in Side Order, you'll never hear from me again on account of my spontaneous combustion.

Agent 8: She/Her, Bottom Bunk.

I feel like Eight would be generally more curious/nervous about everything since, I mean, she just got to the surface yknow? (also amnesia I think.??). Also, she doesn't know inkling very well, but that's okay, she's learning! Marina helps her :)  (when Marina is busy, Shiver fills in 🤫) But, maybe by Splatoon 3 she's good enough at it that she doesn't need lessons anymore. I mean, it has been 5 years. Okay look I just want an excuse for all the Octolings to interact with each other is that too much to ask? But that's a bit difficult because Marina and Eight have more in common with their upbringing than Shiver, but that's a topic for another day.

Eight is just happy to be here!! She is incredibly strong, agile, and good with any weapon :) Think of Yor Forger. Very strong, sometimes without realizing it. A little clueless, a little silly. Red and black color scheme. As a result of this I think she would try to be very very gentle as much as possible, but she still enjoys playfully roughhousing with the other agents. She also makes a lot of goofy facial expressions. You'd think this would be Four, but no, it's her ksfhhfsdkfjh

So... the metro. Right. I think... Eight carries a sort of sadness with her. At least at first, right? It's... tough. Having to adjust to everything, losing your memory, coping with The Horrors tm. That's why she'll always be grateful to Off the Hook for offering her a place to stay at the Houzuki mansion during her first days in Inkopolis. Marina's been there, so she offers much comfort. Pearl also does her best to make her feel welcome and safe, like she did with Rina. Eventually she does go move in with Three and Four though because... because I said so ksfhjkfjhf

Eight is afraid of blenders. Autobombs.

It took a while for Three and Eight to really become... what's the word I'm looking for. Stable? I mentioned Three carrying unnecessary guilt. Eight doesn't hold it against them, of course not. But, I mean, have you seen that shit? I never played Inner Agent 3 but just watching a video of it has me awake at night dude that shit is scary as fuck. Three splashdowns in a row? Dear god. Anyway, they made up and it's chill now so it's fine. Still no blenders though.

Eight loves Off the Hook, and she loves the Squid Sisters. Calamari Inkantation and all that. Wait til she hears the banger of the century Ink Me Up dude that shit goes insanely hard. Actually, wouldn't it be so fucking funny if Eight came up one day like "Guys, I'm so obsessed with this song by a group from the Splatlands, they're called Deep Cut!" and then when Deep Cut show up as Marie's new employees she's like holy shit.

She goes to school with Four and it's the most fun she's ever had in her life (that she can remember), she doesn't understand why Four hates it so much. She's also obviously very naturally athletic, but she enjoys the arts and literature a lot more. Because she writes poetry lol 🤓

She's happy to stay an agent, I think. Maybe not on the front lines like Captain and the Squid Sisters are, but she's available as backup should she ever be needed. She wants to focus on her new life on the surface with her wonderful new family. She doesn't even remember if she had any parents, let alone friends. But now, she has all these people who care about and support her. For that, she would claw her way out of the Metro a hundred times over again. She loves them.

........So, Side Order, huh? Hehehehehe.

Damn. That's crazy.

Neo 3: They/Them, Living Arrangement Unknown

I think Neo being a gen Z kid is the funniest shit ever.

They're the hardest to think up a personality for, I don't really know what to make of them. I think they would be kind of epic, yknow? 🗿  They have no idea who any of these people are or what is happening, how did they even get into this mess bruh. Well, at least they get to hang out with Deep Cut so thats a plus. I think Neo and Four would get along the best, they both kinda have that chaotic energy, I feel. I would say Neo is like halfway between Captain and Four, personality-wise.

There's like,,,, a very vague botw Link vibe going on with them. Not sure though. I mean, look, they hang out in the desert and also have a salmonid for a pet. Like, what's goin on with all that.

They're generally very chill about everything that happened in Alterna (existentialism aside.)

"Why didn't I tell you that I went to space? Dunno. You never asked. 'S whatever. Yo, wanna see Little Buddy do a trick?"

~*~

I am holding you at knifepoint to watch this person's channel, because they deadass rearranged my entire brain chemistry (here is their twitter).

And also, this person's channel, because I greatly enjoy their agents content and it makes me giggle (here is their insta).

Both of these are important to understand how I came to characterize the Agents the way I do.

If you made it this far, I thank you profusely for reading!! These funny little guys mean a lot to me. Splatoon in general means a lot to me. Man. Damn. Fuck. I haven't even gotten into the Squid Sisters.

Anyway. Thank you so much. I hope you were at least entertained by my rambling and I hope you have a great rest of your day! I love you 💕

[hazel-of-sodor]

Something Holy This Way Comes

Ch.19 Outburst

Other Stories

Other Chapters

Sunday morning Screech was basking in a patch of sunlight alongside Tyto, the sisters enjoying the rare moment of relaxation together when they heard an angry scream shatter out from somewhere in town. A wall of midnight black shot out from the source of the scream with the sound of shattering ice.

Tyto lazily opened an eye, “it seems someone finally tickled your daughter off.”

She yelped as Screech flicked her.

“She lasted longer than I expected,” Screech said lazily, stretching her valve gear with a groan.

Tyto raised an eyebrow, “You’re not going to check on her?”

“She is on her way here already.”

Mali stormed around the corner, her tendrils, normally the length of her hair, trailed behind her like a cloak of midnight, her emerald eyes burning like stars. Megan followed behind nervously, although the engines sensed her anxiety was for Mali rather than of her.

“I said leave me alone.” Mail snapped at the other girl, causing both 47xx’s to raise an eyebrow at the teen’s hostility.

Something in Megan’s face hardened, “No.”

“Oh don't act like you don't agree with them.” Mali spat.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Megan demanded.

“I've noticed you pull away since I was changed. You fear me, just like everyone else.”

“Enough.” Screech rumbled, tendrils rising.

Neither girl listened.

Mali stepped closer glaring at the other girl, “Admit it, you think I'm a freak, a devil, just like everyone else.” she spat.

Megan stepped closer, refusing to back down, “well forgive me for trying to give you time to adjust. It's not like you came within seconds of your soul being ripped apart.”

“It WAS ripped apart! And I'm tired of everyone pretending it WASN’T!!!” Mali roared, a wave of black crashing out from her, Tyto was shoved back from the force, the air fracturing around them with the sound of breaking glass. Ice raced along the ground, coating the rails and turning their breath into clouds. The sun disappeared as the sky was cast into a black as deep as the void. Screech had shot her tendrils out to shield Megan, but there was no need, as the wave parted around the other teen like water around the rock.

Megan stepped forward and caught Mali as she collapsed, exhausted.

“I’m not scared of you, you idiot,” she said exasperatedly, “I was scared for you.”

Golden light flowing over the teens heralded Cassandra's arrival.

“Where did you come from?” Tyto asked in shock, “aren't you supposed to be at Din right now?”

“The Lady wanted me to check on Mali.”

“...that does nothing to answer my question.”

“Are you alright Little Thief?”

Mali groaned as Megan helped her sit.

 “Not really. Everyone's either scared of me or calling me a devil. What little progress I've made with my parents is gone and…,” Mali trailed off crying.

Megan pulled her girlfriend into a hug, “We’re all scared for you.” She assured softly, “not of you.”

‘It doesn't feel that way,” Mali admitted, “it feels like everyones scared I'm gonna snap.”

Megan hesitated, “We were, but not for the reason you think. We never thought you would hurt us, we were afraid it would hurt you.”

Mali stared, clearly confused, “what?”

“You’re mortal.” Cassandra said quietly. They were afraid your body couldn't take the stress.”

“Oh…”

Screech gently stroked Mali’s tendrils with her own, “You are loved Little Thief. Your loved one's fear is because of that. Not in spite of it.”

Mali leaned into Screech's tendrils.

“Now, tell me who has been calling you a devil so I may show them a true example.”

Mali snorted wetly, “thank you but I don’t…

“The boys who used to follow Johnny Harris around.” Megan said. Mali shot her a betrayed look but Megan met her eyes without remorse, “they have been tormenting you for too long. Its past time for it to be stopped.”

“Don't you think setting Screech on them is a bit much?”

“It worked for Johnny Harris.’ Gywn said as he and Freda came around the corner.

“That's more because he doesn't have time to mess with us anymore,” Megan said smugly.

“That's probably why they started back up,” Mali said quietly, “they blame us for the fact he no longer has time for them.”

Meagan rolled her eyes, “because God forbid he be blamed for his own actions.”

Mali looked over to Freda nervously, ‘I didn't hurt anyone did I?

“Nothing a few minutes in the sun won't set right,” Freda shrugged uncaringly, “and even if you had, everyone saw the boys provoking you. They tried to blame you, but didn't know Reverend William saw the whole thing. He dragged them away to help clean the church orchard till their parents have time to come retrieve them.”

“Do you trust he has the situation in hand?”

Gywn nodded, “Gareth doubtlessly has them regretting looking at Mali, he's a firm believer in using hard work for discipline.”

“Very well. I will allow him the chance to rectify their behavior,” Screech grudgingly allowed with a sigh. The Reverend was a kind and genuine man, always making sure to greet the engines whenever he was near the railway, and had taken her existence in stride in a way even the Uman and Din crews had struggled with. None of that changed the fact he had a spine of steel just as strong as any engine's frames, and was known to have little patience for those who mistreated others.

Freda nodded and turned to Mali, “Now Mali…”

“I know I know,” Mali said, “I shouldn't have lost my temper.”

Freda frowned and walked over, gently taking her hands, “No dear, no one is mad at you for losing your temper. No one worth listening to anyway…but you need help. It's clear none of us understand what you went through…I doubt anyone but Screech or Cassandra do, but they're engines, they think quite differently than we do.”

The engines all nodded in agreement.

Freda continued, “you need someone to help you through this, and none of us have that skill, no matter how deeply we wish we did.”

Mali stared at the ground, “...you want me to see a therapist.”

“Yes,” Freda said softly. “leaving you to work through it alone is not an option, and none of us would have any idea what we're doing.”

Mali considered for a moment, but then her face fell, “I doubt they would even believe me.”

“That I can help with,” Cassandra spoke up, “I know the therapist Stephen saw after his encounter with the beast. They already know enough to believe you.”

“Would they even be willing to come all the way from Sodor?” Mali asked.

“Absolutely, and if for whatever reason they couldn’t, there are others in the know.”

Mali looked down for a long moment, hesitating, “... If they're willing…I’ll try it.”

[wrenwrights]

My Konig Headcanons (Konig's Past)

First off, I'd like to thank everyone who read and enjoyed Afterlife. That was my first work on Ao3, and I really appreciate all of the Kudos and Comments. I checked my Ao3 and nearly jumped out of my computer chair, I was proud and excited that people liked my little one-shot. Again, thank you guys so much!

Since I started working on my little project, I've had to develop Konig's character since the fandom has given so little information on him. But, dear reader, that's honestly never stopped me before. So here is the headcanons/backstory I've got for Konig so far. It goes from childhood up to the point of meeting the main character. Now! Onto the headcanons! I'd like to mention first that these headcanons are specifically for the fic that I'm working on, and many are in no way to cannon to the actual lore of Call of Duty.

***

Konig's life before the military was a normal, caring one; his mother and father loved each other dearly. His sister (Sophia) was Konig's protector, walking him to and from school. His father was his idol, taking him hiking or wood working every Sunday. His mother was Konig's greatest love; she made Konig feel better when his classmates teased him.

And oh, how the other children teased him. At six, Konig was already about as tall as his eleven-year-old sister and weighed almost twice as much. He was just a big, sweet goofball of a child who knew why other kids laughed at him but didn't really understand why. His father used to frown at the sight of Konig's tears, patting his shoulder and saying, "Everything will be okay, buddy." Konig didn't have a lot of friends; actually, Sophia was his only friend, so his father's little pet name for him was like a soothing bandage over his lonely heart.

Then, Konig's father left when he was ten. No notice, no call, no apology; he just didn't come home from work one day. It tore the only life Konig had ever known out from under his feet. His sister shut down, distancing herself from Konig. His mother cried all the time. Konig couldn't believe that his father was just... gone. Not dead, gone. It was a fact he couldn't accept, and he'd ask his mother over and over if his father had called or was even home.

His father never came back, and Konig had to learn that tears solved nothing in life.

The military was where Konig really felt he flourished. He joined at 17, not really knowing what else to do with his life. He found some kind of peace and simplicity even during drills and operations, and he was good at it. Good at carrying out his orders, a good fighter, a good soldier. The military did something to him; it taught him how to deal with his anxiety, how to build up walls to keep everything inside, hidden almost.

He quickly went from a quiet soldier to a cocky and, dare say, arrogant man quickly rising in his ranks. His new mask certainly helped, not only with his own confidence but with his intimidating presence.

He'd tried hard to become a recon sniper, knowing that his sharp eyes and intellect were perfect for the position, but Konig's superiors looked at his size and saw another use for him. They used him as an insertion specialist, essentially a human battering ram that could slam his way through doors and tear through the battlefield. Often, Konig's handiness skills were used in human trafficking situations, breaking prisoners from their cells. It wasn't a job Konig detested, but with every mission, something weighed heavy on him. In many cases, the people he freed were scared of him, refusing to go anywhere near the giant man who had just ripped a door off of its hinges. Not that Konig blamed them. He had done things on the battlefield, seen things, had made decisions that had been detrimental to his team.

At some point, Konig joined KorTac, as a contractor. Taking missions for the highest bidder and leading his team (occasionally Konig took missions from Task Force 141 when they paid high enough). This is where Konig can say he met his first friend, Kim "Horangi" Hong-Jin. They were an unstoppable team. Konig became known for his ability in warfare strategy and his skills on the battlefield. The other operators respected Konig for his skills, his rank.

And this is where Konig meets the main character. I want Konig's romantic headcanons to be a different post, so for now, I'll leave it as is. Thank you, dear reader, for enjoying my Konig headcannons! I'm still working on my little project; every day, I get a little more done with it, and I'm so excited for it to finally be finished I'm shaking.

Until Next Time,

Wren.

[junowritings]

Can I have a bg3 male matchup plz

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: heterosexual ally

Zodiac: Capricorn

Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body (although I’m more top heavy if you know what i mean) black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks wears glasses sometimes (im far sighted so it’s usually when driving in class or at the theater)

Mbti: infj

Enneagram: 2w1

Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence (more pertaining to my talents or personality then my looks) sassy sarcastic (I’m mainly these things with people i feel comfortable with like friends or family) soft spoken cute (my friends think im cute because i can be pretty innocent plus I’m small physically)

Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping being a part of something bigger than myself

Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people people i care about not caring for themselves (im a hypocrite on this i take care of everyone else but not me) not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests (I’m being tested for a math disability and i have test anxiety)

Love language:

Giving: acts of service gift giving and physical affection (if they’re ok with it)

Receiving: words of affirmation and physical affection (although i can be shy about it)

Extra: i pace a lot i sing when im alone i talk to myself im a picky eater (mainly with textures) i have a cat i have minor ehlers danalos (a hyper mobility disorder) but it doesn’t hurt me like it does my sisters i get abdominal migraines which is basically like a migraine but instead of headaches it’s nausea

Thank you

Heyya of course you can hun~! Thanks so much for taking the time to send one in - I think I've narrowed down who would treasure you - it'd have to be...

If you’re looking for someone to give you the love you deserve, look no further than the blade of frontiers himself!

Wyll is a good soul - a man who goes out of his way to protect others even at the cost of his own safety, and has a firm belief that good can come from the world and its people even when faced with the darkest of days. Compassion and empathy seem to be in short supply in this world unless you go out of your way to look for it; and yet you seem to have it in abundance, expressing it to those around you in your own ways. Small actions here, an offer to help there, and your respect towards others are all valuable traits that should be respected; even with your shy demeanor these little acts of kindness don't go unnoticed like you might believe, and it certainly makes the man eager to get to know you more.

Whilst your kindness may be what draws him to you initially, it’s easy to see that the more he learns about you, the more the guy falls for you just a little more. Behind that shyness is an intelligent wit - only made more endearing by that hint of sass within soft spoken words that come forth the more comfortable the company. Wyll would catch himself replaying these little glimpses into who you are even when you’re not around, having to pull himself from the reverie more than once (surprise lads this is when he finally realizes that it’s more than just respect he feels for you) 

Being emotional isn’t a bad thing to be! It takes courage to express what you’re feeling - to allow strong emotions to show above the surface of a carefully protected heart. And he will tell you as much whenever you find yourself feeling an emotion too strongly; whether it’s as calloused thumbs brush tears from your cheeks, or as mismatched eyes soften committing your smiles to memory.

If you’re the kind of clumsy who ends up taking the occasional tumble or getting the occasional bump or bruise you can bet that Wyll be there to patch you up. He may not have the healing magic the others have but he’s got practiced hands when it comes to caring for you, touch far more careful than he’s probably ever been when taking care of his own wounds. I’ll die on the hill that Wyll is a cheesy romantic so you can bet those bumps and bruises are getting a quick kiss once he’s finished. He waxes poetic about kisses making them feel better, but the serious expression on his face cracks into a grin when you realize he simply loves to kiss you - being able to help you forget all about that little injury is a welcome bonus, of course.

He simply can’t just stand by seeing you have such little confidence in your talents or personality. He knows it will take more than just words for you to believe him, knows that kind words alone can’t solve the deeply rooted perceptions you have of yourself. Yet he wants you to know that there’s nothing but sincerity as he regales you with examples of each and every amazing feat that you’ve accomplished; everything you’ve done with your talents and how phenomenal he finds every single one of them to be. You may worry about your talents and abilities, but Wyll will be the pillar to remind you of why you do the things that you do, of what makes you love them so whenever the doubt begins to creep in.

He loves stealing quiet moments away with you. It’s no secret that his traveling companions are…less than quiet, and it’s rare to go even an evening without some form of chaos breaking out amongst the others. So any kind of moment where it can be just the two of you is welcome. His favorite thing to do when you’re out and it’s getting late is to find a quiet spot with you to unwind. You can bring your favorite books or a notebook to write with or any other entertainment you may want and Wyll will bring the treats that he knows best summon your sweet tooth, and the two of you can simply enjoy one another's company away from prying eyes and the latest trouble of the day. He’ll lean up against your side or let you lean against his chest (if you’re comfortable of course!), rubbing soothing circles along your arm as he sneaks peeks at what you’re reading or writing at the time. You can distract him from this pesky habit with some well timed kisses if you’re ever feeling bold enough though, but he’ll respect your privacy if you prefer it - what matters most is that he gets this time with you. That being said your cat, Scratch and the Owlbear cub are welcome too of course; they’re the only ones allowed to intrude on these little moments since you love them being around.

Also as a side please do a personality quiz with Wyll. He’ll joke that you’re twisting his arm but he will absolutely get invested in whatever results he ends up with, you can’t miss it.

The people that he’s helped over the years have tried giving him gifts to express their gratitude, and he’s always been gracious about it. But receiving something from you? Especially knowing that your love language is giving gifts and understanding the significance? It’s different, special, and Wyll is touched beyond measure. He will get a little flustered if you go overboard with the gift giving, insistent on repaying you for each little kindness you gift him with these presents so expect more than a few gifts in return. 

Wyll is more than happy to lavish you in words of affirmation and love even before learning just how much you enjoy them; in fact, you’d be hard pressed to get him to not to simply because there is so much about you to love and he makes no attempts to hide his appreciation for every single aspect. He would kiss each pad of your finger and mutter sweet words of how your very touch brightens the world around you if you’d allow him the chance.Wyll will remind you each and every chance that he gets how lucky he is to be at your side, appreciating the things that you do to show your love and reciprocate it in kind till he’s sure you know that you’re loved and appreciated.

He’ll give you space when you’re pacing, knowing that you prefer some alone time now and again to recuperate. However if you’re up for it he’ll gently interject in your pacing, offering to go on a walk together and get some fresh air - if you’re pacing because you’re trying to clear your head this is an excellent way to do so, and Wyll himself is a calming presence to have around if you feel like things are too much and you need someone to just exist with for a time. 

Admittedly he has likely walked in on you singing a couple of times, and has quickly made himself scarce given that you prefer to do it alone without an audience and he wants to respect that private moment. However Wyll finds himself entranced by how content you are when you sing, a feeling that makes his heart feel warmer just remembering; perhaps one day you’ll allow him the chance to hear a performance in person - he’d love nothing more, honestly.

[namorslutfanfiction]

NAMORSLUTFANFICTION UPDATE 1/21/23 (PLEASE READ)

REQUESTS will be open until 1/22/2023 at 11:59 PM PST (Until then please feel free to send more requests)

Request HERE

MASTERLIST (This is also pinned to the top of my page and will be updated at the end of each day that I write)

READ THIS BEFORE YOU MAKE A REQUEST

I will be closing requests that night to allow me time to catch up on requests and keep things organized. I will reopen requests when I don't have as many things in progress at once. Below is a list with descriptions of what requests I currently have to work on. Please cross reference with this list and my Masterlist before you make a request

Tenoch

Tenoch gets needy when he's high (smut)

Tenoch and you get stranded on a road trip. (Smut)

Tenoch got you a new toy. exhibitionism (smut)

You're new to the MCU and Tenoch shows you why they call him "Too Much" Huerta (Fluff)

Tenoch and his costar do not get along. Enemies to lovers (Smut)

Tenoch fake dates his friends sister as a favor (fluff, hurt/comfort)

Tenoch looks damn sexy in black and you heat things up (Smut)

Tenoch takes you on a romantic date, rife with tension. (Smut)

Tenoch is in a situationship that might end because he's a stubborn fboy (angst, jealousy, fluff)

Tenoch eating ass because he can

Tenoch and his ex end up signing up for the same film (angst)

Tenoch helps you with you insecurities (hurt/comfort, fluff)

Tenoch/Reader/Winston love triangle. (ANGST)

Tenoch's ex releases a song about their relationship and its a sore spot (angst)

Tenoch and you are the resident sex symbols of pop culture. When you sign a movie together rumors fly (plot, smut)

Tenoch tries to cherish the one nigh the has with you because he knows he can't keep you (Angst, smut)

Rafa

You hated Sofia for what she did and decide to comfort Rafa (fluff)

Rafa stops your car and whisks you away (fluff)

Yandere!Rafa kidnaps you because he loves you (tension, fluff)

Rafa was a giver and when your birthday comes around he's in his element (fluff)

Yandere!Rafa falls in love with a foreigner despite everyone telling him he's an idiot (obsession, fluff)

Rafa has a thing for Miguel's sister. (Angst, fluff, smut)

Rafa found a smart college girl and she seems to be useful to Miguel. Rafa doesn't like that (Smut)

Rafa meets his match in a rival cultivator. He really had a thing for dominant women (tension, smut)

Rafa has a praise kink and you have fun with it (Smut)

Namor

Namor helps you with the loss of a family member (hurt/comfort)

Namor and pre-birth nerves (fluff, hurt/comfort)

Namor and a reader with thalassophobia (anxiety, fluff)

Namor is falling in love again and doesn't know how he feels about it (angst)

Namor and his Queen love to banter and it comes as a bit of a shock to everyone else (fluff)

Namor and reader's daughter is kidnapped during the war with Wakanda (angst, action)

Namor saves reader from drowning (Meet cute, fluff)

Namor has a thing about his ears and wings (angst, fluff smut?)

Namor vs lip plumper (fluff, comedy)

Namor meets someone blessed and saved by the sea. (Fluff)

Namor and Reader fighting about kids (angst, hurt/comfort)

Namor gets jealous when some of your friends turn out to be your ex lovers (jealousy, fluff)

Namor falls in love at first sight, he hates it. (fluff)

Reader loves Namor and shows him as best she can that he means the world to her. Even if it's dangerous (angst, hurt/comfort)

Follow up Chapters

Namor the Sub chapter 3 (SMUT)

M'baku/Reader/Namor love triangle chapter 2 (Angst, smut)

NamorxTeacher!Reader Married life with children (fluff)

TenochxReader follow up to plane meet cute (Fluff)

TenochxReader Elevator Chapter 3 (Fluff, smut)

NamorxReader make a deal Chapter 2 (Angst, smut)

TenochxReader meet again after that night in Mexico (Fluff)

TenochxReader Praise Kink Chapter 2 (Smut)

Long Form Fanfic WIP (not posted...yet)

Gem of the East Sea: Namor/Filipino Original Female Character

If you have any questions about what I am willing to write please feel free to shoot me a message or ask in my askbox. I EXPECT MY BOX TO BE FILLED BEFORE I CLOSE IT

Lead time for fics is sitting at three weeks due to the volume but fear not I promise I will be more prolific now that I am more organized.

I will be cross posting everything on my AO3 account namorslutfanfiction77. But everything will be posted here first.

BELOW ARE MY REQUEST RULES IF YOU CAN'T FOLLOW THE LINK ABOVE!!!

Send me Namor/Rafa/ Tenoch prompts/scenarios/reacts and I’ll write you a ficlet.

Requests are OPEN AS OF 12/16/2022. 

Thank you for all the requests, support, and patience.

• I only write Reader or Specific OC. If you or your OC have specific characteristics, you want written into it. I cannot accommodate everything as I do not have universal knowledge, but I will write to the best of my ability. 

• I take any request, but if it is something I am uncomfortable with I will just tell you I won’t take. But I’m pretty much okay with everything.

• Feel free to ask me questions if you aren’t sure about something. I am super nice I promise.

• The more specific the request the better.

• I’m a slacker when it comes to proofreading so sorry in advance for any typos or errors in the scenarios. 

• I do the requests in the order I receive them so be patient if I don’t get it out right away.

• I only take requests through the ask box, please don’t message me. 

• I have the right to adjust the request as I see fit so I can give you a fic that is sensible and something I can write, but I will take your stated preferences into account. 

If you do not see me publish your request there is a likelihood that I could not think of anything to write for it. I apologize but I do not want to force a story if I cannot come up with anything. 

Any requests not sent to my ask box and instead messaged to me will be deleted. 

Please be patient as I am only one person and I have a full time job and life. 

This is all for our fun and pleasure. 

Once again, all comments, reviews, notes, replies, reactions, and messages are appreciated and welcome. Thank you so much for welcoming me back into the writing world. I hope I can do all these requests justice.

Stay Happy, Stay Healthy,

Namorslutfanfiction/Theatreslave

[sunsetkerr]

dont wanna be depressing, but how do you deal with parenting your dad?

- 💛 (anon who parents both parents)

hi my love, welcome 💛

I’m more than happy to dive into this, but it's gonna be longggg so I will put this under the cut so I don’t get too sad on main lol, but- quick tw beforehand: heavy drug addiction, anxiety disorder, smoking, drinking, infidelity, parenting your parents, absent father and mentions of suicidal thoughts.

quick backstory! my parents were very on and off throughout my entire childhood. my dad cheated on my mum a total of 13 times, what a guy! my mum? literally the most girl boss, resilient woman I have ever met. worked 3 jobs whilst she was pregnant because my dad was on meth and ice at the time.

so my parents finally broke up for the last time when I was eight.

I saw my dad once a week, until he blew up on me for wanting to call my mum to say goodnight, on the night of my 10th birthday. he went ballistic at me and after that, I didn't leave the house apart from school for a year because I would have panic attacks every time I went somewhere.

my dad is very embarrassing. he's not just emotionally abusive to me, but to his mum, sister and my cousins (without realising the extent of his actions). he is very 'poor me, I'm the vicitm' which is something I have noticed recently.

I really am the only person that my dad has. he now realises that because I'm an adult now, he cannot treat me like a little kid, because I will leave. I dont tolerate that behaviour, I am not as forgiving as my mother.

last year, my dad blew up on my grandad who is 81 and has dementia. my grandma and him haven't spoken since. a few nights ago, my dad rang me around 8pm, and I instantly thought 'what does he want now?'. because he only calls me when needs/wants something.

my dad is on the phone drunk and ends up getting onto the topic of my grandma not speaking to him. he's crying on the phone to me, tells me how he was going to k*ll himself when I was a kid, but that I was the only thing keeping him alive. very fucked, a lot to put on your 20 year old daughter.

he says that he needs my help to repair his relationship with my grandma, and everyone else. that he knows he can always count on me.

it's a sad thing to have to parent your 51 year old father, and have those big hurtful conversations about what he's done wrong and trying to keep him in check. but it's the reality for lots of us! know that you're completely not alone in this. I am really lucky that I have the best mum in the world, she is my best friend and I would definitely be a different person if I didn't have her to rely on.

so to hear that you have to parent both of your parents is really upsetting and im so sorry. im sorry you've had to grow up so quickly, because that is mostly the case in these scenarios. my biggest tip would be to look after you. it's okay to break down, I did the other night for the first time in a while.

its really hard to talk to people about it, because lots of people dont get it. my boyfriend grew up with a classic white-picket fence family and has no idea how to handle the things that I say to him about my dad, but he's trying.

as long as you are getting some kind of support, you will be okay. and if you're not, make time to support yourself. remember, you are the only person that you have forever. you start your life with your parents, but your life doesn't end with them- your life ends with you, so take care of you.

im really sorry that this is reality for you. im sending you so much love, and if you ever need someone to vent to about parenting your parents (or anything else) I'm here <3 thank you for feeling comfortable enough to reach out to me.

[butteredteeth]

TW: Vent

Topics: toxic mother, severe anxiety

So lastnight I was sobbing super hard about feeling like I'm being abandoned by my best friend (not specifying which, I hate doing that) and while I was crying I got all raspy as one does when bawling their eyes out to the point their throat bothers them. So she told me "those noises arent necessary" and that I "cry differently every time I cry". Which is, let me know if I'm wrong, A NATURAL OCCURENCE FOR HUMANS?? Anyways then she kept trying to comfort me after I said I was just gonna leave the room because I didnt even feel like crying into her shoulder anymore and would rather cry alone. So when I finally left I kept silently sobbing, hoping she didnt hear me. And I tried watching South Park for a distraction, barely worked. Did my makeup finally, distracted me really very good but trying to go to sleep was difficult because I am still so terrified I'm going to lose them. So I took an indica 10mg gummy and watched South Park until it kicked in enough for me to sleep. Woke up feeling like shit this morning. My calves hurt, my knees hurt, my arms are sore, my neck is super tense, my back feels like it's being snapped in half with every movement, and worst part? Yesterday my therapy was cancelled so now I have to wait a week to get all of this shit off of my chest and get advice and a good talking about my emotions and irritability. And today we went to the furniture store to get my mom a new chair and previous to that we were waiting for the family buddy to get here, he helps with furniture moving and we rarely see him other than that. My mom tells me to "not be all over him and playing with him like that" when I'm acting like a kid my age should. Only time anyone EVER plays with me, my sisters dont, my mom cant, and anyone else who can doesnt want to or feels like im too old because im too mature. I always say I'm too mature to play and stuff but I do it ALONE that's why. The family buddy practically adopted into the family at this point. Hes like my older brother. Feels like my mom hates to see me play and have fun and genuinely laugh. She did apologize because "now that she thinks about it, its just her insecurity an anxiety about people thinking I'm a brat" which really hit a hard one in my chest because SHE.

SHE.

Used to call me a spoiled brat for having panic attacks, meltdowns, and anxiety. She has always pushed her stress onto me. Never tried to hide it to save my mental health even when I was like six. I let her vent to me, I take care of her, I suggest therapy (LIKE ALL OF MY SISTERS DO) and she just refuses or puts it off because her current therapist isnt the right fit. So now everyones just stressed and all that I soak up and now I'm fucking panicked and shit every god damn day.