balvares - Tumblr blog

[balvares]

wave goodbye.

self para, location unknown. triggers: stabbing, torture, knives, blood, violence, death. mentioned: @dilara-kr, @applekiraz, @analusilvas, @feykaplan, @dominicdavis, @davinadias.

       I’ll be careful. I promise. Those were the last words Bianca said to Dilara before going out that same night. She was being careful. For the first time in a long time, she wanted to keep her promise. Nightrest wasn’t as safe as she had thought it’d once been. Even for the girl who thrived in spending her life living in the moment, not thinking about past or future, she didn’t have it in her to leave her friends worried about her—or scared because she continued to spend most of her nights so .. recklessly. 

Bi had been drinking, it would’ve been a lie to say she wasn’t, but she knew what she was doing. Despite every promise she once made, she had always been a social drinker. The kind of girl who drank because she was surrounded by people. Wanting to be able to mix in with all the fun as opposed to focusing on remaining completely sober—or close to it. Tonight hadn’t been any different. The brunette said goodbye to everyone she’d spent her night with, a smile on her face as she dangled the screen of her phone in front of them. “I’ve got an Uber coming,” she slurred before sloppy steps brought her outdoors. Soft laughs slipping out of her as she stood by the curb, slightly dizzy vision taking in the surroundings as she did the only thing she could do. Wait. 

A part of her wonders if she should’ve waited inside, or continued inside. Maybe if she had, Bianca wouldn’t have been standing under the dark sky, vulunerable. Easy prey. Even as she stood there, nothing felt out of the ordinary. Not until the sound of footsteps rang in her ear. They sounded close, fast, and as she attempted to turn around—see who it was—there was an impact against her head. A hard one. Hard enough that stars began to cloud her already messy vision. And before there was even a chance to react, to scream, call for help, she felt it again. Then everything went black. 

later .

She could feel the hard surface against her body, the coldness prickling at the skin that was exposed. She was on the floor. Bianca’s lids rapidly began to open—seeing nothing but blackness. Her eyes covered. The tight feeling against the opening of her mouth. Her mouth tied up, too. Wanting to reach up and take whatever it was off her face, it was then the woman realized that her hands were also tied behind her. She couldn’t see, speak, or move the way she wanted. That was the start of her panic—memories of the footsteps, being hit. Bianca desperately tried to fight against whatever was holding her wrists locked together, ignoring the way the friction burned her skin, as she tried (and failed) to stand or even sit. Anything was better than the way she was currently.  Where am I? Is anybody there? Questions she tried to ask, but coming out as nothing more than a muffled sound. 

This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. 

Fingers gripped into her hair, the sharp pain being enough to have Bianca yelp as they roughly lifted her up—eyes closed tightly beneath the blindfold. She listened, waiting for someone to say something. Anything. Let her know what was going on, what she was doing here but nothing came. The only sound she could hear was her own ragged breath. It felt like ages, their fingers still knotted in her hair while nothing happened. It was the silence that scared her. From more than what she’s ever experienced. 

Then she felt the blade pierce through her stomach. Fast, rough. The feeling of it having the woman cry out in pain, already feeling the tears pricking from her eyelids. Then another one. And another. On her stomach again. On her side. In and out. Rough edges of, what she could only assume, was a knife ripping its way in and out of her skin. Tears being shed but soaked up through the cloth that covered eyes.  Shedding with every impact of their hands, or their feet, the knife. Constant blows. Again. And again. And again.

Stop. Stop. Please. Words that repeatedly came out of her mouth with every plunge, desperately wishing that they’d stop. To stop hurting her. She didn’t deserve this. Those same stars floating across her already masked vision—wishing she knew who was doing it. Who hated her this much? Hated her enough to want to see her hurt like this. In so much pain. 

Even as she thought about it, there was a single person who managed to come to mind. Bianca believed that in all of her years of living, she’s never done anything worth of this. She’s always been a good person. Talked to everyone, kept herself away from drama that didn’t involve her. What did she do that could be so wrong? To bring out this kind of … hate in a person. Because they had to hate her. There was no denying it. 

Even in the midst of it all, Bianca still couldn’t hear anything. Only the sound of her own masked screams, the sound of her breathing echoing within her ears. The agony of the inflicted wounds being the only thing she could seem to focus on. If they were saying anything, she couldn’t hear it. For a moment, it felt as if time stopped. 

The hands that once were entangled in her hair now shoved her down. Bianca’s body hitting the ground and her head knocking against the surface of the floor—a ringing sound immediately echoing in her ears from the impact.  That’s when she heard it.

There was a laugh. A woman’s laugh. Something that was easy to distinguish even as the sound drifted further away from her—words coming out of her, but nothing Bianca could pick up.  She heard her. Whoever she was. That was a woman’s voice and there was no denying it, but who was she talking to? Despite all the pain she felt, the brunette tried her hardest to listen. To see if she could hear whoever was being addressed. Did she know that voice?

She didn’t have time to think about it. Not before the sound of another scream flooded her ears. It wasn’t ear piercing, but it was a sound that mimicked one of her own. The same kind of scream she continued to release with every blow of the blade. Someone else was here. Bianca’s cries could only grow harder as she remained on the ground—weakly fighting against her retraints.  Unable to stop herself from aching for whoever else it was going through the same thing she was; listening to those heart wrenching sounds while she couldn’t do a thing to help. That being enough to make her cries grow harder. Bianca, even in the midst of her own pain, couldn’t keep herself from crying out to whoever it was. She didn’t need to know who they were or why they must’ve been there. Whoever it was, they didn’t deserve this. Neither of them did. 

Time moved by slowly. The sound in the distance became more faint with every passing minute, or hour, she didn’t know, but it was enough for one thing to ring clear for Bianca. These were her final moments. They’re final moments. She knew that. In the midst of everything happening, her mind couldn’t help but to shift toward the people she cared most about—Analu, Fey, Dominic, Davina, Dilara, Apple. 

Apple. Her best friend. Sister. Soulmate.  Their last conversation replayed in her head during her final moments. Being aunties, having children. Living the rest of their lives together. Things they’ve spoken about hundreds of times and it wasn’t until this moment did it finally hit Bianca that it wouldn’t happen. She’d never grow old enough to see Apple become the cool aunt she so desperately wanted to be. Never get to have kids of her own looking up at her best friends with the same admiration and love that Bianca held for her. She’d never see Apple have kids. Something she knew her best friend wanted so badly. Even with the way she brushed it off, playing it off as nothing more than a simple thought, Bianca knew better. She could see the sadness hidden behind those eyes and now, those words played in her head again: You’re time will come. It was lighthearted at the time, but during this moment, she meant it. Every single word. One of her last moments praying that she’d stop being plagued by whatever was in her thoughts and do it. Have the family she wanted. The kids. Grow old, be happy. It’s what she deserved. 

It was as if the killers knew what she was thinking about. Feeling those hands pulling her up again,  the blade making its way to her neck and for the first time since it started, Bianca wanted it all to stop. Not in the same way she once had, but she wanted them—whoever they were—to put an end to it all. To the pain. Her suffering.  She couldn’t do it anymore. She could feel the blood pooling at her feet, skin raging as it constantly reminded her of what they put her through. She couldn’t do it anymore. 

The rigged ends dug deeply into her neck, gliding its way across her neck and even if Bianca wanted to scream, the pooling blood from behind her mouth made it impossible. She could feel it, her blood, pouring out—drenching her clothes. There was no longer a fight in Bianca. Within seconds, she could feel her body growing weak. Limp. Then she was gone. 

[balvares]

BI: [ READ ]

davina: I HOPE YOU LIKE THAT PRISON CELL YOU ARE GOING TO BE IN BABES AND DONT DROP THE SOAP, BUT YOU DESERVE EVERY SICKNESS THAT GETS COLLECTED ON IT, YOU DUMB SCARY BITCH. AT LEAST REAL SERIAL KILLERS ARENT WERENT AFRAID TO SHOW THEIR FACES AND ACTUALLY SEND THINGS TO THE POLICE AND EVEN THE FBI, BUT YOU'RE TOO STUPID CAUSE IF YOU DID THAT, YOU WOULD BE FOUND OUT QUICKLY, YOU LITTLE RODENT I SWEAR IF YOU HURT MY FRIEND IM SENDING MY DADDY'S POWERFUL MEN AFTER YOU YOU RAGGEDITY BITCH I HOPE THEY MAKE YOU CHOKE ON YOUR OWN BLOOD WITH YOUR WHOLE FAMILY WATCHING BEFORE MAKING THEM DO THE SAME I DONT EVEN CARE IF THEY DONT KNOW ITS YOU THEY SHOULDNT HAVE BROUGHT A LOW LIFE THAT IS CLEARLY POOR CAUSE NO RICH PERSON HAVE THE TIME FOR THIS IN THIS WORLD YOU FUCKING RAT I HOPE YOU READ THIS. AND I HOPE YOU KNOW I MEAN IT.

[balvares]

BI: [ READ ]

A: Bi?! A: Don't fucking play with me, Bianca! A: I swear to god, don't fucking play with me.

[balvares]

BI: [ READ ]

Fey 📲 Bi

Fey: you awake yet 👀 Fey: [ link to tiktok sent ] Fey: us when?

[balvares]

BI: [ READ ]

Apple 📲 Bi

A: I'm not doing okay, Bi. A: You can't do this to me A: Please A: Come home A: Please

[balvares]

BI: [ READ ]

IMESSAGE: bal

davina: YOU BETTER STILL BE ALIVE BITCH LIKE WTF davina: YOU BETTER KICK SCRATCH DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO TO COME BACK SAFELY OR AT LEAST ALIVE davina: IM SO SERIOUS TOO AND IF THE KILLER HAS YOUR PHONE AND SEES THIS I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU ARE A PUSSY ASS BITCH WHOSE MOTHER DOESNT LOVE THEM AND WOULD DO THIS TOWN A GREAT SERVICE OF JUMPING OFF A BRIDGE AND DROWNING IN WHATEVER BODY OF WATER THAT IS THERE OR EVEN BETTER GO SPLAT ON THE CONCRETE AND GET RUN OVER BY MILLIONS OF CARS YOU DIRTY LOW LIFE BITCH I HOPE KARMA GETS TO YOU GOOD YOU FREAK I JUST KNOW YOUR TEETH ARE YELLOW AND YOUR BREATH SMELL LIKE DOG POOP PROBABLY COULDNT GET NO BITCHES SO YOU WENT ON THIS SPREE INSTEAD I HOPE YOU CROAK AND HOPE YOUR BLOODLINE FUCKING FAILS TOO YOU DICKHEAD

[balvares]

BI: [ READ ]

Apple 📲 Bi

A: You can stop this now A: It's not funny, Bi A: I'm so scared

[balvares]

BI: [ READ ]

Toby 📲 Bianca

Toby: please be okay

[balvares]

BI: [ READ ]

zehra 📲 bianca

zehra: this better not be some joke, bi. zehra: i swear, you better be safe zehra: just please answer back though. let me know you're safe zehra: or at least call me, please.

[balvares]

BI: [ read ]

Adee 📲 Bianca

Adee: Come back to me safe and sound please :( I still need to buy you a shot

[balvares]

azranadir​:

“What do they say, no pain, no gain?” Azra added, though as someone who preferred to take the easy way out in life, she couldn’t help but think the ideology sounded stupid. But pole dancing was hot, and it looked fun, moreso than any of the other kinds of dancing. Plus, Azra wondered if maybe she’d get good at it, and put up a pole in her house for fun. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s such a bummer, you know? Dante was sweet and Sawyer was… herself. She wasn’t that bad though, I guess.” She tried not to think too much about it because it all felt too depressing to think about the people in her life she’d lost. “As if. I want a video of me at my best. I’m only concerned with the final result, it’d be like me posting an Instagram picture side by side with an unedited version.”

“You’re absolutely right, but here’s to hoping you keep that mentality when the time comes. I don’t want to hear any complaining because I’ll throw that phrase right back at you,” she added in with a little chuckle of her own. Fully expecting to hear some because in truth, it wouldn’t be a good class without someone talking about how much the entire set burned.  In the best way possible in her opinion. “Yeah, he was.” Memories of the times where the two would practice together flooding her mind—heart aching at the thought. Times she took for granted and now that he was gone, Bi couldn’t help but to regret not spending as much time with him as she should’ve. “And Sawyer was sweet, too. She always gave me a run for my money when it came to drinking during our nights out.” Literally every single time. The blonde being one of the few people Bi had a hard time keeping up with. A surprise to herself. “I—well, I think those are two entirely different things,” she pointed out, head tilting to the side. “It’s not like you’re taking a class on ways to edit your photos. At least with dancing, it feels like a reward to see how much you’ve changed over the course of a couple classes.. Again, I won’t film it if you don’t want me to but at least think about it. It’ll  be worth it.”

[balvares]

"Like that makes a difference on whether or not you can have kids," Bianca replied, rolling her eyes at the comment—already expecting to hear it. "And you've got all the time in the world to save up for a donation, miss therapist. You make more than enough money to splurge on some when the time comes." Because , in her mind, it would come. Nothing Apple could say would ever change her mind about it. "The only thing I'm spreading my legs for is protective sex. There's no babies coming come out of me any time soon. Hate to break your heart, baby, but you're the only hope you've got. God, how did we even get here? Go from opening my heart to my legs?"

“Just because!” Apple laughed at her friend, there was no reason. All the deaths around town were simply making her question whether they really did have all the time in the world to figure their lives out. “Different in that I’ve never had a penis up to my face let alone there.” None that she cared to count at least. “So, it’s up to you, unfortunately. I don’t see my mind changing any time soon, and semen donation is expensive as heck.” Apple popped the last couple slices of tangerines into her mouth. "All you got to do is spread them legs." she laughed hysterically.

[balvares]

azranadir​:

“What about a pole dancing class? Maybe you could incorporate one those. I’m not ready to get like Kat and make it my full-time, but I bet it would be fun to try,” Azra pointed out. Some of the options sounded good, and it’s not like she really had much else to do during the week. She liked music, so naturally she liked to dance as well, even if taking any kind of class wasn’t her thing. Bianca had always been chill though, she agreed, nodding her head. “Ah, that’s good. I would’ve felt kind of weird taking their spot.” Sawyer and Dante both remained in the back of her mind, remembering they were gone during the moments of silence. But she didn’t want to dwell on it too much. “6 is perfect,” Azra responded with a grin, before shaking her head and laughing at the offer. “Wait on the video. I’ll need to get some practice in to make sure you don’t blatantly outdo me infront of all of social media.”

“I could definitely do a pole dancing class, but be warned: it takes a toll on ..  basically your whole body.” Pole dancing had always been one of those dances that she adored, but never took the time to fully become equipped with. Much preferring to leave that to the professionals—which she was far from—but if the other was interested in it, she could make some arrangements. Find someone willingly to teach a class or two. More than certain that anyone else in her class wouldn’t mind. Her head nodded slowly as Azra mentioned taking up their spots, a sad smile forming across her lips as she agreed. “Yeah, I get that. Honestly, if they were in my class, I probably wouldn’t have offered it. Wouldn’t feel right, you know?” Just the idea of it made her heart sink a little further.  “Videos are so much fun, though! You get to watch how much you’ve improved over time and, believe me, there’s going to be a ton of it. But I promise I won’t post them anywhere. Not until you want me to.”

[balvares]

dilara-kr​:

“I’m working on it,” she giggled, “I have much more freedom now with the kids being watched after, and all.” She had been the biggest home body due to wanting to raise her kids with no distractions. Dilara was slowly learning that she could have a actual life outside of them and not have it affect their growth like she feared it would. “Of course I’ve been. Do you honestly think Fey would have allowed me to not visit at least? Just let me know a date and I can make sure the kiddos are all set.” Ever since the fight with Anya, though, she avoided it like the plague. Not wanting to be reminded of the night, nor did she have the nerves to walk in and see the security guard who escorted them out. Dee smiled at her, having had heard the same lies from her younger sister before enough to know better. “Alright. I’ll believe you. I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” she shrugged, but meant it. Enough people had died, and there was no way of knowing why, but if personal carelessness was something simple enough to avoid then why not do so.

“Which you definitely deserve. Every mom needs some time to themselves, right? Otherwise you’d go crazy.” Or at least that’s how she’d imagine it. Sitting at home with no time to yourself, focus being on the kids and kids only? Bi, for sure, would her marbles. Every last one of them. “Doesn’t hurt to ask. You never know,” she chuckled, hands coming up to gesture a surrender, “Good. Honestly, I’m open to any weekend. I don’t work Saturdays or Sundays, so pick a day that’s easy for you and I’ll be ready.” Especially when she’s always down to go out to the club.. or bar, whatever got her out of the house. “I know. I appreciate it, Dee, really.” her words softer now with a smile to match. “You don’t have to worry about me. I mean it.. I’ll be more careful, okay?” At least drink a lot less while out. Something she should’ve been doing in the first place.

[balvares]

"I never said you didn't make a cool aunt, but why do I have to be the baby pusher?" Bianca laughed, eyes rolling at her friends. "I think we both would make pretty cool aunties if given the chance. You have the cool tattoos and piercings .. and I'm, you know, just the fun." But seeing in the falter in her best friend's expression, her full name being spoken from a set of lips that hardly ever said it, Bianca could only pause—eyes on her. "Different how?" She questioned, "I know you're going to have your shot one day. You've got plenty of time."

balvares​:

Deep conversations with Apple always seemed to be the normal between them. What else could you expect when your best friend is a therapist? Every conversation she had a day revolved around being meaningful. Conversations that left someone deep in thought—thinking about life, and currently, future. Something Bianca rarely ever took the time to focus on. That much was obvious with how her answers always seemed to go. “Why do you get to be the cool aunt?” She asked, leaning over to steal a piece of tangerine from Apple’s fingers—popping it into her mouth. “You could be the one married with kids.. and before you say anything, there’s ways around it, while I’m the cool aunt that teaches them inappropriate dance moves during family get togethers.”

She stood up giving her friend a spin as if she’s never looked at her before, “I mean come on, Bi.” Hands at her side, she gave her a pointed look, “I make a pretty cool aunt, just look at me. Kids love tattoos. It’s like pictures they can stare at and ask questions like there’s no tomorrow.” Her latter statement making her falter slightly. “I know that, Bianca. We are in the twenty first century.” Apple had always wanted to. She had been ready two years prior, only thing that had kept her from it all was. . . she didn’t want to think about it. Her biggest heart ache had always been her hope. Hope that perhaps they might just need time to be ready as she was. Had been. “I’d like to.” was all she could think of saying, “One day I will. . . it’s different for me though."

[balvares]

feykaplan​:

Bianca knew Fey so well because she was about to say no, that she probably shouldn’t, because she felt that guilt so strongly now, even though she never openly talked about it. How could she still enjoy herself, go do the things she wanted to do, when some of her friends were now six feet under? Fey bit down on her lower lip as she thought about it, before letting out a sigh. Her friend wanted to do something nice for her, and Bianca was right. It would be good for her. A distraction from all the pain, a way for her to turn off the part of her brain that just felt helpless. Plus, it would give her a chance to hang out with her friend again. “Okay,” Fey eventually said, showing her a smile. “Yeah, sign me up, Bi,” she added. “But try making the steps a little harder this time,” Fey teased her before hooking her arm with hers. “Give me a challenge,” she smirked. “You in the mood for some ice cream? I was just about to head to Zero Degrees.”

News of what happened hit Bianca pretty hard, so she couldn’t even grasp how badly it must’ve gotten to Fey. Her best friend being in the hospital, a target from whoever was doing all of this. She was sure that all of it must be haunting in her friend’s head and that was the reason she felt even more sure about offering up the suggestion. It having been in her mind already when she spoke to Azra about it. Only to be solidified after.. everything. Dancing was a way for Bi to keep her head clear, live in the moment and release stress in a way that made her happy. Something she was hoping would do the same for Feyza. “I definitely will,” smile growing even wider, “Don’t say that because I’ll actually do it. Pole dancing was suggested for a class, so if hard is what you’re looking for, that’ll definitely be on the roaster.” She, herself, had only taken pole dancing a couple times but for the sake of spicing up her classes, she could bring in someone else to do all the teaching. For that.  “God, yes,” she said, already falling into step with the redhead. “It’s like a million degrees outside. I need some ice cream and a lot of it. The weather here can’t seem to make up it’s mind. One minute it’s raining out and the next, it feels like a freaking heat wave.”

[balvares]

"I was hoping you did," Bi admitted with her own little chuckle, but there wasn't any disappointment. In truth, she was merely happy that Selda seemed to have as much fun as she did—if the blackouts were any indication. "We definitely do. Just say the word, Arslan, and I'll be ready. Maybe even bring like, a designated driver or something that can keep tabs on all the shit we get ourselves into."

Selda cracked a small grin, one of her first in the days following the double murder, raising an eyebrow at the other woman. “If you think I remember, you’ve got to be out of your mind, Bi,” she chuckled, shaking her head. She had been drinking like there was no tomorrow—and it was even worth the terrible hangover she had woken up with the next day. “Guess we’ll just have to do it another time, eh?”