#and when he's holding harry and harry is in the exact position he was when he died like AAAAAHHHHH

[rosemarytales]

yes all the themes of all of us strangers but also "if you could hear me crying why didn't you come into my room" and "how come no one found me" coexisting and not in the way we think, like the way adam is implying that he would have done better, he would not have ignored the cries for help and actually done something, but in reality when it came to harry crying for help it barely even registered not because he didn't want to help but because he was too stuck in his own private bubble of pain to notice harry's

[jarofstyles]

For fluffy requests: how about harry and yn both had a super long hard week, and they spend friday night getting high together? or drunk/tipsy. I just love intox handsy harry so much.

Absolutely!!! I love mushy H so much.

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Warnings- they’re high, weed mention, cute as hell

——-

“Christ.” She heard the whisper as she looked over from her phone to the man approaching her. He’d gone to go grab some chips, but it was evident that he’d been distracted the moment he walked back into the room.

“What?” The word was laughed under her breath as she tilted her head up properly to watch as he placed the bowl of chips down, getting on his knees in front of her. “Oh- hello?” Large hands pawed at her knees, pulling them apart as he wiggled his way to kneel between them. “What’s goin’ on?”

Harry’s mind was an interesting place that she liked to explore, but when he was high she couldn’t anticipate what he would do or say. It was exciting, in a way, because some of his funniest moments or revelations appeared from this exact scenarios. His eyes were slightly bloodshot as they looked over her face in awe, the bated silence making her raise a questioning brow at him.

“Just…” he licked his bottom lip, sliding his hands up over her thighs. The lack of pants seemed to please him, skin to skin contact making him lean further into her space. “Don’t think you know how much I love you. Didn’t think I could love you more, n’then bam!” He widened his eyes, making her jump at the sudden loudness of the word. “Walked in here and like… swear, my heart grew. Like the grinch or… Oscar the grouch? Whoever the fuck, they’re both fuzzy, green and grouchy, but. It hit me in the stomach and it’s like…. You’re my girl. Call yourself my girlfriend t’everyone. You’re wearing my fuckin’ shirt!”

Like it was the greatest honor of all time, he preened at the vision of her in front of him. One hand slipped under the shirt to grasp her tummy while the other grabbed her hand, pulling it to lay flat on his chest. “See? My heart kicked up a storm as soon as you touch me. S’fucking crazy. You don’t even know that it does this all the time too.” If he wasn’t being so earnest, Y/N would have giggled at how amazed he was at the concept of love. It was stupidly endearing.

“I love you too, baby.” She whispered, putting her phone down so she could hold his face in her other hand. He was right- his heart was thudding hard against her palm. “Thank you for telling me. Are you… what are you doing?”

While she stroked his cheek he had shuffled forward, wrapping his arm around her back and pulling her into his body. Her at the edge of the couch and him grabbing her other hand to put it in his hair before lifting her shirt up and ducking under it. “Woah! What’re y’doing, crazy man?”

“Need t’be closer to your heart.” He mumbled, lips pressing against her chest. It was entirely chaste and she could feel the intention before his cheek pressed against it. Her hand migrated from his chest to behind his neck, the position slightly odd but incredibly sweet. Surely his knees had to be sore from the hardwood but he didn’t care, nuzzling into her as he whispered to her.

“Love your heart. Gonna take care of it like y’take care of me, n’we’re gonna have a nice lil’ life just gettin’ to grow out love for each other. Gonna make you some good food later so you’re all nourished and then we’ll take a shower, but I think I wanna take a nap here.” He sighed, eyes shut as she gently massaged the back of his neck.

“Well… if you want to nap, that’s okay, but you need to get up here. You can’t nap on your knees, baby.”

“Shh. Jus’ for a little bit. Promise, mama. M’fine. Just don’t move n’keep doing that thing on my neck. If I was in a different mood that could probably make me nut, if m’honest.”

“Oooookay. Shh. Go to sleep.” She snorted, wondering how much more he’d have smoked when she wasn’t looking to get to this state.

“Kay. Love you so much, mama. You’re my entire world n’if I dream, it’ll probably be about you. It always is.”

[watermelonlovershigh]

Baby Fever /blurb/ (housemate!harry series)

AN: i now wish i would have made this blurb into a regular chapter with more details, making it longer, but i can't go back now. so this will be the first blurb in my series. i wrote this because i was having issues coming up with something to write for part 16. but after this, i'll get on top of starting part 16. i hope you enjoy and feel free to send in blurb ideas for this series.

This story contains: pure fluff, baby fever

{ housemate!harry - boyfriendrry - soft!harry - uncle!harry }

word count- 1,076

Harry has to babysit his niece for the day unexpectedly, and you get to watch Harry interact with a baby for the first time, which gives you baby fever.

It's evident that Harry was great with children, given his profession as a teacher. However, you were unaware of the extent of his skills with young children and infants until he was given the responsibility of caring for his sister's baby for the day. This situation arose when his sister urgently called him at four in the morning, explaining that her husband was facing a family emergency and needed someone to watch their daughter, Juniper, for a few hours.

Being the wonderful uncle that he is, Harry told his sister he'd be happy to spend his Saturday babysitting his niece. You had not yet met his sister or niece prior to this morning. But after meeting in Harry's entrance way at half past five in the morning, his sister was incredibly kind to you, even in the midst of her hurried departure after leaving little Juniper in her uncles care. As for Juniper, although she's just a baby, 8 months to be exact, she graciously allowed you to hold her, which you regard as a positive first greeting.

Since it was very early in the morning, Harry encouraged you to return to bed for a few hours while he kept Juniper entertained. Knowing he's an early bird anyways and you liked your sleep. You were hesitant at first but ultimately chose to follow his suggestion. You fell asleep again until around seven, when the delightful sounds of giggling stirred you awake. Rubbing your eyes, you got out of bed to see where all the laughter was coming from.

As you made your way down the hallway, the cheerful giggles intensified. Upon your arrival in the kitchen, you found yourself captivated by the sight. Juniper was comfortably seated on Harry's lap at the kitchen table, one of his arms providing her with support to ensure she remained steady, while his other hand carefully held a tiny spoon containing what seemed to be mashed peas from a jar of baby food.

Given that you've only been dating Harry for three months, you've not yet explored his views on the idea of having children one day. However, you're curious about whether he envisions a future with kids. You would be thrilled to give him as many children as he desired, especially if it meant starting each day with this delightful view.

Before long, Harry noticed your presence as he's feeding his niece and smiled gently at you. You walked over and took a seat at the table, continuing to observe him as he fed her the unappealing mushy peas until her tummy was completely satisfied. Harry then rose with Juniper in his arms and headed to the sink to get a damp paper towel, which he used to clean the green food that had smeared around her little mouth.

As soon as you heard the rumble of Harry's stomach, you decided to prepare breakfast for the two of you while he carried Juniper into the living room. You made avocado toast and served yourself a cup of coffee, aware that Harry had already enjoyed two cups since being awake.

Based on your background in waitressing during your teenage years, you skillfully transported two plates of avocado toast and one cup of coffee to the living room. As you stepped inside, you observed Harry gesturing to keep quiet with a finger pressed to his mouth, and then you understood the reason for his request.

Likely in a food coma, little baby Juniper rested soundly against his clothed chest. The sight brings a tingle to your ovaries. He slowly rose and made his way to the baby swing in the corner provided by his sister, gently setting a sleeping Juniper inside before activating the motor, which caused the swing to move softly while playing a calming melody.

Harry walked back over to the couch where you handed him his plate of avocado toast, saying, "Thank you, baby." before leaning in to peck a kiss to your lips.

"You're welcome." you replied sweetly, then begun silently eating your toast and sipping your coffees, being mindful of the sleeping baby. Once you're finished eating, you turned to Harry and can't help but blurt out the question you've thought all morning. "Do you want kids one day?"

Harry looked taken back at your question before a warm smile spread over his features. "Yeah, I would love to have kids in the future."

Keeping a quiet tone, you continued to prod, "You've always wanted kids?"

"Um yeah, I think so. I mean, after comin' to terms with my sexuality, I knew there may be a chance I can't have any biological kids. I would've been okay with that because there's adoption and stuff of the sorts. But havin' biological kids would be just as great. So yeah, I want kids one day. What about you?"

"Yeah, I want kids, but only if I'm with the right person." you answered and Harry gets a cheeky smile on his face, knowing you're dating. So if the answer doesn't describe him, then he must be doing something wrong.

Just to tease you, he asked, "Oh yeah, and what does the right person look like to you?"

You repositioned yourself on the couch, settling into a position that allowed you to straddle Harry's lap. In this close proximity, you explained, "I donno. Someone who is kind and gentle. A person who's responsible and smart. Someone who would always encourage our children to be themselves. And someone who may or may not pass on the charming trait of dimples to our kids."

Smiling, Harry cupped the sides of your face in his large hands and cooed in a mere whisper, "Does this person have a name by chance?"

You nod, "Mhm, his name is Harry." Right as his name rolled off your tongue, Harry leaned forward to capture your lips with his. The kiss is gentle yet passionate. It lasted a total of ten seconds before you pulled away. "We better stop before we start something we can't finish right now. There's a baby asleep in the corner."

With a fake pout, Harry commented, "Fine, but just so you know, in the future, when we're hopefully married, or not yet married because things happen, I'd love to be the father of your children. And I'd love you to mother our children. You'll be the best mother in the world."

Yep, it was the right decision to start dating your housemate.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(if you want to be apart of my new tag list, let me know right here !! )

tag list: @swiftmendeshoran // @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite // @hsonlyangelxo // @lunabai // @ppleasingg // @harryscherrysugar

______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

[dropoutconfessions]

I think mismag sucks. And this is hard to talk about with other fans but I just really don't like it. People call it a deconstruction or an "in your face" moment to Harry potter but it's neither of those things. It's the exact same shit but every now and then they stop and turn at the audience to say "haha isn't it funny that they do this?" it's not doing anything clever or special. Also sometimes Brennan has too much main character syndrome and it can get very frustrating when he's a player because he tends to kind of take over, which is great when he's a dm but not so great when he's a player. And don't get me wrong I love Brennan I think he's very funny he's also just very. Homeschooled, for lack of a better word.

No there's definitely a better word, we're not using home-schooled as an insult, let's not be elitist, we should hold ourselves to a higher standard.

I think you're misinterpreting how his actions reflect on his mindset. It reads as main character syndrome because Evan has been main-character-ized. But that's because the other players and the story slot him into that position. He has multiple times expressed that when he gets the opportunity to play a character, he asks the dm how best he can serve the narrative / the world building.

He does the same thing in Ravening War where he plays the party's only member of the clergy of the Bulbian Church and in Burrow's End where if I elaborate on what's going on with Tula I will basically spoil half the story.

If he hadn't explained this mindset during either the Unsleeping City Chapter 2 Adventuring Parties, I'd probably be more inclined to believe you, but like, he gave us the reason this happened, before it even happened.

[ifancyharry]

Bad habit (2)

In which YN is Harry’s daughter’s teacher, and she and Harry used to be friends in college; smut; daddy!kink; fluff; angst; dad!harry (read part 1 here)

Word count: 18K+

“Find a place for us to sit, pet, I’ll go order”.

When Harry had told her he wanted to catch up, YN certainly didn’t think he was serious. She doesn’t know why any time it comes to Harry, she thinks he’s joking or making fun of her, how pathetic could she be that even the thought of him wanting to grab a coffee with her makes her think he’s taking the piss out of her?

She doesn’t know why, but she does, and when he had texted her if she was fine to meet him in the late afternoon for a coffee, she had to read the message three times to fully grasp its content. 

She couldn’t believe her eyes, and she still can’t fully grasp the extent of it, when Harry is walking back to the table she’d chosen holding a tray with two coffees in his hands and a small ceramic white plate with a slice of banana bread with two small forks on it.

Oh god. He looks good. He’s so pretty it’s unfair, and YN thinks it’s nice seeing him outside of the school environment. He’s much more relaxed, and she notices he carries himself around with a sort of gleam to him, and many heads turn to look at him when he walks, but, then again, it has always been like this when it came to him.

As he’s walking back with their orders, she can fully grasp how he’s dressed: a pair of distressed jeans hug his legs, tucked away in a pair of black Uggs that YN finds adorable (even more so when she remembers Aidi owns a pair exactly like him’s), and a black hoodie on top, his pink fluorescent beanie tucked away in the back pocket of his jeans. When he catches her looking, she averts her gaze quickly, but she doesn’t miss the smile he throws in her direction.

She tries not to blush too much when he sits in front of her and pushes her coffee towards her direction. He then takes the ceramic plate off the tray and positions it in the center of the table.

She takes a sip of her coffee and her eyes close as she tastes the sweet hot drink, “still ‘member your coffee order”, he chuckles, smirking with his lips around his own mug of coffee.

YN takes a big gulp before setting her mug down, her cold fingers wrapping around it to keep some of the warmth with her. She doesn’t know how he could be so carefree in the way he delivers these types of informations.

To YN, remembering how someone takes their coffee after probably what could be more than five years, is a big deal. Like big. Because she remembers only a few of her friend’s coffee orders. And among these, there’s Harry’s. But that isn’t special on her part, because she used to have a crush on him and she’d always be extra mindful of every little thing he did, and she knows for a fact that wasn’t Harry’s case when it came to her, so, once again, it doesn’t have to mean anything. 

It doesn’t, right? She needs to convince herself many times of this before she goes down a rabbit hole too intricate for her sanity.

“So…” she trails off, uncertain on how to make small talk, “’s been a long time, huh?”

Fuck, when she thought she couldn’t get any more awkward than she already was, she delivers the exact same line he had told her days ago at the school. 

“Yeah” he giggles, and if he noticed that she repeated his own words he doesn’t let her know, “you’re a teacher now.”

Her brows furrow in the center and she throws him a puzzled look, “I am. Don’t try to act too disappointed. You say it like there’s something wrong with it.”

“No, no, ’s not that” he’s quick to say, waving a hand in front of him, “of course there’s nothing wrong with being a teacher, bug, I just… I remember your stories.” 

It’s weird to her, how he would go there not even ten minutes into their coffee date, and she wonders what his point is. The chosen pet name doesn’t go unnoticed, and she feels the sound of her heart beating in her ears, but she knows it doesn’t have to mean anything. Probably too much baby talk with his three years old. 

“Wha’ you used t’write in class. — he clarifies — you were good. Like… we’re talkin’ Stephen King good. I can’t believe yeh’re not writin’ anymore” 

“Who told you I’m not writing anymore?” She teases.

He shrugs, “Figured you aren’t…” 

“I’m not” she admits sadly, shaking her head. “But I wasn’t that good. I was… okay” 

“You were, though. You really were… gotta give yeh self more credit” 

She looks down and plucks a piece of banana bread with her fork, bringing the small bite to her mouth and closing her lips around it.

She doesn’t miss how his eyes fall to her mouth, and she suddenly feels too hot. 

She clears her throat and he averts his gaze quickly, bringing the mug to his lips and taking a small sip of his coffee.

“Let’s talk about you, then” she points her index finger in his direction and grins jokingly, “do you even work? Or are you a stay at home dad?” 

She feels a little silly now, and she wonders if he understood the true meaning behind her question. Of Course she wanted to know what he was doing with his life, but she really, really, really wanted to know if he was married, too. Can you blame her? 

He blows a laugh through his nose and, “Bloody hell, I wish! Stay at home dad — he repeats in a mocking manner —, no… I write stuff”

YN furrows her eyebrows as she chews around a rather dry piece of banana bread “stuff? What do you mean?”

“Whatcha think I mean? Books, ‘f course! Silly thing yeh are” he laughs and YN really wishes the ground would open and swallow her in one big bite.

“Well” she trails off, “I recall you mustn’t be very good. Never seen your name in a book shop” she raises her brows in a challenging manner and her lips open in a grin across her face.

She likes teasing Harry because he gets all flustered and antsy, and for a moment it makes her feel in control. For a brief moment, though, because he’s quick to respond with a wit remark.

“‘Nough o’that! Yeh haven’t seen my name ‘cos I write under a different one…” 

“I don’t believe you” she says, shaking her head.

He raises his eyebrows in surprise and smiles a sly smile at her, “have you ever read ‘The Argonauts’?”

“‘f course I have” she scoffs, “it’s like the most popular book of the last… shut up! Shut up! No, no way!” 

“Don’ act so surprised, pet! Yeh’re gonna shatter my ego” he says, showing one of his dimples in a sideway smile. YN has to refrain herself from poking her index finger into it.

“Uhm, sorry… it’s just… wasn’t expecting it” 

Harry watches as she lowers her head and brings the mug of coffee to her lips, taking a small sip. Her cheeks are pink and Harry wonders if it’s from the warmth of the drink or because of him, he likes to think it’s the latter, but he knows it’s probably not. YN has always been one hard to read, and as the time passes, he observes that hasn’t changed. She’s slightly more open now, at least she engages in a conversation, whereas before, she always seemed too busy to talk to him. 

“You could do it too if only you wanted” he shrugs.

He’s aware the atmosphere between them suddenly changes, but he doesn’t regret his words. He remembers how passionate she was about writing, and he remembers how good she was too, much better than him, and it pains him to think she’s spent years not knowing it.

“Maybe I don’t want to.” She snaps, “you don’t know me like that anymore”

“Think I never did, bug” he says, and YN doesn’t miss the embittered grimace that spreads across his features.

“Aidi is a cute kid” YN says after a while, tracing the handle of her mug with her fingertip. She notices he hasn’t eaten the cake, and she pushes the plate closer to him.

“She is” he smiles happily, picking up the other fork and dipping in the banana bread, “love her so much. Dunno what I’d do without her”

YN reciprocates his smile, “she’s very polite. You and her mum did a good job”.

She bites her bottom lip and she feels mortified. What possessed her to say that, she doesn’t know, and if Harry wasn’t aware of her crush up to that point, he must have definitely understood now that she manipulated the entire conversation on finding out if he has a partner.

Harry looks in her eyes with a glint in them, and he smiles amused, “are yeh askin’ me if I’m single?”

“What! No! You obviously aren’t, I’m not…”

He interrupts her with a loud laugh and “i’m just teasin’, love. Her mum isn’t in the picture. She bailed when Aidi wasn’t even one. Claimed it was too much, she was too much.”

“Oh, Harry. I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything” she smiles sadly, and she stretches a hand across the table to meet his, which she squeezes lightly.

“’s okay. I don’ blame her. A child ’s a big responsibility” he shrugs, and when YN goes to remove her hand, he only squeezes it tighter, “but she definitely didn’t raise her”

YN nods and throws him a brief smile, the skin of her hand burning under his touch. Harry doesn’t remove his hand until the very last moment they have to leave, and she feels both hot and cold in his presence.

She had forgotten what it was like, being in his presence, and if her feelings were under control before, she feels them inside her like a raging river now, pushing to be let out. 

It’s weird, to her, because it’s both premature and both too late, now, and despite the shift in their dynamic, and despite feeling like the universe might have given her a second chance, she isn’t brave enough. She’d never speak first. It’s a tale as old as times, and it’s been like that since she was little, and perhaps that’s why her relationships with the other sex stayed circumscribed to awkward hookups with strangers she’d met at bars, sometimes even single parents, but that was very, very awkward after (and it happened only one time, so it doesn’t even count!)

“‘m really happy we did this” he smiles. They’re both walking out of the coffee shop now, and he holds the door open for her, and YN really tries not to stumble on her feet. Now, that would be very awkward. 

Maybe, it’s a cruel joke of the universe, or she’s just as clumsy as a little kid, because as soon as she steps outside, she turns around to wait for him, and in doing that, her shoe stamps on the untied lace of the other shoe, and she feels her feet tangled together when she turns.

She prepares herself from the embarrassing imminent fall, but instead she is met with a pair of big arms circling around her waist and holding her in place.

Her nose is pressed against Harry’s chest and she tries to be very subtle in the way she takes a small sniff of his scent, smelling perhaps his fabric softener mixed with a woodsy, tobacco scent, that she figures could be his cologne.

“Woah, easy there, bug” firm, strong, hands take a hold of her bicep and she regains the balance on her feet, her eyes still avoiding his.

“Strong reflexes you have there” she mumbles, and she feels so embarrassed she might throw up all over her sweater.

“Comes in handy with a three year old” he chuckles, his fingers still gripping the fabric of her sweater.

“There’s the little bugger” he says, and before YN can say anything, he crunches down on the ground and starts untying her shoe laces.

He ties them back in their place, and YN smiles despite the embarrassment when she notices he still uses the method of the two bunny ears, and she remembers Aidi telling her that her daddy is teaching her how to tie her own shoes (“because I’m a big girl now, Miss YN”).

“There ya go” he pats behind her knee and smiles slyly at her when he’s back at eye level.

“Thank you” she blushes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You know…” he trails off, and YN finds herself leaning closer, almost too scared that someone else would hear him and that his words weren’t only for her to hear, “you haven’t changed a bit.”

Her mouth twitches and she tries not to feel too disappointed, feeling at a loss for words.

She bites down on her bottom lip and she crosses her hands against her chest to shield herself from the sudden wave of cold that possessed her. She doesn’t know what to say so she chooses to not say anything, she just watches as he takes his car keys out of his pocket.

She has to bite down her tongue to refrain herself from asking about the bunny. Because there definitely is a keychain in the shape of a very cute cream colored bunny hanging from his keys, and she isn’t delusional now. She’s sure it’s a bunny. 

She smiles at him when he catches her staring at his fingers wrapped against the keys, and he reciprocates the smile. Unspoken words linger between them, a question about a bunny and an honest conversation about feelings, and it goes way back, to a conversation they both aren’t ready to have.

“See yeh tomorrow?” He asks, to which YN nods, “yes.”

They part after a brief hug and a promise of doing this date thing again, and YN tries not to smile too much on the tube on her way home to not scare the other passengers. 

And to think he said he didn’t know her. YN thinks he may know her better than anyone else.

…

It’s a little later in the month now, and despite the chilly weather, YN can’t wait to get to school.

Every year, the teachers organize a small, mid day, trip to the zoo, something easy but that the kids love very much, and parents are welcomed to come too, if they don’t feel safe enough to leave their kids with just the teachers. YN is ecstatic when she walks inside the classroom and a bunch of kids are already inside with Miss Enya, loud chatter fills the room, and she can feel the excitement lingering in the air.

It’s endearing, really, how something as simple as a trip to the zoo could make a kid so happy and giddy, and she just loves the atmosphere in general. She also really loves animals, and this zoo is more of a farm, really, so she knows the animals are being taken care of rather well.

Harry walks in at around 8, Aidi perched up on his lap, swinging her little legs happily.

She smiles at him a warm smile, and once he settles the little girl down, he makes his way quickly towards her.

“Don’ think we’ve ever been this early” he laughs, knuckling at his eyes tiredly. He looks extremely soft, and YN takes in his appearance. He’s wearing a pair of running shorts, with a black sweatshirt on top, the lace tied at the neck, his feet tucked in a pair of white vans with white socks ending at his low calves. YN thinks she’s never seen him dressed as casual as he is now. His hair looks soft and disheveled, as if he’d just washed it a couple of hours before, and YN has to refrain her hand from brushing away a stray curl that’s fallen on his forehead.

“They love the zoo” she simply says, shrugging.

He nods as he looks around and YN wonders if he, too, can feel the excitement that’s lingering in the air, “do yeh need help with somethin’?”

“Can you help me pack the snacks? I’m a little behind” she gestures towards the apples and chocolate bars she had bought earlier in the morning. 

“‘f course” he smiles, rising the sleeves of his sweatshirt up to his elbows and positioning himself next to her. He picks a small, clear, plastic bag and takes first an apple and then the milk chocolate bar, putting them both in the small bag along with a napkin, before twisting the ends of the bag and tying it in a knot.

“No bunnies today?” He asks after a while, and YN really has to refrain herself from asking him to repeat himself.

She looks at him with her brows furrowed and he points to her top, a black hoodie similar to his in style, “no bunnies” he repeats, as if it was the most normal thing ever.

At this point, YN really can’t understand whether he’s teasing her or flirting with her. 

She tsks her tongue against her palate and once she gains his attention, she brings two hands to the neck of her hoodie, tugging it down and revealing the gold necklace tucked away in the warmth of her shirt. 

Harry raises one hand and brushes his fingers against her collarbone to pick up the necklace, not daring to go under her hoodie, and when the pendant is out and swaying against her chest, he picks it up in his hand. It’s still warm, and he feels a twitch in his belly at the thought of where it was tucked away between her breasts. 

“See, — he smirks, raising his gaze from the bunny to her eyes — I knew it was a necklace”

He throws the pendant another amused glance, and then he picks the fabric of her hoodie between his thumb and index finger at the neck, letting the necklace fall back to its previous hidden place, and then he turns back to packing the snacks, as if what he just did didn’t ruin YN completely. She feels her chest heaving, and she’s suddenly hyper aware of the necklace against her skin, as if it caught fire with his touch, and she feels the bunny fall hidden between her bra, warm from his hands. She’s completely ruined. And she thinks her panties are too.

…

 “Daddy! Daddy! Snakes!!! I wanna see the snakes!” 

Aidi comes running towards them when they pass the reptile area and she probably sees a drawing of a snake on one of the signs, tugging Harry’s hand to gain his attention. 

“Bug, yeh know daddy doesn’t like snakes” he whispers, crunching down to her level, and YN grins teasingly because despite his effort of talking in a small voice, his daughter betrays him saying “daddy yeh don’ have t’be afraid, there’s the glass to protect yeh!”

YN chuckles loudly when she hears that, and Aidi looks up at her teacher with the most father-like grin YN had ever seen, “daddy is scared of snakes”.

“Am not!” He blushes, rising up from his crunched position, “YN, don’t laugh. I am not”

YN only laughs louder, throwing her head backwards and placing one hand against her tummy.

Aidi joins her, giggling loudly at her daddy’s pouting lips.

“I can go with you” YN proposes, looking down at Aidi. 

After the first tour of the zoo, the two teachers agreed with the parents to split up, to give every kid the opportunity of seeing what they wanted to see most, according to meet up at 1pm for lunch. 

Harry had asked YN if she wanted to tag along with them, and Aidi had jumped in her place when she said yes, so that’s how they got here, in front of the reptile area.

“Yes!” She jumps excitedly, still holding her daddy’s hand, “thank you miss YN”

“Yeh don’t have to thank me, love. C’mon!” She stretches a hand for her to take, which Aidi does duteously, and together they walk inside the reptile house.

Once they’re inside, Aidi asks to be picked up to see the snakes better, and YN watches enamored as the little girl waves at the snakes resting inside the vivarium.

It’s nice to see how gentle Aidi is, because in a way, she’s an extension of Harry, and seeing how good he did with her, warms YN’s insides until she feels her limbs turn to jelly.

And to think he raised her alone! He did such a good job, she doesn’t know how to tell him again without sounding weird. It’s a strange feeling, watching the child of someone you once were in love with. Because at this point there’s no use in denying it. She was in love with Harry, the biggest crush she’d ever had for someone, never developed and never told, which is probably the most pathetic thing YN can think about. 

“Were you friends with my daddy?” Aidi asks all of a sudden, still perched against her hip. 

“Yes, I still am his friend” 

The little kid nods and points to one of the snakes that’s resting on a tree branch, “what’s his name?”

YN couldn’t possibly know his name, so she hums and pouts her lips jokingly, “I don’t think he has a name, bug.”

Aidi frowns at her words and YN is quick to say: “why don’t we name him?”

The toddler opens her mouth in a toothless grin and she sways her little legs in YN’s hold, excitedly. 

“I wanna call him Mr Snuggles”

YN tries to suppress her laugh because she doesn’t understand how a snake could be associated with snuggles, of all things, but she knows this is a very serious matter in the perception of a three year old, so she assumes a serious face and gives her a firm nod of the head, “that’s a perfect name for him”

Aidi smiles brightly at that, happy to have the approval of her — favorite, Harry had confessed — teacher.

…

Back on the bus, YN is checking that every kid is strapped in as she walks through the bus’s hallway, smiling at every kid that she sees (most of them sleeping) and when she reaches Harry’s familiar face illuminated by the small light shining on his seat she smiles brightly at him.

When she notices the empty seat next to him she frowns and she goes to ask him where Aidi is, but he’s quick to say: “wanted t’sit in the back, like a big girl, she said” 

YN giggles at that and stretches her neck to look at the back of the bus, where she sees a group of toddlers sitting in the last row, she spots a sleeping Aidi between them, with her face propped against the big window.  

When the bus takes a big pothole, she has to hold on tight to the seat next to him to prevent her from falling, and when Harry notices that, he tugs on her hoodie with his hand to gesture her to sit next to him.

It’s almost six now, the sun has set and the road is dark, as is the bus, the led blue light of the hallway and every now and then the small one on top of the seats of still awake parents, the only sources of illumination. 

She plops down in the seat next to him, crossing her legs in front of her. 

He shifts in his seat so that he’s propped with his back against the window and his face is facing her. She does the same, watching him carefully. 

He stretches one leg towards her on the ground and he bends the other at the knee against the back of the seat. This way, the skin of his knee brushes against her thigh, covered in a pair of leggings, but she might as well be naked with the way he’s looking at her, like he’s ready to devour her, and she tries to think if he’s ever watched her in that way. She doesn’t know, because she never really paid attention, assuming right away he’d never even spare a glance in her direction. 

Was she wrong…

YN closes her eyes and she abandons her head against the headrest, shifting a little on her bum so she could get more comfortable, the long day catching up to her. 

After a while, she feels Harry shift in his seat again, but she is too tired to open her eyes and check what he’s doing.

She feels the light finger tip of his fingers brush against her temple, brushing the hair away from her face, then he caresses the skin of her cheek softly, the contrast of his cold rings against her warm skin a solace for her skin, and he is so delicate in his movements YN feels like a rare flower he’s scared of plucking.

When he reaches her lips, she doesn’t know if she’s dreaming, and she feels his thumb brush against her mouth, the skin of his thumb tender and warm. She feels a hand sneak against the side of her neck, cradling her jaw and pushing her delicately against him. 

She feels herself fall against his chest, between his legs, and she snuggles unconsciously against the soft fabric of his sweatshirt, her fingers reaching up to grab a hold of the fabric.

Her breathing regulates with every stroke of his gentle hand against her hair, and she feels herself fall, deeper and deeper in that rabbit hole she doesn’t see the end of.

…

YN stares at the screen of her phone, double checking the address Harry had written before ringing the door bell. 

It’s a warm Sunday of November, and YN is standing outside Harry’s house, a plastic pink bag tucked between her fingers as she chews nervously on her bottom lip. 

When Harry had told her, at the beginning of the week, that Aidi’s birthday was coming up and she’d begged him to invite her to the small gathering Harry was throwing her, YN certainly didn’t have it in her to decline.

It warmed her heart that Aidi liked her so much that she wanted her at her birthday party. These things are weird, and kids always watch on their teachers with an eye on, wary of the power dynamic. But perhaps that wasn’t Aidi’s case. 

YN can already hear the loud screeching voices of small kids playing, and when Harry opens the door, she greets him with a brief hug, which he reciprocates kindly.

Weeks have passed from the zoo trip, and they didn’t speak about what happened on the bus, because truly, what was there to even speak about? 

Harry is kind, and gentle, and probably just didn’t want her neck to hurt, his fatherly instincts kicking in providently. It’s as simple as that. 

“Hi” he says, “come in”.

YN walks inside, light on her feet as she follows him. He’s wearing a big knitted brown sweater, the neckline and the hem of the sleeves detailed in green, paired with a pair of green tailored pants that hug his thighs just right, and YN can see the muscles of his legs stretch as he walks. 

“Aidi’s present” she holds the pink plastic bag between them, and Harry throws her a furrowed look, “yeh didn’t hav’to”

YN swats playfully at his arm and rolls her eyes, “‘f course I had to!”

He grins at her and then eyes her carefully, gesturing towards her coat when he sees she’s about to take it off “yeh can put that in m’room upstairs. Don’ wan’ t’get it mixed up with t’others. ’s t’second door on the left” 

YN nods her head and gulps under his gaze, removing her coat and holding it tight against her chest.

Maybe wearing the most revealing dress she owns wasn’t a good idea. She’s still his child’s teacher, for god’s sake!

Well, she can’t really go back now, can she?

The dress isn’t even that revealing, it’s just flattering, with a square neckline that shows a little bit of her chest, long sleeves and that ends just about mid thigh. Opposed to the oversized jeans and big sweaters she wears everyday at school, it’s a big change. 

She turns around and walks towards the stairs, following his instructions.

She opens the door of his room and walks in, leaving her coat on his bed, and she tries not to think too much about how she’s leaving her coat on his bed. The room is nice, it reminds her of Harry, colorful and lively. The sheets are white but the bed is a nice cream color, above the headrest there are three abstract paintings that remind her of Jackson Pollock’s. She walks closer to his bed side and she smiles when she sees a framed picture of him and Aidi. He’s smiling brightly as he holds her against his hip, both dressed head to toe in Disney merch, Aidi showing off the most precious little Mickey Mouse ears on top of her head, Harry sporting a matching pair, and she feels herself fluster at the sight. 

They are both so precious, she can’t believe Aidi’s mum didn’t want to be a part of their life. Maybe she feels a little jealous, because in her mind, she truly did have it all and threw it away; she’s aware it’s unfair, thinking about others this way, and she’d never even met this lady! What if she was nice? 

She doesn’t know, she just knows it wasn’t fair, leaving like that, and she wonders if Harry still feels the pain of it or if it’s an entirely healed wound.

She walks out of his bedroom and shuts the door behind her, looking attentively at the pictures on the walls and paintings he decided to have framed. YN believes you can tell a lot by someone’s house, and the chosen decor that comes with it, and she wonders what could be behind the closed doors she passes on her way from Harry’s bedroom to the staircase.

Perhaps he has a room full of books where he spends his Sunday afternoons, or maybe a playroom for his daughter… one must definitely be a spare bathroom, the other…

“Miss YN?” She hears a small voice coming from behind her, and she turns her body quickly in its direction.

Aidi is looking at her with a puzzled expression, soon to be replaced by an excited one when she starts running towards her, hugging her leg tightly.

“Miss YN!” She exclaims, “why are you here? Daddy didn’t tell me”

YN furrows her brows at her and crunches down on the ground, hugging the little toddler.

She chooses not to linger on her words, she’s little, maybe she forgot she had invited her? Maybe Harry simply didn’t tell her? But YN remembers clearly how Harry had told her Aidi had begged him to invite her. Was he… lying? But why would he?

“I’m here because a little birdie told me it’s a special someone’s birthday?” 

“It’s mine! It’s mine!” She giggles, jumping up and down in her place.

YN picks her up and tickles her belly playfully, “mmmh, is it?”

“Yes!” She giggles again, “stop, stop, tickles” the hallway rumbles with the sound of their laughters, and YN wonders if this is what it would be like to have a family of her own… Hallways always filled with laughter and colorful bedrooms and rooms full of books…

“Do yeh want to see my room?” She grins, and YN nods at her.

She looks adorable in her checkered baby blue dress, her hair are tied out of her face with a clipped white bow, and YN feels her chest warm at the thought of Harry doing her hair, because she definitely knows it’s him now.

YN follows the toddler to her room, the door in front of Harry’s, and she opens her mouth in exasperated surprise once she sees it.

The walls are painted a pale pink, small elephants stickers plastered across the walls, and she can see on the ceiling the faint stickers of luminescent glow in the dark lights shaped as stars, a big crescent moon just above her bed.

She imagines what her room must look like at night, when it’s time to go to bed and Harry perhaps reads her a bed time story before tucking her in.

“Woah” she exasperates, “it’s beautiful!”

“I know” she giggles childishly, running to pick up a few of her dolls from the ground and putting them on the bed, “daddy did it”.

“You have a great daddy” YN lets out, and she blushes at her own words. It’s not like Aidi understands to an extent what she really had meant, but still, letting out those feelings makes her feel antsy.

“He is the best” she nods seriously, picking up from the bed another doll.

“Miss YN, do you want to play dollies with me?” She asks politely, showing her the two chosen dolls.

“I think we should go downstairs, bug! It’s your party!” 

“Uh! You’re right” she agrees firmly, and YN tries to suppress her laugh at her serious pout.

“We’ll play later, yeah?” 

Aidi nods once again and takes YN’s outstretched hand in both hers, and they both walk slowly out of the room. 

“You’ll stay for dinner?” She asks, hopeful.

“‘f course I am! ’s your birthday!” To which Aidi giggles loudly.

Laughter filling the hallways once again.

…

“Sorry I left you alone all day, hope yeh weren’t too bored”

It’s a little later in the day now, and YN is sipping on her drink absentmindedly while observing the beauty of Harry’s garden. The grass is well cut, English style, into a kind of hallway that serves as a driveway, and many flowers are planted adorning it. 

She’s standing on the patio, where everyone had sang ‘happy birthday’ to Aidi not more than an hour ago. 

Some of the guests have already left, leaving only a couple of Aidi’s close girl friends and their respective parents. The sun is still shining, but it has lost its warmth, and the air is turning colder with every minute that passes.

The day had gone by quickly, Harry had rented an inflatable castle that was set up in the small garden that surrounded the house, where the kids had played until exhaustion.

Then, after a brief lunch (cooked diligently by Anne — Harry’s mother, YN had found out), Aidi had opened her presents, sitting on the couch and wearing the most precious tiara YN had ever seen — she made sure to tell her that.

Harry had been kind of busy all day, mostly checking that the kids didn’t hurt themselves while playing in the garden, making sure everyone was well feed and that no one’d leave with an empty belly.

After Aidi had opened her presents, he took care of tidying up the living room, tossing the pieces of wrapping paper she had discarded all over when opening her presents.

YN had stayed behind, talking every now and then with a couple of parents from the school that would come up to greet her, and she didn’t miss how some of them had eyed her suspiciously, and she wonders whether they thought something was going on between Harry and her. 

She also didn’t miss how some of the mums would act around Harry, flirting blatantly with him, and she honestly can’t blame them. Harry is attractive, and above everything else he’s polite, kind and intelligent. Not to mention how much he adores his daughter.

it’s endearing how he takes his time to hear every single little thing she says, and he appears to engage in these conversations as well! He’s not only pretending to listen, he truly is interested in the way she sees the world and in the way she tells about it, and to YN, that is one of the most valuable traits of his character.

He’s standing in front of her now, towering above her and eyeing her carefully.

She shakes her head at his previous remark and brings a hand to shield her eyes from the sun, “I had a lot of fun”, she says, squinting one of her eyes.

He moves a little on the right to cover the sun and she lowers her hand thankfully, “i loved the bouncy castle, always wanted one” she chuckles.

“Yeah?” He says, smirking, his dimples appearing proudly on his cheeks, “maybe I’ll rent one for your birthday… if yeh behave, that is”

YN feels herself fluster, and she gulps, his words replaying vividly in her mind. 

If you behave.

He must definitely know the effect he has on her, because his eyes gleam, bright, and he looks down at her grinning slyly. 

She scoffs when she recovers control of her own mind, “I’m too old for that!”

“I’d rent one for grown ups, silly” he remarks, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

YN wasn’t even aware they made bouncy castles for grown ups, and now she kind of wants one for her birthday. She won’t let him know, though.

“By the way…” she trails off, because now she’s the one that wants to tease, “Aidi told me she didn’t know I was coming”

“She did?” And he raises his eyebrows in surprise like he was caught in a lie, only for a brief moment, though, because he’s quick to add, “Told her many times lying ’s bad.”

“I feel like you’re the liar” she mocks, swatting at his arm playfully. 

“YN” he says seriously, “are yeh sayin’ you believe a four years old over me?”

“That’s exactly what I’m sayin’” she nods.

He pouts his lips jokingly and YN really, really, has to refrain herself from kissing his pout away. 

Her gaze lingers a bit too much on his pouted, strawberry lips and she averts her eyes quickly when his tongue peaks out to wet them. 

“You’re silly” he chuckles, and he raises one hand to pinch her tummy through the fabric of her dress. The movement makes goosebumps prickle on her skin and YN crosses her arms against her chest to warm up.

“Are you cold?” He asks quickly, and she doesn’t even have time to say no that he’s already scurrying inside, walking through the glass door.

YN follows him with her gaze, and she watches through the glass as he picks up a throw blanket from the couch, his brows furrowed in concentration and his tongue peaking up from between his lips as he bends down to pick the blanket up. 

She turns her head quickly when she sees him make his was back to her, and once he reassumes his previous position in front of her, he opens the blanket to show it to her.

He unfolds it between them and then circles her shoulders with the blanket, wrapping it then across her front and tucking the hem under the other side.

“There yeh go” he smiles snugly. 

The blanket is soft and warm, and it hugs her body mellowly, and YN is aware it’s weird, but she suddenly feels protected under the shield of that soft fuzzy blanket, and perhaps not only from the cold…

“Thank you” she whispers softly, snuggling more in the blanket.

He looks at her every movement, his eyes are a deep shade of green, and she wonders if he’s ever looked at her like this before or if it’s the first time. She remembers he used to have these same eyes when he was a little bit drunk and the night was slowly coming to an end, or when he used to read one of her poems for class and he would look at the piece of paper as if he wanted to set it on fire with his gaze.

“Daddy!” They both jump at Aidi’s voice, and Harry turns his head quickly in her direction, welcoming her with a bright smile.

YN lets out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding in and she, too, turns to look at the little girl. 

“Is miss YN staying for dinner?” She asks, stretching her arms upwards, demanding to be picked up.

Harry shifts her on one hip and looks towards YN warily, “I don’t know, bug…”

“‘f course I am!” YN is quick to say, raising her hand to tickle at Aidi’s belly lightly, “told you already, haven’t I?”

The little girl smiles happily, snuggling closer to her daddy and YN doesn’t miss the bright smile Harry shows her, which she mirrors instantly.

…

“Do you have anyone you need?” YN coos, referring to the stuffed dollies that Aidi required to be tucked in next to her as well.

“Think so…” she whispers sleepily, crowing her neck to check if she had everyone.

It’s bed time, now, and Aidi had specifically demanded that YN had to be the one to tuck her in, to which YN had agreed without a doubt.

YN is about to get up from the bed when Aidi says “no! Wait! Cinnabun isn’t here”

YN furrows her brows, and throws a pointed look towards Harry, that is still propped against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. He has an alerted look on his face, and YN tries to make eye contact with him, but he averts her gaze quickly.

“Have yeh checked under the bed, pet?” He says, walking inside her room.

He stops in front of the bed, where YN is sat, and he places a ring-clad hand on the bed, right next to her thigh, crunching down on his knees to check under the bed.

“There she is! Little bugger! What were yeh doin’ under the bed?” He addresses the stuffed animal directly, “wanted to avoid bed time, huh?”

He pats away a little bit of dust off, and then places the bunny right next to his daughter, that holds it tight against her chest with the crook of her small arm.

YN is watching his every step as he moves, and she’s very well aware that Cinnabun is, in fact, a stuffed, pale pink bunny, dressed as a ballerina, and that resembles very much one of the bunnies that YN had printed on one of her old shirts she used to wear in college and that she eventually lost in the various times she moved.

When are coincidences no longer considered coincidences?

…

When Aidi has peacefully fallen asleep, Harry shuts the door quietly behind them and he makes his way down the stairs, YN trailing behind him, and she stays light on her feet, almost too scared she’d scare him.

Her mind is thinking a thousand thoughts all at once, and she isn’t really sure what to do. Does she address the bunny? Does she keep quiet? Is she going to pretend nothing happened? 

She doesn’t really know how to keep going, actually, and she isn’t sure how she’s supposed to engage in a conversation with him, when her own mind isn’t even connected to her mouth.

“Sorry she made you stay for dinner” he says once they reach the end of the stairs.

She wants to ask him if he’s sorry she stayed for dinner, but how can she?

“What? No! I’m happy I stayed” she shrugs, tucking her hands in the pocket of the hoodie he had lent her before dinner.

“Okay” he nods.

Something’s changed, YN can feel it in the way he’s averting her eyes, and she suddenly feels like she should leave. 

“Maybe I should go? It’s getting late…” 

“No!” He blurts quickly, “no — he repeats calmly — stay a little longer.” And it really sounds like a plea. 

And she doesn’t find it in her to go. It’s as simple as that. Sometimes all it takes is four small words.

So, she nods her head, and she gulps when she sees him visibly relax, some of the tension in his shoulders dissipating, and she wonders what the hell is going on.

Is it because of the bunny? She knows it sounds silly, bunnies aren’t special, most especially stuffed bunnies, and she’s aware they’re very popular with kids, but it’s the same bunny. Thesame. And hadn’t he not mentioned remembering it, she wouldn’t have thought any more than what it was; a simple bunny. But nothing was simple when it came to Harry. And nothing was simple when it came to YN. 

“Do yeh want some wine? I think I have some red in the cabinet…” he asks, pushing a stray curl out of his forehead with his fingers.

She hums, “yes. Yes, okay”

He nods and makes his way to the kitchen, and YN debates for a moment if she should follow him.

When he turns his head briefly to check where she is, she realizes he wants her to follow, and she does, catching up quickly with him.

…

A couple of drinks later, the tension has evaporated completely, and both Harry and YN are relaxed in each other’s presence, probably like they haven’t been in a long time.

They’re both sitting outside facing each other, on the wooden chairs in the patio, because Harry had claimed he was getting too hot inside. YN had chuckled loudly and told him it was probably the wine, but, still, he dragged her outside, picking up the throw blanket when walking on the way out.

YN has her legs crossed at the ankle and her feet propped on his upper thigh (she had originally put them on the chair, but he had moved them immediately after, claiming it was more comfortable the other way), and Harry the same, so the blanket could cover the both of them equally.

Harry is stroking the skin of her shin as he talks, because he is a really talkative drunk and a touchy feely drunk probably even more so. YN doesn’t know if he realizes what he’s doing, and most especially, what he’s doing to her, because with every stroke of his fingers against her naked skin, goosebumps pebble in its wake.

She takes a sip of her wine, and she bats her eyelashes tiredly, and she doesn’t know if it’s the wine or his velvety voice, but she feels herself almost drift off to sleep. Almost.

If it wasn’t for one thing Harry says that catches her attention and perks her up against the backseat of her chair. 

He was reminiscing on their college years, and he was rumbling, in YN’s opinion, and she was too tipsy and too besotted with the way he was caressing her skin to understand fully what he was saying.

Until he mentioned how he always used to ask her for a spare pen, and YN felt her breath catch in her throat, because there’s no way he remembers that.

“Yeh had so many! One time you gave me a pink one… I think you hand’t realized, and I really didn’t have it in me heart to tell yah, so I had like… five pages of pink notes!” He snorts, “they were so pretty, though” he says dreamily.

“You could have told me!” She chimes in, pinching the skin of his thigh covered under the blanket.

“Pff” he scoffs, “‘f course I couldn’t… I had like, the biggest crush on you. Like… the biggest” he stresses.

YN’s eyes widens when she hears him, and she lowers her glass on the ground, suddenly feeling very sober. 

“I was so in love wit’you! M’friends always used t’make fun o’me fo’it.” He continues, and he shakes his head and laughs a soft laugh through his nose, his green eyes twinkling like a lighthouse in the dark night, as if behind his gaze the memory of his college years is running fast as a joke YN didn’t hear quite well enough to participate in.

“What?” YN says, and she tries to hide the surprise in her voice. Her heart is beating fast in her chest and his words are replaying in her head. Isn’t he a little too old to play games? 

“Harry… what are you even… what are you talking about?” 

“Don’t tell me yeh didn’t know?” He raises his brows in surprise, and he balances his empty glass on the armrest of his chair, the clear wine stained glass shining in the night. “You were t’prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, o’course I liked yeh” he chuckles.

She feels her heart skip a beat as her eyes are fixated on an undefined point in front of her; prettiest girl he’s ever seen? That couldn’t possibly be true. 

Yn remembers how she was in college: shy, never spoke her mind, every once in a while — when people paid attention — she would crack a joke, that would come out strangled and rushed, and she remembers vividly how often her friends wouldn’t get the joke, and she’d have to explain it, therefore the joke losing all its funniness, and she would try her hardest not to avert her gaze from their eyes, and she remembers clearly in her mind how it felt, what was it like having all those eyes looking at her, especially a pair of green ones that used to always make her nervous — they still do, if she’s honest.

Once again, she tries to think about the past, and if there ever was a time when Harry had looked at her like more of the awkward girl that sat next to him in class, but she can’t find any. And at this point, after months of knowing — reknowing — Harry, shouldn’t she be able to tell when he’s telling the truth? Because he is, he looks like he is. And she wishes he is. But the thought carries with it a bittersweet taste, the awareness of being too late lingering on her head like Damocle’s sword.

“No… no, you were with Natalia, I remember you dating Natalia” YN says nodding her head, trying to somehow convince herself Harry is still going on with this joke she isn’t aware of. 

She’s positive she would’ve noticed if Harry liked her. 

But… would she, though? 

Because she remembers all those nights she spent looking at him, and averting her gaze when he’d catch her, and she vaguely remembers how sometimes she’d feel his lips linger a second too long on her cheek when he’d greet her goodbye. 

“No! — he says, furrowing his brows, — that was after. After I realized I had no chances with you. Natalia was kind o’… there. Yeh obviously didn’t like m’back… everyone knew. Y’were always in y’own world… I never really knew how to talk to you…” he says, and YN feels like she might throw up.

She feels hot and cold at the same time, and she wants to rip off the blanket from her legs, but Harry still hasn’t stopped touching her, and she feels lightheaded. 

She feels exposed, and she definitely feels stupid, and images of a very college-y Harry run fast before her eyes, as if her brain is presenting the proofs of what he’s saying.

She sees him laugh at her joke (squinted eyes and dimples on display too!) when she thought no one had heard her, she sees him looking directly at her that one time he was playing a Beatles song on the guitar, she sees him brush his knee against her thigh willingly, and asking for her pens, and complimenting her on her writing and on her stories, and she sees him looking with piercing eyes at her lips that one time she had to read her short story out loud.

She sees him now, looking at her with half lidded eyes, his hair clipped back with one of Aidi’s pink, flower shaped clips, and she feels sick. She feels sick and at the same time she wants to kiss him. She wants to lean in and brush her lips on his, taste the wine on his tongue, explore his mouth…

“Don’t worry, — he says after a while, when he realizes YN hasn’t said anything, waving a hand in front of them — I got over it after a while.”

“No… I… I didn’t know. You never — you never said anything, I…” at this point, she’s rumbling, but she really doesn’t know what to say. It’s sad, really, how much time she lost thinking no one liked her. Harry liked her. He liked her! Even if she was shy! Even if she was awkward! She can’t seem to wrap her head around it, somehow the thought of him liking her back, overwhelmed her. How sad could she really be?

“Oh! Don’t go all embarrassed on me now!” He giggles, but they both are aware that there’s no humor in his laugh, “It’s in the past now… told yeh I got over it.” He repeats.

“Yeah, yeah — she laughs nervously, shifting uncomfortably on the chair — I just wish I knew.” 

“Yeah… me too. Me too.” He nods, biting his bottom lip to prevent himself from going further. He had already ruined the night enough. He didn’t have to confess how he hadn’t gotten over her, not even a bit.

…

Harry looks at his reflection in the mirror and he sighs. He shouldn’t go. He knows he shouldn’t go. He knew it as soon as he read YN’s text, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to. After what he told YN, drunk on wine and untold words, he should’ve stayed low. And believe me, he wanted to. He even debated whether he should enroll Aidi in another kindergarten. It was that serious. But then… he saw YN. He saw her in school, wearing a big long sleeve t-shirt with the pink outline of a bunny on it, that almost swallowed her, and she looked fine, she smiled brightly at them once they came in, and he thought maybe she didn’t remember. Maybe she was so drunk she forgot how he told her about how much he loved her back in a time where everything seemed so simple yet it never truly was. That’s why, when he’d gotten the text, he only debated for a brief moment before answering.

“I look hot” he nods, trying to convince himself. He’s always been confident in himself, but… there’s something about getting rejected by the very first girl you liked seriously and having to see her after you professed your love for her.

“What was that, honey?” His mum, Anne, calls out from the bedroom, and Harry cusses under his breath. Great.

“Nothing, mum” he stresses, passing a hand through his hair to adjust them.

“You ready?” Anne asks once he enters the bedroom, and she walks up to him to tug at his tie a bit, straightening it.

“Yes” he nods, thanking her for the tie. “Aidi is okay?” He asks, picking up his phone from the nightstand and removing it from the charging cable. 

“Yes, already tucked in bed” Anne smiles, “so… this thing you’re going to…” she trails off, leaving the phrase unfinished.

“It’s for charity, mum. Aidi’s school is hosting it. I think all parents are going…”

“And are you going with someone… someone special, perhaps?” She teases, walking to his closet and putting away the fresh clothes she had just washed for him. 

“Mum! No!” He exclaims, whining, “you know I have no time for a relationship.” 

“I know, my love, but… it’s been four years now. Don’t you think it’s time to get back out there?” 

“I don’t need to, mum. Really. Things are fine as they are” he shrugs. “I have to go now, ’s gettin’ late”

“Okay, just lookin’ out for yeh baby” she says softly, raising one hand to squeeze his shoulder reassuringly. 

“I know, mum. I’m gonna say bye to Aidi, now, yeah?”

“You do that” she nods, following her son out of the room, “oh and Harry?”

“Yes?” He questions, his brows furrowed as he turns his head to her.

“You look handsome” she giggles before disappearing down the stairs. Harry lets out a groan at his mum’s teasing and makes his way to his daughter’s room. 

…

YN takes a sip of her champagne as she scans the room attentively. Many parents have come up to her to greet her hello, everyone but the one she was particularly looking for. It’s well past 10 now, and Harry still hasn’t show up. YN doesn’t even know if he’s coming, really. When she had sent the invitation, she didn’t know what to expect. After that night at his house, YN tried to play it cool, but his words resonated in her head every time she wasn’t busying herself with something. 

What was the point behind what he said? What did it mean? After all these years, did it have to mean something? Or was it something he said to be… fun? To reminisce on past times? 

She possibly couldn’t know, and she wouldn’t dare ask him, so she just pretended nothing happened between them, greeting him and Aidi with the biggest and brightest smile she could muster.

When she sees him walk in, she feels her breath catch in her throat. He looks… he looks handsome. Dashing. She truly wouldn’t know how better to describe him. His hair are brushed back from his forehead, but a single strand curl is falling in front of his eyes, and he’s wearing a black suit with a white shirt underneath it, a black tie around his neck. She gulps when they lock eyes, all the way across the crowd of people, and he smiles at her, dimples on display, his eyes bright and green.

He’s walking towards her, making his way through the room like he owns it, and once he’s in front of her, he lowers to greet her with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Hi” he says against her ear, “you look… beautiful” he tilts his head backward just enough to take her in, and she truly does look beautiful. She’s wearing a long, black velvet, off the shoulders, long sleeve dress, that hugs her in all the right places and curves. 

“Thank you” she blushes, raising one hand to hold against his bicep, “you do too”.

He grins at her and she flushes, looking around the room to avoid his piercing gaze.

“So, what’s this thing fo’ anyway?” He asks. 

“Oh… it’s just money the school raises for parents that can’t afford to pay the tuition, it’s a noble cause, really” 

“It is indeed, you didn’t mention that in your text” he questions, looking at her with his brows furrowed.

“I knew you’d come anyway.” She shrugs, “you’ve always liked helping others”

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise and he clears his throat, “That’s true, I do.”

She throws him a gleeful smile which he reciprocates immediately, and for a moment, they stay like that, looking in each other’s eyes, and YN doesn’t miss the gleam in his when he locks them with hers.

Harry’s thankful. He thought that after what he’d said, there would be tension between them, and that he’d kind of ruined their new found relationship, and he’s thankful now that he’s learned he hadn’t. It’s true, what his mum said, he’s been alone for four years, never really being alone but always feeling lonely, and it’s nice having someone to talk to, every once in a while. 

“Do yeh know where I can get a drink?” 

…

It’s a little later in the night now, and YN is feeling tipsy but definitely not drunk. Harry hasn’t left her side once, and they chatted like no time had passed between them, and it’s delightful. Truly. She hasn’t felt like this in a long time. 

“I think I need to get some air” she chuckles, “the champagne’s gettin’ to my head”

“Let’s go outside, yeah?” He takes her hand in his and guides her through the room. 

As they’re making their way out of the school, YN hears someone call her name from the hallway. She raises her head quickly, a puzzled look on her face that fades as soon as she recognizes the speaker, “oh my god, hi! How are you?” She exclaims, leaning over to greet Michail with a kiss on the cheek. 

“I’m fine! I was wondering where you were… kind of was looking for ya actually” he chuckles, raising one hand to scratch the skin behind his neck. 

“Oh…” she flushes, giggling embarrassedly. She hears Harry beside her clear his throat, and then two pair of eyes are on her, looking at her curiously. 

“Michail, this is Harry. Harry… this is Michail” she introduces them, and Harry stretches one hand between them, that Michail shakes tightly. 

“Nice to meet you, are you a teacher too?” He asks Harry. 

“What? No… I’m here as a guest” he chuckles, “YN’s guest” he points out. 

YN feels herself blush at his words, and she throws Michail a brief smile, “oh, okay” he nods, “so I guess I’m not seeing you later?” 

“Yeah, you guessed right” Harry smiles, but YN can hear the tension in his voice. 

What is happening? She feels her head spinning and she really needs to sit down. Or get some air. Either one would be fine. 

“Okay, it was nice seeing you, YN” Michail says, “you too, Harry” and he leans in to place a kiss against her cheek, waving bye to Harry and walking back in the other direction. 

YN watches his back as he walks away, and once he disappears behind the big doors of the gym, she turns her head to look at Harry. But he isn’t standing at her side anymore, he’s walked a bit ahead, a hand tugging at his hair. 

“Hey, you okay?” She whispers as she approaches him, and he’s startled by the sound of her voice. 

“Yeah, yeah” he nods, reassuring her. 

“Okay” she whispers once again, squeezing his shoulder lightly. 

 “Maybe I need to sit down” he ponders, nodding his head and locking his eyes into hers. His are panicked, searching all across her face, and he finds comfort in her soft gaze, but he doesn’t miss the confused look across her features. 

“Wait, let’s go in here, yeah?” She gestures towards one of the classrooms she knows is vacant at this time in the night. After hurrying Harry inside and checking that no one had seen them go in, she closes the door behind them. 

Harry sits on the big desk and YN stands in front of him, searching for his gaze with her eyes. 

“Harry… are you okay? What happened?” She tries again, stretching her arm to squeeze his bicep to gain his attention. 

“Is that… who was that?” 

“Who? Michail? He’s… one of the kids’ father” she says, “we used to see each other… a while back” she admits. 

“See?” He chimes, his brows raising in question. 

“We hooked up one time” she shrugs, crossing her arms on her chest to shield herself from the sudden cold that took upon her body. 

“And were you plannin’ on seeing him tonight, too? Because you know, when you sent me that text, I thought I was coming as your guest, YN!” He snaps. 

“You are my guest?” She says, but it comes out more like a question, and she doesn’t know why. Confusion is running through her mind and she feels silly standing in front of him like this. 

He scoffs at her words, “yeah, I am. Like every one else is, right? Because you didn’t invite me” “Harry, where are yeh gettin’ at? It’s a charity gala thrown by the school! Of course every one was invited” she clarifies, her brows pinched at the front. 

He shakes his head, “so I guess I’ve misread the signs” 

“What signs?” She questions, and when he doesn’t answer, she repeats herself: “what signs, Harry?” 

“I thought you invited me! But I guess you didn’t, because yeh don’t like me like that and yeh never did. It’s fine. I get it. I just thought… when the invite came… fuck… I don’t know what I thought” he rumbles, and YN feels her head pounding. His words don’t seem real, and she feels as if she’s experiencing this conversation from outside of her body. 

“I don’t understand” she simply says, because it’s true, she doesn’t, and despite feeling silly, she wants him to clarify. She wants him to be honest and tell it to her face. 

“I don’t know how to show it any more than I already am” he shrugs, his eyes avoiding her gaze, looking anywhere but her face. “I really don’t, YN. You have to help me here because I don’t…” he doesn’t finish his phrase on time that YN is already on him, cradling his jaw with one hand and the nape of his neck with the other, and she presses her lips against him, hard, in a kiss that knocks the air out of his lungs. 

He gasps against her mouth and she sighs into his, her fingers curling through his hair and tugging a bit. He places one hand on her hip and tugs her closer to him, parting his legs a bit to make room for her. 

As he indents his fingers on her skin, the realization of what’s happening finally hits her, and she parts from his lips with her chest heaving between them. Harry follows her lips with his own, and he pecks her mouth briefly once again. 

His mouth is greedy, and he kisses her like she could float away any moment, and she relishes in the feeling, and it makes her feel special, like she’s never felt in her whole life. She tugs on his hair and he sneaks his tongue inside her mouth,  exploring every inch of it. 

He caresses his tongue against hers, and it’s all teeth clashing against each other, and he’s sucking greedily on her bottom lip, drinking her in. He parts from her lips and makes his way down her neck, kissing against her skin avidly. He bites the tender juncture where her neck meets her shoulder and then licks against the bite, soothing the skin. He blows against the mark and then keeps going down, the low neck of her dress allowing him access. 

“Fuck” he breathes against her skin, “I waited years for this”. 

A whine comes out choked from his throat and she sighs heavily. He brushes his fingers against her arms, tugging down the sleeves of her dress with him. 

“Are you drunk? How much did you have to drink?” He asks mindfully, parting from her skin and looking agonizingly into her eyes. 

“I’m not that drunk” she states, her chest heaving with every breath she takes, “I feel okay. Do you?” 

He leans down to leave a kiss between her eyes and she closes them, not missing the affection behind his gesture. 

“Yes” he whispers, and YN can feel his breath against her mouth. She rises her head and their mouths meet in a shy peck. 

He then leans down to kiss her shoulder, and then tugs her dress down, exposing the skin of her breasts. 

She instinctively brings her hands to cover herself, her palms shielding her pebbled nipples, and “sorry, if it’s not… if I’m not…” she shakes her head, feeling pathetic in her shyness. 

With gentle hands he grabs both of her wrists and tugs them down, then he switches hands so he could hold them with just one hand, and he brings the other one to her side boob, caressing the skin with his thumb. 

She shivers under his touch, goosebumps pebbling against her skin, and she watches his every move, as his fingertips continue their path down her body, caressing her side and resting at her waist.

He splatters a hand against her stomach, stroking the skin softly, “Look at me” he says, and his tone is soft but has a dominancy to it, and YN finds herself obedient to him, and she rises her glance to meet his, albeit shyly.

“It’s me” he says, “it’s me” he repeats. As if to say, I’m an old friend, and nothing has changed. 

Does he know she’d dreamt of this feeling in the comfort of her bedroom many times?

“I know” she whispers, “i’m just…” 

“You’re perfect.” He chimes in, “ the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen”. And he’s aware he shouldn’t be like this. He’s aware he could be making a fool out of himself, because even if she has consented to this, this doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It doesn’t mean she feels it too. But he has to tell her, now that he has a chance. Now that his behavior and sappy compliments could be misjudged as coming from horniness. He can tell her now. Just this once, she can have everything.

She smiles shyly at his compliment and she nods her head briefly, “okay?” He repeats, “okay” she reassures.

And they’re back to square one, but this time, when Harry leans in to take her right nipple in his mouth, she doesn’t stop him. She frees her wrists from his hold and brings a hand to the back of his head, pushing herself into his mouth. 

When his teeth graze the sensitive skin of her hardened nipple, she lets out a whimper, and Harry, avid and eager to hear the sound again, bites gently on it. 

“You’re so sensitive” he breaths out, as he continues sucking on her nipple. 

He brings the hand that rested against her stomach to take her other breast, and he pinches the other nipple between his thumb and index finger.

He parts from her nipple, breathing heavily, and YN lets out a loud sigh at the sight of his lips shiny with his spit and swollen from the kissing. He’s gorgeous. 

He brushes his thumb against her nipple, and “more” she pleads, begging him. 

He chuckles breathlessly, “can you take your clothes off for daddy?” He asks, and YN feels herself almost faint on the spot. Of course he’d have a daddy kink.

She gulps and with trembling hands she reaches behind her back to unzip her dress. 

She halters her movement once she remembers a tiny detail they both didnt notice, “the door” she stresses, “we didn’t lock the door” 

He throws a glance towards the door, and stands from the big desk, walking towards it.

“The door doesn’t lock” he says after checking. 

“Fuck” she breaths out.

He turns around, a sly smirk adoring his features, and he makes his way back to her.

“That just means I’ll have to be quick” he grins. 

He places a hand on her waist and gives her a reassuring squeeze, “take the dress off”.

And YN reaches behind her back and tugs the zip down. She’d never had someone refer to themselves as her daddy before, and she feels so hot and wet she’s sure her panties are completely ruined. She doesn’t miss how he’s still completely dressed, and she pouts her lips at him, “you too”

“Shh” he shushes her, “daddy makes the rules”.

She bites hard on her bottom lip and with her fingers she pushes the loosened dress down her body, to pool at her feet. 

She’s just in her heels now, and she looks down at her feet, but before she can reach down to untie them, he stops her, “leave those on”.

She nods cautiously and when she sees him take a step towards her, she takes one back involuntarily. He’s looking at her as if he wanted to devour her, and she feels small before his eyes. And she likes that. Because this time, even if he’s in control, he’s completely dependent on her. And there’s a power in that too. 

Her butt meets the cold surface of the desk, and she jumps surprised at first, then she sits against it. Once he reaches her, he brings one hand on her outer thigh, caressing the skin there.

“S’soft” he murmurs, looking avidly into her eyes with his green ones.

“Scoot up” he orders, patting her thigh, and she obeys, sitting her bum on the desk.

With one hand against her chest he pushes her down, so she can lean against the surface, and she shivers once her back meets with the cold desk.

“Aw” he coos, “are you cold baby?” 

She hums, her hands subconsciously come up to shield her tummy from the cold, but he’s quick to grab them, “don’t worry, baby, I’ll keep yeh warm”

She gulps and closes her eyes once she feels him shift on his feet, crouching down to be at eye level with where she needs him most.

He brings his hands on her knees and parts them, but YN is quick to stop him with her anxious thoughts: “Harry” she breaths out “we don’t have time, the door doesn’t lock. There’s no time”

“Shh, baby, shh now.” He whispers, parting her knees once again, and she feels him speak against the skin of her inner thigh as he slowly, agonizingly, makes his way towards her clothed pussy. 

“Don’t call me Harry, yeh know better” he says, and with his palm he swats down on her cunt, making her let out a surprised moan, the much needed contact on her clit making the blood rush to her brain.  

“Let daddy make you feel good, huh? The quicker yeh are, the less chance we get caught” he smiles mischievously. She hums and closes her eyes forcefully. 

“Can’t believe yeh made me wait years to taste yah, such a bad girl” he says, and YN can feel his breath against her cunt, even though she isn’t sure what he’s doing right now with her eyes closed.

She feels his hands on her knees again and he opens them more to have better access, and then, he lays his tongue flat against her still clothed pussy and takes a big stripe, from her entrance to her clit.

She whimpers at the contact, her hips shifting, following his mouth. 

He chuckles against her skin, moving the tip of his tongue once again to her center, “tastes so sweet…”

She wants to ask for more, but she’s sure that if she were to ask him, he wouldn’t oblige, only teasing her further, so she keeps quiet, biting so hard on her bottom lip she can feel blood rush to the surface.

He brings one hand to twist the top of her panties and he tugs the fabric upwards, so he could see the outline of her pussy from behind them. 

“So pretty” he says, and YN whines at the sensation of her now too tight panties against her clit.

He brings his middle finger to her pussy and caresses her clit with a light touch that’s not remotely satisfying enough, and then presses down on it.

“Please” she begs, her legs fighting to close, because despite the contact not being enough, it’s still something.

“Please, what?” He chuckles darkly, his middle finger moving in circles on her clit now, but she needs to feel him without the fabric between them.

“More” she simply says.

“Tha’s not enough, pretty girl… you’ve been sooo bad, I think I should leave this pretty pussy as it is…” 

“No, Harry, please, please, I need it. Please. I want you to touch me”

 “Ah, Ah, Ah” he tsk, “i told yeh not to call me tha’” he’s really enjoying watching her squirm under his touch, and he brings his thumb down to her entrance to push in a bit, her hole sucking the fabric right in. 

“I’m sorry, daddy” she whispers, embarrassed, “please”

He smiles victoriously and with two fingers he picks the fabric of her panties and snaps it back against her cunt, “see, that wasn’t so hard, huh?”

She shakes her head and lets out a whimper.

“Do yeh want my mouth or my fingers?” He asks, as he leans down to tug at her underwear.

“Both” she pants.

“Soooo greedy” he teases, but once her panties are out of the way, he doesn’t waste a second before he’s spreading her legs open, and he watches as her lips part, exposing her pussy to him completely.

Her clit is swollen between them, and he thinks maybe he’s teased enough, so he leans down and finally takes it in his mouth, sucking on it avidly.

YN lets out a loud moan when his tongue finally comes in contact with her clit, and she brings one hand down to bury between his hair, pushing him against her.

He moves the tip of his tongue sideways against her clit, and then against the under part of it, where he finds she’s most sensitive.

With his middle finger, he caresses at her entrance, massaging around before he pushes it in, burying it to the knuckle. The fit is tight, and he wonders how much time it has been since she’s slept with someone. 

Still sucking on her clit, he starts moving his finger in and out, curling it every once in a while against that spongy part inside her, sure from the sounds that leave her mouth and the wetness that’s coating his finger, that she’s enjoying this just as much as he is.

Once he feels her walls loosening up a bit, he withdraws his finger to draw a second on in, and she gasps at the feeling.

“Shh” he shushes, “relax. I’ll take care of anything, let daddy take care of yeh”

After a couple of pushes, she relaxes, and he starts moving up the speed of his fingers, still sucking on her swollen button. She lets out whimpers and little mewls, and he understands she’s close by the way her walls flutter against his fingers. 

He’s both rough and soft in the way he’s taking her, and YN wonders how that could even be possible. She doesn’t stay on the question much longer, though, because she starts to feel the unmistakable pressure of an orgasm blossoming in the pit of her stomach, and she clenches around his fingers.

“I’m gonna cum” she blurts out, “i’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum… oh!” She feels him speed the movement of his fingers inside her, and he starts alternating between sucking on her clit attend staking it with his tongue rapidly.

“Cum, baby, cum for me” he hums against her clit, and she feels the vibrations of his voice right against the bundle of nerves, and that’s what eventually pushes her to the edge.

She arches her back as her legs fight to close, and Harry guides her through her orgasm as he keeps fingering her, this time bringing his thumb to stroke against her clit because he wants to watch her when she cums.

He feels her walls flutter close as they push his fingers out, and he rolls her clit in circular motions with his finger until she’s back from her high, breathing hard with her chest heaving. He leans down to lap at her juices, “wanna lick yeh clean” he says, and he does, tonguing at her entrance and drowning in her wetness.

He leaves a final kiss to her clit and she whimpers at the sensitivity of it all, her back still against the desk. 

“You okay?” He asks after some time, and he notices how her chest is still heaving with big breaths.

“Yes, give me a minute and I’ll return the favor” she replies, mechanically, and Harry furrows his brows at her statement. 

Of course, he was delighted that she wanted to return the favor… but was that all it was? A favor? He suddenly feels confused and the previous excitement that had run through his veins left place to a kind of disappointment he didn’t know what to make of. He thought he had been pretty obvious with his feelings, and with the way he had shown them, but maybe, nothing had changed since college, and he was still that guy that got rejected many times by the girl he thought was the prettiest and nicest.

“It’s okay” he shrugs, his voice suddenly low and stern, “i’m okay” he continues.

YN rises her back from the desk and looks at him pointedly, and once she takes in his serious features, she feels her heart jump to her stomach.

Oh. He doesn’t want her to. That’s what it is. 

She suddenly thinks about how stupid she had been to kiss him. Of course she doesn’t regret it, because she could never regret what it led to, but being rejected like this? Fuck, she certainly wasn’t expecting it. 

Wasn’t he turned on? She swore she could have felt his hard cock brush against her a couple of times, but maybe after he had eaten her out, it went down? 

That’s one thing that had never happened to her, despite her many insecurities, and she feels her ego suddenly bruised. 

She nods and gets up from her position, her feet touching the ground. She watches as he lowers to her feet and picks up her dress, handing it to her. 

She suddenly feels too exposed, which is weird, after what happened, and the air had turned cold and uncomfortable, and she can’t wait to leave the classroom and go home, tucked away in the comfort of her bedroom where she figures she’ll spend the entire weekend, given this soul crushing experience she just had.

She takes the dress from his hold and notices how he turns his back to her, giving her privacy to redress, which is nice, of course, but totally necessary, and it’s making her really paranoid, because is he so grossed out by her body he doesn’t want to take another look at it?

She slips in the dress, and tries to zip it herself, but when she realizes she can’t zip it all the way, she clears her throat to gain his attention.

“Can you?” She gestures towards the back with her thumb, and he gives her a swift nod before circling her and standing behind her. 

He brushes the hair from her back and drapes it over her one shoulder, his fingertips brush against her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. She hears the sound of the zip being pulled up and he clears his throat, “all done” he says, and she doesn’t miss how it’s the only thing he’s said in a while.

“Thank you” she smiles, and he gives her a small one back, but his dimples don’t appear, and she’s saddened by that realization. 

“We should go” he trails off, “’s gettin’ pretty late”

YN doesn’t have a watch on her but she figures it couldn’t be later than midnight, but if he wants to go, she certainly can’t stop him, albeit a little disappointed. This isn’t how she was hoping the night would end. 

Harry walks to the door and opens it, letting her out first, and they walk in silence to the entrance of the school.

“Do you have your car?” He asks, and when she nods, he says: “Can you drive? Want me to call yeh a cab?” 

“No, I’m fine. I told you I’m not that drunk” she shrugs, and she really can’t help but think how she wishes she was drunk instead. None of this would’ve happened, and she would be able to look him in the eye without feeling the embarrassment of his rejection. 

“Goodnight, then” he says, giving her a curt wave of the hand before heading off toward the parking lot.

“Goodnight” she says back, but he’s already left.

…

The weekend flies by and once Monday arrives, YN is dreading the school day. She almost debates calling in sick, but she knows it would only make the situation worse, because sooner or later she’d have to face a curly headed lad she wasn’t particularly keen on seeing, the embarrassment from that Friday night still vivid in her memory. She pondered long on that night, sipping wine directly from the bottle (for dramatic purposes of course), and she wondered what could she had done wrong to make him react that way. Men, in general, were always kind of difficult to understand, to her, so she figures he probably just wasn’t that aroused anymore. Which is fine, she has to tell herself that at least a million times, because the rejection is so painful and overall embarrassing she doesn’t know what to make of it.

When she walks in the classroom that day, to her surprise Aidi is already sitting at her desk, her pudgy hand wrapped around a brown crayon that she’s moving in circles on the paper, drawing something YN can’t quite make out.

It wasn’t weird, the school offered pre-school from 6 am to the parents that had to work early in the mornings, what was weird was her presence that early, something that in the school year had never occurred before.

She wonders if Harry did it on purpose. Maybe he didn’t want to face her, and she has to take a big breath before erasing that thought off her head. She shouldn’t care what he did. As many years before, he was never hers, and nothing had changed. She feels a little silly of course for thinking that he may have had a special kind of feeling for her, and despite him telling her that he did, she’s definitely convinced he was just playing around that night in his patio.

She makes her way to Aidi, and she crutches down next to her, “good morning, Aidi” she says softly as to not startle her.

“Mornin’ miss YN” she smiles a toothless grin, her hand not stopping her movements.

“You’re here early today, huh?”

“Yes” she nods, eagerly, “daddy’s at work”

“Oh” YN replies 

“This early?” Is everything she’d like to ask, but it’s really wrong prodding on this poor child to get informations about her dad, so she erases the question from her mind.

“What are yeh drawin’?” She asks instead, to shift the attention from the feared topic. Despite her means not always being the most pure hearted, YN loves Aidi. She thinks she’s such a precious little thing, and she genuinely loves spending time with her.

“’s a picture of daddy ’n me” she says, picking the drawing up in her hands and showing it to her teacher, “love him s’much”

YN smiles fondly at the picture, a small stick figure holding hands with a bigger one that she figures are respectively Aidi and Harry, the irrefutable mop of curly hair drawn with the brown crayon.

“I know he loves you too” she simply says, “very much!”

“Yeah” Aidi agrees, picking up a blue crayon to color the sky. 

…

It’s much later in the day, now, around four pm, and YN is waiting for the remaining kids to be picked up. The school is closing earlier today due to a mandatory rat disinfestation, that the parents were notified of about ten days before, and one by one every kid is picked up and ready to go home, every kid but one, she can’t help but notice. Aidi. 

She tries to not pay too much attention to the irony of it all, and she wonders to what means Harry would go to not see her. 

Maybe he forgot about the disinfestation? She doesn’t know, and despite fearing the answer to the question, she’s his daughter’s teacher. And she’s an adult. So she takes her phone from the back pocket and with trembling hands she looks through her contacts until she finds his name.

The feeling of calling someone you don’t really want to hear, and being aware of the mutualness of this deep rooted fear, is something that never really leaves. Not even at 26. Not even now that she has a big girl job and an apartment all alone. 

The piercing sound of the line ringing has her bringing a thumb to her mouth, biting on her nails nervously. She peeks at Aidi that’s playing with a doll on the floor, and she’s glad she appears to be unaware of the situation. A parent forgetting to pick you up is something that can scar you for life.

“‘llo?” She hears from the other side of the line, and she almost jumps in her place at the sound of his voice.

It took him a while to answer, which is uncommon for him, and she wonders what he was doing. Was he working? But then again, he said he was a writer, so she figures he must be working from home? “Hi, Harry… it’s YN” 

“I know who it is. I’m kinda busy, wha’s wrong?” He stresses, and YN feels her heart beat fast. 

“Oh, nothing… ’s just, when are you picking Aidi up?” 

“I don’t know” he says sternly, “i’m kind of out of town right now, I’ll be back in a couple of hours and take her then”

“You can’t do that, didn’t you get the email? The school’s closing early… rat disinfestation an’all tha’… ’s not like we have rats, don’t worry. ’s just mandatory, and the school is required to do…” 

“Fuck!” He interrupts, “it must have slipped my mind this morning. Fuck!” He repeats.

YN hears him shuffle on the other end of the phone, and after a brief moment she hears a quiet explanation of the situation to what she figures is another person, and a hurried ‘goodbye’.

He clears his throat, “are yeh still there?” 

“Yes, hi, yes” she rumbles.

“I’m gettin’ in the car now, it’ll take an hour I think. Forty minutes if I hurry. Can yeh… can she… is she allowed to stay? Fuck, — he seems to be talking to himself now, and she hears the loud sound of his car horn beeping — who even gave yeh a license! Fuckin’ hell” he shouts.

“Harry” she trails off, hoping to catch his attention, “’s okay. I can take her until you’re not here. We could go get some ice cream, or yogurt!! Whichever she’s craving more. Wait… Is she allowed to eat ice cream? Because I know this delicious place…”

“YN!” He interrupts her again, “please get to the point”

“Oh… i was just talkin’ about this ice cream place it’s nothing serious”

“‘nough with the ice cream already! Can you really take her? I can pay you, like I would a nanny… yeh know I’m proper loaded so money isn’t a problem.”

“What? I don’t want your money. ‘f course I can take her! She’s such a cutie, we’re gonna have so much fun!!!” She smiles happily.

“Thank you” he sighs, relieved, “i’ll be there in an hour, more or less” 

“Okay. Drive safe, you don’t have to worry ‘bout her, she’s safe” she reassures him. Because then again, Harry is Aidi’s father, and she knows how much he worries when it comes to her.

“Okay” he says, and he appears calmer now, “but no ice cream before dinner, YN!” 

She scoffs, “you’re no fun”.

Didn’t he say ‘enough with the ice cream’?

…

YN ended up buying the ice cream for both her and Aidi anyway. 

(There was something so delicious about eating ice cream during the winter, and one thing abut being a grown up, YN had found out, was being able to eat whatever she wanted and whenever she wanted)

And the biggest cone she’s ever seen, too. Two scoops of chocolate and one of strawberry for Aidi. Screw Harry. That’s what she thought when paying for it, now… she felt a little guilty, of course, but she’d begged Aidi to keep this ice cream run a secret between her and her teacher, using the term on purpose because she knows how much kids respect their teachers. 

So… she figured he’d never know. 

“’s good, moppet?” She cooed, picking up a couple of tissues from the dispenser in the middle of the table to wipe at her mouth. 

Aidi only nodded, too busy with her ice cream cone to pay much attention to YN.

“Oh no!” Aidi pouted once the ice cream started dripping from her cone to her hand and finally to her white coat and white tights, the candid fabric now dirty with dark stains. 

“Oh god!” YN exclaims, “wait, let me help”

YN picked up some other tissues and started wiping at Aidi’s hands, who switches the cone from one hand to the other while she cleans her, but maybe letting a four years old eat an ice cream cone wasn’t the best of ideas. 

“Daddy’s gonna get mad” Aidi giggles when YN started wiping at the stain on her clothes without much result.

“Probably… with me though” she agrees, nodding her head thoughtfully.

“Sooo mad” she keeps giggling, “he always say: no ice cream before dinner!” She repeats, trying to mock his stern voice but failing, and resulting in the most adorable thing YN had ever seen, and she can’t help but laugh too.

“He’s such a meanie” she smiles, tossing the dirty tissues on the table before her.

“I won’t tell, miss YN” Aidi reassures, and YN smiles once she sees her little pink tongue peeking out from her mouth and trying to lick the chocolate ice cream off the side of her mouth.

“Thank you bug” she says, chuckling, “but I think he’s gonna notice” she frowns, pointing to the state of Aidi’s white tights.

“Mhmh” she agrees, humming. 

“When is he back?” She asks after a while, her tummy full of ice cream, a satisfied look on her face. 

YN taps the screen of her phone on the table to check the time, “i think he’s almost here”

“How much time?” She asks, swaying her little legs from the edge of the chair.

“Mmmhh,” YN ponders, she’s certain a four years old conception of time isn’t the same as an adult, so she gestures with her hands a small portion. “This much”.

“Oh, ‘kay!” She exclaims happily, “so… almost” she nods proudly.

YN giggles at her antics and reciprocates her nod, “yes”.

After about half an hour, her and Aidi are tucked away in the warmth of her car, the heating full blasting, and YN even removed her coat to let Aidi snuggle in it. She’d fallen asleep almost instantly once her cheek touched the window, and YN decided it would be best to just wait for Harry in her car after the ice cream. She couldn’t possibly bring Aidi to her house, and Harry had previously told her it’d take him only an hour, so she figured that was the best option.

Despite Harry’s good resolutions, he called at around six, almost two hours after she’d called him from the school, but YN was glad he took his time and didn’t speed, as she had told him on the phone, Aidi was safe with her.

She’s driving in silence to his house now, where they accorded to meet, trying to drive the best she can to avoid potholes as to not wake Aidi up.

Harry’s already going to be mad about the ice cream, and he’s already avoiding her all together, so she certainly thought it wasn’t a good idea to leave him with a fussy toddler on top of all that.

Once she reaches his house, she parks near the curb and texts him that she’s outside. 

He opens the door right away, almost as if he was expecting them from behind it, looking from the peep hole, and YN notices how, despite him being home for at least a good five minutes, he was still wearing his coat and shoes.

“Hi” YN greets him softly, somehow the tenderness of the situation easing the embarrassment she felt prior.

She’s aware he was beating himself up for forgetting about his daughter.

“Hey” he says, walking to the car and opening the passenger’s side door, “she asleep?”

YN nods her head, “out like a light”

When Harry leans down to pick his daughter up, he cradles her to his chest between his arms, holing her tight and placing a long, harsh kiss on her hair.

YN felt her heart clench at the sight. She understood he felt guilty, and she wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, and he most certainly wasn’t the first parent to forget to pick up their kid from school, and had it been four days ago, she probably would’ve told him. But now, after what had happened, how was she supposed to? Harry made it clear he didn’t want anything to do with her, romantically and sexually, so was it her place to reassure him?

“I’m so sorry baby” he whispers against her hair, and YN has to refrain herself to stretch out a hand to comfort him. 

“Le’s get yah to bed, huh?” 

But when Harry goes to turn around, a small whimper comes from the little kid in his arms, and YN can see a small arm reaching towards her.

“Miss YN?” Aidi asks, voice laced with sleep, and she knuckles tiredly at her eyes when YN smiles at her.

“Daddy, want miss YN to read me a story” Aidi demands, looking up at her father with big, puppy eyes.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sure your teacher has more important things t…” 

“I’ll read to her, ’s fine” YN chimes in quickly, because honestly, she really didn’t want this day to end. And Aidi particularly requested her, so who was Harry to deny it?

“YN” Harry warns, sternly, but YN has already made her way towards them, tickling at Aidi’s neck softly, “I’ll read how many stories yah want, moppet”

YN tries not to feel too disappointed when she hears Harry’s quiet scoff.

…

“Goodnight, Aidi” YN says softly, placing the hard cover book on her little bedside table on her right.

She’d read Aidi and her stuffed animals three stories, one about a frog that was too scared to go to school, the other about a cute elephant that wanted to be a ballerina, and the last one (Harry said it was her favorite) about a princess bunny that enjoyed drinking tea with her friends.

Aidi had chuckled every time YN did different voices for the animals characters, and after Harry told her she had to read to her stuffed animals too (she had five tucked next to her), she had started asking them every now and then if they were enjoying the story or if she had to reread something they didn’t understand. 

Harry had watched the scene fondly, and his heart had grown in his chest, full with love he knew he wasn’t supposed to feel. It was nice, watching how tender YN was with his daughter, and despite the warm feeling in his limbs, he felt bitter. Because why couldn’t he have that. What was it so hard to love about him that not only the mother of his child had left, but also the girl he’d been in love with since college? 

After saying goodbye to Aidi, YN throws an awkward smile to him and walks out of the room, waiting just beside the wall. She knew Aidi wanted to be tucked in by her daddy, she had told her many times how he always said I love you, and she thought she’d give them some privacy.

She could still hear them from outside the room, the door still open, and she bit her bottom lip hard once she heard the sound of Harry’s kisses and Aidi’s quiet giggling.

“Daddy loves you so much, bug. Don’t ever forget that” she hears him say in a soft voice.

“How much?” She hears Aidi ask, and she picks up on that question she’d asked her about the time previously at the ice cream shop. This was probably something she did often with Harry, and she really had to refrain herself from peeking inside the room to watch them.

“This much!” He laughs. “How much does Aidi love her daddy?” 

“What!!!” She hears him say, probably feigning shock, “that little!” 

“Yes, only a little” Aidi playfully giggles, and then Harry makes a growling sound and: “the tickle monster’s gonna getcha!” 

Laughter erupts and it reverberates in the hallway, and YN feels silly for standing there, invading on their privacy, so she gets off the wall and walks quietly down the hallway, reaching the staircase.

She makes her way downstairs, and once she reaches the sitting room she picks up her coat from the armrest of the couch, tugging it close to her chest to try and warm herself from the imminent cold feeling running through her body.

She hears Harry clear his throat behind her, and she jumps a little in her place. 

“Didn’t hear yah there” she gasps, bringing one hand up to rest against her beating heart.

“YN, thank you for today. I really…” she watches as he shakes his head, avoiding her gaze, looking for the correct words to choose, “’m proper grateful fo’ what you did.”

“’s okay, Harry” she interrupts him, “you don’t have to thank me. I love Aidi, she’s such a sweet kid”

“She is” he agrees, “but still. Thank you.” 

She nods her head at his words and gulps, and she really should’ve left it at that. It was probably the best thing to do; what any normal and sane person would do. She should’ve just accepted his thank yous, put on her coat  and left, but she didn’t.

“I never should have kissed you, Harry” she starts, “I’m so sorry if I overstepped some boundaries, I thought…” she sighs, biting harshly on her bottom lip. She doesn’t know what possessed her to say that, maybe the urge to get things back to normal, because it had been three days since the kiss and she already missed how comfortable their relationship had gotten.

“YN…” he shakes his head, stopping her, “’s okay, ’s the past, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but… I shouldn’t have. I know I shouldn’t”

“What are you sayin’, YN… that you regret it? The kiss? Tha’s what you’re sayin’?” He scoffs, crossing his arms against his chest, almost like a pouty child.

“Well I… no, but… it was kind of embarrassing” she chuckles nervously, her fingers tightening their grip around the thick fabric of her coat.

“So you do regret it. ’s fine. I understood right away, clearly nothing has changed between us, you’re still really hard to read and I’m kind of tired of trying to understand you” he snaps, passing a hand through his hair frustratedly.

“I’m hard to read? — YN humorlessly chuckles, pointing an accusatory finger to him — You’re confusing! You tell me you liked me and then after I let you eat me out you leave me like that? That was so embarrassing, why would you do that?”

“Oh… are you sad you didn’t get to return the favor? You made me feel like a fuckin’ slut!” He says, exasperated. 

“Is that what you’re so mad about? That I called it a… favor?” Her brows pinch at the front, and she looks at him pointedly. 

“No, I’m mad because I love you and you’ve been playing with my feeling since we were fuckin’ 20 years old. But don’t worry. It’s clear now.” He snaps, somehow trying to keep his voice down to not wake Aidi.

YN feels her head spin at the conversation, and his words replay in her head, hauntingly.

“You love me?” She repeats in a small voice, but he seems to not get her question, because he keeps rambling: “I’ll get a nanny, okay? So we’ll never see each other again at school, and once the semester ends I’ll sign Aidi to another class, she’ll be so sad but it’s fine, it’ll pass. I’ll try and find someone before the end of the week, so we’ll never…”

“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” She chuckles, because the situation is funny to her and she’s still hang up on those three words he said. She doesn’t miss the bewildered look that displays across his feature, his green eyes bright and reflecting in the dim yellowy light of his sitting room.

“Figured yeh’d laugh! ’s funny to you, innit?”

“It is a little bit funny. — she nods, grinning — I don’t want you to do any of that!” 

“YN… i don’t think I can see you everyday and…” he sighs, his sweater clad chest heaving.

“Harry” she stops him, raising a hand up to squeeze his bicep between her fingers, in a way to make sure he was giving her undefined attention “I don’t want you to do that because I don’t want to stop seeing you. I didn’t think you loved me”

“I literally told you! So many times! And I think I showed it too…” he shakes his head, but doesn’t remove his arm from her hold.

“I kissed you! I thought you understood!” She exclaims, pinching the fabric of his sweater with her fingers.

“How am I supposed to understand if you don’t tell me anything!” He says, and for the first time, he locks eyes with her, his gaze softening at the sight of her big eyes looking hopefully inside his.

She giggles despite the uncomfortable conversation, and Harry shakes his head, “You’re so frustrating” he admits, sighing heavily once again.

“And you’re silly! I let you eat me out!” She whispers, even if it’s just them, because the intimacy of that gesture didn’t go unnoticed by her.

He doesn’t say anything, his gaze unfocused.

“I’m sorry I never said it back. — she admits, sighing — I really liked you. I didn’t think you’d even noticed me… I didn’t realize how hard I was being. I’m really sorry.” 

“YN… ’s fine, I’ll get over it” he trails off, once again.

“No, listen to me, okay? I’m sorry. I genuinely didn’t know, back then. And I’m sorry I didn’t say anything when you told me weeks ago. I thought you weren’t being serious. But I liked you too, I really did. And I wasted a lot of years thinking you didn’t like me back, but it’s not your fault. I should’ve been more… more clear, maybe”

“Yeah, that would have saved us many years probably” he agrees, his heart in his throat, wary of her next words.

“Yeah” she agrees, “what I’m trying to say is that… I loved you and I still love you. If you still want me. I love you” she confesses, and she feels as if a weight has been lifted from her chest, the heaviness of her words finally setting her free after so many years of bottling up her own feelings.

“You really hurt me” he whispers, looking harshly into her eyes, and he bites the inside of his cheek before saying, “really hurt me. It’s unfair you’re telling me now”

YN swallows down her saliva, biting hard on her bottom lip, the harshness of his words hitting her, because truly, she never really thought about his feelings.

On the other hand, she’d like to tell him how much he had hurt her, and embarrassed her, but what good could it do? She already revealed the most important thing about herself: that she loved him. And she hoped it wasn’t too late. 

“It’s okay if you… if you don’t like me anymore” she shakes her head, scared of her own words, because she doesn’t really mean them. It’s not okay. She doesn’t want to give him away. She wants him. 

“I know ’s been a long time, but…” she continues, “I thought you had to know how I feel about you, because I never said it back. And I’m not a spiritual person for shit, but… I can’t help but think maybe this is another chance to make things right. I had to tell you. I couldn’t not tell you. And I’m really sorry for hurting you. I’ll leave now, if you don’t want me here…”

“We can pretend this conversation never happened and just… you don’t have to make Aidi change classes, I like her” she says, and it comes out in a plea, really, because she doesn’t think she has it in her to lose them now. If he wants to pretend this heartfelt conversation never happened, she’ll be sad, but she’ll do it. For the sake of their “friendship”. Because she doesn’t want to lose him again.

Harry seems to ponder a bit on her words, and in that space of time she’s almost ready to put her coat on and leave, as she should’ve done before, and she’s almost there. She’s on the point of slipping her coat on, but Harry raises one hand and takes her coat from her hold, throwing it on the couch beside them. 

“I don’t want you to leave” he whispers, taking a step in front of him, they’re so close now their chests are almost touching, “don’t leave.”

“Okay” she nods, “I won’t.”

 He leans down to be closer to her face and he presses his lips on her forehead, not quite kissing her, more like a comforting presence, and she feels the tenderness of his gesture. 

“You really do make me go mad” he sighs against her skin, his arms sneaking around her waist, squeezing her against him. “But I love you too”

YN feels her inside warm at his words, and she wraps her arms around him too, squeezing him tightly. She was never good with words, and she’s glad he understood anyway, despite her messy attempt at confessing her feelings.

She looks up to him then, resting her chin on his chest, and he leans down to press his lips against hers. This kiss is much different than the last one, much more soft and less hungry, and even when he slips his tongue to lick at her bottom lip, there’s nothing but tenderness in his gestures.

He brings one hand up to caress her cheek, his fingertip light as a feather against her skin, and YN feels herself melt in his hold. The gesture makes her think back about that time on the bus, how he had touched her so softly, almost scared he’d ruin her, and she thinks about how much things have changed, but mostly nothing had, because he loved her then and he loves her now! 

His tongue brushes against hers, and she sighs into his mouth happily. 

When he parts from her mouth, he gives her another small peck, his lips wet against hers, and “taste like chocolate” he hums against her lips.

“Mmh, about that…” she ponders, “you might have to buy Aidi a new coat, don’t think those stains are gonna come out” 

“Yeah? I thought I told yah no ice cream ‘fore dinner?”

YN laughs a laugh through her nose, and leans in to kiss him again, ���you love me”, and there’s nothing but adoration in her eyes.

“I do” he agrees, looking at her fondly.

“And by the way, don’t worry about the coat” he smiles, “reckon I’ve gotten quite good at doin’ laundry, there’s no stain that can resist me” 

“I’m really proud of you” she cackles jokingly, “i remember your mum used to do it for yah”

“Heyyyy” he pouts, “only sometimes”

She raises on her tiptoes to press her lips to his in a brief peck, but when she goes to part from him, he only squeezes her tighter against him to deepen the kiss.

“Let’s go upstairs” he breaths out, “you still have a favor to return” he says playfully, and one hand travels down to her bum to pinch at the skin.

She swats at his chest but turns around, in a hurry to reach the stairs, “yeah” she agrees, turning to look at him with a mischievous smile splayed across her mouth “we wasted enough time already”

“Tell me about it” he mumbles, biting his bottom lip as he watches her sly smirk, “thank god you finally came to your senses”

They both laugh at his words, and Harry follows her upstairs to his room, picking her up and throwing her on his bed. That night, he finally gets to kiss all over her body, as he had dreamt many many times, not only in college, but even then, when he thought she was too far away to reach despite seeing her every morning when he left his daughter at school.

Harry, too, isn’t a spiritual person for shit, but maybe, he allows himself to think, this is what it means to be loved, and he finally doesn’t have to wonder anymore what’s so hard to love about him, because, despite not knowing, he’s always been loved, in the years he’d known her, and YN, in the arch of their relationship, and in it’s imminent future, will make sure to tell him that, many times, and the memory of all the wasted years, will remain, thankfully, what it always was: a memory.  

Just wanted to take this small space to thank you all for liking and reblogging the first part, you have no idea how happy you made me, so thank you so so so much 😭 the story is over but i can do updates in the future if you guys want <3, i really hope part 2 didn't disappoint, feedback is very much appreciated. love you all

🏷️ taglist: @indierockgirrl @onlystylesss28 @gemofthenight @summertime-pills @lomlhstyles @sicklscream @watarmelon212

[chlobliviate]

Wolfstar Microfic - Azkaban

Words: 993

@wolfstarmicrofic

TW: suicidal ideation in a hyperbolic way

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

The first night that Sirius spent at Remus’ cottage after being ordered to ‘lie low’ there wasn’t ideal. Nobody wanted to wake up their ex-boyfriend with their night terrors. Nobody sane, anyway. Sirius wasn’t entirely sure which side of that line he fell on anymore, but when he woke up to Remus holding him to his chest and reminding him where he was, he hated himself.

By the time they moved to Grimmauld Place, it was established that Remus would tell Sirius a story about their time at Hogwarts as he fell asleep. This helped Sirius to remember, but it also helped with the night terrors, which they both suspected were some kind of lingering effect of the dementors.

Remus had his own room at Grimmauld Place, and he usually retreated to it once Sirius had fallen asleep, even though they’d shared a bed for months before that. It helped him to keep things separate. Telling Sirius stories about their teenage selves was hard at times. Remembering James and Lily, remembering Peter and remembering how in love they’d been. He didn’t know how much Sirius remembered of their relationship, but as most of his positive memories were taken, he probably remembered a lot of the last few months and not much else. He mostly stuck to stories about James and Sirius, or the four of them.

“Tell me about us.” Sirius had whispered after a few weeks, as Remus got comfortable next to him. “I know you’ve been avoiding those stories.”

“I didn’t know if you’d want to hear them,” Remus said. “Or what you remember.”

“I remember shouting at you in the shack and there was blood, but I don’t remember why.” Sirius said, “That seems like an important one but I can’t get to most of it. Tell me that one?”

Remus chuckled, knowing the exact memory he meant. “Alright. So, this was about a month after Lily agreed to go out with James.”

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

“Moony!” Sirius sounded frantic as Remus struggled to open his eyes. “Can you hear me?”

“Unfortunately.” Remus groaned. Sirius was shirtless, and covered in blood. He looked up at Sirius, panicked. “The fuck did I do? Are you ok?”

“I can’t stop your shoulder from bleeding. What do I do? James has gone to get Madam Pomfrey but you’re —”

“Oh, it’s mine? Just leave it.” Remus’ eyes shut again, “I’ll sleep it off. It’ll be alright.”

“You can’t sleep off blood loss you unbelievable prick. Wake up!” Sirius shook his uninjured shoulder slightly, pressing his shirt against the wound on the other.

“Sirius.” Remus growled, “Shake me again and you’ll wish you were dealing with the wolf.”

“Sit up!” Sirius ignored him. “You can’t go back to sleep.”

“It’s fine.” Remus’ eyes closed again.

Sirius snapped, “It’s not fucking fine, Remus! Sit up and open your eyes.” Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist and hauled him into a sitting position before reapplying pressure to his shoulder. He felt Remus smile against his shoulder.

“If you wanted to wrap your arms around me, all you had to do is ask, Padfoot.” He said, and Sirius swore that Remus’ teeth grazed his shoulder. “I think all you can do is apply pressure and hope for the best. I’ve got a lot of blood.”

“Moony, I love you, but when you’re not bleeding profusely in my arms, I’m going to be so fucking angry with you. ‘I’ve got a lot of blood’ is not— No, you don’t. You have the same amount of blood as anyone else, you wanker. Sometimes it’s like you don’t value your life.”

Remus, half-conscious as he was, felt very called out. “My life doesn’t have much value, to be fair.”

Sirius inhaled sharply, “No. Because you don’t have people around you that would do anything for you. You’re not a fucking wizard. Your life has no value.” He said sarcastically.

“Didn’t mean it like that, Pads.” He mumbled. “Don’t.”

“Then how did you mean it?” He shouted. He would have walked out if he didn’t know that Remus wouldn’t be able to hold the shirt on his shoulder.

“Well, I love you too, by the way.” Sirius almost dropped the shirt as Remus’ eyes closed again. “When you have no choice but to turn into a monster once a month and repeatedly take chunks out of yourself, you can judge the way I cope with it. I’m in a lot of fucking pain and I just want to sleep. Thank you for helping, as always, I appreciate it. I’m just so tired.”

“No.” Sirius poked his cheek until his eyes opened again. He looked mutinous. “You're going to stay awake. I think I can hear them in the passage. Once you’re patched up, you can sleep.”

“You’re going to make me talk about this later aren’t you?” His eyes almost closed again, but he managed to open them and blink a few times.

“Of course I am.” Sirius could feel his heart pounding in his head.

"You could just focus on the love part, and not the hyperbolically suicidal part, if you wanted.”

“We’ll see.” Sirius tried so hard not to smile. “If you tell me again when I’m not covered in your blood, I’ll think about it.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Remus said as Madam Pomfrey burst through the door, followed by James, who took one look at Sirius and almost threw up.

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

“So when I got out of the hospital wing, I couldn’t wait, I pulled you behind a tapestry on the way to Charms and told you I loved you again. You were still pissed off, but I convinced you that I was pretty determined to stay alive.” He looked down at Sirius who was asleep. “You don’t know how much you’ve always helped with that.”

He considered going back to his room, but eventually slipped beneath Sirius’ duvet and curled up against his back, wrapping an arm around his waist.

[reidslovely]

She’s Having My Baby (Maybe) Pt. 2

Content Warnings: Mention of pregnancy..duh, throwing up, overall pretty fluffy 

Pairing: Frat! Peter Parker

You ask and I deliver. The pregnancy tests are back and they are....

Please instead of liking/hearting this post leave a reblog and/or comment 

Everything around Peter began to blur slightly as the words fell out of his mouth and the vomit crept back up your throat. You stared at him, tears starting to fall down your cheeks as you swallowed roughly.

“Positive? You..you’re sure.”

“All three…positive.” He confirms looking in the sink and back at you, his hands placed firmly on the sink. “Oh baby, oh baby no don’t cry.”

He’s rushing over to you hands taking your cheeks in both hands, fingertips brushing tears off your cheeks. “Shh..talk to me. Look at me bashful please.” Peter’s touch could always settle you. It was some weird phenomenon that you both discovered a week into sleeping together.

“Where’s ya head hmp? Are these happy or sad tears?”

“Happy…scared. But, happy.” You manage your words out. His ears tingled hearing your heartbeat going back and forth between patterns. “Oh my god what if it comes out with eight legs and four eyes.”

Peter held back a laugh at the pure panic of the thought and nodded. Going through his mental scripts of possible responses before shaking his head.

“I have nothing to say that could possibly make you feel better about that possibility.”

“Oh god.” Peter hugged you tightly, knowing the possibility was slim to none. “I got you.” He was swaying in spot smiling to himself kissing your temple. “We gotta tell May.”

-

To say the days that passed in a weird blur was an understatement, most of your time was spent with Peter. Getting lunch, making doctors appointments, him walking you to and from class. Peter was the most clingy you’d ever seen him. You thought your hormones were only supposed to bother you but it was like Peter’s own senses and sensitivity increased by twenty percent. Which you saw in full when telling May the good news.

“You guys both have class today. What are you two doing here?”

May asked putting her bag down as she came in still dressed in her scrubs. Peter smiled, letting go of your hand patting the spot next to him for May to sit. “What’s going on? I’m nervous”

“We just had something to tell you and we both wanted to be here to do it.”

May’s brow furrowed, her hand searching your hand for a ring before clapping her hand over her mouth. You smiled nudging Peter letting him know the time is now.

“We’re gonna have a baby..she’s pregnant.” Peter says after your encouragement. Tears rolling down his cheeks, it was the first time he had said it out loud. Peter wiped his eyes trying to laugh it off breathing out a small ‘fuck’

“I’m gonna be a grandma.” May says her lips are quivering. “I should be mad..I gave you the safe sex talk but I can't because I’m gonna be a grandma.” May’s voice cracked with joy pulling her nephew..her son into a bone crushing hug. Peter’s joyful sobs could be heard in the hug. You laughed with your hand resting on your stomach.

“How far along are you?” May asked to move over to you holding you in a hug. “That's a Peter question, he did the math to the exact.” You laughed leaning your head on May’s shoulder.

“Three weeks and five days almost a month” Peter smiles sitting on the other side of you.

You and May laughed at the three of you sitting in a hug.

-

The frat brothers were starting to catch on that something was off. Harry especially. He’d passed Peter's room multiple times, the two of you laughing, your shirt pushed up over your stomach Peter’s attention clung to it like he was waiting for something to happen. He’d been pestering Miles, Peter’s freshie, to see if he had spilled any information to him. But he hadn’t, which lead to Harry cornering Peter himself.

“You guys okay? You’re acting weird.” Harry asked Pete one night outside of a party. He had noticed how you hadn’t had a single drink and how Peter had his arm placed around your waist territorially.

Peter took a long drag of the cigarette passing it back to Harry. His lips fought the smile but his joy betrayed him. “I’m sworn to secrecy.”

“I hate you, fucking tell me,” Harry whined holding his hands out dramatically to his friend. You stood in the doorway laughing, walking towards Peter. “Just tell him Pete, he’s a uncle he has to be prepared.”

“What?” Harry stated looking between the two of you confused before his eyes widening. “I fucking knew it..”

“No you didn’t” Peter laughs as he and his best friend trade a hug. Harry engulfed you in a hug, picking you up slightly in the hug. “Easy, don't jar the baby.”

“You guys are having a baby?”

Miles yelled out as he walked out the back patio. Peter laughed and tilted his head back over his shoulder. “Come on, join the celebration.”

“You know now that he knows the whole frat is going to find out by the morning.”Harry teases the freshie leaning his arm on Miles' shoulder who awkwardly laughs.

“I know..” Peter laughed, his hand resting on your waist, thumb stroking your hip.

“You worried about a…”

“Superhuman pregnancy? Absolutely I’m not sure how we are gonna play it off. I’m waiting to hear the heartbeat any day now.”

“You guys have been hooking up forever I’m sure you can pass her off as further along.”

You nodded, resting your head against Peter’s shoulder closing your eyes as he practically held you up. “I’m gonna get these two to bed and I’ll be back down.” Peter says putting his beer down and turning you around.

-

As Peter helped you change and got you into bed you smiled peppering his face with kisses any chance you could. “Pregnancy has made you so clingy, bashful.” Peter teases laying next to you hand rubbing small circles on your stomach.

“I know, I’m sorry.” You laugh laying on his other arm turning to look at him. You open your mouth to talk but Peter shushes you, hand from your stomach clapping over your mouth. “I hear it” He says excitedly. “I can hear it, it's small but…it’s there.”

“The heartbeat?” You ask as he presses his ear to your stomach. You felt jealous that Peter could hear it, this one moment you cursed that you weren’t bitten by a radioactive spider as a teenager. You’d have to wait a couple weeks till your next appointment before you could hear it.

“I need you to tell me if you’re a boy or girl.”

“They can’t hear you yet!”

“She has a heartbeat at only three weeks who's to say she doesn’t have ears by now.” Peter says kissing you and your stomach excitedly. “I gotta go tell Harry and Miles.” He says flinging himself out of bed and running out of the room.

-

It took a month before the whole frat and your friends found out. Miles did his best to keep it in for as long as he could but he and Harry had gone in together on the first baby present and instead of getting it shipped to May’s like they had planned Miles kept the delivery address as the frat house and when the baby carrier showed up on the doorstep he had outed the secret to Joey and James, who then proceeded to tell the other brothers. The word spread around your friend group so fast that you and Peter couldn’t even stop it before getting greeted with hugs and congratulations. M.J. and Betty calling you immediately to verify the information.

Which made walking into the common room of frat and everyone sitting around less awkward coming back from your doctor's appointment. “This is not a baby shower.” James says, putting his hands out. “But we wouldn't do something nice for our friends and our newest little brother.”

“Or sister.” Harry says. Peter smiled looking at you, his face pressing into your hair. Tears were already building in your eyes as you tried to blink them away.

“So come sit, the chair is for bashful.” Harry laughs standing up. “Sorry Parker you're standing.”

Your hand rubbed over your bump already poking out a bit. You were big for about two months along and everyone couldn’t help but to comment on it but it wasn’t too big of an issue for people to be speculating.

“What is this?”

“Some necessities. You got a stroller.” James says pointing to the black stroller. “We tested it in store made sure it was safe.” You laughed and looked at Peter imagining what these ten or more frat boys looked like in the baby sections of the store testing a stroller.

“But open this one first.” Harry pleads, placing a small bag in your lap.

You furrowed your brow and reached in the bag pulling out a dark red onesie with the Theta Tau letters on it and all your friends' names scribbled on to the onesie with a message. “Oh my god.”

“I fucking love this.” Peter says placing it on your bump. “Oh she’s so wearing this home from the hospital.” You smiled at how Peter always referred to the baby as she, he wanted a daughter so bad. You think back on him referring to himself as a girl dad when you first told him about the possibility and your heart swells.

“I don’t even want her to wear it, I just wanna frame it cause it's so precious.”

“Oh she's so wearing this to game days, parties, everything.” Peter laughed, folding the onesie and putting it in the bag.

“Let's open the rest of these, yeah? We spent most of our monthly money in the baby section if the boards  ask if it was for a social event.” James whispers, pushing the next book towards you.

-

You stood in Peter’s room at the frat house looking at the massive bump as you stood in a pink dres as Peter labeled a few boxes that needed to be moved back to May’s. “I’m huge.” You sigh turning to Peter with a pout.

“No you’re pregnant and don’t forget you're so sexy.” Peter says standing up kissing your cheek, his hands resting on the bump rubbing slowly. “Get me all types of worked up looking at ya’.”

“You’re right. I’m still hot.” You smiled leaning against him to kiss him. “She is going crazy today.”

“I know I hear her moving around in there.” He says pushing a few boxes against the wall.

“Stop, no you can’t.” You say hand on your stomach as you start to walk down the stairs. Peter fixing the buttons on the pink button up.

“I absolutely can. She’s got a real future as a swimmer.”

You couldn’t help but cackle, grabbing his arm walking down the steps towards the party. You hear your friends filming the ‘Hi I’m so and so and I think your gender is…’ and you laugh at some of their statements. “Are your parents gonna FaceTime during the reveal?” Peter asks, sitting you down on his lap in a pink lawn chair. You nod holding his hand on your bump resting your head against his.

“And these are your parents.” Miles says panning the camera over to them.

“And we think you’re a girl.” You smile. “But Miles already knows and he’s been so good that I couldn’t even get it out of him.” You hummed, and Peter nodded knowing how hard you tried.

Mingling while nearly eight months pregnant is extremely hard. Your feet hurt, you’re tired, and all you really wanna do is sit down in comfy clothes and watch TV. But being with your people and Peter helped. Everyone was so sweet and they weren’t always trying to have their hands on you. May was supportive keeping you hydrated and entertained when you weren’t feeling up to walking around and talking.

“He is so excited..you both are.” May laughs looking around. “It’s nice to see everyone coming together for you guys. I was worried Peter would never have this type of connection with people..I’m glad I met you.” May takes your hand squeezing.

“May I’m hormonal, you're gonna make me cry.” You say fanning your face. You kissed her hand and hugged her.

“Okay everybody, time for the moment we’ve all been waiting for!” Harry announces standing on the table getting everyone's attention.

“If Miles and I could have mommy and daddy over here please behind the chemistry table thank you very much.” He says jumping down resting his arm on M.J.’s shoulder.

Peter took your hand walking you behind the chemistry table smiling at the set up in front of him clapping his hands excitedly. “So Peter and our girl here are going to mix these three combinations. Two will turn green and one will turn pink or blue to show the gender.” Miles explains. Peter puts on his safety goggles and helps you with your glasses smiling.

“You’re loving this aren’t you?”

“Absolutely I am.” He whispers, kissing your head as you both work together mixing the (Non-harmful) chemicals to get reactions.

After mixing you two stepped back taking your glasses off watching the mixtures bubble and foam the first two turning green and the last one taking its time. Foaming over into a light pink color settling into a dark pink liquid.

“It’s a girl! I knew it..I fuckin’ knew it.” Peter yells, hugging you with excitement evident in his tone. You knew he’d be excited no matter what but this was a whole new level. You jump up and down hugging each other. May and your main group of friends flooding you both with hugs. You knew your baby was coming into an amazing and supportive family.

-

The spring semester had ended and you and Peter moved back into May’s attic which Peter had worked hard to turn into a bedroom and half nursery. It looked beautiful but Peter had also turned his old bedroom into a full nursery after May insisted it would be best for when the baby was a little bigger and she could help out. He was so excited and anxiously awaiting that anyday know his little girl could be here. You didn’t lift a finger: Peter made dinner, carried you up the stairs to bed at night, basically bathed you..everything you needed done Peter did for you.

Which is why him working late with Octavious tonight was stressful and anxiety filling for you. May had came home earlier but she was sound asleep in her recliner, and you’d really hate to bother her for a drink and snack. In the dark light of the living room you stood up, trying to gain your balance. Waddling into the kitchen you grabbed a green tea from the fridge and a small bag of chips from the bowl.

“Oh fuck.” You gasped breathlessly, a shooting pain in your lower left side. You grabbed the counter and took a deep breath and started timing it in your head. You started your walk back to the living room before water gushed out from between your legs. “May..May!” You whisper yelled looking at her already sitting up.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, sit here.”

She says watching your panicked face sitting you down she rushed to the hall bathroom grabbing a towel dropping it over the puddle. Already having the house phone between her shoulder holding your hand.

-

Hair on the back of Peter’s neck stood up and he was bolting for the door yelling out apologies to Otto before his phone even rang. He was about a block down from the lab trying to get a lab when May called.

“I know I know I’m on my way.” He says. “It’s the…spider sense that alerted me. They’ve been so heightened lately I don’t know how I can feel it so far away.” He stomps his foot in frustration running down an alleyway looking for a good spot to start swinging.

“It’s called fatherly intuition Peter, sometimes you just know. Not everything is Spider-Man related.” May says rubbing your hand breathing with you.

“Her go bag is in the hall closet. I'm three minutes out, maybe four.” He yells from a rooftop hanging up and starting to head that way.

“I’m not letting him swing me to the hospital.” You say softly laying your head back.

May laughs “I’m calling Dr. Alvarez everything is fine. I’m gonna put your bag in the car and we’ll be there in no time.”

You weren’t sure if everything was moving at 2x speed but it felt like Peter was there in no time. Carrying you to the car and sitting in the backseat with you. “She’s coming.” He says excitedly kissing your temple. “Of course she’d pick today.” He laughs nervously.

“She’s already giving you a hard time.” You joked looking at him grabbing his hand as another contraction started.

“Just like you.”

-

Six hours later you sat exhausted in the hospital bed holding your newborn daughter, Peter crouched over you head against your sweaty head. “Oh look at her.”

“She’s already got your face.” You laugh. “I think I can’t really tell. All babies look the same sometimes.”

Peter laughed, kissing your cheek, nodding. “They really do but she's got my nose and lips for sure. She’s got your hair.”

“I love her.” You say kissing her head. “And I love you Parker.”

“I love you bashful.” Peter says kissing your lips quickly, before leaning down and kissing the little girl's head, her legs kicking in response. You smiled, handing her off to Peter watching him rock her slowly resting her on his chest. You fixed your hospital gown and thanked whatever made you walk into that frat party two years ago.

This came out waaaay longer than I expected it too but once I got started I couldn’t stop. Hope this is what you guys wanted, it’s not proof read at all because I was so excited to post it. 

Taglist: @helloheyhihowdyheya​ @sincericida​ @a-lumos-in-the-nox​ @moonyslove78​ @messymissy​ @adhdhufflepuff​ @toomanyfictionalboyfriends​ @ateliefloresdaprimavera​ @eevylynn​

[the-most-faithful]

“Harry was also abused but he didn't turn into Snape”

This argument is likely, once again, to blame Snape. With a speech that sounds a lot like: "Harry also had a bad childhood, but he didn't become like Snape, he could have chosen to be good too" Do we really want to compare them? Let's go in order, I partly understand where this phrase comes from. Harry and Snape are in similar situations as children, as is Tom Riddle. Recluses in the Muggle world, poor, halfblood, misunderstood, treated badly by parents and peers etc... The similarity is fitting up to a certain point and fascinating BUT from the age of 11 onwards it no longer holds.

When Harry arrives at school he is no longer poor, he discovers that he has a mountain of gold left by his parents, to put it in a refined way: he is filthy rich. Snape never will be. Once Harry arrives at school he makes friends with Ron and other Gryffindors, makes positive friendships, is welcomed by the Weasleys, and finds people ready to protect him. Snape, on the other hand, had only one true friend (we will return to this point in the next chapters), Lily. Everyone else in his house wasn't really friends with him and had a bad influence on him over the years. He never had the support of teachers or other responsible adults. No one ever defended him, in fact he was heavily bullied for years in the place where he should have welcomed him and no teacher, no one defended him. Indeed he was blamed.

The similarities between the two disappear once they arrive at Hogwarts, Harry is famous and popular, Snape is not. Harry is respected, Snape is not. Harry has real friends, Snape doesn't. Harry has people protecting him, Snape doesn't.

So out of the love I have for Morgana, let's avoid making comparisons that don't hold up. If and I mean IF Snape had found himself in the exact same situation as Harry perhaps he wouldn't have become who he became and vice versa. Harry found support, if he had been alone, bullied and marginalized he would have made decisions and a different path.

I'm putting all the Snaters' false accusations into a Wattpad collection, if you have any other points not yet covered let me know in the comments or privately COLPE e MERITI - G. Monti E. - Wattpad

[xreaderbooks]

'Til death do us part

Pair: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: Y/n comforts her husband, Sirius, after having a nightmare, post-Azkaban. Based on THIS request.

Warning: nightmares

Word Count: 1.1k

Songs I listened to while writing: You Are a Memory by Message To Bears, Rescue by Lauren Daigle, Je te laisserai de mots by Patrick Watson

Sirius Black Masterlist - Navigation - Wattpad - AO3

You woke to the jostling and jerking from the body next to yours, the shouting and screaming came next, and your heart was already pounding at a high-speed rate due to the scare out of your sleep. You thought there was an attacker or that your home had been broken into. A ridiculous thought since you’ve been used to having your sleep cut short by your husband in this exact same state.

“Sirius,” You shook his shoulder gently to pry him out of his nightmare. “My love, wake up.”

He shoved your hands away as he bolted up into a sitting position, his eyes were open wide now, tears at the corners of his eyes. The normal silver was bloodshot from his crying and lack of sleep.

“Y/n?”

“Another one,” Your eyes softened at his state.

He brought his knees up to his chest, bringing them in closer with his arms hugging his legs. Your heart tore a little at the sight of how vulnerable and young he looked. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Your voice was slightly above a whisper. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He wiped the flowing tears as they came, “It’s the same thing, over and over again.”

Sirius has opened up to you about his nightmares time and time again when he was stable enough to speak about them. The feeling of his soul being sucked out of him was similar to how you feel when you dream about falling except instead of your heart jumping it was your spirit that was being pulled painfully away from your body. He couldn’t stop it, couldn’t wake up from the dream as you normally could when you fall in your sleep.

His chest began to heave, his breathing quickened with shallow breaths.

“You’re okay, you are just fine,” You reached out to place a hand on his chest. “You are here, you are safe.”

Sirius began to sob with never-ending tears, “I can’t- I can’t.”

You shushed him with a small shake of your head, “It’s alright, you’re alright. You don’t have to be strong right now, let it out.”

“Can I hold you?” He asked shyly. It reminded you of your years at Hogwarts together when you first started dating, he never wanted to push your boundaries, set on proving how good of a boyfriend he can be. He wanted to be gentle for you.

“Of course,” You lay back, your head on the pillows and lifting the blankets letting the cool air hit you as he laid on top of your chest, placing them on top of him. He was fully wrapped in comfort, the top of his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck, both of his arms around your middle, clutching him to you tightly.

He once compared the feeling of the dementors tearing him apart to how it would feel if you were to ever leave him. He would let you go if it was what you wanted, but that was how much it would hurt. You reassured him that you would never leave him, you were his forever. 

“I’m sorry,” He repeated in a sob. You felt his body shaking atop yours, and the back of your eyes stung, but you couldn’t cry now. He needed you to be strong right now, and you would be, just as he was all those years.

It wasn't his fault he was framed, but somehow the guilt still ate away at him as if he was the one who betrayed Lily and James. What he told Harry in the Shrieking Shack when he had finally caught Peter was nothing short of the truth, he would have rather died than betray them, and yet...

12 years apart, he blamed himself for trusting Peter, for leaving you alone. He had no knowledge of whether or not you survived if you blamed him just as everyone else had. The Aurors held you back as they arrested him but he couldn't tell by the look on your face. There was too much going on. 

12 years, you were married to a 'murderer'. You were now married to a wanted man, you weren't even able to go on a honeymoon. Your wedding was only two days before his arrest. 

“Do not apologize to me, Sirius,” Your tone was stiff and with meaning. “I’ll repeat it as many times as I have to, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Tu es trop parfait pour moi, tu ne mérites pas d'être coincé avec moi,” He muttered into your neck.

You brushed the hair that was stuck to his skin from his sweat, both of your hands working to hold his hair into a short ponytail, you had a hair tie around your wrist and tied it to his hair to cool him down. With the back of your left hand which was freer than your right that was currently running tickles up and down his back, you checked his temperature, Sirius’ body heat was running hot. To the best of your ability, you tried tugging down the blankets on both your legs.

“English please,” You teased. You loved it when he spoke French but you couldn't help but feel that at the moment it was something you weren't meant to hear. 

He unhooked one of his arms from you and grabbed a hole in your left hand, his thumb playing with the diamond on your ring. “I love you.”

“That is definitely not what you said but-” You pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I love you more, Siri."

Sirius lifted himself onto his forearms, hovering over you, his head tilted noses touching. You closed your eyes and leaned forward to kiss him but he pulled back before your lips could touch. Instead, he pecked your cheek and lay back on his own side of the bed. “Not possible.”

You went onto your side facing him, your hand holding your head up. He had his hands pressed to his eyes, you took his left hand and kissed his ring. “Hey.”

He turned his head to you, and you played with his fingers as you spoke, “I love you.”

He nodded simply, turning his head to look at the ceiling again.

“You’re never going back there, ever, I’ll fight whoever I have to.” You tried to, you were the only other person who knew who the true secret keeper was but they wouldn't hear it, especially because you had no evidence. Peter was gone, nowhere to be found. 

He chuckled, “I’m sure you will, darling.”

“Til death do us part, remember?”

He fully turned his boy to you, grabbing both your cheeks in his hands, he gave you a long kiss before pulling away and leaning his forehead against yours. “‘Til death do us part.”

~~~ translation: Tu es trop parfait pour moi, tu ne mérites pas d'être coincé avec moi ; you're too perfect for me, you don't deserve to be stuck with me.

[vera27]

Black and white and colored. I've included a little fic below. It's my first attempt at tomarry or harrymort.

Temporus Secare

Summary: When Harry accidentally travels to the past, he takes up the alias Henry Dursley, parading as a squib employed at an enchanted machinery shop. There he keeps himself out of trouble and stays in the shadows, all while working on a device that will take him home. Sometimes he struggles with the pureblood patrons but Harry is quick to apologize and nothing comes of it in the end. A year into his struggle, and he's completed the necklace. But when an unexpected visitor appears, someone that's been watching from the shadows, Harry has no choice other than to fight and irrevocably change the future.

The peat and dirt below Harry chilled his knee, bringing frost to his skin. All of this…. His chest heaved, fatigue from the day baring down on him in chains. Laboured breaths fogged the air. He felt hopeless, desolate.

Happiness was elusive. A thing that could never be tangible, leaving it to slip through his fingers. He’d had it back home, back years—decades—into the future. Picturing nights at the Burrow or evenings at Grimmauld place surrounded by Ron, Hermione, the Weasleys came easily and accompanied by infinite warmth. Yet now, all that happiness—love and family—was gone.

All of this…. Harry’s fist tightened. He ground his shoe down. The tissue beneath gave until he felt the harsh grind of bone. The man under him grunted, his eyes glinting dangerously in the dark of night.

‘You already have me at your mercy, Dursley. I did not take you for a man of violence,’ the other said.

Black hair that mirrored the surrounding night, pale skin, and eyes akin to blood reflected. On his face, flaunted smug satisfaction. Harry felt anger rise, noxious and acidic. The man beneath was human—enough to make his hand twitch with the killing curse—and yet not. A wax doll with no heart. A monster that had split his soul thrice. He wanted to purge this vile man. Rid the world of him, if only to prevent what was to come. But killing him wouldn’t accomplish anything. It couldn’t bring Harry back home, and Voldemort would rise again.

Harry looked away. On his neck, the iridescent gemstone dimmed to a dull grey. The luminosity, the pathway, lost. Above, the moonlight shone red like Voldemort’s eyes. He shut away the sight, taking in the dead silence of winter’s end.

All of this…for nothing.

It wasn’t supposed to go this way.

Harry had planned everything, had his movements down to a bulleted list that would make Hermione proud. There were rules. Stay quiet. Don’t involve yourself in raids, attacks, murders. Anything brash, Gryffindor, could change the timeline irrevocably. Past that, find a way home. And he did. Not through Albus Dumbledore, not through the Ministry and the unspeakables, but through the author of an informative research parchment on time travel and time rifts.

Evan Nerian Prewett had been integral in the development of the Temporus Secare. A time turner of sort. One that, rather than turning time backward, created a rift to an exact point in the future. A fickle device that could posit multiple realities but only allowed passage to one through a series of rituals, star alignments, and lunar cycles.And there was but one future that Harry was interested in.

‘An interesting necklace. Prewett holds a rather brilliant mind. A pity he’s been diagnosed with a terminal ailment,’ Voldemort continued.

Something sick roiled in Harry’s stomach. Prewett lying on the bed at St. Mungo’s, there to stay as his illness progressed, flashed in his mind. The man had little more than weeks left, but he’d poured all the effort he could into helping Harry get here.

Harry ground his heel into Voldemort’s shoulder. ‘Shut it,’ Harry hissed, still not meeting the other’s eyes.

‘Touchy,’ Voldemort said.

What a bastard. But Harry didn’t snap back. Silence sunk back in as he scrambled to think. Options. Plans. He could play it by ear. It wasn’t far from the usual, after all. They’d ended up improvising time and time again, as things had tended to go awry. This wasn’t any different. Harry took a calming breath. He could Obliviate him and—

‘I’m guessing that rather dull colour it has transitioned to isn’t what you’re looking for,’ Voldemort continued.

Harry bit his lip.

‘Thought not,’ he said.

Harry could hear the sly smile in his tone. Resentment prompted him. He dug his wand into Voldemort’s chest, sneering down.

‘One more word and I’ll split you sternum to hip,’ Harry spat.

‘Promises, promises. However, if you were going to kill me, I imagine you’d have done it earlier,’ Voldemort smiled, cruel and manic.

‘Who’d have thought the quiet, bumbling clerk at Le Voile was such a cold-hearted sadist? So clumsy in the store, but here you’ve bested me. Did you have fun hiding in plain sight? Did you enjoy acting as if you were nothing but a worthless squib, catering to the most arrogant of purebloods?’

His wand dug into the other’s chest, the tip sparking noxious green flecks across clothing.

Harry didn’t hate working for Le Voile. It was a tiny establishment, quaint and filled with magic. The owner—a Soul Seer—had taken up the obscure business of attaching the departed souls of familiars to mechanical bodies. The work performed was worth it. But there was some truth to what Voldemort said. Harry hated working the counters, being subjected to scrutiny day in and day out. He’d tuck his magic tight to his chest, smothering his power so it couldn’t stretch, breathe. Dimming it day after day. But the small shop checked off his list. A business that didn’t exist in the future, that wasn’t in Knockturn Alley, and that was niche enough that few customers stopped in.

‘The fire in your eyes speaks for itself. But you certainly fooled Malfoy. Grovelling with your head to the floor, murmuring apologies in that obedient tone. A talented actor. I wonder, is Henry Dursley even your real name?’

Harry flinched at the accusation.

‘Such an accomplished liar. Possibly even better than I, but the cracks are there. Bowing like you’ve been cowed since birth, but you fight like you have been fighting all your life. I do love that undaunted bravery. However, I must say the sight of your submission was quite...enticing. How I’d love to see it, you, kneeling between my knees.’ Voldemort smirk turned salacious.

Harry reeled back. His stomach turned and twisted. What the fuck?

‘D-do you ever shut up, you psycho?’ Harry cursed his stutter, cheeks both pinking and paling at the thought.

Voldemort laughed. It was loud, not nearly as high and shrill as he knew from before. Harry blinked, stunned. Then, as fast as a snake, Voldemort struck.

A red curse spelled from his wand. Rouge rolled over Harry’s skin. He felt his muscles tense. Immobile from the stunner, Voldemort flipped them round. His tall, lean body loomed over Harry. The expression on his face was obscured by the night’s shadow. Light from the moon lay hidden behind clouds.

Harry cursed and writhed but was bound from inside his mind.

A hand, much too cold to be human, hovered over his brow, touching his scar and sliding to his cheek. Dabbling in dark magic had already made its mark. Red eyes glinted in the dark of his face. They looked hungry, ravenous. Harry would’ve shivered if not for the binds that held him.

‘You’re an enigma, Henry,’ Voldemort said almost playfully. ‘To others, you seem to be nothing but a pebble in a river of gold, but I can see it. I’ve known since the moment your eyes met mine. Your value, your power. It calls out to me as if an old friend. I feel it’s warmth, it’s raw strength, and I know you can’t be anything further from ordinary.’

His thumb trailed down Harry’s face and to the hollow of his neck. Sharp nails cut against the buttons of Harry’s shirt, tearing it open and allowing in the cold. Gooseflesh rose on his skin, either from the winter air or Voldemort’s icy touch. Harry couldn’t tell. But the hand continued on its path, sloping over his collar and to his chest. Trepidation filled him with a terror he’d never felt.

What was Voldemort doing? Why was his hand on Harry’s chest?

Its slow drag came to a pause above his heart. On his core.

Harry’s body resisted the cold of Voldemort’s touch. It felt stomach-churning, disgusting, yet at the same time, Harry felt oversensitive, vulnerable to its lazy movements. But then, something sparked. A magic unlike his own reached through the tips of those fingers to Harry’s core and caught fire.

The air escaped his lungs, everything coming into picture. Colours flared to life, bright and vibrant. Sounds heightened, sharp and full. Harry could feel the trickle of sweat drip down his nape. He could hear the ragged breaths of Voldemort above him. Senses heightened to overstimulation. It was too much and too little at the same time. Pain and pleasure. A wholeness to Harry’s soul that he didn’t know he was missing settled in. His finger twitched.

The stunning spell was coming loose.

Voldemort moaned to the sensation. Above Harry, the man’s eyes were blown in arousal. Harry’s breathing caught. The moon shone through the clouds, illuminating them. Red painted Voldemort’s face in a flush, melting waxy features to something much too human.

Harry shivered, trying to move, but was still bound by magic.

Voldemort laughed again. This time low and deep, a strange sort of mania rolling with every hitched chuckle. He leaned into Harry’s space; face much too close for comfort. Hot breaths ghosted Harry’s cheek. The hand on his chest rose to his nape. Fingers toyed with the chain of the artefact, teasing it forward.

‘What a precious thing. One that I almost let slip by,’ Voldemort whispered.

Then tugged.

The chain snapped. Links broke. Golden rings rained down in the dark. Voldemort rose from him. He held the item—Harry’s only way home—and inspected it. Would he take it, steal it away? No. Harry wouldn’t let him. This was something much too dangerous to let fall into Voldemort’s hands.

‘Ut te ad mundum,’ he read the words carved into metal.

To take you to your world. The golden bands around the greyed gem glinted. Harry’s heart pounded. His wrist twitched. The magic binding on him loosened further.

Voldemort took one look at Harry, rose his wand. But not towards him, and spelled.

‘Deletrius.’

His yew wand pointed to the device. The Temporus Secare shown one last flaxen gleam before it turned to dust, the gem falling inert to the ground.

Harry howled. A raw scream tore from his chest as magic flared from his core. A scorching wind rose and tossed Voldemort off him. He stood. Voldemort grunted from the burns on his hands. Harry towered over him once more. His wand aimed at the other’s chest, heel digging into his clavicle.

‘Why? Why did you destroy it!?’ Harry demanded.

Voldemort smiled, that manic expression still on his face despite his palms—red and blistered from burns.

‘I won’t let something of such value slip past my grasp,’ Voldemort said.

Harry stared at him in confusion. Valuable? He’d destroyed the device. It wasn’t a vanishing charm or a displacement spell.

‘What are you talking about? You destroyed the necklace. You aren’t making any sense,’ Harry said.

‘Yes. A steep price. But it’s worth nothing in compare to you.’

His brows furrowed. He observed the blood red that tracked his every move, twitch, and the dark glint of his eyes that seemed to look with… with....

The burned, blistered hand snaked out to grab his ankle. Fingernails dug into his flesh.

‘ “You.” You’re referring to me?’ Harry said in a breathy voice, like it had been punched out of him.

‘Yes,’ Voldemort said, his voice sibilant as if speaking parseltongue. ‘I’m drawn to you. I won’t let you go.’

Harry’s heart dropped. His hopes trickled away—sand between his fingers. Eyes that darkened with obsession bore into him.

‘My magic sings to yours. My soul longs for you.’ Such horrible promise lingered in the air. ‘Your mine as much as I’m yours.’

And Harry knew he was never going home.

[cantcompetewhereudontcompare]

This got long so for the sake of the tags I'm adding, to not clog people's timelines in case they happen upon it, I'm adding a cut off. But this message is diabolically wrong, and I'm here to prove it word for word.

1- I haven't talked about morals in terms of Louis, and all I said about Zayn is that he's a domestic abuser. You sure are very sensitive about someone just repeating facts, huh?

2- Real people can't queerbait. Wearing quirky clothes wouldn't even qualify as queerbaiting anyway. This argument against him got stale in 2020. Keep up.

3- He hasn't said a single thing in support of Israel's government. All he said, 10+ years ago, mind you, was that he wanted to perform there. That's raging zionism to you? Are we not in the year 2024 seeing the damage and destruction of Israel in real time? And what actual raging zionists condone and how they behave?

And what if I told you that Harry was courted by Israel to perform there for Love On Tour, by literal Israeli politicians like Idan Roll, mind you, and Live Nation Israel was DESPERATE to get him to perform there, offering him millions and he flat out refused. Because he said in 2013 that he wanted to perform there but it is now 2024, he has toured the world as a solo act twice now, in very lengthy tours, and he has yet to perform there. And his last tour ended months before October 7th too. So the single thing he has said that could be interpreted as supporting Israel (Israel fans, mind you, not their government or their actions) 11 years ago didn't even end up happening when he was offered millions.

The tweet supporting Israel is debunked. This is the only screenshot of it that exists, and it was fabricated by the same person that fabricated this, the same exact day:

Unless you want to believe that both of them tweeted the same exact thing on the same day and somehow not one single screenshot exists? Not a single article by western media?

The picture of him holding the Israeli flag is him actually holding the Spanish flag:

"He did a power fist when a reporter at a press conference said she was from Israel" he did that with like, every reporter:

When he "signed an Israel flag" it was for a dying fan who got to the 1D concert through Make A Wish. "Zayn refused" no it was after March 2015, so he wasn't in the band anymore. I guess he shouldn't sign a flag if a fan who has cancer and is dying asks him to?

"He followed a zionist journalist" no, he didn't. He followed Lliana Bird, the co-founder of Choose Love, formerly known as "Help Refugees"

Which is an organization that has raised $2 million for Gaza

and has been calling for a ceasefire, consistently, since last year. Like, here:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Choose Love (@chooselove)

"Oh but she wrote a zionist article" except she didn't, she bothsided things like hell, for sure, but she was incredibly kumbaya about the whole thing (like I presume Harry and his friends are, because they're libs at the end of the day). This is the article, from 2014, btw. Here's an excerpt:

Do I personally agree with it? No fucking chance, but this is what most pro-Palestinian people will agree with lmfao. Like, it's an incredibly radical position that you can only find being massively supported online to be fully pro Palestinian and understand that while you can't condone extreme acts done on civilians by Hamas, at some point radicalization is impossible to avoid and a logical conclusion of the heartbreak and pain Palestinian people have been subjected to for decades. Like, it's NOT a popular opinion. Lliana IS the mainstream opinion for pro Palestinian people. And this was her opinion 10 years ago, considering her organization is fully supportive of Palestine (and Lebanon) now, I presume she has inched more towards the "other side" than in the past.

And Harry supports her organization!!

He has for several years now:

Like, this was for his first solo tour:

"But he raised a hammer" he grabbed a toy from the audience and waved it around, like he does with multiple things at almost every single show. Maybe he saw the Israel flag, maybe he didn't, going from that to "oh he supports the slaughtering of children" is fucking ridiculous and no one outside of stan twitter would even entertain shit like that. Once again, that was 10 years ago.

He was 20, and he probably had as much information on the war between Israel and Palestine as the average person: ie, almost nothing. It wasn't until recently that we started getting more information from social media that people learned of what truly was happening and had been happening for 75 years. Mainstream media is STILL lying about it, hiding facts, to our faces, even though it slips through the cracks thanks to social media.

People didn't massively support Palestine or even know about what was happening until AFTER October 7. A lot of people still don't know!!

"He could've educated himself" sure. And we all should educate ourselves on this sort of thing. I still have a lot of blind spots about a lot of terrible situations happening all around the world, and I'd like to believe I'm fairly radicalized and informed. That does not make someone a genocide supporter. Ger your head out of your ass.

"But he dropped a Palestinian flag" no, first of all it was a scarf with a tiny Palestinian flag on it. The idea that he managed to see it in a split second with literally no lights whatsoever is laughable. You think this man is superhuman. The amount of times he has grabbed and dropped things quickly is astronomical. You know why? For this very reason. To avoid controversy if he happens to be thrown something unsavory. He doesn't grab things he can't recognize, as much as he checks things before waving them (ever since he was tricked into waving a flag with a Larry message on it, back in 2015). There's so many videos of him doing the exact same thing with multiple stuff, just watch him interact at any given show.

The only other argument for his supposed "zionism" is that zionists have spread rumors of him supporting them, like a fan claiming that he saw her from across an arena holding an Israel flag and idk waved at her? Or a comedian claiming he said he wanted to go to Israel in like, 2017 (why hasn't he gone then? lol he's saying he wants to go to random people but he doesn't just go? when begged by their own politicians to go? How does it work?) It's just zionists doing typical hasbara, where they act like everyone supports them. The ridiculousness of him specifically seeing this fan (who had to use someone else's video in which it just looks like he just waves in the general direction she was in) and waving at her because of her Israel flag, which was covered by the people in front of her, mind you, shouldn't even have to be explained, but alas.

They do this with lots of celebs. It's typical for them. And most of the time it isn't real. Israeli fans were celebrating that Harry was finally going to Israel last year because Live Nation Israel was desperate to secure the deal and spreading it all over the internet in Hebrew, only for him to decline (and he flat out declined and said he was never gonna perform there, btw, I know this for a fact, but can't exactly divulge how I know, the fact that he... well, didn't, should be enough, I suppose).

Do I wish he would speak up? Absolutely. Do I think he's a terrible person for not speaking up? No. He's just a white lib.

4- His friends are not him. He's friends with people who are morally questionable, like literally most people on planet earth who have friends. I would personally disavow people who are pro Israel, no matter how little or big their support is, because I'm informed on the subject and care a lot about it. I don't actually talk to my irl friends about this, tho. It's not exactly a subject that comes up unless you're prone to discussing politics, and a lot of people aren't, and I respect that. So I could very well be friends with people who ignorantly (or assholently) support Israel, without me knowing. I don't expect that Harry is as informed on the subject as me, and least of all, that he's sitting down with Ben Winston and having heated debates about the Israel Palestine situation.

Ben Winston took Harry in when he was 18, alone in London and away from his family. He was a friend when he wasn't even famous. He and his wife supported him and gave him the consistency he yearned for in crucial years of his life. I despise the man, but Harry is never gonna drop him.

It's an immensely privileged situation, for sure, but that is reality for most celebrities, especially white male celebrities. And truth of the matter is that 99.99% of celebrities have zionists in their circles, because it's incredibly prevalent in positions of power in America (it's by design, and no it's not because they're Jewish, most zionists in America are actually evangelical. It's for the same reason scientology is so prevalent in Hollywood. It's a very large discussion that we can have some other day). I don't personally condone it but to act like it somehow translates into their own personal beliefs is absurd.

If Harry had expressed an ounce of sympathy for the government of Israel, or chosen to perform there despite everything, or signed a pro Israel petition, or literally any other form of support for Israel, then MAYBE I could entertain this criticism. But what he's guilty of:

Playing with a toy with the Israel flag in 2014, like he played with a bunch of other toys with flags of a lot of other countries, including American flags (and boy, we need to have that argument at some point)

Saying he'd love to perform in Israel in 2013, and then never performing there even though he was offered millions and begged to do so

???? existing in Hollywood?

Stan twitter has been trying to twist itself into knots into him being a zionist ever since he became massively successful as a solo act. Literally grabbing randomly photoshopped tweets and pictures, twisting him following Lliana, photoshopping an Israel flag onto a picture of him, twisting him signing a flag for a fucking DYING FAN. Like, man, if you have to do allat then maybe he just ain't a zionist?

And lastly about the subject, his family (mon and sister) and plenty of his very close friends (like Molly and Tomo) have been calling for a ceasefire and being openly pro Palestine on socials ever since last year. But of course, Ben Winston being a dick overwrites all of them, right?

5- There's no indication that Harry has ever cheated on anyone. It's possible he did, but not a single one of his exes has claimed so. Taylor openly admitted that while he was hooking up with other people so was she, and she repeatedly said that they were friends, even right after they broke up. Going to LENGTHS about it too, btw

Camille has been supportive os him even years after breaking up. Like, this is her interaction on a photo of him performing a song he wrote about her at the Grammys, after he won a fucking Grammy for it. She seems really cut up about it...

Do I need to mention Kendall?

Or Olivia?

His exes have literally NOTHING but good things to say about him. All of them!!! No exceptions. Even Caroline Flack, who he briefly dated (ew) when he was 17 had nothing but positivity to say about him. Even girls like Georgia Fowler, who he was seen with once, were positive about him years later.

I fear you're alone on this "cheating" thing. If he did, we don't know, and his exes don't seem to gaf, so why do you?

6- Homewrecker is such a ridiculous thing to say. You can't wreck a home as an outsider. He's never been married and he doesn't have children, so he couldn't have wrecked any homes. If you mean Olivia Wilde, chances are she did cheat on her ex with him, but where exactly do you get that Harry knew?

Mind you, Olivia's nanny came out with a tell all about the cheating, with text messages to boot, and she herself said Harry had no idea. This is from the "tell all" article:

It's likely Harry ended things with Olivia because of this article, finding out that she had lied to him lmfao. So how exactly was he a homewrecker? If he didn't know and was actively lied to by his girlfriend for two years, and ended things after he found out? (Mind you, look up the dates for this article, for the canceled Chicago show, for Olivia showing up in Chicago out of nowhere, then leaving, for his mom and sister showing up in Chicago out of nowhere, how many times they were seen together and what their faces looked like after the article, etc).

Unless you mean when he was groomed by 32 year old Lucy Horobin when he was 17, who also lied to a 20 year old member of another boyband, back in 2011, who explicitly said he didn't know Lucy was married lol

So, are you calling a 17 year old being groomed by a 32 year old married woman, who likely lied to him, "a home wrecker"?

Don't bother replying because you're blocked. But thank you for the list of things to debunk. And have a taste of Zayn being a cheater and a home wrecker (his own home! btw!)

Like this, when he was engaged to Perrie Edwards and was completely unapologetic about it, until he was caught. Then went on to twitter to say it wasn't what it looked like, but the girl has explicitly said that it definitely was lol (she went to a reality show later that year)

Or what about this?

When the whole Cristabel Riley thing happened, remember? Harry was involved too. But he was an 18 year old single boy, seeking consensual sex with girls who were of age and weren't even fans, but groupies. Zayn? Zayn was with Perrie (they'd been dating since early 2012, this happened over the summer of that year while they were touring America)

Remember when he was caught over Skype with the Riach brothers, talking to girls? They were in a hotel in New York after 1D's MSG show. The MSG show Perrie attended.

The article and the video about it have suspiciously been deleted off the internet, but here are the old links to the article and the video

But here's a post about it on a pop culture forum (it does not pre-date Perrie, as I said, this was late 2012 in New York while 1D was performing at MSG. Perrie literally attended the show).

Here's a Ziam blog (lmfao) talking about the timing going by the hotel in the background, just in case. It's pretty irefutable.

There's that infamous video that I can't find now, taken from a peephole, where Zayn sneaks a girl into a hotel room, and you can see it clearly. Also dating Perrie. The other phone call that was recorded, also dating Perrie. The groupies who have posted pictures from his house on their public social media as he was dating both Gigi and Perrie, which I won't link out of an abundance of caution (does the name Christina ring a bell?)

There's this with TOWIE's Abigail Clarke while he was with Gigi

There's Gigi filing a harassment report and Perrie being very open about her issues with him.

I don't give a fuck if he fucks every single woman in Pennsylvania. More power to him. There's nothing wrong with sex, but to have his fans (because you are his fan) come here and call someone else a cheater and a homewrecker is certainly ironic.

Zayn has cheated on every partner he's ever had multiple times. It is heavily documented and one of his exes has made it extremely clear. So I would look inwards if I were you.

Celebrities are problematic just like the rest of us. Nobody is perfect or has perfect friends. I strongly disagree with pointing out moral issues with celebrities to justify not liking them. I actively encourage people to embrace their inner hater without feeling the need to find morality issues for it. Just hate for the sake of hating otherwise you'll be a hypocrite.

But there are lines that you shouldn't cross. Violence, particularly violence against women and children. Sexual misconduct. Those things I don't play about (and nobody should) and I WILL call them out. So Zayn and Liam are fair game for me to bring up their moral issues. I don't dislike them because of them. Trust me I disliked them way before, and I don't need a reason for it, but I sure as hell will call them out on that as well.

I dislike Louis as well, but I'm not gonna make his dubious morality a focal point of this blog because he's a flawed human being like the rest of us. He has not had any accusations of violence or assault or sexual misconduct, so I don't feel the need to question his morality.

I'll talk about his homophobia not because I want to "cancel him" but because he has built his fanbase around a conspiracy theory that hinges on him being gay and oppressed because of it. Don't get it twisted. I'm here to expose his fanbase first and foremost, and that sadly for him, will decant on exposing him. Because that's the only way there is.

What he does with his life is none of my business otherwise, as long as it doesn't cross that very obvious line (and so far it hasn't)|

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 10th of March, 2024

This is speculation only

Cards drawn on the 10th of March, 2024

Question: Did King Charles ever plan to 'give' the Commonwealth Realms to one of his sons in some way?

Interpretation: Very possibly

Card One: The High Priestess

The energy of this card is of hidden secrets that have yet to be revealed. The card shows Persephone as Queen of the Underworld, the place where secrets are hidden, blocking the path to the daylight world so the secrets can not escape and be revealed. The energy is very strongly of secrets, things that are hidden and are not yet ready to be revealed.

This is very frustrating for me as an answer to my question because I wanted to know!

Card Two: The Seven of Wands

This is a card of arguments, strife, and holding your ground. It tells me that there have been arguments about this behind the scenes, but not what the arguments were about. The energy is of someone being stubborn in the face of opposition - like X is saying "you can have M and I will give N to someone else' and the person is saying 'No, I want N", or as if a person is being told No but they are persisting in their idea and trying to find a way to make the No a Yes. It is very much an energy of standing your ground on an idea and not backing down or giving it up.

Wands are the suit of PR, and I have bits from media reports to throw into the mix (sorry these are all Australian):

At one time King Charles, then the Prince of Wales, offered to be Governor-General of Australia and was turned down by the then Prime Minister, Bob Hawke (PM from 1983 to 1991). Charles said about this later  "So, what are you supposed to think when you are prepared to do something to help and you are just told you're not wanted?''

As background to this, in 1976 there was a letter from the royal household to the then Governor-General of Australia, Sir John Kerr, stated that the Queen did not want Prince Charles to be Governor General until he had a 'settled married life'. So the topic was raised by the Australian Government at that time.

Both Prince William and Prince Harry apparently expressed an interest in being the Governor General of either Australia or Canada in 2009. It was reported that the princes "would give very serious consideration" to the offer if it was made to them, which obviously did not happen.

Card Three: The Sun

The Sun is a very positive and optimistic card. In answer to a yes/no question it means yes. It is a card of success, confidence, and truth. The picture on the card is of the god Apollo, the favoured child of the ruler of the gods, Zeus. "Sun" also sounds the same as "son". All these things taken together tell me that yes, there was an idea of turning over the Commonwealth Realms to one of King Charles's sons in some way - maybe by having him as Governor-General of one or more realms, maybe in another way. The exact details are in those secrets being guarded by the High Priestess. :)

The energy of this card is that of the golden child, the favoured son, the one who can do no wrong. That energy tells me that if this idea/plan was successful, then the position would go to whoever was the favoured child of King Charles at that point in time.

Underlying Energy: The Lovers

This is a card of choices, relationships, balance, and unity. The energy here is of partnerships - those within King Charles and his family, and those between the Realms of the Commonwealth and Great Britain. I feel that it was important that nothing was done to disrupt the relationships between the Commonwealth Realms and Great Britain, so the bestowing of a realm on one or both of the sons of the Prince of Wales (as he was then) could only be done with the approval of the government of that realm, and that was not forthcoming. It's all about people being able to choose their own government, King Charles wanted to choose a realm for each of his sons, and the delicate balance that maintains the partnership between the people of the realm, their government, and their relationship with the Royal Family and their official Head of State.

Conclusion:

The details are secret and are not yet ready to be revealed, but it looks like there was an attempt by King Charles to 'gift' a Commonwealth Realm to each of his sons, or to 'gift' all of the Commonwealth Realms to one son. This idea would disturb the balance between the people of the realm, their government, and their head of state (the monarch of Great Britain), and so has not yet eventuated.

[saintsenara]

Unhinged ships Fenrir Greyback edition: Fenrir Greyback/Lucius Malfoy ; Fenrir Greyback/Hepzibah Smith ; Fenrir Greyback/Voldemort ; Fenrir Greyback/Dolores Umbridge

thank you so much for the ask, anon! i'm thrilled to see all the love dear old greyback has been getting recently!

fenrir greyback/lucius malfoy

as i said here - in relation to shipping greyback with narcissa - i find greyback's relationship with the malfoys in deathly hallows incredibly compelling. the absolute collapse in their social standing when they lose voldemort's favour - and the fact that voldemort clearly sanctions them being humiliated by other death eaters - lends such an interesting dynamic to the potential relationship between lucius and greyback. after all, we see that greyback is extremely deferential to bellatrix - who retains voldemort's goodwill - even as he's happy to mock lucius, and we can assume that, during the first war, lucius could also expect to have greyback kneeling for him...

[if you know what i mean.]

and then discovers this position reversed when he collapses to mean even less to voldemort than a werewolf.

and then learns that greyback has been holding onto some resentments about their earlier relationship. which he'd be quite keen to let out in the malfoy dungeons... especially when the alternative for lucius is to watch him exact his revenge upon draco.

fenrir greyback/hepzibah smith

they were introduced by tom riddle, who saw hepzibah making her way towards him across the three broomsticks - several pinot grigios deep and while wearing a very low-cut top - and decided to use greyback as a human shield.

fifteen minutes later, he was the least-welcome third wheel in history.

it was outrageous, he thought - miserably stirring his piña colada - for greyback to let down his master like this. he'd been hoping the werewolf would eat her.

and he did. just not in the way lord voldemort would have liked.

fenrir greyback/lord voldemort

i genuinely back this one.

voldemort ships most interestingly with people who are his "exceptions" - and who therefore can come to depend completely on him and his goodwill, both in a relationship and outside it. bellamort slaps because she's his exception in terms of gender, snapemort because he's his exception in terms of social class, tomarrymort because harry's the only person he considers an equal, riddledore because dumbledore is the only person who knows the secrets of his childhood, and so on.

greyback occupies - as i've said here - a really interesting position in the death eater hierarchy in that his lycanthropy [and the savagery with which he indulges it] makes him someone voldemort considers special in comparison to the rest of his servants, but equally someone he excludes from the broader social network the organisation represents. the marked death eaters - especially those who are related by blood, marriage, or both - all know each other, they're largely from similar social backgrounds, they all went to hogwarts - but greyback didn't. he's someone they - by virtue of their standing in society - consider beneath them. they would never lower themselves to socialising with him as a peer.

as a result, greyback depends totally on voldemort for his continued status [and, while greyback is undoubtedly terrifying, this doesn't mean he's unkillable - voldemort would have no qualms about offing him if he fell from grace, and he will know this].

and this has the chance to introduce a really interesting power dynamic. greyback is someone who - as lupin tells us in half-blood prince - is a powerful community figure among werewolves, who has great influence and authority over werewolf groups. he is not, then, the sort of man who would find it easy to take the subordinate, deferential position which voldemort would expect from him - after all, fucking a terrorist kingpin means that every aspect of any relationship you have is exclusively on his terms.

i think you can do a lot with that - with greyback's conflicting feelings over both enjoying and resenting being controlled, and with voldemort starting out by seeing him as nothing more than a sex toy and then starting to recognise impulses [to want to destroy the world which excludes him and to want to be embraced by it] which remind him of himself [which he finds both welcome and unwelcome].

it's hot. i'd read it.

fenrir greyback/dolores umbridge

offensive. he can do better.

[midnightstargazer]

Not to defend the overall narrative surrounding house-elves, but probably the #1 reason I'm so sympathetic to Regulus is that he didn't make Kreacher drink the potion.

House-elves are the lowest of the low in Wizarding society, and virtually nobody questions or objects to the way that they're treated. The narrative wants us to believe the Blacks were kind to Kreacher, but what we're actually shown says otherwise: his living conditions leave a lot to be desired, he harms himself as punishment for disobedience or failure, and then of course there's the whole beheading thing. I don't blame Regulus for any of this, because he was a child and would've had no say in it. But I think it's important to understand, where house-elves are concerned, his family wasn't that different from the Malfoys.

And yet, while I know some people do interpret his actions in a very uncharitable way (he was just upset that his property was damaged, etc.), I think there are signs that there was more to it than that. Kreacher himself states that "Master Regulus always liked Kreacher" (DH ch. 10), which implies that from an early age he showed him kindness and affection. Regulus described Kreacher's task for Voldemort as an honor for both of them; how many wizards would even consider whether or not something was an honor for their house-elf? And, while it's suggested he loaned Kreacher to Voldemort willingly, I don't think it's a coincidence that he ordered him to come home afterwards. He might not have suspected the task would be a death trap, but he knew it would likely be illegal and possibly dangerous. I interpret the order as an intentional precaution.

The exact reasons why Regulus turned against Voldemort are very open to interpretation. It could be he believed that making a Horcrux was going too far. It could be, as Sirius suggested, that he got squeamish about the reality of what being a Death Eater involved. But I do think protectiveness towards Kreacher must have been at least part of his motivation.

Why? Because he drank the potion himself.

This isn't an accident, either. It's emphasized by the narrative: Harry initially assumes Regulus ordered Kreacher to drink it, only to be corrected. It's portrayed as a shocking twist, and for good reason.

For most wizards, especially ones with Regulus's background, making the elf drink the potion would be the obvious solution. Hermione is right when she says what Voldemort did isn't that far outside the norm. Slughorn, who is generally one of the more positively portrayed Slytherins, used a house-elf to test wine for poison. The Blacks' family tradition is, specifically, "beheading house-elves when they got too old to carry tea trays" (OotP ch. 4) - so, they don't just preserve them that way after their death, they kill them as soon as they are no longer useful. Brutal physical punishments seem to be common, and their enslavement is accepted as normal and right by literally every character except Hermione. Wizarding society as a whole does not value the lives or welfare of house-elves.

But in the cave, Regulus prioritizes Kreacher's safety above his own. He drinks the potion himself rather than ordering Kreacher to do it, and once they've got the locket, he tells Kreacher to leave him behind. Regulus could very likely have made it out of the cave alive if he had been willing to sacrifice Kreacher, but instead, he ensured that Kreacher would be the one to survive.

Despite everything he had ever been taught about house-elves and their place in society, despite openly holding blood purist beliefs, despite it meaning the all-important family name would die out, he put Kreacher first. He kept Kreacher safe at the cost of his own life.

[satansapostle6]

Lovers and Liars | Draco Malfoy

Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott, both determined and resourceful from reputable houses, find themselves at odds in the name of love.

Warning: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen: Enemies

Everyone knew that Draco Malfoy was cruel. After all, everyone had seen the things he’d done to Harry Potter, or Neville Longbottom, or his own friends. But even then no one could have imagined the things he was capable of in regards to Lorelei Morrigan, the love of his life. No one wanted to know what would happen to those who dared cross Lorelei Morrigan. Of course, the position of most feared Slytherin boy at Hogwarts could have only possibly been held by one other person.

Everyone was also terrified of Theodore Nott, or at least they had been before he notoriously lost his memory at the hands of Alastor Moody’s imposter, allegedly. But the thing was, that Theo didn’t need to constantly terrorize, or showcase his power the way Draco Malfoy did in order to garner power and respect among the Slytherins. Of course, the same could be said for Hogwarts, although Slytherins lived in a different world entirely.

The other students of Hogwarts honored a variety of things like character and title, although the Slytherins were known for valuing only one thing; power. And as the saying went, power lied where men believed it to. Sure, everyone knew Draco Malfoy. Everyone feared his retribution, whether it came in the form of physical violence, or cruel pranks, or pure social destruction, not unlike the kind he secretly wished he could exact upon Theodore Nott.

If there was anything Draco hated, it was threats to him. He had always strived to eliminate every threat to him before it had the chance to make a fool out of him. Recently, the only one that had been troubling him was Harry Potter. There were two people Draco would’ve wiped from existence if he could; Harry Potter, and Theodore Nott. But alas, he had the foresight to understand that the only person worth the attention was Lorelei Morrigan.

The fifth-year Slytherins were currently in Astronomy, high up in the Astronomy Tower. Lorelei had been looking through a telescope, working on her daily observations when she felt a hand slyly snake around her waist. She let out a soft bout of laughter as she felt Draco’s face nuzzled into her neck as they eluded everyone else in the darkness of night.

“Draco,” Lorelei warned, struggling to sound serious.

“What?” he asked innocently, pressing a sweet kiss to her neck. “I can’t say ‘hello’?”

“I think you’re saying more than ‘hello’,” she stated.

“Hmm,” Draco chuckled, holding her close as he straightened her telescope. “What are you looking at?”

“The stars,” she murmured, pointing to show him, “Right there.”

“Mmm,” Draco nodded, looking only at her as he spoke, “Beautiful.”

“I love that constellation,” Lorelei pointed, “Have no idea what it is, though.”

“It shines so perfectly,” Draco thought to himself.

“That’s why I love it,” Lorelei agreed.

“Just you wait,” Draco vowed, “I’m going to buy you a bracelet that shines just like that.”

“You spoil me.”

“And I want the whole world to know it,” he nodded.

“Well, I’m not complaining,” Lorelei laughed.

Draco sighed loudly, genuinely content as he wrapped an arm around his girlfriend, looking back behind him to see if anyone was watched. Strangely enough, a meek Theodore Nott quickly turned away the moment he met Draco’s gaze. Not sure what to make of the silent exchange, Draco turned back to his girlfriend.

“Ready to do astrology charts today?” she asked.

“Of course,” Draco scoffed.

“Did you even prepare?” Lorelei raised an eyebrow.

“Of course I did,” he scoffed, “I’m a… gemini.”

Lorelei just raised her eyes as he continued playing around with the telescope, completely ignoring Professor Sinistra’s instruction.

“And what am I?” Lorelei questioned.

“Sagittarius,” he answered automatically. “That’s why we get on so well.”

“Sure,” Lorelei scoffed, subtly tossing her hair back to reveal the pair of pearl and diamond ears he’d gotten for her, “That’s why we get on so well.”

Lorelei and Draco both felt, along with just about every other Hogwarts student, that the best part about having Astronomy at nighttime was being able to walk the castle late at night once classes came to an end. They both found themselves more than occupied as they snuck around the lower levels of the Astronomy Tower.

“You know, Hogwarts is hardly where I’d be if I could choose anywhere in the world,” Draco confessed, as the two of them stared off into the cloudy abyss beyond the railing, “But this view really is something. If you’re bored enough,” he added.

“Where would you be, then?” Lorelei asked him, nuzzling into the arm wrapped around her. “If you could be anywhere.”

“I’d be with you,” Draco told her as he thought, “Maybe at a lake somewhere in France. Or walking the streets in Italy. Or the mountains in Chamonix,” he reminisced fondly.

“That sounds perfect,” she sighed, turning to look up at him. “Could we go after we both graduate? When we’re both seventeen?”

“We can go wherever we want,” Draco promised her, “Wherever yon want.”

“Oh, I wish that were true,” Lorelei breathed.

“It is,” Draco insisted, squeezing her in his embrace. “You wouldn’t have to work a day in your life, if you didn’t want to.”

“I don’t want to,” Lorelei agreed, as she looked out at the sky. “But, I want to achieve things. Great things.”

“And you will,” Draco said with confidence, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll do whatever I have to to get you what you want.”

“Once I’m working for Gringott’s, we can travel the world,” Lorelei said softly. “Every day will be another adventure. We’ll go wherever we please, and make our mark on the world.”

“That sounds perfect,” Draco smiled, head rested on hers.

The two of them admired the view of the dark, cloudy sky, memorizing every detail as if it were their last night sky.

*****

After quietly leaving Lorelei’s dorm room that night, Draco shut the door as softly as he could before heading to his own room through the common room. He was surprised to find that the room wasn’t empty. Sitting right there in front of him by the fire was Theo Nott, who looked up at him over the book he was reading. Draco cleared his throat upon seeing his enemy look at him through a stranger’s eyes.

Theo saw him and said nothing, politely going back to his book as Draco left the room, spooked by the eerie encounter. As far as Draco knew, Theo had almost no memory of any of his life before Lorelei had used a Memory Charm on him, but something in his deep blue eyes made Draco feel almost as if Theo was fully awake behind them.

The next night after dinner, Draco had grabbed onto Lorelei’s hand once they left the Great Hall, whisking her away before anyone could notice. Lorelei laughed the entire way as they ran out to the Quidditch pitch, feeling more alive than ever as she ran wild with Draco’s hand in hers. She looked over at Draco, and she knew without a doubt that he was just as happy as she was. A look she hadn’t seen in someone else’s eyes in the longest time.

Lorelei watched excitedly as Draco grabbed his broom, leading her out to the pitch as he allowed her to mount in front of him before he climbed on behind her.

“Ready?” he asked, laughing with joy.

“Yes,” she nodded, “Go!”

Draco laughed heartily as the two of them lifted their feet up off the ground, taking off on the broomstick, whizzing through the air. Lorelei screamed with excitement as they flew faster than she could compare to anything else in real life. She could feel every movement and sensation as she steered the broom with Draco’s arms around her protectively.

“I love you,” Lorelei said just as they slowed down for a moment.

Draco stared at her with bewilderment, unable to truly express how seriously he took the words.

“I love you,” he echoed.

They remained still for just another moment, before returning to their reckless broom ride across the sky. Their pure, unbridled happiness made minutes turn into hours, until they had to touch back down onto the ground. Lorelei looked around them in amazement as they landed safely on the pitch.

“Quick. We’ve got to be back before Filch finds us,” Draco told her.

“Race you back,” Lorelei grinned, taking off before he could stop her.

Draco chuckled to himself, prepared to run off after her, before he looked up into the stands, which he expected to be empty. Sure enough, Draco stopped completely when he saw Theo Nott, sitting in the middle of the stands, book in hand once again. Draco looked up at him in shock, unable to process what he was seeing. He stood there, mouth agape as Theo just slowly looked up to meet his gaze, no discernible expression on his face.

Tiring of the mind games, Draco scowled as he made up his mind. Scowling spitefully, Draco involuntarily balled his fists as he marched up the stairs, determined to confront Theodore. Theo hardly reacted as he saw Draco Malfoy charging towards him, completely unreadable.

“Hey!” Draco shouted angrily.

Theo finally closed his book, standing as he saw him. Now, Draco could’ve sworn Theodore Nott wanted nothing but trouble.

“Hello,” Theo said promptly, looking blankly at Draco. “You’re Draco, right? …Malfoy?”

“Cut it out!” Draco roared. “I know who you are?”

Theo chuckled charmingly at the irony, seemingly genuinely confused. “That makes one of us.”

“You’re not fooling anybody, Nott!” Draco hissed, wand pointed at Theo’s chin as he grabbed him by the collar. “I know you remember. I know you want Lorelei, but you can’t have her!”

“Lorelei?” Theo asked, letting the name settle on his tongue. “Your girlfriend? The one that I used to be with?” he guessed.

“Fuck you, you know exactly who she is!” Draco snapped at him.

“Look, I don’t remember much from before, but I know now that whoever I was before Moody cast that spell on me wasn’t exactly popular,” Theo offered kindly.

“Fuck no, you weren’t,” Draco agreed angrily, “You were always an empty, hollow shadow behind me,” he spat.

“I understand why you’d feel that way,” Theo nodded, taking a step closer to him.

Draco’s eyes darkened as Theo revealed a harsh, sickening grin.

“But just know that all the best moves are made in the shadows.”

Draco’s face fell as he finally realized that all of his suspicions had just been proved right, with no one else around to see. This entire time, for who knows how long, Theo had been plotting against him, determined to have Lorelei, his prized trophy, back. But Draco would’ve died rather than live to see that happen.

“That’s right. I know the truth. Of what really happened between us… Of what you did to me. But don’t worry; I’d gain nothing telling everyone now,” he plotted with conviction, “No. But don’t deprive me; try, and convince everyone that poor, harmless, confused Theo is out to get you. I don’t even think your girlfriend would believe you... You see, this is all happening because I’m waiting for the perfect moment to creep out of the shadows and end you.”

“I think you’d best remember that shadows only exist when the light allows them to,” Draco glared.

“You’ll never beat me at this game of strategy, and will, Malfoy,” Theo maintained. “I’m smarter than you. Better than you. I don’t want to take what you have; I want to destroy it before your very eyes, and shove your nose in it like the pathetic little bitch you are,” he said unpleasantly.

“Go ahead and try,” Draco encouraged him. “I will burn you to the ground.”

“There he is,” Theo laughed coldly, “The dragon. You know, you might’ve stolen Lorelei from me once, but I think you’ll find that keeping her is another thing entirely.”

“I think you’re forgetting,” Draco smirked, giving him a rough shove, “I stole her twice.”

Theo smiled, welcoming the competition.

“You have no idea what it means to truly hate, Malfoy,” he remarked.

“I don’t know how they managed to get your memories back, but I can make them go away again,” Draco reminded him, wand threatening his former friend.

“With the Trace still on your wand?” Theo teased. “I don’t think so. Don’t forget, Malfoy, I know that without your girlfriend, or shall I say my girlfriend, you’re nothing.”

Theo let out a grunt as Draco’s fist hit his face. Theo stopped for a moment to laugh as he wiped some of the blood from his chin, seeing proof of just how much he’d angered Draco.

“You always were a simple brute, Malfoy,” Theo said in amusement. “I can see why Lorelei chose you.”

“She will always choose me,” Draco assured him, straightening his black coat. “Get a fucking clue, Nott. She’s not with me because of anything I did. She’s with me because she sees who I am. That… is why you will always lose, Nott.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Theo smiled. “I won’t rest until you truly are the nothing we all know you are. But not quite as soon as you might expect. Because one day, Draco, when you have everything you could possibly want, and you think you’ve won… I will be there to rip it from your hands, and bury you. I will build my new life atop your ashes, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.”

Draco was seething, panting hard as he found himself tempted to punch him again.

“You know, with all the careless mistakes you’ve made… I think allowing Lorelei to take my memories was the best,” Theodore said with a smile on his face. “You reminded me of who I really am. What I hate. What I love. You gave me new life,” he professed, forcing himself from Draco’s grip.

He gave him one more mocking smile, walking off freely as he left Draco alone up in the stands. There were lovers and liars in the world, but it was always the ones willing to do both who never ceased to amaze.

-

Chapter Nineteen

[psicostyles]

PART I

Hello besties, hope youre doing amazing! this is a piece of smtg I wrote a long time ago, I just made some changes and I hope you like this time....

a/n: singledad!harry, main/oc, divorced!harry, co-parenting!, friends to lovers, co-workers.

sumarry: harry is a recently divorced dad and doesnt know what to do with his life, until he meets a beloved co-worker

For now, you need to pay attention to this equation. According to this theory - mathematically speaking - positive added to positive equals positive. This means that, if you have a positive action in your life and add some more, the result shall be positive as well, isn't it? You see, Harry started to work very early in his life to help his mom take care of their home. Late in school, he also had a part-time job so he could save some money for college. He was very into numbers, so he was planning to go to Computer Engineering in college just after he finished school.

But not everything is just the way we want, right? Harry has been dating this beautiful girl since his first year of high school. They started with a friendship when both noticed that what they felt was more than just friendship, so it was given a shot, and since then they got together. Add this sequence to your equation: Two young people in love, plus hormones burning in their skin after some shots of tequila, multiply to an empty bathroom. What do we have? Yes, an unplanned pregnancy. They were both sitting in Karen's bathroom when the test result showed two lines, just proving their theory. Karen told him about two weeks ago she didn't get her period yet. He said "Don't worry, everything is gonna be fine, yeah? You told me that things like that can happen. " He for the first time, wasn't right. Harry was always right about things. Karen was pregnant and devastated. Sure, she wanted to be a mother someday, but that didn't mean it needed to happen right now when there was so much ahead. Both did. They experienced devastation, and their parents felt disappointment as well. The four of them were. But still decided to keep their baby angel.

And thank God they did it.

She was their little jar of happiness and joy. Wasn't easy to get where they are right now. They sacrificed so much for this moment. Both worked hard, so it was possible to buy every necessary little thing for their little Cassie - short for Cassandra, Karen's gramma. Double shifts and sleepless nights for Harry while trying to get everything settled, Karen working on her projects as well as opening her little boutique. From nursery to study sessions online to keep on track. It was a nightmare for both until this exact moment when they held their little chubby-haired princess in their arms. She was such a pretty girl, a perfect mixture of his pale skin with the exact amount of melanin from her mother. Just perfect.

They got married when Cassie just began to walk. It wasn't a big ceremony, just signing some papers, and Cassie, who was only 10 months old when walked down the aisle where they stood while waiting for her, looking like two goofy. Cassie was holding a little box with the rings, and that was it. A perfect little wedding for a perfect little family.

Until they weren't anymore.

Cassie was 3 years old when her parent got divorced. Harry and Karen made the decision to have shared custody for the sake of Cassie. Weekdays for Harry, weekends for Karen. It was a decision for the three of them. Nothing bad happened with the couple for such a thing as divorce. Their wedding things didn't ring as right as one day did. That adolescent flame got colder, so it was the best solution. When they sat down to talk about it, Harry experienced a lot of hurt and they reached an agreement on what was best. After all, he loved Karen and what they had. After a while, he noticed what he loved was his idea of the perfect relationship they had. Nothing is always that perfect, but in his head, he constructed all they built - their home, their belongings, all the little things, and details... They made all of this part of their history, but they also crafted a story that will never be erased. So the happy ever after they promised is still valid, they will be happy even if they are not together anymore. Their bond was forever. They ended on good terms, so everything was fine.

Even being ungraduated, Harry is working in computer engineering in a little building in the city, it wasn't as he planned but, at least he gets the money he needs. Cassie is 4 now, she is a kindergarten and a very smart and energetic little girl. Sometimes Harry is still astonished by how much energy she has. That was Karen's side, because he loved calm and silence, on the contrary of his girls. Karen hadn't his for a while now, but she is the mother of his child so, somehow she was still his girl in a non-possessive way.

This particular Tuesday, the requirements and schedules were calmer than normal. His supervisor, Jonah, sent an email to his team informing them, that they had a meeting in the afternoon with a potentially important client. Turns out this client wasn't from the UK or any other English-speaking country, but a Spanish company, and to be honest the Spanish company called La Computacion, wasn't interested in a full English-only meeting. Not every single person in the entire build knew a second language which was a shame. Jonah found a last-minute translator so they could help them as soon as possible.

The meeting was at 3 pm, at 1:30 pm the translator was already there. Some co-workers weren't very comfortable with the foreign company, and many of them whispered ''Doesn't make sense, why they didn't get an English translator?" Harry was beside this particular worker and said

"Well Conan, it's not their fault if you decided not to study another language"

"Oh, you did study then?"

"I haven't," he confesses "But you didn't see me complain, did you?"

"You're such a little thing, Styles. That's why no one likes you. "

Harry just rolled his eyes and left the cafeteria straight to the conference room where the meeting was about to happen. When he got into his seat, he looked around the room seeing some familiar faces, sometimes nodding in a silent 'hello'. He kept looking around when he saw it, right there in the right corner, sitting facing the marble table while reading what seemed to be noted, a tall golden skin with wavy hair, looking attractive as hell just by existing. The sight of it, right there in the right corner, sitting facing the marble table while reading what seemed to be noted, a tall golden skin with wavy hair, looking attractive as hell just by existing, enchanted him.

Jonah entered to room, went straight to the table where the lady was, and opened his computer typing something fast, suddenly the white screen plugged in lit up, and three unknown faces showed up. The lady stood up beside Jonah, who had been sitting in the corner until then.

"Good afternoon everyone," everybody responded and, he continued, "This is Rebeca Rojas, our translator. Miss Rojas has worked with Mr. Sabino for a long time now. While I was panicking about adjusting this meeting, Mr. Sabino indicated to me, Miss Rojas. Believe me, when I say she is a life savior," he said laughing, the room joined him, so he continued, "Please Miss Rojas, introduce yourself"

Rebeca started to speak. She explained she was a translator, and teacher, and interpreted in her free time. She works for a publishing company as a translator of Latin languages. Just after her presentation, Mr. Sabino started to speak, and so did Rebeca. As Sabino spoke, Rebeca translated right away. He could swear, he was in love with her voice. She sounded so smooth, she was so quick and so interactive. The purpose of the meeting was to discuss a new platform they were trying to create for another company. And Sabino's company would sponsor their project. It would take some time since what they were proposing would take a lot of work, and when I say a lot, I mean it. It was an extensive project, with interactive pages, online consultors, and the options go on and on. The meeting lasted at least 1 hour and a half. In the meantime, Miss Rojas spoke non-stop. I mean just a few times to sip water. Harry keeps thinking he could never last the way she did.

Everybody was leaving the room. Harry waited so he could introduce himself, he had to admit it, he was feeling kinda shy. It was a hard-working woman who spoke more than one language, more than he could be someday as a human being. Was he exaggerating? Yeah, I think so.

"Hello," he said, giving his hand for her to shake. "My name is Harry, it's a pleasure"

She smiles and shakes his hand. "It's a pleasure Harry. You're good?"

"I'm great, what about you?" she nodded saying she was fine "The conference was just incredible. I'm glad I could join...So I wanted to ask you, you mentioned you're a teacher right? You only teach Spanish?" she nodded.

She smiled brightly and answered,

"Well, yes, I'm a teacher and all my work involves the romantic languages, and English, and a bit of German. I'm not that good, but I'm trying," she laughed.

Harry could barely contain himself. Her laugh sounded like Christmas bells. He was just so impressed and being this beautiful...Got him right in the stomach.

"So, like..." he said, but she interrupted it

"Harry, I'd love to talk to you, but I kinda need to go. You know...paperwork," she said rolling her eyes.

He nodded "Oh, sure. Let me walk you out?" he said, offering his arm, which she gladly embraced. 

After that, he went back to his own shit. But his mind was far away.

**

well thats it, lmk your feelings and if you maybe wants to read the second part or so...anyways

keep shining, i love you!!